My Husband Church Planter
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My Husband wants to be a Church Planter... So What Will That Make Me? My Husband wants to be a Church Planter... So What Will That Make Me? Compiled and Edited by John M. Bailey and Sherri Jachelski The North American Mission Board (NAMB) is the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) mission agency which, in cooperation with state conventions, assists SBC churches in reaching the United States, Canada, and their territories with the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Board oversees the work of more than 5,000 missionaries who are supported through the Cooperative Program and the Annie Armstrong Easter Offering® for North American missions. 1 Copyright © 2007 by the North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission of the publisher. All inquiries should be addressed to: Editorial & Visual Promotion Team Director, North American Mission Board, 4200 North Point Pkwy., Alpharetta, GA 30022-4176; fax (770) 410-6006; or e-mail to [email protected]. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scriptures marked as (CEV) are taken from the Holy Bible, Contemporary English Version, copyright © 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise specified, quotes are from Church Planter Wives Research Project 2007 (developed and published by the North American Mission Board), telephone interviews with wives of church planters, and letters submitted for this project. Acknowledgements Special thanks to the authors who shared their wisdom, experience, and passion for the Lord’s glory by contributing to this project. To the church planter wives and former church planter wives who contributed to this project by taking our survey, allowing us to interview you, submitting a letter, or providing content feedback. To the many North American Mission Board staff members who assisted with this project, including Steve Canter, Janet Weber, Cindy VanKempen, and former staff member Laurel Taylor. To the entire Strategic Resourcing Unit of the Church Planting Group who guided us through the process. Thank you for being such faithful servants. To the Southern Baptist churches who make resources like this one available through their Cooperative Program giving and Annie Armstrong Easter Offering®. An Introduction from Deborah Hammond… Someone Who’s Been There Dear future church planter wife, Chances are, if you are reading this book, you are either beginning—or have already begun—a journey in church planting. Wherever you are on the road, you’re probably searching for some encouragement and perhaps even a few fresh ideas. You’ve come to the right place for both. In the following chapters, you will hear from church planter wives just like yourself, who understand your struggles, joys and frustrations. None of them would claim to be experts, just willing servants allowing the Lord to use them to share their own journey in hopes of helping another along the way. No one has all the answers for you, but each writer has learned that no one can do this alone. It takes a team effort, surrounded by prayer. I am very encouraged to know that so many people cared about those coming behind them and took the time to share their hearts with you. Being faithful to the call to plant new churches is one of the most effective ways to win the countless lost people in North America. The challenge is that it’s hard work and quite often without recognition. A healthy, growing church doesn’t happen overnight by accident. There will be some dark days of discouragement, but the effort is worth it all when you see a soul come to Christ. As a wife, you‘ve no doubt already learned that your husband is more effective with your help than without it. When God created the woman to be the man’s helpmate, He must have had church planters in mind! Your husband has the primary role of developing your new church, but he can never be all the Lord intended him to be without you working beside him. In the days to come, he’ll need your support, encouragement and occasionally perhaps even a word of caution. In those early days of church planting, it may be just you and him. He’ll need to know you believe in his ministry as much as he does. You have the power to enrich or destroy his endeavor with your attitude. God has called BOTH of you in this adventure called church planting. Don’t be shy about using the gifts God blessed you with for this very moment. Don’t be afraid to try things you don’t consider your strongest ability. You might be pleasantly surprised to see how the Lord gives you His supernatural power to “do all things through Christ who strengthens you.” Be assured of the North American Mission Board’s support of you and your husband and your faithfulness to share Christ’s love throughout North America. We will be praying that God will use you in a mighty way, far beyond your expectations. The Lord bless you richly! Deborah Hammond Wife of Dr. Geoff Hammond, North American Mission Board President Deborah Hammond Table of Contents 1 Considering the Journey John M. Bailey 9 2 You Want Us To Do What? Janet Allen 23 3 So I’m Married to a Church Planter… Lori Chase 37 4 The Role of a Church Planter Wife Joyce Jackson 47 5 Never Enough Time Tina Cole and Nocona Koenig 59 6 Where Does the Church End and Our Home Begin? Debbie Millman 71 7 Life as a CPK (Church Planter Kid) Sue Ferguson 83 8 We’re Planting a Church, But Money Doesn’t Grow on This Tree Dave Ramsey 93 9 Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words… Teresa Merritt 109 10 The Loneliness of a Planter Wife Niki Roberts and Nancy Sullivan 119 11 A Spiritual Workout Bob Lepine 131 Conclusion: We Said “Yes” Kim McManus 141 Appendix PLACE Ministries Personality Assessment 151 Considering the Journey By John M. Bailey 1 John M. Bailey serves as Team Leader, Enlistment and Missional Networks Division, in the North American Mission Board’s (NAMB) Church Planting Group. Prior to beginning his assignment with NAMB in 2005, John served as an associational missionary in Ohio, a pastor in Kentucky, a youth minister in Tennessee, and has taken an active role in church planting during his ministerial career. John and his wife, Lori, live in Cumming, Georgia, and have four children. Let me extend a huge salute to you and your husband as you consider taking the journey of planting a church. Be sure, however, to note the use of the word “journey”—it is your first clue that what you are about to embark on may very well be the ride of your life! And scary as it sounds, it will be a ride marked by uncertainty and filled with opportunities to make adjustments in your life. It will be a ride which unfolds as you move forward—as you take the journey. There is not a GPS to chart your course—you will be (or will become) totally dependent upon God. Even if you and your spouse plant church after church after church in every imaginable context every journey will bring with it unique challenges and opportunities for you to grow closer to our heavenly Father. Let me assure you that in spite of the uncertainty and struggles church planting families face, 94 percent of church planter wives say it is worth the cost. Let’s pretend you’re headed on a cross-country trip—would you chart out your course using MapQuest, a GPS, or some other sort of navigational strategy? Or would you jump in the car and head in the general direction, believing that the journey is just as important as the destination? Most would chart their course in an effort to 9 reduce stress. They would identify mile markers to measure their progress. We need to know where we are going and how we plan to get there. So you are reading this and confusion is setting in. “How can we map the journey of planting a church when you just said that the ride would be filled with uncertainty? How can we plan our work when it appears that the pathway unfolds as you journey?” May I suggest that the phases of planting a church are much like those of raising a child? You have big dreams, high expectations, and yet you really know little of how this child (or church) will turn out. You know nothing of what struggles you will face as a parent (or a church planter), nor what issues will arise as you prepare this child for adulthood. Lacking the details, you still conceive a child. In spite of the uncertainty, you become parents and begin the day-by-day journey called parenting. Why? Because you have a fairly clear understanding of the phases of childhood development. You conceive a child because you know of others who have successfully raised children of their own.