Kosher for Passover
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Passover Song Parodies Took us out of the land So that we might be free. THE ORDER OF THE SEDER The fourth son may seem somewhat rough (Sung to the tune of "It's A Small World") Because he does not know enough To ask any question about what we know We wash our hands You must teach him each year And we bless the wine Til it's perfectly clear. Greens put in salt water Oh Oh Oh Dippings so fine Passover -- celebrate There's so much that we see Remembering our fate Celebrating we're free G-d did much for us It's our Pass-Over seder. When we were in Egypt (chorus) Freeing us from slavery It's our Pass-Over seder Now we all can see It's our Pass-Over seder G-d led us to be free. It's our Pass-Over seder It's our Passover seder. We break the matzah I WILLNOT LET THEM GO Four questions are asked (Sung to the tune of "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho") We tell the story About our past Oh no, Oh no The motzi we say I will not let them go Because that is the way I will not let the Jews go free Of our Pass-Over seder. Oh no, Oh no, Oh no. (chorus) Oh No, Oh no. It's our Pass-Over seder I will not let them go It's our Pass-Over seder Your people will not leave this land It's our Pass-Over seder Oh no, Oh no. It's our Passover seder. FROGS (the new version) AVADIM HAYINU (Sung to the tune of "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah") (Sung to the tune of "When you wish upon a star") Frogs on his nose now Avadim Ha yinu Frogs in his hair Atah B'Nai Chorim My oh my Avadim Hayi-e nu There were frogs everywhere. B'Nai Chorim Plenty of jumping We were slaves in Egypt once All round his bed But today, yes we are free Pharaoh was feeling We were slaves in Egypt once Frogs round his head. But now we're free. Mister bullfrog on his shoulder It's the truth It's frightnin' THE FOUR SONS All these plagues are knuckle whitenin'. (Sung to the tune of "Let's Go Fly a Kite") Frogs on his toes now What do you say There's a father with sons numbered four Terrible feeling, He explains the tale and the lore Terrible day. As he tries to relate A story that is great THROUGH THE RED SEA It's what G-d did for me (Sung to the tune of "Under the Sea") As he made us all free. Our people were running quickly Oh, Oh, Oh Not stopping to even bake. First, there's the son with smarts They dreamed about a new homeland He understands the part Not simply for their own sake. That he plays when we They saw what must lay before them Retell the story. The red sea, they could not pass. Tell him about the laws They all turned to look at Moses Don't give it any pause He needed to move quite fast. Oh, that's why he's astute. Through the red sea. The wicked one's son number two Through the red sea Asking what this all means to you Clearing a pathway Himself he excludes It was a great day You must answer the dude Take it from me. It's what G-d did for me Yes, a miracle this may be As he made us all free. You can tell from all the glee Oh Oh Oh Quickly they scampered The simple son he's not so keen Couldn't be hampered He asks what this all means Through the red sea. You must tell him plainly Egyptians followed behind them. That which happened And into the path they go. How G-d's mighty hand But no sooner were they in there 1 That G-d did close down the show. Just a Tad of Charoset Egyptians were not so lucky (Sung to the tune of "Just a Spoon Full of Sugar") They drowned on the water's floor Chorus: Such wonderful thing did happen Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down, What more could we ask G-d for? The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down. Under the sea Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down, Under the sea In the most disguising way. That's where Egyptians Oh, back in Egypt long ago, Are having conniptions The Jews were slaves under Pharoh. Now we are free. They sweat and toiled and labored Yes, it's a miracle that this may be through the day. You can tell from all the glee So when we gather pesach night, We were all saved there We do what we think right. That's why you should care Maror, we chew, ‘Bout the red sea. To feel what they went through. Chorus Our Passover Things So after years of slavery (Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The They saw no chance of being free. Sound of Music) Their suffering was the only life they knew. Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes But baby Moses grew up tall, Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes And said he'd save them all. Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that stings He did, and yet, These are a few of our Passover things. We swear we won't forget. Matzah and karpas and chopped up haroset That...... Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses Chorus Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings While the maror is being passed, These are a few of our Passover things. We all refill our water glass, Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs Preparing for the taste that turns us red. Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows Although maror seems full of minuses, Matzah balls floating and eggshell that clings It sure does clear our sinuses. These are a few of our Passover things. But what's to do? When the plagues strike It's hard to be a Jew!!! When the lice bite Chorus When we're feeling sad We simply remember our Passover things Same Time Next Year And then we don't feel so bad. (Sung to the tune of "Makin' Whoopee") Another pesach, another year, The family seder with near and dear... Our faces shining, There's No Seder Like our Seder All thoughts of dining (Sung to the tune of "There's no Business like Show Are put on hold now. Business") We hear four questions, There's no seder like our seder, The answer given There's no seder I know. Recalls the Jews from Egypt driven. Everything about it is halachic The chrain is bitter, (charoses better!) Nothing that the Torah won't allow. Please pass the matzoh. Listen how we read the whole Haggadah Why is this evening different It's all in Hebrew From all the other nights? 'Cause we know how. This year the Jews all over There's no Seder like our seder, Are free to perform the rites. We tell a tale that is swell: A gorgeous dinner--who can deny it-- Moses took the people out into the heat Won't make us thinner, to hell with diet! They baked the matzoh It's such great cooking... While on their feet and no one's looking, Now isn't that a story So just enjoy it. That just can't be beat? Moving along at steady clip Let's go on with the show! Elijah enters, and takes a sip; And then the singing with voices ringing Take Us Out of Egypt Our laughter mingling. (Sung to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game") When singing about Chad Gad Ya. Take us out of Egypt Watch close or your place you'll lose, Free us from slavery For Echad Mi Yodea: Bake us some Matzah in a haste Which tune shall we use? Don't worry 'bout flavor-- We pray next Pesach Give no thought to taste. We'll all be here. Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea It's a tradition... If we don't cross it's a shame Same time next year... For it's ten plagues, So fill it up now, the final cup now, Down and you're out Next year at ____________ At the Pesach history game. 2 Afikomen (Sung to the tune of "Oklahoma") My dear children, heed the lesson Aaaaa.......fikomen! what a very special Pesach treat. and remember evermore A dessert we share, we can't compare, So much joy from What the father told his children just a hunk of wheat! Told his sons that numbered four. Thaaaaaaa........t is why we hide it early on from everyone A custom that we get, from The Ballad of Mo Amramson Kosher chefs, to convince us eating Matzah's fun. On a (Sung to the tune of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett") shelf or hidden away Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Mo, Floor or His people they were slaves to the evil Pharoah, sofa, 'neath Uncle Sid's toupee. It's too much work, to Until one day he was lookin' at a bush, search for your And he heard the voice of G-d, though he wasn't a lush--- dessert Yes, I'm The LORD, that is, looking for Afikomen Afikomen, oy, vey, gevalt.....let's I AM, check the The Big G.