I WANT TO DO THIS TO LINDA PERRY ONE DAY

Written by Justin Shady INT. LINDA PERRY’S HOUSE (BEDROOM) - DAY LINDA PERRY (50), former lead singer/songwriter of 1990s band 4 NON BLONDES, lies sleeping in bed. She stirs after a beat, opens her eyes, and YAWNS. Suddenly, the covers pull down to reveal JUSTIN SHADY (38) -- yes, me -- lying next to her in bed. But based on the shocked look on her face she had no idea Justin was in her bed. And that’s when he turns to her and starts singing the lyrics of her classic, 1993 4 Non Blondes hit “What’s Up?” JUSTIN (singing) And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed, just to get it all out, what's in my head. Justin pulls the covers back over his head. LINDA PERRY (confused) Hello? She pulls the covers back down, but Justin is now gone. CUT TO:

BATHROOM Linda Perry steps out of the shower wrapped in a towel. She pulls the curtain closed and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She squints and makes a face, unhappy with what she sees; it’s a low self-esteem morning for Linda Perry. After a beat, the curtain is pulled back to reveal Justin standing in the shower... where he continues to sing. JUSTIN And I... I am feeling... a little peculiar. And so I wake in the morning-- Justin pulls the curtain closed. Linda pulls it back open; again, Justin is gone. 2.

EXT. LINDA PERRY’S HOUSE - DAY Linda Perry steps outside in workout clothes as she prepares for a run. She stretches and INHALES deeply... as Justin jogs up wearing short shorts, wristbands, and a headband. He pauses in front of her and jogs in place as he continues. JUSTIN --and I step outside, and I take a deep breath and I get real high, and I... scream from the top of my lungs-- LINDA PERRY (sincere) What’s going on?!? JUSTIN Exactly. Justin jogs off.

EXT. PARK - DAY Linda Perry jogs through the park. JUSTIN (O.C.) And I say-- She looks up to find Justin standing at the top of a hill. He’s waving his arms back and forth as he sings-- JUSTIN (CONT’D) --hey, hey, hey, hey... hey, hey, hey... I said hey! What’s going on? Linda Perry is no longer confused. She’s pissed. She takes off after Justin just as she hauls ass up the--

HILL As she runs up the hill she notices Justin is no longer there. She looks around for him... just as he jogs up and approaches her from behind. JUSTIN Twenty-five years and my life is still... trying to get up that great big hill of hope... for a destination. 3.

Linda Perry shoves Justin. He falls back, as she takes off running for the top of the hill. When she reaches the top she realizes he’s already there lying on the ground and doing leg stretches. JUSTIN (CONT’D) I realized quickly when I knew I should, that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man... LINDA PERRY That song is over 20 years old! Shut the fuck up already! JUSTIN ...for whatever that means. CUT TO:

EXT. CHURCH - DAY An on-edge and frazzled Linda Perry walks toward her church for some comfort and solace. As she approaches the front door she notices a HOMELESS MAN sitting on the steps with his head down and his hand out. Hoping for some karma to come her way, she pulls a dollar out of her pocket and places it in his hand. He looks up. It’s Justin. JUSTIN And I try... oh my god do I try. She SNATCHES the dollar back. JUSTIN (CONT’D) I try all the time... in this institution. She runs inside the--

INT. CHURCH - DAY --hurries over to the--

CONFESSIONAL BOOTH --and gets inside. 4.

The PRIEST on the other side of the wall slides the screen open as Linda Perry kneels and makes the sign of the cross. LINDA PERRY Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. After a long beat of silence-- JUSTIN And I pray... oh my God, do I pray... I pray every single day... for a revolution. Linda Perry PUNCHES her fist through the screen and straight into Justin’s face. She exits the booth. CHURCH She steps out and notices Justin’s unconscious body (dressed in a priest’s robe) lying on the floor, half-in/half-out of the confessional booth. As she steps over him-- JUSTIN (CONT’D) (quietly, through a bloodied mouth) And I say, hey, hey, hey, hey... hey, hey, hey.... Linda Perry runs toward the exit. JUSTIN (CONT’D) (calling after) I said hey! What’s going on? Linda Perry exits.

THE END