What's in a Name?: Trans Youths' Experiences of Re
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WHAT’S IN A NAME?: TRANS YOUTHS’ EXPERIENCES OF RE-NAMING Julia H. Sinclair-Palm A Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Graduate Program in Education York University Toronto, Ontario October, 2016 © Julia H. Sinclair-Palm, 2016 Abstract Often, choosing a name is one of the first ways trans people begin to assume a different gender from the one they were assigned at birth. Because of their age, trans youths’ relationships to and negotiation of naming is particularly complex: these young people are often still dependent on the very families who named them. In my dissertation, I turn to trans youth and their stories of re-naming themselves to explore how these narratives about the names they receive, refuse and choose can expose challenges to narrating youths’ negotiation and formation of identity. Informed by narrative inquiry, post structural theory, trans studies, queer theory and feminist methodologies, this qualitative study insists that by listening to the stories trans youth tell about their naming processes we can open up space for a more complex understanding of their lives and experiences. Through two sets of interviews with ten trans youth, I explore how stories about names can expose youths’ negotiation of their identity. My dissertation consists of six chapters focusing on ethical concerns in research about trans youth and the role of gender, development and family in the navigation of self-making through names and the daily lives of trans youth. Theorizing names is essential to understanding how young people explore who they are, who they want to be, and how they want others to recognize them, creating space for a deep reconsideration about both identity formation for young trans people and the social and personal importance of names. I argue that by listening to the stories trans youth tell about their naming processes, educators, policy makers and researchers can better comprehend the supports trans youth may need, while opening up space for more complex understandings of trans lives. ii Acknowledgments Over the last six years, I have had the opportunity to learn from and grow with a group of supportive faculty at York University. Jen Gilbert, you have been an amazing supervisor and advocate of my work. Thank you for your encouragement along the way and for all of the opportunities you have provided me with. Chloe Brushwood Rose your friendship and mentorship have been important to my development as a researcher and have made me feel seen. Bobby Noble, thank you for your feedback, insights and questions about my project. Lisa Farley and Aparna Mishra Tarc, you have both been important contributors to my thinking, and I appreciate your thoughtful and caring engagement with my work. My pursuit of a doctoral degree at York University began with support from Jessica Fields. Thank you for your friendship and for believing in me all these years. This dissertation would not have been possible without the support of a number of friends. Starting in the early days of our schooling, Katie Dubiel has been a welcomed devil’s advocate, beach enthusiast, and long time friend. AK Kramer, Betsy Dorset and Rachel Howard thanks for supporting me in starting this adventure, always being there when I needed someone to listen, and holding a space for me in my other home, San Francisco. Thanks to Anne Stebbins, Lee Airton and Gray Carlin for welcoming me to Toronto and helping me find my way. In the last few years, Toby Bowers, Liz McLaughlin, Lindsay Denise and Mark Nimeroski have been the ones to make me dinner, support me through the good and bad, and most importantly, help me create a home in Toronto. Playing soccer has been an important outlet for me during this dissertation process iii and I appreciate Natasja VanderBerg and Marina Scassa for their friendship and mentorship on and off the field. Nael Bhanji thanks for always being up for eating Banjara, watching documentaries and swimming at the pool. Lee Airton, I am thankful for our conversations and games of frisbee in the park. Tama de Szegheo-Lang and Naomi de Szegheo-Lang, you have both been caring and thoughtful friends and housemates, in addition to being steady work partners and helpful editors of my writing over the last few years. Angela Robinson and Rebecca Lock, thank you for your curiosity, the tough questions and for always pushing me to take that next step in my thinking. Shannon Snow, Lauren Jarvis, Jennifer Bethune you have all offered such crucial support during my doctoral work. Michelle Miller you have been the careful reader and editor of my work for the last six years. We have been through a lot and I appreciate all the ways you keep me in mind. Alecia Wagner you were a good friend from the beginning of my doctoral work and among many things, I have valued our conversations over beers at baseball games and the warmth provided from your knitted socks and mittens. Lastly, I want to thank my parents, Jane Sinclair and Doug Palm and my brother, David Sinclair, for their continued support throughout all of these years in school. Thank you for being there to listen to me work through questions and challenges along the way; our conversations have shaped much of the writing in this dissertation. Over the years, schooling has brought me farther and farther away from home and yet your curiosity and attention to my research and daily life has made me feel like you are close by. This project would not have been possible without the participation of the ten young trans people who shared intimate details and personal stories about their lives with me. This dissertation is dedicated to them. iv Table of Contents Abstract ................................................................................................................................ ii Acknowledgements ........................................................................................................... iii Table of Contents ................................................................................................................. v Chapter One: Introduction: Introduction: What’s in a Name?: Trans Youths’ Experiences of Re-Naming ...................................................................................................................... 1 Locating Names in the Lives of Trans Youth .......................................................... 4 Research about Trans Youth .................................................................................... 9 Structure and Chapter Breakdown ......................................................................... 24 Chapter Two: Methodological and Ethical Considerations in Research about Trans Youth ........................................................................................................................................... 29 My Project ............................................................................................................. 30 Descriptions of Participants ................................................................................... 35 Doing Justice to Personal Narratives ..................................................................... 44 Names and Labels in the Trans Community ......................................................... 51 Pseudonyms ........................................................................................................... 58 Conclusion ............................................................................................................. 65 Chapter Three: Conceptualizing Gender in Trans Youth Narratives ................................ 66 Gender is Social ..................................................................................................... 68 Navigating Gender as a Real Feeling .................................................................... 74 Gender is Relational .............................................................................................. 80 The Disorientation and Stickiness of Gender ........................................................ 85 Gender Exists Inside and Beyond Language ......................................................... 92 Narrating Gender through Names .......................................................................... 97 Conclusion ........................................................................................................... 103 Chapter Four: Queering Temporality in Trans Youth Developmental Narratives .......... 105 Sideways Constructions of Development and Time ............................................ 107 Growing Sideways ............................................................................................... 114 Progress Narratives and the Desire for History ................................................... 119 Looking Backwards and Touching Across Time ................................................ 123 The Traces of Trans Youth .................................................................................. 129 “It’s Non-Existent”: Haunting in Trans Youth Narratives .................................. 130 Conclusion ........................................................................................................... 136 Chapter Five: Exploring the Role of Family and Culture in Trans Youth Naming Practices ......................................................................................................................................... 138