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FILM REVIEW: The Expendables 2
by Eli Glasner Posted: August 17, 2012 1:00 AM Last Updated: August 17, 2012 10:25 AM Categories: Movies
Facebook 4 Twitter 4 0 Share 8 Email Stay Connected with CBC News More Stories under Arts & Entertainment Mobile Facebook Podcasts Twitter Alerts Newsletter Canadian country music gets ready for its big gala About the Author In the summer of the spectacle, The Expendables 2 comes lumbering Amsterdam's Eli Glasner back into theatres like a heavy ammo edition of Hollywood Squares Rijksmuseum CBC arts reporter, film reviewer and amped up on Red Bull and Botox. In 2010, Sylvester Stallone managed reopens in April resident ranter. to reanimate his career by directing an army of action movie has-beens after 10 years in an old-fashioned shoot-em up. The movie was trash, but the fans Rare 2nd photo of responded. So for the sequel Stallone cast his macho-man net wider for Emily Dickinson Other The Buzz Entries more vaguely familiar faces to round out his army of aging assassins. uncovered Most Recent Most Commented The movie starts in a nameless Asian locale. Vietnam? Nepal? I might have missed it under the explosion of exhaust and gunfire as Barney FILM REVIEW: ParaNorman More entries for (Stallone) and his crew come flying over a muddy hill in armoured FILM REVIEW: The Expendables 2 category: Movies vehicles that look like Delta Force meets Mad Max. Bin Laden, Lincoln films work around U.S. election FILM REVIEW: Is Drake planning an Aaliyah album without her family's Leading the charge are Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham, ParaNorman blessing? combat buddies performing in their own unfunny sitcom Mumble and FILM REVIEW: Cultural Olympiad tries to dovetail with sport Grumpy with jokes from the Two and a Half Men slush pile. Dolph The Expendables Lundgren is there with his lopsided grin, emitting various groaning 2 sounds. Terry Crews, free of the burden of being an action icon, seems About the Authors Bin Laden, to be enjoying himself, hooting and hollering while showering the Eli Glasner (128) landscape with hot lead. Randy Couture wears a little cap. It's darling. Lincoln films work around U.S. CBC arts reporter, film reviewer and Nan Yu joins the team as the IT specialist who need to prove to Barney resident ranter. she's as good at blowing away nameless foreigners as the rest of the election guys. Liam Hemsworth dies. Oops, I mean he plays a sniper named Arts Online (751) "Billy the Kid" who talks about hanging up his night vision goggles and settling down with the one girl who loves him. Then he dies. But it's for the greater good, giving Barney and team the best possible reason to Sian Jones (2) reunite: Revenge. Arts producer and culture vulture. Which bring us to one bright spot in the cast : Jean-Claude Van Damme. JCVD plays a dastardly villain (named Vilain!) who swans Margo Kelly (2) around in a trench coat and sunglasses and is looking to sell uranium to terrorists and even worse, steals Barney's favourite skull knife. At 51, the kickboxing legend doesn't look like he's aged a day, until he takes off those glasses and we see his Rip Van Winkle eyes. Susan Noakes (51) Senior writer for CBCNews.ca and culture Of course, if you've junkie.
converted by Web2PDFConvert.com seen the posters you Deana Sumanac (6) CBC News arts know there's still more reporter, lit lover and music geek. action icons to thaw out of deep freeze. Ar- nold returns in two Laura Thompson (8) short scenes, spitting CBC arts news journalist, music maven. out clunky one-liners faster than bullets from Jessica Wong (87) his Gatling gun. Bruce CBCNews.ca senior arts writer and pop Willis shows up culture smarty-pants. playing Bruce Willis in a suit. And yes the The Expendables 2 sees the return of action stars, from left, bearded internet Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Terry Crews. (Frank Masi/Alliance Films) Categories macho-meme himself, Art & Design (13) Chuck Norris, Books (52) appears so briefly that when his first scene ended the crowd made an Celebrities (5) "awww" sound like someone had stolen their favourite G.I. Joe toy. Featured (1) Now Expendables 2 may be a muddy camo-coloured film filled with more Gaming geysers of blood than a Mortal Kombat marathon. But its worst sin is that Live Performance (21) it's just plain boring. Arnold and Stallone stand there and grimace as Movies (350) hundreds of nameless vaguely Slavic bad guys are blown away like so Music (477) much buckshot. It's as if Stallone and the guys figure the sheer presence Social Media (379) of their iconic faces is all the firepower this movie needs. The reason for Television (239) our attachment to these craggy-faced combatants is that they're survivors from an age from when action movies were actually fun. Compare the original Total Recall, a muscular sci-fi farce, with this Tag Cloud summer's reboot, which is choked with CGI, starving for personality. album CMF CMW comedy death documentary The final showdown between Van Damme and Stallone almost makes up festival film for the two hours of tedium that precedes it. But if you're looking for a film review Glee imaginenative nostalgia fix, I'll direct you to the movie JCVD, a noir-ish bank robbery justin bieber Justin Bieber movie where the Muscles from Brussels plays himself. music nxne oscar toronto trailer In the meantime think of Ex 2 as the ultimate tale of sound and fury signifying nothing. Diehards may protest "it's just for fun." But if anything, video Stallone's real-man reunion proves what's expendable is our affection for those once-famous faces. Archives » RATING: 2 out of 5 2012 (112) August (5) FILM REVIEW: ParaNorman FILM REVIEW: The Expendables 2 Bin Laden, Lincoln films work around U.S. election Is Drake planning an Aaliyah album without her family's blessing? Cultural Olympiad tries to dovetail with sport July (12) June (17) May (15) April (12) March (21) February (12) January (18)
Jean-Claude Van Damme is a new addition to the Expendables family. (Frank Masi/Alliance Films)
Tags: Couture, Crews, Hemsworth, Li, Norris, Schwarzenegger, Statham, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables 2, Van Damme, Willis
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