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A Biblical Guide to Preventing Teen Suicide

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A Biblical Guide to Preventing Teen Suicide A Biblical Guide to Preventing Teen Suicide A2T_Cover_DISK.indd 1 6/14/18 1:08 PM Alive to Thrive: A Biblical Guide to Preventing Teen Suicide © 2018 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, 8605 Explorer Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of Focus on the Family. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise marked, are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2001 by CrosswayBibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (nasb) are taken from the New American Standard Bible.® Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org). Scripture quotations marked (tlb) are taken from The Living Bible [paraphrase], copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. The use of material from or references to various websites does not imply endorsement of those sites in their entirety. Availability of websites and pages is subject to change without notice. People’s names and certain details of their stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. However, the facts of what happened and the underlying principles have been conveyed as accurately as possible. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data can be found at www.loc.gov. ISBN 978-1-58997-982-6 Printed in the United States of America 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 CONTENTS Introduction ......................................1 Part One: The Best Defense against Suicide 1 Attaching and Connecting to Your Child . 9 2 Practicing Self-Care................................21 3 Providing Loving Discipline .........................31 4 Supporting Your Child .............................41 The 7 Traits of Effective Parenting.....................48 Discussion Questions ..............................50 Part Two: Things That May Make Your Children Vulnerable to Suicide 5 Influence of Worldly Values .........................53 6 Significant Losses .................................61 7 Divorce and Its Effects .............................69 8 Domestic Violence ................................79 9 Bullying and Cyberbullying..........................89 10 Responding to These Issues .........................103 Discussion Questions .............................106 Part Three: Mental Health Issues and Suicide 11 What’s Normal Development and What’s Not . 109 12 Depression .....................................117 13 Anxiety ........................................127 14 OCD/ OCPD...................................137 15 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder ......................145 iv Contents 16 What About Medication? ..........................153 17 Finding a Competent Mental Health Professional ........161 Discussion Questions .............................167 Part Four: Technology and Suicide 18 Social Media ....................................171 19 Sexting ........................................181 20 Overexposure to Traumatic Images . .189 21 Responding to These Issues .........................197 Discussion Questions .............................204 Part Five: Problem Behaviors and Suicide 22 Alcohol and Other Drug Use .......................207 23 Eating Disorders . 215 24 Self-Harm and Injury .............................225 25 Responding to These Issues .........................231 Discussion Questions .............................237 Part Six: Dealing with the Issue of Suicide 26 Suicide Statistics .................................241 27 Signs That Someone May Be Considering Suicide........247 28 Talking Openly about Suicide .......................253 29 Responding to a Suicide Crisis ......................261 30 Keeping Hope Alive ..............................267 Discussion Questions .............................274 Notes .........................................275 CONTRIBUTING AUTHORS Yolanda F. Brown, MA, LPC Christina Chismar, MSW, LCSW Jenny Coffey, MA, LMFT Joannie DeBrito, PhD, LCSW, LMFT Lori Graham, PhD, LPC Patrick Hill, MA, LPCC Danny Huerta, MSW, LCSW, LSSW Elaine Humphries, MS, LMFT Betty Ann Jordan, BSN, RN, MA, LPC Geremy F. Keeton, M.MFT, LMFT Glenn W. Lutjens, MA, LMFT Marina Mayberry, MA, LMFT Roberta Perno, MS, LPC Starla Kay Quinn, PhD, LPC Timothy L. Sanford, MA, LPC Rev. George M. Stahnke John Thorington, LPC, SRT, D.Min. M.T. Wilson, LPC Ricardo Whyte, M.D. Whyte is a psychiatrist who specializes in treating substance ad-dictions, the Medical Director for the Chemical Dependency Unit of Loma Linda University’s Behavioral Medicine Center, and a member of the Physicians Resource Council of Focus on the Family. INTRODUCTION When fifteen-year-old Marcos was released from a psychiatric hospital after attempting to take his own life, he started seeing a therapist. The therapist was Danny Huerta, a licensed clinical social worker who is now the vice president of parenting and family for Focus on the Family. Huerta still remembers this boy from those sessions years ago. After a few weeks of therapy, Marcos told Huerta something that every teen in crisis deserves to hear: “I’m so glad now that I didn’t kill myself,” Marcos said, “because I see that life changes quickly, and I would’ve missed out on some pretty cool things. And I want other kids to know that life doesn’t stay the same forever, that it can have bounce.” Marcos is right. When kids are down, it’s easy for them to think life is stuck there—that “down” is forever. In that state, their minds filter circumstances only in a negative way. But now Marcos realizes that “down” times can bounce to “up” times in a hurry. And he not only wanted to be alive for those “up” times, he wanted to thrive. We want the same thing for every child, especially for those who may be thinking as Marcos did before his suicide attempt. That’s why we’ve created Alive to Thrive. Its purpose is to equip you—parents, teachers, and pastors—to help your kids pursue healthy lives and develop resilience in response to difficult times. For several years, death by suicide among children and teens has been increasing in frequency. According to the Centers for Disease Con- trol and Prevention, the suicide rate among teen girls recently reached a forty-year high.1 The Dana Foundation reports that nine out of ten deaths by suicide have an underlying diagnosable mental health issue.2 That’s a concern, because fifteen million children ages three to seventeen have a diagnosable mental, behavioral, and/or emotional disorder, yet only 3 percent of those young people (three million) actually receive 2 Introduction help.3 A person diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, post-trau- matic stress disorder, schizophrenia, or certain personality disorders has an 8 to 10 percent lifetime risk of death by suicide.4 We want to lessen that risk; we want kids alive—and we want them to thrive. What does it mean to be alive and to thrive? If we look for the defi- nition in the Bible, we learn what it means to be alive in Christ and to have an abundant and thriving life with Jesus. In John 10:10, Jesus tells us “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Being alive in Christ also means that God is with us in our pain, in our sorrows, and in our everyday moments. We find this life through a trusting relationship with God. To thrive means to be free to be the per- son God designed us to be, in our strengths, talents, flaws, challenges, imperfections, and all. God created us to be in relationship. He wants us to experience pleasure, connectedness, safety, happiness, satisfaction, enjoyment, and love through healthy relationships. But as we all know, relationships can also include pain, emptiness, sorrow, betrayal, hurt, and suffering. We hope this resource will help you prepare your kids for those painful times of life. We want to equip you to do all you can to raise resilient kids, kids who can find their way back to the “bounce” in life and to an abundant, thriving life in Christ. Alive to Thrive Is Different Alive to Thrive is not the type of suicide prevention resource that simply offers the warning signs or helps you deal with the aftermath of a teen’s death by suicide. Alive to Thrive takes a truly preventative approach. We discuss issues that we know can lead to suicide, and we teach you how to address them long before your child might ever entertain thoughts of ending his or her life. It’s for this reason that Part One begins with the best defense against Introduction 3 suicide: preparing your children for healthy living. Building a good foundation for your children includes assuring a secure parent-child attachment, practicing self-care, providing loving discipline, and sup- porting your child. Parts Two, Three, and Four explain key issues that can set your child or teen on a trajectory (barely noticeable at the time) toward suicidal thoughts and actions. Part Five describes the major behavioral issues that are red-flag warning signs of potential suicidal tendencies. These behaviors can push teens toward thoughts of ending their lives. It’s Part Six where most
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