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"In Which We Fight"

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PRIVATE PRACTICE "In Which We Fight" written by Alan Flanagan 179 Harbord Street, Toronto ON M5S 2R5 Ph: (+1)647-780-3541 E: [email protected] TEASER FADE IN: RANDOM IMAGES. Sunrise. A paperweight. Letters. Blood. A baby’s rattle. Grainy video footage of a birthday cake. Sunrise again. Waves wash, birds chirp, everything seems... crisp. Except for... a BANGING NOISE. Like metal on metal. ADDISON (V.O.) Before and after. 1 EXT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - ADDISON’S OFFICE - DAY 1 ON Addison, well-dressed, together, hint of a smile even. Just staring out the window of her office. ADDISON (V.O.) Two of us. Addison flickers in and out of vision -- a second Addison, looking a mess, harried, worn out, flickers in at the other window. They both trade in and out of actually being there. ADDISON (V.O.) (CONT’D) Two Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd Bouvier Kennedy Onassis..es. Before and after. INT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - ADDISON’S OFFICE - DAY The “Together Addison” turns, confident, smiling - walking for the door. The “Un-Together Addison”, still flickering in and out, follows suit. INT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - LOBBY - DAY Both Addisons are joined by NAOMI, SAM, COOP and VIOLET. Again, there are two sets of everyone, flickering in and out, and they match the Addison mood. One group look harried, the other is actually smiling and upbeat. UN-TOGETHER VIOLET How you holding up? UN-TOGETHER ADDISON I... it’s... (she shrugs, teary) "Episode Title" 2. Flickering into... TOGETHER ADDISON (smiling) Is pants-wettingly excited still a phrase? (she glances back to her office -- that metal noise is still happening) TOGETHER NAOMI Most definitely. Flicker back to... UN-TOGETHER NAOMI Do we know what... what the plan is? UN-TOGETHER ADDISON I don’t think there’s an exact way to do tragedy. Cry, scream, punch some dry wall. UN-TOGETHER SAM Lather, rinse, repeat. Flicker to... TOGETHER ADDISON Shampoo? (she looks to her office -- again, that metal noise) TOGETHER COOP Don’t know if we can swing that, but... (he coughs loudly, looking to the kitchen -- nothing happens, and he coughs again) BETSY - Dell’s daughter, and limping slightly - eventually emerges holding a birthday cake, candles and all. TOGETHER ADDISON Oh my God. Flicker to... UN-TOGETHER ADDISON (hanging up her phone) Oh my God. "Episode Title" 3. UN-TOGETHER NAOMI What is it? UN-TOGETHER ADDISON She’s outside. Flicker to... TOGETHER ADDISON (as Betsy holds the cake for her to blow out) How did you...? Thank you guys. Thank you so, so, so much. Flicker to... UN-TOGETHER COOP Can we help-- UN-TOGETHER ADDISON There’s nothing that you can do, guys. I... my mother’s dead and outside apparently, because the hospital thought I was doing an amateur dramatic staging of Weekend At Bernie’s. Flicker to... POP! Champagne and glasses all round. Betsy films them all on a digital camera. TOGETHER ADDISON (sipping as she goes) I appreciate this, guys. I really do. With everything that’s... (that metal sound -- from her office, infuriating) Would you mind if I just...? (she moves for her office) Flicker to... UN-TOGETHER ADDISON I don’t know what there is to make this situation crappier but I have no doubt that the universe will provide. (she waits -- as if the universe is actually going to--) UN-TOGETHER COOP Uh, I think-- (Addison shushes him -- and waits...) "Episode Title" 4. DING! The elevator opens. Everyone looks. Flicker to... Together Addison walks to her office and straight to the window. She leans out... TOGETHER ADDISON Hey! Flicker to... Un-Together Adison staring at the elevator. Open. And occupied by an angry, bloody, ZOMBIE POSTMAN. Flicker to outside Together Addison’s window... EXT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - STREET - DAY Together Addison looks way down to the street below. A ZOMBIE PENSIONER is holding a metal bar, banging it against a street sign over and over and over again. TOGETHER ADDISON I said hey! I’m trying to have a birthday here! The zombie looks up. Together Addison throws a brick and clocks her right in the head. She goes down. INT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - ADDISON’S OFFICE - DAY Together Addison smiles. TOGETHER ADDISON Ruin my birthday, will you? She turns and walks back out to the lobby. As she does, we flicker between champagne and celebrations and the zombie postman attack -- all of them frantically beating at him to fend him off. Back and forth, back and forth, celebration and attack, attack and celebration. We PAN OUT to that sunrise again. ADDISON (V.O.) I’m not sure which I prefer. END OF TEASER "Episode Title" 5. ACT ONE EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY Welcome to the post-apocalypse - debris, burnt-out cars, a skyline of occasionally gutted buildings. Los Angeles. A Zombie Bodybuilder (Muscle Beach-type, just in a pair of shorts) tries to balance himself on rollerblades. Up, and he falls. Up, and he falls to his knees. They’re scraped, almost to the bone actually -- clearly he’s been at this for a while. Eventually, he manages to right himself. We hear a CAR ENGINE, high speed, approach. Zombie Bodybuilder has time to look with some form of vague curiosity before -- CRACK! -- a 150 horse- power baseball bat caves his skull in. AMELIA (O.S.) Wooooooooo! INT. SUV - DAY AMELIA -- in the back seat -- pulls her head back in the window, wiping down the bloody bat with a towel. AMELIA You see that? You see that? ON CHARLOTTE, driving, calm. CHARLOTTE I saw. Very nice, Shepherd. AMELIA (looking back) Is he-- SHELDON -- in the back seat too, next to Amelia -- looks out the rear window. SHELDON Yes. Very much so. Nice shot, sweetie. AMELIA What did I tell you about calling me NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM-- (she grabs him, smiling -- a passionate kiss) "Episode Title" 6. CHARLOTTE Alright there, kids. We should go back for those blades. SHELDON (pulling out of the kiss) Aren’t they a little slow? CHARLOTTE Don’t need to be fast, Shelley. Just need to be faster than. Charlotte does a nifty turn with the SUV. AMELIA Stop. CHARLOTTE Got some canoodling to finish? Amelia doesn’t respond, just points out the window. EXT. LOS ANGELES STREET - DAY A huge sign has been painted on the end wall of a store - “ALIVE? PREGNANT? WE CAN HELP. LEAVE DETAILS.” FOCUS ON the bottom corner, where fresh paint marks a name - “ELEANOR - 815 GENESSEE.” INT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - KITCHEN - DAY Addison -- the Together Addison, the nicely dressed Addison -- plays with her last bite of cake. As she drifts, images. Letters again, a child’s shoe -- staring into the lobby, we flicker to that day again... INT. OCEANSIDE WELLNESS - LOBBY - DAY ADDISON (V.O.) The first guy, I mean, my first encounter, was a postman. Which seemed sort of nice. I mean, fitting, not nice. Six months ago. Flicker to... NAOMI What the hell was that? "Episode Title" 7. Naomi, Addison, Cooper and Sam - standing over the body of the postman. His bag is open, letters spilling everywhere. COOPER We killed him. NAOMI (dropping a bloody paperweight) Or... I... SAM We-- did you see him? He was-- ADDISON Sick. SAM Bitey. Is everyone... Everyone takes a moment to check their arms, legs... nothing. They look at each other, at the body, at each other again. What the hell are they supposed to-- PETE Guys, have you seen the... (coming out of his office, and spotting the body) ...news? NAOMI Pete, I-- PETE Is that one of them? COOPER One of what? SLAM! Flicker back to... Addison jumps up, leaving her last slice of cake in the kitchen as-- AMELIA Got a live one! She and Sheldon come through the stairwell doors, helping a heavily pregnant woman -- ELEANOR KOCH, early 40s -- to a bench. ELEANOR I’m fine. I’m-- "Episode Title" 8. She stops -- VARIOUS WOMEN, mostly pregnant, have poked their heads out of different rooms. Watching her. ELEANOR (CONT’D) I’m fine. AMELIA She’s got a bite on her stomach. ADDISON (a little worried, but comforting) I see. Hi there... ELEANOR Eleanor. Eleanor Koch. ADDISON Well hello there Eleanor. My name’s Addison Montgomery, I’m a neo-natal specialist here at Oceanside Wellness. (to Sheldon) Where’s Charlotte? SHELDON She-- CHARLOTTE I’m fine, Montgomery. REVEAL Charlotte coming in the stairwell - fine, holding a bottle of whiskey and... five months pregnant, bulging out of her dress. ELEANOR It doesn’t hurt, really. ADDISON I know. (pulling back Eleanor’s t- shirt to see the graze) Looks fairly superficial, and as you probably know the pregnancy insulates you from any... ELEANOR Zombification? ADDISON We prefer the term “organically challenged”. (MORE) "Episode Title" 9. ADDISON (CONT'D) Anyway, bites near the stomach or, more accurately, the baby, are something we tend to get a little concerned about, so why don’t we pop into my exam room. (she helps Eleanor up) ELEANOR (as they walk away) What is this place? Cooper comes bursting out of the stairwell. COOPER We got another one? CHARLOTTE (a quick peck on the cheek, then...) Rein in your Clydesdales, dear, Addison’s checking her out. Got you a present though. (she hands him the whiskey) COOPER (examining the label) Wow. Where’d you get this? CHARLOTTE Passed a liquor store. COOPER You need to be more careful. CHARLOTTE I need to be more inebriated. One of the other pregnant women, LACEY -- late teens, overweight -- approaches. Another, RHONA -- mid 20s, skinny but with a big nine-month belly -- hangs back, shy. LACEY Who is she? CHARLOTTE How am I supposed to know? AMELIA SHELDON (CONT’D) (from the bench, (from the bench, kissing) kissing) Eleanor! Eleanor! "Episode Title" 10.
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