SECTION 1 Classical Asian Sources and Traditions
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Ping Wang
Abstract
From a historical perspective, this article attempts to explore the importance of friend- ship in traditional Chinese culture and its implications. It starts with the etymological study of the term ‘friend,’ and the value attached to it, followed by an examination of the concept of friendship in a broader socio-historical context—in particular the Confucian role ethics and the Chinese literati tradition; finally it briefly reflects on the impact of this concept on Chinese society today. In traditional Chinese ethics, an individual is never defined by him-/herself, but by his/her various roles in relation to others around him/her. An etymological investiga- tion explains why the relationship between friends was included in the ‘five cardinal human relationships.’ These roles and relations not only constitute one’s initial condi- tions, but also operate within the grand matrix of heaven-earth-human. Examples of friendship and its various types in classical philosophical and literary texts are ana- lyzed to illustrate the significance of friendship as part of the narratives and moral particularities of Chinese people as well as its long-lasting impact.
Introduction
“A truly virtuous man would come to the aid of the most distant stranger as quickly as to his own friend,” said Montesquieu; “If men were perfectly virtuous, they wouldn’t have friends.”1 This noble sentiment of universal con- cern articulated by the Enlightenment philosopher is not absent from tra- ditional Chinese ethics: Mozi (ca. 490–403 bce), one of the most important ancient Chinese philosophers, for example, advocated universal love. The dominant Chinese philosophy on relationship, however, is firmly rooted in
1 Sandel, Democracy’s Discontent, 342.
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Confucian ethics of smaller solidarities, starting from relationships between family members and, by extension, friends. According to Confucian ethics, people learn to love humanity not in general, but through the particular expressions of role ethics. It is precisely through “cultivating those thick, intrinsic relations that constitute one’s ini- tial conditions and that locate the trajectory of one’s life force within family, community and cosmos”2 that persons become consummate in their conduct (ren: 仁). This key-concept in Confucian ethics stems from the central concern for human relationships and required roles. Etymologically, the character 仁 consists of two components: a people radical on the left (人), and a num- ber two (二)on the right. Together, the character refers to the relationship between two people. Ren is love between people, hence two persons together. The concept is translated into English in various ways: as ‘benevolence,’ ‘lov- ing relationships,’ or as ‘acting humanely.’ ‘Ren’ connotes an ideal ethical orien- tation from which one sees the ethical life as a never-ending task. To cultivate ren means to achieve propriety in what one says and does in any given situa- tion. This could mean affection and reverence for elders, earnestness or doing one’s best for others, as well as tolerance, trust, diligence and generosity.3 This fundamental idea was elaborated in all of the four Confucian canonical texts known as the “Four Books” (Sishu).4 In China, the importance of friendship is markedly demonstrated by its in- clusion in the Confucian ethics of ‘five cardinal human relationships’ (wulun):
2 Ames, Confucian Role Ethics, 107. 3 See Lunyu 17:6. Ren is closely related to yi and li, two other most important notions in Confu- cian ethics. Yi, often translated as righteousness, is the underpinning of the Confucian moral system. It refers to the rightness of an action, which is morally fitting in the circumstances. Like ren and yi, li is a key ethical term in Confucian philosophy. It is often translated as ‘pro- priety.’ Stemming from ‘rites’ or ‘ritual,’ li refers to the outward adornment of all yi, com- prising decorous ceremonies performed in specific settings as well as everyday circumspect behaviors and manners. All these have to be appropriate, through showing respect and cour- tesy. All these will be further elaborated in the section entitled, “Friendship and Traditional Chinese Philosophy” below. 4 Zhu Xi (1130–1200) took two texts, the Daxue (The great learning) and the Zhongyong (Doc- trine of the mean) from the Liji (Book of rites), and added them to the Lunyu (Analects) and the Mengzi (Mencius) to constitute the Four Books—a compendium of Confucian texts; see Zhu Xi, Sishu zhangju jizhu (The Four Books in Chapters and Sentences). For more details about the Four Books, see Johnston and Wang, Daxue & Zhongyong.
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Friendship is like spring water moving amongst the flowers or wind and thunder moving within the primal breath. Unless there are friendships, the other four [of the five cardinal] relationships cannot be fixed.6
Indeed, in traditional Chinese culture, having close friends is deemed abso- lutely vital to a person’s sense of self and the world. While China has witnessed great changes over time, and traditional ideas have been challenged—most noticeably over the past few decades—Confucian values still find their influ- ence in many aspects of Chinese culture today nonetheless. Limited by its scope, this chapter will focus on pre-modern China. What, then, makes the Chinese concept of friendship distinctive? How does it fit in the equation of Confucian family relations? What role does lite- rati friendship play in Chinese friendship discourse? Who can be considered a good friend? Such questions and more will be discussed from a socio-hist orical perspective whereby friends and friendship are relationally constituted and through emotive notions, rather than being merely cognitive or abstract conceptions. In addressing the issue of friendship in traditional Chinese culture and its implications, we shall start with an etymological examination of the term ‘friend,’ and the value attached to it and its associations. This will be followed by an examination of the concept of friendship in a broader context of Confu- cian ideology, before embarking on an investigation of Chinese literati narra- tive on friendship. In so doing, we try to set out the major dimension of friend- ship as a complex web of overlapping familial and social roles that form part of the moral particularities of the Chinese people. At the outset, however, a few points should be clarified.
(1) Traditional Chinese Family Structure In China today, nuclear families are steadily increasing in number, although it is still common for aged parents to live with one of their adult male chil- dren and his family, and for the grandparents to look after the grandchild.
5 See Mengzi (Mencius) 3A:4. 6 See Chen Jiru, “Youlun xiaoxu” (“Preface to On Friendship”), 157.
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The family model in ancient China, however, was different. These were typi- cally extended families, like a tree with spread-out branches clinging to a large trunk. Then, it was very common to have three, or even four generations living under one roof. Under this model, a married man, his spouse, and their chil- dren would all live with his aged parents and his siblings, making relationships between members of the large family extremely complex and intricate. That is why hierarchical order and moral cultivation were essential, so that the vari- ous interlocking, and often tangled, relationships should all be woven into one desired pattern. The Confucian sangang (three cardinal relationships) and wuchang (five constant virtues) became the defining features of this family structure. While the latter stipulates the proper conduct of each individual in relation to— others ren (‘benevolence,’ ‘love,’ or ‘humaneness’), yi (‘righteousness’), li (‘propriety’ or ‘proper behavior’), xin (‘fidelity’), and zhi (‘wisdom’)—the former emphasizes the patriarchal order, the king being the principal to his subjects, the father principal to his son, and husband principal to his wife. Women were at the bottom of the family structure; the most difficult and for- midable role was that of the daughter-in-law, for she was also under the control of her mother-in-law. In the old China, when a girl married, she was expected to leave her own home, move in with her husband’s family, and dutifully perform her proper roles: being loyal to her husband, obedient to her in-laws, respectful to her brothers-in-law, and nice to her sisters-in-law. Looking after everyone in her husband’s household was nothing short of daunting as such, even apart from the most intricate and difficult relationships with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. Women’s low status at home and in the society explains why, at least partially, most of the discourses on friendship in ancient China are about men, with women rarely—if ever—mentioned.
(2) Women in Relation to Friendship The domestic domain of women can be also illustrated by the Chinese character for ‘peace’ (an, 安), which is formed by a woman with a wide roof over her head. The idea be- ing that when women are kept inside the house, there is peace in the household. The idea behind this comes ac- cross more clearly in the archaic seal style character:7
7 Chinese characters have a history dating back thousands of years. The earliest are or- acle bone characters: characters, or rather, symbols carved on bones and shells, some
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This gendered spatial boundary between the outer and inner was already established as early as the third or second millennium bce in the Book of Changes (Yijing):8 the heaven and sun are associated with male strength, which is superior and responsible for the outside world, whereas the earth and moon are linked to female weakness which is inferior and serves with- in the household.9 Since women were confined to the feminine space of the home, they hardly had any opportunity to have outside contacts to estab- lish friendships, which, after all, was traditionally a public sphere—a man’s privilege. Of course, there were exceptions. In the course of China’s long history, there were times when women, generally from gentry families, or more lib- eral environments were lucky enough to have access to some education and thus able to read and write. There were even women’s literary/poetry associa- tions and other social clubs, where women could exchange poetry or play music and chess. This opened an avenue for women to establish friendship with other women. Close female friendships are often referred to as guimi (boudoir sweet ones)—friends who can confide in one another. However, this was rare. That is why scholar officials, usually men, will be the main concern of this chapter.
(3) Relationships between Men Relationships between men were very important in ancient China. As Martin Huang points out:
…in a patriarchal society such as that of traditional China, masculinity was most likely a homosocial enactment: what mattered most to a man was the security and judgments of other men.10
written in mirror reversals. They were written vertically, a column of text moving usu- ally from right to left (which became the traditional writing direction). When the First Emperor unified China in 221 bce, he had his minister standardize Chinese characters by simplifying the great-seal script then in use, and turning it into the orthodox small-seal script, used 221 bce–200 ce, while suppressing variant forms used in other states. 8 The Book of Changes (Yijing) is one of the oldest Chinese classical texts; its origins trace back to the third and second millennium bce. The book contains a divination system, later interpreted as a system of cosmology and philosophy that subsequently became in- trinsic to Chinese culture. For an English version, see Wynne-Jones, The Book of Changes. 9 See Zhouyi yizhu, Xici A:1. 10 See his “Male Friendship in Ming China: An Introduction.”
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This gave rise to intimate relationships between men, often also with a sensual, sexual, and erotic dimension, as have been observed by many scholars such as Huang,11 who applied Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick’s homosocial- homosexual model in his analysis of male bonding in traditional China (in particular during the second half of the Qing Dynasty (1644–1912 ce) when there was a rise of a cult of friendship among educated males).12 Male- male sexual rapport however, though an interesting topic, is beyond the scope of the present chapter. Instead, we shall concentrate on two major types of friendship between men: the instrumental (networking for career advancement) and the personal (based on shared values, interests, and tastes). Limited by space, this chapter will primarily address issues surround- ing the second type of friendship among the literati. This leads us to the next point.
(4) Literati in Relation to Friendship—With a Focus on the Song Dynasty (960–1279 ce) I have used the term ‘literati’ to refer to the scholar officials of imperial China from the Sui Dynasty (581–618 ce) to the end of the Qing Dynasty in 1912. Those were the scholars who became government officials after earning aca- demic degrees by passing rigorous civil service examinations. Most of them were from the gentry class. Because of their various ranks in the magistracy, they formed the bureaucratic apparatus, and exercised great influence on the political and cultural life of the society. By the Song Dynasty—with the reinforcement of the civil service examination, as well as economic develop- ment and overall prosperity—the literati as a class became firmly established as dominant arbiters of ideology and culture. The fact that these scholars were often far from home and hence in need of friends makes them particu- larly relevant to the topic of this chapter. Their lives as government officials were full of uncertainty, and constant political rivalry in court also often led to banishment and exile. Travelling shaped the lives of many literati. This was woven into the complex fabric of all kinds of social (including family) structures, leaving far-reaching traces in all corners of Song society. It also shed light on the relationship between men and women at the time. This will be elaborated in the section entitled “Friendship and Literati Tradition” below.
11 Huang, Male Friendship in Ming China. 12 Sedgwick, Between Men.
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Historical and Etymological Overview
Friendship, kinship, and place were three pillars of community in ancient China. There was a strong family tie and sense of loyalty to the family and community. Of these three elements, kinship is the fundamental one, and filial piety and fraternal respect are the roots of ren.13
The noble person devotes himself to the root; only when the root is estab- lished, could dao14 grow. Xiaodi—this is the root of ren, is it not?”15
With Xiaodi—being filial towards parents, and respectful of elders16—as the foundation, ren quite literally starts from home; as the Cheng brothers com- mented: there is no love greater than that between one’s kin.17 An etymological examination of the word ‘friend’ (pengyou) will show that this word and its associations are related to family or a closely-knit group, and this unit or group is bound together either by birth/blood, or by learning and interest. In Chinese, ‘friend’ (朋友) is a two-character word, consisting of 朋 (peng) and 友 (you). An etymological examination of these two characters will shed light on the significance of friendship as one of the five cardinal human relationships. The seal style character of peng has the strength of illustrating this symbolically: “朋” has three original explanations: (1) According to the explanation found in Shuowen jiezi (Explaining Graphs and Analyzing Characters),18 this character
13 Lunyu 1:2. 14 Dao, often translated as “way” or “path,” is a term shared by Confucianism, Buddhism and in particular, Daoism—albeit with their respective connotations. Different from the more metaphysical use of the term in Daoist philosophy, Confucian dao is more humanistic in approach; it refers to the general principle of human conduct that is often associated with virtue (de) and loving relationship (ren). See the third section of this chapter, “Friendship and Traditional Chinese Philosophy,” for more about Daoist philosophy. 15 Lunyu 1:2. 16 Shujing 5 (Zhoushu) 21:1. 17 The Cheng brothers—Cheng Yi (1033–1107) and Cheng Hao (1032–1085)—are neo- Confucian philosophers of the Northern Song (960–1126 ce), whose ideas were mostly ad- opted by Zhu Xi. See Lunyu 1:2 in Zhu Xi, Sishu zhangju ji zhu (The Four Books in Chapters and Sentence with Collected Commentaries). 18 The first Chinese dictionary arranged by radicles of characters. The book was compiled between 100 and 121 ce by Han Dynasty philologist Xu Shen (ca. 58–ca. 147 ce). It consists of over 9,000 character entries under 540 radicles. The original copy of the book, however,
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was lost, but fragments of it survived and were used by later scholars before Duan Yucai of the Qing Dynasty compiled his Shuowen jiezi zhu (Commentary on Explaining Graphs and Analyzing Characters). 19 Xu’s explanation of the origins of the characters was based primarily upon a study of the earlier seal script, yet this seal script differs considerably from the older bronzeware script and even older oracle bone script, both of which were unknown at Xu’s time. That is why some of his explanations were erroneous. This was challenged by some scholars, who sug- gested that in the case of ‘peng’ it could be an error made by Xu Shen in his Shuowen jiezi. He confused the ancient character ‘朋’ with ‘鳳,’ which looked and sounded similar. See Duan Yucai, Shuowen jiezi zhu 148B. 20 An anonymous work, written over a period of time (ca. 320 bce–200 ce). It is a book on landscape describing more than 500 mountains and 300 channels, indeed a geographical work in embryonic form, as well as a book of mythology. It contains fables and myths, but also natural features of mountains and seas. For more about this work, see Strassberg, Chinese Bestiary; and Birrell, Classic of Mountains and Seas. 21 Shuowen jiezi zhu 370A. 22 Zheng Xuan, Zhouli 2:70. 23 Shuowen jiezi zhu 116B.
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(2) The character stands for two brothers, two bodies that come from the same womb and share the same blood and qi.24 The latter is often translated as (vital) ‘energy’ or ‘life force,’ and is the central underlying principle in Chinese medicine and martial arts. This concept had a tre- mendous influence on Chinese philosophy and literature, and is crucial in relation to artistic creativity. The qi flows and circulates around and through the body, forming a cohesive and func- tioning unit. It is crucial to understand its rhythm and flow, which consummate in the balance between yin qi and yang qi so as to maintain good health and longevity. The bodies that share the same qi, such as brothers, naturally join together: Being nice to brothers is called you. In other words, friends are like brothers, and fraternity is the root of ren, as mentioned before. (3) Friends as learning companions: If the character peng (朋) focuses more on the meaning of binding/gathering to- gether, the meaning of you (友) is more closely associated with friendship based on similar aspirations and interests. The word ‘friend’ (pengyou) appears to have existed in Chinese since the Book of Changes, one of the oldest classical texts. A statement in Dui gua goes: “a Junzi25 (a noble man) discusses and learns
24 For further explanation on qi and the human body, see Ames, Wandering at Ease in the Zhuangzi, especially Chap. 2; Nylan and Loewe, China’s Early Empires; Sivin, Traditional Medicine. Although different critics have held different views on the functions of qi, it has always remained central to the issue of artistic creativity. The earliest discussion can be found in Cao Pi, “Lunwen” (“A discourse on literature”), 2/2b, where qi is often conceived of as the expression of man’s nature or personality. Later critics, however, tend to associ- ate qi with physiological vigor in the literary or artistic organism. It is the power or im- petus that brings to the surface what is in the writer’s or artist’s mind. It is where we find a dynamic flow of life, an effect of empathy and the emotional import of literary works. For more discussions on the issue of qi, see Xu Fuguan, “Zhongguo wenxue zhong de qi de wenti” (“The Issue of Qi in Chinese Literature”). Some Western scholars also explore the notion of qi, and the changes it undergoes throughout its history; see, for example, Pollard, “Ch’i (Qi) in Chinese Literary Theory.” 25 Junzi is a philosophical term employed in many classical texts, including the Confucian Analects. This term is used to refer to ideal man—a ren person, a well-cultivated person. It is often translated as a ‘noble man,’ ‘superior man’ or ‘gentleman.’ The opposite is xiaoren (小人), often translated as ‘a lesser man,’ a ‘petty-minded’ man, or ‘small man.’
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Your physical person with its hair and skin is received from your parents. Vigilance in not allowing anything to do injury to your person is where family reverence begins.29
Moreover, the body is:
…an inheritance we receive from our families, and as a current in a ge- nealogical stream that reaches back to our most remote ancestors, brings with it a sense of continuity and belonging, and the religious significance that such feelings bring with them.30
In this sense, “the body is the site of a conveyance of the cultural corpus of knowledge.”31
26 See the explanation of the image (“Xiang”) of Dui gua, hexagram 58 of Yijing (The Book of Changes). 27 See Kong Yingda, Zhouyi zhengyi, 69. 28 Xiaojing zhushu 1. It is one of the 13 classics edited by Ruan Yuan (1764–1849) collectively called Shisan jing zhushu 十三經注疏 (Commentaries and Notes on the Thirteen Clas- sics). The commentary was done by Emperor Xuanzong (685–762) of the Tang Dynasty, and the annotations by Xing Bing (932–1010) of the Song Dynasty. 29 Translation from Ames, Confucian Role Ethics, 107. For an illuminating discussion of friendship as a Confucian family-centered ethic, also see ibid., Chap. 3, in particular 114–21. 30 Ibid., 107. 31 Ibid., 111.
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The importance of the body in the Confucian tradition is reflected in the language. To describe a close or intimate relationship, we say shouzu zhi qing (literally the feelings/affection of hands and feet); qing tong gurou (feeling/affection of bones and flesh); or qing ru xiongdi (brotherly affection). Many Chinese idioms— typically four-character expressions—that express strong, sincere, and loyal friendship contain a word or a radical denoting key parts of the body, in particular, internal or- gans such as yue/rou (月), indicating ‘meat’ or ‘flesh,’ or xin (心), meaning ‘heart’: The idioms shown in Table 1.1, which all have 心, 月, or both in them) are used to describe sincere, intimate, loyal and faithful friendships despite their respective nuances as indicated by the literal rendering of the words in each idiom. Friendship that is worth dying for is illustrated in Table 1.2. Just as hands and feet are vital to a body, friends are as dear to one anoth- er as brothers from the same parents. Yan Zhitui (531–591) left an important book entitled Yanshi jiaxun (Teachings of the Yan Family), in which he provides guidance and advice to his children and other young people. Confucian values and ethics run through the book. The chapter, “Xiongdi” (Brothers), exalts the
Table 1.1 Idioms all having 心,月, or both in them, used to describe sincere, intimate, loyal and faithful friendships.
肺腑之交 feifuzhi jiao friendship of the lungs/ bosom friends 心腹之交 xinfuzhi jiao friends of the heart/ confidants 心心相印 xinxin xiangyin two hearts in accord/ soul mates 志同道合 zhitong daohe with same ideals and aspirations/ like-mindedness 推心置腹 tuixin zhifu pour out one’s heart/ complete sincerity 肝膽相照 gandan xiangzhao lay bare one’s liver and gallbladder/ utter devotion 披肝露膽 pigan ludan lay bare one’s liver and gallbladder/ utter loyalty 披肝瀝膽 pigan lidan lay bare one’s liver and drip one’s gall/ upmost sincerity 忠肝義膽 zhonggan yidan loyal liver and faithful gallbladder/ complete loyalty
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Table 1.2 Idioms showing friendships worth dying for.
刎頸之交 wenjing zhi jiao slitting one’s throat/ friendship worth a sacrifice 兩肋插刀 lianglei chadao with a knife on each side of the rib cages/ to fight for a friend 肝腦塗地 gannao tudi have one’s liver and brain smear the ground/ to sacrifice one’s life 肝膽塗地 gandan tudi have one’s liver and gallbladder smear the ground/ to sacrifice one’s life 肝心塗地 ganxin tudi have one’s liver and heart smear the ground/ to sacrifice one’s life 丹心碧血 danxin bixue devote royal heart and precious blood/ sacri- fice for a worthy course 粉身碎骨 fenshen suigu reduce the body and bones to pieces/ to sacri- fice one’s life
loving relationship between brothers, saying “brothers are people of different forms connected with the same qi. Even though some might be rebellious, they cannot help still loving each other.”32 He continues:
When parents pass away, brothers look after each other like a shadow following a body, an echo following a sound: love the bodies given by par- ents, treasure each other’s blood and qi inherited from parents. Who else but brothers could have such tender affection for one another?33
Yan goes on to cite an exemplary case of three brothers who loved each oth- er more than their own life, and each pleaded to die for their brother. All of them were subsequently killed together.34 The moral obligation is to forego self-interest or even to sacrifice oneself for the sake of others who are dear to you. Brotherly affection is the permanence of sentiments and attachments of the heart: family and kinship integrated in the past, but also turning somebody
32 Yan Zhitui, Yanshi jiaxun 1:16. 33 Ibid., 1:17. 34 Ibid., 1:21.
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Friendship and Traditional Chinese Philosophy
The Master said: “Isn’t it a pleasure to learn with constant application? Aren’t you delighted to have a friend coming from afar’; aren’t you a real junzi (a gentleman), who is well-cultivated and who does not become ir- ritated when others misunderstand you?”35
This theme of friends appears right in the opening statement of the Analects, highlighting the importance of friendship. Not only that: the context also pro- vides a footnote to what a friendship entails, which is that friendship is part of Confucian ethics. To be a consummate (ren) person, one needs to be well- educated, have friends, and know how to interact with others. In the previ- ous section, we approached the meaning of ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’ from a historical and etymological perspective. In this section, we will focus on the analysis of the relationship between friendship and Confucian role ethics. In Confucian ethics, individuals are never defined by the self alone, but by the individual’s various roles in relation to others around them, with whom the self is conceived as being in a fundamental relationship of solidarity—starting from his kin, and extending to non-kin friendship. Confucius says:
If a superior man is reverential without fail, and is respectful in dealing with others and follows the rules of propriety, then all men within the four seas are his brothers.36
35 Lunyu 1:1. 36 Lunyu 12:5.
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A man of humanity loves others. A man of propriety respects others. He who loves others is always loved by others, and he who respects others is always respected by others.37
This emphasis on the relationships between people entails the importance of family, bound by blood, and, by extension, of friends. So in one sense, the notion of friendship in Chinese culture is similar to the classical Greek term philia in its meaning of ‘state of nearness and dearness,’ or simply being ‘dear ones’ by virtue of blood ties, both literally and symbolically.38 In Chinese cul- ture, friendship takes one step further, though it not only refers to the aware- ness of the dear relationship, but also means cultivating this relationship in daily conduct based on Confucian ren ethics. “Never do to others what you would not like them to do to you.”39 “Respect your old family members, and ex- tend that to other older people, look after your own children, and extend that care to others’ children, then all under the heaven can be under the control of your palm.”40 From his stance of universal love, Mozi also sees the importance of familial relationships: “the elder brother must be friendly and the younger brother must be respectful.”41 As we have seen above, to be ren, one needs to achieve propriety in one’s role and relations. But how? Since one is in solidarity with a collectivity with which one identifies one’s self, one needs to abide by what is considered mor- ally right by the people around him. Confucian role ethics emphasizes the proper conduct of a gentleman: taking position without transgression. In the Analects, for example, he identifies three types of friends:
There are three sorts of friends that are helpful, and three sorts that are harmful. Friendship with the upright, with the trust-worthy, and the learned is helpful, while that with the obsequious, the double-faced, and those who use cunning words is harmful.42
37 Mengzi 4B:29. 38 Aristotle, Poetics 1452a31; Jones (On Aristotle and Greek Tragedy, 58) avoided translating philia as ‘love,’ following Gerard Else (Aristotle’s Poetics, 349), who in his commentary ex- plains that, in this passage, philia “is not ‘friendship’ or ‘love’ or any other feeling, but the objective state of being φίλοι” (philoi) by virtue of blood ties. 39 Lunyu 15:23. 40 Mengzi 1A:7.12. 41 Mozi 16:12. See also Johnston, The Mozi. 42 Lunyu 16:4.
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One of the three things Confucius advised his students to check everyday is to see whether they are sincere towards their friends.43 Xunzi (ca. 310–220 bce) also said, “He who correctly criticizes me is my teacher; he who correctly prais- es me is my friend; he who flatters me is my foe.”44 According to Confucius, to do things properly requires first of all getting the right names for things. As he puts it: “When names are not appropriate, then words are not in accord; when words are not in accord, things will not be accomplished.”45 Getting names right preconditions the right order of things, and proper position of and relation between people, without which there will be confusion and chaos. Some of the ideas of the School of Names46 are con- sistent with Confucian role ethics. See for instance what Yin Wenzi, one of the dialecticians of the School, writes:
When there is complete order without deficiencies, the great and small, the many and few, are each appropriately placed according to their dis- tinctions. Farmers, merchants, artisans and officers do not change their occupations. Veteran farmers, established merchants, skilled artisans and experienced officials all retain their roles. What, then, is left for the ruler to do?47
Similar ideas are also found in Daoist (also known as Taoist) philosophy, which along with Confucianism are the two great indigenous Chinese philosophical traditions. In place of the Confucian concern for things worldly and human, Daoist philosophy holds out a vision of other, transcendental worlds of the spirit. It values living in harmony, following the Dao (or Tao), the cosmic force that is the source of life/being, the governor of all life, human and natural. Its ethics include emphasis on nature, spontaneity, moderation as well as wu wei (non-action). Despite differences in world-view, Daoist and Confucian phi- losophies somehow reach—albeit through different routes—the same goal: all things under the heaven fall into their appropriate places. The following state- ments in Zhuangzi (fourth century bce) can serve as an illustration:
43 Lunyu 1:4. 44 Xunzi 2:1. 45 Lunyu 13:3. 46 The “School of names” or “logicians” (míngjiā) was a term applied retrospectively to a group of thinkers active in ancient China between the sixth and third centuries bce. This is a diverse group of dialecticians, including Gongsun Longzi, Yin Wenzi, and Hui Shi. 47 Yin Wenzi, Dadao shang in Zibu Zhou Qin zhuzi, Sibu beiyao 1A.
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When speech is seen through the point of Dao, the name of the sover- eign of the world becomes correct. When functions and ranks are seen through Dao, the distinction between the ruler and his ministers be- comes clear. When ability is seen through Dao, the offices of empires become regulated. When all things in general are seen through Dao, the response of things to each other becomes complete.48
One key to the correct appreciation of one’s place in the world is Guo Xiang’s (252–312 ce) concept of fen, meaning ‘role.’ In his commentary on the text of Zhuangzi49 Guo Xiang employs the idea of qi, ‘vital energy/essence’ to explain the manner in which the Dao imbues the world with life-giving force.50 The proper functioning of the world and the personal happiness of the people in it is maintained by the correct appreciation of one’s place. In the same way that the body has hands, feet, and head that each have their own roles according to their different endowments, so the world functions best when people act according to their proper fen (the role one must maintain within the system). This idea finds a ready echo in Mencius (372–289 bce):
There are people who work with their brain; there are also those who work with their hands. Those who work with their brain manage others, while those who work with their hands are managed by others. Those who are managed by others provide for others, and those who manage others are provided by others. This is the universal principle.51
What is clear is that in Confucian ethics the family is regarded as the basic so- cial unit; just as each member of a family has a role in a family, each member of a society has a role in that society. One does not exist in isolation—things only work when people perform their respective roles properly in relation to others.
48 Zhuangzi 12:1. 49 As is generally true of the commentaries on philosophical texts in Chinese intellectual tradition, Guo Xiangs Commentary on the Zhuangzi is also a significant philosophical work in its own right, although the true authorship of the work is still open to controversy. There are a few different versions, the ones from Sibu congkan and Dao Zang being the two most commonly used. 50 Guo Xiang’s concept of fen is closely related to one’s role/place in the world, which is determined by one’s natural allotment of qi. For more explanation of these concepts, and Guo Xiang’s interpretation of Zhuangzi more generally, see Ziporyn, The Penumbra Un- bound, and Yang, Guo Xiang Zhuangzi zhu yanjiu. 51 Mengzi 3A:4.
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This implies that one not only needs to do one’s best, but that one should be equally able to reflect and place oneself in the position of the other. This, then, is the morality of pre-modern China: collectively accepted values that advo- cate collaborative growth in relations. Family feelings thus play a significant role in moral order. What is interest- ing is that behind the question of morality lurks the image of a conflicted Con- fucian, who is often torn between feelings of affectionate attachment and a social concern with what is considered lawfully right. While Confucius always teaches his disciples to do the right thing, his statements can at times leave others utterly puzzled. This dilemma between moral and jural domains has vexed many literati. In Confucian ethics, justice is not based on impartiality, but on specific relations that locate people in a family. Impartiality is only one way to conceptualize moral conduct. Relational and contextual judgment of appropriateness can play a more important role under certain circumstances. Sometimes affectionate attachment even overrides morality. The following two stories form a striking contrast. Lü’s Spring and Autumn Annals (Lüshi chunqiu) by Lü Buwei, compiled ca. 239 bce, records a signifi- cant story in the chapter “Qusi” (Abandoning selfishness):
Fu Tun was a Mohist leader in the State of Qin. When his son murdered someone, the ruler ordered him to be spared capital punishment because he was Fu Tun’s only son, and Fu Tun was too old to beget another child. Fu answered that the law should be carried out as it would prevent others injuring and killing.52
Here, as the title of this chapter suggests, Fu upholds impartiality and places public morality and law above his personal strong love and attachment. What did Confucius say in a similar situation?
In the Analects the Governor of She in conversation with Confucius said: “In our village there is a ‘True Goody-goody.’ When his father took a sheep on the sly, he reported him to the authorities.” Confucius replied, “Those who are true in my village conduct themselves differently. A father will cover for his son, and a son will cover for his father. And being ‘true’ lies in doing so.”53
52 (Guoxue zhengli she) Lüshi chunqiu 1:5. 53 Lunyu 13:18. The translation is borrowed from Roger Ames (Ames 2011). See note 29.
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Here Confucius has dropped his public persona and put on his private one, allowing affectionate attachment or personal feelings/bonds to take the upper hand, because this is considered the appropriate solution given the particular circumstance—a relationship between father and son. A relationship of ‘ren,’ therefore, is deeply rooted in family solidarity. “It is a fundamental ethical orientation involving human attitudes, emotions and values that reflect the meaning and significance of modes of conduct and relationships.”54 Indeed, kith and kin as the defining feature is already reflect- ed in the Book of Odes (Shijing), the oldest existing collection of Chinese poetry dating back to the eleventh to seventh centuries bce. Three songs are cited in Daxue:
The Odes says: “The peach tree—how fresh and young, how green and luxuriant its leaves. The young girl goes off to get married and brings goodness to her household.” If one can bring goodness to the members of one’s household, one can teach the people of the state. The Odes says: “Let the relations between older and younger broth- ers be as they should be,” and subsequently there can be teaching of the people of the state. The Odes says: “His demeanor is without blemish; he sets the right ex- ample for states on all sides.” Let him be an adequate model as a father, a son, an older and younger brother. Subsequently people will model them- selves on him.55
Good friends are like brothers, sharing the same blood and qi. In addition, however, they share the same interest as they usually received the same teach- ing, as shown by the second definition of ‘friend’: “to be educated by the same master.” Cultivating friendship is part of self-cultivation; it is always associated with learning in company, and shared literary/artistic interests, as explicitly stated in the Liji: “Learning alone without friends, one remains ignorant and ill- informed.”56 Confucius says: “Junzi (gentlemen) make friends through study- ing classical cannons, and facilitate ren by making friends.”57 Friends can deeply influence one another, just as correlating one’s conduct with those who are close is the right approach to becoming ren.58 Confucius
54 See Chong, Early Confucian Ethics, 126–27. 55 See Johnston and Wang, Daxue & Zhongyong, 159–61. 56 Liji 18:8. 57 Lunyu 12:28. 58 Lunyu 6:30.
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Confucius said: “As fish thrive in water, so men thrive in Dao. That which thrives in water gets nourishment from the pond; that which thrives in Dao does nothing and stays tranquil. Therefore it is said ‘As fish forget everything in rivers and lakes, so men forget everything in Dao.’”64
59 Lunyu 1:8. 60 Lunyu 7:22. 61 Zhuangzi is widely considered the most definitive text of Daoist philosophy. Zhuangzi is traditionally credited as the author of at least part of the work. 62 Zhuangzi 6:5. 63 For these concepts, see 26–28 with note 3 above. 64 Zhuangzi 6:5.
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In Chapter 20 of Zhuangzi, again one finds a story on Confucius asking for ad- vice from Zisang Hu. Through the mouth of Zisang Hu, Zhuangzi advocates the friendship of junzi—which is plain, pure and long lasting, like water, and free from the profit-seeking xiaoren.65 This junzi-type of friendship tunes in well with Confucian ethics, embod- ied in the story below. During the Tang dynasty (618–907 ce) someone by the name of Xue from a humble background became a General, and when he was conferred this title by the emperor, many visitors came to see him. They offered him many precious gifts, which he all rejected, but happily accepted two jars of plain water from a poor old man who used to help him during his difficult times. The popular expression “the friendship between junzi is as plain as water,” which is still used today, derives from this story. It is considered a virtue not to forget the old friends one made when one was still poor and humble.66 In Confucian ethics the importance of regulating one’s household is well-explicated in The Great Learning, Daxue (one of the Four Books compiled by Zhu Xi, 1130–1200 ce),67 one of the most influential Confucian canonical texts:
What is meant by the saying, “to bring good order to a state one has to first regulate the household” is this: Nobody can teach others, if he can- not teach his own household. Therefore, the noble man does not leave his household and yet accomplishes his teaching in the state. Filial piety is the way to serve the prince. Fraternal respect is the way to serve elders. Parental compassion is the way to act towards the multitude…There has never been a man who did not embody the principle of reciprocity (shu) in himself and yet could expect others to follow him. Therefore, bringing good order to a state lies in regulating the household.68
Friendship and Literati Tradition
Social groups and clubs formed by literati, usually men sharing the same inter- est and taste, flourished in ancient China. Within these groups, there was an approximate equivalence in economic and social terms. Literati friendship was
65 Zhuangzi 20:5. 66 Houhanshu (History of the Later Han) 26, vol. 4, 904. 67 See note 4 above. 68 See Johnston and Wang, Daxue & Zhongyong, 159.
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69 Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics VIII.4, 1156b7–8; trans. Ross-Urmson in Barnes, The Com- plete Works of Aristotle, II.1827. Aristotle examines three different kinds of friendship— that based on the good (or virtuous friendship), based on pleasure, and based on utility; Nicomachean Ethics VIII.3, 1156a7-1157b5. 70 Quan Tang wen 557:2495. 71 See Strassberg, A Chinese Bestiary, 122–24. 72 Lunyu 2:4.
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73 Luo Guanzhong, trans. Roberts, Three Kingdoms, 9–10.
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In Chinese culture blood-brotherhood and bond-brotherhood (or pseudo-kin relationships) overlap: sworn brothers are treasured as blood brothers. People greatly treasure their friends and are ready to die for them. “A gentleman dies for the one who appreciates him” is the theme that runs through the Biographies of Assassins in the Records of the Grand Historian by Sima Qian (145 or 135–86 bce).74 In the Biography of Guan and Yan, the friend- ship between Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya has perpetuated in Chinese his- tory as an ideal example of zhiji. Guan says: “Those who gave birth to me are my parents, the one who really understands me is Bao.”75 The Annuals of the Spring and Autumn records a story of Yu Boya—a zither player, and his best listener, or zhiyin, Zhong Ziqi.76 As legend goes, when Zhong passed away, Yu was in deep grief and broke his zither, as he believed nobody else would be able to understand his music. Recognizing another’s true value and aspira- tions, or having sympathetic resonances, has become the chief metaphor for friendship. When Yan Hui, one of Confucius’ favourite protégés, died, Confucius was grief-stricken, as recorded in Analects: “When Yan Yuan died, Confucius wept bitterly, his followers said ‘You were so overcome with grief.’ Confucius replied, “I’m overcome with grief? If I don’t feel grief for him, for whom then?”77 In Chinese literature, writing on friendship is abundant. Below are just a few lines taken from works that span thousands of years, yet still share the same discourse—zhi ji, zhi xin, and zhi yin.
In making friends, the important issue is to know each other. In knowing each other, it is important to know the heart. (zhi xin 知心) From Mengzi78 by Mencius (372–289 bce)
No sorrow is greater than parting never to meet again, No happiness is greater than having a new bosom friend (xin zhi 新知) From the Nine Songs79 by Qu Yuan (340–278 bce)
74 Sima Qian, Shiji 86 (Cike liezhuan), vol. 8, 2519. 75 Shiji 62, vol. 7, 2131. 76 Lüshi chunqiu 14:2.3, also in the biography of Yu Rang in Shiji 86. 77 Lunyu 11:10. 78 Mengzi 5B. 79 Zhu Xi, Chuci jizhu 40.
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When you have bosom friends within the seas, (zhi ji 知己) The remotest corner of the earth seems so close. From Farewell to Vice-Prefect Du80 by Wang Bo (ca. 649–ca. 676 ce)
That you’re not assigned an official role is only temporary, Don’t say that there’re few who knows and appreciate you. (知音) From Farewell to Ji Muqian who is returning home after failing the Civil ser- vice examination by Wang Wei (699–759)
Ten thousand liang of gold is easy to obtain, Bosom friends, even a single one is hard to find. (zhi xin 知心) From The Dream of the Red Chamber by Cao Xueqin (ca. 1715–ca. 1763).81
During the Song Dynasty, scholar officials, whose careers were interspersed with periods of service and withdrawal or exile, often found themselves strang- ers in places far away from family and home. They needed friends to share their feelings of homesickness, nostalgia, frustration, disappointment, sorrow or pain. Whether on forced or on self-imposed exiles, they either travelled or gathered together, while also responding to each other’s writing or painting: hence the proliferation of writing and painting. The scholar officials thus played an instrumental role in consolidating the ren friendship while shaping the paradigm of Chinese literary narrative. Their writings open up a window through which we see their ideals and aspirations, as well as lost hopes and shattered dreams we see, however, above all, their dilemmas and their quests for solutions—that were by no means homogeneous. Some, despite repeated setbacks, remained steadfast to the Confucian ideals of social service and obligation, always hoping to return to office. Others, totally disillusioned, found refuge in Daoist and Buddhist ideas, as well as solace in nature. Some remained proud and aloof, viewing the world with nonchalance or even disdain. Still others chose to enjoy the leisurely and comfortable ambiance, indulging themselves in the aesthetic pursuit of poetry and art as part of the literati’s self-cultivation. Nevertheless, they had one thing in common: all needed friends to share their experiences and their feelings. Wang Wei (699–759), one of the greatest nature poets, managed to alter- nate between his service in court and a secluded life within his own estate in Lantian by the Wang Stream, where he wrote many poems on landscape and
80 Tang shi sanbaishou xinzhu 158. 81 Cao Xueqin, Honglou meng 57, 728.
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I have been in a state of constant fear ever since my exile to this pre- fecture. Whenever I had time, I would roam about without aim. I would ramble through the mountains with friends with similar fates. We would walk deep into the forests and trace the meandering streams to their source. No place was too far for us.83
Liu went on to say that when they reached a place, they would drink till drunk, fall asleep, and then start dreaming. Drinking is one of the favourite pastimes for literati scholars; wine gave them inspiration and offered them an outlet for their emotions. More importantly, when drunk, they could free themselves from official duties and other worldly worries, as Wang Wei writes about his friend Pei Di in his “Retirement at Wangchuan” (Wangchuan xianju zeng Pei xiucai Di):
The sun is setting down at the quay, A wisp of smoke from village arises You’re just like crazy Jieyu, drunk, Chanting wildly before the five willow trees.84
Here, Wang Wei uses two allusions: Jieyu of the State of Chu (ca. 1030–223 bce) feigned craziness to avoid service in the government; “Five Willows” was
82 This letter is included in Wang Youcheng ji (Works of Wang Wei). The English translation is borrowed from Strassberg, A Chinese Bestiary, 114. 83 Liu Zongyuan ji, vol. 3, 762. 84 Quan Tang shi 126, vol. 4, 1266.
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Figure 1.1 Attributed to Ma Yuan (active before 1190-after 1225). Composing Poetry on a Spring Outing (detail), Southern Song Dynasty (1127–1279).85 Courtesy The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, usa
85 Handscroll; ink and color on silk, 11 5/8 x 119 inches (29.5 x 302.3 cm). The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, Kansas City, Missouri. Purchase: William Rockhill Nelson Trust, 63–19. I am grateful to The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, Kansas City, Missouri for their permis- sion to use the image in my article.
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Like-minded scholars were thus bonded together. “If two men are one in heart, mountains and oceans cannot keep them apart. If two men do not share com- mon ideals, there will be a great distance between them though they stand side by side. That is why some people travel across mountains and waters to meet and others never make contact even when staying together.”86 In the Book of Changes, one can also find similar ideas: “When two people are in one heart, their strength can sever gold.”87 Still, there is yet another dimension to literati friendship—their relation- ship with women. Throughout the history of ancient Chinese literature, there are tales about happy romances and congenial couples, as well as images of beautiful, talented, and docile women, with whom frustrated scholars rest at an inn after long and hard journeys, which provided them with a shelter from wild wind and waves, and a home to indulge in warmth and love… Indeed some of these women become scholars’ favourite companions and confidants. Zhaoyun, Su Shi’s beloved concubine, constitutes an example of this situation. Despite the harsh conditions of Hainan Island, Zhaoyun accompanied Su Shi all the way to his exile, giving him comfort and support. Su Shi adored her, exalting her as a goddess. Unfortunately, there are far more tragedies than happy stories. The constant travel of scholar officials also resulted in more separations, more estranged relationships, more extramarital affairs and more abandoned women. Each of these cases gives Chinese literati—especially the women in their circles— endless sorrow and pain. Qin Guan, for instance, uses the image of forever- growing grasses to express his long lasting sadness after parting with his lover in his lyric Baliuzi (To the Tune ‘Eight and Six’):
Leaning against the railings of the high pavilion, The parting sorrow is just like fragrant grasses, When the lush and green are destroyed, they’ll keep growing.88
The tragic love story between poet Lu You (1125–1210 ce) and his wife Tang Wan, also a poet, is recorded on the walls of the Shen Family Garden in Shaoxing, Zhe- jiang Province. Lu You and his cousin Tang Wan loved each other so much that they decided to marry. However, Lu’s mother did not like her daughter-in-law and forced them to divorce, after which each of them subsequently remarried.
86 Baopuzi: waipian, juan 36 in Zibu Zajia, Sibu beiyao. 87 Yijing, Xici A:8. 88 Quan Song ci, vol. 1, 456. This lyric (and a couple more below) is taken from the edition by Tang Guizhang.
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Years later when Lu You was visiting the Shen Garden, he had a chance en- counter with Tang Wan, who was also touring the place with her new husband. The sight struck a tender chord in Lu You’s heart, and he wrote a lyric on the wall, expressing his deep regret and profound sadness. In response Tang Wan also wrote a lyric next to it, using the same tune title: Chai tou feng (To the Tune ‘Phoenix hairpin’), echoing the heart-wrenching emotions. Not long after that, Tang Wan died of grief, which left a deep scar in Lu You’s heart. He would often go back to the Garden in the next 40 years, and composed many other lyrics in memory of Tang Wan. While Lu and Tang were deprived of the right to pursue their own happiness, some female poets could not escape the tragic plight of Chinese women— abandoned by the men they loved. In the following lyric (Yulouchun: To the Tune ‘Jade tower spring’), Yan Shu (991–1055) assumes a female persona, as was a convention of Song lyrics:
Green willow, fragrant grasses, and travellers’ pavilion, The young man abandons me, and leaves with a light feeling. … The end of the sky and cape of land have their limits, Only my pining for love is boundless.89
If the voice in the lyric above is general and stereotyped, we can hear a very personal and distinctive voice of a woman thwarted in love in lyrics by Li Qingzhao (1084–1151?), arguably the most important Chinese poetess of all time. Take her Fenghuangtai shang yichui xiao (To the Tune ‘Playing flute recalled on Phoenix Terrace’), for instance. The poet’s helplessness and pain are intensified by the two allusions in the second stanza: “Wuling person,” and “Qin tower”—both referring to man’s relationships with other women:
Be done, be done! He is going, Even a thousand renditions of Yangguan, Could not stop him. I think of the Wuling person far away, And the mist encasing the Qin tower. Only the flowing water in front of my chamber, Remembers my earnest gazing all day long. Where my earnest gazing stops,
89 Quan Song ci, vol. 1, 108–9.
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Now adds, A new chapter of sorrow.90
The enforced separation due to war, natural calamity and political office was a frequent trial borne by Chinese families and friends, and hence the pathos of leave-taking between husband and wife, between courtesans and patrons, has been constantly evoked. However, a close study shows that very few of Li Qingzhao’s lyrics are in fact about parting sorrows alone; most of her lyrics—even those written during her earlier life—are also emotionally much more complex and painful. The plaintive mood that permeates many of the lyrics written before her husband’s (Zhao Mingcheng, a scholar official) death contrasts with her supposedly happy life then, suggesting a relationship that was not as perfect as generally portrayed. The speculation of conjugal infidel- ity on the part of her husband, a National University student, was not entirely groundless, if we take into consideration the historical and social background of their time, as Dorothy Ko observes:
The successful candidates in the Tang dynasty, the Presented Scholars, brought their entourage to celebrations in the pleasure quarters in the capital city. The National University students of the Song dynasty, too, were not unfamiliar with ways of the trade… The consolidation of the ex- amination as the sole channel to a bureaucratic career and hence formal political power in the Southern Song engendered a symbiotic relation- ship between the literati and courtesan culture. The candidate’s politi- cal dominance elevated the social standing of the courtesan, an integral part of the candidate’s rites of passage to elite manhood and his eventual prize to claim.91
Another thing that scholar officials have in common: they all have to go through trials and tribulations in order to pass the civil service examination followed by official posts far away from home, and then periods of banishment and exile. All this made friendship all the more important to them. Insomuch as travel caused pain, women left behind endured no less—perhaps even more—than literati whose journeys left a trail of inflictions on those forlorn and forsaken hearts.
90 Quan Song ci, Vol. 2, 928. “Yangguan” refers to a farewell song popular at that time. A well- known poem by Wang Wei, one of the greatest Tang poets, entitled ‘Weicheng qu’ was set to music. The last two lines of the poem read: “Urge you to drink yet another cup of wine, there will be no old friends West of Yangguan” (Quan Tang shi 128, vol. 4, 1306–7). 91 Ko, “The Written Word and the Bound Foot,” 82.
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Conclusion
Zengzi says:
I examine myself three times daily: Have I done something unfaithful to others? Have I done something insincere to my friends? Have I reviewed what I have been taught?92
The importance of friends and friendship in Confucian ethics is evident from the inclusion of this quotation in the first chapter of the Analects. In this chapter, I have argued that friendship plays a vital role in Confucian ethics. Friendship is part of the narrative and morality particular of Chinese people, which was influenced as well as enriched by the literati tradition. Friendship was always appreciated in terms of the models based on Confucian family relations. By adopting a multi-dimensional approach—etymological, historical, philosophical, as well as literary—this study sheds some new light on the issue of friendship and its cultural applications and paradigms in Chi- na’s long history. Chinese people tend to approach their own circumstances as bearers of a particular social identity—starting from family relations. A ren friend should be first of all a ren person; and a ren person should be ideally a junzi, who is both a moral character with a strong sense of responsibility and a cultivated scholar with a fine taste of literature and art. Indeed, ren friendship and reciprocity entail a whole range of contexts of human existence, from family to civic and then to cosmic settings. In Chinese culture, friendship partakes of the nature of kinship, a relationship founded upon sentiment as well as obligations or duties. There is no abstract or solitary self; only a duty-bearing, social self. According to Confucian ethics, universal friendship will only be achieved if there is a loving relationship between fam- ily members as a starting point. When there is ren relationship in a family, the family will be well regulated; when all families are well regulated, the state will be in good order, and consequently everything under heaven will be in good order as well, just as Mencius puts it: “Love for one’s parents is ren; respecting one’s elders is yi; what is left to be done is simply the extension of these to the whole Empire.”93 And when the empire is in good order, all under the heaven will be in good harmony as well.
92 Lunyu 1:4. 93 Mengzi 7A:15.
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Family and friendship bonds do change under radically new conditions. Even in China, as Fischer observes: “relationships changed significantly when a mar- ket economy rose to replace Maoist command economy.”94 Are there any val- ues of the past that are still relevant today? Where do we find them, and why have they survived through time? How can we translate Eastern values into our Western lifestyles, or vice-versa? Can we adapt our understanding of friend- ship into the new era? Such questions are still worth pondering.
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