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MEDIOCRE FAILURES SINCE 1992 PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER LOVENGUTH VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 29 | JULY 16-22, 2015 | FREE New Shows,New Lineup, More Laughs,More Insight Your new program schedule is available at KANW.com [2] WEEKLY ALIBI JULY 16-22 , 2015 JULY 16-22 , 2015 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] CRIB NOTES alibi BY AUGUST MARCH Crib Notes: July 16, 2015 VOLUME 24 | ISSUE 29 | JULY 16-22 , 2015 EDITORIAL 1 New Mexico artists’ collaborative Meow FILM EDITOR: Wolf has successfully transitioned into Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] ______________________. MUSIC EDITOR : August March (ext. 245) a) a postmodern monstrosity FOOD EDITOR : b) a millennial self-esteem party Ty Bannerman (ext. 260) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: c) a profit-making business Mark Lopez (ext. 239) [email protected] d) an animated sculpture that wets itself STAFF WRITER /SOCIAL MEDIA GURU : Amelia Olson (ext. 224) [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: The US Department of Commerce reports Cecil Adams, Sam Adams, Steven Robert Allen, Captain 2 that several New Mexico cities are on the America, Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny, Shawna upswing with regards to ________________ Brown, Suzanne Buck, Eric Castillo, David Correia, Mark Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Mark Lopez, August March, revenue. Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant, Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck, Holly von Winckel a) export b) import PRODUCTION ART DIRECTOR: c) criminal Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] d) crowd-funded PRODUCTION MANAGER : Archie Archuleta (ext. 240) [email protected] EDITORIAL DESIGNER/ 3 Local musician Steve “Marimba” Chavez has GRAPHIC DESIGNER : some interesting ideas to make Burque more Tasha Lujan (ext. 254) [email protected] interesting for citizens and tourists. These ILLUSTRATOR/GRAPHIC DESIGNER : Robert Maestas (ext.254) [email protected] fantastic ideas include: STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams [email protected] a) having a giant breakfast burrito available CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: at the eastern edge of the city, so folks Ben Adams, Eva Avenue, Cutty Bage, Max Cannon, traveling through won’t ever go hungry Michael Ellis, Adam Hansen, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Jack b) installing a 2.7-mile zip line parallel to the Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North Sandia Peak Tramway SALES c) playing recordings by the world’s SALES DIRECTOR: foremost marimba artists 24/7 at the Sarah Bonneau (ext. 235) [email protected] Sunport SENIOR DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE: John Hankinson (ext. 265) [email protected] d) banning vibraphones from use by music ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: groups inside the city limits Rudy Carrillo (ext. 245) [email protected] Valerie Hollingsworth (ext. 263) [email protected] Dawn Lytle (ext. 258) [email protected] 4 Two cats from _______________ were recently Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) [email protected] found living in the Duke City, much to the surprise of their owner. ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER: a) Venus Molly Lindsay (ext. 257) [email protected] ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE : b) Poughkeepsie Courtney Foster (ext. 233) [email protected] c) Somewhere in Indiana FRONT DESK: d) Belen Constance Moss (ext. 221) [email protected] Renee Chavez (ext. 221) [email protected] EDITOR AND PUBLISHER: The Grey Lady reports that realtors in Carl Petersen (ext. 228) [email protected] 5 Albuquerque are selling a home for nearly SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] $800,000. The joint includes “brick floors, WEB MONKEY: rounded kiva fireplaces and exposed log John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] ceiling beams” as well as ______________________. OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson and Daniel Scott a) a ritual orgy room CIRCULATION b) a very large metal safe CIRCULATION MANAGER : c) a cheerful view of the impoverished Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] surrounding neighborhood INFORMATION d) granite countertops and stainless-steel appliances PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Eric Answers: Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita 1) C.After successfully participating in last year’s Creative INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] Startups business incubator, the art group now supports NATIONAL ADVERTISING: 65 professional positions at a 30,000 square foot VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 campus. www.vmgadvertising.com 2) A. The export business is growing in the Land of NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. Enchantment, particularly in towns like Las Cruces, 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 Farmington and Santa Fe. BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 3) B.Chavez is a man with big ideas. A founder of the Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2014 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be legendary New Mexican Marimba Band, he also dreams of reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights a pier along the Rio Grande. are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will 4) C.Felines Leroy and Mayah are thankfully on their way be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and back home to the Hoosier State thanks to the efforts of manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. folks at the Underground Railroad Rescued Kitty Network. 5) D.The property south of Downtown sits on two acres. Association It’s irrigated and also features a small orchard and an of Alternative entryway painted with images of saints. a Newsmedia [4] WEEKLY ALIBI JULY 16-22 , 2015 26-year-old Brad Lynn Hemby was being deputies.” Stolen property was recovered from TV. West Virginia Division of Natural sought in connection with a burglary in the Hemby’s truck, and the man was charged with Resources police testified otherwise, saying ODDS town of Arab. The incident began around burglary, theft and attempting to elude. The there was more than enough evidence proving 8am on the morning of July 8 when the owner second person in the truck, a woman, the deer lived inside the house “full-time” for of a home on Baldwin Drive came home and disappeared into a wooded area and has not at least a year. Police received a tip on July 4 D found a truck in his yard belonging to two been located. about the unusual pets and responded to N ENDS people who were burglarizing his home. The Chapman’s home where they found the two A homeowner immediately called the sheriff’s Dateline: West Virginia deer hanging out in his living room. The Office. Hemby apparently tried to flee deputies A man accused of keeping two deer as pets homeowner also kept a supply of hay inside WEIRD NEWS in the truck, but it crashed a short time later. inside his home has been fined $300. Ronnie the house. “I don’t see where I’ve hurt He continued to elude deputies on foot by Chapman appeared in court earlier this anything or done anything wrong, but I sure Dateline: England running through a nearby cow pasture. month proclaiming his innocence. According paid for it,” Chapman told WSAZ. In West Archaeologists excavating Salisbury Plain, Unfortunately for Hemby, the pasture was also to Chapman, the deer did not live inside his Virginia illegal possession of wildlife is a home to the famous Stonehenge Ruins, say home to a large bull. According to Walls, home, but were free to come and go as they misdemeanor. a they have made a startling discovery—dozens “The bull also gave chase along with pleased. The two white-tailed bucks “just of cans of bacon and sunscreen. The items are deputies.” Hemby eventually fell into a barbed come in and bum a piece of candy and they’re Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird leftovers from the U.S. Army, which staged wire fence and “immediately surrendered to back out the door,” Chapman told WSAZ- news to [email protected]. from the area in preparation for the 1944 invasion of Nazi-occupied France during World War II. The BBC reports archaeologists found at least 15 tins marked “U.S. Cream Sunburn Preventive” that were “still intact.” Fortunately, the 1-pound, 8-ounce cans of “Sliced Bacon” were empty. Wessex Archaeology shared the find on its website earlier this month in celebration of America’s Independence Day. Sue Nelson, finds supervisor at Wessex Archaeology, told the BBC the remains of several World War II mess kitchens have been discovered in the aea in recent years and that “the state of preservation of some of the US-issued provisions goes to show how well-made they were.” Dateline: Germany A 34-year-old man was arrested in Berlin after he allegedly stole a bicycle, tossed it through the front window of a restaurant, entered the establishment and then drank half a bottle of Tabasco sauce. Neighbors alerted police after hearing the window smash. The man, unidentified in press reports, was arrested while still inside the restaurant. Police spokesperson Jens Berger said the man was intoxicated at the time and told officers he did it because he was thirsty. Berger speculated the man may have mistaken the spicy condiment for a tiny bottle of liqueur. Dateline: New York According to Playbill magazine, a man in the audience for the Broadway play Hand To God found the set decoration so realistic that he jumped up on stage and plugged his cell phone into a fake wall socket before the start of a July 2 performance. The incident happened at the Booth Theater.