No 27 December 2020. The Virtual Wisdener

The Newsletter of the Wisden Collectors’ Club

ndia bowled out for 36…Just in case you have been West Indies and I swamped with non- related news over the England are past few days, and I have no idea what kind of news shortly off to Sri that could possibly have been - you may have missed Lanka. It is the fact that in the First Test at , Australia without doubt bowled India out for 36 in their second and that things will went on to win by nine . India had even change over the started the day in the relave calm of being 9-1 and coming months having an overall lead of 62. but we can see

Isn't it simply amazing that in nearly 150 years of Test daylight and let us not forget that. cricket that score was only the 7th lowest and I My girls are home for Christmas, so we are incredibly wonder if the New Zealand score of 26 back in 1955 fortunate, and Abbey has just come into my office and will ever be ‘beered’ - is ‘beered’ the right word? offered me a cup of coffee…she also saw me typing/ Surely ‘worsened’ would be more appropriate. wring this and suggested that I put some ‘nsel or

I have a suggeson, if I put together a team of Virtual something’ on the front page, because aer all, ‘it is Wisdener readers and write to the ECB to propose a Christmas.’ She is spot on, despite everything, it is one-off Test against England, it will be with the single Christmas. Many of you will not be seeing close aim of geng bowled out for less than family, many of you will not have seen your family for 26 and gain our righul place in the months and I know of at least half a record books…in fact we will bat first dozen customers who are sll waing and when England then declare at to hold new-born grandchildren. Abs 1425-1 (obviously I will take the only is right, this is a me when we are with a decepvely accurate supposed to celebrate, to be thankful that Burns thinks is a and to be together and many of us but it wont be because I wouldn’t can't do that, but we are nearly know how to bowl one of those), we through this, so as you can see I have will all leave the bar very slowly with the absolute added two Christmas images. So, blame Abs and if goal and geng back to the bar as sharpish as we Abs and Libs had their way, this newsleer would also can…so England might only need to schedule a day for come with a Top 100 Christmas Songs Play List! the Test…I have told you all previously, my markeng I hope that you all enjoy this edion of The Virtual ideas are so good that I am wasted….(pause for the Wisdener. I have tried to put as much a possible in - and if you receive it and it is half-decent, and wastes a A Lile Challenge few minutes in between being moved from one er to

Thank you all for sending in your respecve choices. In another then back again, then I will be pleased. This the next issue I will be lisng the shortlist for will be the last one before Christmas and I am hoping Team of The Year, 2020: Player of The Year and to get another out before the end of the year, but Favourite Match with so many pares planned and gallivanng (my I would be delighted if VW readers would send in their mum used to say that a lot) surely happening, who knows if I will have me. votes from the list. May I also thank Emily Bowe for another wonderful word to linger and a double meaning finally sinks in arcle (page 12) and David Hutchinson for pung with our readers)…doing other things. together most of the quiz, David has hinted that most The first fixtures have also been released for the answers can be found in ‘a Wisden somewhere.’ County season in 2021 and there is cricket going on To all, thank you and a very merry Christmas to each around the world - it seems New Zealand are having and every one of you. fun against Pakistan aer convincingly beang the Bill, Lorraine, Abs and Libs.

Congratulaons to Stephen Callaghan who when asked what would be ‘at the top of your shopping list for Christmas’ responded with: “For my son and I to go to Test, which we have done together, without fail, for 41 years.” Remarkable People by Dan Walker is on its way to Stephen.

1 The Batsman’s Holding The Bowler’s Willey

t seemed like a mis-match made in hell but a A memorial has been erected at the unmarked I bunch of village cricketers gave a good account of Godalming grave of Julius Caesar, who was a member themselves aer they took on the Oman naonal of the first overseas tour by an England team, to North side, who were preparing for the ICC Trophy. America in 1859. Oman were in Dublin for a series of warm-up matches The Wisden Cricketer, 2003. in June when members of North Crawley CC, a village club from Buckinghamshire, casually approached the “I welcome you all here to this famous ground with Omanis and asked them if they fancied a game. its memories of great cricketers. Great names played To the amazement of the village side, Oman agreed, here, such as , and Cliff Richard.” albeit with a few spulaons: the game would be The Mayor of Taunton Deane welcomes the Kenyan World played under ICC Trophy rules with 50 overs per side, Cup squad, 1999. fielding restricons, coloured clothing and white balls. Game on. Except for one snag. Being a lowly village “It got a bit rocky, Des, you know, elbows and heads, ouit. North Crawley do not possess any coloured but that’s boxing, that’s cricket.” clothing and had to borrow a garish green kit from the Frank Bruno Brish boxing Champion, talking to Des Lynam. Irish President’s XI before taking the field. “Baseball is to cricket what draughts is to chess.” A historic upset was on the cards when Oman were John Paul Gey, philanthropist and owner of Wisden, 1996 toering on 125 for 6, only for the World Cup hopefuls to recover to 276 for 6 from 50 overs. Fired up by a , , and well- earned curry during the break, North Crawley Gladstone Small put on their glad rags to aend the cruised to 102 for 1 before collapsing to 157 all out. suspiciously-tled horny@50 dinner in the Long Room North Crawley’s Mike Archer explains: “We were on at Lord’s. No keys were thrown onto the table though. our mid-season tour of Dublin when we saw Oman at It was all for a rhino-conservaon project. Over the same ground. One of the lads showed a bit of £20,000 was raised at the evening aucon. bravado and asked if they wanted a game. They were Daily Telegraph, 2001. asking what level we played at but when we said we played in the Four Counes League I think they A peon in Australia containing 74,029 signatures mistook us for a county team. was presented to the ACB. The peon called for the “We asked about a return fixture but were told in 90-year-old Sir to be selected to Oman we’d be playing on concrete pitches and in represent his country against England in the third Test temperatures of 40 degrees, which is a long way away of his adopted home town of Adelaide. The ‘Bring Back from Buckinghamshire!” ‘The Don” campaign wanted “to give Sir Donald one Oman’s crushing victory over their village opponents last opportunity to slay the Poms”, reminding the counted for lile as they finished a disappoinng ninth selectors that a score of 4 would give him a in the ICC Trophy, failing to qualify for the World Cup. Test average of 100. But they did at least enjoy an exhilarang final game, The Cricketer, November 1998. chasing down the USA’s massive 345 for 6 with five Somerset batsman Neil Edwards had his home balls to spare. vandalised by an irate husband who suspected him of

Research at the University of New South having an affair with his wife. John Mahews, 50, who School of Optometry suggested short sight might not had previously carried out construcon work at the be a disadvantage while bang. David Mann used a flat, let himself in, sawed the bed in half, poured machine to fire balls at batsmen wearing creosote over the furniture and blocked the toilets, contact lenses that blurred their vision and found they causing £9,000 worth of damage. Mahew’s admied performed as well as they normally did. He speculated criminal damage before Taunton magistrates and was that short-sightedness may compel batsmen to play ordered to do 160 hours unpaid work, and pay strokes later or concentrate harder to compensate for compensaon to Edward’s insurance company. poorer vision. Morning Herald, 2006. The European Union has ordered cricket clubs to offer helmets and pads to spectators sing in the first three A Rotura cricketer found himself at deep, deep, deep rows at all first-class and limited-overs matches in case fine leg aer the ground gave way beneath his feet and they are hit by the ball. ‘It seems a da idea to me,” trapped him in a hole filled with hot water. The remarked Worcestershire Chief Execuve Mark unnamed man, who was fielding in an inter-business Newton, “but its a direcve from the EU so we have to match in Kuirau Park, was treated for burns. The area is comply with it.” full of thermal springs. Worcester News, April 1st 2008. Rotorua Post, 2005.

2 The Cricketer - 1921

t must have been frustrang for the players! There The first edion of The Cricketer was published in 1921 I was no swi way they could repair England’s cricket and hopefully readers will enjoy a selecon of some of the reputaon, so low aer eight consecuve Test arcles in the first ever December issue of the famous defeats. For in December 1921 a new fixture list publicaon, this was inially compiled by Anthony decreed that England would not play Australia for Meredith. three years and there would be no home series unl 1924. Only a tour of offered any There were 3,000 enthusiasts lining the plaorm when immediate challenge. Yet this situaon, unthinkable to they arrived at Murray Bridge, . Aer a big modern planners, was greeted enthusiascally in some recepon the manager le for Sydney with Macartney, quarters. Oldfield and Bardsley. As they surveyed the sunlit New ‘It is necessary to lay stress on the welcome South Wales scenery they were in high spirits: ‘There recommendaon to MCC by the Advisory Commiee’, were the old gum trees in their nave state, and the commented the Westminster Gazee, ‘that a whole Christmas tree and the waving wale. Surely the train season shall intervene between the big cricket tours.’ service was infinitely slower than in other countries. Yet perhaps it was only our impaence. At last the er over 10 months abroad the triumphant train rushed into Sydney staon. It was Christmas A Australians finally reached home. In late morning, and we were home.’ December the SS Ascanius was now coasng serenely towards journey’s end. Port Adelaide, long since ack in England, where it was not so warm, The forgeul of its buffeng in the rough Antarcc seas. B Cricketer Winter Annual did its best to cheer up The cricketers, lining the rails, looked down on the its readers with a fanciful short story in which distant wharf thronged with people. On tour there had England won ! The prey heroine (‘slim, been new female admirers at every port of call, beauful’ Joyce Preedy, ‘a girl of 1921, as modern in adulaon they now took for granted. Even so, one her outlook as she was in her dress’) is trying to Australian was somewhat surprised by a young lady on reconcile her cricket-hang father to her fiancé. The the wharf who was wildly waving a handkerchief and father, who is Mayor of Lodbury, is unmoved: ‘He is a blowing kisses in his direcon. ‘Just my natural charm!’ cricketer - and a pro at that!’ He has no me for ‘a man he murmured to his companion. ‘Charm be Mowed,’ who can find no more worthy object in life than said his companion. ‘Don’t you recognise her? That’s playing cricket’. your wife!’ Anxious to see her husband again aer the Eventually Joyce cajoles her father into going to long separaon, she had travelled five hundred miles Melchester (where else?) to see the final Test. The to welcome him off the boat. Ashes are in the balance at two games all. It is, of Newsmen gathered round the party as they landed. course, Joyce’s young man, Peter Sinclair, who steers They knew that the irrepressible, indiscreet Warwick England to within sight of victory. At last England has Armstrong would make good copy! He grinned at them found an answer to (the thinly disguised) Gregory and knowingly. ‘There’s a lot I would like to say and a lot I Mailey. ‘For three hours past, a clean-limbed, well- am trying not to say!’ Of course he soon succumbed groomed man, whose bang was the epitome of and was cheerfully cricising the inadequacies of the athlec grace, had defied all the best bowling that touring arrangements in England. 'We travelled Australia could send down to him. He had taken ample thousands of miles unnecessarily. This was due to the toll from Geekie, the world’s fastest bowler, Millory, fact that the arrangements were put into wrong the gay googly-deceiver, and all the rest of that hands.’ He cited a week’s journey from to imposing talent.’ Twenty runs are wanted with one South Wales and back again to Lancashire. wicket le! Peter scores them, and not in singles. The Another to aract great aenon was fast bowler Ted Ashes are won with ‘a magnificent drive past cover’ to McDonald, who was thought to have signed a contract the delight of all, including Joyce’s father. We finally to play in England. More circumspect than his leave Melchester with Peter sll leaning on the handle he declined to say anything. He had in fact agreed to of his bat and modestly liing up his cap ‘again and play league cricket for Nelson and aer three more again to the thudding cheers.’ years would qualify for Lancashire. In making money This glorious English victory was certainly in keeping abroad from his talents McDonald was very much a with the spirit of Christmas, even if it did not quite man before his me. make up for all those defeats at the hands of Warwick At Adelaide the party split up. Manager Sydney. Smith Armstrong. Perhaps for some it revived memories of had a franc me persuading the Melbourne Express England’s Golden Age before the War; for others, to wait for some of the team’s luggage. He triumphed, maybe, down in Gloucestershire, of , a but found himself racing along the plaorm as the real Peter Sinclair in the making. train moved out. ‘Oldfield pulled my bag in one window and Ryder pulled me in through the other. ’ 3 Joseph Wells - Cricketer, father of H.G., By Diana Rait Kerr

N September 21st, 1866, at Atlas House, 47 High As many of you may know a few years ago I acquired the O Street, Bromley, Sarah, wife of Joseph Wells, full Wisden collecon of Diana Rait Kerr, who not only had shopkeeper and someme county cricketer, gave her own full set of almanacks but had many duplicates that birth to a son, to whom they gave the names Herbert her father had collected. George (H.G. Wells, Pictured, Below, Le). Already Her father, Rowan Scrope Kerr was MCC Secretary from they had two sons, and their eldest child, a daughter, 1936 to 1952 and aer the end of World War Two he lay buried in the nearby churchyard. They can hardly encouraged the employment of his daughter, Diana, as the have suspected that the new babe would grow up to Curator of the MCC library. be one of the most illustrious figures of his age, and it She was Curator unl 1968 and along the way she enjoyed was with mixed feelings that Joseph and his wife a successful wring career, contribung numerous arcles viewed the prospect of another mouth to feed. to publicaons such as Playfair Cricket Monthly and The Atlas House fell far short of Cricketer. In 1999 when MCC ‘eventually’ allowed female the grandiose promise of its members, she was one of the first to be invited to join. name: the ground floor the young gardener sat for him and figured in a picture housed the china and called The Maid and the Magpie, Joseph peeping at a hardware shop which was milkmaid through the entrance to the byre, with nominally their source of Penshurst Church in the background. But Mr Wells livelihood, and the family died, and his protege had to seek employment spent their days in the room elsewhere. Thus it was that Joseph Wells, gardener, behind or in the basement found his way to Up Park, near Midhurst, and became kitchen, whose only daylight acquainted with Sarah Neal, a ladies’ maid employed came through a grang in the to look aer the sister of the widowed mistress of the pavement outside. The decor house, Lady Featherston-Haugh, someme housemaid, was indubitably dingy, and whose bright eyes had beguiled Sir Harry into marrying the accumulated layers of peeling wallpaper provided her. Her elderly husband had been a close friend of the a splendid refuge for bugs, which Joseph aacked Prince Regent and he counted the beauful Emma, assiduously but ineffectually with paraffin, whose Lady Hamilton, among his conquests. aroma pervaded the bedrooms upstairs. Sarah, according to her son, was a lile blue-eyed, An outside closet in the yard at the back of the house pink-cheeked woman, with a large, serious, innocent drained into a cesspool situated inconveniently near face. She was born in 1822 to the ailing wife of a the well from which they drew their water. To Midhurst innkeeper. When she was 11, her father supplement the meagre profits from the shop, Joseph inherited a lile money, on the strength of which he filled one window with cricket bats, balls, leg guards sent her to a school for young ladies at Chichester, and gauntlets supplied by his cousin, John Duke, whose where she showed a remarkable aptude for learning family’s balls had long been famous, and in summer he and deepened a natural tendency for piety. Her earned more money as a cricket professional than he educaon was completed by four years' training for ever did in business. For Joseph Wells was not cut out the profession of ladies’ maid before being launched, for trade; he was a countryman, with the tastes and at the age of 18, into the world of valets, talents of the countryside. housekeepers, cooks and butlers in which she met her Joseph was born at Penshurst on July 14th, 1828, the future husband. youngest son of Joseph Wells senior, head gardener to It was in 1850 that she went to Up Park, a year before Lord de Lisle at Penshurst Place. They were a huge Joseph Wells arrived as gardener. ‘He seems peculiar .’ family of uncles and cousins, nearly all of the upper was her comment (wrien in her diary) aer their first servant, tenant farmer class, but the Duke cousins, encounter. with their ball factory, were always more prosperous than the rest. Young Joseph was passionately fond of In August 1853 Sarah’s father died suddenly, and her cricket, which he played in the meadows and, when he mother followed him to the grave in November. Hardly was old enough, with the Penshurst Club. more than a couple of weeks aerwards she married Joseph at St Stephen’s Church, Coleman Street, in the He followed in his father’s steps as a gardener and City of London. They had no home; Joseph wandered secured a post with another Joseph Wells—no relaon from one situaon to another and Sarah was only able —at Redleaf, Penshurst. Mr Wells seems to have taken to pay him brief visits. But in April 1854 he got a job a great fancy to his young namesake and encouraged with a coage at Shuckburgh Park in the Midlands, him to read, lending him books on botany and where they lived happily unl aer the birth of their gardening. He was also a keen patron of the arts and daughter in 1855. Sir Edwin Landseer was oen a guest at Redleaf, where

4 Then a bombshell fell: Joseph was given noce and the over). The scorecard read: young couple and their baby daughter were homeless. ‘J. Dean jnr. b Wells 4. For some reason Joseph could never hold his posions. S. Austen Leigh b Wells 0. H. G. suspected that this was more a queson of C. H. Ellis b Wells 0. intractability than lack of skill. R. Fillery b Wells 0. Certainly one who knew him in his Bromley days He finished the innings with 6 for 35, and although he described him as ‘dictatorial and overbearing; a man was demoted to first change in the second innings, he who had decided opinions and acted upon them and took the last three wickets for seven runs. He never overawed his wife’. But most accounts leave the again reached these heights; perhaps it was as Philip impression of a genial, gregarious man, impaent Norman said, that he was not really difficult to play perhaps - one can imagine the scene when a flock of and Willsher and others were already bowling sheep strayed into the shop and, bull-like, trampled on overarm. In his last matches for the county, late in the china pots - but not unaracve. The loss of his job 1862 and early in 1863, he hardly bowled and, as his made him restless, re-awakening youthful dreams of bang was never good, he can only have kept his emigraon, but such schemes were nipped in the bud place for his fielding at short slip (he kept wicket also by the imminent birth of his eldest son. Then, in the on occasion). autumn of 1855, a cousin, George Wells, offered him His enthusiasm for local matches was undiminished. the lease of his not very successful business in The Bromley Club’s ground was at the White Hart Bromley. So, with sinking heart and deep foreboding, Field, where Kent had played All England in the days of Sarah set up house, and Joseph sunk his savings in William Clarke; where Mynn and Felix had met at stock which was never to show a profit. Tentave single wicket and where John Lillywhite had been efforts in the first year or two to dispose of the groundsman. business came to nothing; they were imprisoned, for The landlord unl 1858 was William Pawley, whose they no longer had the means to move elsewhere. nephew Tom managed the 1911/12 M.C.C. team in Joseph at least had an outlet: Sarah’s diary contains Australia. Oen on summer aernoons the shop in the frequent references to him playing cricket, which he High Street would be shut, a noce in the window took up again gladly aer the years of cricket informing would-be customers that the proprietor was starvaon in the Midlands. In 1856 he and Richard gone to the cricket - back at 7. But in the autumn of Stubberfield revived the Bromley Club and, however 1877 his acve cricket career came to an abrupt end. Sarah might complain that his absences at cricket were On a Sunday morning he busied himself with what bad for business, his coaching engagements brought in passed for a garden in the back yard. On the wall of the useful money to keep the family in food and clothing. house he had grown, with some success, a grape vine, From 1857 to 1869 he was professional to the famous which was his pride and joy, and on this parcular amateur West Kent Club, once the Prince’s Plain Club, morning he had determined to prune its topmost whose history was wrien by Philip Norman— a shoots. Perched on a makeshi combinaon of ladder, banker who no doubt saw to it that the Club were table and kitchen steps, he lost his balance; the whole generous to their professional. Then from 1870 to contrapon collapsed and his family returned from 1872 he was with the Bickley Park Club and from 1873 church to find him prostrate, with a broken thigh bone to 1874 with Chislehurst. From 1873 to 1875 he was which le him permanently lame and unable to bowl. also coaching in the summer term at Norwich The family exchequer was seriously straitened, but in Grammar School, where he gave great sasfacon. 1880 Sarah was offered and accepted the post of Meanwhile, in May 1862, 34 years old and decidedly housekeeper to her former employer at Up Park, bald, he appeared at Kennington Oval for the Colts of leaving Joseph at the shop unl 1887.

Kent against the Colts of Surrey, and had a striking H. G. Wells has described a visit to his father at this success with nine Surrey wickets for 24. me, ‘camping very comfortably’ in the un-scrubbed

As a bowler he was fast round-arm, pitching the ball shabbiness of the house and cooking beer than poor well up with a slinging acon. His success with the Sarah. He had grown very lame and put on weight, but colts brought promoon to the county eleven; on June his face was rosy and fresh, and his photograph 23rd he played against Surrey at Canterbury and took 3 indicates a twinkle in the blue eyes. for 20 in their first innings and one of the only two Business was poor and confined to the sale of cricket wickets that fell in the second (Surrey had an easy gear, so that it was as profitable to wander along to the win). cricket ground as to stay in the shop. He had revived

Then, against Sussex at Thomas Box’s Ground, his early interest in books and he was now reading Brighton, he had his moment of supreme glory: widely, newspapers, periodicals and books from the opening the bowling with Willsher, he took four Literary Instute or picked up at sales. wickets with four successive balls (not in the same His was a mind of ‘unappeasable freshness’ and father

5 and son became excellent companions. They went on a ‘An elderly gentleman of disnguished manners. He pilgrimage to Penshurst and Joseph showed his son plays chess with considerable skill, draughts and whist where he had played cricket as a boy and discoursed —croquet he learnt rapidly...’ and a short lady of on the growing of cricket bat willows and the cra of pleasing demeanour’. ball making. He was back in his proper element and it In 1905 Sarah died, aer a fall from the effects of must have been an enormous relief when he put up which she never recovered. Joseph survived unl 1910. the shuers at Atlas House for the last me and moved On the morning of October 10th, he woke early and, to a coage at Nywoods, near Rogate, where Sarah’s from his bed, instructed the housekeeper in the art of salary was able to support him. making suet pudding. Then, aer reading the paper, he

She stayed on at Up Park unl 1893. By then H. G. was prepared to get up, but his heart failed and he earning enough to help his parents, and three years dropped dead as he got out of bed. He was 82 years later he took a prey lile house for them at Liss, old. Hampshire, where for the first me in their married life The life of Joseph Wells was in many ways a sad one, they were able to live in tolerable comfort, with their seeming, perhaps, to be fraught with disillusion and eldest son, Frank, who had a watchmaking business. failure. There were many like him, many cricketers who Joseph was now 69 (Pictured, were unsuccessful in business and found it hard to Le) and Sarah was five years earn a living once the season was done and the bats older. It is pleasant to picture and balls put away. Some grew morose; many took to this ageing couple, freed from drink, and a few, despairing, even took their own lives. care and able to enjoy the Joseph Wells kept his courage and the humour which country—Joseph definitely sent gusts of laughter through the shop, even when portly now, but sll able to go business was at its worst, and he culvated a lively for walks. In one of his mind so that, even if his intellect could not hope to illustrated leers to his second keep pace with that of his brilliant son, he was able, at brother, Freddie, in South least, to appreciate his brilliance. Africa, H. G. describes them :

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6 For The Shield

escribing a Sheffield Shield Back in December 1992 Gideon Haigh marked the D encounter between New South 100th anniversary of Australia’s Sheffield Shield with Wales and Tasmania three years ago, this arcle, first published in 1992. Haigh has oen the ABC's Jim Maxwell decided to tease referred to the Sheffield Shield as ‘the prize for the listeners with a cricket quiz. Imagining toughest of all domesc compeons.’ the bliss of amateur stascians, he posed: 'Name the player who's made a poulce for a game sll trussed in gentlemanly, his first-class debut this season but in amateur tradion. Even today it looks rich. In current three innings has yet to make a .' dollar terms £150 then is roughly $12,500 now: what His telephone, however, remained New Zealand and South Africa took home as losing silent, and he had his colleague repeat semifinalists in the last World Cup. the queson and contact number. And repeat it. And ACC Shield shaper was a Jewish goldsmith called Uri then repeat it again. Sombrely, Maxwell felt himself to Wanczewski, and by using 200oz of silver and 5oz of have located Australia's true Dead Heart. 'Someone gold he ensured there was absolutely no change from must be listening, I thought,' Maxwell remembered. the bankroll. Pour feet by 2'h, it features a silver 'But it went on ... there was not one call.' batsman and bowler dispung a gold ball above 16 No recent patron of the Shield, Australia's symbol of gold inscripon plates beneath a statue of 'Victory'. State crickeng supremacy, will blink. Shield audiences It was, as would say, 'all happening' in that call to mind Groucho Marx's only visit to Lord's many first Shield season of 1892-93. The third delivery in the years ago during a soggy university game. Able aer new compeon produced a wicket. The man who half-an-hour to espy only two distant companions in made the first run was later bowled by his rival captain the ground, Marx is said to have risen from his seat for 99. South Australia won the first match aer and called: 'Say! Why don't you two get together?' Just following on. over a million aended Australia's last 'normal' (World South Australia's George Giffen out-baed and out- Cup-less) summer: fewer than a fih were drawn to 30 bowled all comers as of habit, and in due course Shield games at a rate of 1400 a day. persuaded his home curator to let him sweep Adelaide Yet it's celebraon me! It's a century since the Oval's pitch as well. Even Western Australia Australian Cricket Council decreed that 'a shield be contributed (as a junior contestant confined to brief struck' from a £150 gratuity received six months before turkey shoots), although the single appearance of their from noble Lord Sheffield and competed for by the wicketkeeper Horace Wilson was as an-hero. Having colonies of NSW, Victoria and South Australia. knee-capped himself falling over on the ship to It was a quaint doness. And, even in an age in which Adelaide, Wilson had convalesced by standing (or night cricket was irrelevant because the sun never set leaning) as umpire in his team's match against South on the Empire, some of the antagonists at the meeng Australia. He then conceded 45 byes against Victoria, in Sydney on Sept 14, 1892 were less than sold, and before vanishing from view: no-one has eclipsed or fancied carving the cash three ways. But Federaon even aspires to eclipse his Australian record 100 years was in the air, and something like what economists call later. fiscal equalisaon prevailed. Why should South South Australia engloved a new keeper that summer, Australia take an equal cut at the expense of its bigger too: a 15-year-old, what's more. had me to brothers? recover from the indignity of his debut . The colonies had actually been looking for a trophy Victoria prevailed, although delays meant they could awhile, because a December 1880 endowment from a add only a putave plaque to their fruit-cup container Melbourne apothecary called D. Long & Co. had gone in Feb 1893. In fact they had actually lost the Shield to awry. It had conferred on clashes between Victoria and South Australia by the me Wanczewski delivered in NSW a Peckwith claret punchbowl with a dozen July 1894, and the first presentaon had to be goblets. As hideous as it sounds. The idea was that the squeezed into the half-me break in a Norwood-Port first colony to prevail thrice in succession would hold it Adelaide football match. forever: a task that took Victoria a ne nine days. The I dwell on that maiden season for no-one likes a wet colonies must either have been run by beer men or got blanket. But the Shield is set for a bleak birthday. Again wind of laboratory tests proving punch carcinogenic, it is to be crammed in the corner of a claustrophobic for they did not seek another. season that will deprive it of its best players. TV cover will remain the standard of a Pathe newsreel. You'll see What is oen overlooked today is that Lord Sheffield's recruing posters for the Freemasons before you see gi — provoked by his hosts' hospitality and experse an aempt to promote a Shield match. on an Australian tour he had organised in 1891 — was

7 It is not, fortunately, about to expire. As long as Test period of outrageous exigency. cricket remains, a domesc first-class cricket creche is The game in the Australian big top is under recession obligatory; even one losing between $1.5 million and threat, like any entertainment that does not offer a $2 million a year. As Australian Cricket Board chief variety of access points. Pursuit of low inflaon has David Richards told author Jack Egan in late 1989: slashed family incomes, but the cost of dragging the 'Sheffield Shield is a bit like research and development family to a big one-day fixture has spiralled. Why take from our point of view. Without it you wouldn't be the kids to the cricket, you can hear fathers muer, developing your players into the type of players who when for the same amount I can rent a fortnight of can play .' Nintendo games and sedate them for a week? It's also worth nong that, even at its lowest crowd The Shield exists, and it's very, very good. But how ebb, the Shield is not drawing many fewer than it was many witnessed South Australia's world-record victory in a trough 35- 40 years ago. Rain ruining a couple of march last season at Adelaide? Or the Waugh twins' MCG kaleidoslogs would affect the naonal seasonal 464 alliance at Perth the year before, in a game that turnsle more than melng the Shield. The 120,000 featured 180 boundaries? How come it is impossible to patronising a parcularly deserted season in 1981-82, promote what well-travelled Australian cricketers for instance, were only 5% fewer than in 1954- 55. believe to be the best first-class cricket compeon in Crowds have been desned to dwindle since 1969-70, the world? the last season Australia guested no touring side, and Australians have recently stumbled in the rush to buy the Shield's negligible crowd pull is actually almost a two familiar, decent, conservave State enterprises life-preserver. Having learned to live without the being privased: the Commonwealth Bank and the Shield, 'Cricket Inc' can live with it. NSW State Insurance Office. The Shield also has an As Richard Cashman pointed out in 1985 in his undersold edge that could just be seducve in a monograph on Shield crowds, the game's potenal decade that shapes as one of the New Cauon. It is audience in Australia is at its limit: 'The figures suggest one of the few worthwhile things you can enjoy for that most spectators will only aend a cricket ground pennies rather than pounds, and has a rich, engaging, for a certain number of days a season . . . defined by entertaining heritage. money and me constraints (or) the extent of their Jim Maxwell's story has a piquant twist that gives a commitment.' Lavished with 47 different cricket scent of the possibility, for in due course the other variees, watchers head for the tall light- towers and phone in his box rang. 'It was the ABC switchboard coloured motley that the ACB spruiks ceaselessly. ringing to say that they were geng complaints from a But maintaining the Shield as is dis-honours it. And for firm of architects in Paddington,' Maxwell recalled. a fracon of the internaonal cricket budget, there 'They were geng all these calls from people in could be reason to celebrate the compeon's Tasmania wanng to answer a cricket quiz.' centenary as an outrageously cheap entertainment in a

Thank you to all of you who have opened and read the Wisdener since the first virtual one was sent out back in April, thank you for telling me you haven’t minded me sending it, thank you to all of you who have sent me arcles, jokes, reminiscences, thank you for allowing my ramblings, thank you to every single one of you who have supported me during all this with your words of friendship and kindness and your constant trust in buying from me.

Aer a year like 2020, us Furmedges really cannot say THANK YOU enough.

May your Christmas be as special as it can be and let us all hope that 2021 brings us closer to all those we have missed so much during 2020.

A Very Merry Christmas and a Truly Happy New Year from the Furmedge Four.

8 BIGGEST QUIZ EVER

ENJOY!!!!! 28: Please name the three former Test Cricketers pictured 1: Which man played in 392 first class matches before he below. A: made his Test debut for the West Indies? 2: Who was the last man, over 40, to make his Test debut. 3: Who was the last man to take 4 wickets in 5 balls for England in a Test match? 4: Who was the last man to take 5 wickets in each innings of a Test match for Australia against England in Australia? 5: Which man had played 254 first class matches before he made his Test debut for New Zealand? 6: Which man with 20 has taken the most catches off his own bowling for England in Test matches? B: 7: Who was the last man apart from Herath or Muralitharan to take 10 wickets in a Test match for Sri Lanka? 8: Who was the last Englishman to take 500 wickets in List A one day games? 9: Who was the last wicket keeper to take 4 stumpings, in an innings, in a domesc one day game in England? 10: Who was the last wicket keeper to take 7 catches in an innings in a domesc one day game between 2 first class counes in England? 11: Who was the last man to score a century and take 5 C: wickets in an English domesc one day game? 12: Which man with 116 has played first class cricket on the most different grounds around the world? 13: Which man holds the record of the highest score by a No 11 batsman in a domesc one day game in England? 14:Who was the last man to take 8 wickets in an innings in a domesc one day game in England? 15: Who was the last man to take 6 catches in an innings in a

County Championship match (not wicket keeper)? 16: Who was the last man to take over 50 catches in a 29: Place in order - most down to least - who has played the season in the (not wicket keeper)? most Test matches, as of November 30th 2020, from the 17: Which ground has hosted the most World Cup matches? following list. YOU DO NOT need to list the number of 18: Who is the oldest man to play in a One Day Internaonal matches they played: - Brendan McCullum (New Zealand), for England? , (England), (Australia), AB de Villiers 19: is the oldest man to play for England in the (South Africa), Salem Malik (Pakistan), Sunil Gavaskar (India), World Cup but who is second on the list when he played his Carl Hooper (West Indies). last match in the tournament at the age 38 years 261 days? 30: The first official internaonal cricket match was held in 20: Two men have captained Australia in one game only in 1844, between which two countries?

World Cup matches. Who are they? Every single person who enters and gets more than 10 21: Which batsman scored the most runs in the 2020 Bob correct will receive a £10 Wisdenworld Gi Voucher. Willis Trophy?

22: Which former Lancashire player scored three half The winning entry will receive a £100 Wisdenworld Gi centuries in the 2020 Trophy in his first season Voucher and a 2021 Wisden Hardback or So Back. with his new county.? 23: Which two batsman scored the most fiies (5 each) Second Place will receive a 2021 Wisden Hardback or So without going on to score a century in the 2020 BW back Trophy? (If a 2021 has already purchased from Wisdenworld then a 24: Six half century’s were scored by England in the First Test full refund will be given). against the West Indies in June, name the players. Third prize will be a £25 Wisdenworld gi voucher. 25: Which is the only team in the history of first-class cricket If more than one person is ed for first, second or third then to score 1,000 runs in an innings twice? a name will be drawn out by Libby as that will be her one 26: List in order - most down to least - which state has won ‘family’ task over Christmas and new year.

the most Sheffield Shield Titles. YOU DO NOT need to

answer how many each has won. CLOSING DATE is Friday January 8th 2021. Please 27: Which player took the most wickets in the 2019 Cricket email or post all entries - Details are on page 11. World Cup? 9 A Thorny Affair

t is a belief in that 1999 was the 150th Lancashire fanac Colin Shindler looks back to the I anniversary of the first Roses match, two of which, arional Roses clashes of the 1920s. This arcle was they claim, were played in 1849. Both, remarkably, first published in 2000. were won by Yorkshire under the captaincy of the Mayor of Sheffield (history does not record if he wore because Cardus tells us that is how he spoke. Cardus his chain of office on the field of play). I say also tells us of a conversaon between Rhodes and “remarkably” because Lancashire as a county cricket Robinson inspecng a rain-affected wicket in Bradford. club was not formed unl 1864. This kind of knavery “Tek spin around four,” opines the old maestro Rhodes. is enrely typical of Yorkshire folk. “Nay Wilfred,” replies Robinson, shocked at his partner’s vagueness, “quarter past!” For Shakespeare the seeds of the Roses conflict were sewn in the Temple garden early in the 15th century. In That one is my favourite, but Act II scene IV of Henry IV Part One, the Duke of the stories are many and Somerset plucks a red rose from a nearby bush to legion. Emmo Robinson signify his support of the Lancastrian king. Richard (Pictured, Right) was never Plantagenet, with typical Yorkshire not to say remotely good enough to play Boycoan contrariness, decides that because he is for England but according to descended from an older son of Edward II and anyway, Cardus he epitomised the Henry IV had illegally usurped the throne from the spirit of his county. God murdered Richard II, his claim to the throne of England created him in the manner is the superior one. He promises no flashy stuff as a more tradionally reserved for future king, just a lot of hard gra and sound defensive Adam by scooping up the policies. nearest acre of Yorkshire soil at hand and breathing into it In somewhat heightened verse Richard of York saying, “Now, lad, tha’s called bemoans the vagaries of the selectors, who must, Emmo Robinson and tha’ can go on with t’ new ball since this was the age of the Divine Right of Kings, have at t’ pavilion end.” Robinson would carry the new ball included God. At least, from the Lancastrian in his hands between overs, handing it over to the perspecve, this lays to rest their tradional boast that other opening bowler with care as if delivering a God is a Yorkshireman. To indicate his own feelings priceless but fragile artefact, lest some ignorant novice about the Royal Selector and his support of Yorkshire, spoil it by it along the ground. the Earl of Warwick, presumably an ancestor of MJK Smith, plucks a white rose as he aligns himself with Robinson and Rhodes ran the Yorkshire team in the Richard Huon-Plantagenet, Duke of York. Twenes as a joint dictatorship. The captain, a pleasant individual called Major Lupton, was allowed to the The narrave of Shakespeare’s history plays was coin at the start of play; otherwise his funcon was mostly taken from Holinshed’s Chronicles. If only he purely ceremonial. On the final day of one match, had read Cardus. What a list of dramas personae we Yorkshire were progressing comfortably enough might then have had. The lordly Archie MacLaren and towards a declaraon when a wicket fell. Major Lupton Lord Hawke, the lyrical arst Reggie Spooner, the disappeared into the amateurs’ dressing-room to pad dashing romanc JT Tyldesley, the Honourable FS up. When he emerged he was greeted by Robinson Jackson and the imperturbable Herbert Sutcliffe would with the short statement, “I shouldn’t bother if I were obviously have spoken in glorious iambic pentameters. thee, Major. Wilfred’s declaring end of t’ next over.” The workaday professionals on the other hand, Harry Robinson and Rhodes had one of their finest hours at Makepeace and Ernest Tyldesley of Lancashire and the end of the August Bank Holiday Roses match in and Emmo Robinson of Yorkshire, 1922. In a low-scoring game Yorkshire had taken first- would have played the comedy parts innings points by a maer of four runs. and spoken in plain prose. How the Lancashire struggled to 135 in their second groundlings would have roared at the innings, leaving Yorkshire to score 132 to win. bon mots of those doughty old pros - Apart from Robinson and Rhodes only Percy “What we want in Yarksheer and Holmes had managed to get into double figures. Lankysheer matches is fair do’s - no At the start of the final over, to be delivered by umpires and fair chean’ all round.” Cec Parkin, Yorkshire needed five to win but had That, allegedly, was the voice of Roy only one wicket le. Kilner (Pictured, Right), the Yorkshire Parkin’s first four balls were played back to the allrounder who sadly died of a disease bowler by Rhodes, who had no interest in taking contracted on a tour of India in 1928. runs that would leave Abe Waddington, the No. We believe that is the way he spoke 11, to face Lancashire’s best bowler. The packed

10 crowd roared Parkin on for one last mighty effort. They everywhere; a pall of smoke between earth and sun. A roared too loud. The fih ball was a no-ball. Rhodes crowd mainly silent; hard hats or caps and scarves on could now win with one lusty immortal blow to the all sides. Harry Makepeace is facing Rhodes; old soldier . Did he try? Did he blazes. The fih against old soldier. Makepeace has only one purpose in legimate delivery was played immaculately back to life at the moment, and that is not to get out. And the bowler. The sixth produced one run to third man. Rhodes pitches a ball wide of the off stump - pitches it The match was drawn. The possibility of victory in a there so that Makepeace cannot score safely off it. Roses match was as naught compared with the Makepeace, mind you, is not going to put his bat calamity of defeat. Rhodes knew his duty anywhere near a ball if he can help it... Appeals for leg-

The two decades between the wars epitomised the before-wicket [are] the only signs of waking life for kind of arional cricket we Northerners conjure up hours. when we refer to the Roses matches. This was partly It is a more romanc descripon of the sort of cricket due to the quality of the two teams. In the 18 seasons which induced from one Lancastrian, frustrated by an from 1922 to 1939 Yorkshire won the Championship 11 interminable stonewalling display from Sutcliffe, the mes, Lancashire five. Only Nonghamshire in 1929 plainve cry, “’Erbert, coom on; what dost tha think thi and Derbyshire in 1936 halted this irresisble de of are, a bloody war memorial?”

Northern dominaon. Each Roses match was played Nevertheless, Roses matches were heightened as not just for local pride but also for vital points which drama because we, the spectators, felt that the players led to the belief that first-innings points in a drawn similarly cared more about beang Yorkshire than any game were almost as good as a victory. other county. Washbrook was compeve with

Those people who saw in such drawn games nothing Huon, Trueman with Statham, Maurice Leyland with but dull cricket (they invariably originated south of a Ernest Tyldesley. Rhodes desperately wanted line drawn across the country and passing through Makepeace’s wicket, Ted McDonald felt the same Sheffield) missed the point of Roses matches. Rumours about Sutcliffe and everyone wanted to get Huon abounded that no batsman should ever cut before out. lunch or drive before tea on the first day and that it Yorkshire were like your next-door neighbour, familiar would be beer all round if boundaries were and constantly irritang. Travelling across the Pennines eschewed altogether. for the Whitsunde match at Sheffield we found

It wasn’t that the batsmen couldn’t score quickly. Any ourselves in a weird land where everything was the bang order which included Paynter, Washbrook, same but everything was different. It was like going Tyldesley (E) and Hopwood on the one side and next door in a semi-detached house where every room Holmes, Sutcliffe, Leyland and Kilner on the other was was a confusing mirror image of your own. There were perfectly capable of scoring quickly. In Roses matches the mills and the factories and the ugly lile cricket the point was not geng out rather than scoring runs, ground perched precariously under the railway line frustrang the opposion rather than offering them from which steam belched every over. You recognised the slightest glimmer of an opening. In stascal Yorkshire people because they came from the same terms, between 1919 and 1939, Yorkshire scored their world but they spoke with a different accent, again at runs in the Roses matches at the deadly slow rate of the same me both familiar and odd.

2.45 runs per over; Lancashire managed 2.07. The rest of England was a different country altogether.

Cardus describes one such passage of play so It was prey in a way we didn’t recognise. Our definively that is is worth quong in full. countryside was stark in its grandeur. The south of

Imagine the scene: Bramall Lane. Factory chimneys England was where you went on your summer holiday.

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11 Clock Cricket - Cricket for Demena, by Emily Bowe

“I know the demena journey is not great, but I am delighted to include another arcle from Emily we must be able to do something along the way,” Bowe. Emily is a recent Edinburgh graduate and an aspiring sports journalist, who having found it difficult to he format of ‘Clock Cricket’ came to Richard Hill break into the industry, decided to set up shop herself. 6 T MBE over 50 years ago as a young kid who lived months ago, she launched with a disability but loved cricket. Richard has www.thelevelplayingfieldblog.wordpress.com spascity in his lower limbs and for the past 9 years, which is a plaorm that seeks to shed light on untold he has been a part-me wheelchair user. Due to his sporng stories that you may not come across in the disability, Richard had to come up with an alternave mainstream media. She’s hoping to expand this plaorm to ‘village green’ cricket with his local friends, when and is currently working on a podcast series all about an abrupt onset of extreme fague would restrict him ‘everyday’ women in sport.” from taking part. Please take a look as she has wrien some exceponal Much to his mother’s dismay, Richard’s living room saw arcles and in future Virtual Wisdeners’ we hope to be the first showing of including more from Emily. what would later were any care homes near where I lived. Turns out be coined as ‘Clock there’s 22,000 in the country, so I wasn’t short of Cricket’. Richard opons.” Richard made cold calls to local care homes and his brothers, in his area. all on their knees, Quantum Care, a would use those stone’s throw from small cricket bats Richard’s house got for signatures, or back to him and as Sir Geoffrey Boyco would say, “a sck of rhubarb”. simply said “let’s This innovave game would not be revisited for see what happens.” Richard, for another 45 years… Tables and chairs Richard’s father passed away last year aer having were pushed to the lived with the condion for 8 years. Richard’s first-hand side of the room and everyone sat in a circle, much like experience of sharing in the care of his father le him the set-up in Richard’s childhood living room. The with a mixture of emoons. “One emoon was anger game started with a tennis ball and a cricket bat, and about the whole situaon and his illness, but the over- one parcipant would do a throw down to another riding emoon was helplessness,” says Richard. who had the bat across the circle. Parcipants For families of those living with demena, this sense of themselves came up with the idea of hing targets to helplessness combined with the incurable nature of score points, and soon Richard came up with a scoring the illness is a difficult one to navigate. “For me, a good method. way to channel this helplessness was to find out as “Everybody bats for 8 balls, every me they hit the ball much as I could about demena.” they score 1 run. Every me they hit the wall, they

When vising his father in a care home in the later score 4, every me the ceiling is hit, it’s 6. The only stages of his life, Richard quickly realised that whilst no way to get out is being ,” says Richard. The game one can magically effect a cure, something more could quickly evolved a lile bit, with Richard deciding that be done to make those final days beer. “I saw this perhaps the tennis ball was a lile dangerous! On his scenario of a communal room with people literally normal ‘pop to the shops’ for bread, Richard came staring into space, like God’s waing room, and across a kid’s game with a cricket bat and balls in. “I’ll thought to myself there has to be more to life than have every set you have in the shop please,” said this.” Richard, and here signalled the birth of ‘Clock Cricket’ “I know the demena journey is not great, but we as we know it. must be able to do something along the way,” says Interest in Richard’s concept has completely exploded. Richard. It was this feeling that got Richard thinking He has since presented the game in all 27 of back to 45 years ago, playing his version of cricket in Quantum’s care homes, where they now even have a the house with his brothers. Richard realised that the virtual league table. For the past 6 years, 80 different concept could be used as a means of engaging older care homes in and around Herordshire have been people in the community. delivered sessions.

“I literally looked up on the internet to see if there “Prior to Covid, my diary was full – 3 sessions a day, 5

12 days a week,” said Richard. Richard has 6 coaches Richard was awarded an MBE last year, recognising his delivering sessions. Richard provides 6-hour workshops services to disability cricket over the past 25 years. In a for coaches or ‘acvators’, where they are delivered previous arcle, I spoke about the work Richard had “demena friends” training, a bit of medical done with English Counes and the ECB in promong background, as well as familiarising them with the and expanding various forms of disability cricket. rules and regulaons of the game. However, it is this work in local communies of which The immediate plan is to roll out Cambridgeshire and Richard feels most proud. Bedfordshire, but it is this simple set-up that means Just as cricket is a great space for ‘escape’ and peace of the now-trademarked ‘Clock Cricket’s potenal for mind in normal mes, for those living with demena, expansion is limitless. “My hope moving forward is just the noon is no different. Furthermore for dexterity, that Clock Cricket will become a product on its own,” partaking in some kind of physical acvity is invaluable. says Richard. “If people can throw down a , Bey can “In terms of its value, I’m not medically qualified, but maybe hold her everyone without exempon has commented that this hairbrush,” says is really good, it offers something,” says Richard. Richard. Richard’s theory for this? “We have people laugh. With demena, When people are involved, they laugh. Whatever it’s those living with the doing, it’s got to be doing something right.” condion are never going to get beer, Richard recently was asked to take ‘Clock Cricket’ up to but there are a new Abbeyfield care home in Batley in Yorkshire, as a invaluable things bit of a showcase. Unbeknownst to Richard, waing for that can be done to him were the BBC, ITV, The Cricketer, Yorkshire Cricket make the journey beer for the individual. For those and 40 people living with demena ready for a session. around the individual, the provision of such acvies “Rather ironically I had to think on my feet,” joked relieves slightly that sense of helplessness which can Richard. be so wearing when faced with demena. In many “A lady came and sat next to me, so I gave her a ball to ways, the acvity is equally as important for the carer, have a go but she didn’t want it,” says Richard. “My where they’re in a room with other people who really husband plays cricket,” she said, “yes he plays for our understand the necessity for respite and fun. local team and I do the teas you know. I’ve done it for Richard is yet to be convinced that they get quite the years.” The lady got fully involved in the game of Clock same reacon as music incites. However, he regales an Cricket. anecdote about a cricket session at a local community One of the members of staff came up to Richard later hall that he held. Finishing early, he jokingly asked if and said “that was Shirley and her husband actually anyone could play us a tune on the piano in the corner. died 30 years ago. Shirley has been with us for 3 Rather sheepishly, Brian, one of the parcipants living months and she barely ever comes out of her room. with demena got up and played an amazing classical She’s never engaged with anybody since I’ve been here piece. and this is the first me we’ve ever heard her speak.” “When you talk to older people, we take for granted, Much has that they’ve all lived lives and have different been experiences. That’s at the back of my mind all the made in me.” It’s important for us to not completely bow the media down to the horrible illness that is demena, despite of the the finality of it. From Richard’s living room, as a response young, disabled boy who just wanted to play cricket, to which a care home with ladies who once spent every music weekend preparing teas for the local cricket club, the power of sport is evident again. undoubtedly incites from those living with demena and I personally have seen this first hand. Therefore, I Emily Bowe asked Richard if it was a similar case with his cricket. “It www.thelevelplayingfieldblog.wordpress.com does in some, but what it does do is bring out a compeveness in people and an element of To find out more about 'Clock Cricket' or where it is naughness,” he says. The noon of hing a ball near you, do get in touch with Richard at indoors, hing the ceiling and the walls gives a sense [email protected]. of freedom and fun to those partaking, as well as Or for more informaon and support for families or providing an opportunity for people to talk about their friends of those living with demena, please visit crickeng or sporng days. hps://www.demenauk.org/

13 The Virtual Tea Interval

“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in three hours.” Trust me Rodney, This I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down in the street me next and hurt herself. At least I assume she was poor year…we’ll be because I didn’t find more than £3.50 in her wallet. vaccinated! Girl: "I'm sick and red of you pretending to be some ace detecve all the me. I think we should split up." Boyfriend -“Excellent idea. That way we can cover more ground."

I’m dang this wonderful girl and she has a twin. ‘BLOODY HELL People oen ask me how I can tell them apart – but it’s ALEXA…. easy, really. Jane likes to paint her fingernails and Tom I ordered Baby has a willie. Cheeses’ My parents have grown so fond of my girlfriend,

they’ve come to see her as their own kid.

Recently, my mum started to look out for a proper boyfriend for her.

On Christmas Day, my brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults, swearing and aacking everyone, I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again. I am SO GLAD we The Doctor looks seriously at Mr. Smith, "Mr. Smith, I'm have got a sorry to say this but you suffer from a very aggressive Vac Scene illness and there’s nothing we can do. You’ve only got this 10 to live." Christmas Mr. Smith is shocked, "What?! 10? What do you mean, 10? What 10? 10 months? Weeks?!” "9."

I don't know about you but I was pleased to hear that I got all senmental when I saw my husband looking at on the back of the Thursday evening ‘round of our marriage cerficate for half an hour. applause’ for all NHS and Key Workers, we are going to Then I found out he’s been looking for an expiry date. do the same for all delivery drivers such as Amazon, Hermes, Next etc and it is going to take place next It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems Wednesday someme between 9 and 5. very depressed by it. He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to connues, I’m going to have to let him in. start working at McDonalds. Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take What do you get when you cross-breed a cow and a a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road shark? next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his I don’t know, but I wouldn't enjoy milking it. cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplaon. If I got 50 pence for every me I failed a math exam, I’d have £6.30 now. His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap! man." The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years." Women usually claim childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives. Unl they start stepping on Andy, Phil, Pam, Aaron, Steve and Tony have a lot to Lego bricks approximately three years later. answer for - thank you for sending in your

Two snails are chang on the side of the road. “I’ll contribuons. have to cross,” says one. 14 Welsh Wizardry on Merseyside

lamorgan arrived at Aigburth, Liverpool, in the From the feedback received the series recently G mid-July of 1960 having lost six matches out of featured in The Virtual Wisdener on matches that nine and failing to win the remaining three. were completed in One Day was appreciated. The Lancashire were lying second in the table with a very writer Basil Easterbrook wrote extensively on good chance of stopping another championship by characters and matches, and here I am delighted to their closest and fiercest rivals Yorkshire. If ever there include an arcle originally published in 1961 from a was a sure thing in cricket this looked to be it. series entled Untold and Forgoen stories of cricket.

The Welsh County were led in this match by Don deep square leg hit one stump a glancing blow a split Shepherd (Pictured, Below, Le) their gied bowler of second before Ward grounded his bat. off-breaks and cuers, Wilf Wooller having le the off- breaks team at Bath to aend a Addional burden meeng of Test selectors in London. Hedges now took upon himself the addional burden

On this storm-damaged ground of trying to shield the tail. His anxiety to get Brian Lancashire had been whipped out Evans away from the bowling caused him to pick the for 48 by Derbyshire the previous wrong ball to aempt a forcing strike off Collins. It day and it soon became doubul if bowled him off stump to bring his innings to an end who baed first, were aer 3 hours 20 minutes, 17 runs short of a century going to make as many as that. and Glamorgan were all out for 158. It must have been Twelve for one, 12 for two, 13 for a great disappointment to Hedges, who hit 13 three, 17 for four, 25 for five. boundaries, that he was unable to set the three figure Memories were recalled of a Welsh seal upon the greatest innings of his life, but those debacle in 1924 when on this same ground Glamorgan who were privileged to watch it will not forget it. Born had been put out for 22, the lowest score in their first- amid disaster and disintegraon, it reached the class history. heights in determinaon and technical skill. Wrong decision Its effect on the Glamorgan team could be seen in the half hour they had to aack Lancashire. They rushed It seemed that Shepherd on winning the toss had to get their overs in and there was that air of everyone made the wrong decision. The last hope of the team on their toes that for so many years was the hallmark staying together as it stood at that moment just past of the Welsh in their matches. They had their reward the halfway mark of the season had disappeared in 35 by picking up the important wicket off Geoff Pullar terrible minutes aer the effect of the roller had worn before the close. off. But cricket is always a game liable to make nonsense of what appears to be logical progression. If Hedges played the finest innings of his life on the And then again, some things in life seem pre-desned. Saturday, acng-captain, Don Shepherd, certainly gave In his 17 years as a county player Bernard Hedges one of the best bowling performances of his on the (Pictured, Below, Centre) has never played a finer Monday. innings than the 83 he now proceeded to take off For two hours he toiled rewardless from the Mersey and Co. All round end of Aigburth to let Brian Evans plug away me people were saying Lancashire on the worn patch from the pavilion end. would be bang before lunch Evans claimed three for 22 but aer 90 with four points to close the gap minutes he needed a breather. Glamorgan between Yorkshire the leaders in possessed no second seamer or the bag by tea me. penetraon. How would Shepherd solve the In the event Lancashire did not go problem? to the unl half an hour He took 25 minutes rest and then came before the close. A short but back at the other end to bowl for the severe storm wiped out 95 remaining 80 minutes the home innings minutes playing me just aer Don Ward joined lasted. In his last nine overs he took five for 18, the Hedges in what was to prove a great century stand for first four clean bowled. Lancashire gained first innings the sixth wicket. Ward played his part superbly, but lead but it was only a nominal one of eight runs. Hedges was the man in charge, the man of stature Bang a second me Glamorgan lost four good upon whom the events of the day hinged. wickets, but they ended the day 81 runs ahead and on The pair put on exactly 100 before being parted. Ward a rain damaged pitch with the threat from the weather called for a second run which looked as safe as houses as great as ever Lancashire’s task in bang last would but Bond picking up and throwing in on the turn from not be a pleasant one.

15 For two days this had been a great game of cricket but off a towering hit by when I looked out of my hotel bedroom window it Marner. seemed impossible that another ball would be Struck back bowled. The streets were running with water, the rain was teeming down and the sky was so dark that shops Two overs aer his and cars had their lights on. thrashing, Walker struck back by having Grieves The Glamorgan players who stayed at the Speke caught at the wicket. Airport Hotel (it took guests in those days) two miles Lancashire sent in Statham from the ground had packed by breakfast me to have a swing. He swung resigned to an early start back to Cardiff. The rain beat all right. A skier two balls against the dining room windows as they sat, a later was held by Pressdee subdued party, having their breakfast. When they got running from mid-wicket to the ground they found to their astonishment that to mid-on. It was 108 for the wicket and ouield were drier than at any previous six, but sll Lancashire me in the match. The Lancashire players arriving kept throwing their bats at the ball. The score reached from were equally amazed. They reported 121 and Peter Walker again took a hand in the drama rain all the way. with two wickets in an over. Ward threw the ball in to Glamorgan connued their second innings and it the bowler from deep mid-wicket as Bond and Clayton rapidly became apparent that it was a spinner’s were going for a third run. Walker and Bond flung wicket. Statham (Pictured, Above, Right) quickly came themselves at the wicket together like runners going off and the Welsh batsmen began duelling with for the tape. Greenhough, Collins and Barber. Pressdee and Ward Walker’s throw broke the wicket with Bond a foot from were soon gone and the score stood at 106 for six. the line. Next ball Clayton drove high, back over the Then Alan Watkins, ex-England all-rounder now in his bowler’s head, to be caught in front of the pavilion last days as a first-class cricketer plagued by asthma, sight screen by Hedges. Lancashire’s chance was gone. took the brunt of the aack. He took out his bat for They were 121 for eight—70 runs away from victory 66. At lunch, one Glamorgan wicket sll stood and with only two wickets le and 55 minutes to go. Shepherd delayed his declaraon unl one delivery had been bowled aer the interval in order to lop a Shepherd rang the changes with his bowling. For the further ten minutes off Lancashire’s bang me. first me in the innings McConnon came on and with three minutes of normal me le he beat and bowled Sound reasoning Dyson as he pushed forward. So play went into the It was sound reasoning, for Lancashire had to go for a extra half hour with Higgs and Greenhough making no win if they hoped to catch Yorkshire. Their target was aempt to do anything but offer a dead bat to the ball. 191 in 145 minutes, a rate of just over 82 runs an hour. Seventeen minutes of the extra period le and Ward Lancashire went bald headed for the runs from the switched ends to bowl in place of McConnon. Higgs start. The first of this was that Barber dragged a cocked up his second ball just enough for McConnon ball into his stumps with only 12 on the board. Collins, at silly mid-off to dive forward and snatch the all the normal No. 7 and a big hier, came in next. He and important catch an inch off the ground. Pullar took the score to 59 but then Shepherd bowled As the players ran up the pavilion steps a raging storm his slower ball and Collins pushed it into the hands of broke over Aigburth. Don Shepherd smiling his Walker at forward short leg. Pullar collected 39 easily happiness said, ‘All the lads gave me everything they enough, but then hit a sharp return catch to Walker at had all the way. I am terribly proud of them.’ 73. Then came their reward. Shepherd put in a trunk call In Walker’s next over, 21 runs were scored, 17 by the to the Glamorgan offices in Cardiff. Australian Ken Grieves (Pictured, Below, Le), At this point it was anyone's He beckoned to me to come over and stand by his match—Lancashire were side. The ’phone at the Cardiff end was lied from its 96 for three with 75 cradle. ‘I’ve got some news you might like to hear,’ he minutes and seven wickets said. ‘We’ve just beaten Lancashire by 50 runs.’ to get 95 runs. Then, from ‘And I’ve got some news for you,’ replied a well-known the first ball of the next voice at the other end. ‘We’ve dropped six of the team over. Hedges held a for tomorrow’s match.’ perfectly judged catch on Yes, some things are pre-desned right enough. the square-leg boundary in front of the scoreboard Basil Easterbrook

16 The - A Contemporary Report

he most remarkable Test match climax of all me Sixty years ago the first ever Tied Test Match was played T produced a e to the first Test match between out between Australia and the West Indies in Brisbane. It Australia and West Indies here. There could not have began on December 9th 1960 and reached its historic been a more fing result to a wonderful game of conclusion on the 14th. The Virtual Wisdener is grateful to cricket with accent on good aggressive play from first Pete Appleton who sent us a contemporary report of the to last. As Australia’s captain, match wrien by journalist Ron Roberts. First produced in (Pictured, Below, Le) , said aerwards, ‘ Even aer it the Age, it was then reproduced and amended for Roberts’ seemed Australia must have been beaten, and then book, The Fight For The Ashes, 1961 (even though the rallied to a point from which it seemed we should book did not focus on the A v WI series). win, I felt it was a pity that either side should lose This is the first part of the arcle. this match; and the result is good for cricket.’ subsequent events. It has certainly provided a tremendous li to the series, but more than that, it Meckiff pulled the sixth ball high towards the square- has ignited a torch of hope leg boundary with Hunte hot in pursuit. The batsmen for Test cricket the world ran two and went through for a third that would have over. England can feel proud given the match to Australia. Hunte’s return, however, to have given the game of came fast and true to Alexander and Grout’s headlong cricket to the world. But if dive could not finish the match.

this is the way two of the So the scores were level with two balls le. Kline, who Commonwealth countries had been unable to field in the morning because of can play an internaonal throat trouble, now came to the wicket. Time had match we should, with no already been exceeded, but, of course, the final over loss of that pride, heed the had to be completed. Kline, a le-hander, turned his bounful lessons that were first ball to mid-wicket. Meckiff came charging down provided at Brisbane. Even without its astonishing the pitch again on the franc winning errand and glory climax, which would have defied the wit of the most be, lile Solomon again fielded cleanly and threw imaginave Hollywood film director, it was a fine game down the stumps direct. He had to hit them as throughout, played in a spirit of challenge and of Alexander had no me to get up to them himself, and goodwill with no display of rancour at any stage by hit them he did. Australia had lost their last two either side at the strange ebb and flow of events. I felt wickets going for the winning run. privileged as an onlooker to have been present. The West Indians pranced to a joyful calypso beat as As for that palpitang finish, Australia, needing 233 to they le the field, sll not knowing whether they had win in 310 minutes, lost six men for 92. Then their won or ed, but conscious only of an epic match great all-rounders Davidson and Benaud added 134 for saved. the seventh wicket in even me. With only seven runs needed for victory and about as many minutes le Their oen cricised fielding saved them in the end, Benaud called Davidson for a sharp single to mid- and for that Alexander generously praised the man wicket. Solomon threw down the wicket with Davidson who had deposed him as captain, scrambling unsuccessfully to make his ground. (Pictured, Below, Right) - ’It was Frank who pulled us through, constantly steadying us and urging us to keep Hall began what was obviously the last over with cool ’. Australia needing six to win. Grout swung at and Yet in the press box strong missed the first ball and it dropped off the pad at his men, heroes themselves of feet. The batsmen scrambled through for a leg-bye. countless Tests, had been Benaud went to hook the next and was caught at the unable to do that, instead wicket. Six balls le and four to win with two wickets jumping to their feet and to fall. Meckiff played his first ball firmly and ran a shoung themselves hoarse dramac bye off the next. as the game surged towards

Four balls le and four to win. Grout swung and the its ‘ believe it or not ’ ball went high on the on-side. Hall himself claimed the conclusion. In the pavilion chance and dropped it, whereas others in the vicinity aerwards the players could have made the catch a simple maer. But who deliriously embraced each could blame the Herculean Hall for wanng to other while Sir Donald complete the for himself and who could Bradman said, ‘ This was the blame West Indies for errac fielding in the light of greatest Test of all me ’.

17 The fun had returned to big cricket with the teams too play resume on me next day. They have never had excited to nurse regrets on so narrowly missing the beer entertainment, however, and certainly never as winning chance. While Worrell joked with the umpires, good a day’s cricket since the war as West Indies raced mockingly telling them they should have signalled ‘ to 272 by tea-me. one short ’ for Meckiff’s two in the final over, Mackay But to begin at the beginning. In the pre-match congratulated the special hero in a match of heroes, predicons, both captains, Benaud and Worrell, lile unassuming Joe Solomon. ‘ Well thrown, Joe said promised to do their best to provide aracve cricket. Mackay, adding with a twinkle in the eye, ‘but I Worrell said he wanted a good game ‘ win, lose or thought your acon a bit suspect’. That was the sort of draw ’, and added that - ‘the boys intend to bat as spirit that prevailed right through. brightly as usually, but for a lile longer ’.

The one unhappy aspect on this historic occasion was The pitch promised to be firm and true at first, its easy the smallness of the crowd, but those there made pace giving way to increasing spin from the third day. their voices felt far and wide—as indeed one hopes West Indies accordingly omied Watson (who in the the sequence of events had done —and they will have shock-bowling partnership against England took 16 something to tell their grandchildren about—if they wickets to Hall’s 22) and relied largely on the spinners, are prepared to believe it. with an extra batsman squeezed in. The young le- hander, Peter Lashley (Pictured, Below, Right), got that Australia v West Indies: First Test - Brisbane place, ahead of Nurse, probably on account of surer Day One - December 9 1960. fielding. Cammie Smith, a batsman cast in the Barne- On the first day of their series in Australia, West Indies Gimble mould, was, like Lashley, chosen for his first won a famous victory. It was a victory not so much Test, moreover as first wicket partner for Hunte. over the Australian bowlers - indeed, the closing score Australia chose from 12 and I thought Marn unlucky of 359 for seven le the game nicely open - but over to be consigned to the role of drink waiter and thus scepcism that Test cricket could no longer entertain miss his first cap. His the modern public. And that, one feels, was the more bowling had looked more important, especially when it occurred at the penetrave than that of Woolloongabba (Aborigine for ‘ Scentle Wale’) his le-arm googly rival, ground, Brisbane. The ’Gabba’ has borne silent Kline, in previous games. witness - although its occupants have not been so Australia, however, silent - to some tedious and oen tardy big cricket in appeared to have a recent years. beaufully balanced side, When the last Springboks were in Australia some years deep in bang, sharp in ago and skipper was conferring with the field and varied in his deputy, Jackie McGlew, upon a bowling change in bowling. They looked the aempt to dislodge a parcularly scky clear favourites. Winning partnership, a voice from the outer rang out ‘ Put on the toss, however, was Johnny Ray (an American “ sob ” crooner then touring important and in calling correctly Worrell helped to Australia) and we can all have a good cry ’. adjust the balance. Two years later, shook every one by Yet the formidable combinaon of Alan Davidson hing the first six of a series. It was off a no-ball but (Pictured, Below, Centre) and Richie Benaud won the good enough to win a prize of £100. The phenomenon early honours in the face of West Indies’ brilliant but duly recorded, Test cricket conformed indiscreet opening. Although they scored 65 off to a more decorous paern in 1958-59 the first 11 overs, West Indies also lost three when England on the first day scored wickets, all to Davidson backed by astute 142 in five hours. Apart from a captaincy. sparkling innings by O’Neill, that game Davidson cleverly exploited a green patch on went slower and slower. Bailey the wicket, just short of a length around the struggled before lunch one day to line of the off stump. Benaud quickly reach double figures, and Burke the recognised that the new ball was not swinging next day to arrive at a similar so he pulled away Davidson’s three leg slips desnaon. and stretched a cordon of seven from Yes, they have become hardened to wicketkeeper to gulley. One could imagine him strange events at the ’Gabba even to sidling up to Davidson and advising ‘ Bowl at seeing the stumps float down to the the off stump, Davo, and let them chase it ’. pickets during a tropical flood, and

18 Anyway, Davidson did just that, oen worrying the own bowling, while fielders of the skill of Harvey and batsmen when the ball jumped off the grassy patch. O'Neill were wringing their hands, sped to his century And three mes in his first six overs he found a telling in two hours. The new ball was due in mid-aernoon edge, as West Indies failed to resist their inclinaon to and Benaud claimed it at once. flash. In contrast, Meckiff was pedestrian. Perhaps it Within a few overs, as Davidson ruefully examined it, was because Davidson was bowling towards the the voice of Bill O’Reilly, almost exultant at this red- livelier end, but Meckiff appeared yards slower, was blooded acvity, exclaimed ‘ The only paint le on that far less accurate, and had no one hurrying other than is the white stuff from the pickets ’. the fielders to retrieve the ball from the pickets. Just when the threat had all but expired, I went among the crowd at midwicket to watch however. Sobers, receiving a leg-side full toss from Meckiff. From there, I was convinced he did not throw Meckiff, unaccountably let the bat twist round in his one ball. But I overheard a cung remark, ‘ Meckiff grip, and the ball, coming in contact with the back doesn’t throw, but he can’t bowl either ’. Benaud, instead of the meat, was gently lobbed to midwicket. eager for further successes, did not worry overmuch about the flow of boundaries. His avowed policy to ‘ A great innings, the best by common consent played in play ball ’ with West Indies was being faithfully a post-war Test in Australia, was at an end. It lasted pursued; and it was geng results, too. 174 minutes, and included 21 fours. Sobers withdrew to thunderous applause and the ripple of the turning Presently, however, Gary Sobers (Pictured, Below, Le) leaves of record books as it was deduced that he had began to show why he is regarded by so many good exceeded his 3,000 runs in Test cricket; had completed judges as the best batsman in the world. Sobers’ gis his 10th Test century in three years; and had, since have never been in doubt; now he proved to Australia, 1957-58, scored 2,250 runs in Tests against Pakistan, as he had done to England earlier in the year, that his India, England and now Australia, at an average of 95. temperament is And he is sll only 24! also that of a great cricketer. Worrell, in his fih successive half century of pure arstry, contributed 61 to the stand of 174 in 152 The last minutes and was out in Davidson’s next over to a fine occasion ball that hustled off the pitch and le him. Grout, so Benaud bowled safe behind the stumps, had his fourth catch. at Sobers, he knocked down Hereabouts, the innings might have folded up but the his middle move in holding back Solomon for the middle order stump with the was successful. A slim, neat and watchful player of first ball of the day. Sobers, moreover, was in the Indian extracon (he comes from the same area as middle of a run of exceponally low scores, for one of Kanhai in Brish Guiana) he was at once in command. his standards. Benaud was quick to seize the While he lacked the power to match the previous opportunity to join issue again with Sobers. feast, his strokes were well organised, and he obviously watches the ball more closely on to the bat The le-handed batsman was quicker to exact than some of his colleagues. revenge. He took three glorious fours off Benaud’s second over, and reached 50 in 58 minutes with his Both Lashley, and the dependable Alexander, helped eighth four. West Indies leapt to 100 in the 18th over. him in useful partnerships, and Solomon looked as Despite adjustments to the sight-screens, wasng five though he would be bang into the second day when minutes, West Indies reached 130 by lunch. It must be just before the close, he pulled Simpson to mid-wicket, a long, long me since a crowd at the ’Gabba had no ran up the pitch and then looked back to see he had excuse on the first morning of a Test match to yell ‘ trodden on his leg stump. Have a go, yer mug.’ But for the unlucky dismissals of Sobers and Solomon, If anything, the aernoon was even more spectacular and the apparently dubious one involving Smith, West as Sobers and his captain, Worrell, seled into a classic Indies might easily have topped 400, and, more partnership. Worrell, a man of great natural dignity, important, had half their wickets in hand to delay the had put sffness and stability into the West Indies start of the Australian innings while the pitch was sll bang from the moment he took strike. Now, the playing so well. innings on a surer foong, he matched his young Aer all that had transpired, however, who could partner in thrilling stroke-play. seriously complain ? Sobers, straight driving with such explosive force that even Benaud could not intercept several hits off his Next Time - ‘fight back’

19 T'was a month before Now it’s December Christmas, And cases are spiking, And all through the town, Wave two has arrived, People wore masks, Much to our disliking. That covered their frown. It’s true that this year The frown had begun Has had sadness a plenty, Way back in the Spring, We’ll never forget When a global pandemic The year 2020. Changed everything. And just ‘round the corner - They called it corona, The holiday season, But unlike the beer, But why be merry? It didn’t bring good mes, Is there even one reason? It didn’t bring cheer. To decorate the house Airplanes were grounded, And put up the tree, Travel was banned. Who will see it, Borders were closed No one but me. Across air, sea and land. But outside my window As the world entered The rain gently falls, lockdown And I think to myself, To flaen the curve, Let’s deck the halls! The economy halted, So, I gather the ribbon, And folks lost their nerve. The garland and bows, From March to July As I play those old carols, We rode the first wave, My happiness grows. People stayed home, Christmas is not cancelled They tried to behave. And neither is hope. When summer emerged If we lean on each other, The lockdown was lied. I know we can cope But away from cauon, Many folks dried.

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