RETHINKING CRISIS Strategies to move from Crisis to Empowerment 1 Introduction Crisis is a part of everyone’s life, but it impacts each of us in different ways at different times. Some of us have experienced MANY crises while others may only identify one or two situations that they would describe as a crisis. If you are currently experiencing a crisis or are just emerging from one, this manual is written especially for you. It’s written by people that have lived through, and even grown, as a result of emotional distress, trauma and other crisis situations. We are hopeful that this guide provides needed space for self-reflection and awareness, exposure to information and tips, and ideas of wellness tools and activities to build your own resilience for physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual well-being. We are survivors, and the survivor in us honors the survivor in you. Be well on your journey! A Special Note: During the writing of this manual, an unexpected international crisis emerged; COVID-19. While not the focus, the authors did include a section at the end of this manual on COVID-19 with the intention of it helping to clarify and offer you with basic information. Please feel free to share this section alone, or this manual in its entirety. 2 What is a Crisis? While this is a simple question, it does not have a simple answer. Why? The answer depends on the person. Crisis: “A time of A crisis may be an outside circumstance – intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.” for example, the COVID-19 crisis. This Dictionary.com certainly is affecting many of us. Typical boundaries that divide people are easily crossed by the virus - country, age, wealth, race, religion, gender, etc. There are also many other personal “crisis” events, such as loss of a job, death of a loved one, etc. But the true essence of “crisis,” and what this manual really addresses, is the internal feelings of distress that arise within us as a response to life moments. In this way, “crisis” is a uniquely personal experience, created more by a constellation of factors than any particular event. Each of us has a history that But then, as I listened, I realized that, has shaped who we are today and how we for this man, it was a tragedy. He respond to circumstances around us. Hence, it is a had not had the experiences to build the muscles needed to weather this unique experience. Two people in identical emotional storm, and it actually circumstances will have very different responses. sidelined him from his life and his career for almost a decade. For one it may feel like their feet have been knocked out from under them, while another in the same circumstance will barely feel a ground shake beneath their feet. Here’s an example – I remember once watching a TV biography show. The narrator said…”And then tragedy struck !!!” Well, my ears perked up. As the story was 3 told about a man who lost his 75 year-old mother, I became a bit self-righteous. “Are you kidding?,” I thought to myself. “I had more deaths in my family before I was 10 years old!!” But then, as I listened, I realized that, for this man, it was a tragedy. He had not had the experiences to build the muscles he needed to weather this kind of emotional storm, and it actually sidelined him from his life and his career for almost a decade. My response would have been different – not better, just different – because we’re all different. Internal Signs of Distress Some of us had childhoods that were abusive, neglectful, unpredictable, and scary. All of these experiences shape the way we view life, others, and situations that arise. Some of us may believe that these experiences have made us stronger – “strong in the broken places” as some say. On the other hand, these experiences might leave us feeling generally anxious all the time, waiting for bad things to happen and being very sensitive and aware of potentially distressful situations. Either way, we are forever changed and shaped by those around us, how they treated us, what we witnessed and how we survived. We each experience stress in our own unique ways. As we grow up, we learn how to respond to challenges by watching those around us for cues of what is and isn’t acceptable. In addition, our bodies have natural defense mechanisms that signal when things are out of sync, alerting our body and mind so we can react to keep ourselves safe. Think about what happens when you startle a dog or cat. Their first reaction is to get into a defensive posture and hiss or bark. In an instant, they’re ready to protect themselves. Humans are much the same way. 4 We get flooded with chemicals, like adrenaline, that assist our minds and bodies to combat the danger. Our Internal Alarm – Let’s Fight or Flight: Those of us who have grown up in homes with violence, abuse or neglect may have activated this “danger” alert many times. Over time, parts of our system can get worn out and broken. For some of us, the “alarm bell” goes off often, even when there’s no danger there. Similarly, our alarm bell may signal a five-alarm fire, when the situation is barely a one-alarm fire. In these cases, our bodies are flooded with overwhelming amounts of “fight or flight” chemicals. We’re ready for a battle that doesn’t exist. We may try to run if we can, but if cornered, we’re also ready to fight. Our Response to Danger: While some of us respond to our internal alarm by going into a “fight/flight” stance, others of us may respond in a different way, by “freezing” or “checking out.” This is known as “dissociating” and, like fight/flight, is an automatic biological response. In the same way a deer freezes in the middle of the road in fear when a car approaches, we too may go into a freeze mode. This can lead to brain fog, an inability to speak or speak clearly, feeling stuck in place and unable to move, or spacing out. The spacing out, or dissociating, can be mild or more extreme, including total memory loss of the time like a blackout. So, for those of us with trauma histories, we may find that our responses to stressful life events may fall along this continuum of fight, flight or freeze. Here’s another way to look at it, graphically: 5 FLIPPING OUR LID Make a fist with your thumb tucked inside your fingers. This is a hand model of our brains. THUMB In this hand model, our fingers represent where our emotions and memories live. It is called the Limbic System and it is where our Fight, Flight, Freeze reactions to danger are triggered. FINGERS In this hand model, our fingers represent our Rational Brain. When our rational brain is activated, we are able to think, reason and make decisions about how we are going to respond to danger. As in the image above, it covers and controls our Limbic System (thumb) and we use it to think through situations. However, at times when our Limbic System (thumb) is really activated, it can cause us to “flip our lid,” and our rational brain (fingers) can be taken over by our emotions and we can’t think clearly. To un-flip our lids, we can use the strategies included in this manual to help us ground, calm our bodies and mind, and feel more empowered. For some of us, especially those of us who have experienced trauma, our emotions can over-ride our logical mind. When this happens, it’s hard to remember that feelings aren’t facts. Our feelings can color how we view and 6 respond to situations. This is especially true when the situation triggers a sensitive area, sometimes leading us to react out of feelings rather than respond in a thoughtful way. Stepping back and evaluating the situation from our thinking mind can help us respond in a way that will serve us instead of creating more chaos or crisis. Is this a Crisis or Emergency? What is the difference between a crisis An emergency is an urgent situation that puts you or others in and an emergency? The answer lies in the immediate harm. urgency of the situation. A person who A crisis is something that causes experiences a mental health or substance use distress, but with support, resources and skills, can be crisis may express intensity of our mood or resolved without having to access 911 or medical intervention. thinking, an increase in irritability and/or a loss of connection with people that causes us distress. This is sometimes described in the mental health system as an increase in “symptoms,” or “Budding” (Building up to a Drink or Drug) or “white knuckling” when the focus is on substance use. More common than both of these is the presence of a co-occurring or dual involvement of mental health and substance use challenges, where substances are used to either mask emotional distress or actually increase difficult emotions. Substance use can also lessen our inhibitions, increasing the likelihood of acting on thoughts of self-harm or suicide. 7 No matter our specific challenges, when we experience a crisis, a combination of support, a good plan, and hard work can be beneficial to work through these periods without having to access in-patient services, detox or return to use.