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Home , Love at first sight

in Interpersonal Relationships: Interpersonal Relationships: All day. Every day.

My Favorite Romantic Drama: What is Love? – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sY4rhvB9LE Why do you – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJSiUm6jvI0 need it? Types of Love you can experience: – Sternberg theorized that in order to be considered ”love” three ingredients are needed: Robert 1. Intimacy: If you only have intimacy, you have Sternbergs – Intimacy in this aspect is viewed as a close bond. Ingredients for 1. : If you only have passion, you have / lust 2. Commitment: If you only have commitment you have an LOVE: empty love. 1. Love 2. Ludus Love Six Types of 3. Storage Love 4. Pragma Love Love: 5. Mania Love 6. Love The thought process behind these different kind of love is that we Theory behind all have these 6 different kinds of love types in our relationships. Every relationship we have may differ: the Theories: In your first relationship, you are often insecure but passionate. But in your next relationship you may be relaxed and calm. q Highly passionate, sexual, and intense.

Often believe in: – Love as Magical – Love as fate 1) Eros Love: – Love at first sight.

qMovies: Titanic, and Juliet, Princess Bride, Snow White, Sleeping , Cinderella, and The Little Mermaid. q This type of love is VERY American, and often utilized by Hollywood. Often characterized as the “players” love

Will Often: – Avoid trouble or intensity – Feel uncomfortable with commitment – Keep Secrets 2) Ludus Love – Have – Those who are ludus lovers will often leave if the relationship is no longer fun.

– Hollywood portrays this love by combining it with someone who has an Eros type of love. The Eros love type often gets their heartbroken. – Peaceful and slow 3) Storage – Not passionate and intense Love – Friendship is key – Difficult to separate from – This love . . . – Develops over time – Endures long periods of inactivity or excitement – Lacks the heat of eros and the games of ludus – Movie: Harry Met Sally / The Wedding Singer / My Best Friends Wedding / Shrek / You’ve Got Mail / Beauty and the Beast / 2 Weeks Notice – Practical, Looking for “types” – Parents, $, race, nationality, family, etc. – Love is logical & More stable and rational – Movie: Pretty Woman / Bridges of MC / As Good As It 4) Pragma Gets / Shakespeare in Love / Big Fat Greek Wedding / Love: Grease / Maid in Manhattan / Notting Hill

– Hollywood Formula: Woman settles for pragma love--but is unhappy – Extreme highs and lows – Jealousy – Obsessive – Self-worth comes from the relationship – Nothing else matters 5) Mania Love – Movie: Fatal Attraction / Something About Mary / American Beauty / The Crush / Memento / Taxi Driver / Swim Fan – Hollywood Formula: slashing tires, stalking, going into exile, drinking, etc.. – This love is . . . – Compassionate – Selfless – Egoless 6) Agape Love – No concern for personal reward or gain – Want the best for the other person – Movie: / Man Love a Women / John Q / Casablanca / 1) My lover and I have the perfect physical chemistry between us 2) I feel that my lover and I were truly meant for each other (fate) 3) My lover and I really understand each other (soul mates) 4) My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty (my idea of a Test Time: “10”) 5) I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her 6) I believe that what my lover doesn’t know about me won’t hurt him/her (I keep secrets) 7) It is important that our relationship is fun and exciting 8) When my lover gets too dependent on me, I want them to back off 9) To be genuine, love must develop over time (not an over-night thing) Test Time 10) I expect to always be friends with my lover Cont’d: 11) Our love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion 12) Our love is the most satisfying because it developed from, and is based on, a deep caring relationship 13) In choosing my lover, I believed it was best to love someone with a similar background 14) A main consideration in choosing my lover was whether my family would approve 15) An important factor in choosing a partner is whether or not Test Time he/she would be a good parent 16) One consideration in choosing my lover was what career he/she Cont’d: selected 17) When things aren’t right with my lover and me, my stomach gets upset 18) Sometimes I get so excited about being in love with my lover that I can’t sleep 19) When my lover doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel awful all over (emotionally, physically, etc.) 20) I cannot relax if I suspect that my lover is with someone else 21) I try to always help my lover through difficult times Test Time 22) I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer Cont’d: 23) When my lover gets angry with me, I still love him/her fully and unconditionally 24) I would endure all things for the sake of my lover – A. Men: Eros and Luduc – B. Women: Manic, Pragma, and Stroge General – C. Age and Evolution Findings: – Eros and Mania are “young” – In time, couples grow into Stroge and Agape love – III. Romantic Love (believe it or not) – A. Married men have a more romantic concept of love than their wives – Men believe in love at first sight more – More men believe love can overcome anything General – B. Twice as many women would marry for reasons Research: other than love – In 1965, 75% of women said they would marry a man they did not love if he fit the bill in other ways – Today, only about 10% of American women say they would (Whitehead, 2003)