k...a:. Dear Dickheads. ~rrryIS Mlbilly rock-and-dl. It was Who the hell does Jon Shuman not an usurpation of black music by a.k.a. Stimboy think he islLowl leg- whites bemuse its swl. its pneuma l?mwm= end my ass! JR, you suck and I was white. full of redneck ethos. GlANNl ELLEFSEN know how hard. but why don't you When Elvis cut Big Boy Crudupf On February 20th. The JR RUPPEL , tell Shuey to get dom off his mighty "That's All Right," he was no more Cinema Bar and Slug will be HlDfiOa throne and form a real band, or usurping black culture than Wynonie GlANNl ELLEFSEN move back to Cali? Harris was usurping white culture holding a BAND HOME ART DIIIElOTOZt .You Know My Name ' when he cut country singer Hank Cinema Bar (45 West pennyesm~l~~t three yean Broadway) at 8.Wpm., All bands JR RUPPEL Editors Note: No I don't know before, Presley's venton of "That's All and merchants in the music busi- your name cause you are to big RightS'isbetter than the original,@st ness are welcome and encour- WILLIAM ATHEY of a pussy to sign it. Gee. as Harris's version of "Bloodshot aged to attend. This will not be a cow sDxToE4 Somebody who thinks I suck, W is better than its original." The sales thing for merchants but a STEVE TRINNAMAN Howortginal.Youcosrldbieany wosdswerewrittenbyNickTosches chance for musicians to get one ~reveryone! and Iagree with them. together to see what can be done PHOTOS -JR Ruppel One final I saw Kob about Salt Lake's music scene Rome Jacmbs whrm at the "Martin Luther and for merchants to let musi- Steve NLIdgley Dear Dickheads King "gay Of NonWO1ence in cians know what special deals DISTRIBUTION In response to the Rtbfk Enemy a Violent World" concert at column printed in SLUG #73, the Symphony Hall. She sang "Hound they can get. This is by invitation nrrike Harrelson but you have do is CONTRlBUTlNO January issue, I have some com- Dog" and when she finished she said ments for Michael Styles. Rrst - I she sang the song in tribute to two Swing bar an WRlTlCRs have a great deal of respa fPr you. artists who had influenced her or call cinema at 359-1200 Helen Wolf Your articles in the pas& e~peeialty music. The artists were in Koko's to have your name Put on a list. SthbOY the gang piece and the one describing words. "the late great Big Mama Things that will be discussed will lmclael Styles how the mainstream media steals Thornton and the late great Elvis be: Promotion. Rentals. Band 8-Wh idem from SLUG were right on the My." knk ass bitch? 1've"been in Merchandise sales and manufac- Padre Beelaabub mark. However, your Elvis article lock* my mend. more times than I turing, advertising. N.0 oblige- Royce Jacmbs was filled with inaccuracies and it care to remember. (have you?) and tion, no cover just a chance for Sharee Sorensen was poorly ~e~8oKh&f~Your reply @ my UShole and mouth remain uir- everybody to help each other out. ~~MarrJohnny Angel's rebuttalsf the article @n. Iam not lohhny Angel. but he is Come participate and see what was embormfhg. The debate over a fiend. I hope Gianni is a Mend as do for yourselves and OUR THANKS Elvis can go on r"" The name well and lstand up fir my;nyeiily you Maile, Laura, Beth Sutton, calling can become even more offen- each The Event, Kris, Crystal, sive. Isay. who licking cares? William Athey Jason Barker, Bella, Aimee, My interest in Elvis lies only Sharee, Tracy, Bradzig', Ron with the 16 sides he recorded at Sun EDITORS NOTE: NO MORE ELVIS O., Rick R. Bradzig Studios. Only five of the sides were SHlTI PERIOD! ELVIS HAS LEFT THE R&B influenced. Two of the five were MAGAZINE! This is not the World SLUG is ublished by the 1st of each actually R&B influenced by country. WeeWy News, or The Inquirer, so if April 15th. will be the annu- month. T R e writina is contributed bv al bowling tour~~arnent.If You I writers-The writing is the I Whatever Elvis went on to become - you want to continue this stupid the writers and IS not neces- I he began as a rockabilly singer. argument over Elvis, continue it in haven't been to one of these saril that of the people who put it Rockabilly music is not, nor was it Pompadour Press. Put Your Cat things it is time you did. Tons of toae&er. The tocics included are also c6ntributed. If you don't agree w~th ever a riwff of blacks. "As all things Clothes On, or some Elvis worship prizes and trophies plus free beer what is said, or you feel something IS that mtain more creativity than for- mag. NOT HERE. . missing, then ou should do something and pizza for everyone who par- about 11... WRITE. All submissions must mula. more emotjon than intellect. Thank you. . ticipates. Cperson teams. $15 per be recerved no later than the 20th of rockabillg cannot be precisely the month. We try not to edit any of the team. all ages welcome. 487-9221 writing that is sent. We' ask you keep defined. As the word implies. mcka- for more details our writing d~rectand to the polnt, thus eavlnn more room for other wrlters. IrWe thHnk everyone for the continued I support. Thank you SLUG STAFF WRITERS. NOTICE: All writing must come in typed, or on a 3.5" disc (IBM or Apple). If you are one of the many writers out there who haven't sent it in yet ...what's the problem? See the way it works is, you send it in... we print it. We can always use opinionated columns, short stories or whatever strikes your interest. BIG PANTS TEESHIRTS * LEATHER BODY JEWELRY HATS OILS INCENSE SUNGLASSES LIP SERVICE SPIKES * STRIPED- TIGHTS - - must be wiped from the ass of how he lost control." Let me thk planet and if you're not with guess, reaching for the Twinkles? me, you're agin me. For the unini- Ham sandwich blackout? Dozed tiated. I've compiled a short list of off listening to last night's boot- Dead annoyances. Remember, use leg? Most Dead recordings are a Birkenstock, go to jail. clearly labeled "Do not use while operating a motor vehicle". Jerry. please allow me to recomend the North Temple Taco Bell for your dining pleasures while in town. 2 The MUSHE The ~rateffiiDead have released about, oh. seventpfive official albums arrd the bootlegs total that number times pie. What's even more amazing is that there is not ONE single decent song in the whole fucking catalog! Even the covers smell like tuna! Only a SUPREMELY lousy band could spil out sheer numbers like that and 1 Hate Thr not stumble on a passable rune (Agnes Poetry not withstanding - EPQT~~utl Paad B jrrr Eargin too early to say yet). Deadheads all him Cap'n Trips. even trade tapes of this shit all Thr Mag.~kaendnsrs That's right, they're Colonel Choiesteral, the Bearded over the world. One lucky sap And I thought Disney had a racket coming back. Soon SLC will be Clam, or the worst guitarist since someday will be able to say: going ... "Dude! I got it! Mickey dropped overrun with hygieneimpaired Bob Wier. just don't call him late 5 Rdix Mqganissrs granola children and VW vans for (second, thircl- ninth) dinner. dead during his drum solo last undoubtedly filled with illegal night - and I've got it on tape!". Not just Relix. mind you. Diamond Gramps G. recently cheated death Dupree and a prle of others I drugs (Which one? Take your yet again in Mill Valley when he But what about those incredible pick.) and rye-dyed everything. $32.000 extended jams of musical virtuosi- didn't feel like looking for are out totalled a BMW (on there, let's just use Relix for target The Grateful Dead and thier ilk Loan!). The CHP sez: "He isn't sure ty. you ask? My grandpa used to trail off into indecipherable jags practice. My sample issue of this too, and nobody lined up to hear rag includes lots of whining let- THAT. Maybe the Dead wear ters (Hmm, sound familiar?) "Depends" also - there's a job no about "the Pigs". legalizing pot- roadie ever wants. bad acid. and "the Pigs": the 3 kegadhrsgadss Incarcerated Deadheads Listings (None for Utah - c'mon pigs! The one thing Ihate more than Catch up!): wall-to-wall pix of the Grateful Dead are the lowlifes very ugly people in rye-dye dis- who follow them around every- playing thier Dead merchandise: where to actually see the show the disclaimer "Relix is printed on gai~!This is basically a bunch of virgin unbleached water-processed wannabe hippies who lack the job paper with soy-based inks" (SLUG skills to panhandle in front of uses spotted owl blood exclusive- ZCMI. or "students" living off ly): Deadheads on the Internet (e- Dad's Gold Card. Some even have mail some hate to deadheadsie- oh-so-original nicknames like [email protected] .edu. cyber- "Wharf Rat': "China Doll". nauts): Dead set-lists for five(!) "Stagger Lee", and "Yeast . months worth of concerts (It's Infection". Lately, there's been alot true, no two nights use the same of whining by these losers about list - if you can tell the damn cops "profiling" thier vehicles and songs apart!): environmental stat pulling them over for drug like "Americans produce almost searches. Yeah, whenever I see a 150 million tons of garbage per VW microbus covered with pot year". most, of llrhich you car leaf and Dead stickers. I know it's mail-order from the back oft headed for a Young Republicans magazine - save the planet.br . luncheon. Can't wait 'ti1 these pin- and other irrelevent factoids suck heads meet up with the Delta as: "Jerry Garcia had a secretary Center nazis - oh the humanity. riamed Lincoln. Lincoln had a sec. Fun Fact: The penalty for killing a retary named Lardass". Fa Deadhead in Salt Lake county is only a small fine. slightly lower than an expired meter ticket. Happy hunting! -

CHROME CRANKS Actually rrom the tirst ritr. ..danananana..danananana.. stolen tirom Cheap Trick's 'He's a Whore'. The rest of the song just stinks like poop. "COLD HmDp&?rs.. Can anybody write a song where 'black & white' isn't followed by "wrong or right'? Gimme a break. Who blew who to get these dumb fucks on MTW And what the hell is a Seether? This song is only palat- able if you replace the word 'Seether' with the word 'Penis'. J.T. is off recovering from a long over due mental More Shit: The Dallas Crybabys-after weeks of bragging and pre- collapse. (probably from OVER EXPOSURE) so once dicting a Super Bowl victory, the 49ers kicked their ass in the champi- onship game and sent them home crying and whining like the pussies again. I am doing the rambling solo act this they ore. Dallas coach Barry Switzer cried like a little girl, instead of month. So I will take this opportunity to make alot acting like a man and admitting the loss. he blamed it on everyone else, of brash statements about people that I should including the referees. I called his office in Dallas and told him what a have made long ago. and some that have just loser he is. If you'd like to call and tell him what a bum he is, here's the recently pissed me off. phone number ..I-234-556-9900.Ask for Mr. Switzers office. or the head girl scout. he'll get the message. Send me a copy of your phone bill, and First.. there never seems to be any lack of really I'LL PAY FOR THE CALL! shitty music these days, but a few have risen Salt Lake's incredible shrinkina aene pool-Every time walk into above the'muck and produced some incredibly bad. I a bar. I see ten people who have slept with ten other people all at the bad songs. Like Ini Kamoze's "The Hotstepper" same club! Ijust can't get excited over a sexual prospect that has done it What a piece of shit this is. "Here come de hotstep- with the guy I'm shooting pool with. pah, blah, blah. 1:m a lyrical gangsta, blah. blah, Turnabout is fair play-Call it whatever you want karma irony ak like ya know g-bo.1 know what Bo don't know...... I call it justice. My ex girlfriend. let's call her "The Nuclear Bitch" that blah. blah" Whatever. My dog leaves the room screwed me over last year. married a FAT guy, and she got FAT! HA when this gem comes on. Another shit heel tune is ... !HA! HA! My new girl friend is NOT fat. and she likes me to tie her up! "You Suck" by The Murmurs. Gee, how long do ... H00-HOO! love it when God turns the knife. you think your careers in songwriting will last? I Derwood's Theorr, of Reuolution-The ongoing finger pointing con- Here's a little sample of this lyrical wonder- test between The Private Eye's 'music critic' and The Event's 'music crit- ment ..."But now there's dust on my guitar you t#6c0A! ic'. all caused by my boy. Travelin' Man, It seems that Barr. Squeal and ..and..for..that..you..suck..and..for..tck Benji Futon got their panties in a bunch because T.M. said mean things about them. Grow up girls! He wouldn't do it if it didn't piss you off so Wow! You said 'suck' on the radio, how cool and much. Of course. he has a point, considerins both of your knowledge of different! The last .excuse for a song that I will music won't fill a thimble in a rainstorm. Face it guys. you're easy to belittle this month is a real doozy ..." Seether" by make fun of, Your columns are so straight laced that they're laughable. Veruca Salt. This ditty blows from the word go. STAR TREK XVII-THE FINAL VOYAGE-ULTIMATE SNOOZE-A- m-Giveme a break. FOX. This plotless overdone repetitious dribble must end. NOW! You are in the way of some original idea trying to break into TV. BE GONE! Besides there are some really good shows on TV. like Ren & Stimpy. GLASS HOUSES-Finally. I have something to say to Ms. bad hair psycho tramp man hater, Susan Powter. YOU HAVE A BIG FAT ASS!!! How do you expect women who want to lose weight to listen to you? YOU HAVE A BIG FAT ASS! You claim to know all this stuff about losing wieght (you lost IS0 Ibs.) but you cari't seem to finish the job. YOUR ASS IS BIG & FAT! Maybe you should call your book "How to lose alot of poundage--and still have A BIG FAT ASS!"

Well. there you have it. I hope you feel better. I know that I do. Me and my miserable little life are doing just fine, thank you. By the way Happy B-Day to Mark. Mirth the Man. Bella. Rory and of course Crystal. And Happy Upcoming B-Day to Kevin. Lisa G., Nicki (The Dark Overlord) and of course ME! Send presents! -The FATMAN a STOR 258 East 1st South SLC, UT 841 11 801-328-3300 alr compan STORE 2 2250 We. 5400 So. SLC, UT 841 18 801-966-8581 18586 I

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of the SLUG corporate HQ. And it is You Will do and like it+ And angry punk living in mommy's iwill tell you why: It's the pecking basement in Kearns & travels order. the food chain. Oarwins the- uptown in mommy's Olds to stand ory. The ones with enough passion inbetween the ZCMl & Crossroads to express their opinion. do so with Malls. any means at their disposal, ie. an. Thing one. Mr. Clueless music, writing. spraypainting a Punk Dead! Me there. Me saw. wall, urinating on a public om Three chords and a 4/4 beat cial, whatever. And the ones who does NOT a punk make. So don't sit and wait.to be insulted or use the words 'punk rock' in the ofended, whine. same breath as anything you Imyself often fantasize about a hear now. This is exactly like publication that focuses on the posi- the resurrection of rockabilly. These are both things extremely Writers would have to represent cool at the time, but the hard everyone's opionion, even if it's not truth is they have lived and their own. It would read like: died! My grandfather was cool This is good and that is good too, but I don't dig him up and and isn't life won&rLl and fair? stick him in an easy chair in my The firest creatures are my friends. living room because I can't Ilive lit2 in a little dreamworld fill replace him in my life! And this of fairies and bunnus.1 love you disco thing ...My God. the 70's and lets'sing. - were the most evil moment of Why, you could call yourself music purgatory in all of histo- , \ Deisel, and it could read like ry. Again. I was there. Evil! And the mormon wife's guide to family you people wont to relive this? (Whoops) Where was I? Oh yes. graywhale cd Anyway Mr. Clueless, my best advice is to move out of mom's Dear Friends. Iloved the ani- basement, get a job. live life awhile & channel your anger. Hppefully, the years will give you the objettivity and the insight to better equip you for Joev Boring your next letter. SLC Ut. ward #I62 Hopefiilly, this article will If you don't have the point yet. have everyone at each other's it's hate people. I hate. hate. throats.'and I will wait patiently, hate. I hate you. I hate me. I close by, watching with a meticu- hate this house ,this street, coun- lous eye. Like a mad Russian poet. I ty. city, state. country. Looking down on the arena called planet ...1 hate all things every Salt Lake, masturbating ever so where! (ouch) 1 just bit myself. I slowly. using hot sauce as lubri- . hate that. And now here are a few cant. Soon you will all be gone, examples of my hate... and there will only be my opinion. Dear dickheads, these Growin Graphics ads offend me -0'DELL WISH-HEN \because Idon't have the brain

Many of today's secular crowd could tions, sometimes LOVE MUST EXILE. The Then you have those that take their easily disconnect from the world's church ripoff dude in the hood must be shunned. own life. hn't seemed to overide the inner fblk. Better off without 'em. Yet sometimes The crazy lover must be shown the road. dpffinctlon so they choose dfexlle into the n seems there's no light of day where the You gotta tell your best mend to go to hell. great bewd. But how great is the religious can't cast thelr shadow. Not drat That's where a lot of these organized beyond anyhow? When my Unde kachy it's all bad. though. You might fall off religions go wacko. They ay so valiantly back in Pawtucker got a little liquored up he your skateboard and bust up your kg and to engage the flock as a whole. To nail would expound upon strong &lings con- got no insurance. Well the HOLY SISTERS down the one true body of their lord. To cerning the Suidde Zone. As a fierce inde- OF MERCY help run a hospital where you flll up them churches and keep padding pendent Peachy battled hard and crazy walk in & they take care ofyou. Maybe {hem roll calls like some Wall Street num- between the law and the mob and mud you pay 'em maybe you don't. But on the bers game where those with the mo~ have taken a few peaks into the etheml side. other side ofthe coin, there's the needy points can call themselves king of the crap Iwas indined to listen intently to his pas- response invoked by supposedly spiritual pile. donate convictions. He Mt that an indi- . saviors that make you look fbr change to Jesus sakes let it go its own way time vidual who offed her or himself landed in pay the toll to get you over the damn high to time. Not everybody wants or deserves an astral plane that really didn't care fbr a way bridge of their invention. "Brothers & the knowledge or understanding that their person's shit at all. You go there fbr relief Sisters. do you want to be saved today by God or Goddess may provide. Could be they and be like looking fbr Valentine presents in the Good Word of Truth & Rebirth er else be just ain't ready. Could be they just waiting the Combat Zone. swallowed by fire?" to come back as a soxy Hindu lass who can But hey, if that's someone's ticket, I Or the raging righteous might use a orgasm in meditation. Ready or not is a ain't gonna try to be too persuasive. One more proactive approach by shooting dead case by case barometer that could be given must see one's one path. Now ifsomeone in cold blood an abortion dinit derk not a lot more space. When some hillbilly were to ask me for a bit of advice, Imight making much over minimum wage but thinks he found Jesus looking down a dou- suggest to the demented to grab Some loose who happened to believe in a vision of per- ble barrel 12 guage shotgun there is some- bucks and head on some hare brained sonal choice. Chrisf even Mother Theresa's thing dreadhlly wrong with the picture. adventure into desolation out in the far been subject to an expose acming her of How do we know that boy ain't better off reaches of this fascinating Earth. The facist leanings and fishy finances. Is it that Lhin and fbrnicatin with his country cousin Mama Globe has her own way of healing as we get closer to the millenium humani- don't know no better no how. the deranged but yw must walk her trails ty's demons become bdept at adapting dif- It's okay to spread a GOOD WORD to without ambition or expeetation. Given a ferent masks? the world. But Jesus Christ, Mohammed, fool's trust you will walk that medicine Conversely the angels & saints aren't inter- Zoraster. Buddha, Krishna and all the really wheel. ested in exchanging their passion & love fbr holy people gave the word and moved on The main ingredient in most dementia humanity for a Vanity Falr profile. They'd withoutjammin it so hard down people's is a Houndering due to lack of love. As nec- rather see & experience it on ground level or Heads that it felt like a fish hook. You see essary it is to sometimes exile the parasite, underground if necessary. they had the original idea. AAer that the so it is possible to welcome back & forgive. To be a lover of the world today take's parasite followers demanded a bandwagon Don't beat yourself up in the process, learn more than following a spiritual creed. mentality so that they wouldn't stand alone to recognize when love is really happening, Nobody's learn how to embrace this cmq with the lofly truth. A man or a woman when one's mind, heart & loins barter not place the same way twice. Experiencing must be allowed to walk without impede- beeause essential understanding skips sense- love between people is never quite as ideal- ment no matter how beautihrl your mes- less arguments and flies fully into the song rstic as might be stated in black and white. sage of salvation. And people like I was of the eternal hean dance. Especially in such a gumbo as the modern saying. sometimes you gotta give the oeea- . globe. In my long running mice of God I sional pain in the ass a good shove out of -AMORE PADRE BEELEZEBUB have found that despite all the best inten- your way.

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LCOTTONWOODMALL (801) 272-8343 1 Open Everday Mon-Sat 10a-9p /Sundays 12-5p Receive one F'REE DC Comic with this ad! Exp:2/28/95 it's tough ko prediet who will attend his concerts these days. with the mix of his death- metal legion widening all the time. The conversarion soon turned towards comics and Danzig's own comic publishing ~~~fi~wcomplete with sideburn, build company, Verotik. As with his and body language. His voice music. Glenn is doing it his was powerful, reminiscent of way and could care less what Jim Morrison or Ian Astbury ,people think of the comics he of the Cult: his vocals shared publishes as long as they are a mesmerizing strength and forming their opinions by . quality that was similar if his actually reading them. When music is not. The audience asked about the violent and Duptee's Diamond Hews proved ready for the band erotic nature of Verotik's line. with many singing along Danzig stated. "You have the Baokstage Pass Video verse for verse. A few concert right to say and do what you Deadboe III, Hemp Stuff goers even received medical want as long as it doesn't . Gkan Danzig: musi- attentfon due to their enthusi- hurt anyone else. There's a lots of Stickers 8 Patches cian, writer, artist. comic astic appreciation of Danzig's new right wing in America publisher, director, producer music. One fan, anxious to get that is trying to repress the Tee-Shirts Posters L and death-metal band leader. back to the concert, refused whole country. You cannot On the evening of Wednesday. needed attention from a medic control how people think, act. Incense 0 Skeleton I December 14th. he talk, where b I was Glenn- Danzig. they're gonna performer. As the go, what they'rc coilcert got start- gonna be read- ed, the set looked ing, what they like a scene from watch on T V - one of Clive not in a country Barker's Hellraiser that's called M-F 11-7 SAT 10-6 movies. Thick America. This is black ropes were supposed to be draped over the the shining lighl stage speakers and for the whole stretched painfu.lly world to look behind the drum- at." mer stood a 20 On a side foot face. strait note: Glenn From a Hellraiser panzig's recent comic book cover. venture into The atmosphere comics publish- was eerie (no pun ing was also intended to Bassist evident with the Eerie Von) as the "Little Whip" band took the concert t-shirt, stage like four threatenrng uluwrlvy Lllc outrageous Cenobites all dressed In black. while blood still ran down his "FAUST" artist, Tim Vigil. In Though once they took the face from a broken nose. The addition. Danzig continues to stage they were more inuigo- band played on tirelessly for use "The Shadow" comic artisl rating than ominous. Glenn two hours with an encore. Michael W. Kaluta for cd Danzig grabbed the micro- . Though sometimes individual cover art. Who better to know phone and punished the will- numbers seemed to blur what evil lurks in the heart of ing crowd with his bitlng together, still all were well Danzig? 'i lyrics as Eerie Von (Bass), received by the crowd, from In the end, braving John Christ (Guitars) and Joe hits like "Mother" to Danzig's the long drive out to Saltair. Castillo (Drums) all added to new releases like "Can't poor parking (though better the powerful eruption of Speak" or "Going Down To than Wolf Mountain). the ran- testoster0n.e infecting the Die". cid smell of the Great Salt S!Ij!!lQ64S2 Surrounded by crowd. Particular compliments Lake (even in the cold) and a to drummer hey Castillo. groupies backstage, Danzig freezing walk in the dark, a presents newest member df the band. handed out autographed good time was waiting for tht who didn't miss a beat and "Deathdealer" posters to cele- perseverant. played ferbciou~lyall night. brate his upcoming comic book SONS OF If ELlUlOlD Comic fan himself. Danzig project with Frank Frazetta. A -Vicki Brown watch for details looked much like Wolverine of surprisingly refreshed IooklngDanzig commented that 11FAA11 ' ------Y NTER - ..n* ...... 1 ~a.,,?RlDOIN' IT FOR THE KIDS!

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3y7-p-;,i4;:,y.... .>'? :,;:: :$;c*?-i-. . l;;t!*; '.: _,,A , , < . .." -I.:::bm=Y 1995 m DECEMBER 6,1969: THE DAY THE SIXTIES DIED. TtIE ROLL ING STONES GIMME .A,. pi'. .,..

. ' - Moral of the story: don't hire the Hell's ngels as concert rjt y guards...duh! February 3 = m

at the Cinema Bar The never-ending series of Jon. Shuman reunion gigs continued -SCREEN INTE with appearance of the Dollymops opening for Sinister Dane. If the reunion concerts continue expect to see the Massacre Guys getting back together for one night only sometime in the future. The Ddlymops knocked out an impressive set of noise and sarcastic commentary on their music that was a pleasure. Providing cheap entertainment and warming up the crowd is what it's all about. the Dollymops did their The Seerel' Odven job. of TomThum6 (J I heard that Sinister Dane weren't all that great. Apparently the C major label hype machine biased the person reporting to me against the band. I met the guys befoge they started playing and they were pretty decent; friendly, down-to-earth and all that kind of thing. When they took the stage I was impressed before the music began by the bass carried by Duck. It was white and built By a small indie compa- ny whose name escapes me since I lost my notes on the show. Duck told me that he'd met with the owner of the vompany and personally picked out the instrument. Whatever the make and model the sound of it was impressive. I'm a bass freak with stacks of bass recordings in I, my low-riding Nisaan. I cruise State blasting them every Friday and %b MORMONS, SEX, Saturday night. k ALIENS.~.WHAT The press kit says these guys were pleased with their first record- ing and that it capures their live sound. The CD doesn't touch them MORE COULD SALT live. Funk. punk, metal. ska and whatever are all mixed up ih their L&KE ASK FOR? minds. They fly about the stage sending out as much energy from the 4 view as their music damages the eardrums. They wear earplugs to Feb. 23 = ? protect their own hearing. Matt Martin. drums. doesn't face the audi- 1 ence. His kit is set-up sideways, in a similar fashion to (as he told me) Rage Against The Machine and Fishbone. The references are Living Color, who invited Sinister Dane to tour with them. and the aforementioned Fishbone. References are only refer- ences. Sinister Dane live are entirely original. A major label executive twisted my arm behind my back and held it there until 1 promised to attend the gig. Glasses were vibrated of tables, record store clerks were driven to dance, everyone in attendance enjoyed themselves as much as the band enjoyed playing and I'm thankful for the arm twist- ing. At most. 100 people saw the show. If you weren't one of them too bad. An rmA LlfihrmlllfirDA LIIAIr) I...... -. I I.... I..,.. . 4. -.-,.I4

8LUQFBQU-February 24th O Cinema Bar. hree Bands 4 Three Bucks.-Erector --Sir Knobbk Hassle & The Swamp Donkeys-Valdaranla

SLUGFEST is a new alternative for local bands to showcase heir material on a night dedicated to new local bands. We will try o do this every month or so, and keep it up throughout the year. It is strictly for NEW local bands that get little exposure. The first of our SLUGFEST shows of 1995 features three very diverse bands. the first of which is Sir Knobbie Hassle & The Swamp Donkeys. This band feotures ex- Maggotheads & Rubberneck rock Gods Jason Lamb.& Keith 'Cornholio' Musig. Add the drumming of Trent Pratt and Wayne Moss (a guy who's looking for a cross between a 24hr coffee shop waitress and an industri- I vacuum for a girlfriend) and you haue the makings of quite a ool band. They call themselves "Good old punk rock, while stat: ng that they just want to be 'fuckin hip' and haue women find them highly erotic at the same time. Next band... Erector This trio consists of

Jimmy Scott (ex ' Broadside guitarist) on guitar and vocals. Jason lensen from the !metal 'AAZ-A-A-~' VUllU lVIIIIUI uyc UII-- rums. and Jaime Goble of Athlete's Butt fame. This band boasts

uer 40 tattoos.ll body piercings. breasts from SLUG back issues. ' d songs about drinking. cars and women. Not to mention the cool song "Bleed Baby Bleed" appt%ring on the upcoming Compilation #5. This band should kick ass if they can keep killing each other on stage. The music is. however. killer stuff that's what makes this band gel. I can't wait to see if the rest heir set is as good as the one song I've heard. You can see for ourself at the show.This band will be up last on the 24th. so plan to stay up late. The last band. and probably first in line to play, is Valdarama. Make sure you get to the Cinema Bar early. so you'don't miss these guys! This four piece may very well rede- fine punk rock in the land of Zion. Or maybe they'll just play a set & drink until they vomit. Either way, you'll want to witness Valdarama for PR~FA- 7-MENIBE~' yourself. The lineup consists of Dan tersen [my man ...Dan) on Gitar. (I've known- an for four years 'a nd he still holds the title of 'Coolest Mgn Alive'). Greg Fredette of ! fi'""S alt Flat Records on bass. Ryan Smith (not sure if that's his real t -.I -8 r w Y-Y BUCKS e) on drums. and Vaughn 'Vonzy' Brown as the vocalist/noise- P 3 er. That is all I'm going to tell you. If you blow it and miss band, you'll be the idiot going "Huh, I didn't see them" when u; friends are all telling you how cool they were. , -MADD MAXX Souci's lonely life. It's winter in Ohio, More Litlle Records her boyfriend moved to Boston and The first three are from Fat Wreck became a rockstar: Souci is left waiting Chords. They advertise so whores that for the phone to ring. However. she's we are we review their "product." The not as lonely as she would have, us final two are on the Burnt Sienna label. believe. "(This is your fault.) I fucked a They'll probably advertise next month. boy last night who left me sleepless and sore and hating myself for thinking I deserved it. Hating myself for hoping he'd go down on me." The music back- ing this-girl is simple ggrage pank. Without her they'd be another in the wilderness. With her Pet UFO easily take the prize for the best single of the stack. from some actual California residents. They are from Santa Cruz. The best song is "Free." The lyrics are printed on ' the record cover and "Free" takes the police add the Right To Lifers on. "Keep your morals to yourself. Get Your hands off of me. I'm supposed to be free." Bracket - Stin@ &p?r8 p- Thank you Good Riddance. "PRACKOOSIWWF, Warren's Song 3." The cover is highly original. They COPY Mornin J Glorio - "Towerllkera je the ~~ll~~~stonessticky F~~~~~ and Crowd Pleaser" I expected some kind of call the ep Stinky Fingers. 1 took a box psychedelic music because of the band's cutter and sliced down the zipper to see name. Not even The what was inside. All 1 found was a God Glories don't play psych and it isn't damn record. I think the blade ruined another punk rock record. This single is a sing* used to be radio ready. the record .cause 011 I heard was pop - D~~EOZSIFI- "Tardbaaket/AIIA." punk that reminded me of the Jam. The vocals are a touch abrasive but the A year or two ago when Aaron Warren's Song 3 is the best. it only hooks ore present and the breaks in the (vocalist) quit Decomposers, 1 was dis- lasts about 30 seconds. middle of the songs show that this traught. See. Kelly (bassist) told me group can play their instruments. They without Aaron they would have to aren't copying anyone. Wholly original break up. 1 beggedlike a kid wanting U~ANTE~and refreshing. Countanother Chocula vocalist for and them keep to going.just find Well I don't know why I didn't think of it but , Chopper soon joined the band. I have to admit that I prefer Aaron's vocals over Choppers. but the band is just as good as they have always been. I'am not the best judge of music but I know what I like and I like this seven inch. I wish rt were a full length album but it will do. This IS the first offering of 88 FINGERS LOUIE Decomposers since the reformation with Chopper (there second as of yet) and it 88 Fin~eraLouie - mbn'b- deserves every bit of recognition possi- "Holding Back. Honestly/Blink, Help?" I ble. Wheouer mixed & engineered this had to check the personnel on this one. little doozy did one hell of a job catch- It sounds exactly like the Offspring. Pet UFO - ing Decomposers sound. I am going to How come 88 Fingers Louie aren't on "Pigeon Heavenion Liberty" Pet UFO scratch my copy so I can get the pull MTV and featured in every magazine had their CD reviewed Inthe Oecember punk sound like all of my other early on the newsstand? it's probably SLUG. This is apparently something eighties trashlgarage punk albums. new from them. Souci is the girl singer because they come from Melrose Park, , If YOU haven't ever seen Illinois. If you like the Offspring you and I'm in love. She's a twisted little Decomposers live than it is time you will definitely like Wanted. The high- darling. "Pigeon Heaven" addresses the did. The band still has all the energy to light is a cover of the Beatles "Help!" subJect of six year olds finding dead rock the crowds and get banned from a done in punk rock fashion. birds and taking them off in shoe boxes good portion of the Salt Lake clubs. for burial. A decent burial is required if Next time they play live the . 600d Riddance - Detoyb- a bird wants to reach heaven. "On band for your own copy. take it home. "United Cigar112 Year Circus. Free." Liberty" is more on the subject of get drunk and dance yer pants off. izza Salads Sodas Garlic Rolls

FREE DELIVERY Limited Delivery Available Sebadoh brings the low-tl to the University of Utah Union Ballroom on March 2. Loved by critics everywhere . they have escaped the financia! rewards less deserving musicians receive. An article in SLUG will do little to recfffy the situation, but it might help sell a few copies of their al&ums or convince the public to buy an advance ticket for the show. Lou Barkw is no slouch. In my * high-tech home environment phone interviews are recorded using the lat- est in modern technology. As the recording process began hrlow imme- diately knew what kind of equipment I used. Bbrlow: Would that be a AT&T gray answering machine? SLUG: Yes. how did you know that? Barlowi Someone else used one during an inter- view. With the preliminaries out of the way the interview commenced. SLUG: In several interviews included with the Sub Pop press kit you refer to your father and country musicians. In one interview it's if I sold this song to Billy Ray Cyrus I'd be a millionaire and in another it's Randy read with the members of Sebadoh decide what to play live? Barlow: Travis. Is your father a big country have a lot of literary references. I Well. there's like a fraction of all the music fan? Barlow: Yea. a lot of peo- wanted to ask - have you ever written songs I recorded that we know how to ple are. A lot of middle aged peopk any fiction? Barlow: No,* 1 can barely play as a band. There's probably 50 or are. It's what he listens to when he read. People sort of mdke tkassump- 60 songs that we can play as a band. goes back and forth to work. It's tion that I read a lot because my lyrics We kind of choose between all of those. always on'the radio - modern country are fairly literate. I sort of write in SLUG: How do audiences react to stations. SLUG: He just listens to mod- plain language and I think I make you live. Barlow: It really depends on ern country? Barlow: Yea. the modirn myself understood. Also I wear glasses the place. If we play some smaller country stations don't seem to play and people kind of think that I read a places dawn south people can be really any old ones which is Und of a bum- lot. I don't at all. Ithink if Iever had noisy and get really into it and be real- mer. That's the really sad thing is that to face writing a piece of fiction. I ly noisy. But mostly it's just really there's rally no classk country sta- would just be lost. It takes too much. I incredibly polite peopk standing there tions around here. Iwould bten to also don't think I have much of the ego staring. I'm like are you people enjoy- those. I get really sick of the new stuff to create a whole world out ofjust my ing this? Do you like what's happening cause they all sound the same. It's thoughts - some sort of alternate reali- right now? It's kind of cool because really condescending. ty. I'm pretty much stuck here - stuck there's no kids jumping on top of each SLUG: The cover of your new CD, here in our present reality. Ijust have other or anything like that. Bakesale, features a picture of a baby to write about things that I've felt and Over the course of the conversa- looking into a toilet. I'm sure you've even then I can only manage about tion I learned that Lou Barlow doesn't been asked this before. but is that you? four or five lines about it. I'm pretty make that much money from his Barlow: Sure is. Everyone has nude limited. I can only write like a song's music. His girlfriend. who he reported photographs of themselves. Toilet pho- length about anything. It is easier. he will soon marry, works. He says We tographs as wel. There was one single SLUG: How much of the reams of is psyched to play Sdlt Lake City I saw. I only saw it once about two press written about you do you read'? because the band has never been here. years ago, It was an amazing cover of Barlow: (Laughs) I read all of it if I He almost made it as a member of a single someone put out of a little kid have it. It's a morbid impulse that I Dinosaur Jr, but, the van broke down reaching into the toilet. 1 thought that have. Usually Sub Pop will collect all in Idaho. No rockstar mentality was was such an amazing photograph that of the press that we have and put it all present. I asked my idiot questions and when I found my own photograph I together in the press kit and I will be he answered them as best he auld. was like. hell put it on our front cover. compelled to read the entire thing. It's He's an exceptional musician and song SLUG: I talked to John Fredrick of usually pretty depressing - Wow. I'm writer and also nice guy. I'm psyched the Black Watch the other day. He has a total idiot. Jesus I don't explain that Sebadoh put Salt Lake on their a Ph.D. in English and he was trying myself very well now do I. schedule. The other bands performing to write a novel. He gave it up because SLUG: With all the hundreds of will be God Head Silo, State Of the he found writing songs easier than songs you've written how do you Nation and Stella Brass. Tickets are $8

After thanldng everyone and mclr Cbia pts last month Iapokgize Ibr kbek bands and friends -,Amin would know that one of the "world Runous, rhis column and my drunken sot behavior. lhe m&c fint month of the new unknown in thdr hometown" Salt lake City bonds wus on the way. Who year was spent in a stupor. the causes m too pmerous to bst. TNs shit comes hws, maybe the Rank Khgs would impmsAustin. their music b Mainly liwn someplace and it ain't the "Real World." Wue had some llrn umh the better undmtood in Terns (not NashuIIlej thn it is in Utah. A mimele was "pmbJiorml" music joumdists In tawn the kst sewed monthr. rue had my nakd to send the Rottk Kfnos and it damn near happed. Iam not whining cclnfflkdwith~gosslpandwmprclmtoImtmealiUme.Cctthe w crying, the judges picked the bad hey thought should represent the town. message boys and glrls. It's frec ahmtisiq fbr you. We rrPd your nputabfe Megan kters has many fans in Salt Loke. Some of than are powers in shit and now you & nadiq ours lfonlyb &lfy~wndls mentronod. the locd med& If you mlly mtMegan Pmn and Big leg to how a cham Fulton and Schofl do a hell of a lot mon than un?b about musk and Imatt h Awnn I'd suggest you get beNnd her (figumflwf~r,mt IiMy). Heot up their wok All those wlth complaints about SLUG aneordally InuW to k those phone lines. w& some kttm, send faxcs, ma&eher a press kit, kt a Dear Mhedslitter. IMieue that is whd it's @r.'NMsald Stkklng with ~nknowthatSdtLcdrtbdievesthisisthebwtband1ntownandrhotUn the sissy writers slap fight is rpy one sentenoe analysis of Grid Magaane -it is dQ supports her. Don't sit back and do ncihing...thm neM summer go watch so cutting edge that I requid stitches after Mngit. herbandplayinthesmbanandask"sohow~themp9"Shenowhos The mkaMIIy news was pmy sparse in Janwry. 4Rer IW the rwko- my sumrt and she obviously wasn't my favorite. bllly sightings in the nationd press I'll spew some of my Nbbish on a wrMy Iwas shocked and disappointed to see that neither the Saft lake Tribune of musically related topics and report on the blucs. While kud news is non- nor the RseM News gove the final amptition much ofa revkw. Their &stent national rockaMIly cove* is pic& up in music biz rags. CMJ and pages were Mkd with mon hportwt "news". RemhoPw and Iu~sokiwere Billboard run stories or miews on Ronnie Damand hls new "Amcriean" &th on thejudging panel. M work hord in the "u&rground" to mtethe album. Billboard almost went so far as to pndict a &billy lwival on college keals.Itistnre thatweoulddo betterflfyouwant to hinmeandpoymea radio. That should put some brin the hearts ofMdnlocals, at kmt It should detent wae I'U write about locals ffrll-iime). Too bad the maimbpam can't spwk some ridii of rockaMlly music. Opfon hod a story/lntmrkw lvim hdp out aiwmom. he reason ~a~tlake bty tm nnrer teen reeo(plizod fir Hasil Adkins and another one with Kdly Wllis. A new mogozine, Out*, &dl- IhethrMngmusicscenethptexists herehaslinkto & with theumbrorthe cated to &movies and the moaHEme ofwhlte trash. had an Intewiew with liquor hs. It is the prss, the agathg and the nliam on "fads" that olists In Chkago's Riptones. The issue ineluded s fkxkfk. Wt's a kxidbc?Well, Ks this toum. As this Is wrinen Iam listening to Pot Bopk & the Pro&. ht a piece of plastic that you...never W. gmu up In Pria. Utah. He moved to the Dallashft Worth amto miue the Thenpm~~khhaVoodooSwingtonthlngs~pb,tkheot. mgttllion he desenns. Should Iname others?OK. I'll name one mow. Doesn't I The fhken Heam and Voodoo Swim are on the rodii in Australia - 'world the Chris Ledoux band have former Cow Jon members on board? "Sumrt the famous, unheard of in their hometo&'" It sowds far ROdKd Ibr huo Utah keals" is the chant of the city's lemmings as they dive off Suicide Rock. bands to haw their music played down under, but the work we L to help wr Hen corn the abrupt change of pace. On the blues scene ume the local fbuorites extends for beyond this city. Ckryl Cline prblishes a lie famine Vanguards. an Austin band that bwght the "spihts with them." accordng to calkd Twangin' out of the Sun Francisco ma. She was kind enough to print guita&/wcalistGeorge Rary, In the fPrm of bones strung on a rope in hw of some Utah arrieks. The Broken Hearts, now mmcd the Rank Kings, ond the stah. As usual, whenever Iattend one of thcsc afklrs the audience was as Voodoo Swing had their music micwed in the magazine. Ms. CIfn has hooked enrertaining m the bond (I'm 40ne man show myself Pour a few drinks down up with some pretty good distributors (Twangin' is sold in Tower Record my throat and you'll understand whem all the nkknam come from.). Who in stom, too bod we don't have one here) and she posts the papr to the Internet. heir Mht mind would ask a Texas blues bond to cover "Love Me Tender?" The story is that a guy in Australia read the revkws. told his dlscloekey ~omcoiein the ~eadw au- did atai the vanguards played the song. Mend about them and Ulcy nquestad copks of both Voodoo Swing MI1 you popk please sUck with Port 0' Cull on Soturday nights. Ifyou must see out-ofitown bands try your best to bchoue. Ilike olpreinals. or at Cast obscun MS. Koko Toylor was hot at Abmvoml Hall. Half the mple picking up the Ra tickets didn't bother to show up - how typfcal of Salt lake. Taylor played mostly cover songs - there's a woman who knows her market. White sub- but no one expected to see them there. They made it! lhe Ra* banites - dressed in tkir "caspal." weekday best pumhased at Nordstroms or ,;: Kings turntd in the best set I'ue ever seen them play at the SXSW Wlards - anended to seZ a bar-loom Mues band. The experience was almost finals. They gaue it ewrything they had. lam Jones dressed for the as surdas when Big Sandy & His FlbRite Boys played at Media flay. The bond wandmd cut on tbat huge stage mrd agpeomd totally lost.until mZy started Idcklng out the mcrdc. KoWs mamgcr didn't can when he was. Hc strolled about the stage 6s if' it wen home passing out tWsand going on with his bushes. The Eodest thing of all was when he haurkd Tpylor's latest Gmmmy nominated CD to the oud'mee belbre the band began playing. Yes, it was a blues band, those CD and baseball cap sales provide food money on the come the loss of a fbundiq member and corome.backwith a rood. The show was tight and pmgmrnmed. Koko Taylor and her band are vengeance. l thought they won, pokssionals. Irs only too bad d those fra tickers urmt to waste. : ?? \MOh before the contest tegan I'd heard mOt Megun krswas I'm sun the Gowmor's State of the State oddms was more entertaining. F:.,.2':.::,&: the favorite. Don't start all the bitching and cMng because she still Msup with that anyway?hm are you a complete idiot?The Martin bther King Jr. Memorial was going on and you decide to tak over the tdevi- w3.,%rudws!md to uusplay. selected1is my for opinion tk finals. that kThe mosidkkswssi~Iheard posslb!e was that pone1 of sion? Roof indd that this is Utah. hpkthought Evan Mecham uw bad - .:-man Aeters beat the Rank Kingsh hup polnts. If that is true he didn't want a Manin Luther King Jr. Holiday in Arizona. Utah has one, but &,.... ,:,:.. & upset of the decade ahst-cat& aGt. Covernor Learin would mUter ignon it. Next year giue the tickets to the home- ,..::...... Now I'll fantasize aWwhat might haw been... if the less. The blues is the musk of their lives and the opportunity to get warm fir a Rattle Kings had won. In the wond@d undergruund fkw hours would be welcomed. At least they'll show up! h.,,3 world of rvckablll~and ern-beat musk we klnd.of Issue #4 of hm~sFwss will hit the streets somecime in February. Thr 7 mwrkwith raeh ow. (I komed dl about network- 1 regort on white trash mu& will be auailabk at the usual locations. Cod 1 ing in college ond my sldlls at It pdd ORI have a mrds from all over the world have been meiued and maybe Johnny Angel high paying pbin the mia sectorj The music unll consent to write a column. Ithink I'll review the Shelly Fabares a) nissue. pms and me mdio geneidly ignon the music. *Johnny Angd. how Ilow hlm, he's got something m(II Ican't &st. bvt The only way to find out what is going on u he doejn't ewn know that Iexist. Johnny Angel, how Iwant Nm, how Itingle to read the fanzlnes. talk to the bands, the when he passes by. every time he says hello my heart begins to fly. I'm in writers and the labels to flnd out what is hwvm Ipt carried away. I dnam of him and me and how its goma new and good. Then an liiends, newd be....'^am I love him and Ipray that someday Yll love me and together w labds. and bands down io Austin. will see how lovcly heauen will be." Then is link doubt that the Rank Ialmost forgot the quote. Two "alternatiue girls" were in a chain record Kmgs would haw a 'bun" sup ston. One turned to the other and said. "Ithink I'll go to Woodstoek nxt br." . rounding them before hey Her friend replied, "What is Woodstock?"Here's the mndiiwn a MI arMd. A Rw phone calls, an informed fwd. "what's ~1" amle or two, nemrfdng wth Willie Wheels