The student ‘news’paper of Imperial College London
Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2006, 2008
Issue 1,425 Friday 20 February 2009 felixonline.co.uk
felix Inside Feature - Rector Interview Part 2
Pages 6-7
Photo by alex mckee by Photo Science - Paranormal special
Pages 14-15
Fashion - Cheap Essentials
Page 30
Nightlife - Who do you Silent Disco
Asthink Elections ‘09 kick off, wethey interview the current are? Sabbaticals and find out just how popular they
actually are. See pages 8 and 9 Page 24 2 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 3 News [email protected] News News Editor – Dan Wan & Kadhim Shubber [email protected] Union support Imperial College NHS Imperial postgraduate Football Club student shortlisted for “axe the beer tax” caught up in ‘Lords for prestigious 2009 IET Award disciplined for campaign Jovan Nedić not punish them for the actions of an Hire’ scandal Editor in Chief irresponsible minority and finally to actions in November support the British pub as a vital part Dina Ismail Americium was at the same time be- Hire’ scandal. He is now being investi- Jovan Nedić Imperial College Union [ICU] Coun- of social life in local communities. News Correspondent ing hired by one of the bidders, Com- gated for using his government links to Editor in Chief cil passed a motion this Monday that One of the arguments used by Tim bineMed, in order to promote the firm help secure Americium’s business with would see ICU support the Campaign Barrett (ICU Welfare Campaigns Of- Imperial college NHS Trust is cur- and help it win the contract. CombineMed. Three of his business Nearly three months after the origi- for Real Ale [CAMRA] and the British ficer) who was the proposer of the pa- rently at the centre of a fraud inquiry It is alleged that to beat out the other associates at Americium have been ar- nal incident, the disciplinary hearing Beer and Pub Association campaign per, argued that the increasing costs involving Americium Developments, 36 bidders, Americium used its insider rested and charged with conspiracy to for the members of the Imperial Col- named ‘Axe the beer tax – save the at public houses, directly related to an Edinburgh-based IT firm and Com- knowledge to assist CombineMed in commit fraud. lege Union Association Football Club pub’. taxation, having a direct cost on the bineMed, a US health firm. writing the tender specification. Staff Imperial college NHS Trust termi- [ICUAFC], as well as the club itself, The campaign has five key objec- long term welfare of students - both Scotland Yard is investigating al- were also coached in how to answer any nated its contract with Americium on was held last week. Counts of bring- tives, which included plans to stop the financially and damaging student wel- legations that Americium unfairly or crucial questions that the firm might hearing that the firm was receiving ing the name of Imperial College Un- increase in beer tax up to a third, to fare through losing affordable places to fraudulently helped CombineMed win get asked. What’s more, an Americium monthly payments to promote Com- ion into disrepute were made against enforce existing laws – not create new socialize, thereby limiting the student a tender to supply information tech- employee was sitting on the selection bineMed. The trust’s counter fraud them after their actions last November. ones – to deal firmly with irresponsi- experience. The news will undoubtedly nology services to Imperial College panel that eventually awarded the con- specialist contacted the Metropolitan Back in November, felix reported the ble drinkers and premises, to end the please a vast majority of the student NHS Trust. The deal was potentially tract to CombineMed. Police fraud squad as soon as allega- actions of the Club, as well as the al- irresponsible promotion of alcohol in population at Imperial, as it will hope- worth tens of millions of pounds. Also implicated in the fraud is Lord tions came to light. The NHS Trust has legations that landlords and residents supermarkets, pubs and elsewhere, to fully mean a slow down in the increas- The Trust had initially hired Ameri- Moonie, who is paid to act as a con- now also cancelled its contract with NASA’s Phoenix imaging of Martian terrain that Sykulska worked on had made against them [Issue 1416 - trust responsible adults to make in- ing cost of beer that has been seen in cium to organise the tender for a new sultant for Americium. Last month CombineMed and severed its links 27.11.08] which included damages in formed choices about what they drink, the Union. internet system. The firm was respon- Lord Moonie was named as one of four with Americium. It has said it is unable excess of £1,400 to property and arte- sible for handling the bidding process. peers who were willing to amend a law to comment on the situation due to the Dan Wan Sykulska was scouted by NASA facts around the local area of the pubs. However, unbeknownst to the Trust, in return for money in the ‘Lords for ongoing criminal investigations. News Editor to become their Instrument Down- The disciplinary hearing, which was link Engineer (IDE) for the Phoenix held last Tuesday [10.02.09], released A postgraduate student from the Fac- mission at NASA mission control in its verdict finding the individuals and ulty of Electronic Engineering has been Arizona. She was one of three Impe- the Club guilty of the charges brought shortlisted for the prestigious 2009 rial-based researchers to make up the against them. IET Young Woman Engineer of the Phoenix team. The mission involved The individuals, who shall not be Year Award. Hanna Sykulska, has just sending a solar-panelled device to named, were fined various amounts finished her PhD, was part of NASA’s investigate previously unchartered ranging from £35 to £80, whilst the The hammer came down on ICUAFC last week, but some Union 2008 Pheonix mission that furthered Northern plains of Mars, where upon club will be forced to pay for any dam- officials felt that harsher punishments should have been handed out the exploration of Mars. the Institu- terrain conditions and compositions age caused during the evening, the fi- tion of Engineering and Technology were analysed. nal amount being known once the final (IET) deemed her outstanding work Sykulska was responsible for both invoice comes in. In addition to the ing, as well as the full list of charges in Whatever the decision might be for with NASA worthy of nomination. the design and feedback stages of the fin, the club will also have to do a to- writing and the Disciplinary Court’s the football club, the one thing that re- IET is a global professional society mission. She helped develop technol- tal of 200 hours of community service procedure. mains is the method by which this was for communities working in engineer- ogy that was designed to hold Martian between a minimum of 20 members, Although the individuals had re- all done. The hearing and its proceed- ing and technology, which claims to soil samples, but also monitored the to be completed before the 24th April ceived all of this information, ICUAFC ings were kept away from the rest of ‘promote the positive role of science’ information the craft was sending back 2009. Club Captain James Skeen who was the student population, with the only within the world. to the laboratory once it has landed. The Union Disciplinary Board have there as the club’s representative, has student input coming from the Royal The award Sykulska is nominated for Though the mission has ended, decided that all individuals against told felix that he hadn’t received any College of Science Union [RCSU] Mo- is awarded to an up-and-coming female Sykulska will found out if her work whom charges were brought (those of the information, apart from the no- tor Club who were the only students to who has set herself up to be a ‘dynamic on Phoenix is enough to win the IET who had caused the majority of the tification, before the hearing date, and give evidence of the apparent tarnish- and technically excellent professional’. award on the 26th February. damage), bar one, were not eligible to instead had very little time to review ing of the College’s reputation. The Editor’s favourite beer could now be cheaper, but sadly not better. If Sykulska is to win, she will become However, she has set her sights on carry out the community service as his rights. Mr Skeen told felix “We feel that the an IET role model for females in the further exploration, saying “I certainly they had paid a fine to the Union. Dep- The Union Disciplinary Procedure, punishment is suitably harsh consider- engineering industry, and one that will want to send more instruments into uty President (Club & Societies) Lily which is not located on the Discipli- ing the proximity to the exams and are Lord Moonie, who is at the centre of the ongoing investigation over the ‘Lords for Hire’ scandal be able to inspire more women to enter space and have the rare opportunity to Topham, who was also the chief pros- nary Matters page on the web site but now focused on humbly carrying out the male-majority industry. look at different planets.” ecutor, commented that she “didn’t un- found in the Union Constitution, out- our punishment.” One of the suggested derstand why the decision was made to lines the rights of the accused, which community services include repaint- A tribute to Sir Henry Tizard, exclude the individuals from the com- include calling for witnesses as well as ing the changing rooms at Harlington Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London munity service.” grounds for appeal. There have also Sports Ground, which will come as a SW7 2BB. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Questions have also been raised been rumours that Imperial College nice present to other teams. because we messed up Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, 17 Brest over how the disciplinary hearing has placed pressure on the Union to act Many have heralded the Union’s de- felix 1,425 Road, Derriford, Plymouth. Registered newspaper was conducted. All the individuals swiftly over the matter, as their actions cision as a move in the right direction Afonso Campos Friday 20/02/09 ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2009. who had charges made against them had apparently dented the reputation after the numerous complaints the club News Correspondent had received notification of the hear- of the College and its students. has received over the past few years. Sir Henry Tizard, rector from 1929 to Felix was brought to you by: 1942 was arguably one of the most in- fluential of all past rectors. His great Editor in Chief: Jovan Nedić Deputy Editor: Kadhim Shubber Associate Editor: Gilead Amit vision saw Imperial College as a much
LOLCATZ larger and prominent institution of News Editor International Editor Nightlife Editor New International Students’ Officer elected higher education in Great Britain and Dan Wan Hassan Joudi Catherine Jones eventually, the world. To do this, the Raphael Houdmont Jovan Nedić tional Students’ Officer is supposed to campus had to expand to accommo- Copy Editors What’s On Editors Editor in Chief be the representative voice of the inter- date the influx of outstanding academ- Louise Etheridge Film Editors Rachel D’oliviero national community at Imperial. ics and stellar students. As a result, he Jonathan Lloyd-Williams Zuzanna Blaszczak Lily Topham Saki Onda will be the first ever Inter- “One of their main tasks will be to fa- put the wheels in place to purchase the Sasha Nicoletti Jonathan Dakin national Students’ Officer for Impe- cilitate an international students forum Royal School of Needlework, a large Dina Ismail Food Editors rial College Union. This new position, where they gather views about issues building on Exhibition Road. Being in
Technology Editor Rosie Grayburn o f t eH W EE K which was only formed a couple of facing our non-UK students. They will touch with students’ needs and under- Politics Editors: Richard Lai Afonso Campos months ago through Council, aims to also work with the DPEW in liasing standing their wants, Tizard purchased James Goldsack increase the representation of the vast with the International Office to ensure the land at Harlington, still used to- Katya-yani Vyas Music Editors Puzzles Supremo international community at Imperial. that we are providing enough support day as Imperial’s main sports ground. Peter Sinclair George Charles Murdoch Nearly 46% of the students graduating and information for international stu- Much of the campus as we know today Science Editors James Houghton last year were deemed non-UK, and dents to ensure that their time at Im- exists because of Sir Henry Tizard’s Mićo Tatalović Alex Ashford Clubs and Socs Editor with such a large proportion, Deputy perial matches up to our international dedication to the college, its students Sir Henry Tizard, 4th Rector of n et cou r te s y o f l iv e.c g cu. p hoto Daniel Burrows Alice Rowlands President (Education & Welfare) Han- reputation.” and its staff. Imperial College Fashion Editor nah Theodorou felt it appropriate to Her position was determined by a A chemist and a mathematician by Arts Editors Dan Wan Sports Editors create the new role. campus wide vote, where only 112 training, Tizard was a prominent fig- Caz Knight Jack Cornish Miss Onda, who has a seat on the students voted, however, Miss Onda ure in the country’s scientific commu- and students alike in an entirely infor- David Paw Coffee Break Editor Mustapher Botchway Union Council now, was unfortunately won by a clear margin getting a total nity and was one of the pioneers of the mal and friendly fashion. In 1963, one Emily Wilson Ravi Pall not present at the meeting this Monday. of 87 votes. Hopefully the turnout for radar preceding WWII. of the main halls of residence in South- Photography felix asked Miss Theodorou what she the Sabbatical positions, which are also During the war, the rector was side was named after him, officially Business Editor Travel Editor Sami Michaels would like the Miss Onda to achieve, College-wide, will yield a much higher Miss Saki Onda, the new known for spending many nights at acknowledging his commitment to the Luke Dhanoa Dylan Lowe Tom Roberts to which she answered “The Interna- number. International Students’ Officer the college, fraternizing with both staff institution. 4 felix Friday 20 February 2009 News [email protected]
The world beyond Gaelic Football cause college walls disturbance in the Union twice in one week Jovan Nedić of the management and the fire safety offended at lot of the clientele in the & Alice Rowlands officer. Mr Murdoch has since told fe- bar, most of the group did not show lix that he “fears the future of the ACC the same sort of animosity towards the Cambodia Two separate incidents have been bar nights might be in jeopardy after English as was displayed by the indi- brought to the attention of Impe- several incidents over the past few bar vidual leading the singing. The indi- This week chief Khmer Rouge torturer Kaing Guek Eav, better known as rial College Union that have involved nights.” vidual then turned around to further “Duch”, went on trial for crimes against humanity in a specially set-up members of the newly formed Imperial The outcome of that particular in- antagonise the sportsmen on the other joint Cambodian-UN tribunal. College Gaelic football society. cident is yet to be determined, mean- side of the bar, before picking up one Since 2006 the tribunal has had a mandate to try senior leaders and those The first of these two incidents oc- while the conduct of some members of the bar stools and moving towards responsible for the most atrocious part of the country’s history for crimes curred at the last Athletics Club Com- of the Gaelic Football society in DaV- the group of sportsmen on the other against humanity, including genocide. mittee [ACC] Bar Night last week inci’s on Sunday evening has brought side of the room. The rest of the Gaelic The Khmer Rouge (Communist Party of Kampuchea) came to power after where one of their members punched the club into further disrepute: After football group encouraged him to put a coup in 1975, and immediately emptied all of the cities and towns in an a member of the Imperial College Un- returning from a successful match, the stool down, at which point the in- attempt to create a utopian agrarian society. In the four years until their fall ion Rugby Football Club [ICURFC]. the club descended upon the Union dividual threw the stool at the floor, from power due to the Vietnamese invasion in 1979, an estimated 1.7 million It is believed that the individual from for some celebratory drinks and were close to another group of students try- Cambodians died due to famine, forced labour and organised violence. Al- ICURFC, under the influence of alco- clearly under the influence of alcohol ing to enjoy a quiet drink. One of the though their notorious leader Pol Pot died in 1998, other senior officials have hol, went over to the area of the Foot- upon entering the bar, starting to get legs of the stool was broken. At this been caught in recent years and await trial. ball Club and picked up one of their rowdy. Eyewitnesses told felix that the point the bar manager asked them to pints. He then proceeded to drink half group quickly became quite loud and leave the bar. the pint before throwing the other half boisterous, climbing on tables and When asked about their behaviour, over his head, which landed on the singing songs. one of the Gaelic Sports members was footballers. One of the members then Though very drunk, most of the heard to say they “never really thought Madagascar told the rugby player to just leave them group were good-natured and not about the songs and the offence they alone, which resulted in both of them obviously threatening. However, one could cause. They’re just songs we grew Madagascar is in the middle of a standoff between current President ‘squaring up’. of the group became quite aggres- up knowing and heard sung in the pub Marc Ravalomanana and Andry Rajoelina, the mayor of the capitol The Gaelic Sports members were sit- sive and appeared to be “looking for a along with many other songs.” This Antananarivo. ting behind the footballers at the time, fight”, he turned to face the rest of the comment has since then been refuted The two are vying for political control of the island nation, which lies off one of their members is alleged to bar, particularly a group of sportsmen by the Gaelic Football Club Captain. the coast of East Africa and is home to 20 million people. Both men have have stood up and punched the rugby three tables away and began shouting Some of the Gaelic football members appeared on their television stations and traded accusations, and their sup- player. On the same night, there was such things as “you English bastards!” tried to make it clear that they hadn’t porters have made themselves heard in rallies in public places like the Ma- a separate incident involving another and “I’m going to slit your throats”, be- meant to cause offense with the songs hamasina stadium and May 13 square. However some of the protests have member from the rugby club who was fore turning back to his group to lead and saw them as a celebration of Irish turned violent ending with civilian deaths. apparently pushed off the stage and a more sinister round of singing that Republicanism rather than anything The position of Madagascar’s Army is unclear at the moment, their state- then kicked by others on the floor. involved chanting about the IRA [Irish more sinister or particularly offensive ment reads “The army is part of those looking for a rapid solution to the As a result, the club captains of the Republican Army]. A number of the to the English. Their actions both on current situation” but also that rugby club, Gaelic football society and people in the bar found this extremely last Wednesday and Sunday are not the Army is “ready to fulfil its the football club have all been called to offensive as the IRA were responsible likely to be overlooked by the Union, duties.” Ripples of the stand- a meeting by ACC Vice-Chair Charles for a number of bombings in England who are currently looking into the off have already been felt in the Murdoch to obtain the full story. The as recently as 1996 when bombs were events. economy with South Korean night also saw a fire alarm that re- exploded in the London Docklands In response to these events, the Club conglomerate Daewoo saying it quired the evacuation of the entire area and in Manchester city centre kill- Captain of the Gaelic Football has will delay its plans to invest in a building which eventually led to the ing 2 people and injuring many more. written a letter which can be found on new huge intensive corn planta- bar night being cut short at the request While joining in with the songs that page 12. tion in south Madagascar.
Kosovo Imperial College becomes first university to While the UN’s International Court of Justice still debates the legality of Kosovo’s unilateral declaration of independence, its people were rejoic- recycle 50% of its waste products ing on February 17th, Kosovo’s “independence day”. Thousands crowded the main streets of the capital Pristina to hear Prime Kadhim Shubber Steve Howe, Director of Building Minister Thaci’s address. Despite the sceptics’ warnings of renewed violence, Deputy Editor Projects at the College, says: “As a uni- displacement of the Serb minority, and predictions that Serbia would fall to versity we recognise that we have a extreme nationalism, none of this has happened, and the country has re- Imperial College London has set a duty to our neighbours and to society mained relatively at peace. powerful precedent by becoming the to spend money wisely, to reduce wast- Keeping the peace is a large NATO led force, along with the EU’s largest po- first university in the UK to commit age wherever we can, and to support licing force, deployed in December. So far only 54 of the UN’s 192 countries to halving the amount of construction Government and EU targets for waste have recognised Kosovo, previously a province of Serbia. Serbia’s President waste sent to landfill by 2012. reduction.” Tadic has vowed never to recognise its lost province, and to “defend its legiti- The College has signed up to the Denis Murphy, Construction Safety mate rights by legal and diplomatic means, not force”. WRAP (Waste & Resources Action Manager in the Building Projects Di- Programme) voluntary agreement vision at the College, adds: “Imperial through which organisations set tar- wants to be a leader in this field and we gets to reduce landfill waste from con- are determined to cut our carbon foot- struction, demolition and excavation print and increase the use of recycled Maldives work. materials. We hope to push ourselves WRAP was established as a not-for- further and set our own targets aiming Maldives’ new president Mohammed Nasheed has decided to sell off profit company in 2000 and is backed to reduce waste sent to landfill by up large portions of his government’s assets in order to “cut back on the by UK government funding. The to 85%.” trappings of power” left over from his predecessor. ‘Construction Commitments: Halv- Eastside Halls construction is to Dr Mike Watson, Head of Construc- 20 years ago Nasheed was imprisoned for political activism, but in October ing Waste to Landfill” project was set be opened for September 2009 tion at WRAP, said: “We are pleased to 2008 he won in Maldives’ first ever free presidential elections, thereby ending up by WRAP in October 2008 and see Imperial College’s commitment to the 30-year reign of Abdul Gayoom, the man who put him in jail. Imperial joins over 40 organisations the agreement, leading the way for oth- On the auction list are Gayoom’s presidential yatch with a reserve price of who have already signed up; including puses. It plans to build similar recy- ers in the education sector to follow.” £5m, several luxury beach villas and a private cricket pitch. Being an island Sainsburys and ASDA. cling and reusing techniques into all The College will also reuse and recy- nation in the Indian Ocean, Gayoom also had the private island of Arah for This commitment is made even more projects in order to meet the goal of at cle more furniture, fittings and fixtures, personal use on weekends. Nasheed estimates that maintaining the presi- relevant by the magnitude of new con- least halving its construction waste. such as chairs, desks and filing cabi- dency used to cost the Maldives £105m a year, now it will cost under £3m. struction works at Imperial, including Imperial is also developing guide- nets, by identifying materials which the new Eastside halls which were re- lines for future construction projects can be reused internally or offered to cently “topped out”. that include working with materials outside organisations. In addition, a Imperial is currently spending £100 that are renewable and long lasting, new general waste recycling scheme Edited by Hassan Joudi & Raphael Houdmont million a year on constructing new and designing buildings efficiently, so introduced in 2008 has recycled over buildings and refurbishing existing that the amount of materials used is re- 900 tonnes of waste such as paper and buildings across the College’s cam- duced and less waste is generated. plastic over the last year. 6 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 7
The government Teaching time and research split Higher Education funding and Top-up fees felix felix Do you not think this business side of things affect the student life We’ve deviated a bit here. The top-up review is coming up, what are your views on top-up fees? because for the last seven years or so, the researching hours have gone up by about 10% but teaching hours have dropped by about and the higher 5%. Do you think that there is too much focus on research and not Rector on teaching like there should be? It’s a very fine balance. Personal views, I would like to see them go up and particularly because it is my task to protect Imperial College through this tough time and coming out of the recession. How do we survive? It depends so much on government funding and I think the imbalance between what it Rector costs to train a home-grown student and what the government gives in support to its universities is education system No I don’t actually. I have no trouble with high quality researchers problematic, so I see no other solution apart for it to rise. I’m not in the debate of it rising to a terrible saying that they don’t have time for teaching. Very very good peo- market force level that would be double digit thousands, but if it did rise, Imperial has to find a way of ple in their discipline are almost invariably very good teachers, and creating these endowment funds that would create scholarships. These would support students from Last week we met the man and found out about his past there is a trivial reason for that; if you’re very good at your subject less advantaged backgrounds and it would mean that we could choose people purely on ability and and can understand it well, then it will be easy for you to pass on not on their ability to pay. as a student at Imperial. Now we look into what he really that information. Good researchers will be good teachers. thinks of the higher education system, the government “The imbalance between what I started life at a Grammar school so I was very privileged in my generation; we got County Council felix it costs to train a home-grown grants if you did well at school and got certain grades to go to university, so I’m a deep believer in the and Imperial’s role in research and development. Jovan So would you say that teaching hours will increase over the next value of education for all independent of whether or not they could pay. few years? student and what the government ‘John Humphrys’ Nedić and Tom ‘Jeremy Paxman’ felix Roberts report back from their epic interview last week. Rector gives in support to its universities Do you not think that it would be a perpetuating cycle that once they do start to go up, the trend I’ll be brutally honest here, so much depends on the economic cli- will continue? mate and the attitude of the government in the coming years and is problematic” how we come out over the next few years. If the volume of money Rector for research, whether that comes from businesses or the govern- I don’t know. If you look at places such as Harvard and Yale, they have staggering scholarships which The government and its public funding ment, is severely stretched, then maybe we will have to spend more support bright kids from all backgrounds and areas of the world, so don’t always equate fee paying and time on taught degrees which will see the teaching hours rise. standards. What they both do is charge the very rich an awful lot of money to go there and they then use that money to support the very bright who come from less advantaged backgrounds. We also might need to focus on international teaching. Every year Setting up an overseas footprint felix we get a huge number of internationals students applying, who do You mentioned in your Commemoration Day speech that the huge number of international stu- have exceptional qualifications and we could take double or triple dents and staff are ‘enormously to our benefit’ and that ‘we will continue to seek them out’. Will the number, but we don’t have the space available here so that is felix there be an actual cap placed on the number of international students at Imperial? why it might lead to a footprint overseas. In your Commemoration Day speech you also mentioned the pos- sibility of Imperial setting up footprints overseas, and in a recent interview with the Financial Times you said that there were a few Rector places where a campus might be set, with locations such as India, I can’t give you an answer to that as it really depends on the economic climate. At the moment the China, Singapore and the United Arab Emirates. Is there any par- cap is 60/40 in favour of UK students, since we have a duty to teach home students as we are domi- ticular reason for choosing these places? nantly funded by the British tax payer and therefore our objective is to train high quality scientists, engineers, businesspeople and physicians who are British. As long as the British students have got The story behind top-up fees and what Imperial the qualifications, we will continue to take them! Rector Well, first of all, where do we get most of our students? Then also College Union thinks about them there is a slightly different reason for the Emirates. They are the felix most liberal Arab communities in the world in terms of structural or- Many people say that because this university is run more like a business, it explains the high In his eight-year reign at Imperial, the one topic that the previous Rector Sir Richard Sykes was vocally ganisation which one can have some empathy with. For example the number of international students because they pay substantially higher fees. in favour of was top-up fees. After only a year into the job in 2002, he, along with a number of Vice- rulers are very oil wealthy and they want to use that wealth to firstly Chancellors from leading universities, all stated that they would be in favour of increasing the price improve the health of their peoples, secondly to improve the system of tuition fees if the government lifted its cap on the then price of £1,100 a year. Whereas most of the Rector of education from primary all the way up to higher education and Russell Group universities – the UK’s answer to the Ivy League – said that they would probably increase Well they do because we can make a profit on them which we use to support the homegrown stu- thirdly that they want to be remembered in world history for being the price to about £3,000 a year, Sir Richard Sykes mentioned that he would much prefer a value of dents because we make a loss on them normally, and that is because of the government. Of the G8 the source of the generation of technologies for after oil and after around £10,500 a year. countries, the British government spends the second smallest fraction of its GDP on higher educa- gas, in other words non carbon technologies. Now those three vi- tion and yet we have four universities in the top ten in the world. What other sector do we have such sions are something that we can empathise with very strongly with Rather unsurprisingly, this value angered a lot of students, as they could not see why higher educa- dominance on the international scene? here so that makes that part of the world very attractive. tion would cost so much with some arguing that “education should be free and accessible to all”. The then Rector’s reasoning behind it all was a simple, business-minded one. He stated that, back in 2002, The amount of money the British government spend on research and development again is almost it costs Imperial College £10,500 to train a student, yet they only receive £6,000 per student from the at the bottom, yet R&D is crucial in developing sophisticated high-tech manufacturers and industries, Higher Education Funding Council as well as the £1,100 tuition fee from the student itself. This left a gap it’s crucial to the solution of both socio-economic and technology problems. We have always over of £3,400 per student, or a total of around £18 million a year back in 2002. performed, but yet we do that on a smaller amount of money than most other economies and if we are to remain in the top two of these in the world, the government needs to support. The argument that followed then is the same one today. Where should the money come from? There are two main options available to the Vice-Chancellors and Rectors of the different universities in the felix UK; they can either increase the tuition fee to cover the costs or the government can increase the amount of money given to the institutions. Where do you think that money should come from? In his interview with felix, Sir Roy Anderson was very clear on his thoughts on the government and Rector where their money is being spent. He, like his predecessor, has pointed out that if the government don’t Let’s just say that there are three or four areas of government expenditure where a lot of money do anything to help the universities, then the money would have to come from the students themselves, could be saved. If I were to ask you what were the top five areas of R&D in the world what would although he does disagree with the number going to £10,500 as suggested by Sir Richard Sykes. you say? The one other method that he does hint at, however, is one similar to that that is employed in the US. Interestingly, Sir Richard Sykes mentioned a similar thing to the BBC back in 2002 where he told them felix “If, for example, the fee were set at £10,500 ... then £16.9m would be generated if 30% of students paid Well we would guess defence. Then followed by possibly medical. What about automotive? full fees and 70% received bursaries.” It was an early indication that there stood the possibility of Impe- rial having a bursary scheme to aid the incredibly gifted student, something that the current Rector also Rector seems to favour. It was, but now they’ve cut back. Well there is a lot of spending in certain areas where it is not im- mediately clear that it is what the world needs at the current point in time. What we need are some “Imperial College Union will If a change to top-up fees were to go ahead, there is one main obstacle that the university would have technological solutions to some really urgent problems and that includes alternative sources of en- “Let’s just say that there are three to overcome, that being a policy that was made by Imperial College Union back in 2006 where it stated ergy, and in the interim before those arrive, we need solutions to carbon absorption. continue to fight any increase in that it would “actively campaign against any attempt to lift the cap on top-up fees”. With the govern- or four areas of government ment review of top-up fees around the corner and the Union policy on top-up fees expiring October I’m deeply cynical about agreements that are made: politicians and diplomats can talk as much as tuition fees” – Jenny Morgan, ICU of this year, it will be interesting to see what the outcome will be, especially with the current economic they like about agreements like the Kyoto one and how X amount of emissions will be decreased expenditure where a lot of money situation. by year Y, but those are meaningless unless we have the technological solutions to those problems. President Who’s going to generate those technological solutions? The new ideas come out of universities! could be saved!” he Imperial College Union Sabbatical Elections are upon us once again! Nominations have now been open for a week and already there are some candidates who have enough seconders to run, which should hopefully lead to an interesting and fiercely contested election period. As part of its build up, felix decided to carry out a lit- tle survey of the student population, asking students around campus if they recognised the lovely faces below and if they knew what they do. To add a bit of spice to it all, we also threw in the two of our regular columnists, Angry Geek and Imperial Girl, just to see if they were more known around campus than the Sabbatical Officers. Not giving Elections 2009 Tanything away, but the results were certainly interesting. In conjunction with the survey, Dan Wan and Kadhim Shubber also interviewed the current Sabbatical Officers, asking them about their achievements, their failures and their role in the Union. The Union’s slogan for this year’s election is ‘Stand and Deliver.” Have the current Sabbaticals delivered and could what they say entice you to stand too? We were also going to Who do you think you are? get the felix editor in, but that would have ruined the page, so we didn’t.
So, what does your role in the Union entail? What does your role in the Union entail? Looking after the best interests of the Union and most importantly our members. The President is ultimately responsible for everything, but day to day I represent students on academic and welfare issues, both to College and nationally, as well as informing and consulting students about academic and then, cattle prodding the Union’s minions; clearing up the day to day crises; being (realisticly) strategic and visionary about the Union’s direction and welfare issues and campaigns. getting the students voice raised at the highest levels of College, whilst maintaining good relations. What have you enjoyed most about your job this year? What have you enjoyed about your role this year? Meeting people in college that you would never have had contact with as a student. Being in charge of a multi-million organisation aged 22 is quite an experience! Bringing changes that benefit the student community is incredibly rewarding and engaging with the most brilliant people! It’s such a pleasure to have worked with people who genuinely care about students of Impe- Meeting people in College has been the most fun thing about your year? rial College like the Rector, Lord Robert Winston, Ram Gidoomal and so many others! Yeah! Realising there are really astute people within College, who care about student issues, that’s something you never realise as a student.
How did you decide you wanted to be President? It’s a mighty task to take on. Why did you decide to stand for the position of Deputy President of Education and Welfare? I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and I’ve never liked being told what to do, especially if its rubbish, like a stupid rule or regulation. If something Erm, I was quite involved in extra-curricular activities, I’ve really enjoyed participating in this side of College, so much so it was interfering with needs changing then let’s do it! In all my roles at ICU I’ve been able to do that, but it wasn’t always so easy, I think a really strong factor in me my degree, so I thought I should take a whole year out, to get it all out of my system! running for President was actually to try and make it easier for everyone to get their voices heard. What do you think has been the biggest benefit to you, personally, from this year? What do you think was the greatest benefit for you personally in taking a sabbatical year out of studying/ finding a real job to take? I’ve learned to express my views, stand up for myself and stand up for what students believe in. So next year, when I’m being bullied by a con- Learning about how a large organisation runs warts and all at a very young age will certainly put me in a good position for the future. It’s also sultant, during ward rounds, I won’t be reduced to a quivering mess. I’ve learned a lot about how to achieve things by talking things through been an opportunity of a lifetime which will always be one of my greatest achievements and I count myself very lucky indeed. and finding mutual benefits; there’s no point in going in all-guns-blazing, all that does is alienate people- both students and College staff.
What do you think is needed to carry out your job? That brings me on to my next question; what do think you you need to be able to carry out your job? Enthusiasm, courage and heart. You’ve got 12500 students to represent and often what you’ve got to say to the bigwigs won’t be pleasant You need to passionate, but you need to have a level head too. You need to be able to make your point without alienate people and a willing- but you need to learn to stand your ground or compromise if you have to get the best possible deal for the students. You can’t be overly ness to put in a lot of hours. sensitive, as president you have to take some tough decisions and you can’t always please everyone. And let me take this opportunity to dispel the myth that you have to be top of your class and have sailed through Imperial to stand for a sabbatical position. Have you achieved all of the goals you set out at the start of your term? Not at all! There’s so much more I would have liked to have done; there’s personal passions such as providing more information on welfare Have you managed to achieve any of the goals you set out at the start of the year? If not, why not? campaigns, greater progress on environmental policy and green at Imperial, which had to take a back-burner. I have reached most and I’m confident that by the end of the year it will be all. But the real challenge is achieving all the goals you set when you actually get into position, you’re perspective changes a lot as you learn more and more and you keep coming up with ideas, so a key skill is being able to prioritise. Why do you think you haven’t achieved your goals? Not enough hours in the day! I spend the vast majority of my day in meeting, which are really productive, but other tasks, like responding to emails, have to be Do you think the student body really care about what the sabbaticals do? done out of hours. That means weekends are taken up by bigger projects, evenings by answering emails, and there’s only so much you can physically do before Jenny Morgan The Union has a long way to go in making students aware of what the Union can do for them that’s for sure. Imperial’s never going to be revolutionary, that’s not you start going to bed and dreaming about Outlook reminders! in the nature of our subjects here, but we’re sensible. So, no not enough do care, we need to improve the numbers drastically, but some people will never give Hannah Theodorou two hoots and that’s fine too, as long as we’re providing the best possible service to all our members, even in terms of the bar and entertainment, Do you think students appreciate what you do? Union President Deputy President My greatest frustration, this year, has been my lack of an ability to communicate to the students about what I’m doing for them on a day-to-day basis. A lot of What would you say to the fact that the majority of students recognise Angry Geek’s face and name more sp than they do yours? the changes they’ve seen, that impact on their education and welfare, have been through student efforts in the past. But unless we’ve been able to communicate Generally people become a sabbatical to bring benefits to the students; less of a priority is getting the credit for it and I think it’s fantastic that we have a news- (Education & this to the students through felix or through face-to-face meetings, it’s almost completely pointless. paper that can bring that level of fame to its writers! Welfare) So, does it frustrate you that more people recognise Imperial Girl and Angry Geek than the sabbatical? Has the role been what you expected? (laughs) I don’t know what more I could have done! I’ve appeared in felix almost as frequently either Angry Geek or Imperial Girl, it worries me that the subject It’s been ten times harder but also ten times more rewarding. matter they’re writing about is more engaging to the readers- but I think that’s just a reality of student politics.
So, what does your role in the union entail ? So, what does your role in the Union entail? I’m in charge of all the finances for the union, as well as the clubs and societies finances. Dealing with all of the clubs and society’s enquiries takes a lot of Well, I’m the Deputy President of Clubs and Societies, and essentially its what it says on the box. I’m here to represent the needs and interests of different your time, the rest of the time is for union things like commercial services. clubs and societies, and most of what I do is as a mediator, either between individuals and different clubs, or within a club. One of the largest tasks as mediator is between clubs and societies and College. What have you enjoyed most about you job this year? I would say getting to know people, it’s quite an interactive job, especially with the clubs and societies. You also get to go to lots of cool events; the What have you enjoyed about your role this year? Summer Ball, for example! So many things, its been amazing to meet all the different people and get the chance to meet all the students who run clubs and societies. As a sabbati- cal, you can actually make a difference. Also, there’s been various events, which I’ve organized and found incredibly rewarding to do so, one of these What can you tell us about the summer ball? being Freshers’ Fair. It was loads of work and loads of stress, but at the end of the day, it was so incredibly rewarding its unbelievable. Ah, I’m afraid it’s top secret the moment! It’s going to be good though… How did you decide you wanted to take up your role as Deputy President of Clubs and Societies? What do you think are the key skills needed to do your job? I’d always be involved in different clubs and societies, as just as a member and running them. I wanted to take it to the next level and see if I could You have got to be approachable, have good interaction skills with people and be able to have a friendly chat because a lot of the clubs and socie- make a difference. ties officers come to see you and often they can be quite intimidated by being up in the union offices, so you want to make them feel welcome. You’ve also got to have a sound head on your shoulders, because you’ve got to deal with an awful a lot of money and have a lot of financial re- So what do you think is needed to carry out your job, and do you think prior experience of lower authority is vital? sponsibility. And I think you’ve really got to care about the Union, if you don’t care about the union you don’t stand a chance of doing anything It is not the case that if you haven’t been a club chair, you can’t be DPCS. It’s not that black and white, but it is important to know how clubs and beneficial. societies work, what and how things will affect the students involved in them, and to have an understanding of clubs and societies in respect to the Union. Have you managed to achieve most of the main goals set out in your manifesto, as yet? Funnily enough, most of the things I had in my manifesto were actually achieved by my predecessor before he left the job last year! There What do you think was the greatest benefit for you personally in taking a sabbatical year out of studying/ finding a real job to take? were are a couple of things to do improving the clubs and societies finance systems, like the new online transaction systems and the new The experiences, I think. They’re not something I would not have ever been able to have anywhere else or any other situation. budgeting system- they had a few things to sort out. which are now finished, and they’re working well. The next stage is to get claims forms etc. fully automated online, which is really kicking off now – that will be something nice for my successor to take on, I think. Was it a nice break away from studies? I would say for anyone wanting to run, do not do it because you want a break from your studies. Do you think the student body really cares about all of your efforts, in the sense that I guess your job isn’t really that visible? It is totally not a break from your studies. Yeah, I think mine’s the least visible of the Sabatical positions, the main people I really deal with are the clubs officers. I think people do care, at least I think It is hard work and very stressful, but it is an absolutely wonderful experience. I don’t think you can go into it thinking you’re going to doss around and be able the clubs care, but I don’t think anyone else really knows or cares at all, half the student population probably don’t even know what a sabbatical is and the rest to do nothing for a year, because you won’t. probably can’t even remember who they voted for! Have you managed to achieve any of the goals you set out at the start of the year? If not, why not? How does that make you feel? Imean, we did a survey and more people knew who Angry Geek and Imperial Girl are… Obviously, everyone has their main manifesto points. My main one was to make things easier, or to at least explain things better to people running clubs, and Erm, it’s not depressing or anything like that! It’s perfectly understandable; I hesitate to say we work in the background, we don’t - we should be out there, but I think we’ve made a good effort, but we’re still to see how effective we’ve been through a Clubs and Societies survey. The Clubs and Societies Handbook was Christian Carter there are an awful lot of students and those that take an interest in the Union know about us and know who we are, if the rest aren’t really interested that’s fine. Lily Topham to especially put all the information about running a club into one book, and I’ve had feedback that its been really useful. So, hopefully that will be developed and kept going. Deputy President Has your role been as you expected it to be when you first began the job? Deputy President Yes and no. The clubs stuff is as I expected it to be and that’s half the job, but there’s a lot of behind the scenes work that you don’t know about, and wouldn’t, What major change would you like to see happen to the Union in the following years? (Finance & unless you had a one-on-one chat with the DPFS. To an extent, I got that from Chris [Larvin]- but this why I put a note in felix saying people should come and (Clubs & Societies) This should be done by the end of the year, but the completion of the Beit Development, as well as the parts of the building such as the Ground floor that have Servxices) chat with me if they’re thinking of standing because they should have a real idea of the role before they stand! not been touched in this redevelopment. We do need to do something to the building to give the students, clubs and societies the facilities they deserve. One final question, and it’s going to be a shameless plug for the Summer Ball! Do you think known as the DPFS who gave the best Summer Ball ever? Lastly, why should people stand for DPCS? Hopefully. I will say, I can’t tell you anything about it, but it’s going to be epic- we’ve got some really good stuff going on! Because you can really make a difference. 10 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 11 [email protected] Comment Comment, Opinion Let us know your views: [email protected] Letters may be edited for length and grammar purposes & Letters Views on these pages are not representative of felix Dan Wan would do Fine Art, if he were ‘cool’ “At school, I bet we were the kind Enter a lab with Gilead Amit at your own risk of kids that itched “The technicians to have a serious have simply not conversation about been trained to science once in a deal with walking while.” statistical anomalies n a soggy Thursday rhetorical questioning of “do they not completed the horrifically long lab You may think in different avenues interested, we wouldn’t be at an all-sci- such as myself” night, I was just nod- having anything better to talk about procedure and yieled the expected re- you wouldn’t do whilst sober. Some of ence university doing a science degree, ding off for my perfectly on the way home?” sparked the same sults, you answer the question “why?” the most influential music and art are and we wouldn’t be willing to hold the t is said of the physicist Wolf- Pauli had left the city; by a doubtless outline of a trace of a clue as to why. of you are familiar with the loveable leled ability and experimental insight timed 9 minute nap on question, but not in the rhetorical so comprehensively you get ahead of products of substance-use. I believe few lines of conversation about science gang Pauli that he was a theore- similar effect the LHC could only be Often, neither do the poor lab techni- idiosyncracies of C++, but I will say are such as to ensure that work gets the bus back home when sense. Did they actually have anything yourself and suddenly, with a wry smirk your best, along with your very worst before you interrupted yourself, with tician of such brilliance that his put into operation on the day I flew out cians whose training did not extend to that it goes a long way to explaining done, data gets measured and errors the sound of Imperial students woke better to talk about on the way home? on your face, interrupt yourself and ex- ideas come to you whilst not fully in that wry smile on your face. proximity to any piece of experi- of Geneva to start the term in London. walking statistical anomalies such as my overfondness for semi-colons and get calculated at every step of the way. meO up. They weren’t being particularly How many times have you heard claim “this conversation is so…..” control of yourself. I’m sure any re- However, I am not trying to insinu- mental apparatus was guaran- I attribute the subsequent helium leak- myself. How are they supposed to ex- complex, winding statements that The problem, of course, is that the loud though. What woke me up in an someone interrupt their own conver- But aren’t we all just pretending we cording artist in the 1960s would agree ate every single one of us talks about teed to lead to faulty and inexplicable age on the 20th of September entirely plain why semiconductors capriciously go on for far too long and objectively Pauli Effect treats people as merciless- alarmed arousal was what they were sation, with a wry smirk on their face, have ‘better’ things to talk about? We (The short chorus of The Beatle’s Yel- our degrees for 25 hours of the day (Al- Iresults. His mere presence in a labo- to my having spent most of the day fac- decide to catch fire at low tempera- speaking add very little to the flow and ly as it does tape measures or particle doing. Two guys and one girl sitting and exclaim “this conversation is so wouldn’t be here at an all-science and low Submarine is sufficient to prove though I do have a friend that prefers ratory would cause complex wiring to ing in a South-Easterly direction. tures? It’s not their fault if overwhelm- coherence of a piece. accelerators. My lab partner, God Rest on the front row of the upper deck Imperial”. Light titters in agreement engineering university if weren’t all my point). However, drink and science to subconsciously quote the second fall apart and coloured smoke to rise Now, I am not claiming to be a theo- ing background radiation clouds my For six hours a week, therefore, His Soul, was once a bushy-cheeked, of a bus; with the window laden with ensue. Then the conversation will, geeks underneath the layers of appar- do not mix. I’ve been told that on a law of thermodynamics over and over from unexpected outlets in machinery. rist of Pauli’s calibre. Not at all. I am radioactivity detector like a solitary when confined to a stuffy, overheated rosy-tailed maestro of an experimen- condensation, most people would take more than likely, divert off the previ- ent cool. If we were that ‘cool’, we’d vodka-fuelled night out, I once men- again rather than snore or anything Once, an unusual set of readings in a perfectly content to be stuck with the thunderstorm overshadowing a car- laboratory full of uncommunicative talist capable of reducing error bars this opportunity to draw a smiley face ous ‘Imperial’-esque subject. probably be doing what others per- tioned to a girl that her dress looked else relatively normal whilst sleeping.) laboratory in Göttingen was explained whirlwind of practical misadventure toon Bavarian castle. And they’re cer- equipment and marginally less expres- at twenty paces and quelling rogue or sadly for most, a massively unrepre- It is just inevitable when you bring cieve as a ‘cool degree’, like Fine Art like it had immature B lymphocytes I have met people at Imperial that have away by Pauli’s brief presence on a train and misfortune without claiming any tainly not responsible for the wicked sive supervisors, I feel like I have been lightmeters with a raised eyebrow. My sentative penis. Not these three crazy thousands of scientifically-tuned peo- at Goldsmiths. I mean at school, I bet on it. She was either not impressed or a passion in art or literature equal to platform in that city, while waiting for of the gift for theory that usually goes sense of humour displayed by the ap- placed in the queue for the waiting list lack of hand-eye coordination and in- kids though. Instead, they were dis- ple together, ones that spend hours a we were the kind of kids that itched to utterly confused, and either way, that that of the passion they have for the a transfer from Zurich to Copenhagen with it. But I think I probably stand a parently perfectly calibrated equip- to get into Purgatory. Stick a pen in my ability to find the on switch, however, cussing mathematical symbols, using day dedicating their mind to science, have some sort of serious conversation short-lived conversation died on its subject of their course. at the same hour. chance of being at least as bad an ex- ment. The inside of a laboratory is to hand and give me a set of associative, has gradually worn him down to a gib- the entire front upper window of the that every day conversation will skirt about science once in a while. feet right there at the bar. It is not Imperial that has brought us This has since passed into physics perimental physicist as Pauli ever was. me a vast and incomprehensible cave distributive and commutative variables bering wreck of a physicist with an un- bus as it were a blackboard, there for around so-called ‘geeky’ topics. It is My point is, if two Philosophy stu- We’ve all seen the hundreds of com- to talking about physics or chemistry in folklore as the Pauli Effect, which dic- Or, indeed, is ever likely to be. of wonders, where I play the role of to play with and I will be treading air. healthy glucose addiction for which I them note their ideas as they bounced not uncommon for a conversation to dents were having a conversation about mon situations to be found at Imperial the pub. It’s something that’s been hid- tates that theoreticians of increasing An old joke stuck to the office door Aladdin – melting solid barriers with Stick a radioactive source in my hand am largely responsible. them off each other. This all within the start with the simple and casual ques- Schopenhauer’s criticisms of Neo-He- on the ‘ You know when you go to Im- den away inside all of us since the mo- ability are responsible for ever larger of a mathematics teacher of mine a single touch. and give me an oscilloscope to play This, the sixth week of every term, thrilling discussion of coprimes and tion of ‘What did you do today?’ And gelianism, I doubt anyone would bat an perial when….’ Facebook group. Yes, ment we realised that physics, chemis- Pauli fields of experimental turbulence. probably best sums up my attitude of My aura of incompetence follows me with, however, and you will see the is a tremendous week for me and all contour integrals. As I looked around when you’ve spent the last 6 hours try- eyelid about how much their pub-talk most of them are true, but aren’t we all try or any other subject, was what we The resulting fields can be measured mystified incompetence towards labo- even into the comparatively safe and petulant child on Christmas morning those who share my affliction because the bus, commuters looked a little be- ing to purify DNA from bacteria, your resembled the work of their degrees. a little bit proud to realise we do most wanted to be doing for the next three, in units of explosions per second, li- ratories. “Theory is when everyone uneventful realm of the computing lab. who is starting to doubt whether Santa there are no laboratory sessions. The wildered whilst fellow Imperial stu- answer, is in all probability, going to Having, or at least thinking you’re of the points listed? at the very least, years of our lives. We tres of blood shed per unit of person- knows everything, but nothing works. Alone and confused at my keyboard, even bothers to check his inbox. same monotonous and relentless grind dents, like me, were distinguishable by involve the words ‘purifying’, ‘DNA’, having, a deep conversation about the Isn’t it something that we even have should all embrace the fact we have nel present, or billions of dollars lost Practice is when everything works, but the programming syntax errors I seem There is only one solution open to picks up again next Thursday, but their heads in their hands, all in disbe- and ‘bacteria’. The more inquisitive of beginnings of life or the boundaries of the knowledge of these subjects to have like-minded people, in terms of inter- per minute spent in the laboratory. For no one knows why. Here we combine to come up with prompt horrified and a student who derives as much enjoy- in the mean time I am savouring the lief as we recieved this unwelcome and us will then ask “why?” Since you’re man-made law whilst baked-off-your- a conversation about it? It comes down est and intellect, as our best friends, obvious reasons, no exact value has yet Theory with Practice: Nothing works confused expressions from the demon- ment from lab as from scalding his fresh air in my lungs, the time to mess impromptu lecture. However, my own so proud to have actually successfully face may prove to have some value. to the fact that, if we weren’t genuinely lab partners and even as enemies. been measured. and no-one knows why.” strators, who stare at me as though I hand on a boiling kettle and who has a around with mathematical symbols to I am intimately acquainted with this That represents me in the labora- had just carved the code into the moni- fruit fly’s grasp of experimental proce- my heart’s content, and the slow recov- particular problem. Expensive ma- tory – absolutely nothing works and I tor with a USB stick. dure. And that is to find a lab partner ery from radiation poisoning. chinery was able to function only once have not the foggiest beginnings of an As an aside, I don’t know how many whose tireless enthusiasm, unparal- O, for the life of a theorist. Kadhim Shubber has 12 litres of dodgy vodka Mark Mearing-Smith was ‘pwned’ by the “Ah the wonders RAG team. He put up a bloody good fight of tax-free though; it was eight on one diplomatic privileges (I won’t trange thoughts go through energy.” Obviously I’m not calling for thing then yours truly has truly no idea your mind when a bunch of the Union to spend it’s cash reserves what is. say anymore, I fellow students raid your of- on a flashy logo, but stating that it is to- But let me get back to to the issue of fice dressed in RAG t-shirts tally normal to try and find something why I was happy that our prized mas- can’t give away all and dust masks. Fantas- that a group of people can feel a sense cots were being stolen right in front of ” tic was not something I would have of loyalty to. me. It was because some one was play- of my secrets) Sthought I would think in such a tight Secondly it is a way of getting more ing back. Over the last couple of years situation. people involved with a Union. I must it has mostly been Guilds stealing the You might or might not have heard firstly point out that it is only one of other mascots, with it all drying up his weekend my house, ity and potential for increased capac- smashing onto the kitchen floor fol- War nuclear bunker. But undeniably the thing that de- that on Tuesday evening the RAG team many ways of building interest with when the other party said “No we are well flat (well place with ity. I peer into the rubbish heap that is lowed by a group of your friends ex- The next step, of course, is providing termines the success of a house party entered the Guilds Office to capture new students. My first position in not playing”. a ceiling that I’m going to my bedroom and I mentally re-arrange claiming “Balls!” must be the greatest alcohol. Bring your own is an admira- is attendance. Your belongings may the Guilds’ violate mascots Spanner Guilds was infact as Spanner Bearer. What I believed was that we were so move out of as soon as my it, I remove pieces of furniture in my fear of any house party host. Luckily I ble idea but make a good house party it be safe and the alcohol may be cheap and Bolt. Go to Live! (live.cgcu.net) for But what everyone must be aware of is afraid of our own being stolen we never contract allows), will be mind and imagine the added stand- am not one of that group of people who does not. If you don’t provide alcohol and plentiful but ultimately if you’re full details of the actual event. that no event is ever totally inclusive. had it out or even on display. I feel very subjected to that terror of terrors that ing room that the desk might offer if own anything that could be described (food isn’t essential, have some dinner alone this just means that when you But as with most situations involv- Even the Masquerade Ball, only had strongly that if you hide the mascots Tis a house party. This intriguing type it simply vanished from being. With as ‘china’ but still there are a great deal before you come) you are essentially pass out after drinking alone you won’t ing mascotry there will be a hoard of about 10% of students attend, and mas- really well (which is not very difficult) of event, which strikes fear into the great anguish I mentally dismantle the of breakable, stealable and flammable inviting people to stand around your knock anything over. It’s in the pursuit people who will shout “What a waste cotry is just another thing that we do. you then completely stop mascotry in hearts of middle-class parents, has the pillow-fort (oh yes, I built a pillow-fort objects in my house. These must be house; remember you’re having a house of a well-attended house party that I of time”, “Get a life”, “You’re not serv- Thirdly, and I believe the most de- it’s tracks. Even an old hack from the power to motivate entirely unreasona- in my bedroom… you may scoff but I taken away from view and secured. party not a political rally. Of course, as probably exhibit the most peculiar be- ing your student” etc, ad nauseum. (I’m fensible is that it raises money for char- RCSU boasted that Theta Mark IX ble and inexplicable behaviour in both know that secretly you want to sit in We have arbitrarily designated my a result alcohol constitutes the greatest haviour. Normally it’s only our close sure by the time you are reading this ity, which if any reader is not a good was so well hidden with it split into 4 the hosts and the drunken revellers; it and fight off an imaginary army of roommate Carlos’ bedroom as the expense that one encounters but with friends that are given the privilege of Live! will be full of it). I don’t subscribe pieces all hidden by different people. although I’m ready to admit, much of barbarous Native Americans) but I am storage room and with merry abandon some experience and effort you can do crossing the threshold into our homes to this mantra even in the slightest. It is like having a silver dining service the unreasonable behaviour is from consoled in the knowledge that there it has slowly become filled with every it on the cheap. Indeed I have become but when it comes to house parties, I Here is why. “ and never using it. You have to let them myself. will be more room for somebody to fall single piece of non-essential furniture the greatest alcohol bargain finding find myself saying things like “Sure, Firstly mascots can be used as an im- I hope that the smell blood. A house party must be planned with over, throw up or pass out (or perhaps in the house. The dining table, our fiend that mankind has ever known. come along and bring some friends, portant focal point of a club. In organi- So all I say now is that I hope Guilds military precision and all possibilities all three in one humongous epic fail). desks and every piece of electronic Doubt it? Those bottles of vodka pic- extended relatives and anybody you sation the equivalent is the logo, who ransom is paid and paid the ransom, and that this light must be considered. We begin with Capacity is of course not the only equipment; if it’s not nailed down and tured above this text number 12, 12 li- happen to meet on the way here” and might give a PR/Media firms vast sums hearted fun may carry on, and be a les- preparing the home for the invasion of concern, there is always the worry of indestructible, it’s going into Carlos’ tres of vodka in all. And the price? £16. this is to people that I’ve met on the of cash to produce, as London 2012 in- this light-hearted son to everyone about realising that 100+ people. Rooms are judged less on having your finest china tea set bro- room! Re-arranging an entire flat is by Ah the wonders of tax-free diplomatic street. You of course are invited, you terestingly puts it, an “Emblem [that] is ” most things in life should be fun and their aesthetic appeal or general com- ken by an uninvited hoodlum. For to no means an easy task but after party- privileges (I won’t say anymore, I can’t just have to find my house... a hint, it’s The RAG team still has Mark locked up in their basement... simple, distinct, bold and buzzing with fun carries on don’t knock the things that are. fort, but on two simple factors, capac- hear the sound of your prize crockery proofing my abode, it resembles a Cold give away all of my secrets). in London. 12 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Comment [email protected]
Kawai Wong is confused. Is it Tesco Value Day or Valentines Day? “Remember when secret admirers slipped notes into your homework? Remember the thrill?”
f you are cynical like me, you boyfriend had completely forgotten entine’s Half Price Basket” or “Value cardboard churned out by an over- economy struggles to find a reason- would have ferociously defend- about it. (How? HOW?) Over dinner Valentine’s Meal”. Would you gravitate worked machine in Manchester isn’t. able price tag to justify their love, the ed your wallet from being raped he apologised for the lack of memory. towards a bit of introspectiveness and Receive this and you feel dazed. What rich struggle to find a meaning to the by restaurants and chocolatiers. “No card is better than an 8p card from question your self-worth? day is it? Tesco Value Day or Valen- price tag. Coleen Rooney was showing I sat on the sofa and did noth- Asda”, I replied while I put another Or simply wish that this day doesn’t tine’s Day? off her £250,000 rock on a night out. ing on St. Cupid’s Day. Because it is a spoon of baked beans into my mouth. exist at all? Of course how much you spend on In the world where a Bentley has the Iday for the Stupids. Do I want a brief- And then he gave me a hand-drawn Why bother with a £25 bottle of Tait- Valentine’s Day is not indicative of the worth of a cucumber. Only a fish that case carrying money-thirst counts my card. Phew. tinger when you can spend a fiver and amount of love you share. It is only a can blow heart-shaped smoke can ig- banknotes while I ponder what have During the credit crunch, shops get a bottle of carbonated Rosè and a bit harsh that during this commercial nite those hearts in her eyes. I gotten out of this “special day”? No, came up with outrageous products to box of heart shaped chocolates from celebration, couples cannot joyfully Remember those February-the-14th thank you. attract those whose wallets are choked Tesco? It’s the thought that counts! stroll down a street without getting when your secret admirer slip a grotty As the hours grew on the 14th, how- and wilted but still feel compelled to Wait a minute. A box of chocolates cornered by a businessman who forces I Fancy You note into your geography ever, my disappointment was not con- treat their other halves. handmade by somebody’s somebody them to price each other. textbook? Remember the thrill when cealable when it became clear that my But if you cannot laugh off the “Val- counts as a thought. A cheap bit of While the normal portion of the you read it?
Andrew Lavery, Gaelic Football Captain, responds to allegations “Some of our members’ actions brought disrepute on the club and such actions will not be repeated”
t’s been quite a week for Gaelic address the other issues that felix has say that the rugby and football clubs are club, I can understand how our behav- rial students this is not the official pol- Football this week. We do hope reported on, prominently attaching the not to blame either for the actions of iour on Sunday night could have been icy of the club or the GAA, nor has it you feel compelled to read the name of our club to. individual members. I am fully aware offensive or even threatening and will ever been or will be. We are committed back page this week about the On Wednesday last week at ACC of the details of the occasion and de- take this opportunity to apologise une- to following with dedication the ethos team’s performance in BUCS Barnight it is reported that a member cline to make further comment at this quivocally to those who were offended. and rules that govern both Imperial Championships and would congratu- punched a member of Rugby for “pick- stage as the matter is currently under I can clarify the actions somewhat, we College Union and the GAA, whereby Ilate us on proudly representing Impe- ing up one of [our] pints”. This does not further discussion. were singing songs, not directly about we are compelled to be non political rial so well in this National competi- even closely resemble the whole story, On a more serious note, the club the IRA, but about events in Republi- and non sectarian. tion. I can say last weekend has been and fails to make any mention (or even is alleged to have been singing “IRA can history which several of our club The actions of some of our mem- the highlight of my year and to lead the any investigation) of the provocation songs” and being rowdy. As you’ll have members have been directly and close- bers brought disrepute on the club and team from its inception last year to our involved. gathered we were returning from our ly affected by. may have caused some doubt as to our recent success has been a privilege and What I can categorically state is that Championship weekend and had been It is understandable how this may ethos, for this we apologise and would honour and remains a source of per- the club were not involved in the inci- celebrating our performance in the cause offence. I would like to point like to assure the Imperial student body sonal pride to me. dent and what is being reported are the best way many sports teams see fit – out that although this may well have that such actions will not be repeated However I also to write this week to actions of one individual. We can also with a lot of alcohol. Speaking for the caused some alienation among Impe- nor tolerated by the club.
Letters Let us know your views: [email protected]
Mr Shubber is quick to defend his have plagiarised HIS work, but rather cavalier attitude of certain members of we are encouraged to ‘direct people to A disgruntled corner; yet seems incapable of appre- that the use of any authors work, with- the editing team at felix. a valid source’ in the case of a com- ciating the definitions of the words out a correct reference, could lead to ment piece, it isn’t appropriate to add gnome ‘quote’ and ‘plagiarism’. In the article he poor quality, unoriginal writing. Thanks, footnotes at the end of every sentence admits he quoted the theory ‘word for As a student paper, my understand- especially in the case of a well known Dear felix, word’, yet the definition of quote en- ing was that the paper should repre- Nicholas Thornton ‘theory’, similarly if I were to say “the trains with it a degree of referencing or sent the students ideas and thoughts, 3rd Year Undergraduate universe is made of tiny little vibrating After reading this week’s edition of felix acknowledgement (a fact to which Mr whilst retaining the ability to publish Department of Aeronautics strings” it wouldn’t be necessary to ex- (13th February 2009), I was appalled by Shubber seems ignorant). Mr Shubber wholly-original, un-censored material plicitly reference the source. the comportment and attitude of your states that ‘While [he] did use the lan- (a right solely reserved for publications Dear Nicholas Thornton, I am equally disturbed, Nicholas Deputy Editor, in response to Henry guage of another author [:] it was not such as this). I find most disturbing Thornton, that you must misrepresent Marsden’s letter entitled ‘An Outraged [his] intention, nor was it the result, that that the Deputy Editor of such a ‘Gnome Theory’ is known widely my article to create an ‘interesting’ let- Gnome’. In the original complaint Hen- that it was represented as [his] original prestigious student newspaper as Fe- enough for any reader of my comment ter. The article in question included ry Marsden pointed out that Kadhim work’. I personally do not believe this a lix must ‘use the language of another piece to know that the idea of explain- only one reference to Gnome Theory Shubber had quite blatantly taken ma- valid argument, as at no point did Mr author’ in order to create an interest- ing physics with gnomes is not my own that was only a sentence long. The ref- terial from an unreferenced source, in Shubber direct people to a valid source ing article. By Mr Shubber doing this I original work. In addition, the point of erence didn’t make “an interesting arti- his article published on 6th February. and because of this the result was in believe he risks harming the reputation quoting the gnome theory of electricity cle” and at the very most it was an ad- Although Mr Shubber does apolo- fact that he DID represent the work as of the paper. ‘word for word’ is a joke in itself; buying vertisement for “Gnome Theory”. gise for not including a bibliography, his own (be it his intention or not). I I think the most we can hope for into the idea that it is a real scientific his very quick to refute Mr Marsden’s believe Mr Marsden’s underlying point advancement of ‘Gnome Theory’ is theory. While I understand that in lab Deputy Editor, claims of plagiarism. was not that Mr Kadhim should not not damaged due to the renegade and reports, scientific essays and papers Kadhim Shubber 14 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 15 Science [email protected] Science Science Editor – Mićo Tatalović and Daniel Burrows [email protected] The Science of the Paranormal Annabel Slater time agreed that psychic powers ex- eas of the brain. In 2007, Microsoft Science Correspondent isted, the military were concerned announced plans to patent a form of OFFERED $1,000,000 Prize in a enough about the Soviets developing EEG technology to provide more ef- Recently, I went to the cinema. A and using psychic forces to start their ficient feedback from people testing stream of supernatural and superhu- own research and development pro- their new user interfaces. Yet EEG can man trailers preceded the main fea- gram, Project Star Gate. only read electrical activity from areas ture, all boasting grimy urban city- Project Star Gate went on for 25 of the brain closest to the scalp, from Paranormal felix special scapes, and polished special effects years and cost $20 million, research- thousands or millions of neurons at By definition science cannot This week felix shines a bright Despite the number of believers that showed photogenic people defy- ing invisibility, levitation, telekine- a time, and even simple physical mo- explain reported paranormal light into the dark world of the nobody has claimed the million ing the laws of physics as they deflected sis, walking through walls (I’d love to tions like scratching your head can events, but this has never paranormal, as we highlight dollar prize offered by the James streams of bullets with nothing but de- witness videos of those trials), remote cause a wave of neuronal firing, as well deterred the committed believer. research into mind-reading Randi Educational Foundation, termined sneers and held frightening viewing, and if men could kill goats as thinking careful constructive criti- In 2006, Bryan Farha and Gary techniques, long distance for anyone who can demonstrate mind-control battles. Franklyn, Push, just by staring at them. (Why goats? cism of the new Windows Vista. Thus, Steward found that 42% of telepathic links and telekinesis. a paranormal or supernatural Watchmen, even the Lesbian Vampire Well, ‘why not’, one supposes.) distinguishing thoughts via EEG is still Americans believe in haunted Prepare to test your disbeliefs power. Killers… all these trailers highlighted impossible. houses, 41% believed in satanic and wonder at the millions spent the 21st century’s continuing taste for But there are other ways of scan- possession and 36% in telepathy. investigating paranormal events. Daniel Burrows cinema to show us humans stepping “ ning a brain. In a study published this beyond the normal, into the realms of Researchers month, researchers in Canada’s larg- mayhem and mysticism and film he- est children’s rehabilitation hospital roes pushing themselves beyond the were able to used infra-red light and fibre optics Researchers were able to correctly guess a drink choice 4/5 times. mundanity of our own normal physical to map patterns of oxygen absorption, capabilities. In the hush that followed decipher a person’s and thus mental activity, in brain tis- Researching the paranormal the trailers, the audience stared at the sue. With an impressive sounding 80% volunteers a highly unpleasant video, by a handle. Users move the handle screen as one, thinking something spontaneous accuracy, the researchers were able to and then made some of them play Te- to move the flotor, and this informa- Mićo Tatalović Telephone and e-mail there really are individual differences in along the lines of ‘Cool!’. decipher a person’s spontaneous pref- tris for 10 minutes. As it turned out, tion is used to control the position Science Editor telepathic abilities among people, with Who wouldn’t like some secret pow- preference for one erence for one of two drinks, without this ‘80s Russian puzzle game… actu- and orientation of a virtual object on telepathy some participants constantly scoring ers of their own? How many times ” the subjects requiring special training ally helped. a computer display. As this virtual ob- Research into paranormal phenomena no better than if they took random have we reached uselessly for some- of two drinks beforehand. Though it is doubtful that ject encounters other virtual surfaces is now a trendy, if not yet well-respect- Recently Sheldrake and his colleague guesses, and others constantly over- thing just out of our grasp, wishing it this method could ever pick out indi- and objects, corresponding signals are ed line of scientific research. Some sci- Smart empirically tested the claims scoring. Additionally, people tended to would somehow fly to our fingertips? vidual thoughts too, it is hoped that it Telekinesis transmitted to the flotor’s electrical entists now believe that the existence that some people make about the exist- guess better when the e-mailers were Looked at someone else and wanted Star Gate came to nothing except a can be used to give choice and control coils, resulting in realistic tactile feed- of telepathy and other similar phenom- ence of telepathy: that they often think people they knew, rather than those to know what they were thinking. lot of paperwork to be revealed and back to individuals with disabilities back to the user. ena has been demonstrated in experi- about someone just before they get a unfamiliar to them. Sheldrake con- Dreamt of being able to know exactly gleefully reported by the media many that prevent them from communicat- Can electrical signals from the brain be Research professor Ralph Hollis ments and the need arises to explain phone call or an e-mail from them, cludes that future studies should focus what the next few months would hold. years later, though hope and belief ing their desires. used to move objects without touching of the Carnegie Mellon University’s and incorporate these phenomena into or that they can guess who is calling on people who think they are telepath- Psychic powers would make my life so persists in the human imagination And finally, the complexity and scope them? Perhaps the closest that exists Robotics Institute said that possible mainstream science. them. The usual scientific explana- ic and should test their ability to detect much easier. that psychic abilities are real, not just a of the brain may not mean it is ever thus far are machines that again, read applications included precise micro- Others refuse to even engage in se- tion for such phenomena is that people thoughts of people they know rather No longer would I try to second- dying defiant gasp of romantic mysti- possible to read thoughts, but could electrical signals from the body, but surgery, computer-augmented design, rious debate about the issue. Who is think of others often, but forget those than strangers. guess every choice I make. People cism, or are the next stage of human we ever see them? In 2008, researchers translate them into motions elsewhere. remote control of robotic vehicles right? instances and remember only the in- Although this study seems at first to who annoyed me would simply punch evolution. For now, though, there is at the University of California devel- For example, since 2007 researchers and military drones, and even data Rupert Sheldrake studied natural stances in which that person called be a good support for the case of exist- themselves in the face. Eating and real, reassuring, reality. For although oped technology that used fMRI data at the University of Illinois have been visualization. sciences at Clare College, University them while they were thinking about ence of telepathy, one big issue which drinking would be intensely simplified, psychic powers can’t be found by sci- to ‘read’ information from a person’s developing a motorised wheelchair of Cambridge and then philosophy at them. For this reason many scientists the author focuses much of his discus- especially in those difficult morning- ence, they can yet be crudely mim- visual cortex. Previous research had that moves when the operator thinks Harvard University. He did his PhD in do not believe in the existence of telep- sion on is the fact that the people in- hangover times – why, I could simply icked by technology. shown that fMRI can pick out brain of particular words, translating electri- Clairvoyance biochemistry at Cambridge, where he athy. However, Sheldrake and Smart volved in the study could have cheated An actual ghost... The Brown Lady at Raynham Hall in Norfolk lie on the sofa and let the food fly into activity associated with viewing differ- cal impulses sent to the larynx when was later a fellow of Clare College and argue that maybe telepathy really does in various ways. Ways participants my mouth. ent images, but it had only been pos- the operator thinks of particular words Director of Studies in biochemistry occur, but “the means by which it oper- could have cheated include receiv- In this vein, I decided to see if there Mind reading sible to identify very distinct images using a sensor-laden neckband and on- This’d be a useful skill to have, but and cell biology. ates is not yet understood. Its existence ing information from the e-mailer in Ockham’s Razor). the topics that are on the fringes of sci- was any scientific glimmer of hope (such as faces), from fixed categories, board computer. perhaps the closest we can work with His research was initially focused on or nonexistence is not a matter of be- advance or re-setting their computer Although no textbook on animal ence, based on their dogmatic beliefs that psychic powers really could exist with prior scanning and knowledge On a different level, Emotiv, an now is learning more about the psy- plant molecular biology but currently lief but of evidence” clocks. Given his conviction that those behaviour will mention telepathy as a and narrow-mindedness. Dismissal of in the human race. By that, I mean I To read a mind is to know what a person of brain activity. Yet this new method chology of our decision making here focuses mainly on the investigations In this test for e-mail telepathy, one people are a priori interested in te- way animals can communicate, Shel- an idea without even looking at the ev- searched online using Pubmed, Google is thinking, and a thinking person gen- was able to produce much more com- and now. Contradicting a pair of 2002 of paranormal phenomena such as te- person nominated four other people, lepathy, this gives them an incentive to drake maintains that they do use this idence supporting that idea is not how and Wikipedia. As it turns out, the sci- erates electric nerve impulses through plex images without prior knowledge Nobel Prize winners, researchers at the lepathy. Some of his current research one of whom was randomly selected to cheat; yet he dismisses it as unlikely. method. In a special supplement to open-minded scientists should behave; entific answer was still ‘No’, although their brain cells. Electroencephalogra- of the brain’s activity. “Fancy watching University of Rochester state that their is funded by Trinity College’s Perrott- e-mail the nominator. The nominator the Journal of Consciousness Studies and yet some do. Professor Josephson’s psychic powers were investigated seri- phy (EEG) has long been used to show The lead researcher hopes that one latest study shows the human brain is Warrick Fund for the research on ‘the then sent an e-mail to the researchers he presents evidence for the existence website has a link to a separate web- ously in the recent past by the US mili- and measure these electrical changes, day, complex images like dreams, someone else’s hard-wired to allow a person to make unexplained human and animal abili- one minute prior to the nominee’s e- The Sixth Sense of yet another parapsychological phe- site dealing with his research into, and tary. During the Cold War $20 million caused by changes in ion concentra- memory and mental imagery could the most rational decisions possible, ties’. Because of the nature of his re- mail to try and guess which one of the nomenon: the sense of being stared at, media treatment of, parapsychology. were invested in a ‘psychic arms race’ tions around the cells. This is a crude be visualised, if the brain processes dreams? ” with the available information, but search he receives a lot of media atten- four nominees was going to e-mail him/ Due to the lack of precautions to pre- or the ‘sixth sense’. Although the first Intriguingly, there are articles that dis- with the Soviet Union. To put it more form of mind reading – to know what dreams in a way that is analogous to only when their unconscious brain tion and has taken part in various TV her a minute later. Basically, people had vent such fraud it is difficult to accept two papers on this issue (one of which cuss exactly these issues and show how simply, although no consensus at the activity is taking place in certain ar- visual stimuli. What about it? Fancy makes the choice. People performed and radio programs, as well as newspa- to guess one out of four possible peo- the telepathy results as trustworthy. was published in Science) dismissed some media, even journals such as watching someone else’s dreams? (Ed: American/Australian company found- poorly on a gambling style test when per interviews. ple who could e-mail them within the But even if one did, what would this its existence, subsequent research has Nature, appear to deliberately mislead Not really, No!) It could be a whole ed by neuroscientists, electronics, and they were given information before- Although an established scientist next minute. Overall the correct guess tell us about telepathy? Perhaps that consistently found evidence for the ex- their readers with respect to evidence new form of cinema. technology specialists, have designed hand and told to ‘think’ consciously with degrees from some of the best rate was 43%, significantly higher than it exists but does not always work. If istence of such a sense, as people and for parapsychology. People like Profes- technology like ‘Epoc’, a ‘neuro-head- about risks and probabilities. universities in the world, many of his the 25% guess rate expected by chance it works some of the time it could still animals have scored above the level of sor Josephson insist on accepting the set’, which uses EEG to translate neu- Meanwhile, in his book Stumbling mainstream colleagues are not con- only. As in other studies, distance be- be the product of natural selection, if chance in guessing when someone is possibility of the paranormal, while Mind control ral activity into commands for video on Happiness, Dr Gilbert of Harvard vinced by, or even interested in, his re- tween the two people e-mailing each indeed it is or was an adaptation dur- staring at them from behind, through maintaining the rigour of the scientific games. Players can move objects, or University has pointed out that the search. Many in the scientific commu- other did not seem to play a role in ing our evolutionary history. Just as binoculars or even CCTV. There is method and abandoning such claims induce 30 different authentic facial human brain is prone to frequent mis- nity consider paranormal phenomena the rate of correct guesses, but emo- any vision is better than none, any some experimental evidence for the if they are clearly shown to be false. Tabloids have recently been wetting expressions and motions to their ava- takes when trying to imagine future to be fraudulent fantasies, so anyone tional relationship between the people telepathy may be better in predicting existence of telepathic abilities in ani- The need for open discussion of par- their pants over studies that show lesser tars in virtual gaming worlds. And, consequences. The pleasures of posi- researching these issues risks ridicule. did. Similar results were obtained for the uncertain future and so help indi- mals and humans, and perhaps this is anormal phenomena led to a multidis- emotional response and recall of trau- they add, which can also be used to tive events are usually overestimated, This is as much a philosophical issue as telephone telepathy (53% guess rate), viduals in survival. Evolutionarily then, as far as biological research can take ciplinary conference at the University matic events if subjects are given beta direct electric wheelchairs too. One while negative events are imagined it is a scientific one. while text message telepathy experi- telepathy may make sense. But how us with regard to understanding these of Cambridge in 2000, at which many blockers, ie. “like Eternal Sunshine of of the most obvious and applications worse than they usually are. Think- Sheldrake believes that healthy skep- ments are also underway. does it work? What is the non-verbal, phenomena. If they indeed exist, their prominent scientists discussed ideas the Spotless Mind, innit” while in the for mind-machine interfaces would be ing about the future is pleasurable and tics are those who are open-minded The author admits that he did not non-visual medium of transmission benefits to organisms could readily be that are regularly featured in peer-re- 1950s, the CIA secretly administered for paralysed individuals or sufferers imagining bad events is functional, and accept evidence obtained by appli- sample the population at random: fifty of thought from one brain to another? explained evolutionarily. But just how viewed journals such as University of LSD to men in fake brothels under the of ‘locked in’ syndrome, who are con- because fear, worry and anxiety evoke cation of the scientific method, regard- people who took part in the email ex- The answer to this question remains they work may be a question of quan- Bournemouth ‘s European Journal of hope of investigating mind control, and scious but often unable to physically action. less of the topic of research. periment applied after reading an ad- unanswered in spite of research into tum physics rather than biology. Parapscyhology. that they would be shamed out of tell- communicate. Finally, researchers at the Univer- On the other hand, he says, dog- vert about the experiment. This means the issue. The obvious candidates such Scientists who are open to research ing anyone else about the funny thing sity of Rochester have boldly declared matic skeptics hold a priori beliefs that that those people probably thought as electromagnetic radiation have been into parapsychology, homeopathy and that happened to them in the brothel that the human brain is hard-wired to paranormal phenomena do not exist of themselves as telepathic or were at excluded and Sheldrake thinks the Genius or Heretic? the like are concerned that mainstream after work. (Apparently, the most com- Remote sensing allow a person to make the best deci- and so dismiss research that attempts least interested in telepathy in the first medium may be morphic fields, part science is becoming an authoritative mon result was that the dosed-up sub- sions possible, with the available infor- to shed light on these occult taboo place. However, Sheldrake did not ask of his theory of morphic resonance. Professor Brian Josephson, Nobel apparatus which refuses to look into ject was convinced they would be able mation. Usually, study of rational deci- issues. them if this really was the case. Instead These fields are thought to extend prize winner from the Theory of Con- issues which have not traditionally to withstand pretty much any form of Finding where something is at a given sion making focuses on the conscious But should not the scientific method he argues that it is to be expected that from our brains in a similar way to that densed Matter Group at the Cavendish been considered legitimate; and which interrogation). time with your mind might not be brain, and how it measures future pos- be employed for furthering our un- different people would have differing in which the electromagnetic field ex- Laboratory, Cambridge, thinks that the makes claims about such phenom- However, researchers at the Uni- possible, but feeling a space without sible gains, risks and feelings. derstanding of all natural phenom- telepathic abilities, just as vision, hear- tends around the Earth. The problem current scientific evidence for the ex- ena without an empirical basis. Open- versity of Oxford reported in January actually touching it is – if it’s a vir- But this Rochester study directly ena? Even those which we now see as ing or olfactory senses do not all work is that there is also no firm evidence istence of paranormal phenomena jus- minded scientists think that although that involving oneself in a ‘visuospatial tual space. Literal remote sensing of contradicts a pair of Nobel Prizewin- supernatural? as well in all people. Sheldrake thinks for the existence of morphic fields and tifies further research in the area. He we do not know how paranormal phe- cognitive task’ after viewing a trau- virtual three-dimensional objects and ners, who received the prize in 2002 Would not many of the technologi- that a randomly chosen sample of peo- the idea of morphic resonance as a way also suggests that better understanding nomena work, there is now ample evi- matic event helped reduce the occur- spaces is becoming possible due to the for illustrating that humans are usual- cal achievements we nowadays take ple for such an experiment would not that animals communicate has been of quantum theory may ultimately ex- dence that they do work and need to be rence of post-traumatic flashbacks. In development of new haptic/computer ly irrational decision-makers. Instead, for granted be considered paranormal yield results supporting the existence discarded as too complicated; simpler plain phenomena such as telepathy. He explained by further research. Should short, it appears that performing such interfaces. These bowling-ball sized their study suggests that people can some 200 years ago (think airplanes, of telepathy because many people do mechanisms have since been found, believes that the problem with many we view these people as heretics or tasks in the ‘6 hour window’ after see- devices use magnetic levitation to lev- and do make optimal decisions—but space travel, mobile phones, comput- not have a good telepathic sense. and provide a better explanation (if mainstream scientists is that they of- geniuses? Only careful empirical inves- ing trauma disrupts the consolidation itate an enclosed lightweight moving only when their unconscious brain ers and internet..)? Nevertheless, his results suggest we apply the philosophical principle of ten overlook the empirical evidence for tigation can resolve this issue. A wonderful image of mind control... sorry – could not resist of memories. To do this, they showed part – a ‘flotor’- which is controlled makes the choice. 16 felix Friday 20 February 2009 [email protected] Science ‘Snip Doctor’ to test drug tolerance Felix Whitton ria, viruses, toxins or medication. verse reactions to prescribed medi- Science Correspondent The researchers are also focusing cations, with their symptoms rang- on how the snip doctor device might ing in severity from dizziness and A new device has been developed be able to detect genetic sequences nausea to even heart palpitations and by Imperial College, London and its which control the speed of our metab- unconsciousness. by Stephen Gallagher spinout company DNA Electronics olism, something else which can af- Although the device is still a pro- that is capable of testing patients to fect the body’s reaction to a medicine. totype (about to begin clinical trials see if they will react badly to certain thanks to a newly formed partnership prescribed medications, such as anti- with the pharmaceutical company depressants and cholesterol control- “Some cancer Pfizer), there is hope that not only will ling drugs. GPs be able to personalise a patient’s The prototype device, known as fighting drugs are treatment but according to Dr Leila SNP Dr (pronounced ‘snip doctor’) Shepherd, Chief Technology Officer of works by analysing the DNA in saliva uneconomical” DNA Electronics, the introduction of or cheek swab samples. The process is the SNP DR might enable new drugs so quick that it can be carried out by a Slow metabolisms can make the drugs to become readily available in a cost
GP before they prescribe the patient’s last longer in the body and therefore effective way: “At the moment, some Picture of the Week Slovakian River Mist, want to exhibit your art. Send in photographs. We [email protected] medicine without the cost of labora- increase the risk of side effects, whilst cancer fighting drugs are deemed une- tory analysis. someone with a fast metabolism is conomical because they only work for The device works by analysing genet- likely to process the medication to a certain subset of patients. If doctors ic variations called Single Nucleotide quickly for it to have any adverse had a method of screening patients to Polymorphisms (SNPs) which are the effects. see whether these drugs work, then parts of human DNA that control our The NHS spends £460 million a suddenly these therapies would be individual responses to disease, bacte- year treating patients suffering ad- more cost effective to use.” Future still green for biofuels Annabel Slater not need tracts of arable land to grow water-dwelling plants that only need Science Correspondent upon, it can double in volume in a sin- sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water. gle day under the correct conditions, Imagine algae biodiesel plants con- Last week felix reported that biofuel and known strains produce a 50% structed alongside traditional power crops may not be worth the effort, and body weight yield of oil, compared to plants to utilise the concentrated rank high on environmental impact. soybean, the current leading biodiesel waste carbon dioxide- such things are Indeed, this may be true. Biofuel crops crop, which has a yield of 20% and a far being planned. must be grown upon arable land, fer- longer maturation time. With tens to Based on its potential as both motor tilised, nurtured, harvested, and proc- hundreds of thousands of current and and jet fuel, the UK government has essed. That’s a lot of costs that lessen undiscovered species, finding higher provided the independent company the energy gain the resulting biofuel yields is not unlikely- and, dare I say The Carbon Trust with initial funding that they provide. But wait! Members it, there’s always genetic modification of up to £4 million for a Algae Biofu- of Kingdom Plantae may yet save our to consider. Currently, researchers els Challenge, which is ultimately in- combustion-energy hungry lifestyles. estimate that one acre of algae could tended to commercialise an algae-oil Look under the swaying palm oil produce up to 10000 gallons of oil per based biodiesel by 2020. Final project plantations, below the rolling green year. costs are anticipated to be £15-23 mil- cornfields. What algae *does* need in order to lion, of which half will be funded by the Look to the greenish sludge chok- become a feasible source of fuel are Carbon Trust. In 2008 the U.S. military ing up the water filled ditch and the cleverly designed farms that optimise signed two deals worth about $35 mil- common stream. There lies a carbon- conditions without raising expensive lion to develop biodiesel made from neutral and theoretically inexhaustible costs. Conveniently, such things are algae. source of liquid fuel. It was the stuff entirely possible with human ingenuity. All this optimism sounds too good An algae biodiesel plant design you had to scrub out of fish tanks, and The 18th century economist, Thomas to be true. I know, I’m a sourpuss too, that you thought might kill you if you Malthus, famously placed unmoving, really. It can’t be that easy- after all, re- went swimming in certain lakes of exponential limits on crop produce searchers knew that algae could be a the blue-green variety. It was around by tying their production to available source of biodiesel in the 1980s. Why changing the Earth’s atmosphere mil- has the world been violently panicking lions of years ago. about petroleum costs, why did any- one bother to revive and design elec- Algae “(Algae) can tric cars, were they just for fun? Dull day at the lab? Before I ramble on further, allow me double in volume Well, frankly, up until now, the cost to simply summarise for the lecture- of petroleum-derived fuel has just weary of you how biofuel is extracted in a single day been too cheap in comparison. Prior from plants. Plants photosynthesise to the credit crunch (don’t ask me for carbon dioxide and water into glucose under the correct updates, I’m scared enough just check- and oxygen. (No sh*t, professor, I prob- ing my bank balance, never mind cur- ably learnt that one before I knew how conditions, and rent global prices), the production cost the birds and the bees fitted together). of algal oil was still at about £2.80 / The glucose is used for energy or re- ... produce a 50% L, while petroleum diesel was lurking assembled by the plant into anything around $0.48 / L in the US. It still just else it needs- proteins, carbohydrates, body weight yield wasn’t cost effective to go green, and lipids… Lipids- essentially, oil. There- petroleum produces so many other, fore a plant contains oil, much as many of oil” useful things. other living organisms produce and Now? I can’t help but see my future store oil. visions of electric cars fading, the If the oil can be extracted, it can land; the 20th century economist Ester saintly masochism of restricting car be converted into usable, burnable Boserup removed this limitation by journeys for nothing short of emergen- forms. Although ethanol from crop theorising that human ingenuity and cies. No Mad Max style riots at petrol plants is used to make biodiesel, plant technology would respond to demand, stations over dwindling fuel, no wars oils can be made into biodiesel. By and she has been largely proven right for foreign resources, no nuclear or compressing, by using enzymes, by till now. hydrogen power taking centre stage, firing minute particles into cells, by Currently, several algae biodiesel the development of cold fusion pushed many means, oil can be extracted plants are open and running in the US, further into a theoretical future. But from plants to be processed and used, while engineers work on improving who knows? There’s plenty of scope for while the waste is used for fertiliser or designs of sealed growth vats, stirrers, the future to surprise us. animal feed. gas venters. As it stands, however, it seems that Enter algae. Enter a plant of single Imagine a slew of algae biodiesel algae is the only biofuel crop with the or few cells that lives in water, repro- plants being built in rocky land in- potential to replace our need for petro- duces rapidly, and produces oil. It does hospitable to crops, but perfect for leum diesel. I’m so happy to see other people love algae too! 18 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 19 [email protected] Arts Culture & Arts Editors – Caz Knight, David Paw and Emily Wilson Budding culture vulture? Write for us. sea of lightbulbs to represent reality that didn’t thrill me on the soundtrack ward failure; I just wanted to take him The Arts [email protected] and harsh neon lighting that extends suddenly made perfect sense within the home in my pocket! into the auditorium during the musi- story. Highlights include “Touch Me” – I’ve loved Spring Awakening for a cal numbers. a hauntingly beautiful and poetic song while now and so was really apprehen- The general premise of the show is about masturbation (why do all the sive about what the Lyric would do to that these period characters sing con- best songs have to be about something it. What they have done is made it a temporary songs suited to the MySpace dodgy?) and “Totally Fucked!” a rous- sublime, funny, poignant and rocking generation. Sheik and Slater have clev- ing rock anthem about how shit life is. new musical that is going to take some erly interwoven everything – songs and It felt so good to hear the songs live as beating. Many people will come for the Step away from story, old and new. The characters use the CD just doesn’t live up to the real shock factor of swearing, sex and the handheld microphones to convey their experience. odd bit of nudity, but I hope they can the art feelings and the entire stage takes on an The teenage cast of Spring Awaken- see beyond that to find a really clever electric charge as they jump and leap ing could out-act most on the West combination of classic storytelling, around. The choreography is not your End. Aneurin Barnard as Melchior and modern music and choreography with usual high kicking fare as Bill T Jones Charlotte Wakefield as Wendla portray some amazing new talent to portray it. Emily Wilson has created a jerky style that fits bril- the loss of innocence without straying For the first time in a long while I’ve Arts Editor liantly into the angsty feel of the show. into cliché. They are never contrived found I show I want to see again and The music has a definite rock edge to or annoying, as many young charac- again and I think I’ll find something it with some clever lyrics borrowing ters seem to be on stage, although we new and fresh about it every time. had a stressful journey into col- “doesn’t have much stuff in it”. both from the original text and mod- decided Barnard’s sex face left a little lege today. I was running a little I am not trying to say that children ern teenage language (although I think to be desired. Iwan Rheon was incred- late (read: hungover) so I decid- should be banned from museums and the phrase “My Junk” may have disap- ible as Moritz. He gave off a Brit-Rock Spring Awakening is on at the ed to get the bus instead of my art galleries. I got where I am today peared a few years ago). I can’t think of vibe while also maintaining a feeling of Hammersmith Lyric until March usual brisk walk. This managed (hungover, studying fungus, in debt, a single song I didn’t like, even songs despair as his character plummeted to- 14th Aneurin Barnard, playing Melchior, could out-act most of the West End to lengthen my journey time. Firstly, soon to be unemployed…) because I Ithere’s a set of roadworks at the traf- spent my weekends being taken round fic lights near South Ken station that National Trust properties and V&A ex- are pure evil, meaning my bus sat out- hibitions. I have a very distinct memo- side the Royal Marsden hospital for a ry of getting out of the car on Exhibi- good 15 minutes. At this point I was tion Road to go the Science Museum, “fortunate” enough to watch a Har- looking up and saying “what’s Imperial rods van deliver Jade Goody’s wedding College?” and my Mummy saying “it’s dress, with the paparazzi swarming. a university where very clever people A trip to the theatre you’ll Enjoy Anyway, eventually my bus reached learn about science”. And here I am. sees Alan Bennett’s Enjoy – two and a half hours of far-fetched witty commentary on 80s South Ken and I realised I was in the My point is: don’t go to museums Caz Knight midst of the sheer horror that is HALF and art galleries at half term. It’s hell. working class culture, complete with trouser-based comedy and roaring northern accents TERM. Argh, it was vicious out there. Yes, for the first time ever, I am telling The streets were awash with screaming the students of Imperial NOT to go see ankle biters and over-sized, cup-holder nice artsy cultural things. Save it for an he audiences of 1980, fond and New Labour jargon. scorned for their unfair advantage. wielding pushchairs. The queues for odd weekend or a day off lectures in of and accustomed to In his preceding plays, Bennett en- Bennett cannot be accused of celebrat- the Natural History Museum and the about a month’s time. their view of what an Alan joyed success with works such as Be- ing his blue-collar heritage, and in En- Science Museum were not only merg- Which brings me to telling you about Bennett play should be, yond The Fringe, The Madness of joy even pokes fun at this working class ing, but doubled back on each other some of the very exciting stuff soon to were disappointed when George III and Kafka’s Dick. Having sentimentality through Mam’s desire so the ends were impossible to iden- be arriving in London. Already on at Enjoy came to the West End – despite drawn on autobiographical experience to cling onto their back-to-back and tify. The pavements of Exhibition Road the Royal Academy is an exhibition Tthe celebrity cast and its endorsement of the bulldozing of the back-to-back neighbourhood that comes with it, but were so full of mummies, daddies and on the architect Andrea Palladio. By by well-known actors. Expecting a houses (now no longer a feature of at the same time always aspiring to the kiddies that I had to walk in the road the time you read this, “Van Dyck and straightforward northern comedy, they working-class housing estates in Brit- ideal of being classy and moving up with cars honking at me just to get to Britain” will have opened at Tate Brit- were offered something absurd and ex- ain’s cities) in several television dra- in the world. Representing the city’s college. Because obviously if I am not ain. Opening on 25th February is the pressionistic. The playwright’s humor- mas, Bennett decided it was time to set urge for modernisation is Dad, who a kidlet, a mother or heavily pregnant, National Gallery exhibition “Picasso: ous writing, this time interwoven with a play in such an environment. does nothing but complain about their then I am not entitled to pavement. Challenging the Past”. The V&A are some poignant commentary on work- In today’s Britain, reverse snobbery dowdy living conditions and fantasise It’s a shame that Britain’s parents displaying an anthology of hats from ing class pride, heritage culture, life in occurs frequently, with those who have about their shiny, new maisonette. don’t have enough imagination to go next week, and will have an exhibition Leeds’ back-to-backs and socio-politi- done well for themselves emphasising A letter arrives from the council ask- somewhere other than the Science Mu- on Baroque in April. Phew. If you’d be cal phenomena, that turned out to be their working class routes while those ing that a sociologist observe them at seum or Natural History Museum. Or interested in reviewing any of those, quite prophetic: the ASBO-generation from affluent and ‘cushy’ backgrounds home in their normal day-to-day life, rather, as I overheard on the same bus or you’ve got something in mind that as part of a survey on neighbourliness this morning, just the Natural History I’ve neglected to mention, email us and and happiness in the community. Museum because the Science Museum we’ll get you in for free. The first half, witty as it is, gets off to a slow start and by the end one won- ders whether this dysfunctionally com- ical snapshot of northern family life is going anywhere. The second half explodes into a hectic and energy-brimming series of events, each one more far-fetched than the next with the jokes getting Teenage sexual discovery in dirtier and earning progressively more roars of laughter from the audience. Not only this, but its emotional po- tency and Bennett’s messages are put across much more clearly and suc- nineteenth century Germany cessfully, earning it a lot more weight Self-confessed theatre geek lives her dream and and respect as a play and for its enter- Lucy Harrold tainment value. There were moments sees Spring Awakening at the Hammersmith Lyric when the elderly Mrs Clegg tried in vain to remove the supposedly-dead Dad’s trousers off him, all the while eing a bit of a theatre geek, time. Awakening, at first appears simple and seeming as though fellating him, that I had high expectations The play follows eleven early teens nondescript but on further inspec- had one cringe a bit given the age of of Spring Awakening. I’ve as they learn about life and growing tion is chaotically quirky and detailed. both actors and audience, but laughs had the cast recording for up in 19th century Germany. This was Favourite set pieces include a giant it got. The sadness at the thought of a year now and followed its most definitely a time where children butterfly and a blackboard listing the homes that instilled happiness, a sense Mam is played by Alison Steadman, of Pride and Prejudice fame progress on Broadway with a yearn- were seen and not heard, and babies musical numbers with suitable graf- of community and pride (much of this Bing for it to come to England. Instead were delivered by the Stork, as shown fiti. Everything is on stage including lost in today’s Britain) being ripped of opening straight onto a depleted by the innocent Wendla Bergman. But a live acoustic-rock band and a small apart was conveyed and served to give previous role as Mrs Bennett in BBC’s sporting Dr Marten boots, no less. West End, Spring Awakening has had for some it was also a time of Bohemi- portion of the audience. At present balance to the previously silly slapstick 1995 production of Pride and Preju- Alan Bennett has succeeded, albeit a somewhat subdued premiere at the anism and discovering who one was – these on-stage seats cost £15 on the comedy, as well bring home clearly the dice (the better one), Alison Stead- 28 years after its creation, in compel- Hammersmith Lyric. Based on Frank represented by our hero Melchior Ga- day and give a completely different loss that was experienced during the man is perfect for playing the none- ling us to ‘enjoy’ this play: we should Wedekind’s forbidden play, Spring bor. We follow the characters as they view of the show although you may 70s plight to modernise. too-clever, optimistic Mam while the remember that a play is play, it should Awakening combines what was, at the go hurtling towards adulthood with miss some parts. As compensation True to style, Bennett devised the gruff, grumbling Dad, played by David be fun and it should be playful, he says. time, a radical story, with contempo- dire consequences, in a world where you get to sit among the actors and characters first before concentrating Troughton, adds a glorious contrast to This is theatre at its least contrived, rary rock by Duncan Sheik. Appar- the adults keep their children blink- experience the action up close. I loved on the themes. And the cast utterly his wife. least academic and most jovial. Al- ently Sheik is something of a rock star ered from reality until it is too late. how the whole lot was integrated on does justice to Bennett’s creations. All The age-old parent/offspring rivalry though two hours and a half gave me in America, but I must admit I hadn’t The stage of the Lyric is the perfect stage, with actors jumping amongst of them loud and larger than life are issue is fueled by another great per- my fill of booming, northern accents heard of him until Spring Awakening. size for Spring Awakening, creat- the audience and even playing a song played superbly with unfaltering Leeds formance from Josie Walker as the for the night! He has teamed up with poet/writer ing the appearance that the set could or two on the upright piano. And the accents (one American lady behind me daughter with loose morals, Linda, Steven Sater to create something that burst free from the stage at any time. lights! I’ve never been so obsessed complained of being unable to under- with reference to the 80s social en- Enjoy is on at the Gielgud Theatre Iwan Rheon as Moritz. Lucy wants to take him home in her pocket hasn’t been seen in theatre for a long The set, like many aspects of Spring with lights. We switch between a vast Dad, played by David Troughton, in a handsome set of braces stand a lot of what was said!). After her vironment in Gregory the skinhead until 14th May
Parkour strut their stuff 24 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 25 Music Nightlife Music Editors – Peter Sinclair James Houghton & Alex Ashford [email protected] Nightlife Editor – Catherine Jones (CJ) [email protected]
Do the Silent crowd-surfing at Trafalgar locomotive A spot of cribbage? James Mossahebi When you first arrive to participate in you’re transported to a massive sum- ers leapt from the lions’ columns. The ever, with a “mob” of people brandish- The boys are back on tour. Tytus Murphy heads to Heaven a silent disco mob the mood is bizarre. mer festival atmosphere, via Nelson’s two events definitely worth mention- ing boards with the manifestos “free If you had happened to walk past Tra- I knew why I was there. The girls in column. ing were when a ten year old (and yes I hugs” and “good times” it’s hard to see Peter Sinclair to witness the new Cribs lineup and some new Cribs tunes. falgar square on Friday evening you neon tracksuits knew why I was there Mosh pits were formed, conga lines did verbally query the whereabouts of any malice. Music Editor would have seen an odd sight; a thou- (unless I’ve missed a disgusting new circled the main pit, and crowd surf- his mother) was carried in a superman Flash mobs are appearing all round fect setting for a raucous, intense and miles, I find it strange, no one makes sand plus people dancing, conga lining fashion trend) and the police knew why pose right to the back of the crowd, the world. Pillow fights, silent discos, exuberant gig. Opening with new track me smile”, capturing moments of isola- and crowd-surfing to... well... silence. I, the girls in the neon tracksuits and and a horizontally challenged fellow, mass tooth brushings, zombie walks or most Londoners the Lon- a packed-out carriage than is physical ‘We were Aborted’ the anthemic na- tion in a dramatic contrast to the anger The silent disco flash mobs are back. the fat man in a vest prematurely dis- who quite frankly didn’t leap with such and water fights are taking on cities us- don Underground forms expansion. The Tube is a place to yield ture of most Cribs tracks is immediate- of ‘Mirror Kisses’ – “You’re not allowed After a T-mobile ad campaign showed coing on his lonesome, were there. All Mass pillow fights, grace. After he got the crowd going ing text, email and social networking both the backbone and back- to the subconscious whims. Here, sur- ly evident. I have to say that being quite to say, that you’re better!” us what professional dancers can do of us, including a few hundred more, to cheer him on with some passion- sites. This is essentially performance drop of life in the capital. On vival is the only objective. the Cribs fanatic, Marr’s addition had Very few bands can pull out a cou- when grouped “randomly” en-masse, loitered waiting for 7:00pm. silent discos and ate bare belly rubbing, the key carriers art, but so clearly reflects two exciting the daily commute, we spoon Morning commutes are the most me worried with the worry of his pres- plet back-to-back as powerful as ‘Mir- Social networks plan to show what When the clock struck 7:00, nothing. failed miserably, and the sound of his factors of this generation. The abil- each other with an imposed intimacy crucial. The music you listen to for the ence perhaps upsetting the dynamic ror Kisses’ and ‘Mens Needs’ with both they can do with the trend that is right- Everyone still stood wandering round zombie walks are self hitting the concrete could be heard ity to communicate en masse with the whichF would be unthinkable in differ- first hour of your day will have a dras- of this buoyant band. How pedantic songs being strong candidates for the fully theirs. the square waiting for something. from the back. Not to worry – he didn’t broad social circles we have, and more ent circumstances. We make fleeting tic effect on your mood. It is best to my concerns now appear as the addi- most anthemic reflections of adoles- It is safe to say that “flash mobbing” Some sort of signal to start. taking on cities die, just collapsed with unsympathetic importantly, can rally these social cir- eye contact, step on feet and mut- select energetic pieces without going tion of his ambient, jangly guitar parts cence since the turn of the millennium. is one of many characteristics that will It wasn’t for another 5 minutes when police standing over him afterwards. cles into doing something absolutely ter hasty apologies as we manhandle into all-out electro-breaks (when I hear provide a delightful foundation for the At this stage of the gig, I am pogo-ing define the tech savvy, socialites of Gen- a man on top of a lion rallied everyone using text, email Regardless, the discoing continued, cli- mindless in the name of a good laugh. our way to the exit. The Tube is often the relentless snare kicks from a pair of distinctive Jarman guitar-hook and vo- with the jubilant jerks of someone who eration Y. A group of people gather- to come between the barriers. The maxing with a charge on to the nation Personally I’m sold. Like all street art where we are at our most fragile. We tinny white iPod headphones playing cal. From the start, it is so captivating ing in one place at short notice, doing crowd took little convincing and soon and online social gallery and a group of police vans on in this city, it can make the daily grind are there moments after waking-up, Scooter’s latest hit single, I cringe not to see Ryan, Gary and Jonny interact something out of the ordinary. And if people were leaping over barriers, the ready to disperse the revelers. far more interesting. And if the fat kid before the nauseating taste of undis- only for my own sake, but for the sake with a brotherly affection that ranges you had walked down the Strand on iPods and mp3s in ear, ready to throw networking. This The satisfaction of passers by, who who failed to crowd-surf dies of inter- solved toothpaste has been swallowed. of the listener’s mental state). Hip-hop from crazy love to cool aloofness. The “Lee Reynaldo Friday you would have seen the out of some serious (yet stealth) shapes. had no idea what was going on, was ap- nal bleeding, he is a victim of stupidity We are there after a late evening spent is often a good choice, with the slow opening track is followed by a trio of the ordinary charge straight at you, fol- You might think that this would be is essentially parent. With this alone, it is easy to see and not of the flash mob. As long as the in the library, before a job interview, tempo and confident elocution of the songs that send the enthusiastic crowd of Sonic Youth lowing a man with the boom box and quite an awkward thing to participate why these flash mobs are so fun. good nature of it remains, I hope to see on the way to meet friends who we monologists setting up a mood of bold into frenzy: ‘I’m a Realist’, ‘Hey Sce- police vans ambling behind them. in, reserved for outgoing performance performance art Obviously there are security issues you at the next beautiful waste of time. haven’t seen for too long, who might self-assurance and optimism. “Today” nesters’ and the snarling ‘Our Bovine remarking on But ultimately, what is the point? artists. But once you’re plugged in, and concerns about public order. How- this fine city has to offer. have changed but we hope haven’t. you may think, nodding your head to Public’. Collective cries of ‘You’d never Luckily, many activities are available another sublime Dilla joint “I’ma fuck exist without being generic’ are uttered time, space and to distract the commuter’s attention all them bitches”. And for that first in unison by Ryan and the 300 or so away from this emotionally intense hour of your day, you just might. crammed into this venue as everyone love” situation. The dismembered London The music of the evening commute vents a little anger at pretentious ‘sce- Lites and London Papers that pepper is more about indulgence. For many nesters’ and their flaccid shenanigans. is defying his twenty years of existence. the aisles are staple for the morning weary travellers, the evening’s beats act This evening is all about road-testing This band encapsulates youth in such a traveller. For the more literary and as a substitute for a hot bath or a cup of the new material and we are shown five powerful way and in the live setting the dextrous, one handed book-reading is cocoa. It is a time for sumptuousness new songs. The most impressive being energy and feeling is immense. ‘Be Safe’ also an option. For most though, time and warmth, a time for comfort music. ‘Cheat on Me’ and ‘Victims of Mass is giving an epic airing with an intrigu- is most efficiently killed by the iPod. Folk is good here; pop or electronica Production’. It is difficult to judge the ing spoken-word section provided by Selection of exactly what to listen to often are not. Nothing too produced songs at this stage, the instrumental Lee Reynaldo of Sonic Youth remark- on the tube is crucial for the preserva- – the evening commute’s soundtrack parts are as expected and are all suc- ing on time, space and love, juxtapos- tion of emotional wellbeing. Choosing needs to be human. It needs cinct, with the Marr contribution giv- ing amazingly with the cry of “I know an inappropriate tune for the situa- to hold you to its bosom and ing the rawer material a melodic edge a place, where you fall in love so hard, tion can both ruin the music and leave tell you that perhaps tomorrow that in tandem with Ryan, Gary and that you wish you were dead”. you alienated by the absurdity of it. won’t be quite so awful. Ross (the unsung hero of this band The Cribs continue to deliver at their Most often one is tempted to select The selection of music on the Un- whose relentless drumming keeps this live shows and the addition of Marr is intellectually-challenging music – jazz derground is an endeavour strewn beast ticking over in true pop-punk going to further improve an already or classical, for example – in order to with potholes and potential hazards, spirit) creates a frantic sound. excellent band. The set is concluded mentally stimulate away the tedium of but hopefully with these tips the daily Tytus Murphy The crowd are then invited to rep- with ‘Wrong Way to Be’ and a stage the commute. However you must not commute will be slightly less grue- licate the delightful hook of ‘Another invasion by an agile young chap who be swayed by ideas of intellectual ex- some. Now all you have to remember Following the success of their most Number’ and they duly oblige as Gary after being crashed into the ground by pansion, which is no more possible on to do is mind the doors. recent album, Men’s Needs, Women’s demonstrates the often overlooked a security guard is consoled by a car- Needs, Whatever, the three Jarman tender and thoughtful side to this band, ing hand from Ryan Jarman and invit- brothers who make up The Cribs are “I disappear for hours, over the small- ed to join the band for the end of the surfing the wave of momentum that est things” and in ‘Womens Needs’: “In set. I, for one, comes with critical acclaim and teen- the radius of a thousand think those age adoration. Not content on bruises will resting on their laurels, the definitely Esser can’t quite work it out Jarmans have recruited be worth it. quite possibly the most melodic guitarist of all time in the form of the eternally youthful Jonny Marr (formerly of The Smiths and Modest Mouse). This evening the Wakefield trio com- bined with Mancunian Marr are rounding off a flying tour scend into indie discos, but the single of more intimate venues with Esser itself has a very easy going laid back the aim of road-testing some Work It Out (single) feel making it quite a relaxed listen. new material to a loyal, diehard Merok Stylistic elements alluding to art- legion of fans as they work on HHHII phoenix ists like The Streets, Jack Penate, or their eagerly anticipated fourth Jamie T can easily be found. Esser has album. a habit of invoking quirky lyrics like “I Support from Oregon Christopher Walmsley have a habit of getting my foot stuck in 3-piece The Thermals pro- my mouth / You are the only person I vide a retrospective of The This is the latest single from ex-Lady- know who can get it out” which make Cribs in 2003 as they once fuzz drummer Ben Esser, released just the song feel a lighthearted affair. This arrived with their ferociously as he heads off supporting the Kaiser does however leave the song feeling a energetic shows onto the live Chiefs on a UK arena tour. signed to little shallow, but although there’s little circuit. But the crowd in this Transgressive last year, a label which that’s particularly ingenious or ground venue (Heaven being more has a reputation for being on the cut- breaking here, it still remains a very accustomed to drag queens, ting edge of new musical talent, so ex- likeable song on the whole. frolics and the like) are here to pectations are high already. There is a lot of potential for Es- welcome a seminal band back ‘Work it out’ has Esser showcasing ser, especially given the current love into the medium in which they his trademark electro-pop with all the for electro/indie/pop at the moment. are most comfortable and key ingredients - electronic blips and ‘Work it out’ may not propel him into make most sense. Few venues bleeps, synthesised backing vocals and the glaring eye of the mainstream, can match the compactness, several accompanying remixes. It’s but there is plenty of promise for the intimacy and sweat of Heav- these that could see the song easily de- future. en and this provides the per- OUT NOW 26 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 27 Film [email protected] Film Film Editors – Zuzanna Blaszczak and Jonathan Dakin [email protected] Not a masterpiece, but close Coming Out Soon Reprise is a piece of art that should not be missed by anyone; it’s See London as you’ve never seen it before in this noir fairytale – Franklyn Vampires and werewolves never die a film debut that has put Scandinavian movies back in the game Apparently, neither do the Underworld sequels. To be fair, why kill a perfectly profitable series when the Zuzanna Blaszczak make-up and visual effects. Film Editor Ryan Phillippe, Eva Green, Sam Ri- Reprise HHHHH new films still manage to be entertaining, sexy and action-packed, as Jonathan Dakin reveals this week. ley and Bernard Hill play four souls Director: Joachim Trier Shot on location in London, Gerald inhabiting two parallel worlds (con- Writer: Joachim Trier & Eskil McMarrow’s first full-length feature temporary London and Meanwhile to make such a profound point before. is different and original enough to be City) whose lives are interweaved by Underworld : Rise of the Lycans Vogt HHHKK Perhaps I was reading too much into Cast: Anders Denielsen-Lie, mentioned. fate, tragedy and, of course, love. As it, but even so the film works on many espen Klouman-Hoiner, It’s hard to summarise the plot with- these worlds come closer together Director: Patrick Tatopoulos different levels which makes it even Victoria Winge out giving away the not-so-surprising our heroes (or rather anti-heroes) go Writer: Danny McBride et al. more enjoyable. conclusion but that’s actually not a through the process of self-discovery Cast: Michael Sheen, With good performances from all problem because the movie’s strength that comes to a gripping climax when billy Nighy, the central roles, including screen si- Stefan Carpanu is not its imaginative storyline which, Meanwhile City and our beloved Lon- Rhona Mitra ren Rhona Mitra who burns up every even for a fairy tale, is slightly too unre- don collide. scene with her incredible sexiness, Few films, debut films at that, have alistic. What makes Franklyn stand out Sounds a bit childish, but believe served alongside a healthy dollop of managed to portray the grandness and is the pristine detail of the wonderfully me, this is one fairytale you would not Jonathan Dakin gore and monster slaying, Underworld: the pitfalls of youth as accurately as offbeat, decidedly sombre and murky want your child to see. Unless you like Film Editor Rise of the Lycans does exactly what it Joachim Trier’s Reprise. The Norwe- world created by the camera, scenery, freaking out little kids, that is. says on the tin. Although the plot will gian production, first released in 2006, Ah, to be young and carefree again! Those where the days... Bleak, dark and sexy. What more do seem strange to someone who has no has garnered a significant amount of you expect from a film about vam- idea about the films that preceded it recognition at awards and festivals pires and werewolves? For those of and there are a few slow-scenes too around the world, particularly Europe. and leaves him searching for lost time. hard to argue against such statements, you who may not know, Underworld: many, overall the film is an interest- Most praise was aimed at the young Erik, on the other hand, is driven by his as everyone finds his or her own bal- Rise of the Lycans is a prequel to ing, paint-by-numbers action film. Danish director who certainly is one ambitions, hardly holding his own on ance, especially in terms of what is ex- 2003’s sleeper hit Underworld and Saying that, there is a very unexpected to look out for. However, it would be loose moral ground. The film explores cessive and what is uneventful. How- its follow-up Underworld Evolution, ending but this twist will only come as a severe shortcoming to ignore the their anxieties, their attitude towards ever as far as the narrative goes, even if so it covers no new ground – just a a shock to those who have not yet seen quality of his film as a whole, an au- friendship and the world around them, it may seem a bit raw at times, as long sub-plot from the first film that was the first Underworld film. thentic and complex rendering of the their grand clichés seemingly dis- as the viewer is immersed in the film, I briefly mentioned as the motive for a The directing is okay but some of the emotions and experiences two friends, guised as originality, their uniqueness sincerely doubt there will be any issues character’s crusade of vengeance. quick cuts can be confusing and irri- Phillip (Anders Danielsen Lie) and Erik obscured by their commonality. It’s pertaining to the comprehension or If you haven’t seen the first two films I think this photo summarises the film very well – swords stand for the violence, black for everything else. tating, although the Matrix-like slow (Espen Klouman-Høiner), go through such an overwhelmingly truthful ex- the logical coherence of the story. then this film will seem original and motion looks cool but lacks original- in their search for fulfilment. perience, that it made me wonder why In conclusion, I won’t go so far as intriguing, although you may find ity. The director is trying his best, but The two are both young, aspiring I sacrificed the perennially ambiguous to claim that Reprise is a masterpiece yourself lost in a sea of pre-established as their slaves. Now this is where the do throughout the course of the entire hot vampire daughter Sonja (Mitra), can’t compete with the director of the writers, filled with idealism and a crav- meritocracy of the artistic plane for the but it is certainly has my vote as one of characters and codes for this already tricky definitions appear: werewolves film, but if it is too much for you then which is seen as an abomination as the previous films, Len Wiseman, who ing to establish themselves as crea- calm and prescriptive life of a business the not-quite-so-many good films re- well-developed alternative reality. are vicious, monstrous beasts trans- maybe horror just isn’t your thing. two races should never get too inti- was much better at building suspense tive individuals in their world, which graduate. leased of late which really spoke to me But whether or not you have seen the formed from humans into overgrown For the rest of you: werewolves are mate with one another. A very strong and atmosphere. leads them to different paths along the Still, I’ve come across a few com- in a substantial way. There are several other films, Underworld: Rise of the canines. Lycans are werewolves that too dangerous to vampires and so are Romeo and Juliet love theme quickly So if you want to begin your journey treacherous cliffs of young adulthood. plaints in reviews of this film and they things to enjoy about it and even a few Lycans is a stylish action/horror that can control their transformations and forced into the forests, whereas Lycans develops and when impending doom into the world of vampires and were- Phillip, on the one hand, finds himself mostly relate to the excessive editing, to contemplate when it’s finished, in you can sink into and lose yourself in can change back to human form, keep- are kept within the citadel as slaves. suddenly embraces the lives of those wolves, I’m sure that this is probably intoxicated with an obsession of love the muddled narrative or the seemingly what amounts to a poignant and well- for an hour and a half – that is if you ing their humanity, logic and thoughts Lucian (Sheen), the very first Lycan, within the fortress, Lucian decides the best place to start, as the films which turns him into a confused mess uneventful storyline. Unfortunately, it’s articulated piece of art. Eva Green ditches her Bond-girl look for a disturbing emo-goth one. enjoy fast-paced action, gory horror intact while they are in wolf-form. If is the trusted and valued leader of that it is time the Lycans made a stand that follow it chronologically are well and sexy vampires. you don’t understand that, think it the Lycans and he works for Viktor for themselves, cast off their shackles, worth-seeing. It may be a turn-off- Set hundreds of years ago, a com- is stupid or don’t care, then maybe (Nighy), the ‘big daddy’ and ruler of and be free to live life how they want. your-brain-sit-back-and-enjoy stand- munity of vampires living within a you should stop reading now and not the vampire world. But what Viktor Filled with many racial analogies and ard action/horror, but when you have huge castle in an undisclosed Europe- bother watching this film. It is, after doesn’t know is that Lucian is hav- sword-wielding violence, I don’t think nothing else to watch, what is so wrong an country decide to use werewolves all, the only bit of thinking you have to ing an illicit affair with his smoking- I have ever seen an action film attempt with that?
Korean western that has the good, bad and weird the spoken language is entirely arbi- film is a peculiar mix of wild action, the finale of the film delivered a couple moments of harsh violence may kill The Good, the Bad, the Weird trary to understanding the plot. None- extreme violence and quirky comedy. of twists, I felt as though my enthusi- your smiles as much as daft moments HHHKK theless, I anticipated that if The Good, Tae-goo provides the film’s comedic asm for the film’s odd, scrambled mix will make you chuckle, I was suffi- Director: Kim Ji-Woon the Bad, the Weird would be anything moments by his pained expressions of of tones and genres had waned and I ciently entertained to be glad I forsook Writer: Kim Ji-Woon & Kim like the few films I had seen, it would harassment and sheer disregard for the did not feel particularly bothered by a Friday evening of slouching, and in- Min-Suk most likely be visually slick and good deadly forces pursuing him. Do-won the sudden revelations in the ending. stead spent a couple of hours rushing Cast: Song Kang-ho, looking, with bits of dark violence, in- appears to be the film’s calm, moral Overall, this is still an entertaining along with Tae-yoon through the Man- lee Byung-hu, teresting camera angles, hints of black centre and steady hand. Chang-I is piece of action, a messy but great-look- churian desert. No Raiders of the Lost Jung Woo-sung comedy and intense, moody stars. simply, purely disturbing – what the ing, rowdy, Korean-Western. While Ark, but no Crystal Skull, either. It is. It is all of that, and then some. film provides in intense visual colour The Good, the Bad, the Weird is in- and detail, it also provides in graphic Annabel Slater spired by Sergio Leone’s The Good, the gore and I had to fervently close my Bad and the Ugly. The three protago- eyes at certain points of the film when “We’ve got to go see this film” – en- nists referred to in the title are Yoon Chang-I brought out his knives. thused my fella – “They say it’s every- Tae-goo (Song Kang-ho) – ‘the Weird’ Unfortunately, the thin plot of the thing that the last Indiana Jones should (and endearingly so) – a carelessly film – ‘life is about chasing, and being have been!” reckless, middle-aged gangster, Park chased’ – cannot stand up to the even- By ‘they’, he’s referring to The Metro Chang-I (Lee Byung-hun) – ‘the Bad’, – tual pacing and credibility, which really reviewer. I, looking forward to a Friday a psychotic and sadistic young gangster begins to falter in the final third. There night of cosy slouching around, am less with a penchant for tailored suits, flop- is an initially amusing (but then inter- than sure. Mentioning the last Indiana py hair and knives (as these types do…) minably long) chase-scene across the Jones film brings a sour taste to my and Park Do-won (Jung Woo-sung) – desert involving horses, motorbikes, mouth, like bile, and I’m not enthused ‘the Good’ – a young, unflappable and jeeps, machine guns, packs of venge- by westerns. To cut the story short, enigmatic bounty hunter. The action ful Manchurian bandits, gun wield- shortly afterwards we are hustling in the film starts almost right away ing gangsters, the unflappable bounty into a cinema to watch the film on its with a rowdy train-robbery by two of hunter and a section of the Japanese opening night. The audience is pretty the protagonists and it scarcely lets army who are depicted as Shakespear- sparse and there are no problems find- up from thereon. Intensely colourful ian-ly evil. But by the convoluted end of ing seats. and cluttered sets are smashed up by it, I found that I no longer particularly My knowledge of South Korean cin- flying bullets and dying henchmen as cared what the treasure would turn out ema is pretty limited to Park Chan- Yoon Tae-goo procures a precious and to be and wished the protagonists – wook’s chilling Vengeance trilogy – de- mysterious treasure map from trav- friend, foe or weird alike – would hurry spite having lived in Seoul for a year, elling aristocrats, taking him across up and bump each other off. The char- I spent most of my TV time watching the desert plains and towns of 1930s acters’ lack of depth had carried on for glossy Korean soaps and historical Manchuria with Park Chang-yi and too long and I found myself bored and melodramas where understanding of his nasty cronies in hot pursuit. The caring less for the ‘good’ guys. Although What is it about the desert that makes it so appealing to film-makers? 28 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 29 Food [email protected] Food Food Editors – Afonso Campos & Rosie Grayburn [email protected] Serves 2-3
500-600g Belly Pork (make sure there is a good layer of fat under the skin) Slow-Roast Crispy 1 small or half a large onion sliced Pork Belly 2-3 Cox’s apples, peeled, cored and sliced into 8 half-moon shaped segments Tupperware is so, 2 teaspoons fennel seeds (optional) Me gustan los ricos burritos 1 tablespoon of fresh sage, chopped (if you haven’t got sage, thyme will also work well) Olive oil 2-3 mashing potatoes, peeled and chopped and left to soak (this stops them being too starchy) so cool James Copley spies with his little eye, something Mexicano Good handful Kale chopped 1 portion of Laughing Cow cheese Rosie Grayburn Milk Food Editor Butter 100ml good-quality dry English cider 2 tablespoons double cream efore I even attempt to put even [well cooked] omelette can be 1 teaspoon grainy mustard my spoon into the broth of perfectly edible the next day. I am Salt and freshly ground black pepper delights that is these food guilty of eating half a day-old cold Café o pages, I wish to apologise. Forum pizza for lunch – if you just roll Pre-heat the oven to 220 C. Score the skin of the pork with as sharp a knife as you can find, taking care not Last week, I noticed I had it up, it tastes as good as those wanky to cut down into the meat. Pour over some boiling water, drain and dry well with kitchen towel (this process written an article that I hadn’t writ- wrap things they sell in the library. causes the skin to contract and gives you better crackling). Once dry, rub the skin lightly with olive oil before Bten at all. Unfortunately, the brilliant Now we go from fast-food for lunch sprinkling with a good pinch of salt and a teaspoon of fennel seeds. Work the salt and fennel seeds into the Vapiano review was not written by my to slow-food at the weekend. If you’re cuts you have made in the skin. Put the onion, apples, sage and a teaspoon of fennel seeds in a deep roasting hand but by the lovely Natalia Jardon- stuck in on a Sunday doing a lab report, tin and large enough to accommodate the meat. Add a dash of olive oil and give a good mix together. King. Please correct your copies from there is no better feeling than having a Arrange the apple and onions into a bed that the pork can rest on, trying to keep all of the mixture directly un- last week with a large, red, felt-tip big pot of slow-cooked stew on the hob Slow Cooking: Worth its Wait in Gold derneath the meat. This may take a bit of fiddling but once you are happy, gently place the pork in the centre of o pen. waiting for you to gobble down with a the hot oven and roast for 25 minutes. After the 25 minutes are up, turn the heat right down to 160 C and leave Earlier today I was imbibing my hunk of old bread. As with a particular brand of Irish stout, the old adage, “Good to cook for 1.5 – 2 hours. Half-an-hour or so before the pork is done cooking you need to prepare the mash daily fix of radio-broadcasted female To get a good bargain on meat, pop things come to those who wait”, is never more true than when it potatoes. Simply drain the chopped potatoes and boil in fresh water for 15 -20 minutes or until soft. Once the empowerment (a.k.a Woman’s Hour). down to your local butcher to get a re- comes to home cooking and fat, considered the scourge of food pork’s time is up, check it to see if the skin has transformed to the state of crackling-crispiness you desire. If In between the bitter divorcees and ally cheapo cut of beef or lamb. If you of the fast variety, is positively essential when it comes to taking it still seems a bit soft, just bung it back in the oven on maximum heat and check it every couple of minutes reproductively-challenged couples was are lucky enough to live in or near Bat- a more scenic route to the dining table. Fat means flavour, and, until the job is done (don’t worry too much about burning the meat, belly is very forgiving). When happy with an absorbing piece about sandwiches. tersea, you had better get acquainted when left to gently bubble along over the course of a few hours, your pork, remove from the oven and leave to rest. Drain the potatoes thoroughly, ensuring that there is no They had sent out a young and enthu- with Luis and Ricardo’s Family Butch- will slowly melt away and release untold richness of flavour leav- water left in the pan. Return the cooked potatoes to the pan with a good knob of butter, a splash of milk, the siastic researcher to collar Mancunian ers on Battersea Bridge Road. Far from ing you with meat so tender and juicy that you may well find your- Laughing Cow cheese, a pinch of salt and a few turns of freshly-ground black pepper. Mash the potato until workers on their midday breaks and to the extortionate steak and chicken you self slumping to your knees, sobbing in unbridled ecstasy. The smooth, check seasoning and set aside – keeping warm. Cook the Kale for 5 minutes in boiling water. In the reveal their darkest luncheon secrets. can buy on the supermarket shelves, recipe here, whilst requiring a bit of forethought and effort in the mean time, heat a small frying pan on high. When hot, pour in the cider and boil vigorously for two or three Unsurprisingly, most people (includ- this butcher offers unusual and tasty kitchen, is more than worth it for the pay-off. When you cook pork minutes before adding the mustard and cream. Stir together, add a bit of salt and freshly-ground pepper and ing you) can spend up to £100 a month cuts of meat at wholesale prices. And if belly like this, for example, the resulting sensation that comes set aside. Finally, cut the belly pork into thick strips and plate up with the mash and cooked kale. Put a spoonful on lunches alone. This adds up to you get to know him well he’ll pop in a with the salty, piggy crunch of crisp golden crackling, coupled or two of the apple and onion mix alongside the meat and pour the cider and cream dressing over the veg. about £600 being spent on bread, but- couple of free onions into the bargain. with the rich gooey melt of velvety flesh, is probably the closest Breathe a sigh of relief and eat with gusto whilst sipping the rest of your cider. ter and mayonnaise for the average un- Legend. you can get to the meaning of life. So, like Sting in the bedroom, dergraduate in an academic year and if Once you have your meat, the sim- slow is definitely the way to go. Written and Created by David Wallis you think about opportunity costs, you plest slow-cook can be done by just could make double that amount of food adding your meat to a couple of car- if it were homemade, or just not be in rots, onions, tins of plum tomatoes and as much debt at the end of the year. herbs, then cooking for a few hours on Unfortunately, I am a Libra and I a low heat with plenty of seasoning. To am aware of another side of this ar- save on the old gas bills, it might make ICU Fairtrade Society presents… gument: what about The Sandwich sense to invest a couple of quid in a Shop? If we all made ourselves lunch mini-slow cooker which makes enough rd everyday, amazing local eateries like stew for two. Monday 23 : Launch this one would certainly go out of busi- To continue with the ‘slow’ theme in the JCR ness. What would we do without our our Keeper of the Stove, David Wallis, th lukewarm samosas and foot-long ba- conjures up a delicious slow-cooked Wednesday 25 : Talk Discounts on guettes wrapped in 5 layers of Cling- pork belly. Belly of pork is another of and discussion in film? I think most of the student/staff those cheap cuts making a comeback. Fairtrade snacks population of Imperial would go to We’ve had our economic growth with Huxley 311 at 12.30. ruins without The Sandwich Shop. As a side of rack of lamb and fillet steak. and drinks in JCR usual we must make a compromise: The recession, sir, comes with a por- sion is awash with presenters showing strong desire to serve authentic modern Free raffle tickets for Thursday 26th: Wholefoods save yourself some money for one half tion of pork belly, shin of beef and a bit Santo Village HHHHH us how great Latin American cuisine Mexican cuisine, to succeed they must of the week and make yourself a big, of imagination. can be. serve the food that people expect. This everyone attending. visit in Sherfield. Tupperware lunch or club sandwich. Another way to ward off the budget 299 Portobello Road With hopes high and bellies empty, is exemplified by the chef begrudgingly For the rest of the week, indulge in a blues is to happify your belly with a 0208 968 4590 we tucked into a light starter of fresh serving his burritos in the American- www.santovillage.com Sandwich Shop outing or a lardy Pani- good-value meal out. Near Pembridge guacamole and requeson (a creamy style, with lots guacamole and soured ni from the JCR. Halls is a fantastic Mexican serving Best: The food, the ambience, Mexican cheese similar to ricotta) with cream. Even though this may not be If this sounds like far too much ef- fresh Latino grub. James ‘I am Giles the margaritas... todos! tortilla chips. It was a most welcome traditional, the sheer quality of the ac- fort, it might be easier to just make a Coren’ Copley checks it out this week. Worst: Que? surprise upon sitting down that Car- companiments makes Santo’s burritos little bit more of the dinner you had As for me...writing has made me hun- Price: From £4.50 for mains los, the restaurant’s co-owner insisted an excellent choice for lunch when you last night. Cold pizza, pasta bake and gry. I may go for a Happy Meal. Bye! Student Discount: 10% off Tues- we sample the margarita menu. After find yourself in the area. days to Thursdays an oh-so reluctant acceptance we were The more adventurous diner has the then presented with a pomegranate opportunity to make the chef’s day margarita and the house speciality – and select one of the many delicious ortobello Road. Chances the Margarita Santo. A delicate bal- mains on offer. Having recently seen are you will have been there ance of sour lemon and lime juices and the Hairy Bikers cook it, I chose the fairly soon after arriving at a sweet pineapple flavour, all capped chicken mole. This is a thick brown Imperial. Chances are you off with a rim of chilli on the glass. sauce, which the chef informed me had FORTNIGHT will not have been amused Cocktails are deceptively difficult to more ingredients than Portobello Road by the array of dubious antiques and perfect and the barman at Santo truly has stripey emo socks. Famous for Pgeneric tourist tat on offer. Chances has mastered the margarita. With the containing cacao, it also has ground al- are you will not have met Hugh Grant, bar open until 1am at weekends, can monds, dates and other such wonder- but rather been the flattened filling you think of a better way to escape the ment. This initially smoky and sweet in a baseball-cap-sporting-American English February than supping cock- dish, with a surprising chilli aftertaste, sandwich. Chances are you won’t have tails late into the night? is mainly cooked for special occasions th hurried back. If this is the case, then The staples of the standard Mexican in Mexico due to its complexity. Friday 27 : Sampling in you will not have noticed that at the far restaurant are present at Santo: burri- Santo have started to serve takeaway Free coffee for everyone who Sherfield during lunch end of the road, just past the wonder- tos, quesadillas, enchiladas etc. But food, but it would seem a shame not to buys Fairtrade! Exchange a ful concrete monstrosity of the West- the diverse range of fillings, from the enjoy the full experience with the won- Buy raffle tickets for your time. way flying over your head, there lives a conservative chilli con carne to orange derful decor and vibrant music. It real- recent receipt showing you small Mexican restaurant named Santo juice marinated pork, slow-cooked in ly is a heart warming experience dining chance to win chocolate Village. banana leaves and served with pickled in a cosy little corner, courtesy of some have bought a Fairtrade item Now a fair percentage of us that grew red onions. It is clear, however, that the of the most welcoming and passionate hampers, Fairtrade wine, or up in the ‘90s in middle England may dishes that the owners are most proud men in London, let alone in the restau- for a coffee voucher. associate Mexican food with yellow of serving are the cazuelas, main meals rant industry. PeopleTree vouchers. cardboard boxes full of rubbery tortil- cooked in traditional terracotta dishes Something of a hidden gem, then, las and mysterious sachets of “spice”. and served with hot flour tortillas. and the perfect location for a cliché- Want it... want it now. Who says homemade lunches aren’t cool when However, in the past few years we fi- There seems to be a reluctant accept- free romantic meal. you have one of these!!? nally appear to be catching on, televi- ance at Santo that, despite the owners FAIRTRADE 30 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Fashion Fashion Editor – Dan Wan [email protected] Staying fresh for function Seemingly nomadic Music Editor Alex Ashford has migrated across the pages of felix. SICK She brings you her fashion essentials that allows her to stay fresh for any situation.
Imperial’s own Gok Wan and Fashion Editor, Dan Wan, suggested I write something for this page (probably because he’s too busy whining about something in a different section of the paper!). I realised because we’re students, we’re always going to be poor (any spare cash is for booze), and this whole economic meltdown isn’t really helping us. So here’s a rough guide of fashion necessities that can be worn for pretty much every Boater Hats occasion, and keep you looking natty: not nasty. Kate Moss has worked out Straw boaters, you know, that you only need to wear about five different things ever, and she like the ones those guys wear as they ply their trade always gets it right. This is really just for girls, because boys only on the rivers, er, streets, er, ever have about five things to wear anyway. Get these right rivers, er....streets of Venice. Adds another dimension to and you don’t need to own anything else. an otherwise plain outfit. I’m imagining a dark blue or white outfit. Sick. Leather Jacket or Fur Coat if you’re fat, you want plain blue skinny people of all ages with their cosy loveli- jeans. Black and grey are also good. ness. Again, material is the key factor. Unless you’re not into the idea of wear- You can get these anywhere, I’m a fan You can get some really nice cashmere Alex ing the skin of another species, this will of the Cheap Monday brand which you ones from vintage shops for less than be a brilliant investment. It has been can get at places like Urban Outfitters. you’d think. a consistently good look since it was pioneered by cavemen. The best thing Sexy Black Dress Killer Heels Heels though, is that they both keep you warm in the cold and don’t overheat Have you seen Lilly Allen recently in Get the most outrageous, ridiculous you when it’s warm. Fur coats are good one? She looked simply gorge and just and divine pair you can. Go for bright for winter (80% of the British year is wore head to toe black accented with colours and space age-looking things. winter anyway) but leather jackets are red lipstick. Feel free to be as slutty as Loads of these sorts of shoes are on sale suitable for the entire year, anywhere in you like, it will still look classy if you right now because people aren’t buying the world. Vintage shops (Beyond Ret- wear all black. American Apparel has a as extravagantly as before; take advan- Collar Buttons ro, Absolute Vintage, Rokit, etc.) are really nice long-sleeved very short one tage! Shoes make or break an outfit, so The inbetweener of sick and the best places to rummage through with a big scoop back. have the fiercest shoes and the rest of shit this week is that of the col- (and in the case of fur, it at least means your outfit doesn’t matter that much. lar buttons. Go 60s mod style you aren’t directly funding the killing Grey ZipZip-up Up Hoody Hoody and do your buttons right up of cute furry things). Plain Boys’ T-Shirt to the top. Go one step further Layer under a leather jacket or blazer, and find that classic Ben Skinny Blue Jeans they are cosy and lazy and warm with- Wear it to bed on its own, wear it to Sherman shirt with the ever- out looking like you just rolled out of the pub with jeans and boots, wear it coveted button-down collars. No, you don’t want bootcut, straight leg, bed. Once again, American Apparel is to a nightclub with oil slick leggings Some say geek-chic is cool, boyfriend cut, wide leg, high-waisted, ideal for basics like this. and heels, it’s appropriate for almost but others have been telling whatever. You want plain blue skinny every occasion. Big baggy and comfy me it’s not. jeans. You don’t want embroidery, silk A Big Warm Cardigan are best, and if you want, make it less screen prints, weird pockets, extra belt frumpy and cut the neck and sleeves loops, studded rhinestones, coloured Cardigans are just so lovely. Everyone off. American Apparel has a plethora piping, deliberately distressed jeans. wears them: boys, girls, little kids, of different t-shirt styles in different You want plain blue skinny jeans. Even grannies and grandads. They unite colours.
Lady Gaga Could there be anything more tacky than a woman who despite her zany exterior, has the personality of a brick? Oh, look at my bow in my hair! Haha, you’re the fool, because its actually IS my hair! Well, probably extensions, but Paris Hilton described Lady Gaga as a musical and fashion ‘icon’. She is neither. It’s also been reported that her infamous vintage sunglasses have been snatched by a ‘crazed fan’. To the fan, good on you. Now put them up on ebay for other morons to buy. SHIT Why is everyone going Twitter? onabout tool. onhowto this use powerful Why shares iseveryone hisview Lai Richard T Twitter? 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@BarackObama @cnnbrk @stephenfry @twitter @kevinrose @britneyspears @nytimes @lancearmstrong @ev @algore @Wossy @wilw @mashable @TechCrunch @nprpolitics @Veronica @ijustine @THE_REAL_SHAQ @zappos @aplusk @woot @LeoLaporte @DowningStreet @WholeFoods @MCHammer @BBCClick @MrTweet @dooce @feliciaday @jimmyfallon @Schofe @coldplay @DaveJMatthews @ICHCheezburger @JohnCleese @LiveEarth @SaraBareilles @guykawasaki @guardiantech @chrisdjmoyles @Scoblezier @biz @TinaFey @sockington @rainnwilson @Agent_M @ricksanchezcnn @anamariecox @someecards @JetBlue @BJMendelson @Starbucks @jdickerson @alexalbrecht @macrumors @FragDolls @pennjillette @sacca @davos @jodrellbank @chrisbrogan @jack @THErealDVORAK @rustyrockets @AFineFrenzy @AlohaArleen @MarsPhoenix @perrybelcher @davemorin @BigRichB @darthvader @grader @Andrew303 @Astronautics @problogger @hodgman @hastags @garyvee @caseywright @chrispirillo @espn @TheOnion @RobMcNealy @hotdogsladies @zaibatsu @CaliLewis @TheBusyBrain @brooksbayne @eleesha @maddow @nansen a tale is as close as I could get to the to world ofMadrileño treachery. get could I as close as is tale a little doubt that foul involved. play was there acting wereperformed, had been the owner.professional its However to it return to proceeded tracks, the ing cover accomplice, His it. dropped he clumsily, so Then, wallet. his snatched opportunity, the seizing pickpocket, a earlier amidst a rush-hour crowd when train a boarding was father his ordeal: the of account full a gave companion my hangout, Hemingway Ernest an as na 3...2...1... I and catch –aMadrileño pickpocket – what donewhenyoufind should ponders be Lowe Dylan of... piece You thieving little Friday 20 February 2009 February Friday20 eous passport photograph. passport eous me over and gavefor me mylooks hid- called officer customs the Until tion. enact - imagina paranoia-corrupt my in and each wallet my lose to ways 50 I could Barajas airport, think of at least state- effective, nearly mygotrobbed. dad ment: but simple, the followed was What belongings. my over caution extra take I that suggested ny, days touring few the in city compahis - German my a spend to me invited had who one: friend, distressing a was received I SMS first The soil. Spanish on landed plane my when afternoon theft. for: famed is capital Spanish the thing one this into delve us let sangrias, and anyway) ters - win during operate don’t (they fights ing them isn’t either. So forget the bull- - read endure you making in, pleasure felix. inthe nextlished offelix. issue pub- it have to chance a win and ac.uk words), send it to travel.felix@imperial. ing’s humble origins (no more than 150 of madness? re- was feat this commercialising for sponsible Who jumping? bungee) (or be must mad! barking You legs? your to strapped rope latex a with bridge a off Jumping heavenly too ghost-thetapasandbeers are Don’t justgotherefor Hemingway’s n I avl cm t blee that believe to came naïvely I And Settling down at down Settling within helpless and alone Standing February bleak a be to appeared It Write a short account of bungy jump- bungy of pioneers the were who But (6 Plaza de Santa Ana), well-known well-known Ana), Santa de Plaza (6 or the Prado isn’t what I take take I what isn’t Prado Mayor the or Plaza of accounts tive - repeti pompous, writing while Madrid: of bits boring the with you patronise to going not am Cervecería Alema- Cervecería - To commit anact ofutter bollocks The RoyalAcademyitself, ElRastro T Travel guilty over his fraudulent overhis deed. guilty face dead iard lurking mybehind back, - Span a as materialised fully owner its retracted, swiftly it followed that ond sec a of fraction The hand. Another sensed that it opening the through dived front pouch was unzipped. As my hand strap and my intobag swung view. The the readjusted I am, I as tra-sensitive Ul- thigh. my around twitch the felt I H&M. into view. came soon Gran Vía Calle the glorious later, Hours city. the around wander to nofurther.proceed begged metro, the in incident the by traumatised still weekend friend, My frenzy. the of midst the in visitors the on preying Academy those for Thievery’, ‘Royal of the like More tasy.- fan hunter’s bargain every is Rastro El market, flea own day. Madrid’svery ravel Editor– wud’ hv ls ayhn more anything lost have wouldn’t I and laterstoreintothe stroll short A into it made we before wasn’tItlong aimless an began thus relented; I Rastro El was it and Sunday came In something that didn’t belong there. Dylan Lowe - around my neck ever again. around my ever neck tion inthe future. situa- similar a with deal toexperience you would have pickpocket, the gained a – caught or – found have you Once precautions. right the with them vent pre - can you because but uncommon, relatively are incidents these because Not shouldn’t. You loss? risk and the theft of by Earth, on else anywhere or city, the visiting from deterred be you should whyMadrid’. avoid fact, In of theft. of act an violence than thefor pickpocket an act for persecuted be to likely more was I Judge Besides, sentence. a Dread some deliver to with ethics someone messed-up take would It know. never would I des not, or by peration illegality to driven was man good a punishment. battering as Just police. the Forget place. first the in him if detaining bother Only they evidence. of lack to due him crimes. then hand the man to the police for his a him clare de- down, him pin to liberty the had I target. ideal tourist. I looked like pickpocket’severy Japanese clichéd the like neck around loose hung camera hand, each in map and Planet Lonely a holding by vours - fa any myself do exactly didn’t I Yet where as accessible as the front pocket. foolish enough to leave valuables - some wasn’t I since tissues, of packet a than And I will never wear a camera camera a wear never will I And sake, God’s ‘for saying not am I Ididnothing. So I could donothing. the Whether judge? to I am who But discharged have would police The thief? the to done have I could What for stealing, stealing, for puta de hijo - I of whom I know, rather than those those than Wikipedia from harvested freshly rather know, I whom of based on my own encounters and those articles deliver to only pledge I reason that for predecessors; my by set ards gers I crossed, will live up to the - stand Feasting on local delicacies, delicacies, local on Feasting dialect. local the using reservation our hostel the up Ringing café. cozy local a in get and priately dressed and full of enthusiasm, the scene, dashing and graceful, appro- them.loathe them, andIdespise rigour. booze-fuelled with corridors fore screeching at each other across the - be not but beds, their in comfort find later they Bol ofSpag anotheryet meal and nightfall Pass tourist). Iberian an of archetype Afonso’s in shoes, Gola appalling coloured brightly (and fashion on take their with lobbies hotel in havoc wreak and locals, the for regard dis and ignorance with streets the ple ‘foreign’, everything whine about tram- wheels. their and nativetheirtongue banter in They of squeal the and mac tar the hit suitcases the as crackle the coaches, air-conditioned of them out of pour hordes way The one. being for such acontroversy. worthy depth philosophical a with ject ever, have I actually mused on this sub- tourists’.for them now,untilhow Not they received from locals who ‘mistook mistreatment the over ‘travellers’ low fel- of moans disgruntled heard have I sake. vanity’s for only but traveller, that tourism. is industry tious traveller and the inconsiderate, preten- elegant the between distinguishing in confusion no be should There bution. - retri in down you hunt will I and ist tour a me call – traveller of synonym is ‘tourist’, which with confused ent? with biblical authority: “tourists don’t “tourists authority: biblical with writer, travel legendary the Theroux, festival. festival. local a is that fray the into descending before stories travel colourful change n ae’ w ‘rvles s differ so ‘travellers’ we aren’t And Mind changed: I don’t hateI tourists. hate I And tourists. hate I yes. Oh where should westart? So a as myself branded always have I there?Or is ‘traveller’.said I be you, to Mind Not We geologist and avid traveller.avid and Fin - geologist self. My name is Dylan, first year my introduce to forgot I shine, my make to) (fail and worth my prove to rush a n ol cm sagrn into swaggering come would We ae n nur over enquiry an make we treat these words by Paul by words these treat debut felix ex we not . a ------each week to be published. to be week each selected be will one and imperial.ac.uk travel.felix@ to it Send it. hear to love potential. their full to unleash afraid not are who those And dauntless. the for reserved is travelling of world The pretty photographs inside your Rough Guide. the not happens, travelling of magic the where are tracks off-beaten The unfamiliarity. before cower they if travellers travellers are neither and unless they brave the uncharted waters, explorers not are Explorers oneself. of discovery spiritual a but lifetime, a of adventure an only delights, not had having out homely come your then shit, the in yourself putting off casting means Which travelling. – from tions - expecta and – to attitude one’s alter themselves. come tourists of vehicle the experience.” to itself the from experience shifts focus becomes when “travel tourism out: pointed com), (www.bravenewtravel. Traveler New Brave to contributor Harbecke, Daniel common with their archF As enemies. traveller? Idon’t think so. the for definition suitable a touristic’ and weare better. suggests, the ideology as theof tourist, xenophobe. elitist, easily mistaken as the works of a bitter, anti-tourism: of example a prime is rant paragraph-long My born. is the whole, that the class of anti-tourists on ambitiously,more tourism and, ists tour of notoriety the from oneself ate measures. materialistic by driven be not should traveller and a traveller guilty). (Iplead Starbucks of windows the through peers who he and tourist, the be can ed in a tux. The person in the local café nightmare while the fashion tourist is well suit the be may traveller A hotel. a in traveller a as hostel likely a in as lodge to is tourist A work. tourist/travel- won’t ler the of definitions my travellers don’t going.” where know they’re been, they’ve where know Got Got any travel trivia to share? I would I leavethis challenge. youwith To atraveller become onemust truly - be have tourism of attackers The in lot a have anti-tourists fact, In principles all ‘opponentof the is But - dissoci to phenomenon this in is It tourist the between distinction The Granted, like all existing stereotypes, andelitist. mestereotypical Call [email protected] Tourist Vs. Traveller We are the exact opposite opposite exact the are * T Dylan Lowe felix ravel Editor 33 - - 34 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 355
Is your club cooler than the cat that Clubs & Societies got the cream? Write to us. Clubs & Socs Editor - Alice Rowlands [email protected] What’s on... Clubs & Societies Calendar Editors – Lily Topham & Rachel D’oliveiro International Night 2009 [email protected] Peter Welsby takes us through the highs (and well it was great) of the hip-shaking, tap-dancing, pride- making, Zorba-dancing night that is International Night Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
riday saw the successful re- The crowd were reawakened after plete a clean sweep of awards follow- without any problems thanks to the party at the Union continued until the turn to the Great Hall of Im- the interval by the new pioneers of ing their success in the OSC Football hard work put in by many including early hours where performers celebrat- perial College International Chinese rock, MACE, representing the World Cup in November last year. The DramSoc, the OSC Exec and all our ed together after many hours of prac- Ethical Careers Chocolate Varsity 2009 Fairtrade Fairtrade Night 2009. Worries over Chinese Student and Scholars Associa- night was a fantastic success which ran volunteers who helped out. The after- tice. Roll on International Night 2010! ticket sales in the run up to tion. Super Mario, Zelda, Link, Peach Exhibition Tasting Don’t miss out on the opportu- Fortnight Fortnight the event proved unfounded as more and of course Pikachu were given a big nity to get involved in the most thanF 300 students defied the credit fright by the mighty Godzilla in a Japa- The Ethical Careers Exhibition is The newly formed Choclate anticipated sports event in the Wholefoods Market is joining We’ll be sampling Fairtrade crunch to attend a truly spectacular nese sketch demonstrating the impor- back! Why not come along and Society invite you to their sec- Imperial calendar! us for the day, so come along products and handing out in- extravaganza of multicultural talent. tance of pride and bravery. A stunning find out more? ond chocolate tasting. to sample their products, have formation about Fairtrade. After an initial Flag Dance introduc- display of martial arts was given by the Will Imperial Medicals manage a look at their literature and Come and see us for a chat, a ing the International Societies to the Seminars: This week, the session will be to win the overall champion- hear more about what they snack or to buy a ticket for the audience the night began with a carni- 11am: Development in Action comparing chocolates of the ship and will Imperial College do! raffle or our Cheese and wine val feel thanks to the Afro-Caribbean “ 11.30am: Coral Cay same percentage cocoa from be walking away with the JPR evening next week! Society’s colourful dance. Next up was The belly-dancers Conservatories different brands. Williams for the first time since Time: 12-2pm the Malaysian Society with their crea- 12pm: Corporate Social the start of Varsity in 2003? Place: Level 2, Sherfield Time: 12-2pm tive Stomp act. Special recognition is continued to wow Responsibility This is a great chance for those Price: Admission Free Place: Level 2, Sherfield due here as they willingly took part 12.40pm: Futerra Sustainability of who want a bit more out of There are matches starting Price: Admission Free with little notice as a last minute re- the crowd with 1.20pm: Energy Futures your chocolate. at Harlington and Ethos from placement for other acts which pulled midday, culminating in the JPR out with only a week to go! their hip-shaking All seminars take place in the Come along, meet new peo- Williams Rugby Varsity match The Belly-dancers continued to wow ” Union Dining Hall and are free. ple and find out about the at 19.30 at Richmond Athletic the crowd with their hip-shaking antics antics world of cocolate tasting and Association Ground. Welcome to What’s On! Malaysian whilst the Imperial College Advanced Stalls from various organisa- chocolate! Tap Team performed a great audition tions on Sherfield Concourse For tickets and more info,see As usual , this page will Night for the next James Bond introduc- Wushu Society who impressed the au- Levels 1&2. Time: 5-6pm www.imperialcollegeunion. feature club and so- tion video. In their first performance dience with their powerful routine. The Place: Meeting Room 1, Beit org/union-products-295/ ciety events running IC Malaysian Society presents of the night the Cypriot Society were scene was then set for the return of the Price: Free/£3 (Members/Non- varsity-day-2009-1122 from Monday to Sun- the spectacular Malaysian welcomed onto the stage by their huge crowd-pleasing Cypriot Society who Members) day of next week, so get Night 2009: DIAMONDS! following of fans to perform a medley performed the ever popular Zeibekiko EEE Revue Time: 12 noon-10pm in touch to let us know of dances including the Syrtos, Stamna and Zorba the Greek. It was a fitting Place: Richmond Athletic As- what you are up to! The allure of diamonds and an and Sousta. The final act of the first final act before the Grand Finale where The annual variety show put sociation Athlectic Ground, elaborate plan unite 3 unlikely half was a highly entertaining comedy all performers were welcomed back on by students and lecturers Harlington, Ethos The deadline for next people, Leung, Karim and Sa- sketch from the Arabic Society who onto the stage for some final recogni- from the EEE department with Advance Price: £10/£7 (All day week’s edition is mid- mantha. However, when things showed us just how much fun Who tion from the audience. music, comdey and dance! ticket/JPR Williams Cup only) night on Monday 23rd go wrong, Anis, a carefree girl, Wants to Be a Millionaire, The X-Fac- The Arabic Society won the Best Act Krishna February. and her caring boyfriend Aar- tor and Gladiators can be. award as decided by the OSC to com- Time: 12-2pm on are sucked into a world of Place: dB’s, Beit Consciousness To feature, please send in greed and treachery. Price: £3/£4 (EEE Students/ Fairtrade the following: Non EEE) Krishna Cosciousness Society As secrets and desire threaten will be holding a debate enti- Fortnight - Club name to push Aaron and Anis to the tled “The Mysterious Origins - Event name point of no return, the fate of of Man?”. What do you know about Fair- - Date(s) the diamonds, and the peo- Fairtrade trade? How does it work? - Time ple involved are precariously East Meets West: the ultimate There will be discussion about - Place poised for disaster. Can Aaron Fortnight Charles Darwin’s Theory of Learn more by Sally Reith - Price (if applicable) and Anis survive the pande- Evolution. from Shared Interest, a Fair- - Short description of the monium, or will greed have the celebration of culture Fairtrade Fortnight kicks off this trade lending society, who will event (max. 30 words) last laugh? lunch time! Come and get free Time: 5.45pm talk about Fairtrade and what samples of Fairtrade snacks Place: Room 342, Huxley Shared Interest does. The talk All submissions should Tickets will be sold in the JCR Saman Zaman gives us a quick preview into what the and drinks and look at Fairtrade Price: Admission Free will be followed by an open be sent to: every day before the event. jewellery from Nepal, displayed discussion and free snacks and spectacular show has to offer this year and sold by MySmallshop. drinks will be provided. [email protected] Time: 7pm Place: Great Hall, Sherfield ow in its 17th year, with ascending acclaim, the show has taken mense success at the London Palla- Time: 12-2pm Time: 12.30pm Price: £10 (includes Malaysian tickets already in sale, place in a number of prestigious venues dium, the show returns to the West Place: Junior Common Room Place: Room 311, Huxley meal after the show) this February will once in the heart of London, including the End again at the Theatre Royal and the Price: Admission Free Price: Admission Free again see the return of London Barbican, Shaftesbury Theatre evening will be hosted by legendary the popular charity cul- and London Palladium. Over the years, comedian and household name: Nina tural variety show: East Meets West. the show has also progressed to feature Wadia of ‘Goodness Gracious Me’ and NPresented by Imperial College’s more cultures from all over the world, ‘All About Me’. Picocon 26 Malaysian Night very own Indian Society, the show such as Chinese Wu Shu, Russian Bal- Finally, and most importantly, we first began as a small student fashion let and Afrogala, and the variety of acts must remember the core purpose of Come to Picocon, the Sci-Fi Society’s Annual Convention! The day IC Malaysian Society presents the spectacular Malaysian Night 2009: show held annually in lecture theatres has included drama, comedy, singing, this show: to raise money and aware- features specal guests including Robert Rankin (Humour – Brentford DIAMONDS! around Charring Cross Hospital. catwalk, dance and live performances ness for the worthy causes that are the Trilogy, Sproutelore Massacre) along with LAN, booksellers, board It only featured 20 participants and from special celebrity guests on the charities we are proudly supporting games, the annual Picocon Quiz (with fabulous prizes!) and more! Tickets will be sold in the JCR every day before the event. fewer than 100 audience members: night! this year: Save the Children, Care Edu- a far cry from the 1500 sell-out last From its humble beginnings to what cation Trust India and Africa and The Time: 10am-7pm Time: 7pm year! As the popularity of the event in- it is today: the largest show in Impe- Winnicott Foundation for neonates Place: dB’s, Beit/ LT1, Blackett (talks) Place:Great Hall, Sherfield creased, the show started to diversify rial and the longest running student (RAG charity 2009). Last year EMW Price: £8/ £10/ £5 (Students/Full Price/ICSF Members) Price: £10 (includes Malaysian meal after the show) and widen by adding dance and music show in the UK, East Meets West 2009 raised about £10000 for charity and from Indian and Western cultures. promises to be even more spectacular with your help we are hoping to top Saturday This unique yet simple concept of and memorable. that this year! RCC Nighthike merging the best of both cultures and This year’s line-up of scintillating The essence of the show has been in blending traditional acts with contem- acts boasts the finest student talent transcending all barriers and uniting The Nighthike is an annual team event for walkers, runners and orienteers around the woodland and hills of Sevenoaks, Kent. The event is organ- porary ones was a phenomenal success from universities across London, as people from all ages and backgrounds ised by the Imperial College Union Recreational Clubs Committee and is open to all. This is a great night of clue-finding, adventurous walking and and in 2003, East Meets West was held well as the best from Imperial College to celebrate the glory of every culture, hopefully a bit of map-reading (but if you can’t, don’t let that put you off!) in the Hammersmith Apollo: the first of course! and by staying true to this ethos, East year that the show had taken place in In particular not to be missed are the Meets West continues to grow from Time: 7:30 Saturday 28th February - 10am Sunday 1st March a venue other than Imperial’s Great amazing performances by IC Funkol- strength to strength. Price: £5 (This covers logistics, hut hire, minibus support during the event, maps, prizes, refreshments and a cooked breakfast.) Hall. ogy and also bhangra by IC’s Ground- We hope to see you all at the show Since then, to accommodate the shaker: runners up of The Bhangra that it meets and even exceeds all your More info: www.union.ic.ac.uk/rcc/nighthike ever-increasing audience and mark its Showdown. Following last year’s im- high expectations, see you there! 36 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 37 Fun & Games [email protected] A Quickie (Crossword) 1,425 FUCWIT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Solution 1,424 Coffee Break [email protected] E L S E I T R I A L R U N League Table D N U U H O E D S N E T U 8 9 G Y M N A S T D H E G E L Teams: E E A C B F A L W I R E L MÖchten sie mein Manschaft? 219 Points 9 W I C K E T K E E P E R N A N G O R L E U D D S A U Team Shotgun 218 Points 10 11 RAG-tacular! Battle of the Chamberlainsjust in case you don’t get it, this is a joke! Y I E L D S E U N I S O N Scii Comm 25 Points S W L O A N P R E B L E E 11 B D E S S E R T S P O O N Team Rubbish 17 Points 12 13 14 15 S D V E H T I N D L N T D Ravi Pall T H A N E O S W A H I L I Individuals: Coffee Break Editor 15 16 17 Y Y T A R C O L Y G O S N E V E R Y O N E S S N A G Giramundo 67 Points 17 18 19 20 21 Hringur Gretarsson 33 Points Last week’s winners were Möchten sie mein 20 21 his week has quite possibly security clearance. Seriously these Manschaft who took it upon themselves to win Jonathan Phillips 18 Points been my busiest week yet. guys p0wn MI6. Yes I just wrote p0wn, everything... well done lads! 22 23 Enoch 15 Points So many thing happened tough! Somehow though, the Spanner Jov was really upset that nobody came down it’s almost like a blur of was stolen from RAG (making this lo- to claim their free kisses from you guys, so to en- unadulterated excitement. cation not so secure). Whadafuh? Owen Neville Mark sure you get full points make sure you pop down The Felix University/College-Wide Invitational Tournament League I write this column as I speak to En- This was a seriously not cool move. to felix office in the West wing to register your is new and improved. There are now prizes for both the winning 24 25 team and the winning individual. Toch the mastermind behind the cross- Who would steal from a charity? Many Known from: Known from: Known from: entry within 30 minutes of submission. All en- words you all enjoy so much. Well not suspected RSM (Royal School of Mines tries will be charged, but may not be counted. Basically, you get points for doing all the various puzzles and chal- anymore. He has now stopped making for those that don’t know). Would you Particle Physics Politics Medic President lenges, and at the end of the year, the winning team and the win- them, but whatever. Anyway here I am know it, the RSM played to these suspi- ning individual will win an iPod nano! The scoring is as follows: telling him everything that makes my cions, and organised a trade (previous- Biggest Achievement: Biggest Achievement: Biggest Achievement: ACROSS 22 Timepiece (5) 4 State of apathy (6) life so busy, stressful and exciting at ly in the year CGCU stole the Davy). 23 Epicure (7) 5 Drink to one’s health (5) 5 points for the first correct answers for Slitherlink, Wordoku, Lon- the same time. I would regale the long The trade was the Davy for Spanner Together with Emilio Segrè, they dis- Was made British Prime Minister in Becoming the leader of the pack for the 1 From days gone by (7) 24 Had enough courage (5) 6 Transportation company (7) don Underground, Mentalist Maze and Quickie. 4 points for second, and some what entertaining stories to and Bolt, to which CGCU agreed. covered the presence of antiprotons, a 1937 when Stanley Baldwin retired af- medical students, despite being well 5 Snares (5) 25 Make an object with liquid and a 7 Liquid used in solutions (7) 3 points for third, 2 points for fourth and 1 point for fifth. you, however there is no where near The meeting time 11 PM, the meeting sub-atomic antiparticle which earned ter the abdication of Edward VIII. into his bondage and S&M. 8 Smooth finish (7) mould (3-4) 12 Resolute and unflinching (7) enough space. Sorry. place Queens lawn. Come 11:30 there Double points will be awarded for correct cryptic crossword an- them both the Nobel Prize in 1959. 9 Month of the year (5) 13 Agricultural machinery (7) swers, because it’s über hard. I will tell you one story. The tale of was no sign of RSM, Could this be a Education: Education: 10 To lose bodily fluid (5) 15 One who is removed from an area the mascots. In particular the CGCU ploy to steal the Davy and not return Education: Mason Science College. 11 Silhouette (7) DOWN at risk (7) Simple! Now then FUCWITs, send in your answers to felix@impe- mascots (Spanner and Bolt) and the Spanner and Bolt? Or do they even Not important really, he’s a douche. 12 Knock over (6) 16 Determined (6) rial.ac.uk or [email protected]. Go! RSM mascot (The Davy). Both unions have Spanner and Bolt at all? Turns out Dartmouth College, University of Cali- Diseases: 14 Moral; clothed (6) 1 Off the cuff (2-3) 18 Pest eaten by ladybugs (5) are fiercely protective of their mascots, they didn’t. The RAG committee got a fornia, Berkeley,University of Chicago. Diseases: 17 Swaggering show of courage (7) 2 Repeating unit (5) 20 Extreme; very (5) and are probably prepared to throw text in the late hours of last Wednesday Bowel Cancer. 19 Grown-up (5) 3 Country in Latin America (7) 21 Fundamental principle (5) a few punches to ensure the safety of night, detailing Spanner had been bur- Diseases: Gonorrhea, NSU, Syphilis, Herpes, these immensely heavy metal trophies. ied in a certain location. RAG quickly Fact: Genital warts, Pubic lice, HIV, Bad Well as the story goes RAG (that’s recovered the giant tool, and there Diagnosed with Parkinson in 1985. AIDS, Chlamydia and Micro Penis. ICU RAG, not ICSM) bum rushed the were no longer any lost mascots. Good Signed the Munich Agreement in 1938, Think of any STD and he’s had it. CGCU office, and stole Spanner and times. All in all, we are now in happy Fact: conceding the Sudetenland region of Bolt, successfully might I add. After times. CGCU paid a ransom to RAG, Czechoslovakia to Germany. As a re- Fact: securing the oversized spanner and which all goes to charity. He was a member of Scientists for Sa- sult, he has had tea with Mussolini and Ho-down-roscopes. Somebodies shot your generic male/female relative! bolt, it was place in a high tech, maxi- Also too many texts this week, the kharov, Orlov, and Shcharansky, three beat Hitler in a moustache-growing Slept with his cousin in freshers’ week mum security location. Known only to cat phone actually caught on fire, so physicists of the former Soviet Union competition. (OK so not strictly true, last year, then realised it was actually a This week felix have been taken on school trip to Texas in the US of A. We found it to be very dangerous a select few individuals with national keep them coming! imprisoned for their political beliefs. but it could have happened!) man which made things worse. Aquarius Taurus Leo Scorpio
Your fortunes will be You might have You come home this Apparently Kent mixed. You will have thought that the week to find that you has been over run enough time, money song ‘Boom Boom have been burgled. by a gang of teenage Take better care of your and motivation to Boom’ by the Unlucky son/female layabouts who have complete necessary Venga-people was relative!!! The bur- had their belts stolen beaver LSE! tasks. You will or will just mindless 1990’s glar was either male so their trousers keep Top Trumps not meet a boy/girl, if you do they will be a 5 pop, but if you did you’ll be wrong. It’s actually or female as the quality of both sex’s tea-leafing on falling down. That’s only a minor problem, and you will talk about the weather and have about, or maybe not about, fierce masturbation can only be described as equal. However you the fact that they have a penchant for raping less chance of converting than the Milk Man. over your girl/boyfriend’s hair/scalp. Just listen assume it was probably a member of IC Foot- old women is probably one that needs to be In summary this will be a plain week, lacking to the lyrics... having said that Vengaboys are ball as your anti-sexist views don’t help quash addressed. Having said that, old ladies probably Cut them out! extremes. You either will or will not enjoy it. actually shittier than a Phil Collins drum solo. your prejudices against sports clubs. don’t get much so I guess they might enjoy it.
Pisces Gemini Virgo Sagittarius
Ordinary, unexciting Stepping out with You are the lucky My my, look at you; Highest score and drab summarise your generic asexual chunt (see next week having a read of a your week. Nothing partner this week for a definition) that newspaper. Fool. Why wins controversial will then. Nice. Make is sent over the pond not get yourself down happen at all. Your sure you form a to Texas. Have fun, to the newsagents application to the mutually beneficial because over there on the walkway and Union fun police has been turned down on relationship based on trust, equality and they possess the intellect comparable to that of pick up a copy of Nuts so you can wank yourself the grounds that you once stayed out past respect. Oh yer... don’t go for a dump in the my middle toe on my right foot, i.e. not much. into a frenzy over pictures of girls/boys that you midnight and had more than the weekly morning, at all. Do not run the risk of shitting Try not to use words longer than two syllables- will never get. Oh yeah, this week you will have recommended alcohol limit in 6 days. You are out a brownie so large that it leaves the toilet or expect long delays as they attempt to proc- trouble opening a bottle of bolognese sauce. Your Collect them all! a fucking beigeist. absolutely decimated. ess the sentence before answering ‘dunno’. Uncle/Aunt may be able to help. Aries Cancer Libra Capricorn
Today will be a good This week the felix I heard that This week you take a day. You will take team discovers that someone had told boy/girl home from Watch this a shit so large that ‘somebody’ in the me something the Union. Big hand it will have three the College reads that I didn’t really fella/lass – he/she breather rings in the horoscopes. understand or care had a cracking set of space for it. For those of you Apparently they about. No? oh, moral ethics. When who don’t know, a breather ring is when you don’t enjoy reading about their daughters probably just me then. No one likes the little fornication starts she/he immediately goes down take a breath mid-poo and your sphincter getting anally raped by a horde of drunken Chinese TV wannabe anyway. He smells of to your meat sword/tuna canoe. Kerrching! Then additional cards contracts, but doesn’t cut through the turd – Football Club members in an alleyway in sweet and sour pork that had been regurgitated suddenly without warning he/she bites your just thins it out over a small section. Under Hammersmith. Well, if you don’t like reading into a pint of Guinness and allowed to brew for penis/clunge clean off, you shriek in pain, but it’s Manny, Swirly & Felix in front the Beaver newspaper stand inspection you will be proud. about it, we’ll send you the dvd. 24 hours in an atmosphere of beer slop gas. too late, he/she ate it. Pint? 38 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 39 Fun & Games [email protected] [email protected] Sport
Slitherlink 1,425 This week’s texts: Olympic and World champions defeated 1,424 Solution Imperial College Boat Club’s Freeman-Pask in impressive form as he takes LM1x title at Great Britain trials 3 3 2 3 3 1 2 “I’m pretty sure I just saw a cross 2 2 2 between mini Rupert the Bear Christina Duffy 2 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 3 3 and Beaker run out of the Union. 3 1 3 3 Whadafuh” Adam Freeman-Pask was unbeatable 2 1 1 3 in the third phase of GB rowing winter 1 2 1 1 2 2 2 3 2 1 3 “Is the only organisation more assessment trials at Boston, Lincoln- 2 3 2 hated than the football club Al- shire taking top ranking in the LM1x. 2 1 2 3 1 1 3 3 1 Qaeda?” 16:27.92 was the winning time; the 2 1 3 2 2 fastest clocked time over all divisions 3 3 2 2 2 3 “Murdoch, we want our money on the day. This was almost two sec- 2 2 2 2 3 back. ACC was shit and we never onds ahead of Paul Mattick of Wall- got any beer. Pay up!” ingford RC who in 2007 took gold After a few minor cock ups we are in the LM4- at the World rowing 2 3 2 3 2 back on track... hopefully. Winners of “Malcolm, you’re a cunt!” championships. last week’s epic foray into the world In third place, twelve seconds behind of dots and lines were Möchten sie 07726 799 424 “Sorry, that last one wasn’t harsh Freeman-Pask, was Olympic reserve 1 1 0 2 1 1 3 mein Manschaft. Safe. enough. You’re a drug dealing, Rob Williams (London RC). Williams crack smoking, thick headed, un- was also the winner of the final cycling 2 How to play: talented cunt.” time trial at a squad training camp in TEXT US! OR Sydney this January, which Freeman- It’s quite simple, all numbers are in a “Chaz, will you stop cocking up the Pask did not attend. cell and must be surrounded with a WE WON’T puzzles. Some of us are trying to Coaches Steve Trapmore, Stuart 1 2 2 2 2 3 2 corresponding number lines. Lines get an iPod here” Whitelaw and Cox Henry Fieldman cannot split and there can only be FEED THE CAT! accompanied the ICBC posse of LM1x 3 2 3 1 2 3 one continuous line. Any cells with no “Also thanks for last night xxx” entries Freeman-Pask & Andy Gor- numbers can have any number of lines. don, M1x entries Simon Hislop & Dan Look at the solution above for help. Cadoux-Hudson and M2- entries Dom Meyrick-Cole & Henry Goodier. Competitors were staying in the Anti-Comfort Inn at Boston and were just lulling to sleep when animal noises (later described by distressed witness- es as macaque mating calls) were heard Wordoku 1,425 Going Underground across the hall. The source of this noc- turnal wailing was swifty identified as Scribble box Last week was a tricky one, but if you Each letter in the alphabet is assigned a the M2-’s room. B E G really wanted to win, you would have value, 1-26 (see table) and when added Sporty and Ginger Spice’s racing found the obvious answer HYDE together for a specific word the sum combination are a nautical extension A X B PARK CORMER, which adds to 160. equals the total shown. All you have to of the cottage love-pair starring just Well done to Enoch who is taking his do is scan and send the Underground one member of the original version. G E M Y holiday away from the cryptic cross- station that is hidden each week to su- Come Saturday morning it was se- Möchten sie mein Manschaft words to focus on winning an iPod. [email protected] rious business and Led Zeppelin was Last year’s ACC sportsman of the year, Adam Freeman-Pask yet again makes a strong case to be considered again for the 2009 award 1,424 Solution managed to sneakily pip all drafted in by Freeman-Pask and Viper B G E others to the post with last A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Fieldman for some final inspiration. N R O P T L U D A week’s Wordoku answer of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Trapmore gave an in-depth pre-race 14th in U23 (29th overall). rick-Cole came 18th overall (9th in crews trying to replicate the success. racing. Y G A S U T P D U A O R N L ADULTPORN. To all those who chat on “the finer points of sculling” IC student Oli Mahony competed for U23/5th in U20). At the half-way point Recent reports claim ITB foam roll- Mason was modest in his contri- U A L D R N T P O wrote in saying I have got it B A N K which was quickly summarised by London RC and came 10th in the trial. Run DMC had exhausted all leg re- ers (or AFP foam rollers) are sold out bution to the result when speaking X E B R D N T O U L A P wrong. NO YOU’RE WRONG!! 2+1+14+11=28. Job done. Whitelaw informing Freeman-Pask In the heavyweight single sculls race serves and had an unscheduled switch across London. Pre-early morning ses- to Freeman-Pask later; “You owe me L T P N D A O U R 2 1 14 11 = 28 “You’re not a bad sculler”. there was tough competition with Alan to guns. Unfortunately these were de- sions have seen squads releasing all one”.Freeman-Pask has been develop- U S A X A O U L P R D T N Wordoku is identical to Sudoku; This seemed to do the trick and with Campbell of Tideway Sculler’s taking a pleted even faster and after a failed at- tight fascia tissue and decreasing ten- ing momentum this season, posting P L T R N D A O U we’ve just replaced numbers So which London tube station sums to 152? a pat on the back AFP was sent on his clear sixteen second victory ahead of tempt of switching to lats there were sion on the iliotibial band in a gracious two consecutive personal bests on his D U A O L P N R T with letters. Complete the puzzle way to destroy the field. Ian Lawson (Leander) in second and only a few strokes left in the race. tribute to their hero. 2km ergo scores [6:14.7 at a weight of M X Y and then send the whole grid to ICBC had entries in all three men’s Andy Triggs-Hodge (Molesey BC) in Back at ICBC basecamp Freeman- But before we all get carried away 72kg]. O N R A U T P L D [email protected]. competitive categories (LM1x, M1x & third.ICBC’s Simon Hislop and Dan Pask’s 101.2% gold rank win has been with Pask-mania let the truth be known This is testament to the hard work A Y U You will not get credit for just the = 152 M2-) with good results overall. Joining Cadoux-Hudson finished 13th and an inspiration to the entire boat club. that Bill “Rigmeister” Mason (of ICBC that he has put in over the winter and word alone. It’s not an anagram. Freeman-Pask in the lightweight single 20th (6th in U23) respectively. The gym’s FitVibe machine has been Club Room fame) laid his magic hands a big public statement for the develop- sculls was Andy Gordon who came In the pair’s race Goodier and Mey- vibrating non-stop since the news with on the winning boat a week prior to ment of rowing at Imperial College.
score after score. On the few occasions Sheffield Hallam. IC sadly denied the the benefit of doubt, they ran out into Mentalist Maze... DIY puzzles corner- go mental when Bedford did manage to break opportunity to Run New York then. a strong lead. IC never gave up though ICUGFC in Birmingham into the IC defence there were stopped The return of Donnacha Kirk and Noel and did snatch a goal in the closing Mentalist Maze has returned and is new feature... but to be honest who in their tracks by O’Hare and Stranney; Ryan to our ranks visibly lifted the minutes. Too little too late though, as the easiest five points that you can wouldn’t? I am the Puzzles Supremeo, Continuing from back page ing the Rennes playmaker out of the McMullen and Lavery allowing noth- team and with a newly strengthened Sheffield had done enough earlier. It get. Well doen to last week’s winners, follow me to a world of fun and game, IC opened their account with a ing through to trouble the keeper. Our defence, McMullen was moved into was a disappointed IC team that left Shotgun who seem to quite like my games. Check it. matches before taking the field again point from Lavery on the left wing. IC best and most satisfying match of the half forward and Haugh remained in the field but with a respectable score themselves. It was becoming clear that added a few more scores with Conor weekend 4-07 to 0-03. Justice. nets. Immediately Sheffield were keen line of 1-05 to 2-07 against a strong Nottingham would be the team to beat Taylor prolific himself and once again With daylight waning our final match to play a physical game, with some au- Sheffield team who did go on to win this afternoon with Bedford closely combining well with the full forward was against a respectable Nottingham dacious fouls which should’ve seen the the tournament. following. Abertay rarely threatened O’Neill. Despite holding the ascend- team who were eager to beat us to top- referee reach for his cards on at least IC have a lot of positives to take and Rennes seemed to be there main- ancy IC were not allowed to settle in ping the group. With qualification al- five occasions, O’Hare bearing the from the weekend, and eagerly await ly for the steam. Commendations to the second half and Rennes with some ready guaranteed at Bedford’s expense brunt of this ill tempered exchange – the same Championships next year. A them though for fielding, the pres- good fielding and fitness managed IC took their foot off the pedal and clearly one of Sheffield’s main threats. great weekend of football was had with ence of a French team (in this their another goal and would’ve had more rested Jimmy Haugh in nets. Notting- Played on a soft pitch with legs al- a strong team ethic and some fantastic 2nd year competing), alongside IC in were it not for some fine shot stopping ham took first blood and went in at the ready heavy from yesterday’s four individual performances. Man of the our first year with further rumours of by Chris Farrell. Full time score 2-07 to half time break with a two point lead. matches IC were a wearied team. Our tournament went to Edward O’Hare LSE and UWE joining next year seem 2-00. The second half saw IC regain the forwards who had dominated the day who commanded the half back line to be pointing to a second renaissance The third group match was against ri- impetus and decide they wanted to go before were tested a lot more by the like it were his own and was respon- in GAA and perhaps a ULU League in vals Bedford. The humbling defeat en- unbeaten on Saturday. Four well taken opposing defence and chances that sible for keeping IC’s conceded scores the near future. All part of Michael Cu- dured at Fortress Harlington was fresh points without reply took us into the should have been converted were to the minimum of all teams in the sack’s vision no doubt… in many minds and IC took to the field lead which was held on to in a fast missed, whilst defending was at times tournament. Our complacency regarding Rennes to demonstrate some Darwinism and paced and physical closing ten min- slack, allowing Sheffield’s pacey corner IC Gaelic Football has come through was soon to be shaken off in our sec- pain. This was to be our finest match utes, including a spectacular double forwards the opportunity to score. it’s maiden season with flying colours; ond match, when the French visitors of the tournament; the team held its save by Haugh in nets when Notting- At half time we were down but not respectable League performances, against all expectations snatched a shape perfectly and there were flashes ham had broken through. out, one point being the difference in a club members McCann and Gallagher goal in the first minute. Frank O’Neill’s of inter county standard football par- Sunday came and we were on the low scoring half. We drew level straight being called up to the national side inimitable match analysis pointed to- ticularly by Haugh, O’Shea, McCann road again. New York, as another guest after the restart but in the next ten and reaching the semi-finals in the wards a distinct player who would need and again Taylor. Supreme fielding saw entry, had actually managed to top the minutes Sheffield piled on the pres- UK Championships point to a bright to be marked out of the game - enter IC win every midfield battle, supplying other group so they would be playing sure, helped by a large amount of cyni- future for the club. Gaelic Football is Pat McMullen. With McMullen keep- an untiring forward five who added Nottingham whilst we were due to play cal fouling and the referee giving them here to stay. 40 felix Friday 20 January 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 41 Sport [email protected] Sport [email protected]
medical field so I can make arguments Firstly why so many clubs and group of mates with a focus or it was for both. I’m looking forward to a very societies and secondly why the a pie-in-the-sky idea on a Friday night A chin-wag with interesting game and I’m going to be difference in funding between that was followed through by the more ICURFC ruthless about judging the quality of them? eccentric member of College. the rugby. Although I agree with the Rector the rector In terms of job prospects there is the that ‘it is nice that there is so much continue Jack Cornish & Now, for our take on the matters argument that some positions of au- diversity’ there is a certain amount Mustapher Botchway raised... thority within the union are worth of favouritism. Simply on a monetary run of form Sports Editors more than others, even the Rector basis I can tell you that per head, the Varsity, sports, Clubs and Socie- agreed asking for the need of a ‘cost/ subsidy given by the union can range ties – where do they fit in on the benefit assessment’. from hundreds of pounds to a measly before Varsity IC agenda? As diverse an environment Imperial few, and it doesn’t stop there. ell, we managed to Rector: I can’t make that judgement. College is, we do not need a society for Some clubs go on to receive Col- Continuing from back page strong arm Nedić I’d have to part of student community Officially, “Imperial provides world each food group and we do not need six lege funding as well! So why this into providing us I think. Though you should review it class scholarship, education and re- hockey clubs. Correct me if I’m wrong, favouritism? off an impeccable midfield move off with an excerpt of every now and again, see how many search in science, engineering, man- but with minimal investigation it can Well firstly, as a long running top UK a scrum initiated by O’Mahoney and his interview with members they have, what they contrib- agement and medicine.” be suggested that the view of ‘any club World university, having decent sports carried on by wing Joe Harris and ea- our esteemed rector, Sir Roy Ander- ute to College life. It’s like any business So where does sport fit in? For that goes’ is being taken to the extreme. clubs and facilities is important for the ger beaver/flanker Nick Johnstone. Wson. Lo and behold: environment where you do a cost/ben- matter, where do all the clubs and so- The process could be described as reputation of the institution. Then the guests decided that they efit assessment. cieties fit in? so: ‘Join me if you want, put twenty Secondly, in recent years university didn’t want to totally humiliate them- felix: You recently said that all Personally, and I know this is the case names on a piece of paper and we are league tables have started to take into selves and looked likely to score, too, departments across the university felix: Seeing as you were such a for a lot of students at Imperial, the away’. ‘If we convince them [New Clubs account the sporting prowess of the in- but their #7’s solo effort was stopped will be experiencing a 5% cut in keen rugby player when you were extra-curricular student activities are a Committee] that what we want to do is stitution, hence the formation of Sport 20m in front of the IC try line by a their budget. Many are worried a student here, who do you think well needed relief from the day to day worthwhile then we are away, funding Imperial whose aim is to “promote and breathtaking tackle from Joe Brown. It that the cut will affect clubs and will win at this years Varsity? stresses of labs, exams and lectures. and all. All we need now is a name!’ enhance the performance and par- was obvious that this run was a one-off societies at Imperial whilst others Rector: Terribly difficult decision to Moreover, with job prospects as they My other issue that I mentioned in ticipation in student sport across the and Cardiff didn’t want to push their argue that this wouldn’t be so make. I played six years for Imperial are the added line in your CV noting passing is that some clubs and socie- College in a safe environment through luck too much so they settled on us- much of a problem if we didn’t College 1sts and we had a fixture list your involvement in give-a-shit soc ties valued more than others. professionalism, relevant adminis- ing their forwards to cross the Impe- Strength and determination is key in the scrum. That plus bottle will be required for the JPR Williams Cup have so many. Do you think there that was much better than the medical may just swing the employer your way. Maybe I have answered this in my trative support systems and advice” rial line. After Freddie Chalke made a is such a thing as too many clubs hospitals. On the other hand I worked So what am I getting at? Well there previous paragraph – some clubs are and essentially improve facilities and cheeky escape off the pitch with an in- or societies? most recently at St. Mary’s in the bio- are two things: merely there because they provide a standards of teams. jury, they finally managed to push one ning their replacement winger while up with a great individual try after 38-7 but had to acknowledge that IC’s who didn’t hesitate a second in saying of their props over but this didn’t stop replacement centre Adam Foley (from handing off numerous fellow Welsh- superiority in the back-three was a lot that the whole pack’s performance was the hosts from getting right back into Cardiff) got a bit homesick. That re- men before powering over the try line more important today than just kick- amazing on this memorable day at For- their faces. sulted in an unbearable urge to join his just next to the right corner flag. Alex ing balls off a tee - they can even kick tress Harlington. Joe Brown finished off another great “comrades” in their try area. It was no Johnstone finished the game in style out of hands which resulted in man of All is set for a massive Varsity tie next backline run on the left wing by skin- surprise then that the Exfoliator came by converting from far right to make it the match for fullback Max Joachim week. Who would want to miss that?
Floorball perform well in 1st leg of Varsity Cup photo by ian gillett Jay Zhongjie Chen Imperial closed down every opening took but was saved. Then, Hocks came of substitutes, came at us in full swing. fence proved an impenetrable wall. and denied Warwick for much of the tantalisingly close after working some The Notts players were far more As predicted, the goals came. One, Last Sunday, nine brave men from the first half. However, rapidly tiring from magic in the box. At the final whistle, physical than we expected, but com- then two and with just five minutes to Imperial College Union Floorball Club our lack of substitutes (just three com- the score was bordering respectable, plaints to the referee fell on deaf ears. spare we scored the equaliser! battled on the courts of Bath Univer- pared to their seven), we eventually at 0-5. By the end of the first half, Notts had Final score: 3-3. sity. The inaugural Varsity Cup, involv- conceded and ended the half at 0-3. Buoyed by the otherwise decent re- taken advantage of our battered bod- It wasn’t the ideal result, but we took ing ten teams from six universities, During the break, the team decided sults thus far, we were ready to show ies and crashed in 3 goals. Even so, pride in working closely as a team with was the first ever competition for the we had nothing to lose and should Nottingham what we were made of. the team knew one truth - we were determination and spirit. The Varsity newly formed club and they were ready press home the attack. With all guns The match was scheduled to be the the better team technically. ‘Just keep This was the first of three legs of the Rival to draw first blood. blazing we took the game to the oppo- final fixture of the day. However, Team calm and play our game. The goals will Cup and hopefully, we have shown the The first match of the day was a sition in the second half. Imperial were starting to show signs come.’ We told ourselves. other universities that we are a force to friendly with the Great Britain Youth Pressure from our forwards earned of fatigue from the lack of said substi- The second half started brightly for be reckoned with in the remaining legs Team. Things started off brightly with us a rare penalty which Stepan valiantly tutes. Nottingham, with an abundance us, steeled for the battering our de- to take place next month. our strikers quickly establishing a 2-0 lead. The kids clawed back to draw Varsity. level at 2-2, before Hocks stamped our 2009 authority with a goal to make it 3-2 at the end of the first half. Next week. However, things went south from Fixture List: there when Gabriel suffered a shoulder dislocation from the over-enthusiastic play of our youthful opponents. With a Watch out for comprehensive Ethos (from Midday) vital man down for that match, we lost 3-7. An after-action review resulted in coverage of the day in The Rival. Badminton a reshuffle of positions. Men’s 1st & 2nd team squads The team had too many forwards, and no one to defend. Bravely, captain Basketball Jay, vice-captain Abiel and all-round Coming soon Men’s and Women’s 1st team squads maestro Stepan volunteered to take up defensive duties.Skilled and de- Netball pendable hockey-converts Gabriel and Women’s 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th team squads Amrik masterminded the centre, while natural poachers Hocks, Ben L and Water Polo Ben G would net the goals. Mixed 1st team squads Our next match was against Bourne- mouth’s 2nd Team and this would count towards the Cup standings. Af- Harlington (from Midday) ter the shake-up, our defensive line held strong and our opposition had Football nary a sniff of goal, with goalkeeper Men’s 1st and 2nd team squads Tomy caught relaxing by the keen eyed spectators. Hockey At the other end of the court, Hocks Men’s and Women’s 1st and 2nd team squads delivered with a goal smashed in from close range. Half-time score 1-0. Hav- Lacrosse ing settled into our new roles, floods Mixed 1st team squads of goals came streaming in during the second half. Ben L, Ben G, Hocks, Am- Rugby rik, Stepan and Jay all claimed goals to Men’s 2nd, 3rd & 4th team squads seal an emphatic 8-0 victory. What a Women’s 1st team squad (Rugby 7s) squads way to mark the competitive debut for ICU Floorball! The second match would be tough, Richmond Athletic Stadium (19.30) with Warwick’s 1st Team who were de- molishing all opposition left right and centre. Right from the starting whistle JPR Williams Cup it was clear our opponents were a su- Imperial College Men’s 1st XV vs Imperial Medicals Men’s 1st XV perior team that trained together far longer than we did. Team Imperial’s 9 brave men delighted with the biggest win of the day 42 felix Friday 20 February 2009 Friday 20 February 2009 felix 43 Sport [email protected] [email protected] Sport Retain your Bottle RSM and College may Volleyball qualify for Sheffield Sports league Imperial began to impose themselves In the third set, a few unforced errors Volleyball on the opposition with some heavy hits crept into the Imperial game and Ex- Team P W D L F A Diff % FI return with the JPR Williams Cup next week Imperial Women’s 1st XI 3 and tight defence. An excellent serv- eter started somewhat of a fight back. Exeter Women’s 1st XI 0 ing run by playmaker Ashly Devon At one point the opposition were 19- 1 Squash Men's 1st 11 11 0 0 49 6 43 100 5.00 Game on. It truly is... A week of passionate sport and long lived traditions starts here in felix as 25 February Black raced Imperial into an unassail- 15 ahead. 2 Tennis Men's 1st 9 9 0 0 78 12 66 100 5.00 able lead and they ran out 25-18 win- Time-outs called by Head Coach 3 Fencing Men's 1st 8 8 0 0 1069 624 445 100 5.00 2009, Varsity approaches. First off however, a brief introduction to The Bottle match. ners. Defensive specialist Regina Zoby BALSAMO gave the team a chance 4 Volleyball Women's 1st 8 8 0 0 17 1 16 100 5.00 Emanuel Balsamo showed Brazilian class with a flawless to regroup and begin their own trade- 5 Lacrosse Women's 1st 10 9 0 1 153 34 119 90 4.10 passing game. mark comeback. They fought their way 6 Netball 2nd 9 8 0 1 329 157 172 89 4.00 Timothy Chalk keeps the Bottle. Wednesday 11th February saw the Imperial now had the upper hand back into the decisive set with some 7 Fencing Women's 1st 9 8 0 1 1188 942 246 89 4.00 This year the RSM are fielding 77 Imperial College women’s Volleyball and it was imperative that they car- real hustle. 8 Hockey Men's 1st 9 8 0 1 51 11 40 89 4.00 Now in its 107th year, the annual Bot- athletes playing golf, squash, Hhckey Team qualify for the final 8s at the ried the same intensity and level of First year Jen Smith produced some 9 ICSM Badminton Men's 1st 6 5 0 1 28 20 8 83 3.50 tle Match between the Royal School of (men’s and women’s), football and BUCS Championships after defeating performance into the second set. They crucial winners and overall had im- 10 Badminton Men's 1st 10 7 2 1 52 28 24 70 3.50 Mines (RSM) of Imperial College and men’s rugby. Exeter University in the last sixteen did, and produced an emphatic set of pressive hitting stats, using the ball in- 11 Table Tennis Men's 1st 12 9 0 3 133 68 65 75 2.75 the Camborne School of Mines (CSM) The competition will be at home this playoff, 3-0 (25-18, 25-8, 25-23). volleyball winning 25-8. telligently every time. 12 ICSM Netball 3rd 8 6 0 2 253 171 82 75 2.75 of the University of Exeter is the sec- year, starting today (Friday 20 Febru- Having won the Southern Confer- French phD student Amelie Seguret Imperial edged it 25-23 to complete 13 Squash Men's 2nd 8 6 0 2 25 13 12 75 2.75 ond oldest varsity match in the world. ary) with an afternoon of golf out at ence 1A convincingly, the side were was in scintillating form, demonstrat- an impressive and historic victory. 14 ICSM Netball 2nd 7 5 0 2 231 131 100 71 2.43 The link between RSM and CSM is Trent Park, followed by squash, which drawn to play at Ethos and took full ing a great range of attacks from strong With BUCS volleyball giants Lough- 15 ICSM Hockey Women's 1st 11 6 1 3 47 26 21 55 1.82 thought to have formed in the 1850- starts at 7.30pm in Ethos. advantage. hits to deft drop shots. First year Linda borough sensationally knocked out by 16 Basketball Women's 1st 8 5 0 3 387 345 42 63 1.63 1870’s when the two schools were es- It’s an early start at Harlington on Inspirational captain Alana Johnson Vaccari was also impressive as middle Dundee University, the finals in Shef- 17 Hockey Men's 3rd 8 3 3 2 16 25 -9 38 1.63 tablished and became the two premier tomorrow for the hockey players with passed a late fitness test on her elbow hitter, showing great determination field are wide open and Imperial will 18 Hockey Women's 1st 11 6 1 4 38 28 10 55 1.45 mining schools in the country, and in- the ladies match at 9.00am. to lead the attack line. The first set was and immense blocking ability. More be challenging for the prestigious title. 19 Hockey Men's 2nd 10 6 0 4 37 30 7 60 1.40 deed the world. This is followed by back to back tight up until the midway point, with serving pressure from Barbara Kisko- The other qualifying universities are 20 Squash Men's 3rd 7 4 0 3 14 9 5 57 1.14 The first recorded RSM vs CSM men’s hockey and football and then fi- both teams exchanging point after vski saw Exeter fail to reach double Bath, Birmingham, Durham, Leeds, 21 Basketball Men's 1st 7 4 0 3 496 474 22 57 1.14 rugby match was played on the 16th nally, at 2pm, the all important rugby point. figures. Manchester and Oxford. 22 Badminton Women's 1st 12 6 1 5 57 39 18 50 1.00 December 1902 and though it was de- match! 23 Badminton Men's 2nd 6 2 2 2 24 24 0 33 1.00 scribed as an honourable draw, we are After showers it is back to South 24 Squash Women's 1st 11 2 6 3 20 28 -8 18 0.91 unsure of the score. Kensington for the Players’ Dinner and 25 ICSM Hockey Women's 2nd 7 3 1 3 21 21 0 43 0.71 Since then the match has taken place the always-entertainig awards ceremo- 26 Tennis Men's 2nd 9 4 1 4 35 46 -11 44 0.67 every year, and was named the Bottle ny in dB’s from 9.00pm. 27 ICSM Football Men's 1st 9 4 1 4 15 20 -5 44 0.67 Match in 1946 when some RSM stu- The Bottle Match has, and always 28 Football Men's 1st 9 4 1 4 19 20 -1 44 0.67 dents procured a 3 ft beer bottle from will be, the main annual event for the 29 Rugby Union Men's 3rd 10 5 0 5 192 192 0 50 0.50 a Bass lorry and this was made the RSM because of its tradition and the 30 ICSM Rugby Union Men's 2nd 10 5 0 5 158 143 15 50 0.50 trophy. passion that surrounds it. 31 Fencing Men's 2nd 6 3 0 3 722 690 32 50 0.50 It was adorned with the crests of the This year, not only do we have the 32 Rugby Union Men's 2nd 13 6 0 7 231 286 -55 46 0.15 two schools, one on each side, and is largest pool of players from which our 33 Football Men's 2nd 8 3 1 4 19 27 -8 38 0.13 currently displayed in the Union bar as captains have been able to pick from, 34 Hockey Men's 4th 6 2 1 3 13 22 -9 33 0.00 the RSM were victorious in 2008. but also the most supporters we have 35 Tennis Women's 1st 10 4 0 6 44 56 -12 40 -0.40 Of the recorded matches, RSM have ever had by a long way! 36 Volleyball Men's 1st 8 3 0 5 7 10 -3 38 -0.63 won the rugby 39 times, CSM 33 times, Everyone is now ready to smash 37 ICSM Rugby Union Men's 3rd 9 3 0 6 105 241 -136 33 -1.00 and there have been six draws. Camborne apart and we plan to make 38 Football Women's 1st 7 2 0 5 10 25 -15 29 -1.43 In the case of a draw, the winning this trip to London one they’d rather 39 Hockey Women's 2nd 8 2 0 6 8 32 -24 25 -1.75 team from the previous years match Will RSM return back to dominance on Saturday? They have won 10 of the last 11 encounters forget! Watch this space… 40 ICSM Rugby Union Men's 1st 13 3 0 10 236 394 -158 23 -1.92 41 ICSM Netball 1st 13 2 1 10 314 497 -183 15 -2.15 42 ICSM Hockey Men's 2nd 10 2 0 8 15 18 -3 20 -2.20 43 ICSM Football Men's 2nd 5 1 0 4 7 16 -9 20 -2.20 in association with Sports Partnership 44 Football Men's 3rd 6 1 0 5 11 25 -14 17 -2.50 Fixtures & Results 45 Rugby Union Men's 1st 13 2 0 11 158 423 -265 15 -2.62 46 ICSM Hockey Men's 1st 7 1 0 6 12 23 -11 14 -2.71 Saturday 14th February Monday 16th February Men’s 4th 1 Table Tennis Squash 47 Lacrosse Men's 1st 8 1 0 7 40 114 -74 13 -2.88 Football Squash Brunel University 3rd 2 BUCS Cup ULU Cup 48 Netball 3rd 8 1 0 7 86 284 -198 13 -2.88 Men’s 1s ULU 2 ULU Cup Men’s 1st 9 Women’s 1s ULU vs RUMS 1s ULU 49 Rugby Union Men's 4th 10 1 0 9 95 421 -326 10 -3.10 LSE 3s ULU 2 Men’s 3s 5 Women’s 1st 1 Bournemouth University 1st 5 50 ICSM Badminton Women's 1st 11 0 1 10 11 78 -67 0 -3.45 LSE 3s 0 University of Chichester 1st 6 Water Polo 51 Rugby Union Women's 1st 1 0 0 1 0 80 -80 0 -4.00 Men’s 2s ULU 2 Tennis Mixed 1s ULU vs UCL Mixed 1s ULU 52 Table Tennis Women's 1st 4 0 0 4 3 12 -9 0 -4.00 LSE 2s ULU 1 Wednesday 18th February Women’s 2nd 0 Men’s 2nd 0 53 ICSM Hockey Women's 3rd 5 0 0 5 3 32 -29 0 -4.00 Badminton Royal Holloway 2nd 11 Brunel University 1st 10 Wednesday 25th February 54 ICSM Hockey Men's 3rd 5 0 0 5 0 15 -15 0 -4.00 Men’s 3s ULU 1 BUCS Cup Fencing Alana and her charges prepare for another well rehearsed move 55 Netball 1st 8 0 0 8 162 306 -144 0 -4.00 King’s 3s ULU 0 Women’s 1st 3 Lacrosse BUCS Cup BUCS Cup Bournemouth University 1st 5 BUCS Cup Women’s 1st 5 Men’s 1st vs Northumbria University 1st Men’s 5s ULU 3 Men’s 1st 0 University of Gloucestershire 1st 5 Women’s 1st vs University of Cambridge 1st Queen Mary 3s ULU 2 Basketball University of Birmingham 1st 21 (Gloucestershire win on tie-break shoot out) Crossword No. 1,425 Answers to: [email protected] Men’s 1st 64 Football Men’s 7s ULU 0 University of Kent 1st 62 Women’s 1st 14 Volleyball Men’s 3s ULU vs King’s College 1s ULU 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Royal Veterinary College 2s ULU 1 Swansea University 1st 3 Women’s 2nd 0 Across rency. (6) 19 Speak in support of cad, veto a Women’s 1st 61 University of Essex 1st 3 Hockey 30 Expecting nutritious starter with punishment. (8) ULU Cup University of Surrey 1st 36 Netball Men’s 3rd vs Royal Holloway 2nd 1 Variation of Maoist philosophy? (6) mashed grape and hollow nut. (8) 21 Provincial type reportedly stands Men’s 4s 4 Women’s 1st 23 Saturday 21st February Men’s 4th vs University of Portsmouth 4th 9 10 4 Sit atop wayward missiles led astray. 31 Ace begins to release relative. (6) on vessel, making involuntary Queen Mary 2s 3 Football RUMS 1st 35 Football (8) spasm. (6) Men’s 1st 3 Men’s 1s ULU vs Royal Holloway 2s ULU Squash 11 9 Book describes Piaf’s regret in the Down 22 Grouchy church informant. (6) Sunday 15th February St Mary’s University College 3rd 0 Women’s 2nd 23 Men’s 2s ULU vs Queen Mary 1s ULU BUCS Cup East. (6) 26 Harsh average. (4) Hockey Brunel University 5th 22 Men’s 3s ULU vs UCL 3s ULU Men’s 1st vs University of Birmingham 1st 12 12 13 15 14 10 His extremities cut off, Titus is 1 Hot, bothered, coarse and exhaus- 27 Chaps you heard detailing prices. Men’s 2s ULU 1 Men’s 2nd 1 Men’s 7s ULU vs St George’s 3s ULU Women’s 1st vs LSE 1st mutilated with Roman mythical tive. (8) (4) Royal Veterinary College 1s ULU 1 UCL 2nd 1 Women’s 3rd 13 ULU Cup 15 14 16 beast. (8) 2 With king absent, reshot movie kiss Roehampton University 2nd 44 Men’s 4s vs King’s College 2s Table Tennis 12 Expel French writer – his first two is lacking something. (8) ULU Cup Men’s 3rd 3 Men’s 5s vs King’s College 4s BUCS Cup 17 must go. (4) 3 Pour liquids in it, but it makes a bad Men’s 1s 4 Canterbury Christ Church Uni 7th 0 Rugby Men’s 1st vs Cardiff University 1st 13 A reverberation is heard by grand smell if you put tea in it. (4) UCL 1s 4 (a.e.t) Men’s 1st 38 Sunday 22nd February 18 19 reptile. (5) 5 Not easily offended – might Dick- (UCL win 4 - 3 on penalty flicks) Men’s 6s ULU 2 Cardiff University 1st 7 Lacrosse Tennis 14 Almost eccentric criticism. (4) ens think badly? (5-7) Solution to crossword 1423 RUMS 4s ULU 1 Mixed 1s ULU vs UCL Mixed 1s ULU BUCS Cup 17 Care to present a simian with 6 With the end missing, a large book 20 S Q U E A M I S H S P E E D Men’s 2nd 11 Men’s 1st vs UCL 3rd Lacrosse snake’s head. (4,1,7) can’t be made any smaller. (4) C E R E B G A T O T R T Q E ULU Cup Men’s 7s ULU 2 Royal Veterinary College 1st 10 Rugby Men’s 2nd vs London Metropolitan University 3rd 21 22 20 Knowing a great deal, we left Chris- 7 With sailor on board, payment can A N A G R A M P N E A T E S T Mixed 1s 11 St Barts 4s ULU 2 Women’s 1s ULU vs King’s College 1s ULU tie (without finishing) by the sea. be achieved. (6) R A N A A E B E A B O R I E Royal Holloway Mixed 2s 3 Men’s 3rd 19 Volleyball 23 26 24 25 (4-8) 8 I’ve got it: ignore monsieur and F L I M S Y P E Y E L I N E R Hockey King’s College 2nd 6 Monday 23rd February BUCS Cup 23 I trick idol. (4) build French road the other way O B U E I C B A C E E O A E R Rugby Men’s 1st 6 Basketball Men’s 1st vs Oxford Brookes University 1st 26 27 32 24 Look around empty vehicle for around. (6) C O M M O N R O O M E B L U E ULU Cup St Barts 1st 0 Men’s 4th 0 Men’s 1s ULU vs SOAS 1s ULU Women’s 2nd vs King’s College 1st rocks. (5) 11 Memory about a philatelist’s pride. O H E O N E O M O T A N N N Men’s 3s 19 St George’s 2nd 28 Men’s 2s ULU vs UCL 2s ULU N E R D A L A M B H O T P O T 28 29 25 Presenter has love in his heart but (12) Royal Holloway 2s 12 Men’s 2nd 2 no score finally in combat arena. 15 After Cain’s head, Abel is trans- C N A O U O D O E Y R S I I R University of East London 1st 6 L A M P P O S T M S T O R M S Squash Netball 34 (4) formed into another Bible charac- BUCS Cup Women’s 1s ULU vs LSE 1s ULU 28 In a new interpretation, I do Lear ter. (5) U N P H R N W A N I R A H L Men’s 3rd 0 Women’s 1st 3 Women’s 3s ULU vs LSE 7s ULU with another character, his daugh- 16 Regular boy or corny poet? (5) D I A B O L O T P O L E N T A 30 31 E V N K A R H E F L I H C T Royal Veterinary College 1st 0 University of Exeter 1st 1 ter. (8) 18 Arrogant Italian has two thousand E 29 Coin ‘e put before a defunct cur- songs. (8) D E T E R D I S P A R A G Send in your sport reports: [email protected] felix sport High resolution photos only ICUGFC make
1/2-finalsGaelic football produce a respectable performance in their first season.
Andrew Lavery from Rennes and from our first fixture in October - Bedford. Last weekend ICUGFC competed in The basic line began with Chris Far- our first British Universities Gaelic rell in nets, playing behind Pat McMul- Football Championship. Getting to len and Andrew Lavery in the full back Birmingham to compete though was line. Edward O’Hare was marshalling not going to be easy. Unfortunately the half back line with Fergal Stran- due to the snow the week previous, the ney and Tom McFadden on either side. tournament was postponed from their Finian McCann as usual was in mid- original date with the result that many field playing alongside Niall O’Shea. teams (including Southern rivals Ox- Our prolific half forward line was ford and Cambridge) were unable to James Haugh, Conor Taylor and Paddy field at such short notice – the Gaelic Heugh with Frank O’Neill and Stephen playing boys of IC were not going to Gallagher up front. It was a strong line quit though. out with an experienced central spine In the dark of early morn, on Satur- with very proficient draftees brought day we gathered at the Union, it was in to replace our missing players, spe- a much-depleted IC team that were cial mention to rugby’s McFadden who making the journey but the atmos- came in at late notice and had a fault- phere was buoyant and every man less day at left half back. there was in anticipation of the battles Our first match featured Abertay, that lay ahead, our man from Galway a team that in 2001 had actually won perhaps more so… Gaelic football’s top-flight competi- The format of the compeition was tion for British Universities. They were for four 30 minute matches for each however were a shadow of their former team to be played in a group stage glory and although IC were sluggish to that would see the top two qualifying start we ran out comfortable winners for the semi-finals the following day. with a score line of 3-04 to 0-01. Those unlucky enough to be drawn IC watched the next two group in the ruinous IC group were: Aber- tay, Nottingham, a guest French entry Continued on page 39 1st XV shear Baahdiff commenting the game he decided that the first half a lot better which meant Rugby there was no point to give any favours that Flannan O’Mahoney, actually a to the visitors. The game was all in IC’s wolf in sheep’s clothing, stole yet an- Imperial College 1st XV 38 hands and after a few kicks from their other Cardiff lineout after a kick deep Cardiff University 1st XV 7 sheepish 10 which were promptly re- into their half from the Imperial back- turned by the Imperial backs, the hosts three. A few phases later, prop Joe started to play some fabulous rugby Saunders found himself in the middle Max Joachim which pinned Cardiff in their own 22. of the IC back-line so once he realised A few chances to score were blown that running sideways is not what you The final match before Varsity was but then the outstanding fly-half Joe do in rugby, he gave the ball to fullback upon us and who better to play than Brown decided to take matters into Max Joachim who, still influenced by Cardiff University in order to prepare his own hands by seeing off the guests’ the 2009 Super Bowl, dummied a quar- for the Medic scum? Everything went pathetic excuse for a back-line before terback pass to the wing only to find according to plan before the game with scoring in the right corner. Alex John- himself a clear line towards the Cardiff the Welsh being confused by the in- stone missed the conversion. In de- try line. This time, Johnstone wanted conceivable shortage of sheep on the fence, Imperial was sound and could to put his name on the score sheet, too, road, which meant that one of their work well around the rucks whilst the to make it 17-0 at half-time. minibuses, got lost. They made it to backs made some great runs off turno- The second half started slowly but Fortress Harlington in the end and ver balls. One of them could only be some aggressive defensive work by Im- didn’t know what hit them when the stopped deep in the Cardiff half. Some perial’s back row and centres produced first whistle sounded. quick hands towards the left touchline a fair number of turnover balls which Even the referee immediately rec- saw fresher Jack Newton touch down were eventually put into points when ognised that there would only be one for a try in the corner. 10-0 wasn’t good scrum-half Freddie Chalke finished team dominating this pitch today. So enough for the hosts, though, who de- while refereeing and, even more so, cided that a larger result would reflect Continued on page 41