JUNE 4th, 1976/ISSUE NO. 31 2 TROLLING STONED, JUNE 4, 1976 ~~~~~~~~~~~ Join ~ . the Wor
},(Jitor Leering and Frothing· by Dr. B. S Humpson 5 .Wide Elaoin Schrdlu The whirring, ' humming, burping machines in our offices of Senior Editors pubication are spewing, beeping, and clacking busily away even as Curvcd Lyc Dick, All Hell Nerd, Smutty McCrocked Church Associate Editors these words go to press. Those of us who labor long and drearily Mojo Wire, Fred Logs, The Big Nuke to bring you the latest on the trolling scene are, as ever, doing our Mg X Grignard, J.O. Esler, Quasimodo III best and brightest to make just one more issue work. Herein you Davy Caldaway, SI. Nick, Schlock Coward Quantum will find , upon careful searching perhaps, the product of Fasl Cars & .Fast Womcn Craig Irrational Affairs Desk innumerable hours of fruitless endeavor and disillusioned pasteup, Bunter S. Humpson behind·the-scenes . interviews and midnight oil. Yes, Gentle Contributing Editors Groupies, this is truly not our newspaper, but yours (like it or Mechani The Big Z [Books], Pam Ereclor, Steve Ovaltine not). Read it, and treasure its mellow yellow pages ad infinitum. Anal Silvervcin, Gravel 'n' Clay Pool This small communique buried oft between the lines of Foyer Florist, David H.T. Rivet & Son , Master Beatty [Food], Yumi Masticated [Religion] contents is our way of letting you know we are really here The Brothers IV, Banana Nose Beer Mug really care about tuna, Taiwan, and your dog getting enough • Assistant Censors cheese. Ohrnigod, if you could only see the lack of apathy in our Big Ed Bleechy, Ken Reap, Chcss offices! The utter respect for our small, but loyal herd who read Checkers, Over Hard, McDonalds Le Roi, Scoop Grommit, Bumt Wcll each' week the masthead, who look eagerly, nay, salivate, over the Editorial Staff contents of our ears' (Earwax and alL .. .) Truly, this is a rag Forged Son, Swab, Goosh printed with sweat and blOod and uncountable other nasty vile Lewd, Kraut, Bricklayer. Oscar substances, to say the least. .. .. Art Destroyer Pardon me? What? . . .. one of our diligent cub reporters Hrld Brwn (sic) Chief Daguerrotyper interrupted me there with an issue of vital importance. It seems Davis Triwheeler the hotline teletype (ASR33, only the best for us), direct from Picture Editors our correspondents abroad, in the hostile nether regions of Outer Slice-a-fester, RoU-a-fesCer Mudd, began clattering noisily but moments ago, bringing us a tale Special Projects of dire consequences, or so it seemed, and many more C.Y. Aehmet Production Coolie run-on·sentences . . .. yes, fans, it has finally happened! The Enri ("Yokahama") Furballs quake-writers of Shaketown, the swinging capitol of Outer Mudd, Art Production Staff have sold a million-killer, and will soon be receiving their first Print.a-fester, Load-a-fester Gold Strip-Recording! The title of their smash single: "Richter Camera Never Had It So Good". Craig Bones, Bob Bust, Rick Feelmen Oabia Geria, My Lay, Bare Knockers Zonc But back tei the less quivering elements of this friendly personal D Ng, Davis Chancre, Kenncth Yu shitame informal straight' from the-editor's-typewriter (bet you thought I Beat-Me-and-Eat-Me Chrissy was gonna say 'ass') space-filler. Where was I? Where am I? Huh? Wha? Ah, yes, it would seem correct at some point in this soliloquy Read the Publisher that I convey our plans for our next thrilling journalistic exercise. .J J .C. Marksman fans, we've had our reporters and assorted informants and cutthroats out and about looking for scoops and tidbits, and you Associat.e Publisher know what, they haven't found any! It seems that things will be exciting, . Asskiss Ink quiet in the trolling biz for a while .. either that, or all of the Advertising Direct.or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious gee-whiz super-good-guys I told Rump Roll National Slave Director you about way up above are sitting on their duffs or making out Brass Ramsbotlom with their girlfriends or something, but they sure as hell haven't Book of Sales Representatives coughed up any leads! Looks like we might just have to shoot the New Guinea: Beaver Busch lot of them and cease publication (and pubication) for a while, Lost: Cynthia Claplrap like over the summer maybe, and see what we can dredge up from Chickamauga: White Unoshot Santa DQmingo: Buster Maidcnhead the depths then. Rumor has it that a number of young new stars Rotation Circulation Director are about to hit the Pasadecency trolling scene. Some of them, Wain 's Dick & Son guaranteed,. are just not gonna be right for the big-time biz, and Subscriptions Director maybe we can like slurp-siphon-them-off-con-them-into joining our Uss Pi ss Sir little operation'_ . . . . . Bail Skipping and Refuge Thigh Trail In any case, we seem to have been able to scrape up the energy Blackmail and costs, not -to mention the copy, for one more go at it. ... Richard P. Yellow inside this insidiOUS, no, pardon me, incredible issue are lots Porged Documents great inside stories by those-in-the-know about troll biz today. Bride Atthc Altar Finance wit, we have from the celluloid brain of Quasimoto a bunch As tittle as possible questionably quaint reveiws of what's happening in the movie Our Women scene . . ... Meatty, our eating expert, returned once more Nancv Rae Nathalie Anne, Rachelle Crew abound!) from a foray into the Wilderness-Out- there- with open Evelyn 'Louis~, Ann Michelle, Pam Hunlsberry mouth and long commentary on the state of organic edibles in and around town. Our nose on the third floor threw together a series of Random Notes, and the ever-alphabetic XYZ (not his real Hear the To Ihe Lucky Few name) said some things about Southern California women, one whom is on display for your prurient interests somewhere in these Offices sticky pages. Can you recognize the belly·button? ..- Even our Hut 4, Camp 3, Mandalay Pcninsula fingerworn typist, Daniel Levon , got into the act, doing a smash secret Tel Tappala-Tap-Tap-Thud review of Elton John's super-successful concert. Mobile Zcro, Borders of Rhodesia for-the-huddled·masses at Caltrans' Wedding Cake Ampitheater. Tcl Nobody and of course, we've got record reviews from Stoned Rock, 2 Honor Code Road, West Poinl Gospel Tel on everyone else our regular wri ter on the subject. .. . 69 Slrasbourg, Alsacc Lorraine So, trolls, try to keep your hormone levels under control as . Tel browse through these' libelous layers of lexigraph. Forget that 1215-105-51-39-18-29 Ca llushorny BVD like us} you have something more important you really Pas-da-dinna, CaUushorny 96969 according I .~~ .. I'" be doing .. . . T.A. Anything Else You Can Find Yourself to 8t The contents of Trolling Stone~ are incapa.ble of re~roducing. in any manner eith er in whole or part, If left to their own deVlces. All nghts on red Jeg~1. Publisher d oes not assume any responsibilit'y' The ,:oIl:tents of this issue should in no way be construed with reality. Mail subscnptlOns, address Cover Lettering by Glly Miller changes and adjustments to Trolling Stoned, Box, Gravel, ZZ 00000. Ruddock! Centerfold Photo by Ken Yoshida This edition Published June 4 for burning in the streets June 2 to June 16 Concept by AI Kellner Postmaster mail any form resembling 36"":"'22- 36 to Caltech.
, 31 is an odd issue . . . no Dateline Burpbank! TR()UIN(; STONHD. JUNE 4, 1<)76 3 11all-,\1,,;rc, r,'c\'iously -Ilta i :\,~ l'rl\~isi\)llelr hy -~--Lurrent' Neck, I had lliligclItly ab lllJllagl'IllCllt. promises to he The Last sorbed a humid l()aLi 'If olle of the Illost indulent ;\IH..! kno\vledge in Lc 11 ]cL'lllrc, rulsllme yet. ('inclllatush. as Meatty's Maw • eat itlg, uf the fruit or ~1(JJl'mic any jaded jUliior will tell YUII. Rites • cxccllcnl-c ' Relaxing 'n the is thl' anunYlllous Jrtsy-I~lrlsy McGllire's f! SiVC 4 (Ulllpulsioll. Tlte pTO!;.l jilIn for teenagl'l alld l'hilci calldles in thelll (alsll Like), lasles like salt, horser:rciish, • gonis! is illGlpahlc ()f curbillg alike. alld a III thy staillcd glass s:!lt. mild. and salt. The Illeal In Iris appctite, seeking an lIutlel f.asl Vl'ar ill :tfaricllbad depicling Ilrree apples, a glass itself has a rUllllY (("11r I) for repf~ssed hOI1l()sexual tell ( 1961 ), directeu by yuung of beer, and a l'hic"," shllwu Illedil'inal when dcncies ill the Of a! exprt.:.'ssioTl hotshot and stud Al:rin layillg aIt egg fr()1ll the rear. drowned with the S()ggy I()ad lIf all-cotlsulnillg desires. [Iris Rcsmis, is inJistinguislwble Lawrence Welk bubble Illusic stools it's ]"l"llljnisl'l'lll Ill' the Marienbad, leads to Ihe disruption of the from its l't,)JllP:-lI1ioll piece, excretes from eve ry corner, time you had your t()nsils out. prot:lgonist's tt,Jt:d ccos)--'skm. Flli/less SI1111 II1l'r. Ilypnotic making priv~ltc conversations The ricl' is so glue y ynu C~l[l Morl'over. lite IInirappy hero :lIld enlhralling in visual delail ne y"ct :llllltiler victim uf 1.3\..'11:1- Curtil.'s css~ly ill (}edip~t! (()1l 4 "ell) and shoves you I",\rind a :nnllscml'nt 11:1Vl' lite "P~':k·ItI'S Vl()Ltr \luLiific:JlioIl tllerapy. (lie{ :lflU rc~ul{1(i(ln stands :.IS a I j II i pu t i:r n I a b Ie COVl' rc d wi Ilr I:lalllhe": a ""l1pe of ~e\' Well photogr:Jplrcd, wilh stun i:","mark in AIlleric:d psyclllJ wlrat ItH"S like a surplus stnnc Cops CUlllCS j"()["\v'JI"J ning !ightillg '-11)(1 cOll1positiull L·iJl(,!ll~llks. Bugart's p()rtray~tl (Confeuerate) army tent. Af with great pomp and sels a ill the sequences dealing \\,ith of :In Oedipal child in co"nicc ter laking unc's dl;JllCCS wi Ih bowl llf soggv. sirrivl'led fll.il the conflicts Df the lIral phase between the f,,,bidden desire the insulting menu, (me is i1l frunt nr you. Tl1l'ir ri!lg ohsession. for the muther-tigllre (Ingrid "escorted" to salad bar, which leader theu rI.,uses it witlt The Codjilther (1'!74), " Bergman) aTid his fear Df I he takes up about :l furlong and cleaning Iluid and lighls it. nco-realist "slice-oJ~life" view. l'olllpctitiun ur the lather is :r may even look :rppelilillg lie's usually spilled more orl of happy Sicili:JTl peasants ill classic ill psydlO!t,)gical stress. (mill lit'!)' paces. But at closer Ihc table Ih,," iu the howl, their lilCslyJe of COllll1ltJ()jUrt SeJ'eJ{ SallllJrai (1()55) is range nnc notices the hrowll and usually sets the table by A. Lester Quasimodo III with the good earth. Akira Kurosawa's clever Japa let tuce. green hananas. anel alight. After beating out the hullillg Stolled Film Editor /1 Clu('kll'ork Orallge nese imil:rlion of that great blue (no kidding') tlllliatoes. names wilh his shoe. he Oespite rllmors and () ln~), a distressingly poorly ATilerical Wcstenr claSSic, 7i1(' The jello has mclted allll rlln IlIUrtnlHS a slight apology :lJld gallivantin~ hearsay that the photDgraphed dllculllclitary es Magllificellt S(,1'I'II. Tajinds Oil tn the !lour. the beans have sli thcrs away. L~iIll'llIati(' ~nls Jre dead at say 011 the evolutiotl of the i second cOllsin, Tosh Mifullc, sprouted, and the clleese Little else can be said in Caltech, Ihe Trulh will Oul ' Russian I:lngll:rge in the pllpU as ;) hairy prot;:fg()nist. could he mistaken for a picce polite sociely. If you really Or sel ynu Iree. 01 what lar :rrgot "I' 1l1iddle-cl:lSs lithu Through a Class /Jarkly of the mODil. Thc dressillgs want a laug.h, try the place, eVer ... anians. (1'.161). Ingmar Berglnan's add insult to inj Ilry , anout as but bring your llwn burp bag. A few barbaric harhs 2001: A Space OdI'SSC l' pruhing docuillentary abullt hland and greasy as possible. Tell thelll llarold senl you, and watch thelll scralch their sallies and sullies at the ( 19711, :r M:rrgaret Me:rd-ish, four people lin all iSlllated The bille dleese lastes like upL'UIning {llllli..:: seaSOTl: shallow antitruplilogieal irrter Baltic islalld who observe a wttcn milk with ""IU in it, heaus in am:lIement. The ASSK ISS Illms will prctai\Hl {)f the cvo!ution uf lotal solar eclipse. and thc llil and vinegar is like - :1!Cl/1! l' con tinue their un perturhed tire walt/. illllstr:Jted quite A Cinematush special sequeflces of fulsollle aJIlhi nicely Oll lite screen by wlr"t showing: the lillll made ()f lire ence and impurtuned indif appear 10 be pl"""c symbols (;rateful Dead's big serics of The NASAl ference. undel the ohuurate :uld female orifices. FXlTS Winter/and concerts in August direction of the duly elecled sively ILlng, willt IIIIdo altell of a kw years back. Also to tion to ledITlical det ail. Rapturity Directur. Since Ihe cOlne: Solaris, if the CUllllnics IHlly inceplion ur the stu 1Jc.,·UIU/ the Va!!".\' or tlr" give us a print for less than a French Connection dell I hodv rull !licks hy nulls (I ()6li) is a brilliant tllOuS:lncl bucks. Hurs'ie. in the days whell exercise ill cinemat ie COlllpO Tips for aspiring rrosh: Yo lIr Iraveling Trolling diverting the funus to exalll ining problems \rl'fe un Earth') cretins were en.. 'tins alld coclL- silion alld fu"n. The perl'cp How to becume Raptmity Sioned correspondent W;)S canths roamed the earth, the tive vicwl'r is (lvt.?rCl)t1lc by the Director of ASSKISS tilnls: be granted an interview with Dr. Dr. Bowden: Wh y mlls tit , ASSK ISS Illms have pfllVilierl hnlli:rnce of director Rllss a Page Boy. Bowden, an upcoming )'uung be a choicc') I have devised a our "ecauent. halt~alli"lale au .\1e-ycr's visual Jet/Illell and IIl1w tojllin Cinenr" tush! scielltist presently employed series of experiments that dience with a Ilcvcf-emling subtle col<)I thernatics. Prop() be a Llcquer Mole. Or grow by NASA. Dr. Howden's re deals \lith both. uur se:nch sequellee of brash Iiollywomi lIl'nts uf the auteur theory" your hair 10llg and act like an putatio" has dtietly cume for kllowledge ill space. :lnd Illcdiocrity alld drivc/, over will readily rccllgllile Ihal expert on surrealism. from his designs uf experi otlr ~Ippr()ach to sPl'ial powering the sellSes of Ihe \Ie-yet". c[eatur of other III garbage anyway. This led to "Tiny Dancer", "Burn Down Bippity·Bop the Rear Worrd Secrets 'of Nassau the Mission", "There Goes a by W. A. Xyx Monica, fraught with hazards Well·Known Gun" and many Those who have the for· to be undertaken only at six and are not rehabilitated when convIct to measure Ule pro· others that left the crowd tunc to live in the golden land in the morning, and the leaving. Righ t'? babilities of unassisted reo begging for more, and getting of California, where th e sur· southward roads to Hunting. TS: - - Go on. entry. it. fers' wave stretches on end· ton Beach and beyond ... the Dr. Bowden: Well , my plan TS: But what about the Then, when it seemed that lessly towards infinity and the glorious deserted seashore is to use convicts who have heat? the excitement of the audi sun shines endlessly on golden path to La j oUa and the little cha nce of being released. Prof: Don't you listen? I ence had built to an incredible tanned infinitely screwable ultimate beach campus at soon to assist in tests of a already said, if he survives, peak, he carried it up with women , will soon notice a UCSD where naked California somewhat "high risk" nature, he's a free man. The cops him to an incredible musical palpable distinction between girls stroll around an endless and in flights that would have won't bother him a bit. climax: an entire medley of tha Southland and the North strand populated wi th seagulls been otherwise unm anned. TS: Not that heat. I mean Neil Sedaka songs! As an even Country. and hang·gliders .... Get the picture'? the prisoner himself, won't he further surprise, Tony Tennille Somewhere between In , the North, all the TS: Uh ... Not really. get heated? (or however you spell it) Gaviota Pass and San Simeon fucking bridges are closed to DB: Then picture this: a Bowdio: Angry? No. Most stepped up out of the audi o lies a transition between these bikes. To get from Berserkeley confessed baby mWlcher vol· likely he'll be very relieved. ence al,ld joined him dragging two regimes of world. As a to the City, you have ' to go unteers on cond ition that if As we Iigure it , he'll be The Captain (not fantastic) Trolling Stoned correspon· hy way of Hewlett·Packard he survives, he'll be set free , thanking his lucky stars that with her. Elton and Tony sang den t, one is beh ooved to and all those fucking nerd presumably not to continue he's not the amputee we plan for another half hour, with undergo exposure to these double·E places on the Penin· munching babies. He is hur· to send inside an utm ospheric the audience screaming in two ex tremes of th ough t and sula. riedly flown to the Cape, probe to jupiter. ecstasy the entire time. climate. Those who are restric· The Pasadena Police arc where an old Mercury capsule TS: Dr. Bowden, I find The amazing accoustics of ted to one pole are fortunate reasonably cool dudes, who BeckInan brought out all of awai ts him. Once in your ideas cruel and un· (or unfortunate) indeed. smile reSignedly at bonfires the beau ty of the Sedaka space - any of a number of justilled. What possible bene· In the South there arc and such like activities (but songs, and tea rs to the eyes of experiments may proceed. fits could we gain by these beaches. Not merely beaches, don't let them get you for . the strongest·willed. I twas Right now, our concerns rest experimen ts? oh my little droogies, but traffic violations on primarily on the ques tion Herr Doktor: Don't you thought that nothing could surf, breakers, body surfing, bikes ... then they turn into · HCan man surv ive in a sec? Oncc we arc convinced possibly top this section of exquisite sun·tanning, glorious pigs)., vacuum'? And if so, for how that surviving in a vacuum is the concert, but as the golden sunsets ; tall , blonde· The Alameda County long?" To find out, we merely impossible, and unassisted Captain allli Tony left the haired, gorgeously and volup· sheriffs arc called the "Blue , open a door in the capsule re·entry is unlikely, we could stage, Elton announced the tuously browned gi r1 s at the Meanies" for ample reason . and wait. build huge orbiting prisons in last medley of the show beach, Coors, bikeways, long In the South, one can TS: My God ! Won't air be space. ' No escape will he would be one specially pre· strands of fine white sand for guzzle beer to one's delight: possible .' Imagine it! No riots, a problem? pared for a local appearance. lyin g in ; and at Manhattan Bud, Oly, Mickey's, Tuborg, no tunneling out, no sawing and Hermosa, row upon row Bowden: No, though the As a special salu I.e to Caltech or if yo u have connections, a through the bars , no swim· of volleyball courts on the lack of it might be. and JPL, he would conclude little of the old Point beer. ming to the mainiund! sand for pursuit of the perfect TS: How could you get a the concert with "Rocket In the North, it gets too TS: Well, at least the prison to agree to such a Man" and the newly rewritten spike, the headlong dig, and fucking cold to drink anything experiments will be over. the perfect doubles team. thing? "Madm~n Across Baxter". cooler than Sn ap·E.Toll1. It The Brain: Nonsense! To In Ule North, there are The Doctor: The prison's And sure enough , Baxter is rains, and if you try to go continue interest in these rocks and stupid shit along only requirement is that we just where EJ ended the. n1nning, your fucking Adida's experiments, I'd personally don't put the convict under ·eve ning. Except for the minor the shoreline. There arc skin · get wet and end up stinking any pressure . offer a reward ,to any prisoner ny , , pal e, insolent wenches incident with a fish eating th e the apartment up . Or it snows TS: Don'l you find who successfu ll y escapes. who run around in furs and spangles off of h is glasses, the and you can't ride your bike sacrificing human life a steep TS: That should rnake you overcoats . There i s evening ended perfectly. to campus without being plice to pay juSI to watch popular. Bers erkeley, full of dog shit, In a post conce rt rare blinded by the wh.iteness and ' men die in a vacuum? Dr. Bow den: Of course. panhandlers, murderous heroi n iJitelview Elton answered the getting hit by a tru ck. There Doc: But that's not the Then we wouldn't even have addic ts, asshole Hare Krishna question on everyone's minds: arc faggots on all the street only experiment! Next on our to tell them that "Escape is what caused him to pick people who make noisc at corners, looking for blow jobs, li st, we plan to jettison the strictly for Bowdcn." Beckman after sllch other seven in the morning on or there are Black Muslims or concert sites as Dodger Sta· · . Saturdays, and cold weather Jesus freaks pushing their dium . I-lis reply: "Well, (drip, with rain where a 'man can't product on you. Or the get a decen t tan even in the drip) where else could you fucking Hare Krishna are .Captain Fantastic summer without freezing his trying to se ll you something find such an intimate place with such unusllal accoustics . balls ofr. about the Perfect Masturbator ! (splooosh) And, besides, it In the South , there arc or something. Or your apart· was the on ly auditorium in end less opportunities for long men t ge ts trashed by the in Beckman Action bike trips; the road to Wilson, the world (plop) where the Weather Underground. Or the Elton John awe at his rather unusual ceiling matches the sequins on the more ambitious loop of narcs bust in while you're Beckman Auditorium attire (A Hart, SchaCtiler and my cape!" state Highways 2 and 39, the cooking up a batch of brow· Pasadena, California Marx business suit), the King Forest Highway leading even· nies. Or you have to take April 31, 1976 of Rock and Roll hroke into tually to Lake Isabella. the physics lectures with a bunch "Crocodile Rock", its tender complicated paU, to Santa of total nerds from MIT. by Daniel Levon strains bringing tears to the Breaking a long tradition of eyes of a't!. This opening (and showcasing only artists with the 36 kilowatts of speakers no popular appeal or drawing used by hjm and his bancl) power, Beckman Auditorium , left the crowd blown back in that cozy powerhouse of the their sea ts. As a few returned entertainment world, surprised to consciousness, th ey saw its regular patrons with an Elton rip open , the business appearance by Elton John suit, revealing a set of se· (otherwise known as the lat· quined tigh ts, a day·glo cape, N OW yon can reach a level oj' ter·day Elvi s). Only the $75 and a skin·tigh t top with a big excitation that only months ago per ticket price prevented an red · E on ' the chest. Now WIlS nnhea'rd of A magneto overflow crowd from being realizing that it was the REAL even larger than the confines him that was performing, the hydrody namic vessel of The Big Wedding Cake. crowd laughed with glee as he As soon as the crowd, rushed over to the keyboard including a few old er citizens and began his rocking reno with spasmodically pulsed who had come ex peeting to dition of "Your Song". watch a travelogue, were The . concert went on for laser stimulation, scientifically seated, the house lights what $Cems like a few mi· pat terned to massage and ca ress dimmed for a moment. A nutes, although it must have two protons to the u.ltimate act of hush fell on the crowd, been hours. The incredible fortunately injuring no one. medley of "Indian Sunset fusion. Suddenly, the audience saw Skyline Pigeon" was a good (or, didn't see) a blinding se t , 35 minutes long, what with of lights illuminate the center the long instrumental solos. In of the stage , focusing on the response to audience demand, Lawrence-U vermorc Laboratory, figure of ' the olle and only' he performed most of his Send for your sample today: lJept. K.I-7, 111. Manhattan St., ELTON! older songs, commenting that Uvermore, CA 94395. As the crowd ga~ped in most of his newer stuff was TROLLING STONED, JUNE 4, 1976 5 Leering and Frothing at ·Caltech by DR. BUNTER S Hl!MPSON '"ational Affairs Desk It was five in the morning remnants of the previous come out of a high with Iwo enough to forget all about us sm il ed and sat back for and I was wasted 'on my bu tt night's salami. I hate break of those young frosh girls and still have enough cash to another afternoon of bore in the second-no or room fast. It's that God-forsaken (which makes four firm keep ourselves in ac tion for a dom. The profs. however, watching the candle drip all time when one is coming thighs) wrapped around my week or two." quickly fell 10 discussing the over the tin can filled with down from the night before naked body and that asshole "Y ou nu ts'!" He replied. fucking dominance of the wax and splattering my desk and going up with the mor counselor screaming reveille. I "That's your basic fe lony, the Physics department and (he top with unremovahle yell ow ning's material all at the same had just wanted to row out kind they lock you up for and conversation kept me alert crap. My co-editor still had his time. My room-mate was still around the poin t and screw throw the key away. You enough to fo llow it. nose buried in some tri ffid's zon ked ou t on the tri ffi d. those birds in the warm want to try to bent a rap like "Why the hell should all tits - drooling saliva all over They had both done a baker's Pacific until some Dean 110- tha!'? They'll have your ass our ace chemists he flunked her silver-doll;lr-sized nipples. , dozen of Don Juan's mush ticed they were gone. I didn't hanging iJl Terminal Island Ollt by IWo required years of had to get up for the faculty rooms the night before and get to do Ihat until the before you know what hit, physics while we calmly pass meeting at eight and there was wouldn't be moving for a afternoon as I spent all you," all th ose ass-kissing theoretica l just enough time to cat while. Just my luck, I needed morning laking care of them "Bullshit. We hit her with ph ysicisls through Chem I?" breakfast betweelT now and the ass to roll off some on land . God, sometimes I two or three lin es now and " I put the case slraightly then. , headed for the head photos of the presidential think the frosh admissions keep her drugged through to ye, fellows, let the bastards and took a shit while thinking candidates that morning. committee knows what it is tomorrow morning, after sweat sperm in 144 and Pe te'll -of where to score breakfast. I I gravi lated down th e Olive doing. which we send her on some savage their GPA's. finally decided on heading Walk while watching Millikan You readers won'l under shit to keep her rolling in her "No, no. The action must down to Muskrat's room and change colors. Some early stand why I'm talking about conscience for abou t a week. c orne from the Illunnni pounding on the door un til he morn ing trolls have told me frosh C:llJP in the middle of When she comes down she tics ... " I heard this no tion shouted enough obscenities to that in Ihe ea rl y dawn the this report on picking I.h~ new won't remember a thing about and stared across the rOOIll make me open the door on building is a beautiful 'green, pres, but that's your problem. what happened." He shook his and wntched dear Boom my own. even if you're as straight as a The morning ' was dull as hell head in agreemen t. Boom, as we know her, r knocked ove r one of his" CCFer's bible. I stumbled into as each boring facul ty member "What'll we ask?" listening to the meeting. I ohms as he screained "You a security toad at the entrance savared one or the other of "Wh o the hell knows? could feel the vodka from cock-sucker! If you don't get to the Board Room and didn't the candidates and the pllY~ics think the majori ty of those lunch pounding \fDwn to Illy your honky ass out of. here get a chance to fondle his department represen tatives sat faculty lypes would pay just cock. I watched Boom-Boolll's I'U mm those leads down your balls because his pot belly was , tight in the fat cat position as to eat her out after we'd tits heave under her blouse. pan ts and give you 200 wa tis so huge. the departmen t. They knew screwed the pu bic hai rs off of Oh God would I love to feel a testicle I" "Press, want in." He that whatever they said would her. Let's just see what the those mams surrounding my "Stine it, rat. I need some stared at me and grunted. be the gospel of the institute, market will bear. Ec/SS 1 I Roman Rod as her lips lines for breakfast." "1.0_" I fished through my so the ramblings of the and all that shil." I reached descended to kiss lily German "Shit. Why the fucking hell pants and found the card biologists and the chemists into the medicine cabinet for helmet. The thoughls couldn't you think about crumpled up in a back pocket. were of no consequence al all. my Kamchatka Vodka and the were ... . these things before you The third term validation had I heard some random Geophy orange juice came out of the My co-editor just reminded crash?" been rubbed off, but he'd sicist begin to repeat every old refrigerator across the hall. I me thal this is supposed to be "( haven't been crashed for never notice. joke from the jou rnals as I don't know who the fuck's we a news story so I won't tell three days you idiot. I just "Ain't validated for this slipped off in to fantasies stole that morning. It was you wha I. those chern profs wan t soine breakfast. That term." Jesus Christ. You'd about driving to the beach almost a game, stealing orange said about methods of syn reminds me, I need some think that they'd tell this and enjoying the day instead juice every morning and seeing thesis of some stuff th at'll more methedrine too. Get a lackey that I was coming. I of lolling around at "news who had the balls to complain send you from here to there move on." He rolled over and button-holed the first prof worthy" events. about it. without any trouble at all. groaned. passing and explained who , The morning session broke I left my co-editor to lick What was said about the "Get all the shit you need was and asked him to get me up as I was jostled from my the saliva off his tri ffid's chest presidential aspiran ts was very from behind the amp and past this fool. The prof shook body surfing back to the and headed for the housing minimal indeed. The whole god-damn it sign your name me off and waltzed in in . a board-room - which was half office to sign on for the mood was one of waiting, on the li st for once. The huff and it wasn't until then empty by then. This would summer. I stood in front of waiting until after the parties treasurer has been getting on tha t , noticed I still had the never do. My photographer the sec r~ tary and wntched her thai night. Then they would my ass about charging yOur beer can in my hand. , nicked room mate was still crashed nipples swell as my cock fel t a know 'which ca ndidate would house bill without your signa it at a trashcan and the on his triffid when I returned. throbbing hard corning on. I keep them in grass and ass for ture." I scarfed up the needed security guard jumped as I shook him until he moved felt like a deccn t blow, but I his tenure in office. I noted lines along with some lnethe th ough he thought r had no and handed his 'half-asleep knew Ihat this little piece of few things down as I was drine and a dozen buttons he ri gh t 1.0 use a trash can at the amalgamation of hair-in-the twat on ly blew the mall. I bored and had dreams of had in a packet at the re ar. hellhole I was paying 5K a face a glass full of Chivas signed the con t ra c I and Boom-Boom secretly har "Thanx, rat." I stumbled year to fuck-off at. The next Regal. I'd picked it up the furched (or staggered) to my boring a desire for my body back down the alley and prof vouched for me. He was night before from God knows room in search of some Wild and my thirteen inches (Why found my room again. I relit some fool I'd had to grovel where. I-Ie downed the unit in Turkey and a bl ow from my be modest for all you inferior the candle that .had sputtered before wh~n applying for a a single gu Ip and I11U ttered room-mate's triffid. II turned types?). out and turned on the tape reinstatement and thought about being out o f film. I out Ihat , had to settle for I could hear lhe Eagles deck. I laid ou t the lines on a thai I'd returned to the kicked his ass until he owned Jack Daniels and a quick fee l pound ing in my ea rs as I Jefferson and rolled them up. straight and narrow after up to having a loaded camera of her venus mound before I dreamed of her opening wide After a couple of sn o rts , flirUng with the big F's. I and prom ised lo shoot the had 10 he bH ck at the board for my sy mhol of under began to warm up for the grensed my way in to a back presidential c,lIldidates that room fo r the afte moon ses graduate horniness and terrible day. Mother-fucking Iwo row sea t and sal wondering very afternoon. sion. journalism to descend inl o her do ll ar bi ll s nre good for how long the buzza rd s were "By Ihe way, where's Ihe I gO I past the security Black Forest. The muskral something besides h orse rnces going to go at Ih e ir hacking trifTid fr om?" guard without even being would have been proud of my and kicking the machine in unlil they p'icked the winner. He slared down al the fazed as I slipped him a lid hallllcina tions. J orgasm with. Or lose r for that matter. They saliva-coated breasls and trlUl - and smuggled 'I few litles in to Evenlua ll y Ihe meeting The faculty me eting was might as well vole Iwo of Ihe I ered some ind ecipher;lble sniff Ollt of Illy notes. At the cnded as Ihe profs from Ihe out to pick a new ·institute Ihree losers and Ihe remnan t place in the midd le of no rear of the enlire eve nt I chem departmen t and , were presi'denl and I had to be can be decl ared institute presi where. found some new chemists who discussing Ihe best method o f there throl!gh all Ihe bu ll shil dent. I could fee l a burning in "Tell you what," I said as , had their shit together and synlhesis for a variety of to report th e crap fe r the my eyes and , wondered why assessed t.he possibilities. " We quickly no liced thai I kept agenls. It seems (lin t a fel low paper. I snorled 'I few more Ihe presiding offi cer kept could stuff her into a ca r and sniffing al my noles. They from Ri ce University had very limes un til the lin es were gone doi ng hnndstands on the po drive 10 th e parlies being was led 1:10 time in puttin g Ihe ca refully expl'lined the hest amI ro ll ed ove r, groping under dium This wasn' l going to be Ihrown by the preSidential question to me al.ld , beg'ln mClhod of syrl Ihesiz in g acid at the desk for the Dr. Pepper my morning. aspirants tonighl and peddle passing the Jeffe rson around. the latest se ri es of Federation and some Ba cardi 151 . I In fa cl, I hadn' t hnd a her ass Ihe whole way. We The distinguished profs were meel in gs a yield much bet poured a house mug fu ll and really good morning since that could sC,ore enough cash to rapid ly entertained by the tcr than th e published results. washed it down wi th the day at frosh ca/np when I'd keep her hu zze d for long onset of appli ed chemiSlry. I Org Syn would have been 6 TROLLING STONED, JUNE 4, 1976 did my best to attac k. of A+ from Lit 15 ... . proud. I knew a fellow back rea lized what he meant by an I sliced open a grapefruit After I downed the sand at my house who h ad devised oral exam and by Big Ben all from the glove compart. wich I plowed in to a group a quantitative synt.hesis that at once. God, I'd have sworn LEERING ment - nes,led in only four or discussion with a glassful of exceeded even this and I gave the dikes had broken when he five felonies I might add Bacardi Anejo to provide the them the methods as we were carne. My mouth and stomach - and munched the golden strength needed to stomach departing. could barely contain the jism fruit as the lights of the street the unmitigated bullshit. It I wandered past the Tech of mathematical formulae that AND occurred t.o me that it would rolled by. We had left the office on my return trip and shot from his symbol of freak sanctuary of the campus he polite to remove my hit. Ole provisional stash of manhood. I did, however, pass and were stuck out in the Hanoi-mirror sunglasses and commercial I kept in the desk 137." After reading the last middle of the straightest hou let the appearance t.hat I'm drawer as I read ilie daily few Unes some lackey has FROTHING civil prevail for at least a few ses of San Marino. The car mail. Some asshole was wri suggest.ed t.hat they're going to soon stopped rolling as I eyed minutes. I left them on . ting iii about pouring water take me to the nearest Col. a .driveway that was choked The faculty types were on ilie raunch flicks during Sander's and deep-fry me. with middle-in come cars of running on at the mouth decompression chambers se Bullshit. AT established faculty types. The about the merits of th e cond term. I fe lt that one I stumbled down to dinner one nice thing abou t the presidential aspirants. The ae good fuck was all this little and watched some Oriental flaccid flounder was that it ronautics prof to my right piece of frigidity needed t.o twat trying to massage the CALTECH didn't make any pretensions. kept ey eing the wife of the turn her on to both men and super-troll of the house into a It couldn't do anything. You physicist to my left. I cocks. The rest of the mail hard-on. Ignoring this, I took finally got . the back door had to crank like mad t.o get watched his eyes run up and a sea t when the waiters cried open. I tossed the triffid in consisted of the usual bullshit the rear window to do down her body as she shifted press re leases. One PR com and began to shovel down the and heard the soli d thud of metal again st flesh as she anything, the cigarette lighter back imd forth in her chair, pany was busy huckstering ye .~ crap that the food service began moaning. didn't work, and the radio strategically baring parts and on iliree propositions and no ca lled nutrition. Personally, I was stuck in a single sta tion hits of her tits and thighs. All on two others -'a complet.e fee l that. dinner is what is "What in God's holy hell do you have in that back from Long Beach that sucked a disgusting mish-mash of sell-out to cash when com wrong with America. I we white . meat that would fuck sea t?" grapefruit at its best. None of pared to their personal views. didn't have dinner, we could like a rabbit but never know "Oh shit. She's lying on this middle-income partially Which just goes to show tha t get rid of overweight people what a White Rabbit was . top of my carbine." automatic shit for us. We cash will buy any thing. Ex and the custom of cleaning Jesus, those boys in the Tech "Your carbille? What the drove a nothing car and were cept. maybe Bool11 -Boom's tits ones plate simply because office will never understand fu ck do you wallt with a proud of it. Up from this, we and twat. I though t of all the people are starving in West this. At allY rate, one prof carbil1e in your back seat'l would only ever purchase a money t.hat we were going to Virginia. I stood up as an was babbling about the great Some piss drunk fac ul ty mem Moby Dick - should we ever make iliat nigh t by selling the nouncements began and re be ' so inclined. ness of Caltech as a research ber will be· eating away on triffid my co-editor had alized that I was making an I opened ilie door and instilu tion and an other was picked up. ass of myself as I had no that triffid's hamburger t.o agreeing with him and said find the mouth of the barrel headed for the party with my As I returned to my room announcement. My lackeys at that as far as the faculty were bobbing up from the depths co-edi tor in tow We had my t.hough ts ran over the the table, however, quickly concerned, all the under of the Beaver's juices. Get the almost reached the front door dominance of the Physics respunded by engaging in · a graduates could go to hell and unit out of there." My before I becrulle aware of the department and it occurred to table turn . I acknowledged the stay there. (QUite strong lan co-editor grun ted and pulled Wild Turkey still in my hand. me that the only voice the saving as I sat down and the guage for a man of that sort.) the carbine out. The triffid I tossed it over the hedge and undergraduates have in all t.hat fellow to my right passed me The physicist began com quit moaning. He passed the heard it shatter on the vast physics department is a jOint of Hawaiian. I toked plaining about the inade carbine to me: . driveway next door. A garbled through that Shirley Temple deeply before passing it to the quacies of the required phy "Got to get her pants off," Califomia Tech had the door of the fourth floor whom t.he guy on my left. sics courses and how all the he grunted. "No telling what man licking out my boots and Big B (as we affectionately After dinner I headed for I steamed into the thick of biology and chemistry majors some customer will do when know him) is balling the slit the room where my room the boredom. The stereo was instead of learning physics like off of. It seems that they mate (a.k.a. co-editor earlier he finds he's paid to massage they should. They weren't an expanse of Levi's and can't playing a most droll song and began discussing particle in ili is piece) had already I had difficulty seeing why atypical among this faculty get them off her." I stood physics (shades of Jimmy doped the triffid up for the anybody would want to pick group. The undergraduates are stupidly holding the carbine Cart.er) and he wound up night of hooking. She had this fe ll ow as president. Duti the parasites of Cal tech, the the early evening light until he showing her all his particles as been tripping for about twen fully (this entire eventless day people' that are driving the draped the, Levi's over the spermatozoa. What else can ty-four hours now so I was had yet to produce a story) I institute broke and causing.oh unit and headed for the you say? interested in whether or not raided the sandwich bar for so many embarassing situ driver's seat. I got back to my room and she was ever going to come sustenance and shook some ations with no ' redeeming "Asshole!" I screamed. "O found the triffid sucking away down. I knew that it would acid ou t onto my ham quality. Shit. The · fa culty pen the trunk so I can cram on my co-editor's piece of be many a year before I ever sandwich. Having the consti wives have to have a source of this stuff in there. You think manhood. cam e down as I mu nched on tution of an encrusted ship fresh sperm somewhere and "Did you get the photos?" ilie mush room .I had gotten I want to walk in on some wreck is very useful. Time to dear hubby's research institute presidential aspirant with a I snapped at him. earlier in the day from find out which faculty wives migh t as well prOvide six "Of course," he moaned as Muskrat. I could feel the mother-fucking carbine and are sleeping with which facul inches for her while he's away she went round the crown psilocybin begin to course some twat's Levi's stinking of ty members. That's not in the for six hours over some with the tip of her tongue and through my circulatory system gin thrown over my shoul least bit sexist if you've ever obscure journal article. he almost splattered her nose. before I chugged off the rest der?" He threw me the trunk been around this campus for It was· time to stick my ass I nodded approval and headed of the Kamchatka and poured keys and I got the beast's more than, say , four hours. out to be chopped up. for . t.he medicine cabinet some more Dr, Pepper and boot open. Just long enough to realize "Isn't t.he greatness of where I found some Shitz and Bacardi into my house mug. I Christ, I was staggered. I that the only reason half the Caltech propagated t.hrough broke open a six-pack. Dinner dimly wondered what the knew my room mate liked studen IS go to see their the students who are trained wasn't until six-thirty and I trustees would say abou t tha t. weapons, but this was ridi advisors is to hope they're out in these portals every year?" I felt Uke getting my rocks off. Probably all they would care culous. I mean, there was and get t.o spend some time fired first. I headed for Ule shower - a would be to complain (due to enough stuff in that trunk to staring at a Chern E secy's "What?" The physicist place a friend of mine beat the influence of J. Pauli start a complete student riot. amalgam of protoplasm. I looked up with surprise that off frequently. I felt the surge Austeen) that I mixed the Carbines, magnums, shotguns, know one guy that went for a someone should speak such of orgasm as I chewed on the Bacardi with DP instead of dartguns and a cross-bow. I week, deliberately picking blasphemy about gospel truth. seventh button I had taken Coke. That is the usual didn't even bother to open times he knew h is advisor I tried to tell what he was with me. All my dreams were aUi tude of most of the the case labeled "White Phos wouldn't be in. Fucked up drinking from his breath· as I of HB watching with an trustees. They haven't the phorous," knowing him, it campus. continued staring. agonized face as I desecrated foggiest what really happens really was. A couple of I don't know why I go on "The greatness of Cal tech the hair of that luscious on this campus. appropriate epithets crossed with this. Every week I burn is propagated through publi humanities prof referred to The time had come for the my lips as J shrugged the myself out hoping that a cation of outstanding research earlier. Then who should first of the presidential aspi whole thing off and threw the legitimate news story will in the most prestigious of appear at the door but the Big rant.s' parties. I headed down last carbine and the Levi's materialize and spend my time journals. Undergraduates pro B himself? to my car with my co-editor into the trunk. If they catch lying around at faculty events vide nothing to the institute "What's up , taco?" I shot and the triffid. you with an arsenal like that in which the most news except albatrosses for the at him. My co-editor's car was the they lock you up for a long worthy item is ilie color of necks of professors intent on "Hell of a bummer this most non-descript thing about stretch. I didn't . care. The the Nobelist's tie. Still, in fron tier-of~the-field research." afternoon. I had to see my the entire parking lot. He whole rap for the trunk shi t about ten minutes one of my I felt a few minor explosions 137 prof about my homework called it the Flaccid Flounder, was his if we were stopped, or supers will be pounding on going off in my head and and he gave me only one but I thought ilie appellation at least iliat's all I could my door for my w~ekly though t ab ou t the beard in alternative - an oral exam or of mashed minnow 'to be a remember of California law a ssign men t and my pre front of me that kept chan fail. I though t abou tit for a hell of a lot more appropriate. through my addled mind. I sat eminent desire to avoid con ging colors. long time as he bragged about He fumbled in his pants - one down in the passenger's seat frontation with Academic "And how many grad them calling him Big Ben at of those European styles wi th as he passed mea half-emp ty Standards and Honors will studen IS did you sodomize to the Athanaeum Bar. He stood buttons allover the pocket.s bottle of Wild Turkey which I drive me to finish this for get. enough data for your most. up from behind his desk and I and fly - for the key and only perceived as half-full and ·those GPA-saving three unils [Cant. on 11 J TROLLING STONED, JUNe: 4, 1976 HE ORDS Muzac For the Masses' wi th one of the major Mu zac The Jefferson Tricycle outfits. Unfortunatey, th e The Jefferson Starship, elll officers were scared off by barrassed by their last effort, our Starship image. We have I n :t:J.JIJ" Good have decided to attempt to simply decided to change our The Beatles' Meat Tn,~.~ " James and the Fondels ca use your heart to flutter. change their image to fit their name so that our music ca n The Beatles . Tommy uses th ose famous music. Marty explained it to spread throughout th e dentist ondels, T om m y James fi n gers of his to best me thusly: "We found that offices of America." At long By Stoned probes in to . the depths of advantage . while playing the our Starship albums appealed last it seems tht the Jefferson The Beatles are back and r erogenous ZOnes. Whil e organ in the song 'T ouch and strongly to Muzac operators Whatevers have f9und their bigger than ever' It's hard to b elieve but John, Pole , parts of this record are hard Go." This song, like the rest and tried to arrange a contract place in the world. to handle, most of it will of the album, is good for George, and Ringo have re- ' cause tingling and tremors up some cheap thrills, but after a coupled. To say the least. it 's your spine and will excite you while it tend s to rub you the a relief to Mr. and Mrs. John through pulsations designed to wrong way. Q. Public who can now rest assured in the knowledge that their young daughters arc no longer corrupting themselves to thc likes of David Bowie or Mick Jagger. Mrs. Public was heard to exclaim, ") t's de lightful to see those clean-cut British lads again." The Meat album features remakes of old Beatles' tunes. All of them arc exciting but a few reaJly stand ou t. These include "All I've Got To Do (Is . Play With My Wazoo)," Jimi Hendrix on gUitar and "Not a Second Time (The Pigpen on keyboards would First Weren't Worth a Dime)," was all add the proper touch of and " It Will Be Long." Those for the Brothers. Caprio. decadence. Thus they were inocent young cubs also let it was brea thing down their called forth. At this point, the alJ hang out in "Mary Had a necks for a new album, but band tried to dig up a good Little Krishna" (written by none of the guys were there drummer, but the best they Ron Palody), "Till There Was t.o record it. Butch's back was could manage was Pete Best. Y(·)U My Pet Rock Had To st.i ll bad, Dicky, Jai Johnny, They did happen to resusci Do," and ") Want To Hold and the others were busy tate Cass Elli ot, hOWever, and Your Buns." doing a disco album in she was put to excellent use John Lennon gave us the Passed Out and Greg WaS qui te ·as a bass drum. inside scoop on the reunion. The Floors busy with his Me thadrine This album is a pleasure to "Actuall y," he said, "we were This record is a new low t.reatments as well as his new listen to. The band members never apart. We'd been crazy for The Floors. Most of the as head of the Food and show more life and vitality to split it up with us getting , tracks arc pure trash that rug Administration. than any live rockers around. all that. money and class lays, , .J would be better off if swept Things were becoming ra "Revival" is done in a particu not like Yoko, eve ry night i under a rug. The disk , itself, r morbid so it. was· decided larly poignant sty le and "Ain't and twice a day. Then that i has a disgusting yellow glow t Duane and Berry would Got No Time To Waste Away from wax build-up and is Blown Away bloke Paul got himself cracked I resurrected. This accom- No More" is also chilling. This scuffed by numerous heel T- Styx up in a cabbie. Doctor said it I it wa~ felt that some is a band that we'll surely be marks. In fact, the only place The recen t merger of the would be years 'fore he would li sts could be used, so hearing from for a long, long be alright so I spread those where .The Floors shine at all bands T. Rex and Styx has anis Joplin and Jim Morrison time. After all , ~IS Duane Paul is Dead rumors and is on their hit single, "I Love ' produced a hard-hitting act · unearthed. Having gone commented, "They ca n't kill people were so happy to find I t When You Sit On Me." called T -Styx. Their new far, it was decided that us if we're al!'eady dead." album wield s a hi gh qualit.y he was alive that they didn't brand of' Illusi c that is best notice that it was an imposter described as potent. It usuall y without a twit of talent. Now only takes a couple of tracks that the real Paul is ready before the li stener is over again, we're back to old times. whelm ed. The best song is Only wc shan ' t be touring for "To king in th e Smokehouse." a spe ll since Paul is still a bit A list en to this selecti on wi ll of a mess. The young lasses ce rtainly cure what ail s y~u. needn't worry, though, be An elaborate preparation pro· ca use he can playas we ll as cess makes the album a bit eve r with the three fingers expensive ($ J 6 and up), 'bu t he's got left and his tool's just the highs produced . during its fine . Man, we've been through use are preserved far longer some hard times, but I knew than in a normal disk. we could stick it out." Next Week: Turntable Reviews r1~O~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!'!'!!!~7~~~~~~TROLLING STONED, JUNE 4,1976 Rand Random Notes constructton Of Millikan Memorial "It's going to be a straight another notable in the same commencement, no crap ," field, disagrees. said Harold Brown producer/ BAGEL director of this year's semi The Physics Department concert "We felt that last was denied tenure yesterday. year's production was in BAGEL appropriate, and we received a The team of Dean and lot of complaints about the Fuller, who did an extensive light show and the lowering of tour in the area last year, will the elephan t. Personall y, I not be uniting in the near though t tha t tlie costume for fu ture. Rumors of a possible the elephant was appropriate _" concert came about because year will feature Jenijoy of the rerelease of several of (Boom Boom) LaBelle doing their singles abroad. notably her now classic Lenny Bruce "I've Got Th ose Chalk Dust imitation, immediately after on My Shoulde r Blues." the Benediction. 'There's no chance of a get BAGEL together although we're still Rum o rs that Monty friends." said Fuller. "Ah Python's Flying Circlls wi ll Brock. are you sure about take ove r the administration that ... " stated Dean. are blatantly untrue states BAGEL Hardly Mortal, figurehead for People are still talking that orga ni sa tion. "The about the bizarre vandalism of position offered the group," Peter Fay's office . According states Mortal "is actually one to investigating detectives, of relatively minor impor someone broke in and tance. Hardly more important smashed th e legs of all of than, say, the Humanities Fay's chairs with what appears department" To tal sala ries for to be, in police terms, "a the group should amount to blunt movie projector". Tough less than six figures, according luck, Pete. to Terry Gilliam. BAGEL BAGEL Sandy McCorkadale ad- Rumor has it that David mitted yesterday that hi s Smith intends to remove the attempts to form a newspaper 110-foot yacht tha t now have been a failure, but that resides in his o ffice and use it this will not deter him in the to form a univerSity. "It's future from trying again . about time we had a univer. Nobody associated with the sity in the Los Angeles area." paper agreed. states Smith. Bo~ Huttenback, Marina, to be built on Millikan Pond Site Paid eight-hour day, Jour hours oj coJJee breaks. AU work mwt be su~rvised, superoisors work eight-hour days, with Jour hours oj coJJee breaks staggered with those oj workers. cially when the Jets played a few chords amplified on their 48 Scheffer Special amps, breaking glass three blocks Apply at B$G Headquarters away. Since this was during their their medley of Kenny Rankin premiere, rumors hits, most of the audience was this weird and won visibly stunned. When they new group had been really cut loosewith their Blue ing. After th e release of Cheer- Led Zeppelin set, the album, call ed Album, survivors applauded for several .minutes. Most o f all , there was was announced, Beny and the Beny. Beny! She's really keen' have been going nowhere Standing there, a li ving up. Even so, it seemed ture of Janis J oplin and before they Bowie, excitedly twisting their largest steel bars as she sang, burn a date in up her nervous energy singing b~fo re a packed house' the Jets The Jets. frantical ly playing aU of the songs in repertOire simultaneously , at rtain time, the audience was ever -in creasing volume ' pins and needles, for which They're so spaced out'! upholsterers of Ramo To desc ribe th is concert as oundly apologize. In any anything but a unique the house tights went ience would be a lie . This the stage lights went one perform ance that you j and there , wonder of have to see for yoursel rs, was BENY' sin ce no review Clm give you Six-feet, three in ches tall , the fu ll feel. thout her electric neon So go on o ut and get your form boots a~d purple tic kets right now for the next glo mohliir- jump suit, local appearance ' of BENY easily dominated the (and the Jets, too, of course). stage. With the afore And remember, you read it in men tioned accou tremen ts , the this magazine! ffect was staggering,_ espe- -.any cafeteria. TROU.IN(; STONlill, fUN!': 4, 1976 11 / 0)//1. [rolll 6J wonderful heav ing feelings down one of th e wings. th e phySicist. I couldn' t tell rece n t I"r on t i er·of·thc·field this was clearly not going to It seems that every house who was kissi ng who any publica ti o n? " I slnirkcd and be that wondcrful dry variety LEERING in San Marino has th e ce ntral Illore. I think it was a matter wondered if he waS going to that nlace givcs you. I ducked area surrounded by wings of of mutllal affection. I picked lash out at my I:lce or kick into the nearest powder room bedrooms .- all put tll ve ry sOllie J o .~c Cuervo from a me in the groin. I didn't have alltl lert the remnants of my good use in th e cou rse of a passing wailCr and hunkered a chance to see either as the day's nutrition all over the AND party. This party was no down to jskin g sOllle tough wife of sO lll ebody (at th e stack of JACS hy the john. I different frnm all the others. questions: Ill y tape recorder insistence "f our bwyers) swca r that I don't. know if Just be ca use a man is the whirring and clicking in antici suddenly appeared in front of they could ever wa .~h those world's forelllost on fluid pation of hard news. me with her ri ght hand journals clean Or nol. This FROTHING uynamics is no reason t ( ) "What's your position on passing me a drink and her hrought me surti cielltl y a think hc's lost hi s sex ual IInd ergrad uat es at C.dtech'I" left hand groping for my rOllnd to wonder where Ill y prowess. Not that 1'111 the The pllysicisl reclined, let tin g bclt·buckle. I let he r tow me cohort in this edit ori,, 1 mad world's forcrnost proponent or the aspirant bailie off the out of thc 1O01ll while thc ness was. I worked down a AT expert. on nuid dyn:u llics, it's rabble before gelling on with faculty types hehilld me gri . back stairway spook ing thc just. something you li ve with. the im ponan tass-k issing. maced and fcll to disparaging sltit out of Some servant - and We carefully opened the "Undergraduates arc one of undergraduates once again. f() ulld my way out. onto tllC door to th e IIrst. rooll! on tlte the irnportant and vital as CALTECH ri ght at the top of the st,li rs street. pe cts of Caltech. I think The actors by their pre Co-editor was Si "So what Ih e fuck. SOllie sil-ed the music to ha ck up person swi lilming arollnd. I r Ihe entirc incredihle hap Ihal 's th c bes l slory you ca n pcning, The lilla l surge and Olill yuu migh I as we ll forge I LEERING AND orl\ asm see med 10 lasl for about Lil 15 and Iry some hours anei I could feel the SWC; lt or her body benea lh me challenge olh er profession. like maybe legiti mate sc ience - " as I ran Ill y Irand s Ihr,'ugh her " Idi ot," hc cut me off. ha ir. I still had tn wrile somc "Can'l you sec who she is and kind oJ' fu cking ncws story for FROTHING AT I whal she's doi ug." I sla red at Iny Ihree un its, but I couldn't you Ih e puul and began 10 real ize, thin k of what angle to at ta ck Illuch 10 my chagrin . Ihal it Ih e cnlire alTair from Co-edi was th e wifc of the presiden tor was probably as wrapped to break tial aspiran I. CALTECH up down Ih e ha ll as I was "M aniad" I cried. "'What here and I had nu desire to the mother-fu cking shit ha ve be rairiy easy and we edge d Wh en we had arrived at. the disturb him I felt as though I you donc l" I stared at her ou t way ou t of the party, it was quite clear Ihat could spe nd elernity just lying wal lowin g iu th e wa ter. room - hoping she'd neve r re the bul k or th e eve n twas ovcr the re running my hand ~y " I just gave hcr a sheet uf member eit her of us. Once the and thai the aspira nt had Ihrough Ihat lung hlack' hair hlot ter acid and now shc's door was shut il look uS fl own the coop wilh hi s wife. and stroking thc wonderfully Illol oring around in Ih e pool ahout thirly second s 10 reach But the parl y thai was st il l il l soft fl esh. So lhere. After thinking shc 's a God-damn the ila,;dd nOllnde r and get progress. 'It Ihe horn e of this scvera l dozen score gossip World IlIgbolll ." Ilc sagge d to the back On the road. The re was. distingltishecl AIt"c1 cn:ln , was munge rs have already chcwed gTll und and watehcd the wi Ie thankfull y, on ly one party cl ea rl y worth our lime. Des the mea l ovcr and b wade;)st it of a presidential aspiranl with facu lty types left. bUI pite eve ry muscle in my body to th e world. you have it tu ggin g a ga rbage scow out 10 th ere was still virtuall y no seeming li ght as a rusted directly from the horse's Record sea. I Ielt nl y mind exploding ;ICWS slury, We swerved suel lat ch, I headed down the mouth , I like ori ental women. and callie wit hin :In inch uf den ly to tire side of the road hal lways imlllediately, se'lrch Fine, Now we ca n all put my sa nit y or freak ing oul. I as co-edil or streaked the side ing lin tha t so ndrous room down our weaknesses and our had to gc t a grip un myscl f. of th e lI ounder with vo mil. that would lake nil' away open admissions and go to a for the This was San Marino and Ihis from Ca lle eh forever. neutral corn er. We might was a distinguished cumpaJ ly. II is (to d escribe il fi~lIra The room I fina lly stum know a lit tie more abou t each The .iu ry of my peers woul d lil1e(v) as if all IIlI lhor w<'I'e 10 bled into had a single Oriental other now, bUI it isn ' t going girl with long black hair most lock IIl e away ror good if the y mllke a slip oI Ihe pell, IIlId as to do any of us all that Illu ch fOllild ou t abou t tilis. I if this rierical arur becllme working ove r a hul plate, I guud. It's just a lillie more alrcad y saw th e DA ca lml y conciolls oI beillg sIICh. Pcr sniffed the air and rea lize d pleasant heca use it 's a litt lc nutmeg was afool. What Ih e asking Mrs. Aspirant if "You haps Ihis !VIIS 110 errol' hilI ill more honest. My drea ms wi ll miles h"d any ide;l why th esl' two a ji,r higher .I'<'/l.~e was all he ll . She beckoned me over remain nnlouched in rea lit y st lldents tried to slip you essentilll parI oI Ihc whole and I S;II down heside her. We through sheer fear of des these illegal dru gs') " expositioll, II is, lilell, (IS if holh drank down th e liqu id troying th elll, I tems pre I 10 and shoveled that god-awful traveled "Mercy Sakes no, I did, Ihis ('Icrim l error verI' dica ted on what rni ght he will however, have a very st ron g relloll 11K/lillSl Ihc alllhor, 0 11 1 residue int o ourselves, Aftcr wilher in agony ir a nega tive feeling Ihat it was for some oI haIred jiJr him, wae 10 that came the agony of fro m reality is eve r cast on thing tcrrib ly lerribly amora l. forbid ililll 10 correcl iI, (llId keeping Ihe crap down . I them Come, corne, To our in I could fee l fear and repulsion wcrl' to .l'ay, " No, I !Viii 1101 drifted "round th e room for neu tra I corne rs an d a sane rUllnillg all through IllC when he erased, f will sllll1d as II almost an It uur totall y obli retuTil to the story line. th ey appruached me." Whoa . willies.'" agaillst ,hee, thaI t!t ou vious of It er 'IS I t.ried to ge t tt turned out thai co-e dilor 30 days I'm st ill here :II poolside. arl {/ very poor writer. " the overwhe lming se nsa tion of was not as happily ensconced Got Ia do somethi ng. People (K ierkegaard) wanting 10 vomil my visccra as I was and hauled me down inside might come o ut and see ou t of Illy system all over the to t.he flaccid tlounder as the this thing. My body was all shoi to sky. li rst strcaks of thc rosy on skates "Gc t her ou t of the pool. hell as I'd been up these past Evenf.uall y I was up, and lingered dawn carn e out. I I'll lind an empty roolll." four days now and the found her up too. A Illcre couldn't ree l any difference "I low the shit ani I going l11id-nlOrnin g Ir ours were once eighty or ninely hours on, between lhe bed or th e by to ge t her uut of the pOOI"" again rol lin g by, The Sens;) now I had rea ll y shot my se lf concrete walk or the car. " Ma kc like a supcrlanke;." ti uns co l11in g from Illy ri ght full of it and I fell the Back at the room the I ki cked him in :lnd in stanily leg were totall y differe nt from sensations of my hea d take keyboard was attacked and I regre I tcd it. I forgo t abou til. those cOllling rrom Illy left leg ovcr as sex ual fan tasics ex plowed through these line s to fraternal the prev ious nolwi t hst anding. and Ihe images tha t kept ploded all along my pleasure make the deadline - my lin as I saw him collle partia ll y spinning my head arOllnd are cen ters. gers descending into velvet awake . He h:ld been hitting indecri bab lc. I have to give When you come to the end jell o and tlt en re-clllerging as th e eth er and if he 'd st ill been rny co-edit or credit for being of all this ben t and Iwi sted it OCC llrs to me that another siamese up I'd have had :I mess on Illy able to d rive the Ilaccid prose, yu u rcach the only rea l leUer rnight like its position hclllds Ihat all Ihe poop-scoops l111under :lnywhere wit hout part or it., but you neve r on Ihe sheet or paper. The in lite world cO ltl du ' l handle. ge tlillg LIS bu th ki ll ed. or rc;)li l-e thaI. More than alJ the clock is disp laying an ungod ly l3 y the tirnc I came down worse, busted . academia and all the drugs, mortling hour now and the twins." froul Iiud ing a rourn he had Bill nulhing wi ll ever slop t. he Ihing here that has bent boys at tll C offi ce must bc her Oul on the diving Ih e purslli I oJ' news, so I me mOTe Ilran anylhing else waiting .illst ror me, boarel - lying Ih ere multering began to Tlllllmage tJlfough Iras been "II those orient 'l] Frankly, it doesn't matter :Ibont ha ving tn be in dry th c Slash under th e front sca ts women, I Ine;lI1 , th cy really who th e in stitute presid enl is. dock. We c; trri ed her up a for somcthing that would send me ou t of my mind and The third fl our of Mill ikan is bac k stairwcll whil e we were bring my systeln up for thi s the re's nuthing I can do aboul going to wi lher awa y hefore il both Sin gin g While Railhil. last party, Co-edil or grunled il. I mcan . wltal ir I ap consid crs nncl ergr;r dua tes on . This could be ve ry bad, I (pupular I( )nll or coml11l1ni proached one and .iuSI we llt an equal footin r, with any Illoughl. as we trundkd her ca ti on. thai) and pulled a gL1 SS lot ally olT Ihe deql-e nd ? On c ol her part of Ca l te ch. Tire in I,1 th e roOIU and lodcd the via l from und er the Slee ring doesn't lal k to onc's dreams, faC ltll y Ill ee is again this morn doo r hehind us. ('olllllln. on e t rirs 10 onl y ex pcrien ce ing and I' ll have Ihal wr it ten " Do YOIl h;) ve an y d The Clamshell 4002. If safety in your home is importiJnt to you, it should begin here. The Clamshell 4002 is a fully automatic shell which exhibits a level of defensive ability unequalled Jfl the field of shellfish dwellings. Its tangential tracking of clam diggers at low tide permits rapid detection and escape . . An acknowledged masterpiece of shell engineering. Bivalva & Oyster Bivalva & Oyster of t.he Indian Oc('.an, inc., ,sJ,s Suroivul.orthe1itlRst Road, Madras, India. ~R~IFORNIA Tech Volume LXXVII Number 31 Published weekly eXl;(.'P1 <..luring eXnrn· How They ination Hnd vill,;;)ti o n peri ods by the' Finished Associa red Students of the California 'lYw f il{(mvlilf; I~ all ('Xen-pi W,(~ 57 %. de}) ls wilh 1I01lpernJ:lneilt resi· COlllmittee "spellt" 84'';;, of Institute o f T(~c hn o logy, Incorp oralerl. The opinio ns CXprt-!ssed in ill! nrtidcs jiwil /Jr, Fred Slwir 's reporl, We we re ailllinl\ I()[ a Ma y dent status ill tire ill eumillg the llIon ey we se t :is ll ur are strictly those of the ilulhors Jnd, CIS c/wimuJi) (1/ lit" ['res/ulIlIlI class size or an.lI lnd 230 in fre slul1:lIl class: we l,ad ()lI ly blldge!. l.ast ye:J r $202'()74 rio not necessari ly reflect the views uf' Adfllissiolls COlllmil In! , (In lite order 10 ail II for a class size of adlllil ted II . However, only was awarded to tlle illL:ullling the editors or of the carp or.lot ion . All rcsults of litis Y('iI r's admis 220 in October. f' or exalnp le, one ()f llie seven stud en ls freshlll:llt class: tlri s yea r we con tributio ns hecome the proper ty uf :1 Th e California Tor:h. .\iol/S pr(}('ccdillgs. We IIp!lr(' last yea r we had M:ry class admillcd who arc Ho I currenl "SpCllt" about $ 144,000. (Tir e Editors·in-Chicf ciaft' Ilis asSiSlfJ)){:(' ill lin'par size or 234 and ended lip wil h Iy in Ih e U,S. aceepled our budge l we spe nt tlris yea r waS AI Kellner illg it alld his kilii/})eSS iilr 222 in October, 1975. Such offer. It wou ld appear that $ 171,000.) Cnllsequ cntl y, lire Carl Lydick al/owillK liS 10 prilll if fiJI' decre ases arc due In defemrls studen ls frolll Illany countries Freshman Adlllissi()ns Com· Sandy McCrocodile yoltr infer esl alld stimlllllfioli. and permanent losses. eu r Business Manager such as Canada and several mittee, Ih e f'iuallcial Aid renlly, we have an incoming Ken Kroll It sltou ld be re ca ll ed tha t {rom Wcslcrn !:uropc could Omce. :lild Ih e Admissions lite prilllary goa l of tlte class of 23 4 : at Ihis ra le, we and slrould shoulder lire sa me Ornce call take priue ill tire Managing ...... Henry Fuhrmann wi ll probably end up with a Movies ...... Lewis HilshimolO I·reshrnall Admissions Com IIl1ancial burden as do U,S. fact that we have Itclped Books ...... DiJv(} Zelinsky mittee and lir e AdmiSSions cI;rss of around 225 in Oct students, Il owevcr. top Sill lIJillilllize lit e impac t or a very Food ...... Dick Beatty Oftlce is to field a hi gh-qll ,rI ober, 1975. dents from olhcr pla ces such clim cult Ilnallcial siluation Staff Writers ity freshlllan cloSS o f reason Tilis year wc h;rve 24 as l/()J1 g Kong, Taiwan , facillg tll c upp e r·cI~ss .IIu· G regg Brown, D publicatioll and the Tech Hold Those RE-Election I'll?'? criticizing the excesses of the Anchovies! The ford Call1paign IIIC. Reminder that the Pi zza lookin g for studcllt.s interes TWTYTW- OWl? in workin g 0 11 the presidcntia In ot.her ways, too, the Part y is Saturtlay (that's to bid for rec lec ti on. To the horror of everyone stopped f()r ASC IT elections, term C,Ulle to a bad end ; there morrow. if you are reading is evidence of premed-type this on t.ime), JUll e 5 at 4 inte rested (and willing (except se niors), th e adminis lo r great and wondrous things cheati ng in biology labs, sto p.rn . in t.h e Rkketts- Fleming ove rl ook the fac t tha t 1I1 0S t tration proceeded to ann oun ce h'lppell ed whi le th e above len assignlllen ts in 1.)5, EE 13 court yard. people \\I,J/I'I be votin g for an es timated 1\% increase in poll ing took place. and 14, und I'lst but not leas t. Ford ot. her th :rn as a first tuition scheduled to take Th e Feds , go t in volved in a breakdown of the Tech Hold The time, and thus, not as a elTect in Septel11b er, to be p;ly in g student. salaries, and an stafr. Pickles, Too! ree lection) ca ll ge t further ['urther compounded by a new undergrad Wo rk /Study pr o Yes, once again a major By the time you all ge t inforlllat ion by visi t in g calli fi Ilall cial aid sys telll all gram start ed np, all owin g th e part of th e edit o ri al stalT is b'lck ill tire fall . there wi ll be pai gn headquarters at 72 1 E. ll olll1(:c d 1,lt er in the YC'Ir. adlnillislratioll to bump th e abnut to retire, th e T(,('/I a Burge r K illg on CO /Ofild o (;reCII, or by calling Scolt at In responsc tll inqui ries se lf-help li gure up to abou t needs a Sports Edi t nr. an B I v d .. just no rt heast of 7% 41X4. rega rding th e contilluing emp two kilobucks. and thns rape En tert ainm ent Ed it or, a Fea campus a ways. Som ething Sport uf t.i ness or Millik an Pond over th ose alllong llS who tures Editor. and a Mallagillg should be dnne hI thank thcm Subm ission! Physical Plant adlnitteu that: Inaintained a good CPA in Editor. And worst of all , there for th e J nhll Denker Mcmorial An yone wishin g tn submit under th eir care, th e pOilU had hopes or getting ;1 greater won't be aJl Y fros " to suck Slab McDonald's Wh ere It S p()rl.~ tealn Wri tCllp S for the sust.ain cd se vere cra cks auu proportion of girt aid. in to these positi ons for an o Ilurts Scholarship. Keep it in Big T contact Mi ke Sc hwa rtz. now hau to un tJcrgo cos tl y Mea nwhi le, in the Cu n- th er three months. nlind. I 0 Ih h II e y . x 2 17 I or repairs. tinuing saga of th e Senior finally C,lm e th e GREAT Oak, Ph ysical Pl ant added a SCANDAL; an article ap retaining wa ll to keep the dirt pearing unde r th e bylin e of C. away from it s crown and give at the ICE HOUSE Y_ Achme! brough t to li ght it a few more yea rs of life. PASA DENA. th e fact that Dr. Jenij oy Now Thru Sunday 24 N _ M ~nl o r Then th ere Wa s th e Dccom Reservations Phone LaBelle had , des pit e grea t pression Chamber affair. in 681-9942 effo rt s on her part , been which a ce rt ,rin disgruntled THE BURGANS denied tenure and made th e undergrad dec ided to des troy MUSIC fro nt page . Th ere were_ unfor illl eight millim eter movie and COMEDY RICHMOND SHEPARD tunately. some fac1.ual errors pJ'()j ec tor because she tlid not DAN MURPHY in thc articl e, and th e qnes approve or th e movie being tion arose , "WJlO is C. Y. shown with it. Apparent ly Guest Lackey ...... David Flye Achm et'?" As 111 ore Mticles' ntH salisl1ed wit h the de struc ,------conce rning Dr. LaBell e ap t ion she wrough t, she de peared, it was disclosed by manded space in the Or/i iil';::e ,'&.1"*.1 '1500 E: WAlNXT7 .t .. McCorquodale that C. Y. ./ill'llia T~ch in order to '"t .., ...~ f" '1 11 ...... ,t of tfiUI . ~ •• " · ·i ~ . >. ____. _- - 'AUbIN. , .. . ' Achlllet Was his pse ud onym. furt her enfo rce her va lues on \.~II"' . ~ ~~:\~ alld that th e origillal 'lrtic/c the Cdtech COllllllUllity. waS base d Oil ill ("orlllat ion he The IHe decided to change CiEIIUIIIE aIlIES~ DISHES \J:., . .l ~.· ~ had rece ived in an "anony parking policies 011 th e Olive Family Style Dinners 'f ~ ~ In OIi S ph one call (heavens to Wa lk, but didn ' t foll ow LUNCH. BANQUETS • f OOD-TO-GO;, r~·" :: : Waterga te}. " This led to a through on the decision, as ~ Specia lizing in Fried Shrimp \~, vjgoruus campaign againsl I ~icarclo (~o m ez decided to McCo rqu odale ;IS he l11ad e hi s int ervenc with the decision PM bid for m-e lec ti oll as n'd, e OPE~Hi''[;'A~~I~~O~~: lS0~~~ i> ~,, ~.... milkin g process. . ... 44 .97 2 _. ~ Editor in th e ASC IT elections. In a gro te sque parody of rlI In the lirst heat , Groml ey pa rli amen tary proce dures (n o bec am e V. 1' .. Robe rt Chess onc th nllghl "I' fabling the got the purse st ri ngs, Bert motion). the 11-1(' vo ted to Well s took th e Director for cO lllpletely aboli sh th e gag Academic Alhir .~ pos t. K ~ II rule wit h Fl emin g. Ricket ts . Engineering majors appreciate ROllssea u beca me Direc tor for and of course Ruddnck di sse n ArtCarved construction. Social Acti vities, Okubo took ting. Sic ~elllfJ er Iy rallllis. over a.s Activ it ies Chai nnan. As luitl-April passe d. it was and " No" became tJl e T e('/I noted tha t 55 fema les had Edit or. "No" was later tli s bee n admitted to th e 111 - qualified for not being an CO inin g freshman c\ ;ISS, ;1 ASC IT member, and conse statisti c tl erla ted by 'UI abys qllcnt ly a fI.ln of'i' f(lr Tech mall y low acccpiancc rat e Edit.or as we ll as for other am ong th el ll lat e r. offi ces h;ltI to be held. A IllIc-alld -cry .~ t. a rt c cl up In the first run off, Bielecki wit h rega rd to 'In article hecalne Pres id ent, Ed Rea puhlished utld er the byline of took over as "'Cdlaiflnan, Ngal)llhi on th e subjec t of Wes tover and Fisher became RING aborti oll s, and thus bega n hi s Direc tors at Large, Toni demise as a l ed, colllnlIlist. McDonne ll became ASC IT sec Wh o says the Tech isn' t retary, and Chris Se xton took DAY res ponsive to the demands or of/[cc as BOC secrctilfy. Tlte th e stut.lent body? tcalll of Lydick, Ke ll ner. and A blow to all who looked McCorquodale was unable to forward t. o th e occasional defeat th e k ;un of Groat, reasonab le Bax ter Art Gallery II ilton, and Lockett, but exhibit was struck when it. shortly after th e runoff, WaS learned that fund ing {or Locke tt took a leave, ,III act the gallery had run out . which generat.ed more alii 111 0- sil y betwee n the two ca mps. perhaps never to be re I h.lt's w lWf1 till' ,\qC lrvt'd Finall y, in a second run off. pk llished. Sic lramil gloria. rI'PH'''t:lltd l iVI' wil l \It· llI'rp Throughout third term, a to Iwlp vou ... eleCI your wiJlning by a Jtlargin of about (" u ~ l {, n) - m a d, ' ,'olh-gt, ri l1j.! . ten votes, Lydi ck, Kellner, conflict developed between It ... ill"o till ' (l ilY VOU (~ln and McCorquodale hecame th e Tech Editors anti th e IHC , l h,'r~1' your Art(,lr\lI'd nng on M , I ~ l l. ' ( ( l1<1rg( ' or editors. But, my droogies , culnlinating witlI the IIIC , An AnClf Vl.'d Collq.!(' Ring is builr fO last:l lif ~ tirnl' . B.lnkArm'fl( <11 0 think not t.hat the world withholding the minutes from .It ::. 11I,I(h: h y a fin(' jl'wl'lry ('()mpany wi d ~:I rl.'pUI ;lIio n for crafrsmanship a nd qllil lit y. t\n y d eW 's thp d,IY to ;;ilV(' 1 h ..· ::.;11 111,: ('ornp:lIly Ih :lt m :lkl.'!' !I\l' world ~ hl'$ l · ~t' li i n g t' nf,!aJ,!<"n1t'nf and wn.ldillJ.,: rings. Ollll gold Ar tCarv('d ring SW if you pel Y Ifl ttlll. SI) d BEAT 0 1<'1<' I N THIS SPACE , . Nnw A rrCarv(·d has dc::. igl1l'd ;. ring t'sp"ciall y fl)f y<)ur school. vou IMY" stllnd.Hd df'rmit. CO,IlIl' In ;l~) d St'I' how you can rx'r:-,ol\;dil l' Y{lUI' clislom··m:ldc ArtCarvl'd ring Will, lhe Sc hool uf Engi lwerinl.! insignia, your da s~ YL'a r, L!cgn.. 'l' ;J n ci initials. College rings hy JUNE 9 II RTQ1 RVED World-famou't tor ANOTHER EXTRA FROM d i(l mond 38 941 1 4