CEU eTD Collection Second reader: Professor Gyorgy Szony Supervisor: Professor Matthias Riedl Conversions to Christianity and the meaning ofsuffering – the cases of In partial fulfillment of the requirement for the degree of degree forthe requirement of the fulfillment In partial Simone Weil and Nicolae Steinhardt Nicolae and Weil Simone Submitted to Central European University European toCentral Submitted Budapest ,Hungary History Department Master of Arts Master Darie Dragoi 2010 By CEU eTD Collection and Steinhardt themystic experience interferes witha new vision on culture exposed inavery andelementary simple Nevertheless,cases language. of inthe Weil factbeing this Christ, with union experiencing on centered to be appear mysticism intellectualized one.Thelarge majorityEuropean of accountsofChristian their stories of conversions and their special andparticular mysticism, amuch- The necessity of this inquiry becomes visible whenitistaken intoconsideration relation with them, thewill ontwocomparativefocus theprocesses aspects: oftheir conversions and in way they envisage theto Christianity, later orthodox problemhermit and father confessor. The content of the thesis of suffering regime,convertedwriter, inprison imprisoned Jewish, and bythecommunist also as Christians. of anoriginal way of ThesecondwasaRomanianthinking theology andphilosophy. first was a French philosopher, Jewishbyorigin, converted toChristianity, author history of twentieth century in Europe, Simone Weil and NicolaeAbstract Steinhardt. The This reconstructsthesis the intellectual oftwo keybiographies figures inthe ii CEU eTD Collection ilorpy...... 75 Bibliography ...... 70 5. Conclusion 4. Two converts facing the new Christian existential converts4. Two facing new the condition existential – acomparative Christian approach 3. Communist ...26 prison for Nicolae Steinhardt: Academia andspiritual metamorphosis 2. Simone Weil and the unusual need for ...... 12 suffering 1. Introduction...... 4 contents of Table ...... 43 history...... 63 4.3. The place of Simone Weil and Nicolae Steinhardt in the 20 4.2. Two ways of suffering in Christ...... 58 4.1. Two religious attitudes. Refusal and acceptance of the Church as institution...... 43 3.2. Suffering reflected in European culture...... 35 3.1. From agnosticism to “happiness diary”...... 26 2.2. Suffering and affliction...... 21 2 .1. Testimony of a spiritual ...... 12 evolution iii th century century intellectual CEU eTD Collection metaphorical concept which refers to “pursuit of goodness.” “pursuitof to which refers metaphorical concept complex. and vast 1 concepts the form, written in thought human of history the say is to that history, intellectual of field the In thesis. this in separately willbethat anaspect treated culture, on a newvision interferes with mystic experience in Weil casesof language.the and Steinhardtsimple the Nevertheless, andelementary in a very factbeingexposed this Christ, with union beexperiencing on centered appear to mysticism of Christian accounts European majority of large The intellectualized one. their stories andconversions of theirspecial andmysticism, particular amuch- them, the way they envisage the problem of suffering as Christians. inwith relation and conversions oftheir theprocesses comparative aspects: focus ontwo will thesis the of content The confessor. father and hermit orthodox later Christianity, to in prison converted and regime, communist the by imprisoned Jewish, also original way of thinkingand philosophy. theology The second wasaRomanian writer, of converted toChristianity,an author by Jewish first was aFrenchphilosopher, origin, history of the twentieth century in Europe, Simone Weil and Nicolae Steinhardt.1. Introduction The Karl Morrison, First, the history First, history the of conversion religious be considered can as a a history of The necessity of this inquiry becomes visible when it is taken intois it consideration taken visible becomes when inquiry The necessity of this This thesis intellectual the reconstructs biographies of keyfigurestwo inthe Understanding conversion (London: University Press of 1992),Virginia, 3 4 conversion and 1 There is a huge amount of suffering areindeedquite CEU eTD Collection 6 5 4 1994) 3 France,1840-1970 2 facts. exposure interferedof historical the exact the with suffering, on centered journal of Nicolae Steinhardt cultural the of offersanoverview paradigmsEuropean suffering, monographic work on culture of focusedsuffering, female mostly on of mysticism is to say France and Romania. history Inof similar autobiographical on theme.this accounts the French case,Christianity, personal conversion,considerations about which can beinscribed in the Richard BurtonGod. In plus, both of themwrote wrote, mostly after thea eventscomplete onpersonala autobiographical of of discourse cultural quest conversions sign the under that caused their conversion to writers, whichplacedtheir of two the background intellectual the to mainly ones due cases indeed will and on be two hereare the subject, that special literature this analyzed of Ioan Ianolide, of Ioan Here can and benameda very way endured. privations only tortures works the realist whichthose have beenimprisoned during the All communist period. of in them describe Hungarian MiklosVeto. philosophical researcher most representativeChristian philosophy, her original Among theorization maybeof suffering. them, the Weil biographical consecrated to herthe unique this works of component emphasize and complete work on her thought is the monograph of the Dumitru Bacu, Dumitru Bordeianu, Dumitru Ioan Ioanolide, Ioan Miklos Veto, Miklos Richard D. E. Burton, Secondly, the theme of suffering had a long cultural history in both countries, that In the Romanian case, there exists a large amount of journals and testimonies of 2 in which Simone Weil occupied a special place. However, the big majority of majority big the However, place. special a occupied Weil Simone which in The Religious Metaphysics of Simone Weil ReturntoChrist Pitesti (London: Cornell University Press, 2004 ) 4 of Dumitru Bordeianu Testimonies from the swamp ofdespair experiment Holy Tears ,Holy Blood -Women, Catholicism, and the Culture of suffering in (Bucharest: Christiana, 2006) (Bucharest :Christiana 2000) 5 or of Dumitru Bacu. 5 (Abany: State University of New York Press, 3 (Bucharest: Scara 2005) 6 Theautobiographical CEU eTD Collection thesis is to show in is thesis changedintellectual to background the direction after her its way what the aim of Weil’s one to case, respect In suffering. her of own acceptance andthe others contemplation of the beauty of this world with the compassion for the suffering of the 9 8 7 essay suffering, the coherent about and systematical very a redemptive value of suffering “, concept of thoughtthe of Weil andSteinhardt. will part focus Inasabasic onsuffering thesis,separate the works. a autobiographical in their andtheorized been exposed have experiences life. These intellectual incentrality prison onchangeshis the communist sufferingendured ulterior the of of case Weilof in suffering needfor Simone and a pronounced casethe of Steinhardt the in will thesis. bedeveloped the an that aspect howproblem totalitarian tothe responds shouldin of aChristian tyranny, theproblem of a solution onsuffering of also theoretical the approach Steinhardt provides Nevertheless, “every time when I see the cross of our Lord, I commit the sin of envy “. religious affirmed, she example, rooted For deeply very a component. to conversion, the after her mostly However, led preference unusual had suffering for always any of type earthly pleasure. Her entire life she regrettedhad on herself imposed out of solidarity with peoplethe struckby famine andpoverty. that she wasshe that food-privations the of because heroccurred even death is likely not that It her death. born into a poor family and she avoided Idem, “Love of God and affliction”, in Weil, Simone Weil, Gray, Plessis du Francine In Weil’s case, her notable and specific feature was “her growing interest inthe was“hergrowingher interest feature In Weil’s and specific notable case, Analyzing biographies the exceptional it twowriters, the of can benoticed in the Waiting for God Simone Weil (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),7. 7 which has manifested increasingly until the moment of moment the until increasingly manifested has which (New York: Viking Penguin Books ,2001) , 23. Waiting for God for Waiting 6 , 70. 9 in which she identified the identified which she in 8 She wrote also CEU eTD Collection University Press, 1996), 256 10 chastity. way in vote of the say,legitimate soto a assuming, period prison the after a monk hebecame as more simple is case Steinhardt’s pleasure. earthly the entirely rejecting but monastery, the in life the embracing without chastity desire.” the company of workers andWeil is a in caseunique sense.this She totally affirmingdenied herfemininity, always preferring Simone her conversion. the after and repulsionbefore sex, opposite the with relation any of rejection to the idea of being an “objectassumed of it inChristianity finally importantly,and, yet with both confronted a lifeof suffering and a specific gifted with an unusual way. of culture,assimilationpower both were both of converted to One the have two writers However, a lot in common: intellectuals both were Jewish, special aspectWeil. as suffering the regarding sameconclusion the to arrives essentially he etc, science of their personality art, from of literature, quoting works a religioushe alot fact the isnot theorist, that was art,andmusic.Despite literature, majorparadigms, cultural specific way approaching of also their him on edge the of indespair and prison broader arrives to conclusions involvinga placed facts that certain in about he Hewrites prison. endured the that with real privations interconnection in aconstant suffering hedescribed happiness “The diary”, major work year first of seclusion) changed radicallyhisthoughtand his existential In orientation. of yearsfour in(1960-1964) whichhe spent prison theChristian baptism(and the during Nicolae is,Steinhardt at first glance, a very different historical case. The period experienced by whole the humanity the twoworldduring wars. conversion mannerinand she what gave her sense individual to and universal suffering - 11 Simone Weil, Jo Ann Kay Mc Namarra, 10 She is part of She is part of category that “virileof women” Waiting for God Sisters in Arms –Catholic Nuns through two millennia (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),15 7 11 who assumed the vote of (Cambridge: Harvard CEU eTD Collection 14 University Press, 1996), 11 13 12 rapture”. of of ecstasy, astate experience, “inner about Weil,to spoke contemporary This term in itself has received many nuances in Georgeliterature. Bataille, mysticism. Christian contemporary of point in cases important are conversions distinct somewhat Their ideology. Christian century mystic.is notonly This language,a question of buttouches nuances of also the 20 as a than rather herhersaw asaphilosopher personality dedicated to works monographic of majority the hence, – philosophical very and impersonal, monotonous is even andlanguagein is case the heterogeneous the very personal, of Weil‘s Steinhardt ardent, In on. so and formation intellectual their culture, envisaged they way the writing, of style mystical experiences in general and specifically in France and Romania. There are many Thereare Romania. in Franceand specifically and in general mystical experiences and conversions of history in the contextualized be will processes both conversion, onJudaism,discourse Christianity and historical suffering. Referring alsototheir of other’s each andthe assessment biographies of comparison history, intellectual of in cases of terms their relevance historical the and information will lay contextual the on ofWeilwillexperiences“ be emphasisand Steinhardtthe accomplished aswell, though the momentwhere the word approaches us, the word of the I.” reality.” ultimate of experience Martin Buber, Denise LardnerCarmody and John Tully Carmody, George Bataille, George Nevertheless, at the same time the two writers differ by many aspects: their aspects: many by differ writers two the time same the at Nevertheless, The phenomenon of conversion is generally considered as a mystical experience. mystical asa considered is generally conversion of The phenomenon The exposure and development of the main characteristics of the “mystical 12 Denise and John Carmody considered mystical as experience Denise andJohnCarmody “direct the considered Ecstatic confessions Inner experience (New York: State University of New York Press, 1988) , 3 (San Francisco: Harper &Row Publishers, 1985), 45 13 Or Martin Buber considered the “ecstatic confession as confession “ecstatic the considered Buber Or Martin 8 Mysticism –Holiness East and West 14 (Oxford: Oxford (Oxford: th CEU eTD Collection 19 (New York:… 2005), 34 18 17 Hippo 16 in asweetness me …and me embrace …silence , surrenders me,defeats happiness that characterized “Happiness“ isonly of conversion the concept after by the soul “ this : of state the life. the In predominant , the ledshe acelibate Steinhardt case of addition, in – absent completely is component erotic the that mysticism is Weil’s of difference “. mysoul took and heart my in fallen has …Christ me knee spiritual marriage are very in present Frenchthe case: “something stronger methan made 15 given However, the of considerations William James Rambo historical studies on the process of conversion, as for example the works of Lewis mysticism, from 12 from mysticism, female the of characteristic main is the love of mysticism The in Steinhardt. than in Weil evident and pronounced more was love of mysticism the that significance without manners in Weilwhich and Steinhardtperceived their spiritual Itistransformation. not be here. accomplished cannot which caused their conversion, facts, bymemory. beimperfectly iswhy reproduced of andprecise This an exact exposure only can and time in limited are experiences mystical transient: as known phenomenon of category that of part are Steinhardt Weil and of experiences mysticalspiritual Simone Weil, A.D.Nock, Lewis Rambo, Cf Cf. . Matthias Riedl, Matthias . William James, (London: Oxford University Press,1972) 15 The comparative approach used in this thesis focuses also on different focusesthe alsoon thesis inthis used approach The comparative orA. D. Nock. Conversion- TheOld and theNew in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of Waiting for God Understanding religious conversion Christian Mysticism The varieties of religious experience th century today. century until 16 (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),46 in Marianne Horowith, 18 9 Contemplation and union with Christ as a as Christ with union and Contemplation (London, Yale University Press, 1993) (New York: Touchstone books, 2004), 55 New Dictionary of the history of ideas 17 19 , it can be said that the Nevertheless, the main CEU eTD Collection 1992), 56 Christianit. solution Nevertheless,to language their and their philosophy a provide is the gave of view cultural from point problem similarthe the sense suffering to with of they way the that is response suitable most The special? them make condition Christian new the assumed they that manner the and conversions their way what In intellectuals? writings? their have assumed gave solution the problem to of suffering justify did andhow they itin also of a cultural metamorphosis in the two cases? In what way the Christianity that they approaching theirnew Christian existential condition? Can we talk only mysticismof or are they How experience? mystical of type this of history general inthe them situates conversion on account autobiographical their way what In differed? they do in which and suffering sensesimilarsome questions:considerations about key weretheir Inwhich historical willbepersonalities several of contextualization twobroader the works used. the proper a for addition, In friends. his by written Steinhardt on testimonies and Weil biographies Simone of the numerous comprise others among sources The secondary WeilandSteinhardt. of andworks political accounts autobiographical theology. Christian active nevertheless and acontextualized of light the in conversion the to subsequent reformulation conceptual their analyze to interesting is it time, their of figures intellectual important dulceata .In gura, in vine, in muschi” in Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae in in muschi” vine, in gura, .In dulceata 20 my mouth in my mind, in my body , in my muscles “. “Alminteri fericirea aceasta care ma impresoara , ma cuprinde ma imbraca , ma invinge…liniste…si o ma invinge…liniste…si , imbraca ma cuprinde ,ma ma impresoara care aceasta fericirea “Alminteri Regarding the problem of suffering, may one ask: why speaking about by be established will therefore sources the body of to approach The theoretical arethe primary sources The sources. variety textual of on a This draws thesis 10 Jurnalul fericirii Jurnalul 20 Considering the fact that both are both that fact the Considering (Cluj Napoca: Editura Dacia, CEU eTD Collection in the 20 in the aspects of the themes enounced above together with a contextualization of the two figures contain a comparison will chapter Simone third Weil.The about his considerations of alsosome being added attempt and will expose pattern, structural willmainly thesame Steinhardt, follow to dedicated The second part, and emphasize the suffering. of theme theory on the specific the for and suffering) need similaralmost pathological and different subchapters herbiographical component and conversion the her emphasis on (with an manifestations. religious of history asthe well as history intellectual the of perspective manifestations and morphologies. Therefore, a comparison may religious of prove view of relevant point from the from the communalities share trajectories their differences, all the utterly distinct cultural and political contexts in which they lived. However, in spite of until at this moment of history. cultural tobuild in paradigms order acultural view of very suffering original singular and big meltEuropean the they and way of the assimilation are the make special What them Christianity. common the of that to similar although unique, totally attitude theoretical The first part of the thesis will be committed to Simone Weil, having as having Simone Weil, to becommitted will thesis of the part The first far-fetched given mayseem personalities two of juxtaposition the the However, th century intellectual history. 11 CEU eTD Collection 22 21 students tothink critically by assigning them Alain her. name Augustetaught Chartier By his his (1868-1951), trained Emile real (1924-25), Alain Frenchphilosopher and noted at where the Lycée(1925-28), IV Henri andher Duruy,science during attheLycée Lycée studies Victor Fénelon (1920-24) Paris accused her of being a Communist, she answered: "Not at all; I am a Bolshevik." a classmate Russian Revolution the When after andteacher. mathematician prestigious later a herbrother, André, in Greek with communicate Sheusedto ancientlanguages. in war. soldiers the food. At the age of six she refusedmotivating that she dislikedluxury. to eat sugar, becausesolidarity,for example refusing when she was yearsthree old aring given by a relative, it was not rationed to family. of Jewish gestures her agnostic French precocious manifested Since Simone childhood, evolution ofaspiritual Testimony 2 .1. 2. Simone Weil and theunusual need forsuffering Francine du Plessix Gray, Plessix du Francine Simone Petrement, She assimilated as her everyday mental fare the highest products of and of art products highest fare the mental her everyday as She assimilated modern mastered Greekand several Weilhadalready In her early teens, Simone Weil was born on February 3, 1909 in Paris. She was raised in an SimoneWeil- a life Simone Weil (New York: State University of New York Press, 2000), 14 ( New York: Penguin Books, 2001), 24 21 She also displayed the same behavior regarding behavior same the displayed also She 12 topoi , take-home essay examinations. 22 CEU eTD Collection 24 kneel. to her made she than stronger something that confessed she and Franciscs Saint of chapel in a entered She life. her in time first the for pray to her led which Assissi in experience Republicans in SpanishCivilWar.the In springthe of mystical had1937 she afirst in - asshe her diary. confessed hands feeble small, abnormally had she - level physical and emotional her on her crushed 23 inept" forced toresign from Le Puy-en-Velay school.high In 1934-35 she was a"hopelessly was shared byher with unemployed.the inmarch, After participating aprotest she was Her salary incafés. them with sat and colleagues herteachers of one the to of workers solidarity with and workers the social the poor milieus,French she preferred company the her to Due Saint-Quentin. and Bourges, Roanne, Auxerre, Puy, Le in schools various at she taught 1938, years and the 1931 Between theworkers. needsof real the understand stints of teaching philosophy manual with labor in factories and fields, in to order alternated …She geometry Euclidian or poetry Homeric itwas models, whether ancient great the to herself relating , always culture her broaden to shecontinued , literature languagemathematics and andGreek philosophy teach , beginningAfter to philosophy. her she received In1931, of herENS. by teachers of one "Red virgin" she herradical called the muchwas opinions- attention with years attracted these Weil During finished second. her classmate, Beauvoir, de Simone Supérieure; Normale École Weil, Petrement, Waiting for God, 23 In spite of her pacifist beliefs, she briefly served in 1936 as a volunteer for the In 1928, Weil succeeded with the highest mark at the entrance examination formark the examination In 1928,Weil highestthe with atthe entrance succeeded 24 factory worker for Renault, Alsthom, and Carnaud. This hardnearly Carnaud.factory for period Renault, This worker Alsthom, and This event was in fact the first step of her conversion to Christianity. Later, she Simone Weil – a life 47 , 78 13 agrégation in CEU eTD Collection 25 be will that point a for suffering, been byastrange preference hadChristianity preceded mystical experiences (asAugust 24,1943. did Pascalgetting in France. She died at the forage of 34 of tuberculosis and self-neglectin Ashford on example).were themselves French the rations meager the than more eat not would she finally, But in her of life; the efforts she hadbeen makinghelp otherpeople to aggravatedher only illness; case the conversion way –ascetic byher for undermined quasi health, her already disastrous conditions, was to in under wartime winter, tripthe dead of the backFrance But byanymeans. go into sailed for England where she entered the Gaullist organization –with the determination to back goshe partin again to However, struggle.the wasdetermined and take She soon by imposed Germans,the sheaccompaniedfamilyher in Unitedthe to States 1942. faith. Catholic into the her his tobaptize refused offer she end in the but discussions, long had she whom with Perrin, Joseph-Marie Father met she In Marseilles editor. posthumous herfirst Thibon, wouldbecome who papers to andnotebooks other her she leaving France, gave Before d'Ardéche. in Saint-Marcel writeVichy, at andGustave continuedworked Marseilles.She and Thibon's to vineyards she Autobiography .”However, intotheCatholic refused baptism Church. “. being her into entering of “theChrist Passion services the feltduring she recalled, she later There, France. partof Eastern in the monastery aBenedictine Solesmes, mother aweekat herwith spent Weil, Specific about Simone Weil is that she was one of the few philosophers who had who few the philosophers she one of is was Weil that Simone about Specific After she was dismissed from the university post because of the racistDuring the firstlaws years of World War II, Simone lived with her parents in Paris, Waiting for God, 28 25 Weil related her mystical experiences in the text “A spiritual text in the experiences mystical her related Weil 14 CEU eTD Collection 28 27 26 “ God as a “slaveof state her of as therevelation of this sea.littlethe in described shore the She evening villageon a procession religious mentioned moments three she of “spiritual autobiography”, her conversion. centered also on the divine suffering , more precisely on the Passion of Christ . In her Sometimes, also, during this recitation or at other moments , Christ is present with me in me with is present ,Christ moments other at or recitation this during also, Sometimes, sensation, positive of a sound. of the is object the that which butthan more positive point of view. Then, there is asilence, but a silence which is not the absence of the sound nor is neither perspective wherethere a placein space it outside to my body transport and herin autobiographythe as follows: “At times the very first words tear my from thoughts prayer learn by heartthe herboth they she that to proposed her students, of Greekone when shewasteaching onceandforall“.being her intoChrist of entered passion “the that felt she regularly, attended she that services during when, the of Solesmes, abbey at the shespent that during period the religious preeminently “the religion of slaves .”The secondmoment, thedecisive one, happened into Christ‘s presence“. Christ‘s into whose poem , entitled , Herbert George century, oftheseventeenth poet ametaphysical belonged to literature Englishman who will introduce her to some literature that would transfigure her life. That Weil, Weil, Weil, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, The first was her related Portugalto trip to and ithappened while watching an During the recitation of sheof recitation prayer,by experiencedDuring effects the the the weredescribed After few recitations, she basically felt, asshelaterclaimed that“sheisbrought shebasically fewAfter recitations, 68 67 46 Love , 28 Our Father, The third and the last moment of her conversion happened conversion her of moment last the and third The 27 During this period, shemade acquaintance with a young would influence her in a decisive way. in the original text from the Gospel. 15 26 realizing that Christianity is Christianity that realizing CEU eTD Collection 29 of pattern turningusual faith from because away of skepticism or a well-established can be stated that she belongs to a special groupelementary care for food and sleep, including sexual contact.of converts. Theyshe would noticing concludeafter of herrejection immediate pleasurelife,all even of generally follow a voyage to England and would life until herthe her will stay with all mother especially her care.Her all to accord their witness to all her eccentricities: the however, wouldfriends, who despite receiving only herparents when of affliction “She‘s unmarriageable“,addition, she will leton, until end the of herlife, wouldsleepin she bed not anymore buton floor.the In the window now From unemployed. local the openwith said, she solidarity, of evenout life, ascetic incredibly in the depths of winter, heating her room example, the political essay, with be auraasfor thisimpregnated a religious would after strongly would period write she what plus, In etc. of Dead Book Tibetan Gita, Bhagavad the Gospels, the attentively following apattern of studies that was totally devoid of any political dimension. She read of her studies from comparativechanged,now onbeing to orientated began religion. She main the for first the time, however, direction Solesmes, After personality. her levels of occasion when he took possession of me.” person, but his presence is infinitely more real, more moving, more clear than on that first Weil, Waiting for God When trying to place Weil’sin Christianity,When it trying place theof conversions history caseto to on different be analyzed could of her conversion say, effects the to Needless Second, her way of living would be transformed. She would proceed to an to proceed Shewould betransformed. would living of herway Second, , 69 The needforroots 29 16 . CEU eTD Collection 33 32 31 Hippo the by accompanied sin, of imperfection, moral of unwholeness, of “feeling the also is “ is right new the and wrong was old “the that conscience the posses which conversion of processes many of characteristic another One evolution. intellectual person’s a of 30 another“, to piety, of form an earlier from or indifference from individual an of soul the of turning didattitude not depend upon solutionthe of problemthe God.” of such withadoptand bestto theproblems attitude an the of was to that regard world, this to me useless to solve this problem, for seemedleavenor denieditI neither anything.possible It affirmedI alone. So evil,wasto thought that, being in this world, our me beingreach whichnotbusinessway solution, seemedto a wrong thegreatest sureto of problem be dataof the notwhich obtainedcould herebelow, only andthe Idecidedthat sought I life forin my moment any at never that say may “I way: following God. inthe attitude this As soon as ideas likerejected prayingany God, Sheexplained or knowing spiritual preoccupation. I reached adolescence,Christianity. I saw the problem of Catholic the general the truths accepted nevertheless she various, are quite doctrine of catholic official the from God“deviations” her Although one. acommon from piety as a indifference. Nock, Nock, Weil, A.D.Nock, (London: Oxford University Press, 1972), 230 Conversion, Waiting for God, Conversion, If it the general definition of conversion were to be accepted as “the deliberate she adolescence her since that writings autobiographical her in claimed She 32 then Weil be seems the conversion marksone casein to which aturning point Conversion-The Old and the New in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of 30 Their type opposite is of whothose are turning an to unfamiliar form of 25 24 23 17 31 33 CEU eTD Collection 36 Hippo , 35 34 from been“,“deliverance and stupid what had unworthy a was Christianity For second, the thought. Pythagorean or for Platonic,Stoic, preference one came to Christianity while following thecases at of Justin Martyr,the Arnobius, and Augustine.Saint Thefirst the end of a disappointed intellectual search of afterOur Father in language. Greek an initial recitation the with to she content was subject, this on hertestimonies only consideration into if we take one,a very strange might be considered herprayer of ritual own shethat hadbegan prayed before. never participate She in to services butof Church, the claimed life, asshe in herindeed first the form piety, anew of with herself acquainted Christian Baptism.“symptoms” shethat Concerning felt the the conversion,she after the receive to enough good not was she that fact the on and sinfulness, her of idea the on sheinsisted beas possible, asimpersonal to she tries always fact that the despite letters, after. In majority is her the of hasbeenaccentuated before but theconversion, also of unity”. peace the yearn after and her account of mindthe madehim and baptized. Like Augustine,Weil had the revelation of Christ, aboutillumination an him to brought read he that text first The Testament. New the from her read vision is hearing –the of avoice whichadvisedhimto began asupernatural event conversion with very audacious, as she anddiscoveringmeant rejection of good the of evil. claimed that during the Nock, Nock, A. D. , William James, William Oxford University Press,London, 1972,p. 233 Conversion, Simone Weil can alsobe associated to a typology established by A D Nock In the case of Saint Augustine, and here Simone Weil can be integrated also ,the be integrated can Weil andhereSimone Augustine, In the case of Saint Conversion-The Old and the New in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of The varieties of religious experiences 245 34 In the case of Weil, this feeling has also been present been has also feeling this Weil, of case Inthe 18 (New York: Touchstone books, 2004),150 36 that is to say his conversion 35 CEU eTD Collection 37 exposed. Sacrament with Christ as experiences of erotic union this have experienced love,Lisieux, of Martin Therese Avila, or of example Therese even for the former as sexual impulsesmystics, asfor in her Other was presentwith Christperson. of Our Father, recitation for the Albigenses for instance. All those things resulting from Renaissance, too often degraded often from too Renaissance, resulting things All instance.forthose Albigenses history of these countries, all the traditions bannedcountries inhabited by races;colored asall secular lifein whitethe peoples’ countries;heretical, in the those of Manicheans and All the them. among are last twenty, the except centuries, past of stretches immense so many thingsfact. Somany things are outside it,many so things that Ilove and donotwant togive up, that God is by my by wasvery by Simone not catholic “In right attached Christianity them: eyes loves, otherwisemany cultural non These indeed, but paradigms. adhesion religious to –Christian were Christian baptism.they Sheclaimed that receiving baptism would meanfor her the abandon of would receiveher the to Father urged Perrin, which to letters in way, afew sophisticate not be in existence. problem baptism,of Weil hermotivated be refuse to baptized in a very complex and way baptism,of but only by an existential a indeed andAll cultural turning. Concerning the the say, theadhesion principalisinstitution, to that common Christian by Church, the the immediate by followed the not was Christianity to Weil of conversion caused the elliptic story which only retains objective facts refusing be to affectively init.engaged Andrei Kuraev, Andrei In addition, what differs from the case of Augustine, is that the revelation which revelation the is Augustine,that of case from the differs what In addition, The provocations of ecumenism 37 ButSimonea very reducesher experiences to ambiguous and (Bucharest: Sofia,2001), 67 19 CEU eTD Collection University of New York Press, 2003), 56 40 39 38 for suffering. This aspect will that be developed inthe following subchapter. for self-annihilation- vocation “her of component the wisest but the onlycomplexity of her psychological needs, virtual membershipChurch seemed for her notoption available. However, this attitudethink about God. It is forwhich God to think about me “. was in realityis business myself. think ithaveshould anxiety? mybusiness not My to about any It I to a will come toand endbefore Ihavefeeling ever impulsethe be to baptized… Butwhy my life that also be may It uncertainty. of feeling the had once even never have I Church. in the be to me wants God that feeling the moment, a for even had, once never have “I Sheaffirmed: willof accomplishment of God. the the about innerhergive certitude Solesmes, in all acts of her life she tried to follow the impulsions ”. itself? in everything of absolutely contain the not did ifit soulEurope of nations that would value…hownotbut quite without could flesh Christianity circulate the through of all Katherine T Brueck, Weil, Weil, Simone, Weil, Waiting for God, To sum up, given her acute need for intellectual freedom, not to mention sum to not freedom, her needintellectual the To acute for up, given from revelation after the that is fact the aspect interesting highly a In addition, Waiting forGod The Redemption of Tragedy :The Literary Vision of Simone Weil 31 :28 20 39 aneantissement ”, 40 of her predilection 38 (New York: State CEU eTD Collection 43 42 Press, 1994), 34 the time of writing this essay she was only sixteen. sainthas all rejected beingwell that would himfrom separate sufferingthe of men“ purity humanity and itusefuland was not anyone else to and she conclude that“every soldiersthat had brought tohim. noticedAlexander’s that Simone actonly hisshowed full helmet the water earth the of on out Alexanderhad poured adesert, while crossing thirst, their sharing by men his with solidarity share to order In Great. the Alexander chapter. Nevertheless, others biographical moments relevant in this sense can be added. in thebiography Weil sinceof her asit childhood, inthe wasemphasized previous unseeing“(Hebrews 11,1).Theprimary is herpredilection forproof sufferingmanifested made impossible the vision of the real beauty, the spiritual one, that is to say, “seeingwho selfishego the annihilationThis suppressingthe created.presupposed of that the the consciousness of its existence comes only after “breaking of the individual.” world. the beauty of real the to the and beauty, an inner fact in is beauty This approachesfact him condition, that his fragile a his vulnerability, hisfallrealizes butalso through suffering, the human beinglives from his separation harmony, supernatural the 41 condition”, affliction and 2.2. Suffering Petrement, Veto, Miklos, Veto, Miklos, During the classes of Alain, she writes an essay about an episode of the life of was rolethis process of constructive in terms,the In anycase, philosophical the Suffering is, in the view of Weil, a “privileged moment of the human the of moment a “privileged Weil, of view in the is, Suffering The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil 41 Simone Weil, 68 revealing its truth and, at the same time, some kind of its beauty. In and The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil , 25 21 (New York: State University of New York 42 43 -at CEU eTD Collection 50 49 48 47 46 when she thinks of of crucifixion.” thinks she when passion. She once told to fathermanifestwould relationship for herpreference always suffering instrong with Christ’s Perrin that she committed the sin of envy “every time experiences, Weil made between Weil adifference experiences, concept of resurrection. It seemed that the idea was “too joyful for her taste.” suffices.” alone Cross me. The to far easier be would that faith, to Christ‘s resurrection anyreference omitted 45 me so; I ‘m fed up“. for each step …ajoyous day; tired in butall allhappy morning;…a painful mylegs hurt act of A will distinct metro. “fell asleepin the of despair: physical those perpetually with joy alternate moral of profound moments ofher The time. of workers social state the experiencesin her“journal of factory”,the one ofthemost compelling documents about “a joy“. blend moral of physical curious pain and profound of 44 spiritual growth.” “theRenault to shediscovered , where redemptivesuffering, onlyroad valueof asthe and Alshtom at factory the in working spent she that year is the suffering of concept Gray, Weil, Weil, Weil, Gray, Weil, Simone Weil, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting forGod, Simone Weil, Simone Weil, Considering herself to be a “Christian outside of the Church“, the of outside “Christian be a to herself Considering But suffering canbe physical and spiritual.At time the of hermystical first for understandingmoment biography herAnother relevant the of and significant , Journal d’ousine 99 44 157 She later stated that the factory experience had brought her brought had experience factory the that stated later She 46 54 58 45 78 49 This was only the mentioned when time she inher writings the (Paris: Gallimard, 1983) in Gray, 48 Also, she claimed that “If The Gospel totally would 22 la douleur la Simone Weil , that issay , that to physical pain, 45 , 98 She recorded these Sherecorded 47 Simone Weil 50 CEU eTD Collection 55 54 53 with that necessity which constitutes uscontact gives alone us since“suffering to accessible become can beauty world‘s the the order of the world“. necessity, which alsoinvolves at the end suffering, can become an object of love. Here is which involves noobjective, goodness. apure Onlyby beauty, world’s brute the the desireour for goodness.” considered as a sacramental quality worldthe of which“like sendsa mirror, usback to divine “ technique be by owned mereobjects, deprived of others, any rights. to are considered they As such, dignity. human of a state of degradation to arrive victims inwhich state a slavery, involves it expression, ultimate its in or, degradation, social leaves permanent marks on our bodiesmarks. Affliction,and on our souls on the.” other be supported should leave transient any handnot itselfin does it and untilit disappears, “is a profound distress of both body and spirit that 52 to purenon to-be – being.” inconditionvitiated harmony “tohis self reduce the from order of that-which-ought-not- body. The asceticism proposedgood and the necessity, by which is toSimone say between the corporal Weilneeds and the desiresis of thea solution for reestablishing . conceptwillbe“affliction“ latter of the besttranslation the pain; psychological the lost 51 and suffering, corporal Weil, Weil, Weil, Gray, Veto, Waiting for God Waiting for God Waiting for God The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil, Simone Weil, In the essay “The love of God and affliction“, this latter is called a “marvel of In the first case, Weil sees the suffering in breaking the harmony between the between harmony the breaking in suffering the sees Weil case, first the In 124 53 that plays an important role in our illumination. Through suffering Through illumination. in our role important an plays that , 48 , 49 , 49 le malheur, 55 Initself, beauty is considered byWeil as goodness, afinality 51 Physical suffering is after all an intermediary state, which state, intermediary an all after is suffering Physical a term which refers to the inner pain, better said the 156 23 52 It involves humiliation and humiliation involves It 54 The concept of is of beauty Theconcept CEU eTD Collection reveal the beauty of the world to it, as in the case of Job. “ infinitesimal part of itself. Then, one day God will come to show himself to this soul and emptiness, or at leastwhen “thereis nothing tobeloved”. to go buton by suffering,wanting by experiencingthe divine to example.the absencelove, The arrival of God,following ego, and selfish the thisworld alsoof the of things of detachmentenvisages a to thatthisthough iskind to ofsay state a stateof the ofsoul fortheit cannot soulother maybe accomplishedrealities. only tomakebe inorder everything made space Heceasedto by God. implied arenunciation The de be- creation with is a statean to be attended by a human being which 57 56 is of depersonalization annihilation, the absence ofitmeans wanting only changeto oneself, life. one’s own includes This depersonalization a goalthings to addicted being in not them; change to he wants this things, to is addicted being human life. The name the every when time that states Weil other words, In depersonalization. and freedom that Weil gives to this longingprocess of the human being for natural beauty as an inspiration of God. of self-Christian for not beingreligion by preoccupied and beauty the of nature, identified the the Sheaccuses be- ascetic. anti to proves whereWeil few points very of one the Weil, Weil, Waiting for God Waiting for God In itself, de - creation is a divine act. After Weil, the creation of this world The solution inwould be, her vision, “the that soul has go to onlovingin the The condition for making contact with the beauty is contemplating it in a state in it withof a state is beauty makingthe contact contemplating for The condition , 70 , 71 56 De -creation 24 . 57 Therefore Weil claims that claims Weil Therefore CEU eTD Collection 58 realist vision about suffering: the case of Nicolae Steinhardt. example. In the next chapterof saints it duringwill be twentiethexposed suffering towards indeedattitude very isandcanbe rare foundin only asmall category a morecentury, common as andfor shareitintegrally.mankind This theuniversal andwantedto suffering of assimilate atexample the same Sophrony time Sakharovconditions of living fromfrom the, or withRussia the soldiers of forwere enduringinfactory, precarious who the workers the of suffering solidarity the with two world wars. She claimed to oflife. from necessities elementary privation the included alsoan almost pathological an component, forunusual attraction poverty, It also mannerin hastobe that the which recognized sheitlifeapplied during her an instrumentused by in to God helporder the soul detachedto itself from its sinful part. developed Weilsees asabasic by life suffering componentthe of a human and alsoas “ in “doctrine that, the general, itcan be considered However, above. named essay the in the majority of works of Simone Weil, but the principal theoretical approach to it is in necessary to know that love is a direction and nota state of the soul”. is …as itit asa“distance can but considered from isbe also God, a affliction gift Weil, Waiting for God In addition, this existential ismotivatedattitude by herself by herclaiming Of course, the problematic of sufferingis much more complex and presentmostly , 81 25 58 CEU eTD Collection and volumes two on Judaism. articlesRomanian in important –such as reviews published and inEngland, Switzerland, France,lotyears, hea traveled nexttwo the school of Universitythe of andinBucharest 1936 his PhDin Constitutional Law. During degreefrom Literature Lawand the he hisBachelor In1934, received and others. some Constantin Noica AlexandruPaleologu, such as Mircea Romanian culture,the Eliade, biographical isdetail mentioned in his diary. Hewasfellow student with key figures of by where, This hisbackground,religion hewastaughtorthodox despite a priest. in 1919 and high andSpiru birth, the school at acollege Bucharest-between 1929- Haret of place the Pantelimon, at school secondary and primary He attended mother. Romanian in cultural a Christian European references way. way he “converted” conversion will followleaded his ofthe that in steps to first. apresentation be After, Weil’s as case, provided and finally, a few thesis,examples asyntheticbiography,his his overview andof work of ofhis way thinkingof will given in orderhim notnumerousare and in is his Therefore,so heterogeneous. work partof this the to illustratefrom translations the since known very not is he level, in European On what inRomania. history diary” “happiness to agnosticism From 3.1. 3. Communist prison for Nicolae Steinhardt: Academia Nicolae Steinhardt was bornin near Nicolaefrom Steinhardt Bucharest1912, a Jewishfatherand a intellectual a occupies special placecentury intwentieth Nicolae Steinhardt and spiritual metamorphosis 26 Sburatorul , a volume of literary critics, literary of volume a , CEU eTD Collection 60 59 character”. “an claims, ecumenical as Steinhardt baptism, the have to given will Thisone. fact participants, two Roman Catholic priests, two Greek Catholic priests and also aProtestant alsoother were there priest, the with baptizedhim. Together father confessor, baptismMina aBasarabian onMarch 15, 1960. Dobzeu,his fellow convict, hermitand discouragement from his soul” Malmaison. Aiud, Gherla, Jilava, of jails communist the namely Romania, from remembering of sad places most of the stable; hewent over not was of seclusion The place years. years inbut condemnation thirteen ofimprisonmentonly of endwould execute the five a member of mystical of the ‘group Burningthe the a Bush’.Hereceived thinkers Communists. by the imprisonment his to led Noica- Constantin an “enemy of the people.” His refusal furnishto atestimony against another intellectual – communistinin regime Romaniaintellectual, 1948.Asanon-communist hewasseen as it instaurationyearslostthe of but hejob later, dueto Four his again regained policy by Antonescu. ethnicbythe of the cleansing Guard regimesupported Iron Ion translator. Nevertheless, the prison experience determined a new existential attitude from attitude new existential a determined experience prison Nevertheless, the translator. his major work, The Happiness Diary. Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae In 1939,he as worked an buteditor, lost his job due tothe implementation of As inhe wrote his Journal, “washed hiscondemnation any laziness,doubt, The main allegations were that he was ‘plotting against the social order’ and was After his release in 1964, Nicolae Steinhardt had a rich activity publisherand had activity as arich in Steinhardt his 1964,Nicolae After release 60 This biographicalthe constituted episode writing principal reason for the of The happiness Diary The danger of confessing 59 and precipitated his decision of receiving Christian the (Cluj-Napoca:Dacia, 1992), 20 (Cluj-Napoca: Dacia,1998), 31 27 CEU eTD Collection 63 62 of thatstrictly actions and thisauthoritarian type. regime punished controlled complex.the key events that led to her conversion, Steinhardt’s autobiographicalThe testimony ismore aspect that singularizes it is the fact that it was written under an Contrary to Weil’s it the conversion of the author is the center and the event that assures the unity of the text. The Happiness Diary, he died Few dayslater, there. dramatically worseneddecided togo to Bucharest toconsultand aspecialist. Onhis way to the capital city histhus health he was forced to remain in the hospital“By you will giving, gain”. of Baia Mare. grow duringcontinued his to Later, thisperiod. sermonsin were volume published the father-confessor and preacher fameasa writing. His to of his time part important an dedicating while librarian there work asa to continued life.He hismonastical started and by was accepted on later he thereasalibrarian beginningand worked abbot the the society” him for elementmonastery – ashe accept would as considered that wasstill a “dangerous by the communist existenceprofane hedecidedtobecome amonk. many After of findingtentative a regime - he arrived at the Rohia monastery. In the 61 now on in his biography. Aware, as he claimed, of the “fragility and futility” George Ardelean, George Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Steinhardt, The reflection on the conversion of Steinhardt should consider his major work, In healthhis March deteriorate 1989, to started lungs).(he suffered from He The danger of confessing, Nicolae Steinhardtand the paradoxes of liberty By giving, you will gain Spiritual Autobiography which is, after all, the “journal of a conversion”, of all, “journal is,after the which 62 57 (Cluj-Napoca: Dacia, 1997) 28 where she where very clearly discusses the order of (Bucharest: Humanitas, 2009), 176 63 that is to say, in 61 of the of CEU eTD Collection 64 toldme.convert Icannot Christianity…toa world to obsessed by being. farwell is How is intellectual not very “I evenhostile: Steinhardt skeptic, believe do what Irishthe guy Himwouldbe callSteinhardt to amongto Christians. the The reactionyoung the of him said He and appeared to in hehim which God hadadream friendthat confesses to their Jewish origin. leadedby his father. family His attend used to Sunday masses inat this Church spite of factory the near situated Church the of bells the by attracted was he childhood during mentioned be will they here However, order. followingin achronological not although Journal, his in them to the evolution. of the processauthentic character…” my givea realist, to testimony of conversion.solemn andIdidwantcharacter, not sound like to Ijustthat. be convincing, wantedto to First, itNevertheless,exists danger the that typethis work of becomes as hehaving an artificial, claims that instead of wayof the writing, only the thatsystematizesprocess and defines. do thatmewas impossible inner necessity. to It appearedto asan spiritual clarification need to clarify for myself the reasons for my deep religious transformation. This kind of was writing thisjournal. Hisjournal this momentrecollects asfollows: “Ifelt acute the journal was twice confiscated by the Security. Moreover, he was forced to declare why he political tolerantregime, under Steinhardt’s thus ademocratic, Green’s arewritten Ardeleanu, While other testimonies, such as Simone Weil’s, of Paul Claudel’s, of Julien of Claudel’s, Paul of Weil’s, Simone as such testimonies, other While The secondsuch indicationis in a trip1938, on to Switzerland, when an Irish Herefers steps. afew comprises conversion Weil’s Steinhardt’s case, Similar to Nicolae Steinhardt…, 177 29 64 CEU eTD Collection 68 67 66 Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…I reborn by stinking water and Rapid Spirit.” mycontent my of baptizes cupshoulders,the head, on on and mein namethe the of formulas of the ritual baptismof in a rushed manner then crosses me. He then empties the orifice of the door the survey convicts Two wherewater. stinking with it fills the cell, the of cup only the guardsquickly could watch. Father Mina Father Mina takes arebusy, When Guardians is the over. “The catechization Journal: pronounces the religious prison, Steinhardtdecidedbe baptized. to is Themoment in described vividin details the by his andby hispresence about his Jewish yearsLearning of origin.sentence in thirteen disturbed being without day every praying was cell the of fellow his where Malmaison, 65 hold-up react…” relatives that continues baptism isor just asentimentalto desire, a quest for compensation,surrender anew joy in the sadness me;However, he was still andhesitant: “I am a lazy I person; amand I am afraidnot - do I really wish thesure;Christianity,reunions about andhebegan to consider the possibility baptism.of and I am ashamed: part invarious took literature, in Christian intellectuals. Hebecame interested Orthodox how will my in believe dreams?” he can how him; for mercy of felling a me with he tells what to listened me…I by Christ Ardeleanu, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Commenting on this moment, George Ardeleanu George moment, this on Commenting The second phaseofhis placeconversion took in themonths first of his at prison, In 1954,in Bucharest, heattendingstarted of themeetings a group of Christian (literally robbery, attack of bandits) of the baptism, that is to say, rapid, Nicolae Steinhardt and the paradoxes of liberty, The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary The happiness Diary 66 65 , 72 , 82 , 333 30 181 68 speaks about the character of character the about speaks 67 CEU eTD Collection 70 69 an idea similar Hestates confessing.” dangerof of “The volume the part conversion, the thisdeveloped manner. ideaininabout a averyincomplete Steinhardt essay theoretical andin difficulttorecollect thus very by Theycanbe memory details. butreproduced only transient are conversions in general, that, stated been has it Above, such. as conversion of of such freshness and beauty?” speak about childhood…and above all, the“some kind of sweet, kindnovelty- air around, an atmosphere similar with that of the books which I am a new man- what is the source by followedbaptism and was feelings andaccompanied certitude total tolerance: of of cell. However, the existence of of tensioned the bythe rhythm assimilated being quickly baptism, Steinhardt philosophy,literature, and learningforeign languages. politics, After theology, were the speaks aboutan Academia”. also justbutan not altar, the act of creation “meant prison communist the for Steinhardt, says that Ierunca In Virgil this sense, work. to Marcel Proust,his also hiswritten notonly lifebut will of which transform happiness, source the the the conversionwill amplify and he will experiment an inner metamorphosis. The baptism will be for him thedamagedstinking gestures. the speed of the the water, instruments- cup, dimension with confronted improvised momentthe of nature of the ritual’sthe sacred the themoment: of aspects andinner exterior the bycontrasting constructed is scene the of beauty The priests. Protestants and Catholics orthodox, were participants the baptism because of this character mentions theecumenical also He forbidden action. Steinhardt, Virgil Ierunca, Virgil At this point, it is important to develop a very important point about the concept the about point important a very develop to important is it point, this At During the five years of “illumination” the of convict recentlybaptized the prison, The happiness Diary The years have passed , 181 70 ( Bucharest: ( Humanitas, 2001), 89 69 31 In the prison, the convicts werediscussing convicts the prison, Inthe CEU eTD Collection 73 72 71 rational manner the process of the spiritual transformation, which led to the conversion sufficient in a clarify to impossible an is it James: William by supported one the to about choosing an ideology, itis not even responding to a historical journal. be conversion cannot understoodbuttoalittle The from extent a conversion,about intoby Steinhardt’s and some authors-quoted Mystical Christian “. love this into me reinforcing me, enlightening me, relaxing , me helping in useful been have books some however, love; by of charmedway comparing,I arrived only the selectively studying, But reflecting. rationalizing, intellectualizing, not ways; comparative archeological, exegetical, phenomenal of ties individual…Iarriveevery didChristianity not to historical,on melted the around various causes, are there any conversion of accomplishment the sinfulness as in Weil’s case: “Even now, after the baptism, Iam dirty…the angel of Satan of is conscience the with mingled release of feeling the Nevertheless, Bucharest. from Church Orthodox an in Communion Holy the of and Unction of Sacraments in order to be resurrected, because he understood that this is the only way.” conversion means evading from the night of despair. The one who comes to Christ do this from know. and Church Indeed, not Holy the whom the Holy the Scripture does Alexandre Schmemann, Alexandre Steinhardt, James, The same idea was exposed in a theoretical way by some researchers who wrote who bysome researchers way inatheoretical exposed idea was The same is an quote necessary fragmentIt his“to important senseto in to testimony: this After his release in 1964, Steinhardt will complete his conversion hisconversion with the will complete in 1964,Steinhardt his release After Varieties… perspective: “The true conversion level atthe “The is true Itis ideas. notproduced perspective: not of The danger of confessing , 89 Of water and Spirit , 177 72 (Bucharest: Symbol,1992), 17 32 problem – term – term iswhich absent 73 logical - 71 . CEU eTD Collection 75 Steinhardt concludes that, comeas theobserver outit and cannot observe from inside.here,objectively From itclosedmake insideis asystem observations impossible this absolute about to system, illustrative. are sense in this examples A few from perspective. a Christian from reinterpreted knowledge,all discussed anddomains of metamorphosis. Inhis manyspiritual Diary’, are ‘Happiness there references, cultural more than twenty years of wavering around the Christianity. there are in and of baptism the Jilava beingintegrated Synagogue the Between fail of the This politicalan instantaneous his one. partly terror. wasnot explains why conversion of aregime under histestimony wrote Steinhardt First, type. this of similar testimonies apparently his other among conversion singularizeof the story that number of elements accompanied byincertitude, byfallsby many and revivals, dilemmas. Init werea 74 in a fact verifiedinner peace, men canobtain practice. the the doadvises Moreover,teaching him of Christ that. only to by good accomplishing the duringlife, as his good the accomplishing of attitude bethatof would correct a Christian the nevertheless in of God, the existence certitude therefore Universeand the about illusion”. wasastupid that Iwillgetridtemptations myface; of meon thought beats the Cf Steinhardt, Steinhardt, The experiences of two physicians, Michelson and Morley, proved that being that proved Morley, and Michelson physicians, two of experiences The a and intellectual an for himboth meant conversion the case, in Weil’s as Second, Clear enough,Steinhardt’s spiritual metamorphosis process very of was complex, 74 The happiness Diary The Happiness Diary, 75 despite the fact that man cannothave an objective knowledge , 197 138 33 CEU eTD Collection not dare it. dare toclaim not recognize it –asin the communism everybody knows that the system is anerror, but does to isbutnobody has courage naked the emperor the inallmenseesthat clothes” which terror in a way of living. of measures temporal the by into anightmare transforming lives transforming people’s Finally, there isfate the story of of Andersenthe the for communism: stands notarrive metaphor it destination asatellite.becomes does tothe This and “The emperor’s new a regime thatsurveillance. was undera permanent aims at bringing asifit acted population wherethe in communism the hestates, terror-as, of regime the happiness men under be toother pretend to wereobliged characters in the which Wallace by Edgar but story adetective mentions also He like theSecurity. exactly ignorance- their andconceal end up with menof ignorant control extreme measurestheir protectwho applied of sluggishness to position political in the arrival the by Empire Roman the of decadence the explained that history literature, fairyand from Russianthe first a historian tale. He quotes Rostovtsev makingfourmain examples regime explainsthe from of by appeal the to characteristics key, stating that the author is completely Christian in the message exposed. verses of the poet Jacques Prevert- atheist declared- he comments them on a Christian 76 aujourd’hui – the virgin, the enthusiast and the beauty of today -”. lele bel vivace et “Levierge, in verse the of a Christian portrait synthetic makes the conclusions that bear. the imprints of a Christian perspective. He claims that Mallarme Steinhardt, The third example is a novel of Jules Verne in which a starship sent to the moon the to sent starship a in which Verne Jules of novel a is example third The He regime. communist the about considerations some concerns example The last He quotes from a lot He quotes modern the andhe one especially French poetry, draws The happiness Diary , 67 34 76 Or,mentioning some CEU eTD Collection 78 George Ardeleanu, George 77 Weil’s, as conclusions same the at nevertheless, arrived, He manner. simple and elliptical but they included in had considerations he expressedtheminavery them, personal he Of historical philosophycourse, least, realities. not last but and literature, from Bible, suffering,basically extracted meltedabout intohisjournal of considerations a multitude culture inEuropean reflected 3.2. Suffering isinof facta Judaism racism”. and it heattributes to their complex of being chosenpeople: the lack “This of proselytism acknowledges the difficulty of conversion to Judaism of a non-Judaic person-difficulty he addition, In in Communion. bread wine and the -asthe the become sacred decent mannerstates. he anti-Semitism.”, the way necessary indeed, the conversionJudaic rejection he doesenthusiasm as he himselfnot confesses of– rejectthe precepts of thehis first religion. However,possibilityhis after his documentedNeuman volumes two followedbig onJudaism.He also-without former belief: of hehisand period,together Christianity. withthe wrote friend Emanuel Beforethe prison material“The conversion elements -isbetween similitudethe Jewish Jewishness regarding the his converts attitude original does notto imply in a Steinhardt, Nicolae Steinhardt, Emanuel Neuman, Illusions et realites juives (Paris: Librairie Lipschutz, 1937), 55 in 55 1937), Lipschutz, Librairie (Paris: juives etrealites Illusions Neuman, Emanuel Steinhardt, Nicolae The third peculiarity of Steinhardt’s The thirdandisconversion- that peculiarity Steinhardt’s valuableonlyforof Unlike Weil, whose vision about suffering was a very sufferingvery theorized one,Weil, visionSteinhardt about Unlike wasa whose The Happiness Diary Nicolae Steinahardt and the paradoxes of liberty , 318 78 35 77 Nevertheless, he criticizes, in a very in a criticizes, he Nevertheless, , 174 CEU eTD Collection 81 80 pain, injustice, suffering...children became men, and they can face the truth”. the face can they and men, became suffering...children injustice, pain, longer inaccessible andmen can be aware about “the terrible reality of theno Earth: is all is heaven the resurrection, Christ’s after hell, as destinations only the had souls all beginning whereasatthe states that, in way.a terrible Steinhardt tortured and sacrificed being martyrs the die Cross, to the on lets Christ He manner: in strange acted a very example. beginning with But, after Christ period, Gospel’s the into descendedhell, God who suffered here after they have passed the “exam” of suffering – as Job or Abraham for two different attitudes towardshuman beings: inthe Old Testament, herewarded those 79 that during the first centuries after Christ the Christian religious art put the accent on NewTestament”, the and between Old the contradiction incorporates Weil case the Steinhardt inof this topic of suffering. to face the suffering imposed by a totalitarian regime. Finally, it will be analyzed the way in by After,therewillbe someattitudesWeil’s suggested order exposed Steinhardt work. is in also aspectthat menpresent of suffering God, sufferingof between the and the difference makes the of concept also Steinhardt and tothe suffering typologies that the are interest of point A special existence. in human sense its explain to attempts his after, in this culture, and European concept evolution statementsaboutthe of of Steinhardt’s most frequent. are culture paradigms of European madewith and contextualized, parallels the better that they were difference, with the Kenneth Clark, inSteinhardt, Clark, Kenneth Steinhardt, Steinhardt, He reinforces thisidea by made an byKenneth observation Clark, First, regarding the sacred history, he takes into consideration into regardinghistory, “strange sacred the the hetakes First, In the presentation that follows, the main points will be: in the introduction a few The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary , 382 , 382 36 , 256 79 in provided sensethe God that 81 whichstates 80 CEU eTD Collection 83 82 condition. human in the enhanced names the firstin duties the ofaChristian,having Writing Steinhardt also about God’s trust goodness. two:pray, to and situation to present the behumbleness, with accept, to is way happy only The plan. and at the whichGod, is thehuman above understand words,men wisdom? other God’s In cannot same time to messagefeel contained in the response givenentirely by God to Job: how can a man judge the acts of problemssuffering. is Firstexplanation of from taken precisely byessential Bible, the the sufferingSteinhardt are expressed from a multitude of points of view, together with solutions to the be impossibleand to avoidedlife. during this therefore existence – as the French writer Camus,see it” incapable to are Steinhardt points that the suffering eyesan isnot always butour which isbutan “the fact, eventhistorical repeats crucifixion unlimited this position as also sustained byWeil, tobe proves perpetual until endof the world:the and one, men.first andthatof The God of suffering the between difference makes the and they cannot avoidit. However, howlong would that situation be? Here Steinhardt live suffering to one:menarecondemned inthis of isavery suffering pessimistic world suffering,injustice, of of absurd” Passion, martyrs the -andemphasizing human the intrue condition this world,“world of the events like Crucifixion, on the –focusing realistic artbecamemore religious the later on Ascension. But Sheppard,The the and Resurrection, –good optimistic subjects Steinhardt, Steinhardt, However,be why like thingshappento the by that? responsesgiven The The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary 83 . The second one is in fact an inherent characteristic of of our characteristic an inherent secondone isinfact . The , 379 , 291 82 . Therefore, it seems that Steinhardt’s vision about vision Steinhardt’s that itseems Therefore, . 37 CEU eTD Collection 85 84 cause the of happiness real spring the and joy”. of followed also byGod.Healso enounced the“paradoxical Christian law of itissuffering: away as suffering the assuming man helps which resurrection, in faith the mentioned this world”. this from Christians the out take to refuses nevertheless He kindness, His despite that fact the because not wouldbeChrist cruel.is love in only cruelty He andkindness.The resides aim the lifethis of isthe the highestarrival to degreeof disgust of lifethis is …,and that enemy, worse your is ways…God of kind in all suffer to means be Christian To suffer. doctrine is something like –tobethat loved and byGod tolove Him means infact to havelovedinsuffer byGod beenobliged Beingreformulated, to Christian the world. this really been have which those from of Kierkegaard:”All buta text key, under atheological possible. being not view of point rational the from explanation an accomplishment, and therefore, “the second birth”, that is say,to the baptism that leads to the inner peace, love, applied for getting out of suffering, would that beavoid impossibleit. to The solution is, have been in the room. In this sense Steinhardt concludes that if only humanthe reason is nobody went out. But at the same time, it would be impossible that the killer would not Gaston Leroux, in which the problem was that a crime was committed in a room of which that, Steinhardt mannersuggest the doing to of suffer. Inorder accept to joy isto Christ inthe arrive at quotes to way only the that assume and condition, a tragically their policetrespass must men suffering, novel “ The mystery of the yellow room” written by Soren Kierkegaard, in Steinhardt, in Kierkegaard, Soren Steinhardt, How these two, that is to say the joy and the suffering- can coexist? Steinhardt The second answer to the problem of the relevance of the suffering is again given The Happiness Diary 85 , 346 The Happiness Diary 38 , 245 84 That is to say,in order to escape from CEU eTD Collection 88 87 86 latter it ones. with isthe tohave category, patience first important the ones”. serious the aggravate which sufferings, little the and pains, real catastrophic serious, the beings, human against ways of acting hastwo “the Enemy words devil- minorother In also–the ones. are there and heroic sufferings big, classical, real are there mockery: the and tragedy the between commandments. divine the suffering”, the“saintly Steinhardt, salvation”. to obtain in order suffering the knowis to think it’sto wrong enough it totally that of runs all good the soul…so the with too. Steinhardt Henriquotes who “thespeaksde Montherlant, deathsuffering about that suffering and affliction,made writermakes byWeil. difference Whereas latter the the only between physical the former one states that there is useless youract, andheal to transfigured soul. suffering and not infactis purposeofsuffering. the meant Butacceptingwould to letting it really God useful understanding the accepting means suffering. Understanding and annihilating itand that between makes difference the love. Steinhardt His byreason of nevertheless the men who is that paradox The the suffering. inaccepting joy are resides Christian’s Weil:the spirit of loved by God, can also consider God as their major enemy, but Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Henri de Montherlant, in Steinhardt, The solution is extracted also from Kierkegaard, reformulated, but totally buttotally in reformulated, the from isalso Kierkegaard, extracted The solution The second typology is done in taking as point of reference the difference the reference of point as taking in isdone typology second The typology However, the sufferingthe of envisaged by differs Steinhardt bythat The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary 88 , 189 , 230 In order to be able to face the sufferings which are part of befaceare part able which to thesufferings In to order Happiness Diary 87 the suffering that imitates Christ and is adequate to is adequate and Christ imitates that thesuffering 39 86 The second category of suffering is, after , 229 CEU eTD Collection 90 89 and Weil, Simone Dostoievski, “invoking made are Crucifixion on comments Steinhardt his journal, utilizing her in the context of his considerations about suffering. For example, alotquoted from of Steinhardt of cultural the writer, French Weilin genius the Simone and intelligence.” Christianity call not does onlytoblindus butto justice, obedience, tolerance, wisdom a Christian… for doubt be no can there law), (positive commandments human and law) (natural commandments divine the between is aconflict “When there that states He one. be thelast in would attitude of a Christian case correct the idea is that main Steinhardt’s established andvalid by mistake”.no adapt to the system , and finally,refusing to secondone- the self-neglecting, said,by of out regimethe better total getting fighting –or self-mortification of attitudes: possible next the against with deal They testament.” “political it. All these three solutionssolutions areexposed at beginning the journal, of underSteinhardt’s subtitle the of are “well personalities: Alexandr Soljenitsin,Alexandr Zinoviev and Winston Chuchill. These theirbe followed, dispositions to threesolutions envisaged also bythreecultural at have men totalitarianism, by imposed privations and sufferings the Facing conversion. of event the before written been have them of some that fact the being Christians, to only areaddressed considerations imply these that no thefact do this attitudes course, proper attitude to be followed in the case of the existence of a totalitarian regime. Of Steinhardt, Steinhardt, A special point of interest lies in the considerations made by Steinhardt about the about by Steinhardt made considerations in the lies interest of point A special Perhaps not only because of their common Jewish nationalities, but also because also but nationalities, Jewish common their of because only not Perhaps Nevertheless,in thefollowing pages –andvery in - his subtle prologue The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary 90 , 9 121 89 40 CEU eTD Collection 95 94 93 92 91 stigmatized it’s aperson who man baptizes “every factalso: this enounces formulation, to be almost an impossibility. The Russian theologian Evdokimov, on a different less false”. is or more suffering of model this of different avoidpermit him to feel the suffering, to Himself byFather.isabandoned Allthat suffer. To use the words hasauthentic, God taken humanthe hypostasis including inits integrality, the capacity to of Weil –“the sufferingKierkegaard”. made Jesus to pray, to ask Father to react. For a beingreact. human by“thenecessity”, blindmechanism of pierced whichone piercedsuffers with by a stigmatized insect a needleand totally incapable to sufferingnot to become scandalous.” this that in order needed materialization The was God. over man superiority of suffering: “The Weil: also he quotes and it, given have who writers other he quotes but , definition frequent in Weil’s writings. In heressay, In writings. in Weil’s frequent Happiness Diary two reflections of Weil and comment on them on relation with cultural references from suffering,butfor asupernatural utilization of suffering.” superiority of isit searchChristianity thatnotdoes for asupernatural remedy for beingthat chosen by means God being by abandoned Him …The extraordinary by is “Theterrible ofWeil,reflections of paradox often Christianity Steinhardt: quoted Weil, Weil, Weil, Simone Weil Steinhardt, Gravity and grace Waiting for God Gravity and grace In the attempt of In theattemptof notgivedefining suffering, does the Steinhardt original aproper The motif manof of - or Christ -abandoned is byGod, indeed a theme very The Happiness Diary, , Waiting for God 91 His main idea is that the suffering of Christ was entirely assumed as and . , 187 , 45 , 156 , 89 167 93 Regarding the same subject, there are another two The loveofGod andaffliction, 41 92 94 Let us stop a little on these she the compares 95 loving seems CEU eTD Collection 99 98 97 96 to get use with her absence. cruel a motherin wholearn awaysimilar to walk, herhim childto in and letsuffer order he apparently watches humans. –Godinfact acts andprotectthe happiness But carefully and joy real experiencing means God in being of fact the ultimately, because – abandon developed Weil’sidea, butin way.a more concrete During the suffering by provoked the conditions”. the condition of a to in it, heattempts has theatrical something isof death say,Socrates That to God, the torture. while Christ “descends surrounded by his friends while diesChrist alone, leaved by all his followers and in until thecalm, manner, innoble latter The dies one a of Socrates. with that compared Christ, most inferior parts of human Charles Peguy which reproached to Dante that he visited the Hell as a tourist. agony until endthe of the world.” by an invisible way, aperson which adds something at the suffering of Christ, which isin Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Evdokimov, Paul Steinhardt here God, by being” human of “abandonment the Regarding of death the of character heroic un- the speaks about way, Steinhardt same In the The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary, 98 And this descent is in fact the most authentic suffering. The ages of spiritual life spiritual of ages The 99 , 234 212 278 96 Moreover, not without significancequotes Steinhardt notwithout Moreover, (Bucharest: Christiana, 2003), 78 42 97 CEU eTD Collection 103 102 101 100 affliction”. and uncertainty, love, “mingling life of way be in as “studies could of seen theirtheodicy”. writings significance of the process of conversion was one of One aim of this returning“turning or process”, thesisa like it treat generally example, for Morrison Karl or isRambo, Lewis as such conversion, to show of phenomenon the studied thathave who authors of majority The Christianity. of history in the cases of Weil and Steinhardt asinstitution Church theof the acceptance and Refusal attitudes. religious 4.1.Two real condition –acomparative approach 4. Two converts thenew existential facing Christian many times to the apostles that in order to follow himrepeated Christ repentance. to call they Gospel’s the of message of the very content indeed the will have to suffer but at the of theways God”. “vindicated that experiences were their conversions words, time.other In of their events historical the to case- Steinhardt’s pointview theirof -,secondto mainlypreoccupations cultural andfinally,- in from a Christian-philosophical suffering – issueof the senseto conferred conversion Morrison, Morrison, Karl Morrison, Lewis Rambo, Another aim of my thesis is to show that in these cases conversion meant a new meant a conversion in cases these that show isto my aim thesis of Another The two conversions presented above are, without any doubt, singular cases in the Understanding conversion Understanding conversion Understanding religious conversions Understanding conversion 100 , 67 , 66 from and to religious groups, ways of life and so on. (London:University Press of 1992),Virginia, 67 43 (London: Yale University Press, 1993), 14 101 102 This is reason the why a bigpart 103 In fact, these components are components these fact, In conferring sense conferring . First, their First, . CEU eTD Collection 108 107 106 this Human issueinbooks. their simply depictinwords, said, cannot way a complete the 105 subsequent description of subsequent description process”. this of ledthat tohisconversion. with a special focus on baptism, the ritual as mainly that, for is Steinhardt, thevery event discussespart next the their Second, Christianity. embracing to attitudesthem led that steps the following towards the Churchtestimonies as Institution of their and biographies differentother writings –drawingontheir texts, andthe autobiographical friends- towards withthe Sacraments,a focus of their it atand looks main the differences Firstly, manner. similarities in a comparative on the processes of their conversions, finallyworld, in the their to led acting of ways accomplish,that the tasksto werethe which clearly saw very they conversion events the Following life. their in orientation cultural and spiritual new 104 commitment”, afaith faith system to a of absence itsthe “from moved They suffering. absurd aspects, and to others – themselves to explain to try they references, by profane and Christian theirboth Incorporating writings - the essential questionsthem.”(Gospel of Saint John 16, 16) of the human life: from away totake nobody beable “ajoy would that become will end, suffering their its aim, its Steinhardt, James, Morrison, Nock, Rambo, It has been said that “the experience of conversion is quite different from the from different quite is conversion of experience “the that said been has It The next presentspart of these metamorphoses chapter this spiritual cultural and remarkable. quite are biographies intellectual Steinhardt’s and Weil’s Conversion, The varieties of religious experiences, Understanding religious conversions Understanding conversion, The Happiness Diary, 104 “turned towards a positive “turned towards ideal” 9 95 66 , 15 178 106 James 44 107 105 andSteinhardt and, most importantly, acquired a 108 have also touched have also CEU eTD Collection 109 fictive” are nature before them vividare not experiences but literaryonly which by compositions, their very have historians “what statement Morrison’s in texts. present these some extent is, to truth andspiritual of historical percentage acertain Nevertheless, of God. real experience 111 110 life.”of and object Christianity: prayer, inspiration, searching for God, and “the instant of death as the center her towards Therebe attitude her sheexplains readbyFatherto confessor. only Perrin, justin order letter her She wrote autobiographical experience. her divine mainof aspects SteinhardtContrary though, sheto neverexpressedthe need toclarify for herself the is for“Waitingman. God” it shehadeven to asingle a confession, addressed though –or Saint –her ofherfrom Augustine experiences life.letter Like Steinhardt volume the ones. honest very being as them on rely can one testimonies, authentic provided who Steinhardt, Nicolae and Weil, Simone Claudel, Paul Pascal, Blaise Augustine, Saint case of uncommon converts, that is , intellectuals of a high stature, such as Saint Paul, any human being”. letters. herof writing date down of the always put indeed numerous as quite shein order, -havebeen published anapproximate didnot numerous lettersher in contained mainly notes, autobiographical numerous has andshe is that Steinhardt’s in her notebooks. This is why, after her death, her manuscripts – Morrison, Weil, Weil, What Weil wrote, for instance, is an introspective analysis of the divine Weil claimed that her discovery of Christ happened “without the intervention of intervention the “without happened Christ of discovery her that claimed Weil Waiting for God Waiting for God Conversion and text, 109 110 111 is perhaps only partially true. However, taking intoconsideration the , 57 In fact, the main difference between her method of and of confessing method her between themain difference Infact, Like Steinhardt, she was an agnostic (“I may say that never at any at never that say may (“I agnostic an was she Steinhardt, Like , 21 7 45 CEU eTD Collection the greatest possible evil”. possible greatest the friends said,“She makingin of mistakewas afraid such a which amanner her seemed to a highly trained one. She never considered the problem of God because, as one of her 115 114 113 112 pre-eminently of religion the slaves”, “Christianity is convincedherthat experiences human Sheaddedthatthese condition. Both events made herconsciousimplied of sufferingthe by Christianthe view on the andby in in trip shemade the byPortugal. factory yearof the the working anticipated nothing”. knows one whom about speak not does one of ina subject saying that her teachings, mention philosophical God inmoment mylife for have God’”) I‘sought religiosity of English people… God, without any doubt, is at His homeis inGreat His atwithout anydoubt, religiosity God, people… English of in He confessing.” traveled alot England andwas andFrance impressedby “deep the “The dangerof book the “testimony”of in chapter the evolution are recorded experiences of Christianity– and began his of The innerquest God. details of his spiritual childhood of memories nostalgic the retaining still and Rabbi the of competence cultural the preceptsfollow to Neuman, of Emanuel friend his of theinfluence the under tried, he Jewish family- agnostic religion. He abandoned a Jewish member of Weil agnosticconvinced woman, – a direction. Unlike oriented it after a while – unhappy with the it. contest Weil, Perrin, Thibon, J.M. Perrin, Weil, Gustave Thibon, Group, 2005), 27 Quite on the contrary, Steinhardt approached Christianity from from approached Christianity more on a culturally-Quite contrary, Steinhardt the Waiting for God, Waiting for God Simone Weil as we knew her , 22 22 113 Simone Weilas we knew her Moreover, as one of her pupils remembered, “she refused to 114 Weil claimed that her approach to Christianity was 115 , 28 a very Marxist affirmation for one who will later will who one for affirmation Marxist avery 46 112 until like until but, conversion,the Steinhardt, (London: Routledge Francis– Taylorand CEU eTD Collection ingredients which would permit name to Weil as a “Bride of Christ”. biological coupling”, social andof combined renunciation the sex celibacy,of with “chastity about is it case in her say, to is That Antiquity. the of rhetoric in the origin its 121 University Press, 1996), 9 period sheperiod wasvisited constantly by his divine presence. Solesmes after the that she claimed as presence, Christ’s of her experience to are related Both Christianity. to conversion of process the for relevant very are which – Steinhardt read ortalked toChristianity. anything referring never she prayed, had events these asuntil newexperience, asatotally transformation “Christ himself possession” came downand took McNamarra , traditional gender role, but women themselves rarely indulge in its implicit eroticism in their writings” in 122 120 Weil, in of me“ possession took he when occasion first on the than clear moments, Christ is present with me in person, but his presence is infinitely more real, more moving, more 119 118 117 of recitation liturgical services during that week, the recitation of the English mystical poetry,later the the Easter, before at Solesmes spent she weekthat The in this sense. episodes decisive in prayer, hopes”. 116 Britain”. McNamarra, “’Brides of Christ’ a male concept of female spirituality, serves very effectively to anchor women to a Jo Ann Kay McNamarra, other at or recitation this God…During as of Him thinking without ofHim thinking of incapable was I “ Weil, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, First, sheFirst, beincluded can women” inthecategory of “virile with she shares – that Weil’s personality aspects of more important two There are Speaking about the events that produced Weil’s conversion she mentioned a few a mentioned she conversion Weil’s produced that events the about Speaking Waiting forGod 116 During this period, hefor “sought refuge in inchurches, books, Christian Sisters in Arms Sisters The danger of confessing The danger of confessing Our Father Sisters inarms Sisters 117 , 27 , 56- ce , 56- retorica trendy… Sisters in Arms – Catholic Nuns through Two Millennia in Greek, all these contributed to the fact that, assheclaimed, factthat, tothe contributed all inthese Greek, , 13 , 179 , 176 47 118 of her. herinner Sheexperienced 119 Waiting forGod 120 122 , a concept that has that a concept , (Cambridge: Harvard , 24 121 CEU eTD Collection a religious concept, which is which a religious concept, any need for sexual relationships. of absence the with attitude her motivated simply She Steinhardt. and Stein of cases the in livesas monastic adoption of lifethe –like consecrated form any traditional of the of she did not claim to have adopted it for the love of Christ, neither did she orientate it to sufferings of the whole humanity involved in the war and also to abandon herself to the to herself abandon to also and war the in involved humanity whole the of sufferings She –whilepretended wasin she in agony ina hospital experience - England to the from her her people life, starting childhood. entire her poor with the solidarity manifested Weil period, of medieval the on thenuns Like suffering. herit, specialattitude son”. herformula with “your addressed mother respectful to the letters heras shealwayssigned woman”. was “struck byher beauty”. more testimony, she seeingafter by from camewhich bath intoSouvarine’s her sea, a the 124 123 her”. about sinister something with “asexual, her as Bataille considered her George friends, of one that such extent beauty an to feminine her masked deliberately She life. her from intrusion male any eliminate to hadtried Weil herconversion before Even for example. deLisieux’s Therese or Stein’s 126 125 Gray, Bataille’s testimony in Richard Burton, Perrin, Thibon, Perrin, Thibon, 126 After theregarding conversion, shemaintainedattitude hersingularbut sexuality, The second important aspectthatsingularizesThe her biographysecond important to spiritual is related Nevertheless, her case is more complex than any other similar ones, such as Edith Simone Weil – a life 125 Her attitude was reinforced by her mother who called her “Simon” at home, at “Simon” her mother whocalled by her wasreinforced Herattitude Simone Weil as we knew her Simone Weil as we knew her , 157 124 imitatio Christi Weil often spoke about her “singular misfortune of being a Holy Tears, Holy Blood , 46 , 45 48 – imitating Christ – and, in connection in –imitating Christconnection with –and, 123 Bataille’s account is emphasized even isemphasized account Bataille’s , 139 CEU eTD Collection accompanied it one should consider the two components of the “normal” process of distance”. from but animosity, with me; shortly expressed: Iwasedifiedhow about the Iwanted world works. to seeit, not saw and lived in prison,the manyof truths regardingthe humanbeing were to revealed Later me” thison, hemotivated 10,37). (Matthew shocked choice:I by “Iwastoo what worthy of me. And followedhe that the sayingstakes of thenot He monastery. the at his retirement Gospel: after especially pleasures earthly all of refusal his “He thatcross love fatherand or followsmother more than after me is not me is not worthy of of of much happiness”.so besleep,me towakeupin able middlenight because to not to happened to the the or of wanted me;heme ofhappiness mud.Thestate in all saw lasted the of period prison…it me,his soul:of he arrived he intheaccepted prison “Christ the deepdesire realized journal. Concerning the secondproblem as imitation - the as Christ- of soon Steinhardt his in sexuality about considerations of lot a making him prevent not did however, This chastity. of vote the period, prison the mostly after assume, to He seemed writings. his in mentioned is that life his in presence feminine any of reference no is there celibate; Christi- 129 127 soul”. Christ of whole with God’s to as itselfone’s will… Think butaspart not own existence perceive one’s stick.man’s To letters: “Blind in last her one of asshewrote will God, of 128 Steinhardt, Gray, Steinhardt, 127 In discussing thatled the mainevents their to conversion and the feelings that In Steinhardt’s case, these two aspects- namely the chastity and the are, however, less complicated. Before and after the conversion, hea life of had conversion, the andafter Before less complicated. are,however, Simone Weil – a life The danger of confessing, The danger of confessing 128 , 211 He also manifested the desire of imitating Christ mostly by mostly Christ imitating of desire the manifested Healso , 187 185 129 49 imitatio CEU eTD Collection always had the Christian idea of love for one’s neighbor”. one’s for love of idea Christian the had always I “From childhood my inearliest misfortune: love those for child was a compassionate brutally rejects her. another encounter with the Lord, just that this time he acts in a differentmanner and even noble humility does not downlove on the scales.me. I Howdescended134 could without heknowing love anything, me? my Butsoul in pieces…Iin my knowheart, very well thatsome he part of me cannot refuse to think, he washerlaughing torturer”. feeling that “God played with her as a wife this –like converts’ is repentance conversion.cases by in However, combined other - the suspected of infidelity or even as a toy, that love.initially after of theurging acceptthat, finally only to refuses, sins, its of conscious soul, the but it, with eat and sit to is soul the to demand between dialogue –infact Love –and Christ the soul “guilty lust and sin”. of content of the poem is in poetry, she apoem Love, persisted repeting of headache.called The despite a terrible a perfect illustration of her need for lovewith her mother to Solesmes.and penitence. It is factlove),lefta consequenceof of needofsuffering (in needof the Weil the pathology a experience in working and during brink shetothe the factory,periods which accentuated 133 132 131 130 “ byKarl Morrison: presented as conversion “ I kneeled, I embraced his feet, I begged him not to chase me frombeing next to him. But he threw me Morrison, Weil, Petrement, Morrison, All her biographers noticed the accentuation of the feeling of repentance after the mystical the to her introduced who England from men young the meeting After Waiting forGod Understanding conversion Understanding conversion Simone Weil ”. 130 As has been stated before, stated As been has 134 , 23 , 45 The assurance of love is generally present in the cases of cases in the present generally is love of assurance The 133 Another text that she wrote in herlifenarrates shewrote endof that the text Another , 66 , 8 50 one of Weil’s dominant characteristics as a the need for loveandpenitence the needfor 131 After the teaching After the 132 and Love’s the CEU eTD Collection 139 138 137 136 135 ( Paris, Gallimard, 1950), 10 trembling of anguish, that, maybe, despite all, he loves me” inSimone Weil, the moment of his conversion, that is to say the baptism in the prison, the needplace right in whole”. the for love misery… human of felt, and lived testimony, a be rather they May be that. not they may then, me For them. of made be to use privations) are often tests of man’s nothingness andassuming this truth: “For men enduranceof physical courage sufferings (and and of strength of thegravity soul. But there is a better becoming nothingness”. of me right the accord please “God, herself: annihilate to her conversion, after mostly Himself – human for being. Weil’s but salvation before, the wanted case she of the In sacrifice to in order divine the of (kenosis) self-humiliation contained incarnation of act unique but the of soul, nobility the expressed of The acts Christ condition. existential only embracing alife of suffering, privations and humbleness, butalso assuming anoble Christ it and very contains pointa of view:paradoxical following Christwould meannot andlaid desolate”. afflicted, mocked, were faithful “even when the conversion insects…never never seekfriendship… dream permit oneself to friendship”. of people, in a sense, I do notfor other be absurdities: “Indeed, for pitied notto need herpatent aterrible manifested exist. I am the color of dead leaves, like certain unnoticed Weil, Weil, Morrison, Weil, Morrison, , she emphasized the fact that the sign of human dignity is in factrecognizing is dignity human sign of the that fact the emphasized , she In Steinhardt’s case the two aspects manifest as follows. First, a few hours after hours afew First, as follows. manifest aspects case two the In Steinhardt’s “The noble humility” noble “The Graceand gravity Waiting for God Waiting for God, 24 Understanding conversion Understanding conversion , 157 (London: Rutledge Classics, 2001), 34 138 139 Nevertheless, in many of her writings, especially in 137 is in fact a component of the spiritual process of imitating , 155 , 66 51 We have to be nothing in order to be in our be to in order be nothing to have We La connaissancesurnaturel 136 Grace Grace and 135 Weil CEU eTD Collection 142 141 Christian condition is, generally, more optimistic, more realistic, less philosophical and philosophical less realistic, more optimistic, more generally, is, condition Christian the about view of point Steinhardt’s difference. important an notice to is easy it writers, Steinhardt’s case inWeil’s. Whenjudging entirethan philosophy the religious two the of world”. regarding this attachments takes God out theinstrument of healsurgery, to hedecides us of any pathological when moment “the accept to need one condition, Christian normal the share to order in who prays for those who crucify you and crucifies those who love you”. 140 eaten” Karamazov too. Markel, of brother Zosima the abbot inDostoievski’s novel, animals, the of suffering the And humanity. entire the of sins the backs, our on souls, our general culpability: regarding regarding ourselves, We others. carry shoulders,on our on a we realize accuses, imaginary basis of herewe areon that fact the Although guiltiness. prison the convicts could hear the bells of the Church near the prison - : the feeling of our his journal moment the after of his conversion. in recorded repentance of feeling the on testimonies his of one to refer briefly will I this the name of a writer, a book, a character of a book, a song, or a piece of art. To illustrate mentionsit very Weil’s: on with conversion, almost his account of comparing paragraph with cultural Thisisdimensions. infact one of importantdifferences the hisof account interrelated always case, his in usual became it as but, plainly, manifests penitence and Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, 140 The second aspect- the aspect- The second He feels “the first effect of by He feels first effectof sound “the accentuated the of bells seclusion, in– the . On the aspect of imitating Christ, he quotes Lean Bloy’s claim -“ oh Christ, : it is because of our sins that they arrived to eat one another, and to beand to another, eat one to arrived they sins that our of is because it : The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary, 128 The Happiness Diary , 267 , 99 noblehumility 142 52 of the recent converts- is present more in 141 He states that The Brothers CEU eTD Collection 144 145 143 thetruth”, of guardian asthe Church the “accept Gospels. the of her reading and Christ of experience her own than a smaller degree to case in any and In addition, Christian the theology she knew influenced her on a verysuperficial level late Christianity Weil’sandcame world-view. relatively to open too Steinhardt, develop not enter into the aims of the present thesis. It suffices to say that, in contrast to isof Christ being of that a“gentleman”. more existential. That is to say, he states first that one of the most important characteristic an inventory of her deviations”. her of inventory an Catholic? or Christian named Miklos orEric Veto whatextentcould have Springsted question: raised the Weil to be as such researchers, Many ”mother.” institution an as Church Orthodox the assumed position in Catholicthe Churchis ambiguous,whereasquite Steinhardtintegrally Weil’s isthat consideration into beshould taken that Oneaspect Church. the towards Heaven. of heirs God, of sons being of that condition: true their recognize to invitation an be would for humans all messageof Lord the the he that here concludes From condescendence. of Christ is full of dignity, of respect for every human being, of trust and Veto, Perrin, Thibon, Steinhardt, Following Father Perrin’s - one of her closest friends – testimony, she claimed to If her“religious philosophy” weretobe inisitanalyzed “take detail, possible to their attitudes refersto two the between comparison of the aspect The second The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil The Happiness Diary Simone Weil as we knew her , 33 144 Butthis is a quite toosubstantially subjectwhich does , 231 143 , 160 He argues that almost in all cases the behavior in casesthe almostall that Heargues 53 145 but she stated also that she had the had she that also stated she but CEU eTD Collection Church, waiting”. Devil disguised”. licence. of sort every it with carries which mixture intoxicating an divine: labelled social which good account sulliesit. itof Somethingcontainswhich than of on evil the the Church, be which divineclaims to dangerous on isperhapsmore account of the only duty with regardpray for theto world.the social The socialthe spiritual part of is the soul:order “Christ redeemedto the vegetative, istry not the social.irreducibly He did not to limit as bad for initself the latter regarding -,andthesocial, real one the sensitive, practical that the of theevil prince of of it.this A world.society Our like the the final limit. She reproached the Church for the rigidity and narrowness of its social its of narrowness and rigidity the for Church the reproached She limit. final the 150 149 148 147 146 “ here. In short, she thoughtcomplex that, and, given takenthe size of thisas thesis,a component only a few synthetic of ideasthe about society, it will appear Catholicismword, apart from all these things that I do love”. is an ceremonies. But I havelove them.not the I loveslightest the Saints; creature to faith andisas much Catholic as it the forinadequate such a miserably possible love I love for thethe CatholicChurchnot heronly forargument her refusal beingof ofbaptism. She said:love “‘I God,Christ liturgy,in the strict hymns, notin“God does her want Church”. sense the for instance, feelingthat, certain architecture, of the rites and ersatz Weil, Weil, Weil, Weil, Weil, So to speak, she preferred to remain, as she claimed “on the threshold of the of threshold the “on she claimed as remain, to she preferred speak, to So The problem of The how Weil very Churchisthe understood problem of complicated and of truth”. Waiting for God Graceand gravity Graceand gravity Waiting for God Waiting for God, 148 149 150 She made the difference between two aspects of life, the vegetative – oflife,vegetative aspects the two between Shemade difference the She wanted to be included in it,but she refusedaccept to it, going to , 145 , 12 31 , 166 , 165 54 147 146 And this is this And ersatz CEU eTD Collection 153 152 151 due toher “extremely superficial idea she hadof Churchthe and Catholics”, Perrin affirmed that for Weil, the love of Christ “seemed to be enough”. regarding this aspect, connected with her opinion about the Catholic Church. First, Father add afewideas to hereitwould beproper baptism. However, Weil the receive to something uprooted”. involvementin hasChristianity made of Christendom,in itsregard toown past, people, have the of the uprootedness wholeuprooted of terrestrial caused globe.Their the handful that Jews, Neither repulsive…The is Beast always The Great islikable. other the nor one religion. of Beast Great the is Israel itself. but nothing adoring materialism, and she also has from Apocalypse, Beast Great with the Catholicism of capital-city Rome, the compares anti-Semiticorganization for andits inflexibility the authority.of she Moreover, even arrived to affirmations: “Rome is the Great Beast of atheism and sermons, literary analyses, he utilizes very atypical cultural artifacts for this this for area of artifacts cultural atypical very he utilizes literary analyses, sermons, letters, articles, Christianity, concerning all his writings In converts. orthodox Christian Orthodox Tradition, with one particularity makes that his case singular in history the of Christian the within fully are Church the concerning he wrote that considerations his of all mostly reborn, spiritual his as he regarded that event baptism, the After be baptized. feel theneedto not individualistic religiouspreferred tofind inherstating thatritual, does she refugee own Perrin, Thibon, Perrin, Thibon, Weil, In the first chapter were exposed the principal reasons concerning the refusal of therefusal concerning reasons theprincipal wereexposed firstchapter In the Steinhardt’s position towards the Church is, simply put, a very obedient one. avery obedient put, is, Church simply the towards position Steinhardt’s Graceand gravity Simone Weil as we knew her Simone Weil as we knew her 151 , 165 , 46 , 45 55 152 He states that, Hestates 153 she CEU eTD Collection fragments from Gospels or samples of prayers addressed to the Mother of God. universe”. of ,“thecoordinates the “psychoanalysis” “graphics”, “perpendicularity”, “plan”, , as“metaphor” concepts he uses style: literary alsoa and mathematical heusesa Cross, Defining of of illustrate the God. charity Mother Brassensthe inthe to George order of asong of text the Heuses human condition. of character merciless and tragic the 155 154 Human fate consolations and helps for the soul, that is to say, the Cross and Mother of God. “compassion”has the everyone that for hethinks nevertheless evangelicals), or (neo-protestants “sects” member of liberty “brothers as recognized generally those with opinion same at the notis he evenif that, He states of choosing confessions. Christian ofconfessions Christian three from priests of presence in the baptized a different his all after whowas thought, of Steinhardt’s character itmarks theecumenical of beginning own belief”waymonk.became The a Steinhardt after period Rohia a short monastery preached to of seeing religion.God. proper to stop at oneHowever, of hisis it sense, sermons this In etc. poetical, regarding economic, juridical, styles: the language of cultvariety a melted of the Cross-and of the Motherhe orthodoxy, of Christian of apology he his by Moreover, Key. Christian in a culture of areas feels Christianity. He seems to be until now, the only converted who succeeded to view all Steinhardt, Steinhardt, He states, among other things, that the Cross anticipated literary creations, as creations, literary anticipated Cross the that things, other among He states, wasincluded in The volume “ the sermon 155 By giving you will gain By giving, you will gain of Malraux or But he doesn’t neglect the theological language, mentioningdogmas, theologicallanguage, the neglect Buthe doesn’t Journey atthe end of the night , 282 , 277 56 By giving youwillgiving gain” By 154 because they miss because great they two of whichof Celine, books prove anditwas CEU eTD Collection 157 156 of content his message. spiritual be more simple, more comfortable for the reader and, probably, to seems more skills, human in themulticultural his despite Steinhardt, Upanishads. or Gita Bhagavad Iliad, deciphera syncretism, as messagein to at writings inwhich Christian she attempted one notneglecting the suffering of the Lord. The cultural profile of Weil allowed her to arrive main isinwhereas focusedSteinhardt’s vision fact of Christianity on while resurrection, very sospeak, “wasMoreover,unusual way. Weil’sfaith Friday”, onGood to stuck, Church the alot in unlike Weilwho theorized it conceptthe of understanding obedience a conditions”, social the made to friends and,ideas any refused concession her mentioned“she asoneof with obstinacy go of out Platonic one cannot latter whereas the But Weil. of Simone way a counterpart Burton, Perrin, Thibon, Shortly put, Steinhardt is the model of multilateral Christian intellectual, in some intellectual, Christian multilateral of model is the Steinhardt put, Shortly Holy Tears, Holy Blood Simone Weil as we knew her , 145 156 the former is really a practical and obedient servant of servant obedient and apractical formeris really the , 120 57 157 CEU eTD Collection about this theme is theme this about deals which essay main the but writings, her of majority in the present heterogeneous, – Iunderstand it’s and Lord the Iaminsidethat of taboricalthe light.” butwords, by transmissionthe Andof thoughts. Iunderstand, byintellect and by feeling 159 158 in his very “person”, is her with in present God asheclaim that heraccount Weilvery and isdirectaudacious whereas But suffering. his with and him with relations their to also and passion Christ’s Job’s. and as Christ’s suffering cases towards of two attitude willupon secondpart becomment followed. The to of suggested approach focuswill onsufferingandattitudes typology definition, their comparative the part, theoretical In the chapter. of this content in the will appear meaning of suffering. true the is,in essence, He Christ. it to refer to taught was one unless was meaningless Nevertheless, from this sense, other inChrist ones ofsuffering ways 4.2. Two emerge also, and they last forever, it isit a forever, last parts, it is a total happiness, and that is nothing outside all it.from me I am in surrenders the light.that light The I know happy. it will extremely feel I – and bright and – white light huge a only but in person, Christ see not do “I be Christ: to he supposed that light a but Christ, “experienced” he that pretend not does He on. so and calm sweetness, silence, Steinhardt, Weil, Weil’s discourse on suffering is, as it was shown in the first chapter, very chapter, in first the itwas shown is, as suffering on discourse Weil’s Referring first to their autobiographical writings, both both againandfirstagain to Referringturned totheir writings, autobiographical In their very different ways, Weil and Steinhardt held to the idea that suffering Waiting for God The Happiness Diary perpetuum immobile perpetuum Love of God and affliction of Love , 58 158 Steinhardt writes Steinhardt only states about innerof soul: happiness, , 95 . It’s me, 58 . isinHere it hercase that obvious the the lightthe whispers by me,butnot to 159 CEU eTD Collection 161 160 can it words, in other always de-creative, is not suffering that also shestates Steinhardt, soul”, “affliction is in fact a distance”, “a marvel of divine technique”. the into inertia of a poison inject “affliction soul”, whole the submerges horror of kind man”, “a a dead more than for absent atime,be absentto appear makesGod “affliction lessof more death”, or life, a equivalent is that“affliction of uprooting states an findhe to generally ameaning Weilit tries many of it.- , gives She ways of defining personalization. – de in this Christ follow to suffering byde-creative canarrive being a human same way, case.In the Christ’s is toexpress (Philippians,Cross” TheGreekhimself” “he 2,6-8). word words the humbled as man , he humbled form the himself andof madea servant, wasin thelikeness men.beingAndof found infashion and became be not robbery made equal But to ofnowith God. himself upon reputation,him and took obedient unto deathmind be in you which, was evenalso in Jesus Christ. Who,this “Let the beingPhilippians: into Paul the Saint of form death of Epistle in the God, thoughTestament New inthe itform simpler of the in a waspresent theorizes Weil which about de-creation the fact, In themselves. create bescandalous”. not should superiority this sothat necessary was Incarnation The his in divinity weobtain that order “Suffering: salvation: man superiority of over God. imitatinginfact is with Herenouncedto of interrelated concept de-creation, that Christ. Weil, Weil, ekenosen, She makes the difference between physical suffering and affliction andand, as suffering affliction thedifferenceShe makes betweenphysical – journal his in minimal is suffering the of theorization whose Steinhardt, Unlike The Passion of wouldChrist be model the beto followed by men in order to de- Waiting for God Graceand gravity which means “to become empty”, so to say, to renounce to the divinity in , 73 , 48 59 161 160 CEU eTD Collection 164 163 162 suffering”. condition we donotseekknowledgeis that init.seek It permissible that only in to soul is through lost seeking knowledge in Why?pleasure. is Pleasure perhaps innocent on Adam and Eve. The Sirens offered of serpentas sources The to knowledge. “Suffering enjoyment and knowledge offered knowledge Moreover,order. accepting it desiring and itto mean finding would also pleasureinit: Ulysses. These storiespain, teachas obedience that the to The pain initselfa is Everything insignificant. wasabout the recognition and desiredivine of order and, so to say, as a means Christ”. of name in the now, transformation of this about bring enteringFather, into God’s all nourishment. And of kind me let blind, beparalyzed, deaf, idiot, animbecile. an lack soul and body whose unfortunate the to food a as given and Christ, of substance the love for God - , may all be this wrenched from me, devoured by transformedGod, into her even intelligence her senses, her will, her meant she – this all “May that desires She Weil. of notebooks the of in one found prayer” terrible “ the called rightly biographer, and friend close her Petrement, Simone what of sense the is This suffering. of necessity creative suffering makes the soul arriving a to state of total renunciation and, moreover, a destruction withoutof ego, the soul’s the consent andcooperation. de- true However, “uselessbe and also, degrading”, quotes the verses of T. S. Elliot:interesting, “We must try to penetrateuses as sources the other firstprivate the worlds/ poetry, of in general the French one but not only. He Weil, Weil, Weil, To sum To sum up, herbasic would attitude bethat of accepting suffering,it. assuming In order to give a sense to the problem of suffering, Steinhardt, and that is very Gravity and grace Notebooks Waiting for God 164 , in Petrement, in , , , 145 Simone Weil – a life 162 infernal indeed when itis only a purely external 60 , 142 163 CEU eTD Collection 168 167 166 Kierkegaard” and Weil Simone “Dostoievski, with opinion same in the is he that states Steinhardt suppose that his divine nature was lost at that moment. would which before hisdeath of Christ exclamation strange this debateconcerning to the referring tothe problem of sins of man crucify Christ until the end of the world. Also Steinhardt quotes Simone Weil a hotel of in aroom incessantly and isrepeatedly killed kingwho an Incas depicts “La themort French Lerbaud,writer written deAtahualpa.” Here by Valery from a book opinion is also Steinhardt who makes a parallel between the Passion of Christ and a scene same the On days.” of end the until agony in be would “Christ that states who Bloy Leon law paradoxical of sufferingisChristianity the that springjoy”. of isattitude thatof accepting and assuming,important, and,very tobe conscious of “the very clear: theremocks the human being? – He states that, in principle, inis the text of the Bible all becomes no use to find Whyworld? many areso man mustthere why Why and diseases every die? devil the a rational Also,questions responding to as – Whymen suffer? Why ismuch so injusticeresponse in the life. human to approach Christian very the more, to suffer to learn to but them. suffering, own our The correct Christian 165 more” suffer to make believe and fear/ To rest in our own suffering/ is evasion of suffering./ We must try Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, T. S. Elliot, Arguing that Christ assumed entirely the suffering of human condition, human of suffering the entirely assumed Christ that Arguing Speaking about modelsChrist Speaking referssuffering, Weilfirst about of to andshe quotes Happiness Diary, Happiness Diary, Happiness Diary The Waste Land 168 165 . Like the two writers named before her, Weil thinks that “this marvel of . That is to say, Steinhardt claims, the aim is not that of remaining in remaining of that not is aim the claims, Steinhardt say, is to That . , 227 in Steinhardt, Eli, Eli lama sabahtani – O, God, whyme? Eli lamasabahtani–O,God, didyouabandon Eli, 53 256 The Happiness Diary 61 , 224 166 167 as - CEU eTD Collection 173 172 171 170 169 Crucifixion” the love, the nailsthe and spear”. of marks the bore of Christ body glorified when“the resurrection the is after fact verified considered to be “less a historical character than a figure of afigureChrist”. than of character be “lessahistorical to considered body of the Christ”. the that only madethings byhumans which havearrivedin heaven the are the wounds of self-humbleness. creation. In addition,resuming a series of interrogations,the in fact as Weil claims, he shows to Jobreaction the marvels of strange, is very friends his and Job between of controversy the Job after reaction God’s is one of recognizanceother of words,divine therewisdom is noandin it entirely,resolve not does suffering of problem tothe God logic answerthe of claim that response, at least from the rational human point of view. Earth. The “cipher of the book of Job” of book the of “cipher The Earth. he came to Job, and he will show him the beauty of the world. man,faith, willcometo as his God and seeinghispatience As assumea consequence, it. that suffering is, indeed, asmodel also In main love for God. authentic of big, her ideais accepting the fact that, the very reality of our story herJob inas manyconsideringof writings, a model it of of authentic suffering and world, man must, as Job, endure it and Steinhardt, Weil, Steinhardt, Weil, Weil, The second model by proposed suffering of Weil is figure biblical the of Job Steinhardt use the story of Job in order to justify the existence of suffering on Waiting for God Waiting for God Waiting for God The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary 171 170 , 70 , 72 , 73 169 That is to say, as Steinhardt claim “it is not without significance without is not “it claim as Steinhardt say, is to That was a real and authentic drama, both human and divine. This , 228 , 213 173 is contained in final.the As Weil, Steinhardt 62 172 She discussed the Shediscussed CEU eTD Collection 174 category of thinkers which cannotbe understood but after reading their entire work. is,indeed a provocation. As one of her Romanian translator used to say, she is part of that herphilosophy investigation whaton researcher,an matter time no for andpresent until so on. Aditionally, her work is really enormous as dimension and difficult to understand, which hercan influence thought the way we thinkaboutjustice, friendship, education and visibilitygreater firstfor originality the her andforof thinking potential the ways in Weil deserves inabout theworld. Simone Nevertheless, thought actual worldour or in effectedsome our eithermore change ashaving easily are de Beauvoir, recognized Simone Gandhi, Mahatma Camus, Albert example, For Weil. Simone is than audience area. cultural influenced European works their andhistorical how political century second, our and thesis will contain first an overview of how they were perceived in the intellectual area of makescomplexity of that to beunderstood.This their them thought difficultpart of the in becausethe of time is the history present popularity reduced,perhaps theirso on, and society, culture, way seeing God, theirof paradoxically, singular However, despite history intellectual century 20 inthe Steinhardt Nicolae and Weil Simone of place 4.3. The www.nistea.com Many of the Twentieth Century’s political thinkers are better known to culturalare,Weil indeed,intellectual figures and Steinhardt inmodern unique history of era. 63 174 th CEU eTD Collection 177 176 179 prize. Nobel accept the to inorder Stockholm to plane the Rebel of writer Weil century.Camushad the in Simone mind "thevery prototypeas of the life did notpositively influence his own and serve as a moral guide. of her thought the that hardly a day was there hersincesaid death that said that Gaulle classmate of Simone WeilSchumann, Maurice century. our of important thinkers number of great influenced a and subsequent foreign she said, simply interpreted, commented, ministercontested, condemned, loved, detested, mocked, of France under Charles de 178 175 me.'' avaguethreatto constitute absorb Icouldinto myattitude. reciprocating my her not and seemed this to universe, farfrom been me, would have had she met she though that, admiration; I knew with me filled these all courage sheer her and commitment, total her asceticism, reputation was big. Simone deBeauvoir wrote of Weil:"Herintelligence,Simone her exclaimed once XXIII, John tofuture the MauriceRoncalli, Angelo development. intellectual in their influences Schumann, "O yes, I loveimportant befound Weil amongmost the and John to VI, XXIII Paul successive Popes, this soul!" Even as a schoolchild, her our common life”. ideas idiom to “toconnect heruncommon and languageordinary intoan philosophical Albert Camus, Perrin, Thibon, Simone de Beauvoir, Gray, Simone Petrement, Both Albert Camus and André Gide referred to her as the most important spiritual The challenge of reading Simone Weil is to “translate” her, to transform her to transform her,Weil is to “translate” Simone of reading The challenge ”. 177 Simone Weil He states that he spent an hour of meditation in her Paris room before taking before room Paris her in meditation of hour an he spent that states He L’homme revolte Simone Weil as we knew her, , 229 175 Simone Weil – alife Weil Simone Memories of a Dutiful daughter After all, even herlife,during she wasdiscussed, denied, approved, (Paris:Gallimard, 1987), 78 179 , 256 45 64 in Gray, in Simone Weil 178 In the early 1960s two , 228 176 The CEU eTD Collection 185 184 183 182 181 180 power”. dynamic of history is not economic need, as Mark would have it,put but the very race for untilsubjugated endthe by of days of tyranny the a few asforherpeople, “thebasic doubt, any without be, will men age: modern the about pessimistic extremely herself by has inits leader. been proves example RussiatheworkingShealso class cheated own undermining notions for proletariatof the asanagent Marx’s changerevolutionary – critique of Marxism which postulates that the historical revelationsGod. of the 1930’s of manifesting an“almost protestantpride” were for refusing amediator between herself and of saints”. and their live. Thomas Elliotwrote, “Simone Weil possessed a kind of genius akin tothat century have the powerful influence to testified Simone Weil hadontheir that thinking roots alienation”. of age in an Saint as T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. Simone Weil, Simone Weil, Gray, Leslie Fielder, introduction to Weil, T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. In addition, other well-known literary and political figures of figures the twentieth and political literary well-known other In addition, Now, referring to her political work, two titles are very well known: 182 183 Simone Weil 185 (1942) 180 The American critic Leslie Fielder wrote that she “symbolized the Outsider the she “symbolized that wrote Leslie Fielder critic TheAmerican Oppression and liberty roots for need The and , 227 Opression andliberty The needforroots The needforroots (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952) 181 Waiting for God (London: Routledge group 1958) American lay theologian Doris Grumbach accused her (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xiii (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xii 184 65 (1934). The latter one it’s a very onelatter it’s avery powerful (1934).The , 5 The need for The need CEU eTD Collection deranged fantasies of deranged fantasies chauvinisticthe andaccused Peguy” Weilof a “captious, by only the it surpassed to nonsense as a“collection research referred egregious of . all schools into religion of reintroduction the demands she things other among – tendency religious pronounced a with era,impregnated in youth postwar of the of education she principles some last, enounces them in herown way:liberty, equality, honor, security, freedom of opinion and soon. At different kinds of “obligations” nations mustfulfill their towards citizen, andshe defines roots was a central cause need for human fulfill the to failure nations’ Western is the main thesis that War 2.Her of totalitarianismdead, in asthe her twentieth response to century.the of representative utopia Weil modernity. the infinished thebook 1942, ayear her before historical She most the of describesone crisis text, political important most her be to ofconsidered it as thedimension, themoment – that is to say, the World 186 moreanything valuable since Marx”. his introduction, “western henoted, social politicaland thoughthas produced not inCamusAlbert Gallimard. published 1940whenhe asan to herbook editor works In endthe which he set himself and the sequencemeans of suitable for attaining this end”. concerning judgment from man bea preliminary every proceeds action onewould whose and free butby thought action:and between absolutely the , a relationship satisfaction its 187 Weil, Albert Camus, Introduction to Weil, The former work, However, she was admired and contested for this work. For example an American example an For for this work. contested and admired she was However, For her, the concept of liberty defined conceptofliberty For her,the “ isnot desire by between a relationship Opression and liberty , 146 The needforroots, Oeuvres completes 187 66 is much moreis and complex extended as in Gray, Simone Weil , 81 186 CEU eTD Collection 191 190 189 188 new a introduce to but religion, new a found to not humans, us, to ideaJesusfreshnew, pointof Christianity a came the that view. Hekeptrepeating alive, by Mihail Constantineanu, who in studied his“Steinhardthaddetail all work: on his overview of political andcultural thought. appreciations ofhis his personality and will work be remembered,together with a general cultural ItalianHere,only Romanian for asFrench languages or example. the Nevertheless, area. cultural European in the known very not is generally culture Romanian as writer, French assembly”. legislative been and lost their capacity fordestroyed thought in lifethe of hustingsthe and the has leisure their before young the by be studied to ought which books those of “one as misinformed playing with Hinduism and comparative mythology”. however, not however, is, one this prisons, of communist convicts by the written testimonies the among his journal “aas unique by work hisand content style in Romanianthe culture”. happy,joyful all time and well – disposed…” image of Christ with the idea of nobility, aristocracy. He stated that our obligation is to be the ourprejudices. Heassociated of violate usout us,take us, scandalize us,trouble Arsavir Acterian, Mihail Constantineanu, T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. Kenneth Rexroth, Perhaps the most synthetic appreciation of the thought of is of Steinhardt expressed syntheticof thought Perhaps themostthe appreciation anydoesn’t reputation Nicolae the without of possess, Steinhardt doubt, the One of the most known Romanian literary critics, Arsavir Acterian appreciated just How I became Christian Twentieth century literary Criticism a document about the communistthe isina documentjournal factthe The about gulag. The Happiness Diary The Happiness 189 The literary Romania The needforroots (Bucharest: Ed. Harisma, 2001), 34 (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xiii , nr.3, 1988 67 was translated so far into a few foreign 190 in Gray, Simone Weil , 228 188 way of life Eliot appreciated it appreciated Eliot , in order to 191 Indeed, CEU eTD Collection 194 problem a existence the whosustains “Those states, HereSteinhardt model. Catholic two wars and the propose solutions of reforming of mosaic religious institutions after the incompatible neitherhis friend, Emanuel and ofJudaismNeuman contains a critique –considered asbeing with communism or withrealites juives (Illusions realities)and Jewish socialism - during the era between the the economy of that state. In fact the anti-Semitism is the first sign of social disorder”. pathological forms during the moments of decadence of a people and lead to the ruin of 193 Humanitas, 2006), 35 as beingVulcanescu named Steinhardt anhypocrite . Mircea As reaction, area. cultural of Romanian the generation” “The young called is partof what are All on. so these Emil and Cioran GeoBogza, Bogza, Eliade, Geo group are written of for essayscontemporary that parodying fellow his –Mircea writers justgaveAnthistius after Steinhardt his studies. inlegal ThevolumePhD isin facta aboutJudaism) Catholic Conception catholique deJudaism”(Essayona 192 Book ofCommunion . and tinerilor), genul generation”(In young the thought…of the “In Judaism, on essays count hundreds of books, articles,journals, movies and so on. in it literary quoted works history areligious,cultural,a conversion, The political one. of Mircea Vulcanescu, in George Ardeleanu, in George Vulcanescu, Mircea Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Nicolae Steinhardt and Emanuel Neuman, Emanuel and Steinhardt Nicolae “In the thought…of the young generation” young the thought…of the “In The best knownpolitical of Nicolaeworks are Steinhardt followings:the his andfor its seek In the thought… ofthe younggenerations The two essays on Judaism are “ solution are to be called anti-Semites. The anti-Semitism takes anti-Semitism The anti-Semites. be called areto Essays on Judaism (Eseuri despre iudaism) Nicolae Steinhardt and the paradoxes of theliberty 68 . They were written in collaboration with 193 194 (Bucharest: Ed. Humanitas, 2006) was written under the name of Essai sur une conception and (Bucharest: Ed. (Bucharest: Illusions et Illusions , 123 Jewish The 192 CEU eTD Collection joyful relativism”. joyful Romanian world situated form in fact“the from comedy this characters that the states basically He key. Christian under a theunder but century, confluence twentieth the of half first the from society Romanian the of portrait of Occident and sees the Orient, Steinhardt inwhich written by Caragiale a piece Herefers of theatre to letter.” the world of a among which there is a very interesting one – the longest –entitled “The secret of the lost 196 195 George Ardeleanu, George Steinhardt, Nicolae The bookofcommunion 196 NicolaeSteinhardt and the paradoxes of liberty, The book of communion (Cartea impartasirii) 195 is in fact an anthology of articles written by Steinhardt, 69 Cluj –Napoca: Ed.Apostrof,2004 351 CEU eTD Collection Univers ,2001) ,12 198 197 caused by by brought powerful the agitation Divinethe Grace”. myopen I heart. was trying elucidate, to pencilinthe my hand, acurious state of soul it:“Writinghimself myselfjournal, expressed a animperious Isubmitted to to desire testimonies, all of which unfold their tomentionletters, journals, justa few, ahugeNicolae wrote of Steinhardt, amount spiritual evolution.and Weil, Simone AsJacob, Max LeopoldGreen, Julien Claudel, Paul hand, Levaux, other the On Augustin. a convert, Saint of exception the with perhaps style- sober and concise very a in Christianity rhetorical maestro Aelius Aristide wrote testimonies on how the theyand turned Nola, of Paul their Saint attention Apuleius, to Apostle, the Paul hand, one the On phenomenon. frequent have avery become they times during our rare, elliptic and were very conversions Whereas about centuries the first of confessions the Christianity during the approaches one of the most terrible problems of the human lives, namely the suffering. consciousand become reflect to possibility the people Age give Modern of the conversions of ofexperience psychological exceptional the themselves.therefore, and, rare extremely is analysis phenomena of conversion.ThisNancy Gautier discusses the of origins autobiographicalthe genreinthe of contextthe Duringawakening the Antiquity the practice of introspectiontakes and5. Conclusion selfplace – in a very special way and Eugen Simion , Nancy Gautier in Ardeleanu, in Gautier Nancy Our century fullOur century literaryis, any confessions without doubt, and testimonies. of In her onconversion accounts in study “Autobiographical Roman Empire”, The fictional aspect of intimate journal(Fictiunea jurnalului intim) Nicolae Steinhardts and the paradoxes of liberty, 70 198 171 , (Bucharest: Ed. 197 CEU eTD Collection 199 Reading Happiness andretains everything. rapidity by electronic Hereads an enormous. is His knowledge it. do to time the hepossesses way in what that, do to succeeds he how biology, psychoanalysis, dodecaphonic music, abstract art, and so on. Icannotunderstand knows everything, heisin connection with everything: microphysics, cybernetics, information. He of of assimilation capacity amazes his mewith extraordinary “Steinhardt religious One hiswritings. of formerAlexandru fellow declared convict, Paleologu Christianthe writersorthodox did succeed inmeltingmany so cultural inreferences their special and unique is intellectual their formation.Looking atSteinhardt’s case, none of baptized one. a not though – Catholic a Weil and Orthodox Christian was Steinhardt confessions: However, religiosity. the of experiences and types different very two for stand theseintellectuals two the types claim is to them viewon of Asynthetic andinteresting. numerous are quite – presentthesis religiosity the of point key the – intellectuals converted of trajectories in their differences and do similarities the Moreover, not scarce. is history intellectual the of area this steam to contribution from theirthe act of conversion and the autobiographical impulse are intertwined. Research on their attachment to differentwaiting for me and, taking my hand,led me inside”. path of salvation. But by which,ifit, not beenI had led by force,ita supernatural would makeme erring from the I arrived to the Gates “Thisthat journal history by becamewritten ofmy spiritualday day adventure, the of the Church where somebody was Eugen Simion, An even better testimony in this sense is that of Pierre Van der Meer. He states VanderMeer. is Pierre of that sense in this testimony An even better The very The very ingredient makesthat them and theirway understandingof Godso where culture any sameareaof tothe belong,doubt, andWeil without Steinhardt The fictional aspect of intimate journal (Fictiunea jurnalului intim), 71 199 127 CEU eTD Collection 201 200 in our active is God which by acts common most is the suffering spirit: Christian totally This very experience of suffering leads them to the same conclusion that they express in a other. in the imposed externally and case in one self-imposed suffering: real with deal both they is that two the between similarity evident an Firstly, suffering. the assume and reason why she is not very popular in the French secularized cultural milieu. andWeil is monotonous, difficultread.This complex, sometimes isperhaps to one is vivid,engaging, readermanifestlet very ardent, hisliberty. Whereas the Steinhardt Gustave itThibon puts “she always be wanted to absentfrom her writing” As impersonal approach. andthe thepersonal concealing the self: expressing versus styles and writing andSteinhardt’s Weil’s between The main difference too. references, litterary ways of filtering includeunderstandnotebooks of writing. areamultitude her difficult However, to times at and complex very her of overview an give to culturein order made was selection This through in Iquoted that my is thesis reflecting of only “theoreticalthe part” her wayof thinking. the Christian metaphorsand many more. tales fairy biology, literature, music, – meanings- Christian extracts he is authors atheistic the way of Steinhardt’s findswritings of comments one profane poetry – evenfrom self-declared just other religious writing, Orthodox mentionwriters inspiration Romanian assources the of writers: and analysis saints, Fathers youDiary by becamestruck so much erudition.” of the desert, bishops, monks and so on. In Perrin, Thibon, Alexandru Paleologu, The other element that both connects and separates them is the way they theorize they way isthe them separates and connects both that element other The Weil follows a similar pattern with Steinhardt’s. The primary source of her work Simone Weil as we knew her The alchemy of existence , 213 (Bucharest: Ed.Humanitas, 2001), 145 72 200 Usually, in the area of religious 201 in order to in order CEU eTD Collection 205 204 203 202 authors the firstpart of thistwo First, answers the question. of approach comparative the very essence The facing? life are modern that dilemmas the to speak they do what extent life” is “suffering –as life and Christianity famous toparaphraseCeline’sof night”, the title. during this life. thesuffering experienced She andwanted totravel “untilwith it end the leastno not has end,at Weil’s case,suffering afterIn Luke The 25, 21). Gospel Lord”( the of joy the into “enter can soul the suffering, by purified being after words, other heal one “decided ofthisworld”.all usfrom dependence the to of say,isinsuffering.clean to That to order thesoulfrom its like impurities, Godacts in fact the suffering. From the moment ahuman soul turns God,to it enters under the seal is inleast God’s reward not at senseof reciprocation. from human his part, the a reward Steinhardt. givessuffering sense to though by itan toChrist,relating is thatattitude found also at this Earth”, which states thatman is called toparticipate to the “ abundant, enormous joy livingof on in life, spirit whichis joysan the contradiction true of Christianity, attitude this of with all the earthly the an assherefuses of to extreme this experience Weil’s casetakes lives. God’s God’s approval - toall vicissitudes of life,“the happiness becomes mandatory”. important thing here: big passingaperiodafter of by being suffering, after exposed – Feodor M. Dostoievski, M. Feodor Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Finally, one may wonder to what extentwhat twowaysof these may approaching Finally, to wonder one imply not does God of commandments the following that assume both Secondly, 202 The danger of confessing The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary not torefuse itbecause of a personal preference for poverty and pain.Weil Karamazoff brothers (FratiiKaramazof) , 234 156 , 145 73 205 – are compatible and, more to important, and, – arecompatible (Bucharest: Ed. Albatros, 1982), 267 203 Steinhardt adds a very adds a Steinhardt 204 In CEU eTD Collection 236 206 exclusively preoccupied withhimself, an egoist of piety”, is who hermit a be of seenas“that cannot however, attitude, Steinhardt’s monk. in her spiritual loneliness, whereas Steinhardt found it better to live the rest of his life as a perseverated Weil conversion, her After drew. they conclusions were the so and different were experiences religious their However, hisdetention. after especially moderate more in intransigence, Steinhardt’s perhaps case havegenius the and same same cultural the conscious of him, of his role on this earthly existence and on the eternal one. honest with himself willand with finally God, be ablebecome to self-conscious. Self being lifeof as and patience, perseveres inattention of innera componentand God quest In seeks for the this who meaning everyone sense, they ofsuffering after true converted. withoutsignificancehim is and privations not assumedaffliction.writers It thatboth the understandincapable thesuffering to way inanother being whichbrings something than man is mere Themodern of or ways exotic thinking. appearasabsurdities annihilation” “self- become nothing”, to ,“desire suffering” into the like “joy ideas existence, earthly inthe happiness resides true the that convince people to aretrying and publicity culture, from it. be detached to chose himand around world the understood aman who of as theattitude LeoBaeck, Secondly, in the contemporary societies, where the entire social discourse, media, entirediscourse, social the where societies, in contemporary Secondly, the Judaism and Christianity (Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society of America, 1958) of America, Society Publication Jewish The (Philadelphia: 74 206 but, ashe himself confessed, CEU eTD Collection of SimoneWeil (Marturisiri din mlastina disperarii) dinmlastina (Marturisiri 1988 New YorkPress, Publication Society ofAmerica, 1958 Ed. 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Sofia, 2001 Conversion – The Old and The New from in Religion The New and –TheOld Conversion Understanding conversion Understanding Conversion andTextConversion The varietiesreligiousexperiences of The provocationsofecumenism(Provocarile Simone Weil –a Simone life. The alchemy of existence (Alchimia existentei) Sisters in Arms – Catholic Nuns through – CatholicNuns inArms Sisters 77 Simone WeilSimone aswe knew her . London: University Press of . London: Oxford University London: . New York: StateUniversity . London: University Press . NewYork: , . CEU eTD Collection genul tinerilor ) genul tinerilor Ed Humanitas,Bucharest: 2006 Ed Symbol,1992 Buchaest: Napoca: Ed Dacia, 1992 marturisirii) Cluj 2004 Ed. Apostrof, – Napoca: Cluj Napoca:EdDacia, 1997 jurnalului intim) 1993 Press, University State University of New York Press, 1994 Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Eugen. Simion, Veto, Miklos. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Schmemann, Alexandre. Rambo, Lewis. . Cluj – Napoca: Ed Dacia, 1998 Bucharest: Ed.Humanitas, 1996 Ed.Humanitas, Bucharest: Bucharest: 2001 Ed Univers, Bucharest: The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil of Simone metaphysics The religious Understanding religious conversion religious Understanding The fictional aspect of intimate journal (Fictiunea journal ofintimate The fictionalaspect The Happiness Diary (Jurnalul fericirii) Diary Happiness The By giving you will gain (Daruind veidobandi) (Daruind willgain By givingyou The book of communion (Carteaimpartasirii) The bookofcommunion In the thoughts of…the young generation (In younggeneration of…the In thethoughts Essays on Judaism (Eseuri despre iudaism) despre on Judaism(Eseuri Essays The danger of confessing (Primejdia confessing of The danger Of Water and Spirit (Din Apa si dinDuh) (DinApa si Spirit and Of Water 78 . London: . London: Yale . Albany: . Cluj – . Cluj . . CEU eTD Collection 2001 1983 Gallimard, 1986 surnaturelle). Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Paris: 1950 Paris: Gallimard, The needforroots Gravity andGrace Waiting for God. Waiting for Oppression and liberty and Oppression Journal in the factory (Journal d’ousine) factory inthe Journal The supernatural knowledge (La connaissance The supernaturalknowledge 79 NewYork: sons, 1952 Putnam’s NewYork: CollinsBooks, Harper . London: Routledge Classics, 2001 . London: Routledge Classics, London: Routledge Group , London: Routledge . Paris: