An Impossibly Breakneck 24-Ish Hours in St. Louis
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An ImpossiblyImpossibly BreakneckBreakneck 24-ish Hours in St. Louis By Matthew Mourning, Randy Vines, & Amy Lampe BUST OUT THE VIOLINS So you’re visiting St. Louis? Let’s get the difficult part out of the way first. Nearly all native St. Louisans feel a compulsion to eulogize the city’s former life, as the 4th largest city in the country, host of the 1904 World’s Fair, and yes, recipient of the nation’s tallest, most beautiful, and most iconic monument, the Gateway Arch. Not that all St. Louisans are statis- ticians or demographers, but somehow we all seem to know our numbers when it comes to our horrific population drop: 857,000 in 1950 at our peak to 319,000 in 2010 (the nation’s steepest decline in that time period, including Detroit! Yikes). Downtown St. Louis, a once proud progenitor of the great metropolis built around it, was mercilessly hacked away by interstates and corporate citi- zens who were all too happy to trade urban character for lifeless plazas, park- ing garages, and stubby post-modern mid-rises. St. Louis should suck. Suck hard. All the signs point to it. There should be Prozac dispensers at each street corner to help us cope with our own defeat. Shockingly, though, St. Louis’s raw cool- ness destroys most of the competition, 1. Requisite example of urban decline. especially its west-of-the-Mississippi peer group. There’s just no other city like it. While St. Louis is described as the "Gateway to the West," visitors to this formidable city by the river will discover an historic entrepot with deep connections to the great cities of the East Coast, from its rich historic architecture to its hard-nosed urban dialect to its extant eth- nic enclaves. St. Louis is, decidedly, America's last eastern city. A city of grand parks, rows upon rows of solid red-brick neighborhoods and top-tier cultural institutions, St. Louis has weathered some storms, but she has not lost her spark. HOTELS, MOTELS, HOLIDAY INNS Where you stay in St. Louis matters less than you think because our illustrious light rail system (MetroLink, born 1993) reliably traverses several visit-worthy core neighborhoods. If you’re a purist and stay only in downtown settings, why not settle on the Westin at Cupples Station, a historic set of ware- houses in the shadow of America’s liveliest ballpark, Busch Stadium? Not only that, it sits atop a Metro- Link station. Alternatively, if you’re more likely to catch a Broadway show than a ballgame, stay at the local boutique Hotel Ignacio, just adjacent to St. Louis University’s campus and to Grand Center, St. Louis’s theater and arts district. If you want to go more upscale and stay in a more vibrant area, opt for the famous Chase Park Plaza in the stunningly elegant Central West End or the Moonrise Hotel in the funky, pulsating Delmar Loop. Finally, if you dare, stay in the haunted Lemp Mansion, a beauti- ful B&B that witnessed some grisly Pro- hibition-era suicides among its namesake beer baron family. It’s on the South Side, nes- tled in one of St. Louis’s storied red brick neighborhoods. Let’s presume you’re staying downtown at the Westin. A couple assumptions are about to take place: (A) You’re in a new place, and you’re excited, so you’re waking up early. (B) You’re out of your home ZIP code, where diets don’t apply. You will eat roughly five times per day. (C) You’re superhuman and know nothing of this “nap” business. (D) You’re standing in a beer brewing shrine of a city, so you will drink 2. The bird (hang-gliding man? hard to tell) can take the adult beverages (E) You’re sane, and there- shortcut to the top of the Arch. YOU get the cramped pod- fore visiting in the warmer months (March elevator. through October). WE DARE YOU TO KEEP THIS SCHEDULE While locals should be harangued for their marriage to vehicular solo transportation, you’re visiting a city with somewhat spread out attractions and are entirely forgiven—rent/bring a car this visit. Before you head out, tune your radio to KDHX, 88.1 on the FM dial. Among the nation's most well-supported com- munity radio stations, KDHX is a clearinghouse of local flavor, from bluegrass to electronica. 8:00 AM - Wake up and get “it” out of the way. We know you’re a hipster and don’t want to be stereo- typical but, c’mon, you’ve never seen the Arch. Seriously, it’s okay…head east from your hotel past Busch Stadium and go up in the Arch. No, that building with the patina-ey dome is not the Missouri Capitol (we wish…). It’s the Old Courthouse, built in phases between 1840 and the Civil War and now a part of what is called the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial (which includes the Arch). The ride to the top of the 630 -foot tall stainless steel mustache (in a trippy 1960s pod that stays level despite its awkward angular as- cent) will set you back $10. Claustrophobes need not apply. 9:00 AM - Hoof it to Local Harvest Café for breakfast in the restored Old Post Office (9th/Locust) downtown. Its food is either locally-sourced, organic, or both—and most importantly, delicious. Make it quick if you want to keep this impossibly breakneck schedule. While outside the Old Post Office, spin around. You’re in the heart of old downtown, with its turn-of-the-century stock of office buildings splayed out on a narrow street grid inspired by the early French set- tlers. 9:30 AM - Next walk to City Museum, at 16th and Lucas. The glorious canyon of warehouses you’re strolling through is Washington Avenue, downtown’s centerpiece of revitalization (seriously, in the late 1990s, nearly all of it was empty and abandoned). Make a right (north) at 16th Street and say hello to City Museum. You might be thinking, “it’s too early for a mu- seum” but this is not the type of museum where you’ll ever hear “shhhh”. It’s literally made of the city—a good chunk of the detritus and demolition debris of the past city gets a new life here. There are manmade caves, crawlspaces, in-line skateboarding facilities, a rooftop Ferris wheel, a fourth floor thrift store and so much more in this whimsical monument to the notion that everything can be reused. Entry to City Mu- seum costs $12, rooftop is an extra $5, and aquarium (yes, aquarium) an extra $6. Don’t sweat the cash— basically everything else even remotely touristy is completely free of charge or near to it. 12:00 PM - You spent a few hours clambering around City Museum and burnt enough calories to be hungry again. Make your way back to the hotel, grab the car, and drive to Blues City Deli in the delightful, red brick Benton Park neighborhood. If you’re lucky, this hom- age to blues towns (New Orleans, Mem- phis, STL, and Chicago) will have some live music for you to munch to. If that’s the case, the party usually spills out onto the streets. 12:30 PM - Since you’re already in Benton Park, hop back in the car and head east to Soulard, St. Louis’s oldest neighborhood. Soulard is home to doz- ens of corner bars and restaurants, near- ly all of them in mid to late 1800s red brick classic buildings. This national and 3. Soulard Streetscape - quintessential red brick St. Louis. local historic district also plays host to a particularly large and raucous Mardi Gras celebration in wintertime, so the fact that its name in French translates to “drunkard” is only fitting. Once in the neighborhood, stop by Soulard Market (9th/Lafayette), the city’s last remaining public market and the oldest one west of the Mississippi. After you’ve loaded up on spices, trinkets, and hurricanes from Julia’s, a stand inside the market, jump back in the car and head south to the looming Anheuser Busch complex at 12th and Lynch. 1:30 PM - – Take the FREE Anheuser-Busch tour, which comes with two complimentary beers for the 21+ crowd. 2:30 PM - Assuming there’s a sober member of the party, find the vehicle and head south to Cherokee Street—the nexus of creativity in the St. Louis region. You might as well park on the east end of the street and just plan on walking back on the op- posite side of the street. East of Jefferson, the building stock is older and the businesses tend towards antiques (this is old An- tique Row, after all). West of Jefferson, the grittier side of Cherokee comes out. This is home to the city’s most thriving Hispanic/Latino business area, interspersed with random hip- sterific offerings. Notable attractions (from east to west include): the Mud House (where your barista will surprise you with latte art); St. Louis Cu- rio Shoppe (an all-STL, all the 4. Cherokee Street, where roadway is canvass. time gift shop—nothing in it is made more than 50 miles from the heart of the city); Fortune Teller Bar (True to its name, fortune tellers descend upon this hipster watering hole on weekend nights); La Vallesana (awesome and authentic taco stand); and Firecracker Press (old-fashioned printing press retail shop with some killer designs). No trip to Cherokee Street—or St.