01 Beth Kelly ...... pg. 03 Carrie Napora ...... Pg. 05 Celestial Bennett ...... Pg. 07 Charity Howell ...... Pg. 09 Charlene Lund Koontz...... Pg. 11 Cheryl Lund ...... Pg. 13 Cindy Sexton ...... Pg. 15 Courtney Lowery ...... Pg. 17 Crystal Mayes ...... Pg. 19 Deborah Hill ...... Pg. 21 Dotty Hill ...... Pg. 23 Elisha Biland ...... Pg. 25 Heather Lawler ...... Pg. 27 Jean Henderson ...... Pg. 29 Josie Bapst ...... Pg. 31 Joy Duffy ...... Pg. 33 Katie Spreacker ...... Pg. 35 Kay Hardway ...... Pg. 37 Kristen Mershon ...... Pg. 39 Lacie Skeen ...... Pg. 41 Linda Chapman ...... Pg. 43 Manju Sharma ...... Pg. 45 Marisa Sanders ...... Pg. 47 Marlene Newsome ...... Pg. 49 Mary Lou Adams...... Pg. 51 Melinda Norman ...... Pg. 53 Natasha Sommer-Smith ...... Pg. 55 Norma Ellcessor ...... Pg. 57 Patricia Rawlinson ...... Pg. 59 Rachel Hendricks Jones ...... Pg. 61 Rachel Newberry ...... Pg. 63 Rette Carmichael ...... Pg. 65 Robin Fowler ...... Pg. 67 Sandra Williams ...... Pg. 69 Sara Evans Moore ...... Pg. 71 Shayna Chapman ...... Pg. 73 Sherry Gordon ...... Pg. 75 Starr Woodall ...... Pg. 77 Susan Eastman ...... Pg. 79 Theresa Drenner ...... Pg. 81 ABOUT THE PROJECT
Women over 40 are beautiful. They are wise. They are strong. And although they are more than worthy of celebrating, they often go overlooked by today’s media. This project seeks to help change that; to help change the way we define and look at aging. The goal of this project is to inspire and empower women of all ages. Over the past year 40 women were selected, photographed and interviewed. Each shared their stories, their inspirations and their advice to their younger selves. Today we celebrate them.
THE 40/40 PROJECT BY JESSICA MALONE 01
BETH KELLY, 47
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Without a moment of doubt, I can say my mother. She has shown me that as a woman no mat- ter the path you are walking or where the Universe is guiding you be proud, confidant, and never cheat yourself out of an opportunity to laugh. And confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear and have within her power.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Prior to being widowed, I would always think someday I will tackle this project, write, finish my degree, take that trip or buy a bottle of Chanel No. 5. Then my someday happened. The Universe called and said, “Beth you need to live a life, don’t hide, spread your beautiful wings and fly.” Amazingly the Universe also sounds a great deal like my mother :)
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? At twenty I wanted nothing more than to blend into the crowd. Being an observer rather than being seen by the world. Beige was the color I wore daily. At forty-eight, I can proudly say beige is a word that is not in my vocabulary or a shade found in my closet. I encase my body in vibrant colors that sing the song that reflects the person that I have proudly become. No longer do I sit back and observe, now I join and sing loudly and proudly.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Be kind to yourself. It is absolutely okay that you are weird. Embrace that weirdness for it will be the thing that sets you apart from the rest of the crowd.
THE 40/40 PROJECT BY JESSICA MALONE 03
CARRIE NAPORA, 45
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My family has always, and continues to, inspire me every day. My parents took the utmost care and sincerity in raising my sister and I, being excellent role models while providing discipline, support and love that helped mold us into independent, intelligent and caring adults.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Moving to Gallia County in 2004, I was figuring out what it meant to be a mother, a wife and financial provider for the family. It was not what I naively envisioned my adult life to be, but I have realized in my 40+ years in life that your heart should never speak louder than your innate wisdom. My crystallizing experiences have been unfortunate and heartbreaking, but full of truths and lessons for growth that I continue to learn from. And while the monumental titles listed above will always be held by my stubborn set of shoulders, I have realized I will strive to succeed in anything that I do in life. That truly represents who I am.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I’m a mess to be honest, but what else can you expect from the middle of life? That’s how I see it anyways. I have yet to succeed in proverbially “settling down”, and am fully aware that my choices have determined this fate, but I feel stronger, more independent and grounded than ever before. I wouldn’t change being “older and wiser” for any day in my youth.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
You can achieve far greater things than you could ever imagine right now- dream bigger. Do not assume anyone can give you anything more than what you can provide for yourself. Make sure the love and attention you give is equally returned.
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CELESTIAL BENNETT, 42
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
The strong women who raised me and that I helped raise along with all the women I work and have worked and played alongside throughout my life
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
When I realized that I was capable and deserving and that my successes were my own. Also when I realized that I could give up on my dream and make a new dream/life, that it wasn’t a failure but a step on my path.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Smarter, Stronger, Sexier.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Be kind to yourself and to your body, you are worthy and deserving.
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CHARITY HOWELL, 42
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My inspiration is my mother.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Losing my mother suddenly opened my eyes on what’s important and how short life is.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I have felt drained at times but stable.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Live your life and take chances and never regret things that have taught you important lessons.
THE 40/40 PROJECT BY JESSICA MALONE 09
CHARLENE LUND KOONTZ, 68
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
The universe inspires me… I am thankful that the Universe gives me a new day, a new chance to make my mark in the world.. a new chance at a new beginning.. a new chance to make things right that I may have wronged.. a new breathe of fresh air.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
My horse and my dogs have always reinforced purpose into my life. Since I never had children, they were my purpose in life, They are unable to take care of themselves to they had been given to me to make sure that they were taken care of and loved to the best of my abilities. They gave me purpose.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Mentally and emotionally I feel inside now at 68 as I did at 20. The only difference is now I have matured and the lessions I have learned along the way have helped me to shape to the person I am today. As each new age arrives I become more spiritual and more grounded. I will be in my 80’s… BUT “inside I will always feel “20”.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
The piece of advice I would give 20 year old me is… slow down and think through “all” your decisions. Go one day at a time and don’t overthink, be more rational and make less emotional decisions.
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CHERYL LUND, 71
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Inspiration has always been a catalyst for urging me forward. I am a champion of the “underdog” who, against the odds, achieves their victory. This “can-do spirit” ignites my soul.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
There is not one thing, event or person that has ignited my passion. Instead it is thousands of accidents, some a whisper, others a siren, that have shown me life is short. It took years for me to understand that to just be me is a life well lived.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? At 20 I believed I was immortal and beautiful and could influence the world with my grand knowledge. I am now wiser and deeper and yes, still beautiful!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Stay true to yourself and you will evolve into your passion. I promise.
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CINDY SEXTON, 68
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU? I think I was born inspired! I knew at a very young age what I wanted to do when I grew up. I had my dream, I just didn’t know how I was going to make it happen. Coming from humble beginnings in a large family, going to Cosmetology School would be nearly impossible. But I found a way! I heard about a scholarship program , so I applied by writing an essay stating as to why I felt I deserved to be chosen. Needless to say, I received the help and off I went. My mother always said I was determined, creative and energetic. I graduated top in my class and never looked back. So many people have inspired me along my fifty year journey in the beauty industry. I can’t begin to name them all. My four wonderful sisters have always encouraged me to follow my dream. The precious man I married along with our two daughters have been my greatest supporters and cheerleaders. They inspire me everyday to be my best. I’m very blessed to be able to combine my passion with my career. It’s a wonderfully fun combination. My goal now is to inspire others as I’ve been inspired to follow my dream.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE? I don’t think I really had a moment where I knew things were crystal clear. I’ve always been a strong, determined, competitive person. With my passion and career entwined, it was not unusual for me to work in the salon all day, then read educational materials working toward my next set of credentials. I craved knowledge. We all know knowledge is power in being the best in your profession.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I feel completely open, honest and confident. I’m very happy with my life and have enjoyed my journey. Most people don’t want to lead. They say it’s too much work or it’s too risky. Sure, it’s been a lot of hard work but I have had a great deal of fun along the way. I’m proud of my accomplishments and so glad I followed my dream.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Thoughts are not reality, you have to make them your reality. Look deep within yourself and ask God to guide you. Find your passion and try to build your career around it and you will enjoy your work so much. Yes, you will make mistakes but that’s ok. We all learn from them if we allow ourselves. Surround yourself with positive people. Close your eyes and breathe in the air that hasn’t been touched and know you can make your dream your reality. Keep a journal. Each day is a page in your very long book called Life. Relax, enjoy, and follow your heart!
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COURTNEY LOWERY, 46
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Anyone that has taken the plunge and dared to do their own thing instead of the norm.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
A college professor guided me to jewelry and small scale sculpture, so I went out and found a local jeweler to teach me. I became an apprentice and learned the trade. I worked as a bench jeweler for 15+ years laying the foundation for more creative pursuits and the confidence to tackle and accomplish my dreams.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I feel the same except now I have experience to back me up!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Don’t worry about fitting in. Just be yourself and learn to love yourself.
THE 40/40 PROJECT BY JESSICA MALONE 17
CRYSTAL MAYES, 41
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I am inspired by to many to name. The inspiration comes when I see a successful happy woman. When I say successful, I’m not talking about finances. I see success as happiness, confidence, contentment, and internal peace.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Hitting my “middle aged” years. Lol. Has made me realize I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life. God has put me everywhere he has needed me. I am a nurturer at heart and have worked in health care majority of my life. I love helping people and making people feel good about themselves. I feel like going into permanent makeup industry is a different route me to do just that. Make people happy.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I am more at peace and settled now for sure. I feel like the first half of my life was like a rock climb. Lol. Trying to find where I belong and where I am supposed to be. Who I am suppose to be. Now I realize I am exactly where I am meant to be. Being able to come to terms and accept what and who I am is the biggest peace of mind.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
1. Don’t be so hard on yourself! 2. Relax and enjoy everyday! 3. Happiness is the ultimate riches.
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DEBORAH HILL, 60
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Susan Booth Colley While they all fall in love with her light She waits for the one who will also accept her in darkness....
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I can’t describe just a single event that was a crystalizing experience. However, I can tell you that watching some remarkable, strong women in my family have shaped me into the woman I am today. Seeing how my grandmother, mother and my aunt balanced a career while raising their children has impacted my life in a tremendous way. I have such respect for their mental, physical and intellectual strength. Each one had inspired me to be a better woman. I only hope to lead my daughters and grandchildren in sharing those strengths to be who they are wherever life may take them. Learning from these women has been a blessing for my next venture.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Then: I was knowledgeable I was strong I was brave I was resilient Then I am all the above I am enough…
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
You only have one life Live in the here and now Love every age of your life Life is too short to be worries Learn to live in the moment
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DOTTY HILL, 69
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My children have always been my greatest inspiration. They are all talented, creative and self- motivated. They have an infectious zest for life that has always inspired me to be the best I can be.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I never really knew who I was as an individual until I turned 40 and sought therapy. Through intense therapy I learned who I was and how I became me. That’s when I began to learn to enjoy my own company.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? When I was 20, I was lost. When I turned 40 I began to find myself. Now, at age 69, I’ve acquired the knowledge necessary to understand that life is forever changing and all things as we know them, both good and easy, as well as difficult and devastating, given time, pass.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
1) There are reasons why we are all who we are and why we act and think the way we do. Don’t be quick to judge others because you haven’t a clue what occurred in their lives to make them the way they are. 2) The person you are at age 20... will probably be a totally different person by age 30. In that particular 10 year span your life will lead you down many different paths... your opinions, ideas and interests will change many times before you decide what is right for you and your future. Nothing is carved in stone. Forgive your self for your mistakes and keep moving forward. 3) Don’t sweat the small stuff... it’s all small stuff in the grand scheme of life.
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ELISHA MEADOWS, 44
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I have been fortunate to have many strong women in my life when it comes to family, friends and coworkers. I am most inspired by women who are kind, authentic, strong, open minded, and determined. I am always trying to learn new things and make positive changes. When it comes to my business, my two biggest inspirations were “HOMAGE” and the “Junk Gypsies”. And my cousin, Stacey, who is on a very similar journey. Stacey and her husband, Andy, have a great little shop in St Charles, MO called “Happy Camper”.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Being a small business owner is a dream come true. It is so cool to see people wear t-shirts that I have designed. I love that so many people like to wear the tees that represent where we are from and take pride in their hometown. I enjoy being an active part of our community and being able to give back. My hope is that I inspire someone to follow their dreams or take a chance on doing something they really love. HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I didn’t really feel comfortable in my own skin until I hit 40. I feel like I have learned a lot of things the hard way. I’ve had my heart broken many times over all kinds of different relationships and/ or situations. I now know that you have to guard your heart. I’ve learned that I can only control myself. I think “growing up” takes longer than 18 years. All experiences are valuable in some way. I have more patience now and I have learned to appreciate time. And one of my favorite movie lines is so true - That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Slow down. Appreciate your life and the relationships you have with others. Travel & explore as much as you can. Never stop learning. Write down your experiences and take lots of pictures. Don’t live to work, work to live.
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HEATHER MURPHY, 46
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I have been inspired by many people, often it is when I see my own children over come an obstacle or see a stranger offer a kind gesture. I am inspired by individuals that share their failures and tell how they overcame those decision and continued to succeed. I find inspiration in my daughter’s strong desire to end social injustice or racial inequality, my son inspires me when he assists other children learn to read, and my youngest daughter amazes me when she tries something new and commits to finishing. I am inspired by volunteers that share their time and talent with the hospital. I have been honored to work with many volunteers that are changing the world.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I signed up for a leadership program that paired me with a professional mentor. During this process, my mentor reminded me what is was like to be confident and to believe in myself. She lead me to believe in my current skill set and allowed me to take the steps necessary to excel in my career. She wasn’t just checking the box for us to finish a program, she invested in me and guided me to opportunities. It was a beautiful example of strong women supporting each other and accomplishing goals. She taught me the importance of perspective and gratitude. Everyday, I now share those valuable lessons with others.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Now that I am in my 40s, I feel a little less invincible than I did when I was 20. I know the importance of mindfulness that I didn’t understand as a 20 year old. I have always known that life isn’t fair, but now I realize that I have lived a life that has been fulfilling. Accepting responsibility for your life is a lesson that I am also thankful to have learned as I have aged as well. I don’t think I fully understood that concept at 20, but I am glad that I was naive at 20. Life is all about learning and changing. I like who I was at 20, but I love who I am in my 40s.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
I would tell young 20 year old Heather, not to waste time on being afraid of her ideas. There are important lessons in traveling and you will get there, enjoy the journey and take it all in and celebrate you. I would also offer the advice that being kind is more important than being right. Lastly, I wish I could tell 20 year old me to enjoy the people you love and not to allow other influence to change you.
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JEAN HENDERSON, 79
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I was inspired by the wonderful lady I worked for and lived with for three summers as a teenager and also by all the teachers I worked with over the years, but most of all my mother Ethel Thompson Spinelli Hammonds. She became a window on October 14th, 1941, living in the country near Batavia, Ohio with no running water and the typical “outhouse.” She remarried five years later to my stepfather, Clayton Hammonds, a mechanic who had trouble finding a full-time job, thus we moved a lot (9 times until I graduated from high school). They had seven more children, the last when she was 46. Somewhere around 50 she started her first full time job as a cook at Muskingum College. Nothing in her life was easy except loving children and grandchildren and later on her church. She passed away at 80 of Alzheimer’s disease.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
The reinforcement of my passion in life is being the mother of four, successful and happily married adults with totally awesome children and grandchildren. You might say my passion is loving each one of them beginning with my husband 62 years ago.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Mentally I am so very thankful for all the people that have became a part of who I am. I’m so very blessed!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
My advice to my 20 year old self would be, to be more conscious of my body and realize physical health and fitness are very important.
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JOSIE BAPST, 69
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My dad.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
My parents talked about getting a college degree for my entire childhood and teenage years. They believed in being independent and strong willed. Education was important to them because both had quit school to help support their families.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I feel relaxed. I spend time reading my devotional, praying, and just feeling God’s presence in my life. I’m more satisfied by following the Golden Rule nowadays.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Life is just beginning for you, take a chance, grab the ring, let God do the worrying.
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JOY DUFFY, 43
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My great grandfather was fantastic. I loved him; I could spend summers with him all of the time. My uncle, when I was 10 bought me a disk camera and I would save my money so I could get film developed at like 10 years old. My mom too, she was a very strong lady, who grew up with a lot of obstacles to overcome. She always said just have a good attitude and do what you need to do. I’ve always just been interested at looking at things in a different way.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
The scariest, it’s scary but good scary when I finally got the permanent training position and got to travel to Uruguay. I don’t speak Spanish, they told me to go ahead and book my own flight. And I was like “wait, I’m going to be away from my family for two months, you’re going to pay me to go do my job in a foreign country, and I’m just going to fly on the other side of the earth and everything is going to be fine?” But I got down there and got to my hotel and met the person I was supposed to meet and thought wow “I’m an adult! I’m a professional! I am using my degrees to educate people and it was fabulous. As a kid you dream of the job with international travel and I was really doing it. I was trusted as an adult to fly to the other side of the earth, represent my company and all of our values and instill that kindness in people.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? When I was 20, I was less afraid because I didn’t know how many crazy things could happen. When you’re 20 you don’t have the experience to understand what it’s like when you lose a job and still have all these responsibilities. I was very confident even though I was very dumb, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Now, I am cautious about liking things and about my heart because I don’t want it to get stepped on but I also know you have to take risk to get those rewards. It makes me more confident because I am more careful with my choices. I think really hard about everything, I do because I’ve come so far, and I don’t ever want to go backwards. I know in a heartbeat it could happen. I am really confident that I am weary of being too confident. It seems when you’re too confident someone knocks you down.
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KATHERINE SPREAKER, 44
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I was raised mostly by my grandfather and he inspired me to be better and to always try to be better (never rest on you laurels). He taught me to always be kind and I try to emulate that. Now that I’m older, I’m inspired by People who overcome what seem like impossible circumstances.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I always think back to sitting under a desk, in the mid 80’s , at Rio Grande, while my grandfather taught evening classes as an adjunct professor. I remember thinking that I wanted to be just like that someday. I think it cemented the importance of education for me. Later in life, it would be my children who shaped me and guided my life path, making me who I am today. A mix of the two.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I am so much more like “what will be, will be.” I used to stress every detail and I still do because it’s a habit. But, now I know that it doesn’t change outcomes. I’m more relaxed and I definitely pause before reacting or acting now.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
That sometimes you have to just let go. It’s great to fight and there is a time for that. But, some- times the best thing isn’t to fight, it’s to preserve your peace.
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KAY HARDWAY, 57
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
All of those I surround myself with inspire me. My values were taught to me by my parents. To this day, I feel they still inspire me every day. My husband and my two children inspire me. I am encouraged every day by my husband there is nothing that I can’t accomplish. Each of my children have entered the health field and will stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Finally, my friends inspire me. Each of them have special qualities that make them successful in life and leaders in our community and last, but not least my faith in God.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
As a young girl, my dream was to be able to go to New York to model. In 1984, I got that opportunity and was able to work for Agencies there. Once there , I learned living in a big city and traveling for jobs was not what I wanted in life. Family is very important to me and I realized this career and the life I wanted would not work together. This experience gave me the confidence to come home and open my first business at the age of 22. I am proud of the fact that Profiles Modeling Studio was able to let me pass on self confidence and self improvement to hundreds of girls from this area. In 1986, I was able to obtain my second dream starting my own clothing store. Brittanys Fashions began operations at the corner of second and state in Gallipolis. Although I retired in 2019, the store i started remains a main stay of our downtown business district today.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? My twenty year old self was very passionate and driven. I knew what I wanted out of life and spent every day taking steps to make these dreams come true. I felt like there was nothing I couldn’t accomplish. As years go by, although my dreams have changed, the attitude I had at 20 has not. The goals I have now are to give those around me , especially my children, the same blessed life I was able to live.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Life will only be what you make of it. You will have others that will lift you up and others that will try to bring you down. Separate yourself from those who do not support you and cling to those who have the same values as yourself.
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KRISTEN MERSHON, 46
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I am definitely inspired by those who overcome circumstances that most would crumble from. We spoke of the student at Rio, who absolutely qualifies, but more meaningful to me are the victims. Those who overcome the abuse and create beauty out of something so ugly. The lives these special angels touch is endless, my grandmother was one such soul. She is my ultimate inspiration.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
A crystalizing experience in my life was, actually, a chapter of my life where I spend 7 wonderful years being a youth leader at my church. This time opened my eyes to the harsh realities many of our youth face each day. I realized my pains and struggles were lessons I could share and teach these next generations. My journey with “my kids”, my youth group, inspired me to return to college to pursue my Psychology Master’s degree, in hopes to become a child psychologist. These kids turned out to be one of the biggest blessings of my life.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? My mental and emotional health now, as a 46 year old woman, are consumed by my family. I have a strong passion for my mother to leave this life feeling loved, respected, and appreciated. My biggest goal is for my children to always feel loved and wanted. My thoughts are consumed by my family, which is a blessing, constantly focusing on yourself, as my 20-year-old-self did, is narcissistic and seems so selfish at this point in my life.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
The most important piece of advice I could give my 20-year-old self is, YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are enough to be anything you desire to be, you are enough to deserve the love of your lover, you are enough to be the leader of whatever you want to lead, YOU ARE ENOUGH! I would hug her deeply and tell her she is beautiful, not only physically, but most importantly, her heart is pure and her love is genuine. I would tell her how proud I am of her! I would tell her I love her.
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LACIE SKEEN
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My mom was always my biggest inspiration in my life. She over came so much in her life and taught me that giving up was never an option, to work hard and you can achieve it if you dream it and to always see the good in the world even when we are surrounded by darkness.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Wow! Thats hard there isn’t so much one thing as there is a series of things that shaped me. I was abused as a child for years by my mothers husband. My first husband was abusive. I love believe all those instances helped to shape me into who i am today. By living those experiences i can relate and understand others better in order to help them.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I was still learning when I was 20! LOL. Now i can see that we have to have the bad in order to appreciate the good in our lives. We need the low points and the struggles to make us stronger so we can appreciate the high points and when things are good.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Believe in yourself. Always see the good in people and live life to the fullest!! Enjoy ever minute and when you cant enjoy it learn from it. Stay kind and always strive to be a good person.
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LINDA CHAPMAN, 74
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My parents inspired me to work hard and never give up on my goals. They did not finish high school, and they worked hard all their lives to make sure my sister and I never went without. My husband and daughters inspire me everyday to attain and set new goals because you are never to old to learn or to begin a new adventure. My five grandchildren are one of my most valuable assets. They think I can do anything from cooking a great meal to getting blood stains out their ball uniforms.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
When I was graduating from high school, I made the decision not to accept a scholarship from Huntington Professional Women Association to attend Marshall University. I decided to go to Huntington College of Business which I finished in one year. (My husband Steve and I met at fifteen years of age and married at twenty. I felt it was much more important for him to attain his business degree at Marshall University.) After graduating business college, I began working for the C&O Railway in Huntington, WV. I worked for the railway from 1965 to 1969. We moved to Columbus Ohio after Steve graduated. We were there only six months before Steve was drafted. We then spent two years in New Jersey while Steve in the army during the Vietnam era. Our daughter Kelly-Jo was born while he was serving at Fort Monmouth. I guess you could say I became more confident at that time. I soon learned to not allow other people to intimidate this little girl from West Virginia. We moved to back to Columbus in 1971 where Steve worked for one of the Big 8 firms as a CPA. Our second daughter Shayna Brooke was born there. We moved to Gallipolis, Ohio in 1976 for Steve to work for Merrill Evans, Forest Mullins and George Carter. He was the controller for the ten different companies they owned. Between 1976 and 1981 I did bookkeeping for four of their companies. The girls were just five and two. We still laugh about Shayna sleeping in the bottom drawer of a file cabinet. I brought a TV into my office so she could watch her cartoons. Both girls would practice their dance and little majorette routines in the evening while Steve and I worked on tax returns. In 1981 Steve and I thought we should open our own company. It was called Steven B. Chapman CPA. I wore many hats in our office from preparing returns to cleaning toilets. Our daughters went to work with us in the evenings during tax season until they were old enough to stay home by themselves. As our girls grew up also became their chauffeur. I never missed a recital, majorette practice, softball game or any activity they were involved in. I think we raised both girls to be very independent free thinking ladies. Kelly-Jo became a teacher, and Shayna followed in our footsteps and became a CPA. She now owns the practice. You might have hear of Shaynaco.LLC. I also served on the Gallia Chamber of Commerce board as their treasurer for nine years. I have been a member Grace United Methodist for the past 45 years where I serve on the finance committee, pastor staff committee and the board of trustees. I’m just finishing up my day reviewing tax returns for Shaynaco LLC. I think at 74 it is almost time for me to put away pentel pencil and big erase and retire. I hear Florida calling my name.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I’m much more confident now that I am in my 70s. I think people have learned that I stand up for what I believe in.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
I would tell any young persons not to be afraid to spread your wings. Moving away from family makes you group up faster and gives you much more confidence. I always told my daughters don’t be afraid to try new things. Your dad and I are always here to help you anyway we can.
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MANJU SHARMA, 55
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I would say my husband has inspired me the most in life. He always encourages me to keep going with my goals and even when I feel I cannot do something, he always reminds me that I need to keep confidence in myself and I can do anything in this world.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
All my life I had been told my cooking was wonderful and that I should be a chef of my own restaurant. For many years I actually wanted to open my restaurant, however I could never find the courage to leave my duties at home to fulfill a goal for purely myself. Then one day, my brother approached me and asked me to go into the restaurant business with him because he really loved to cook as well. When I saw this opportunity to make my dreams into a reality, I took the leap of faith. I am extremely happy to have had that moment in my life.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? When I was 20 years old I was very innocent. I did not really think too much about the world besides taking care of my home and husband. I got married at 21 and my full focus was to be a homemaker. Now, I feel the world is more open to me. I feel proud of my restaurant and the business I have built. When people love my food, it brings me joy.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
I would tell my 20 year old self to keep her eyes open for opportunities around her. And once she found something she really loved and that inspired her, to grab onto it and never let go.
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MARISA SANDERS, 40
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I definitely have to give creds to my mom for this one. She has faced a lot of adversity in her life and managed every obstacle that crossed her path as a single mom. She has always inspired me to adapt to change and work for everything you want because nothing in life is free. As I matured, I would see women in the world creating their own legacies and I always find myself intrigued by it. I admire people who enjoy leaving their comfort zone to venture into the unknown. WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I left the industry I am in now for a few short years and still continued to have people reaching out to me to help them. I felt there was a missing piece in the industry in my community that I needed to help fill. One day I found myself sitting in my vehicle on my lunch wondering if I was on the path God plans for me and I randomly get a call about starting my own business - back in that very industry I had left. Obvious sign right? I believe that path has been paved for me all along the way to get me to where I am today and I have been blessed to allow each phase of it create my future growth.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I have always walked my own path and been confident in the person God created me to be. Once I had two girls of my own I knew I had to raise them to believe in themselves and chase every dream they have. I hope to forever be that fun loving adventurous 20 year old inside and inspire others to stay young as you age and continue to grow from life’s experiences. As the canvas ages, may the spirit forever stay young.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Set your goals high because you have the confidence and drive to achieve anything you put your mind to.
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MARLENE NEWSOME, 69
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Medical staff doing their jobs. Also, my oldest son’s NFL team is Kansas City Chiefs. One player is a doctor and is currently working at a hospital in the fight against Covid-19.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Nothing reminds me how blessed I am more than the twists and turns of life.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I know a major plan must be in my future; I must be patient.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Stay focused.
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MARY LOU ADAMS, 70
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Katherine Hepburn, her beauty, style and strength. As she aged, she took on roles that showed her age and the wisdom the years brought. A real classy lady.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
When I was in high school my best friend literally made me audition for “Carousel” a play by Rogers and Hammerstein. I got the role and even though it wasn’t the main female role I had so much fun playing her that it apparently showed in my performance. It opened up a new world to me and I have continued to pursue this hobby. For the past thirty years have had many rewarding experiences with the Actors Guild of Parkersburg.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I am not the same person I was at 20. I’ve learned to love myself and that was the biggest step to happiness i could hope for. This allowed me to be able to love my children more fully and as I grow older with them they are are teaching me so much about life.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Think for yourself. Live your life by your deepest convictions and don’t be discouraged or bullied into something that isn’t authentic.
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MELINDA NORMAN, 52
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
I am who I am today because of my mom, Velma Calhoon Ramey. She instilled a work ethic in me that still drives me today. She is a survivor. She taught me to respect myself and the people and things around me. In my professional life I was lucky to have had a mentor that had a mindset of service to others, his name is Mike Magnusson. He taught my peers and I to see opportunities, focus on solutions and always act with those we serve in mind. I have carried that in my heart for many years now and I have adjusted it some but it still serves me well. See opportunities to help, focus on positive solutions and always act keeping those who will be impacted by my decisions in mind.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I have struggled with my purpose in life. I love children and my family so it has been hard for me never being able to have children of our own. I have questioned what will my legacy be when my time here is finished. This has consumed my thoughts a lot since losing my husband after almost 28 years. However, in my search for healing I think I have an idea of what I am supposed to be doing here. I will awake each day with the intention of making my piece of the world better than yesterday. I may not have children of my own flesh and blood but I can honestly say I have multiple children of varying ages because of my work in the Prevention field and my education life. I have also mentored friends and colleagues that I admire and I am proud of their achievements in life. I hope that someone out there will be able to say that Mrs. Melinda Norman made a difference in their life. So, I will focus in being and doing better each new day I am given.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I am not invincible, omnipotent, or infallible. In my 20’s I was fearless and probably even reckless. I had a full head of steam and felt like I could change the world just by being in it. Today I am a work in progress. I acknowledge the things I can’t do, don’t know and my many mistakes along the way. I am willing to learn, to try and to fail. I will never be perfect and that is ok.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Be comfortable in your own skin. Love and respect yourself first so you can love and respect others. Look for quality not quantity. So much joy can be found in the simplest things. It is ok if some people don’t like you, because you won’t like everyone you meet either. Think about your health while you are young. You will get older and there are only so many original parts that you can live without.
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NATASHA SOMMER-SMITH, 47
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
The women in my family, I am blessed with a big family with strong women. I can’t imagine who I would be without these women in my life. They have shown resilience, determination and strength against many obstacles. All three of my daughters are named for these strong women. My daughters also inspire me, with their unconditional love for me and facing all the problems youth are facing today.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
God wanted me to be. I thought maybe someone there needed me. I spent two years becoming comfortable in a very challenging classroom. I ended up learning more from my students than they learned from me. I learned to listen, be creative, stay calm, be flexible, and most of all to celebrate all the little joys and victories. After two years I was able to transfer to the district my daughters attended and where I am very comfortable. I I am very thankful for those two uncomfortable years, they helped me be a better teacher and person. I am blessed to be able to learn from some amazing kids. I thank God for knowing the right path for me and am thankful that I followed.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? At 20 my works evolved around me. I was afraid of trying new things. I had anxiety that I couldn’t control. I think as I have aged I have found that we should never pass on something new, even if I am still nervous. I’ve learned how to handle my anxiety much better by changing my focus in life and taking things one step at a time.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Try new experiences, you don’t know what you might find you enjoy by staying in your comfort zone. Don’t rush into things without thinking them through and look at all sides, things aren’t always what they seem.
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NORMA ELLCESSOR, 49
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Without hesitation I would say my mother inspires me. She has faced adversity with strength, dignity and grace, she has instilled in me a belief that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. She has also taught me that nothing in life is free and hard work and dedication is the only way to be successful. As we grow older I value those lessons she taught me even more today and I can only pray to be the same inspiration to my three daughters.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
My crystalizing experience was the day I became a mother. At that moment every selfish thought i had fell to the wayside. I had this overwhelming feeling that I cannot let this perfect little human down! My entire life I wanted my girls to be everything that I was not and i realized that the only way to do that was to show them not to depend on someone else for your happiness, or success be that for yourself! It inspired me to return to school and get my degree. They watched the struggles of late night studying, paper writing and trying to be the best possible version of myself not only for them but for me.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? As I approach my last year in my 40’s I have had the opportunity to reflect on my life. There are a lot of things in my life i thought of changing but I realize they have shaped me to be the person I am. I remember where I came from, I remember struggling working 2 jobs, I remember feeling the heartache of loss, I remember how it felt to fail. I had to experience the journey in every sense of emotion to come to where i am now. I can honestly say I am so settled in my life my girls are grown and prospering and happy. I have a job I love and a great circle of friends. I have learned that life is full of new and wonderful adventures we just have to be willing to take that journey.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Be comfortable in your own skin. Love and respect yourself first so you can love and respect others. Look for quality not quantity. So much joy can be found in the simplest things. It is ok if some people don’t like you, because you won’t like everyone you meet either. Think about your health while you are young. You will get older and there are only so many original parts that you can live without.
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PATRICIA RAWLINSON, 56
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Friends inspire me… Friends are the companionship of the ride…they are the closest you’ll let anyone to you and the ones you trust and love… when a friend is afraid I am challenged to find bravery within to offer as a gift… when they are bold as a lion.. I am challenged to look inside to find my own lion.. when they are find to others I am inspired to spread kindness in tandem with them.. when friends are curious… well trouble and fun will probably ensue! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Knock on the doors… I was an army brat and have moved over 40 times in my 56 years. As a child when we moved I would immediately go around to the neighbors.. Knock on the door ask if they had kids.. and did they want to play? I have taken that to my adulthood and business.. Knock on the doors.. If they don’t answer or the answer is no.. knock some more.. someone always wants to play.. you can’t find them if you don’t knock!
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I feel more confident at 56 than 20…Life and its lessons and stories are so vibrant and interesting, when you have literally been around the sun 36 more times you start seeing patterns of importance and patterns of “who cares” and you start realizing that if it doesn’t matter to you.. it doesn’t matter!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
You have your own personal measuring tape for life… Your talent, your heart, your beauty is YOURS ALONE! Using someone else’s measuring tape is like wearing LeBron (basketball player) tennis shoes there is no way anything good will come from it and probably something tragic would happen.. When you use your own measure it crysalizes your loves and life plans, so much simpler and easy! Plus it makes everything more meaningful!
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RACHEL HENDRICKS, 45 WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Music inspires me. Sometimes it’s just the music, sometimes it’s just the lyrics and sometimes, it’s both. It has been here for me in some of the greatest moments of my life and some of the darkest. It has helped me to dance the night away or comforted me when I was sad. I know there are more times than I can count that it gave me strength and courage when I needed it most. There was never a time when I wasn’t surrounded by the sounds of pianos, fiddles, guitars and singing because I come from a family of musicians. My dad being one of the most influential. Learning to play guitar so I could play with him was always a dream I had as a little girl. I honestly can’t ever remember a time when it wasn’t part of who I am. WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I am currently receiving treatment for PTSD. The trauma I experienced though out my life stole my identity and every part of who I was. The biggest part of my therapy is getting back the voice that was taken from me and finding parts of myself that were lost along the way. To be strong - let go of the past - and to move forward. This rediscovery of “me” and the strength I found was a turning point in my life. I didn’t want to hide anymore. I wanted to do something that would say “HERE I AM - YOU DID NOT BREAK ME!!” So when I spoke to Jessica about this project we both knew it was exactly what I was looking for to help me take that next step. I never realized just how empowering it would be. The photo shoot was amazing and seeing the final pictures was so overwhelming it brought me to tears. I remember saying, “Is this me?” Jessica said,”Yes Rachel - when people look at you this is what they see.” I truly saw myself for the first time that day. Not as the girl who had everything about her stripped away but as the strong woman who endured the unimaginable and never gave up. It showed me that I do have purpose and a reason to share my story with others because it might help someone else over come what they believe to be impossible. With all my heart I know that no matter what happens in our lives, healing can take place and the past does not have to define our future. HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? There is a small part of the twenty year old me in here. I say that because there are things I still enjoy now that I did then and I never want to lose that feeling. Mentally I am in a much better place now because I know what I do and do not want in my life and I stand up for that. I don’t take up my time or my energy anymore to worry about the little things. Emotionally, I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. I am now learning not to react so quickly to those emotions and not allowing them to control me or decisions that I need to make.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Everyday is different. You will make mistakes. So make them and move on. You weren’t born to live in your mistakes but to learn and grow from them.
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RACHEL NEWBERRY, 42
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My daughters. Although they’re only 15 they are very self aware. They care about social justice and aren’t afraid to express their opinions. They don’t seem to care what people think of them and fully embrace their uniqueness.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
There isn’t one defining moment but lots of little steps and/or missteps along the way. Lots of prayer and God’s grace
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I’m finally starting to not be such a people pleaser. I don’t categorize all my flaws now. I’m happy with who I am and the challenges that have led me here.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Finish grad school directly after undergrad. There won’t be a better/easier time. Travel as much as you can.
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RETTE CARMICHAEL, 41
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My parents come to mind first. They have always been a great example of hard work and dedication… with their businesses and each other. They got married at 18 and are still very much in love… You don’t see that very often anymore.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Well it didn’t seem positive at the time, but I got laid off from my job and got the chance to go back to school. Now I get to do what I love every day and help people feel better. I also get to be my own boss and spend more time with my family.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Well exhausted some days! So much more responsibility now, but I am so much more comfortable in my own skin than I was when I was younger. I know more of who I am and what I want to accomplish.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF?
Stop worrying about what people think or what they are doing with their lives… focus on getting better every day and what you want out of life.
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ROBIN FOWLER, 55
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My mom. My mom is the kindest, fairest, most honestly good person in my life. I’ve never heard an unkind word from her about someone or never heard her speak in anger. She has opened her heart and home to so many, family and otherwise. She’s a giver, not a taker. It’s second nature to her to be positive and she has passed the gift of positivity on to me. She taught me that it should never be about to figure out what you could have done if something went wrong but rather, what you are going to do now. She taught me to recognize and focus on the good in this life. Because of her, I am a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, leader, and friend.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I have to say the death of my mother in-law. Although not entirely unexpected due to her health, it was sudden and too soon at only 59 years old. Nancy was a fireball and did everything in life with incredible determination and passion; most of all loving her children and great grandchildren. I had just started my insurance career when she passed away and while full of great opportunity, we were still working on our financial stability and facing the first year of college tuition for our daughter, with her brother only a year behind. The burden of her funeral cost and other final expenses landed on us. Nancy lived in a modest mobile home and had an older car but made sure she kept her life insurance paid up. When we discovered her life insurance policies, we realized she was still taking care of us. The impact of her commitment of making sure dream’s for our family came true even when she was no longer here, was living changing. Focusing on helping others do the same thing for their families became and still is in my greatest career purpose.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? At 20, I was planning for and becoming a wife. With our 35th wedding anniversary approaching, I can say I feel confident to say we are going to “make it”. He’s the one I want to grow old with and now we are doing that with sense of security and peace and I am sure I did not have that at 20. I have learned that patient persistency for what and who you love is necessary for true happiness in life.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Not to let others expectations of you get in the way of your expectations of yourself. Take time to figure out what you want out of life. Get to know yourself and love who you are. Listen and digest advice from those in your life that you love ultimately, what you can do is up to you, no one else.
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SANDRA WILLIAMS, 46
I am inspired by a multitude of combined experiences that have formed me. The formation started with an astute observation. Once I evaluated how people actually treat one another, I concluded that I am tired of judgments. Men and women base their friendship choices on how people dress, how attractive people are, and how much money or influence people have. People will always find a way to be judgmental, but I decided that harsh reality would no longer affect my life. As I grew older, I grew into my confidence that has proven to fit me well. I finally loved myself for who I am, and, thankfully, realized God loves me, too. I shall never long to revert back into my younger and naive self. Not even for a million dollars!
When women look in the mirror every glorious morning, they should acknowledge they are their own best friend and biggest fan. My advice to other women is simple: Love yourself for who you are and that also means to love how you look, no matter what judgments others place upon you.
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SARA EVANS MOORE, 56
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My parents have been tremendous role models and a source of unconditional support for me. When my siblings and I were young, our parents never forced us into anything, but once we chose what we wanted to do they pushed us to be the best we could be. They instilled in us a strong work ethic, attention to detail, and encouraged competitiveness among us. These characteristics have served me well in my life as they have opened doors throughout my life which have always led to fulfilling opportunities.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Accepting a full scholarship to play basketball at Stanford University was a pivotal point in my life. Not only did I get a world class education, I was afforded many awesome experiences, enjoyed lots of free travel which allowed me to see much of the world just for playing the game I love. It also helped me to establish a base of knowledge and develop connections that would propel me into my first career of coaching Division I college women’s basketball. During my 11 year college coaching career I was able to take my Marshall University women’s basketball team to the NCAA tournament which was an amazing and rewarding experience. Excelling at basketball enhanced my life because it provided opportunities for me that nothing else could have provided a little girl from Appalachia. These experiences and accomplishments helped make me the confident and content person I am today.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I am more confident now and am definitely better at handling bumps in the road. I guess the adage “with age comes wisdom” is true!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Don’t let a setback deter you from pursuing your goals. When things don’t go as planned don’t give up and choose a lesser direction. Stay focused, regroup and keep pushing forward toward what you really want to achieve.
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SHAYNA CHAPMAN, 46 WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU? I draw inspiration from so many people. I am not someone who gets star struck, but I have always paid attention to who is where and how did they get there. When I was young I watched my parents work so hard and they always inspire me. As I matured, I saw women who seemingly could do or be anything they wanted, and I wanted to be at the top of the world with them. But as I’ve aged further, my inspiration is drawn from people who fight for their own path. People who are intelligent and kind, but are not afraid of discovery that might change something within them. People who provide light and guidance rather than negativity and hopelessness. If you look around there are many of them. And those are the people with whom I purposefully surround myself, so I may learn and draw inspiration from them every day.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE? I’m not sure I have an answer to this question. I have worked really hard to be who I am and where I am and to have what I have. From the time I set foot on a college campus, I did so with purpose. I have not gotten to design my entire path, though. Things happen beyond a person’s control, like my love for other human beings and the responsibility that comes with that love, which will quickly deviate your intended path. I am not one to believe that everything happens for a reason. But I do believe we get to use what has happened as reasons for developing a new route in our ever-changing path. For that reason, the hardships are just as important, and I dare say MORE important, as the positives we have experienced and those are probably the things that have most reinforced who I really am.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Twenty is a child with all of the freedoms of a mature adult. I know where I was when I was twenty and while I’m appreciative for those experiences, I was indeed a child relying on others, and emotionally and mentally immature. Each decade of my life so far has brought more understanding of who I am, what gives me a challenge, my sense of right and wrong, and most importantly when it matters and when it doesn’t when someone else is a challenge to my beliefs and desires. Mentally and emotionally, I will take my current age every time over being 20 again. Actually, I will take my current age every time over any other year in life so far.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? You have the ability to be anything you want to be. But the responsibility is yours. What is most important is that everything you do is shaping your life. Take chances. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to anyone. You do not have to please anyone but yourself. Your path is yours. And lastly, it’s okay to to change your mind. Changing your mind doesn’t mean you are a failure; it means you have grown.
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SHERRY GORDON, 52
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My three sons: Nathaniel, Christopher and Matthew.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
I started a journey of a healthier me in January of 2015 for several reasons but my biggest motivator was wanting to try to stack the odds in my favor to be present for my boys. I was not going to add a third blood pressure medication as was where I was heading.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Definitely more confident, strong, independent and comfortable with self. I found my “voice” self years ago, and I have never looked back!
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Don’t be afraid to speak up, you have so much to contribute! You are stronger than you think!
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STARR WOODALL, 47
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
Mr. Withee and the power of P.M.A. I work hard to instill the same Positive Mental Attitude in my students and cure the “I hate math” syndrome.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Becoming a macrame artists, hosting workshops, and having my art out in the world has helped me to slow down and live in the moment. It has introduced me to kindred souls who have a connection with nature, who love discussing those philosophical questions of existence, and all have a beautifully positive mindset.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? When I was in my 20’s, my New Years resolutions were to wear red lipstick, one year to wear bangles, or the next wear chunky heels and hoop earrings... Fast forward 20 years, and my resolutions are to practice mindfulness, indulge in all the little moments with my 6 year young son, ground myself in nature, create a backpacking community, and work less overtime. PS… I still wear red lipstick, hoop earrings and bangles.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Wear sunscreen and lots of it!
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SUSAN EASTMAN, 51
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
It’s hard to name them, I have so many special people that have influenced my life. So rather than make a list a mile long i will tell you the characteristics of them.. I am inspired by people who are enthusiastic about life and convey their good energy to me. I am inspired by People who care deeply about their career, their family, their friends. I am inspired by people who believe in me and make me feel worthy, accepted and approved. I am inspired by people who see the best in me. I am inspired by people with good values and morals and a strong work eithic. Be people who don’t lie to me or take advantage of me. I am inspired by people who know where they are going and lead me down a new path. I’m inspired by people who focus on giving and not taking. Some days I’m inspired by myself. I have the ability to take charge and get things done. Without all these mentors in my life tho- I wouldn’t be half the person I am today. I’ll reiterate what I said in another question, ‘who and what we surround ourselves with is who and what we become”. I believe I have become a successful human by surrounding my self with so many positive inspirational role models in my life.
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
My girlfriends reinforce who I am. My friendship circle is amazing. I am an only child with no family. My girlfriends are my family. I am blessed with many! I am a firm believer in the type of people you surround yourself with determines the choices you make and the paths you take. Realizing the value of this at a young age, I’ve been careful all my life to surround myself with people of good character and moral value. I have surrounded myself with people who inspire me, support and encourage me, and love me.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? Over the course of my adult life, I have struggled to make everything work. I worked myself to death trying to be the best mom, a perfect wife, a valued community member and a terrific friend. Yet the harder I worked the farther I seemed to be from finding joy in my life. This is probably from all the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. Those that know me well, understand my struggles with perfectionism. The result of all my efforts was stress, exhaustion, no time for self, and a lack of focus on my own health. Because I am such a determined person, I just kept pushing harder and harder and draining myself even more trying to have it all. For years I struggled with a lot of health issues. In 2018, I found a doctor who began to resolve some of those issues and kinda put me on a ME path. I realized it was time to stop taking care of everyone else and start taking better care of me. I’m on the right track now as opposed to life at 20. I’m seeing changes in myself. I’m Learning everyday that I am physically strong, mentally tough and emotionally able to take care of myself now while also living my best life.
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? You won’t spend your life miserable if you can be content with continuous improvement, instead of striving for perfection.
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THERESA DRENNER, 47
WHO INSPIRES OR HAS INSPIRED YOU?
My grandmother! She was a hard working (worked until she was 82) woman that raised 3 generations of grandchildren. She cooked breakfast every morning and dinner every night, and always had a dessert made for us growing up! The stories were endless, and the memories cherished…
WHAT WAS A CRYSTALIZING EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
Was probably around the age of ten! My father was abusive, my Mother finally left him but then abandoned us with my grandmother just so she could escape him. I was a very hurt young girl grieving the loss of my family! But even being so young, I vowed to make something of myself and never let my early childhood consume or define me!
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY COMPARED TO HOW YOU FELT WHEN YOU WERE 20? I’ve always had a strong sense of self! At 20 I was carefree, living beachside in St. Augustine Florida, enjoying life as I knew it! Now at almost 50 I’m living in a small rural Ohio town and still feel the same. Age is just a number and today I feel no older than I did 30 years ago, I’ve just learned to slow down a bit! Life is precious and tomorrow isn’t promised, enjoy every moment you have here…
WHAT PIECE OF ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR 20 YEAR OLD SELF? Take more risk, be more adventurous, work hard for what you want, value time and love unconditionally!
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