TATTLER, “We Don’T Expect Much Reaction to the New Rules
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Shocker in Detroit! This afternoon, ABC/Disney T40 WDRQ/Detroit Volume XXXI • Number 13• April 1, 2005 dumped All the Hits All the Time 93.1 DRQ and launched 93.1 DOUG- THE FM. We play...EVERYTHING!. DOUG is another version of the JACK format. The entire WDRQ air-staff has exited, including PD Alex Tear AIN TREET and MD Keith Curry. Morning show host/APD Jay Towers is the only M S staff member who remaiins. The station is currently jockless. Communicator Network Smoke ‘em If You Got’em Dept. ABC’s rock KQRS/Minneapolis took advantage of the new non-smoking law in Minneapolis/St. Paul which T AA TT TT LL EE R prohibits smoking in all public places, including all bars and restaurants T R in Minneapolis. The new law become official yesterday, but the KQ Morning Crew declared the law had been rescinded after just one day Publisher • Tom Kay/Main Street Marketing & Promotion because officials “deemed the no smoking law a disaster.” The team “What A Fool Believes...” reported mythical spokesperson Rick Monday, a representative for “Minnesotans For Indoor Air Freedom” declared the law was removed Clear Flannel President Hulk Hogan told Wall Street investors because citizens deserved the right “to smoke in elevators and his company is changing gears and will be offering “More Is Less” hospitals.” Needless to say, the station’s phones lit up with anxious to advertisers. The new philosophy incorporates the idea that for listeners demanding details. After 90 minutes worth of fun, the station each spot an advertiser buys on the group’s stations, they’ll announced the April Fool’s joke shortly after 9AM. But that didn’t stop receive at least 5 spots for free! Said Hulk, “Hell, our crack sales KQRS’ phones - nor listeners who left their radios before the prank was revealed - from lighting up all day! guys have been whoring out spots for years. This finally recognizes the fact.” When told about the new direction for the Federated Media Country WQHK (K-105)/Ft. Wayne morning stars were conglomerate, Chairman Lowry Mayonnaise was unable to be seen at their new jobs on April 1 – pumping free gas! Dan, BJ and revived for a comment. Dude had been telling their radio audience for the past few days that they would be leaving for a new station, and they made good on the Hokum Networks is launching a new talk format, espousing Nazi promise, heading to a nearby gas station after signing off to give away free gas to the first 105 cars. The career shift is only temporary, however, ideals. Said President H. Goering, “Our hosts lean in that and the crew will be back as usual..’til next April 1st. direction, anyway.” The new presentation is being dubbed the Jack Boot format. Meanwhile, up in Ohio, Infinity WLVQ/Columbus listeners were in for a shock if they tuned in between 7 and 9 am, as the Heritage Rock station Riflescope Records announced a novel idea to sell more hip- broadcast in Spanish as 96.3 El Toro. Poorly translated: ÁAbril Enga– hop/rap CD’s: it will provide a brand new handgun with each a! album sold! Company spokesperson, rapper 49 Scent, rhymed It’s April in Bedford, IN, and of course that means time for the Salute to “This ain’t no f#&*-ing Christmas Carol/Gots my logo on the Spring Parade...at least according to News/Talk WBIW-AM and Oldies barrel!” The concept was created by his late partner, Game-Over. WQRK/WQRJ! The stations got into the spirit by spending the week promoting the event and then broadcasting “live coverage” of the parade, Apple announced a new device which not only stores complete with police escorts, floats and marching bands. Townsfolk downloaded music but provides occasional puffs of marijuana who showed up to see the festivities were disappointed, however, when the empty streets clued them into the stations’ joke: it was all created in smoke when the device is activated. It believes the new High- the studio! No word yet on whether or not the kids who thought they Pods will be on the market for the holiday season, but no one were going to see a parade have stopped crying. from the company could stop giggling long enough to confirm. Forever ending the debate that left-handed people are smarter than In a surprise move, the FCC – which already assesses half-million right-handers, several of the former drove 180 miles from Pennsylvania dollar fines for obscenity - moved to add new words to those to Boardman, OH to eat at a new restaurant named SouthPaws, only to realize they’d been duped. Touted by Cumulus Top 40 WHOT/ radio cannot utter. Those words are “live”, “local talent”, “news Youngstown, PA’s Wake Up with AC, Kelly and DC show, the restaurant department”, and “profit”. New FCC chairman Dean Martin told was to cater to lefties, featuring left-handed silverware, coffee mugs The TATTLER, “We don’t expect much reaction to the new rules. and booths. Unfortunately, there is no such restaurant, only a defunct Those words haven’t been used by radio in some time.” Chi-Chi’s, boasting boards in the windows. The Tattler, however, would like to offer those nice folks who drove all that way and were A new syndication company is being formed which will offer radio disappointed, a deal on some exclusive left-handed condos opening in talk shows hosted by members of Warrant, Skid Row, Poison, Minneapolis...we accept only left-handed cash or checks. and Whitesnake. Hair America debuts sometime this summer. A radio icon with links to the Midwest has died. Legendary KFRC-AM/ San Francisco morning man Dr. Don Rose died in his sleep earlier this President Bush apologized to Sirius yesterday for the accidental week due to complications from pneumonia. The native of North Platte, downing of 2 of its satellites in an errant missile attack. Said the NE was 70 years old. He began his career at KOIL/Omaha in 1956, President, “Intelligence told us they represented a Stern warning and later moved to WEBC/Duluth, MN. In 1972, he came to San for America. Sorry...I thought it was another Osama threat.” Francisco and commanded the radio in the 1970s and 80s with his morning show, incorporating hallmark sound effects and silly jokes. Dr. If you’ve read this far, you’ve either caught on to the ‘fake news’ Don left KFRC in 1986 but stayed in touch with listeners via his website of our April Fool portion of today’s TATTLER...or you’re begun http://www.doctordonrose.com. Dr. Don returned to the air last week on vocational counseling in a search for a new profession. If you’re KFRC’s morning show and shared a quote: “May the LORD bless you still with us, as Paul Harvey might say, stand by for “...the rest of on your way in and on the way out”. Those words are being used at the the story(-ies)!” end of each hourly memorial tribute on the station. MAIN STREET MARKETING & PROMOTION, 4517 MINNETONKA BLVD #104, MINNEAPOLIS, MN 55416 PHONE/FAX: 952.927.HITS (4487)/927-6427 Publisher: Tom Kay at [email protected] Web: www.main-st.net ADD WRHT! WRVQ 41x! WNCI 37! Added KKMG WKSS KRUF WZKL KLSY Jerk It Out Jessie’s Girl Minneapolis-St. Paul Winter Book, Phase 2 Trend. ABC rocker KQRS St. Louis Winter Book, Phase 2 Trend. Infinity N/T KMOX slides but rules the monthly roost. KQRS-FM 9.3-9.7, WCCO-AM 8.1-8.3, KEEY- not enough to lose the top spot. KMOX-AM 9.4-8.6, KEZK-FM 7.9-7.6, FM 7.3-7.0, WLTE-FM 5.9-5.9, KSTP-AM 4.8-4.9, KDWB-FM 4.6-4.6, WIL-FM 5.8-6.0, KSHE-FM 4.4-4.9, KSLZ-FM 5.0-4.6, KIHT-FM 4.3- KQQL-FM 4.5-4.4, KSTP-FM 4.1-4.2, KXXR-FM 4.6-4.1, KTCZ-FM 3.9- 4.4, KYKY-FM 4.3-4.4, KLOU-FM 4.3-4.3, KSD-FM 4.2-4.2, KMJM-FM 4.0, KTTB-FM 3.4-3.2, KJZI-FM 2.5-2.8, WXPT-FM 2.7-2.7, KFAN-AM 4.5-4.1, KATZ-FM 3.3-3.7, WFUN-FM 3.1-3.6, WVRV-FM 3.2-3.4, KFTK- 2.4-2.3, WWTC-AM 1.9-1.6, KLBB-AM 1.1-1.0, KLCI-FM 0.8-0.9, FM 3.1-3.3, KTRS-AM 2.8-3.3, KPNT-FM 3.5-3.2, WSSM-FM 3.1-2.8, WFMP-FM 1.0-0.9, KTNF-AM 0.9-0.7, WDGY-AM 0.4-0.6, WGVX-FM KFUO-FM 2.3-2.3, KATZ-AM 2.0-1.8, KFNS-AM 1.3-1.5, WRDA-FM 0.7-0.6, WGVZ-FM @ 0.6-0.5, WWJO-FM 0.5-0.4, WGVY-FM 0.2-0.1. 1.5-1.5, WRTH-AM 0.6-0.8, WGNU-AM 0.4-0.7, KSLG-AM 0.5-0.5, All Phase 2 Winter Book Trends found in this TATTLER are 12+, M-Su, WESL-AM 1.0-0.5, KNSX-FM 0.6-0.4. 6A-12M, Winter Phase 1 – Winter Phase 2 comparisons, unless otherwise noted.