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Interview with See The Big We Talk to Mr C Lebowsld on us! Robson Green IC to Annex Wye

ANDREW OFORI posed to Wye's Governors on 20 won't happen again." Mr Heeps March. A positive response to the saw the possible merger as Imperial College could soon offer will initiate a period of consul- "ground-breaking for agriculture" develop a green tinge to its fin- tation to discuss the terms and but went on to say that from a cyn- gers, as it has been revealed that conditions of the merger, it is ical viewpoint the real reason it is contemplating merging with thought that a merger with Wye behind IC's offer could be that Wye College. The agricultural col- College would work in a similar "environmental and agriculture is an lege, incorporating 850 students, is fashion to the current set-up with area of growth and likely to bring in currently a member of the Silwood Park, a research station in a lot of research." University of London but can no Berkshire that is part of Imperial Mick Selby, Union President at longer maintain its autonomous College, but runs its own adminis- Wye College, has a favourable out- status, and might have to affiliate tration. look on the opportunities a merger with a larger institute. The ICU President, Andy could provide, predicting that "the Wye College consists of a 350 Heeps, and his two deputies are student body would grow", and hectare area of farmland near already making plans for a visit to that there would be "more life for Ashford in Kent, and concentrates the Wye Union in order to acquaint the students having a connection its research in the fields of live- themselves with the institute. with Imperial." However, he stock, horticulture and crop cultiva- Although proceedings are at an claimed that as yet the college had tion. In recent years it has collabo- early stage Andy Heeps is already "kept the union in the dark". rated with IC and other research constructing a strict format for his Currently talks between the col- centres on environmental projects. role in the merger, which he is leges are informal, and any affilia- Canterbury University has been determined to abide by. He stated tion could not be installed before considering a merger with Wye "1 hope very much to have firm 2000. As Imperial attempts to College, leading to the IC governing details before I leave office" and is increase its influence, Andy Heeps board submitting a preliminary 'no adamant that "the pantomime that flippantly commented "it seems IC prejudice' offer that will be pro- was the medical school merge want to take over the world." IC Medics' Win Pitch Battle

ANDY KING half finished with Imperial Medics It looked as if Imperial Medics were leading by fourteen points to nil, the going to miss out, but then a superb This year St Mary's and Charing result of a penalty try and a try from breakaway resulted in us being Cross rugby clubs have combined back row forward Oli Waters, both awarded a penalty in the last min- to form a joint team; Imperial converted by Louis Grandjean. utes of the match. Many supporters Medics RFC. Results throughout Confidence was high amongst could not watch as Louis again the season have been excellent the IMRFC supporters as the second stepped up to take the kick, and with and so expectations were high for half began. Through better use of the a cool head hit it over the bar and a victory in the United Hospitals ball, however, UMDS were winning the match was tied at twenty points Cup Final against United all. Medical and Dental The UMDS play- Schools. ers seemed to suffer The match was held at * f * f more during extra The Old Deer Park in ^ i J& time as the strength Richmond with 1500 *^'<} of the IMRFC squad Students' spectators in attendance. shone through. In the Newspaper Tension between the second period an at Imperial opposing fans was high, excellent tactical kick with some particularly from Louis sent Andy College impressive banners and 'Fluffy' Sinclair racing cheerleaders on display off down the right from the Imperial Medics' wing to score an supporters. excellent try and seal Issue The first half saw the game for Imperial Spot the ball; IMRFC grapple with UMDS to win the cup. Medics. The UH 1110 UMDS applying sustained pressure on the Imperial Photo: Clare Ashwin Challenge Cup was Medics, winning the terri- collected at end of the 6 March torial advantage. A combination of in the forwards, managing to score game by triumphant joint captains 1 998 poor use of possession and excellent two trys and equal at seventeen all. lain Maclard and Simon Necquaye. counter attacking from the Imperial Their fly half then kicked an excellent backs, however, meant that the first drop goal to take them into the lead. IMRFC 31-20 UMDSRFC NEWS 6 March 1998 CCUs - Nobody News in Brief...

Cares: It's Official the evening of 16 March. DERMOT Rob Clark, currently Deputy DAVID ROBERTS ever-present New Election chal- President (Finance and Services) lenge. As a result of the recent res- MORGAN R.I.P for ICU, is standing for Vice This week's executive elections ignation of the sitting Guilds President (Finance and Societies) for both the City & Guilds Union President, Mr Common will take The sudden death of comic actor at the elections. He is the only and the Royal College of Science over immediately as C&G Dermot Morgan, made famous in candidate running for the posi- Union were marred by extremely President, picking up the reigns Britain by Channel Four's Father tion, and as ULU Council tradi- tionally avoids voting for New low turnouts. Although a full com- from Acting-President Alex Tylee Ted, came only one day after he Election, his chances are felt to be pliment of officers for 1998-9 have Birdsall. Elsewhere Jeevan Manala, finished filming the third series of good. now been elected for both Selina Vinayaga-Pavan and John the highly popular show. Whilst Constituent College Unions, a Quantrell all emerged victorious, as holding a dinner party at his Nick Dunnett, a Royal turnout of below 5% in each elec- Vice President, Honorary Secretary London home last Saturday night, Holloway student, is running for tion - just half of last year's figures and Honorary junior Treasurer Morgan collapsed to the floor Vice President (Sports). His candi- - raises questions concerning both respectively. The Guilds Executive with a suspected heart attack and dature has caused controversy: the election procedure and the for 1998-9 is completed by Pete was rushed to a nearby hospital, Charlie Joynt, currently ICU perceived relevance of the CCUs to Burge, returned as C&.G where he died shortly afterwards. Deputy President (Clubs and IC students. Association Representative. All Friends have commented that the Societies), was particularly star burned himself out, ironically scathing in his assessment of Mr In the RCSU elections, Katy posts were contested by just one just when he was starting to Dunnett's chances, denouncing Nolan was returned as President, candidate. receive the critical acclaim for him as "shit" and asking "where with a comfortable 98 to 45 victo- The low turnout is a source of which he had striven so hard. His did this guy come from?" ry over New Election. Bob Walker deep concern within both Unions, early career was more than tinged and Douglas Graham also secured although no-one is prepared to The other posts being con- with controversy; his highly satiri- easy wins over New Election, as point the finger of blame. An analy- tested are President, Vice cal radio series Scrap Saturday Vice Presidents for Clubs & Events sis of the figures shows just how President (Welfare and Student (1990-92) was a phenomenon and Education £v Welfare respec- deeply the problem runs; for exam- Affairs), and London Student which became required listening tively. In the only contested elec- ple, a meagre three voters turned Editor. for the Irish public, with the show tion, that for Vice President out in Civil Engineering (out of 500 even being quoted into the record (Finance), Simon Torn squeezed students), and just nineteen votes of the Irish Parliament. RTE, the through by a tiny margin of just 3 were required to secure victory in Irish Broadcaster, pulled the show votes over William Bently on the the Physics Department Represen- LORDS DELAY at the height of its popularity after second reallocation of votes. tative election from over 800 political arm twisting; they In C&.GU, Hamish Common potential pollers. FEES refused also to show Father Ted, a won through by 127 to 17 over the surreal yet insightful journey into The Secretary of State for religion, citing the show's anti- Education, David Blunkett MP, Irishness and its mockery of vowed this week to overturn the Catholicism as reasons. Rapidly Government's defeat in the gaining a cult following on both House of Lords over its Teaching Student Mugged near sides of the Irish Sea, Father Ted and Higher Education bill. The bill, will bow out permanently at the based on the Dearing Report, end of the new series. Dermot would require students to pay Morgan was a great comedian; in tuition fees of around £1000 a Science Museum the mould of Bill Hicks he year. The Conservative amend- eschewed the establishment, ment to freeze grants at current ED SEXTON & JON TROUT tracking process. They were unsuc- clawed it down and rose above it. cessful however, and the men are levels was passed by 143 votes to An irreplaceable talent, be sure to 102. A second amendment, also A student of Imperial College still at large. The student was taken see him in his final work at his proposed by the Conservatives, was mugged last Sunday night. to hospital, but fortunately is dazzling best. which would guarantee UK stu- The student was walking up believed to have suffered no per- dents at Scottish universities their Exhibition Road at around mid- manent damage. funding for the full term of their night, on his way to Southside Ken Weir, Chief Security degrees was also passed. Blunkett Halls, when he was stopped by Officer, did not think that the men condemned the Lords' decision, three men near the Science were targeting students in particu- ULU ELECTIONS announcing that Labour would Museum. The men threatened the lar. He believed that the attack overturn it in the House of student with violence and pro- was a random incident, based on Unbeknownst to most Imperial Commons in time for the next duced a knife, forcing him to hand opportunism. He did however students, elections for the sabbat- academic year. Andy Heeps, ICU over ten pounds, his credit and warn students to stay alert when ical positions in the University of President, denounced the bill as switch cards. They then squirted out at night, and not to display London Union are taking place "the thin end of the wedge - some liquid of unknown composi- cash or valuables when in the this month. Unlike the recent sab- where will it stop?". Citing the tion into his face, before running street. He also advised students batical elections at IC, voting is example of the student loans sys- off. not to travel ak>ne at night. Any not open to all ULU students, as tem he added; "What is really sad The student immediately went students wanting further advice this would involve the unfeasible that people will act like sheep and to college security, who informed can contact security, who have processing of around 100,000 pay up without a fuss." the police of the incident. Security produced a leaflet concerning the votes. Instead the positions will and the police searched for the issue. be elected by approximately sev- men, using dogs to help in the enty delegates to ULU Council on 6 March 1998 NEWS

Attack of the Green Rag in Drag

CLARE ASHWIN squad, donned in surgical greens, Wellingtons marked their entrance with the After rumours of baked bean opening bars of Carmina Burana, attacks and the infamous hit music that will for evermore strike DAVID ROBERTS a one-day London-wide radio sta- squad, you might have been for- fear into the hearts of first years. tion backed by the Duke of given for hibernating for the Anyone unfortunate enough to An estimated quarter of a million Westminster's millions. duration of rag week, but there have a price on their heads was demonstrators descended on The marchers' main protest was was no escape. shown no mercy and copiously London last Sunday for the against the government's attempts Rag 98 kicked off with the covered with shaving foam. 'Countryside March', the biggest to ban fox hunting. Although opin- Foreskins; four brave souls raised Rag Week reached its peak on organised ion polls money by having their heads Thursday with the last ever Charing protest in the reflect a vast shaved, as the hair was ceremoni- Cross rag review, a hilarious combi- UK since the majority in ously auctioned off to the cheering nation of sketches from CND rallies of favour of ban- supporters in the Reynolds Bar. A Trainspotting to an Indian restau- the early eight- ning the hunts, variety of events were planned rant. The hit squad carried out their ies. They had many of the throughout the week: Monday annual abductions: Unfortunate congregated to protestors felt evening started off with a barn victims were subject to interroga- voice their fears that a ban dancing session, followed on tion and packed off to Wales, that the gov- would destroy Tuesday by a comedy night with returning the next day with missing ernment are a way of life, Charlie Cheese - Man of the eyebrows. The traditional London marginalising both for the Seventies - met which some inter- invasion involved persuading rural issues, cit- landed aris- esting reviews from spectators. unsuspecting tube passengers and ing government tocracy who On Wednesday night the tourists to part with their cash. The backed moves enjoy the Reynolds Bar was transformed into grand finale was the joint ICSM Rag to ban fox- 'sport', and the home of the celebrities as Stars Ball at Lloyds of London. Amazing hunting and their employ- in their Eyes boasted the likes of outfits were plentiful, ranging from introduce the Photo: Alex Feakes ees, whose Tom Jones, Lionel Richie, Abba and the Spice girls (after a sex change), 'right to roam'. livelihood is The Village People. The night was Cleopatra, Elvis, and Titanic, to More than two thousand dependant on the industry which won by Mike (the Bar Manager) as name but a few. coaches and twenty-nine special surrounds the hunts. As a result of Marvin Gaye. The celebrations con- The money is still being count- trains were laid on, delivering the the march, the government have tinued with a bar extension and ed and the final amount will be marchers to the Embankment for now backed down, and are sug- more strikes from the Charing revealed shortly - all proceeds go the 10.20am start. Kitted-out to a gesting that legitimate hunts will be Cross hit squad. The fearless hit to Cancer Research. man in green wellies and anoraks, "certified", and allowed to continue. they carried a bizarre mix of plac- Although widely regarded as a ards; "We Support Blair Coursing", success, there were notes of dis- "Scottish Terrier Men Say No Way", sent along the way. A small group "For Fox Sake, Listen", "Let The of anti-hunting demonstrators hud- I Cows Moo" and "Buy British dled together in a corner of the park Cheese" were just some of the slo- in opposition, but without any gans on offer. Over the next few speeches from the organisers of the hours, the organisers claim march, they seemed completely 284,500 people completed the purposeless. The only serious HAIRSALON march, from the north bank of the opposition came from a group of Thames, through Trafalgar Square protesters who hijacked the March 15a Harrington Road and down Piccadilly, to the finish in FM frequency, drowning out the South Kensington London SW7 3ES Hyde Park, where they passed official programming with their own (1 Minute walk from South Kensington Tube) under a huge banner saying "Finish", 'Hunt Saboteurs Broadcasting as if it was the London Marathon. Corporation', which, in the best CUT & BLOW DRY Along the way, the marchers were countryside tradition, told the joined by the sounds of March FM, marchers to "Fuck off our land". BY OUR TOP STYLISTS £15 LADIES £13 MEN Normal Price £30

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6 March 1998 LETTERS Letters to Felix...

READ THIS NOW happened. Tickets will be available SAO BUSINESS soon from the Union Office, we The Summer Ball, So What's it all hope to see you there. Dear Editor about then ? Summer Ball Team I refer to two recent letters Hopefully you will have noticed (Felix 1 106 and 1109) from stu- that the Imperial College Summer dents complaining about treatment Ball is happening this year, but SETHI RULES received in the accommodation where did it come from and what office. Imperial College tries very does it actually mean? Dear Felix, hard to do a good job in accom- The whole thing came about just to let you know I found a modation and, in my experience, because we wanted to celebrate room at the toilet end of the usually succeeds. Inevitably, how- the end of the year with style but, southside bar (literally the toilet ever, things sometimes go wrong unlike just about every other end for those of you who think this and there perhaps remain ways University, Imperial didn't have a is a vague indication of it's location) their operation can improve. Summer Ball. Imperial is a presti- last Thursday. Anyhow, it turned The college Residences FELIX out to be the imaginativley named gious University and yet there is no Management is very keen to get to prestigious event to reflect our sta- Southside Disco and through what the bottom of this business. If the Issue 1110 tus. We thought we'd do some- 1 gathered was mostly the efforts of students who wrote are in a Hall of thing about it. DJ AI;ck Sethi it was transformed in Residence, they should go to their A lot of people have said that to the coolest , most laid back Warden and discuss the complaint. 6 March 1998 the event seems very expensive, atmosplace in the college for chill- If not, I'd invite them to contact and we admit that £45 isn't cheap, ing after spending a hard portion me and allow me (in confidence if vwvw.su.ic.AC.uk Felix but we would like to explain what of the week being a student. If your necessary) to see if we can sort the people will be getting for their idea of relaxing involves cool tunes problem out. Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort money. The cost per head to run and space then you could do a lot I'm contactable on Road. London. SVV7 2BB the event is around £80 (without worse than checking this venue j .hassard@ic .ac.uk. internal tei: 58072. fax: 48072. making any profit), the difference out. IC radio can only be encour- regards External tei fax: 0171 594 8072. being met through subsidy and aged to promote this venue and John Hassard Urgent our-of-hours internal: sponsorship. It may help to bear in maybe spend some cash on decor. Warden Selkirk and Tizard Hall 48086, external: 0171 594 8086. mind that a typical Oxford May Ball Respect to Al;cks' Electric Cafe Email: [email protected] this year will cost around £75 per for showing what can be achieved ticket. The ticket price will include a with the college facillities if you're WHY OH WHY? Felix is produced for and on behalf three-course meal, drinks, a live prepared to get of your arse and of Imperial College Union band, a casino, travel to and from do something and for giving us a Dear Sir, Publication Board. the event all topped off with a styl- real treat. Hopefully the Electric We are indeed deeply hon- ish range of high-calibre entertain- Cafe will become a fortnightly oured to become aligned with such Felix is a registered newspaper ment. event and if you can spin some luminaries as College Catering, the ISSN 1040 - 0711 Another misconception is the vinyl get in touch with IC radio to Labour Party and the European scale of the event. Alexandra get a slot Commission by having been Copyright @ Felix ISX>8. Photo- Palace is a huge venue - we have a Alan moaned at by Simon Baker in his graphic copyrights remain with capacity of two thousand people column for you esteemed organ. photographers. (although we are expecting nearer Yours faithfully, a thousand). This will be unlike any MILEN BACKED Martin Frost (RCSU Publicity Printed at the Imperial College other event you will have seen at external) Union Print Unit, Beit Quad, Imperial. 'Sup Felix! James S Farrer (RCSU Publicity Prince Consort Road, London, It's also worth noting that the First up, NO-ONE disses my internal) SW7 2BB. Tel: 0171 594 8071. event is open to everyone - stu- shorty, Milen, and Dave, if 1 ever Email: [email protected]. dents (undergrads and postgrads), see yo' goo-for-nothin'-IC Radio- Congratulations, publicity offi- staff and Alumni of Imperial as well listenin'-sorry-lookin'-tired-ass- cers. You have suceeded in publi- Credits: as their guests. We want it to be narrow BEHIND, I'ma blow your cising the fact that you are a pair Editor: Jeremy Thomson representative of all members of brains out muthafucka and you of petty, sarcastic, self-impor- Editor without Portfolio: Imperial and we would really like to best believe it, brutha, word is tant, sad little men. If you spent Mark Baker see people from all corners of the bond! a little more time doing your job News Editor: Ed Sexton. globe turning up in their countries Now, if you actually believed a instead of fluffing up your own Photographic Editor: formal dress. word of what I just said, you're an feathers, perhaps you wouldn't Tom Deltombes You may wonder why we have even bigger twat than I thought you have been criticised in the first Music Editors: gone to the trouble of organising were and for thinking that all the - place. Frankly, if I was writing the Jason Ramanathan and Alok Jha the event. Most of us on the team isms in Tha Bomb are for real. column, I would have written the Film Editor: Chris Hickey already have jobs, so we're not just same thing. Now go away. Arts Editors: Danuta Pieter &. doing it for CV points. We are Juila Harries doing it because we want to go to Features Editor: Jon Trout a ball - a night we will remember Literary Editor: William Lorenz for the rest of our lives. Sports Editor: Jake Thome This is the first event of it's kind Deadline for letters is 6pm Tuesday. Letters may be edited for Games Editor: Mark Baker and you have an opportunity to be length, but will not be altered or corrected in any other way. Right Hand Man: David Roberts part of it. If it's a success then it will Letters may be signed or anonymous, but please show your swipe become part of Imperial's heritage card when submitting them. and it will be thanks to you that it LETTERS 6 March 1998

The inefficiency and general poor cle was inevitably prejudiced. treatment received by Shin Yi Jeng WATERSTONE'S Members of the fourth team have and friends may be no surprise, described their behaviour as loud THEIR PETTY but there is something here I WARNING and boisterous, as the bar evenings don't understand: If they wanted of sports teams tend to be, but ARGUMENTS an Anglo-German society, then Dear Felix, hardly abusive until they were dealt why the hell couldn't they have Whilst 1 would love to believe with in a confrontational and inap- Dear Felix, one? It is ludicrous to say that that Waterstones are "just firing a propriate manner. I am writing to clear up the sea of their aims were "incompatible warning shot", I remember wanting The tone of the article is also inaccuracies regarding German with the aims of the OSC" and to think a similar thing about the unfortunate - it seems to be advo- Society which have appeared in the outrageous that they were bookshop a couple of years ago. 1 cating severity to the disciplinary last few editions of Felix (issues excluded and forced to change hope that Felix continues to cover committee, which is hardly Felix's 1105, 1106 &. I 107). Shin Yi Jeng their constitution. The CSCs are this issue well (and that IC students role in college - as is the reference wrote in his letter (1 105) that it there to support students' clubs read it!) so that a Bookstore Mark II to comments attributed to the took three months for OSC to clear whatever they are, and certainly cannot occur. club's captain, Donal Keane (please German Society but by my calcula- not there to dictate what they can Thanks, note the spelling), which he cannot tions it was just over a month. and cannot do. Ed Karen Yates (Physics 4) remember making and especially Anglo-German Society approached not in the context that they were the Overseas Students Committee Dear Felix, presented in. The club's players in mid October 1997 for a decision We are writing to clear up a OFF! often play twice and train once a regarding their new society. They number of points that have been week, and the teams' performances had submitted a constitution and a raised in recent weeks with regard Dear Jeremy, this year have reflected their efforts list of seconders late the previous to the Anglo-German Society (now Re Red Card for Football - a ULU cup final this Saturday for year but this had been lost by the German society) and the confusion Fourths the firsts and the best results of any Union over the summer. To speed that surrounds the acceptance of I am writing on behalf of the London college in BUSA - and find things up for them we waived the the club. football club committee as it is felt it disheartening when they seem to need to see a new seconders list The Anglo-German society there are several issues that need be under attack from the very organ and, as with all new societies, came to a meeting of the Social to be addressed. The incident at that should be lauding their efforts. reviewed their constitution. We Clubs Committee (11/11/97), Bath was regrettable and does not While we realise that students found several points to be incom- where the matter of them joining bring credit to the club, union or can only spend so long on their patible with the aims of the OSC, SCC was debated by the attending college - this is not in question. Felix investigations, articles that are including their name and several of chairs of SCC clubs. It was noted However, the article in question a little more considered would be their objectives. I explained that in that the aims of the proposed club was one-sided and unfair. As far as appreciated. order to be accepted by the OSC duplicated another (ERASMUS), 1 am aware, no-one from the foot- Yours sincerely, they would have to change these and that the coexistence of the ball club was contacted before the Simon Dunsby (deceased) points because their aims empha- clubs would be detrimental to both. article was written and so the arti- sised British-German relations They were advised to reapply to rather than promotion of German the OSC, who accepted them as culture, but Anglo-German Society the German society less than two HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS themselves decided that they weeks later. would prefer to keep their constitu- In total, the SCC was involved tion as it was. in this process for less than one I then suggested SCC as the month. CSCs do not meet more next avenue to explore since soci- regularly than once a month (to ! HAIRCUT eties such as Irish, Welsh, Sikh and save bureaucracy). The CSC system Tamil Societies, which do not read- works, and succeeds in being what ily fall under the OSC banner, it is designed to be — a facility to £8.00 belong to SCC. However, SCC were run clubs and societies by students unwilling to take them on. Contrary for students. UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX to Mark Baker's information Yours, INCLUDES: (1107), the matter was then Caroline Gibbons, SCC Chair referred to Rob Clark, the DP (F&S) Karen Yates, SCC HJT =V CONSULTATION with stylist to discuss your style, try (there was no DP (C&S) at the a new look and learn how to manage and control your hair. time), who thought it best that they join OSC. Anglo-German Society Dear Felix <3c" SHAMPOO followed by Herbal Conditioner and scalp duly changed their name (to It was very encouraging indeed massage. German Society) and two of their to have received so many support- objectives and joined OSC by late ive responses in the last two weeks

High-Performance PC for Sale <* Brand new Cyrix P200 MMX CPU - very fast * 32 Mb super-quick 10ns DIMM memory "* , (4 i (HARITY Superb 14" Royalc Monitor, 1024x768 pixel, auto sensing THE r Latest Pentium motherboard with super bus-mastering and SLAVE AUCTION USB support. For Sale New 16 speed IDE CD Rom drive FELIX sr 1.4 Gb Seagate Hard Disk » Andy Heeps, President 1Mb Cirrus graphics card (not so hot) "* Charlie Joynt, OP C&S WEEK Floppy drive, keyboard, mouse & mini-tower case Dave Hellard, Pres Elect MONDAY Katie Armstrong, Pres ICSM Arts Meeting - noon. For all inter- Runs Quake like it's going out of fashion! Nick Carter, DP ICSM ested in exhibitions and theatre Andy King, VP SMMSU Features Meeting - I pm. If you A bargain to £650 Alex Tiny-Birdbrain, C&G want to write or layout features, Call Jeremy on (0171 59)48072 day, (0171 59) 48086 eve, or Katie Nolan, RCSU Pres El take photographs, or just have an email [email protected] Helen Louise-Windsor, idea, come along. Books Meeting - noon. RCSU President TUESDAY Hamish Common, C&GU News Meeting - I pm. For all President Elect writers, researchers and POSTGRADUATES Natasha Newton, ICU photographers Accommodation Officer Film Meeting - I 2 noon. Get free Alistair Fox tickets to top films. The entire C&GU Exec

All for sale to the highest Madness all day 9am - 3am. Not and academia c and social events designed bidder at the Slave Auction, recommended for the uninitiat- midday on Tuesday, Union ed. Concert Hall. Be There. for you? FRIDAY News meeting - 1 pm. Like those primary school bring and buy Meet Friday 13 March, 12.30pm, Brown Committee Room, sales, only for news. Union Building. Email [email protected] Music meeting - 1.30pm. Yes, yes, free stuff etc.

ENSINGTON COMMITTEE OF FRIENDSHIP FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS r Small Ads make friends Wanted: People interested in term three and beyond. Contact & explore london making, and using radio con- Mark in the union office for trolled models. The RCC Radio details, or ring x48068 or email Modellers club is seeking new [email protected]. with the society for young people from all countries members, no previous experience necessary! The club owns a great ULU Debating Society deal of equipment, including This house would welcome radios, fuel and batteries. In addi- Eastern Europe into the EU. Guest tion, there are many built or half speakers: George Schoflin (SSEES), built planes, gliders and cars. Anthony Robinson (Financial EB3EE1 Meetings are held every Tuesday Times) and Charles Dumas. at 5pm in our own workshop, just 7.45pm, Wednesday 10 March, through the main workshop (room Palm's wine bar, ULU Building, 190) in mech eng. Email r.hop- Malet Street. All wecome - Free [email protected] for more details, or wine and snacks. just turn up! Drugs Debate Citroen AX 14 TZS for sale A chance to take part in a radio CESEBgi E Reg, e/w, lots of history, full debate to be broadcast on Radio dealer service and MOT last One on Sunday. Hosted by Steve November, tax Lamacq and starring celebs such until May £I300ono a.bettin- as Irvine Welsh, the program [email protected] or phone Adam requires an 'active audience'. X57121. FOR DETAILS RING 0171 5893980 Whether you're for or against I.C. internal extension 494D5 legalisation, if you're free from KENSINGTON COMMITTEE OF FRIENDSHIP FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS Calm under pressure? Good in a 6.30 to 8.30pm this Friday, call

13 PRINCES GARDENS LONDON SW7 1NE team? Then we need you. 1CU Rachel Jones on 01 71 765 3727 to needs new union stewards for take part. We are open from 10.30am to 5.,'lOpm Monday to Friday WHERE WILL YOU BE LIVING IN 1998/99?

YOUR ACCOMMODATION QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Where to look

Deposits

Contracts

Inventories

A talk given by ULAO staff in association with the Student Accommodation Office

DATE: Wednesday 11 March TIME: 5.30pm

PLACE: Room 220, Mechanical Engineering

20 minute Question & Answer session to follow 6 March 1998 COLUMNS

thick sausage shape, fold it in three ML? LTD lengthwise, give it a quarter turn and repeat. You'll need to do this for about ater 10 minutes by which time your forearms will burn and you'll be cursing my name but rest If, like me, you're sick and tired of kak industrial bowl, sprinkle the salt onto it. assured, 1 don't care. bread that has no consistency or taste, then pay Make a well or dip in the middle of the flour, Your dough is now ready to rise. Grease your attention. To come up with this recipe, I've taken pour in some of the oil and mix well with your bowl with some oil, put the dough into it, cover four or five different sources, mixed them up, hands (yes, hands so make sure they're clean). with a damp cloth and leave in a nice warm place boiled them down to their essence and then To test whether or not you've put enough oil in, until it has doubled in size. through trial and error brought forth something take a handful of flour and squeeze it. The flour Once the dough has risen put it back onto which is (I reckon) a good compromise between should just about bind into a solid lump but the clean surface, punch it violently 2 or three complexity and result. That is to say, it's not too crumble easily. times and then start kneading it again. Same much hassle and it tastes alright. technique as before and hopefully your arms Now it seems to me that most people are should have recovered by then. Do this for just a scared of using yeast. Yes, it is alive but no it couple of minutes, add a few herbs and things to won't eat you. I can, however, almost guarantee the dough if you fancy and then put the dough that your first attempts will not be spectacular, into greased baking tins (only fill up to half way) but you will soon hang of it. (this recipe will make two one-pound loaves) or Anyway, less rubbish more action. The liquid cut it up into balls to make rolls or whatever your volumes are approximate as they depend on lots imagination can come up with. The dough now of thinks like how damp it is, what sort of flour needs to rise again to make it nice and fluffy. It you're using etc so they vary from time to time. Now pour in the yeast and mix thoroughly. should at least double in size but don't leave it You will need: Add the rest of the water a glassful at a time to too long or the whole thing will just deflate like * 3 pints strong white flour start of but be wary after about 2/3 of the pint, leaky fart bag. (About 1 kg don't you know) you don't want to get the dough too soggy. This Once risen to your heart's content, bake the «* 1 pint warm water is the tricky consistency bit. 1 reckon the ideal is bread in a preheated hot (210°C, gas mark 7) About 1/2 wine glass of oil (olive if you're a dough that comes off the bowl cleanly but just oven. Rolls take about 15 minutes, loaves 30 -35 feeling rich) leaves bits sticking to you hands when you pull minutes. To check that the bread is cooked, take r 1 tbl salt them out. it out of it's tin and tap the bottom. A hollow * 1 tbl dried active yeast Now for the hard bit, kneading. Find yourself sound means it is cooked. «" 1 pinch sugar a clean surface and plonk the dough onto it. To Piece of cake eh? Start off by diluting the yeast and sugar in a start off, just flatten the dough out and fold it One last tip: for some reason (which I'm sure glassful of the warm water. This is to get it going back onto itself, twist it, beat it, squidge it and some spod can come up with), bread making and generally happy. It will take about 10 min- generally take your stress out on it. After a cou- usually goes pear shaped if the weather is very utes to start bubbling and foaming if your kitchen ple of minutes the dough will become more elas- unsettled or thundery so don't bother kids. is reasonably warm. tic and will stop sticking to your fingers. This calls Antoine Put the flour into a large and preferably heavy for a change in tactic. Roll out the dough into a

The ICU Cypriot, French, Hellenic, Italian & Spanish Societies Present 1 50 years of pain and hope' fc present A Palestinian week marking 50 years of Israeli occupation 9th-12th M„nh

Mon 9th : Debate ' 50 years on', speakers include: la Fiesta Jewish Chronicle editor, Times Newspaper cdilor, &PLO general delegate to the UK

Plaee: Old Lecture Theatre jjpca-uNia ^ SOAS, nearest station: Russell Sq. 6,30 for 7 pm

fuc 10th : Documentary: 'Music in the line of fire', TONIGHT! (06/03) 8.30pm - 2.30am Channel 4 commissioned film

Main Dining Hall Place: Room G2 SOAS, 6.30 for 7pm

Live Bands Wed 1 !th : Palestinian cultural exhibition Featuring: Paintings, Embroidery, and Palestinian produce Loads of Food Place: Junior Common Room, Plenty of Sangria SOAS Disco Starts 12pm Bar until 2am Thu 12th Film: Tale of the three jewels' A tale of life under occupation

Tickets: £2 £4 members, £5 non-members place: Lecture Theatre 1 Opp. Madam Tussauds Westminster Univ., 6.30 for 7pm (Food and sangria included!) Nearest station: Baker St.

Tickets on sale at lunchtinre in the .ICR and tonight on door Fri 13th Palestinian Party An evening of live music, Dabkch, dinner and dance 0 COLUMNS 6 March 1998

Schadenfreude is in abun- problem. Though we all know that official support for the Office has fire with fire. This is called profes- dance in ICU at the Waterstone's are here, few of us been conspicuous by its absence. sionalism. The problem here is not moment. Not unsurprisingly, the know exactly what's going on at Like Clive Wells, I do not know the so much the staff, many of whom Union must have collectively any particular time. Special offers details, but I must say my treat- are very good, but the system. The smiled when they heard of are not promoted beyond a sign in ment there has always been pass- system does not acknowledge that Waterstone's predicament. It the window. They should be able, though not worthy of any we are customers. Commercial would seem that not enough peo- advertising offers and new editions customer service awards. The activities at Imperial need to be ple are buying their books. every week in Felix, for instance. whole saga does raise one point more customer-focussed, to use Naturally, Waterstone's are not too Their current problems do not that really annoys me, namely the that horrible Americanism. If man- pleased about missing their targets need the likes you don't hear agement instil this belief into their by, if the rumours are true, 30%. of Sir John the abuse that staff, things will change. Being nice This must be dealt with, but Harvey-Jones to our staff have to to people is not something that expanding into stationery is a non- solve. This is CD endure' excuse, most of us do automatically, as starter on two fronts. Firstly, as easy to fix, and tendered every you realise from reading this col- suggested in Felix last week, does not time anyone umn, and if we can avoid it, we College should put a stop to this. require 'nui- DQ moans about will. If we are told that we must be The lease, in a departure from sance or annoy- poor service or nice, we generally are. In fact, a lit- usual College procedure, is water- ance' to the C truculent staff. tle more professionalism through- tight- section 5.9.1 says that they Union, which as This seems out this place would go a long may sell books, tapes, journals and part of Imperial, o predicated on way. suchlike and 'no other merchan- is banned under the belief that IC dise.' Interestingly, they are per- section 5.9.2. students are all Finally, a cautionary note for mitted to sell 'academic software', Stop whinging 00 neanderthal mobile phone users. Cloning, so my advice is to screw over the and start man- thugs, whereas which can be very expensive and College Computer Shop, rather aging, ladies and gentlemen. everyone else in the country inconvenient, may be something than the Union. It goes on to say, behaves impeccably. The fact is you think only happens to other in section 5.9.3, that the shop may One story that seems to rum- that the world is full of rude cus- people fare more careless than not be used 'for any illegal or ble on in the background is the tomers, who must be treated cour- you. Not so, for even our watchful immoral act, nor as a club, betting Accommodation Office incident teously by staff, however difficult Head of Security, Keith Reynolds, shop [or] sex shop.' So despite the with C. Chan. Despite one intem- that may be. Staff in shops or has fallen victim to this crime, enormous potential market, an IC perate letter from a warden- not restaurants have to deal with peo- costing the College £500 last knocking shop is not on the cards. terribly effective to bemoan 'public ple who are far more unpleasant Sunday. If it can happen to him, Secondly, diversifying the product slanging' in a letter where you label than the inmates here, and must can the world sleep easily at night? range could merely exacerbate the the complainant a racist, Clive- do so without resorting to fighting

"All political careers end in failure," ly running the prisons rather than Michael Howard's chances. Her She has never exchanged two words the recently deceased Enoch Powell keep to his proper role of legislating phrase that "there is something of with Michael since last year. There once said bitterly, when he was fired and setting policy. There was a the night about him" sparked a com- has been no make-up, no apology. from the Shadow Cabinet by Edward famous Newsnight interview in the ical row, with Howard retaliating He is re-writing history. He is trying Heath after his infamous speech wake of the sacking where Jeremy that she had deep affection for to make it look as though Ann is warning of rivers of blood if more Paxman repeatedly asked "did you Derek Lewis, and that flowers had admitting she got it wrong and she immigrants were permitted into threaten to overrule him?" to been exchanged. This precipitated had apologised." Publicly, though, Britain. In the Conservative Party Howard who repeatedly dodged the her public assertion of her own vir- they are best of friends: "Ann is right now, certain recently trampled question, making it painfully obvious ginity. The whole episode had infuri- being particularly effective in oppos- on careers are beginning to rehabili- what the truth was and a spectacle ated Widdecombe, who had never ing this Government", Howard said tate themselves despite accrued for anyone not to keen on Howard. liked the fact that Howard fired the recently. This is true: she makes reg- political wisdom, and for the right Under Howard at the time was Director-General of the service for ular appearances on television, is reasons. During the Conservative close to finishing her novel, and her leadership election, Ann Hamish Common attacks on Blairism earned her the Widdecombe torpedoed Michael (probably complimentary) nickname Howard's chances of gaining the of "U-boat Widdecombe". This has leadership with an attack on his per- Westminster won her the approval of Tory MPs formance as Home Secretary. At and ironically many on the Labour issue was Howard's handling of the benches who like her directness and sacking of the Prisons Service Eye independence, reminding them of Director-General, Derek Lewis. This the days before Labour's Millbank fracas had been ignited with the mind machine. escape of three convicted murder- Ann Widdecombe, who as Prisons which she had responsibility. It is refreshing to see that direct- ers from a maximum security prison Minister, earned the hatred of the The plot thickened in the last ness and bravery are still cherished on the Isle of Wight (which was then Left for insisting that expectant few days, when it became clear that values in politics, and that Howard's downgraded to Category B). The mothers should be handcuffed to Widdecombe was being considered sliminess in office was eventually governor of the prison was fired, the bed right up until the birth for a Shadow Cabinet post. Michael punished. Miss Widdecombe is with Michael Howard announcing it process started. Ann is also against Howard, now the Shadow Foreign making a remarkable political come- to backbench Tory cheers. Later the sex before marriage, and quite pub- Secretary, announced that he had back if does achieve Shadow Director-General himself was sacked lic about her virginity - she said "if forgiven her for destroying his lead- Cabinet status, and this will be by Howard and then immediately anyone says I am not a virgin, I'll ership chances, further infuriating undoubtedly despite of, rather than took action against the Home Office sue." When one considers her forth- Widdecombe, who said that just the because of Michael Howard. It for unfair dismissal. His argument rightness over such sensitive issues, previous week he had cut her dead would be nice to see the honest was that Howard had interfered with perhaps it was not so surprising that "in front of witnesses", and a source defeat the deceitful in politics once the Director-General's job of actual- she was happy to publicly finish off close to her saying "this is ridiculous. in a while. 6 March 1998 COLUMNS 11

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: I don't feel very well.

"...To-night thou shalt have an unwanted test, field day, or chant fot drum 'n' bass; a highly of the century, flu has claimed mil- cramps..." sports trial... I thoroughly used to effective but unwanted personal lions of lives in irrepressible epi- enjoy sitting and watching the con- stereo. Sleep, usually the most demics. In fact, scientists are so -Shakespeare tinuing and enthralling adventures seductive of dark-haired damsels, worried about another outbreak of Postman Pat while lying on the becomes a dull, boring minger with that they are exhuming bodies ost of the memories of the sofa and drinking hot chocolate. a beard. Then, inevitably, everyone buried in the permafrost of the icy dramatic climax of the iCU That's clever; they've used clingfilm comes in at four o'clock; drunk, northern wastes, believed to have MSabbatical elections have for the water under the bridge. Oh, noisy, irritating and insatiable in had their cards punched by the faded now, but the plague of illness no... his van won't start. Ah, this is their attempts to tell you what a 1919 outbreak, in an effort to that infested my system on that the life. I wonder how they are get- great time they have had. Oh, examine the deadly strain of the fateful night is still sadly conspicu- ting on in Games? sorry, did I just cough in your face? virus. Let's just hope they are more ous by its presence. Christ. Reading Unfortunately for me (cough) Never mind, it only means three competent than my friend Nick at out the ballot box figures while real illnesses are the real enemy; weeks in bed. Heh heh heh. school with his Biology agar dishes, hacking, wheezing and generally battles waged in the nervous sys- The worst illnesses of all are who managed to infect half the suffering from the thousand natural tems, bowels and auto-immune ones that kill people. There is much year with some terrible and uniden- coughs that flesh is heir to was a systems of unlucky punters world- concern about diseases which tified plague grown from his own task more tricky than the most wide, causing inestimable grief and infect monkeys, as mutations of sputum. fiendish of differential equations or illness. Tragically, these always the organisms responsible might Despite these terrible mass- control theory. come along when we don't want spread the disease to homo sapi- murderers, the micro-organisms The worst things in life are free, them to, and Postman Pat loses his ens. Some of these are incredibly with which we conduct our every- and it has to be said that bacteria appeal when you're supposed to contagious, and culminate in a day business tend to do little more and viruses do not charge very be somewhere interesting instead. death more painful and undignified than annoy, so next time you much for their services. Illness ulti- Isn't there a pub called Greendale? than that of anthrax, where the notice the beginnings of the com- mately comes in two varieties; the Isn't there a beer called Jess? unlucky sufferer bleeds from every mon cold, be thankful that you are type which you don't mind having, Maybe I'll get high if I drink enough orifice, including the eyes. Yuck. not drowning in your own mucus and the type which you do. The for- Beechams' Cold Powders. Historically, one of the most vora- instead. mer variety was often joyously Headaches, the staple diet of the cious slayers has not been AIDS or AH Campbell prevalent during my schooldays, ailing, pound away inside the CJD, or even one of these scary where a quick thermometer on the invalid's skull like an insane navvy potential super-killers, but good old radiator would occasionally prevent with a pneumatic drill and a pen- influenza. Yes, twice since the turn

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9.30am - 5.00pm (Wed 10.00am - 5.00pm) FEATURE 6 March 1998 6 March 1998 FEATURE 13

ERVIEW INTERVIEW ^^^^^^^^

Mr C should be a familiar name to all of you. He Layo also explains his role as a pro- response I get the feeling that it was not designed is a member of a band called The Shamen that ducer of music. "I do two types of music to offend. is Gaia Live, a radio station that broadcasts exclu- has had considerable mainstream success since predominantly. One is a tech-house "I was DJing in Edinburgh when a kid came up to sively on the internet. The concept of electronic the beginning of this decade. As if that wasn't sound on a deeper level which I do with me and said T was only thirteen or so at school radio is still in its infant stages and Gaia Live is a few enough, he also produces cutting-edge music Richard as Killer Loop. I also do breakbeat when I heard EG and we thought the chorus was all months old, but towards the end of last year it was which he describes as tech-house and is a much with Matthew B as The Usual Suspects. about this guy called Ebeneezer Goode and he was achieving one hundred thousand hits per month. sought after D) in the global dance scene. Layo's This is a similar kind of vibe, but instead of called Eezer for short.' That's what everyone in his The possibilities are endless, as it can be picked up CV reads very much as above without the Shamen just four on the floor, it's breaks." Layo school thought. They didn't perceive it to be a drug by anybody who has access to the internet. section. Together they both own and run a night- describes his musical standing as a pro- song and it wasn't until the media blew it out of all The sound of the station is naturally very impor- club in central London called The End, and a cut- ducer of "intelligent party music." proportion that people started to say 'Oh! Maybe it tant to both partners. "We're not after the pirate ting-edge radio station called Gaia Live that I had decided before the interview to means that then!' sound, which can be quite commercial." says Mr C, broadcasts solely on the internet. talk to Mr C about his involvement with "To the granny listening to it on Radio One, she "We're more concerned with the quality and musi- Electronic music has many enemies and critics. the Shamen. In all honesty I wasn't even would have thought it was a cheeky song about this cal output of shows." The DJ lineup can only be There are those who dismiss it as the lowest caste sure whether they were still togethet or Dickensian character. So it was really the press that described as the cream of London's underground. of music; generated by machines with no real need Mr C, Layo and Matthew Busnwacka B, Wiggle for any talent as such. There are people who accept Crew, Rugged Vinyl, DJ Rap, Giles Peterson, Dr S computers as musical instruments but cannot Gachet, Dave Angel, Weird Beats Collective, the list understand the concepts of techno music so far, still goes on...! The station broadcasts from Friday shunning the phrase "underground" and blaming the night to Sunday night at www.Gaialive.com and is artists for being too anonymous and out of touch 3 worth a listen! o with the general public. In its present form, the presentation is much like I'm glad that electronica, techno or whatever JF any terrestrial radio service. I'm curious to know if you choose to call it actually has role-models like Mr the possibilities of the internet could one day make C and Layo. Although it was conceived as an anti- I projects such as Gaialive more interactive. establishment youth movement, they are not afraid "Absolutely! I mean what you can do with the inter- to push it onto the widest possible audience that it net is more interactive anyway. We already broad- can reach. They are diplomats, manouevring big cast events from The End (by audio and visual commercial interests alongside the simple values of means) onto The End website. I do a weekly show artistic passion and integrity. They are both real and on Kiss FM which is broadcast onto the website as 3-D characters and are not afraid to show that they well," replies Mr C. are having fun and enjoying what they do. "Basically electronic radio is the way forward. I asked Mr C how he began in dance music. "I People are getting into the internet in a big way. It's got started when I was twelve I suppose, dancing on right around the corner where you can buy a little a dancefloor, getting in front of the speakers and box to plug into your TV and a telephone socket and having it latge! I was a disco kid when 1 was in my liqence you're on the net. That is going to mean a hell of a early teens and 80's soul, funk, electro were all lot. Give it another five years and every home will major influences on me." Mr C and ^^cohort Layo have access to the internet. Then the power of Getting involved is how Mr C learnt what he not! I actually ended my teenage years lis- hyped it ONLY as a drug issue tune. And, yeah of his club The End. He is also bringing The Shamen So how does Layo describe the club? entertainment and promotion and marketing and wanted to do as a musical artist. Most people don't tening to their music, but lost touch with course it was about ecstasy. I can put my hands up chapter of his life to a close to help Layo run The "The design! It speaks for itself. Probably everything else that comes with electronic informa- realise that he was making music long before the all that when I got into the music 1 now and say that now. It's out of the way and 1 don't End. So why this gradual manouevring towards a the best soundsystem in the world. A tion will all be at our fingertips. The sky's the limit. Shamen ever carried his name into the charts. "I cover. I also wasn't sure how my ques- have to promote it anymore. It wasn't pro-drugs new direction? This duo are on a mission! They want stunningly beautiful club. Really friendly, "We already have chat rooms where people can started DJing at the end of 1987. Basically, I'd made tions would be answered; so long after though. You just have to listen to lines like, 'e's the to change the way techno is perceived and treated. totally safe and fully air-conditioned." I talk while Gaia Live is going on. It might be good to my first track and decided that I didn't want to just the time and on the subject of such a kind of geezer who must never be abused' and 'very "It's time to push to a new direction. Techno ask Mr C if, after The Ministry of Sound have a list of records and soundbytes of these do raps on records. I wanted to get into it a lot well-trodden conversational path. much maligned and misunderstood' to realise that needs to be reinvented, it's an old thing that's been and other places, London really needed records. With the aid of a virtual set of turntables more; find out about writing and producing and Throughout, Mr C showed no sign of we're actually trying to tell people that the drugs around a long time. It's received a lot of bad press another superclub. "Absolutely! London and mixer you could mix them yourself. That would sequencing. 1 thought the best way to do that would impatience and responded to the best of available are actually rubbish, and you shouldn't be and negative attitude. Techno is seen to be hard, didn't have an underground club culture be good fun. Who knows what the future holds?" be to DJ because you have hands on experience." his ability. taking them and be aware. bland, in yer face music that girlies don't like. Well at that time, it had a handbag culture, and I asked them whether mixing records is an over- The route that took Layo into music is equally as Not many people know that The "Get information about what's going on, that's all totally wrong! That's why it needs to be maybe a bit of a hardbag culture if you rated and overpaid hobby that should have been interesting. He started putting on and promoting Shamen started out as an indie band and because it's an information society that we're living reinvented, so that people can see that techno is were lucky. London needed a kick off its confined to the bedroom. Mr C has something to parties from the age of sixteen. DJing didn't come that over time an electronic element pro- in. Unless you're informed about what you're doing, funky and glamourous. handbag to go somewhere in another say about this, "A great comparison is football. We into the picture until his university days. A year of gressed into their sound. Mr C got you're going to get yourself into trouble. It's very "Plink Plonk got stereotyped as an abstract tech- direction." can all kick a ball around in the streets just as your making shows for his local student radio station led involved with the band in 1989 when they important that people receive information and that no label." Mr C describes the music from his new It's not only the music that Mr C and bedroom DJ can mix some records together, but his passion to organising and DJing at his own club- worked together on a track called Move was partly what the song was about." label The End as, "Dead groovy beats, dark as heck Layo play that is served up in The End. there's loads more to it than that. People have a very night. "How he got that degree with that club I'll Any Mountain. The track was released as With his roots in the electronic underground, Mr techno, yet sexy sexy sexy. And that's what it's all Layo cites DJs as diverse as Sasha and DJ warped impression about the whole thing. It takes never know because it was mental!" quips Mr C, "It Progen '91 and made it as a top five UK C doesn't believe that mainstream success com- about. You can't have this macho, minimal, young Hype, all of whom have graced The End. loads of dedication and hard work." was absolutely bonkers every single Monday!" hit. The success continued with a string of promised him in any way. "Being in a very success- man, top-off thing. It's going nowhere apart from up And with regular residents such as Darren There is always a constant struggle and war of As a DJ, Layo is very much a force to be reck- hit singles and albums. Was it this mixture ful band like The Shamen has allowed me to go and people's rectums and it's not good!" Emmerson, Carl Cox and Jim Masters, this words between the mainstream and underground oned with. He describes his sound as "varied, as my of different styles that made the Shamen do other ventures; like build a state-of-the-art stu- One of the ways that Mr C and Layo have tried must be quite a place! "We're trying a camps. I ask them both to comment. "Music is art interest in music is fairly varied. When I play a set it's a success? "I think it was definitely a con- dio, get involved in night clubs and labels and stuff to redress the issue was to open up their very own huge variety of nights to bring all good let's not forget." says Mr C, "If someone makes a predominantly a kind of tech-house, but I have a lot tributing factor." says Mr C, "We were the like that. All 1 can say is that The Shamen has been nightclub called The End. They now have the power quality music under one roof." concludes piece of music that everyone says is really nice then of interest in breaks. I play a lot of breakbeat and first hybrid rock/dance band to crossover. a most marvellous experience and has helped me to choose the music they deliver each day of the Layo. how can that be art? It isn't challenging. Everyone is that also slips into drum'n'bass quite heavily and I like to think that The Shamen opened a out no end!" week. The End is a large club with a capacity of I ask if they are worried that London's of the same opinion. A true piece of art should move some downtempo breaks. Basically if music is funky lot of doors in that respect to a lot of The Shamen are still together. Look out for two about two thousand. When it opened in 1995 it was notoriously fickle club culture might one people to be critical for and against it otherwise it's I'm into it, whatever it is!" other bands." forthcoming singles (Universal and / Do) and an famous as being a club that had been designed, not day deem The End 'out of fashion'. not really art. If it doesn't make you question it and So what is this sound called tech-house that the The most (in)famous piece of work album in May called Ultimate Voyage. Due to other by promoters who find the lowest common denom- "People are very fickle to fashion. We're it doesn't form some sort of debate then it isn't art." dance media has adopted? "It's actually been from the Shamen was the track commitments, Mr C sees this as the last ever inator to make as much profit as possible, but by not a fashion club," explains Mr C, "1 Layo has the final word, "It's easy to knock the around for a long time." explains Layo, "It's more of Ebeneezer Goode. This picked up a vast Shamen material. two DJs who were passionate about the music they mean we do get fashionable people in but cheese. It's harder to be on the ball and actually an attitude in the music." This style is seen by many amount of media attention and criticism, This period seems to be a time of transition for played and wanted to spread it to as many people we don't court all that. We're about music know what's going on." as being the saviour of techno, going back to the mainly for it's so-called "blatant pro-drug both Mr C and Layo. Mr C is winding down his leg- as possible. Phrases such as 'well thought out' and and what's actually happening before it You can check out Mr C and Layo as Djs at The days when house and techno shared equal space in message". I was eager for Mr C to give us endary techno label called Plink Plonk for the mote 'user-friendly' were used to describe it on its open- happens." End club every month where they play the Subterrain the DJ's box. his version of events, and from his accessible sounds of a newer company named after ing. Another of the duo's collective babies night. al;ck 14 MUSIC 6 March 199c

MUSIC - 14 20 - FILM Reviews are given a mark out of More live music from close to Double page film bonanza. Win five as follows... home, some dodgy albums, the one of 50 tickets to see the new weekly singles round up, Tha unreleased Coen Brothers film! Bomb! and The IC Radio Page Judith Hann 22 - GAMES CLUBBING - 16 Actua Sports of all kinds, mod Maggie Philbin joe Public checks out the Quantum chips explained, and a raft of Mechanics Launch Party, gives the Gremlin previews to salivate over. k-k-k Peter Snow Wax Doctor a spin, and gives the lowdown on the week's Singles 23 - ARTS * it Howard Stapleford Another blatant plug for Salad BOOKS - 19 Days, also Thomas Schutte, The * Bob Symes Alan Sillitoe peforms live, plus we Weir and Greek Theatre launch our new Waterstones com- No Stars Carol Vorderman

v petition

CEREAL KILLER, P.O.G., CANVAS, SNAPDRAGON VARIOUS dBs Erotica Italia * *

'Canvas', but they are actually what reputation with the practiced ease talian 70's pom movie sound- was formerly known as 'Funk and we've come to expect. In fact they tracks... heard it all before, eh? Disorderly', one of the most well were so good 1 nearly dropped my I Erm, actually, no. As themed known and impressive bands in beer - only nearly, mind... My only albums go, it would be hard to pin- college. Their excellently per- gripe is that they need a little more point the original concept for this formed set of acid jazz songs went diversity in their songs to show off record from its content unless you down very well with the now rather their talents even more. However, pick up on occasional background large mob gathered in Db's and their excellent performance was moaning. Individual tracks are provided a nice contrast to the pre- certainly appreciated by the crowd more reminiscent of Westerns vious band. The playing was top- and brought a very enjoyable (Space Devils) or comedy cartoon class with some inspired solos, in evening to an end. capers (Sequence Six) than tight particular from the alluringly attired I'd certainly recommend these trousers and dodgy 'tashes. The Amy Barnes (nice dress!) on saxo- band nights to anyone as the stan- confusion is not even due to my phone. Anyway, another band and dard of the bands is always very misunderstanding the lyrics; only a another few beers. We now had the high and it doesn't cost anything to couple of the tunes feature any tantalising prospect of 'P.O.G.' and vocals and I dare say that that P.O.G. - physicists on guitars? see them. It was a shame the their unique brand of funk-rock. A orchestral numbers with names bands didn't have time to play sort of drugged up, bastardised like No Parting and Klu Klux Clan ast Friday gave us yet anoth- longer sets and I got the impres- hybrid of the last 2 bands (in the Sequence will probably not drive er chance to see some of the sion that the bands had only really nicest possible sense, of course), listeners into any kind of sexual best bands that IC has to just warmed up by the end of their L 'P.O.G.' rocked the socks off of the frenzy. Loosely, the record is jazz. offer. In fact this was the best gig set. Congratulations to everyone now scarily large crowd whilst giv- The range, however, is vast: from so far this year, the event really involved for an excellent evening. ing them sleepless nights wonder- sleepy, chilled panpipes to crazed, benefiting from being on a Friday, As for the rest of you, come along ing why the bassist, Mark, kept energetic sitar and Hammond instead of the usual Thursday, with next time and be pleasantly sur- changing hats for every song. This solos. The accent is certainly on more people watching and a much prised - you don't know what was an excellent set with some sur- slower, slinky tunes that are inter- better atmosphere, resulting in all you're missing! EJ prisingly good original songs mixed esting enough without ever being of the bands giving excellent per- Martin in with covers like Foxy Lady. totally gripping. They may induce a formances. vague tapping of the foot, which I With a final First up were 'Snapdragon' who suppose (as a soundtrack), is their stumble to the started off the evening with a bang purpose. On reflection, the record bar for beers 10 playing a very tight and polished would probably work well under a - 12, I made it set consisting of an eclectic choice film, although the genre is certain- back in time to of covers by bands such as Pearl ly surprising, although it does not sample the Jam, Metallica and Blur. The tight work so well at home on a stereo. rhythm section, especially John's delights of rock solid bass playing, allowed the 'Cereal Killer' Surely there are more original guitarists to play at their best. This who are now and interesting easy listening is a band rapidly gaining a reputa- regarded as tracks out there. Soundtracks gen- tion at college, and rightly so (probably) the erally feature music made for the though it would be nice to hear best band in sake of a film, not for music's sake: some original songs at their next college at th§ in my book this is definitely a bad gig. Anyway, this got the ever moment. They thing. Lyrics along the lines of 'Laa- increasing crowd into the mood as rose to the la-la' may entertain Eurovision and we welcomed the next band and 1 challenge with a classic erotica fans, but they are welcomed another 3 pints of rocking, near unlikely to ever change your life. Guinness.... flawless set of covers and original Cereal Killer - as good as a bowl El Tom songs, living up to their acclaimed You've probably never heard of of cornflakes, and just as nice. 6 March 1998 MUSIC 15

ALBUMS

DREDGE SIZZLA

Years of Violation No Stars Praise ye jah

the same, just with a different mes- izzla's second album is like a sage to shout about. I say 'mes- stick of rock, cut it though the sage' but do not for one second S middle and it reads reggae think that I am crediting them with right through it. But don't try this having created an album to make a one at home, ladies and gentle- difference. The only difference I felt men, since it may seriously impair was my vocal cords straining out of your CD's performance. He is one sympathy for theirs. During the rare of the new breed of Rasta youths breaks in the yelling, the realisation who have re-found their religion of this talentless group is blatant. and gone right back to their roots. The endless bellowing and the His message is not concerned with drowning-out by drums is simply a pop trivialities; instead his sweet cover for the fact that they couldn't vocals are laced with religious hit a correct note were it a barn overtones, cultural issues and door. ancient wisdom from the West The comparisons made above Indies. Described as a 'sing-jay', with Red Hot Chilli Peppers, House (no, not some kind of well-plumed of Pain and Metallica are not in any night bird), he produces a blend of more upbeat feel to them which way recognition for Dredge, they singing and DJing that is certainly comes as a pleasant relief from the are simply examples of who they interesting in sound, and he impro- monotony of the rest of the tracks. have tried to rip off. In fact, they vises all the time. Sizzla certainly Overall the album is pleasant are more akin to a dire Rage has a smooth, pleasant vocal style. enough, good as background ake some mindless, repeti- Against The Machine. Not that dissimilar from that of music with the tracks tending to tive lyrics, and mix well with 1 had not heard of Dredge Finley Quaye's or Jay Kay's, from blend together. This certainly is not T overpowering, head-banging before now, and 1 hope never to Jamiroquai. a must, even for reggae fans, I dare drum beats. Add a pinch of Pain, hear of them again. This would get Don't be fooled though, Sizzla say. But for anyone that wants to preferably from the House of, and minus stars were they available to is no Bob Marley. Whilst the beats be immersed in typical Caribbean a well ground Red Hot Chilli give. and rhythm of the music Sizzla pro- rhythms and tunes I suppose this is Pepper. Leave to stew for approxi- However, one good thing did duces may sound similar in nature as good as it gets. mately four minutes in a Metallica come from this; the thickness of a there is little to get excited about or H Ramzi bowl. Serve with generous helpings CD is the perfect size to stabilise get hooked on. You will not find of anything that clashes, grates or my wobbling desk - no more wob- yourself with that "catchy little disturbs - et voila, you have ble, bliss. ESI Sizzla tune" playing over and over Dredge. Derek in your head all day. The problem is Heavy metal is really not my the lyrics are too concerned with scene at the best of times, and this serious issues of race, culture and definitely is not the best of times. religion to make them enjoyable or What satisfaction anyone could fun. There are some good tracks on possibly draw from this is beyond Praise ye jah though. The title track my comprehension. Every track is and Haile Selassie both have a

SINGLES

Shed 7 - She Left Me On A Friday Grass Show, and we must not forget golden James Iha - Be Strong Now The Sheds have gone more funky with this new oldies like Abba and Roxette. Not so poppy here Anyone expecting Smashing Pumpkins-esque track, probably the first release from their forth- , but a mix of Smashing Pumpkins and Hole. guitar workouts are going to be majorly disap- coming third album. It is an excellent ctachy mix Jason pointed with this lifeless, light, country-type of funky shout-along lyrics and nearly as bouncy song. It could have been written and played by as Supergrass' Alright. Snow Patrol - Little Hide anyone, and although lha's voice is fairly good, Initially pleasingly reminiscent of 'My Bloody I expected much better from such a talented Catherine Wheel - Ma Solituda Valentine' but they don't build on this. Thin guitarist. The appeal of this record is in the expressive- vocals and a lack of imagination make for a ness and expansiveness presented to the listen- worthless pile of poo. Daytona - American Disco Dancer er. It is along the same lines as the epic Drugs Straightforward puerile and radio friendly indie Don't Work by heroes of the hour the Verve. Nick Heyward - Stars In Her Eyes which uses too many cliches for its own good. This is good for a whole five seconds before Not terrible enough to slate with my normal glee lames - Destiny Calling descending into a type of poncey pap compris- but hardly the best thing since that 98p Burger Here, James attack the music industry, dis- ing dull vocals and the requisite piano. Let's just offer. cussing how they and dozens of other bands say that this song wouldn't be out of place in an that make up the industry are a bunch of freaks. elevator.... Novocaine - Million Miles Perhaps it is a little ironic that they're about to Unremarkable and conventional processed rock release a 'Greatest Hits' album. So they're not Ultrasound - Best Wishes with 'en vogue' distorted vocals make up an selling their fans out in any way then. Really rather pleasant and very atmospheric with acceptable attempt to be dark and menacing. an odd but likeable singer. Not truly outstanding Vaguely catchy for some reason but this really Breaker - Carousel but certainly worth looking into: Ultrasound isn't very good aCJH- Yet another band from Sweden, along with cur- could well be one to watch. rent ones like the Wannadies, the Cardigans, Martin 16 MUSIC 6 March 1998

THA BOMB! 4 It's all good in the hood. Last week saw two big music awards ceremonies in the Grammy's and the Soul Train Awards as well as worrying rumours of Choice FM selling up and moving on.

Welcome back to your regular VARIOUS dose on the happenings in the

R&B world. Last week we had the The Blackout ***

A Rose is Still A Rose - Aretha Franklin Do I Qualify - Lynden David Hall The old skool diva gets together with a nu Second cut from his LP 'Medicine For My skool girl, Lauryn Hill to produce a an old style Pain'. Lynden shows off those vocals and the tune wit the new skool flava whole thing comes out perfect.

Royalty - Gangstarr with K-Ci and )o|o Weekend - Dave Hollister feat Redman Hip hop with that R&J5 flava from the and Erick Sermon Jodeci boys, Premier lays down some phat Tune. Its all good! beats and Guru comes correct, all this adds up to Phatness The Body Rock - Mos Def, Q Tip and Tash The Roof (Mobb Deep Remix) - Mariah Hip hop at its best, Q Tip from Tribe Carey Called Quest gets tog ether with newcomers This has been around for an age on import Mos Def and Tash to deliver an awesome and at last its been given its UK telease, dope monster of a tune. beats, killer. 6 March 1998 MUSIC 17

CLUBSCENE - CLUB REVIEW QUANTUM MECHANICS ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY THE END, WEST CENTRAL STREET, WC1 most happening clubs in town. dropping the freshest slabs of D&B a diverse mix of D&B as did all the enegade Hardware are one We arrived at about 1 1.00pm. you'll hear anywhere, much of DJs. A broad spectrum of styles of the labels you just could- and the guest list queue was longer which 1 should imagine taken from were covered which made for a R n't ignore last year, a sub- than the paying, everyone wanted the forthcoming album. The second nice change. sidiary of the well established to be at this one and after a little room I only went into to buy the At this point 1 must give props Trouble-on-Vinyl label. Quantum wait we drinks, THE ALBUM I A UNCH to the lighting engineer who nor- Mechanics is a compilation featur- were in. which mally don't get a mention, but at ing some of the rising stars in D&B The pes to least I appreciated the thought that and will get a full album review in place QUANTUM |s h o w planning that went into the lighting. weeks to come (when I finally get a was how ruff it And with respect to the sound sys- copy). already ? 77;; wa, s in the tem; it hasn't lost any of it's edge The End was chosen to host the nearly main since last time I was here and it just «S»T CINTRAI ar WC1 launch party and I can see why as it full and Future Forces were giving room) was playing house /garage kept getting louder and louder, to has to be one of the best venues in the crowd a good work-out. After /disco sort of thing going on. the point where the speakers we the city. I have been here before battling to the one and only bar in Next up on the decks was were standing next to were nearly about a year ago and was blown the place, (the only grumble I have) Bailey, who total rinsed out the jumping up 'n' down. Speakers that away by the AI sound-system (I we headed for the dance floor. It place. I hardly stopped jacking and big don't normal move but these doubt you'll find a better sounding looked packed but we easily found busting for the whole two hours or were vibrating so much that beer system in London for clarity and space to stand back and take in the so that he was on. And you should bottles were flying off 'em. power) and the clean 'n' new feel- phat beats and surprisingly friendly have seen the crowd when he So I can highly recommend this ing this club still has even though 'n' relaxed atmosphere, with the dropped Warhead, a little old but club to you all and I sign off giving it's been open a few years now. sweet smell of skunk thick in the already a classic. Easily the DJ of full respect to DJ Bailey who made Respect to Mr.C (of Shamen fame) air. the night for us and everyone else my night at least. Jo Public and crew for making this one of the The main room was obviously from where I was standing, playing EE WAX DOCTOR SELECTED WORKS (R&S Recordings)

he latest album from Paul Eight tracks have been selected, sounds of the early nineties. A fast, tion. It's vocals, produced superbly Sanders (The Wax Doctor) is and are aimed to give a 'journey gliding beat to very intelligent alongside the bassline, is a typical T imaginatively titled Selected like' feel, also having the aura of a breakdowns make for an intriguing example of the techno/ jungle Works. Yes, you've guessed it, an chill out CD. However, the album 10 minutes. fusion often found in early tracks. hour-long compilation of Paul's still manages to deliver more than Although the album is not Kid Caprice, a Metalheadz release, intelligent style of d 'n' b releases most in this genre can, and it's hard mixed, All I Need caries on in the along with Heaf and Offshore Drift from the past god-knows-how- to believe how old some of these same vein with a very laid back following in the same blueprint as many years. tracks are as you could play them funky style. The third track. Step, the earlier tracks. For those of you who don't out today 'n' most wouldn't notice. takes on the darker side of things, All in all, the eight tracks com- know of the man, it's safe to say The first tune, Atmospheric and could have been produced bine to make this more of a d 'n' b that he has been one of the leading Funk (which originally appeared on straight out of either the Old Skool listening album. Although of it's figures in making today's D&B Talkin' Loud label) is one of the era, or from the 'Reprazent' style type, it's probably one of the best - music what it is, and this album funkiest tracks of all time, and is nowadays. but things have moved on highlights some of his most influen- probably the best example of how Spectrum is one of the earliest EE Chris. tial pieces of work. the d 'n' b scene emerged from the produced tracks on the compila-

CLUBSCENE - SINGLES

Just a little note about the singles featured in the clubscene section, firstly they are mainly vinyl only release, and secondly you will not find most of these tracks in the large record shops e.g. HMV etc, but small independent record shops such as Blackmarket Rec. or Section 5.

GARAGE TECH/HOUSE

Chris Mack. Feel Good/Alright. 2 Deep EP. Get Away/ Loving You. Freaky Charka. Year 2000 EP. Egoiste. Wind It Up. (Main Ingredient) Out Now. (Ripe 'n' Ready) Out Now. (Astralworks) Mid March. (Truelove) 2nd March. For some reason the sleeve of this Of the three mixes of Get Away, This comes from San Francisco's In that banging house style, fast record with "Spicing up the under- the original does it for me, with it's Daum Bentley and introduces us, stomping beats, tight percussion, ground" written on it made me jiggerly beats, building keys and well me anyway, to the tech-house nice trippy atmosphericals. All bro- think it would be cheesy as you looped male vocal. Then the phat styles bubbling up from San ken up nicely with little breaks of like. But that preconception was sub-bass comes into play mixing it Francisco's underground. This EP is this & that, and when you think it's quickly dismissed and appearances up and alternating with the key- geared more towards the dance- broken down to come back can be deceiving. It gets straight board stabs 'n' beats and looped floor and I can see why, with it's stronger for the last time, it goes down to business with a broken title vocal. This all fits together very body-rocking slow stepping beats and does it again and again! beat style, looped vocal and stabs well with a variety of combinations working hand in hand with a simple Jon's mix is darker and more mini- of acid sounds. Then rolls in a deep of the above mentioned beats. b-line, eerie atmosphericals and mal, but retains a certain depth. sub-bass so ya can wind ya waist. Also a nice Loving you is easy remix intelligent programing which make With clever use of horns all filtered Powerful female title vocal and on here as well, it's been given the for four very useable tracks. and fucked with, and a very large clever cut 'n' spliced beats keep two step sort of treatment, with an Showing me yet another dimension breakdown in the middle. you interested. One for the dance- extended vocal from the original, of house music. EE Jo Pubilc. floor massive. not a floor burner but works well. 18 THE IC RADIO PAGE 6 March 1998

YOU'RE READING IC RADIO (?!)

Hello groovy Felix read- ous a question to ones. SW: I normally don't bother with ers, and welcome to answer properly. SW: Penguins are them. They're only good with pasta another installment of the quite What's your better though. dishes- just thinking about them new Radio Page™ in your favourite Crap Names in With Crufts just with anything else makes me cry. (only) college newspaper. This Pop section around the cor- I said 'Union', not 'onion' page is still but an unblossomed about? ner, if you could Both: Oh. flower, so please make excuses for NF: We do an expose of those with train a bitch to do anything, what How long do you last? it as it blooms into fullness. This crap names in pop. You know that would you make her do? NF: We do it between the news. week's piece of minor experimenta- Fat Boy Slim's real name is Norman NF: The do. What's the most funny thing tion is another DJ profile; this time Cook, Photek's called Rupert and SW: Like Betty Boo. you've done pissed? it's Nelson Frisbee with Spencer Marylin Manson's really Brian. What interests you the most? NF: Saw Alan Parker at the Comedy Wriggly. Playing mostly playlist How many people listen to your NF: Horticulture, I grow my own Store. stuff, they include regular features show? vegetables. I'm very good at mar- If Crapital FM gave you a contract, such as Crap Names in Pop, And NF: The latest RAJAR figures have row's... would you take it? This Just In, The Funky Favourite been put around 6.7 million. How big is your biggest marrow? NF: Not up the Crapital, no. Disco Diamond, Spencer's Gig SW: That doesn't take into account NF: 3 stone 25. Won second prize SW: Sounds painful, doesn't it? Guide, and The Aural Sandwich. group listening, though. in the lllingworth and District annu- If your life was a pilot TV show, Mmmmm, tasty. What's your favourite song at the al show 1996. would you get a series? moment? SW: Nelson's sister entered one as NF: I'd get a fucking channel. Sum up your show in no more SW: Finley Quaye: Your Love Gets well but it came last. Still, I think it's than three words. Sweeter always worthwhile to have a crack. The Nelson Frisbee show with SW: Weekly Monday lunchtimes. NF: Freestylers: B-boy Stance How much would you get your kit Spencer Wriggly goes out every You obviously do a lot of talking How did you get into music? off for? Monday lunch-time between 12 on your show. What do you think NF: Climbed in through the window SW: £23.81 and 2. of each others oral technique? SW: I used the door NF: No, I'd say higher. £23.83 The closing date for our logo com- NF: Sorry but I don't understand NF: Smart arse Burger King or MacDonalds? petition is TODAY. the question. What are your favourite clubs in NF: Whimpeys (sic) Jon Crabb SW: Are you referring to our vocal London? or sexual abilities? It's too ambigu- NF: The orange, mint and fruity What do you think of the Union?

Weekly Schedule Student Radio Broadcasting 24 hours a day to the JCR and across campus on 999am. Network Chart

friday Saturday monday tuesday Wednesday thursday

Clem's Tacked All empty spaces Nelson Frisbee Gareth Nan} John Corcoran noon - Lunch Playiist feature new D)*s See this weeks pre* Anything goes for Doing her thing in New music, com- Young Offenders Lose Control view article. With 1pm plunder and a look on rotation. this dance-retro her uniquely crazy petitions and gen- (Sony) At the weekend's Spensers Funky lunchtime party. and unfortunate eral banter from Revolving ents. Disco Diamond and manner the comic genius Libido (Fire) Tobi (T. Guy) If you want to join, their weekly gig Councillor Evans Mark John, Phone 58085 1pm - The coolest man just come down to guide, it doesn't Bizarre hotch- 1 hope you're pre- wirh your requests. Pulp This is Hardcore 2pm ever to hit R8J5, Southside Studios get much better potch of random pared for this! Ring (Island) freestyling it big on than this! ranting and brilliant 58085. Ether Watching You your radio. tunes KC + Tom Mark and The Dennis Tom Cohen The (Parlophone) 5pm - Starting off Friday Dark Lord Beatles, easy, joker has at last got Montrose Ave VWiere Do I Stand evening with a including an inter- cheesy, charty, this slot and will (Columbia) 6pm arty, indie-sch- send you an elec- bang view with Evil Arkama The Future's Overrated Superstars. mindie shite tric present. Woo! (WEA) Nim' Gold Andy Nu Music The Chef whip- Local Boy... 6pm - The latest D&.B and As Andy will testify, The newest music ping up one of his Stereophonies 7pm swing grooves in a all the glitters is around, and a love- famous speciali- (V2) rotund manner. gold. ly fragrance ties every week. Mover Tricolore (AfcVM) lames Ratcliff Lana Julia will punch you SRN Chart Justin Ian Sample Arab Strap Here We Go 7pm - House music to johnny Hates Jazz, with her PUNKY A rundown of the New, shiny cV can Radio 1 award 8pm turn your week Into but Lana lurves it. stuff. Straish from most played songs be used instead of contender digests (Chemikal Underground) weekend. Tune in to chill out. the US. It's wild. on the network gloves in the cold. the news. Mmm... lames Destiny Calling tasty. (Fontana) Laurie D) Pugwash and Phil The Session Nolan Sourith Deejay Punk-Roc Dead Husband 8pm - Mandatory listen- Peter Terry Hip-hops his way With live sets and Top choice of post- Various pop with a ing for those who Top show: like into a hardcore exclusive tracks sport tunes with French & Spanish (Indepediente) 9pm know about quali- you've never heard frenzy to please from new bands. the accent on Indie flavour, ; Finley Quaye Your Love Gets... ty- it before. (Epic) Steve Metal Electric Cafe The Four Skins Jon &. AH take you Ian Brown Corpses 9pm - Hard rock and:: Now you can Well, we thought to their Vinyl 10pm metal plus top spend two hours we'd seen every- Frontier, and (Polydor) Interview with Coal, listening to the thing until this. beyond into anoth- David Holmes My Mate Paul Chamber. electronic under- er world. (Go Beat) ground of Alick's Tom Spellman Jenny R&3 from Imperial Tom & Christian DJs Sianlde & Therapy? Church of Noise 10pm - Essential for those someone with a Underground Electric Cafe. Christian is not Desire Bringing you Enjoy his tasty (AftM) who like their beats very attractive Techo and harder Christian if you a "Retrospecive of tracks and breathe 11pm big. voice. dance vibes with were wondering. Hardcore' © Student Radio Network 1998 the heady air. Rob Stoppa 6 March 1998 BOOKS

ALAN SILLITOE A Haldane Collection Cultural Event

've always been a prodigious peculiar breed of people for a long clearly feeling the same confusion reader. In my second year at time, and eventually wrote The and the same tenderness for each Isenior school, my teacher, tired Flying Boat in 1983. other. Set in France, and featuring of my finishing books weeks before The second extract was from two English people on the way back the rest of the class, gave me Alan The Loneliness, called On Saturday to their normal lives after their holi- Sillitoe's, The Loneliness of a Long- Afternoon. It's about a young boy, days, this story really showed the Distance Runner, probably to con- who misses out on a cinema trip, frailty of humans and the fragility of fuse my thirteen year old brain. and instead watches a man attempt human relationships. I don't want Unluckily for her, it didn't put me off to commit suicide. Written from the to give too much away here as that Waterstone's reading, and luckily for me, it got me point of view of the child, it is real- would spoil it, but it really is a won- interested in Alan Sillitoe, so when I ly about the differences in types of derful story. Alan Sillitoe manages Competition heard that he was going to come to depression. The child's father has to write extremely convincing char- Imperial to read from his new book. terribly black moods, where he acters; the man even leaves her his This week we start our monthly Alligator Playground, I jumped at the shouts at his wife and children, business card with "Thanks for competition in conjunction with chance to go and listen. throws things about and kills flies by everything" written on it. Of course, Waterstone's. To win a £10 book Alan Sillitoe started his writing throwing them in the fire. The sui- he leaves without saying goodbye. token all you have to do is answer career properly in 1958, with cidal man has that bleak depres- After this he answered ques- the following question: Saturday Night, Sunday Morning, sion, where you stare into space, tions on his work, describing how and became famous with The and can never see any positivity at he came to write Her Victory, his What is Waterstone's book of Loneliness of a Long Distance all, and don't even want to. The longest novel, from a chance the month for March? Runner, a book of short stories attempt fails; the light bulb he has encounter on a street, and the dif- which won the Hawthorne Prize. strung the rope from breaks. The ference between his novels and his The answer is obvious if you take a Since then, he has written numer- man is arrested and taken to hospi- poetry. Novels come from deep look in the campus bookstore and ous volumes of poetry, many plays, tal. Here, he's put into a ward on within you, short stories from even should be e-mailed to Felix by next for both screen and stage, as well the sixth floor, and kills himself by deeper, and that poetry comes Tuesday. Please send your as novels and short stories. He jumping out of a pane of glass onto from the deepest level yet' To answers to [email protected] marked believes firmly that a writer is in the the road. The irony of this isn't lost demonstrate, he read us a poem for attention of the books editor. business of communication, a belief on the boy, young as he is. called Shadows, which deals with Good luck! that probably originates from him His penultimate reading was the fear of death. Alan Sillitoe is one Willum having been an RAF telegraph oper- about a one-night stand. This story of the finest writers in England at ator after leaving school. He had was extremely beautiful and the moment, long may he continue. wanted to write a novel about this poignant, with the couple both Julia H March 1998

JCUd mema ^keworld the Movie Wed 11 March 6.00pm T Face/Off Wed I I March 8.30pm & Thurs 12 March 6.00pm itPJla c ejoBaillillll Thurs 12 March 8.45pm W The Third Man Sun 15 March 8pm FREE SHOW 20 FILM 6 March 1998

Good? It's absolutely brilliant! GOOD WILL HUNTING

Starring: Robin Williams, Matt Damon Director:Gus Van Sant

film about a tough but charismatic genius with Aproblems, trying to fit in at one of the best technical colleges in the country might seem a famil- iar theme to readers of Felix. Fortunately, it is set in the more picturesque Boston, and the people in the film are far prettier, too. Newcomer Matt Damon (who co-wrote the screenplay with best friend and co-star Ben Affleck) is Will Hunting, an angry young man, but one who is blessed with a pho- tographic memory and the ability to instantly solve complex mathe- matics problems. However, Will prefers menial jobs, drinking with his best mate Chuckie (Affleck) and sessions with the therapist, and the gent and poignant. The acting is out getting overly sentimental, let- getting into trouble. When he is flourishing of a relationship with a excellent, from the young talent to ting the actors do their work and staring at a jail sentence, his only student at MIT (Minnie Driver), that the seasoned veterans, with the script weave its magic. If you way out is offered by a maths hold the key to Will's survival. Williams reminding the audience are not moved by this film then you professor, providing he hones his This is a quite superb movie. why he has been previously nomi- had better check your pulse. D talent and visit a college academic The screenplay, although written by nated three times for an Oscar. Van David Norman / therapist (Robin Williams). It is the youngsters, is warm, funny, intelli- Sant keeps the film personal with-

Win Good Will Hunting MRS DALLOWAY Starring: Vanessa Redgrave, Natascha McElhone, Rupert Graves DirectonMarleen Gorris

tickets courtesy of the e afraid, this is a Virginia (Graves), a shell-shocked veteran Woolf story. Okay, I confess, of World War I. His angst and his B 1 haven't actually read the treatment by the establishment, book myself but by all accounts the the medics in particular, makes for ODEON film is true to the novel. The time is disturbing viewing. Septimus and 1923; the place is London; Mrs Mrs Dalloway never actually meet Dalloway (Redgrave) is middle- each other but his despair touches KENSINGTON aged, married to a man of excellent her through indirect means. The social standing and about to throw conclusion of the film is an insight- As you'll see from above, the film Last week we were offering a party. The events all take place ful contemplation. The novel is in of the moment is Cood Will tickets to see The Edge, Anthony from morning to evening, in a fact an introspective of Virginia Hunting, starring Matt Damon and Hopkins' latest film featuring a single day. As she prepares for the Woolf who was middle-aged when Robin Williams in Oscar-winning cameo by Elle Macpherson. It is party, Mrs Dalloway reminisces she wrote the book. There is the form. Films as character-driven as still showing and is a worthwhile about her past, more specifically juxtapositioning of sanity and this are usually laden with senti- alternative to the usual mindless thirty years previously when she insanity, her distaste for the med- ment, but in Gus Van Sant's movie thriller. We wanted to know the was young, beautiful (McElhone) ical profession, a hint of lesbianism the cliches are kept firmly in their film for which Sir Anthony won his and undecided over her affections and tragically also a suicide. place. All in all, it's the perfect Best Actor Oscar. The answer was, for an exuberant and adventure- This film will not appeal to the antidote to the stress of those of course, that "Chianti-with-liver" seeking suitor. By a strange coinci- action-philes amongst you (just the impending exams. classic The Silence of the Lambs. dence that same man is back from one explosion) but it would be You'll be completely unshocked The five winners drawn out of India and will be paying her a visit. doltish to dismiss it as a mere to read that the generous Odeon the hat at random are: Also at the party will be her best period adaptation. The style of the Kensington has given us five pairs friend of thirty years ago. This is a original narrative was ironically of tickets as prizes for this week's Jenny Kay good prompt to ponder about the influenced by that new exciting competition. To enter, e-mail us on A Worapishet "What if?"s of life and to see how arts-medium called Cinema. Alan [email protected] with the answer to: Carmen Belda everybody has turned out. Cox gives the only mediocre per- Sheyi Claxton If the film were just about mid- formance from the excellent cast. Name two of the three other Lin Hong life crisis it would be rather average The only question we are left with films for which Robin Williams but interwoven with Mrs is why Redgrave is wearing the has received a Best Actor Come and pick up the prizes from Dolloway's meanderings is the Queen Mother's outfit in the open- Oscar nomination the Felix office whenever you like. plight of Septimus Warren Smith ing scenes? O Stef 6 March 1998 FILM

REVIEWS 50 FREE TICKETS!

Durham, North Carolina, out of his introduced in an attempt to create KISS THE GIRLS jurisdiction to conduct his own more mystery. Unfortunately this WANT TO IB investigation. His presence rattles has the opposite effect and it all SEE THE COEN Starring: Morgan Freeman the local law enforcement, but he is becomes contrived and hammy. BROTHERS' NEW Ashley Judd aided by feisty Kate Mctietman What starts as a gripping story by FILM BEFORE Director:Gary Fleder (Judd) - the one who got away. She the end becomes more a question EVERYBODY ELSE? knows about the kidnapper who of curiosity rather than the cliff- exy, young, talented girls calls himself Casanova, though her hanger it might have been. Trying The latest film from those masters have been abducted, and a memories are fogged by the drugs too hard to mix the elements of the of film noir, the Coen brothers, is S few have turned up as cadav- given to her whilst she was abduct- sublime "Chianti-with-liver" with The Big Lebowskl. The men ers in the woods. They have been ed. Together they unravel a trail the successful Seven has resulted responsible for Far^o have brought tied-up to a tree and left to die. which leads from coast to coast, in in an infetior work. This is a pity together Jeff Bridges, John One of the abducted girls is the a race against time to save the since the cast is excellent and the Goodman and Julianne Moore for niece of Washington DC police remaining victims. film has many good points. A this critically acclaimed film cen- detective and forensic psychologist The suspense builds up well but near-miss. D tring on a mistaken identity. Alex Cross (Freeman). He heads to then too many twists and turns are Stef Bridges plays Lebowski, a shame- lessly lazy and retro guy who calls himself The Dude. He is mistaken for an identically named Pasadena millionaire by thugs who break into his apartment, leading to a bizarre tale of extortion, double-crossing, embezzlement, sex and dope. Thanks to FFt Beatwax and Polygram we have 50 tickets for an exclusive preview screening to give away! The film is being shown on Thursday March 1 2 at 8:00 for 8:30 in a West End cinema. Tickets will be issued on a fitst-come first- served basis to people e-mailing [email protected] on Monday, with "The Big Lebowski" as the subject. Don't miss this great opportunity to see a quality film on a big screen for absolutely nothing. Morgan Freeman reprises his The Big Lebowski will not be Seven role in Kiss The Girls released until the middle of April.

LESBIAN AND CAY FILM FESTIVAL

ne of the benefits of study- plethora of North . American and sonator and "Small-Town USA along with a celebration of trans- ing in London is the wealth European cinema. This year "cross Shocker" Brandon Teena (currently gender politics in Dandy Dust. O of films shown throughout appeal" is the buzz-phrase. The the subject of four feature films in To round the programme ofl the capital. The annual programme collection of shorts, general films production). The experimental sec- there is an investigation of Camr of 2000 or so films at the National and the galas have been selected to tion includes Didn't Do It For Love, Cooking and Queer Cuisine, a Film Theatre is part of this eclecti- interest lesbian and gay viewers a docupotttait of Eva Norvind - Mothers' Day special and event; cism. Nestled under Waterloo and film audiences in general. one-time Mexican Marilyn Monroe, fot families including versions ol Bridge on the South Bank, the NFT This year's highlights feature New York Dominatrix and now an Oscar Wilde's children's stories. is responsible for the London Film well-known actors, singers and academic in Forensic Psychology, Festival, retrospectives, post-film directors as well as relative new- discussions and features as well as comers. Catherine Deneuve plays a Win tickets to see Les Voleurs or student being behind the London Lesbian lesbian in Andre Techine's Les membership of the and Cay Film Festival. The usual Voleurs. The recent lives on tour of programme of recent re-runs, two dykons - K.D. Lang and Sophie reviews, cult tuns and archive B. Hawkins - have been filmed and National Film Theatre footage shows across three screens form part of the Festival. Cameo throughout the year. For example appearances include Lilly Tomlin the current shows include a season and Mary Tyler Moore in Reno You and a friend could see Les Voleurs for free at the Festival ot alter- of Rogers and Hammerstein musi- Finds Her Mom. Barbarella with natively you can choose one year's free student membership of the NFT cals and soon the NFT will screen a Jane Fonda has a late night slot as To enter, simply e-mail [email protected] with the answer to the following: special preview of Cattaca, the well as The Score - a story of 70's near-future Nature vs. Nurture tale swingers with which Boogie Nights Catherine Deneuve stars in les Voleurs. In which film did followed by a debate on genetic and The Ice Storm just cannot com- she star with Susan Sarandon and David Bowie? engineering which promises to be pete. (A clue can be found on page 10 of the festival's brochure, which can well-informed and lively. Rising stars to watch out fot in be picked up for free at the front desk of the union office) The twelfth London Lesbian and the future include Danny Nucci and Student membership of the NFT offers: Gay Film Festival runs from 12 to Steve Bell. Of note are Dakan. the Priority booking for all NFT events 26 March. Over 180 films will be first gay film made in Africa and The One free ticket for any non-festival or gala showing screened, including Asian and Brandon Teena Story which reviews Free monthly programme mailing African films as well as the usual the life and murder of male imper- Tickets from just £3.35 for you and three guests 22 GAMES 6 March 1998

REVIEWS ON THE HORIZON FROM

A bit of a bumper Actua include commentary from the real between teams - very handy for Gremli special this week, as we stars themselves, 'True3D' courts group play! take a look at some of Gremlin's and pitches, which allow a vast All games are available for PC This week, a special report on the Actua Sports series. variety of camera angles and the and Playstation. new games coming soon from Common features of the Series ability to allocate up to 4 players Gremlin Interactive. ACTUA GOLF 2 ACTUA HOCKEY ACTUA SOCCER 2

1 PC review * * * PS review * * Vi PS review /2

I'll admit that trudging around a Compared to Soccer 2, Hockey An update to the successful origi- golf course in the pouring rain isn't appears slow and lumbering. nal, Soccer 2 builds upon its really my cup of tea. However, the Admittedly the graphics are nicely predecessor's strengths of a fluid aforementioned hot beverage detailed, with impressive lighting control system, good graphics and sums up the style of Coif 2 pretty and reflections from the icy sur- 'real' commentary. well... a sedate pace, enjoyable face. However, they are rather The most outstanding feature flavour, and probably more likely jerky and fail to recreate the fluid- of this game are the graphics. N20 could easily find its way into to be enjoyed by the older genera- ity of play that normally Wonderfully smooth and detailed, my collection when released. tion. accompanies a real ice hockey you're sure to scream "Yesss! You Looking like a cross between It's worth mentioning that the game. beauty!" upon witnessing your first Tempest 2000 and some very accelerated graphics of this game Sound is quite amusing, with action replay. A word about the good drugs, it promises fast-paced are really very good indeed. In fact, hammond-organ style tunes replay system - it is simply excel- tunnel thrills. it is hard to see how a golf game throughout play. Sound effects are lent, with ball tracking (as seen on could look any better. appropriate and nicely used, but Sky Sports), more viewpoints than If you like your racing games dis- There is a choice of control the whole experience somehow you can shake a stick at and vari- tinctly from the Mariokart school methods, but the basic 3-clicks of fails to gel into a cohesive whole. able speed. You can have a replay of design, then Buggy should the mouse is both intuitive and The control system is ade- at any time, too. The only thing appeal. Bonuses galore await, and skillful. quate, but 1 just couldn't get the that's missing is an ability to save a splitscreen 2 player mode looks I'm not a much of a lover of hang of it really. Perhaps hockey is them to memory card. interesting too. golf games, but if you are then this simply too unusual a subject for a The commentary is reasonable, is bound to be a hit. sports sim. although as ever it does tend to Hardwar is a futuristic Elite-style grate after a while. As this is fairly game set on Titan. Moody, foggy inevitable, this is really only a graphics lend the game a minor failing. Bladerunner feel. Groovy spot Gameplay is both fluid and lighting effects and a strong flight realistic, although I would advise simulation feel could easily make new players to practice against a this game a winner. friend before challenging the com- puter opponents - but then I could Motorhead is yet another driving never play football anyway. game. Quite whether it will lift The only real fault is that it is itself from the pack remains to be quite hard to defend your goal. I seen, but initial impressions are found that control switched from good. player to player unpredictably. Mark Baker

PERIPHERALS OF A DODGY NATURE

== What is it? European release. Some This is an example of a Japanese games are never Tamagotchi has broken free from Playstation 'mod chip'. released in the UK. your keyrings and has made its What does it do? What's the drawback? way onto the PC at last. Yes, you A sneaky bundle of transistors, For import games you will need can now be kept up at night and it allows you to play imported an RGB lead (£ 1 5) and a decent pestered by alien pets in full colour and 'CD backup copies' (ahem) SCART-socketed TV to view and with more games and options of games. them, as they output a different than ever before! Why would I want to do that? signal... Imported games from USA and How much does it cost? Premier Manager 98 should Japan run a bit faster, as their The chip itself is £7 or it can be appeal to budding Alex Fergersons. TVs have a 60Hz refresh rate fitted for £20 + postage. Sharing a graphics engine with (as opposed to 50Hz for EU). For details see: http://www. Actua Soccer 2 seems to have Also, games tend to come out twocom.demon.co.uk/psx/ done it no harm at all. ,! ''^//www.tvw^.Wfci.iikJ'lw;* |is»stwDraw*w.(».* about 3 months in advance of 6 March 1998 ARTS 23 READ ME THE WEIR THOMAS SCHUTTE ANTIGONE The Royal Court Whitechapel Art Gallery Riverside Studio

tories toid in a bar are his is the first major exhibi- Who aliens. They look lost and s Greek drama still relevant? rarely of this quality. tion of the German artist confused, gesturing and milling Our regard for our rich literary S Instead of the usual style of T Thomas Schutte. It offers a around in small groups as though in I past is practically non-existent. bar reminiscence. The Weir deals retrospective of over twenty years conversation. One statue sticks his These days, when the bloody with haunting stories about ghosts of diverse work, including water- tongue out, but his friend seems Teletubbies are a more popular and the supernatural. The set, a colours, sculptures and architectur- more interested in the nearby attraction in Stratford-upon-Avon bar in various shades of brown, al models. watercolours. Another looks like than Shakespeare's birth-place, enhanced the feeling of small- The exhibition begins with a he's mowing the lawn: he bites his and less and less people are taught town life. Here is where the story collection of small figures in bell lower lip in earnest concentration. Classics at school, one would be takes place, and judging from the jars. They are supported on Light plays off their shiny whipped tempted to say no. So, when you first half hour, the play would be columns at head height, but cream features, constantly chang- hear that a theatre company is ttivial; cleverly written, and in instead of just one figure per bell ing as you move around them. It putting on a production of some places extremely funny, but jar, there are two, bound together brings them to life and you can't Sophocles' Antigone, your first ultimately trivial. It seemed as if it in masking tape. People stare at help feeling sympathetic and thought is "Just what is the point of was going to drift along, with the them, the figures grotesque plas- involved with these poor child-like that?" Well, mine wasn't, because audience merely required to tacine faces showing their embar- aliens. I've read the play, I've seen it as absorb the gloomy atmosphere. rassment of the situation. A few It was the watercolour portraits part of the Oedipus trilogy, and I The atmosphere shifts subtly make the best of it - one in partic- that I was most impressed with. know that stories about human when Valerie arrives. A stranger ular seems to be offering sexual Schutte paints very quickly, captur- relationships are always relevant, from Dublin, she is a very pretty benediction to his smiling friend. ing fleeting moments of time in whether they were written in woman, who has, for her own pri- But these figures are telling a story. economical lines and often 442BC, I 570AD or this morning. vate reasons, chosen to come to Like two enemies united in an abstract areas of dark wash. Antigone is a play about hon- this deserted place for peace and uneasy alliance, the variety of ges- Although sketchy, they are power- our, betrayal, love, fear and duty. quiet. From being a purely male tured poses show the many faces fully drawn: there is wide eyed The story is ultimately tragic, and environment, the arena becomes of politics. Everywhere, high on the innocence and brooding sensuous- contains ideas that have disturbed almost erotically charged, with the walls are photographs of these ness. people for over two thousand men telling their ghost stories in pathetic faces - a gallery of the Overall, Schutte's work repre- years. order to impress her. The men are damned - each one sneering at sents a departure from 'modem'art Antigone is Oedipus' youngest all heavily superstitious, and seem us,asking if we are any different. - it does not require a title for the daughter. After his disgrace and to want to believe in ghosts, Moving on, the floor becomes work to have any meaning. Rather downfall, she went with him to despite laughing at themselves. I alive with curious humanoid stat- the viewer is encouraged to make Colonus, where he died, at the couldn't help thinking that all the ues: looking disturbingly similar to up their own mind about it. It's free shrine of the Furies. Before he stories were either embroidered or aluminium versions of the marsh- and if you find yourself near died, both his two sons wanted his brought on by alcohol. This was mallow man from Ghostbusters, Whitechapel, it's well worth a visit. support against their brother, and justified by one of the characters these nine foot giants litter the he cursed them. With the results of describing how he had drunk vast gallery floor like bemused Doctor Antony Butts this curse, Antigone begins. quantities of potein, the potato Both brothers are dead, and spirit, on top of a dose of the 'flu', one cannot be buried, he must lie a combination which would induce outside the city walls as a mark of ghosts even in the least imagina- his disgrace. Antigone wants to tive of us. Valerie, well-educated bury her brother, but due to her and unsuperstititious, is the only uncle's decree, she would be killed one who's truly possessed by if she did. To further complicate ghosts, and her story brought a things, she is in love with her lump the size of a tennis ball to my cousin, and he is in love with her. throat. McPherson, with spine-tin- She dies in the end; this is Greek gling ease, makes use of confes- tradegy after all. sional monologues to build dra- Human emotions haven't matic tension. He persuasively changed, it's just our situations suggests old Ireland, possessed by that are different. Civil war still hallucinations; by an eerie sense of exists, as do hate, incest, love and, the supernatural. for all our cynicism, fragility. So, do Eavesdropping in a rural Irish you still think Greek drama is bar turned out to be a wonderful irrelevant? experience, full of tragedy and Julia H comedy, and a deep persuasive sense of humanity. The Weir unites Antigone is showing at the the Irish love of fable with the Riverside Studios, Hammersmith Chekovian sense of waste, with thing to do with salad next week. See diary pages for every character either having lost Photo: Seeta more detail, or email me at Felix something precious, or never hav- for more details inS gained anything. This is a won- Just enough room this week to say: come along to Salad Days, it's great, derful play, beautifully set, and and also ULOG are performing Fidler on the Roof next week, which is well-acted, go and see it, it will also worth going to see. Plugging your own show makes this job worth- stay with you for weeks. while. (Heaves deep sigh, audience reach for Kleenex) Julia H Arts Ed 24 COMPS 8. PUZZLES 6 March 1998

PUZZLES

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD ACROSS DOWN

By Ed Sexton I EC retreat in cake (6) Part of head; a country (5) 5 Lone UN church creates Aging Vera makes mean calcu- meal (8) lating! (9) 9 Collect water in this bowl? Good French bone produces (5,5) band (6) 10 Insect egg in plain (4) Go the distance, yet partly still II Feline and a tidy place to important (4,3,3,5) rest (8) Nun chose fashion without 12 Rim in ship loses one sea equal (8) creature (6) Greeting Kate first, then queen 13 Strain one form of transport (4) and walker (5) 15 Address one call, losing fifty - 8 Drug battles? (5,4) that's clever! (8) 14 Edith, troubled, follows a usual 18 Jumper and anorak go mad?! system of separation (9) (8) 16 Suggests points? (9) 19 Mark, run! (4) 17 Pierre and me make a first (8) 20 Complain about bird (6) 21 Saint, with 480 pieces, flows 22 Subzero deeps hide spoil (5) (6) 24 Frown at Simon's first hood (5) 23 Writer has reduced Greek instrument by 99 - one saint! (8) 25 Nothing finishes her champion! (4) 26 Estimate a viola tune, perhaps (10) 27 Advocate, these days, conser- vationists end here? (8) 28 Frames relieve pal's half (6)

ANSWERS TO 1 107 Why Don't You Across 1. Berlin 5. Itched 9. Ort 12. Gas 13. Sofia 14. Setback 17. Oslo Stop Listening to Your Lecture 19. Slur 20. Stockholm 21. Se 23. Ad 24. Exodus 25. Dublin 26. AI 28. Nw 30. Imitation 31. Rats 32. Gear 34. Engorge 36. Praha 38. Tea 39. AND DO SOMETHING Hal 41. Argyle 42. Athens Down 2. Easel 3. Loas 4. No 5. It 6. Cask 7. Elf 8. Igloos 10. Rebuke 11. Less Useful Madrid 15. Evolution 16. Closuring 18. Osmosis 19. Smiling 22. Eel 23. Ann 26. Abrupt 27. Pagoda 29. Warsaw 33. Elton 34. Easy 35. Each 37. Air 39. He 40. La

No 1110: Cleaning Windows Win Tickets to the World Cup Recent puzzles have been a bit bunker is built straight onto the fiendish. Apologies to anyone back of the house and has a sim- who got into a fight / broke up ple square section, measuring with their best friend / committed 2m high by 1.5m deep. Roy's Yes, this is actually true. Felix, in conjunction with EDS (the murder while arguing about the ladder is six metres long, and for official IT providers of the cup) and Gradunet are offering four solutions. In the interests of san- security he wants it to touch the tickets to see live matches in the France 98 World Cup. ity, here's a nice simple one for corner of the bunker as well as you all this week: the floor and the wall. The ques- A window cleaner, let's call tion is: Your Prize: First prize is a pair Your Job: To win these exclu- him Roy, is trying to clean the How far up the wall will the of tickets to see England vs sive prizes, all you have to do first-floor panes at the back of ladder reach? Colombia plus return tickets is pick the 22 players that you ones of those old Victorian ter- Easy, eh? on Eurostar. think Glen Hoddle will be tak- races with the coal bunkers. The Second prize - see Croatia ing to France in June. To vs Jamaica from the corporate enter, see the gradunet web The solution to puzzle 1 107 (Game Show Puzzler) is always box. Runners-up could site at www.gradunet.co.uk, change your selection as it doubles your chances of winning. receive one of dozens of and hit the EDS logo. Correct answers were received from Aveesh Acharya, David smaller prizes of France 98 Deadline is 1 May. Bon French, Nathan Borgeaud, Darren Hubbard, Vaskor Basak, and merchandise. Chance! of course Barry Gale. They all receive an imaginary lolly-pop.

Mail or e-mail your answers to the Felix office ([email protected]). If you are correct, your name will be printed in a blaze of glory next week. Contributions of similar logic / maths puzzles gratefully received (with solutions please!) FRI 6th & *JI & nr—^K—

With A axwell, 2 supports & 2 open mics m dBs F£2.50/£2¥. pop & pure trash ip hop & RnB in UDH

Wales v Scotia from 12 Sun 8th Standin Arsenal v West H DaVinci's from 1 Tues 10th

of lager DaVinci's 8pm 26 CAPITAL 6 March 1998

DIVERSIONS FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS

BUST-A-GUT COMEDY CLUB iOJ Operatic Society p. ********************** It's A London Thing @ No.4 Titanic "The Future of Irish Comedy" Salad Days ICU Operatic Society presents Kingston. Andrew Maxwell, Marcus Salad Days Sect iiarcia; pto ig up Odeon Leicester Square Brigstocke. Alex Boardman & 34/£6. UCH front speed garage with // 55 3.50. 7 50 2 Open Mic slots. Doors open ********************** special guests. virgin Fuibam Road at 8pm. first act on stage at I0pm-3am £5 tookc rtfoi 12.15, 4 15. 8.15 Sharona Joshua & Joanna 8.30 £2.50/£2 club revie ne r rek Odeon Kensington Lunn SHAFT - 70'S disco, 80's pop . ' / 25 Royal Festival Hall & trash in dBs. and THA1 Other 1275. -1.25. 325 South Bank BOMB - hip-hop & R&B in UDH. 9-2. Free B4 9.

5 NATIONS RUGBY ICU Operatic Society presents Trinity @ The Chunnel Club, Amistad Wales v Scotland. France v Salad Days ICO Vauxhall SEI Ireland: Live on the Davinci's 34/£6, UCH Salad Days Hard House W Garage. 2 Virgin Fulham Road 8iq Screen from 12.30. Rooms. Residents DJs 12.05.3 05. 6.05. 9.05 ********************** Darren Pearce. Tony Price, virgin Hammersmith Thomas Schutte Dean Savone & Jay Dee + 12.30. 4.15. 8.10 Guests I0pm-6am. £7 b4 I Ipm, £10 after. Info. 0181 305 2017

STANDING ROOM ONLY Office Party FA Cup action - Arsenal v Ante Room Gallery West Ham. Barnsley v Odeon Kensington Newcastle. Live on the The Contemporary Print Show i 15 6 55. 9 ?' DaVinci's Big Screen from Concourse Gallery Late Fri. Sat 12.15 12.30. Barbican Centre Virgin Chelsea 630. 8.-15 Art Treasures of England UC1 Whiteleys Royal Academy of Art after info' 0171 272 4185 o 6 4 Piccadilly

ICSF video Showing - Piero Manzoni Swaraj @ Blue Note. Good Will Hunting Babylon 5 - 12.15. 6.00in Hoxton Sq. library Hyue |id Experimentation with Odeon Kensington RAG Week Balearic beats. D&B and 12.40. 3.35. 6.30. 9.25 Martin Taylor - hypnotist Instruments of Deceit Breakbeats sitting along side Late Fn, Sat 12.10 7pm in dBs classical Indian Ghazals and UCI Whiteleys 155 Vauxnali Street. 2E fierce Tabla beats 12.15. 3.05, 6.00. 8.50 I0pm-3am. £5/£3 Cone virgin Chelsea Info: 0171 729 8440. 12.30. 3.30. 6.20 9.15

STA BAR TRIVIA RAG Week The Frogs Kiss The Girls Win £50 cash or a crate of Courtyard Theatre lager 8pm. £5.50 Eclectic music policy trance Virgin Chelsea Jiifikber dr r n h" 2 V 130. 6 15 9.5

number six the dark side or house Virgin Trocadero Trafalgar Square 2000 IC. 5 20 8 15 dc * c,'tl i r I 1 oi Brixton Silly Nasty Warner West End 1,20, 3 50. 6.50. 100 „l r r H NUS L'"d<; £2 ^ i grit

xs ICSF and DocSoc Free Rim Fidler on the Roof Swerve @ Velvet Rooms Mrs Dalloway The cheesiest party tunes in Aliens Trilogy - 2pm til late in ULU. 1 st Floor Stage Charring Cross Rd. WC2 dBs, eclectic sounds in the DoC Upfront D&B. Resident Chelsea Cinema UDH 9-1, free 84 II ICU Cinema Fabio 2.20. 4.30 6.40. 8.55 Spiceworld. 6pm. Face/Off Antigone I0pm-2.30am. £6/Nus£4. Odeon Haymarket 8.30pm Concert hall £2 Studio 3. Riverside Studios Info: 0171 734 4687 1.40. 4 00. 6.30 8 50 members £1 membership on first vist.

COCKTAIL NIGHT OF BarNight - 7pm in Union The Local Club Mink @ The fn&Out Self explanatory - DaVinci's 5- Bar Standpoint Gallery Aquarium, Old Street ICUC 45 Coronet St, Nl Indie Dance. Shock Rock, Odeon Marble Arch hardcore disco and big XXX Antigone beats + swimming late Fn, va* 11.55 Studio 3. Riverside Studios pool/Jacuzzi. Dress pure virgin Chelsea Crisp Road W6 trash/rock chic. 1.30. 4 W: 6.50 9.30 £9/£6 9pm-3am. £5 / cheap drinks ail night Info: 0171 729 9779 6 March 1998 STARS 27

HOROSCOPES

Sagittarius (23/11 - 23/12) Gemini (22/5 - 21/6) Resorting to the enforcement of Wisdom is the governing Southwell Hall diplomaticiitactics^^tteinfluential King of Wands searches for an ami- pathway of, personal evolution Subwarden Position cable resolutilaito^* confrontation through life.frofoutjid courage and brewing beWw fneiras. Sincere endurance, { indicated by the Southwell hall is an undergraduate hall in Evelyn Gardens (fantastic loca- reconciWtion Involves mutual resilient powser of Strength, provide tion, and only 15 minutes walk from campus). We currently have 95 stu- compromise whilst addressing the a calm and rational approach to an dents who move into the Phase-1 renovated section this Easter. Next delicate object of rivalry. unexpected situation. October, Phase-2 renovations will be complete and we will have around 200 students. Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) Cancer (22/6 - 22/7) Through artistic creativity and gift- The influence of the flirtatious Nine As a subwarden, you will work as part of the wardening team that is ed ability, the initiati an enter- of Cups ensures granted favours, responsible for the pastoral care and discipline of the students. Along with prising venture, su d by the through persua- the day-to-day running of the hall, there are a wide range of social events enthusia: s, promis- sive cl ig elo- es the to organise. of suc- quence by 'arsecret wish, cess. Howevi of fame occupa otivajpn is and fortune represHnfS a destruc enhanced our habitual You will need to be a caring and mature individual who has the energy to tive hindrance joie de vivre. work hard for the hall and who is comfortable with responsibility and willing to take the initative. In return, you will receive rent-free accommo- dation in a newly renovated environment. The position is available from Easter-98.

Application forms are available from the accommodations office at 15 Horoscopes Princes Gardens and should be returned to Dr. D. Britton in the Physics -with Department before March 16th 1998. Nana This is a great opportunity to join

at the start of a new Southwell. Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) Leo (23/7 - 23/8) The authoritative Emperor, high- Concerned by financial prospects lighting your stubborn and contra- or professic s, the sensi- dicJSIL mdlfiJilden

28 February: For the first time in its prise to no-one. They organised history, Imperial College Rifle and the event and thoroughly deserved ICUBC II v CXWH ICUAFC I v RHUL I Pistol club sent teams to the BUSA their win. The event was only The seconds of Imperial made What a confidence booster thi clay pigeon championships. We marred by the shockingly unsport- their big step towards competing turned out to be in our last garni fielded two veteran teams, some ing behaviour of the Cambridge A in the ULU Premier Division next before the ULU Cup Final agains members having shot clays as team, having second place Bristol the LSE. many as four times before. We B team disqualified so they could year: . An excellent performance arrived expecting bottom of table take 3rd. (No more than I'd expect by Naz Girnary (20 p.) in the Holloway were simply secom ranking and had already worked from the, masonic bastards - Ed) offense and a passionate game in best against an Imperial side whici out our excuses. They involved our All the other teams got on like defence by all the IC players is probably the best in the leagu teams inexperience, sleeping in the the best of friends. Rupert and a brought the natural result. when on form. And on form the minibus, the blizzards and hail- Harper Adams lass took this one Ilias lliadis, even though he were, especially Spanish strike storms we had to endure during stage further and reputedly was trusted by his coach in this dif- Alex Marcos who was outstanding shooting and the culture shock of engaged in acts that I'd never try to ficult game, couldn't cope with the while Dave Stewart put in a com leaving the big city (complete do to my best friend. intensity of the confrontation with manding performance in midfield. strangers kept coming up to us and In other BUSA news, ULU rifle the opponent's forwards and had It is true, however, tha saying hello! What the hell is that team, five out of eight of whom are to leave the game early and made Holloway took an early leao all about?) ICURPC members, one their BUSA Theodore regret his choice for this Psycho was probably lucky to b As it turned out, such excuses regional final with a score of 1171 key position of the centre. awarded a yellow card by a colour we unnecessary. Both teams (ex 1200) that was one point off Congratulations to all of the guys blind referee shortly after, while i

- achieved very respectable mid the BUSA record. Gallant captain in the team. would be untrue to describe Don. table rankings (Southampton rather Gareth lead from the rear, as it ICBC II 66 - 51 Charing Cross Keane's performance as superb than Crystal Palace.) The rest of the were. On the subject of Gareth, we Jamie Foulstone equalised fror results - Harper Adams winning must just wish his girlfriend a the spot, Amo beautifully pu everything in sight - came as a sur- happy 16th birthday. Imperial in front before Foulston got his second with a sensation; shot from 35 yards which flew inti IC Shooter Takes a Bow Ski Stuff the top corner. In the second ha top scorer Warren Brayn got a cou pie, Stewart got some reward fc his efforts, while Holloway too This weekend was the annual there were about 120 people par- Amidst vodka, talk and the bitter advantage of some poor handlin. Halifax Indoor Archery Champ- ticipating in the event" said our cold, the team consisting of by Keane to get some consolatior ionship at the University of Dundee delighted contestant. David, Gaz, Rufina, Sarah, Izabella ICAFC 16-2 RHUL I - one of the very few BUSA archery Sasha came an impressive sec- and Richard established them- tournaments organised throughout ond in his class, firmly putting IC on selves as a force to be reckoned the year. the archery map. with. Gaz and Rufina both came The newly formed 1CURPC For all of those interested, third in their categories and the Archery Wing sent Sascha Klengel training takes place at the Sports team reached the semi-finals in Rowing (Phys 2) to represent the College at Centre on Mondays from 5-10 pm. the knockout competition. archery for the first time ever. "The Sessions are led by an experienced The Autumn term was largely spen event was very well organised; coach who caters for all levels. in small coxless boats with 20- boats going out regularly at week ends. The few "golden feet" wh< mastered the art of steering whils looking in the wrong direction man Dancing aged to allow crews to win penant Results Hockey at the fours head of the river am put in strong showings at th« The beginner's quickstep final had ICUHC I v HOLLO WAYnationa l squad trials for both thi Football begun. For once we were oblivious men and women. Saturday to the surroundings: the food court IC went ahead, with possibly the This term has seen further sue ICUAFC 16-2 Holloway 1 of a shopping centre had seemed goal of the game. A series of pass- cess at squad trials and a stron, to be an interesting choice of ICUAFC II 1 - 2 RFH I es led to sid drilling the ball past contingent of both men am ICUAFC 111 3 - 1 Holloway IV venue foe the SUDA (Southern the defenders into the net. This women will be going forward ti ICUAFC IV 3 - I St Georges II Universities Dance Association) was followed up by the season's final trials for U23 and senic ICUAFC V 0 - 0 KCH annual competition. most ridiculous celebration, lead- squads. The women's eight ha Wednesday Saturday 21 February heralded ing to a hefty fine. moved from strength to strengtl ICUAFC II 3 - 3 Kings II success for the IC Dance team; The game opened up to allow and having established a clea ICUAFC III 5 - 0 UCH II with the A team winning the team more action from both teams. But advantage over Cambridge ma; ICUAFC V 0 - 0 RFH II match as well as several other as IC scored a second, Holloway seriously consider an overall tO| prizes in other competitions. The woke up and drove one back at us. 3—4 placing the women's head o Hockey Latin team came out tops as the A After a flukey uneventful goal IC the river race. ICUHC 13-3 Holloway I team cha-cha-cha couple (Ooh was 3-1 ahead, but the opposition The Elite part of the club has ' ICUHC II 0 - 2 Holloway III matron - Ed) made the Sun. would not give up. Towards the members training full time with thi RSM 10-1 SBLH III Encircled by the temptation of end they slotted two sly shorts into Great Britain senior squad at pre shopping and an audience of the goal. sent. Saturday is the Women' Basketball weekend shoppers Imperial Our cup final is 14 March, and Head of the River Race — 28( ICUBC II 66-51 CXW College Dance Team withstood the supporters are more than welcome. crews will race and Imperial hav> pressure. ICUHC 13-3 Holloway I four crews entered. This handy pull-out contains all you need to know to make the most of RAG Week.

Come to the RAG Week meeting (Friday, 1:10pm @ dB's) to find out more.

Be Mad! Be Silly! Be Part of It! Rag Week Pull-Out

ICU RAG WEEK,

ICU RAG WEEK '98

Mon 9th March HYPNOTIST dB's @ 7:00pm

Tues 10th March SLAVE AUCTION Union Concert Hall @ 12:00pm

Wed 11th March KILLER Everywhere Until Last Man Standing

Fri 13th March THE GREAT Union Building HEDGEHOG HUNT 8pm onwards

Sat 14th March S.N.K.P.J. Somewhere Near @ 10:00am

Wed 18th March RSM 70's 3-LEGGED Union Bar PUB CRAWL Between 6-7pm

We are also encouraging people to create their own money raising events - this is how you win the special prizes at the bottom of the page. Simply, come to the RAG Week meeting, and let us know what you are up to.

The observant of you may have noticed posters advertising SPONSORED PARACHUTE JUMPING, on behalf of Shelter. If you're idea of fun is falling thousands of feet from a plane towards a very solid earth, then get in touch.

RAG Week Special Prizes: £50 Mug £150 T-Shirt Rag Week Pull-Out 3 MASS DEBATE '98

Killer buy one. They're always good for tidying the odd WANNA SLAUGHTER YOUR FRIENDS? ELIMINATE room, or two and taking lecture notes! If you think ABSOLUTE STRANGERS ? you can't afford your own slave, why not form a Throughout the week, we will be running Killer. The consortium. idea is simple: on signing up you are given a target to eliminate. Once eliminated, you proceed to eliminate your target's target and so on. All the The Great Hedgehog Hunt while, however, you are trying to avoid being killed A typical Friday night at the Union - I think not. by your own killer, who may change when they are Hedgehogs have escaped from the Biology killed by their killer. Confused? Never mind - take Department seeking freedom from scientists who part anyway. It's great fun and there are CASH think culture is to be found in petri dishes. Trapped PRIZES for the most inventive kill, and the within Beit Quad, they quiver and shiver awaiting Survivor. To take part, collect an application form rescue. Can you help them? OK then, how about from the Union Office or come along to the RAG if I told you of the small rewards for all those meeting. - You'll need two passport-sized rescued? Watch out, they could be watching you! photos, and £2.50. License to hunt - 50p Hypnotist S.N.K.P.J. Martin Taylor (ex-IC student), hypnotist By now, you may have heard all about the extraordinaire is back! After five years in exile from Sponsored Nude Kamikaze Parachute Jump, but ICU the man himself is here to entertain, delight, for those of you who haven't, let me inform you. amuse and mystify. Martin Taylor explains the This is a little activity where a certain number of history and practise of hypnosis, and throws in a people jump out of the back of a minibus outside few jokes, and will attempt to hypnotise anybody Harrods, wearing an invisible parachute. This is who wishes to be hypnotised. Some people regard usually done, as rapidly as possible but for the hypnosis in the same light as astrology, maddest amongst you there is a prize for the last demonology and corn circles. It's not. It is a person back in college! genuine feature of the human mind. But don't be afraid of coming along, as he won't do anything too evil without your permission. If you want to see RSM 3-Legged this, or be part of it, then come along. This show 70s Pub Crawl usually sells out very quickly and we advise you to Don those flares, dig those collars, as Boogie buy tickets in advance from the Union Office. A Nights hits South Ken. Wednesday night is RSM's bargain at £3.00. NB. No boys & girls under 18, 70s Pub-Crawl and just to make sure you don't lose Members of IC only. By the way this is called a your friend you'll be attached by the leg. A 'Hypnotism Lecture with Presentation" (Don't bonafide excuse for not walking in a straight line, if worry! It's a legal thing!) ever I heard one!! Meet 6-7pm Union Bar, for the magical mystery tour visiting the Queen's Arms, C&G Slave Auction Finnegan's Wake, Bricklayers' Arms, the Rat and On Tuesday lunchtime it's the City & Guilds' annual Parrot, Ennismore Arms and Southside. And with slave auction. If you haven't signed up yet and you an optional trip to the infamous Kwality Tandoori. want to, do it quick. The general idea is that people are sold as slaves to people or groups that then have the services of that person for a day. If you don't fancy being a slave then go along and

£750 Tankard £1500 Portable CD Player 4 Rag Week Pull-Out

RAG - eh ?! By now everyone should know what RAG (Raising Nominated Charities 1998 And Giving) is. The main aim is to raise money for charity whilst having a fun time. This may seem Leukaemia Research Fund aims to improve impossible, but it does work. I feel totally justified treatments, find cures and prevent all forms of in saying this as everybody who turns up to a RAG leukaemia and the related blood cancers including Week event will automatically raise some money Hodgkin and other lymphomas, myeloma, the for the worthwhile charities we support this year myelodysplasias and aplastic anaemia, through and hopefully experience some of the best ways to nationally organised research of the highest enjoy yourself that's legal. calibre, guided by international collaboration.

Why bother I hear some of you say? Primarily, we People's Dispensary for Sick Animals are supporting needy causes, but then some (PDSA) was founded in 1917 to provide free people would say we students are a fairly needy medical or surgical treatment to animals belonging cause and shouldn't we be out extracting money to persons who appear to the Society to be unable from people who already have tons of money? to afford the services of a veterinary surgeon. However, there are people in situations that are Each year 1.4 million free treatments are carried magnitudes worse than ours. It's only by taking out in 48 PDSA Veterinary Centres located some time out and really look at the world that we throughout Britain on sick or injured animals whose begin to recognise the needs of others. By going needy owners qualify for its charitable service. out and making some money you are showing that you care, no matter how small the amount raised. Riding for the Disabled Association is the The ultimate aim of RAG is to make money for national charity for riding, and physiotherapy on charity. Naturally, this doesn't happen on it's own horseback - known as Hippotherapy. They provide and we need as many people as possible to get disabled and impaired people the opportunity to involved. improve their physical and mental health through education and fun with horses. Rag Stock Sale At all the above RAG event we will be selling a IC Community Action Group organises twice large amount of bygone RAG memorabilia - weekly soup runs, distributing sandwiches and hot including T-shirts, Mugs, Pint Glasses. Of course, drinks within Central London. They also organise this year's infamous RAG Mag will also be on sale, weekly visits to Parkcare - a home for elderly as well as many others from previous years and people near college, and support the ROMA project other universities. - which provides residential support for drug users.

Interested in RAG? Beer Festival We are continuously looking for people to help At this stage, we would like to thank the RCSU, for organise and attend RAG events - should you feel organising such an outstandingly successful Beer up to the challenge, please contact us today: Festival earlier this academic year. Unfortunately, e-mail: [email protected], college wouldn't let them run another one so soon Internal mail: RAG c/o ICU - Roll on October. Thanks again! Telephone: Ext. 58099.

Acknowledgements The RAG Committee would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to the following people, without who's help and support these and other events could never take place: Andy Heeps, Rob Clarke, Charlie Joynt, Mark Home, Mandy Hurford, Michelle Lewthwaite, Neil O'Shaughnessy, Jeremy Thomson & Felix, Andy 'Inky' Thompson & Print Unit, C&GU, RCSU, RSMU, Jon Lambert, Jane Hoyle, Pat Baker, Zona O'Sullivan, Louise van der Straeten and of course you - the students and anybody else we have forgotten!!!

RAG Meetings are held in dB's every Thursday @ 1.10pm