CEU eTD Collection Bride-Kidnapping in Kazakhstan in Discourses of inDiscourses inKazakhstan Bride-Kidnapping In partial fulfilment for the degree of Master of Arts inGender Law and Custom, Nationalism and Tradition, Supervisor: ProfessorSupervisor: ElissaHelms Department of Gender Studies Central European University Kinship and Gender Kinship and Budapest, Hungary Budapest, Sevara Azizova Sevara Submitted to Submitted Studies 2009 By CEU eTD Collection protection in lawprotection within and of state discourse the bride-kidnapping. and seek support to unwillingness people’s alsodemonstrates It infectiveness. its reveals further through examining and of state the in lawinvolvement issues the bride-kidnappingof and extends analysis The bride-kidnapping. of practice marital the of reinforcement inthe system within of the theoretical frameworks relationskinship kinship reveals of role the patrilineal with bride-kidnapped families. women and interviewees’ analysis The their experiences of analysis researchisbased The on the interviews Kazakhstan. the of in practice contemporary thatsustain the factors of the tounderstanding contributes research of outcome the The one. independent the to state pre-socialist the from history throughout evolved practice the how traces Abstract The present thesis examines the marital practice of bride-kidnapping in Kazakhstan. It in Kazakhstan. bride-kidnapping of practice marital the examines thesis The present i CEU eTD Collection My myspecial to gratitude special person year and his friendship friend My encouragement My mother, My love andto: gratitude my of in improvement and assisted research realization criticism that My special gratitude to my to My special gratitude supervisor allmy contributed I expressmy to to who gratitude people project. Acknowledgements Kai Gulchekhra for his constant emotional and intellectual support during intellectual academic histhe for support whole emotional constant and , andfather, Husan Elissa Helms for theirlove help, andsupport Miroslav ii forand herdeepinvolvement constructive for his understanding, care,supportand CEU eTD Collection Reference List Reference Conclusion Power Chapter 5-Thepositionof Bride-kidnapping withintheFramework of Politics andState Chapter 4-Roles of RelationsKinship inArranging Marriages Chapter 3 -Bride-kidnapping: aNew Start or Continuity of Subjugation? Chapter 2 –Methodology Chapter 1- Introduction Table of Contents rd-inpig...... 55 Bride-kidnapping 5.2 The Role of the State Policies and their Effectiveness in the Discourse of Contemporary 5.1 The Frequency of Bride-kidnapping in Contemporary Kazakh Society...... 53 4.2 The “High status” of Elderly Women within the Rules of Patrilineal ...... 40 Descent 4.1 Children/ Parents Relationships before and after Marriage...... 33 3.2 The Vision of Ideal Marriage or Attitudes towards the Act of Bride-kidnapping...... 26 Brings into their Lives...... 18 3.1 The Plans and of Perspectives Women before Bride-kidnapping and ChangesthisAct 2.3 Introduction to the Interviewees’ ...... 10 Life Stories 2.2 My Position as ...... 8 a Researcher 2.1 Methodological Process of the Research...... 6 1.3 Research Description...... 4 1.2 Theoretical Framework...... 1 1.1 Historical Background...... 1 ...... 46 ...... 65 ...... 69 ...... 1 ...... 6 iii ...... 33 ...... 18 CEU eTD Collection researchers such as Lori Handrahan and Russell L. Kleinbach. There is even the movie by Petr Framework 1.2 Theoretical sustain bride-kidnapping. that practicethe of factors position bride-kidnappingreveal livesKazakhstan, in occupies the to women’s of the Iseek understandrole what are.To and processes whatthese and social processes, and political kidnappingfamilies consider andtheir this and ritual, whatextenttheir attitudes to by are shaped research. focusare in of present issuesthe the that are the Kazakhstan contemporary frameworkand ofmarriage it position and what in thewider within occupies family evolved this practice How inKazakhstan. rite marital be a to continues kidnapping Bride will. itself man was a her manifested herhis of irrespective a woman that abducted and made wife Asian Kazakhstan The way Central societies particularly (Diamond 2002). this practice kidnapping, marriage or byabduction,long-standing has been a custom andtime-honoured for deals with marital the ritual haswhich beenin practised many of countries Central Asia. Bride variety of activities which a cultures presuppose in countries’ of customs practices Themarital peoples. different those seem to be odd and obscure to other cultures. The present research Background 1.1 Historical Chapter 1- Introduction Most of the research on bride kidnapping in Central Asia was done in Kyrgyzstan by in Kyrgyzstan done was Asia in Central kidnapping bride on research the of Most bride were subjectto is who thewomen my how interest of research The particular Marital in many discourse inevitably interweaves countries with traditionsthe and 1 CEU eTD Collection the connection with the change that was brought into the independent states in the Central Asia Central inthe states independent the into brought was that change the with connection the examining Asia. state-society is inrelations and Central Soviet post-Soviet This ritual viewed in involved issues. kidnappingcountriesinfluential understanding and arebetter inthesetwo serve to may of the state to the independent otherone. Thus,Central with along the countries, both as Asiansimilarities Kazakhstan of that to close republics, relatively is Kyrgyzstan in condition which have may undergone occur in the The state the context. cultural Kazakhstan within very practice this of toexamining contribute discourseprocess of of transformationbride- from the socialist bride-kidnapping act. the preconditions questionto rolethe and in of ofbride-kidnapping.coercion consentdiscourse focusing the By on of this act I extend seeks My study firstplace. in the bride-kidnapping of the the occurrence thatstipulate processes the rolethose seeing of necessity the in ofclaim I Kazakhstan, of those context the in one the to bride-kidnapping two concepts beyond of this representation by However, applying are. inbride-kidnapping of involved practice the the limits of the actions the howcoercive emphasize to they seek marriages the non-consensual problematizing inbride-kidnapping. By underscore lack consent the of of process to the tend women’s in women disturbingprocedures the duringgo through act the bride-kidnapping.of The authors leaveit.resist notdoes is Thecoercionof ritual aspaceto women this bride-kidnapped the seen that is ritual acoercive bride-kidnapping articulate the idea that to tend Theauthors presented. is doubt marital way practice the space to this leave hasby beenauthors that done these research Lom “The Bride” Kidnapped dealsthat with of rite the bride kidnappingin Kyrgyzstan. The Bride-kidnapping, in most of the research works, is considered as a case study foris asacase study in considered most of works, research the Bride-kidnapping, may Kyrgyzstan in bride-kidnapping of practice the on done been has that research The 2 CEU eTD Collection policy. state’s andchangeswithin post-Soviet instability the of country political the and economical of the citizens. She viewsmaintainto laws which sustain gender equality, the pooreconomicinsecure and situation state or the practice of bride-kidnappingfail seems to legislation Sovietthat inpost disbelief the national culture, Kazakh which enforce in policies state the terms them: among are policies state following The of itsbride-kidnapping. nonconsensual close relation to the which tothe rise factors of Shearguesthat are principlethere three contributed (2004). Kazakhstan” risethe andin kidnappingnonconsensual bride post-Soviet nation-state: the of meninequality between and women. social the to particularly traditions, patriarchal old to the in returning resulted rebuilding national This aspossible. of USSR former the from ones the asdistant ideals the with identities social have newnational the built They SovietUnion. by the formerly guaranteed dismantled welfare programs also have but identities national new rebuild to attempted have countries post-Soviet the collapsed, Union ideology. Soviet the When limited state by and restricted the to independence, underscores how all the practices related to the sustaining of old traditions were identities and revision of old traditions and customs which became the part of new state policies. national ofnew construction ledtothe which outline changes the these authors processes, Olcott (2002),Pauline Jones Luongand Taylor (2004) Douglas (2004). Among Northrop social isSoviet as in of states the explored Mary Buckley works Marthasuch authors Brill (1989), inpost- women lives of on reflected change this How Union. Soviet the of collapse the after Bride kidnapping is the central revisited tradition in Werner’s work “Women, marriage, “Women, in work Werner’s tradition revisited is central the Bride kidnapping rule Soviet the from Kazakhstan of transformation the exploring (2004), Werner Cynthia 3 CEU eTD Collection life experiencebefore and after they were bride-kidnapped. It also examines what plans and women’s interviewed thattacklesthe withchapter third the analysis starts This of research. the outcomes the understand and interpret to helps that background theoretical the with connection ritual the viaconductingentails interviews with people. these were involved in is ritual.this It essential learnto first-hand all consequencesandproblemsthe who families and bride-kidnapping to subject were who women, of narratives the analyzing by part of the nationalism discourse. I believe that itis possibleanswer to my research question only ininvolved ofbride-kidnapping practice the and if see themselves people as bride-kidnapping mightbe factors other deeper what understand to Iseek experience interviewees’ the through regard, this In like bride-kidnapping. practices of traditional the resurgence identity with along independent isviewed one as mainfactor the resulted in that construction the newof national kidnapped women and theirfamilies. The process of transformation from the socialist state to the Description 1.3 Research kidnapping. bride- of reinforce practice factors the that in other assist of understanding intended to are frameworks in These practice. andthe lawinvolvement state andthe inKazakhstan relations isthis actfunctioning. Istudy ritual the bride-kidnappingof within of the discourses kinship intendI address issues to bride-kidnapping frameworks the byexaminingof within other which of myresearch, only.nation In and oneframework state bride-kidnapping within the actof views The research comprises three chapters with the analysis of the interviewees’ in of interviewees’ the with analysis the chapters three comprises The research bride- the with interviews in-depth the on based is research the of part empirical The The analysis of bride-kidnapping presented in the works of the afore-mentioned authors 4 CEU eTD Collection people’s attitude towards the legal involvement of legal of the state. the people’s towards involvement attitude son. The last chapter discusses her themarriage after of elderlyshegets the woman of that to woman unmarried herfrom status the role of law and focusWomen’s is too.This arein positions theposition family the chapter, within of this traced state in the issues of bride-kidnapping bride-kidnapping. actof the into relation is discussed life-long dependency children and parents and fourth chapterperspectives hadwomen hadbefore the bride-kidnapping they andhow changed afterwards. The focuses on the analysis of kinship relations in Kazakh families. The role of 5 CEU eTD Collection experience of experience bride-kidnapping. Presumably,their of to discussion daughters’ issuesrelated the of want to participateBefore in the entering research. themothers. for their except give interviews the willing to not were field, families women’s of members It was I interestingdid not expectfamilies. Other of women’s representatives as theonly project present forthe interviewees thatthat malefathers members did ofnot members women’sof the women’swant families but only mothers of tobride-kidnappedfamilies discuss women became would kidnapped women and theirthefamily members. I intended tointerview bothmale andfemale not six zealously.For this bride- Iconducted in-depth interviews with history oral research, andcustoms follow traditions to people tend is as aplace where Oblast the known Oblast, KazakhstaninKazakhstaninbiggest is Oblast, namely Shymkent the city city. the This South law and the state. in the section Ipresenthow the act where isbride-kidnapping of considered intheframework of is discussed two also those between difference This women. the with in interviews the reflected is information This Kazakhstan. in levels social and legal the on both impacts linguistic different have terms Thesetwo latter. of the of action merelytype a specific is not former the because these twoterms Idifferentiate from “kidnapped.” term the separately “bride-kidnapped” term the only interviewsthe with women the were bride-kidnappedwho butwith families, Iusetheir too. of bride-kidnapping andwilling share to their experiences. The empiricalnot datacomprises Research the of Process 2.1 Methodological Chapter 2–Methodology The interviews were conducted with women who were bride-kidnapped inSouthern bride-kidnapped whowere with women conducted The interviewswere act the to subject were who the women of stories personal the on isbased research This 6 CEU eTD Collection flexibility of flexibilityinterviews me askfollow-up allowed of semi-structured the to and reactto questions ended question I askedthem tell whatto they theact bride-kidnapping. about remembered of The theopen- firstplace.to tell in and Through the relevantthey appropriate share whatconsidered Interestingly, there was much information of which the mothers did not seem be aware. theirlearned personallives bride-kidnapping moreand about influence andits on lives. their into insight moreI gained together. interviewed were mothers their and women wherethe ones the than more successful interviews were two Those mothers. theirfrom women the separately interviewsof managed Therewereonly women. bride-kidnapped two whichI conduct with to whatsay more they in in Idiscussthis had experienced. about more stories detail particular the in the position of a controlling body thatdaughters’ stories byaddingsomefelt information theyconsidered It mothers relevant. were that restricted women or served as an obstacleinterviews, thatmothers Inoticed had anauthoritative position interferedand their into for them to me aloneduringleave with theinterviews.However, actual the daughters their during to their reasonsof quitebe unwillingness could certain the what not of am bride-kidnapping. I themselves. It seemed that it was the first time for them, too, that they discussed their leavingdaughters’against their me alonehear with butwantedto daughters their daughters’ stories mothers were most women’sthe of during interviews, the is that It interesting interviews. actual kidnapping atthe beginninginterviews. the However, of they their duringchanged positions the role the in of families. women elderly the family. I explain this reluctance of malemembers of their families in the section where I discuss society, Kazakh of sphere theprivate concerns asitmatters” “female is seenas bride-kidnapping The interviews began with an open-ended question to let the bride-kidnapped women bride-kidnapped the let to question open-ended an with began interviews The Women’s mothers were also reluctant to discuss their daughters’ experiences of bride- 7 CEU eTD Collection points research, own her for conducted she outinterviews the to principle this applying thatLevesque-Lopman, it a respondent. of also “shoes” the in himself/herself positions a researcher that away “builds such in listen to connections interviews/oral histories means‘listen in learningto (Levesque-Lopman stereo’” 2000,103),i.e. and in-depthfollowedfeministphenomenology.“applied of theprinciples when to Theprinciple avoids alienation subjects of “women’s and voices”. rite this hear Moreover, while my interviews, I conducting of the researcher from the aResearcher as Position 2.2 My all consequences and the problems the ritual entails by interviewsconducting with people.those first-hand learn to is essential It ritual. in this involved were who (mothers) members family and bride-kidnapping ofwomen were subjectto Ianalyzethenarratives mentioned who questions, afore- the answer To law. in protection sought who women bride-kidnapped those about Didin theyseelegalinvolvement issues bride-kidnapping the of orhowdid relevant theyfeel problemthe in aparticular sphere, invisible whywereother spheres bride kidnapping? regarding women and theirmothers consider its origin in law orcustom or somewhere else? If they located questions: What wasbride-kidnapping for those women who had it? experienced Did those meassisted in analysisthe theirof stories in discoursethe bride-kidnapping.of It more critically. situations on their me reflect made issues Those consider. issues to more interviewing women’s andtheirfamilies. thebride-kidnapped revealed women Thus,the stories by anticipated me womenraised werenot by topics the duringwhat interviews. Some of women the wassaid The interview method seemed the best one to establish a personal connection with the establishconnection to a personal bestone seemedthe method The interview By using thein-depth interview method, Iattempted tofind the answers tothefollowing or included generalthe inor into setof thatIprepared questions for advance 8 CEU eTD Collection 2000, 104).This process happens underthe influence of social withinrelations which one places i.e. “a by forprocess which, all beings,social is subjectivity (Levesque-Lopman constructed” something isin rather or a specific of more It something person. characteristic a general sense, byher in sense is individualistic nottaken of experience Hence, understanding this the concept. of interpretation Levesque-Lopman’s Louise use I By experience, paradigms. established certain 110). Thus,the poweroflifeviewed experience maybe as oneof for reconsideration of tools the seen-but-not-noticed” hador (Levesque-Lopman what previously2000, been taken-for-granted, reflection, are given a change in attention, anew attention laa vie, that thus makes ‘problematic’ assumes experiences“through and of It theselection which,recollection Lopman 2000, 103). atmosphere. share theirbride-kidnapping experience any without i.e.compulsion,in a relaxed free and same helpmy interviewees Theway andwasintendedasked thequestions time. I organized to andat compassionate point whichthe both tothe byaskingquestions sharingwere stories their analyse the issues involved in discoursethe of bride-kidnapping. During aninterview, Ihelped in and examine to helped results The mothers. their and women the with interviews the from results in toachieve order the of lives. afore-mentioned some parts Iusedthisapproach Thus, their mention to unwillingness their even or experience their of moment a particular about telling or manner of answering question, a particular to reactions can be women’s aswell. These interview and get their reactions not only from what women say but from other elements that are part of the hear able to meansbeingThis ‘catch’ principle empowerment” (Levesque-Lopman 2000,104). for for instrument women's ‘catch’asan is the interviews in-depth there possibility interaction of face-to-face the in talk in woman-to-woman that show to] serves it addition, participants…[in This method isalsofor “starting used from women's 9 lived experience” (Levesque- CEU eTD Collection the Information Technology Department simultaneously. Her marriage life did not last long after long last not she was sheleftherbride-kidnapped: seven after “husband” monthsdid ofliving together. life marriage Her simultaneously. Department Technology Information the kidnapped whenshe was 16. Sheis working 19now, service atacomputer office andstudying at context is intended to assist in the further analysis of my interviewee’s life experiences. my analysisof interviewee’s assistin further is to the intended context woman with interviewed.wider This beginning first the I interviews which wereconducted, the sequencein interviewees the according ofthe to This outlines thestories marital status. chapter and happened it where and how bride-kidnapped, were they when i.e. kidnapping, information actofbride- somethe background.concerning professional Ialso present mothers. their the Theinformationincludes women’s and age, educational bride-kidnapped Life Stories Interviewees’ the to 2.3 Introduction itsfor new understanding. givemore space or reassess therite help may to experience interviewees’ of the lens the through atbride-kidnapping Tolook was subjectivity constructed. which istheir through process the Thiswork. present for the is key the experience role of the women’s my Therefore for research. i.e.by 2000, 104), experienceandthe Iuse whatLevesque-Lopman the definition understands (Levesque-Lopman interaction” that of effect is the it contrary, the On world. the with interacts then one from which orarrival of departure no“fixed point is for every There person. process of process subjectivity isconstruction “daily andrenewed” it dynamic, therefore, is a continuous The interpersonal. and material, can be economic, relations Thesesocial is or placed. oneself The and women both interviewees, my about information introductory some present now I first participants were Almira and her mother 10 Nurzhamal . Almira was bride- their current their CEU eTD Collection the mostthe difficultdecision in herlife but tostay in the groom’s family was harder. The interview daily andquarrels anunbearable life with her husband, she escaped hishouse. subsequent but chapters, afore-mentioned the onewas definitely indominant her decision. After in Idiscuss which herinfluenced decision, that factors many were there that Shesaid Almira. reputation avoidmightand it. try to spoil stories gossip that and Thesamehappened with the groom check if a brideimportant and determinate element of a “decent unmarriedwas woman”. Even nowadays, relatives of a virgin afterbride-kidnapped womanis labeled as isone whonot virgin anymore. is Virginity the avery first night. Thus, much as a their reputation threaten might likebride-kidnapping events unpleasant leads. Such women are aware of liferegion inway ismuchpeople.of the on their Theawoman that reputation dependent of a woman shethat if wasworriedmany people think what would thatshe waskidnappedbyso they knew who kidnapped her and warned she that didnot remember unknown anything, the peopleher told thatthere had been men twenty her about the consequences of her refusal to stay.persuade relatives her around her tried to by who tostay means of tricks. different Almira told After shefound than many regained Shymkent. of female consciousness, groom’s the of The hiscity parents. where she move had to considered is lessdeveloped andmuch smaller housethe herhome to town, tohis lived.Almira Hetook far wherefrom theone which was not city, groom in the but from himself her.another came drugged actoccurred Shymkentcity, The sheAfterwards, actitself. aboutthe anything that had kidnapper realized the his and companions remember tell not Almira. She asshe saidshe did ofherbride-kidnapping details not could the Almira lives with her mother Nurzhamal now. She admitted that coming back home was home back coming that admitted She now. Nurzhamal mother her with lives Almira One of those tricks was the story of her bride-kidnapping. Taking advantage of the fact description the of to way inaccording aviolent wasrealized bride-kidnapping of The act 11 CEU eTD Collection telling ittelling afterwards. stopped Almira’squestions. story she Hermother’spausedor also involvement disturbed as interview Almiranot did talkmuch tried or to tell her story answeringwithout anyfollow-up hadmanage Idid talk them separately.not some efforts, asduring the to consequences to It my Despite story. her daughter’s to listen to her will expressed asshe mother her of presence mother and sister are the only people relyto on.interview The with Almira was conducted in the her years ago; he diedseveral nothaveafather: Almiradoes in house. hermother’s occurred kidnapper and his companions that were waiting for her. However, when the taxi left her two her left taxi the when However, her. for waiting were that companions his and kidnapper was able to leavebride-kidnapher.She wasforcalled to planning her ataxi scared backhome. and to take She were they that her her told he and husband-to-be, her knew who husband, worksister’s her from call place throughalready knewbut drinks the alcoholic thewith something reason celebrating them saw She day. working emergency of end the oftill their celebration. Byexit thebutcouldlunch. goout refused She friendsto seehimandhis from waiting window the forher end of andthe working escape day, Aigul fromreceived a the he invited her tomeet hisfriends. The third time, hebride-kidnapped her.bride- acquaintedherdays.husband for and two day got The the date, secondthey wastheirfirst time dated had She marriage. their after there stayed and city Shymkent from were husband her and husband’s relatives and Mariyam heraccepted daughter with her husband and their son. mother kidnapped she when was i.e.years lives seven 18, ago. She herhusband with Aigul’s and with My next interviewee’s name is name interviewee’s next My Aigul expected it to happen; she was at work when her future husband asked her out forhappen; when it husband out to her she atwork future Aigul askedher was expected Aigul, tellingher thestory of bride-kidnapping, shared Aigul followingthe details. Both Mariyam . They did not her tolive haveanyplace . They havingsome did problemswith after Aigul ; she is a neigbour of Almira’s. She was bride- was She Almira’s. of ; sheisaneigbour 12 CEU eTD Collection preventing it during the actual preventing Aigerim from the it actual city during act. was where shewasstudyingShymkent in many about times however thought she bride-kidnapping, actof the refusal. Sheagreedto her or failure of case inthe suicide commit time or that herkidnap at to threatening her,marry to her parents, who were strongly against their marriage. Her husband was persistentin his decision of marriage.resulttheir unsuccessful the as husband her from separately family own her with lives and girl newborn a has She ago. Sholpan mother her with interviewee third my became Aigerim married. got she when kidnapped much. analysis in my helped which interviewees the both from details many I learnt result, conducted separately with each of the participants, i.e. with Aigul and her mother Mariyam. As a interviewwas firstthe I room. It inaseparate house place inMariyam’s interview took The mother. Aigul’s Mariyam, with live they time, that Since husband. her of relatives the with pregnancy. her and chores household of because job sheafforda higherleftget theactof her tofornot bride-kidnapping, her.After education kidnapping, she had just finished high school and was working at the school as her parents could Aigulmother.understand stay agreed to to histrying At momentherbride- position. of the leave. He promised much and also shared how difficult his situation was as he did not have they came to the house as the groom managed after leavefamily the try not to She did werearranged. procedures usual wherethe afterwards to persuade her on their way to his house her hersteps from house,his therewashouse groom to the away.who took She wasbrought not to She had dated her ex-husband for two months but did not plan months forShe hadtwo herex-husband marry butdidhim because not dated to of interviewAfter our Aigul introduced me her friendto Aigul,According to had they to move toher mother’s house five after yearsliving of . Aigerim is. Aigerim bride-kidnappedi.e. she 22now;sheyearless was than when was21, a 13 Aigerim who was also bride- was also who CEU eTD Collection the time to Due that there. her left family husband’s passed Her occurred. bride-kidnapping of act the when ormoment some other reasons,husband. Shewas invited tohis birthday party was and prevented from leaving as Marzhanwas that the did not share many details of her couldbride- visit her. sees her very rarely, and the interview we went to conduct was one of those rare cases when she divorce from her husband. Her mother lives in avillage not far from the city. However, Marzhan about thought and now happy not was she that learnt I interview, our of a result As twenty. andlives her husbandwith and yearshis family. ten wasbride-kidnapped when ago She she was Aizhan mother her house of happened atthe Marzhan interview with The each us other. introduced to they were busy with some work and did not have time for my interviews. father herhernor agreedtoparticipate brother intheproject. Aigerim’smother explained that Aigerim’s father was at home with her brother when I was conducting the interviews. But neither which managedI individually toconduct bride-kidnappedwith women themselves. Interestingly, interviews rare one That was of mother. those her from separately first Aigerim interviewed to get divorced. At the presentmoment, she lives with her own family. causedinbetween problems her the husband, andher relationship asthe shewhich had result of her husbandmove year shehad village bride-kidnapping, tothe Afterlast from the to university.where atthe was. She had serious disagreements and conflicts with her mother-in-law that She remembered the day of her bride-kidnapping that happened at the house of her is name interviewee’s next My I parents. her of house the in conducted was mother her and Aigerim with interview The , despite the fact that Marzhan had a house of her own. Marzhan has three children now children three has Marzhan own. her of house a had Marzhan that fact the despite , Marzhan 14 . She is acolleague of my former professor who CEU eTD Collection arrival to the place, she learnt that the bride was she herself. She stayed in the family of family in the of stayed wassheherself. She bride learnt the place, that the she arrival to after only but bride-kidnap, to hewanted whom Gulzhan friend her was it that sure was Maya his house. hethem took to cinema, to the cinema.After tothe wentgo out they andMaya to and spend some time with them in the café. Thenext day husbandMaya’s asked again Gulzhan Maya’s young husband. However, the men the girlsstay through persuaded conversation the to and awhile, after girls the leave decided by to asboth understood signsthe thatthey like notdid came ofhis with two friends girlsand metthe acquainted,outside Gulzhan’s house.They got man like young The man. not the they did incase signs indicate special to agreed and Gulzhan join them.Maya did notwant to goout but agreed after persistent persuasion herof friend. Maya meet mango out. andaskedMayato Gulzhan agreedtothe heracquaintedand askedherto with friend Gulzhan. She howremembered Gulzhan acallgot from a youngman wanted getwho to her of house the to went she time, first the for husband her met she day The follows. as looked informationmuch either. From from short that her, of learnt picture the I bride-kidnappingthe interviews wereconducted. moment the the at family the of members male no were There interview. the during daughter her leave to not mother’s wish it of was more her Inoticed that However, in speak private. to mother wanted her mother who also participated in the interview. Iinterviewed them together, i.e. neither Maya, nor family. own her of house in the conducted also was Maya with The act of bride-kidnapping only months happened three beforeinterview. our Theinterview difficult fordifficult her todiscuss. shekidnapping exceptthat it. was Ialsoagainst explainlater in my why work topicthis was Maya was very concise in her story: it was the shortest interview. Her mother did tell not Her interview. itwas theshortest inherstory: Maya wasvery concise My next interviewee’s name is name My interviewee’s next Maya . She is 19 now and works at the hospital as a nurse. 15 Nurzhan is the name of is name herof the CEU eTD Collection general information that concerned her bride-kidnapping, however, there were phrases, thoughts phrases, were there however, bride-kidnapping, her concerned that information general seemed to exist despite the time that had passed since that period, i.e. ten years. Indira shared just still her day at the of bride-kidnapping her parents betweenIndiraand appeared tension that The share experiences. their to interviewees of the andopenness willingness the influenced factthis Iassume that werepresent. women the both in where room, same the conducted However,shefound afterwards. very whole the procedure disturbing. intogot his carher willingly. Hebrought tohis She house instead. refuse didstay not to and agreed She house. her to her bring to suggested who boyfriend her met she when home way happened her her It forfor her thethat actbride-kidnappingof parents. on as wasasunexpected she marry. confessed “wanted” to However, sheherself marriage whereas her been had against parents her that explained She herself. and family her both for unpleasant event that considered system of Kazakhstan. Now, she works as a nurse at the hospital. educational tothe level according university from atthe one is the which very different degree beaffordparents able helped it.not herobtain Her husband wouldacommunity college to higheruniversity know that thebut parents’didobtain not education andher school after of enter the finishinghigher get planedto school. She not after education much asshecould old girl, and she liveswith her husband’s family. The act of bride-kidnapping influencedlife her she she inhighschool.she wasstudent was bride-kidnapped Now when hasa10year- a 16 and Maya’s story I discuss in the subsequent chapters. in subsequent the I discuss story Maya’s detailsmarriage.her other of Some Maya very that. about was positive after bride-kidnapper I did not manage to talk to Indira and her mother separately. The interviews wereIndira herself was not glad or eager to share the story of her bride-kidnapping as she Indira and her mother andher Bibigul weremy 16 last intervieweeslast . Indira is 26 years old now; CEU eTD Collection house of and of house her agreedtotell life parents some partofher experience. for break thelunch Indira to in placehouse. came her parent’s took interview The chapters. andslipped sentences that her through stories. Iemphasize and those discuss tiny details inother 17 CEU eTD Collection kidnapped women where theyhigher buthad education orgive topostpone uptheir Ipresent plans. below thebride- stories of themselves share how gettingthey high about studiedwomen thought graduatingschool from at who highschool.the Those saw their lives beforemoment and ofafter their theybride-kidnapping, except for Aigul and Maya who were already Lives their into workingBrings Act this and Changes after Bride-kidnapping before ofWomen Perspectives and Plans The 3.1 bride-kidnapping. common Ihopewouldthat in assist ofmanyunderstanding issues involved in of discourse the experience. intheir events important most the of one became bride-kidnapping as lives their of sides All both learn to those important was It act. the before had they one the also but experience kidnapping stories were different between border isthe in two of blurred discourse the bride-kidnapping. and uniquekidnapper “consensual” inboth bride-kidnapping. and“nonconsensual” Ialso how the discuss at their influencedfactors womentomakecore be adecision to bride-kidnapped ortostayin family the a of but had andsawfuture marriagebeforeimagined their married.seek their they reveal I got to what something before and afterin they got married in a“traditional” way. Idemonstrate how women themselves kidnapped. inlivesinterested their were different how they interviewed women Iwas after got Subjugation? Chapter 3-Bride-kidnapping: a New Start or Continuity of Almost all interviewed women were studying at the university or at high school at the bride- only not after their sharedtackled women interviewed the that The lifeexperiences In this Istudy how the chapter, practice ofbride-kidnapping influencedthelives of 18 CEU eTD Collection their happiness” and that way starts from marriage, i.e. from the moment when they become a become when they from i.e. moment the marriage, from starts way that and happiness” their woman’s inpowerful position Women tend family.the to think thatthey have pass to a “way to elderly feelingfreedom myth about inmarriage. that the with for of Iconnect herownlife the findspace me to more like sheexpected felt asitvery to surprising seemed Thatphrase own”. her of life “a of thinking family own her leave to eager was she that hint a made but explicitly it express not did probably She moment. that at thought she what express to free felt she relatives, interviewthe was individuallyconducted with Aigerim, involvement without of any herof Since bride-kidnapped. were who women other with happened usually it how heard she that said the village, where the house of the groom’s parents was. In her words: kidnapped she became a housewife without an opportunity to further her studies, as she moved to bride- After was professional she have education. husband higheror not studies, did while her women. interviewed and Igotthefollowing from the how lives occurred reflections theirchanged afterwards bride-kidnapping before lives actof had the they myquestion what of To were bride-kidnapped. Aigerim evidently did not expect her life changeto so radically after her marriage. She also pregnant with my girl and didn’t have money of my own. educationmyfor and examsas[pause] well.myselfcouldn’t doit Iwas I Aigerim:Me: A lot? Yes,finally. me I important onemean but then it all stopped. My parents had to pay quite alot to get it for was studying when I wasbride-kidnappedthey andyear, it mylast was the most finishhavewouldnot university the without the helpmyof As you,I toldparents. I I do… to toa youngbride issupposed what doeverything move the villageand to pay was difficultfor for me. You can imagine how difficult it caneverything, be for a think myself mycity Ijust new simply devoted family….Well, to hardand Itried it girl to own [laughing]. universitythe happened….Hm, Iwasstudying anditall at then I my family much;so I thought Iwould be leave to glad it havealife and my of for Aigerim:itwas Uh, sodifferent… Icouldn’timagine even that Iwould evermissmy last year of Aigerim, for example, told me that she was studying at the university at the last year of her 19 CEU eTD Collection Methods chapter. 1 “catch” to tried say. I Therefore shehadto share everything to feel make her withfree and Indira straight tocontinueinterview itnot was hardto react or Indira, on conversation the concentrate to myefforts Despite relevant. information she considered the herIndira’sinterrupted motherinterview herby several with the during times daughteradding added accidentally wouldthat explicitly explain her attitude orreactionsmother’s toher remarks. her moments life, she certain manner of phrases like her of presenting about astory talking of components those all mean I behavior By story. her from than rather behavior her from more that her life changed completely. From a short conversation with Indira, Icould understand much emphasizelife-long the dependency children of on their parents. whereI chapter, in aseparate children relationship and parent family. the I discuss another her lot after aseven shebecamepartof for herthey on a dependent parents, did education felt she that evident also was it interview, Aigerim’s From families. husbands’ their of part Indira explained further: positionwould and towhatshesomething revealIndira’s As true attitude hadexperienced. that I discussed the “catch” principle as a component of feminist phenomenological approach to interviewing in the interviewing to approach phenomenological offeminist component a as principle “catch” the discussed I Indira, the woman who was bride-kidnapped when she was still a child, 16 years old, said old, years 16 child, a still was she when bride-kidnapped was who woman the Indira, nursery job I have now. I have job nursery Unfortunately, gethigherwhat Icouldn’t education but Ihave is forenough the own parents paidfor my later, education college when I hadmy baby already… mother].her My at look loveattention [laughing, and care, rest, they all the gave doingworked myhousehold duties….His family didgive not meeducation,but it…Indira:he kidnapped After me,Ibecameand …Well, that’s a house-wife Me: yes? Indira: ….Yes, Idid, but it was so long ago and moreover… [long pause]… when she career was 6 andsport did her so well and travelledstarted she a lot way, until the that event. by Professionally mother: Indira’s yeah, Ialso used to go in for sport… Indira:Well, Iwasstudying athigh school Iwas before bride-kidnapped… Oh 20 1 from from she everything expressed, CEU eTD Collection it. feelinginfrontmother,of only her fromsmall catches those I got noticeher behavior helped to had as the result of her bride-kidnapping experience. Surprisingly, she tried not to show that bride-kidnappingaboutstatement her justfeeling of daughter she underpinned her of resentment Herharsh her forsee bride-kidnapping she woulddid own wish assomething daughter. not iffurious….[Me: what ithappens?] her…. ThenIwould return [Laughing]” Indira herself Thus, my that is daughter 10 nowand in7 9yearsor she would bebride-kidnapped too,Ibecome even addednot like thatwould such her own a lifefordaughter. me “When myfriends say to be heard. to hermother phrase for that family said and emphasizedfound thatin love she thenewfamily; itsounded likenone shehad in herown she story, her sharing was Indira When there. “love” got she that story her in mentioned me sounded asshe to strange her gave education. It own parents husband whereasher her care, Indira attention love sportcareer. thatshegot familyof inthe and emphasized future also bit hermotherangry when kepttelling thedetails andtheyhadtheirplans about daughter’s a looked she even Moreover, mother. her itas about as enthusiastic not was she that catch could I expression her from but career, sport her leave to felt she how about sentence her finish not something. Shedid about Indiraconcerned made life, part ofher that about enthusiastic remarks mother her experience, sport her about mentioned just Indira When Indira. with interview role inthe interruption mother’s asignificant played her during interview, noticed the that I However, act. before that she had life the and experience bride-kidnapping her more about However, she did not feel glad about the life she got after she was bride-kidnapped. She bride-kidnapped. was she after got she life the about glad feel not did she However, Through the concise life story of Indira, Icould see her reluctance goto intodetails and tell 21 CEU eTD Collection knitting in addition motherpay did not much language. Marzhan’s herself with Therefore, attention and preoccupied when people mix these case is It ausual mother. her to strange seem not did life. It her of details personal some shared two languages when theyunderstand)Russianbutmothershiftedgeneral information,she (whichher did notwhenever to cannot some explain telling was she when Kazakh in questions my answering was She something Marzhan. with interview in one or another happened interviewsduring the both placeof with them. events whereIcould take Interesting only mother, her house the of inthe conducted was Marzhan with interview the Interestingly, kidnapped. bride- was she before had she life the about happy be to seem not did Indira whereas husband, herfamily tohaveinnew life the of a sheexpected it seenthat interview Aigerim’s From was women’s attitudeconcerned Indira, and Aigerim of that cases, the both in fact tointeresting The theirkidnapping. own families withfar,husband for 10years moral soshe did her express disapproval the act bride-about of whom they her with lived has and used family” happy “a had Indira that Despite to live bride-kidnapping. of experience before they got married. present time. In Marzhan’s words: In Marzhan’s time. present crying herhusbandatthe someshe hadwith personal sharingproblems Marzhan started while I think both Indira that share and didAigerim not any positive attitude towards their Me: Marzhan, if you don’t feel like telling it’s ok. graduating from university the [longbut….. crying]… pause]…..[starts Marzhan: … Well, when I am 30 probably, Iwanted to get a Master’s degree after Me: when did you plan to marry then? marry all time. at that plan toat I didn’t happened. loved meand would doeverythingme….ah, for Idon’t know, really,how it all kidnap me so early;itMarzhan: Andhappenedhim understand how Idon’t allowed that bride- to I was just 20 when he did that. He said all the time that he One of my other interviewees Marzhan told me much about her personal melife.her personal much about told Marzhan my interviewees One of other . There was even a moment when her mother left the room for some time and time some for room the left mother her when moment a even was There 22 CEU eTD Collection her whole story. In her words: Maya, she very toldin herstory way,adding fine” phraseslike “it a simplified throughout was Maya’s bride-kidnapping. thatherbride-kidnapping Despite unexpectedness wasabsolute for yearsIndira while bride-kidnapped ten ago, was only monthsfrom had 3 passed day the of period. time marriage a different have Maya and Indira that here mention to need I time. the all inHowever, toIndira,contrast Mayatold thein story avery positive way,laughing andjoking room. in the not was mother her when moment the at emotions of break a had and understand not could mother her language the to switched she Therefore, had. she concerns and feeling was she everything about know to mother her want did not see support in her own family as she was completelyMarzhan separatehusband. her from without it safe now.feel She not did did notshe as had she inevitability of sense the noticed I story Marzhan’s From like. felt it what know even not did and husband her from satisfaction The conversation with my next interviewee Maya was also short as in the case with Indira. with case in the as short also was Maya interviewee next my with conversation The Marzhan even shared some her detailsintimate of life, she that confessing nevergotsexual and my children… me for is noplace his wife.There mother and my with married lives and brother I gowith 3 children and… even have Idon’t aplace whereIcouldback. go My loved me ….And I thoughtit he wasfine… much how I wantme leave to him now, telling but wherekept he will and family my own have to better feel would marry himI agreed to in firstplace,Ineverthe loved It him…never,Ithought just… I began and Marzhan: recently something happened why thinking I … No, bolady itbut all in stayed it past[thinkingthe expression], butbe will fine [ you haveanylife beforeplans it happened?] sure I had both plans and aboyfirend Maya: Yes, Icried and butit’severything finestayed now,I there[smiling]…[did Me: wereyou against? just three times and third time hebride-kidnapped me [laughing]... asItold So, myfirst purpose…. you wemet friendbride-kidnap whowashis Maya: I didn’t know him at all [laughing], moreover, I thought he wanted to ]… 23 Jaksy CEU eTD Collection of of her friends and relatives and explainedthat even books read some theritual in detail. Thus, kidnapping was something shefrom would that knew happenoneday.Shelearnt experience the are bride-kidnapped, andIhear such day,stories itevery is normal nowadays.” ForAigul,bride who ofwomen lots thereare “Yes, Idid: life, replied she her of in moment one bride-kidnapped be to questionifthe she expected To andacquaintances. her relatives among common practice itmarriagesaw her before happened.it the said bride-kidnapping She as that sheexpected was a Maya’s stay“supported” decision to in of family the a bride-kidnapper. and her daughter of marriage the against not mother was Her often. very mother said” was normally“likemoreover,repeating she my byMaya, interview. It kept accepted daughter’s position herof mother was as evident she and interrupted added what she during wanted her think that hermother’s The Maya’s during interview playeditspresence authoritative role too. I parts. remembershe that saying not did those recently quite she madepauses several times happened event that though Even story. her of details the share to chance a have not did Maya women’s behaviorin such notcases, i.e. womendo leave that the house a bride-kidnapper.of usual the about mother her with agreed also She that. known have must she and help not would it that reply mother-in-law’s her got she when up gave just then but police, the call would she that was them to said she All it. against was she though even family bride-kidnapper’s the leave to try not Maya, did she to According instead. be good would everything that phrase the repeated She them. about say not did she difficulties some had have might she though even that idea Aigul, one of my interviewees, telling the story of her bride-kidnapping shared how she how shared bride-kidnapping her of story the telling interviewees, my of one Aigul, inherMaya’s positiveabout approach gaveme bride-kidnapping experience telling the Maya:… Yes, they usually stay [ comeit’s back, youtradition our know Maya’s mother: If a woman is bride-kidnapped in our society, it’s difficult to Bezde sutup kaladygoi 24 ] CEU eTD Collection her to work. Aigulseem manner. bevery inher work. wastelling herstory apositiveto Shedid not to him allowingof not hertoworkbutemphasized it several times was that him wantwho did not she afterAs explained: soon thebride-kidnapping. actof pregnant became jobleave asshe her was to whopersuaded herhusband It bride-kidnapped. she after was was her Despite one the taught how towork. who hisin shelefther persuasion month work 3 she herto convince that young was fortoo marriagethe andhad develop. ahigh He to potential insecurenot and havehigher education did either.job, When she wasleavingher her bosstried find educationa job without experience. She and work said herhusbandthat wasfinancially support for doing that. Aigul said that she missed her time, she was 25 now and it was difficult to continueto hereducation one yearafter of justandworking needed time and some financial shegetit saidthat planned successwithout Aigul highereducation. and a it forherto great was her husband bride-kidnapped her right after she left the taxi,i.e. next to her own house. as reach not could destination the his friends but aescape and bride-kidnapper the taxi took to She somehow. it prevent to tried just she shocked, or surprised not was she happened it when Aigul’s career was dependent upon Aigul’supon married.her husband career accuse she dependent was after She not got did jobs. in my something like not did always job he was satisfiednot I used by comethat to home laterthan he did. Thus, he office, he used to be jealous about all our male customers. When I foundAigul: another … [pause] Honestly, Ican’t explain, when workedI in distribution of films why Me: But didn’t heyouwant towork? husband did notwant me to work at all. inlongwork it someway,my not last a but placesafter to Itried while, as did mehe baby….Andbythe care of take wanted work, our me to want actually to boy [laughing] for was not all child first. us…. Yes,hedida realsensation of It he marriedgreat happinessformembers30 and family, ababy-his all as at of got it a boy, was of our birth the After myreturn…. that couldeducation guarantee himself. Hence, husbandAigul: if say me, work used My need did he to to to why earnedmoney I herjob liked bride-kidnapped. She leave shewas had after herjob to said Aigul she that I decided to leave my job and I did not have a diploma of higher of diploma a have not did I and job my leave to 25 CEU eTD Collection inevitably imposed on women of the South Kazakhstan region. As Aigul explained further: thinkbride-kidnappingof that foundsomethingis she thesomething act abnormal or that madewords me to Her not occur. does ofbride-kidnapping process the where way” a “normal in marriage the about dreams everyone Aigul said that As aresult, mothers. from their separately i.e. atmosphere, marriage anideal interviewed inmorethey private imagined about were what share did women who Those answers. in their bride-kidnapping theactof toward attitude their expressed they However mothers. their of presence the in interviewed were and experience bride-kidnappingtheir not tell much about idealdid women Thesewerethe marriage. who kidnapping of Bride- Act the towards orAttitudes Marriage ofIdeal Vision 3.2 The and their families. I discuss this tendency in the next chapter in detail. husbands their obey to supposed are women significant, not is spouses the between difference age the where families the in Even marriage. after families their and husbands their on dependent many could become outof be justone husbands asthey requirethat women’s totheirobedience husband and her passivity to resist him. However, itis necessary highlightto here, that this factor years11 he. youngerthan her The agedifference could also influenceAigul’sobedience to husband. their own business and sheplanned towork asitthere would be fine forher both child andher disappointed that couldnotwork properly far,so but mentioned that her husband’s relatives start and it was too late to make a celebration. My husband used to make how to jokeslatemake of husband used to and My it too acelebration. was actual the wedding ceremony with wedding dressandpregnant party.got I soon a normalabout I dreamt many of Iwasdeprived have Ididn’t things. wedding… Some of the interviewees did not give any answer to the question of how they saw their was Aigul whereas her, bride-kidnapped he when old years 30 almost was husband Aigul’s 26 CEU eTD Collection mother is understandable because a woman after twenty is considered old for marriage in for old twenty is after because a woman considered ismother understandable Indira’s of The position [laughing]”. bride-kidnapped becauselate theyare they that hope are late whenthegirls are from I Moreover, work, [laughing]… day bride-kidnapped. they that were previously and nowshedreamtabout theirmarriage. “I would behilariously happy hearone to “overstepped”marriage age it from year already.and hadeven university Theygraduated the daughters hadreached Those moreshe daughters. hadtwo mentioned interview the that and evenfor Indira’sfor example, wishit their mother,daughters. herwholefamily described during is viamarriage. happiness Bride-kidnapping oneof easy the ways togetthat “happiness”. daughters their wish women elderly especially and women Thus, maid. old an stay to than for awoman rather important more is get married To woman. married herof a status to related is Kazakh the woman for “happiness” of Theconcept happiness. daughters’ theirmoment was that at them for important was what and fine felt they that said mothers the of Most kidnapping. bride- daughters’ their about feelings their about them asked when women, bride-kidnapped was happiness. about her daughter’s from I gotthe samemany mothers Interestingly, of answer Allmind sheworried wasbride-kidnapped. notif added but herdaughter would she then that sense of despair she all when thingsdescribed those being was ‘she bride-kidnap, of’ deprived bride-kidnappingtowards confused meher listening when answer.I was to Shetalked with a whomarriedgettinghave at Herambiguous, those for attitude financialfirst the sight, problems. andmay be way avery financial of comfortable expenses notinvolveas itdoes substantial Despite all the disturbing elements of bride-kidnapping some women ofit women ofbride-kidnappingapprove some and elements Despite allthe disturbing be married bride-kidnapping wayof can getting viewed asan Aigul alternative that stated it standardbride-kidnapping or wedding ceremony. have all be or these bride-kidnapped,is what moreimportant is herhappiness, be was ourwedding day. expression]…As my [serious for Ihope daughter, she will he could bring a white dress for me and we could have a ride in the city as if it 27 CEU eTD Collection been bride-kidnapped twice before, when she was younger. The attempted bride-kidnappings younger. attempted The was when she before, bride-kidnapped twice been boyfriend’s proposal and was in a hurry to marry. herfor andhope wait not Shecould married awoman. for get itis hardto quite this agelimit, mentioned before, girls in South Kazakhstan region usually get married before they arewas 21 andlasther was studying year atthe university when 20.all these happened.events AsI After She marriage. for ready more being him thought she as bride-kidnapper a of family in the stayed from but saidshe wasinarelationship Aigerim Kazakhs.” Hence, what happens us, among in another city. Who knewto marry.As formy boyfriend, he was actually youngtoo marriage for and involved inhis career when he ready was and he wanted would what knew who guy older an marry to better come, was it that thought I and I couldn’t wait for and knew quite long,ages, she replied:“My boyfriend was 22at that time butmy ex-husband was 25 you know, how it marry thisbefore When act. Iasked Aigerim she why didnot marry her boyfriend whosheloved boyfriends. their as them about think not did i.e. them, with relationships him.interviewees didnotknow their Other long husbands for a time in not andwere by herkidnapped boyfriend herhusband wasIndira. Sheknew and wasin a relationship with only was bride- The who woman bride-kidnapping occurred. actof the moment they hadat the men beloved or boyfriends their concerns that experience their of part another analyse to intend theTherefore, act bride-kidnapping of usually happens with young women, unsurprisingly. college. Kazakhstan.Those women Therefore, who do notwomen study try to getalso married try whileto get they married still study before at the universitythey are ortwenty. Aigerim also told me that it was not the first act of bride-kidnapping in her life, as she had in asshe herlife, it thefirstact ofbride-kidnapping was not methat Aigerim told also Aigerim,for example, said shethat had a boyfriendwhom she really andloved planned to bride-kidnappedStepping lives back to before women’s actof the bride-kidnapping, I 28 CEU eTD Collection was one more point that Aigul pointed out that was the fact that her husband did not have not did husband her that fact the was that out pointed Aigul that point more one was job support was morehecontrast family. the and reliablehadagood asbyhisThere good 30 boyfriend muchyounger; 21and hejust not have was didwas stable in Herhusband a work. Her husband. her and boyfriend her between difference significant a was there that said she did.husbandsuccessful” further was“moreAigul Her Butduringas explained. discussion our husband her day same the at her bride-kidnap to intended also boyfriend her that later learned of a marriage. responsibility the take ready not to was time and at that city livedin another who boyfriend her actual shesure about it wasnot butdidbecause abouther afterwards, decision regretted She marriage”. my finishedstudy and found awork”. It wasevident herthat marriage from wasfar a “love work, but I was so stupid that I married him; I would have better been off stayto with my family, tellinghad plansshe aboutthe apply she added following: “I the for to a planned MAand have began Atwhen Aigerim point“normal”. the the limit whentheirexceeds partners age future get not woman marriedin “choosing”does “appropriate time”. stop Women their an usually a worried if get families and their thus,women society, in important Kazakh very the iswoman which seems to be more feasible. be more to seems which 2 bush” in the two worth was hand in the bird “a decided Aigerim time feelhimhusband,her either. boyfriend. not Moreover, shedid to shehad anything own Butthat kidnappedby “consensually” husband.her future When she wasbride-kidnapped by her future she stated that feeldidnot anythingknew andhardly them.Thethird shewasbride- time Aigerim bride-kidnappers. of house the to brought been have could she before excuses some inventing by bride-kidnappers from the times escapeboth wasable to were notsuccessful.She It is popular saying used to explain people’s position when they have two or more options and choose only one only choose and options more or two have they when position people’s explain to used saying popular is It Aigul also had a boyfriend when she was bride-kidnapped by her husband. Moreover, she Moreover, husband. her by bride-kidnapped was she when boyfriend a had also Aigul 29 2 . The status of married of a The status CEU eTD Collection shared further: timethe howshefinally him marry decided to and stay she after bride-kidnapped. Asshe was husband instead.When she described herhusband she diditwith scorn and waswondering all She [laughing]”. tell didnot man tothe her sheanything married feelingsbut loved about her with the phrase:When feelings. try I askedherwhy not himanythingbecomeshe did or tell closerto shereacted “No, it waswas her dream, she loved everything inhim. Thatman did notknowanything aboutMarzhan’s just a dream, no, no, I just marriage. part of the admired him,care andof her husband’she was family.soshe got love in her newfamily. She usedlove inadifferent sense though, indicatingcute love and Thus, love did notthat mentioned who for Indira except marriages in lovetheir of role seem the about said interviewees to be viewed the of none Interestingly, marriage”. or “love to valuedbe referred could that anything mentioned as an important future benefit, the her benefit on decision her based she of that a felt itgood Aigul, by family. presented comparison She the From did extent. notsome say a word about her feelings and never depend get tothefamilynot shewould on husband’sthe where andbe independentto parents parents. They hadandlong agohis died he relatives.to She and sister with lived expected other intention. now I won’t years….it’showfind did insane, happen? it wantedmore childrenHe and of course anyone inten children three to birth him, Igave instead leaveresist and not I could divorced And why stay that’s him…. me to with wanted because ithe did me She that told fortunes. andmy tell to lady old one to withwent I when recently, it about threeout found I me. children.he bewitched because I left there thinkalso that itok? I seriously, take butplease Probablyjob and Icouldn’t help her at all… [after a while]…. I itwant totell yousomething, was nothavehis a she did situation, indifficult avery My mother was mother… [pause] Marzhan: really I don’tknow maybestayed why there.Well,I because my of it that said She with. love in was she a person had but boyfriend a have not did Marzhan 30 CEU eTD Collection kidnapped all of kidnappedlearn all not morea sudden.of Unfortunately,their Icould details about relationships problems as rootof the problemsthe isnot tangible. see limitsactions from problems.the determinate way This women inany their deciding they way the reflect explanations Their beyond. is that something with problems their connect Aigerim and Marzhan cases, both In child. her and her to cause could himself husband and her do.” Aigerim to not feel did safe because of dangerthe family the her husband’sof family they might apply to a witch who would cause they youcause you any far danger, from there?]…Well,you don’t know how it happens, always me some illness or whatever else they they mightdo with them.What ….[Me: happen could possibly your with pictures and howcan would ask and her child. “I am very afraid of theirfurther actions; Ileftmy pictures there, who knows what her to cause might family husband’s her danger the about thought she that said she then But own. that she referred to the social insecurity she was in as she didn’t have job and placetold to me live how she worried aboutof her herfuture and the future of her child after divorce. I first assumed always hadthe problems and conflicts with him neveras loved her husband. that said also she However, husband. her and her between problems those caused that power intangible the by problems her explained and her predicted teller fortune the what presented she Thus, herhusband. with problems encountered when a “fortuneteller” addressed to herof bride-kidnappingbut shifted one tothe she sawmore Marzhan appropriate. said she that was intangible. She did not finish her thought about her mother’s difficult position at the moment Another interviewed woman, Maya, said that also had a boyfriend when she was bride- was she when a boyfriend had also that said Maya, woman, interviewed Another example, for Aigerim beyond. the of power the about talked who Marzhan only not was It that in something bride-kidnapper a of family in the staying her of reason the saw Marzhan 31 CEU eTD Collection stay in the family of a bride-kidnapper or“wish” to be bride-kidnapped. would be discussed that factors other many are There blurred. is two between in border the and the defined strictly not is subsequent bride-kidnapping chaptersnon-consensual and consensual between difference The that marriage. of discourse have an influence on women’sin isthe that relevant factor, age for example, factors, other bysome influenced were with them decisionhappen would it that knew who towomen those even However, unexpectedness. absolute an was it consensual bride-kidnapping. women they Some knew that would bebride-kidnapped for others impossiblefind itdraw the border and themin to differentiate non- ofconsensual and terms plans for her life as well as her own boyfriend but it all remained in the past. and whyshestay agreed to in the family a bride-kidnapper.of Shejust said that she had other When I look back at the cases of bride-kidnapping I encountered during backWhenmy interviews, Iencountered look cases I bride-kidnapping atthe I of 32 CEU eTD Collection of kinship assistance among the relatives is. Hanks emphasizes the status of marriage as one of as one marriage of status the emphasizes is. Hanks relatives the among assistance of kinship social financial (Hanksand support” 2005,235).He howexplains strong and role significantthe Hanks, to these kinship based relationships marriages“a andblood serve ties on of as network kinshiplives inrelationships the Kazakhs alongof people with Asia.other Central of According Marriage after and before Relationships Parents 4.1 Children/ Kazakhstan itsystem andhow of onthe act reflects bride-kidnapping. of kinship patrilineal inthe woman a married to assigned is role what explain to try I child. male There is special focus on the women’s status she gets after she gets married and gives a birth a to pointbeforemarried. livesand families change women’s in and get their positions the they after not always have a choice in the “construction” of their marriages. I demonstrate how and at what personal lives. ofbride-kidnapping, inthe Thus, particularly women couples, the discourse do their of arrangement in the factors influential the of one as parents their on dependency life-long marriages and family as an essential cell of the societalarranging in role relationship kinship of subchapters whichthe tackle comprisestwo chapter body. I emphasize the role of children’s and elderly relatives. The different roles are assigned to women and men within this system. This to theirchildren parents demonstrate respect marriage. the explain relationships These and after “Man makesthe traditions, woman passes them on” (Lubin1981, 182). Marriages Chapter 4- Roles of Kinship Relations in Arranging Reuel R. Hanks (2005) in discussing Central Asian societies, highlights the importance of In this Ished chapter, light relationshipsthe on children between and before their parents 33 CEU eTD Collection decisions and their “freedom of choice”. Even after they emerge from their adolescence and adolescence their from emerge they after Even choice”. of “freedom their and decisions dependency children of however,on their parents, limits children’s makecapacity independentto nurtured to becomefuture thesupport for the parents (Poliakov 1992, 53).This life-long a result, children stay and parents each on dependent duringother theirlives. Children whole are As above. presented one asthe looks scenario common the but cases, particular of circumstances the on depending options other are There ones. husbands’ their join to own her of family even on the same territoryto separate wheremove others places. and parents the the with stays usually one parent’s youngest the These family, the in sons more or two places house are is.usually Thus, situated it theiris parents; they women’sstay notwith their own familiesfar and inherit from everythingduty afterwards. the When there to arehouse leavemanifested forKazakhmen supposed toleave differently Menarenot and women. home the of of theirthe parents or This phenomenon also explains the life-longchildren-parents dependency. This dependency is a in oldermembersthe family structure. the take of families specialposition of the hierarchy the Kazakh society. The younger generations obey the older ones throughout their whole lives. Thus, maritalbuilton and blood relationships within discourse the of bride-kidnapping. integral part in the construction of the Kazakh families, Iintend to analyse the role of kinship ties hisneed”ismarriage, Since of in relatives considered (Cheng 2001,65). an times assuch, of andthenetwork can drawon his resources havingthe of Heknowshe relatives. the support the family; “as a result of the ties of marriage(2005, 236). Cheng also discusses kinship ties andKazakhsof as a key elementkinship,in the construction of a Kazakh man can alwaysthe counttools on to reinforce the significance of the family in the Kazak lives and extend kinship ties As it was mentioned earlier, the role of kinship is very important in the lives of the of lives in the important very is kinship of role the earlier, mentioned was it As 34 CEU eTD Collection 3 since pre-Soviet the some extent to changed bride of the status contemporary The actual choice. have not bride any where the did parents, bythe arranged werecompletely marriages Those young people the themselves. between families ratherthan of couple was aunion the the between Sholpan are. in relationships mainthese whothe actors determine is relationships theis mayinfluence practice What ofbride-kidnapping. important, too, to kinshipwhatextent to Idetermine stories, life incorporating these By narrated experiences. interviewees’ my of analysis an present will I bride-kidnapping, of framework in the parents chapter. are,Ianalyse in families following the patrilineal after they getimportant for Kazakhs. Parents play significant roles in the livesmarried. of their children both before and much on couple’sthe Thisparents. dependency is explained by kinshiptiesthe are very that How different i.e.it both participants,sides, thatbrideunion depends relatives andthe a of remains groom, those roles for male history. marriage,the perceive throughout of asthe which oldconsiderably changed pattern andthey what follow to attempt people femaleKazakh the but nowadays, different be may marriage children of The insituation discourse 2005,236). the (Hanks contemporary couple reachedadolescence within the the before arranged been hadtraditionally marriages the that claims times. Hanks earliest the It is vividly reflected in one of the most important events of children’s lives, i.e. marriage.decisions. and opinion parents’ their on dependent and influenced still are they life, “adult” enter For additional information, see the section“Introduction to the interviewees’ life stories” The first story is about the bride-kidnapping experience of Aigerim and her mother her and Aigerim of experience bride-kidnapping the about is story first The betweenchildren and dependency andlife-long demonstrate rolethe ties of kinship To its from all of andefforts contributions involves marriage contemporary that Despite since Kazakhs the for phenomenon acommon been have parents by arranged Marriages 3 . According to them, at the time of their grandparents, the practice of bride-kidnapping of practice the grandparents, their of time the them, at to . According 35 CEU eTD Collection Poliakov characterizing married women of Central Asia states that “the standards of behavior for behavior of “the standards that Asia states of Central women married Poliakov characterizing career. and her in of education for example, in terms life of awoman, the make major decisions manifeststheirspouses. This in dependency his itself powerof husband family andthe the to for husband future define their appropriate the daughters. who they are those as as well, parents by their determined very lifeoften marital is future Their “career.” and education of in their terms their parents on dependant are completely they married, his get her husband family.Before women parents; it and dependency simply this transfers to theiragainst preventBut this not factdoes parents’ dependency women’swish. further on bride-kidnapping“willingly” or actof exclude the notexperience whenwomen I do cases the inclinedreturn her to back. more they are for their couple daughter, considerbe an appropriate groom the not parents do families. Ithappens becauseusually not of a woman’s wish butthe wish ofher If parents. the their goback to to agree probably most would women why was thereason interesting part bride-women’s frequency the they hardly return, of any could most The remember cases. about Sholpan and Aigerim asked I when However, return. to “choice” a gets she when moment kidnapper. Theybride- the of family in the her see to come come family woman’s to bride-kidnapped the of seemembers her and some ask event, this During if bride-kidnapping. sheof act the after “wants”happens that event the meant she to stay in the new family.consent of a woman is one of the components ofbride-kidnapping This ritual.By consent of a woman is the bride-kidnappingmanifestsBy telling practice howthe of itself nowadays,said the that Sholpan time. in late post-Soviet the appeared change this interviewees, the to time. According and Soviet After getting married, women become dependent on the husbands and the families of families the and husbands the on dependent become women married, getting After However, influential. very is bride-kidnapping of act in the parents of authority the Thus, 36 CEU eTD Collection “divorce”. As she explains further: As sheexplains “divorce”. in factor her adeterminate became asaresult, whoseactions, mother-in-law, her on dependent 5 not change though. The husbands’ parents still stay the main body of the family with theirstatus strict, butof still takeauthority. place especially the in families living in rural areas. The respect obedience and to the parents did houses. The daily their traditional in guests ritualshave likethey when servingand tea to the husbandmarried and get they his parents or after weeks household first duties only became kerchief less wear to expected are nowadays 4 wasin that house hermove husband’s to to had but marriage the before city in the lived She bride-kidnapping. of act the about beforehand i.e. she knew information of and details life. She“voluntary” her personal bride-kidnapped, was intoinsight this dependency. phenomenon is men’s dependency on his opinion. parents’ Thefollowing example provides an One another, then of 1992, 54). of bepeaceful” explanations (Poliakov the this homethe will one like women two the “If much. mother husband’s her and bride the between relationship parents his and husband the to obedience and relatives elderly the to respect women’s express that tofollowexpected includesmanytraditional like components rituals wearing traditional clothes, home without her husband’”married best defined women that‘agoodare by woman postulate the is and silent neverleaves (Poliakov 1992, 83). A set of behavior that married women are However, this set of behavior changed, according to the interviewees’ opinions. All of them noticed that women that noticed of them All opinions. interviewees’ the to according changed, of behavior set this However, Aul is the place that refers to the rural area, similar to the meaning ofvillage. meaning to the similar area, rural the to refers that place isthe 4 worse, when they knew I was expecting a girl. They (my husband and his and husband (my They girl. a expecting was I knew they when worse, even got pregnant, got I after even change not did relationship Our mother. Weof mother.hislot had of happening his quarrels a becauseof were that However, myhusband’s towardsme attitude waschanging under theinfluence get new the environment. usedto kepthousehold to and tried do. I the haveto do, likedid Iwassupposedto everything traditional all those women duties do I hadthat. my to that parents year so my lastpay foreducation, of to refused Murat marriednot me, the shegirl found for him. From beginning, very the she accept that not She could my marriage. in of main success the the obstacles oneof was My mother-in-law successful, unfortunately. My marriage wasnot Aigerim Aigerim had an unpleasantbride-kidnapping experiencebut still shared much , especially to mothers-in-law. Thus, the success of the couple’s family depends on the aul 5 . According to Aigerim,marriage wasmostly . According to her 37 CEU eTD Collection and her family. ex-husband her both of interference the without living independent her start to Aigerim allow not in the third chapter as one of the consequences of their marriage. oftheir consequences ofthe one as chapter third the in 6 experience work or education of level insufficient i.e. insecurity, Social again. family natal her to belonged immediately she husband, her of family the lest she as soon As woman. married livenot beinghad idea after she independently theexperience awoman a of even that did meimplied the interestit to as became special Thisfact of their daughter. about care and concern with her child alone. However, her parents did not give her permission doto that expressing their ifaccept bride-kidnappingis even it of one against parties’the will. returns. Bride-kidnapped she if of woman” a “dirty the status gets and a virgin” anymore “not is considered The woman women and their leave occur. forof whentheact awoman family bride-kidnapping unacceptable thegroom’s to parents are aware of suchdecision. consequences and herself,try but were a result of the stigmato and difficulties she was afraid to face in making such a As thisall decision However, life. her in hardest the was bride-kidnappedfamily washusband’s the leave to not decision the daughter, her conditioned by her warmfemale child. Having experienced difficult times feelingsthat reflected on the poor health Aigerimof and to her husband,daughter, her husband and hisfamily made herleave theirhouse reproaching herfor having a aswomen Aigerim confessedher birth to After shegave a doctor. and city consult the backmadeher to go her that pregnancy and their families acknowledged, it is almost The lack of education and work experience for most of my interviewees who were bride-kidnapped wasdiscussed bride-kidnapped were who of my interviewees most for experience work and of education lack The After separating from her husband, Aigerim decided to live separately from from toliveher Aigerim herAfterhusband, from separating decided separately parents to a threat about learned she until family husband’s her with live to continued Aigerim some never happened. change,expected that panicnot and times, house me butIdid of several turn the mother) out tried to 38 6 did CEU eTD Collection children’s responsibility makingand decision totheir parents. argument life-longof their which dependency in shifting children’s very on parents, often results the underpins example This mother. his on but husband the on not dependent mostly were quarrels. Thus,Aigerim’s story decisionsshows howserious concerning anofficial marriage allowed Aigerim’s husband andhis make family to herleave any theyhadtime problems or later ordoes nothappen at all as in Aigerim’s case. The fact that they were notmarried officially much happen can a marriage of registration official and ceremony official the whereas woman makeallow usto itstealing of a official,bride-kidnapping presupposes act The asaresult”. about our official marriage registration, he told me to ask his mother. My mother-in-law did not Aigerim “WhenIaskedhim get married replied, not officially, reasonof about the why they did official an call question To the marriage”. “traditional to after their state the with registered not had asthey one, difficult was which divorce, their to led her towards mother-in-law Aigerim’s influence of hismother. He became rude and indifferent to his wife. This and negative attitude of changedAigerim, awhilehis underthe after However,accordingattitude to before act. the as her asgood washappyand treated husband her bride-kidnapping, Aigerim’s agree. After her to made “love” his careand that said also last. Aigerim at bride-kidnapping actof to the and did much proveto hislove Aigerim.to She did notreciprocate his affection, however agreedher to attentive very was he married, got they Before mother-in-law. her of influence the under his towardsAigerimhusbandhishow dependentvaried mother attitude also wason her since The dependency of a man on his family is significant as well. Aigerim’s story displayed story Aigerim’s well. as significant is family his on man a of dependency The 39 CEU eTD Collection the family, where she was born, after she gets married to a family that is of her future husband. is herfuture of a family that to married shegets after born, she was where family,the is born into his family and a member through his whole life, whereas a woman is separatedfathers’ households.from Similarly to what I have already discussed before, a man in Chinese families families. patrilineal within women of role the understand help to intended is analysis one.This Kazakhpatrilineal the to isit similar because system the Chinese Taiwan. Icite in families Chinese of example the on based system kinship patrilineal of pattern this of analysis functioningKazakh IintroduceMargery Wolf’s the contextof within family, (2003 [1972]) and McCurdy 2003, 213).Tounderstand is howthis structure formed andits mechanism of (Spradley husbands” the from descent children their but line, father’s their of part are “females definition such systems isexplainedof relatives when malesare linkedthrough only and within occur. processes kinship structure these which the examine to necessary is it act, in this involved actors other with along bride-kidnapping in occupies she role the and woman elderly an of role the understand To Poliakov. to according arranging aman’sis by mother wedding groom’s the for all Asiancharacteristic Central societies best what has to be done’.” (Poliakov 1992, 53)This general of principle choosing abride and man, influencedand principle tastes desiresof youngthe by ‘your eldersknow the on that the way no in is bride the chooses who relative female the or mother The be elderly… must who female relatives, by alive, closest of the ifone not or, she is by mother, the is a bride undertaken Descent Patrilineal of Rules the within Women of Elderly status” “High 4.2 The Women in Kazakhstan as well as in China are considered “temporary members” of their of members” “temporary considered are in China as well as Kazakhstan in Women The general descent. ofpatrilineal follows therules of Kazakhs the structure The kinship Poliakov,Asian familystructures,for explainsthat“the Central discussing search active 40 CEU eTD Collection to stay in the family herof bride-kidnapper. She did notknow the kidnapper and said that the act in decision mother-in-law the her role the of highlighted Almira, bride-kidnapping. experience of children.the of makes inthefamily of majorthefuture most the concerning significant place and decisions a occupies woman elder The families. interviewees’ in all significant very was woman to my intervieweesbelow. back Irefer families, Kazakh of in context the better it understand changes.To herstatus stage, this At family. their enters bride son’s her when unit that supporting on work to continues still givingbirth amale to childandbringinghim up tothe status of a married man.Afterward, she contribute to its continuity though. This contribution is a long lasting process that starts with members of that family usually refuse acceptto them. Thisis the unitwhere they are expected to natal families after they get married, they still keep close ties with theirmothers. their to belong not do women that Despite representatives. family the as mothers their with only wereconducted interviews women.the Even in bride-kidnapped with interviews the manifested from the officialmother remain themostlasting. Thesame happens withKazakh families, young women separate ties with theoneswith split, whereas father her are with ties” “official her married, awoman When gets fathers later. one another to belong will she as continuity its aftermaintaining in importance or necessity they get marriedmemberin her family “father’s affects herattitude toward it” (Wolf 2003, 242).She notfeel does but not irrelevantand of thatthe unmarriedstatus a temporary woman’s states inherarticleWolf with mothers. This is also In regard,Iwouldthis like topresentanother interview that Almira’s describes After conducting all the interviews, I found that the role of a mother-in-law or an elderly other where husband her of family the to move women the ceremony, wedding the After 41 CEU eTD Collection very significant during the act of bride-kidnapping and afterwards. It is usually the mother of a mother of is the It usually andafterwards. bride-kidnapping of act the during significant very of living together with her husband. months six escape after her led to newfamily inthe scandals constant and This pressure mother. even more unbearable as she was accused by her husband and his elder sister in the death of their life became Almira’s herdeath, after her However, decision. andnevershe wouldAlmira regret persuadeto the bridestay to Almirapromising her and relatives thatshe wouldbe amother to several asshe times was aneighbor of friend.hisAfter this groom’sthe act, mother didherbest found in kidnapping any hegirl liked. The bride-kidnapper didknow Almira not butsawher 7 age his early inspite of son’s marriage her on insisted had and ill was mother-in-law her that later learned Almira family. groom’s the mother. own her for hope was no sheknewthere once persuasion mother-in-law’s based on her madeherdecision Almira Interestingly, decision.” right the made have probably most would I me, with were she If city. another in was mother My with. consult to anyone have not did “I added, She family. groom’s bride-kidnapping. Almira admitted that it was an influential factor in her decision not to leave the her of day the on city the in not was mother Almira’s leave. to her allow not did who ladies old ten Therewerealso around stay in mother. her groom’s wasthe to newfamily, persuading the in by firsthouse surrounded person, whopersistent The most unknown wasthe people. consciousness afterwards. Almira only remembered how she up woke nextthe day in a new haveasked herto else rememberanything lostnot awalkwith him. She asshe her did who street in the neighbor friend’s her met Almira way. in aviolent occurred bride-kidnapping if Almira’s husband, Askarwas 18 when he got married. Almira was 16 at that time. All six interviewees and their mothers highlighted that the role of mothers-in-law was mothers-in-law of role the that highlighted mothers their and interviewees six All Almira’s mother-in-law died 20daysafter act the of bride-kidnapping andshe stayedin 7 . The quickest andmost appropriate way of doing it, they 42 CEU eTD Collection further: in detail how she remembered the day her daughter’sof bride-kidnapping. AsBibigul explained his family. However, her own mother was strongly againsther daughter’s decision. Bibigul told stay with to ready andwas husband-to-be her she knew act: “voluntary” fairly itwas a that that said bride-kidnapping.of She act the during parents her own problems with Indiraencountered tendency. mother this noticed Bibigul,Ialso her Indira anotherstory where and of incorporate families, occupy ina privileged position structure the hierarchal of family.the Iwould like to bride’s decision to stay with the groom’s family: her role groom Almira’s, wheretheof mother in again adeterminate prospective played the whose task is to persuade groom daughter-in-lawwho arrival organizes everything the for herisfuture she theone and of a bride to stay. Aigerim, for example, described a story similar to agree to that marriage, and we did what she whatmarriage, said. and wedid to that agree mother-in-law decided wholethe night, wedidn’t what know todo, butearly in the morning, my We cried that problem. the to wea solution find had to village the from to meetmother-in-law my guests (relativesi.e. grandmother, Indira’s life. weinvited herfuture Then, about perspectives of the groom) and accept thegroom hisand young, family.many was too wehad and She so want not to andwedid marriage, about Indira’s family very of upset our were she was andpersistent in stayed family the bride-kidnapper.the of All members aboutmake herbride-kidnapping.We tried to hergoback, but evenforcefully knew I after right Indira to talk to my son with family groom’s the to went I Most of the stories show that women of elderly age, i.e. thosemy to mom.of respect whoout arestayed she that the decision final her in oldest added she how remember I in family. our the family liked her. It took her a while to think itintomy herhands. But mother her much came then, and said how up to overour before she agreed to stay in to her; she notdid want tolisten us.to [She was] throwing everything that came act, crying, and shouting how much expressing me.she hated Noonecould talk my friend and Ihelped him kidnapto her. Shewas hysterically furiousmy at was She my for brother. my sister-in-law of bride-kidnapping inthe I assisted 43 CEU eTD Collection gender roles that are described above, it emphasizes the age as a factor to subdivide roles. these factor to theageasa itemphasizes above, are described that gender roles practice. reinforce who this ones the women’s responsibility in maintaining this patrilineal system. Thisis the reason why women are external affair. Thus, men do notneed dealto with the organization bride-kidnapping. of is It the is an internal affair. Men deal only with the financial aspect of bride-kidnapping since itis an of discourse bride-kidnapping, women with organizationaldeal of the practicethis aspect since it affairs” such as building andmaintaining the house, ensuringfinancial security, In etc. the as running the in chores house,the raising Men, children, etc. however, deal “external with for her. system determines patrilineal the that is woman of one her responsibilities elderly family’s the being and son her for bride-kidnapping Arranging ties. those strengthen continuity whatisneeded a for tosupport expected Women are ties those significantly. to contributes of a man’s awoman when moment isthe This his son. through his ties building kinship.he starts married, gets Once she accomplishes status of house. andrespectedmotherof the an elderly this womenthe happens those get practices when in them. and This thereby reinforce those arranging responsibility, disturbingthisact of bride-kidnapping entails,participate practice procedures accompanying and the go through who women, the Asshe aresult, family. the of members by all with respect accepted continuesis Herdecision for generation. younger the makes thedecisions of who a person status the to The patrilineal system from additionally. system inThe Apart having age Kazakhstan patrilineal respects the such family the of affairs “internal” with deal to women elderly the positions system The he Once life. his of periods different in family in the varies also man a of position The has she as family in the significant very is woman elder the of opinion the Interestingly, 44 CEU eTD Collection that influenced the practice of bride-kidnapping from influencedthat of thepractice timebride-kidnapping pre-Sovietthe tomodernity. is important frameworks. toview It law of changes state public thepolitical the also sphere and i.e. ishowkidnapping, theritual sphere, the positionedwithin the examine public within Iwould bride- of further analysis the To privatesphere. the to isreferred areawhich upon the touched kidnapping. of bride-kidnapping asitallows its tocontribute main actors to their ties kinship viabride- family ismales typical for and especially males. older This pattern kinship sustains the practice general. patternof Thepresented patrilineal system is in patriarchal The fact. authority in the patrilineal is kinship system important very in discourse the of bride-kidnapping andmarriage, in The system. this to loyalty her prove to methods the of is one bride-kidnapping in responsibility and participation men’s active of ties. Her continuity to the woman as hercontribution system, elderlypresuppose women’s independency and inautonomy.Nonetheless, the patrilineal kinship women of the tothissubjected dependency the statusin Kazakh of as women’s does notthe thinking pattern family taketheir a special children, position. whati.e. the whatfuture ofto This theirstudy, childposition willwhere be. Parentsto live,is usuallyassignedyounger ones,for example, theirwhom children. make tothe marry.major to decisionsa issuesof deal with to right them the gives This reverence are revered. people older As aresult, The inwomen the lives are of more often By viewingbride-kidnapping discourse offamily within the relations I and kinship define get to are isandwhoChildren’s life-longparents often those dependency evident 45 CEU eTD Collection fundamental right of free men. rightof free fundamental Marriage is something more thanacivilcontract subject toregulation by the state; itis a Framework of Politics and State Power Chapter 5-The position of Bride-kidnapping within the practice of bride-kidnapping inpractice ofbride-kidnapping works whothe of discuss scholars andit. study in the goback is to Iwouldtoandremindhow thisrelation process presented states, like first independent to socialist the from transformation of process the throughout bride-kidnapping, hidden behind practicethe what ofbride-kidnapping and this practice meansfor people. be can what clarify to intend chapter in this presented analysis and questions These Kazakhs? of in thelives occupy this practice does place What underwent? practice that see thechange role of traditionalism discourse in relation to the practice of bride-kidnapping? How do people is it? What bythepeopleviewed andwheredothey islocate bride-kidnapping the the of practice The questions that are of my concern in the present chapter can be formulated as following. How I presentkidnapping. position state’s in so,the doing By actofbride-kidnapping. the relation to and political level influenced the development ofbride-kidnapping in Kazakhstan. thesocietal on changes those I explore how societies, independent tothe transformation states’ on those whoi.e. women, on reflected wereit how and underwent it changes what direct history, the throughout evolved subjects of that practice.reveal howthis practice isto ofanalysis this purpose Union. The Soviet of collapse the the after By presenting this wider context of social To further with the discussion of the state involvement and changes in the practice of I seek to understand and determine the role of the state in the discourse bride-kidnappingbefore and actof the an practicing Ipresent of overview In thischapter of bride- (Schwelb 1963,337) 46 CEU eTD Collection discussing the works of Massell, Werner illustrates that the Soviet state introduced “radical introduced state Soviet the that illustrates Werner of Massell, works discussing the For example, related issues. tothese works authors’ other adetailedof and review gives Cynthia Werner(2004)examines ofbride-kidnapping practice the of inthecontext Kazakhstan modern societies. of construction the on wasoriented ideology which Soviet the contradicted 1995,marriage” (Olcott 172). This law assisted in restriction traditionalof those that practices forced marriage, or forced polygamy of paymentkalym, for labor the yearathard 40 days toone of “provided sentences and time during inKazakhstan theSoviet was introduced that civil code a special outlines lives, Kazakhs’ of overview historical a giving Olcott, Brill Martha example, examine thoroughly situation the of political change afteracquisition the independence.of For in time. Soviet were restricted the that practices” time. She referswere forbiddenlimited and duringthe Soviet practices Sovietthe Union of thecollapse that after bride-kidnappingCentral Asian societies. Among those changes she underscores the reemergence of the traditional and otheritwere “eitherpeculiar orrenderedinvisible” to destroyed 261). (Shirin 1997, marital practicesmodernity” Sheclaimsand rule. thattraditional practices Soviet (Shirin1997,261)under culture to of process intensive “an underwent societies Asian all Central that out pointed She common. the list of in much thathad societies thelife of style those highlighted periods, and Soviet post-Soviet the “traditional during pre-Soviet, Asianstates forCentral example, Shirin discussing states. Akiner(1997), Central Asia. They outlinepolitical the changes andtransformation processes that were peculiar forthat all Central collapse Asian of the Soviet Union brought, refer to all countries of Other authors orient their studies specifically to a particular country of Central Asia and all peculiarto post-Soviet the (2005)alsochanges outlines Yvonne Corcoran-Nantes Some of the authors (Akiner, Poliakov, Corcoran-Nantes), discussing the process of 47 CEU eTD Collection tradition, which is taken as a normal phenomenon. All the interviewees referred to bride- to referred interviewees the All phenomenon. normal a as is taken which tradition, Soviet Union. Asit out,turned theis present practice widespread inthe society as accepted and a interviewees’ practicingopinion about of bride-kidnappingbefore and collapse the after of the nowadays. is from one the that practised time Soviet Hence, Ifounditstudy relevant to how different thebride-kidnapping practice of was the during identities traditionsandold of resurgence customs and policies.of whichbecame new state part independentled construction state tothe entailed national one of changesthat the to unifying Werner (2004, 63), forstates. in post-Soviet the transformation political result of asthe changeoccurred tothe related example, outlines that the process of transformationwomen. (Werner 2004,65) Asian Central to unemployment and from helplessness of sense hardships, theeconomical brought socialist one independent the to state socialist from the transformation of political process the However, life. societal in the involvement political women’s increase and sustain to supposed were that changes werepolitical There regime. socialistunder the been absent tohave was said ‘freedom’ towards was primarily oriented that of democratization The process entailed. countries Soviet democratization mainly transition bride-kidnappingto changewhich the post- of the through adds its collapse.she alsothey after that reemerged again shows howthe liketraditional practices bride-kidnapping in wererestricted but Sovietthe period Thus, she marriage practices” outlawed 2004,63). girls(Werner patriarchal bypassing lawsthat social basedpolicies ideology….on Marxist Bolshevik the lawtriedtowiden path the Kazakh of To learn bride-kidnapping the frequency moreTo nowadays,practice about Iaskedthe of is society Kazakh post-socialist the in practice bride-kidnapping of The resurgence discussedMost of works the aboveandin approach previousthe chapters issuethe of 48 CEU eTD Collection 8 indicates her“willing” that of consent write aletter to is brideagree. The supposed not she does However, this procedure is often symbolic, as women make the bride putto on a kerchief even if stay. to her agreement of asan indication bride the on a white kerchief put These relatives his relatives. After that sheis placed in a separate room with other female relatives of the groom. A andhis house,a similar abride i.e.scenario. herto bride-kidnaps brings groom houseof tothe actof kidnapping unchangeable.happens Generally,according to the bride-kidnapping remained family. immediate groom’s the of members only were there that in away simplified for bridewere waiting the ceremony. andmakingpreparationsforher case,it the was more In components of the old housebride-kidnapping after bride-kidnapping ritual telling herstory bride-kidnappingof when remembered that herhusband first broughtherthere tohis werewas no relativesthe presence waitingFor example,Aigul fewersimplified in sensethatitand ceremonies. required procedures the forof them.the groom’sShe said that relatives, one of modern world.the interviewees contemporary All agreedthat the bride-kidnapping was the the who to nowadays, as adjustment an itself differently manifested “tradition” that this acknowledged as respect and aretraditions cherished nurtured byall members.its thatrequires something in society as be Kazakh the anchored to seems Thisgranted. practice society inKazakh practice it was avery common that had opinion asimilar of the Kazakh culture. When the interviewees were asked about the frequency of this act, they all and ancestors was inherited from remainsapart the tradition kidnappingpart of that old the asa By Kazakh society I refer to the ethnic Kazakhs that lived on the territory of Kazakhstan. However, Aigul said that the mechanism of the events related to the act ofbride- tothe related events mechanismthe of that the said Aigul However, history, throughout underwent practice this changes the on reflecting interviewees, The 49 8 and was taken for CEU eTD Collection kidnapper. Idiscuss it in details later inthe present chapter. 9 2000, 187)within framework of the politics‘postsocialist’ in Throughout West.the her analysis, (Watson freedom” presence–absence of the of “interms constructions viewed asoppositional inequality in both resided systems.the Watson shows communism how and democracy are sexual and social that suggests and regimes post-socialist and socialist the she compares its active practice. to testified lived then people who those time, Soviet during the state by the was this practice restricted Kazakh traditions during pre-socialist, socialist and post-socialist time. Thus, nomatter how time aninseparableAll aswell. interviewees bride-kidnapping was part of agreedthat the women andtheirfamilies showedthat bride-kidnapping wasactively Sovietthe duringpractised have earlier. but the main mechanism of notdoes procedures significantly vary from one the people used to history practice seems slightly my interviewees the storieschanged of that throughout though.It in the was present all of The letter consent case. variationsa particular dependingon some in leave her the family of bride-kidnapper. If herthe hershe agrees,parents parents. with home return and word” her say “to moment that at chance a has she stay, to want not does marriage and go with them to visit their daughter and askher opinion about that act. If the bride against the if thearenot guests accept the The relatives bride-kidnapping. actof the about relatives go to the relatives stay family inagreement groom the to the of of the bride with the letter of consent from her to let them know The letterof consent is just a nominal indication of bride-kidnapped woman’s will to stay in the family of a bride- where “Rethinking transition” (2000) in Watson’s claim findingPeggy This underpins bride-kidnapped of interviews the on based research the of results the addition, In with of events order a similar had by myinterviews were shared that stories Thus, those 9 50 . When the agreement is grooms’ the . When the agreement accepted, CEU eTD Collection real change and make the present situation of women more favorable for women’s inclusion inclusion more forwomen’s and favorable real presentsituation andmake women of change the bride-kidnapping through considerationthe of all disturbing elementsitcomprises may bring the of reassessment from socialism. The be change the theconsequenceof considered, cannot not situation inequality,of sexual and social issues” “women’s where (such asbride kidnapping)are peoples of Kazakhstan throughout all the periods in its different manifestations. Thus, the present of the was part It society. theKazakh of history in the time of periods particular of practice women’s oppression was relevant toboth. and male dominated were systems as both bride-kidnapping, of practice the affect not didone independent the to state socialist the from transformation of result the was that change the Thus, itsitbefore collapse. Soviet andthe after time, during bride-kidnappingpractice waspractised of practised by people butin form.a hidden This my analysis of interviewees’ stories show the that life were restricted from women’s public exclusion tothe that contributed always practices The evident. were not officially womenrestricted from their in active participation publicfor example life, bride-kidnapping, long-established tendency somewhich at was hidden periods of by andtime practices the thus, that the state but not eradicatedin time.bewas said Soviet absentthe to freedom, that around is oriented independence in of acquisition the around nowadays is that articulated discourse the that emphasizes fact. They as “entailing 2000,199)She ‘freedom wasnone.(Watson expression’ whereof oncethere remained to transparency,‘lift opportunity the to curtain’”the 2000,199).Democracy (Watson is constructed be ispersistently “providing (Watson 2000,198)andwheredemocracy seen the that as recurs” visible’ ‘making verb “the is era postcommunist in the change political main the that shows she The outcome of the research also showed that the practice of bride-kidnapping was not a wasnot bride-kidnapping the of practice that showed research also the The outcome of Watson’s analysis demonstrates how women’s exclusion from the public realm was a 51 CEU eTD Collection women to the assigns in chapter was the previous in discussed that patrilineal system kinship general. The positions of marriage discourse butthe only of bride-kidnapping concern discourse not the public lifedoes where theythemselves orinmany somewhereinhighworking workingat anyspherepositions of cases are viewedsee womennot factdo that That life plans. a partof nottheir careerwas through goals as mothersapplyingabout their something education to in professionalthe Achievingworld. professional of the sonsalone divorce. Women’s the after goalsultimate weretogethigher education nobut onethought rather her with child insecure who stayed financially Aigerim for example, life,faced reality they the of than activeget job agood to but careerafterfinishing only wanted women hereducation. Some after good mentioned future the wanted tofind for perspectives thatplans a before bride-kidnapping or choice”. “women’sfreedom of space to donot leave usually that contains theprocedures women. It married the to assigned roles” “traditional reinforce the to serves bride-kidnapping However, marriage in of isgeneral. discourse woman tothe married of applied a This common pattern mostly. will husband’s her on life depends career further her Moreover, experience. professional professionally herwhen children failget older becauseagain of lackthe of educational and torealize herself efforts further herfamily. herselfThus, tothe children anddevote birth to inprofessionals a sphere. After beingparticular awoman is give bride-kidnapped, to supposed high Itdeprivesschool. themfrom further opportunity the their to become education and sphere. of actors that tobecome active theirlimits chances life and in life.participation women’s ofbride-kidnappingpublic Thepractice accesstopublic prevents Interestingly, women none ofthe interviewed bride-kidnapped tellingwhile abouttheir finish before they even in cases some early ages, at bride-kidnapped areusually Women 52 CEU eTD Collection South Kazakhstan region among Uzbeks and Uighurs. It must be stressed that bride-kidnappingbe that It must stressed Kazakhstan region andUighurs. Uzbeks among South in example, too,for the ethnic by groups beother practised came to this practice region. Hence, in that living groups ethnic other concerned it that extent an such to Kazakhstan in South adopted society. Kazakh membersof the the notsurprised about cases of women’s kidnapping as this phenomenon is accepted as a “norm” by are People “adult” life. of daughter’s atanymoment andtheir anticipated was takenfor granted bride-kidnapping seemed of practice the me. that It surprising to bride-kidnapping seemed about search for wasIsupposed how Where her?” to and relatives. waited thevisitof groom’s the until I “No, workplace, replied, she find heratthe When kidnapped.I askedher tosearch she she hadtried for whether herdaughterafter didn’t bride- was daughter her that guess first her was it that said she school, high finished recently and come didher not Despiteherjust daughter backhome work. that in daughterwas after 18 time it bride-kidnapping,interviewees,when her daughter’s saidthatshe tellingstory the expected of lives by both women’s families and women themselves. For example, Aigul’s mother, one of my women’s in Kazakh event expected an is considered bride-kidnapping that learn to interesting is it stories, interviewees’ back the Referring to for theKazakh community. very common practice Society Kazakh inContemporary ofBride-kidnapping Frequency 5.1 The sustains “women’s withinoppression” framework widerthe ofmarriage. bride-kidnapping of Thus, practice norms. the andmakethem tothese assignedroles contributes mentioned before, I bride-kidnapping, as of practice world. The ofthe professional participants Besides the commonality of this practice among ethnic Kazakhs, bride-kidnapping was bride-kidnapping Kazakhs, ethnic among this practice of commonality Besides the isa bride-kidnapping of act the interviewees, all the to time, according present the At 53 That fact that her mother’s first thought was thought her first mother’s factthat That CEU eTD Collection undergo to be happy. A bride-kidnapped woman, according to her, has to confront some disturbing in moments thelife ofhersister ascompulsory womenhavethat components to afterwards. all She found the hercomments of itpractice andherunderstanding through for interviewee, changed better as“shethe hasfive lives children happilynow”.and the to according life, Her sister’s “destiny”. her accepted andstruggles, fights of period itbride-kidnapping,butthey alongat the added thather end.Shealso after all accepted sister, herself sharedthat she foundnormal it most as of women the behaved in a similar wayafter a by protestneglecting her her own baby. took getused threeyears It everything. to to Bibigul husband. Itlasted long quite evenafter she gave birthtoherfirst childexpress she to tried her her somehow to stay. persuaded of bride-kidnapper bride-kidnapped.the relatives The commit she was suicide after She did not feel anytried to resist by all means. Bibigul rememberedbetter that her sister resisted at the beginning, trying to after someitbride-kidnappedher to againstas “involuntary” will -Iwouldrefer bride-kidnapping -and time of living togethermarried in a similar way.As an example, she told the story of her own sister. Bibigul’s sister was with her kidnapped woman and bride kidnapper himself. both sides, therelativesbecomes of that of partof discussions among gossiping bride- the and chance for abride-kidnapped woman herfamily tohideandis whathappened. It an which event is no andthere very is Thequickly, newsspread bride-kidnapped. is a once matter woman Kazakhstan. South besides regions in other partwas not of groups’ those culture and wasnot referredtoorpractised otherwiseas atradition Thus,by Bibigul, her thestory telling revealedof sister, herown attitude thistowards Bibigul, the mother of Indira, for instance, shared that almost all of her relatives had been bride-kidnappingThe frequency high nowadays,andthis becomes isvery of act a public 54 CEU eTD Collection none of the interviews mentioned the discourse of nationalism or referred to bride-kidnapping as bride-kidnapping to referred or nationalism of discourse the mentioned interviews nonethe of in independence andpeople However, more careful became aware of that possible consequences. after became more believerestricted bride-kidnapping actof the that bride-kidnapping. They Bride-kidnapping ofContemporary Discourse the in Effectiveness their and Policies State ofthe Role 5.2 The followingthe subchapter. in is Union discussed after of collapse Soviet the the from state the legalinvolvement towards still did not see protection in the women state practices, marital traditional all restricted lawsthat of Soviet the existence the Despite or were afraid to apply for it. How changed forresistance. options of factpossible unawareness women’s by explainedthat interviewees their attitude interviewee’s The act bride-kidnapping the according Sovietthe experience. the to during timeof resist or return to it difficult seemed Hence, back”. youcan come isno way family; there in his family of the bride-kidnapper. Bibigul added that “If you got married to the guy,you have to stay Soviet time, and Bibigul, according to return womancould bride-kidnapped the and not leave the house.the (Akiner 1997,277) to mother-in-law. She gets her power once she has daughter-in-law a the sonfrom who way the getspass should marrieda woman family, andin the bringsprivileges and his power has wife to married herfamily son gets when in the mother-in-law) (or woman elderly an becomes then and child male a to birth gives who difficulties on her way to “happiness”. Women get their happiness with the status of a mother Interviewees refer to the process of democratization as one of the changes in the practice of in practice asoneof changes the the of democratization process tothe refer Interviewees It is important to noticeIt isimportant to afore-mentioned atthisthe pointthat happened story during the . As it was mentioned before, to become an elderly woman who 55 CEU eTD Collection law for bride-kidnapping. (Werner 2004,60) specific or aparticular create not does legislation Kazakhstan’s bride-kidnapping, consensual” of“non- number of cases a considerable is Despite legal claim caseof kidnapping. the provides punishmentfor bride-kidnapping The directly. law thatmay restrictandbe the basis of that Kazakhstan lawof is no legislation inthe There as such. bride-kidnapping prosecute doesnotofficially The state time. Soviet to the in contrast practices” marriage traditional “therestrict not Kazakhstan does of legislation contemporary time. The from Soviet the changed to thestate for help. turn feel freeto not people did practices, of forms all existedtraditional against time atthat that laws and the restrictions Despite bride-kidnappers. prosecute wasafear to there regime, socialist cases bride-kidnappingof that became possible after the collapse of the Soviet Union. During the knowledge with independence.the According toMariyam,more women aboutalsolegal hear women’s to accessible became ofinformation Manysources etc. England, as America, were informationally limited andisolated from worldthe that wasinformationally such advanced i.e.Whereasduringtelevision. before, Soviet the time,did women and knewnothing asthey choice”. She told me that women knew more about their rights from information they see on public, which limits bride-kidnappers’ andgivesmoreactions “women’s space freedom to of tothe awareness more informational brought her, process this to According independence. after considerably changed had practice the me that told who one the was mother, Aigul’s Mariyam, Union. collapse Soviet of the after bride-kidnapping underwent of changes thepractice the they identity.described their Instead, of national reinforcement tothe contributed that a tradition Nowadays the state’s legal involvement that prosecutes the bride-kidnappers’ actions has prosecutes actions bride-kidnappers’ the that legal involvement Nowadays thestate’s 56 CEU eTD Collection disturbing. very procedure found bride-kidnapping thewhole butstill actof the knew about out of 6 women only that two showed of a woman.research My fullfree consent” “the and to according women isusually not an for an obstacle ofbride-kidnapping.alsoact It notalways does happen marriage.bride-kidnapped age Theearly of notfull agefor reach whodo youngtheir women happens with The widerbride-kidnappingthe framework practice Rights. of usually of Human (Jensen 2003, 9).Thus,and Thornton practice the of bride-kidnapping violateswomen’s in rights Child’” the of Rights the on ‘Convention in the articulated childhood of definition the with the Rights andWelfare of the Child’ suggest aminimum agefor marriage of 18 years, consistent ‘Elimination Allof Forms of Discrimination Against and Women’, the 1990‘African Charter on less no marriage than15years. of a minimum age of establish “to member states asks Recommendation’ anAssociated and Registration and for Marriage Age Marriage, Minimum The 1962Convention ‘Consent to Thornton United Nations' 2003, 9) on the that “Menand spouses”, intending the of and consent full and free the with only into women entered be shall “Marriage of full age...are entitled Rights. Human of conventions international in the stated laws all contradicts to bride-kidnapping equal rights as practicewe cansee of the that marriage andconsent, age at in of especially respect framework, to marriage...” rights human a through bride-kidnapping of practice the examine we If well. as law of discourse (Jensenthe in crucial two these between and difference the consider I part. methodological the in mentioned have been and kidnappingagainst kidnapping.bride-kidnapping already between difference The for law general bride-kidnappingexcept amendments specifically prosecution of concerning Article 16 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, for example, any contain not of does Kazakhstan legislation contemporary the that seemsIt surprising states that 57 The 1979 Convention The 1979Convention on the CEU eTD Collection theirhouse by all means. is This task by realized usually female the relatives of family the and stay in to bride the persuade isto family bride-kidnapper’s of a task the Therefore, police. to the groom’sthe family. brideleavesthe family,If isahighthere the her chance parentswill go that leave and escape can woman the that chance rare is a there a woman kidnap to decide family his recently when several legal wereprosecuted. bride-kidnapping cases of These secure measures were implemented, according to Mariyam, the mother of Aigul, quite “free it will”. However, saves and groom the hisfamily beingfrom suedby bride’sfamily.the letter “Thestaying.of can be consent” hardly indication taken bride-kidnappedas an women’s of isletter both a symbolic non-symbolic and guarantee of bride-kidnapped “voluntary” woman’s by verbal persuasion or in some cases women are forced to write them in case they disagree. This doesclaims, meannot this letter anythingareusuallyas write made them.happenswomen to It interviewees, the of one Aigul, as However, woman. bride-kidnapped the by written consent of letter have a must bride, they of the parents the to come bride-kidnapper the of relatives When the stay in thefamily bride-kidnapper. of is will”a to her “free of anindication letter This bride. the of family the to groom the of relatives the by taken and woman bride-kidnapped ritual of bride-kidnappinginvolves more secure both procedures from groomthe and his family. frequently about cases of legal complaints concerning bride-kidnapping. Thus, the contemporary legal about knew cases of bride-kidnapping or atall cases nowadaysif those theyheard occurred, kidnappingWhereas nowadays. before, i.e. during Sovietthe time,hear they notanythingdid legal bride-kidnapping of thegrowth of consequencesdue to casesconcerning theacts of However, most of the interviewees noticed that bride-kidnappers became more aware of of morebecame the aware bride-kidnappers noticed that interviewees most of the However, What follows from the description of the daughter and her mother is that if the groom and as mentionedOne procedure, I is which such written from is the above, consent taken the 58 CEU eTD Collection one of such adjusted elements thatwasintroduced for bride-kidnapper’s the safety. The present tricks. (Wilensky-Landford 2003, 82) woman wants a particulara man When to marry means. her, she by different starts to advertise bride-kidnapping, ownher availability their encourage for marriagethemselves women throughwhere different cases the discuss kidnapping beforehand. EthanWilensky-Landford in analysishis of practiceof bride- the ofact the bride-kidnapping about in Kyrgyzstan,men the with agree women when cases the to I amreferring practice. bride-kidnapping 10 new the become to conditions accustomed his family, kidnapper and namely bride- the its mainactors, as practice it this alsoreinforces some extent, kidnapper to legal functions on limitssecurity,level. a superficial actionsthough of Even a bride- coercion and resistance women’s bride-kidnapped for space the as viewed seemingly be could which of bride-kidnapperthe any or judiciali.e. hearing, the families agreed between themselves. final arrest the leadto not did which ending similar had a stories The shared time. present to the referred that experience acquaintances’ and their from them relatives’ examples remember could interviewees, the legalwho casestried of bride-kidnappingto bride-kidnap bride-kidnappingmaypreventhelpmencauses. attempts of alsotheone other It by to or other are thenot a womannewof a bride-kidnapped phenomenon woman’s familybut to wipe off the stains that failedthe act of bride-kidnapping nowadays; to the families by “mutualleave agreement”. Hence, the reason allwhy these cases appear at all is the desire of her in hisbetween solved they are typically occur, cases such as after gofar. Surprisingly, not did about family. According to the bride-kidnapping. serves involvement” reinforce practice theAs aresult, of “state’s the to forleave women escaping them. in to chance less but contrast bride-kidnapping practiceof the donotrestrict legalprosecutions Hence, these in actions. family more persuasion their persistent his and the bride-kidnapper makes legal of cases awareness The particularly. mother-in-law However, I do not exclude here the cases when the women themselves or their own families can be equal actors of actors be equal can families own their or themselves women the when cases the here exclude I do not However, Thus, the state’s involvement and its legal defense from the act of bride-kidnapping, of act the from defense legal its and involvement state’s the Thus, heard interviewees the cases legal the interviews, the during out came it as addition, In 59 10 . The letter of consent is consent of letter The . CEU eTD Collection there was no prosecuted waylegally was that to bride-kidnapping hideof act an experienced had itwomen once Hence, from the public. There is a fear and stereotype that of beenshameful” experiences having before. once kidnapped women beingand “unpleasant her of learned he when her beat he actions: violent husband’s her of result the toit asa lostpregnantMariyam marriage.butquickly, herchild“voluntary” Shegot referred as The marriedyear,girl withinbut a also bybride-kidnapping,it. this she “agreed” to time suedher kidnapper, the as she parents wasnot age yet. Theof man andimprisoned. was accused and 16 ageof the at bride-kidnapped whowas a girl was about It relatives. herfrom she heard prosecutions of bride-kidnapping. legal of the resultas the may encounter women whatconsequences demonstrates that later case the Ipresent women’s reputation. the usually for unfavorable whichare consequences, different have can cases These public. the from away cases such keep to try women kidnapped bride- Therefore, kidnapper. sue the may want to who those are woman the of parents the eye, whereas from public the keep ita secret to andprefer experience” “unpleasant this to reveal bride-kidnappers? legal cases against Kazakh society and unwillingness of people toshare their “unpleasant experience”, i.e. pursueto in asatradition isbride-kidnapping between of practice the What theconnection kidnapping? protection at all? What is their attitude towards the state’s involvement into the issues of bride- do legal Wherepeople or of they feel state’s position the like: questions do protection, this analysis involvementof state’s the in issuesthe ofbride-kidnapping give forgrounds anumber The results of the research show that some bride-kidnapped women themselves are unwilling If women or their families sue the bride-kidnapper, itbecomes known to the public. which bride-kidnapping, of case a legal shared example for mother, Aigul’s Mariyam, 60 CEU eTD Collection procedure. When her relatives came to the house of the bride-kidnapper, it turned out that sheit out that turned of bride-kidnapper, the house When tothe came her relatives procedure. any familythe toescape without attempts and waspeacefullyexpecting of the continuation the stay in a bride-kidnapped whoagreedto woman Aigerim’smother,Sholpan,about astory told know. hardly they whom women bride-kidnap sometimes men interviewees, the to According involvement. state or police like measures” “extreme for need no is there and negotiated be can cases such considers Mariyam confusion. bride-kidnapper resultthe happenedof asthe simply it inacrime as bride-kidnapper’s the sheaccusing issue deal was level. wasno there against need to with legal Moreover, on the that confusedher,heraccording Mariyam got ageandkidnapped about that to her. was confident mistakenly, who bride-kidnapper, the Theintervieweedefending was that”. for was punished herafter bride-kidnappinga punishmentfor second “She girl: that experiencewas didwrongand bride-kidnapperhaveeverything suedthatinthefirstplace. She alsoadded thathappened that not should and either actions her from benefit not did girl that that added she story, the to back bride-kidnapping.towards According toher,no one benefits from legal prosecutions. Referring afore-mentionedwasstronglythe legal case bride-kidnapping, anylegalproceedings against of shared Mariyam, who measures. asextreme bride-kidnapping of thelegalprosecution referred to problematic. kidnapped woman and kidnapper himself.makes Thus,it the publicity legalof cases more of bride- the families from the many people of theinvolvement it as necessitates from public the family”.marry “good into a As mentioned, was thecases ofbride-kidnapping be cannot kept bride-kidnapped lose theirinnocence status of purity and have woman that toposses beto able to Moreover, the legal cases do not seem to influence the bride-kidnappers’ much. influence bride-kidnappers’ decisions notseem legal the cases the to Moreover, do People’s attitude towards legality the was similar of issuethis inthatall intervieweesthe 61 CEU eTD Collection procedures rarely result in real juridical hearings, they still entail financial implications for the for implications financial entail still they hearings, juridical in real result rarely procedures marry him, tokill potentialher owing decided to legal consequences. Even these though evening and road the on asit turned out, persuade bride-kidnapper,the whofailed to girl the to foundsue go man.Shedeadthat the to alongHowever, was sherefused andthreatened to house. groom’s the to bride the take to was plan The bride-kidnap. to planned he woman the and in his with thekidnapper friends went started a café where kidnapped The procedure beforehand. bride- act of the knewabout The woman bride-kidnapping. actof the newspapers about support in case of any with problems bride-kidnapping. presupposes involvementthe of his family. whole families’involvement His guarantees their bride-kidnapping actof becausethe actions of thepossible their thinkconsequences about generation will take care of them and solve any problems olderthe feeling that in generation, a younger is feeling rooted the of security constant they confront. Thus,A men society. in Kazakh do notparents their often on dependency long-life children’s about chapter forth the woman. particular a bride-kidnap to want they when act their about seriously usually pay notsuch do attention to stories”. not bride-kidnappersthe Thus, do seem to think kidnapped. Theyinventstories about theirmarriages andfriends boy justto escape act.that Men the very beginning. The himfrom herconfess was,“Shedidtell interviewee’sanswer actual the marriage, did about not problem is that alltimes at the university.girls Afterwards he decided to kidnap her as he liked her. When usuallyasked why she say suchand married She herwas ahad kidnapper the andhadachild. already was seen several student things when they are bride- Aigerim, another interviewee, described a case that she read in one of local in shethe of read that one acase described interviewee, Aigerim, another One of the reasons for their careless behavior was explained by the argument presented in 62 CEU eTD Collection the issues of bride-kidnapping have symbolic power. However, they against work the However, they sometimes have symbolic power. issuesbride-kidnappingthe of family of a bride-kidnapper or be bride-kidnapped. As was mentioned, state power and the law in marriedwoman” manyto equal thatinfluencestayand woman others to decisions women in the factors,hidden those likehere mean I factors external By insecure ones. external the to referred be can which factor position of women’s asa significant serves thisinfluence that I assume rare; are very their casesof return the Hence, own families, age factor, bride-kidnapping. leavefamily stayinthe actof after women’s the groom’s the or to decisions social vision of an “ideal women who returned after bride-kidnapping would hardly be able to get into a new family again. those that mentioned All interviewees consequences. andpossible actions be of their aware daughters themselves should emphasizedthat butthey acceptable, also of return their daughters the considered they that way in a similar were They similar. were return woman kidnapped reflections of all interviewed mothers to the question The of how family. they new wouldthe leave react to to the decision bride- bride’s a favour not do generally families bride’s The bride-kidnapping. after home return to welcome not are nowadays even women kidnapped bride- the that way in the constructed is society The publicity. of role is the factors those of One factors. many can by beexplained in state the seekthe support to protection. Thisunwillingness law’s without sides between the be decided casescould as those necessary involvement see thestate’s not did they bride-kidnapping non-consensual of in cases the even However, cases.the They strictly betweendifferentiated consensual and bride-kidnapping. non-consensual benefit. own for their situation of advantage the take very often motivatesbride-kidnapper. This factalso sue bride’sthe bride-kidnapperthe to andsome parents Thus, the implicit attitudes of the families and the society haveinfluenceitself of Thus, theand the implicit society aon families the great attitudes of in most irrelevant something as involvement state and law positioned interviewees My 63 CEU eTD Collection external factors werediscussed and in factors that external in chapters. chapter this presented the iscontest efficientitbecause of other this practicekidnapping. isanarguable to question How bride- the practicecontest of to more grounds are there bride-kidnapping. Nowadays, practice of 64 CEU eTD Collection considered the main achievements in their lives. The marriage is a new step in the formation of formation in the step is anew marriage The lives. in their achievements main the considered are thesetwo for inKazakhstan thewomen as arecrucial andfamily discourses marriage bride-kidnapping wasoneof that easywaystogetmarried anewthe andfamily. create The kidnapping lives. Asthe in resultfoundwomen’s occupied lifetheir I of analysis, experience out kidnapping. women and their families assisted in understanding of how they see and position the act of bride- bride-kidnapped of experience The act. to this are subject who people of perspective from the in legal of involvement practice bride-kidnapping the of studiedalso the effectiveness state’s the Sovietthe Union, Iviewed thisact through study the relationskinship of system inKazakhstan. I after thecollapse of occurred that political changes bride-kidnapping within the analysis of the frameworks. Besides different within bride-kidnapping analysisof the Kazakhstan, Ipresented from periodthe to post-Soviettime in andremains pre-Soviet the incontemporary practice before bride-kidnapping. thewomen’s occur that conditionedby choicekidnapping the that factors and revealed or many ispredetermined other kidnapper. bride- leavefamily of the to the or be not to bride-kidnapped forwomen choice the presuppose However, inconsensual andnon-consensual bride-kidnapping. of Inmost casesthesethe do not procedures my research, practicethe entails are viewedasthemain towomen’s making free obstacles in both decision I lookedkidnapping as the act that containsbeyond a set of disturbing procedures for women. The procedures that the borders of the ritualConclusion of bride- Through Through analysisthe interviews, of learntwhatwomen’s place I ritual bride-the of maintainhasbride-kidnapping passed that of practice factors that understand the To the bride- the wholeI discussed sees the research that literature throughout The body of 65 CEU eTD Collection marriage. the to chances future bride-kidnappinglimits women’s of experience unpleasant asthe woman public abouther opinion is leaving.Thisalso connected publicity marital life with future the ofa often justify their“willingness” to stay with the family of a bride-kidnapper as the result of Women be agreeto bride-kidnapped. or bride-kidnapper in of stay the the family to decisions knowledge of necessity beingof married oneday is a very strong factor that influences women’s The them. propose to ready were they until wait them let not did boyfriends own their with relationship the about felt they instability The families. own their create to hope the for had they loved. planswhom the theyhad They actandgaveupeverything boyfriends the before they inthere hopethe of beingher rewarded through loyalty kinship the to ties of husband.her remain still but husbands future their know even not do women cases the of some in difficulties, many has life bride-kidnapping the after that Despite parents. on their dependence complete opportunity of a newlife escapefrom and they one the have in familiestheir being under own families. very of inlives.serves asa married start women’s The actof often quick bride-kidnapping their By agreeing being of importance the realize They age. early their from women on imposed is discourse or stayingaccomplishing herfirst responsibility,her position in husband’s family beginsthe grow. This to in the familymarried musther amale responsibility, get woman birth the andgive to child. Only after of theposition women bride-kidnapper,as those who contribute to maintaining patrilineal ties, i.e. patriarchy.for womenimportant the i.e.family. KazakhsKazakhstan, patrilineal of system kinship of The To realize theybride-kidnappingis as accepted a normal phenomenon itas primarily,serves sustain isto what see as an woman’sthe family in own and point turning construction the herlife.future of The practice of Many interviewed women agreed to stay despite in bride-kidnappers agreed to the families Many interviewedthe of women 66 CEU eTD Collection space to further examination of the bride-kidnapping, which can be extended by the experience beextendedbythe can which bride-kidnapping, furtherthe of examination space to the leaves present research the Therefore, bride-kidnappers. with families or members of their male with interviews conducting for opportunity no were there but only, mothers their and kidnapping. bride- practice who peoples the of consciousness in change the with interwoven be should it but roots this occupiesinthesociety. practice from The come should side change notonly state’s the Ineffectiveness of state’s involvementinthe theissues of bride-kidnapping isexplained by the maintaining marriage family, and this by istakenforpractice grantedand supported Kazakhs. questioningnecessity.bride-kidnapping implication this the in of practice Since of the results by of that wasfollowedkidnappinggeneration each a long-established without asapart tradition bride-kidnapping. of reinforcement in the nationalism of role the notice or see not do interviewees the is that explanation possible Another connection. structure of the interviews that did not give space to the women to elaborate more on this Kazakhstan. There can be many explanations to this finding. One of them is the methodological national identity in the connection the resurgence to ofbride-kidnapping incontemporary of discourse the mentioned interviewees the of none that was moment interesting Another side. nowadays. They did not ineffective that succeednot didtime and werestill at marital practices traditional restricted that see the protection theor Soviet Union. Those people,necessity livedwho during the Soviet time, agreed that the state’s policies in protection kidnapping involvementandsaw changes in thecollapsepolitical after of country the state’s the from the law and state’s The present research was also based on the interviews with the bride-kidnapped women interviews bride-kidnapped the with basedon also the was The presentresearch As the result of research, I found that women and their families presented bride- act who people were subjecttothe was alsolearnof interestingbride- how It to 67 CEU eTD Collection members of their families both males andfemales. males both families of their members number of basedcase studies on in-depththe interviews withbride-kidnapped women and other higher a encompass would who scholars other by be extended or contribute can research my limitedconductmanaged time, only to I six interviews with women. bride-kidnapped the Thus, Due tothe act. to that whoweresubject those of experience the from bride-kidnapping issues of practicethe in of Kazakhstan bride-kidnapping as itcontemporary suggests approaching the actorsof of other this ritual.My findings room open for questioning the sustainthat the factors 68 CEU eTD Collection Olcott, MarthaBrill. 1995. 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