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By BILLY ST. JOHN © Copyright 1999, by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc

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By BILLY ST. JOHN © Copyright 1999, by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc By BILLY ST. JOHN © Copyright 1999, by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. PERFORMANCE LICENSE The amateur acting rights to this play are controlled exclusively by PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC., P.O. Box 4267, Englewood, Colorado 80155, without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind may be given. On all programs and advertising this notice must appear: “Produced by special arrangement with PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC., Englewood, Colorado.” COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. All other rights in this play, including those of professional production, radio broadcasting and motion picture rights, are controlled by PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE, INC., to whom all inquiries should be addressed. SOMEONE SAVE MY BABY, RUTH! Or... Foil That Villain! A Sweet Melodrama by BILLY ST. JOHN CAST OF CHARACTERS TAFFY .......................................a sales clerk at The Sweet Shoppe TOFFEE .....................................another sales clerk HUBERT....................................a customer TOM .........................................another customer MRS. MURPHY ..........................yet another customer MINNIE .....................................her child PRALINE CANDY ........................owner of The Sweet Shoppe SIDNEY SWINDLE ......................a villain FARRON HEIT ............................a candy cook CINDY GRADE ...........................another candy cook PENNY CANDY ..........................a sweet young widow and our heroine. She carries around her infant, Baby Ruth, a real doll (and played by one!) ADA SOURBALL .........................a villainess ERNEST NOBLE .........................a policeman, our hero EXTRAS ....................................if desired SYNOPSIS OF SCENES TIME: The late 1800s. PLACE: A Boston candy store called The Sweet Shoppe and a park nearby. Scene One: The Sweet Shoppe. A summer afternoon. Scene Two: The park. About sunset. Scene Three: The Sweet Shoppe. The following morning. Scene Four: The park. About sunset. Scene Five: The Sweet Shoppe. Immediately following. For previewii only SOMEONE SAVE MY BABY, RUTH! Or... Foil That Villain! Scene One The Sweet Shoppe. A summer afternoon. The setting is The Sweet Shoppe, a store filled with delicious confections. The front door, which has a window in its upper half, is STAGE RIGHT beside a large window that faces a street; a backdrop beyond depicts store fronts from the late 1800s. The UPSTAGE CENTER wall contains shelves on which sit baskets of various candies; each candy is individually wrapped in foil or plastic or paper. A counter is STAGE LEFT on which are more baskets of candy, paper bags, pencils and an old- fashioned cash register. A swinging door to the kitchen is behind the counter on the STAGE LEFT wall; a light switch is beside it. Steps lead down into the audience. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC of the period is played before the show and FADES OUT as the CURTAIN RISES. AT RISE: TOFFEE and TAFFY, two young sales clerks wearing aprons over long dresses of the period, are busy waiting on customers HUBERT and TOM. The two young men wear white pants, pastel shirts and straw boater hats as they flirt with TOFFEE and TAFFY. At the counter are MRS. MURPHY and her ten-year-old daughter, MINNIE. (NOTE: MINNIE can be played by an adult.) SIDNEY SWINDLE, our villain, stands at the shelves UPSTAGE; he will keep his back to the audience until indicated. EXTRAS can be used, standing together chatting and holding their paper bags of candy. As they talk to the boys, TOFFEE and TAFFY take candy from the various baskets and drop them into small brown paper grocery sacks, then write the number of candies inside on the bag with pencils. ALL ad-lib about the selections a couple of beats. MRS. MURPHY: I’m ready to pay for my purchases now. TAFFY: (Calls out.) Miss Praline! PRALINE’S VOICE: (OFFSTAGE LEFT.) Coming! PRALINE: (ENTERS STAGE LEFT. She is a cheerful woman in her forties or older.) I’m sorry, Mrs. Murphy. I was going over a new recipe for bon-bons with my cooks, Farron Heit and Cindy Grade. MRS. MURPHY: That’s quite all right, Praline. MINNIE: Bon-bons? Yum! PRALINE: I’ll give you a sample the next time you come in, Minnie, dear. They’re delicious, if I do say so myself. MRS. MURPHY: I have no doubt they are. All of your confections are For preview1 only heavenly. I adore your candies... (She hands her the sack.) as you can see. PRALINE: (Reads the number on the bag.) Twenty-five pieces. That will be 25 cents. MRS. MURPHY: (Takes a quarter from her reticule.) A penny apiece. Even though your prices are higher than your competitors’, it’s worth it. MINNIE: I hope you stay here forever and ever! PRALINE: I certainly plan to. Business couldn’t be better. MRS. MURPHY: Obviously. It looks as if you could use more help. PRALINE: Funny you should mention that. As a matter of fact, my late husband’s niece, Penny Candy, is due to arrive from Hershey, Pennsylvania, with her baby, Ruth, any minute now. She’s going to assist in the shop. MINNIE: Mama, can we stay so I can play with Ruth? PRALINE: I’m afraid the sweet little thing is too young to be a playmate for you just yet, Minnie. Baby Ruth is an infant. MINNIE: Oh, I thought she was a girl. MRS. MURPHY: She is, dear. An infant is a baby. (To PRALINE.) And your niece’s husband? PRALINE: Alas, he’s gone. Reese was a sailor and was lost at sea. MRS. MURPHY: How tragic! By the way, I’d also like five cents’ worth of saltwater taffy. PRALINE: I have some right here. (She takes five pieces of candy from a basket on the counter and adds them to the sack.) MRS. MURPHY: You were saying about your nephew? PRALINE: The boiler on the poor lad’s ship exploded, and the vessel sank beneath the waves. They never even recovered Reese’s pieces. MRS. MURPHY: What a sad story! PRALINE: Yes. This brings the total to 30 cents. (MRS. MURPHY gives her a nickel from her reticule. PRALINE rings up the purchase on the cash register and puts in the coins.) MRS. MURPHY: My goodness, I had better leave before I spend my entire household allowance on sweets! Come, Minnie. For preview2 only M INNIE: Yes, Mama. Bye-bye, Miss Praline. PRALINE: Good-bye, dear. (MRS. MURPHY and MINNIE cross to STAGE RIGHT and EXIT. If EXTRAS are used, they also will EXIT, chatting quietly.) Taffy, Toffee, I’ll be in the kitchen. Call me when the customers are ready to complete their purchases. TAFFY/TOFFEE: Yes, Miss Praline. (PRALINE EXITS STAGE LEFT. SIDNEY turns forward. He is a typical villain, greedy and cruel. He wears a suit of the period, spats, perhaps a bowler hat, and has a moustache that curls up on the ends. VILLAINOUS MUSIC COMES IN. SIDNEY glances at TOFFEE, TAFFY, TOM and HUBERT, who are in their own little world giggling and flirting. They continue to do so quietly in the background.) SIDNEY: (Turns back to face the audience, then crosses to DOWNSTAGE to talk to them in an aside.) Sidney Swindle, here—I’m the villain of this piece. (He gives a villainous laugh. The MUSIC STOPS.) I just thought I’d get that out of the way. So Mrs. Candy’s niece, Penny, and her baby are going to be moving in? Too bad. You see, I’ve tried to persuade the old biddy to sell me The Sweet Shoppe, but so far she has turned me down. I’m prepared to make one final offer. If she refuses, then she will have to meet with a tragic accident so that I can buy the property at public auction. In order for that to happen, she must leave no heirs, which means if she goes, then the niece and her little brat must go as well! (He gives another laugh.) I guess you want to know why I’m so desperate to take possession of the old woman’s business here, huh? Well, I could just tell you, but I’ll go find the villainess, my partner in crime, Ada Sourball, and we’ll cover it in the dialogue, okay? We’ll be right back. Don’t go away, you hear? (He crosses to the door STAGE RIGHT and EXITS.) TOFFEE: (To HUBERT.) Miss Praline’s fudge is delicious. I can’t decide what else to get. TAFFY: (To TOM.) My favorite is her peanut brittle. HUBERT: You know what Tom and I would really like? Some kisses. TOFFEE: (Touches a basket.) They’re right here. TOM: That’s not the kind we mean. (TOFFEE and TAFFY giggle.) TAFFY: You’re just awful, Tom! Aren’t Tom and Hubert just awful, Toffee? TOFFEE: Yes, they are, Taffy! (She whispers.) They’re awful cute. (The GIRLS giggle.) HUBERT: What do you say, girls? How about a little sample? (He and TOM pucker their lips and make kissing noises.) For preview3 only TAFFY: Now, stop it! TOFFEE: Do you want to get us fired? TOM: Aw, Miss Praline would never fire you. She’s too tender-hearted. HUBERT: Yeah, she’s as soft in the center as a chocolate-covered caramel. TOFFEE: (To HUBERT.) Well, you’re that soft in the head if you think I’m going to kiss you in public. HUBERT: Then let’s go someplace private. Can I meet you when the store closes and walk you home... maybe through the park... about sunset? TOFFEE: Well... TOM: That sounds like a good idea. What about you, Taffy? Can I walk you home, too? TAFFY: Well... HUBERT: (To BOTH GIRLS.) You won’t be sorry. (He and TOM make the kissing noises. The GIRLS squeal.) TOFFEE: All right, we’ll go! Just stop it! TAFFY: Yes, stop it! You look like a pair of guppies! (The BOYS laugh.) TOM: We’ll be back about five-thirty.
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