"Gonzales' Enchaladas", a Looney Tunes Story
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(Insert Looney Tunes opening theme) (Insert title theme from "Gonzales' Tamales") In a village in Meh-he-co, there lived a bunch of Mexican mice. However, all of the mice in the village have a problem. As we hear two mice, who are lounging up against a pillar, talk to each other. "Hey, Pedro?" One of the mice said. "What do you want to do?" "I dunno, Manuel." Pedro said. "What do you want to do?" "Oh… I dunno." Manuel replied. "Wanna go out weeth preety gurls?" "All the preety gurls in love weeth Speedy Gonzales." Pedro said. "Speedy Gonzales? The Fastest Mouse in all of Meh-he-co?" Manuel said. "That Speedy Gonzales?" "Sí. All the gurls are een love with heem." Manuel said. "All that is left are Chihuahuas." It was true that Speed Gonzales was a ladies man, in fact, he practically stole the hearts of many female mice around the village. "Why you not forget about this Speedy Gonzales fellow?" A mouse said to his girlfriend. "Seex yeears I courts you, eet ees time for ONE leetle keess, no?" The Mexican mouse girl giggled and said, "Sí. Cochita geeve you the keess." The mouse was thrilled that his girl was going to kiss him as he closed his eyes. But as he waited to receive his kiss, Speedy Gonzales was running through the village! "Arriba! Arriba! Ándale! Olé! AH-HAH! YAH-HA! " Speedy shouted as he sped through the village. Speedy suddenly stopped as he saw a girl. "" Speedy shouted as he ran towards the girl. But as the male mouse was about to kiss Cochita back, Speedy zipped right out in front of him and just kissed her instead. Speedy jumped in the air and ran off, leaving Cochita love struck… Cochita sighed romantically and said, said. "Speedy… he like me…" …but left the other male mouse, very grouchy. "Ooooh…. that Speedy…" The male mouse grumbled, as he shook a fist. "Someday…" In another part of the veelage, another male mouse was serenading a song to another female mouse on a balcony. The female mouse loved the song he was singing so much, that she dropped a flower down as a token for her love. But just as the mouse was about to catch it, Speedy sped by and caught the flower instead! Speedy stopped as he smelled the flower and said, "Gracias, señorita, mi'amor! Adios, hasta la vista! WEE-HEE! " The mouse drooped in sadness as he sadly walked away, mumbling about how Speedy stole his girl. The male mice couldn't take it anymore. They all grouped up together to try and do something about Speedy's antics with the girls. "We have got to do sometheeng about this Speedy Gonzales fellow." A mouse said, standing on top of a can. "He take away all our women!" Then he asked, "Anybody got it any ideas?" "What about the gringo pussygato?" One of the mice suggested. "Didn't we rely on heem to chase Speedy out of town?" "No, eet wouldn't work." Another mouse said. "Speedy chased heem out of town the last time we needed his help." "Well, what else can we do?" The mouse ringleader said. "We need to find a way to get Speedy away from all the girls." "Hey! Jose got eet, an idea." A small, but fat mouse said as he brought his friend, Jose, up. "Jose got eet an idea?" The mouse ringleader said, "Hey, fellas! Jose got eet an idea!" All the mice laughed at the fact that Jose wasn't smart enough to have any ideas. But Jose's friend wasn't laughing, he knew for a fact that Jose's idea could possibly work. "Don't laugh, señors." Jose's friend said. "I theenk Jose's might actually work this time." Then he turned to his friend, Jose. "Go ahead, Jose. Tell them." "Well, uh…" Jose said. "Me and Hervey just saw a beeg black gringo hedgehogo and a bat señorita in town. They are named Shadow and Rouge. I theenk they may be federal agents or sometheeng." "So?" The ringleader mouse said. "So why don't we get this gringo hedgehogo and the bat señorita to chase Speedy out of town?" "Hey… that's good idea!" The ringleader mouse said, figuring Jose's idea would work. "How you come up with that?" "Jose's brains are like gear wheels. They go… Cleeck, cleeck, cleeck." Jose said as he laughed. Meanwhile, at a Mexican Hotel, Shadow the Hedgehog and Rouge the Bat were resting on recliners by a pool. As they were resting, some of the Mexican Mice began to put Jose's idea into effect. One of the mice was carrying a brick while two other mice followed. "Ok, fellows." The ringleader mouse said. " You got the message tied to thee breeck?" "Sí." Jose and his friend said. "Alright, stand cleear." The ringleader mouse said as Jose and his friend gave him some room. Back on the other side of the wall, Shadow was resting when suddenly, a brick was thrown over the wall and conked off of Shadow's head, causing him to wake up. "Huh? What? What was that? Who threw that?" Shadow said, looking around to see what struck him on the head. Shadow then saw the brick that struck him on the head. But he also saw a piece of paper scrolled up and tied to the brick. Shadow took off the scroll off of the brick, unrolled it and began to read. Gringo Hedgehogo, Eef I see you around, I weell pull your tail out by eets roots ! -Speedy Gonzales "Pull my tail, huh?!" Shadow said, then deciding to wake up Rouge. "Come on, Rouge. We've got a rat to whack." "So a little mouse threatens you, and you're gonna take it personally?" Rouge joshed. "Read this." Shadow said, handing Rouge the message. Rouge got up from the lawn chair and read the message and chuckled. "Ain't that cute?" Rouge said, lifting her sunglasses. "A mouse is threatening you." "Well, when I find that little punk… " Shadow said, clenching his fist. "He's going to know the true meaning of the word 'threaten'." "Chillax, Shads." Rouge said. "It couldn't be that bad." Shadow then saw the Post Script of the message, which was referring to Rouge. "Then what does THIS tell you?" Shadow said, showing Rouge the post script. P.S. Your bat señorita is a FAT BAT . Rouge's calm and joshy attitude changed to that of an annoyed and irritated attitude. "Shadow? Are you going to go look for that mouse?" Rouge said. Shadow nodded. Rouge paused for a second and then said, "Lemme get dressed." Later on, when Rouge was dressed, she went with Shadow to look for Speedy Gonzales when they suddenly came across a mouse hole which had the words 'SPEEDY GONZALES' written over it. "Same name as the one on the message." Rouge said, checking the message. "This must be his little pad he calls home. Care to do the honors?" Shadow then bashed on the wall a few times and said, "Come outta there, you little punk! We wanna have a discussion with you!" Speedy sped out of his home and gazed up at Shadow and Rouge. "Hallo, Gringo Hedgehogos and Bat Señoritas." Speedy greeted. "So, you're gonna pull my tail out by the roots, huh?" Shadow said, as he turned around, bent over and lift up his tail. "Well, I've only got two words for you…. Try It." "And just for calling me a Fat Bat...." Rouge said, also "Let's see ya pull my tail out as well for laughs. Go on, ya little pack rat... Just try it! We double dare ya!" Speedy grabbed both of their tails as he looked up to them. "Are you sure?" Speedy said. "Quit talkin' and start yankin'!" Rouge spatted. "Ok." Speedy said, as he jumped in the air and started running. "OLÉ! OLÉ! AH- HAH!!!!!" Speedy ran off as he yanked both of Shadow and Rouge's tails off completely by their roots, leaving only bare naked bottoms. Then Speedy zipped right back while carrying Shadow and Rouge's tails. "Here are your tails, hedgehogos and bat señoritas." Speedy said as he dropped them to the ground. Shadow and Rouge attempted to stomp and pound Speedy, but forgetting that he was the fastest mouse in all of Mexico, he ran right back into his hole. "Alright, punk! You asked for it!" Shadow said as he picked up his tail and stomped off. "We'll be back!" "As soon we find some glue, you are gonna SO going to GET IT!" Rouge spatted as she picked up her tail and stomped off as well. Later on, when Shadow and Rouge got their tails back on, they were ready to take Speedy down. Shadow had already thought of a perfect way to get Speedy. Shadow and Rouge were hiding behind a big green trash bin as they were preparing the bait for Speedy. Rouge crept out from behind the trash bin as she placed a piece of cheese on the middle of the road and crept right back behind the trash bin. Then Shadow and Rouge waited to see if Speedy would come out. However, Speedy knew they were up to something. "*to audience* Eet looks like la gringo hedgehogos and la bat señoritas are trying to lure me with thees cheese." Speedy said, then called out to Shadow and Rouge. "Ok, señor hedgehog and bat señorita, I am luring ! ÁNDALE, EPA, EPA, ÁNDALE, EPA, YAH-HAH HA-HA-HA-OLÉ, ÁNDALE! Speedy dashed out of his hole as he made his way towards the cheese.