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T WEEKLY R“The crisis of journalism is a crisis of conviction.” —Tom Rosenstiel Volume ?,38, Number Number ? 14 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 DecemberMonth Day, 2, 2003Year

Inside Students Starve for Change in First Year Protest of World Hunger Seminars Diversity Affairs of the 30th wanted to stress that the problem CHARLES J. ELLIS annual Oxfam Hunger Awareness of hunger desperately needs atten- Beneficial Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Banquet. Wilson’s compelling tion and that students can cause News...... page 01 introduction to the program set change,” explained Wilson, RESHMA DESAI The UMBC chapter of the stage for an evening of “additionally, we are providing an Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Get the real deal Oxfam America recently held its demonstration as well as educa- opportunity to actually send a on Wood Food, annual Hunger Awareness tion regarding a pressing matter message to local politicians…” All colleges and universi- and one student Banquet, inspiring a conception of world hunger. Students were The banquet was a culmina- ties aim to retain as many stu- writes a novel in of the pressing issue of global treated to an enlightening experi- tion of the Oxfam Homelessness dents as possible and give them thirty days. famine through a creative dining ence at the Nov. 18 “banquet”, and Hunger Awareness campaign the best possible resources. Part experience for students in atten- which engaged guests in a finan- across the UMBC campus two of UMBC’s efforts to these dance. “Tonight, is a metaphor for cial/social class simulation and weeks ago. Students participated ends is a relatively new pro- how food and resources are dis- enforced a message of urgency to in the campaign by “fasting for gram called First Year Seminars tributed throughout the world…” provide assistance in battling charity” in an event entitled “Fast (FYS). beamed Alicia Wilson, Master of poverty on a global level. “This FYS offers a variety of Ceremony and Director of year we [Oxfam organization] see HUNGER, page 4 courses and give students the Opinion.....page 11 chance to network amongst peers, as well as professors, in Debate on Iraq, an environment that helps contrasting views smooth the transition from high of exploration, school to college. “The semi- and tips for holi- nars are open to any first-time day travel. student, not just freshman…even new transfer students can enroll in the cours- es,” said Jill Randles, from the Office of the Provost. The courses are divided into two categories: Academic Features.....page 20 Seminars and “success semi- Stepping into the nars”. Academic seminars carry Holiday Spirit the same weight as any other amid rhymes and class and follow the same for- do-not-buys. mat. “They are three or four credit classes that require as much effort as any other class- es,” noted Zimmerman. Success seminars, on the other hand, are one credit and focus on aiding the college stu- dent on a broader level, rather than focusing on any particular Sports...... page 31 discipline. Such seminars are Men’s Bball wins intended more to familiarize Charles J. Ellis / Retriever Weekly Staff the student with skills such as Battle of Stopping World Hunger One Can at a Time: Sigma Alpha Epsilon collects canned food to be effective studying and time Baltimore again dnoated to those in need. and Swimming is management, said Zimmerman. at George Mason. SCAN@UMBC Addresses Student Also check out: college news...... page 2 Opposition To Tuition Hikes world news...... page 3 classifieds...... page 39 RYAN CARR Statewide Development Director, higher education” in Maryland, Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Nate Kennedy, is to give students a explained Daly. He said that one of “strong, unified voice” against the reasons higher education has four-day forecast The recent 9.4% tuition tuition increases and cuts to higher been cut in Annapolis recently is that Tuesday: sunny, low 23, high increase has become a major issue at education in Maryland. Kennedy, “there is no lobbying from stu- 41 public universities across the state. along with SCAN’s President, Tim dents… how is higher education However, while many students are Daly, and two Maryland supposed to be a priority when Wednesday: mostly sunny, low 22, high 39 no doubt opposed to this increase, Congressmen, Senator Phil Jimeno there’s no lobbying?” He also not all of them are sure how to go and Delegate Jimmy Malone, were pointed out that Maryland is dif- Thursday: mostly sunny, low 28, high 43 about fighting it. The newly-formed in attendance at a conference in the ferent from other states in that, Student Citizens’ Action Network Administration building on Friday, while Maryland colleges offer sig- Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff Friday: showers, low 37, high 47 (SCAN) hopes to change that. Nov 21, to get students involved nificant financial aid to their stu- Students at UMBC have recent- with UMBC’s chapter of SCAN, dents, “there is not enough financial According to Randles, FYS ly organized a chapter of SCAN, a and to give students the facts on the aid to cover financial need.” has been around for two years non-partisan political action com- state of higher education in Some of SCAN’s efforts have now and is successfully expand- mittee based in College Park. Maryland. SCAN’s purpose, according to its “There is a serious crisis for see SCAN page 2 see SUCCESS page 6 Page 2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Decenber 2, 2003

BehindtheScenes College News Community Director Katie College Uneasy About Walrod: New to UMBC Its Future RYAN DORRILL of what she wanted to do in life, so she went Retriever Weekly Staff Writer to James Madison to get her M.A. in educa- (WASHINGTON POST) The rapidly ris- tion with a focus on college student person- ing student population at the College of Katie Walrod, one of the school’s nel. Southern Maryland, coupled with state fund- several new community directors, says After finishing at JMU she came to ing cuts, have begun to threaten the institu- she really enjoys her job working with UMBC for an interview. While here, she got Ryan Dorrill / Retriever Weekly Staff tion’s continued success, college officials said Patapsco’s residents and RAs. Her job the opportunity to meet a lot of students and is, in many ways, to guide students of decided that this was a place where she could A True Newbie: A stranger here her- during their annual report to the Charles self, Walrod identifies with freshmen. County commissioners last week. all sorts through their new experiences feel at home. She really likes the small school Since 2000, enrollment at the community in college living. She spends a lot of atmosphere because she feels that it helps her wanting a friendly ear to talk to, or some college, which has four locations in Southern time training the RAs and guiding them get to know much of UMBC’s diverse popu- cooking tips, should seek Katie out in her Maryland, has risen 26 percent to 20,134 stu- through their experiences as communi- lation. office in Patapsco first south. dents. It is now the seventh-largest undergrad- ty leaders and also mediates everyone As community director, she’s always uate college in the state and home to 59 per- from the desk staff to the new freshman working on new ways to meet the students cent of Maryland undergraduates from students, with whom she has a lot in and staff and get them involved. When she’s Quick Questions: Charles, Calvert and St. Mary’s counties. common. not working on creating new CAB activities But state budget problems have led to Katie herself is new to the UMBC and programs with the RAs Katie is often 1. What is your favorite board funding cuts at the college, lopping off an esti- experience because she just began working on staff bonding. Over the summer game? mated $1.7 million this fiscal year, to the point working here this year. She sometimes on the first day of training she sprained her eats at the dining hall for lunch but ankle during one of the bonding activities. where the school receives 12 percent less “I have two actually. One is ‘Sequence’, money per student compared with three years usually tries to make her own meals for They all get along great now; since then, they dinner. have always teased her about it. a game where you really have to think. The ago. other is ‘Scene It’, the DVD game. I could “We’re looking at a big problem,” CSM “I’ll cook whatever I can without Katie has a lot of hobbies to keep her giving myself salmonella or burning busy when she’s not training RA’s or helping even beat Eric Hoffman [Potomac’s commu- President Elaine Ryan said in an interview. nity director] at it.” “There’s a general erosion of the college’s anything,” she laughs. Like many of students. She likes to work out at UMBC’s the freshmen, she’s trying to improve gym and go bike riding to stay in shape. infrastructure as a result of the budget cuts. 2. Who is your favorite movie When you’re not replacing computers, or rais- her own cooking so she doesn’t have to She’s been on a 60 mile trail ride in Salisbury, ing teacher salaries, or by just doing general rely as much on oft-bemoaned dining but she hasn’t taken her bike off road to character? budget reductions . . . things gradually get hall food. In both of their cases, this Patapsco state park or Great Falls yet: both “I like Mary Katherine Gallagher from worse.” means eating a lot of food out of boxes places she aims to go. “Superstar”. It’s one of those crappy SNL In the annual report presented Monday, and cans. Katie also admits that her real “guilty movies, but it’s funny if you appreciate the Ryan also stressed the positive developments Katie may be new to UMBC, but as a pleasure” is reality TV. character.” at the college. For nine of the past 10 years, community director and dorm resident “I only watch it because it’s funny,” she CSM has ranked among the top three commu- she’s had plenty of experience. She says of her hobby. Her favorite reality TV 3. What’s your favorite place to go received her degree in political science at show is “Real World/Road Rules Challenge” nity colleges in transfer and graduation rates at out on as date? four-year institutions. New credit programs Longwood College in the small town of on MTV, which she has made a fantasy team include a biotechnology degree and mental Farmville, VA. Then, like many of online for. UMBC’s faculty, she decided her first Despite her active life, she’s always will- “I would want to do something fun like health technician certificates. ice/roller-skating or karaoke.” Other programs on the horizon include choice of major wasn’t truly representative ing to make time to talk to students. Anyone studies in studio recording and geographic information technology. The third building on the Leonardtown campus was dedicated last SCAN Battles Tuition Hikes week, and a new Prince Frederick campus is slated to open in January 2005. from SCAN, page 1 degrees, and promised to work to keep “With the exception of funding, we’re already started paying off, however. Maryland universities great. “We are not doing well,” Ryan said. “People are starting to listen, thanks to going to let higher education slip… we But the troubling financial situation has what we’re doing,” Daly said, and went want you to stay in Maryland, we want affected the college in various ways, Ryan on to explain how members of a recent you to work in Maryland, and we want said. There were no pay increases for teachers committee from the state congress have you to make this the greatest state there this fiscal year. More than 20 staff and faculty been visiting College Park and UMBC to is,” Jimeno said. positions are currently subject to a hiring get testimony from students on the issue. Speakers at the conference posed freeze. Rachel MeMullin, the president of many possible plans to obtain more sup- The average financial aid package award- UMBC’s chapter of SCAN, spoke on the port or funding for higher education in ed to students has dropped by more than more immediate impact of the tuition Maryland. Kennedy pointed out that the $2,000 since 1999, and tuition increased $6 increase for students. “These tuition top 81 employees in Maryland higher edu- per credit this fiscal year. Ryan said that some increases threaten the entire UMBC com- cation make almost $14 million a year, teachers have left the college because of the munity… some members of your legisla- which is enough to put 2,000 students lack of pay increases. ture are allowing tuition increases that through College Park. Jimeno expressed “When the teachers are working hard to you, your parents, and your friends can’t his support for a recent bill passed by the make the college successful, as they are, it’s pay,” she said. Next semester’s tuition state congress, but vetoed by the governor, very difficult for them to not see any reward increase “could be around $300, are you that would generate $135 million in rev- for doing that,” Ryan said. “It’s tough to take.” willing to pay that much?” she asked. enue from corporations operating out of The rising student population has also Jimeno, who represents District 31 in state. He added that the governor had furthered the need for new student facilities the state Senate, expressed his sympathies recently taken a second look at the bill. and made it difficult to enroll in some classes, for students having to deal with increased Jimeno also explained that “we have to put Ryan said. She was also concerned that in tuition. “You have been hit, and hit hard, a face to these education cuts, we have to coming years, graduates who want to transfer with very little notice,” he commented. put a face to these tuition increases,” to may have a hard time finding spaces in four- Jimeno also added that, while the current gather support in Annapolis. year institutions, as a recent state study has administration has promised to avoid rais- Malone simply asked, “does anybody projected enrollment in four-year colleges will ing taxes, “As far as I’m concerned, want to play slots?” alluding to the recent increase 30 percent by 2011. tuition increase is just a tax on students.” bill to place slot machines in Maryland “The college is continuing to move for- He pointed out that Maryland is num- race tracks. Malone, the state delegate for ward, but we need some help,” Ryan told com- ber one in the nation in terms of residents UMBC’s district, also offered to help stu- missioners. with bachelor’s degrees, and number two dents interested in going to Annapolis to in terms of residents with graduate obtain free transportation. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 3 Model United Nations Blows Through the Windy City to Attend Conference OLIVER BARANCZYK try in simulated committee sessions. This or lack thereof to certain resolutions pertain- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer year, UMBC’s Model United Nations was ing to that committee’s issues. However, with privileged enough to go to Chicago with two its voting rights retracted, the delegation of Amidst the blustery wind and often- delegations, representing Croatia and Iraq. Iraq waited out the remainder of the confer- World News frigid chill of Chicago, UMBC’s Model Dealing with topics such as world disar- ence merely observing the actions of the other United Nations team put together a produc- mament, the protection of victims of armed delegations. Nations Prepare for tive string of days at the 14th annual conflict, and environmental issues concerning Though a discouraging blow to the World AIDS Day American Model United Nations Conference. the use of renewable sources of energy, stu- team, Croatia used its time at the conference Against many esteemed schools and partici- dents representing Croatia and Iraq were diligently and successfully worked with ROME (AP) - Candlelight vigils, educa- pants, UMBC’s Model United Nations team placed on five committees, each working to many other countries in each committee. tional seminars and torchlight parades were showed its quality and was rewarded for its create and pass resolutions that would work During the closing ceremonies of the confer- planned around the globe Monday to mark work. to alleviate these issues. ence, where awards and recognition are World AIDS Day, while a U.S. delegation Annually held each November in Playing host to 1,200 students from col- given to students and colleges in each com- headed to hard-hit Africa to urge its leaders to Chicago, the American Model United leges all across the country, AMUN saw its mittee, Junior Lisa Lentz and Freshman Greg increase awareness about the deadly virus. Nations Conference (AMUN) is one of the highest participation total in its history and Winger, representing Croatia in the World Athletes were also getting into the spirit: many Model United Nations Conferences many remarked at the success of the confer- Health Assembly Committee, received the The International Cricket Council said that take place throughout the year, with ence. While establishing amiable relations award for Distinguished Delegation at the Sunday that players from Pakistan, New AMUN having become the second largest of with many delegations at the conference, conference. Zealand, West Indies, Zimbabwe, England those conferences, paling in comparison only UMBC’s representatives from Croatia and Serving as a tremendous highlight for and Sri Lanka would wear red ribbons during to the National Model United Nations Iraq also faced several stiff delegations that UMBC at the conference, receiving the matches Monday to show their support for Conference (NMUN) held in New York City brought the level of camaraderie to a pro- award was a great achievement and the AIDS victims. each spring. In its relatively short history, found low for many of UMBC’s participants. Model United Nations team now looks to the The United Nations reported last week UMBC’s Model United Nations team has Those representing Iraq at the confer- spring’s National Model United Nations that 2003 saw more deaths and infections established for itself a favorable reputation at ence hit a large bump only hours after begin- Conference in New York City, where it from HIV and AIDS than ever before, with these conferences. ning the conference, as UMBC found that the will be representing Cameroon. Next more than 3 million people killed and anoth- Traditionally, each school in attendance delegation of Iraq held no voting rights. fall UMBC will be returning to Chicago er 5 million infected. to the conference takes the role of a country in Perhaps the most vital part of the conference’s for the American Model United Nations Between 34 million and 46 million are the United Nations and through the three or activities remains when each delegation votes Conference, as it has the pleasure of believed to have the virus. Accurate numbers four days of the conference, acts as that coun- in its respective committee, giving its support representing the United Kingdom. are hard to come by because of shortfalls in reporting and poor health care in many coun- tries. UMBC Student Finds Time to Write UNAIDS, the U.N. agency that coordi- nates global efforts to fight the disease, said the epidemic was rampant in sub-Saharan 50,000 Word Novel During November Africa and that a new wave of the disease was month,” said Brown. To reach his goal each along. That worked surprisingly well, threatening China, Indonesia and Russia AMY SEGRETI because of transmissions through drug use Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff day, Brown budgeted about two hours and though it resulted in a few inconsistencies, tried to write about 1,000 words per hour. plot threads that never quite went anywhere, and unsafe sex. To try to raise awareness on the African With the stress of looming final exams, “Sometimes I went faster, which was nice, stuff like that.” continent, an 80-member U.S. delegation registering and other woes that college stu- and I stuck to 2,000 words a day pretty Brown’s novel is a mix of a fantasy set- headed by Health and Human Services dents face on a daily basis, who would think faithfully,” said Brown. “Sometimes I had ting with a few ideas one would find in a Secretary Tommy Thompson started a tour of of writing a 50,000 word novel on top of all to stay up until the wee hours of the morn- western. “The world is one that just recent- sub-Saharan Africa on Sunday to asses proj- of that? None other than one UMBC stu- ing to finish that goal, because I didn’t make ly discovered gunpowder, so the natives ects and determine what needs to be done to dent. myself write while the sun was out. At night were doing a lot of killing of one another,” increase treatment and prevent the spread of One day in late October, Mark Brown, is usually when I get stuff done. The sun he said. “The main character is a veteran of the virus. a junior, discovered NaNoWriMo. “One of inhibits my productivity, I think.” one of these conflicts, and he thinks it all “This is a terribly serious problem,” my online friends was talking to me about College students often suffer from dis- sucks, so he tries to forge a new life in a Thompson said at the Frankfurt airport before it,” he recalled. “I said that it was probably tractions such as Instant Messenger or the backwater village, which is where the story heading to Africa. “It is time for all of us, impossible, but she convinced me to try. I internet while trying to write short essays or begins.” especially from America, to do our part to ended up winning and she didn’t.” papers, and Brown was no exception. A Political Science major, Brown prevent it.” NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel “There were always distractions – people thinks of writing as a great hobby. “I’m Across Europe, candelight vigils, con- Writing Month, which takes place every online I wanted to talk to, friends who I proud of what I wrote, especially because I certs, seminars and parades were planned for November. Each participant creates a user- wanted to hang out with, and I never tried know that, without NaNoWriMo, I never Monday, the annual World AIDS Day com- name at www.nanowrimo.org and aims to too hard to block them out. That was never would have written anything like this. It’s memoration, to increase awareness about start writing a 50,000 word novel on Nov. 1 too bad, except the one time I was up until not perfect, and it’s probably not a master- AIDS, educate people about how to prevent and finish by midnight on Nov. 30. 4 a.m, and then tried to wake up at 9 a.m. for piece, but it’s finished,” said Brown. “In the its transmission, and express solidarity with Why the rush to write so quickly? my 10 a.m. class. Didn’t make it that time,” past, I’d often get frustrated and quit with those suffering from it. Many people put “write a novel” on their he laughed, “but that was the only time all any writing after the initial happiness with In Lisbon, Portugal, activists will gather lifetime to-do list and never actually get month I missed a class because of writing.” any given idea.” in the center of the city wearing white masks, around to writing one. NaNoWriMo enables NaNoWriMo has been growing since Brown might try and revise his novel and celebrities will speak to the public about people to write without the pressure of mak- its inception in 1999. There were six win- during National Novel Editing Month, AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. In ing everything perfect by encouraging par- ners in 1999, 29 in 2000, over 700 in 2001, which takes place in March. During Turkey, several workshops and panels were ticipants to “aim low.” It allows participants and around 2,100 in 2002. Three-thousand NaNoEdMo, participants spend 50 hours planned for the week, along with concerts, a to write without obsessing over editing, and six-hundred and eighty winners crossed the editing the novel they wrote in November. festival and parade. also gives them thousands of comrades by finish line this year. “A few parts are a bit redundant so I could Candlelight vigils were scheduled for their sides to commiserate with. “Participating with people definitely probably cut things out, and there are a few several British cities, including Liverpool, Don’t have a computer? No problem – helped motivate me,” said Brown. “We’d other places where I could flesh things out, Birmingham and Manchester, as well as in NaNoWriMo rents out laptops. Don’t have compete with one another to get the most now that I know the plot of the story from the Swedish capital, Stockholm. Torchlight the motivation? Dozens of Author Forums, words out in a certain time frame. Towards start to finish,” said Brown. processions were to illuminate the streets in some specific by state, by genre and others the end, it was a race to see who would fin- Some novelists use their other Swedish cities, including Goteborg on entitled “I Hate Myself and Want to Die” ish first.” NaNoWriMo novel to fulfill their the west coast and Malmoe and Helsingborg and “How to Procrastinate Effectively” help Participants are allowed to write what- dreams of being published. One winner in the southernmost part of the country. participants make it through. ever they want to fill the 50,000 word count. in 2001, Jon F. Merz, had his book The In London, Crusaid, the British charity “It was tough towards the end, but I The website defines novel as “a lengthy Destructor published, and two winners in that cares for people with HIV/AIDS, is host- made it with time to spare,” said Brown. work of fiction.” It also states: “In short: If 2002 sold their books to publishers as ing a performance of a specially commis- The minimum word count recommend- you believe you’re writing a novel, we well. Lani Diane Rich’s novel will be sioned Requiem for World AIDS Day, com- ed by the creators of NaNoWriMo is 1,667 believe you’re writing a novel too.” coming out on Warner Books in Fall 2004. posed by Rowland Lee and performed by The words per day so that participants stay on Brown didn’t get to do any outlining “I don’t think I’ll be submitting [my Fine Arts Sinfonia and Sarah Connolly, a track. “I set my goal to 2,000 words per day, for his story, because he changed ideas for novel] anywhere. The world is not quite principal at the English National Opera. to give me some leeway, because I knew I his novel two days before the contest start- ready for me to be famous,” said Brown would be busier towards the end of the ed. “I ended up making it up as I went with a smile. Page 4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS December 2, 2003 Oxfam America Hosts World Police Log Hunger Banquet Benefit from HUNGER, page 1 share their food with other members of the As of press time, the UMBC Police had not posted an updaed for a World Harvest.” Local organizations group who were actually quite hungry. “If incident log on their website. We apologize for any inconvenience. agreed to pay students for each hour that more people paid attention to this matter, they fasted since the beginning of the cam- and looked outside their immediate life, paign Nov. 17 till the night of the banquet. there would be more support for organiza- “It’s not enough to simply talk about tions like this…” said Ross Dixon, a fresh- change,” said Kristen Cevoli, President of man majoring in physics, who was espe- the Oxfam UMBC chapter, “…by inspiring cially strong-hearted with regards to motivation and providing education about Oxfam’s educational goals for the evening. Registering for Spring these [world hunger] issues, we are insti- “There are too many people out there who gating positive effects on the global com- don’t think there’s a problem, or just don’t munity.” Cevoli explained that the purpose care…they’re so wrong to make an Classes Frustrates Students of the banquet was to demonstrate the strat- assumption like that when they’re the ones AMY SEGRETI myUMBC is heaviest. ification of money and food resources who could be making a difference.” throughout class systems in poverty strick- Oxfam America is an international Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff “STARS is gone and that might also explain the massive overload,” commented en nations. “This is an efficient and suc- development organization dedicated to cre- Does the phrase “internal server error” Jamaila Cohen-Michaelson, a junior. “It cessful way to show students what’s hap- ating lasting solutions to hunger, poverty sound familiar to you? If so, you were proba- seems like this year there have been a lot more pening and how to help,” Cevoli added. and social injustice around the world. bly one of the many students who encountered delays and problems with registration than Students arriving at the banquet were Oxfam is credited as providing financial this frustrating obstacle that stood between there were last year. The system might just permitted entry upon donation of a canned and technical assistance to grassroots students and Spring 2004 scheduling. need an update – I know for a fact that the good instead of a traditional purchasing of groups to support “self-help” community It took Robert Tand, a junior, two hours to number of people using it gets bigger every tickets. Once a contribution was made to development initiatives. Additionally, register after six internal server errors. “I think semester.” the already impressive mound of canned Oxfam advocates among national and inter- it’s pretty outrageous that students should be Tand hopes a solution to the frustration and non-perishable goods, students were national policy-makers, offering sugges- expected to spend between an hour and three will be found quickly. “Surely with the excel- randomly issued a nametag before entering tions regarding humane related public poli- hours registering right before exams,” he said. lent IT staff we have here and the amazing the banquet hall. Each nametag represented cies that address cultural obstacles standing “The current state of affairs is wholly unsatis- wealth of knowledge contained in our faculty, a specific individual confined to either an in the way of ending poverty and hunger. factory.” we should be able find a more robust solution “upper-class” seating section, “middle-class” Most importantly, Oxfam takes the respon- Mike Dorsey, a junior, had a similar that didn’t leave students feeling like they had seating section, or an uncomfortable space on sibility to provide education for Americans experience. “I can’t believe it took me almost just wasted several hours of their life,” said the ground for those assigned to represent about the causes and solutions to world 45 minutes to register for classes thanks to the Tand. “The Poor.” hunger and poverty. great servers here,” he said. “We either need to Michael Carlin, Director of Infrastructure Members of the “upper-class” seating After the majority of guests finished go back to paper and pens or have a room set and Support Services at OIT, has been work- section were treated to a delightful chicken their class specific dinner entrée, Cevoli, up to do this in instead of the whole freakin’ ing with Kirby to investigate and develop dinner, complete with elegant table settings, Wilson, and treasurer for the Oxfam population trying to do it at once.” strategies on some possible options to over- an assortment of beverages, a serving staff America chapter at UMBC Rossi Dom Cirincione, Vice President of SGA come the time-outs during these peak times. and a piece of “rich” chocolate cake for Irobalieva, conducted a moment of silence and a junior, is also frustrated with the length “We are researching a new tool that may help desert. Members of the “middle-class” were in tribute and respect for the communities of time it took him to register. “I kept getting us distribute the database server loads,” said given the luxury of one row of seats, a decent around the world affected by hunger and those internal server errors,” he said. “I Kirby. portion of rice and beans, and drinking water. poverty. Further, the staff proceeded to dis- thought as you earned credits it would be eas- Currently, students are able to register “The poor”, had no choice but to sit on the tribute paper and pens while asking guests ier to get the classes you want, but this semes- from Nov. 17 through Dec. 5 during day and ground in the center of the seating divisions to “take advantage of this opportunity to ter I might as well have been considered a early evening hours. “We are working with the and were provided with small, poorly cooked, write a letter to your local politicians.” The freshman because it took so long for me to Enrollment Management folks to spread portions of white rice and a single cup of staff provided names, addresses and addi- finally get into the classes I needed.” advance registration appointments a bit further water. During the course of the dinner, Alicia tional pertinent information for contacting The Office of Information Technology into the evening to take advantage of UMBC Wilson selected various individuals from political representatives. Additionally, the (OIT) has been tracking the issue very closely work community being off the machines and each class and proceeded to “swap” members staff even declared that they would take since last week, according to Joe Kirby, allowing more dedicated resources to the of the class systems, thereby stressing that the responsibility of sending those letters off to Director of Business Systems at OIT. In the myUMBC requests,” assured Kirby. division between “The poor” and the “middle- various political offices, thereby making it last year OIT has improved the myUMBC There were, however, some students who class” is marginal in the global community affect- easy for students to “get involved.” servers to accommodate increased demands. were able to register with ease. “I didn’t have ed by hunger. To intensify the pressing nature of The positive mentality of the Oxfam staff “The actual error students are seeing now is a any problems registering, but no one wants to Oxfam’s message, a video depicting various hosting the event allowed students to develop bit misleading, and we have our lead web take physics classes, so I’m safe,” said Amy communities throughout the world in a state of a deeper appreciation for the goals of the developer working on a better message,” said Kemery, a junior. poverty was projected onto a huge screen for all organization. The banquet resulted in the col- Kirby. “We are trying very hard to balance our to watch during their meals. The startling images lection of over five hundred and fifty canned The problem is actually a time-out error resources to accommodate the many services left some students pushing away even small goods as well as a decent chunk of the UMBC as a result of the large number of requests and initiatives which are underway,” said plates of rice as a result of the startling footage. student community enlightened and motivat- being queued on the database server. OIT is Kirby. “Our staffs are working very hard to Almost all students in attendance walked ed. “Awareness and education is a huge thing working with Enrollment Management to keep this service acceptable while we develop away with a newfound or enhanced alertness in order to make world change successful,” develop better load-balancing options for strategies for the future enhancements of our of the hunger problem affecting the global concluded Wilson, “I think we made some Advance Registration, the time when traffic to administrative systems.” community. “World hunger is a real issue and progress here tonight.” Only through contin- needs to be addressed,” exclaimed Dereck ued education and support can organizations Stockwell, a junior majoring in Political like Oxfam America continue the fight to rid Science and simulated member of the “middle- the world of Hunger and poverty. Nationwide class” section, “…this is an efficient way to public and student support is crucial for posi- show just how necessary getting involved tively influencing political parties who have should be”. Typically, students of the “upper- the ability to literally initiate changes through class” section embraced the simulated pom- federal action. Without public involvement and posity of the role and at times, refused to general awareness, the pressing hunger prob- donate left-over table scraps to “beggars” lem will continue to consume the lives of attempting to satisfy their hunger. “It’s easy to countless individuals every day. joke around about all this,” said Tommy “There’s an Indian proverb that I relate Pilkerton, a senior majoring in political science to this situation,” said Cevoli, “We will con- and member of the simulated “upper” class, serve only what we love, we will love only “…there’s a larger social issue here and it’s what we understand.” The Oxfam message something everyone should be well aware is clear, getting out, getting involved and of…”. staying involved is the solution to destroy- Strikingly enough, members of “the ing the world hunger problem and becom- poor” had stronger opinions regarding the ing active as a global citizen. For more issue of hunger than students in more information about Oxfam America contact “comfortable dining settings” and in some Kristen Cevoli at [email protected] or visit cases went as far as to band together and www.oxfamamerica.org December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 5 SGA Helping Those a World Away notes people in Africa are still reluctant to dis- CHRISSY GREGG cuss HIV/AIDS and that those who are Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Engineers, Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society, infected face extreme discrimination. OLIVER BARANCZYK as well as the Polish Club into recognition After a 30 minute delay in opening Another challenge in Africa is that almost SGA Student Media Representative by the Office of Student Life. the doors due to logistical difficulties, no one who needs the drug treatments that The Senate elected new Assistant Saturday’s third annual AIDS Banquet control the virus actually has access to Food Services Still in Question Speaker Ryan Bricklemeyer at its last began an evening of exposure to African them. He elucidated that the money raised as the Semester Winds Down meeting, with former Assistant Speaker culture mingled with AIDS education. for SAHA will go to food, medical sup- Kevin Lyons resigning his position as he The event was sponsored by the plies, school supplies, and home care in With time running out on the fall will be unable to act as Assistant Speaker Ethiopian Eritrean Students Association Africa. semester for UMBC, the Student next semester while he studies in Ireland. (EESA) and the African Students Another topic of the evening was a Government Association has continued its Aside from the Assistant Speaker election, Association (ASA) with the support of discussion of how to improve HIV/AIDS dedicated work that has shaped many of the Senate brought a few big issues to the AIDS Needs Greater Education, Love, and education in Africa. Illiteracy and lan- the events and illustrated many of the table, such as a revised SGA Election Support (ANGELS), the Caribbean guage barriers are some of the challenges issues that lie on campus. Although there Policy, legislation on the Procedural Rules American Student Association (CASA), that must be overcome. Another issue is remains only one week until the most of the SGA Supreme Court, and a revised and the Black Student Union (BSU), that many people in Africa, even some of highly unanticipated time of the year, SGA Budgetary Policy. However, each of In her opening remarks, EESA’s the most educated, do not believe that members of SGA have not let that deadline the aforementioned legislation requires a president Haimanot Worku explained HIV/AIDS actually exists; they instead affect their focus. two week reading period, with discussion that this event was started because AIDS blame it on witch craft. One solution is a Both branches have stayed active in for each coming the week of Dec. 8. is a major epidemic in Africa. She movie that is going to be filmed starring the recent weeks, with both the Senate and Perhaps the biggest piece of work that emphasized this with statistics, including an African American actor in Hollywood House of Organizations honing in on many was not brought in to play at either meet- that 38% of adults in Botswana have that shows the impact of AIDS. The pro- of the stagnant food service issues, as in ing was that concerning the Food Services HIV/AIDS and that South Africa has five ceeds from this movie will be used to recent times many facts and figures have here at UMBC. Senate Speaker Chris million people with AIDS, the largest translate the movie into as many African brought the UMBC student population’s Krummel and other SGA members number in the world. languages as possible in order to truly gripes and distaste for Wood food services worked to create a proposal to the Food Dr. Getachew-Feleke from the get the message to Africans. to the forefront. Services at UMBC, outlining the various Society Against HIV/AIDS in Africa The evening also included a speech by With an endless appetite for promo- frustrations and displaying the results of (SAHA), the recipient of the funds raised Professor Lamuse-Smith, the faculty advi- tion along UMBC’s campus, SGA has the food survey sponsored by SGA (see during the evening, was the guest speaker sor for EESA, praising the work of the worked to try and spread its awareness this article, pg 6). With this ongoing test of of the evening. He told his audience that, sponsoring organizations of the evening as semester. With the House of Organizations patience for not only the SGA and students in contrast to AIDS being a chronic, well as a discussion of AIDS facts, tackling a few pieces of legislation in its on campus, SGA is hopeful for future somewhat manageable disease with which Ethiopian, Eriterian, and Oromigna dances last meeting, additional allocations were changes that will better the food services at people can live with for some time in the by EESA as well as dances by CASA and passed along to the French Club, Pakistani UMBC. US, it has a much larger, more rapid fatal- ASA, a fashion show of regional clothing, Student Union, as well as the American ity rate in Africa. To emphasize the nega- poetry readings, a dramatization of a tradi- Institute for Graphic Design. Also coming Questions? Concerns? Want to write tive impact of this disease on the conti- tional Ethiopian and Eriterian Wedding cer- up in the agenda was the acceptance of the the SGA Notes next semester? E-mail nent of Africa, Feleke stated, “Almost 100 emony by EESA, and a mime short story. Perfected Praise Dance Ministry, the Oliver at [email protected] or years of development and progress has In her conclusion, EESA Vice President American Institute for Academic [email protected] to find out more. been lost.” He also explained that, Samarwit-Solomon thanked all of those although the situation has improved, the people who made the evening possible. Survey Assesses Information On Literacy Awareness At UMBC

SUSAN ZAGAR Questions covered in the survey Retriever Weekly Staff Writer included ones on a student’s comfort level in using the Internet and the Two recent Brown Bag sessions for Library for information, such as what the Information Literacy Survey dis- situations would necessitate a student cussed the results of the survey given to asking a librarian for help. The survey UMBC students in September of 2003. also asked students to classify elements “The purpose of the Brown Bag of source citations where they had to sessions is to determine how to address identify the volume number or the date issues raised with the results (of the sur- of a given citation. Other topics brought vey),” said Head of Reference at the up included whether they felt comfort- A.O.K. Library, Teresa Y. Neely. able in detecting biases in articles. The The sessions occurred on Tuesday, final category included the subject of Nov. 18 and Monday, Nov. 24 at the ethical standards, where students would Albin O. Kuhn Library and Gallery. say in which situations they would cite a The survey evaluated a student’s source. ability to obtain, organize, and under- Participants, who took the survey of stand the information needed for a given 51 questions, were mainly students assignment. It also focused on a stu- majoring in departments of Biology, dent’s ability to judge an article as Computer Science and Engineering, biased or not, as well as whether he or English, History, and Psychology. Stephanie Potter / Retriever Weekly Staff The target population included she understands the legal and ethical Planning for the Future: Task Force reviews the results of the Information issues while using the sources. These are mostly freshmen (152 students) and Literary Survey. the main information literacy standards transfer students enrolled in certain of the Association of College and courses. Students were able to log on environment.” Some students admitted the survey, students can go to Research Libraries (ACRL). and take the survey through their UMBC that they might add information to their http://aok.lib.umbc.edu/reference/infor- UMBC’s Literacy Task Force organ- accounts. In all 424 students logged on papers or reports without giving credit to mationliteracy/infoliteracy.php3 . ized the survey in order to assess infor- and responded to the questions. the authors, such as in a case where they Students can obtain a copy of the mation literacy at UMBC. One result of the survey concluded were using information from a personal Executive Summary here, along with the “Assessment and the development that students usually search on the web website. individual findings for English and of an information literacy survey are a before they go to the library to research The Information Literary Task Force Biology sections. significant part of the information litera- a topic. recommended workshops for faculty in The UMBC Information Literary cy program,” said Neely. According to the UMBC Literacy designing “information literacy friendly Task Force includes Teresa Y. Neely (Head The main goals included determin- Survey- 2003 Executive Summary, pre- assignments,” as well as having students of Reference), Jessame Ferguson (Head of ing a basis of the skills UMBC students pared by the Information Literacy Task discuss results with librarians, so they can Circulation and Media), Michael Romary have in terms of information literacy, as Force, “there are still a significant number create a plan for “future instructional (Reference and Instruction Librarian), well as using the results of the survey to of students who clearly cannot or will not needs.” Simmona Simmons-Hodo (Service help develop an information literacy apply the basic principles of ethical infor- For more information on the results, Development), and Kathy Sullivan program for students, faculty, and staff. mation use in their role in the academic recommendations, and future directions of (Reference and Instruction Librarian). Page 6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS December 2, 2003 How to Succeed in College

from SUCCESS, page 1 The course, titled FYS 101A: “The pur- ing. “We’ve gotten great feedback from suit of Wisdom in Everyday Life: both students and faculty…the profes- Montaigne’s Essays in Postmodern sors really enjoy teaching the seminars,” Times”, is a study of the works of said Randles. Next year, seventeen pro- philosopher Michel Montaigne. “In this fessors will be teaching in the program. first-year seminar you will explore sev- “[FYS] offers [first-time students] the eral philosophical approaches to the opportunity to acquaint themselves with conduct of your everyday lives. By the UMBC and form friendships with other end of the semester, you should have a students and faculty members as they basic understanding of a number of adjust to college,” Randles added. philosophical models of conduct as they Each class contains approximately relate to your own cultural beliefs, twenty students, so everyone has the habits, and behavior in relation to oth- opportunity to get to know everyone ers,” wrote Moorjani in the course syl- else. Likewise, the professor is able to labus. know the students even better and cre- One of the goals of FYS is to “build ates a valuable relationship with them a sense of community,” noted that both parties can benefit from. Zimmerman. Teaching the classes Angela Moorjani, professor of mod- requires a tremendous amount of work ern language and linguistics, began on the part of the professor, but it is well teaching her first seminar this semester. worth it, added Moorjani. Healthiness of Campus Food a Weighty Issue

AMY SEGRETI food provider to 12,000 students took that Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff seriously,” said Stewart. Nutritional information can be found on Seventy-five percent of the UMBC the UMBC food website under Menus and community is not happy with the amount of then by clicking each specific station and money they spend on food in The Commons, scrolling down to the nutritional information but some may be investing their cash in big- link. However, information for The Original ger belts and pant sizes as well. Grille, Rappz, Sunset Strips, Marketfresh David Hoffman, Coordinator of and the Dining Hall is not listed. Leadership and Engagement Initiatives at the “Most of Wood’s nutritional information Office of Student Life, presented Wood is listed on their website, but the problem is, Company’s nutritional information in com- nobody actually reads it before purchasing Residential Life Paraprofessional Staff parison to notoriously unhealthy fast food food at The Commons or eating in the Dining restaurants at an SGA meeting last Tuesday Hall,” said Stewart. “We (SGA) do not want Chesapeake Shruti Kashyap Kandice Bagwell Kelly McGovern Sarah Blum Erin Kelsey Brenton Snyder Melissa Welsh (see chart, right). “The resounding response to outright support a boycott but we want Anton Geisz Jr. Sean Lindsay Oluseeni Komolafe (DM) from the members present at that meeting people to make informed decisions.” Truc Nguyen Candice Mach Hillside Patricia Pflug Renee Mawhinney Richard Akwo Susquehanna was one of disgust,” said Mark Stewart, a According to Berninger, getting nutri- Karim Said Temitope Oriola Michelle Caple Moran Avneri Melissa Vecera Surili Sutaria Madie Eshete Dan Furman super senior and Representative of the SGA tional information to students has been a goal Jeanine Watson Patrick Vongchan Joshua Hill Ashley Gordon House of Organizations. that Wood has been trying to achieve for a John Scranton (DM) Phillip Watkins Mary Pfeiffer Lisa Hammett Gary Williams Kavita Sahai Karyn Knapik Among other food options, a Calimex while. “We have not been successful at mak- Erickson Nina Stanziale Rishi Ratawani Terrace Chicken Burrito from Salsa Rico has 1,050 ing the information available in a cost-effec- Olesegun Aranmolate LaKeisha Wright (DM) Alethea Venida Tiffani Bright Ian Craig Bridget Akintunde (DM) calories and 47 grams of fat, which is more tive way, but it is something that we have Christopher Cormier Jamie Dekowsky Patapsco Eric Cornell Melanie Lardiero Mae Anglo Maintenance than half of the government-recommended been diligently working on,” said Berninger. Nathan Howell Corrin McCann Edna Cruz Assistant Staff Tiffany Melbourne daily calorie intake, and over two-thirds of SGA President Scott Nicholson has long Tiffany Knott Vanessa Jimenez Joba Adekanmbi Alexandra Mickler Naseem Razavi Ben Newton the recommended maximum daily fat intake. since had concerns about the food services Christina Wise John Burke Caroline Northrop Haiku Sikka John Byer Catherine Tran Stephanie Sumedi Most people would consider salad a healthy on campus. SGA surveyed over 500 mem- West Hill Stef Chaillou Erika Whicker Robert Tand Patrick Creeden choice, but the Italian Chopped Salad at bers of the campus community at random on Lacey Johnson Jason Woody Jamaal Thomas Sekou Gordon Oluwatomi Oyegoke Rebecca Zegas Asia Malik (DM) Brian Grahe Jazzman’s Café contains 643 calories and 56 Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2003. Results showed Jameela Roberts Eric Harden Derek Stockwell grams of fat. that students are moderately dissatisfied with Harbor Potomac Wassem Juskiem Manolito Torralba Tara Blair Barbara Benda Ero Omole Oscar Berninger, Head of Wood the quality in both the Dining Hall and the Angela Williams Jennifer Bonass Louise Carbonneau Ope Onibokun Justin Costa Maritza Herrera Lester Purnell Company, noted that the food offered on Commons. It was also noted that only about Saarim Hakim Walker Avenue Pam Hobbs campus has more weight than, for example, a half of students feel that they are getting Alex Herrera Jamiel Dawson Jimmy Howard Jr. Miho Kashima Safia Ghanim David Maron cheeseburger at McDonald’s, and therefore value for what they pay in the Resident has more fat per ounce. Dining Hall, and over three-fourths of stu- Desk Staffers But students still feel Wood doesn’t dents feel they are not getting value for what offer enough healthy choices. “This is they pay for in The Commons. Chesapeake Lynne Ruchlewicz Anusha Natarajan Alyssa Barton Erin Callahan Sharelle Stagg Augustine Nwachu Michelle Brennan entirely unacceptable and both students and “The food in the Commons is sub-par at Rosemarie Capozzi Alex Vuolo Nnadozie Onunkwo Lori Brenner parents need to know this information,” said best, in addition to it being overpriced, espe- Marina Gabriel Jackie Wheeler James Singleton Sherwin Brown Nicholson. cially when you don’t have a meal plan,” said Andy Glass Natasha Wilson Jacqueline Smith Jimmy Damaska Erika Jennings Ayla Harris Amy Kemery, a junior, agrees. “I’m a Edward Rausch, a junior and commuter. “I Jennifer Lapkowski Harbor Terrace Autumn Johnson vegetarian and have health-nut tendencies, would much rather eat at a place like Subway Nicholas Lenzi Barbara Fowler Justin Blumberg Rani Murray Lindsay Mannchen Justin Getka Lauren Canlas Elyssa Ow and until they get decent food, I refuse to eat than Subversions, but I spend 13 and a half Eric Smallwood Tamara Jean Joshua Cohen Nic Takemoto here,” said Kemery. hours here on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I Aye Win Amy Segreti Roxana Martinez Yewande Komolafe Stewart intends to hand out copies of the have no choice but to eat here.” Brandy McDonald Chisaka Maguswi Erickson Tishawna McGowan Potomac nutritional information to students, faculty, Dom Cirincione, Vice President of SGA Ryan Bricklemyer Matea Pender West Hill Grace Abbey staff and anyone else likely to purchase food and a junior, hopes that something can be R. Cadell Cook Stacy Praniewicz Oluwaseun Adoroja Toyin Adebona Chris Follin Wes Quattrone Mary Norris Yasmin Fields on campus. “I will do this because grabbing done to provide healthier choices for the Leanne Foster Chanelle Schneider Maria Parson Shannon Galvin a Nut Turnover from Jazzman’s, which has community. “This is an issue that affects a Stephanie Swords DeLeon Gray Matt Gitt Kristina Smith 99 grams of fat and 27 grams of saturated fat, number of different groups on campus: stu- Emily Junod Cara Wettlaufer Lauren Stillwagon Angela Henderson Mike Karabinos Annie Lawver or not knowing that a tuna sub from dents, faculty and staff. Everyone should Bryan Kelly Susquehanna Hillside Omolola Osanyintolu Subversions has twice the fat and saturated take an interest in this,” said Cirincione. Ciara McCaffrey Vasanthi Abraham Ebonie Bland Michelle Rose Nana Oppong Temitope Akinsade Kola Oyegbile David Spencer fat of a tuna sub from Subway could kill “Being a resident student here at UMBC, it Jen Plummer Amber Ballard Nitin Sardana Alexia Van Orden you,” he said. Diabetes and obesity are concerns me that my choices for healthy Danielle Polite John Foster Lie’Ann Van-Tull becoming increasingly critical problems in alternatives are limited.” Nicole Reichart Chris Howard Patapsco William Young Sarah Ritter Ashley Mentlik Sarah Barbee America. “It would be nice if the exclusive see FOOD, page 9 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT Page 7 Page 8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 9 Students Heavily Concerned About Food Options from FOOD, page 6 However, Berninger points out that given the alternative, students will more than likely choose the unhealthy option. “We have foods that are very healthy and nutri- tious and yet if we serve chicken patties for a generous serving? lunch, 85% of the students will choose that anyway,” he said. “We serve several boxcars full of french fries every year, and we serve All of the examples listed below are a-la-carte Government recommendations based on a 2,000- that many because students eat that many. items (no chips, no rice, no other side dishes): calorie diet recommend a maximum of 65 grams We try to make them as healthy as possible of fat and 2,400 mg of sodium per day. by using canola oil to fry them in, but there’s still fat.” Salsa Rico At the slide-through area at The Jazzman’s Cafe Original Grille, general options include a Calimex Chicken Burrito: 1,050 calories, 47 grams of fried chicken sandwich, a garden burger, a fat, 3,560 mg of sodium. Nut Turnover: 1,277 calories, 99 grams of fat, 526 mg chicken cheese steak, regular cheese steak of sodium and a grilled chicken sandwich. Berninger Fajita Steak Burrito: 1,104 calories, 56 grams of fat, notes that the most popular items are the 2,019 mg of sodium. Italian Chopped Salad: 643 calories, 56 grams of fat, cheesesteaks, the burgers, and the fried 2577 mg of sodium chicken sandwiches. Least popular are the Nachos with Grilled Chicken: 1,119 calories, 65 grilled chicken sandwiches and the garden grams of fat, 1,070 mg of sodium. Mediterranean Smoked Turkey Sandwich: 928 calo- burgers. “It’s a question of serving the eating ries, 67 grams of fat, 2,455 mg of sodium habits of the people,” said Berninger. “There Two Vegetarian Tacos: 960 calories, 48 grams of fat, is a lot of fat in pizza. But if we serve less 1,464 mg of sodium. Blueberry Muffin: 525 calories, 20 grams of fat, 629 cheese, students complain that they want mg of sodium. more cheese.” Baja Chicken Burrito, “Enchilada Style”: 1,314 calo- Some members of the community feel ries, 64 grams of fat, 2,576 mg of sodium that compared to other schools, UMBC Just for comparison, here are nutritional values offers decent food choices. “Comparatively for some notoriously unhealthy food offered at speaking, the quality of the food at UMBC is Subversions fast food restaurants: pretty good,” said Brian Wallace, the Assistant Community Director of Erickson 12” Tuna Salad Sub: 1396 calories, 82 grams of fat, Hall. “I’ve been eating here since 1997, and 3,194 mg of sodium Burger King Bacon Double Cheeseburger: 580 calo- I’ve seen the changes in atmosphere and food ries, 34 grams of fat,1,270 mg of sodium. selection. Even if I don’t enjoy the day’s 12” Meat Lovers’ Sub: 1710 calories, 98 grams of fat, selection, I appreciate the friendly and hard- 4,806 mg of sodium McDonald’s Big Mac: 600 calories, 33 grams of fat, working staff.” 1,050 milligrams of sodium. Andy Gotsch, a freshman, sometimes 12’’ Meatball Sub (with cheese): 1532 calories, 82 wonders about his food. “Well…” he grams of fat, 3,900 mg of sodium Kentucky Fried Chicken Extra-Crispy Breast + thought, “at least it’s edible. It goes down Drumstick: 620 calories, 38 grams of fat, 1,650 mg of ok. God knows what happens after that 1102 calo- 12’’ Turkey Sub (with cheese and mayo): sodium. though.” ries, 50 grams of fat, 2,980 mg of sodium SGA is currently putting together a for- Taco Bell Beef Burrito Supreme + Chicken Soft Taco mal proposal to present to Food Services 12’’ Promo Grilled Chicken Caesar Sub: 1,544 calo- + One Order Cinnamon Twists: 790 calories, 29 next semester, and the issue will be open for ries, 106 grams of fat, 3,898 mg of sodium grams of fat, 2,030 mg of sodium. the House of Organizations to discuss at this evening’s meeting. Libertarians Argue Effects of Globalization on the Environment and Trade Market

JOE MAHER salary laborers working in domestic gle most destructive process in the the forum with a better understanding of Retriever Weekly Staff Writer industries. These steady wage increases world.” Bailey explains the globaliza- how globalization can conform to their significantly contribute towards the tion has quadrupled the world’s food political beliefs. A group of UMBC students were development of a poor country. Bailey supply, a technological progression that Rob Crow, speaker of the house of exposed to the benefits of globalization also suggests that this economic and has saved over 1.5 billion acres of land organization for the SGA, explains how during the Globalization Forum, organ- social progression will help to improve that would other wise be destroyed by the presentation allowed him to further ized by the UMBC libertarians as part of human rights issues such as education farming. Bailey also presented trends ground his libertarian beliefs. “I already National Homeless and Hunger for woman and reduced child labor. suggesting that countries are able to agreed with a lot of what [Bailey] said,” Awareness Week. Bailey also explained the impor- decrease water and air pollution after Crow explains. “He was really good at Ronald Bailey, Science tance of Trade Liberalization, which will they have accumulated a specific level bringing up the problems with the nar- Correspondent for Reason magazine, allow developing countries to more eas- of wealth from international trade. row-minded approach of the environ- presented arguments concerning the ily compete within the markets of devel- Bailey also touched upon what he mentalist movement.” effects of globalization on foreign labor- oping countries. The globalization considers to be the single draw back of Richard Goldman, President of the ers, developing countries, and the global movement includes the reduction of sub- globalization; the deterioration of cultur- UMBC Libertarians, expresses his satis- environment. sidies and taxes, which act as barriers to al diversity. Although Bailey recognizes faction with the globalization forum. Globalization is a cross-cultural international trade. Bailey advocates the loss of cultural diversity to be a prob- “There are a lot of misconceptions about economic trend that requires open trade that decreasing subsidies in developed lem, he considers it to be a small sacri- globalization.” “I think that this presen- across a global market. Although global- nations will level the playing field for fice for the individual choices created tation helped to provide a realistic pic- ization has become notorious by allow- developing world to compete in global through globalization. “Globalization is ture of the way globalization is moving ing large corporations to exploit the markets and generate wealth. the only way to make hundreds of mil- and the benefits that it can bring.” cheap labor of developing countries, Bailey also advocated that global- lions of poor people rich,” Bailey claims. Goldman explains that the objective Bailey argues that the introduction of ization is preventing large-scale envi- “I don’t mean rich in terms of greed but of the forum was to invite any open- large multi-national corporations ronmental destruction by supporting I mean it in terms of opportunity.” minded students to develop an opinion on (MNCs) into poorer countries offers breakthroughs in agricultural technolo- Throughout the presentation, skepti- globalization. “I think its important to get social and economic progress for its cit- gy. “Hungry people pose the largest cal activists in audience were persistent the discussion going so that you can eval- izens. Bailey argues that sweatshops threat to the environment,” Bailey to question Bailey’s arguments. Despite uate your opinion and test it against other workers typically receive double the explains. “Subsidiary farming is the sin- this conflict of beliefs most students left peoples knowledge,” Goldman explains. Page 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT December 2, 2003 Page 11 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY December 2, 2003

Is it time to bring the troops home? 02

No one is winning the war on drugs 02

How are you planning to get home for break? 03 Opinion How to get the most out of exploitation 05 ’Tis the Season News Flash! This just in: the Christmas craze has begun! In case any of Letters to the Editor you campus-dwellers missed it, the holiday season is in full swing. Stepping Letters to the Editor must be typed or written legibly and include the author’s name and telephone number. The into the outside world this past weekend may have been a shock for some stu- author’s name may be withheld upon request. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may not exceed 400 dents; spending all of your time on a college campus, there is potential to miss words. Letters should be e-mailed to [email protected]. out on the myriad opportunities to be bombarded with the holiday spirit (and, of course, the commercial rush). Editor’s Note: The Retriever Weekly is currently in suspended production. This issue is the last of the semester. Check out Students without transportation on campus may have had the joy of expe- The Retriever next spring and let us know what you think of our brand spankin’ new layout. riencing for the first time this season the mall-turned-winter-wonderland, com- plete with cheesy Christmas music, strung garlands, stuffed Santas, and ever- Dear Editor: lovable take-the-last-toy-and-I’ll-shoot-you Moms. Those students without TVs on campus may have had the opportunity to catch up on their holiday How Much for a Cap & Gown? commercials, soaking up the endless stream of warm fuzzies and Santa jokes before they disappear for another few weeks of studying. Been sticking to In reaction to reading Reshma Desai’s article “Trying to Graduate in Four Years?” refuses to address the most impor- MP3’s on campus? Then hopefully this weekend you had time to spend a few tant issue. Ecconomics. It is economically advantageous to create an atmosphere by which it almost virtually impossible to hours listening to one of several all-Christmas radio stations. (If you missed it, graduate in four years. Four years equates to eight semesters. Eight semesters will cost $26,400. The average credit hour don’t worry; they’ll be playing the same 30 songs over and over until requirement to receive your bachelor degree in anything is 120 credit hours. The average student would have to take 15 December 26th.) And, of course, most of us were alerted to the holidays with- credits per semester, two semesters each year, in order to graduate in four years. out malls, TVs, or radios, just by taking a glance around the neighborhood. It How do you draw more money into an academic institution? One, have your professors pile the work on, knowing seems that every year, people get more impatient and ambitious, filling every full well that students who attend a state school are not senator’s sons or daughters and work for a living. Now the students available space in the yard with inflatable Grinchs and manger scenes, days or can only successfully complete their academic requirements by taking the minimum required credits (twelve credit hours) weeks before Thanksgiving. to qualify for financial aid. This keeps the student on campus longer and also drains the federal government loan programs. So, for those students who’d just as soon be without the Christmas craze, because you don’t celebrate it or don’t like it or disdain the com- Next, as other student’s in the article cited, they cannot take the courses they need to graduate because they are not mercial: live up these last few weeks of isolated living and prepare yourself offered on a regular basis. I am a Statistics/Mathematics Dual Major; therefore my plight is even worse. My required cours- for the Santa invasion. For those who have been anticipating the hustle and bus- es in Statistics are offered every other year. The claim is that there are not enough students to offer required courses every tle since Halloween ended: be patient, my friends; the 17th is not far away. year. Appealing to your sense of logic, this means that in order to maintain full time status and maintain your government funding, one must take courses in other fields while waiting for your required courses to come around. On Not Going Home for the Holidays The week before Thanksgiving was a time when college students got What’s a student to do? While you’re waiting, take up a minor, or how about three minors and a Dual Major. Now excited to go home. Many were anxious to re-unite with distant friends, par- you’re in for six years of study. ents, and significant others during that day of turkey and football. What is the cost? Six years is 12 semesters, only most students can only produce their best work with a twelve credit Unfortunately, this hope and anticipation is not universal, for some of us didn’t load. For sixteen semesters the grand total of $36,600 being optimistic. make it home during the holidays. You might suspect that most of those not going home were international Just one more hitch. The federal government has an aggregate loan limit of $46,000 to earn a Bachelor’s students who don’t observe our holidays anyway. Still, it is likely that they miss degree, no strings, just pay it all back that’s all. This is how the institution makes money and most schools are their home as much as everyone else. And there are those of us who live in the doing the same thing. My hat’s off to you! You sure know how to make a buck! states and still wouldn’t be going home. It isn’t by choice, either. The distance and cost of going home for us is simply too prohibitive. Time Christopher Paul spent at hectic airports waiting on the busiest day of the year, or trying to drive A Left-handed Newspaper cross-country all the way back simply is too stressful and too costly for some of us. Instead, the lucky ones of us got to go home with a friend who lives near- see LETTERS, page 18 by and crowd in on their family celebration. It was disheartening to hear people talk about how they were so glad to finally be able to go home, knowing that we wouldn’t get to share in that joy

E The Retriever Weekly staff edi- ourselves. It isn’t that there is an overwhelming sense of bitterness or hatred ETRIEVER torials reflect the views of the edito- towards those that get to go home; rather, it’s simply the contrast of the two sit- H rial board; signed columns and uations which made us feel a little left out. T WEEKLY R advertisements represent the opin- So what can be done about this problem? Only one thing really: for those Edtior in Chief ...... R. Eric Thomas ions of the individual writers and Managing Editor ...... Nick Chrest that do get to go home on Thanksgiving, or any other holiday, just remember advertisers, respectively, and do not that there are those of us who won’t be with our loved ones. Then, perhaps you Business/Advertising Manager...... Brett McKenzie necessarily reflect those of The Assistant Business Manager...... Elliot Gerlach won’t take for granted the gift of just being able to see those people, even if for Retriever Weekly or the University just a short while. News Editor ...... Amy Segreti of Maryland Baltimore County. Assistant News Editor ...... Joseph Howley Letters to the Editor are printed Nobody Doesn’t Like Personal Hygiene Opinion Editor ...... Amber Sampson verbatim, although the editors Assistant Opinion Editor ...... Mary Kate Bukowski “Hey baby, is it hot in here, or is it just my breath?” reserve the right to edit any letter Look, the semester’s almost over and for some reason, you think you’re Features Editor ...... Kaidye Hansen deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous Assistant Features Editor...... Phil Watkins the only one busy studying for final exams and banging out final papers. Yeah, or otherwise in need of revision. well, you’re not. You really wanna write something? Dissertation this: the Sports Editor ...... Andrew Chaney The editors further reserve the right Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones importance of toothpaste and its function in 21st century American society. not to print any letter for any rea- Just because you roll out of bed a little on the late side for your 8:30 or Assistant Photography Editor ...... Anita Field son. Letters to the Editor must be Production Manager ...... James Hamilton 10:00 or 4:00 class does not mean that you reserve the right to breathe without typed or written legibly and include downing a little Listerine first. As difficult as it is for you to believe, a flash of Production Assistant...... Wai-loon Chan the author’s name and telephone Production Assistant ...... Vasanthi Abraham your plaque covered, gingivitis filled, pearly off-whites is not as good for oth- number. Letters must be received ers as it is for you. Production Assistant ...... Noel Mueller by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may Production Assistant ...... Evan Wiegand Think you may be good to go without a dental once-over? Here’s the two- not exceed 400 words. step test: (step one) cup your hand in front of your mouth for a “Tic Tac” com- Copy Editor...... Patrick Bladen The Retriever Weekly publishes Illustrator...... Christina Ralls mercial-inspired breath check; and (step two) use that hand to smack yourself weekly on Tuesdays during the reg- in the head if you think you can last a day or four sans teeth polishing. Technology Manager...... Rick Carback ular school year. Editors can be Assistant Technology Manager ...... Paul Swenson Atoothbrush full of minty goodness is the way to start your day. You know reached at (410) 455-1260 during you want to. Seriously, dude, we can smell your breath stank from all the way Webmaster ...... Aaron Stahl normal business hours or at Circulation Manager...... Adam Driscoll o’er here. And it’s not the good kind of stanky. University Center 214; 1000 And actually, while you’re on a clean kick, howsabout a shower? And a Assistant Circulation Manager ...... Micheal Caputi Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, Faculty Adviser ...... Christopher Corbett change of clothes? Oooh, clean underpants! Maybe we were being narrow- MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly minded about your odors; they could very easily be emanating from all over Administrative Adviser...... Dr. Patty Perillo is an equal opportunity employer. Check us out online:trw.umbc.edu you, not just your oral cavity! Learn, love, bathe, change, and brush. Remember: cleanliness is next to godliness, which is right up there with coolness. Page 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION December 2, 2003 Point Counterpoint American Inhabitation Is No Longer Justified Iraq: Finishing What We’ve Already Started believe that this was an unjust war on his the world if we didn’t. JOHN LIPKA part. We have been there for eight months WILLIAM ENGRAM First, all our allies (few they may be) are Retriever Weekly Staff Writer and still no WMD have been found, and now Retriever Weekly Staff Writer screwed. Second, the boatload of countries Bush and the Congress have authorized $87 that didn’t support us in the war begin a Now, let me start off by making it clear billion of American taxpayer money to go All right, it’s true. We stepped in. We litany of I-told-you-sos. Remember those that I am not a liberal, Democrat, leftist or towards Iraq. had no business invading a sovereign country freedom fries? They sound even stupider one of those people who goes to anti-war We are not the world’s police officers as and flouting the rule of international law and after you say that we ran away like small rallies complaining about how much they liberal interventionists yada yada yada. children. Finally, and perhaps most impor- hate Bush’s policies. However, I do think it would like and we are Fact is, we did it, tantly, there are very real people over there is time we brought the troops home. not the world’s and all the whin- whose only hope of leading decent lives is I originally supported the war for four enforcers as neocon- ing in the world America following through on its responsi- reasons: 1) I admired how Bush stuck up to servatives would like. won’t undo it. bilities. the UN and France, 2) I was disgusted by the America should only Now, keep- So what’s a world superpower to do? A anti-American attitudes coming from the use its military for ing that in mind, lot of people say, “Screw it; if the rest of the radical left, 3) I thought I was being patriot- national defense, pro- no one’s sug- world wants to do something about it, they ic, and most importantly, 4) I thought that we tection against inva- gesting that we can go for their guns.” Yes, that is an option, had gone to war to defend our national secu- sion, and to quell an take on Iraq as and since the first two World Wars were so rity from Hussein’s weapons of mass insurrection, which the 51st state; far much fun, we should seriously consider that. destruction (WMD). are its constitutional from it. As the Right. We could also try to make this the Seeing how we have been there for functions. The United Times reported world’s problem, getting more of anybody eight months and no weapons of mass States should not go on 11/18, we’re else’s troops in and more of ours out. Well, destruction have turned up, it turns out we around invading other doing our best to that would work, except that other countries have invaded a country that at this time nations and forcing give them the won’t touch this issue with a ten foot pole. poses no direct threat to us, despite the bru- democracy on them, government and No, I think the only reasonable and tality of its former dictator. and it should not go run like hell. responsible thing for us to do is stick it out American soldiers are getting killed on policing other nations’ Courtesy of www.mafqud.org Well, maybe and try to rebuild these people’s world. As a weekly basis in Iraq in what is known as conflicts. look like we’re they say: we broke it, we bought it. the Sunni Triangle region of the country; I running. Everybody knows G. Dubya isn’t feel this may turn into another Vietnam. I do John Lipka is a staff writer for The going to let Saddam pick back up where he William (Mike) Engram is a staff writer not believe that Bush invaded Iraq for its oil, Retriever Weekly. He can be reached for left off, so I think it’s obvious we’re going to for The Retriever Weekly. He can be reached as those on the left would say, but I do comment at [email protected]. maintain a presence there. In fact, imagine for comment at [email protected]. Bolivia: America’s Other War JOHN ELLIS that drove Sanchez from power to end Retriever Weekly Staff Writer extermination. He also faces immense pressure from the U.S. to continue it. When I proposed this article, I wanted To me, the U.S. efforts in Bolivia have to talk about a foreign war the United been out of line. Riots and demonstrations States is embroiled in that shows no signs have shown the will of the majority of the of progress and costs the American people 500 million Bolivians who have become billons of dollars every year. Am I talking poorer as a result of U.S. imposed free about the war in Iraq? No. The War on market economics (CNN’s assessment, not Terror? Nah. The war I’m talking about has mine). For many of these, U.S. alternative been going on much longer than either of crops like coffee or bananas will only gen- those, and is one almost every American erate a tenth of the profit of coca, and in has direct experience with. I’m talking the words of one Cocalero, “without the about the war on drugs. coca, we can’t have a life here.” The United States under the Bush Ever since its inception under Courtesy of www.alovelyworld.com administration has a very simple solution President Nixon, the war on drugs has (above) Market Fresh: Coca sold in Peru, a chief producer with Bolivia for dealing with drugs abroad: extermina- focused more on stopping drugs abroad (below) Prime Targets: Major areas of coca cultivation in South America tion. The U.S. exerts diplomatic pressure than on educating and treating the popu- Courtesy of www.europarl.eu.int by threatening to cut off aid if other nations lace. Currently, the U.S. spends $45 billion do not comply. a year to fight drug trafficking and $4 bil- This pressure had allowed the U.S. to lion on treatment and education, which steer Bolivian governmental policy to their according to some studies by the RAND agenda, but those making their living off of Corporation, are seven times more effec- the drugs were not so easily swayed. These tive. Why should the U.S. create massive “Cocaleros,” as they are known in Bolivia, spending commitments abroad when it’s fought the U.S. at every turn to prevent cheaper to fight drugs at home? extermination. The government of Bolivia To stop drug production in the Andes, responded by spraying these crops from the U.S. needs to retool their plan to focus the air, destroying the farmers’ livelihood. on providing real alternatives, or remove Despite this, the U.S. policy seemed to their free market stance to give domestic be succeeding until the Cocaleros of farm products a chance to survive in the Bolivia united behind a new leader: Evo depressed markets. A continuation of this Morales. His “Movement Towards heavy-handed extermination policy in the Socialism” party has succeeded in taking face of popular discontent will likely place the second largest voting block in the a hostile government in Bolivia headed by Bolivian Congress. Its power has been Morales, which will only increase coca such that demonstrations by the Cocaleros production. The drug issue is not simple, forced the U.S. backed Bolivian president and treating it as such will only create a to flee the country. more divisive issue. Morales’ claims that the U.S. uses the drug war as an excuse to control his coun- John Ellis is a staff writer for The try resonate with many Bolivians, and the Retriever Weekly. If you would like the fact that their former president Sanchez sources for the information presented in this now lives in Miami is not helping things. article, or just want to talk about how dreamy The new Bolivian president, Carlos Mesa, Screech from Saved by the Bell was, John can is facing clear pressure from the masses be reached at [email protected]. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 13 For the Winter Holidays, You Can’t Beat Going Home before you board your flight. You may want cially if you are traveling to far off KYRA WILSON to travel with a friend, too, lest you get places. It is cheap though, and if you Retriever Weekly Staff Writer stuck with that one guy who has the flu, or have a Student Advantage card, you that one old chick who thinks that you are get 15% off your ticket price (that goes Well, the holiday season is upon us, “cute as a button,” or of course, our the same for some airlines as well). and whether or not you are looking for- favorite, the screaming baby or ever-so- For those of you who are hard- ward to going home, we’ve all got to do curious toddler. Smile and nod: it’s the hol- core, all-American college students, the same thing: travel. Whether by bus, idays, after all! you are embarking on that almighty plane, train, or car (or maybe walk for If you get motion sickness or if you are road-trip. More power to you! You, those of you who are broke), the fun just as afraid as planes as I am, you’ll be your friends, and all of your luggage begins when you begin the trek over the traveling in a much more pleasant way: stuffed into a little car for multiple river and through the woods to anywhere train. The train, by far, is the superior hours and with multiple stops: what in but here for food, fun, family, and free method of travel: so classy, so relaxing, the world could possibly be better? laundry facilities. As we all make that what more could you ask for? You get to sit Everyone chip in some gas money, a mass journey away from the dining hall in a comfortable seat, break out your laptop little McDonald’s, ten million CDs and the horrors of the financial aid office, (and plug it in), stare out the window at the (burned or legal), and lots of yelling let us take a moment and reflect on the beautiful American landscape, and relax on and laughing. Kudos to all of you who beauty and horror of traveling. your way home. If you travel first class, will be traveling in the fashionable col- There is always a lot of stress when you get a complimentary beverage and a lege way, and best wishes. Remember, traveling, especially by plane. When CNN newspaper! It is safe on the ground where mooning motorists causes accidents, mini- seat next to yours, be nice to the knitting tells you that you should be at the airport nothing can hurt you, and people generally vans in the left lane are generally not your little old ladies, try not to curse at the an hour and a half early, you had better keep to themselves. I suggest that you bring friends, and, when in doubt, avoid the gas screaming children, and ‘tis the season to take it seriously. There will be the taking your own food, as train food is not very station bathrooms. be jolly. The semester is over, so smile. off of shoes, long lines, and other such good and exuberantly expensive. The prob- As you embark on your journeys, annoyances in the airport, so you might as lem with the train is that though you get the remember: don’t get angry at the flight Kyra Wilson is a staff writer for The well get it done early and catch a cocktail convenience of being on the ground, you attendant when she runs out of your Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for (non-alcoholic for you underage folk) will be on the train for a long time, espe- favorite soda, your stuff can’t take up the comment at [email protected].

Quotes from the Quad Who would make a good mall Santa Claus? photos by Stephanie Potter

Jillian Sigle, 21 Adam Myers, 22 Junior, History Senior, Mechanical “George Bush.” Engineering “Dom Deloise (the Candid Elina Mavashev, 20 Camera guy).” Junior, Dance & Poli Sci “Dr. Hrabowski.”

Jim Kinsman, 19 Freshman, Comp Sci “Britney Spears.”

Rob Szostek, 19 Freshman, Graphic Design “Jim Carrey.” Page 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION December 2, 2003 Profiting from the Misfortune of Others?

JEFFREY F. HARTLINE Is the hot dog vendor an evil man? a product to fulfill this demand. Retriever Weekly Guest Writer You might say to me, “Hartline, you’re You might think this cruel, but crazy, how can the hot dog man be evil? this is the way that humanity All too often in today’s political dis- All he is doing is selling a piece of meat operates. How unfortunate! How course, emotionally-charged phrases and and other assorted animal ingredients on a dreadful! How dare I use common terms are thrown around to sway the lis- bun!” sense to approach this subject! tener. We are all supposed to react nega- To you I would say, “My dear friend, Now let us turn back to the tively to terms such as “religious right,” do you not realize that the hot dog vendor matters of the prescription drug “multinational corporation,” and “corpo- is profiting from the misfortune and misery companies and the insurance rate.” However, the one phrase that seems of others? Just look at him standing there, firms. Are these corporations to provoke the most righteous indignation, making a buck off of the starvation and unique in benefiting from the mis- animosity, and facial constipation is “prof- hunger of the masses!” For that is what the fortune of humanity? Absolutely iting from the misfortune of others.” How hot dog man does; he shamelessly exploits not. In fact, they fulfill a basic many times do we hear of prescription the hunger of the innocent passersby. service to their customers by pro- Courtesy of www.restoreliberty.com drug companies and insurance firms profit- Or take the example of the home- viding needed medication and ing from the misfortune of others? People builder. Just look at him making a profit insurance. The simple economic fact of the nies?” Every license-holding American so often associate these companies with from the plight of those without homes. matter is that these two types of companies knows that the car insurance companies the Ebenezer Scrooge image, but the truth How dare he! He is taking advantage of are in high demand by the general public. take a fair chunk of change from their is that benefiting from other people’s mis- people who are in need of a home, and rak- If the prescription drug companies closed pockets. However, most Americans do not ery is actually a quite normal part of our ing in a good penny from it. The home- shop in America, the chaos that would have the means to pay for the cost of an existence as humans. builder sees a human demand and supplies ensue from eliminating these “evil” com- accident. Lower and middle income fami- panies would be catastrophic. What would lies receive the most benefits from the the sick do without their medicine? insurance industry, because for many From where do these high drug costs Americans, insurance companies provide come? The answer can be found in the fact the only means to plan for the unpre- that much of today’s “miracle pills” are dictable. So instead of bemoaning the valu- expensive to produce. Doug Bandow from able service that insurance firms provide, the Cato Institute writes, “Yet medicine is why not instead celebrate the profits that not the most important component of the insurance companies make? recent rise in health care expenses. I admit that taking this position opens Moreover, the primary reason for current me up to being called a callous, uncaring, increases in total drug costs is that more corporate tool. However, purported do- and more people are using newer medi- gooders have been knocking around the cines—which means that consumer bene- phrase “profiting from the misfortune of fits are rising even faster.” others” so often that someone needed to As the cost of prescription drugs rises, stand up and defend corporations from the the benefits of these new miracle pills little guy. Even Ebenezer Scrooge needs to increase. In effect, the cost of prescription be defended sometimes. And by God, I drugs is rising on account of rising stand side by side with the hot dog vendor demand. Americans today are healthier in defense of profiting from the misfortune than they were in the past and all because of others. companies have exploited the misfortune of the ill. Jeff Hartline is a guest writer for The “But wait,” you might say. “What Retriever Weekly. He can be reached for Courtesy of www.thepeacock.com about those dreaded insurance compa- comment at [email protected]. You Decide: Street vendor or heartless criminal? a.m. Sunday and Thoughts on Family siblings. Children are often critical and more closely identifying with CATHY GILL behave belligerently toward their parents. my family situation or with Retriever Weekly Staff Writer The family in a.m. Sunday was a real- the one in the play, there still istic example of a family with serious are things we can all do to Recently, I had the opportunity to see issues. There was little trust and far too improve our family life. We another one of Center Stage’s excellent much secrecy, as the household had been are all grown up now and in plays, a.m. Sunday. It was a newer play by getting mysterious phone calls, which college. It’s time we started a young writer about sex, secrecy, and inter- turned out to be R.P.’s affair. There was no acting like adults toward our racial relationships. It followed a week in encouragement amongst the members; family. It starts with forgive- the life of Helen, R.P., Denny, and Jay—a when Helen wanted to reestablish commu- ness. We need to forgive our mixed-race family. Many issues were raised nication with her mother who was parents for whatever wrongs in this play, where there were more ques- estranged because Helen married a black they have done, and apologize tions than answers. With the winter holi- man, R.P. discouraged her, taking a nega- for what we have done. This is Courtesy of www.centerstage.org/ Richard Anderson days in close proximity, it was appropriate tive stance and asking what was the use. the only way we can begin to Family Feud: Ray Anthony Thomas and Johanna that one of the major themes was that of the About this and many other things Helen and love again. Day play a fighting R.P. and Helen. family. The two questions that resounded in R.P. fought. Granted, race issues complicat- We should avoid the mis- my head after seeing this controversial play ed their situation, but trust and encourage- trust, secrecy, and discouragement which realize these things, we can avoid potential- were: “Why do some families have ment problems are ones that are found in were seen in Helen and R.P.’s family. We ly angry situations and grow closer to our unpleasant home lives while others have many difficult family situations. need to try to encourage trust and openness families in the process. loving ones?” and “What can be done about I am lucky to have a great family life. by reaching out to our parents and brothers As the holidays draw near, people it?” My parents have been married for 22 years and sisters, asking them about their day at think of families more. The family is pre- While many factors go into family life, (wow, that’s a long time!) and they have work or at school, or about their hobbies. cious; we only have one. Don’t be like I think everyone knows why the family is so been for the most part supportive of me Be interested. Try to understand what Helen, R.P., Denny, and Jay, allowing important. The child learns how to relate to financially, spiritually, and emotionally. My they are going through, and all the sacri- secrecy, mistrust, a lack of encouragement, the world in the home. He learns the value brothers and sister are all good people, and fices that they made. and fighting. We cannot change our whole of love and how to have relationships, both most times we can joke and play around Realize that secrecy tears a family family, but we need to do our part in mak- friendly and romantic. He receives much of together. Granted, my family isn’t perfect, apart. George Bernard Shaw once humor- ing time with the family a more pleasant his sense of worth from his parents’ encour- but they love me. I thank God for that. If ously said, “If you cannot get rid of the event. agement and learns how to become a good you have a good family too, make sure you family skeleton, you may as well make it citizen. There are many parents who do not realize what you have. Nobody has a per- dance.” We need to get all of our issues Cathy Gill is a staff writer for The love or care for their children; some parents fect family, but many people do not have a ironed out now, before they become gen- Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for abuse their children, and many choose to good one like you, and of course some do uine family feuds. comment at [email protected]. If you’d like work long hours and leave children lonely. not have any family at all. Most of all, we all need to relax and more info on a.m. Sunday, check out Brothers and sisters can make fun of their However, whether you find yourself learn to laugh at ourselves. Hopefully, if we www.CenterStage.org. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 15 Screw the Third World, I Want Mo’ Money! ist countries would just open their eyes to We could even capitalize on the social bankrupt because they have stripped all of IAN CRAIG the laissez-faire utopia and neglect their and political upheavals by selling the war their natural resources, the World Bank can Retriever Weekly Staff Writer own businesses long enough to allow the lords our old weapons for their little capital rush in and give them a loan and force them U.S. and other industrialized countries to gained from their meager resources, a prac- to open their borders to foreign investors in There is nothing I love more than flood their markets with foreign merchan- tice Alex Vines discusses in Oil, Diamonds order to pay them back. money. Well, except for more money. In the dise, we could finally squeeze out the last and Death. That’s where the fantastic global open spirit of more money for me and the rest of few pennies in their pockets so my stock Damn Brazil is trying to industrialize market comes in and allows foreign the developed world, I would like to can go up and I can finally buy that 2004 to play a role in the world market by alu- investors to continue to not only reap the explore potential for our economic powers Tacoma Extended Cab 4X4 I have had my minum smelting, a process which requires rewards of the last remaining resources, but to really gain a death-grip on the planet. eye on for so long. also the manpower and The world is full of small, dirty, mal- How dare they the utilities, as they over- developed economic atrocities—some call try to tax foreign charge the population for them the third world. These people will industry to collect water and electric (which work for pennies and their governments are some national capi- is happening in Bolivia, practically begging for Western, devel- tal as we proceed to according to William oped-world control. exploit them. I Finnegan’s Leasing the However, the problem our businesses mean, we are the Rain). That means big are facing is that some of these countries most powerful money for us and the rest don’t know they want to be subservient yet. nation in the world. of the developed world. They try to close their borders and tax for- That’s the If those crazy South eign merchandise to improve their own greatest thing Americans just thought to decrepit economies and bolster the native about being a use their natural resources producers. Hullabaloo, we are much larger developed country (ie: rainforest and water) and more powerful than they could ever and producing all in a sustainable way and dream; we must use that to force them to of our products in encouraged local busi- conform to the needs of expanding multi- developing nations. nesses such as the rubber national corporations. We can make our tappers (who yield large Our way is the best way, and that way products cheaper, returns that would be is open capitalism. They may have too few therefore giving spread out among the pro- resources to sustain this economic system them no competitive chance. Then the best charcoal. And they have the world’s largest letariat instead of the elite, without impact- for more than a week, but for that week, the part comes in: as they struggle hard against supply of charcoal: some like to call it the ing the environment), they might actually country is going to look like Las Vegas. the economic powers of the industrialized rainforest. And hey, the trees are free, so improve their present condition. But that Globalization is the answer! Through countries, developing countries will start to this seems like a win-win situation for would just be stupid. international free trade, developed nations “cut” into their environment to make up the them. Then since the oxisol soil that is pres- such as the U.S. could really exploit the needed resources to help fuel their pathetic ent in a rainforest environment is so poor Ian Craig is a staff writer for The struggling developing world that lacks the stride to develop in similar ways as the and leeched of minerals, the land will take Retriever Weekly and hopes you know that natural resources to effectively industrial- western world. They will never have a centuries to grow back and will never have this article is satirical. He can be reached ize. Suckers! And if these damn protection- chance against us! We win: go us! the biodiversity it once did. When they’re for comment at [email protected]. Page 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT Page 17 Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT December 2, 2003

from LETTERS, page 11 position left-wing liberals usually take, as is the same in this case, consists of supporting the free- As President of the UMBC College Republicans I would like to voice our concern for the dom of speech until the speech disagrees with their limited world view. The freedom alliance proud- unfair and biased news that has been prevalent in The Retriever Weekly. ly displays signs that assert to speak for UMBC as a whole with their slogan of “Hate is not a UMBC value.” Similarly, I never heard a peep from the newspaper when the University of Maryland First I would like to address Ms. Brett McKenzie’s article entitled, “Where the Sidewalk System pays for anti-war speakers to drop by and spew their anti-American filth. Ends…and Political Crossfire Begins.” The author has illustrated several important points. One, many organizations use chalking as a way to promote activism, membership, and values. Second, Now, if the CR’s would have went and announced on live television that UMBC supports the chalking is a vehicle of self expression- a right guaranteed to us as American citizens. Third, many partial-birth abortion ban then I would have understood the malcontent of the writer. Moreover, if groups, not just political organizations, speak on behalf of the entire population (including the the College Republicans would have attempted to assert throughout Maryland that UMBC’s stance Freedom Alliance, the SGA, and most recently SCAN@UMBC). Personally I do not think the on partial-birth abortion was unified then again, I would have understood the anger of the writer of student who wrote, “UMBC thanks President Bush” was being “politically correct”, however, this “Where the Sidewalk Ends…and Political Crossfire Begins.” However, this freedom of speech lim- person should not be critized more than students from other organizations. As President, I apolo- ited itself to sidewalks at the UMBC campus. There was no assertion of support by UMBC for the gize to those who may have been offended by this statement, but I do not revoke my decision to partial-birth abortion ban outside of the campus. leave uncensored this member’s opinion. This individual holds! no official capacity, their state- ment cannot be interpreted as anything more than mere opinion- and should be respected in this To me, the article points out the bias of the typical liberal media in their attempt to stifle free capacity. speech. I, along with the many other conservatives at UMBC, will not have their speech trampled on and we will not tolerate such attempts at censorship. The dying breed of liberals may not like the I would also like to bring up the fact that many articles in The Retriever Weekly have also conservative wave among young people, but too bad. We are here, we are proud, and we don’t care suggested that the UMBC College Republicans are inactive, do not care about tuition increases, what you think. and do not participate in civic engagement. In actuality, the College Republicans have run pro- grams and initiatives with greater student involvement than almost all of the other political organ- My feelings on this issue are not the official positions of the College Republicans or the izations- yet The Retriever failed to provide coverage. Furthermore, the College Republicans have Republican Party. been working to lower tuition increase, unlike what is biasly presented in the paper. Recently we participated in a forum of discussion which went ignored even though writers were present at the Matthew Penick event. Although the arguments brought forth by SCAN@UMBC have been publicized, the Treasurer, UMBC College Republicans research the College Republicans have done to prove that the USM carelessly spends money has not be mentioned. Lying Larouchites?

Until this newspaper stops censoring out the opinion of a growing conservative voice on This past Tuesday, the Larouchies came to campus in number and amongst their usual lies and campus, students should not be surprised to see organizations, such as the College Republicans, idiocy had a poster claiming the support of the UMBCLibertarians. THIS IS A LIE. Apparently all continuing to voice their opinions through other outlets. I cannot censor opinion, and I feel it is their twisting of words has affected their ability to correctly interpret the meaning of the phrase doing this campus a great injustice to allow the main newspaper to condone and practice such “FUCK OFF LaROUCHE,” which will be appearing in soon-to-be-printed T-Shirts available from behaviors. our organization.

Rose Capozzi Again, the Libertarians are probably the farthest thing from anything Larouche stands for President, UMBC College Republicans (which if you read their material is apparently slavery to the state/LaRouche via the draft and the Civilian Conservation Corps). We are for Free Markets and Free People, not command economies More Chalk Talk and cults of personality.

“Where the Sidewalk Ends…and Political Crossfire Begins” pointed to some recent chalk- Rich Goldman ing by the College Republicans. I find it repulsive that the Retriever Weekly would attempt to use President, UMBC Libertarians their position as the sole newspaper on campus to attempt and censor the freedom of speech. The December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 19 Page 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 21

What Gifts NOT To Buy. 22 Celtic Music Storms The DC-Baltimore Area. 25 Rock Your Finals With The Help of The Right Food. 28 Features Tupac Ressurection Makes An Impact. 26 UMBC Jazz Band Gets The Resident’s Walkers A’twistin And A’turnin

STEVE WILEY was chosen. Villanueva pref- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer aced the song by mentioning that Davis, a “cool jazz” trum- On a brisk Sunday in pet player who became well- November, a few dozen resi- known in the 1960s, dedicated dents of Harmony Hall, a retire- the record to a woman named ment community in Columbia, Cleo; few people knew who were treated to a special after- that could be, until it was found noon of toe-tapping music, out that she was his mother. courtesy of UMBC’s Jazz Musically, it was composed of a Band, in their first gig of the series of deliberate, smooth and season. steady sections, interconnected Ten members of the ensem- by two trumpet solos, all sup- ble, all clad in black, were able ported by the band’s proficient to come and perform a set of quartet of saxophone players. classic tunes. They were led by After this song, the audi- band director Jari Villanueva, ence was informed by who also lent his talent to the Villanueva of UMBC’s music group of musicians on the trum- department’s various programs. Anita Field / Retriever Weekly Staff pet. Though their bass players Metalling: Godsmack proves that metal is a verb as well as a noun with their shakedown perform- He briefly previewed next and a baritone saxophonist ance and amazing stage presence. \m/ semester’s Concert Band, who couldn’t attend, each member he hinted might be paying a of the troupe did his or her best visit to Harmony Hall in 2004. to contribute to a jumpin’ and Characterizing his work with Godsmack Proves To Be A Strong jivin’ kind of atmosphere. the Jazz Band, he told the After quickly setting up crowd that they like to play instruments and music stands, tunes from the 1950s and ’60s, Survivor at UMBC’s Fieldhouse the band charged ahead with but they also like to reach back the first number, John to the Big Band era of the ’30s DOUG MILLER Silvertide warmed the audience formance, and given the major Coltrane’s “Moment’s Notice,” and ’40s, which is exactly what Retriever Weekly Staff Writer up with a 30 minute set of label backing the band must as arranged by Army musician they did next. bluesy hard rock. The have to open for such a large Mark Taylor. Once Villanueva Song number three was Alternative metal champi- Philadelphia group channeled crowd, this probably will not be gave the signal, it began with a introduced as a simple melody, ons Godsmack proved to Zeppelin-styled rock in the the last of Silvertide. few brief drum hits, and then a familiar folk tune, “Little UMBC why they remain one of same way The Strokes channel Next was Adema, a major- the full band got into swing, Brown Jug,” sometimes per- the most popular live bands of garage rock – without a hint of label vanity project featuring with horns ringing out and formed by the Glenn Miller their genre with an explosive irony. vocalist Mark Chavez, half- cymbals crashing energetically. Band, arranged in an updated show on Sunday November Live, the group had the brother of Korn frontman The whole room lit up with version by Paul Nagle. As men- 16th. The former “modern excessive guitar and drum solos Jonathan Davis. It would be smiles in response, the air filled tioned earlier, the band didn’t rock” darlings’ album sales of the best arena rock, but did easy to completely dismiss with the catchy, up-tempo beat. have a bass player with them, may be slipping, but Godsmack not quite have the skill or mate- Adema given these origins. In For the second piece, but many of the song’s lower was completely embraced by rial to truly live up to their fact the band was signed to which the band leader tones were handled by the gui- the sold-out Fieldhouse crowd. influences. However, the crowd described as a slower change of Energetic openers mostly seemed to enjoy the per- see GODSMACK, page 24 pace, Miles Davis’ “Boplicity” see JAZZ, page 25 Stirring Performances Bolster New Play, A.M. Sunday

GRANT HUANG white mother, Helen (Johanna used). Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Day). They have successfully The play takes on darker raised their two sons, 15 year-old undertones when mysterious phone Jerome Hairston’s a.m. Jay (JD Williams) and 11 year-old calls from a woman R.P. was once Sunday is a stylish effort, a very Denny (Sylk) despite Helen’s involved with come to a head; modern coming-of-age play that painful alienation from her family, Helen forcibly confronts him about attempts a heavy combination of who never accepted her decision to his past as Denny mourns the dis- gritty themes like race, prejudice, marry a black man and bear his appearance of the family dog love, sex, and trust. Despite mean- children. (always offstage, the dog is named dering scenes mired in an over- Taking place in the space of a Ebony, and its symbolic meaning abundance of stiff dialogue, the few days, a.m. Sunday shows us and seemingly-random appear- play is ultimately made enjoyable Helen and R.P.’s attempt to keep ances will keep audience members thanks to inspired performances their family together as Denny guessing long after the show) and from its small but gifted cast. begins asking hard questions about Jay has a heart-to-heart with Lorie. Directed by Center Stage vet- race and sex and Jay negotiates a Some impressive effects show eran Marion McClinton, a.m. shy, tenuous romance with a white off the production’s technical com- Sunday is the story of a biracial girl named Lorie (aptly-cast Robyn petence; we see the lights of a city Courtesy of rnaphoto.com family with a black father, R.P. Simpson, whose mere five minutes Shifting The Paradigm: Robyn Simpson and JD Williams break (Ray Anthony Thomas), and a of stage time are extremely well- see AM SUNDAY, page 23 racial boundaries in up and coming Jerome Hairston’s latest. Page 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES December 2, 2003 How to Tell Your Relatives How You Really Feel About Them This Years Top Ten Horrible Holiday Gift Ideas

JOSHUA BAUTZ sibly make his hair stick up and probably Retriever Weekly Staff Writer giving him a nice case of cancer in about 10 years. It is that time again. Yes, the Number nine: A Chia Pet. You Christmas Season is once again upon us. It thought that they disappeared with Vanilla is a time for feasting with family, snowy Ice didn’t you? Well believe it or not they evenings and kissing under the mistletoe. It is the time when fat men wearing red are instantly in style, and a time for what fills most of your greedy little minds- presents. However, presents are a double edged sword. For every person who hands you a nicely wrapped potential X-Box, there is someone else you must find something for- something which will hopefully be good enough to keep you on speaking terms with them, or at least prevent you from being Courtesy of Universal Pictures banned from the dinner table. One Fish Two Fish: The Cat says a good review is better than a stinky shoe. But, because the whole idea of a bad or inappropriate gift just seems to escape many of you, I present to you this list of the Far from Dr. Seuss’s Original top ten worst Christmas presents. Unless you want to eat Christmas dinner at the 711 Dream, The Cat Makes Good with Bob, the homeless crack addict who can’t believe that you honestly thought that your dad would be interested in owning the JOSHUA BAUTZ that the entire town is painted in have con- official Michael Jackson interview on Courtesy of Ebay.com Retriever Weekly Staff Writer firmed my fears. The only car dealership in DVD, heed the advice of this article. Veggie Head: Don’t even think about it the entire town must be Ford, and they most Now without further adieu, here is the unless you want to be disowned. Looking around the half-empty theater only stock bright yellow focus hatchbacks, list of most despised presents: a mere 5 minutes from show time, I wonder with the exception of the equally as blind- Number ten: The ab-tronic. Your are still alive and people are still kicking why there are so many empty seats? I mean ingly yellow Thunderbird, driven by couch-bum older brother wants to look like any of their ex-friends dumb enough to sure, it is a Tuesday night, and there is Lawrence Quinn (played by Alec Baldwin). John Basedow and you want to help him. give them one. another one of those annoying flood warn- However, right around the time that the Nice thought, but sorry to tell you this but Number eight: The ever popular ings in effect, but one would think that plot began reveal the addition of a few strapping an electronic belt to him while he “Somebody at UMBC loves me” bear. Be there would be more people who wanted to interesting details which I can not seem to shoves another bag of pork rinds down his serious, this is just a nice way to get the see a free showing of the new, live-action recall from reading the book as a child, throat is not going to do much besides pos- bear and you tossed out of the closest win- version of Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat. something amazing happened- the movie dow. Then I realize that it is not the size of began to become funny; and not just dumb, Number seven: Yet another the crowd that is half of what I expected, corny, “I’ll try to find something funny out necktie for your dad. Here is an idea but the height of the majority of the audi- of this movie because I’m stuck here” for you. Go to your dad’s closet and ence. Apparently a lot of area parents must funny, but funny to the point that at times it open the door. See the heaping pile have been pretty lenient on bedtimes for the was the adults of the theater grabbing their of neckties in the basket? Wonder night. bellies in laughter in addition to, and some- who would give your dad, all of Fearing the worst, I sit back in my times even, instead of their children. those hideous ties? You did. The chair with a sigh and prepare myself for an Much of this is due to the hard work of next time Macy’s has a five for ten hour an a half of constant rhyming, the kind Mike Myers (the Cat). Although Myers is dollar tie sale, maybe the first which placed the original book on the list no stranger to making people laugh, this thought through your head shouldn’t of the top ten bestselling hardcover chil- role is a far cry from Austin Powers. Myers be, “Wow, that would take care of dren’s books of all time, and would turn unique use of odd facial expressions, voice Christmas, Father’s Day and Dad’s this movie into an instant staple for babysit- changes, and witty sayings saved the movie birthday with ties left over for Uncle ting jobs around the world. by genuinely making the audience chuckle. Bill and Granddad!” That is unless After the first ten minutes of the The other major factor contributing to Courtesy Of Ebay.com of course you want to be hogtied with movie, the strict-to-the-book narrator’s the amusement of the audience is editing, Dial A Muscle: This present will get you script and the incessant children’s rhymes, laughed at, as they kick you out of the party. see GIFTS, page 26 paired with the almost painful neon colors see THE CAT IN THE HAT, page 24

The Freshman by Adam Corpora

thefreshmanonline.com December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 23

While Well-Acted, Sunday’s The Asinine Astrologist Foretells Your Doom Again Script Fails To Deliver Goods by Philbert & Associates

from AM SUNDAY, page 21 good role model for his little brother Denny. Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) bus at night and hear exactly the right It’s a role upon which Hairston places a great screeches and groans of its engine and deal of thematic weight, and Williams rises While going through your room While mind-melding with the leftover hydraulics as it comes to a stop and opens its nicely to the occasion with his convincing while you ate lunch, I found some dis- Diet Coke in my cup from the Commons, I doors; lightning flashes and thunder booms characterization of Jay as a shy, well-mean- turbing things, like love letters to Miss discovered that you have elves living in at exactly the right moments. ing but quick-to-anger young man. Piggy and Bette Midler. While fantasies your suitcase. Recommended course of The simple set is effective, for a.m. The play is a commendable attempt about celebrities are common, lusting action? Exterminate them by blasting “The Sunday is all about its characters and their to examine the complexities of being mul- after swine and fag hags are not. Best of Cher” all night. interactions; a mostly empty stage provides a tiracial in our society, and Hairston’s writ- few pieces of furniture and just enough props ing is a meaningful reflection of them, Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) to lend credibility to the actors as they go drawing in part from his own experiences. through the motions of urban life in our soci- But a good play needs to be more than The alignment of Ceres and the As a result of your outbursts in the ety. meaningful and reflective in order to suc- Cepheids are ominous for you. This week, coffeehouse last week, and the subse- Under McClinton’s direction, the actors ceed; it must be watchable and entertain- you should be careful of winged birds, quent cream cheese explosions, result- give subtle, nuanced performances in many ing, it must be an experience that engages small root vegetables, and Pomeranians. ing in the deaths of three patrons, you scenes and while such performances height- the senses, otherwise you might as well They could lead to a sudden engorging of are permanently banned from ever en the contemporary, urban feel of the play, go read an essay. a.m. Sunday is a drama, particular body parts (and not in the happy drinking caffeinated substances. in live theater they are wasted if the audience but it fails to create enough drama to fully way you are picturing right now). can’t see them, and the plain truth is that you engage the audience. can’t see subtle facial expressions unless Two characters standing still yelling Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) you’re in the front row on the edge-of-your- at each other in scene after scene quickly Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Unfortunately, one of your sup- seat. It’s a style of acting that is far-better ceases to be dramatic, as do long As an early Christmas present, your posed “friends” has drunkenly alerted suited to the close-ups of film or television. I “silences” that feel out of place. At some granny got you a class ring. After wearing your family to the secret life you live might further add that at no point was I suffi- point the person next to me whispered, it for several days, you discover that you in Arbutus. Your illegitimate wife and ciently moved to make the journey to the “Did [the actor] forget his line?” No one are severely allergic to the metallic alloy; children, all eight of them, have been edge of my seat. fell asleep, but more than once I felt a you swell up with gangrene, and die an cut off welfare and are on the streets. Nevertheless, the acting is by far the sudden impulse to look at my watch. agonizing death. Your granny loves you! Darn. best thing the production has going for it; And that’s really too bad, because you a.m. Sunday’s cast comprises only six want this play to be great – it raises mean- actors, with child actors Sylk (apparently he ingful questions about racial identity in Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) has no last name, perhaps aiming to join the America and it’s a highly original idea from Nothing good is in the stars for While tripping on the neurotoxins ranks of Madonna and Cher) and Massimo a very young, clearly talented playwright. you this month. In fact, your outlook that proliferated in your dining hall fish Delogu Jr. alternating every other show as The production well-acted and technically is so bad, I am not even allowed to filet, you will have a terrifying dream, Denny. competent, but its lengthy meditations on spell it out for you in a University- consisting of Gumby and Pokey killing Particularly impressive is Johanna Day’s race and relationships simply aren’t engaging sponsored publication... just be careful your family, taking over the world and outstanding performance as the outspoken, enough to make it the great urban drama we of large power tools. becoming heartless clay dictators. expressively emotional Helen – playful after a all want it to be. As it stands, a.m. Sunday is romp in the bedroom with R.P., wistful as she merely an original one. recalls their Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) early Due to budget cuts, we couldn’t get courtship, furi- Be careful of talking to your parents to your “fortune” this week... get a magic ous and tragi- this week. Jupiter and Saturn being in eight ball from Spencers instead. There cally unsure conjunction inspires you to tell the is also a palmist down the street, but she when she con- truth... how do you think Mom and Dad charges hella cash and never seems to fronts him will like the monkey tattoo on you pos- get the fortunes right. I’m sorry, dude. about their terior that says “I like Elton John”? mysterious female caller. (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) Also of Virgo Pisces note is JD All illicit affairs with your profes- Your dream will come true this Williams’ turn sors must end. You know, they talk in week. (No, not the three strippers com- as the 15 year- the staff lounge, and your English ing to your dorm room in wet clothes old Jay, who professor caught wind of that soiree needing shelter because of a flat tire in a struggles with you attended with the sociology TA. rainstorm). This week, you will not get his responsi- Grades will plummet and your life is sick from eating the hamburgers in the bility to the over. dining hall. family, the awakening of his sexuality, his racial identity in his romance with Lorie, and his rocky relationship Courtesy of RNAphoto.com with his father, all the Heart to Heart: Johanna Day and Ray Anthony Thomas while trying to be a discuss the future of their marriage in Hairston’s new play.

write for features ext. 51260 Page 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES December 2, 2003 Mike Myers Amazes in The Interesting New Screen Version Of Dr. Seuss’ Classic The Cat

from THE CAT IN THE HAT, page 22 hoe…that was dirty. In another question- meaning additions, which has been done to able scene, the Cat spoofs on television the Dr. Seuss’s original manuscript. For cooking shows only to accidentally cut off example, the children’s mom, played by his tail and scream, “Son of a Bit-” before Kelly Preston, is dating the deceitful next the movie cut to a quick commercial break. door neighbor Lawrence Quinn, performed Joining Myers, Baldwin, and Preston by Alec Baldwin. is Sean Hayes, better known as Jack from There are also several scenes hilarious NBC’s hit show Will and Grace. Hayes per- enough to be considered questionable in a forms two different but strikingly similar “children’s movie,” such as the Cat scream- characters in Mr. Humberfloob, the Mom’s ing “Dirty Hoe” presumably at the dog he neat freak boss, and the children’s pet Fish, is chasing, only to bend over and pick up a who learns to talk only to lecture the chil- dren about what their mother would not approve of. Spencer Breslin, playing unruly Conrad, and nine- year-old Dakota Fanning, (I am Sam) playing his control freak sister Sally, also give good performances in the Anita Field / Retriever Weekly Staff movie, aside from the fact And The Crowd Goes Wild: Concert goers got the full force of Godsmack’s that I spent a significant por- enthusiasm and returned it two-fold. tion of time secretly wishing that the Cat would smack the annoying lisp out of Conrad. Hot Alternative Powerhouse The Cat in the Hat will be a movie without a home at Blockbusters. While not Godsmack Rocks Audience exactly a typical children’s from GODSMACK, page 21 movie, it is a far cry from sometimes psychedelic compositions. Shrek. Although I definitely Artista before even playing a single live This included a segment set to an ethe- would not recommend pay- show. Featuring every modern rock real video where guitarist Tony Rambola ing money to watch it, it is cliché, right down to a bald member of played hypnotic aural textures on his genuinely entertaining and is the group who has a long goatee and instrument with a violin bow, accompa- a good waste of about 90 “chin-bangs,” Adema may be the most nied by otherworldly screaming from minutes if you ever come carbon copy rock band on MTV right singer Sully Erna. across it on HBO and are now. For a band so rooted in radio-friend- Courtesy Of Universal Pictures sick of watching your However, the group was quite enter- ly hits, it was interesting that at least a Acting Out: New Stories, New Tricks, In the form of FRIENDS. season three col- taining live. Adema’s sound is reason- third of Godsmack’s set was instrumen- a Flick. Old Cat, New Hat, and That is That,. lection. ably pop friendly nu-metal, with no lack tal. Unlike many of their nu-metal of catchy hooks. Singer Chavez did not brethren, Godsmack’s musicians can have much in the way of stage charisma, actually play their instruments, even but has a very good voice for the genre. including real heavy metal guitar solos Overall, the crowd seemed to enjoy the in many of their songs. One particularly band’s set that included semi-hits like exciting instrumental involved the band “Immortal” and “Unstable.” employing two drum kits for a rhythmic Despite the opening band’s best tribal drumming solo that recalled the attempts at distraction, the Fieldhouse sound of alternative legends Course of crowd was clearly here for Godsmack. Empire. The headliners did not disappoint, send- Frontman Sully was not particularly ing the packed crowd into frenzy from polite to the UMBC crowd, but proved the very first moment. to be a formidable vocalist and a multi- Originating from the Boston alter- talented instrumentalist. Godsmack’s native scene, Godsmack broke big in lyrics get quite pedestrian, but Sully has 1998 with their triple-platinum self- a voice that makes them work, convey- titled debut. Mixing metal with grunge ing surprising conviction and sincerity. and some industrial influences, The frontman also served as a solid Godsmack has always embraced darker rhythm guitarist, and proved surprising- imagery and misanthropic lyrics while ly apt as a second drummer. remaining reasonably commercial- Sully Erna has said in interviews friendly. Compared to the popular music that “Godsmack is the new Metallica” – scene of today, the band’s sound is quite a presumptuous statement, but one that out of fashion and the group’s last may actually be true. Godsmack has the album, Faceless, was not particularly same general style and working class Movie Tickets...$0 well received. appeal as Metallica, and both bands’ New CD’s...$0 Judging by the UMBC crowd, recent albums have been poorly Godsmack remains a significant draw received. Concert Tickets...$0 live. Clearly a hardworking, profession- They also both appear to draw a Rockstar Interviews...$0 al band, Godsmack was supported by a similarly age diverse audience. The Backstage Passes...$0 dynamic live setup that utilized video Fieldhouse show had a surprising num- backdrops, mesmerizing laser lights, and ber of loyal fan attendees that appeared Writing for TRW Features... rotating drum risers. to be in their 30’s and 40’s, in addition Priceless Godsmack’s Fieldhouse set con- to the Godsmack’s very substantial tained all the expected hits like youth fan base. If this is any indication Write to “Voodoo,” “Whatever,” “I Stand Alone,” of the band’s national appeal, Godsmack [email protected] to get more information on living the life of a and “Straight out of Line.” However, may live up to Metallica and enjoy a UMBC Features Reporter often the most interesting moments of strong touring career for years to come, the show involved experimental and even as the album sales drop off. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 25 innUendo This Week: It’s Crunch Time!

So finals are coming up real tractions right at your fingertips! soon now, but I need help! I have Instead of reading about the latest so much studying to do but I get accusations against Michael distracted so easily! I need to get Jackson, study! Some people use the into gear and work hard, but every excuse that many teachers post time I get started I find an excuse study materials online. Well, if you to do something else! Help! must be on the computer, for crying ~Has the Attention Span of a out loud do not log onto AIM. Rock That’s just a distraction waiting to Rachele sez: happen. Ah, this sounds so familiar to Got a girlfriend/boyfriend? me by now. I have this very same Well kids, romance should be put on problem year after year. Finals, hold. You don’t have the time to sit you hate them but at the same time and whisper sweet nothings or stay you have to love them. If you’ve on the phone with them all night! been doing poorly in a class they (Ah, another mortal enemy of the have the potential to completely study session: the phone.) You have turn your grade around. We all work to do. Give them a teddy bear Courtesy of W3 Publicity know this, yet we still find excuses to cuddle in place of you for the Live What You Do: Griffith turns her life experiences into amazingly energetic and to put off studying. I am incredibly next week or two. They’ll get over moving new Celtic genre. guilty of this. However, there it. comes a time when we must put Got that party animal streak in aside our distractions and get down you? Well, party it up when you’re to business! Let’s get started! finished! That way you won’t have Grace Griffith’s Celtic Lilt The best way to ignore our dis- to feel guilty about it the next day. tractions is to just remove them None of this: “Man I shouldn’t have altogether. Unplug that TV! Throw gone out last night! I need to Makes Friends With Jazz a blanket over it if you have to. study!” Or “ugh, I have such a hang- Saying you’ll “study” while watch- over but I need to study!” If you ing TV is a load of bull and you wait until you’re finished then the and Folk for Great Listening know it. partying will have so much more Playstation 2, Xbox, meaning. You’ll be celebrating your JOE HOWLEY Griffith’s most memorable. Gamecube? Take them home, temporary freedom from the hassles Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Richness is the word for what unplug them, and lock them away of studying! Griffith achieves with her voice, a voice not to be seen again until finals are Now you’re ready! Get out For DC area singer Grace Griffith, she was in danger of losing when she over! This is my main vice. “Well, there and kick those exams to the her new CD is a bit of the old and a was diagnosed with thyroid cancer (it I could study, but first I’ll get in a curb! When you’re finished, dust off whole lot of new. turned out not to be cancer). She round of Soul Calibur II!” One your TV, free your game system Sands of Time, from the vocalist explains that confronting new situations round turns into an hour and a half from prison, boot up your computer, (and physical therapist) known for her with her body made her take a new look of me beating the crap out of my call up your significant other, or beautiful performances in folk and at the world. “I felt very much like I was opponents. Hey, I told you I get head off to a party! You’ve earned Celtic music, is a new direction of intro- out on a new frontier for myself, but distracted easily. it! spection, emotion, and, well, music. that’s a nice feeling because you need to Next, we’ll move on to one of Griffith’s unmistakable voice, remi- try new frontiers or you can get kinds of the primary distractions college What seems to be disrupting niscent in its richness of fellow DC local numb,” she says. students have: the computer. For YOUR college existence? E-mail Lisa Moscatiello, seems made for the Griffith’s introspections are not all crying out loud, stay away from it! Rachele at [email protected] with jazzy ends to which she puts it in this sad. She provides a wonderfully Talk about having a world of dis- any questions! new album. Recently diagnosed with jazz/folk style for her rendition of the Parkinson’s disease, Griffith has been traditional song “Black Is The Color.” re-examining her life and the people and The album’s penultimate song, “‘Til things in it. “I’ve really come to the con- They Discovered Music,” is a fanciful clusion that the connection we have with song about the origins of music in Retirees Tap Canes To Jazz Beats other people is one of the most impor- human life, a goofy song made all the tant things we need to learn about in more meaningful by its clear importance life,” Griffith says. to her. Wonderful harmonies of electric from JAZZ, page 21 George Rachis had a swell solo, which Indeed, the first song, “Carry You,” guitar and clarinet boost the song to new tar player Jason Lee, who played the flowed seamlessly into the subsequent is a loving song of support and friend- heights. notes and chords closely on cue, as the bars. Then it was trumpeter Paul ship that acknowledges bad times and The 11-track (none of which rest of the band went along with the Swenson’s turn with the spotlight, and promises better, managing to be both Griffith herself wrote) album ends with playful melody and cadence. after that the guitar player once more upbeat and downbeat at the same time. the astonishingly beautiful “Moment of For the fourth tune, singer Colin became soloist. Each band member kept The next song, “Summer,” is even more Forever,” a celebration of sharing time Holter was brought in to “really belt up the pace, individually and as a group, intriguing, with an undeniably jazziness with important people. It ends normally, out” the number, a jazz standard called matching drummer Yaakov Birnbaum’s that clearly comes naturally to Griffith. but the silence fades almost instantly “All of Me.” Although Harmony Hall’s tirelessly tight beat, until the percus- Though it is Griffith’s voice that is back into about thirty seconds of word- Day Room lacked a microphone, the sionist himself did some solo work. often praised, the album wouldn’t work less singing accompanied by cheerful vocalist, snapping his fingers along with The last song was over, concluded without the high quality instrumental piano, a curious sort of farewell that the beat, did the best he could to project by a wonderfully layered, sonically rich backups she gets for every song. “Make embodies everything about this latest his voice, singing lyrics like “You took climax, and the entire band rose to an Our Garden Grow” has almost lullabye- masterpiece by Grace Griffith: reflec- that part....What once was my heart \ ovation. The band director thanked the like qualities, with powerful backing tion, hope, and beauty. So why not take all of me?” The gui- crowd in return, on behalf of UMBC. strings well-suited to this song, which It is not uncommon for an artist to tarist also has a shot at being the center of The residents of the retirement center was originally written for the musical try something new, even a whole attention in this song, with a keen instru- were obviously grateful for the students’ “Candide.” album’s worth of something new. Grace mental interlude of his own, and the rest performance and eagerly hoped for an Griffith illustrates her diverse abili- Griffith has tried and pulled it off. of the band backed him up perfectly. encore visit. To quote one, the great- ties again in “Almost Like Being in Time is fleeting, as the album title The “big number of the day,” the grandfather of tenor saxophone player Love,” as she slips right into a muted reminds us. Life is too short to not spend finale with “some very intricate pas- Nicole Macey, “They are excellent salsa melody that really livens up the it hearing good music; Grace Griffith’s sages,” as the band leader put it, was musicians. They were fantastic!” song. But then it’s back to understated Sands of Time would be a worthy invest- “Showtime,” composed and arranged by Although there was a crisp chill brought piano and a flute that picks up where her ment indeed. Eric Richards at Fort Meade Army Base. by the autumn breeze outdoors, inside voice leaves off as her Celtic and folk Griffith fans new and old will be After a false start, the ensemble quickly Harmony Hall hearts were warmed by roots reassert themselves. “Hold Me able to see her in concert Friday, found their rhythms in what was maybe the swinging sound of music, played Forever,” though, brings back the jazzi- December 12th at 8pm at St. John’s their most danceable tune. Saxophonist with flair and enthusiasm. ness that will make this album one of Methodist Church. Page 26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES December 2, 2003 Don’t Become A Social Outcast

from GIFTS, page 22 You can come over to my dorm whenever twenty years worth of two-dollar ties and you want to play it.” shoved into the closet yourself until your Number four: The old “A donation has chance to redeem yourself on Father’s Day. been donated to the (insert convincing Number six: A copy of any movie title for charity organization here) organ- negatively reviewed by TRW staff. We are ization in your honor” trick. Let it go, it’s god and know what is best for you, do not over. George Costanza ruined it for us all. fight us on this. No one disagrees with our Besides, didn’t I already establish that most reviews because we are the final authority of you are greedy? Most people would want on what is a good movie. to stone your for cheating them out of a pres- Number five: X-Box games for your ent even if it was a “real” charity. dad. Dude, he’s not that dumb. Even he Number three: The IGIA facial hair doesn’t believe you when you reply, “Dad removal system for your girlfriend (er... ex it doesn’t matter if you have an X-Box. girlfriend). Stupid, just prepare to be slapped. Number two: Any “Oakley” products bought from a guy with his very own cart set up within three blocks of M & T Bank Stadium. At least use the right color sharpie when you squeeze in the “l” that the Oakley company keeps mysteriously forgetting to put on there. Number one: More BBQ toys Courtesy of tupac-resurrection.com for your dad. Here is the deal. If you Being Real: Resurrection embraces the full scope of Tupac’s life, much as Tupac give him one more meat fork, even if embraced his life itself. the guy on TV said it is a “revolu- tionary new design,” you are going to be spending Christmas alone in Some Immortal Images: Tupac the Emergency Room with four evenly spaced puncture wounds in your forehead. Resurrection Captures Entire You don’t have to listen to me. I could be wrong and it could very Scope of A Rap Legend on Film well be me fighting Bob for that last Courtesy of IGIA.com 5 pound Big Bite on December 25th, Wax That Lip: A gift is not the best way to but if you trust me buy these gifts at ative vision are the main highlights of KENNETH MALLORY approach your girlfriends little problem. your own risk. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Tupac Resurrection. The film follows him from cradle to grave to ultimate While not apparent to most of its rebirth. One is able to witness his hum- followers, a huge incongruity exists in ble beginnings as the son of Afeni hip-hop culture. Although the culture Shakur, a Black Panther who gave birth appropriates machismo, misogyny and to Tupac soon after she was released aggression, insecurity and fragility from prison for her alleged involvement whimpers behind these expressions. in various radical affairs. Most rappers may indeed appear We can follow Tupac to Baltimore menacing by espousing violent and hate- as an impoverished teenage student at ful lyrics in their music, yet this is only the Baltimore School for the Performing for show. There is something hidden Arts, and then to Marin City, California deep in the innards of most rappers: as a struggling artist trying to break into pain. This pain is mostly the result of the rap industry. When he breaks into the poverty, oppression, and genius- ham- industry via the rap group Digital pered creativity that loudly screams to Underground, Tupac develops his repu- be released. tation as controversial rapper, frequently Perhaps most rappers understand the running into skirmishes with law. This is aforementioned incongruity, but do not best explained in Tupac own words as he willingly articulate it. It is possible that divulges: “I didn’t have a record until I most rappers justify their inattention to started making records.” it by reasoning that expressing pain and Despite his marred reputation, hurt is a decidedly female thing to do Tupac’s music continually glorified thug and should not find its place in a mascu- life. However, Pac clarifies that the thug line rapper’s music. life he raps about is not merely a high- A clear exception to such is found in light of the wanton violence and crime the expressions of the rapper Tupac. In of urban life. Rather, he reveals that he the new documentary film Tupac views a thug as any person striving to Resurrection, Tupac reminds us that he beat the odds. Tupac thought that thugs was unafraid of baring his emotions would not have to struggle forever- they when he publicizes his anger and pain in would one day be redeemed. his music and film clips. In the film he Resurrection poignantly shows blatantly and boldly claims: “I have Tupac’s tireless effort to conquer the feminine characteristics”, of which he powers that be through his music and explains are a result of growing up acting and his seeming futility at this enraged because of the lack of neither goal when his life ends due to senseless stability nor a male role model in his violence. Yet, what may have seemed adolescent years. futile was indeed a worthwhile goal. Plainly, such audacity is what sets Posthumously, Tupac’s records still Tupac apart from the rappers who sell millions of copies. Movies like helped create the abysmal state of hip- Tupac Resurrection also prove that Pac hop today. While most rappers lie about leaves an indelible, lasting impression what is really happening on the streets on one’s mind. and in the homes of urban Americans, Essentially, Tupac’s words, his music Tupac told the total truth. and his image are proving themselves Tupac’s boldness and startling cre- resilient- it appears they will never die. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 27 UMBC’s Clubs: Making Your Life Fun The UMBC Gospel Choir’s Fall Concert is Looking Good

The UMBC Gospel Choir was revived Umoja celebration at UMBC, the National in the fall of 1986 under the leadership of Youth Convention for the church of God, Stephen F. Key (alumnus) and Sandra D. the National Black Gospel College choir Wilkins (UMBC staff). A student-run pro- workshop as well as an annual spring con- gram that was originally under the auspices cert featuring minister O’Landa Draper. of the Black Student Union, the choir has In addition to it’s off campus engage- expanded tremendously in the last 15 years. ments, the gospel choir also conducts fre- Currently the choir is under the leadership quent joy nights and annual spring and fall courtesy of UMBC’s of Directress Janice Jackson and assistant concerts. They performed in Florence Italy Director Andrew Best. The choir is com- in the summer of 2003, go for Christian Gospel Choir posed of members from the UMBC under- retreats like Abana to name one, performed graduate and graduate community as well as in Las Vegas 2 years ago, and perform at UMBC staff and alumni. functions like the Alpha Nu Omega events Since the fall of 1993 the choir has on campus. They have also held wonderful been an independently run student organiza- performances at the Christian community tion and for the first time, in the fall of 1997, church of God along with the UMBC the choir was recognized as an accredited Jubilee singers and the UMBC Perfected course at the University of Maryland. The Praise Dance Ministry. only thing that has not changed about the On the 6th of December, the UMBC choir is its mission: to use the ministry of Gospel Choir is having their annual fall song to reach and win souls for the Lord. concert and tickets are 7 dollars in advance The UMBC Gospel choir has per- and 10 dollars at the door. It will be a won- formed on numerous occasions in the derful and joyous night as they praise and Baltimore and Washington metropolitan worship the Lord. It will be a blessed night areas. Among their engagements are per- so hope to see you there. formances at planet music, the annual Stay Blessed.

Want to see your club in the paper?

Well, now you can! It’s easy: just send your picture and/or a write up of your event, and become instant campus celebrities!

Pictures must be in jpg/jpeg/tif.tiff format and have captions.The write-ups should be 25 to 125 words, due by the Wednesday previous to the desired issue. send to [email protected] TRW reserves the rights to refuse any material. Page 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES December 2, 2003 Confessions Of The Cook Boy

¡ Studying Bites By Noah Tillman-Young Two years ago around this time of year Studies done in the Maryland school all the walls were crashing in on me. Exam system have shown that students who eat a time was at my heels, viciously nibbling complete breakfast in the morning are more away the little flesh they could grasp. It was likely to optimize their academic perform- terrible. And boy did I make some big mis- ance. I’m often on the run and don’t find takes when it came to studying. It was only much time for breakfast; but when I do fol- later, after the grueling consequences that low this rule I find that I concentrate better followed my exam periods that I bothered during the day, especially in my morning to research how my nutrition choices may classes. If you really just can’t stand eating have affected my academic performance. breakfast or bother to make the time for it, Rule number 1. Don’t eat heavy pro- at least grab a bottle O.J. it will make all the tein rich and fatty snacks when studying difference before you start that 8 o clock late. class. I broke this just about every late night Rule number 4. Eat fruits, fibrous I stayed up studying. Super sized Sierra foods, and vegetables. Mist, Twin Tacos and Nachos engulfed my During the day avoid eating junk system on a nightly basis. There are a cou- foods, and products made with refined ple of good reasons why to avoid theses sugar and flour (ie. snack foods). Try to at types of foods. They sit in your stomach least eat healthy during the exam periods so and give your system a lot of work to do. A that your body can devote time and energy sluggish stomach means a sluggish brain. to studying rather than ridding its system of Heavy snacks often inspire a feeling of toxins and junk. Complex carbs such as lethargy which increases your chances of legumes, fruits, and unrefined grains pro- falling asleep into your books. Not a pleas- duce a calming effect that helps relax you ant experience. when you study. Milk, bananas and leafy Carbohydrates are easier to digest, green vegetables stimulate the release of allowing your body to devote more energy the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine to the brain, and less to the gut. The brain makes people feel happy, stripping away also loves carbs, utilizing 20% of the carbs that bad attitude of hardcore studying.. our bodies intake. Our brain works best Rule number 5. Morning exercise. when we have a steady moderate flow of If you do get to bed at a decent hour sugars during studying periods. The excep- the night before, try to exercise in the morn- tions to this rule are fish and nuts, which ing. It gets you up and stimulates your mind provide the body with omega-3 fatty and and body helping to increase concentration omega-6 fatty acids. These fatty acids safe- and retention. You don’t even have to run a ly increase the flow of oxygen to the brain, mile. Do a few jumping jacks and run in increasing efficiency in studying, earning place a bit; it will make quite a difference. the nick name “brain food” It might be difficult to apply all five Rule number 2. Don’t drink Coffee rules but if you can follow just two, or unless you have to, don’t drink coffee if maybe three it can make a noticeable you aren’t accustomed to it. change in your studying results. I wish two People have such different reactions to years ago I had known what I know now. It excess amounts of caffeine. It’s not uncom- completely diminished many of the chal- mon to find those that get jittery and shak- lenges I face when I need to study. ing after having a hot cup of java. Others Food plays an important role in our get hyper while some are actually put to life and can affect everything we experi- sleep by caffeine. It’s difficult to study if ence in one way or another. Study hard. you happen to get shaky and hyper. The And try forming studying groups with worse thing is when caffeine does keep you classmates, it’s a fun way to learn and up, but you feel like a lifeless vegetable retain knowledge. Chip in together to buy unable to process the simplest thoughts. healthy brain snacks that will promote Instead you should try slowly sipping fruit you’re learning objectives. Don’t stress juices. This flow of sugars helps provide over exams or final projects; it only makes short term energy that assist in rejuvenating things worse, relax and have a good time your mind and providing short effective studying, winter break is just around the bursts of valuable concentration. corner. Rule number 3. Eat a full breakfast every day. -Cook Boy

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Beginning [Dec. 4] Events Happening Throughout Incidentally... the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus Beginning [Dec. 2] Thursday, December 4 will get two great performances tonight, Tchaikovsky Rolls in His Grave as the two classic R & B groups have Whether you celebrate (a) Christmas, (b) teamed up for the “Comedy Soul Wednesday, December 3 admission, $5 students and seniors. Hanukkah, (c) Kwanzaa or (d) none / all Festival,” a name which implies that Slot Machines: Now or Never Call 410-455-6240 for information and of the above, it’s about time you take a you’ll also be getting a comic along Speakers including Roy Meyers, associ- reservations. You can also see the per- break from trolling the mall, and get your with your music. That’s what I call a ate professor of political science at formance on Dec. 6, same time and ass in the Holiday Spirit™, as everyone’s three-for-one bargain. TM* UMBC, and Warren Deschenaux, direc- same place. favorite alternative rock station, 99.1 tor of the Office of Policy Analysis in the WHFS, honors its annual tradition with Friday, December 5 MD Department of Legislative Services, Saturday, December 6 the HFSmas Nutcracker. This year’s cast When News Breaks… will be giving an informative lecture Ajooba Dance Festival and More of jolly elves will including Blink 182, … he’s sure to fix it. The hilarious Jon titled “Slots, the Budget, and the Future The South Asian Student Association Staind, The Offspring, Chevelle, Stewart, host, I’m sure everyone is of Maryland” at 1pm. The symposium is will be throwin their yearly dance, food, Hoobastank and Korn. Mr. and Mrs. aware, of Comedy Central’s The Daily being hosted by the MD Institute for fashion and more gala on the main street Claus get their groove on, starting 6:30 at Show, is rolling into the Meyerhoff Policy Analysis and Research at UMBC in the commons. Doors at 7, Tickets $8 the Patriot Center in Fairfax, V.A. TM* Symphony Hall downtown, backed by (MIPAR) and will be held on the 7th in advance, $10 at the door, can be the full orchestra, conducted by Yuri floor of the AOK Library. bought at the commons info desk. Clowning Around? Temirkanov and featuring cellist Yo-Yo In an event bursting with sheer audacity, Ma! Um… just kidding about that last Thursday, December 4 Sunday, December 7 Thunder Dome is hosting something bit. You see, that’s what’s called Contemporary Concert Series UMBC Guitar Ensemble which may be labeled “distasteful” by “satire,” something Stewart’s a whole The department of music will be show- Under the direction of Troy King, the some, “appalling” by others, but the rest heck of a lot better at than I…TM* casing the works of James Staley, com- department of music will present the of us will respond with a confused shrug. poser and trombonist, at 8pm in the Fine concert at 1:30pm in the Fine Arts But for all of you true believers in the Sunday, December 7 Arts Recital Hall. Admission is free. For Recital Hall. Admission is free. For magic that is the Insane Clown Posse, The Man Who Fell to Fairfax more information, call 410-455-MUSC. more information, call 410-455-MUSC. you’d best be your best behavior tonight One of rock’s few living legends, David at 7:00 p.m. for “Juggalettes Gone Bowie, glides into the Patriot Center Friday, December 5 Monday, December 8 Wicked.” No, I’m not kidding. Attend at tonight. Maybe he’ll do a version of Fall Dance Showcase Book Buyback your own risk, for your own pleasure. “Little Drummer Boy,” like he did on The department of dance will present Get rid of the textbooks you don’t want TM* TV that one time with Bing Crosby. performances choreographed by visiting from 9am-3:30pm at the campus book- Puh-rum-pum-pum-pum. TM* artist Adrienne Clancy and UMBC store. A Soul-ibration! dance students. The event will be at It’s combo time over at the MCI Center *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481-SEAT; 8pm in the Fine Arts Studio, Room 317. Got an upcoming event? Email resh- tonight at 7:30. No, as far as I know, you www.ticketmaster.com Ticket prices are as follows: $10 general [email protected] don’t get an order of curly fries free with a large soda pop… however, fans of The Enjoy your winter break! Happy, merry Isley Brothers and of Earth, Wind & Fire this ‘n’ that. Page 30 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 31 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 32 Sports Men’s and Women’s Swimming Make Strong Showing at Patriot Invitational

TIFFANY DEINZER impressive time of 2:04.47. Men’s Retriever Weekly Staff Writer swimming also saw multiple vic- tories, as Carlos Canepa and Losing is never easy. Jakub Sroczynski capture meet Especially for a team as strong as records in the 500-yard freestyle swimming and diving, who have and 200-yard IM, respectively, dominated their competition up to while Brad Green won the 50- this point. Coming into the Patriot yard freestyle. Invitational, women’s swimming Day two continued with more was undefeated and the men’s victories by UMBC, however, team had only narrowly lost one Duke remained in the lead of both meet to Navy, by one point. The divisions. Freshman Agnes Retrievers knew they would be Stanislawska and senior Astrid facing tough competition this Sperling started off the day of weekend against strong programs competition with victories in the such as Duke, George Mason, 200-yard freestyle and the 200- Seton Hall, American, and UNC, yard backstroke. The men’s team however, they were up for the worked hard all day and came up challenge. The men’s team was with two meet records in the 200- hopeful and excited to defend yard freestyle and 800-yard their title from last year. freestyle relay. Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff The first day saw Duke jump The third day was more of Pump Up the Volume: The swim team has turned up the intensity this season. They had another out to an early lead in both the the same as Duke held on to win impressive showing at the Patriot Invitational in Virginia last weekend. men’s and women’s divisions, but both the men’s and women’s divi- one in the 400-yard medley relay, the 100 and 200-yard free events Washington University on UMBC was close at their heels, sions. However, the meet was not with the help of Lindsay Prather, at the top of the list. The January 12. Such strong perform- with the men’s team in second a disappointment for the team. Holly Wittasck, and Agnes Retrievers swam hard this week- ances by both teams so far this and the women’s team in third. Over the weekend, UMBC broke Stanislawska. UMBC also broke end despite not coming in first. year keep coach Chad Cradock The day was full of successes as five team records. Astrid Sperling seven meet records with They look forward to continuing optimistic for strong finishes in Agnes Stanislawska took home led with three, two coming in the Sperling’s 200-yard back victory the second half of their season the America East Championships the 200-yard IM victory with an 100 and 200-yard backstroke and and Stanislawska’s victories in when they take on Mary later in the year. UMBC Athletes Tell the Story of the 2003 Fall Season

ANDREW CHANEY game and cannot be upset with the playing well,” McGowan said. It helps when a lot of people are behind you,” Skala said. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff loss. We definitely played a better game than Hartford,” Patton said. Senior Justin Nall- “We are generally a defensive-minded Junior Julia Waclawiak- “I Field Hockey Senior Lori Quintaville- “We team although Derek is certainly have learned a lot from the coach- need to take the pressure off Robin more offensive-minded than ing staff and I know that my team- by putting more points on the defensive minded. Our team has mates feel the same way. Without Sophomore Katie Cutchall on board, it’s as simple as that,” used defense to generate offense,” them we wouldn’t be where we her game-winner against Colgate- Quintaville said. Nall stated. are today,” Waclawiak said. “The whole situation couldn’t have been any better. A perfect Sophomore Jessica Golibart- Junior Derek McElligott- pass from Julie and I knew it was Cross Country “The cards haven’t been falling “Pete Caringi is a great coach over,” commented Cutchall. our way,” Golibart said. because he pushed us all season. Sophomore Stefanie Thomas- He is a big reason why this team Junior Kristin Ramsay- “The “The America East conference has Senior Lori Quintaville- from Baltimore County has done effort is there and hopefully the harder competition than the “Everybody was out of steam by so well,” McElligott said. results will come if we continue to Northeast conference,” Thomas the end of the game, but we man- play hard as a team,” Ramsay said. aged to fight through adversity to said. Volleyball sink one in,” Quintaville said. Senior Adam Driscoll- Junior Jen Rowe- “We played Sophomore Megan “Regionals is a tough race and the much better this game than we did Men’s Soccer Gross- “It’s always frustrating to competition is as good as it gets,” in the other games this season. In lose when you try hard, but I have Driscoll exclaimed. fact, we dominated most of this Junior George Bakoulas- no complaints tonight. Everyone game,” Rowe exclaimed. “This was a great win for us. If we tried their hardest,” Gross said. Sophomore Izudin keep winning conference games Mehmedovic- “We’re gearing for Junior Cecile Banas- “One of we’ll end up in first place,” Graduate student Jennifer the conference championships,” the things that head coach Bakoulas said. Davis on her 1,000 career kills- Mehmedovic remarked. Hartman likes to say is that any “Before yesterday, I didn’t even team can beat any team on any Sophomore Matt McGowan- know. It’s something I’ve wanted Freshman Morgan Little- given day,” Banas commented. “We have only lost one time this to achieve and it felt great to do “The course was the easiest course year, so we have got to be doing it,” Davis said. I have ever run on. There were no something right. The only loss we hills, no pavement in sight. The Women’s Soccer have had this season was also Sophomore Christine Skala- only area of concern were some Senior Carolynn Patton- “I against the fourth ranked team in “We’re definitely very happy to be muddy patches at the start of the think we all learned a lot from this the nation, so we are certainly playing in front of the home fans. course,” Little said. Page 33 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS December 2, 2003 UMBC Blows Out Local Rival Loyola Then Edges Towson in Battle of Baltimore Final weekly poll Would you like to see the Battle of Baltimore continue next year?

A.) Yes B.) No C.) Chimpanzee

last week’s weekly poll If UMBC got rid of the Retriever, what should the new mascot be?

Squirrel-75% Eagle-2% Kangaroo-15% Chimpanzee-8%

Who’s Hot The men’s basketball team for A. Mercier / Retriever Weekly Staff making quick work of Loyola Winning Tradition: Sophomore John Zito and juniors Andrew Feeley and Rob Gogerty keep Loyola away from the hoop. and Towson in the Battle of The Retrievers blew the Greyhounds out in the contest. Baltimore. The Dawgs cruised from B-BALL, page 40 to tie the game and pulled off their eighth Andrew Feeley was named MVP, behind the play of juniors missed shots we usually make. Our straight Battle of Baltimore win. recording an impressive 29 points (10-16 Andrew Feeley and Rob defense was good, but their shots were UMBC had three players in double field goals) and 15 rebounds in the tour- Gogerty. still dropping and we were out of sync digits including Feeley (10 points and nament. This is his second straight year offensively,” Sullivan said. “We were five rebounds), McJimson (12 points and on the All-Tournament team. Gogerty trying to draw them out of zone, because eight rebounds), and Zito (11 points and and McJimson also earned All- we’re better in man to man.” six rebounds). Gogerty also set a person- Tournament team honors. Who’s Not The Retriever offense soon got back al and Battle of Baltimore record with 11 This was the last year for the Battle The Towson Tigers for in sync, going on a 15-2 run sparked by assists. of Baltimore. The sponsors have looked losing the big Battle of sophomores Feeley and Cory McJimson. The Retrievers forced 17 turnovers at the turnouts each year and decided it Baltimore game. The At the half UMBC led 27-23. The while holding Towson to 37.7% field was not worth covering anymore. As a Tigers also fell to our Retrievers never relinquished the lead goal shooting. “We can be a very good result partner schools, not including dominant swimming and after that. Senior Kareem Washington defensive team and I feel very comfort- UMBC, have voted to discontinue the diving teams. drained two three-pointers to extend the able offensively having two good point tournament. lead to 12. With 1:26 left to play the guards in Gogerty and Chris Pugh”, The Retrievers next game is on Dec. Retrievers rejected Towson’s last attempt Sullivan said. 2 when they host Princeton. Athleteof theWeek: Jakub Sroczynski by Amanda Otis Last weekend, the men’s swim- tion. Teammate Adam Blais says, “It is Zielona Gora squad since 1990, ming and diving team finished second always exciting to watch Jakub swim. If Scrozynski contributes his success to a out of ten teams in the George Mason there is a close race, you always know that balanced lifestyle. He says he just Invitational, losing only to swimming he is going to win. He always seems to swims for fun and swimmers should powerhouse Duke University. Junior have a better race strategy than his com- “all enjoy life and be happy with the Jakub Sroczynski was a big contribu- petitors.” sport they are doing.” tor to the team’s success, smashing UMBC was fortunate enough to recruit Sroczynski has admiration and meet records in the 200 yard freestyle Sroczynski from Central Connecticut State respect from all of his teammates, male and 200 yard individual medley events last year after they lost their men’s team. and female alike. Junior butterflier with times of 1:40.17 and 1:51.55, His freshman year, he was named NEC Leslie Sturdevant says, “Jakub is respectively. Both times are just tenths Rookie of the Week for winning both the amazing. It’s so fun watching him from school records. Sroczynski was 200 backstroke and 500 freestyle. swim because you know he puts all his also anchor of the 800 yard freestyle Last year, Sroczynski was named the effort into every race.” Sophomore relay team that beat the meet record. Outstanding Male Swimmer of the NEC standout Geza Szabo says, “Jakub Overall, he helped contribute to 207 Invitational after winning the 200 back- swims with more confidence and pur- out of the 666 points scored by stroke and coming in second in the 500 pose than anyone. I have never seen UMBC. freestyle. He was named the Most Valuable him complaining about anything.” Sroczynski is known for a strong Athlete of the men’s team that year as well. Hopefully this confidence will help finish to his races, and can always be A member of the Polish National Team him continue to be a top competitor in counted on to out touch the competi- since 1993 and a member of the Novita-10 meets for the rest of the season. Page 34 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS December 2, 2003 Feeley Finds His Groove And the Retrievers Cruise Past Towson

ANDREW CHANEY Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff

UMBC center Andrew Feeley has matured as a player in his two years on the basketball team. It only took him two days to prove to everyone in Baltimore area that he is the complete package. Feeley scored 19 points against Loyola and added ten against Towson to capture the Most Valuable Player award in the 2003 Battle of Baltimore. He was a young Retriever when the 2001 season tipped off and has since brought his game to another level. Feeley started 21 games in his first year and had a difficult time getting around bigger defend- ers. Despite being pushed around, Feeley never gave up and gutted out every game. He tallied 20 points and added 15 rebounds as a starter in a game against Quinnipiac. Feeley also played 41 minutes and grabbed seven rebounds in his second start against Central Connecticut. Feeley was on his way up. He began the 2002 season with a bang when he was named to the Battle of Baltimore All-Tournament team. He also looked strong in a game against Towson with a 16-point effort. When the 2002 sea- son came to a close he was fourth in the NEC in rebounding and fifth in field goal percentage. Feeley found his groove in the Battle of Baltimore this year and helped the Retrievers cruise to a 59-53 win over Towson. Feeley earned America East Player of the Week after his dominating performance. After two years of hard File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff fought games the New Jersey native is Standing Tall: UMBC center Andrew Feeley has developed during his time as a Retriever to provide an inside threat. finally getting the respect he deserves.

UMBC Athletic Awards and Accolades for the Fall Season

By David Jun : Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

Outstanding Athlete of the Team With the Best Season: Derek McElligott “Runday” Uniforms: Cross Country The junior midfielder for the UMBC Retrievers soccer team scored a It can’t get much better when you career-high 15 goals this season have athletes literally running across and has 39 career goals for his an expanse of the world with the bare UMBC soccer career (3rd all-time minimum of a uniform. You only have at the school). At the end of the one uniform in this sport and on UMBC season, McElligott ranked gameday, you are as exposed as any- fourth in the nation in goals per body. It’s just you and the world. game. With all that scoring, he has Sometimes, mother nature is your garnered First Team All-Am East toughest opponent. honors. Most Youthful Team: Most Outstanding Student- Women’s Basketball Athlete: Jennifer Davis Take a look at the women’s basketball The most outstanding student-ath- roster this year. Think there are some lete award must be given to a grad- new faces on the court this year? You uate student on the volleyball team are correct. Head coach Phil Stern who has done a remarkable job has brought in a recruiting class that balancing work on the volleyball is quite talented. Yet, the team is led court and in the classroom. She by one only one senior this season hails a 3.94 GPA and reached a and has allowed the six newcomers momentous career milestone this to be thrown into action. Men’s bas- season. She has 1,008 career kills ketball team had a bit of a fight for and 258 career blocks during her this prestigious award, but the ladies illustrious career. Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff won out this time around. Good Position: The Retrievers fought to a top three finish on both the Men’s and Women’s side. Brad Green helped to pace the men. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 35 Page 36 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT Page 37 Page 38 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT December 2, 2003 December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 39 Classifieds about nature. Positions begin or family. Located at 5212 200 AUTO February. Stipends available. Edmondson Avenue, close to 900 SERVICES 1020 WANTED Contact Kristy Streett 410-484- UMBC campus, 3 BR, 2 Bath, M4MUSA.com the #1 gay col- Find great part time and hourly Full-time childcare provider 2413, x15 or streettk@explorena- wall-to-wall carpeting through- lege dating website IM chat and positions at your favorite compa- wanted to care for 7 year old and ture.org. out, air, heat, water, and perfect 1000’s of picture ads. America’s nies! Call 877-845-6504 or visit 2 year old in my home in yard for play and socializing. largest gay dating service enter Wanted: Assistant Electronic www.snagajob.com. 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Internships ROOM in TH, UMBC area, STS, America’s #1 Student Tour and volunteer positions available dsl+cable ready, W/D, AC, bsm. 4 Operator to Jamaica, Cancun, visit trw.umbc.edu/ads to lead nature activities at storage, $230-400/mo, Acapulco, Bahamas and Florida. Baltimore City schools, and on- [email protected] Now hiring campus reps. Call for site nature walks for kids. Get 700 Rentals group discounts. hands-on experience and learn Information/Reservations 1-800- Ideal house for RENT for students 648-4849 or www.ststravel.com. December 2, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 40 Sports Retrievers Rack Up Fourth and Final BOB Championship

DEREK SMITH the extra pass to get the open Retriever Weekly Staff Writer shot, broke the press with ease and forced 17 turnovers. For the fourth straight year “I was very surprised with UMBC men’s basketball has the blowout win. In the past won the coveted Battle of Loyola has given us trouble,” Baltimore basketball tourna- head coach Tom Sullivan said. ment. After dominating the Feeley finished the game Loyola Greyhounds 72-50, the with 19 points and ten Retrievers edged out a victory rebounds, shooting 7-9 from against local rival Towson 59- the field while recording his 53. seventh career double-double. UMBC got out to a fast Rob Gogerty also had a good start against Loyola, taking a game, shooting 7-11 for 16 12-3 lead. There was no look- points. Zito also scored in dou- ing back as the Retrievers took ble digits with ten points and a 41-20 lead into halftime. five assists. The Retrievers They dominated the paint; defense held the Greyhounds to grabbing 11 offensive rebounds 33.3% shooting. and junior center Andrew The anticipated match-up Feeley hit 5-6 first half field between Towson and UMBC goals. The Greyhounds cut the proved to be a good one. The lead down 12 during the second Retrievers went through an half, but sophomore John Zito early drought against the tough hit two straight to destroy any Tiger zone defense. hopes of a Loyola come back. “They came off the block a A. Mercier / Retriever Weekly Staff UMBC displayed excellent little quicker than us, and we Retrievers Win: The Retrievers used a strong inside presence to win the Battle of Baltimore for the teamwork, often times making see B-BALL, page 33 fourth consecutive time. This may have been the last year for the tournament.