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SECTION 1 Classical Asian Sources and Traditions ∵ Ping Wang - 9789004344198 Downloaded from Brill.com09/26/2021 01:04:23PM via free access <UN> Ping Wang - 9789004344198 Downloaded from Brill.com09/26/2021 01:04:23PM via free access chapter 1 The Chinese Concept of Friendship: Confucian Ethics and the Literati Narratives of Pre-Modern China Ping Wang Abstract From a historical perspective, this article attempts to explore the importance of friend- ship in traditional Chinese culture and its implications. It starts with the etymological study of the term ‘friend,’ and the value attached to it, followed by an examination of the concept of friendship in a broader socio-historical context—in particular the Confucian role ethics and the Chinese literati tradition; finally it briefly reflects on the impact of this concept on Chinese society today. In traditional Chinese ethics, an individual is never defined by him-/herself, but by his/her various roles in relation to others around him/her. An etymological investiga- tion explains why the relationship between friends was included in the ‘five cardinal human relationships.’ These roles and relations not only constitute one’s initial condi- tions, but also operate within the grand matrix of heaven-earth-human. Examples of friendship and its various types in classical philosophical and literary texts are ana- lyzed to illustrate the significance of friendship as part of the narratives and moral particularities of Chinese people as well as its long-lasting impact. Introduction “A truly virtuous man would come to the aid of the most distant stranger as quickly as to his own friend,” said Montesquieu; “If men were perfectly virtuous, they wouldn’t have friends.”1 This noble sentiment of universal con- cern articulated by the Enlightenment philosopher is not absent from tra- ditional Chinese ethics: Mozi (ca. 490–403 bce), one of the most important ancient Chinese philosophers, for example, advocated universal love. The dominant Chinese philosophy on relationship, however, is firmly rooted in 1 Sandel, Democracy’s Discontent, 342. © koninklijke brill nv, leiden, ���7 | doi �0.��63/9789004344�98_003 Ping Wang - 9789004344198 Downloaded from Brill.com09/26/2021 01:04:23PM via free access <UN> 26 Wang Confucian ethics of smaller solidarities, starting from relationships between family members and, by extension, friends. According to Confucian ethics, people learn to love humanity not in general, but through the particular expressions of role ethics. It is precisely through “ cultivating those thick, intrinsic relations that constitute one’s ini- tial conditions and that locate the trajectory of one’s life force within family, community and cosmos”2 that persons become consummate in their conduct (ren: 仁). This key-concept in Confucian ethics stems from the central concern for human relationships and required roles. Etymologically, the character 仁 consists of two components: a people radical on the left (人), and a num- ber two (二)on the right. Together, the character refers to the relationship between two people. Ren is love between people, hence two persons together. The concept is translated into English in various ways: as ‘benevolence,’ ‘lov- ing relationships,’ or as ‘acting humanely.’ ‘Ren’ connotes an ideal ethical orien- tation from which one sees the ethical life as a never-ending task. To cultivate ren means to achieve propriety in what one says and does in any given situa- tion. This could mean affection and reverence for elders, earnestness or doing one’s best for others, as well as tolerance, trust, diligence and generosity.3 This fundamental idea was elaborated in all of the four Confucian canonical texts known as the “Four Books” (Sishu).4 In China, the importance of friendship is markedly demonstrated by its in- clusion in the Confucian ethics of ‘five cardinal human relationships’ ( wulun): 2 Ames, Confucian Role Ethics, 107. 3 See Lunyu 17:6. Ren is closely related to yi and li, two other most important notions in Confu- cian ethics. Yi, often translated as righteousness, is the underpinning of the Confucian moral system. It refers to the rightness of an action, which is morally fitting in the circumstances. Like ren and yi, li is a key ethical term in Confucian philosophy. It is often translated as ‘pro- priety.’ Stemming from ‘rites’ or ‘ritual,’ li refers to the outward adornment of all yi, com- prising decorous ceremonies performed in specific settings as well as everyday circumspect behaviors and manners. All these have to be appropriate, through showing respect and cour- tesy. All these will be further elaborated in the section entitled, “Friendship and Traditional Chinese Philosophy” below. 4 Zhu Xi (1130–1200) took two texts, the Daxue (The great learning) and the Zhongyong (Doc- trine of the mean) from the Liji (Book of rites), and added them to the Lunyu (Analects) and the Mengzi (Mencius) to constitute the Four Books—a compendium of Confucian texts; see Zhu Xi, Sishu zhangju jizhu (The Four Books in Chapters and Sentences). For more details about the Four Books, see Johnston and Wang, Daxue & Zhongyong. Ping Wang - 9789004344198 Downloaded from Brill.com09/26/2021 01:04:23PM via free access <UN> The Chinese Concept of Friendship 27 love between fathers and sons, righteousness between rulers and their sub- jects, seniority between the older and younger brothers, difference between husbands and wives, and trust between friends.5 Chen Jiru (1558–1639), a Ming Dynasty writer, highlighted the importance of friendship in the following re- marks in his preface to Matteo Ricci’s (1552–1610) book On Friendship (Youlun): Friendship is like spring water moving amongst the flowers or wind and thunder moving within the primal breath. Unless there are friendships, the other four [of the five cardinal] relationships cannot be fixed.6 Indeed, in traditional Chinese culture, having close friends is deemed abso- lutely vital to a person’s sense of self and the world. While China has witnessed great changes over time, and traditional ideas have been challenged—most noticeably over the past few decades—Confucian values still find their influ- ence in many aspects of Chinese culture today nonetheless. Limited by its scope, this chapter will focus on pre-modern China. What, then, makes the Chinese concept of friendship distinctive? How does it fit in the equation of Confucian family relations? What role does lite- rati friendship play in Chinese friendship discourse? Who can be considered a good friend? Such questions and more will be discussed from a socio-hist orical perspective whereby friends and friendship are relationally constituted and through emotive notions, rather than being merely cognitive or abstract conceptions. In addressing the issue of friendship in traditional Chinese culture and its implications, we shall start with an etymological examination of the term ‘friend,’ and the value attached to it and its associations. This will be followed by an examination of the concept of friendship in a broader context of Confu- cian ideology, before embarking on an investigation of Chinese literati narra- tive on friendship. In so doing, we try to set out the major dimension of friend- ship as a complex web of overlapping familial and social roles that form part of the moral particularities of the Chinese people. At the outset, however, a few points should be clarified. (1) Traditional Chinese Family Structure In China today, nuclear families are steadily increasing in number, although it is still common for aged parents to live with one of their adult male chil- dren and his family, and for the grandparents to look after the grandchild. 5 See Mengzi (Mencius) 3A:4. 6 See Chen Jiru, “Youlun xiaoxu” (“Preface to On Friendship”), 157. Ping Wang - 9789004344198 Downloaded from Brill.com09/26/2021 01:04:23PM via free access <UN> 28 Wang The family model in ancient China, however, was different. These were typi- cally extended families, like a tree with spread-out branches clinging to a large trunk. Then, it was very common to have three, or even four generations living under one roof. Under this model, a married man, his spouse, and their chil- dren would all live with his aged parents and his siblings, making relationships between members of the large family extremely complex and intricate. That is why hierarchical order and moral cultivation were essential, so that the vari- ous interlocking, and often tangled, relationships should all be woven into one desired pattern. The Confucian sangang (three cardinal relationships) and wuchang (five constant virtues) became the defining features of this family structure. While the latter stipulates the proper conduct of each individual in relation to— others ren (‘benevolence,’ ‘love,’ or ‘humaneness’), yi (‘righteousness’), li (‘propriety’ or ‘proper behavior’), xin (‘fidelity’), and zhi (‘wisdom’)—the former emphasizes the patriarchal order, the king being the principal to his subjects, the father principal to his son, and husband principal to his wife. Women were at the bottom of the family structure; the most difficult and for- midable role was that of the daughter-in-law, for she was also under the control of her mother-in-law. In the old China, when a girl married, she was expected to leave her own home, move in with her husband’s family, and dutifully perform her proper roles: being loyal to her husband, obedient to her in-laws, respectful to her brothers-in-law, and nice to her sisters-in-law. Looking after everyone in her husband’s household was nothing short of daunting as such, even apart from the most intricate and difficult relationships with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. Women’s low status at home and in the society explains why, at least partially, most of the discourses on friendship in ancient China are about men, with women rarely—if ever—mentioned.