Child Abuse: It Happens in the Best of Homes

August 1, 1979

Child abuse: it happens in the best of homes

How to cope with loneliness

Don't blame God for earth's heartaches

How to teach moral values to children under three GOD'S WORD KNOWS

In an attempt to personalize the Bible for his people, lang Fuh Seng depicted characters from the Scriptures in Chinese dress and with Chinese features. At age 12, Jesus in the temple (above left) discusses Bible prophecy with the religious leaders of His day. Nicodemus (above) discovers from Jesus the meaning of the new birth. A woman seeking healing (below left) reaches to touch the hem of His garment.

2 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Cover by Dave Darner; inside photography courtesy of Marye Trim X10 LIMIT THESE TIMES, who in turn would This Chinese New Testament, likely the only one of its pass it on to a million or two more? kind in the world, placed me in touch with a former Most certainly the move and the opium addict and drunkard who received healing from meeting brought me closer to what is probably the real beginning of the message on its pages some seventy years earlier. this story within a story. I found it in my new neighbor's sitting room by Marye Trim among the family photographs and various translations of the Bible that he read daily. "This is a remarkable HIS is a story of several Then our new neighbor—a slightly book. I would like to show it to beginnings. I ask myself, stooped, elderly man of medium you." His voice grew warm; his T marveling, "When did it really height, with silver hair and hand trembled in eagerness. begin?" welcoming brown eyes—greeted us. Intuitively I knew that I sat on the Did it begin that winter day when "Hello," he said in cultured tones. edge of discovery. the news that we had to move struck "Welcome to this neighborhood." "It is a very old Chinese New us with a chill colder than the air We liked him immediately and Testament, written in the Mandarin outside? stepped in. As we did, a wall motto dialect and published by the British At that moment a despair more caught my eye. Baffling words, they and Foreign Bible Society in the last numbing than frost tempted me to had been flamed onto a wood century. See how it opens—at the question God's integrity and plaque. "PERHAPS TODAY," I back, in the opposite way from leading. Surely He wouldn't read. English books. I am very privileged authorize such a needless My neighbor smiled as I said the to own it. It may be the only one of expenditure of effort and energy! words, nodded with approval its kind in the world today." Then, contemplating as I gazed because they had caught my "Oh?" I asked. through a thawing windowpane, I interest, and proceeded to explain. "It is made unique by the artwork wondered whether perhaps "I have been a Christian and it contains, painted by brush and Omniscience recognized those in a loved the Lord since I was a small inserted by its original owner." new neighborhood who needed boy." He smiled at Billy. "All my life me—or did I need them? Was this I have served Him; and now that I A visit to the past. My neighbor move, in fact, leading to a new and am in my eighty-eighth year—living continued to display his Chinese exciting experience in Christian alone, for my wife is at rest—I am New Testament and to tell further of living? waiting for the Lord. Perhaps today its origin. As he did I stepped back But perhaps this story within a He will come again. Or perhaps into a past age via the mists of story began soon after we completed today He will take me in sleep. imagination. our move, when my small son and I Whatever He does is right with me!" The year became 1890, the visited our new neighbor. My We moved into his sitting room, scene—the young country of husband had previously met him. where a similar motto again caught Australia. The first character to step "You'll like the old gentleman," he my eye. He continued, "I put these onto the stage of my mind was a had told me. "He's an individual. mottoes where my visitors see them young woman named Mary Booth. You'll find out why." so that I can speak for my lovely "I am going to China," she told her So son Billy and I stood at our Lord. Perhaps today He will come! friends, her face glowing with neighbor's door. The garden we had And until He does, I tell Him every anticipation. "I am going with the passed on our way indicated care, morning, 'Lord, if You've got pioneer party of Australians to join for long-stemmed daffodils bobbed anything for an old fellow to do the China Inland Mission. I feel behind a border of primulas and today, please show me.' " called to serve my Lord in this way." other gay spring flowers. Yet the We exchanged understanding Now the scene changed to the patio appeared cobwebby and smiles and passed farther into his terrain and climate of the Orient. But unswept. We waited. house. That moment may have been who was this in Chinese dress and another of the several beginnings to braids, eating, speaking, and living this story. according to the customs of inland Marye Trim, a New Zealander by birth living in China? The same serene eyes and Australia, is a free-lance writer and member of the Was I destined to meet and know fair skin of scene 1 told me it was Australian Society of Women Writers. She has this Christian gentleman? to be fired none other than Mary Booth. authored two books for children and written inspirational articles, stories, and poems for secular and challenged by his motto? to One day she met a wealthy and religious journals. 0 1979 by Marye Trim. share it with half a million others in Chinese gentleman by the name of

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 3 In spite of our heartaches, turmoil, and doubt, God can use our misfortune to bless others—if we will allow Him to work through us.

Iang Fuh Seng. He owned a large black garb of a teacher; a funeral pattern. One solution for our estate with many servants and scene with the professional mourner move—this story within a story that coolies on his plantation and in his suitably attired in white and the son must be told—plus the important house. His tapestries were the of the Woman of Nain in the recognition that, for nations or richest, his dishes the finest, his appropriate burial color of red. individuals, God knows all; that food the most succulent. But Illustration after illustration testified what may appear to be turmoil and through slit evil eyes he surveyed of Iang Fuh Seng's faith and useless struggle can yet be used by his world and mocked the efforts of devotion. Him as part of His overall plan. the foreign devils from "Australee." He was a drunkard and an opium Some seventy years later, on a The missing testament. I cannot addict. spring afternoon a world away, all help wondering where Iang Fuh Yet one day Iang Fuh Seng saw this opened before me in the hands Seng's own illustrated copy of the beyond the haze of opium and of my new neighbor. Thus I, too, Bible is in today's awakening China. sensed the perfume that will always endured the heat of burning Was it long ago devoured by flames satisfy as he touched upon riches summer as Mary Booth trudged or rubble? Or is it hidden secretly that are eternal. This understanding from village to village, flinching at away, or stored in memory yet? came through Bible readings and the scorn of some and rejoicing at Where are the hearts who have prayer meetings for his servants and the transformation and salvation of known, and know, its power? How friends. "Save even me, Lord Jesus," others. I heard the flute and cymbal and when will they speak? he finally prayed. of oriental music with its own Of one thing I am sure, and that is Eventually he entered Christian peculiar scales and harmony as evil God's promise that His word will service and was ordained a Iang Fuh Seng existed amid his haze not return unto Him void: "So shall Christian minister. of opium. my word be that goeth forth out of Then I saw the born-again Iang my mouth: it shall not return unto The Holy Bible suddenly became Fuh Seng persuading his city that me void, but it shall accomplish that the blueprint of life for Iang Fuh the foreign devils spoke true words which I please, and it shall prosper Seng. He pored over its pages, of an Omniscient One who in the thing whereunto I sent it" seeing in it the Saviour for his race, transcends race, culture, and (Isaiah 55:11). for were not the Chinese people in geographic boundaries—Iang Fuh So, still today, in America, the Book? Shepherds and nobles, Seng's own Redeemer! In continued Australia, China, or anywhere, the traders and merchants, pilgrims and imagination I saw him ply his brush power of God's Word transcends prodigals, blind beggars who led on these very pages now held in my human ideology and ambition; other blind beggars—all of these he new neighbor's hands. saves from lust and slavery. Before recognized in the Chinese bazaar, In March, 1936, before her death, the return of Jesus, in every land joss house, streets, or fields. Mary Booth passed on the New there will yet be many new So he illustrated a New Testament Testament to Christian friends in beginnings—and stories within for himself, portraying the people of Sydney, Australia, with whom she stories—as lives are led and the Book as he saw them, in Chinese had furloughed several times, transformed by the Author of the dress, of Chinese features, and with solemnly charging that it should Book of life. For He is the Re-creator, Chinese customs. continue to be used in Christian the Mastermind of the new society Mary Booth saw the artwork on witness. Thus it came into my that will be translated to heaven. fine oilpaper that Iang Fuh Seng had neighbor's possession. In Greek terms the Bible describes interleaved through his New In turn my neighbor fulfilled his Jesus Christ as the Alpha and the Testament. "How vivid and end of the bargain. He used the Omega—the A and Z of our English beautiful it is!" she exclaimed. New Testament as a Sunday School alphabet. The Chinese language Seng graciously inclined his head. teacher in the Church of England, does not translate this directly as it "I will do the same for you," he and he displayed it at various does not use an alphabetical system, promised, and he kept that promise. church conferences, including one at yet the implication is the same. As With tender care he applied his Kuala Lumpur in 1968. Iang Fuh Seng and Mary Booth brush again to re-create the Chinese And one spring afternoon, as would have read, and agreed, Jesus New Testament story: the angels' daffodils, crocuses, and primulas is kai tsi and joong jieh,* the First appearance to Chinese shepherds on shared their color and perfume, my (Commencement) and the Last (Con- an inland China hillside; Mary and new neighbor shared his New clusion) for anyone, anywhere. Martha in fine Chinese gowns; Testament treasure with me. As he

Chinese disciples in Chinese fishing did so my jigsaw of petty doubts 'The first and last, intime, in Mandarin would be: "jueh hsien junks; an Oriental Christ in the locked together to make a perfect de" (the first), and "jueh joong de" (the last).

4 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Even the dead received life (above at top) from the Incarnate King of the universe. At the Last Supper (left) Jesus met with His disciples for a farewell dinner the evening before His crucifixion (above) between two thieves.

THESE TIMES (ISSN 0040-6058) is published monthly (except June and August, when semimonthly) by the Southern Publishing Association of Seventh-day Adventists, 1900 Elm Hill Pike, Nashville, TN 37210, U.S.A. Second-class postage paid at Nashville, TN. Subscription price US$12.00 a year. © Southern Publishing Association, 1979. Volume 88, No. 9, August 1, 1979.

Photograph courtesy of Marye Trim THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 5 •

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•Loneliness can strike place—even in entertainment. b

ILLIONS OF AMERICANS know Characterized by intense emotional A third kind of loneliness stems from experience what it means pain and anxiety, loneliness is closely from a sense of separateness from Mto be lonely. Singles' bars, en- related to depression. Grief and lone- God and from meaning in life. We counter groups, hot lines, quasi- liness also seem similar though dis- have found that loneliness and religious groups, singles' apartment tinct. As in grief, the lonely person is spiritual well-being are negatively re- complexes, special magazines, and highly motivated by his emotional lated: more lonely people have lower computerized dating services have pain to seek out a desired or lost rela- spiritual well-being.5 sprung up in response. tionship. (At the same time, because The lonely person is temporarily or One survey found that 26 percent of of societal norms, he or she may be- chronically unable to initiate and con- the people questioned had felt very have in ways that overtly deny this tinue significant relationships, un- lonely at some point during the pre- need.) able to gain emotional satisfaction ceding few weeks) Another found from relationships, or has had a sig- that 27 percent of unmarried women Loneliness and aloneness are not nificant relationship broken. and 23 percent of unmarried men ex- the same thing. People can experience pressed feelings of intense loneli- intense loneliness when they're with Underlying causes. Two basic ness.2 Almost three fourths of the others. Some people, on the other dynamics seem to underlie loneli- widows over fifty years of age living hand, seem to be able to entertain ness. The first is a lack of the sense of in one large American metropolitan themselves satisfactorily without belonging, a lack of assurance that one center indicated that loneliness was a needing other people around as is really wanted. Not being chosen or major problem in their lives.' much. included by others makes one feel iso- People of all ages and descriptions Psychologist Robert Weiss suggests lated and worthless. Cornell psy- apparently experience loneliness. It is that there are at least two basic forms chologist Uris Brofenbrenner recently not clear whether children and ado- of loneliness: emotional isolation and asserted that the basic core of aliena- lescents experience it differently from social isolation.4 Emotional isolation tion was a feeling of not belonging, of young adults and the elderly, or sin- involves the lack or loss of a highly rejection.6 gles differently from the married. intimate relationship with a special Loneliness seems to involve both person. General companionship with the wanting of another and the ex- Craig Ellison is professor of psychology and urban others doesn't meet the need. Social perience of not being wanted by studies, Simpson College, San Francisco, Califor- isolation refers to the lack of a more another. Anyone who has sat alone in nia. He has edited three books: "The Urban general supportive network of accept- Mission," "Self Esteem," and "Modifying Man: a bustling cafeteria has momentarily Implications and Ethics." 0 1979 by Craig W. Elli- ing friends. In both cases, there is a experienced the intertwined twinges son. desire for missing relationships. of loneliness and wanting to be

6 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photograph by Tim Menees wanted by someone. may remain emotionally distant and The second dynamic is the feeling detached for some time. When at- that no one understands. The lonely tachment behavior is finally resumed, Loneliness involves person lacks relationships in which the child is generally much more both the wanting of he is able to share intimate concerns clinging. He apparently is afraid that with another person who responds he will lose his loved one and experi- another and the with interest, empathy, and appro- ence separation again. experience of not priate overtures. Long-term effects of disrupted at- being wanted by These dynamics suggest that lone- tachment are slowly being under- liness may be experienced by married stood also. British psychologist John another. people, as well as singles. Married Bowlby has suggested that many people who become too busy in sepa- psychological difficulties—including rate spheres of activity, restrict com- psychopathic personality and depres- munication on deeper levels for fear of sion syndromes—seem to be asso- being hurt by their partner, or fail to ciated with severe and long-lasting encourage constructive intimate disruption of attachment. It seems communication will likely be lonely. highly likely that such disruption Some people suffer from long-term leads to chronic feelings of loneliness, or chronic loneliness. This includes as well. but is not limited to those with severe Much additional research needs to emotional difficulties. Others suffer be done to understand how to com- from more short-term or acute loneli- pensate for such disruptions that ness, which is generally associated might be introduced by death, di- with some kind of temporary situa- vorce, or out-of-home child care dur- tion involving lack of close relation- ing childhood. In 1974, parents of ships. more than one million children were divorced, and the figure is rising. The Basic needs of children. Three fun- long-term effects of typical institu- damental needs must be met during tional child care, or shifting a child childhood development, or chronic from one baby-sitter to another, need loneliness will be experienced. These to be seriously explored. are the needs of attachment, acceptance, and acquisition of adequate social skills. Need for acceptance. A second de- R. A. Spitz first showed that satis- velopmental need, if chronic loneli- factory physical care of human infants ness is to be avoided, is parental ac- was not enough for proper develop- ceptance. Acceptance of a child is ment.' More than one third of an in- shown by (1) meeting basic needs stitutionalized group that did not also without lengthy delays; (2) holding, receive adequate cuddling died caressing, and talking; (3) appropriate within two years. The children who and nonharsh discipline; (4) spon- survived were drastically retarded in taneous affection and mutual interac- mental, motor, and social skills. tion, such as in play. The formation of affectional bonds Negative feedback received from begins within the first weeks after those who are most significant in the birth. Children as young as one child's life forms a foundation of month pay selective attention to a self-doubt and insecurity. The re- mother rather than to a stranger, and jected child feels as though he's not show positive affection only toward good enough to be wanted by any- her.8 Some psychologists have sug- body. He is afraid to initiate interac- gested that an important cause of cry- tions for fear of further rejection. ing that appears during the first three Persons with low self-esteem feel months of life is loneliness. This kind isolated and unlovable. They are less of crying promptly stops when the open interpersonally and more likely infant is picked up and cuddled. Cry- to have their feelings hurt. Either they ing from physical need does not. assume that nobody would want any- Disrupted attachments caused by thing to do with them because they death, illness, or separation severely don't have anything to offer, or they affect children one to two years old. exaggerate who they think they are in Upon meeting the mother after sepa- ways that come out as interpersonally ration of ten days or more the child repelling.

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 7 The photos reproduced here (and at the beginning of the article on page 6) were taken by three THESE TIMES staff members (two from the art department and one from THESE TIMES editorial). Their assignment was to portray loneliness with a camera and film. We thought you'd be interested in the results of their efforts.

8 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photography by Tim Menees (top), Gail R. Hunt (left), Ralph Blodgett (above) The third factor important in un- tually no play between family mem- derstanding chronic loneliness is the bers in millions of homes. Relation- failure to acquire adequate social skills. ships inevitably deteriorate, if they Children from homes with socially were there in the first place. When atypical interaction, children with this kind of noninteraction prevails in low self-esteem, and those with dis- most of the 96 percent of American rupted attachments find it difficult to homes that have TV sets, massive develop social skills necessary to form loneliness is to be expected. and maintain close relationships. Further, some recent studies have shown that heavy TV viewers tend to Results of rejection. Subsequent re- have distorted pictures of social real- jection by peers may cause the person ity and are more distrustful, more to concentrate on the production and fearful of others. Both advertising and possession of things, rather than on program content tend to present in- relationships. Attempts to gain ac- teraction styles that promote interper- ceptance may focus on achievement sonal separation. Those who are re- and acquisition. The end result is warded are those who are the most further isolation and loneliness, be- sophisticated, scheming, unattached, cause self-esteem based on social competitive, and coolly ruthless. comparison is inevitably competitive. These are hardly the characteristics Up to this point we have focused on that establish deep, trusting relation- conditions that are more individual- ships. centered. We also need to look at sociological conditions that form the Urbanization also contributes heavily backdrop for a common socialization to society-wide loneliness. People are and living experience to explain the living physically closer together than mass loneliness marking America to- ever before but seem to be more iso- day. lated and lonely. The urban environ- Within the American experience, ment introduces suspicion and reluc- production and profit have been major tance to interact because it is difficult concerns. This has resulted in to know what the intentions of the people's being valued on the basis of other person are. Also, simply notic- how efficient they are and what they ing other people is emotionally arous- can produce or contribute to an ing. In midtown Manhattan, for employer, a community, or society. example, there are potential contacts In addition, Americans value the with more than 220,000 other people things that give them comfort and that in a ten-minute radius. make living convenient. This valuing In order to cope, people give less of efficiency, convenience, and com- time to each interaction and establish fort is carried over into human rela- highly impersonal norms. People are tionships, and these relationships in- related to only when necessary, and evitably become more superficial and then according to specific roles. Re- shallow. Deep relationships take lated to urbanization is widespread time, effort, and pain to develop. mobility. It has been estimated that forty million Americans change their •I Bureaucracy brings isolation. residence once a year. The average Specialization decreases communica- person will move at least fourteen tion possibilities between persons times during his lifetime. Between who are not specialists in the same 1970 and 1975 almost half the people thing. Understanding decreases and in America moved. Mobility tears up loneliness increases. Along with existing friendships and makes specialization comes bureaucracy and people more hesitant to try to develop impersonal norms. Interaction be- new intimate relationships. comes depersonalized and prescribed Finally, urbanization has facilitated according to roles and rules. People a decreasing consensus of values. In begin to feel as though no one really addition to being highly secular, met- understands their situation and their ropolitan areas are international cen- personal needs. ters. People from countries and cul- In addition, television has fostered tures with widely varying values separation. There is little talk and vir- come together. Tolerance of the

Photograph by Ralph Blodgett THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 9 pluralism doesn't cover up the inabil- without repentance, modern humanity of people to understand one ity has tried to get rid of God by pro- Existential another at intimate levels of value nouncing Him dead. loneliness can never commitment. However, the irony is that the re- On the other hand, in America at moval of God plunges secular man be fully overcome least, there does seem to be agreement into the depths of loneliness and de- until God and the about the Renaissance-derived values of spair without remedy. Instead of independence, individualism, free- turning to God in repentance and person are dom, and competitiveness. Unfortu- having life's most fundamental rela- reconciled. nately, the individualistic or freedom tionship restored, the secular person ethic creates a world of one, and the casts about for substitutes. Drugs, al- competition ethic fosters loneliness cohol, sex, marathon encounter ex- because of the suspicion and self- periences become part of the search, defense it generates. as do countless semireligious, semi- psychological trips. A fundamental emptiness. Even The person who denies his sin is under ideal developmental, biologi- consistently shocked by the selfish- cal, and sociological conditions, ness of those he thought he could people experience loneliness. It may trust. Attempts to become transparent come at the point of crisis, in a mo- are frustrated when openness is met ment of solitude, or at the point of by hurts of misunderstanding and re- considering one's death. Much of the jection. The essential of unconditional current love affair between Ameri- regard is humanly possible only cans and Eastern religions seems to within the confines of a carefully con- reflect the desire to overcome existen- trolled, role-defined, therapeutic set- tial loneliness by finding unity with ting, or between nonintimates. The the Divine. agape love of God that makes such an An adequate understanding of intimate union possible is foreign to existential loneliness begins in the the person who rejects God. Creation account. "Then God said, Ultimately, existential loneliness 'Let us make man in our image, after cannot be overcome until God and the our likeness' " (Genesis 1:26, RSV). person are reconciled. At the point of God is interpersonal. The interper- redemption and reconciliation we be- sonal nature of human beings is basic come the adopted children of God. to being created in God's image. We belong. In the ultimate act of over- Further evidence of this is found coming loneliness God sends His when "the Lord God said, 'It is not own Spirit to be actually one with us good that the man should be alone; I by living in us. Because we don't lose will make him a helper fit for him' " our humanity we still need to experi- (2:18, RSV). Loneliness reminds the ence belonging and understanding human being of a fundamental emp- by others. However, even if that fails, tiness in his life. we are not cast into utter panic and From the point that Adam and Eve despair, as are those who do not have chose to violate their relationship this sense of belonging. with God, they became self-centered and narcissistic. They blamed and be- 'N. Bradbum, The Structure of Psychological Well-being (Chicago: Aldine, 1969). came defensive. They were no longer R. Maisel, Report of the Continuing Audit of Public Attitudes and able to communicate trustfully with Concerns (Harvard Medical School: Laboratory of Community Psychiatry, 1969, mimeographed). Cited in R. S. Weiss, ed., one another on the deepest levels. Just Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation (Cam- judgment became perverted. The bridge, Massachusetts: The MIT Press, 1973). 'H. Z. Lopata, "Loneliness: Forms and Components," Social standard of judgment became the vio- Problems, 1969, 17(2), 248-261. lation of self-centered personal rights, 'R. S. Weiss, ed., op. cit. 'C. W. Ellison and R. Paloutzian, "Assessing Quality of Life: and the path toward emotional inti- Spiritual Well-being and Loneliness." Paper presented at Ameri- can Psychological Association annual meeting, Toronto, August macy was marked by sensitivities and 29, 1978. hurts. 'U. Brofenbrenner, "The Roots of Alienation," in N. B. Talbot, ed., Raising Children in Modern America (Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1976). God's answer to loneliness. The re- 'R. A. Spitz, "Hospitalism An Inquiry Into the Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early Childhood," Psychoanalytic Study moval of God as the center of relation- of the Child, 1945, 1, 53-74. ship was the precursor of today's sec- °L. J. Yarrow, "The Development of Focused Relationships During Infancy," in J. Hellmuth, ed., Exceptional Infant (Seattle: ularization. In order to cope with sin, Special Child Publications, 1967), Vol. 1.

10 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 DICK JEWETT

TODAY I had a look at a socially aggressive person. different kind of problem. Nor will she probably choose Ellen, sixteen, and a high her father's profession to carry school junior, came in to visit on the family honors in that and sort of get acquainted. A self-Imposed way. The way things now are, She was positively vibrant in she will always feel unfulfilled her glowing account of the or unsuccessful until or unless family as I asked about her she "measures up" to the parents and brothers and family pedigree. Which sisters. You could tell in just a straitjacket means she is trying to be as few minutes her genuine joy socially popular as her mother in family recollections and and as career-conscious as her current family relationships. father. It is tearing her apart to The father, a college professor, live up to two people so and a dynamic different from each other. personality-plus mother Because the home is such a created an atmosphere of love good home, Ellen feels a and freedom for the children success-compulsion. She feels to express themselves as duty bound to make her individuals. All told, the parents proud of her. I don't children could reasonably be imagine her parents demand included in that select so much. They probably are company "most likely to unaware of the magnitude of succeed." the pressure Ellen has I suspect Ellen will turn out assumed and would want to all right. The problems she be the first to comfort her mentioned included things with loving attention and like not being able to get assurance that they make no everything done she wanted such demands, nor do they to. And not having enough have unrealistic expectations friends—close or otherwise. regarding her future. When I inquired about her grades, I discovered an almost So what resolves the perfect student. Yet she enigma? How can we worried about her weight, being five pounds overweight Ellen hurts because she tries convince Ellen she is a which she complained was bother her? And how could too hard to measure up. The successful person? Intelligent. about five pounds too much. an A student not get enough parents have not intentionally Attractive. Has strong faith in I looked at Ellen with my done? I mean, how much imposed impossibly high God. Has, in fact, everything eyes while my ears listened to better than A can you get? standards on the girl. She has going for her—unless she spoils what she was saying. What I Then she began to cry. Not unintentionally assumed it by trying to become someone saw differed from what I with her voice. But her eyes them. Her father is in the top who will always be a stranger to heard. How could this welled up and began to spill 3 percent of the world for her. attractive young lady with an quiet tears, catching me by success in his field. The At some point in this appealing personality, I asked surprise. Why the tears? mother, a whiz-bang student adolescent crisis Ellen has to myself, not have enough It had to relate to her leader as a student, became realize she is a beautiful blend friends? And why would family. We were talking about the almost perfect wife and of her mother and father. it when the tears came. But mother. Thus she doesn't have to what? Some deep, dark However, Ellen doesn't become like either of them. It is not a denial of filial loyalty. Dick Jewett is the skeleton in the closet? Some know what she wants to pastor and special big interpersonal conflict or become. So she has to try for Rather more likely a youth counselor family communication the top 3 percent of complement. Each parent can of the Auburn problem? Further questioning everything—to keep her with loving joy realize that in Academy only increased my quandary. options open. In most areas their marriage they have truly Church, Auburn, Washington. She was so proud of her she is able to achieve high become "one" in the merged Those wishing to family that it seemed to hurt. standards and goals. But she reflections of themselves they submit youth-oriented problems or Why? How are you supposed will probably never equal her can see in the beautiful and problem situations for possible in- to help someone from a mother's record in student talented daughter. And the clusion in this column, or fora per- activities leadership. While daughter is thus free to be sonal response, please write to Dick perfect home? what no one else has been: Jewett, THESE TIMES, Box 59, The light began to dawn certainly not a social recluse, Nashville, TN 37202. slowly. Ellen is not by nature a the one-of-a-kind Ellen!

Illustration by Tim Adams THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 11 NEWS

SOME 45 percent of children born last year in the U.S. may Moscow permits live part of their childhood printing of 20,000 with only one parent because Nearly half of Bibles of the rising divorce rate, Soviet authorities have now according to a Census Bureau given the permission for the prediction. production of twenty Census analysts Paul Glick children from thousand Bibles and and Arthur Norton said 43 twenty-five thousand hymnals percent of black youngsters in Russia. According to Alexej are already growing up in one-parent Bichkov (Moscow), general one-parent households. Their secretary of the All-Union predictions appeared in the Council of Evangelical current issue of American Christians-Baptists, who Demographics magazine. homes telephoned the news to the Because of the high divorce executive committee of the rate in the overall population, European Baptist Federation, "we have estimated that 45 financially, sexually, patient, weeping Jesus. the Bible in the Soviet Union percent of all children born in physically, psychologically. Somehow He comes across as is "more popular than ever" 1978 will become members of Most of these expectations weak and effeminate. . . . among both Christians and one-parent families, for a ultimately doom us to a sense Perhaps this new and non-Christians. while at least, before they of failure." liberated generation of men He said he was trying to get reach the age of eighteen The family specialist will achieve a level of permission for the production years, if present circumstances asserted that "a two-fisted masculinity that Jesus of one million Bibles. In late continue," they said. "That is world has never appreciated achieved two thousand years 1978 the United Bible indeed a very large minority the compassionate, gentle, ago." Societies had legally shipped and the subject of concern for twenty-five thousand Bibles many about the potential and five thousand damage to children and future concordances to the Soviet society." Union at the initiative of the Russian Evangelical Men's liberation next, Christians-Baptists. According family expert predicts to the institute East West A professor of family Information Center, all those studies at Purdue University buying a Bible have to register has predicted that the at the local authorities. women's liberation movement Russian Christians estimate will be succeeded by a men's that altogether about 70 liberation movement. Dr. million Bibles are needed. Wallace Denton, who also directs the Marriage and Missionaries restricted Family Counseling Center at in Peru and Columbia Purdue, made the prediction New and proposed visa at the seminar on family life limitations in Peru and held in Orlando, Florida, by Colombia could cripple the Christian Life missionary activities there. Commission of the Southern The Peruvian government Baptist Convention. ruled in January that "I expect men to become evangelical missions can't increasingly aware of the increase their number of ways they need liberating," Jewish cemeteries vandalized in New York missionaries and that new he said. "In fact, I think we Some three hundred later at other Jewish visas will be approved only could mount some rather tombstones lie toppled at cemeteries in New York City, for missionary replacements cogent arguments to the effect Mount Hebron Cemetery in police have announced that on a one-to-one basis. Now that men need liberating as Flushing, New York, helicopters equipped with Colombia has announced much as women—and more following recent overnight powerful searchlights are now plans to actually reduce the so in some areas. The culture vandalism at the Jewish burial patrolling the graveyards each number of missionaries there has burdened us down with ground. night. by giving only one new visa heavy loads of what it means Following similar incidents for every two missionaries to be a man—emotionally, who leave the country.

12 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photograph by Religious News Service Abortions worldwide Presidency, "we have tried number 30 million disclose any findings. The to create spaces for our More than 30 million legal scientists had agreed earlier children. We've tried to give abortions are performed not to discuss any preliminary our children a sense of worldwide each year, with findings until after all the tests stability and belonging. We more than one million of them are completed and a final are a close family." in the U.S., according to a report prepared. This is report by the Alan expected to take about a year. United Presbyterians Guttmacher Institute, an Ken Stevenson, an IBM data losing seminarians to affiliate of the Planned processor from New Orleans other schools Parenthood Federation of and spokesman for the Increasing pressure on America. research team, said, "There is candidates for the ministry to Since the 1973 U.S. a strong sense that we're attend United Presbyterian Supreme Court ruling dealing with a potential seminaries is causing serious liberalizing abortion, more impact that is incredible." The debate in that denomination. than five million U.S. women Turin shroud Shroud of Turin is believed to Presently 45 percent of United have obtained legal abortions researchers meet to be the linen in which Jesus Presbyterian seminarians now in 3,000 cities, hospitals, and exchange information was wrapped after He was attend non-Presbyterian physicians' offices, the report The U.S. team of taken off the cross. The cloth schools, particularly said. researchers who made bears the back and front Gordon-Conwell and Fuller. The number of legal detailed tests on the Shroud of image of a man fitting the The recent Report on abortions in the U.S. has Turin during its exhibition Gospel description of Jesus at Pluralism presented to the increased from about 745,000 last October held a two-day His death. (See THESE TIMES 1978 United Presbyterian in 1973 to 1.3 million in 1977. meeting in Santa Barbara, article in May issue for more General Assemby predicted In recent years U.S. women California, but refused to details.) that "unless there is a have terminated almost three significant change in out of ten pregnancies by other findings of the believe smoking in public enrollment patterns, within abortion. University's Institute for places should be prohibited ten years the majority of "U.S. women obtain legal Social Research: by law. United Presbyterian clergy abortions at a somewhat •The majority of high will be graduates of higher rate than women in school seniors claim their Family is "basic place non-Presbyterian seminaries" Canada and Western personal use (or nonuse) of to stand," says First (Evangelical Newsletter, March European countries," the marijuana would be Lady 23, 1979). Guttmacher report said, "but unaffected by Declaring that providing at a considerably lower rate decriminalization. help for families "may well Six Christian women than do women in Cuba, •Regular marijuana use be the most significant honored Japan, the Soviet Union, and receives disapproval from service" that churches, the Six women have been most Eastern European about the same proportion as state, or individuals can selected as "living Christian countries." the regular use of alcohol and render in our time, First heroes worthy of cigarettes. Lady Rosalynn Carter called recognition" by the editors Marijuana use • About 36 percent of the on Christians to "meet the of Interchurch Features, an expanding rapidly seniors report having used a challenge" facing the family. informal association of nine "A University of Michigan drug other than marijuana In a telephoned address to U.S. and Canadian church study indicates that marijuana without medical supervision. the Southern Baptist publications. The women are may become a permanent Stimulants (used by one in Convention's Christian Life Mother Theresa, Dorothy recreational drug. More young four students) were most Commission in Orlando, Day, Barbara Ward, Corrie people now use it, fewer popular, followed by Florida, she noted that the ten Boom, Lee Tai-Young, associate detrimental effects tranquilizers (one in five), nation "is being altered in and Annie Jiagge. They were with its use, and fewer now sedatives (one in six), unprecedented ways," selected from a list of more disapprove of its use," reports hallucinogens (one in seven), including international than fifty women who have USA Today (February). The inhalents and cocaine (each instability, economic made a marked effect on the ongoing study, which tried by one in ten), and uncertainty, and the specter world through their faith in annually surveys seventeen heroin (tried by one in fifty). of nuclear war. "In all this God. thousand high school seniors • About 20 percent of both tumult," she said, "the An article "Six women: across the country reports, sexes are active daily smokers family alone provides the Images of Christ" has been "By 1977, 56 percent of the by the end of high school. The basic place to stand." prepared as a joint effort by high school seniors had at majority of seniors (60 Mrs. Carter said that in Interchurch Features and least tried marijuana, an percent), however, still feel spite of the demands on her was offered for simultaneous increase of about 9 percent that smoking carries a great own and her husband's time appearance in the April issue over the three years." Some risk, and over 40 percent since he decided to seek the of member publications. 6

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 13

Child abuse: it happens in the best of homes

Child abuse, experts claim, is the major killer of youngsters under five in our country. Here's how you can detect its occurrence and halt its progress— before it's too late. by Laura Hayes Gladson

14 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photograph by Joseph Baker EADLINES across the state carried of cases in the United States is cur- as likely to abuse their child as the Marsha's* name. A policeman rently thought to range from a low of poor family in the ghetto. Hwho was called to the Brown 700,000 to a high of 4 or 5 million a home early in the morning found a year; a more realistic calculation is Neglect is yet another way in which nude female about four years old that 1.6 million children are abused children suffer. Headlines in a paper lying dead on a pallet that had been each year, and 2,000 of these die. read "Dead Boy 1 of 6 Malnourished" soaked with water. Arrest, trial, and Definition of abuse might differ (The Index-Journal, Greenwood, South conviction of murder followed from one person to another, since so- Carolina, November 26, 1977). A six- quickly for Marsha's mother and step- ciety generally accepts physical pun- year-old boy died in the hospital, "all father. ishment for disobedient children. But skin and bone," one of six youngsters According to the court records, the any injury requiring medical treat- who apparently had been fed little stepfather had become angry when ment is certainly outside the range of more than a salt solution for at least a Marsha had asked for a drink of wa- normal correcting of a child. "Any month. Police said the children may ter. He beat her brutally, then gave punishment that involves hitting have been victims of a religious rite to her a drink—a fiery mixture contain- with a closed fist or an instrument, ward off demons. ing Tabasco sauce and hot pepper. kicking, inflicting burns, or throwing While thousands of children in our After further mistreatment, the child the child obviously represents child country suffer from physical neglect, was stripped of her clothes and made abuse regardless of the severity of the no one can compute the large numbers to sleep on the floor. The man re- injury sustained as a result," state who grow up without love. Not only sponded to her continued pleas for a Drs. Margaret McNeese and Joan are they themselves deprived, but drink of water by pouring water over Hebeler in Clinical Symposia (Vol. 29, they in turn cannot give love to their her. No. 5, 1977). own children. The husband and wife During the night Marsha died from beaters and the child abusers grew shock and exposure. Doctors and nurses in emergency up, in most cases, in unloving or vio- Mrs. Brown had sat watching, tak- rooms are more knowledgeable and lent homes. ing no steps to prevent her husband. alert today to the typical signs of the Still another type of cruelty—verbal Both had been convicted of abusing battered child. Injuries that do not fit abuse—while not physically appar- Marsha before. In fact, he had served the given explanations—old bruises, ent, scars children for life. Many par- time in jail for it. Yet, in spite of this, odd-shaped burns such as those from ents express horror at the shocking the courts had ordered Marsha re- a cigarette, X rays showing old reports of physical abuse but inflict moved from her foster home and re- fractures—all wave a red flag to medi- verbal damage upon their children turned to her parents. cal personnel. Present laws require without giving it a second thought. that any suspicious case be reported Comments such as, "You'll never This tragedy typifies what is happen- to the police. amount to anything," "You can't do ing in today's society. Marsha's death One mother brought her three- anything right," "Why are you so prompted an investigation into the year-old girl to the hospital to have a stupid?" leave a child stunned and state's procedures with abused chil- broken arm set. The child had fallen with a poor self-image. Many people dren. The number of children taken from her crib, the mother insisted, remember their parents' negative re- into that state's custody alone rose but X rays exposed a spiral fracture, marks much more often than their from 19,000 in 1976 to 27,000 in 1977. one resulting from twisting the arm. positive ones. A hand may never be These startling figures certainly Additional evidence pointed to raised against a child, yet he cringes should not surprise us. For one reason, abuse, but the mother still kept cus- defenselessly from a vicious tongue reporting is more accurate today. tody of the little girl. Eventually, in a and angry words. People admit more readily this type of fit of unreasoning anger at the child's For every reported case of physical offense than they did a few years ago. frightened crying, she smothered it. assault in 1975, there were two in- Child abuse is coming out of the Society had failed that child. stances of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse closet! More people have become Some agencies estimate that par- refers to any sexual activity between aware that many children are en- ents kill more children than do an adult and a child. Such victims are dangered both physically and emo- leukemia, cerebral palsy, or other dis- most frequently the school-age or ado- tionally by their parents or relatives, eases. Indeed, child abuse is "the lescent girl. Some place this crime as and that accounts for some of the in- major killer of youngsters under five high as 300,000 cases a year, though crease in reports. in this country," affirms Judith Crist incest and sexual abuse are concealed Experts close to the problem admit in TV Guide (October 1-7, 1977, p. 9). much more than other offenses. Dr. that child abuse has dramatically in- In a three-hour period the United Larry Brown of the Colorado-based creased in recent years. The number States will experience 159 robberies. American Humane Association says But in that same period of time, more that incest is virtually a closeted in-

'All names have been changed. than 340 cases of child abuse and ne- stitution in the United States: "I think glect will occur. No longer limited to that fathers who fool around with Laura Gladson, Collegedale, Tennessee, is a family racial or economic groups, this crime daughters are the number one child and marriage counselor, housewife, and mother of cuts through every strata of society. abusers of our time" (The Index-Journal, two children. 1979 by Laura Hayes Gladson. Upper-middle-class parents are just November 26, 1977, italics supplied).

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 15 turn to more severe beating. Each set of parents were advised, Some agencies es- with the next episode of such behavior, to show love and affection to timate that parents the child. The undesirable behavior kill more children diminished as a result. Psychological than do leukemia, testing and subsequent medication soon had all three children under con- cerebral palsy, or trol. The parents, once they recog- other diseases. nized the behavior was not directed toward them, learned to cope and thus to give the children the security of affection they needed. I hesitate to use the word average in reference to child abusers, for each person is different. Most people sin- cerely love their children. They experience deep guilt and are baffled by their inability to control their feelings. They realize they need help but either do not know where to seek it or hesitate to admit their need. Still others refuse to ask for help because of their social position, a reason for fewer reported incidences in middle- and upper-class societies. They have more to lose by the admis- sion, besides having the means to cover up their actions.

What happens when you report? A Understanding why. I could continue she viewed the behavior as inten- concerned individual came to me to cite case after case.with all the gory tional disobedience and punished it. about some neighbors. The father, a details, but I think we all realize that During the recession of 1975 re- leader in their church, repeatedly beat child abuse in its varied forms does ported cases of child abuse rose sig- his three children severely. In fact, the exist to a terrifying degree in this nificantly, especially in areas where Human Services Department had country. Admitting a fact is one step, unemployment skyrocketed. Loss of a questioned the children but had been understanding the "whys" and learn- job and financial worries can cause an forced to drop the case for lack of evi- ing how to stop it are next. We must individual to lose control of himself dence. The children refused to talk, go beyond the fact. and strike a child, when he wouldn't for their father had threatened: "If you Research has shown that most abu- think of doing so otherwise. tell, I'll kill you!" The mother refused sive parents are the victims of an Bobby became one of the statistics. to do anything, fearing to damage the abused childhood. They may have His mother's boyfriend beat him so father's standing in the community never learned better ways of handling badly he died. The man stood trial and the church. frustrations. As adults they are often and received only eleven months and I advised the individual that under insecure in their job, marriage, or re- twenty-nine days of imprisonment. most state laws he was responsible to lationships with other people; frustra- Just how much is a human life worth, report any suspected child abuse. tions build up, and the children re- especially if it belongs to a defenseless Failure to do so could result in a fine or ceive the brunt of their parents' emo- child? imprisonment. States protect the con- tions. Resentment against an es- fidentiality and immunity of the one tranged spouse can explode with Misunderstanding of a child's be- reporting. abuse to the children. havior can, in some instances, lead to The juvenile courts, police depart- child abuse. Dr. Albert Gary, psy- ments, and Human Services depart- Parental expectations too high for chologist, recently described three ments work together in handling any the child or inconsistent with his de- separate cases in which children were reports. Contrary to the belief of velopmental age cause many in- beaten, one to the extent of needing many, they do not automatically stances of abuse. For example, one hospitalization. In each instance, the snatch the child from his parents un- mother expected her eight-month-old parents tried to alter or stop the child's less there is a real danger to his life. infant to understand verbal com- bizarre or hyperactive behavior by Being separated from people he mands to be toilet trained and to be spanking. The punishment only ag- knows adds to the trauma of mis- quiet. When the baby did not "obey," gravated its behavior, which led in treatment.

16 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 The goal of these agencies is to pre- serve the family unit. Aid can take the form of temporary financial help, professional counseling and testing, or advice on family budgeting. At times agencies assign a temporary home- maker to the home to ease the pressure on the mother until she is able to cope. The most effective aid for the child is to relieve the family stress and to rehabilitate the family. Obviously the state becomes involved in the severe cases in order to protect the child. The borderline or hard-to-prove situations, however, are of concern also. Drs. McNeese and Hebeler report: "The consequences in families who do not receive support are dire: To date, abuse recurs in ap- proximately 50 percent of cases when intervention is not instituted. In 35 percent of these cases, a child will be severely injured or killed" (Clinical Symposium, XXIX, 1977, 3). Some studies suggest an increased amount of abuse in several groups: families with financial problems, How to stop abusing your child members of fundamentalist religious groups or other people who believe WHAT DOES A PERSON do when he realizes that he is an abusive parent? The that God expects them to vigorously following suggestions may be helpful: punish their children that they may 1. Admit that you have abused your child. Sometimes the acknowledging be raised correctly, and personnel on helps in itself. Realize that you are not alone in this, but you must take steps to military bases. While the Bible cer- stop. tainly contains admonitions for a cer- 2. Ask forgiveness. Go to your child if he is old enough to understand. Try tain amount of discipline, we must to explain your actions. Wounds will heal if you dress them with love. From place beside them the commands to love one another. "Fathers, do not Scripture you know you have forgiveness the moment you ask for it. "If we provoke your children, lest they be- confess our sins, he is just, and may be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse come discouraged," says Paul, in us from every kind of wrong" (1 John 1:9, NEB*). Colossians 3:21, Revised Standard 3. Prayer and meditation will do wonders for your spirit—and your child's. Version. Some time alone each day with God gives an inner peace. You will become calm where once you reacted violently. "Righteousness shall yield peace and Anger, loneliness, feelings of in- its fruit be quietness and confidence for ever" (Isaiah 32:17, 18, NEB). adequacy, resentment, disappoint- 4. New values. An active, sincere religious life will bring you a deeper ment—all are common to each of us. sense of value, both before God and in fellowship with others of like belief. Throughout life, we seek better ways 5. Ask for help! If your child is driving you up the wall and you fear you will of handling situations and coping lose control, call an understanding friend or relative. Or get a baby-sitter while with life. A child should not have to you get away from the situation for a while. suffer from his parents' emotional up- 6. Parents Anonymous, set up along the lines of Alcoholics Anonymous, is sets. Marsha Brown is dead. Nothing designed for parents who have abused their children. Among the warm group can change that. support, you can exchange suggestions and take courage that you can All the money flowing into the change. Marsha Brown Memorial Fund won't 7. Talk to your minister, rabbi, or priest, and ask for his sympathetic bring her back to life. Nevertheless, encouragement as you start a new life. future tragedies wait to be enacted. 8. See a professional counselor or psychologist, especially if abuse Whether we are concerned citizens, resulted in serious injury or death. You must seek professional assistance if interested neighbors, or potential sexual abuse has been involved. abusive parents, the responsibility of 'From The New English Bible. Copyright, The Delegates of the Oxford University Press and The Syndics of the Cambridge preventing further atrocities belongs University Press, 1961. 1970. Reprinted by permission. to each one of us. 6 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 17 snap up in the air and fall back in the sand. It was as if an invisible DON'T BLAME GOD hand guided each and every wave as it thundered onto the shore and The father, his eyes brimming with tears, stood on the ebbed slowly to meet the frothy curl empty beach and wondered how God could take the life of the next oncoming breaker. of an eighteen-year-old son who had so much for which But no matter its power, the precision of the raging surf could not to live. by Judie Noorbergen blot out the thoughts racing through his mind . . . the thought of seeing HE BEACH at first seemed void waters below. Shadows from the only hours before the lifeless body of of any living thing. Nothing summer cottages at the brow of the his teenage boy lying cold and alone T moved except a tiny flickering beach spread across the sand like on the sand. beam of light that steadily flashed misshapen fingers, enveloping from a lighthouse far out in the everything in their path. David, drowned while experiment- ocean. Even the wispy blades of A lone figure of a man could be ing with an aqualung, was an grass that grew out of the sand stood seen silhouetted against the crisp eighteen-year-old boy, handsome, still. A bright full moon hung low in April sky. Motionless, with misty sweet tempered, full of love, with the sky, and its shimmering rays eyes, he stared out at the deep, the challenges of life just ahead of pierced through a multitude of little mysterious water, searching for him. His father had looked down at clouds, shining down on the black answers, for reasons—for anything the body of his dead son that that would lighten the burden of his afternoon, and in anguish had cried soul. The waves roared in and Judie Noorbergen is a free-lance writer living in out, "Why, why did this have to Collegedale, Tennessee. c 1979 by Judie seemed to shake the whole happen? Why have you been taken Noorbergen. shoreline, causing tiny pebbles to away from me when you had so

18 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Illustration by Tim Adams much to live for?" the coast guard and climbed through calamities by sea and land, . . . A young priest, hastily the ranks from boatswain's mate to Satan is exercising his power" (The summoned to the scene, had commander of a ship that patrolled Great Controversy, pp. 589, 590). supplied an answer. "It is God's from Greenland in the North We must realize that this will," he blurted out, placing a Atlantic to the Massachusetts coast. earthbound master of deception reassuring hand on his shoulder. He loved the ocean, but look how it with all his cunning and cruelty has "You must understand; it is God's had rewarded his devotion! claimed this planet as his own, but will." Hiding his face in his hands, he his proprietorship is only a The distraught father, his face found his thoughts racing ahead to temporary one. God has not distorted with grief and anger, the twenty-mile drive to Boston and forgotten us. And even though at raised his eyes to the sky and his home, where his wife awaited the moment He must permit Satan shouted, "God, if You could do this, his return. to vent his fury on the earth, we if You could take my only son from "How can I tell her that our son, know as Christians that our Lord is me, then I don't want any part of our wonderful son, is dead? How of tender mercy. You! Ever!" will she understand that his "His heart of love is touched by drowning was the will of God?" our sorrows," counsels E. G. White, The beach lay empty now. "and even by our utterances of Everyone had gone. And he was The truth. But was it God's will? them. . . . Nothing that in any way alone—his heart heavy, eyes That is precisely the misguided and concerns our peace is too small for brimming with tears. As he stood erroneous idea Satan wishes us to Him to notice. There is no chapter in trying to collect his thoughts, he accept. "He [Satan] will bring our experience too dark for Him to remembered playing on that very trouble upon others," comments read; there is no perplexity too shoreline fifty years ago as a child. Ellen G. White, "and lead men to difficult for Him to unravel. No Later, because of an overwhelming believe that it is God who is calamity can befall the least of His passion for the sea, he had joined afflicting them. . . . In accidents and children, no anxiety harass the soul,

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 19 no joy cheer, no sincere prayer painful memories of that tragic day. escape the lips, of which our Satan's goal is for the But he remained nevertheless an heavenly Father is unobservant, or embittered and dispirited man until in which He takes no immediate Christian to blame God the summer of 1976 when he was interest" (Steps to Christ, p. 100). for all his troubles and rushed to a hospital with what later But God, inexhaustibly patient eventually to give up became a terminal disease. Lying in with His children, must have bed with ample time to analyze and rejoiced when one day many years his faith. recall both his accomplishments and after the accident, while David's shortcomings, he began to think of mother was reminiscing with a God and the guiding role He plays friend about the good times she had Marjorie bolted from her chair and in our lives. had with her son, she suddenly quickly fled the room. "Do you think there is anything to recalled an incident that jolted her This nightmarish incident was all all this Christianity?" he queried a into a stark realization of the true but forgotten until that afternoon faithful visitor. "Do you really force behind the drowning of her years later, when the mist believe all those things written in only son. surrounding her son's tragic death the Bible?" on Easter Sunday suddenly lifted, The apostle Paul writes, "God Two months prior to his death she and for the first time it became clear hath dealt to every man the measure had received an excited phone call that Satan—not God—had taken her of faith" (Romans 12:3), and this is from her sister-in-law. son from her. Knowing of the precisely what God gave to David's "I know a woman who tells family's weekend trips to the Cape, father that evening. And he received fortunes!" Eleanor exclaimed. "She's he had planned the drowning. Then it. The power of the Holy Spirit the best. Everyone says so. Come made it happen! slowly began His re-creative work in on, Marjorie," she insisted. "Let's go his life, and His presence was see her!" Explaining the influence of Satan in evident, for one day he said, "Tell Reluctantly she agreed. the affairs of man, Ellen White has me more about Christ." Together they located the often pointed out that "all the woe In the ensuing conversations fortune-teller in a rundown office that has resulted, he charges upon throughout the following weeks, he building in Boston. Eager to hear the Creator, leading men to look began to realize after twenty-two what the divinator would predict for upon God as the author of sin, and years that there was indeed a loving her future, Eleanor decided to be suffering, and death" (The Desire of God who was "abundant in first. Laughingly she emerged a Ages, p. 24). And because it is the goodness" and who cared for His short time later from a small office. natural inclination of humanity to children. "It's your turn now, Marjorie," blame God for our misfortunes and One day, late in the afternoon as she urged. "Go on in; she's waiting suffering, the prince of darkness is his visitor was leaving the hospital for you," and she gently shoved her quick to step in and use our human room, he called him back and softly, through the doorway of a sparsely frailty to his advantage through the yet somewhat hesitantly, asked, furnished, dimly lit room. aid of the psychics, fortune-tellers, "Will you pray for me?" Seated behind a wooden desk was and mediums. The bitterness was gone, and I am a sallow-faced, bespectacled woman, He is ensnaring multitudes sure all was forgiven. who in silence motioned Marjorie to through the lure of spiritualism and sit down in the chair opposite her. "its pretended power to draw aside Six days later the coast guard cutter With long slender fingers, she began the veil from the future and reveal to Shoal Water slowly moved out of to lovingly caress the crystal ball men what God has hidden. God has Miami harbor. Its destination: a directly in front of her. in His word opened before us the specific area beyond the three-mile After the fee changed hands, she great events of the future—all that it limit. On board lay a steel, lowered her head over the glistening is essential for us to know—and He lead-weighted casket bearing the orb and furrowed her eyebrows in has given us a safe guide for our feet body of my father, Lieutenant deep concentration. The stillness of amid all its perils; but it is Satan's Commander Gordon P. Hammond. the room was nearly overpowering, purpose to destroy men's confidence His last request was to be buried in and what were mere minutes in God, to make them dissatisfied the ocean he loved and had sailed seemed like hours to Marjorie. with their condition in life, and to for twenty-seven years. I carried out Suddenly without warning the lead them to seek a knowledge of his final wish and stayed with him woman jerked upright in her chair, what God has wisely veiled from until the sea, that once had been so her face twisted, and from her them" (Patriarchs and Prophets, pp. cruel to him, embraced him mouth came a low moan, which 686, 687). lovingly. gradually became louder and louder. Satan's goal is for the follower of There, on the ocean floor, he now "Oh, no!" she wailed mournfully. God to become so discouraged that rests peacefully, until in that great "It's horrible, so horrible. I see water he will blame God for all his day of the Lord the sea and earth . . . lots of water . . . and Easter troubles and eventually give up his will give up their dead, and my lilies." Her body became rigid. "I faith. father and brother will be reunited can't tell you any more. Leave me It happened to David's father. in a land where God will wipe away now," she shrieked. "Leave! Leave! Unable to overcome his grief, he all tears and where there will be no . . . Please!" secured an immediate transfer to more death, sorrow, crying, or pain. Visibly shaken and confused, Miami in an effort to eradicate the I long for that day.

20 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 JUNE STRONG

THIS YEAR I turned fifty. I have shed tears of despair and thought forty was the shaken my fists in frustration. dividing line between youth How come I can't control my and age, but now I know it is own actions? (Paul said it not. It's only a pleasant plain Fifty candles differently: "0 wretched man between the flower-filled that I am! who shall deliver meadows of thirty and the me from the body of this bouldered wilderness of fifty. death?") My hair is graying at the At last, I have given up. I edges (there's no time in my on my cake! have said to God, "I give to busy schedule for sitting You my power of decision, around at the hairdressers my motives, my ambitions, with purple goo trickling my appetite, my emotions, down my forehead, though I my desires. You run my life." envy the results). My neck has Ah, what rest! For thirty years wrinkles, and when I sit too I'd thought "dying to self" long my joints rebel at any meant struggling with one's sudden movement. sins, while all the time it only Once in a while someone I meant teaching "self" to stand went to school with dies. That back while God struggled with startles me a bit. the sins. A little plant called Yes, I feared my fiftieth faith has shot up out of this birthday settling over me like new experience, and I'm a threadbare old cape from nurturing it more tenderly which I struggled to be free. than any houseplant. It seems But a few months have to thrive on prayer and Bible passed, and surprisingly, I'm study. getting used to its scratchy Finally, I'm becoming able texture. to look at myself more I can still work hard, but objectively. I read a little book just not quite as long as I used which described the four to. Those fourteen-hour days types of human beings and are gone forever. To be found I fit perfectly into the honest, I never cared much for melancholic slot. It said some them anyhow. nice things about this type of I can't jog, as do some of person, and then it listed the my contemporaries, at least Sometimes at social than I am responsible for their less nice characteristics. not very far, but I can walk, gatherings I find myself successes. I have given them For instance, the briskly and endlessly, over hill working hard at being the all I have to give, and I love melancholic temperament is and dale. Always could. I no gracious lady—smiling and them. Out of the scraps of critical and hard to get along longer care that I've never chatting, holding things their childhoods they must with. Hard to get along with? hiked in the Himalayas or together. Lately I dare to build their own life-styles, Me? That's what the book seen Paris in the spring. I believe that it is not my duty separate and free of me. And I said. And the rest of the know there's more beauty in to solve everything, that I do must learn to be separate from description fit so well that I the five-mile square I circuit not always have to pick up the them—maybe the most could not in honesty cross off on foot or bicycle than I can dropped stitches of every difficult lesson of my life. this ugly indictment. It's very absorb in a lifetime. Enough situation. So I relax and am And just as I am learning to humbling to be labeled "hard beauty, in fact, in a stalk of still and listen. It is restful. be separate from my children, to get along with." I shall Queen Anne's lace to last me (Perhaps my friends will say a I am also learning that I cannot keep it in mind as I head into for many a mile. hearty amen to that!) It has be separate from God. For the last half of life. taken me fifty years to stop years I have struggled with Yes, you heard me right. June Strong, of hying to please everyone in sin—or, more specifically, I'm aiming for one hundred or Batavia, New every circumstance—one of with sins. I have known the return of Christ, York, is a lecturer the pluses of growing older. temporary progress, only to whichever comes first. And and author of the Age has also taught me I have the bitterness of failure with God at the helm, I'm books "Journal of cannot be responsible for my overtake me again and again. looking forward to every a Happy Wom- 6 an," "Mindy," children's mistakes any more I have tried, with little minute. and "Where Are success, to make myself ready We Running?" She enjoys people, for heaven. In the process I writing, gardening, and sewing. Illustration by Tim Adams

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 21 The Fatherhood of God How can the omnipotent God of the universe also be Father to earth's millions of inhabitants? by Gerald Wheeler

ETTY ATKINS scanned the scars of childhood always ache. Testament descriptions of God. The display of greeting cards, her Three people—three different Old Testament portrait of God they Bgaze pausing at the "Father" reactions—three different concepts find hard to reconcile with the New section. Smiling at the woods scene of a father. Testament image of Jesus. They have on one card, she opened it to read no fear of praying about their the verse inside. Memories of What is a father? What is he like? problems and troubles to Jesus. But long-lost summers tumbled through The disciples once asked Christ they are not sure of how the Father her mind like racing puppies. She what His Father was like. " 'Lord, would react to their prayers. Yet remembered her father taking her show us the Father, and we shall be Jesus taught His disciples to pray, and her sister on walks through the satisfied,' " Philip said (John 14:8*). "Our Father who art in heaven, nearby patches of woods that still Christ's followers, like so many hallowed be thy name" (Matthew defied the encroaching subdivisions. human beings, had a misconception 6:9). Betty's mother had fixed the two of the Father. Like Ron Samuels, girls little lunches, and their father many thought of Him as a cruel The Fatherhood of God was one of took them by the hand to find a tyrant. They viewed God as a being Christ's greatest themes. pleasant spot for a picnic. Now he of bloodshed and unbending justice. Throughout the Gospels we find took her children for walks among Sadly Christ replied, " 'Have I Him constantly stressing it. The the trees on their country property. been with you so long, and yet you Gospels mention God as Father George Matterly brushed past do not know me, Philip? He who twice as many times as the rest of Betty at the card rack. His glance has seen me has seen the Father; the New Testament. The Book of swept past the word father. He was how can you say, "Show us the John alone contains over one not interested in greeting cards for a Father"?' " (John 14:9). hundred references to the Father. father. He had never known one. The early Christian church But Christ did not introduce a His had deserted his family shortly continued to struggle for an new doctrine. God's role as Father of after George's birth. A father was understanding of the Father's His people also appears in the Old something other children had. The character. Marcion, a heretic of the Testament (see Deuteronomy 1:31; longing for one had died years ago, second century, reacted so strongly 8:5; 14:1; 2 Samuel 7:14; Psalms 2:7; and the word above the rack of cards against the way he felt the Old 103:13; Isaiah 1:2; Hosea 11:1; meant nothing to him now. Testament portrayed God that he Malachi 1:6; 3:17). God talked of His As Betty Atkins waited at the rejected what he called the inferior people in the language of the checkout, Ron Samuels fidgeted Creator-God. Discarding the parent-child relationship: of rearing behind her. He noticed the word writings of the Old Testament and and bringing them up, of Father on her card and much of the New, he set up his own disciplining them, and of pitying unconsciously grimaced. Father: the Bible. It consisted of the epistles of them. The Lord told David to cry to word held no happy connotations Paul and a gospel patterned after Him, " ' "Thou art my Father" ' " for him. Thoughts of fear and pain Luke. To counteract Marcion's (Psalm 89:26). and hatred and physical abuse heresy, the Christian church began Unfortunately, the Jews had nibbled at the edges of his memory. emphasizing the Fatherhood of God concentrated on the sterner side of He angrily thrust them away. The in its developing creeds. the father-child relationship and had Even today many Christians feel forgotten that a father is also loving Gerald Wheeler, associate book editor at Southern uncomfortable with the Father. They and protecting. They had let their Publishing Association, Nashville, Tennessee, is mentally contrast the Gospel picture experience with imperfect, author of "The Two-Taled Dinosaur," "Is God a of a loving, kind Jesus with the Old sometimes cruel and thoughtless, Committee?" "God's Catalogue of Gifts," "Who Put the Worm in the Apple?" and "Deluge." © human fathers color their image of 1979 by Gerald Wheeler. •All Bible quotations are from the Revised Standard Version. the heavenly Father. Christ had to

22 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 show the Father as One who child to a loving parent. In Mark 8:42). God was not the Pharisees' tenderly cares for His newborn 14:36 He addressed God as "Abba, Father because they had not infant or toddler. He demonstrated Father." Abba is a transliteration of experienced spiritual rebirth and affection toward children (Mark an Aramaic word used in intimate thus refused to accept Christ as their 10:13-16). address, perhaps similar to the Elder Brother. Christ presented the Father as a modern English "Daddy." It was not By believing in Christ we become God of love. "For God so loved the flippant, but revealed great love and children of God. "But to all who world that he gave his only Son, that trust between the Father and the received him [Jesus], who believed whoever believes in him should not Son. Paul employed the word in in his name, he gave power to perish but have eternal life" (John Romans 8:15 and Galatians 4:6 to become children of God" (John 3:16). Jesus' whole life exemplified depict the intimate relationship of 1:12). God adopts us and we receive love, and all that He did fulfilled His the Father and the Christian through the Holy Spirit. "When we cry, Father's loving will (John 5:30). Christ. 'Abba! Father!' it is the Spirit That is, whatever Christ did, Christ held up His relationship himself bearing witness with our the Father would have done with His Father as the example of spirit that we are children of God, had He physically been there the kind His followers should have and if children, then heirs, heirs of on earth. with the Father and with each other. God and fellow heirs with Christ" He prayed "that they may be one, (Romans 8:15-17). Such adoption is God is approachable. Jesus also even as we are one" (John 17:11) and possible because Christ redeemed us reminded man that he could "that the world may know that thou (Galatians 4:5-7). confidently approach the Father. hast sent me and hast loved them Those who have become sons of God the Father was not stern, even as thou hast loved me" (verse God will reflect the Father's likeness impatient, with His children, ready 23). The human father plays with his just as a human child exhibits to find fault with them at the children, participates in their character traits of the parent slightest opportunity. Rather, He activities. God the Father wants to (Matthew 5:16; Romans 8:29; 1 John was always accessible. In the Lord's be just as immersed in our lives. 3:2). As the world had the Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) Jesus taught opportunity to see the Father us to come to the Father with our A Father in two ways. God is our through the Son (John 14:9), so it needs and requests. Our heavenly Father in one sense because He should observe both reflected in the Father anxiously awaits and listens created us. Hence He is the Father Christian's life. for our petitions. even of those who reject Him Humanity has either not known A human father feels great joy (Matthew 5:45). Sin caused a change the divine Father as George Matterly when his children happily come to in man. We rebelled against our never knew his human one, or it has him to meet some need. The divine divine Father and chose another, formed a distorted conception such Father also wishes to bestow good Satan (John 8:44). We need to be as Ron Samuels had of his parent. things upon us (Matthew 7:11; John reborn into the family of God. Thus But to the Christian the word father 16:23). Unlike some human parents, God is our Father also through can evoke the same kind of response God is not distant and unconcerned re-creation—through the process of of love that Betty Atkins had toward about us. He seeks to be close to spiritual rebirth. As Christ said, her father. Her father took her on each of His children. Our " 'Truly, truly, I say to you, unless little picnics in the woods near her relationship with Him should be as one is born anew, he cannot see the childhood home. Our heavenly intimate—even more so—than that kingdom of God' " (John 3:3). To Father will one day invite us to sit between a human father and child. some who had not been born anew, down with Him at a banquet in The Saviour stressed the fact that He stated, " 'If God were your heaven with God's children of all we should relate to the Father as a Father, you would love me' " (John times (Matthew 8:11). Jo

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 23

How to teach moral values to children under three

The two keys to teaching Christian values to young reflects the same values and attitudes of the parent or care-giver. children are proper parental examples and the If their lives are disjointed and in development of decision-making skills. turmoil, their parenting practices will likewise be haphazard. The by James R. Becraft results, of course, will be mirrored to a great extent in the child.

ALL 1-IEM JOEY. He's blond. Every parent must ask, "How can Prenatal influences. Dr. Kuzma, the A bit short. Muscular, my children best be given a head mother of three, earned her C athletic—very handsome. start in character development? How doctorate in early childhood He's two-and-a-half-years old. Joey's can they be taught 'values' before education at UCLA. She said that a an adorable child. At least his age three—or five? What methods mother literally influences her baby parents think so. Besides, he's well for teaching them are best? And in the womb in all aspects of behaved—their opinion. who can say which values are development: thus, a mother's care What makes such a child 'best'?" for her baby should begin before it lovable—and well behaved? Hard questions, with no clear is born—even before pregnancy. It's obvious. "Us," say his answers. Though self-proclaimed Studies have shown that a mother parents. "We gave him his genes. authorities on child-rearing abound, who smokes while pregnant We provide the training. He's ours, there are no real experts on teaching increases the baby's chances for low and we've got a good program of children proper values. Raising birth weight and associated child training going." children is a puzzle to everyone but problems. Other studies increasingly A big challenge, however, they those who don't have any. demonstrate the deleterious effects realize, is to keep that program But even though child-rearing is a of alcohol consumption by the going. puzzle of great complexity, mother upon the child in the womb. But whether they realize it or not, responsible parents do pick up bits In short, if the mother smokes, to a great extent they have already of information and guidance from imbibes alcohol, and is in a state of taught and bequeathed to him the others, who, like themselves, are emotional upheaval during values and attitudes that will coping—or have coped—with the pregnancy, this may not only benefit—or plague—him his entire challenges of the crib, cradle, and influence fetal development but also life. toddlers. Without doubt, babies can no doubt contribute to the Powerful words. Powerful truths, have a tendency to grow up. Parents infant's mental frame of mind and a according to experts in child have to transmit something to their sense of insecurity. development, who increasingly progeny, and responsible parents stress the importance of prenatal, plan what values, attitudes, and A need for love. Of profound neonatal, and infant stages of child choices they desire for their importance for the emotional development as crucial not only to children's moral development. development of the child is the the child's physical development but Kay Kuzma, a professor of child establishment of a warm, loving also to his or her overall pattern of development at Loma Linda relationship between mother and values, attitudes, and methods for University and an author of books child. Studies have shown that coping with the problems the world on child development, says, "You're physical and visual contact between will bring later on. like your child will become." mother and child at the time of birth Without doubt, this area of Although not absolutely true, the are basic needs for optimal "value" and "attitude" development aphorism contains more than a development; thus, "bonding" must in these early stages of human kernel of truth. take place if mother and baby are to growth is an open area for research; At this stage in life the child is grow together in love and its importance to society, almost totally dependent on the appreciation of each other—basic "unquestioned." parent and surrounding adults. He human values. or she is immersed in the According to Dr. Kuzma, the baby James Becraft, a writer-photographer specializing in health care and anthropology, or cultural environment, the life-style, of the must be loved "unconditionally." studies, lives in Loma Linda, California. v 1979 parent and other adults who feed The infant needs security and by James R. Becraft. and nurture it. As such, the infant confidence in the family and

Photograph by Tim Menees THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 25 By consistently putting into your own life the qualities you want your child to have, you go a long way to seeing him or her attain these qualities.

decision-making skills in the "It's a very slow process with the rough-and-tumble of life. tiny tots, but oh, so important! Even two-year-olds can learn good Making their own decisions. Laying decision-making skills. One mother the foundations for effective came to our preschool, saying to her decision-making is not easy for the daughter, 'Share!' Then she grabbed child—or parents. her toy and gave it to another girl. "You have to give them The child was only two. Sharing, we information in a way they can find, is not in their vocabulary at understand, so that they can weigh this age. What we do here is to have the options, and then let them gain two phones, two buggies, etc. We experience in making the decisions. say, 'Here are two, why don't you You have to make sure the choice is give one to Johnny?' This way we appropriate to their developmental encourage decision-making—and Dr. Kay Kuzma is professor of child de- level; then you have to hold back values development." velopment at Loma Linda University in and let them live with the Mrs. Beach went on to tell about a California. She is the mother of three chil- consequences of that decision." mother who complained, "My girl is dren and the author of several books on She laughed and told a story so selfish. She always grabs such child development. about her daughter: "We were in an things as dolls from the other girls." Orange Julius, a refreshment shop. But that same day the wee girl was environment; if not loved My daughter wanted a strawberry observed doling out a Kleenex to a unconditionally, his growth is drink, not an orange. I said, 'OK! tear-smitten friend. "short-circuited" emotionally. The But drink all of it. If you don't, next "What we try to do at our baby soon discovers parents can't be time I'll have to choose for you.' She preschool," Mrs. Beach said, "is to trusted. didn't drink all of that strawberry help parents build on their Babies need to be picked up, concoction, so next time I said, children's positive traits. They can cuddled, and rocked to sleep in a 'Sorry! I'm choosing for you.' " stress these at home." loving manner. If a baby is messy, The consequences of decisions can hungry, and cranky, and is taste great, or they can taste awful. Teaching values to children. The unlovingly tossed into bed, he gets a Realizing that is part of learning and main things parents can do, in her message: "I'm not loved." developing values—even for a opinion, to help children develop Ultimately he absorbs such attitudes two-year-old. good values before age three center and hostilities. Marilyn Beach, MA, director of on emphasizing "decision-making" Dr. Kuzma sees character-building the preschool at Loma Linda and "example." as the "end process of University's College of Arts and "By consistently putting into your decision-making." This Sciences, agreed with Dr. Kuzma on own life the qualities you want your decision-making begins before a the importance of teaching the child to have, you go a long way to baby is born as the mother makes young child to make decisions as seeing him or her attain those proxy decisions for the person to part of learning values early in life. qualities. Children learn social and come. She continues to make moral patterns from their models decisions for the child in the first of all. Make your modeling neonatal period. Soon the father and good." other adults become involved in this "A child before age three decision-making process. Gradually determines what is right or wrong the child begins making the by the big person or the important decisions. Only as children learn to persons in his life, who say, in effect, make their own decisions soundly 'This is right. . . . This is wrong. can they develop their own healthy . . .' They take what is said as values and attitudes. irrefutable fact. James Fowler, of Growth in decision-making skills Emory University, has worked with is like learning to speak, but it takes the very young child. One question longer. As a baby can be given he asks them is, 'How do you know opportunity to make decisions in the when you have done something playpen, so the child can be given bad?' The child says, 'Because my privileges in the backyard to exercise Marilyn Beach, MA, is director of pre- daddy says so.' Then he queries, growing decision-making skills; school at the Loma Linda University Col- 'How does your daddy know?' The later, after a long process of growth, lege of Arts and Sciences. classic answer: 'Because someone the adult must exercise bigger than him tells him.' So it's 26 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photography by James R Becraft always the important or the big, very simple, but nevertheless the should do several things to help either physically big, or physically talking time gives meaning to the provide the toddler—older children, important, or importantly big. These child's experiences." too—with a family environment were three- and four-year-old Dr. Hopp elaborated on the welter conducive to values formation: children." of informational experiences 1. Experiences: "Include the "Mainly the little ones can be children have today in a society family, not just vicarious taught by example and doing. where TV makes the world a global experiences, but spend time with Children don't learn very much by village, where vicarious experiences them in planned activities in which being told but by watching someone of any variety almost can impinge they will learn to reason and make else and then doing it themselves. on a child's senses and affect him for decisions." Sometimes you walk them through life. 2. Discussions: "Take time for the activity. For instance, actually talk. Even a few minutes with them moving their hands to teach them to Parents concerned about the value while tucking them in at night is brush their teeth. You don't tell development of even the good." them how at this age. You move the under-two-year-old children need to 3. Exercise of choice: "Start them toothbrush up and down. You hold channel the tube carefully and out early making decisions. Now their hands and make the motions provide them with more doing, that doesn't mean giving them free yourself." learning, touching, smelling, choice in everything, but give them Joyce W. Hopp, PhD, who teaches experiences, rather than the passive the opportunity to choose between, in the department of health TV variety. for instance, healthy foods—not education at Loma Linda between milk shakes and banana University's School of Health, is a splits." specialist in "values clarification" 4. Freedom: "They need to learn methods as they relate to health right from the beginning that when science teaching. She is author of they make a certain choice, they've textbooks for children and a mother got to live with the consequences." of two teenagers. She sees values as 5. Evaluation: "Without learning "principles that guide your life." this skill, no progress, no real According to her, children learning takes place." develop values early, but "even though nine or ten years old, these Don't forget God. Values can reach values by and large reflect parental their highest expression not only in values. They're not their own until day-to-day relations with man but freely chosen for themselves. In in one's relationship to God, order to be of value they must be believes Bailey Gillespie, PhD, a made by personal choice, not by professor of religious education at coercion. But that doesn't mean that Joyce W. Hopp, PhD, teaches in the de- Loma Linda University's College of children don't have values. Those partment of health education at Loma Arts and Sciences. It's true not only they have are largely reflections of Linda University School of Health. with adults but with small children. parental values during these years. But, he, as with others interviewed, "Parents create the environment sees the child's behavior as largely in which the child develops values "Parents are spending less time the reflection of the values and through experiences provided. They with their children, not listening, attitudes of the adult. At every stage can best promote the child's not helping them process the masses of development a child's ability to development of values by providing of information bombarding them. If communicate, to comprehend, him with a variety of experiences we're going to have such masses of should be carefully evaluated by while at the same time giving him information hitting us, we've got to parents. Above all, parents should opportunity to discuss the meaning provide more family time in which be sensitive and should talk with the of those experiences in an the data are discussed and processed little ones regarding the "simple, atmosphere of inquiry and dialogue so that children can have a basic themes: love, the family, with themselves. There needs to be framework into which they can fit sharing, prayer, and trust in God." family time for discussion. It doesn't their experiences, and the Every one of these themes is need to be a long time, but both experiences can be meaningful. comprehensible to a child—even parents should be available as much Otherwise all they will get will under age three. They're expressed as possible, paying attention when be a big gob of incomprehensible in behavior and trust in both the child wants to talk. Even two- or data with an inadequate parents and in God Himself. three-year-olds can take part. With values-framework." And who said, "Except ye . . . the younger ones, concepts must be In her estimation, every parent become as little children . . ."?

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 27 EDITORIALS

SCIENTIFIC credibility suffered each other over the potential a crippling blow last March 28 dangers of genetic with the Three Mile Island engineering, warning that nuclear-reactor accident, the creating new life-forms (from worst nuclear energy crisis in Lessons from existing life-forms) in the United States history. laboratory could endanger the For years engineers had delicate balance of life on assured us that the odds of a earth or could release a new serious accident at a modern Three Mile Andromeda strain of bacteria nuclear-power plant are that could destroy mankind. infinitesimal. Then, suddenly, They have also fought over Americans woke up one the effects of supersonic jets morning to face the fact that it Island and aerosols on atmospheric can happen here, and it ozone. They have labeled as did—at Harrisburg, cancer-causative everything Pennsylvania. from saccharin to flame Repercussions from the retardants in children's Pennsylvania accident rippled pajamas. around the globe, bringing They haven't even agreed investigators from Japan, on whether large doses of West Germany, and France. vitamin C can help prevent a They wanted to know how cold or assist someone with a the highly sophisticated cold to a quicker recovery. machinery of a modern It reminds me of what one nuclear reactor and its sometimes faces when he elaborate backup-safety visits doctors to obtain two system could fail so utterly. medical opinions. One They also wanted to know surgeon may tell him that he how to prevent a similar needs surgery. The other may accident from occurring in confess that it's dangerous, their own fifty reactors. and besides, it won't do much Other experts from all over good. America converged on the These and many similar scene to study the problem conflicts between the experts, and offer solutions. They the people with the final quickly recognized two authority, should flash a terrifying possibilities. The caution light before everyone runaway radioactive core who has been conditioned to could "melt down" and drop accept the word of a scientist into the water coolant at the as truth—no matter what. base of its chamber. This And if what I have said would create an instantaneous applies to the seen—nuclear steam explosion that could reactors, aerosol spray, rupture the four-foot-thick supersonic jets, saccharin, concrete walls of the building flame retardants, and and release a lethal radioactive surgery—think of its cloud into the atmosphere. Or implications regarding the the molten core could bum unseen—like evolution, for through the concrete floor and engineers quibbled on greatest risk of creating a example. pass deep into the earth (as national television and before nuclear catastrophe. If they can't agree on the presented in the movie The the press on how to regain Baffled by the conflicting issues of today's life, I'm China Syndrome). But none control of the runaway opinions of the nation's certainly not going to trust agreed on either the outcome reactor, on how to release the leading experts, laymen could them to explain the greater or the solution. tremendous pressure built up only ask wonderingly, issue of how life began. If In fact, for days following by the highly volatile bubble "Which scientist can we scientific pronouncements the event confusion and fear of hydrogen gas in the top of believe?" cannot be faithfully trusted continued to spew from the the reactor's core, and on This same question has regarding the known, why damaged reactor (along with whether taking action to been raised on several other should we trust them large quantities of radioactive release the pressure or failing occasions the past few years. regarding the steam and gas). Nuclear to take action offered the Scientists have battled with unknown?—R.B.

28 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photograph by Wide World LETTERS

CONGRATULATIONS on this doesn't know what many of superb special on prophecy. It us unfortunate is arranged, edited, and "un-volunteers" of the occult illustrated in a way not only to know. capture the attention and Praises for I too was once skeptical of interest but also to drive home the occult the way she is. In the great truths presented. fact, I went to a lecture (at a Best of all, its interpretive respectable college, no less) on positions are in line with the the Daniel and "Ghosts and Haunted best Seventh-day Adventist Houses." Why? Just for the scholarship.—Robert M. ridiculousness and a night of Eldridge, New Johnsonville, laughs. But as a result of my Tennessee. Revelation issue comments, I was the only one out of forty who gave They say that "one picture "testimonies" at the meeting is worth a thousand words." who was asked to see the Well, when I glanced through lecturers afterward. To make a your special issue of THESE long letter short, from that TIMES on the amazing I recently saw a copy of years and enjoy it, but did not moment on, I became another prophecies of Daniel and THESE TIMES—your special subscribe. If it is a gift, would victim of the occult. Revelation, I was sure of this issue on Daniel and you please send us the name Mrs. Maxon, I learned that statement! Revelation. It was great! It and address of the giver so we my skepticism was one of the Seeing the written word in really had super visuals and a can send a note of thanks? We biggest mistakes I've ever black and white can become tremendous layout. I'd like would appreciate it very made, and I learned the hard boring after a bit, but when very much to obtain a copy of much.—Maria Norris, way. You see, I had already the words come to life and that issue. Please tell me the Hinesville, Georgia. opened myself to Satan just you can see what you are price for one copy of that by being skeptical! I had no reading about, it is a bit hard issue.—Tommy Thomason, An astonishing magazine defenses, because I didn't to put the booklet down. The Mesquite, Texas. Your March issue of THESE believe there was a war! pictures of the animals TIMES came and has been read People kept saying it was a described and the actual Single copies are available at with the greatest relish. All "gift" from God—but no one antique articles used by those US$1.00 each, plus 5c a copy the articles spoke to me, but told me what the Bible said, people of old make for for postage (Canadian and particularly "Welcome Home, not even my non-Adventist fascinating study.—Shirley foreign postage higher). You Mother!"—I suppose because minister. But I have never Tegyi, Pennsylvania. may order them from "The that is something we may be known such pure terror as Amazing Prophecies of Daniel facing soon. We had already those few years I spent Something left out? and Revelation," P.O. Box decided that if the Lord gives wrapped up in the occult. I received your last 22365, Nashville, TN us the strength and means, And pure terror is not a gift publication on Daniel and 37202.—Editors. our parents will not go to from God. Revelation and am wondering nursing homes, so others' THESE TIMES didn't insult what happened to chapters 4 experiences are encouraging. me, Mrs. Maxon. It was THESE and 5 of Revelation. I would Thanks for printing it. TIMES that saw me through my like your explanation of those Actually the magazine terror. And it was two two chapters.—Buford continues to astonish me with Seventh-day Adventist Stockard, Graham, Texas. its good looks and ministers, Pastor Dick Tibbits inspirational material.—Mrs. and Pastor Bill Warcholik, As we explained in the Joe D. Griffin, Portland, whom God sent to tell me introduction of that issue, due to Tennessee. what His Word really said space limitations we could not about the occult. Today I cover every passage of Scripture Bristling with anger praise God that I am at last in the two books and fit it into I am bristling—BRISTLING! free from bondage.—Leila an eighty-four-page magazine. At first I saw red when I read Haddad, Willimantic, Hence we selected the major Mrs. Maxon's letter (March, Connecticut. prophecies of those books, five 1979) spitefully poking fun at the THESE TIMES article "My from Daniel and eleven from Address all correspondence for this Revelation, for use in that Journey Into the Occult" column to Letters to the Editor, special issue. We're sorry if we (September, 1978). But then THESE TIMES, Box 59, Nashville, skipped something of special We appreciate the gift my anger turned into pity and TN 37202. Items selected for publi- interest to some of our We have been receiving concern for the letter writer cation may be edited for clarity and length. readers.—Editors. your magazine for over two because, obviously, she

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 29 Three quiet acts of kindness brought peace and happiness into our lives at a time when we needed them most. by G. Roger Schoenhals BOUQUET OF PANSIES greeted us when we returned from A the store. There was no note, and we had no idea where they had come from. We had moved in only two days before. The town and 99.9 percent of

Illustration by Tim Adams the people were new to us. hold a weekend missionary blessing but because that's just the Someone, knowing how we must convention. The church placed us in kind of people they are. They have felt, slipped in and left a different homes for lodging and remind me of those people Jesus told friendly bouquet. meals. Two of us stayed with the about who were surprised at the We mentioned it later to some pastor. judgment when reminded of the friends, and they said, "Oh, that Following the Saturday evening many kind deeds they had done in was an elderly woman at church, a service my friend and I drove with this life (Matthew 25:31-40). retired missionary. She's always the pastor and his wife to their When's the last time you did a doing things like that." home. Rain pelted the car as we little quiet deed of kindness? Here drove. Running from the car to the are some ideas: It happened many years ago, but house, I muddied my shoes. Not 1. Send a note of appreciation to the fragrance of the deed remains wanting to soil their carpet, I took the church organist or to the head fresh in our memories. my shoes off at the door and carried usher. A similar memory dates back to them into our room. They would dry 2. The man who mows our lawn the time we lived in a cottage on the during the night, and I could clean brought a gift for each of our eastern slopes of the Washington them up the next morning. children one day. No reason, just a Cascades. Money was scarce, and I awoke to the smell of frying eggs simple act of kindness. Is there a our home was quite rustic. A wood and jumped out of bed, hoping to child in your neighborhood or at stove was the only source of heat. take a quick shower before church whom you could surprise With winter coming on, I had breakfast. After we ate I planned to with a toy? managed to acquire a truckload of shine the shoes and make them 3. Flowers are always welcome. wood. It lay in a large pile near the ready for the day's activities. As I How about an elderly person or back porch. My wife's folks were dressed I glanced over to see the someone who is ill? coming from Michigan for a visit, mud-caked shoes. They were gone! 4. I looked out the window one and we wanted to have the place I looked under the bed and in the day after a snowstorm and saw my looking good. However, with me in closet. I accused my roommate, but neighbor shoveling my driveway. school and my wife working in he pleaded innocence. He seemed as I'm healthy. I could have done it. town, we found no time to stack the surprised as I was. But he had finished his, and he just wood and do several other clean-up I finished dressing and started out wanted to help me out. Is there a jobs around the yard. The day they the door to report the missing shoes. chore you could do for someone? were due we hurried home, And then I found them—sitting 5. Usually we think of the women thinking we could get a few chores neatly outside my door looking as when it comes to making cookies or done before they arrived. shiny as the day I bought them. pies. On several occasions a single Imagine our surprise when we I finally got the pastor's wife to tell male friend of ours has supplied us drove into the driveway and noticed me what happened. During the with baked desserts. And they were the wood stacked neatly beside the night, while we slept, her husband good! Everyone likes treats from the house. And the yard was tidy. had crept into our room and had oven, so why not show a little Our neighbor from down the taken the shoes to clean and polish. kindness by giving someone the road, a busy woman with four "But why?" I asked. "He's got fruit of your culinary skills? children, had come over during the enough on his mind, and I know 6. Offer to baby-sit, to take day to do the whole job. She left no he's tired." someone's children for a special big sign telling us whom to thank, "Well," she said, "that's just the outing. nor did she run over to brag of her kind of man he is." 7. Read a good book lately? Why deed. We simply knew it was she not give a few copies to persons because that's the kind of person she Acts of kindness. Posies, a who might also enjoy the book? is. Later, when we backed her into a woodpile, and shiny shoes. Three Really, the possibilities for corner, she confessed. quiet acts of kindness. They remain showing acts of kindness are vivid in my mind. Pleasant endless. All it takes is a little When I was in seminary a group of memories. And I recall the lift I creativity and the desire to share us went to a town in Missouri to received when each discovery was God's love with others. made. They made me feel Why not do some thinking and important, valuable. They blessed praying about it right now? Decide Roger Schoenhals is editorial director, Light and me. on a plan of action and make Life Press, Winona Lake, Indiana. He has had three hundred articles published in over forty I'm sure the deeds also brought whatever preparations that are periodicals. 1977 by Light and Life Press. joy to the hearts of the doers. Not necessary. And then, in the name of Adapted and used by permission. that they did those things to gain a Jesus, do it—quietly.

THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 31 FRANK ANSWERS

I have always been taught the everyday routine of life? If that the Bible never a Christian accidentally breaks contradicts itself. Can you a neighbor's window, he explain what I think is a would apologize and replace contradiction? Matthew 27:5 it. An employer would says that Judas "hanged Contradictions naturally expect a certain himself." But Acts 1:18 says amount of wear and tear on that as he was running he his trucks. But if a Christian fell and "burst asunder in the driver accidentally locked up midst, and all his bowels in the Bible? the air brakes and tore up the gushed out" In other words, tires, it would certainly be the he didn't hang himself. Christian thing to explain to the superintendent what had The four Gospels and Acts happened. If one knew he give us brief eyewitness had cheated in the past, it accounts of the acts and picture: Judas in his anguish thyself" (Matthew 22:37-39). would be the Christian thing sayings of Jesus and the of mind left the scene of The latter command therefore to confess to the teacher apostles. Like many Christ's trial and hanged involves the Golden Rule also: involved. If such a person eyewitness reports they are himself. Peter completes the "Therefore all things could not be reached or the brief, and consequently account by implying that the whatsoever ye would that name was forgotten, then the incomplete. To us who live weight of his body broke the men should do to you, do ye offender could only confess to many centuries later the rope or sash that he had tied even so to them: for this is the God and leave it at that. accounts may appear at first to around his neck and that his law and the prophets" Confession is not merely be contradictory, when in body broke open when it (Matthew 7:12). some attempt to balance reality they supplement or struck the ground. Perhaps With such love implanted accounts. It has to do with complement each other like Judas purposely jumped from in the heart by God's Spirit, spiritual health and genuine pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. a branch of the tree to which the penitent is naturally conversion. God changes the One can argue that these he had tied his rope in order drawn to confess his sins to attitudes of the mind through two reports are contradictory, to give more force to his body God (1 John 1:9). Likewise he His grace; He implants His but this is not a necessary weight, and he may have is led to confess to his love in the heart. The result is conclusion. Most Bible fallen upon jagged rocks or neighbor his faults or wrongs that the Christian views God students see Peter's statement stones. that have hurt him (James and his neighbor in an as supplementary to 5:16), a confession that may entirely different light. He Matthew's account. In the first Please give me some involve restitution—to the loves them, and love always place Peter does not say that clarification on the matter of extent he is able to do so seeks to heal and to restore Judas fell "as he was confession and restoration. (Ezekiel 33:16). Jesus taught: broken relationships. Through running." This is a mental To what extent do these "If thou bring thy gift to the the processes of confession picture you have relate to such things as altar, and there rememberest and restoration, God leads His inadvertently injected into cheating in school or that thy brother hath ought children to remove the guilt Peter's account. Generally, the damage to an employer's against thee [because you and remorse and anxieties we Greek expression in Acts 1:18 truck? Oversensitiveness on have in some manner tend to bury in our is translated, "and falling this could be quite a drag, wronged him]; leave there thy subconscious, only to have headlong, he burst asunder" couldn't it? gift before the altar, and go them trouble us later. (cf RSV, NASB, NEB, TEV). thy way; first be reconciled to Cleansing comes not only The two accounts easily The matter is not as difficult thy brother, and then come through forgiveness but also harmonize to give us this as it may seem if as Christians and offer thy gift" (Matthew through confession. we choose to view matters as 5:23, 24). In other words, the Apologizing, confessing, and God does. The substance of Christian seeks as far as he is restoring to what degree one In this column Pastor Frank B. the Christian religion—as far able to make all things right can may be humiliating to the Holbrook answers as ethical behavior is between himself and God and pride, but it makes stronger, questions about concerned—is summarized by between himself and his sturdier, more compassionate spiritual truth, Jesus into a twofold principle: fellow human beings. And he and understanding ethical behavior, supreme love toward God and seeks by the grace of God to Christians. and Biblical understanding. impartial love toward our maintain this position. "He The apostle Paul's example Write to him clo THESE TIMES, fellowmen. "Thou shalt love that covereth his sins shall not on this question is a safe one Box 59, Nashville, Tennessee the Lord thy God with all thy prosper: but whoso confesseth to follow: "Herein do I 37202. Names are confidential. If a heart. . . . This is the first and and forsaketh them shall have exercise myself, to have personal answer is desired, please mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). send an addressed envelope. Only great commandment. And the always a conscience void of questions of general interest are second is like unto it, Thou How, then, should a offence toward God, and published. shalt love thy neighbour as Christian face these matters in toward men" (Acts 24:16).

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Photography courtesy of Marye Trim THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 33 GODS LOVE is in His creation limit of His ability. This, to Him, Wonderful are the miracles and mysteries of the natural does not attain desirability. God has world. Even more wonderful is the presence of love in something else that makes the physical creation incomparably the handiwork of God. by Sanford T. Whitman better. That something is love. Wonderful are the miracles and HE Lord loveth the gates of we learn that the heavenly Jerusalem mysteries of the natural world. Even Zion more than all the is also called New Jerusalem, that more wonderful is the presence of T dwellings of Jacob" (Psalm among other things this city love in the handiwork of God—the 87:2). contains the throne of God, the tree splendor of sunrise, the cresting of a These words are special. As used and river of life (Revelation 21:2; wave, the whisperings of the wind, here, gates suggest a city, and that 22:1-3). mother love in the wild. These are city is named Zion, the gates of The purpose of our text is to parameter blessings. Zion. emphasize the preeminence of the What are the treasures of Zion's To have meaning, gates must be spiritual over the material in the heartland? The ability and hinged to walls. Walls are clearly mind of God. To compare Deity willingness to forgive. To suffer long implied in the following passage: with humanity, however, would be and be kind. To endure all things. "Walk about Zion, and go round out of character, in bad taste, less To love justice. To be merciful when about her: tell the towers thereof. than convincing. Like comparing mercy is not deserved. To be always Mark ye well her bulwarks" (Psalm infinity with zero. gracious. Even to die for an enemy. 48:12, 13). Basically the comparison is Unless love is resident and The word Zion has strong spiritual between the earthly riches of Israel operational in the lives of men, connotations. The Bible speaks of and the spiritual glory of God's unless it is integrated into every Zion, but not for political reasons. It character and kingdom. But for moment of time, every atom in is not mentioned because of its added power and beauty, the direct space, the gigantic forces and powerful financial district or comparison is between "the myriad forms of nature become a glittering social life. It is not a vast dwellings of Jacob" and the "gates of monstrous and headlong vehicle of military or industrial complex. Zion Zion"—both temporal values. fear, suffering, and death. With is a spiritual as well as a literal city, Compared to the wealth of a great good reason God appraises even the and it is the one as much as it is the nation, the gates of a city are less gates of Zion as more valuable than other. Not two cities near together. than peanuts. By choosing the any possible accumulation of Two cities in one and the same peanuts, God indicates His material treasure. package. A literal city with a overwhelming preference for the It is love that makes life so spiritual treasure. spiritual. I would rather have the precious. It is love that makes of Among other things we learn that gates of My city Zion, He says, than earth an Eden. It is love that makes Zion is "the city of God," that it is all the material abundance of Israel. earth and sun and galaxy so "the joy of the whole earth" (Psalm Why? Because these gates are near to compelling both as a homeland and 48:1, 2). It is the place where God My treasure, guard My treasure, are a way of life. It is love that kindled a dwells (Joel 3:21). God's temple is in associated with My treasure. For this star of hope in earth's awful night of Zion (Joel 2:15-17). The knowledge reason they are more to Me than the sin. It is love, in absolute control of of God's law (love) will go forth from glory and wealth of empire. the will, that swings wide the gate Zion (Isaiah 2:3). Why is God so opinionated about to man's ultimate attainment and In the New Testament we find this? Particularly, why is love so maximum fulfillment. It is love and that the redeemed of earth will one important in the cosmos? We find it love alone that makes all things, day come to Mount Zion, the all made plain in Psalm 87:7: "All my animate and inanimate, worthy of heavenly Jerusalem (Hebrews 12:22). springs are in thee." eternity. In the closing chapters of the Bible Springs, we are told, may also be "There are three things that last translated "sources of satisfaction." for ever: faith, hope, and love: but As far as substance, shape, and the greatest of them all is love" (1 Sanford Whitman lives in the Tualatin Valley south operation are concerned, God can Corinthians 13:13, NEB*). of Hillsboro, Oregon. He counts writing as his speak a universe into existence. He hobby. His philosophy: God has given you a corner can make all things excellent visually 'From The New English Bible. Copyright, The Delegates of and a candle. Tend both faithfully. a 1979 by the Oxford University Press and The Syndics of the Cambridge Sanford T. Whitman. and mechanically. But this is not the University Press, 1961, 1970. Reprinted by permission. 34 THESE TIMES/August 1, 1979 Photograph by Richard Young

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