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THE WISEST FOOL IN CHRISTENDOM1 “NARRATIVE HISTORY” AMOUNTS TO FABULATION, THE REAL STUFF BEING MERE CHRONOLOGY 1. A comment by the French monarch of the time. HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES VI KING JAMES I 1566 June 19, Wednesday (Old Style): In Edinburgh Castle in Scotland, Mary, Queen of Scots gave birth to James Charles Stuart. His father, Lord Darnley, would soon be murdered and his mother would briefly obtain the Scottish throne, pending being forced to abdicate in his favor. KING JAMES I NOBODY COULD GUESS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NEXT “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI 1567 William Alexander was born at Menstrie House, near Stirling in Scotland, a son of Alexander of Menstrie (Clackmannanshire). The family was one that claimed descent from Somerled, lord of the Isles, through John, lord of the Isles, who married Margaret, daughter of Robert II. He would receive a classical education in the grammar school of Stirling under Dr. Thomas Buchanan, nephew of George Buchanan, tutor of King James VI of Scotland. In all likelihood, he also attended the University of Glasgow. Drummond of Hawthornden would allege that he also attended university in Leiden. He would be a private tutor to the King of England’s sons, including his relative Archibald, 7th earl of Argyll, his neighbor at Castle Campbell, and accompany him on a grand tour of France, Spain, Italy, and Holland. He would receive the place of gentleman usher to Prince Charles, son of King James VI of Scotland. He would continue in the favor of the court as James became King James I of England and would assist in the preparation of a metrical English version of THE PSALMES OF KING DAVID. NO-ONE’S LIFE IS EVER NOT DRIVEN PRIMARILY BY HAPPENSTANCE July 24, Thursday (Old Style): The infant James Charles Stuart’s father, Lord Darnley, had been killed. Mary, Queen of Scots, after a very brief reign, was forced to abdicate the Scottish throne in the infant’s favor due to her suspected involvement in the murder. His mother would be imprisoned in England by her cousin, Queen Elizabeth, for the following 19 years and he would not have any opportunity to meet her prior to her being beheaded for having engaged in a Roman Catholic conspiracy to assassinate her cousin in order to gain control of the English throne. KING JAMES I July 29, Tuesday (Old Style): Despite the fact that his tongue had grown to be too large for his mouth, James Charles Stuart, at 13 months of age, was crowned as King James VI of Scotland (for the initial 19 years, this would of course be a “regency”). The Reverend John Knox preached the coronation sermon. With his father Lord Darnley murdered and his mother Mary imprisoned in England, the child monarch of Scotland would be raised by four tutors. He would acquire most of his sophistication under the 64-year-old tutor George Buchanan, a Calvinist. KING JAMES I “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI 1579 King James VI of Scotland (who would eventually become King James I of England) perused a volume of Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas’s poetry — and was greatly impressed. LIFE IS LIVED FORWARD BUT UNDERSTOOD BACKWARD? — NO, THAT’S GIVING TOO MUCH TO THE HISTORIAN’S STORIES. LIFE ISN’T TO BE UNDERSTOOD EITHER FORWARD OR BACKWARD. “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES VI KING JAMES I 1584 Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas’s LA SECONDE SEPMAINE. Thomas Hudson translated Du Bartas’s JUDITH, and King James VI of Scotland contributed a laudatory sonnet to the publication. King James (who would eventually become King James I of England) translated Du Bartas’s URANIE appeared in his initial poetical publication ESSAYES OF A PRENTISE. (Du Bartas would respond by translating King James’s LEPANTO.) HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI 1587 Henry of Navarre sent Guillaume de Salluste Du Bartas to Scotland to discuss with royal officials the possibility of a marriage between his sister and King James VI. DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? GOOD. “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES VI KING JAMES I February 8, Wednesday (1586, Old Style): In Fotherinhay Castle, at the formal shortening-by-a-head of Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots (she was 5 feet 11 inches, which even for a man would have been unusually tall), Richard Fletcher, Dean of Peterborough “knelt down on the scaffold steps and started to pray out loud and at length, in a prolonged and rhetorical style as though determined to force his way into the pages of history,” and then after the 2d blow, and her head finally had been quite removed with a sawing motion of the ax blade, cried out “So perish all the Queen’s enemies!” (Clearly, this churchman loved Justice as much as he loved Christ Jesus.) It has been alleged that Mary’s lips continued to move as if in silent prayer for some 15 minutes after the 2d fall of the ax had all but severed her neck (she having a whole lot to apologize for). It has also been alleged that Mary had been wearing a red wig to mask her prematurely gray head and the executioner, not being aware of this, attempted to pick up the head by its hair — whereupon it fell thump on the scaffold. Well, the one thing we can be confident of is that such stories will never be allowed to lose interesting detail in the retelling. HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI (We may note that this murder by beheading, despite some apparent similarities, has never been compared to the murder by beheading of King Charles I of England, or to the murders by beheading of King Louis XVI of France and his queen Marie Antoinette, and that perhaps this has been because in this case it was the high- born who were murdering by beheading this person of birth privilege, whereas in those subsequent cases it would be totally different for it would be the parliament or the people –which is to say the low-born– who would be murdering by beheading those persons of birth privilege. Being low-born would be, how shall we describe it, a horse of a different color?) Soon the “regency” period for King James VI of Scotland would be over and, despite having developed some sort of chronic problem with his legs that was causing him to fall repeatedly, injuring himself, he would begin actual rule. THE FUTURE IS MOST READILY PREDICTED IN RETROSPECT “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES VI KING JAMES I 1589 In this year Queen Elizabeth sent Edward Dyer on a mission to Denmark. James VI of Scotland got married with Anne of Denmark — at first by proxy, and then in person (the royal couple would create nine children most of whom would succumb during early childhood). THE FUTURE CAN BE EASILY PREDICTED IN RETROSPECT “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI 1596 August 19, Thursday (Old Style): An infant was born to King James VI of Scotland and his wife Anne of Denmark at Dunfermline Palace in Fife. This princess would be named Elizabeth Stuart after Queen Elizabeth I of England. One of the objectives of the “Gunpowder Plot” would be to kidnap this child at the age of 9 from Coombe Abbey where she was being reared as a Protestant, and place her on the throne as a nominal monarch in regency (she would then be retrained as a Catholic by those in actual control of the situation and married off to a Catholic bridegroom — or at least that was the fantasy of these airheaded plotters). WHAT I’M WRITING IS TRUE BUT NEVER MIND YOU CAN ALWAYS LIE TO YOURSELF “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES VI KING JAMES I 1597 Written by King James VI of Scotland (who would become King James I of England), “the wisest fool in Christendom,” the strange beast DÆMONOLOGIE was a treatise about witchcraft, necromancy, possession, demons, were-wolves, fairies, and ghosts — penned in the form of Socratic dialogue. The infernal world, although under the dominion of God, contains malicious spirits that can be invoked by people who lust for pelf or for vengeance. In discovering who might be indulging in such contacts with the infernal world, indulging that is in witchcraft, even evidence offered by fellow criminals who are bargaining for their own lives may be attended to, and evidence obtained from children. Those who come under suspicion of such may be subjected to proof procedures such as the water test, and inspection for the presence of a mark of the devil on their bodies. Better safe than sorry. CHANGE IS ETERNITY, STASIS A FIGMENT “Stack of the Artist of Kouroo” Project King James VI of Scotland and I of England HDT WHAT? INDEX KING JAMES I KING JAMES VI 1599 BASILICON DORON, by King James VI.
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