#28 Always Zdarma! whirled: www.think.cz

The Countdown:0 2 9 days until 2000! MARL BORO galloises THREE ELECTED THE

PRŮVODCE VA·ÍM SVĚTEM/YOUR GUIDE TO IT ALL

SKUPINA VINÍKŮ/THOSE TO BLAME č. 28 ISSN.1212-13098 Publishers

Creative Director: Džefrí Benét Editorial Director: Nikki Kirchner Shaolin Master: Pepé Král

Vedoucí redaktor: Jarka Fricová Redaktor: Eva Kolářová Associate Art Director: Yenda Maxa Propagace a Produkce: Bára Nováková Chief Agitator: Karl Rotstan Cover Art by: Michael Linnea Hlavní přispěvatelé/Senior Contributors Dj Spejbl, Jeffree Benét, Bob JR Dobbs, Jarka Fricová, Blanka Huňátová, Milkmoney Jones, Ph.D., Keith Kirchner, Efka Kolářová, Benedikt Laube, Mike 696, Thurston Moore, Tim Otis, Colin Shea, Paul Schnieder, Mario Torero, Jonas Weiss, Alex Zaitchik PFIEKLADATELÉ/TRANSLATORS Jarka Fricová FOTOGRAFOVÉ/PHOTOGRAPHERS Jeffree Benét, Efka Kolářová, TomበMartinek,Tim Otis, That guy with the camera FOTOPRÁCE/PHOTO LAB Ultralab & Syn 02/312 1197

How to reach us: fone: 02/9000 8115 fax: 02/2425 2123 www.think.cz Email: [email protected] Fax letters or mail them to: J. Benét, Poste Restante, Jindři‰ská 14, Praha 1, 110 00 Czech Republic

We have too much free time on our hands… Feel free to send us plenty of rantings, excuses, recipes, threats, complaints, unmarked bills in small denominations (we'll make change) to Central HQ of THINK (add @terminal.cz to the end of THINK to write to us). We can also let you know about the magazine when they come out. We promise, if (dis)respectful, we'll get back to you ASAP if there's nothing good on TV.

„You have lost many brain cells while looking at this magazine“

„Při listování tímto magazínem jste ztratili mnoho mozkov˘ch buněk“

5 LETTERS FROM OUR CRACK SMOKIN’ READERS Hey, Think peoples, and Praha peoples in general. This is Jeremy writing, the singer and guitar player - you know, Jeremy Saxon Band, used to be Old Town Squares. Listen, it's been good and I'll be leaving now, going to sow my blue seed back home in San Francisco. I want to thank all of you before I go, not only for helping to support the band during these years, and not only for coming up to us during the gigs and telling us you liked what we were doing. The main thanks is for those moments, when the volume was right and the feeling was right and the groove was on and the eye contact happened; and no one had to say anything about it because everybody knew. We couldn't have done that without you, you were part of it and it was like the best part of sex, when the personalities are indis- tinguishable and the rhythm rules. I grew up in this town, as far as I'll ever grow up. I was a wannabe when I came here, and step by step, night by night and song by song while you were watching and drinking and thinking and listening and not listen- ing, I've honed it down and worked it up, to the point where I'm doing damn near exactly what I want to be doing. My fantasy has become my real life. Thank you for helping. Thank you for being here, HUMANIFESTO and thank you for being beautiful. If you want to come by and say so long, we'll still HUMANIFESTO be at Scarlett's on Thursdays and Red Hot on Saturdays, these last few weeks until the Millenium, plus the assorted other few shows I'm off to newer pastures now, and I Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or hope to see you all at some point. Wish me well, as I do you. nation, or so said Oscar Wilde, and it applies so poignantly to Think of me fondly, as I do you. And keep on looking forward. My love to you all, our situation today. Ten years after the fall of State Jeremy: [email protected] Controlled Economics (State Controlled Everything Else still exists, everywhere), the walls within our minds still stand Ahoj Jarko, strong, blinding us to the freedoms which we really have, and Díky za rychlou odpoveì. NedokáÏe‰ si pfiedstavit, jak moc se na ãasáky tû‰ím. Tady really always had. Ah, but those who misread, who can’t see vÛbec nic tak skvûl˘ho není. A taky Hele, kdyÏ jsem vidûla první ãíslo, pfii‰lo mi, Ïe to freedom for what it is, wonder what freedom really means; urãitû dûlaj stejn˘ lidi jako Think. Moc se mi to líbilo. Mám ale problém ãasopisy instant credit? Ah, more freedom is on its way. Just sign here shánût, protoÏe v Praze jsem sice dost ãasto, ale ne pofiád. Teì si oba urãitû pfied- on the dotted line. platím a budu se nedoãkavû tû‰it na nová ãísla. Mûj se krásnû a hodnû optimismu, - Many people are wondering out loud, taking wagers even, Marcela on the chances of our entry to the EU; the odds are against Milá Marcelo, Moc Ti dûkuju za TvÛj zájem a slova, která potû‰í. Se shánûním it; not geographically; not historically; but culturally and ãasopisÛ to není lehké, já vím, Think je vÏdycky hned rozebrán, kdyÏ se objeví. soulfully. For freedom doesn’t mean free. Freedom is very Pfiedplatné je nejlep‰í zpÛsob. I pro v‰echny ostatní, ktefií nevûdí, jak na to: kontaktu- costly, for it means awareness of one’s actions, of the results jte nás na telefonním ãísle redakce, které je uvedeno v tiráÏi. -Zdravím, Jarka and the consequences; it means responsibility. It doesn’t mean fuck over everybody else, or ‘me first’, it doesn’t mean Hello, cultivate friendships until you can spend them, it means you I am a student here in Prague, but I was born in Canada. I just wanted to tell you are now free to be the best you that you can be. -J. Benét that Think is the best magazine ever! I love all of the party pics. And the stories. I think it should win a Grammy award! But I also think you should put in more Well, it’s December already and therefor time to get into articles and less advertisements. I really like the magazine, but think it would be a the X-mas spirit. I recommend watching more TV, obeying whole lot better if you would put more stories. Also I think you should put in less every advertisement (on purpose or not), and joining aimless articles about sex relationships because not very many people even care to read this. throngs of thousands of people for no real good reason and I think there should be more about friendship, family relations and the environment. spending all the money you don’t have on stuff people won’t Well that is just my opinion, thanks for letting me express it. Anyways, I just wanted use—except as second hand gifts for next year. Think fond to say keep up the good work. -Marielle Evans thoughts of your family far away and enjoy your carp. Do they give Grammy Awards for magazines? Sign us up! Thanks for the sugges- Gift ideas: gold, frankincense and myrrh. tions, but I don’t know about the sex part, seems to me everyone’s interested in sex. What to do at this time of year besides place your bets— How old are you anyway? Because if you’re underage, you shouldn’t even know about cynicism vs. idealism? Wasn’t this somebody’s birthday once? sex. What was his name again? Consume? Consume… that’s right, good boy. Isn’t there a football game on? I particularly enjoy From Noel the commercials. Trained professionals who know me well, Attention Praguers; my guitars and bass were stolen from my flat by breakers-in convincing me to spend more of my proverbial wealth. with taste, I guess - and respect they took put them all in cases. So if you happen Cynicism 1, Idealism 0. The fans go wild. Don’t get me wrong, to pass a music shop perhaps you could look in and if you see the bass of course - I love football. buy it for me, or reserve it and ring me or something - cos it didn't cost that much Remember the story about a man named Jed, a poor moun- money - but it is unique - we think - and you might even recognise the guitars, taineer who barely kept his family fed? Well, Jed’s dead, whatever. Fridays will find us with borrowed instruments making the most of what baby, Jed’s dead. Don’t mourn — I’m sure he died peacefully we can - and singing as we piss in the wind of natural causes. The best thing to do is distract yourself love and laborious losing laughter, [email protected] somehow — occupy your cursory free time with some good ol’ fashioned fantasy. Ambition. Creativity. More TV. Believe the Miluju Think! Hype. OK, never mind, just shoot me. Je naprosto v pohodû! Díky za geniální moÏnost fiíct naplno svÛj názor... Forever Cynicism 2, Idealism 0. Yours, Dianne What exactly is this idealism thing anyway? God forbid if Jestli jsi navÏdy na‰e, vyjádfii naplno svÛj názor tfieba nûjak˘m ãlánkem. Zkus we don’t lie, or cheat, or steal, how could we stay on our toes cokoli, co Tû zajímá nebo ‰tve a po‰li to do redakce., uvidíme. Adresa je v tiráÏi. Díky. without these qualities? (not yours, of course!). Tû‰ím se, Jarka It’s like social ballet, enjoy the show, but watch your purse. Be careful not to philosophize with strangers, they’ll only Caf Jarka, predict the apocalyptic Fires of God or something like that. Mam jedneho kamo‰a zo Starej Turej a tomu sa odvtedy, co nezohnal novy Think Well, I say, let it come and burn off these assholes so we can obãas snívajú také sny, Ïe stojí pri novinovom stánku a práve dovezú v dodávke have our party in Peace. Stranger things have happened, you “Think” nové ãíslo...to neklamem...naozaj... -Jaro know? Ahoj Jaro, vzhledem k tomu, Ïe se Think na Slovensko dodává horko tûÏko, Cynicism 2, Idealism 1. The game is young, have a Merry doporuãuji, aby TvÛj kamarád realizoval své sny a Think si u nás pfiedplatil. Nemusí Christmas. -Brian Garvey pak snít marnû. Pro útûchu, mnû se o Thinku taky ãasto zdá. Dobrou noc pfieje Jarka. 6 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 WHY DON'T SHEEP SHRINK WHEN IT [email protected] Not sure who is still around at Think... but I would love to know what's up both with the mag and the town... Thinking about coming back after this Peace-Corps stint... after 2 year of tropical rain forest I will be ready for some brown coal and snow! Hey is think On-line? -Peace, Glenn Tosten DJ Pierre (LOKO MIA, PORTUGAL), KRM Yup, our lame site is still up, with an update coming soon. But if you want to see more current info, all the latest think stuff can be found at www.globopolis.com. 17/12/99 (PARIS), Groove Logic (WAX)

Milá redakce, Prosil bych o laskavé zaslání informace ohlednû moÏnosti kde získat vበpfiinej- FOR A men‰ím inspirující a oãi otevírající ãasopis (Think samozfiejmû). Je-li moÏno zdarma FLEETING MOMENT ãi je tfieba pfiedplatného. První a zatím poslední ãíslo jsem náhodou objevil zdarma v podniku Lávka u Karlova mostu. Dûkuji. THINGS WILL BE PERFECT. Ahoj, takov˘ch Ïádostí dostáváme skuteãnû mnoho a opût musím zopakovat, Ïe NO CELL PHONES jedinou spolehlivou cestou, jak získat v‰echna ãísla Thinku, je pfiedplatné. Stojí 400 korun za rok a staãí nám je poslat sloÏenkou na adresu, kterou sdûlíme na telefonním NO MUSCLE HEADS ãísle uvedeném v tiráÏi. Je pravda, Ïe Think je k mání zdarma po praÏsk˘ch klubech, NO CLOSE TALKERS, AND THE kavárnách a na speciálních akcích, ale nikdy není záruka, Ïe se k nûmu dostane‰ vãas. TakÏe mohu skuteãnû doporuãit jenom to pfiedplatné. Mûj se a ozvi se, -Jarka MUSIC WILL MOVE US. A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, LIKE LOOKING Dear Editors, THROUGH BLUE CURACOS I really love your magazine. I share it with my friends and I can't wait until the UNDER ELECTRIC CANDLELIGHT. next one! Thanks a lot for making such a great magazine! — HoneyBunny BASKING IN A NEON GLOW SO Y2K Paranoia TAINTED LOVE. YOU’LL SAY, Some really interesting comments on Y2K in your past few issues, but I'd like to „DAMN, IT WAS GOOD WHILE put in my two crowns worth. First off, if at all possible, you shouldn't fly on or around the Millennium. That's when the FAA computer systems will have their IT LASTED!“ problems. No one really knows for sure if it will work or if planes will crash. They do know that the air traffic control computers are so outdated, they've been running them with the year set to the 1960s for some time now. Being in the biz, I see the paranoia about Y2K causing more problems and chaos than processing errors. It's not like computers will simply stop running... they'll just spit out crap until they are fixed. I'm much more afraid of paranoid people than I Ò PrÛhonu 3, rezervace am of any processing error. Like people setting themselves on fire in public places Praha 7 na telefon and other people carrying signs saying the end is near. I bet that there will be lots Hole‰ovice 8387 0522 more mass suicides and terrorist attacks before the end of the year. It all seems kinda silly, given the fact that our whole date system is completely made up. But I suppose if enough people believe, then it must be true. Most computers will not 'crash'; they will simply process the data incorrectly. This could mean some serious billing headaches for everyone, but the problem is limited to things that do date comparisons. American banks and other financial institutions we're required to be Y2K compliant by the middle of this year or the gov't. would shut them down. They didn't. The fact that your PC might wakeup with Jan 1900 on New Year's Day is just the tip of the iceberg. Billing problems are also fairly insignificant. Very few people realize just to what extent the financial markets depend on current data about the assets and liabilities of corporations. Those in turn depend on properly time-coded transactions in databases. Markets could fail. People could loose jobs just because the billing data is wrong. Computers also operate all kinds of industrial automation controls, so are power plants and railways. If that 8:15 doesn't get there on time or smart elevators cease to function or you lose your cushy job you'll have something else to bitch about. "Why didn't they warn us?!!" Granted this is not the end of the world but it might be the end of some pretty significant things. Some people believe January 1, 2000 marks the day of apocalyp- tic destruction. Stock up on freeze-dried pea soup while you still can. See for your- self at http://www.garynorth.com/ -James Golden Thanks for the warning, knock the special knock on my bunker door if you wanna get in, but you’ll have to bring your own beer and something good to read (no Prague Posts!). Actually, even us Mac guys are not safe, I read a report which says that the Mac OS goes kaput in 2008. Better late than never, I guess.

THINK magazine is powered and The box said created „Will somebody 'Requires Windows under the help me move 98, or better.' So I this dead bought a Macintosh influence of: revolution?“

7 THE SOONER ALL THE ANIMALS ARE EXTINCT, THE SOONER WE'LL FIND THEIR MONEY. SUCK ON THESE! Fit centrum Arbesovo náměstí Na Smíchovû se hrozivû rychle do v˘‰e zvedá gigantické centrum Zlat˘ Andûl a v duchu pfietváfiení celé dûlnické ãtvrti se vylupují i jiné, o mnoho zajímavûj‰í a pÛvabnûj‰í novoty. Jednou z nich je nové supermod- erní fitcentrum, kde se s radostí vypou‰tí du‰e z tûla. V posilovnû, pfii squashi nebo v saunû. Odpoãinete si jenom pfii opékání se v solárku. Chcete-li hrát squash, mÛÏete tak ãinit od pondûlí do pátku od 7.00 do 23.00. Ceny se li‰í podle ãasu, ráno je trochu draωí, pfied desátou dopolední na vás budou chtít 240Kã (studenti 120Kã), pak do ãtyfi odpoledne 180Kã (studenti 90Kã) a do jedenácté veãerní a víkendy 270 Kã, uÏ beze slevy. Posilovat mÛÏete za pade kaÏd˘ v‰ední den od 9.00 do 22.00. SmaÏit se v solárku za 6 korun za minutu a potit se za sedm pûtek na hodinu je moÏné ve v‰ední dny od 9.00 do 23.00. O víkendech v‰echno funguje od 14.00 do 23.00. Na v‰echny akce kromû posilování se musíte pfiedem objednat na tel. 57326041, kde také bez problémÛ obdrÏíte bliωí informace.

Fitcentrum Arbes, Kofienského ul. 12, Praha 5.

„Plus nebo minus, ale vÏdy Alpinus“ je heslo, se kter˘m se spoleãnost vrhla do propagace její zimní kolekce. V novû otevfieném obchodû na Václaváku, vás zahrnou horolezeck˘m a trekkingov˘m oble ãe ním z nejrÛznûj‰ích druhÛ pletenin, spod ního prádla a triãek, obleãkami na jog ging a aerobic, cyklistick˘m obleãením, vãetnû doplÀkÛ od rukavic pfies batohy, Trochu svûtla do podzimní ‰edi… jach tafisk˘m obleãením na rozboufiená …urãitû vnese jeden z pÛvabn˘ch pfiedmûtÛ urãen˘ch hlavnû k obvese- mofie i klidná jezera. Obleãením na sníh lení va‰í du‰e zniãené pfiedvánoãním a podzimním stresem. Potû‰te sebe z nejkvalitnûj‰ích termo-izolaãních nebo své blízké barevn˘m kvûtináãkem, sladk˘m pol‰táfikem, dfievûn˘m materiálÛ se jistû zavdûãí lyÏníkÛm i koníkem, ruãnû pomalovanou krabicí, barevnou svíãkou nebo hrneãkem prknafiÛm. na pofiádnou dávku domácího kafe. Paní majitelka Brichtová ví jak na Pro kotlíkáfie je pfiipravena solidní kolekce nás, lidové ceny a úsmûv, to v‰echno vás potká v nenápadnû zastrãeném tábornického nádobí, vafiiãÛ s lampami obchÛdku plném kouzel. A pozor, teì se soustfiedí i na vánoãní dekorace. i zapalovaãi, stanÛ a spacích pytlÛ. Mezi VaÏte tam cestu a pohlaìte si du‰iãku. velk˘m v˘bûrem batohÛ vhodn˘ch k ho ro - lezec k˘m v˘stupÛm, cestování i do mûsta, Dekor, prodejna bytov˘ch doplÀkÛ, Kofienského 12, Praha ne minete kolekci pro va‰e robátka. Pfiijìte se pfiesvûdãit! Akce Mikulá‰ská Na Hájku Rádi bychom vám pomohli s nápadem, jak v krásném pfievánoãním ãase potû‰it va‰e ratolesti, a sice pozváním na akci Mikulá‰ská Na Hájku, která se koná v nedûli 5.12.99 od 15:00 v klubu Hájek. K vidûní zde bude napfiíklad flétnov˘ koncert ÏákÛ tfiídy Marie Hanákové, divadelní pfiedstavení a chybût MAGIX Dance Maker nebude ani Mikulá‰ská nadílka. If you're new to the electronic do-it-yourself music scene, or just love jamming to the phatest and bestest beats around, then the new MAGIX DANCE MAKER is the tool you need. Like previous MAGIX programs, The DANCE MAKER has a very user-friendly and intuitive interface which allows for quick results that are often better than bad. Everybody finally has the ability to create orig- inal tunes, even if they lack musical experience, but that doesn't mean you're gonna be the next Fat Boy Slim. But you can try. All you have to do is drag and drop the music samples into one of the 16 tracks, add your own unique effects and before you know it, your gig at the Roxy is on its way! But it doesn't stop there - if you're into making freaky visuals, you can arrange video and The highlights: graphics and sync them to your beats. DANCE MAKER is loaded with k Up to 16 tracks available for audio, midi, and video thousands of royalty-free audio and video clips, so copy, right? files, supporting the Kodak picture CD-ROM format. The MAGIX DANCE MAKER includes all of the technological features k Complete midi and real-time video integration of the much more expensive MUSIC MAKER V2000 (audio & video with timeline. Also a studio real-time mixer with integration and effects), but has a new-user interface and focuses 5-Band equalizer. on the dance styles of House, Techno and Trance. But with practice, k Numerous professional effects like surround, you can overcome all limitations. re-sampling, time stretching, pitch shifting, etc. MAGIX Dance Maker began shipping this summer, and can be k DANCE MAKER offers an additional recording function purchased through MAGIX Direct: for $29.99 To order online: to create your own samples (such as vocals). k For additional music samples, MAGIX provides www.magix.net/main/usa/products/consumer/dmaker/interface. a library of 12 sound-pool CDs, all in different styles.

8 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 NEVER DRIVE FASTER THAN YOUR ANGELS CAN FLY

NICOLAS CAGE MAY STRUM ON MANDOLIN CON AIR star NICOLAS CAGE is in negotiations to play the lead in the movie version of the smash hit novel CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN. Although the contract has yet to be signed, Cage is desperate to do the World War II-era love story which will be directed by NOTTING HILL helmer ROGER MICHELL. It's set to go before the cameras next March (2000) in Italy. The film, based on LOUIS DE BERNIERES British novel, is a DOCTOR ZHIVAGO type love story, set on the idyllic Greek island of Cephalonia during World War II. Cage would play Captain Antonio Corelli, a sophisticated Italian officer—and musician— who commands the isle's garrison after the Italians invaded Greece. But British producers WORKING TITLE might have to stump up more cash than they intended as Cage recently began production on the thriller GONE IN 60 SECONDS - his first $20 million movie. Working Title can only authorise a $25 million budget under their co-production deal with Universal Pictures and will find themselves in Los Angeles begging for more funding if Cage won't drop his price. Blow the wad! Got an extra 50,000Kã or so laying around? The stock market been exceptionally kind to you this year and you wanna spend it all before Y2K wipes out your on-line account? Well, why not get yourself a kick-ass bottle of bubbly water? This limited-edition blend of six Grand Crus from the excep- tionally nice years of ‘85, ‘88, ‘89 and ‘90 has been carefully prepared by the world-famous vintners, Ruinart. SWATCH L’Exclusive de Ruinart is avail- able only in magnum size, and comes nestles in a hand-made walnut case, lined with leather white cushions like a cute little coffin. And if you happen to be at Karl’s house this New Year’s Eve, be sure you’ll get just a sip or two before it gets passed around the room and becomes history like the millennium it was made in. Science fiction x-ray device is here

Special effects wizards awed audiences when a gun toting Arnold Swarzenegger was exposed by a full body x-ray scanner in the movie Total Recall. Now the American Security & Control company is bringing a similar technology into our Brave New World. ASC, worldwide distributors of CONPASS X-1280, the first high speed scanning X-Ray detector designed specifically for through the body analysis of fully clothed human beings, allows a fully clothed individual to be totally x-rayed and analyzed within 10 seconds without any fuss, muss or time-wasting things like warrants and physical searches, including body cavities. It works using a very narrow fan shaped scanning x-ray beam characterized by extremely low x-ray exposure, not exceeding the normal environmental radiation dose associated with a one-hour airplane flight. People are carried across the beam on a moving sidewalk as commonly used in airports and the computer enhanced x-ray view is ready for analysis within 10 seconds. The CONPASS is the only such system that is safe for the examination of humans and animals possibly carrying contraband, like drugs or other items commonly hidden in clothing or in the body. New BodySearch systems are being installed at six international airports around the United States before the big Y2K travel crunch. The machines will be installed at the Los Angeles International Airport; Hartsfield International Airport, Georgia; Newark International Airport; JFK International Airport; Houston Intercontinental Airport; and Washington Dulles International Airport.The unit sells for $450,000. including installation training. (Freedom costs extra.)

Visit this company’s website at http://www.wizard.net/~amsec 9 IF WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING; THEN WHY DO WE KEEP SCORE?

Mercedes broadsided by a pensioner’s and pass them up at foreign-owned supermarkets. „Trabant“. 43) You try to pay a traffic fine on the spot and get 15) You’re not sure what to do you arrested for attempted bribery. when the traffic cop only asks you to 44) You see a car behind you with flashing lights pay the official fine. and think it’s some politician. 16) You wonder what the tax inspec- 45) You don’t feel guilty about not paying on the tor really wants when she says every- tram or metro. thing is in order. 46) You can sleep through a hangover without 17) You give a 10% tip only if the curtains on your windows. waiter has been really exceptional. 47) The elevator aroma seems reassuring somehow. 18) You plan your vacation around 48) You no longer think washing clothes in the those times of the year when the hot bathtub is an inconvenience. water is turned off. 49) You can heat water on the stove and shower 19) You are relieved when the guy with it in less than 10 minutes. standing next to you on the tram 50) You have to take E-S-L lessons before you go actually uses a handkerchief. home. 20) You are envious because your 51) Your sister writes to you about the best prime rib expatriate friend has smaller door she’s ever had and you can’t remember what it keys than you have. looks or tastes like. 21) You ask for no ice in your drink. 52) When you know the Prague Metro better than 22) You start using the word „no“ you know the subway system back home. when you mean „yes“. 53) You start buying Czech toilet paper. 23) You go mushroom and berry 54) You never smile in public when you’re alone. picking out of necessity instead of 55) You know the official at the metro station/ - recreation. airport/border, post/post, office/railway, station 24) You been drinking beer every day. etc., is going to say „Ne“, but you argue anyway. 25) You know what Kafka’s favorite 56) When you save tea bags of Yorkshire Tea foto: J Benét brought over especially from home to use for a second cup later.... he year 2000 is now here, and what 57) When that strange pungent mix of odorous stale YOU KNOW sawdust, sweat and grime in the metro makes you has changed since ol’ freedom took T feel safe and at home.... over, and what remains the same? YOU’VE BEEN 58) You are in awe that after 3 days home your I ran into my friends Hunter and Marek shoes are still clean. on the tram recently, they’d just come 59) (For women) When you dress up in your best IN THE CZECH outfits for work and ride the metro. back from laying candles at Národní tfiídá 60) When the word „salad“ ceases for you to have on Revolution Day. It was understandably REPUBLIC TOO anything to do with lettuce. more packed than nor mal, being the 10th 61) When mayonnaise becomes your dressing LONG WHEN: of choice. anniversary and all that, so they were 62) When you begin paying attention to peoples’ being extra cautious, keeping the knap- floors and can distinguish the quality of linoleum sacks under control. But as they left they and/or parquet, and thus determine social status, realized they had been pick pocketed by color was. taste, and income e.g. embezzled, earned, pension, 26) You change into baãkory (slippers) and wash your unpaid, etc.). perhaps the stealthiest thief. The total hands as soon as you walk into your apartment. 63) You get excited when the dentist smiles and has cost; one mobile fone; about $100 cash; 27) You take a trip to Dresden and think you’ve been all his own teeth. and the sense of how far we have come. to heaven. 64) You can spark a debate by asking for a decent 28) You start thinking of black bread as a good Mexican restaurant. chaser for slivovice. 65) You do all your shopping at kiosks. 1) You don’t think things are that bad right now. 29) You drink the brine from empty pickle jars. 66) You judge the Czech Republic’s chances of getting 2) You have to think twice about throwing away 30) You can read barcodes, and you start shopping into the EU by the availability of Planters Cheese Balls. an empty instant coffee jar. for products by their country of production. 67) You voluntarily take a stroll in the park, Staro - 3) You always carry a plastic shopping bag with you 31) It doesn’t seem strange to pay the cops 500Kã for pramen beer in hand, on a sub-zero day. „just in case“. crossing the double line while making an 68) You laugh at Czech jokes. 4) You start saying he/she is „on the meeting“ illegal U-turn, and 800Kã for a micro-waved dish of 69) You actually get these jokes. (instead of „at the“ or „in a“ meeting). frozen vegetables at some pretentious restaurant. 70) You think it’s too hot, no matter what season 5) You save table scraps for all the cats living in 32) You know more than 60 Marketas. you return in. your courtyard. 33) You give your business card to social acquain- 71) You specify „no bubbles“ when asking for 6) When crossing the street, you sprint. tances. mineral water. 7) In winter, you choose your route by determining 34) You have to check your passport for an arrival- 72) Your friends back home have to keep reminding which icicles are least likely to impale you in in-Prague date. you that the word is „restroom“, not „toilet“. the head. 35) ‘Kolik’, ‘pivo’ and ‘dobry’ become integral parts 73) Back home, you’re dumbstruck when a high 8) You are impressed with the new model Skoda car. of your vocabulary. school or college student waits on you with a 9) You argue with a taxi driver about a fare of 36) You’ve been to Germany at least a dozen times smile, reciting a 90 second spiel on the „specials of 70Kã ($2) to go 2 kilometers in a blizzard. for passport stamps. the day“ and displays complete knowledge of the 10) You actually know and CARE whether Sparta 37) Cigarette smoke becomes ‘tolerable’. contents of each menu item... won last night. 38) You changed apartments 6 times in 6 months. 74) You tip very little, even for great service. 11) You win a shoving match with an old Babushka 39) You no longer feel like going to your „home“ 75) You are surprised to see that the cooks in a for a place in line and you are proud of it. country. Chinese restaurant are actually Chinese. 12) You are pleasantly surprised when there is toilet 40) You remember how many kilos you weigh - but 76) When you realize that all the above and paper in the WC at work. forget how many pounds. the other messages here are what you love 13) You notice that Flathead’s cell phone is smaller 41) A gallon of gasoline or milk seems like a foreign about The Czech Republic, that you’ve been than yours is and you’re jealous. concept. here long enough to feel at home and wonder 14) Your day seems brighter after seeing that goon’s 42) You no longer miss the foods you grew up with, whether you’ll ever be able to fit back in the old 10 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 TEXT: BLANKA HU≈ÁTOVÁ, FOTO: JEFFREE BENÉT

a vyãerpaná - finito. Základní stfiihy, bez kter˘ch by se ‰vadleny neobe‰ly, byly jiÏ vymy‰leny, teì se jenom dÛvtipnû pozmûÀují, coÏ je také velmi zásluÏná práce, ale nic stoprocentnû nového z toho vznikonout nemÛÏe. Vezmûte si taková 60.léta, doba zkracování. Tenkrát to byl skuteãnû pfievrat v módû, pfieváÏná vût‰in Ïen do té doby mûla dlouhé vlasy a dlouh˘mi suknûmi vymetaly chodníky. MoÏná si chtûly u‰etfiit práci s péãí o své vlasy a nekoneãn˘m praním vûãnû ‰pinav˘ch sukní, ale kaÏdopádnû to byl zlom a od té doby se nosí suknû v‰ech délek, jiné délky zkrátka neexistují ani v tomto ani v pfií‰tím tisíciletí. TakÏe tvÛrcÛm na‰ich odûvÛ, ktefií urãují smûr módy, nezb˘vá nic jiného, neÏli vybírat tu správnou délku suknû pro kaÏdé období, zpestfiit základní stfiih ve‰kerého obleãení a v‰echno to s citem zkombinovat, dát dohromady témûfi nemoÏné. Doufejme jen, Ïe tuto úlohu budou návrháfii plnit stejnû tak dobfie v pfií‰tím tisíciletí, jako to dûlali doposud. Jolana Izbická v jednom rozhovoru tvrdila, Ïe millenium pfiinese nûco nového do svûta módy a Faux-Pas bude první, kdo nám to ukáÏe. Ty nové návrhy nám nepfiinese ono millenium, ale módní návrháfii inspirováni událostí zmûny tisíciletí. Nemûli bychom jim brát zaslouÏen˘ kredit a dát ho nûjakému ãíslu, které samo o sobû nic neznamená. Ov‰em jedna zmûna, která by se mohla v pfií‰tím tisíciletí vyskytnout, mû pfiece jen napadá. Pfiesunout pozornost na muÏe. V minulém století se svût módy toãil pouze kolem Ïen, pár kolekcí pro muÏe se kaÏdou sezónu objevilo, ale pfievratné mnoÏství to opravdu nebylo, a tak by si v pfií‰tím tisíciletí mohli vymûnit role. KoneckoncÛ, kdyÏ Ïeny jednu sezónu nosily pánské obleky, proã by pro zmûnu pánové netrajdali po mûstû v nûjak˘ch suk˘nkách nebo aspoÀ hodnû ulítl˘ch obleãcích? Vût‰ina módních ãasopisÛ bude pro muÏe a my budeme jenom pfiihlíÏet a fiíkat, jak moc jim to sekne. Urãitû se nûco takového stane, jinak bude rok 2000, co se módy t˘ká, pekelnû nudn˘, a to by módní návrháfii nepfienesli pfies srdce. MÛÏou vym˘‰let bláznivé kolekce a svoji extravaganci omluvit nov˘m milleniem, pfií‰tích pár let jim zkrátka projde v‰echno. Vlastnû se na nové tisíciletí moc tû‰ím, jen mû kapánek mrzí, Ïe ho nemÛÏu proÏít celé a b˘t u dal‰ího Co čekáte nás nečeká?

ento rok se pomalinku ch˘lí ke konci, jiÏ mÛÏeme krásnû odpoãítávat dny do pfiechodu. Ale kdo ví, tfieba se v tom novém milleniu stane zázrak a stanu se T konce tohoto tisíciletí a pfiitom asi mnoh˘m z vás bude vrtat hlavou, co nás nesmrtelnou. Myslím, Ïe se má fantazie zaãíná nekontrolovatelnû ubírat opaãn˘m to vlastnû ãeká v novém milleniu, copak magického se to skr˘vá za tou smûrem, neÏ jsem pÛvodnû zam˘‰lela, a tak mi nezb˘vá nic jiného, neÏ vám popfiát dvoutisícovkou. Vlastnû se ani neví, kdy pfií‰tí millenium zaãne, ale uÏ koluje spousta krásné vánoce a ‰Èastn˘ nov˘ rok. A prosím vás, nebláznûte, je to jen Silvestr. názorÛ a teorií, jak˘m smûrem se svût bude ubírat, pokud tedy na‰e planeta neexploduje bûhem onoho v‰emi zmiÀovaného a dlouhodobû plánovaného Silvestra. Nûktefií se pfiipravují na selhání poãítaãÛ, bojí se zkrachování ve‰keré techniky, jiní se netrpûlivû s oãima dokofián tû‰í na nûco velkolepého. Já ov‰em zÛstávám v klidu, nic zázraãného se totiÏ nestane. KaÏd˘ ãeká velk˘ boom, av‰ak nejvût‰í boom, kter˘ nás v‰echny potká, budou rány z otevírání ‰ampaÀského a stfiílení petard, kter˘ch si uÏijeme víc neÏ kdy jindy. Tím to ale hasne, pokud ov‰em nic nechytne, a v‰e ostatní zÛstane nezmûnûné. Pokud se 1.1.2000 ráno, v poledne ãi v podveãer probudíte a svût vám pfiijde zcela jin˘, v‰echno se bude kolem vás toãit, tak to není zázrak, ale kocovina, která zmizí a v‰e bude opût pfii starém. Pravda, technologie se posune neskuteãn˘m tempem kupfiedu, poãítaãe budou dokonalej‰í a dokonalej‰í, polovinu vûcí za vás udûlá nûjaká chytrá ma‰inka, která vám bude ve v‰em pomáhat geniálními radami. Technologie nezná hranice moÏnosti, av‰ak co je na tom nepochopitelné? Má to nûco spoleãného s nov˘m milleniem? Ve‰keré informace získáváme z pfiedchozích studií, které jsou logicky s postupem ãasu úspû‰nûj‰í, dokonalej‰í a tudíÏ i rychlost a kvalita pokusÛ, prÛzkumÛ a vynálezÛ se posune oãividnû kupfiedu. Poslední v˘tvor je vût‰inou nejlep‰í a nejpropracovanûj‰í, nehledû na obor. Nesouvisí to s hodinou, dnem, rokem ani tisíciletím, ve kterém se právû ocitáme, je to otázka v˘voje, kter˘ probíhá jiÏ po staletí. Úspûch technologie by mûl b˘t pfiipisován historii, ne budoucnosti, ta se o nic je‰tû nezaslouÏila. Dal‰í odvûtví, ve kterém se oãekávají nemalé zmûny, je móda. Tak tady bych se pozastavila a pofiádnû zakroutila hlavou. UÏ kroutím, aÏ mû bolí za krkem. Opravdu si myslíte, KINGSCLUB Ïe s pfiicházejícím tisíciletím v‰ichni Calvin Kleinové, Armaniové, Vivien Westwoodové atd. budou k smrti zulíbáni múzou a jejich styl se ruku v ruce s tvofiivostí zaãne ubírat zcela nov˘m, okem nikdy nespatfien˘m, fantazií je‰tû nepfiedstaven˘m smûrem? Opravdu si myslíte, Ïe jen tak, z niãeho nic po Silvestru vymyslí trend, kter˘ tu je‰tû nikdy, tím myslím opravdu vÛbec nikdy, nebyl? Blbost, nejvût‰í Ïvást, kter˘ mé u‰i kdy sly‰ely a mé oãi si naivnû myslely, Ïe by to snad nûkdy i spatfiily. Zajímalo by mû, kdo tuto mánii zaãal ‰ífiit, ale jsem pevnû pfiesvûdãena, Ïe by z nûj byl dokonal˘ manaÏer ãi promotér. TakÏe pokud plánujete nûjakou akci, doporuãuji ho najít a kvalitní akci máte zaruãenou. Pfii pohledu na poslední módní kolekce se mne zmocÀuje pocit, Ïe se na trhu neobjevuje moc novinek. Pochopitelnû je kaÏdou sezónu v módû jiná barva, délka suknû, ‰ífika kalhot, jin˘ styl líãení, úãesÛ atd. Ale vût‰inou jde o opakování jiÏ vymy‰leného, zmûnûno je "pouze" podání. Rozhodnû nechci podceÀovat zruãnost a práci módních návrháfiÛ, které já osobnû velmi uznávám a obdivuji, ale opravdu pochybuji, Ïe by v pfií‰tím tisíciletí objevili novou barvu, to by se jim nepodafiilo ani kdyby mohli létat ãasem sémo támo. Udivují mû novinky, se kter˘mi pfiicházejí, ale zásadní zmûny, které by lidem braly dech jako kdysi, uÏ vytvofiit nemÛÏou. Tato kapitola je dokonale probraná 11 THE PRINTED WORD Timely and Untimely Soutěž Reviews by časopisu Jonas Wiess Think The Tesseract Alex Garland (Penguin 1999) Clockhouse je: With characteristic humility, Alex Garland once described a) DÛm Bílého králíka z knihy his first novel as Tube fodder, Alenka v fií‰i divÛ something for cubicle types to b) Druh˘ díl filmu Clockwork drown themselves in on the Orange train to work. But if The Beach c) Opravna hodin znaãky C&A was accessible enough to be adapted into a Hollywood summer release starring Leo - Správné fie‰ení pro ty, ktefií je‰tû neví: nardo DiCaprio, it was also a very smart book. Even more so Bíl˘ králík nemá dÛm, ale hodinky. Stanley Kubrick nemá zapotfiebí se k tomu the follow-up, which has vracet. Opravny hodin s tím taky nemají co dûlat. Ale Ïádná pofiádná party hurled the mopish Garland into the front ranks of contemporary British writing. nestojí za nic bez C&A Millenium Clockhouse kolekce. He stays with the audience friendly Vonnegut-sized chapters, the sensuous locales, and the crisp pace, but this is no formula, and Garland is no supermarket hack. TakÏe: The Tesseract, set in the slums, high rises, fields and suburbs of the Philippines, is a remarkably deft meditation on the relationship between nostalgia and imagi - stfiíbrná triãka na tûlo nation, between adrenaline and intelligence, between astrophysics and the subatomic klasická ãerÀ particle. With extensive and effective use of the flashback, Garland offers a kaleido- koketující se svÛdnou scopic tour through the lives of gangsters, a suburban housewife, her deformed ãervenou childhood lover, a graduate student, a particle of light, and two Manila street kids, motivy divok˘ch ‰elem all of whom are united in a final point blank climax that feels like a scene from a ocelové Reservoir Dogs through the directing lens of Stephen Hawking. And indeed the book náramky rockerÛ is filmic; Garland possesses a fine yet restrained descriptive capability, a vivid sense saténové hologramy of place that is often overcooked by lesser writers. While the 9mm drama and forays techna into philosophy of science that make up The Tesseract might easily overstep, Garland fosforeskující bílá always manages to pull back, tighten the ideas up and proceed evenly in a fresh a vysoké pasy direction; the final form is neat, near flawless. Only time will tell if comparisons with kosmick˘ lesk a rovnû J.G. Ballard and Graham Greene are justified, but this sophomore effort makes clear stfiiÏené kalhoty that Garland is going to be around for a while. A good thing, that. suknû pfies kalhoty a kapsy pfies suknû masivní zipy a neviditelné knoflíky

Tohle v‰echno a je‰tû víc mÛÏete najít v obchodních domech C&A v Praze, na Václavském nám. 33 a v Brnû, ve Staro - brnûnské ulici 8.

Vánoãní provoz od 1.12. do 19.12. Praha: Po-So—09:00-20:00hod Ne—10:00-18:00hod Filth Brno: Irvine Welsh (Vintage 1999) Po-Pá—09:00-18:30hod Irvine Welsh’s fifth and finest book. In which an Edinburgh detective named So—09:00-18:00hod Bruce Robertson does all the things you expect people to do in an Irvine Welsh novel: Ne—10:00-18:00hod drugs, whores, sound like a lower Leith cabbie, commit extreme acts of violence, talk football, enact endless plots of revenge, and leave you breathless and swirling with disgust and admiration. But unlike previous efforts, including Trainspotting, which present us with compelling but less than fully developed stories, Filth represents an exponential increase in Welshian attention span, with four hundred pages devoted to the fine psychological chiseling of the protagonist, a character who, if not a repre- sentative figure of the age, is not easily forgotten. Bruce Robertson is a pig in every sense of the word; a viscous, racist, woman beating cop with assrash and tapeworms 12 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 READ OR DIE!

whose life is dedicated to the pursuit of cunt and all purpose sadism. You are supposed to hate him, and hate him you do, until in the best tradition of Flannery O’Conner and her Alabama crackers, Welsh pulls off the remarkable job of humanizing him. Not merely with easy references to a miserable childhood—although he was forced to eat coal, watch his baby brother get buried alive, and witness the electrocution of his first love—but also through an impressively nuanced exploration into the British maze of inter- and intra-class dynamics that Welsh knows so well. „from the club to your home listening pleasure, Filth also continues Welsh’s project of charting the changing nature of institutional and class politics in New Labour Britain. This is done in his trademarked raw, piss-on- Good Looking in 1999 & way beyond“ prose style and guided by proud proletarian instincts; the Billy Bragg of the Booker Prize. Welsh is way past needing vindication, but this novel hints of a subtle maturation and a future corpus that promises to be as enduring and refreshing as his the new shop is open! work of the last six years. The next time some snod tries to tell you that Welsh writes ‘entertainment’ and not literature, punch him in the fuckin’ face. www.maximum.cz • On line Maximum Underground catalogue The Prague Review Number 6 (1999) • browsing by genre, label, artist, title The age of the great literary Journal is all but dead. The fragmentation of the reading public and the rise • new release information, always fresh! of in-bred mediocrity as practiced and encouraged within the stale confines of the MFA seminar have both played a part. But whatever the larger causes, Coming March 2000: the days when an editor had to choose between running a Terry Southern or Phillip Roth piece are LTJ Bukem’s debut release, history. So too the artistic essay without footnotes that graced the pages of the little journals before and Logical Progression 4, the institutionalization of intellectual life sometime between V-Day and Sputnik. All of which makes the Distributed lovingly by existence of earnest, non-academic journals today all the more important. One such journal is Prague’s own The Prague Review, Maximum Underground now entering it’s fifth year. TPR has grown impressively over the years and now features internationally known poets, novelists and translators. The latest issue •Maximum more than Underground 5000 INDIE store: titles Jilska at 22, fair continues with the Iberian interests of number 5—which featured modern Portuguese Praha1, patro 1- floor (02/628 4009, 0603 956 217) poets—and offers a selection of criticism on and fiction from the so-called ThePRICES only store in Prague LEGALLY importing new dance singles „generation of ‘98,“ the group of Spanish writers that spearheaded a search for and selling for under 300 Kc. (best prices in town!) new releases national identity following the loss of empire in the Spanish-American war. at least every two weeks. This „re-introduction“ makes for fascinating reading, but perhaps the most memo- rable piece is actually by TPR editor D. Lazlo Conhaim, who pulls off a masterful impersonation of an elderly Spanish professor who once studied with 98er Don Miguel de Unamuno. Conhaim’s tone is almost pitch perfect, and constitutes a first-rate piece of writing by any standard. It is precisely the kind of reflective, informal essay that one misses most in our semi-literate, overly academic culture of letters. Hats off to TPR for continuing to provide one of the only islands in town where an elegantly crafted English sentence can be savored like a lemon drop. Now if they can only cut back on the poetry.

The New York Review of Books November 18, 1999 One of the virtues of the NYRB is its heady and high flown mixture of politics, criticism and whatever else people tend to talk about at faculty cocktail parties. Although the poli- tics-and Leftism-of the 1960s has tapered off, economic and political SUPERSUPER MENU!MENU! questions of import are still addressed. So along with a yet another book on yet another aspect LiveLive BluesBlues Music,Music, LowLow DoorDoor Cover!Cover! of the relationship between Heidegger and Arendt, and beside Amos Elon’s review of Edward Said’s ComeCome CelebrateCelebrate 20002000 withwith us!us! memoirs, Nobel Prize winning physi- cist and arms control expert Hans A. forfor infoinfo call:call: Bethe explains why the argument used by GOP Senators against the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty last month is bullocks. According to Bethe, it would not be possible for states to test even very low yield bombs without being detected by modern monitoring equipment. Nor does the US need to test to maintain the credibility of its arsenal. He also correctly notes that the rejection of the Treaty effectively marks the end of American leadership in global arms control. GOP Neanderthals now want to scrap START and break the ABM Treaty with Russia, triggering what would most likely be an arms race to end all arms races. 12:00 to 2:00 • Templová 8, Praha 1 • 0602/255 937 So vote Democrat and write your congressman. The NYR can be purchased at Big Ben’s Bookshop. 13 NÁVODY PRO ·ËASTN¯ ÎIVOT

Ûj pfiítel otevfiel zásuvku manÏelãina prádelníku a vytáhl nûco zabaleného v prÛsvitném papífie. „To není jen tak leda- Mjak˘ balíãek. Je to spodní prádlo.“ Odstranil papír a prohlíÏel si pfiekrásné hedvábí a v˘‰ivky. „Koupili jsme to, kdyÏ jsme jeli poprvé do Ameriky. Asi pfied osmi nebo devíti lety. Nikdy ho nemûla na sobû. ·etfiila si ho pro zvlá‰tní pfiíleÏitost. Myslím, Ïe právû teì nastala.“ Pfie‰el k posteli a poloÏil prádlo mezi ostatní vûci, které se chystal pfiedat pohfiební sluÏbû. Jeho manÏelka právû zemfiela. Obraceje se ke mnû pravil: „Neschovávej nic pro zvlá‰tní pfiíleÏitosti, je jí kaÏd˘ proÏit˘ den.“ Stále na ta slova myslím…zmûnila mÛj Ïivot. Více teì ãtu a ménû uklízím. Sedím na balkónû, kochám se v˘hledem a nevnímám plevel na zahradû. Trávím více ãasu s rodinou a pfiáteli neÏ v práci. Chápu, Ïe Ïivot sestává z mnoÏství záÏitkÛ, které mají b˘t vychutnány, ne jenom pfieÏity. UÏ si nic neschovávám. Své sklenky z brou‰eného skla pouÏívám kaÏd˘ den. Novou bundu si oblékam do obchoìáku, kdykoli se mi zachce. Své nejlep‰í parfémy uÏ ne‰etfiím pro speciální pfiíleÏitost, pouÏívám je, kdy chci. Slovo „nûkdy“ zmizelo z mého slovníku. Stojí-li nûco za poslech, vidûní nebo udûlání, chci to sly‰et, vidût nebo udûlat hned. Není mi jasné, co by manÏelka mého pfiítele udûlala, kdyby vûdûla, Ïe tu uÏ zítra nebude. KaÏd˘ z nás bere zítfiek jako samozfiejmost. MoÏná, Ïe by zavolala v‰em sv˘m pfiíbuzn˘m a blízk˘m pfiátelÛm. MoÏná, Ïe by zavolala star˘m pfiátelÛm, aby si vysvûtlili dávná nedorozumûní. Líbí se mi myslet na to, Ïe by si tfieba ‰la dát nûjaké orientální jídlo, nûjakou svou oblíbenou specialitu. Prostû takové ty malé vûci, které by mi vadilo ponechat jen tak, kdyby nastala má poslední hodinka. Zklamání, protoÏe jsem pfiestal vídat dobré pfiátele, se kter˘mi jsem mûl v úmyslu se nûkdy setkat…Zklamání, protoÏe jsem nenapsal v‰echny ty dopisy, které jsem napsat chtûl…Zklamání a smutek, protoÏe jsem sv˘m bratrÛm a synÛm nefiíkal dost ãasto, jak moc je mám rád… Nyní zkou‰ím neodkládat nic, co by do Ïivota pfiineslo více smíchu a zábavy. A kaÏd˘ den Jezte hodnû hnûdé r˘Ïe. âtûte mezi fiádky. JestliÏe si vydûláte hodnû penûz, Dávejte lidem více, neÏ oãekávají Dûlte se o pfiátele, pomozte ostatním, dokud jste naÏivu. a dûlejte to s ‰armem. dosáhnete tak nesmrtelnosti. To je nejlep‰í uspokojení, které vám mÛÏe Nauãte se nazpamûÈ Buìte laskaví k matce Zemi. bohatství poskytnout. svou oblíbenou báseÀ. Modlete se za v‰echno. Pamatujte, Ïe nedostat co chcete, Nevûfite v‰emu, co sly‰íte, neutraÈte V modlitbách je obrovská síla. je nûkdy ‰tûstím. v‰echno, co máte a nespûte tak dlouho, Nikdy nepfieru‰ujte nikoho, kdo vám Nauãte se v‰echna pravidla jak byste chtûli. vyjadfiuje náklonnost nebo laskavost. a nûkterá z nich pak poru‰ujte. KdyÏ fieknete: „Miluji tû,“ Starejte se jenom o své záleÏitosti. Vûzte, Ïe nejlep‰ím vztahem je ten, myslete to váÏnû. Nevmû‰ujte se a nedûlejte klepy. kde vzájemná láska pfievaÏuje KdyÏ fieknete:“Je mi to líto,“ Nevûfite Ïenám a muÏÛm, vzájemnou potfiebu. dívejte se oslovené osobû do oãí. ktefií nezavírají oãi, kdyÏ je políbíte. HodnoÈte svÛj úspûch podle toho, ãeho v‰eho se musíte vzdát, abyste ho dosáhli. Zasnubte se pfied svatbou Jednou roãnû nav‰tivte místo,

„P¤EDPLAËTE SI „P¤EDPLAËTE POSLEDNÍ VùC, KTEROU POT¤EBUJETE!“ alespoÀ na ‰est mûsícÛ. kde jste je‰tû nikdy nebyli. Milujte a vafite s trochou odfiíkání. Vûfite na lásku na první pohled. Nikdy si nedûlejte legraci ze snÛ jin˘ch lidí. Milujte hluboce a vá‰nivû. MÛÏete b˘t zranûni, ale jedinû tak budete Ïít naplno. Pokud nesouhlasíte, jednejte zpfiíma. Nikoho neuráÏejte. Neposuzujte ostatní podle jejich rodiãÛ. Mluvte pomalu, ale myslete rychle. JestliÏe vám nûkdo poloÏí dotaz, na kter˘ nechcete odpovûdût, pouze se usmûjte. Mûjte na pamûti, Ïe nejvût‰í lásky a stûÏejní úspûchy vyÏadují rizika. Zavolejte své matce. ¤íkejte „Na zdraví,“ kdyÏ nûkdo k˘chne. KdyÏ v nûãem neuspûjete, vezmûte si z toho ponauãení. Pamatujte si tfii O: odpovûdnost k sobû TRUE LIFE ADVENTURE sam˘m, odpovûdnost k druh˘m a odpovûdnost za ve‰keré své konání. Scavenging NedopusÈte, aby malé A scavenger-type animal hovers on the edge of the feed, waiting nedorozumûní zniãilo velké pfiátelství. for the scraps of sated appetites. It is a long and hungry wait, as most of the Shledáte-li, Ïe jste udûlali chybu, feeders finish their portions, and those that don't dispose of the unwanted ihned ji napravte. remains. This doesn't seem to be out of any particular malice toward the Usmívejte se, kdyÏ odpovídáte na telefon, scavengers, as the feeders seem oblivious to his presence, but rather from kdokoli na druhé stranû to pozná. a compulsive tidiness. Provdejte/oÏeÀte se s osobou, která si ráda povídá. AÏ zestárnete, Finally, he spots an appetizing morsel, and moves in to partake. schopnost konverzovat bude dÛleÏitûj‰í The feeder whose appetite seems to have failed him, is still nearby. s neÏ jakákoli jiná. As the scavenger reaches toward the food, the former feeder snarls, and goes Ano, pošlete mi předplatné HELE magazínu! Na celý rok pouhých 200 Kč! Travte nûjak˘ ãas o samotû. into a hostile stance. This feeder is a rogue male, unkempt, perhaps sickly, Buìte otevfiení ke zmûnám, in contrast to the healthy groups and families around him. An aura of ale neodhazujte své zásady. malevolence surrounds him like some foul effluvium.

Vydavatelství magazínů THINK a HELE, ZŠ T.G.Masaryka, Ortenovo nám. 34, 170 00 Praha 7 Vûzte, Ïe mlãení je nûkdy "Is this yours? You're not going to eat it?" the scavenger asks. objednávkou. ta nejlep‰í odpovûì. "Yeah. Let the person who's supposed to take it away, take it away."

Prosím plaťte současně současně plaťte Prosím âtûte víc knih a dívejt se ménû na televizi E-mail:...... Město:...... Adresa:...... Telefon:...... Jméno:...... The scavenger sits down. (t˘ká se zvlá‰tû TV Nova) "I'll call security," the rogue feeder threatens. He wears a gray sweatshirt and Îijte dobr˘ a poctiv˘ Ïivot. Konejte tak, abyste si mohli jako stafií lidé fiíci, Ïe byste three days' worth of gray stubble on his prematurely middle-aged face. His shirt byli schopni Ïít po druhé stejnû. sports the word "Nothing" in large, black capitals. Vûfite v Boha, ale zamykejte si auto. "Go ahead," says the scavenger as he picks up the fork. Milující ovzdu‰í doma je dÛleÏité. Dûlejte He is younger, healthier, and more importantly, hungrier. It is the hunger which v‰echno proto, abyste vytvofiili milující, drives him, which makes him call the bluff. harmonické a odpoãinkové prostfiedí. "Fuck off, prick," the rogue male hisses, almost resignedly. KdyÏ nesouhlasíte se sv˘mi The scavenger, recognizing his victory, takes the tray to the other end of the milovan˘mi, fie‰tû momentální problém. food court, to consume it in safety. -by Micael Linnea Nevytahujte vûci z minulosti. MY ONLY LOVE SPRUNG FROM MY ONLY HATE

Just another pig on the go?

THE CONSPIRACY OF NORMALS™, INC. In association with THE CLUB WIRED CABAL AND COMPANY INC. STATEMENT OF PURPOSE (UN-CLASSIFIED VERSION) The Conspiracy of Normals, Inc.™ (henceforth, „The Conspiracy™“) has oper- ated for many years as an international conspiracy which controls world affairs. We have existed for centuries, under various names, as an international, and later interplanetary, organisation. We now operate primarily under the name of The Conspiracy of Normals™, Inc. Through new technology we have recently become interdimensional in our scope. Put simply: We run your life. Free will is a carefully-constructed illusion. We are THE conspiracy. Such well-known conspiracies as the „illuminati“ and various JFK-murder conspiracy theories are bunk; all have been created by The Conspiracy™ as smoke screens, to discredit the very idea of a world-spanning conspiracy by making believers appear mentally unstable. We are in some ways like the illuminati, except that we actually exist, and succeed in our efforts. We operate in all facets of modern life. Overt action is generally not necessary to achieve our goals, as most of modern society is more than willing to comply with our mass-media propaganda and consumerist ideologies. It has been observed that, in a perfect police state, police action becomes unnecessary. It is thus with The Conspiracy™: We have injected our memes into world cultures for so long, with so much success, that at this point overt acts are completely unneeded. Seduced by pretty images on the television, over 99% of the population is only too happy to comply. Consequently we are able to control the minds of the population as easily as we might control a bovine with a ring in its nose. With humans, the ring has been in the nose for so long that the scars have healed, and it no longer hurts when we give the ring a mighty pull. People follow us because they feel „safe“ doing so. In truth, they are safe — as safe as a fish in a restaurant tank, waiting to be plucked. All it takes is a sexy image, or the promise of a new mall-sold trinket, and any rebellion capitulates. Ours is not the heavy-handed totalitarianism of Orwell’s 1984, but rather the seductive, pleasant totalitarianism of Huxley’s Brave New World. Indeed, modern society goes far beyond tolerating our control; today’s citizen clamours for our control, happily herded in whatever direction suits our needs. Free will is an illusion, and not a convincing one at that. Citizens, or „dupes“ as we like to call them, believe that they are independent. But this is only because we have instructed them to think this, through both overt and covert media operations. The reason is obvious: the more a dupe is con - vinced of their autonomy, and the more convinced they are that all decisions are their own, then the more fully they can be controlled. Our primary operations, at the end of the twentieth century, focus on mass media and the emerging on-line culture. The reason is simple: Mass media defines society, and provides the most potent and effective means of meme distribution ever devised. Thus it is natural that we should produce both

JUST ANOTHER PIG? „programs“ and „advertisements“ for television, and make similar efforts in other No! The Conspiracy dupe is a superior grade of pig! They have been pain - media. The increasing blur between „program“ and „ad“ is intentional. Eventually stakingly trained to consume far more than they will ever need. As a result the distinction will disappear entirely. Our interest in „the net“ is based on the fact they „go the extra mile“ in helping the Conspiracy achieve its goals! that this new medium allows the possibility of personalised, tailored methods The well-fattened Conspiracy pig has one concern in life: to consume more, of control and subjugation. Soon everyone will be connected to a fully interactive more, more, of the constant stream of slop produced by mass-entertainment „information superhighway“, which will greatly facilitate the monitoring and and consumer-goods companies! Independent thought is abandoned in favor re-education of troublemakers. The myth of „individualism“ and „free thought“ of mind-numbing television and unending shopping binges! will not only continue in this new medium, but will actually be reinforced. And there’s more: since they spend so much time sitting, fat, dumb, and By allowing a modicum of control over the medium, the dupe feels even more fully happy, watching television, credit cards close at hand, they make very easy „in control“ while actively seeking out ever-more-seductive mind control. Business targets for Conspiracy Mind Bombs. as usual, for The Conspiracy™. The Conspiracy of Normals Pig: Fatter than your average pig. The Conspiracy™: It’s a state of mind. 15 REFLECTIONS OF EXPAT LIFE BY COLIN SHEA

NEW YEAR’S EVE AT THE COTTAGE

he Czech public sector has made a number of the soft patter of drops on the roof periodically interrupted by distant the couch nursing their coffees, while spritely, blonde Czech girls bustled T half-hearted attempts to drum up some sort of booms of thunder. I didn’t know what time it was when I awoke, but about and attended to breakfast. One of the most endearing and patriotic pride over the past several years, and I most everyone was already up and about. I didn’t get out of bed, but dangerous things about Czech girls is their unabashed domesticity. The am convinced that their highway system is the result of lay on the bed next to Nadia and studied her features. She was clearly power of the Czech woman in its full glory is extraordinary, and unfath- a nationalist conspiracy to make the country seem of Polish stock, with clear white skin, a fine, well-shaped nose placed in omable until it is experienced firsthand: hypnotic eyes and perfect faces, bigger than it really is. My general idea of a „highway“ between her wide set eyes, the slightly flat forehead peculiar to that seductive voices and irresistible accents, a perfect feminine calm form- is a multi-laned affair running in a reasonably fast and nation, and the weak chin characteristic of European nobility. ing a maddening alabaster façade over an explosive and volcanic sexual direct route between two major metropolitan centers Sometimes I also saw a hint of the Asiatic about her as well, when the libertinism. I could cry when I think of all those ridiculous American which is designed to facilitate the movement of goods light struck her just so: she had dark, beautifully straight hair, sharp, women with whom I wasted so many nights: big blonde ponytails and and persons: typical bourgeois utilitarian sentiment. high cheekbones and almond-shaped, chocolate brown eyes. tight jeans, bulimic feminists by day and beaten up by their boyfriends The Czechs have more sophisticated ideas. Secret direc- Genealogical residue of some forgotten invasion from the steppes of at night. They try to walk like men and talk like men and drink like men tives from an ethereal realm of the highway bureau- central Asia. Under the bulky comforter I lightly traced the outline of her and fuck like men in the name of empowerment and equality, but in the cracy have stipulated that no highway shall extend for body. She stirred as my fingers brushed across her breasts (no oriental end they are weak, pathetically weak: whores to lipstick & bubblegum. more than twenty miles without either 1) a massive influence here, they were as round and full as any Bavarian milk- Hence the four couples at the cottage, each consisting of a Czech construction site causing traffic to back up to the maid’s). I had a perverse desire to squeeze her nipples until she yelped, woman and an expatriate male. Each of us had been captured by this previous construction site, 2) degenerating into a semi- which I suppressed with difficulty. She had little tolerance for my early- peculiar eastern feminine voodoo without ever really understanding paved one-and-a-half lane track taking unexpected morning sadistic urges. I moved what was happening. In addition turns through unkempt villages and muddy pig farms, down to her taut stomach, her thin there was another solo American or 3) an unmarked fork or traffic circle forcing one yet rounded hips, her firm and who hadn’t been in town long suddenly to make a wild guess about the proper direc- hairless thighs. Absolutely irre- I fled to the enough to get his standard-issue tion to turn and hope for the best. The highway popu- sistible. I moved closer to her and gorgeous Czech girlfriend, a Brit girl lation is an eclectic mixture of vacationing Germans in wrapped my left leg around hers. sauna in an who was visiting Tom and Teresa, an Mercedes and BMWs hurtling by at 120kph, Czechs Closer still, and gently bit her additional Czech girl, and an insane trundling along at 45kph in Trabants and Skodas, and earlobe and whispered „Fuck me.“ attempt to clear New Zealandress who continually gigantic Soviet-made trucks and buses proudly belch- Her head shifted toward mine rolled her wild green eyes like some ing filth at passing motorists. Traffic continually comes and her eyes opened a bit. Half- sort of trapped animal. I had spent a to a dead halt because of accidents and overheated lidded, they looked demonically my head, joined night with the latter a couple of communist-era relics, which have nowhere to go feline. She shut them again and months previous, but had sensed because the term „breakdown lane“ has yet to enter the murmured, „Co?“. by Bill the solo something deeply wrong and extri- official vocabulary. „Hey, beautiful.“ I said that to cated myself politely before every girl I woke up with who I American. anything irrevocable happened. In I had been gripping the wheel for a good 5 hours by the time we liked. Usually I meant it, but it still total, a splendid mix of international reached the cottage. No doubt a bad idea to begin with, it had been gave me a pleasant feeling of miscreancy. positively deadly by the end. Rain sheeting down the whole time, Teresa furtive misogyny. It also had the practical advantage of ensuring that I Most of them left after breakfast to go looking for hallucinogenic and Nadia making respectively hysterical and acidic remarks about my never confused someone’s name at an inopportune moment. She smiled mushrooms. Nadia and I decided there was no reason to brave the rain driving, assorted maniacs attempting to bring our promising lives to the wide smile of a contented, bedded girl and snuggled against me. For and remained huddled by the fire, drinking tea and listening to the bloodily premature ends, 2 solid hours in a traffic jam just outside of a few minutes we spoke about the dreams we had had. She remem- news. My Czech was good enough to pick out that Princess Diana had Prague, watching the temperature gauge slowly rise while the weaker bered nothing of hers except that she had been a child, running and apparently been killed in a car wreck in Paris, due to causes that cars around us ground to steaming halts in greater and greater searching for something. Mine had been intense and somehow violent, remained yet unclear. Too bad - I had always felt kind of bad for the numbers. The whole time cheerily burbling Germans on neon motor- which often happened when I slept in a strange bed. I toned it down a poor girl, first married to that sexless fop and then pursued mercilessly bikes roared by us on the way to a convention somewhere as their east- bit for Nadia’s sake: one can’t be too careful about relating one’s by the press in their repugnant efforts to feed the insatiable public maw ern neighbors looked on grimly. After we got off the highway, 20 dreams to girls. On the one hand, they require the occasional disturbing of celebrity gossip consumption. I could imagine the scene that would minutes of high-speed aquaplaning to the accompaniment of shrieks image or story line in order to reinforce their image of you as a serious follow: tearful wailing at the gates of Buckingham palace, months of from the girls, followed by the final desperate climb up the mountain man with serious things going on in his brain. On the other, nothing tabloid coverage screaming WHY, WHY WHY, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN along hairpin turns on the muddy, flooded track that served as a road. makes a girl more uncomfortable than a nagging suspicion that she is TO SOMEONE WE LOVED SO MUCH? And as a proper denouement to the whole wretched evening, when we sleeping with a disturbed maniac. A fine line, and one difficult to nego- I wanted to vomit at the thought. When I think of the suffering and staggered in wet, bedraggled, with frazzled nerves and trembling tiate successfully. poverty in so many parts of the world, of the billions of people whose hands, it was to the shocking announcement that Petra and Pavla had When we went downstairs for breakfast, I got my first good look at lives are empty shells of pain and hunger and war and death, and of the forgotten the beer. Probably for the better, since I would have degener- the cottage. Two floors plus a loft, all of solid pinewood construction. A vast and absolute responsibility we in the west bear for these unspeak- ated immediately into catatonia. large fireplace and an electric heater kept the chilly Moravian mountain able crimes, I can’t excuse shedding tears over some poor dumb bimbo The plan for the New Year’s weekend had been a merry drunken bash air at bay. The kitchen was small but serviceable, inhabited at the even as a kind of ghastly and obscene joke. involving swimming, frisbee, and barbecues. Unfortunately the weather moment by a couple of bluff and cheery Englishmen fixing themselves Nadia was more or less in agreement with me on the matter. She was gods were not smiling and that morning the rain came down steadily, spots of tea. A couple more bleary-eyed expatriates were sagging into a scientist by training and had learned that elusive art of thinking logi- 16 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 LOVE IS LIKE WAR, EASY TO BEGIN, HARD TO STOP

cally. She shrugged her shoulders at the news - yes, it’s too bad, but so what? People die all the time, and in eastern Europe, which were rapidly torn apart and set to soaking up the fragrant juice. Murmurs of approval worse situations than tearing through Paris in a chauffeured Mercedes on the way to some posh function. If rose from the crowd. we had the tiniest sympathy for everyone who died in a tragic and premature fashion, she observed, we would After the goulash had been consumed the Brits taught us a card game simple enough for everyone to pick quickly become dysfunctional. To allow oneself to be affected only by those incidents which became media up quickly. Six of us played, with the rest rotating in and out of the sauna. Some of the women at that point sensations was mindless hypocrisy. One either has to resign oneself to the world being how it is, or not. Ah, abandoned beer in favor of gin and tonics (a foul mixture I was never able to stomach, except when I had to). my Silesian woman, cold and calculating as a rattlesnake. I found it unbearably erotic. The card game gradually degenerated into hysterical and anarchic card tossing as the mushrooms took hold. The crowd came stumbling back in, wet and bedraggled, but bearing a basket of dank and withered small I could feel the smile on my face getting wider and wider until I thought my face would crack open. How could white mushrooms, apparently with the proper chemical properties for our purposes. Charmaigne the Kiwi was such a stupid game be so damn funny? I watched the Kiwi play her hand forcefully, her tits bouncing up and nowhere to be seen: somebody mentioned that she was swinging around outside in the trees (I should have down like basketballs, or perhaps more slowly, more like balloons, inflating and expanding mercilessly. known at that moment that trouble was brewing). As the others scraped around, trying to find dry clothing „Charmaigne, make your tits stop bouncing. I can’t concentrate.“ and arguing about who was going to use the sauna first, I joined one of the English fellows who was busy „Pig,“ she spat and threw the rest of her cards at me. Tom rushed to defend my honor and threw his cards preparing the midday meal. I had had some experience with him previously, and knew him to be a loud, fat, at her. Watch it, he warned her. We’re all friendly Anglos here. We can’t fight among ourselves when we’re obnoxious drunk, the sort who tended to raise everyone’s hackles just by virtue of his very presence. on foreign soil. This was terribly funny somehow. The Czechs retaliated by swearing at us in their spittle-ridden Nevertheless, he was my kind of cook. We sautéed up an enormous pan of greasy Czech sausages, the kind tongue: „Yankee go home“, or suchlike. Nobody understood except the dog with the nasal tumor, which that are half pig fat and half sawdust, with a half dozen onions, a clove of garlic, three bell peppers, and the sneezed an enormous spray of snotty waste on the foreigners in their support. magic mushrooms thrown in for flavoring. This was dumped into an even more enormous pot of boiling water, „Your fucking weiner dog sneezed on me! God, that thing’s disgusting.“ Charmaigne laughed her bizarre into which he proceeded to throw everything he could get his hands on: salt, black, red, and white pepper, laugh, a piercing and lasting cackle which emanated from deep in the chest and made her eyes bug out flour, honey, mustard, instant coffee, whiskey, curry powder, cans of tomato paste, tabasco sauce, bay leaves, insanely as she vainly struggled to push the animal off the couch. She looked capable of anything at that beer, and nutmeg. He was on the verge of pouring in a jar of ancient cocoa mix before I pointed out the weevil point. She reminded me of the videos from the famous Yale authority experiments in the 50s, where American carcasses resting peacefully on the powdery surface. His next idea was to brew up a cup of hot chocolate for housewives thought they were administering excruciating electric shocks to human subjects - in some cases, the Kiwi, whose manic cackles were resounding from the sauna (which was now enjoying a steady ebb and for all they knew they had killed the subjects but kept on giving the shocks anyway. The subsequent interviews flow of naked women, to our delight). Having dissuaded him from the latter, we set the thing to simmer for were the interesting part. They were told that they had not really been giving shocks to anyone, but that it an hour and broke into the beer in earnest. was an experiment to see how they reacted. God, the jittery, maniacal laughter of those women when they The women had gotten up early and gone for three cases of beer: hefty, thick, no-nonsense racks of twenty realized what they had done! „Oh, you know I could never hurt anyone, I couldn’t hurt a fly...“ laughter. But half-liter bottles apiece, brewed in some doubtlessly unhygienic brewery in a nearby village. It was good. The you knew those shocks were painful, ma’am. You felt the most mild one yourself, you heard the shrieks of fire blazed, the beer was cold, squeals of delight came from the sauna where the women tried to sweat off pain from the next room. „Oh no, never, I couldn’t do that, I’ve never been able to hurt anyone...“ more imagined fat, piercing through the cheery sounds of the early Beatles years emanating from an old and laughter. What did you think when the subject stopped responding at all? After all, he told you he had a heart battered stereo. The talk was friendly and loud and about nothing. The only drawback was the dogs. Two of condition. Didn’t you think he might be unconscious, or even dead? „Oh, no, no...“just laughter now, even the couples had brought their pathetic weiner-shaped excuses for proper canines, both with accompanying more uneven and uncontrolled. Thank you for your time, ma’am. Charmaigne had those eyes, the jittery medical maladies. One had a tumor in his nasal packages which made him sneeze loudly and wetly several laugh of the suburban murderess. times a minute, while the other had some kind of chronic bronchial infection which led to a continual horrible, „You! Get off or there’ll be weiner roast for dinner!“ The dog was finally dumped unceremoniously on the hacking cough. The damn thing sounded like an ancient smoker on his deathbed, with that violent, rattling floor. The fat English cook looked at her darkly. „Don’t be cruel to him“, he said quietly. Bad and crazy vibes cough which means the end is near and that it’s almost time to go to that great Marlboro Adventure Ranch up were flashing between those two, sending discordant tremors through the generally placid atmosphere of in the sky. giggling hallucination. Eventually our goulash boiled down to an acceptable level of thickness and the hearty, suspicious-looking I left them to their own amusements and walked outside onto the balcony in search of calm. Everything felt liquid was ready to be consumed. Tom doled out great, viscous spoonfuls of the reddish soup into the eagerly light and good. The cabin stood on a small hill which was the highest in the vicinity, but the view was never- awaiting bowls. We had a few loaves of that ubiquitous brown bread which dominates the diet of central and theless limited by the heavy mist which shrouded the forests and fields below. 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of the complete emotional collapse painfully swollen in my pants. The ground was suddenly very comfort- of one of their dearest friends. The able and my body was very heavy. I decided I would rest for a minute. Your Mother Couldn’t Treat blithe lack of loyalty was a bit The sky had cleared and the stars were out in all their ineluctable shocking. Such is friendship among brilliance: one forgets how many there are out there when one lives the international elite of the female in the city, I thought to myself. race, I suppose. She caught me look- It was already eleven when I roused myself from the lawn and IndependentYou Rental Better! Agent with Flats, ing at her and gave me one of her went back into the cabin. Debauchery had ensued in my absence. The looks over her wine glass, the kind air was thick with cigarette smoke, empty beer and wine bottles clut- Rooms and Houses to rent. where the inky black wells of her tered every conceivable surface, and a variety of bottles of the eyes sucked me in and pierced me harder stuff had been consumed. I swore to myself irately - they’d Commission just 50% for Long- straight through at the same time. I polished off the whiskey already, and I hadn’t even had a sip. blushed and turned away, cursing Charmaigne and the visiting English girl seemed to have had more term, Short-term even less! my weakness once again. What had than their fill. They were wrapped around either side of Bill and were that woman done to me? running their hands under his shirt. Charmaigne was whispering Call Blažena tel/fax: 2494 2069 We met outside later. The rain had something in his ear. She was wearing an absurd little dress that hid stopped hours before, and the her shame in an unsatisfactory manner. Bill’s face was bright pink, mobile: 0603 514 087 (9am-midnite) ground was soft and spongy under- and he stared straight ahead like a shocked deer mesmerized by foot. By then it was completely oncoming headlights. Seeing a camera lying handily on the table, dark, save for a residual glow from I snapped a photo - priceless. Tom was there sniggering lasciviously, languidly wrapping its vaporous tentacles in envy around the solid the interior of the cabin. The other girls had returned to the dubious perverse voyeur that he was. „Whoa-ho-ho, eh? Things are looking trunks of the trees in its midst. Indeed, who was to say it was not? We pleasures of gin and tonics and were frolicking in the nighttime under- up for Bill!“ claim the blindly synchronized firing of billions of neurons in a primi- brush. I stood close to her, not sure what to do. I was still completely A sudden tearing sound brought my attention back to the couch. tive response to somatic stimuli qualifies as consciousness and is no less off balance in the relationship. Sometimes she treated me as though we Charmaigne had torn Bill’s shirt half off and was giggling maniacally. than sublime: perhaps on some equally ethereal level the continual had been lovers for years, others she did everything she could to Without a word he pushed her away, rose from his seat, and stalked jostling of water molecules (each with its own grim atomic triad, communicate it was merely a casual fling. Not that I knew what I really outside. The other girl’s unfeeling head, deprived of support, crashed bonded together forever in an unhappy circling dance, every step wanted myself, of course: the only reality in the matter was that she down onto Charmaigne’s voluminous bosom. Charmaigne gazed determined by the ineluctable laws of nature). The more I thought had inspired in me a raging and incessant desire for conquest. She down on her face hungrily as she put her feet up on the table. She about it, the more likely it seemed, in fact. The roiling of the mist stood close to me, somehow seeming to look down on me in spite of the wore large, woolly socks, a ridiculous complement to her revealing seemed to accelerate in joy as I gained an inkling of its purpose. A fact that she was a couple of inches shorter. Her full breasts squashed dress. She started to lean close and whisper something to the other wildly yawing face coalesced out of the misty tendrils, winking and pleasantly against my chest as she grabbed me firmly by the ass. I tried girl when she was interrupted by the English cook. laughing, only to dissipate an instant later. I felt suddenly cold and to bend down to kiss her, but she had locked her arms around me too „Eh, get your goddamn feet off the table. They smell like dead weak. Jesus, what the hell was that? Had I had a momentary glimpse sheep.“ of the legendary Gaia spirit, seen the stern visage of the Faceless, the Charmaigne’s hair flew angrily. Fuck off. Fuck you too. I’ll put my eternal, the immovable, the dharma-body? I felt sickly, The sky had feet where I fucking want, etc. Just when it appeared the conversa- unclean...judged and found wanting. tion would go nowhere, Charmaigne trumped him with a comment on I fled to the sauna in an attempt to clear my head, joined by Bill the typical English imperial arrogance. Force being the weapon of the solo American. Nadia had wanted me to help roast the chickens, but cleared and the weak, he capitulated by ripping her sock off and hurling it into the one look at those childlike bodies turning in agony on the spit, fat fire. Charmaigne screeched something unintelligible and yanked her erupting from their crisping skins, had sent me fleeing in horror. We sat stars were out in smoking sock out of the burning embers. Casting a venomous look at gingerly on our towels, struggling to breathe in the suffocatingly hot her adversary, she grabbed Lisa by the hand and dragged her atmosphere. Better, the reduced visual input was making everything all their outside, drunken giggles abruptly punctuated by the slamming door. easier to deal with, though I was unable to stop my eyes from obses- Into his beer he opined to the other Brit, „I’m really sick of that sively following the grain patterns in the wood. I felt slightly ill. We goddamn lesbian whore.“ spoke in the shortest sentences possible of - what else - the elusive and ineluctable After a few moments of discussion, they began to sing. Loudly. The inscrutable Czech woman. My partner in sweat was a tall, trim, fine- volume was, in fact, extreme. They closed their eyes and clenched looking specimen of American manhood, with an entirely agreeable brilliance. their fists, coaxing the maximum amount of sound possible from disposition, a good job and better prospects. I had difficulty seeing their cavernous chests. Holding my girl/ by the factory wall/ Dirty what his problem was with finding himself a woman. Prague is the easi- old town/ Dirty old town... As I was directly in front of them, there est place in the world west of Bangkok in which to get laid. tightly and I couldn’t even bend over. was no possible way to leave without giving gross offense. My eyes „So when are you going to start sampling the local produce there, „Come on baby, give Big Daddy Butthead a kiss.“ hurt just watching them. I sat and smiled carefully, nursing my beer. buddy-boy?“ „No. No kisses for you, you are horrible person.“ Before I knew what They were obviously mad and I had no desire to precipitate some He snorted in disgust. „As soon as I get a chance.“ was happening, her leg was behind mine and she struggled to push me drunken nationalistic brawl which no one would win. „Oh, come on. There are loads of Czech chickies out there looking for down with all her might. We tumbled to the ground. I tried to roll her The fat cook’s fat girlfriend wandered back in, more than slightly a slice of Grade-A American beef, if you get what I mean.“ off of me, but she resisted savagely, pinning my arms to the ground off-balance. She had lived in England so long she had acquired both „God, but where do you meet them?“ He shook his head in despair, with her entire body weight. I had to use all my strength to push her the accent and the waistline typical of that race. She had heard the sending droplets of sweat to a hissing demise on the scalding wood of away from me to arm’s length where I could roll on top of her. I sat singing emanating from the cabin. the floor. straddling her torso, laughing, while she pounded my chest and tried „So you’re in one of those moods, eh?“ In bars, you imbecile. You live in Prague. That particular conversa- vainly to push me off. You’re drunk, I exclaimed. I had never seen her „So what if we are?“ He looked at her defiantly. The dog wandered tion, per usual, went nowhere. Unable to walk the fine line between drunk before. back in and sneezed happily all over him. self-respect and ravenous plundering of the local hootchie market, he Her eyes were slits of opaline fire. „You are crazy. I am not drunk.“ I used the opportunity to make my escape. Outside, the situation took the easy out of sitting around and bemoaning his troubles. „Of course you are. I saw you drink about eight glasses of wine.“ was little better. Most of the girls were sprawled on the ground and Drunken and aimless self-pity, that smug and ubiquitous counterpart to „What, are you stupid? These small glasses, they hold nothing.“ I let laughing, bereft of human speech capabilities or even basic motor the American Dream. Come to Prague, and do it on the cheap. her roll me over onto my back. Her hair fell into my face as she leaned control, while the men nudged one another and made inappropriate A post-sauna shower of frigid Moravian spring water and a vigorous close, her hand moving back to massage my crotch. I tried to kiss her, comments about one another’s girlfriends. Charmaigne was strad- toweling more or less cleared away the befuddling chemical haze in but she smiled and moved just out of reach. Mmm, Jime, sesh zhvi- dling Lisa and giving her a dry hump. Lisa had passed out completely, which I had been wandering around until then. The women had ratko. She suddenly lunged forward and sank her teeth into my neck, but Charmaigne either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care and obliviously completed the preparation of the chickens, god bless ‘em, and the stroking my genitals gently as she did so. I yelped in pain but dared continued grinding away with her pelvis, emitting soft, keening sizzling carcasses awaited our dining pleasure. Slowly dissected and not move lest I sacrifice the pleasure of her tender ministrations. After sounds of stolen pleasure. I watched the rhythmic, circular motion of devoured and washed down with ever more bottles of amber beer. My a moment she slowly released her grip, and looked at me carefully, her hips with interest, as she tried to drive her clit ever deeper into gut felt bloated and my head light and empty. Nadia was off in a scientifically evaluating the impact of her activities. She often did that Lisa’s flaccid stomach. She was so small that from the back she corner with some of the other Czech girls, all of them sucking down after we made love, looking at me like a cook examining a dish and looked quite childlike, with tiny legs and desperately clenched fists as glass after glass of wine and chattering incessantly. All of the other girls wondering if it was complete or if some vital ingredient was yet lack- she concentrated the whole of her being into the growing sweetness were close friends with Dita, making me wonder at the cozy cama- ing. Satisfied, she grinned maliciously. Sorry baby, tonight no luck for between her legs. Sort of how I imagined one of Nabokov’s raderie which had sprung up between them and Nadia. I was glad you. Supinely she arose and strode back to the cabin. I remained nymphettes to look. everyone was being nice to her, but she was at least the nominal cause behind, looking up at the sky, trying not to think about the erection still My musings were interrupted by the host. His bleary and unfocused 18 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 LOVE FEEDS THE SOUL! eyes were disturbingly magnified by thickly convex glasses. „Eh, matey, enjoyin’ the show? Jesus Christ!“ He leaned on me for support. Our reverie was interrupted by a familiar odor wafting by our nostrils. „What’s that smell? Is that Charmaigne?“ I asked. Tom got a bit more alert. „Don’t know. Maybe we’d better check it out.“ The smell grew stronger as we cautiously negotiated the perimeter of the cabin in the pitch blackness. As we rounded the corner to the rear, we were greeted by a billowing cloud of smoke. „Holy shit, the cabin’s on fire!“ Pandemonium ensued. The sauna had been left on and the heating element had ignited the wall. Everyone was suddenly running everywhere, shouting orders, falling down drunkenly, searching ineffectu- ally for items to fight the fire with. The first efforts to enter the sauna with buckets of water were frustrated by the intensity of the smoke: it was impossible to be there for any length of time. Teresa was sobbing and wailing, running after Tom as he tried to organize some sort of response. „Tommy, do something! The fucking cabin’s going to burn down, the fucking cabin’s going to burn down! Do something!“ He turned on her aggressively. „Well shut the fuck up and let me figure out what to do!“ „Tommy, we can’t do nothing! We can’t get in there to put no fucking water on it! The whole thing’s going to burn down!“ Shut up! he screamed at her. She continued babbling hysterically. Without further ado he balled up his skinny little fist and gave her a good one right on the cheek. She collapsed whimpering to the ground. The fat Czech girl immediately ran to her and held her consolingly. That settled, he came over to me and Bill. „Right, what the fuck do we do now?“ We had been consulting the matter already. The heating element was against the outer wall, and that was probably the extent of the fire. We proposed to chop through the wall and pour water on it from the outside, while one of the more sober Czech girls went to look for a neighboring cottage with a phone. Bill and I being the most sober and least likely to chop off our feet, we would hack through the wall while Nadia and Tom went for help. It was surprisingly anticlimactic. We demolished the wall with verve, knocking a hole in it about a yard square. The logs were quite badly charred and still smoking heavily, but no live flame was immediately apparent. We were still dumping water on it when Mark and Nadia came back with one of our better- prepared neighbors equipped with a fire extinguisher. It turned out that the nearest fire department was twenty miles away and nobody in the area had a phone, so they had decided to come back and re-evaluate the situation and see if it could be solved without the meddling of proper authorities. We spent about twenty minutes spraying the area down with the fire extinguisher and soaking everything with water, until we determined the danger had been satisfactorily dealt with. A few of the neighbors had arrived by that time and were looking at the scene with curiosity, as though we were some kind of ethnological exhibit. Some of the Czech girls tried to explain what had happened, but even I could tell they were so drunk that it was all just rambling nonsense. Teresa was standing off by herself, sniveling and shivering. She already had a nice bruise developing just under her left eye. That wasn’t going to make it any easier to explain the situation to her parents in the morning, I thought. Around two everything had quieted down. The whole cabin stank of smoke and spilled liquor. The smoke smell wasn’t terribly bad, since the sauna was pretty well sealed off from the rest of the cabin, but it was still pretty pungent. Nobody cared, though. Tom and Teresa and a couple of the other Czech girls had gone to bed, Bill and I had hauled Lisa in from outside and she had been throwing up in the bathroom ever since, marlboro and the other English guys were having another couple of rounds as a nightcap before they went to bed. Charmaigne had gotten a burst of energy from somewhere and was flapping around the room wildly, demanding more alcohol. The fat chef watched her irately, squinting his piglike eyes. „Eh, why don’t you give us a dance instead?“ She promptly complied, lurching around in a feeble attempt at an erotic dance. She could barely stand, but bravely wiggled her ass and shook her tits for us. It was revolting. Her childlike body and utter lack of motor control made me feel like I was watching some kind of pornographic review of mentally disabled party children. We looked on in horror as she tried to mount the only remaining girl in the room, a Czech girl named Ivana who spoke virtually no English. She laughed as Charmaigne tried to kiss her, attempting to push her away but unable to work around the Kiwi’s formidable breasts. She looked at us wildly for help. „Char - mane...you...are...nice...but...I like...mens!“ It was too much. For once I was glad we had an utterly crass and insensitive asshole in our midst. „Jesus Christ, sit down, you fucking whore! You are a very pretty girl, but not when you dance around like a goddamn drunken slut! That’s not sexy, it’s just disgusting.“ The cook took a swig of beer. Charmaigne stood there, frozen in shock. Ivana wiggled out from underneath her and fled upstairs. He continued. „Look, you’re completely sick. That’s obvious. But these are all nice people here. They can help you, if you’ll just sit down and act like a lady instead of some kind of lesbian bitch in heat!“ Charmaigne, trembling, collapsed on the floor and began to sob. The two dogs sneezed and gasped in applause, their nasal cacophony a demented counterpoint to the human drama unfolding before them. Having satisfied some horrid voyeuristic need deep in my soul by watching this complete degradation of another human being, I roused myself from my torpor and went up the stairs to bed, shell-shocked from the whole evening. The cook’s voice followed me. He had gone to Charmaigne and put his arm around her violently heaving shoulders and was speaking to her kindly. „I think the best thing you can do is walk out that door and look east. You’ll see a ridge of hills off in the distance. I want you to walk to that ridge. When you get to it, you’ll see another ridge beyond that one. Keep walking until you get to that one, and then to the one after that, and to the one after that. And the whole time, I want you to think about how utterly twisted you are and if there will ever be any possi- bility for you to act like a normal human being...eh, where the hell are you going?“ This last was to his girlfriend, who was apparently storming out in revulsion. „Away from you, you pig!“ „Good riddance. Take those fucking dogs with you while you’re at it.“ 19 IS THIS MILLENNIUM GONNA BE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER ONES? Îelezné dvefie, Michalská 19, Praha 1 tel: 0603 717 842 If you’re the type who prefers dwelling underground, or you just wanna be safe in case Russia’s nuclulear aresenal isn’t Y2K com - patable, then welcome the Millen - nium at Îelezné dvefie. The 2000 New Year’s party will only set you back 2,000Kã and includes an open bar and all the sushi and dimsum you can eat, so bring your beer mugs and chopsticks! There’ll also be live music, Deejays and plenty of funk to move you through the apocalpse. For more info or reser- DJ Kuba @ vations, call 0603 717 842 or send Železné dveře off an email to: [email protected] The morning after, you’ll be glad you did. Pokud jste zrovna ten typ, kter˘ rád ob˘vá podzemí nebo pouze se chcete cítit bezpeãnû a ruské skladi‰tû atomov˘ch zbraní není, podle vás, prav˘m místem pro silvestrovskou párty, tak uvítejte nové tisíciletí v klubu Îelezné dvefie. Novoroãní party vás bude stát pouze 2 000,- Kã a zahrnuje nápoje a k snûdku sushi a dimsum, co se do vás jen vejde. TakÏe nezapomeÀte si pfiinést svÛj pÛllitr a hÛlky. Nabízíme Ïivou hudbu, DJ a spoustu divoké zábavy. Pro rezervaci nebo více informací volejte na ãíslo 0603/717 842 nebo nám za‰lete e-mail na adresu: mzolan@ hotmail.com Ráno poté, budete rádi, Ïe jste tak uãinili. Spun @ Radost BACK TO THE FUTURE!

Karlovy Láznû, Smetanovo nábfieÏí, Prague 1 Karlovy Láznû is a recently opened night club and in this large space there's going to be a program called Zona Disco with participating DJs Pat Heart (CH), Geert (B), Tvyks (Paradogs), 1900-1989 Century Cocktail with Ludûk Hrzal and Jifií Poãta (Kaleidoscope), Mileniumtherapy - DJs Vokáã & Eagle (Discotheque). You can spend the night with Katcha and Koogi on the lowest floor if you get lucky! (MCM Café Prague). Tickets cost 799 Kã. Karlovy Láznû-Praha 1. V ãerstvû otevfieném klubu a v jeho rozlehl˘ch prostorách se na nás chystá Zona Disco - DJs Pat Heart (CH), Geert (B), Tvyks (Paradogs), Koktejl Radost FX-Bûlehradská 120, Prague 2, 22512035 století 1900 - 1989 s Luìkem Hrzalem a Jifiím Poãtou (Kaleidoskop), Mileniumtherapy Radost is preparing an ISDN projection between New York and London, an - DJs Vokáã & Eagle (Doscotheque). Proplouvat nocí s Katchou a Koogim mÛÏeme inter-continental broadcast party extravaganza. Thanks to time differences you’ll be v nejniωím podlaÏí domu (MCM Café Prague). Cena vstupenky je 799,- Kã. given the chance to celebrate New Year’s Eve three times over. Radost has prepared a most extraordinary program, with the usual attractive decorations, loads of food Roxy Night Club, Dlouhá street 33, Prague 1, 24826296 and drinks, the inseparable Champagne included, of course. They will be expecting Roxy Promotion presents at 9:00pm in their club: FUTURE (much more than you already one hour before midnight, and if you don’t buy tickets in advance for a party). Main area DJs: Chris Sadler, Lumiere, Formi, Vilém, David Bowles, Luger. BaÈa’s kind of price; 1999Kã so do it straight at Radost for 2000. Live acts: Camilo Caller, dr @ perc. Chill out: DJs: Liquid DJs (Stephunk, Rockwell, Radost FX-Praha 2, Bûlehradská 120 - 22512035 chystá projekci ISDN mezi M Fish, Kuba Soulcheck) + Babe LN, Bolond, Liquid, just about everybody who's New Yorkem a Lond˘nem, jak˘si telemost mezi kontinenty. Díky ãasovému posunu anybody! And in the chill-out chambers: ambient music, plus Live music by Nyabinghi tak budete moci oslavit Silvestra hned tfiikrát. Radost pfiipravila extravagantní Warriors on drums + DJ Babylon Rocker, Yukimura, spe cial food, champagne, video program, pÛsobivou dekoraci a spoustu jídla a pití, vãetnû neodmyslitelného sektu. screens, special effects. Tû‰it se na vás budou uÏ hodinu pfied polednem a pokud si nekoupíte vstupenku Roxy promotion v pfiedprodeji za baÈovskou cenu 1.999,- Kã, mÛÏete tak uãinit na místû za 2.000,- Kã. uvádí od 21:00 v pro - s torách klubu Roxy- Mecca, U PrÛhonu 3, Prague 7, 83870522 Praha 1, Dlouhá 33 - Mecca is naturally going to bring something really special, they have prepared 24826296 FUTURE a three day New Year's Eve Party with a bounteous program and an amazing menu. (mnohem více neÏ The party will begin with Happy House music starting at 11:00pm on 31.12., and in jenom veãírek) V hlav - the main area there will be disco from the 70's and 80's with a go-go girls show. ní ãásti klubu: DJs: For a big bang, New Year fireworks will shoot off around midnight. Happy House Chris Sadler, Lumiere, music will continue from 4.00am (1.1.2000), then a chill out party will be on until Formi, Vilém, David 3:00pm when drum'n'bass is going to begin infecting your mind. Hot hits of 90's will Bowles, Luger. start at 8.00pm and will be replaced by more Happy House music one hour before Live acts: Camilo midnight. As night will change into day while chill-out-music soothes your soul The Roxy Caller, dr@perc. Chill Café Del Mar will be on. out: DJs: Liquid DJs Fat people line up for the After-midnight buffet: pieces of vegetable fried in a deli- (Stephunk, Rockwell, cious curcuma pastry, tuna-fish salad with boiled eggs and onion, salad of rice and M Fish, Kuba Soulcheck) + Babe LN, Bolond, Liquid A NO.D chill out : ambient music, duck breast, pasta with piquant sauce, chicken nuggets deep fried in herbs, skewers Live music: Nyabinghi Warriors, drums + DJ Babylon Rocker, Yukimura, special food, of 5 colors, plate of French cheeses and fresh fruits, chocolate cake with fresh mint- champagne, video screens, special effects. strawberries. From 3:00am New Years lentil soup with sausage and homemade bread. 20 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 TEXT: EFKA KOLÁ¤OVÁ, FOTO: J. BENÉT, T. MARTINEK 2000 MINUTE PARTY THE ULTIMATE MILLENNIUM PARTY!

Mecca T˘n 1, Praha 1, 2489 5404 Price of the ticket for three days from December 31 to January 2 is 1.500,- Kã. New year's eve menu from 20:00 to 23:00: Cinzano, Bohemia sekt, Sherry, Duck WIN A BRAND NEW paté served with bilberry dressing, Artichoke quiche with tomato sauce, Baked salmon with Brie served with spinach leaves and gratinated potatoes, Mousse of chocolate with fresh mint marinated strawberries and Coffee. Price 1.500,- Kã. FIAT PUNTO! Breakfast menu 8:00 - 12:00: Goulash soup served with bread, Homemade liver paté served with bilberry sauce, Warm croissants served with butter, honey and jam, …only at the Party to Beat Homemade apple-roll, Cinnamon snail served with yogurt. Lunch and dinner menu - 12:00-24:00: Mediterranean plate with marinated Balkan all Parties! 1/12/99 Tickets cheese and sundried tomato, Smoked salmon served with cream cheese and caviar, will go on sale Cream of broccoli soup with toast and parmesan, Pasta ,,Fettuccini" s bazalkou with basil and sundried tomatoes, Roasted duck served with typical Czech dumplings and 2 DAYS! red cabbage, Chicken roll stuffed with ham, champions and mozzarella, mashed pota- toes, Grilled halibut with lemon sauce served with spinach leaves, Beefsteak served Everything is included; Drinks, Meals with gorgonzola sauce and gratinated potatoes, Raspberry cheese cake, Tiramisu, Fresh fruits. and Entertainment! plus movies,non-stop club Reservations and ticket sales on the above mentioned address or phone, or email: DJs, Live TV Broadcasts, contests, souvinirs [email protected]. Mecca-Praha 7, U PrÛhonu 3 - 83870522 se opravdu vytáhla, pfiipravila tfií denní & a trip to Kutna Hora! You won’t beat our silvestrovskou party s bohat˘m programem a úÏasn˘m jídelníãkem. 31.12 od 23:00 je v clubu na pofiadu happy house music a v hlavním sále disco 70. a 80. let v doprovodu party for Fun or value! go-go taneãnic. Kolem pÛlnoci se chystá novoroãní ohÀová show. Od ãtvrté hodiny ranní (1.1.2000) bude pokraãovat happy house music, poté od 9.00 chill-out party aÏ do tfietí odpolední, kdy se rozjede drum'n'bass. Ve 20:00 se rozezní hity 90. let - disco 90. let - a hodinu pfied pÛlnocí vystfiídá happy house music. Noc se pfiehoupne do dne s pofiadem chill-out-music - Café del Mar. A nyní ten slibovan˘ jídleníãek: silvestrovské popÛlnoãní obãerstvení podávané od 01:00 skr˘vá zeleninou smaÏenou v kurkumovém tûstíãku, tuÀákov˘ salát s vejci a cibulí, r˘Ïov˘ salát s kachním masem, tûstoviny s pikantní omáãkou, kufiecí fiízeãky v bylinkovém obalu, ‰pízy 5ti barev, s˘rovou paletu s ãerstv˘m ovocem, ãokoládov˘ dort s mátov˘mi jahodami. Od 3:00 se podává Novoroãní ãoãková polévka s párkem a domácím peãivem. Cena vstupenky platné od 31.12 (23:00) do 2.1. (23:00) je 1.500,- Kã. A dále silvestrovské menu od 20:00 do 23:00: Cinzano, Bohemia sekt, Sherry, kachní pa‰tika s brusinkovou omáãkou, artyãokov˘ quiche s tomatov˘m pfielivem, losos zapékan˘ se s˘rem Brie podávan˘ se ‰penátem a gratiovan˘mi bramborami, ãokolá- dová pûna obloÏená jahodami marinovan˘mi v ãerstvé mátû a káva. Cena 1.500,- Kã Jste zvûdav˘, z ãeho je sestaven jídelníãek bûhem dvou prvních lednov˘ch dní? SnídaÀové menu od 8:00 do 12:00 nabízí gulá‰ovou polévku s peãivem, domácí játro- vou pa‰tiku s brusinkovou omáãkou, teplé croissanty podávané s máslem, medem a dÏemem, domácí jablkov˘ závin a skofiicového ‰neka podávaného s jogurtem. Odpolední a veãerní menu podávané od 12:00 do 24:00: nakládan˘ balkánsk˘ s˘r s ãesnekem, olivami a su‰en˘mi rajãaty, uzen˘ losos podávan˘ s krémov˘m s˘rem New Year’s Party! a kaviárem, brokolicov˘ krém a parmazánem a toastem, tûstoviny ,,Fettucciny" s bazelkou a su‰en˘mi rajãaty, peãená kachna podávaná s houskov˘m knedlíkem a ãerven˘m zelím, kufiecí roláda plnûná ‰unkou, Ïampiony a mozzarellou, bremborová 2,000Kã includes: ka‰e, grilovan˘ halibut podávan˘ s citrónovou omáãkou a ‰penátem, biftek podávan˘ s gorgonzolovou omáãkou, tvarohov˘ dort a malinami, tiramisu a ãerstvé ovoce. Sushi & Dim Sum +open bar! Rezervace a pfiedprodej vstupenek na uvedené adrese a tel. ãísle nebo e-mailové adrese: [email protected]. Live Funk Band and Alexander's, Rybná 29, Prague 1, Christmas: Christmas fish soup, deep fried fillet of Carp served with potato salad, DJs SPinning into Czech Cookies - 320 Kã Sushi: Bouillabaisse (Fish soup), Grilled Halibut served with lemon whipped potatoes, tomato concase, Grilled veal cottelete stuffed with goose liver served with red vine sauce, Tiramisu - 1.100 Kã New Year: Homemade rabbit terrine, Baked Honey shrimps veal, Fillet of beef with tel: 0603 717 842 • email: [email protected] gorgonzola red wine sauce and creamy chanterelles, Roasted Monk Fish with Garlic Michalská 19 Praha 1 (v pasáÏi • downstairs in the passage) and Herbs served with Basic Pilaf, Almond Cake - 2.000 Kã 21 NOC UKAZUJE ÎENY A HVùZDY V LEP·ÍM SVùTLE

Alexander's-Praha 1, Rybná 29. Vánoce: Vánoãní rybí polévka, smaÏen˘ kapr s bramborov˘m salátem, ãeské koláãky - 320,- Kã Sushi: Boullabaisse (rybí polévka), grilovan˘ halibut podávan˘ s bramborovou ka‰í, tomatov˘ salát. Grilovaná telecí kotleta plnûná husími játry podávané s omáãkou z ãerveného vína, Tiramisu - 1.100,- Kã Novoroãní králík, domácí králiãí hfibet, peãené telecí s medem, hovûzí filet s krémovou omáãkou z ãerveného vína, peãená mni‰ská ryba s ãesnekem a bylinkymi podávsaná s pilafem, mandlov˘ koláã 2.000.- Kã.

Rock Café, Národní 20, Prague 1, 24914416. Silvestr ,,final music retrospective" from rock n' roll & oldies to grunge & drum'n'bass. Jeazz Band (funky), DD Sounds Y2k + DJs Raveboy, Joke, L. Lis˘, Murphy. The event starts at 6:00pm and it's planned to be over only at eight in the next morn- ing or after your brain expires . Tickets cost 700Kã (150 is included for refreshment) Rock Café-Praha 1, Národní 20 - 24914416 pfiipravilo silvestrovskou finální hudební retrospektivu - rock n' roll, oldies-to grunge, drum'n'bass a dále Jeazz Band (funky), DD Sounds Y2k + DJs Raveboy, Joke, L.Lis˘, Murphy. Akce zaãíná v 18:00 a její závûr se plánuje na osmiãku ráno. Cena vstupenky je 700,- Kã (150,-Kã = konzumace).

Reduta, Národní 20, Prague 1, 24912246 Reduta offers a program titled Return to Silence. I doubt about a real return to silence, it'll be probably a tough trip for the whole evening. Reduta-Praha 1, Národní 20 - 24912246 chystá na Silvestra program s názvem Return to Silence. Pochybuji o nûjakém návratu k tichu, moÏná to bude hustá jízda A POOR CZECH GIRL’S WEEKEND cel˘m veãerem.

by Terezka Kolínková Jazz Club U Staré Paní, Michalská 9, Prague 1, 267267, 264920 A sexy evening includes jazz, an offering Jana Koubková delivers in her every Friday night, the week is over, no more stress, there is the party, the big night performance. The singer will be accompanied by the Afro Latin Band. out ...the pull night. Where could I possibly go I haven't been yet? Hmmm... Roxy? V Jazz Clubu U Staré paní-Praha 1, Michalská 9 - 267267, 264920 si mÛÏete Jo's Bar? Clown and Bard? Akropolis...damn none of my friends is willing to go out poslechnout vystoupení Jany Koubkové v doprovodu Afro Latin Band. tonight. Maybe it will be just a quiet night; it was a rather stressful week after all. End up in The Globe, just wanna relax, and read for while, and then go home. Styx, Sokolovská 144, Prague 8, 6840263 Walk in and screen the situation. One cute boy in the corner otherwise not really Styx will begin with a program "Let's bury the old year" (such an unpredictable good "material" in here. I wanted to read, not pull! But now I gotta try my good combination of words) with DJs Dorian & Charon, and a cross-section of music from luck, so I go and sit at the table he's sharing with some other guy. After a while 1900 to 1999, videos of the best movies of Hrob cinema, and other funny film I figure out that I actually know the older guy; he insulted me and pissed off a specialties. Also served will be super bowls and mix drinks, plus loads of food. Each long time ago in my work. So I start chatting and the cute guy gets involved in it ticket will include one bottle of Champagne & free refreshments. The message from too. He's American, sweet and he actually lives here!!! Feels like deja vu... Things the club stuff goes: We are ready to go for a non stop buzz till Sunday! are going fine, we decide to go to Akropolis. Now we flirt. We snog. It's cool, gotta Styx-Praha 8, Sokolovská 144 - 6840263 zahajuje od 20:00 pofiad ,,Pohfibíme star˘ go now. Meet him next day, it's pretty good, we end up at my place. He's cute and rok" (jak neãekané slovní spojení) s DJs Dorian & Charon, prÛfiezem stoletím hudby - I like him but the morning after a great night is crap. Well things happen...good. hity z let 1900 - 1999, videosestfiihy nejlep‰ích snímkÛ z kinoklubu HROB a dal‰í I won't see him again. Two days later I bumped into him again filmové lahÛdky k popukání. Pfiipraveny budou super bowle a míchané nápoje, mraky That's something that happens only in Prague... and we end up again at my jídla a ke kaÏdé vstupence láhev sektu + obãerstvení zdarma. Osazenstvo klubu place, this time the night is crap and the morning is just simply ridiculous. vzkazuje: Jsme pfiipraveni pafiit non-stop aÏ do nedûle!!! Well, it didn't go well this time, so I'll just wait for next weekend with the loads of other Czech chicks, all taking part of the glory of Prague's Internet dating scene... Skansen, Sokolovská 23, Prague 8, 2329322 Skansen is hosting bands which will play only for you. They'll go from jams to blues, which means that cool music will accompany you from 8.00pm onwards, and you can enjoy it together with an attractive menu, Champagne included, of course. Get ready, just 500Kã for entrance. Skansen-Praha 8, Sokolovská 23 - 2329322 hostí na pfielomu roku kapely, které budou hrát jen pro vás. Pfies jam se dostanou aÏ k blues, takÏe pohodová hudba se na vás chystá uÏ od osmé veãerní, kterou si mÛÏete vychutnávat spoleãnû s lákav˘m meny, samozfiejmû zahrnujícím i sekt. Na vstupné si pfiipravte 500,- Kã.

Exces-Prague 5, PlzeÀská 210 Exces is a very small place and it's almost fully reserved. There are only limited spaces free at the moment. If you like to be present there for Silvestr 2000 (live and death music), you'd better surf for http:suplik.praha.cz/exces.htm. How to get there: take one of trams 4, 7, 10 to the stop Kavalírka. Exces-Praha 5, PlzeÀská 210 -má díky své malé kapacitû skoro obsazeno, aÏ na nûkolik málo zb˘vajících voln˘ch míst. Chcete -li b˘t u Silvestra 2000 - Ïivá i mrtvá hudba stop!, vrhnûte se na: http:suplik.praha.cz/exces.htm. Spojení: tramvajkou 4,7,10 do zastávky Kavalírka.

22 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 SOME SMALL BUT QUAINT JOINTS

probably going to have any special program. Home DJs will take care of your fun, and there's no way that the stuff behind the counter will stunt you! Kosmická základna Nasa-Praha 1, Kon viktská 6 - 24238171 vás uvítá ve sv˘ch prostorách, tfiebaÏe bude ãi nebude mít speciální program. Domácí DJs se postarají o va‰i pohodu a t˘pci za barem vás jistû nebudou ‰etfiit! Pop yourcork! Punto Azul, Kroftova 1, Prague 5, 551029 Punto Azul is not preparing any 20002000 New New special offer, but it's worth visiting anyways. Years Party Well-known DJs, resident Touchwood Years Party included, represent the guarantee for „All you can eat, interesting evening. Punto Azul nechystá Ïádn˘ speciální all you can drink, program, ale i ty v‰ední rozhodnû stojí all you can dance and za to. Pfiední DJs s residentem Touch - Amsterdam, JeÏkova 10, woodem, jsou dostaãujícím dÛkazem. Prague 3, 90021434 shout!“ If you flout maniacally on your barge through the Prague night, and 1.999Kã with this ad! waves brings you to ÎiÏkov, anchor for a RESERVE while near to a bar of the night; club (2,300Kã at the door) Amsterdam to get new strength. Maybe NOW! you won't feel like stretching sails again NOW! and reaching the horizon before the fax: 9000 3967 very morning, so this cozy little club tel: 535 8115 makes the perfect harbor for you and [email protected] your friends. Palác Akropolis, Kubelíkova Poked budete bezmy‰lenkovitû plout 27, Prague 3, 22710147 va‰ím korábem noãní Prahou a vlny vás This place will start with its boisterous zanesou aÏ na ÎiÏkov, alespoÀ na chvíli Karmelitská 23 Malá Strana Silvestr's program at 7:00pm with DJs zakotvûte u baru klubu Amstredam- 50 METERS FROM ST. NICHOLAS CHURCH Babe LN, Liquid A, MC Strictly Orange, Praha 3, JeÏkova 10 - 90021434, naãer- LPD, Lucas, Groof, Philip TBC a Tereza pejte nov˘ch sil. MoÏná, Ïe se vám ani Nekudová, plus bands Take and Break, nebude chtít napínat plachty a vyráÏet and the Nyabinghi Warriors. za obzorem, jedinû aÏ ráno. Ask for tickets and reservations only in Divadelní bar or Malá scéna. Don't hesitate, if you do it before 15.12. you'll pay only 490Kã, two weeks later it'll become one hundred more, and before the event we are talking about 650Kã. Light refreshments are included. Palác Akropolis a spoleãnost nám budou dûlat DJs Babe LN, Liquid A, MC Strictly Orange, LPD, Lucas, Groof, Philip TBC a Tereza Nekudová, kapely Take a Bar Piranha, Îitná 47, U Průhonu 3, Praha 7 Break, Nyabinghi Warriors. Pfiedprodej Praha 1, 2222 10350 vstupenek do v‰emi oblíbeného, do - Around the deadline of this issue there konale vyuÏitého prostoru poÏadujte were negotiations for a private party pouze v Divadelním baru nebo na going on. But that may not happen, as it Malé scénû. Neváhejte dlouho, neboÈ do so often goes in life. If you want to cele- 15. 12. zaplatíte pouze 490,- Kã, brate New Year's Eve there, call the o ãtrnáct dní pozdûji uÏ o stovku víc a na above mentioned phone number for místû 650,- Kã. V cenû je zahrnuto malé details. Who knows, maybe you and your obãerstvení. party can take the place over? Bar Piranha-Praha 1, Îitná 47 - 2222 10350 v dobû uzávûrky magazínu Come Party With Us uvaÏoval klub o soukromé party. Ale ne - musí k ní dojít, jak uÏ to v Ïivotû chodí. for 3 Days of Debauchery for just Jestli chcete oslavit Silvestra právû tady, 1,500Kč! informujte se na v˘‰e uvedeném tele- fonním ãísle. Imagine 3 days in Paradise, where the wine flows, dancing Go-Go girls, where Swamp, Újezd 5, 530002 The Swamp is preparing an event with every meal is gourmet, every appetite NASA, Konviktská 6, an interesting program. We can look satisfied... it’s not a mirage, it’s Mecca. Prague 1, 24238171 forward to DJ Max (it's possible to call A cosmic base will welcome you in its him a resident of this club), and his reserve today: 8387 0522 or email: space with pleasure, even if it's not floating guests, video projection, and [email protected]

23 NOâNÍ TMA V·ECHNO SKVùLE ZAKR¯VÁ satellite broadcasts. Max' has incredible competitions V od léta otevfieném pivní kvelbu Pastiãka-Praha 2, Chinaski v 80's party, Dûda Mládek Illegal Band bude for attractive prizes from bounteous sponsors. Tickets Blanická 25 - 22253228 bude zaruãenû otevfieno, ale k spatfiení a poslechu v pasáÏi, ãesk˘ pop 60. let pojede for 350Kã, with refreshments and Champagne bohuÏel do uzávûrky magazínu nebyl zcela znám v kino foyer za spoleãné pfiítomnosti spolku Písniãka included, and tickets are available on the above program. Nevû‰te hlavy a pouÏijte uvedené tel. ãíslo, a k dobré náladû pfiispûjí pánové âtvrtníãek, Vávra, mentioned phone number. kde získáte v prosincovém období aktuální informace ·teindler ve svém akãním pofiadu, promítaného v kinû Swamp-Praha 5, Újezd 5 - 530002 chystá na pfielom nebo pátrejte na e-mailu: [email protected]. Lucerna. BaÈovská cena vstupenky do tûchto míst ãiní roku akciãku s bohat˘m program. MÛÏeme se tû‰it na 1.999,- Kã. Samostatnû si mÛÏete zakoupit místa DJ Maxe (dalo by se fiíct residenta klubu) a jeho k sezení (100,- Kã/místo) ve 2. patfie a na balkónû. plujícího hosta, videoprojekci a satelitní pfienos. V cenû je zahrnuto i obãerstvení formou ‰védsk˘ch Samozfiejmû nebudou chybût Maxovy neodmyslitelné stolÛ od 20:00 do 22:30 a v pozdûj‰ích hodinách od soutûÏe o atraktivní ceny od ‰tûdr˘ch sponzorÛ. 0:30 do 2:00 v prostorách Ateliéru Heleny Chvojkové, Rezervace v hodnotû 350,- Kã vãetnû pochoutek Mramorovém sále a restauraci âern˘ kÛÀ. Lákavou a sektu, na uvedeném tel. ãísle. nabídku si mÛÏete zabukovat na uvedeném tel. ãísle.

Delta, Vlastina 887, Prague 6, 33312443 Delta will be closed and according to received infor- mation, the last concert of this year should be the band UÏ jsme doma on 18/12. Delta-Praha 6, Vlastina 887 - 33312443 je uzavfiena a podle informací by mûl b˘t posledním pofiadem koncert kapely UÏ jsme doma na 18/12.

Modrá opice, Spojovací 1900/12, Prague 9, 6830250. While we were preparing our Silvester part lists, they were working on a super bar reconstruction where Lovin’ Lucerna you'll be able to go for a really good buzz on the New Year's Eve. Modrá opice-Praha 9, Spojovací 1900/12 - 6830250 Lucerna Music Bar, Vodiãkova 36, v dobû pfiípravy silvestrovské navigace pracovala na Prague 1, 24217108 rekonstrukci baru, na kterém Silvestra pofiádnû, ale fakt Lucerna has prepared quite an attractive program pofiádnû zapijete. which will be happening in the whole Lucerna Palace area. J.A.R., Sexy Dancers and Laura and Her Tigers will Mlejn, Kováfiova 1615/4, play in the big Lucerna hall whilst Chinaski will perform Last call? Prague 5, 6522507 as a part of 80's Party. You can also see Dûda Mládek's Mlejn is closed from 24.12. to 1.1.2000. The last event Illegal Band in the passage way, and Czech pop music is a concert held on 23.12. V.T.Marvin + Totální from the 60's will be playing in the foyer. Batalion, 28.fiíjna 3, nasazení bands. Mr. âtvrtníãek, Mr. Vávra, Mr. ·teindler will contribute Prague 1, 20108148 Mlejn-Praha 5, Kováfiova 1615/4 - 6522507 je od 24. to your good mood with their show, which will be While preparing the list of places where to go to prosince do prvního lednového dne uzavfien. Poslední screened in the Lucerna theatre. Ticket prices are in celebrate New Year's Eve, the night club Batalion akcí je koncert skupin V.T.Marvin + Totální nasazení, BaÈa's style 1,999Kã. You can buy a special ticket for went through reconstructing also. The are hell bent 23.prosince. sitting on the 3rd floor, or on the balcony, for 100Kã to insure that the club will be ready for you by the per seat. The price includes a buffet from 8:00pm to last day of this year. If you are interested in what will Pastiãka, Blanická 25, 11:30pm and later on, from 12:30am to 2:00am in the go on in there, you'll have to ask in person there or Prague 2, 22253228 areas of Helena Chvojková Atelier, Mramorov˘ sál, and by the phone mentioned above. I know I'll be seeing This pub has been opened since summer this year, âern˘ KÛÀ Restaurant. You can book your tickets at the several of you there by 7am the next morning! and it is going to be open for sure on the last day of phone number mentioned above. Rekonstrukci pfii sestavû tohoto návodu, kam jít na the year. But unfortunately we didn't manage to get Lucerna Music Bar-Praha 1, Vodiãkova 36 - 24217108 Silvestra, proÏíval i Batalion-Praha 1, 28.fiíjna 3 - details before our deadline, their program wasn't ready má pfiipraven˘ lákav˘ program, kter˘ probíhá i v ostat- 20108148. Rozhodnû nás ãeká opraven˘ klub yet. Don't feel depressed and use the above mentioned ních prostorách Paláce Lucerna. Tedy J.A.R., v centru mûsta a aÏ vás sem zvûdavost pfiitáhne, phone number, where you get details. Or try email: Sexy Dancers, Laura a její tygfii se postarají o zábavu informujte se u personálu, co vlastnû mají na [email protected]. ve velkém sále Lucerny, pfiímo v music baru vystoupí Silvestra v plánu nebo na v˘‰e uvedeném tel. ãísle.

24 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 NOVÁ ·ANCE PRO VÁS JE TADY, NEVÁHEJTE

pátek odpoledne a my prolejzáme ãtyfi patrovou budovou, dusíme se prachem, nesly‰íme vlastního slova, zakopáváme o kabely, Jepfieskakujeme dráty, pytle s cementem, vyh˘báme se kovov˘m vûcem, které nedokáÏeme specifikovat a spoustû zanepráznûn˘ch dûlníkÛ. Za nûkolik dní se zde otevfie nov˘ prostor, kter˘ Praze uÏ del‰í dobu chybûl, jak mnozí pociÈují, hlavnû v zimních mûsících. My‰lenka vybudovat v prostorách Karlov˘ch lázní klub Paradogs vznikla pfied rokem, kdy spoleãnost PRAM ABS a.s. stavbu v centru Prahy zakoupila a zainvestovala. S rekonstrukcí se zaãalo letos v ãervnu. Od prvopoãátku bylo prioritou zachování prostoru, tak jak je, vãetnû lázní, cenn˘ch prvkÛ a historick˘ch památek vÛbec. Nyní tento dÛm zábavy nabízí v nûkolika patrech spojení rÛzn˘ch hudební ÏánrÛ zároveÀ. V pfiízemí a suterénu naleznete MCM Café Prague s otevírací dobou od 10:00 do nekoneãna, respek- tive nebyla stanovena zavírací doba. A navíc volné serfování po internetu, omezené 30. minutama, DJe za gramcema nebo koncerty kapel. 1. patro patfií klubu Discotheque s pfiedpokládanou kapacitou 800 aÏ 1000 lidí. 80’s party se budou konat o patro v˘‰, v Kaleidoskopu s kapacitou pro 600 aÏ 800 ČAS PRO ZMĚNY NASTAL taneãníkÛ. Nejvy‰‰í patro s podobnou kapacitou patfií Paradogsu a DJÛm, které z pfieváÏné vût‰iny zastupuje agentura East Base Booking Aleny Drahotové Poãtou, DJ Hofi, DJs Cluka a Vokáã a bluesovou kapelu Band Îáha. Na vstupné a Martiny Zahradníãkové, která s námi prohlídku podnikla a poskytla informace, si pfiichystejte 60,- Kã. neboÈ patfií mezi nejpovolanûj‰í jako produkãní, konzultant a dramaturg. Pokud Po cel˘ t˘den je otevfieno, kromû pondûlí a nedûle, kdy je pfiístupn˘ pouze klub nebude potfiebovat dal‰í skladové prostory, bude ve 4. patfie v budoucnosti suterén s pfiízemím - vstup 40,- Kã a po zb˘vající dny je odstupÀován, sobotní zfiízena galerie s noãním provozem, stejnû tak kino. vstupné ãiní 90,- Kã. A na závûr nûkolik dÛleÏit˘ch informací: ceny drinkÛ Interiér v kombinaci dfievo - cihly - kov, má na svûdomí, stejnû jako cel˘ se pohybují v pfiíjemn˘ch cenov˘ch relací, díky dováÏkové sluÏbû si mÛÏete projekt, brnûnsk˘ architekt Kotas. Pro zdÛraznûní atmosféry a pohody bude objednat nejrÛznûj‰í pochoutky a v prostorách se bude pohybovat ochranka, pouÏito mnoh˘ch dostupn˘ch prvkÛ: kvûtin, svíãek, vonn˘ch tyãinek... Nechte ov‰em skuteãná ochranka, ne vyhazovaãi! Díky nafiízení magistrátu, které se pfiekvapit na party konané 1. prosince, kdy v tûchto prostorách uvidíme postihlo i Roxy, t˘kající se ru‰ení noãního klidu, se nesmí bûhem veãera vycházet a usly‰íme Tvykse, Loutku, Vika s MC Karym, ale i Waldemara Matu‰ku s Djem z klubu (ani na cigárko), pokud ho definitivnû neopou‰títe. -Efka Koláfiová

V rámci oslav tfietího millenia pfiipravují na leden roku 2000 autofii Rosti slav&Zlatu‰e za podpory Institut Francais de Prague v˘stavu "Cos mír," jenÏ je zároveÀ souãástí kulturní akce Praha - Evropské mûsto kultury 2000. VernisáÏ fotoobrazÛ, potrvá od16. prosince do 22. ledna 2000. 31. prosince se stane souãástí slavnostního Soirée pofiádaného Francouzsk˘m institutem jako oslava pfiíchodu tfietího tisíciletí. Obû zmínûné akce se uskuteãní v prostorách Francouzského kulturního institutu v Praze 1, ·tûpánská 35. E-mail: [email protected]. Millennium Z - 31.12.1999 - Brno massive extravaganza of inter millenial madness is expected to take over the Moravian city of Brno, where they Areally know how to party. The space is huge, the talent on the turntables is hot, and well, we all know about that famous Moravian hospitality... Mersey Production has been working since 1998 to prepare this celebration for the new millennium. Their party will take place in a most unique rotunda shaped exhibition hall „Z“ in Brno’s mazelike fairground complex. This futuristic building is 46m high, and 122m in diameter and sheltered with a massive dome above two huge balconies. The newest technologies and an extraordinary place should make this party special. There will be a 60.000 Watt sound system, computer guided lighting effects, Video projection on big screens and ISDN transmission from many plar- ties around the globe including the UK, USA, France, Australia, plus other local cities like Prague, Bratislava, Vienna, Budapest. Mersey productions and a designer team are putting extra effort to create a super sensorium for you pleasure with some very special decorations, the most elaborate and outstanding one being a massive countdown display. Guests can look forward to house and techno music by many Czech DJs and 4 top DJs from abroad - COLIN DALE (UK, London), LOUIS OSBOURNE (UK, Birmingham), BRIAN STILLWATER (USA, Baltimore), BLISS(USA, Baltimore) with the last two being interviewed in this here issue of Think. 25 NùCO MÁLO O...

2. PoloÏte je na zem tváfií nahoru a zkontrolujte: a) Pfiísun vzduchu - zakloÀte jim hlavu dozadu a skloÀte jim bradu. b) D˘chání - v‰emi zpÛsoby, zrakem, sluchem, pátrejte po známkách d˘chání. c) Krevní obûh - koneãky prstÛ prozkoumejte jejich tep.

3. JestliÏe ned˘chají, pouÏijte d˘chání z úst do úst. ZakloÀte jim hlavu dozadu a skloÀte bradu. Palcem a ukazováãkem jim ucpûte nos. Zhluboka se nad˘chnûte, otevfiete ústa a vydechnûte do jejich úst. Foukejte, dokud se jejich hrudník nevzedme. Ujistûte se, Ïe vám kolem úst Ïádn˘ vzduch neuniká. Je‰tû jednou zopakujte. 4. Zkontrolujte puls. JestliÏe Ïádn˘ nezachytíte, stlaãujte hrudník asi ãtyfii centi - metry nad koncem hrudní kosti. PoloÏte na hrudní kost obû ruce a pevnû, rov no mûrnû a plynule patnáctkrát stlaãujte ve frekvenci necelé jedné sekundy. 5. Opakujte kroky 2 a 3, dokud nezaãnou d˘chat a neucítíte jejich puls. 6. Pokud zaãnou d˘chat, uloÏte je do stabilizované polohy a uvolnûte ve‰keré tûsné obleãení, které by mohlo bránit pfii d˘chání. 7. UdrÏujte je v teple, pfiikryjte je kabátem nebo dekou, ale pozor, aby se ne pfiehfiáli. POZOR! JestliÏe máte jakékoli pochybnosti o tom, zda jste schopni situaci zvládnout, vytoãte 155 a zavolejte ambulanci a odbornou pomoc. První pomoc pfii pfiedávkování drogami

Napûtí a panika Extáze MÛÏe k nim dojít pfii pfiedávkování halucinogenními drogami jako je acid (LSD) UÏ jste o ní pravdûpodobnû mnohé sly‰eli. Extáze se prodává v bíl˘ch nebo nebo magické houbiãky. Stává se to i pfii uÏití drog, které vás naplní energií, jako hnûd˘ch tabletkách ãi kapslích. Vzhledem k tomu, Ïe je relativnû nová Piko (amfetamin) nebo Extáze (E). Ménû ãasto pak pfii vykoufiení vût‰ího mnoÏství (aãkoli objevená v roce 1898), v‰echny její úãinky nejsou dosud známy. konopí. JestliÏe nûkdo ztratí kontrolu, propadne strachu, napûtí ãi panice, postupujte Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Dostaví se po dvaceti aÏ ‰edesáti minutách a trvá nûkolik následovnû: hodin. ZpÛsobí, Ïe se lidé cítí bezstarostnû a plni energie. Jedno ze znám˘ch 1. Uklidnûte je a ujistûte, Ïe v‰echno bude v pofiádku. nebezpeãí Extáze je zvy‰ování tûlesné teploty a úbytek tekutin. JestliÏe vezmete 2. DrÏte je stranou od hluku a ostrého svûtla, mohli by se cítit je‰tû hÛfi. Extázi na místû, kde je velmi horko a hodnû tanãíte, mÛÏe dojít k pfiehfiátí. 3. D˘chají-li pfiíli‰ rychle (hyperventilace) nebo lapají-li po dechu, mÛÏe jim to Je dÛleÏité pít hodnû vody a zabránit dehydrataci; pfiibliÏnû pÛl litru za hodinu. zpÛsobit závratû a nevolnost a jejich paniku je‰tû zvût‰it. Zkuste je pfiimût, Ne více, stává se to velmi vzácnû, ale lidé zemfieli, protoÏe vypili pfiíli‰ mnoho aby d˘chali podle vás a pfiedvádûjte jim to: d˘chejte pomalu a pravidelnû. vody, opravdu by to nemûlo b˘t více neÏ onen pÛl litr za hodinu. Odpoãívejte. 4. Pfiesnû jim vysvûtlete, kde jsou, co se dûje a slibte, Ïe jim pomÛÏete. DÛleÏitá je také pfiítomnost soli ve va‰em organizmu. Balíãek slan˘ch tyãinek ãi ofií‰kÛ pomÛÏe. Nemixujte s alkoholem, kter˘ také zpÛsobuje dehydrataci. Pfiehfiátí a dehydratace Dal‰ím problémem spojen˘m s uÏitím Extáze mÛÏe b˘t pocit deprese poté, kdy Dochází k tomu u drog jako Piko (amfetamin) a Extáze. Tato sama o sobû po uÏití pomine ona "úÏasná pohoda." zvy‰uje tûlesnou teplotu, která se pobytem v hork˘ch prostorách (kluby) je‰tû Dlouhodobé úãinky: UÏíváte-li Extázi pravidelnû, mÛÏete se stát úzkostliv˘mi, umocÀuje. Díky tomu, Ïe drogy jako Extáze a speed zpÛsobují pocit pfiívalu energie, zmaten˘mi a mít problémy se spánkem. Existují také záznamy o po‰kození jater lidé ãasto po dlouhou dobu bez pfiestávky tanãí, coÏ je rozehfieje je‰tû více. a vypuknutí epileptick˘ch záchvatÛ. V Evropû bylo zaznamenáno nûkolik Jejich tûlo pozvolna ztrácí mnoÏství tekutin, nûkdy dokonce i pÛl litru za hodinu. tragick˘ch smrtí po poÏití Extáze. V˘sledkem mÛÏe b˘t váÏné pfiehfiátí a dehydratace. To je stav mimofiádnû nebezpeãn˘, kter˘ jiÏ prokazatelnû zpÛsobil smrt nûkolika lidem, ktefií vzali Extázi. Acid (LSD) Postupujte následovnû: BûÏnû se prodává v mal˘ch dávkách nasákl˘ch do pijavého papíru poti‰tûného 1. PfiesuÀte je na chladné místo. rÛzn˘mi motivy. UÏití zpÛsobuje halucinace. ZpÛsob, jak lidé vidí, sly‰í a cítí, je 2. Postfiíkejte je studenou vodou, aby se zchladili. po poÏití drogy zmûnûn˘ a nûkdy, aãkoli zfiídka, tento pocit pfietrvává i retro - 3. DonuÈte je pít. Ale mnoÏství vody by nemûlo pfiekroãit pÛl litru za hodinu. spektivnû. 4. Zavolejte lékafiskou pomoc. Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Trip obvykle zaãíná bûhem jedné hodiny po poÏití. MÛÏe trvat aÏ 12 hodin. Lidé mohou po uÏití LSD vidût jasné barvy, sly‰et divné zvuky Neteãnost, ale pfii vûdomí nebo mít podivné vize a my‰lenky. Mohou vidût a sly‰et vûci, které neexistují a b˘t Stav, ke kterému dochází po uÏití drog zpomalujících funkce organizmu, pak nebezpeãní sobû i ostatním. Zku‰enosti s uÏitím LSD se velmi li‰í. Dobr˘ nebo jako alkohol, sedativa a herion, ale nûkdy mÛÏe nastat i po uÏití rozpou‰tûdel. ‰patn˘ trip závisí na tom, jak se lidé pod vlivem drogy cítí a co vidí ãi sly‰í. Postupujte následovnû: Dlouhodobé úãinky: PrÛzkumy tvrdí, Ïe tûlu ani osobnosti patrnû nehrozí Ïádné 1. Zkuste je ze v‰ech sil udrÏet vzhÛru a bdûlé, aby nepozbyli vûdomí. Neukládejte dlouhodobé po‰kození ãi zmûny. Pfiesto mohou nastat retrospektivní úãinky a lidé je do postele, mohli by ztratit vûdomí tam. proÏívají trip znovu bez uÏití drogy. Tato zku‰enost mÛÏe na ãlovûka a jeho okolí 2. JestliÏe chtûjí pít, nechte je usrkávat vlaÏnou vodu. pÛsobit velmi nepfiíznivû. UÏívání Extáze mÛÏe vyvolat nûkteré du‰evní nemoci. 3. Po tûchto krocích volejte lékafiskou pomoc. 4. Nenechávejte je o samotû. Magické houbiãky Rostou po celé âeské republice a sbírají se obvykle na podzim. Su‰í se a jedí, BlíÏící se mdloby nebo ztráta vûdomí nûkdy se vyvafií ve vodû a pije se houbov˘ ãaj. Jsou velmi populární, protoÏe jsou MÛÏe nastat pfii pfiedávkování heroinem, uÏití pfiíli‰ného mnoÏství alkoholu, zdarma. sedativ nebo v˘parÛ z lepidla ãi rozpou‰tûdla. Ale mÛÏe nastat i pfii ‰patné reakci Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Magické houbiãky mají podobné úãinky a úskalí jako na Extázi, speed nebo pfii pfiehfiátí. Postupujte následovnû: LSD, ale jejich úãinek není tak siln˘. Mimofiádné nebezpeãí u houbiãek spoãívá 1. Vytoãte 155 a zavolejte ambulanci. Jasnû a klidnû vysvûtlete, co se stalo, víte-li, v moÏnosti si je splést s jedovat˘mi houbami a otrávit se. co poÏili, sdûlte to, a informujte o krocích, které jste do toho okamÏiku podnikli. Dlouhodobé úãinky: Nejsou známy.

26 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 ONLY USERS LOSE DRUGS!

Piko (Pervitin) Pervitin se obvykle prodává ve formû bílého prá‰ku zabaleného v kusu papíru. Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Piko mÛÏe zpÛsobit, Ïe se lidé cítí sebejistûji a mají více energie. Pro Piko je typická ztráta chuti k jídlu a deprese, kdyÏ ‰piãka pomine. Lidé, ktefií vezmou Piko, se mohou cítit podráÏdûní a nedÛtkliví. Dlouhodobé úãinky: âím více se Piko uÏívá, tím více si na nûho tûlo zvyká a k vyvolání stejného úãinku potfiebuje stále vût‰í dávky. UÏíváte-li ho soustavnû po dlouhou dobu, vystavujete se riziku mentálního poruchy, srdeãních potíÏí ãi prasknutí cévy v mozku. Mentální porucha mÛÏe b˘t odstranûna, pfiestane-li se Piko uÏívat, ãasto je k tomu v‰ak potfieba speciální léãby trvající nûkolik mûsícÛ. Poslední v˘zkumy Karlovy Univerzity poukazují na spojení mezi Pervitinem a po‰kozením jater. Kokain Kokain se prodává ve formû bílého prá‰ku a obvykle se uÏívá ‰Àupáním, ale je moÏné ho i koufiit. Crack, velmi silná forma kokainu (tvrdí se, Ïe byla vyvinuta v CIA k odstranûní Afro-AmeriãanÛ) se vyskytuje v mal˘ch krystalcích, které se koufií. To je zvlá‰tû nebezpeãné, neboÈ návyk zde vzniká velmi rychle. Kokain je drah˘ a v âeské republice není pfiíli‰ pouÏíván, stejnû tak crack. Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Je podobn˘ jako u Pika ale silnûj‰í. Lidé se mohu cítit v sedmém nebi. Úãinky pomíjejí mnohem rychleji neÏ u Pika. Kokain je velmi silná droga a riziko selhání srdce je pomûrnû vysoké. Dlouhodobé úãinky: Pravidelné uÏívání pÛsobí na mysl a tûlo podobnû jako Piko. UÏívání drogy po del‰í dobu ve velk˘ch dávkách vede k návyku. ·Àupání prá‰ku mÛÏe po‰kodit va‰i nosní sliznici a koufiení cracku mÛÏe vést k problémÛm s d˘cháním. Konopí Kufiivo se vyrábí ze such˘ch listÛ konopné rostliny, z nichÏ se balí cigarety (jointy), obvykle smíchané s tabákem. Konopí se mÛÏe také koufiit bez tabáku v d˘mkách. Nejlep‰í a nejúãinnûj‰í ãást z konopí, skunk, je pro labuÏníky to jediné, co stojí za koufiení. Krátkodob˘ úãinek: Konopí uvolÀuje a je mírnû halucinogenní, mÛÏete vidût jasnûj‰í barvy a ostfiej‰í zvuky. MÛÏe zpÛsobit nepokoj, ovlivnit krátkodobou pamûÈ a zmen‰it schopnost vyrovnávat se s obtíÏnûj‰ími úkoly. Dlouhodobé úãinky: Jestli koufiíte pravidelnû nebo hodnû, mÛÏou nastat srdeãní a plicní problémy, podobné jako u koufiení cigaret. MÛÏete se také cítit neklidní a nepokojní. Lidé s du‰evními problémy by konopí nemûli pravidelnû uÏívat.

„Drogy jsou ‰patné!....Ááno.“

27 BENEDIKT LAUBE

vací spoleãnosti pfiicházely vÏdycky s nûjakou super rafinovanou muzikou. Byly to vzru‰ující ãasy. DJ (QUESTION) Je v Detroitu nûjaká scéna pro detroitské techno? JM: Ve Státech je v‰ude hroznû siln˘ rap, hlavnû v Detroitu. MládeÏ to prostû Ïere. TakÏe aãkoli je tam pro techno obrovské zázemí, techno scéna jako taková je velmi malá. Jeff (QUESTION) Co Evropa, mበtu nûjaké oblíbence? JM: Mám rád Berlín a jeho atmosféru, je uvolnûná, trochu pfiipomíná newyorkskou, pochází odtamtud mnoho pÛsobiv˘ch nahrávek. Mám rád Mauriziovy vûci, remix na Basic Channel 01. Ale na ty remixy pozor. âlovûk musí b˘t velmi opatrn˘. Jestli nûkomu vezme‰ nápad a chce‰ z nûj udûlat nûco lep‰ího, vypadá to vÏdycky trochu nabubfiele. Lep‰í je mít dobr˘ nápad sám, Mills nahrát ho a vydat pod sv˘m jménem. Ale mÛÏe b˘t zajímavé remixovat nahrávku z jiné oblasti, tfieba rockovou. Mበdva zvuky, tvÛj a jejich, a stvofií‰ z toho nûco nového, nûco mezi. (QUESTIO) Vím, Ïe rád hraje‰ v Evropû, kde je to momentálnû celé o hraní hitÛ. Hraje‰ je hodnû? JM: Jestli je ta nahrávka v pohodû, hraju ji. JestliÏe zní blbû tak ne, aÈ je to Jeff Mills je vysoce uznávan˘ techno DJ ze Spojen˘ch house, techno nebo i gabber. Musím udrÏet lidi v pohybu. Nûkdy musí‰ zachytit atmosféru na party bûhem tfií skladeb. Znamená to mnoho experimentÛ a mnoho chyb. Vût‰ina lidí státÛ, kter˘ se pfiestûhoval do New Yorku z rodného tohle nevidí. Nûktefií Djové mají svoji sadu nahrávek naplánovanou, já ne. VÏdycky se snaÏím zahrát speciální mix pro onu noc. JestliÏe se vût‰inû lidí líbí nûjaká nahrávka, nic Detroitu, kde zaloÏil s 'Mad' Mikem Banksem impérium s tím neudûlá‰. Tfieba Jaydee nebo The Goodmen. AÈ to byly hity nebo ne, kaÏdému se líbily. Ale o nûãem nehodlám diskutovat. Tfieba nebudu hrát celou noc tvrdé techno. „Underground Resistance“. Po odchodu z Detroitu ProtoÏe nechci. Vím, kdy se hodí hrát gabber. A taky vím, kdy se hodí udûlat pauzu a nechat lidi oddechnout. Znበto, veãírek se mÛÏe protáhnout na tfii dny…Mám ve sv˘ch "Můžeš to být právě ty, koho napadne něco geniálního." sestavách rád zmûny. KdyÏ mÛÏu, vÏdycky hraju house, ale mixuju to. Pfiíli‰ moc stejného zaloÏil nahrávací spoleãnost Axis. Zde nahrál své první zní hodnû brzo blbû. KdyÏ dávበlidem pfiesnû to, co chtûjí, dopadne to tak, Ïe oni fiídí tebe, ale má to b˘t naopak. Perfektní veãírek pro mû znamená, Ïe mÛÏu zahrát v‰echny sólové album, ípíãko „Tranquilizer,“ o jehoÏ distribuci se sv˘ oblíben˘ skladby a lidi tam zÛstávají se mnou a uÏívají si to. DokáÏou stejnû jeãet nad‰ením nad housovou chuÈovkou a pak nad vychytan˘m gabberem. Îádné limity, postarala spoleãnost Network Records. Mezi dal‰í mÛÏe‰ dûlat zmûny a funguje to. BohuÏel to nejde vÏdycky. Jedin˘ místo v Evropû, kde takhle mohu hrát, je ve Skotsku. Jo a je‰tû na pár místech v Lond˘nû. A samozfiejmû party nahrávky Axis patfiil jeho singl z poloviny devadesát˘ch ve Státech, nejenom techno ale i ty normální. VÏdycky jsou rozãlenûné a konãí kolem druhé ráno. Jednotlivé sekce jsou oddûlené pomal˘mi skladbami. Party je pfiece od toho, let „Cycle 30.“ S Axis nahrál své druhé ípíãko i MillsÛv aby se tam kluci a holky seznamovali. KdyÏ neudûlበpauzu, nemÛÏou se sbliÏovat…KaÏdá následující sada je rychlej‰í a na závûr se pfiehrávají v‰echny ty nejvût‰í vychytávky. Pak produkãní spolupracovník Robert Hood, a to pod kluci odejdou s holkama a v‰ichni se zase objeví pfií‰tí t˘den. V Evropû mají veãírky vût‰inou speciální téma, jako Hellraiser III nebo tak nûco. Tak trochu moc ví‰, co mÛÏe‰ názvem „Minimal Nation.“ „Live At The Liquid Room — ãekat. Je lep‰í to nevûdût. (QUESTION) Co je to dobrá techno skladba? Tokyo,“ znûlo spí‰e jako exkurze do heavy metalu neÏ JM: Mûlo by b˘t sly‰et, Ïe se tvÛrce snaÏí nûãeho dosáhnout. KdyÏ to tam není, vÏdycky na to pfiijde‰. Takové nahrávky nenaz˘vám technem. Problémem není muzika jako taková, jako techno. Ale i tak vynikající nahrávka. Aãkoli jsem je to ten ãlovûk, kdo se tváfií, Ïe je to techno. Takoví ãlovíãkové mají asi rádi to, co dûlají, jsou s tím spokojení, pro nû je v‰echno v pofiádku. TakÏe jestli chce‰ poslouchat tohle, kup tenhle rozhovor dûlal uÏ pfied nûjak˘m ãasem, myslím, si to v krámû, vem si to domÛ a uÏij si to. Já to hrát nebudu! (Pauza) Pfiem˘‰lím o tom trochu jinak. Celá umûlecká forma techna je náladou podobná technologii, chce dosáh- Ïe to nehraje velkou roli. Urãitû sami poznáte, Ïe zpÛsob nout nûãeho nového. V kaÏdé nahrávce. Není to ani o úpravû skladby ani o zvuku. MÛÏe to b˘t zvuk, kter˘ sly‰í‰ dennû. Je to o tom, co se s tím udûlá. Proto „Cycle 30“ (Axis 008). my‰lení Jeffa Millse se dá tûÏko nazvat dne‰ním… Nebyla to pfiesnû taneãní nahrávka, spí‰e poselství mlad˘m zaãínajícím, sdûlení, Ïe je tu je‰tû mnoho co dûlat…Trochu jsem vÏdycky uh˘bal, kdyÏ jsem mûl vysvûtlovat, jestli mají moje nahrávky zaãátek a konec. Musí‰ myslet jako DJ! Je to na tobû, jak skladbu namix- (QUESTION) Postrádበ„Underground Resistance?“ uje‰. VyÏaduje to urãitou zruãnost. MÛÏe‰ to b˘t právû ty, koho napadne nûco geniálního. JM: Rád zaãínám znovu od zaãátku. V Detroitu bylo ve‰keré vybavení - mûli jsme KdyÏ nûkdo produkuje nahrávky pro urãitou skupinu lidí, o které ví, Ïe se jí budou líbit a budovu, kanceláfie, zamûstnance, triãka a v‰echny ty krámy. Vzal jsem si právû tolik penûz, v‰ichni zaãnou okamÏitû vfiískat nad‰ením, nevydám to. Prav˘ trik má b˘t schovan˘ a abych mohl zaãít znovu. V Detroitu jsme dûlávali v‰echny nahrávky spoleãnû. V posledním pomalu objevovan˘. Jinak se to okamÏitû ohraje. Stalo se mi to i pfii nûjak˘ch m˘ch sklad- období „Underground Resistance,“ odjel Mike Banks na turné a já jsem tak sedûl sám ve bách. Nikdy jsem je pak nevydal. Na kaÏdé z nich jsem nûco postrádal. Dobrá nahrávka studiu se neohraje. âím ãastûji ji hraje‰, tím víc tû k sobû pou‰tí a pohlcuje. Na tom jsou a udûlal jsem „Punisher and the Seawolf.“ Detroit je depresivní mûsto. Cítí‰ se tam jako zaloÏeny v‰echny vûci od Axis. Nahrávka musí b˘t pofiád o krok napfied. Pfiedhánût v nûjakém snu. Pak jsem byl najednou jinde, v jiném mûstû, v New Yorku, a znûl jsem úplnû situaci. Taky nikdy nefieknu: 'Doufám, Ïe nikdy nevyrobím hit.' MoÏná, Ïe si nûkdo za jinak. ProtoÏe to tam bylo o nûãem jiném, jiné vibrace. dva roky poslechne Axis 08 a 09 a fiekne…'Sakra, to je dobr˘.'Ale stejnû, prostû to není (QUESTION) V poslední dobû jsi hrál na ravech a v klubech po celé Evropû. Co Detroit, mÛj styl vyrábût zaruãené hitovky. Momentálnû to dûlá pfiíli‰ mnoho lidí. A koukni se na zahrál sis tam nûkdy nedávno? to, co dûlají. Není to house, není to opravdové techno, není to experimentální, je to JM: B˘vá tam jenom nûkolik mal˘ch veãírkÛ. Tak jednou dvakrát za rok. Ale jsou vÏdycky v‰echno nûco mezi; nuda, nuda, ‰eì. Sraãky, na které lidi mohou tancovat. JestliÏe velmi dobré. nechበstranou aspekt penûz a soustfiedí‰ se na to, aby kaÏdá skladba mûla nûjaké posel- (QUESTION) Jaká muzika se tam hraje? ství, aby znûla tak, jak napovídá její název, okamÏitû ztratí‰ zájem na tom vydûlávat. JM: Nejvíc detroitské techno, ale taky house a garage a nûjaké evropské vûci. V Chicagu MoÏná, Ïe si pak nûjaké dítko poslechne, co dûlበa bude v tom pokraãovat. NedokáÏu stále frãí rough house, v New Yorku zase garage. Detroit je nûkde mezi tûmato dvûma si pfiedstavit, jak bude znít techno za pût let, ale to je dobfie. Doopravdy mû dostává, kdyÏ mûsty, jak na mapû tak v muzice, hraje se v‰echno mezi. Detroit je trochu vyjemnûlej‰í neÏ se lidi nesnaÏí nûãeho dosáhnout. Kdyby to dûlali, v‰echno by bylo v pohodû. Chicago, není tak zemit˘ a drsn˘ - zvuk je instrumentálnûj‰í, Ïádné texty o píãách a tak… ubu Roxy, kde bude hrát na čtyřech gramofonech najednou. moÏná díky hudební historii Detroitu. KdyÏ jsem byl mlad˘ '“Motown“ a v‰echny ty nahrá- 28 THINK MAGAZÍN 09/1999 HOUSE MUSIC DJ SPEJBL (ARTIST E)

S hou$e music do dalšího tisíciletí The Perfect place for all your gift giving needs: Hemp clothing, bags, backpacks, hats & shoes, incense, Henna, Smoking Accessories & more… ouse party je jedním z hlavních druhÛ zábavy mlad˘ch lidí a koneãnû u nás zaãíná Green, black, yellow-green, Hdosahovat rozmûrÛ, na které jsme byli zvyklí ze zbytku Evropy. DÛvod, proã byl herbal teas; quick, tasty, rozvoj tohoto fenoménu ponûkud pomalej‰í, neÏ snad nûktefií oãekávali, pfiipisuji tomu, instant-teas & SHAKES! …many Ïe scéna je u nás na rozdíl od Evropy ponûkud povrchní. Nad enthusiasmem, láskou styles of pipes; ceramic, stone, water, k bliÏnímu a snahou zprostfiedkovat ostatním hlub‰í záÏitek pfievládají finanãní a egocen- trická hlediska. To rozhodnû není prostfiedí, kde by se dafiilo múzám. Ne Ïe by jinde ne‰lo glass, changing colors …plus o peníze, ale pomûr i pfiístup jsou jiné. V dÛsledku toho chybí i soudrÏnost a jednota scény, aromatherapy oils and lamps! která by byla hnacím motorem jejího v˘voje. Povût‰inou fungují rÛzné jiné motivy jako „WE CARRY BOHEMIA DREAM osobní zisk ãi prestiÏ, anebo jin˘ pseudofilozofick˘ mi‰ma‰. Funkci pokrokového podhoubí tu pfievzaly men‰inové taneãní Ïánry jako drum&bass, acid jazz ãi hip hop. To, myslím, dokládá i kvalita domácí hudební produkce. Nechci v‰ak generalizovat, mluvím zde o pfievládajících tendencích a také si v‰ímám pohybu k lep‰ímu. Ten je v‰ak podle mne velmi pomal˘ a díky rÛzn˘m experimentÛm vût‰inou vede chybn˘m smûrem. Zde v‰ak platí, Ïe rozhodujícím kritériem je motivace, a ta je individuální. ·MERALOVA 12 Na jedné stranû stojí komerãní kluby, které se rády prezentují pfiízviskem housové, trpí Praha 7 tel:3337-1123 v‰ak dûtsk˘mi nemocemi typu neporozumûní kultufie jako takové, (náplní umûní, kter˘m house music pÛvodnû byla, mûlo b˘t pozitivní sdûlení ãi komunikace, jejíÏ souãástí mÛÏe email:duhaterminal.cz b˘t i uvolnûní), dále naprostá a zaslepená podfiízenost finanãnímu zisku, neznalost scény po-pa 10-19h. so 10-2h. jako takové, nedostatek elementární slu‰nosti a urãitého filozofického vhledu, kter˘ je pro tento druh lidského poãínání nezbytn˘. Na druhé stranû se undergroundová techno scéna, snad ze zoufalství nad zdej‰í situací, upíjí, uhuluje a udrogovává do delíria. Îurnalisty ãasto a líbivû proklamované srovnávání s ‰amanismem (zvlá‰tû v ãesk˘ch pomûrech) povaÏuji zatím za naprosto nemístné. Je v podstatû v˘smûchem a uráÏkou ‰amanismu. ·aman byl ãlovûk ke svému poslání vychován, speciálnû vycviãen a také byl odpovídajícím zpÛsobem do své "funkce" INICIOVÁN. Tím u nûho byla zaruãena znalost problematiky, respekt a podfiízení zájmÛm celé komunity, kterou dokázal vést. Psychedelické látky svému kmenu "ordinoval" jako medikament a ãinil tak na základû získan˘ch znalostí o jejich pÛsobení. Av‰ak lídfii dne‰ní housové scény tûmito znalostmi rozhodnû neopl˘vají, natoÏ aby se nûãím takov˘m fiídili. Otfiesn˘m mementem se stalo zneuÏívání rÛzn˘ch psychoaktivních látek, jichÏ si mimochodem váÏím (pfiedev‰ím psychedelik), a jejich uÏívání bez jakékoli snahy fiídit se poznáním tûch, ktefií ‰li touto cestou pfied námi. Odrazem toho je mládeÏ, která se uhousuje do psychózy ãi rozdvojené osobnosti a konãí u alkoholu a cigaret, které povaÏuje za únosné zlo a nikoli za drogy. Dobrá, uspokojování vlastního libida v‰emi dostupn˘mi prostfiedky. Nic jiného se totiÏ nenabízí. Je‰te jsem zapomnûl: jedni feÈáci pomlouvají druhé, protoÏe berou jiné drogy, ale to je problém, kter˘ daleko pfiesahuje rámec parties. Netvrdím, Ïe jsou v‰echny látky stejné a i rizika jsou hodnû rozdílná, ale v principu se to zas tak moc neli‰í. Duchovno, jehoÏ pfiítomností se pÛvodnû house music odli‰ovala od ostatního main- streamu, se z ní vytrácí. Srovnávat housové hudební produkce s ‰amansk˘mi rytmy na základû podobnosti rytmu je stejnû naivní jako srovnávat promiskuitního novináfie s Goethem na základû uÏití jazyka jako sdûlovacího prostfiedku. Inteligentnûj‰í ãást popu- lace si toho uÏ pomalu v‰ímá a nechává si tuto zábavu vût‰inou ujít. A pokud se nûjak˘m zpÛsobem house parties úãastní, v naprosté vût‰inû pfii‰li k tomuto fenoménu v zahraniãí a nikoli u nás. Tato forma zábavy, ve své normální podobû k inteligentní komunikaci jako stvofiená, je u nás ale zatím nepochopena a není tedy tím, za co se vydává. Chci tímto ãlánkem pfiispût k tomu, abychom se na vûci kolem i na sebe dívali otevfien˘ma oãima, a tím napomohli v˘voji nejen acid-housové scény. Komunita je veliká (celá planeta) a situace je pomûrnû váÏná, viz Tibet, Kurdistán, neúnosnost na‰eho vlastního Ïivotního stylu, globální oteplování Zemû, kácení pralesÛ, anebo tfieba na‰e státní elita. A dobfií ‰amané? Nemají to, myslím, v dne‰ním svûtû lehké. Pomoz si sám a bude ti snad pomoÏeno. VÏdycky se dají ãíst kníÏky jako tfieba "Tfietí oko" nebo se dá tfieba jen tak nûkde v klidu sednout a trochu popfiem˘‰let nad svûtem a nad sebou. Anebo si jen vyprázdnit hlavu. Ne vychlastat. Na závûr bych chtûl dodat, Ïe se tento ãlánek t˘ká spí‰e klubové scény neÏ undergroundového techna, které má u mû vût‰í kredit, i kdyÏ, jak jsem dfiíve fiekl, také Lond˘nská 52, Praha 2, tel: 2251 8572 to v téhle podobû není moje krevní skupina. A chci podûkovat v‰em, ktefií se jako blázni tel/fax: 2251 7047 www.praguepivo.com je‰tû o nûco snaÏí. -Illustrace: Mario Torero 29 ACTIVATED RECORDS DJ Bliss (AKA Jamie Brady) and Brian Stillwater are a pair of talented DJs hailing from the city of Baltimore, Maryland, where they have been affecting the hemisphere with their unique techno trance mixes and the publication of their record label, DJ BLISS management group and their magazine Activated, which is now only available on-line. They're gonna be here and spinning the wax at the Millennium Z BRIAN party in Brno. THINK recently hooked up with them across the big pond and STILLWATER had a few questions to bounce around. „Personally I don't wanna start wearing a suit and tie to my DJ gigs“

(QUESTION) I've been out of the states for over three years now, and was mostly listening supportive was the scene there? to trip-hop in the San Francisco style before I left, at that time "raves" BLISS: Heh. How can I say this politically? Actually being political was hard for me and techno's following had wound down in SF, how has the genre evolved over the past 5 to do back then, so I never had a hard time saying what was on my mind. years? BRIAN: Yeah I don't know how many times Jamie (Bliss) got the both of us in BLISS: Well first off there is no one genre that kind of covers all music that was consid- trouble with his big mouth. ered "techno" back then. There are labels for almost any sound that you can think of these BLISS: *evil laugh* People don't seem to want to hear the truth (haha). As far as support, days. Some of the labeling gets a little overboard. Everything seems to hit lulls where things Activated got virtually no support locally, unless people wanted something out of it (i.e. free don't get very original, but then something else will bust out and be the new thing. I don't ads disguised as party/scene reviews). With Activated (as with DJing), we both never gave a think the US is any different from any other country in that respect. But the US is really fuck what was going on around here and set our sights much higher. varied by areas because cities and scenes are stretched out over the country. BRIAN: As with almost anywhere, the hardest place to "make it" is your hometown. BRIAN: I definitely agree with the fact that labeling has gotten a bit out of hand over the Neither of us has played a quality event in Baltimore in at least a year. Instead we spent years. It seems everytime someone strays a little bit left of center there's a new name or that time travelling throughout the country and beyond because we've always wanted prefix added to an already existing genre or style. As for evolution of the "rave scene" over more and weren't interested in playing the games involved in local politics. the past few years, the US has pretty much picked up on all the past trends from Europe, BLISS: Yeah Brian was always trying to keep me from stirring up trouble, making the US a bit behind. he was always the one who tried staying on everyone's good side… BLISS: Yeah it seems sometimes that we'll never get over this rock 'n roll mentality. BRIAN: …without kissing ass I might add… BRIAN: But at least we got Beck! BLISS: …but I learned early on that you have to do your own thing — that's the only way (QUESTION) Are massives still taking place? I used to hang with Mark from Ameoba you're going to get anywhere. records, early house promoters in the Haight district, back in 89-90, and he used to preach BRIAN: A few years back I took advice from a friend, and that was "why worry about that house music is the one movement that'll never be taken over by corporate America. playing someone else's game when you can start your own?" But here in the Czech Republic, promoters make more money from the (QUESTIO) I noticed you play hard trance, and techno trance. What is the secret to sponsorship than the gig. Has that happened in the states yet? getting the trance into the techno? BLISS: You do know that Ameoba closed right? Anyway, corporate sponsorship BLISS: A lot of the records I select have qualities of techno AND trance to them already, hasn't really become a factor here yet, at least regularly. Like I said, it seems "the man" which allows you to go anywhere you want -- you could go more technoey, or get more is only interested in rock 'n roll here, so electronic music still isn't a proven moneymaker. trancy, whatever you want. I like having that variety -- which is why I like longer sets so BRIAN: Corporate America is only interested in one thing. And that's making money. So I can let the whole thing evolve. Here in the US it seems the art of the most corporate support is usually given more to concerts/festivals because the DJ taking people on a journey has been lost to a lot of people. Throughout the years a lot US is not a society that is built upon dance culture. Although things are picking up more of the stuff I have been into has revolved around Germany: Harthouse, Sven Vath, OLIVER and more as you hear techno in the latest Levi's and Gap commercials, which shows that LIEB (who is finally starting to get the recognition he deserves), Der Dritte Raum, Timo the scene is definitely starting to make its impact in our society. Maas, Terry Lee Brown Jr., the Kanzleramt guys, Pascal F.E.O.S.; I could go on and on. BLISS: Corporate America will never "take over" the music (house or otherwise) Techno is more rhythm based — and trance more melody based — so for me when you put completely, there will always be an underground outlet for the music. them together it's like putting the white on rice. BRIAN: Personally I don't wanna start wearing a suit and tie to my DJ gigs. BRIAN: Over the past year, the influence of various styles has caused merging and over- (QUESTION) What was it about techno that made you want to be a DJ? lapping within genres. Artists that were once categorized as say "techno" such as Pascal BRIAN: I was introduced to techno in the middle of my teenage years where I was living F.E.O.S. and Oliver Lieb have gained more and more support from the trance scene and the American Dream of becoming a rock 'n roll star until I realized the limitations that beyond. It's hard to categorize a DJ nowadays because of the wide range of styles he or working in a band brought. I then found myself at one of the early US raves. That opened she may spin. I think this sort of thing is great and will definitely improve the growth of up a whole new world in which music can be done on your own without boundaries and the music as a whole. without limitations. It was something new and virtually unheard of at the time, but on the (QUESTION) Do girls throw themselves at you? Have you been stalked by groupies? same note seemed to have a promising future as being the sound of the new millennium. BLISS: Not enough! Haha. Actually we're both Virgos, so speaking for both of us- we And I definitely think that will prove to be true after New Year's. aren't the types of guys who respect girls who like someone just because they happen to BLISS: Actually I sort of came into this whole thing as a breach-birth baby; I was already be a DJ. But, nevertheless, you feel like you're doing something wrong if they aren't throw- "DJing" on college radio and was playing anything from 80's electronic music to industrial, ing themselves at you anyway. and without even realizing it -- early techno. I wasn't even really aware at that time about BRIAN: Note to all Czech women: we are both VERY single!!! ;) raves, but was going to clubs that were playing the stuff I was getting more into. When I BLISS: We're going to be experimenting for the first time with Absinthe while we're over went to my first rave I was blown away -- probably even more so than most people because there, so who knows what will happen. Ha-ha. I was experiencing this greater level of DJing that I didn't even knew existed. My path sort (QUESTION) MP3s, will they break the stranglehold the major labels have on new music of was laid out in front of me that night. releases? Is this a good thing, or bad? (QUESTION) Here in Prague, promoters talk and whine about supporting the scene, but BRIAN: Actually the topic of MP3 has been a concern of mine for quite awhile. support usually just means free advertising. When you ran Activated, just how It's quite frightening, although it may break the stranglehold of the majors; it can also 30 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 THE REAL STARS OF MILLENNIUM Z hurt the Indies as well. For instance, I know someone that just downloaded songs from the new Cure album (at CD quality) that won't even be released until February. With all the advancements in technology and more and more people connected online, why will there ever be a need to buy anything other than blank CDs? And in that situation, how will the artists afford to make music if there's no one to buy it? BLISS: I'm torn on the subject... I haven't released any CDs yet so I haven't had to worry about MP3s. Running a record label that (at the moment) only releases vinyl, it's not a concern. Personally, I think the music industry would be way better off out of the hands of the major labels, and love when bands such as the Beastie Boys embrace this new MP3 medium and release some tracks online that won't be on their official CD releases. (QUESTION) What is the best party you ever attended, and why? BOTH: FURTHUR!!! BRIAN: For reasons you would never understand. BLISS: Those guys in the Midwestern USA are truly mad as a fish. Drop Bass Network knows how to throw a party. BRIAN: Burn baby burn! (QUESTION) Now that techno has really matured, established itself in society, where do you think the future of techno lies? HOW TO BE THE BLISS: As we mentioned before, it still has plenty of room to grow over here. It's still not established enough yet. BRIAN: The greatest thing about techno is the fact that it's always been unpredictable through its evolution. ‘FUNNY GUY’ BLISS: It's all about me bangin' my balls on a bongo. (QUESTION) Do you believe in plur (peace, love, unity, and respect), and how do you live it in everyday life? AT YOUR LAME BOTH: Ha-ha-ha-ha. PLUR is the last thing we expected to hear outside the US. BRIAN: We believe in respecting others, but the term PLUR gets a bit hoaky at times. BLISS: I have a long-standing joke that PLUR is the sound of bullets whizzing past your head. "Peeoooowng" "Pluuuuuurrrr" "Bazzzink". (QUESTION) What are your plans after the millennium? Are you y2k compliant OFFICE JOB BRIAN: Well we will be ringing in the new year by performing at Mersey Productions' "Millennium Z" event in Brno, and if the airlines are not y2k compliant we may be your new WELL IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD OR WHAT? Can I go home now? neighbor!!! It’s the end of the year, it’s the end of the century, it’s the end of the millennium. BLISS: We're finishing up the European leg of the Inertia World Tour on new year's, and We’ve all been through this before, right? I mean, it’s only a date, right? Nothing then going back to the US to continue it. After we wind that up, we're going bad’s gonna happen, errright? to concentrate on our labels (Activated, Progress USA and Built) for a bit. We're But what if it does? What if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come flying going to alternate our focus between DJing and Production work. There are still lots of in? What if David Koresh and his wacky WACOvites were right? What if the Mayans places in the world that we want to see. ended their calender right about now for a reason? Then you’ve got the perfect (QUESTION) Do you program your own beats? excuse to test all limits of societal norms and be a real funny guy at the same time. BRIAN: Yes. I have been producing my own music for about 4 years now and have about And if nothing happens, just tell ‘em the chip in your brain isn’t Y2K compliant! 10 releases under my belt, ranging from breakbeats to trip-hop to my current sound, which is deep moody trance. Top Ten Ways to be the "Funny Guy" in Your Office BLISS: I kicked off my production career about a year ago with Brian as our project 10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath "Innercourse". The debut release ("Waypoint 1") did well, and got support from the likes of even if they don't, and then punch them in the face. John Digweed, Nick Warren, Andy Jarrod, and Chris Fortier from the Balance Promote 9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone Group (they are a major force for pushing new music in the US). gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you're just (QUESTION) DJ Bliss, in this Internet age, how important of a role does the printed page kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers. have in spreading information? Still, most people down have computers, actually I read 8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during that 80% of the planet doesn't even have fone access. Comments, please. the meeting, put one finger in the air and make like you are BLISS: I think the printed page will always be necessary, at least until we all have hocking up a big loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass cyberdeck implants installed in our heads where we can upload and download and hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat that." information directly (read any and all William Gibson novels for this idea). I am also inter- 7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good ested in media virii, memes, poetic terrorism, propaganda - all of those things rely on hooker." Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs hitting you when you aren't expecting it - whereas anyone sitting down in front of a a good "ass fucking." computer is usually looking for something specific and disregarding anything not relating 6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep to what they are looking for. The same goes for advertising -- whether we like it or not, one hand down your pants. it's effective. All of that aside- you can't take a computer into the bathroom with you- and 5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know!" that's where I get most of my reading done. Maybe someone should invent a bathroom PC. Then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match BRIAN: I wonder how many people who are currently reading this interview are actually their race. in the bathroom. 4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing (QUESTION) And on a final note, what do you guys know of the Czech Republic, what with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around have you heard and what do you expect when you get here? Are you ready shaking everyone's hand. fer the famously beautiful Czech girlz? 3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in BRIAN: Absinthe, beautiful girls, what else is there?? and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try BLISS: Let's just say that I don't think I would mind getting stranded there because to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh of Y2k, if all the girls there look anything like DJ La-di-da. and point. 2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over (NOTE) You can catch the Inertia World Tour at Millennium Z and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then, on December 31st in Brno (www.milleniumz.cz) thrown by Mersey Productions when it stops, look down and say, "Oh." and sponsored by Swatch. For more information on Inertia visit 1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and www.inertiarecordgroup.com stick it in your butt. Return it and tell the person to smell it. When they tell you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had it in my butt!"

31 ZASE NùCO NOV¯HO:

Spojením dvou prvních slabik jeho jména MArtin a příjmení se dobereme názvu hudební agentury Mafo, která, použiji zavedené ale v tuto chvíli vhodné klišé, má FOřt nemalý podíl na kvalitě naší scény. Rozhovor s Martinem Fořtem.

(EK) Chci vědět všechno o tvé agentuře, jak a kdy jsi začal, o tvém osobním životě, profesionálním životě, pohled na tvou kariéru… Začal jsem někdy v roce 92-93 a měl jsem hlad a chtěl jsem něco jíst. Přišel jsem do Prahy ze Štětí... (EK) Štětí je kde? V Severních Čechách. (EK) Co jsi tam dělal? Taky jsem tam třeba žil, studoval, dělal prográmatora. Měl jsem tam kapelu, ve které jsem zpíval, ale hrozně mě to město svazovalo, máš tam tak jednu zábavu do týdne. (EK) Jaká to byla kapela? Já už ani nevím, jak se jmenovala. (EK) A žánr? Death metal. PROMOTOR (EK) Byl jsi mánička? No jasně. A kdo nebyl v 89? „V tomhle společným svrabu, který v tomhle státě je, kdy se fakt nikdo z promotérů nemá moc dobře, necítím vůbec konkurenci jako zloduchy, který by mi šli po krku.“

(EK) Já. roze‰li a on se motal po Praze a fie‰il svoje problémy… ale furt mi bylo jasn˘, co chci dûlat. Já jo! Vlastnû jsem se nikdy na sebe takhle zpûtnû nepodíval. (EK) Byla jsem je‰tû malá! (EK) Nûkdy je docela pfiíjemn˘ si to fiíct nahlas. Nûkolik let nebo mûsícÛ se vrátit zpût No mû bylo uÏ 18 let, pak jsem se dostal do Prahy, nemûl jsem co jíst a fiikal jsem si, co budu dûlat? a odÛvodnit si to, co dûlበa kde jsi teì. Tak jsem se Ïivil s kapelou Zástup Jin˘ch. Nûkde jsme dostali dvû tfii kila na hlavu. Pozdûji jsem Urãitû vûfiím v to, Ïe v kaÏdém ãlovûkovi je nûco, co kdyÏ si v sobû najde, tak to je opravdu to svojí kapele zaãal dûlat management, ale do‰lo to tak daleko, Ïe mû zbytek kapely osoãoval, Ïe si nejlep‰í, co mÛÏe udûlat. Kdyby se u mû projevilo to, Ïe budu onanovat pfied davem, jako manager nechávám peníze. Pochopitelnû, Ïe jsem si je tak to budu dûlat, kdyÏ mû to bude bavit. Ale jsem zrovna ten, koho oslovila hudba nechával, protoÏe jsem tu práci dûlal. a vnitfinû se stále cítím jako muzikant, hraju doma na bicí, mám gramce a mraky cédéãek (EK) A mûl jsi hlad! a pofiád nûkde, s nûk˘m dÏemuju. Potfieboval jsem je, abych mûl z ãeho jíst a kde bydlet. Bydlel jsem v ãern˘ dífie na ÎiÏkovû. (EK) Vrátím se je‰tû o tûch nûkolik let zpût. Bylo ‰tûstí, Ïe tady je‰tû nebyla (EK) ÎiÏkov je kouzelnej! taková konkurence? Já ÎiÏkov miluju, mám ho hroznû rád, ale v t˘ dobû jsem bydlel v bytû, kde nebyla voda, záchod Agentur bylo hodnû, ale nebyl establishment, neexistovalo lobby, které v kaÏdém zavedeném byl spoleãnej na chodbû, elektriku jsme mûli napojenou z chodby, abychom vÛbec nûjakou mûli systému funguje. Staãilo trefit odvûtví, které je‰tû nikdo nemûl pfiikryto kontakty a tak to nûjak zaãalo. Rozhodl jsem se, Ïe budu dûlat spí‰ managment a lobby, rÛzn˘ma návaznostma. A kdyÏ to náhodou vy‰lo, tak jsi mûla velkou ‰anci se rozhejbat. A a booking, protoÏe jako zpûvák jsem si nikdy nepfiipadal zrovna geniální. navíc zahraniãní kapely chápaly, Ïe nemÛÏou mít takov˘ nároky, jako dneska. (EK) Jak˘ to byl rok, kdyÏ ,,to" zaãalo? Tím, Ïe tady nemûly kontakty ãastokrát trefily na tebe, aniÏ by vûdûly na koho natrefily. 92-93. Zaãalo to tím, Ïe jsem udûlal ve ·tûtí festival a pfii‰lo tam asi tisíc lidí, z niãeho nic, Schovívavostí nad tím, Ïe je tady bylo v plenkách, hrály za pár korun. Vstupn˘ bylo niωí, mohlo a koupil jsem si tam prvního kfiiváka a tak. pfiijít víc lidí a staãilo mnohem ménû práce - A4kov˘ xeroxovan˘ plakátky a lidi pfii‰li. Dneska (EK) Dovedu si tû pfiedstavit! mÛÏe‰ dûlat A1iãku, plnobarevnou, na kfiídû, ...prostû nejkrásnûj‰í plakát na svûtû Ví‰ co, je to jako z ãítanky, ale tak to je. a nic to nezaruãuje. (EK) TakÏe: Jak ambiciózní mladík z vesnice dorazil do Prahy. (EK) Kde jsi svoje koncerty nejradûji dûlal? V podstatû jo. Mladík mûl v sobû nûjak˘ ambice a chtûl oslovit víc lidí nebo dát o sobû Ze zaãátku? U ZoufalcÛ. A Bunkr, skoro mi vypadl, poslední tfii roky jsem zaji‰Èoval vût‰inu hlavních víc vûdût. Dát najevo, Ïe to mበrád a chce‰ to dûlat. Ve ·tûtí to moc ne‰lo. hvûzd Bunkru. KdyÏ skonãil, nastalo vzduchoprázdno, nevûdûl jsem, kde mám akce dûlat. Pak se (EK) Tak jsi ve‰ker˘ ambice, kter˘ k tomu asi staãí uplatnil v Praze? hodnû zaãalo dûlat v Roxy. Nûjak˘ vûci se dûlaly i jinde. Myslím si, Ïe teì uÏ k tomu ambice nestaãí, ale mûl jsem ‰tûstí, Ïe tenkrát nikdo nevûdûl Nyní agentura pfiesídlila do Paláce Akropolis a asi tady bude hodnû, hodnû koncertÛ. kdo je kdo, kdo co bude, a jak co má b˘t. (EK) V souãasnosti patfií‰ mezi pfiední promotéry v Praze. Jak ti to funguje a jak se vyrovnávበs (EK) Anarchie... konkurencí ostatních? ¤íkám s konkurencí, ale urãitû by se dalo ve vût‰inû pfiípadÛ mluvit Jasnû. Bylo to krásn˘ a kaÏd˘, kdo jen tro‰ku chtûl, byl trochu nezlomnej a nezabil ho první o spoluprácí, pfiátelství… neúspûch, mûl ‰anci prorazit. Spolu s tím souhra elánu, faktu, Ïe mám rád hudbu a toho, jaká Konkurence se vût‰inou projeví jenom v okamÏiku, kdyÏ jdou dva promotéfii po jedné kapele. byla doba. Poslední dobou vyznávam názor, Ïe je dobr˘, kdyÏ si ty dva lidi zavolaj a fieknou si, co s tím budou (EK) Pfiijel jsi do Prahy, zafiídil sis novou kanceláfi, novej byt, koupil pûkn˘ auto… dûlat. ProtoÏe si myslím, Ïe forma soupefiení , kdy si promotéfii vzájemnû nadávali Ne, to se dûlalo z rÛznejch bytÛ. Undeground. Dva tfii byty, v jednom byl telefon, v jednom fax do idiotÛ a pfiitom se na sebe smáli, kdyÏ se vidûli, ale pfiáli si to nejhor‰í, se uÏ vytratila, koneãnû! nebo se to posílalo nûkam… nûkam, kde nám dovolili, aby tam mohly chodit faxy. Pak jsem se V tomhle spoleãn˘m svrabu, kter˘ v tomhle státû je, kdy se fakt nikdo z promotérÛ nemá moc dostal k b˘val˘mu managerovi PraÏského V˘bûru, Láìovi Pokorn˘mu, kter˘ dûlal skupinû dobfie, necítím vÛbec konkurenci jako zloduchy, kter˘ by mi ‰li po krku. managera za komou‰Û a slu‰nû to vychytal a po revoluci dûlal normální bussines Spí‰ cejtím, Ïe dûlají to samé, co já a nûkdy mají ‰tûstí oni, nûkdy já. Hlavnû ani nevidím a poskytl mi prostor, abych mohl dûlat jakoby agenturku. Potom jsem se poznal s Reném konkurenci, kromû Davida Urbana, s kter˘m si obãas zakfiíÏíme cestu, i kdyÏ to není Ïádná majoritní Brejlovem, b˘val˘m managerem Support Lesbiens, kter˘ jim nejvíce pomohl a spoleãnû vûc, kaÏd˘ si dûláme svoje. Vyjma slab˘ch okamÏikÛ, kdy si nûkdo vjede do vlasÛ, je poslední dobou jsme zaãali dûlat rÛzn˘ koncerty. Cel˘ období vyvrcholilo koncertem Waltari U ZoufalcÛ, kde bylo klid. 850 lidí v sále pro 200 lidí. A tohle období rozhodlo o tom, Ïe to budu dûlat. Pracovnû jsme se Je to o vzájemném respektu. Lidi jsou ekonomickou situací donuceni trochu reálnûji uvaÏovat, 32 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999

32 TEXT A FOTO: EFKA KOLÁ¤OVÁ

pfieplácení a zákulisní drby nevedou k niãemu. Je to vedeno pfiímou nutností: pakliÏe nechci, aby se to stalo mnû, co se stane nûkomu, kdyÏ se budu chovat jako kurva, tak bych to nemûl dûlat! Je to logick˘, i kdyÏ na to ãlovûk dlouho pfiichází, má svoje komplexy, jiné vnímání svûta a ãasto, kdyÏ je‰tû nemá v‰echny vûci v hlavû srovnané, mu mÛÏou pfiijít jako útok nebo ohroÏení. Pfiitom to ohroÏení není, staãí se jen na to vyka‰lat, ale na to ãovûk pfiichází postupnû. VÛbec nevidím nepfiá- telství, spí‰ vnímám, Ïe ty lidi bojují o pfieÏití, o svojí identitu a taky, aby mûli co jíst a mûli se dobfie. (EK) Existuje návod, jak se stát úspe‰n˘m promotérem? Myslím si, Ïe je to v tom, nakolik se v tvé práci projevuje, jestli tû to baví nebo ne. Tam vidím mnohem víc, jestli to je dobfie nebo ‰patnû. Mûl jsem okamÏiky, kdy jsem mnohem víc dûlal koncerty metalov˘ch kapel, potfieboval jsem peníze, abych mohl fungovat a to bylo období, které mû vÛbec nebavilo. I kdyÏ jsem metalista byl, ale velice rychle to vyprchalo, byl to odrazov˘ mÛstek. Na mal˘m mûstû si mohla vnímat buì metal nebo Depe‰áky, nic jin˘ho nebylo. Metal mi poslouÏil k tomu, jak to zaãít dûlat, ale samozfiejmû, jestliÏe ãlovûk je trochu senzitivní a vnímající, tak mu dojde, Ïe tohle je hodnû omezující Ïánr. âlovûk jde dál a zjistí, po nûjak˘ch zku‰enostech s psychotropníma látkama, Ïe tû nûjak˘ taka-taka-taka moc neuvolÀuje. Uvûdomûním si vûcí, vyzráváním a látkama, které do té doby neznal, se zmûní vnímání. Vidí‰ lidi, kter˘ tû baví, mበje rád, jak poslouchají hudbu, kter˘ nerozumí‰, koukበna nû a sleduje‰, jak jsou vklidu a fiikበsi: Jé, já chci b˘t taky v klidu. Teì se tomu smûju. Je to skloubení tûchto vûcí: vyzrávání, pfiátel, psychotropních látek a vnímání hudby. (EK) A ‰tûstí. To je cel˘ ‰tûstí. Je ‰tûstí a pod ním jsou ostatní vûci. (EK) Jak˘ jsi mûl pocit z roku 99, budu o nûm mluvit, jako o loÀském roce, kdy jsi v Praze udûlal opravdu spoustu v˘born˘ch vûcí? Já z toho roku mám taky radost. Byl pro mû takov˘m efektem tûch dvou let pfied tim, kdy jsem nechal bûÏet metalov˘ koncerty, tûmi jsem vydûlával peníze, abych mohl experimentovat. Byla to jistota pfiíjmÛ penûz, i kdyÏ mû ty koncerty nebavily, teda nûco jo, nûco ne. Nûco víc nûco míÀ, v nûãem byla nostalgie po star˘ch ãasech, napfi. Testament nebo Faitn No More, to je srdcová záleÏitost. âlovûk mûl ãas, nemusel se metalu tolik vûnovat, protoÏe vûdûl, Ïe uÏ to funguje. Teì uÏ si dûlám, co chci, jednou death metal a je to v pohodû, protoÏe za t˘den dûlám drum'n' bass, pfií‰tí t˘den dûlám hust˘ techno a poté hip-hop. Není to o tom, angaÏovat se v urãit˘ sortû, uÏ to je samo o sobû omezující. Za rok ten styl mÛÏe vyprchat a ty se bude‰ dva roky lopotit, co bude dál. Je mnohem lep‰í to vnímat jako celek: tohle se mi líbí, tohle se mi líbí, tohle je nutn˘ udûlat, to chci udûlat a tohle by nebylo ‰patn˘. Nûco vydûlá, nûco prodûlá a nûco se zaplatí. (EK) Co jsi z tohoto celku dûlal v roce nejradûji? Prozraì favorita! Cardigans a hned v závûsu Pharcyde - hip hop z Los Angeles, to bylo dobr˘. Mám problém se pfii kaÏdodenním návalu uvolnit a jít na nûjakou akci. Navíc jsem zdeformovanej a pozoruju, jak˘ tam jsou svûtla, letáãky a jestli je v‰echno v pofiádku, ví‰ co? (EK) Vím pfiesnû, o ãem mluví‰. A samotn˘ hudební v˘stup mû míjí. Tramvaják pfii‰el do jin˘ tramvaje. (EK) Kolik lidí zahrnuje agentura Mafo? V tuto chvíli jsou v kanceláfii ãtyfii lidi a je‰tû pravidelní spolupracovníci - svûtlafii, zvukafii, dopravci, osvûtlovaãi. (EK) Co plánuje‰ na Silvestra? Letos jsme si na sebe upletli biã, od 11. prosince provozujeme klub v Peci pod SnûÏkou. Pfiipravujeme hroznou silvestrovskou kalbu, nûjak˘ djs, nûjaká v˘zdoba, nûjak˘ úchylárny. (EK) Je to nov˘ prostor? Není, jmenuje se pension Bohat˘r, v‰ichni mu fiikáme Boháã, je tam sál alá Rock Café - dvûstû, tfiista lidí se tam vejde. A navíc je kousek od sjezdovky. (EK) Na co se chystበpfií‰tí rok? VÛbec je‰tû nemám konkrétní pfiedstavu, ale samozfiejmû mám v hlavû rÛzné vûci, které chci pfiivést. Ale mohla by to b˘t inspirace i pro nûkoho jiného. âasto v dobr˘m rozmaru, abych udûlal radost nejen sobû, ale i lidem okolo mluvím o nûãem, co se pak nepovede a pro spoustu lidí to je vdûãn˘ téma, jak budovat moji image z venku. To se ãlovûk nauãí. I kdyÏ nûkterá konkrétní jména mÛÏu fiíct - Mr. Bungle, Waltari a dal‰í. (EK) Co si slibuje‰, pokud si vÛbec nûco slibuje‰, od nového tisíciletí? Nic. Mû stra‰nû udivuje, Ïe 70% populace si myslí, Ïe se nûco stane. Najednou v‰ichni nakupujou cukr a ãoãku.. VáÏnû, ãetl jsem nûjakou statistiku. Je to asi psychóza. Pfií‰tí tisíciletí bude do jisté míry zlomov˘, lidstvo samo sebe nûkolikrát zniãí a bude to je‰tû zajímav˘. (EK) Máme se na co tû‰it! Jak se ti vesmûs spolupracuje s médii? Pfiipadá mi, Ïe média nûkdy pfieceÀují svoji pozici. Mám pocit, Ïe lhaní okolo nákladÛ a remitend je zbyteãn˘, jen aby vypadalo, Ïe médium má vût‰í dopad na cílovou skupinu a to mi pfiipadá stupidní! A nelíbí se mi, Ïe nûkterá média skuteãnû nejsou ochotna s tebou jít do nov˘ vûci. Máme ukrutn˘ problémy, kromû pár médií, o kter˘ch víme, Ïe jsou v pohodû vysvûtlit, Ïe aÏ kapela pfiijede podruh˘ a oni nám teì pomÛÏou, mají samozfiejmû automaticky právo s náma do toho jít i pfií‰tû. Nedûláme vûci, které by pfii‰ly a ode‰ly, snaÏíme se vûci vybírat tak, aby mûly budoucnost. Ale neháÏu do pytle v‰echny, naopak uÏ mnozí pochopili. The only place in Malá Strana open (EK) Jak si nejradûji odpoãine‰, kdyÏ mበãas? To ti nemÛÏu takhle fiíct, abys to napsala. all night long, with hot food and cold (EK) Tak zkus v˘lety do pfiírody, váÏnou hudbu… drinks, everyday from 10am to 8am! Mám hroznû rád decentní hudbu, milounkou, mûkkou hudbiãku, vûci jako Akascha, Massive Attack, Dimitry from Paris. Vûci, kter˘ mû baví a mÛÏu se u nich uvolnit v kombinaci s dobr˘m hulením a Pivnice U GlaubicÛ, Malostranské spoustu dal‰ích vûcí, kter˘ nemÛ‰e‰ po mnû chtít, abych konkretizoval. nám. 5/266, Praha 1, 02/5753 2027

33 I LIKE MY COFFEE LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN, COLD & BITTER. Coffee factoids: Coffee may jump start you, but it works best if you’re bored. It increases alertness and Renhances performance, but its effects are most pronounced on performance levels that are already low because of boredom.

You can’t rely on it as a diet aid, but caffeine Rdoes speed up your metabolism a bit.

Caffeinism-or coffee nerves-strikes only those who are unaccustomed to high doses Rof caffeine. Those who are already addicted and are then deprived, suffer irritability, restless- THE HIGHS, THE LOWS, THE JITTERS ness, lethargy and a headache that doesn’t go away for a day or two. By Paul Schnieder extra-receptors theory proves correct, researchers believe it will help account for some of the very real Only intellectual speed, not power, is increased affeine, ah, sweet indescribably necessary elixir, caffeine withdrawal symptoms. The common Rby caffeine. Cwithout which mornings are impossible. At headache is a case in point. Caffeine contracts the least, that is, mornings for those in the vicinity brain’s blood vessels while adenosine expands them. Besides the caffeine and methyl in your of me. For almost 5 millenniums we humans have When the caffeine supply is cuts off and adenosine coffee, you should also worry about ingesting been sipping tea, drinking coffee, chewing cocoa hits the extra supply of receptors, your brain veins Rchlorine from those bleached paper filters. beans, gnawing maté, guzzling cola and generally swell up to quite a painful degree. The solution is an To avoid these use the brown unbleached filters, doing whatever it takes to extract caffeine from the aspirin and a strong cup of caffeine! a French press or invest in one of those reusable sixty or so plants that produce it. And for the impa- The brain’s role in other documented symptoms of gold-plated mesh baskets. tient ones amongst us, caffeine is added to hundreds severe caffeine withdrawal-muscle aches, runny of over-the-counter drugs. We’re not just talking No- noses, nausea, fatigue, vomiting-is less clear. „Just as Everyone knows it and science backs it up; Joe Doz or CoffeeGo, but a vast array of cold, headache with withdrawal from more dangerous drugs like Rwill cause you to have a closer relationship with and diet concoctions. cocaine, we’re not sure of the exact location of the the John. Caffeine is both a diuretic and a laxative. Must of us don’t „do“ caffeine to stimulate our effect, whether it’s actually generated in the brain or gastric juices, though it does that. Nor are we partic- at a specific site in the body,“ offers J. Hopkins The world looks better when you’re wired, at ularly interested in its proven capacity as a diuretic. least according to a ten year study done by So potent an enemy of muscle fatigue and enhancer RKaiser Permanente Hospital in Northern of strength is caffeine that the Olympic Committee Where to get it: California. The study suggests that caffeine is an regularly checks athletes for excessive levels, and the the caffeine dose American Institute of Medicine recommended that Coffee (150ml) the pentagon add it to troops’ rations. But most of Filter drip regular 60-180mg the time, that’s not why we take it either. We Instant regular 30-120mg consume caffeine for the brain. „The most widely All decaffeinated 1-5mg consumed psychoactive drug in the world,“ is how the Espresso 50-100mg experts describe it. Brain medicine, pure and simple. Tea, Brewed (150ml 20-90mg It takes about 30 minutes for the caffeine from a Green tea 35mg decent cup of coffee to arrive full force in the seat of Coca-Cola (360ml) 45.6mg reason. Once there it does its work mainly by stealth. Milk chocolate (29g) 1-15mg According to accepted scientific wisdom, caffeine Dark chocolate (29g) 5-35mg doesn’t directly stimulate your cortex so much as prevent it from receiving a chemical signal called (Source: US Food and Drug Administration) adenosine, a naturally occurring depressant. The brain anti-depressant, and that 1 to 3 cup a day drinkers has special receptors that, when plugged with passing are 30% less likely to commit suicide that adenosine, slows the body down. But caffeine is so Medical University professor Roland Griffiths. „But we nondrinkers, while those of us who drink a pot a day similar in molecular shape to adenosine that it slips know it’s very real. Performance is impaired in with- are 80% less likely, but the truth is, we’re just too into the receptor instead, blocking the adenosine. drawal. Caffeine withdrawal is not in any way just a busy to end it all. Caffeine is like oil between your tires and the pave- ‘psychological phenomenon.’“ ment; the light is red but you’re not stopping at the And the good news is... no study has yet found a Despite rumors current among latté lovers intersection. convincing connection between caffeine and a host of Raside, espresso doest not contain less caffeine Of course, for those of us with one eye always serious diseases. So far, caffeine has beaten the rap on than other types of coffee. It’s just that it is served cocked on the coffee maker in the corner, this charges of causing heart disease, birth defects, vari- in one or two-ounce demitasse cups, versus the suppression of adenosine certainly feels like stimula- ous cancers, even PMS. The evidence on caffeine and regular 150ml. cups. Every 30 grams of espresso tion, (and pharmacologists do classify caffeine as a miscarriage is inconclusive, but it only makes sense contains about 40-50ml. of caffeine, so that stimulant!) The problem is, the adenosine is still there that women shouldn’t drink so much jolt during preg- a 750ml. espresso would weigh in at a whopping in the nervous system, floating around, building up, nancy, and women with a family history of osteo- 200-250ml. waiting. Yup, crash. The half-life of caffeine-the time porosis should be aware of caffeine’s role in reducing it takes your body to eliminate 50% of the amount body calcium. But even though caffeine ranks as one The cheaper the coffee, the bigger the kick. ingested-is about five hours. But long before that you of the world’s most researched drugs, that’s about all I know your coffee dealer won’t agree, probably drank another pot of coffee. you have to worry about. Rbut measure to measure, a cheap cup-o-joe There’s a theory about caffeine tolerance-the verifi- Best of all, those odd folks which study the sex lives will actually contain up to 25% more caffeine able increased desire for caffeine amongst us ten-plus of senior citizens discovered that elderly folk who than fancy designer brews. That’s because cheaper cups a day crowd-that’s gaining approval among consume coffee often are much more likely to be coffee is made from the stronger robusta beans, and neuroscientists. This postulates that in order to make getting it on in the bedroom more regularly than their the boutique kavarny use the expensive arabica up for the bush-wacked adenosine, the brain grows peers that don’t drink it. So, cut back a couple cups a beans. As for taste, well, why do you think more receptors in a process called upregulation. If this day, maybe, but quit? Not on your life, grandpa. god invented sugar and cream?

34 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 „THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK.“ Vyhlá‰eno nejlep‰í kávou v Praze! AND IT’S LEGAL! Rádiem Kiss FM, Think Magazínem a The Prague Post

Let's start this off with a normal spider web. Ve stylu Not perfect, but hey, západního it's just a little spider. pobfieÏí Speciální Coffee Shop Now after giving the spider some mescaline, a derivative of peyote, it looks pretty much the same, just a little wider gap at the top.

...speciální ‰álek kávy v na‰em krásném prostfiedí Now if the spider were nebo s sebou! to somehow get a little stoned, it'd be a bit lazy, PasáÏ Plat˘z, Národní tfiída 37, po/pá 7:00-20:00, so/ned 9:00-20:00 and you could tell by it's web. It didn't even really bother to finish. Come Enjoy

Now if you were to give a spider the mind-expanding drug LSD, well, just sit back and take in it's beauty. Symmetry at its best.

Now, coffee lovers can find all their favorite coffee drinks including espresso, And, if you were to give a poor cappuccino, latté, iced cappuccino, iced little innocent spider one of the latté and Freeze Express to go. drugs our society considers legal, as a matter of fact, so legal it's All coffee drinks can be made decaf. in just about every drink you Delicious sand wiches, buy, and even some other brownies, cookies and random things, like breath mints, you would have given gourmet cakes. So be it caffeine and left the poor sure to stop in for thing barely functional. Draw your own conclusions, I know you will any - the perfect cup of way. If nothing else, these webs definitely serve coffee… as food for thought. And conversation pieces. Dlouhá 39, Praha 1 35 WHY WOULD WE LIST EVERYWHERE, WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD RESTAURANTS TO CHOOSE FROM?

AMERICAN U KNIHOMOLA Mánesova 79, Praha 2 INSTITUT FRANCAIS ·tûpánská 35, Praha 1 U ROZVA¤ILÒ, Na Pofiíãí, Praha 1 T M M T M AMBIENTE: THE LIVING RESTAURANT 627 7767 Jifiího z Podûbrad Muzeum 2481 1736 Florenc T Mánesova 59, Praha 2 T6227 5922 U MALTÉZSK¯CH RYTÍ¤Ò Prokopská 10, Praha 1 KAMPA PARK Na Kampû 8b, Praha 1 5731 3493 IRISH/CELTIC M T536357 Tram 12, 22 Helichova MMalostranská Tram 12, 22 Helichova Jifiího z Podûbrad BOJJ KELTIC BAR, Betlémské nám. 8, Praha 1 AMBIENTE II Americká 18, Praha 2 U MATOU·E Presslova 17, Praha 5 LA PROVENCE ·tupartská 9, Praha 1 T M T M T2421 5337 MNárodní tfiída T691 1882 Mnám. Míru 546 284 Andûl 232 4801 nám. Republiky CAFFREY’S IRISH BAR Staromûstské nám. 10, AMERICAN KITCHEN, Kfiemencova 19, Praha 1 U MEDVÍDKÒ Na Per‰t˘nû 7, Praha 1 MECCA UprÛhoni 3, Praha 7, Hole‰ovice T M T M T2491 6047 MNárodní tfiída 2422 0930 Národní tfiída T8387 0502 Trams 1,3,12,24 Praha 1 2482 8031 Staromûstská M AVALON BAR & GRILL Malostranské nám. 12, U MODRÉ KACHNIâKY Nebovídská 6, Praha 1 MEDUZA Belgická 19, Praha 2 nám. Miru JAMES JOYCE Liliová 10, Praha 1 T Praha 1 T530 276, 530 263 MMalostranská 5732 0308 Tram 12, 22 Helichova METAMORPHIS Malá ·tupartská 5/636, Praha 1 T2424 8793 MNárodní tfiída T M BOHEMIA BAGEL Újezd 16, Praha 1 U POâTÒ M. Horákové 47, Praha 7 2482 7058 nám. Republiky MOLLY MALONE’S U obecního dvora 4, Praha 1 T M T531 002 Tram 9, 12, 22 3337 1419 Hradãanská PALFFY PALÁC Vald‰tejnská 14, Praha 1 T534 793 Tram 5, 14, 26 BUFFALO BILL’S Vodiãkova 9, Praha 1 U SVATÉHO HUBERTA, Husova 7, Praha 1 T513 2418 MMalostranská SCARLETT O’HARA’S Mostecká 21, Praha 1 T2421 7510 MStaromûstská T2421 5479 Tram 3, 9, 14, 24 RASPUTIN KodaÀská 47, Praha 10 T733 585 T534 793 MMalostranská, Tram 12, 22 CORNUCOPIA Jungmannova 1, Praha 1 U VYST¤ELEN¯HO OKA, U boÏích bojovníkÛ 3, ¤ECKÁ TAVERNA Revoluãní 16, Praha 1 Praha 3, Bus 133 nebo 207, 2 zastávky od T2422 0950 Tram 3, 9, 14, 24 T231 7762 MNámûstí republiky ITALIAN/GREEK MFlorence na Konûvovû JÁMA V Jámû 7, Praha 1 RED ROOM Kfiemencova 17 20, Praha 1 KOGO Havelská 27, Praha 1 T9000 0412 MMÛstek, Tram 3, 9, 14 VALD·TEJNSKÁ HOSPODA, Tomá‰ská 16, Praha 1 T M T2491 6047 MNárodní tfiída T302 1048 MMÛstek LEGENDS T˘nsk˘ dvÛr, T˘n 1, Praha 1 536 195 Národní tfiída REYKJAV¯K Karlova 20, Praha 1 T2489 5404 Mnám. Republiky VINÁRNA NA VY·EHRADù, ·tulcova 102/2, Praha 2 MODRÁ ZAHRADA, PafiíÏská 14, Praha 1 T M T M T M PORTO BELLO Americká 18, Praha 2 2423 9297 Vy‰ehrad 2422 9251 Staromûstská 232 71 71 Staromûstská T T6911 8822 MNámûstí Míru ÎOFÍN, Îofín 226, Praha 1 9000 0662 Tram 22, U BÍLÉ KRÁVY, Rube‰ova 10, Praha 2 MIKULÁS PIZZERIA Benediktská 16, Praha 1 T M RED HOT & BLUES Jakubská 12, Praha 1 9, 18, 6, Národní divadlo 2423 9571 Námûstí Míru T231 5727 MStaromûstská T231 4639 Mnám. Republiky OSTROFF, Stfieleck˘ ostrov 336, Praha 1 THIRSTY DOG Eli‰ky Krásnohorské 5, Praha 1 T24919235. Tram 9, 22, MNárodní divadlo MStaromûstská PASTA E BASTA SenováÏné nám. 21 U MALÉHO GLENA Karmelitská 23, Praha 1 T2210 5518 Tram 3, 9, 14, 24, 26 T M 535 8115 Malostranská PIZZA COLOSEUM Vodiãkova 32, Praha 1 VIDEO EXPRESS CAFÉ Îitná 41, Praha 2 T2421 4914 Tram 3, 9, 14, 24 T0603 343 684 MMuzeum PIZZERIA GREEN TOMATO Jindfii‰ská 18, Praha 1 ASIAN/INDIAN/MIDDLE EASTERN T262 977 MMÛstek BAROCK BAR & CAFÉ PafiíÏská 24, Praha 1 PIZZERIA GROSSETO, Francouzská 2, Praha 2 T232 9221 MMÛstek T2425 2778 MNámûstí Míru CASABLANCA Na Pfiíkopû 10, Praha 1 PIZZERIA KMOTRA, V Jircháfiích 12, Praha 1 T2421 0519 MMÛstek T2491 5809 MNárodní tfiída DAI BUFET Havelská 6, Praha 1 PIZZERIA MAMMA MIA, Na Pofiíãí 14, Praha 1 T2423 2056 MMÛstek T232 87 30 MNámûstí Republiky M DELUX Vaclavské nám. 4, Praha 1 MÛstek PIZZERIA ROMA Jagellonská 16, Praha 3 FAKHERELDINE Klimentská 48, Praha 1 T627 2559 MJifiího z Podûbrad T232 7970 Tram 5, 14, 26 PIZZERIA RUGANTINO Du‰ní 4, Praha 1 JEWEL OF INDIA PafiíÏská 20, Praha 1 T231 8172 Mnám. Republiky T2481 1010 MStaromûstská MAILSI Lipanská 1, Praha 3 PIZZA WEST nám. bratfií SynkÛ 5/1, Praha 4 T0603 466626 Tram 5, 9, 26, 55, 58 T692 4341 Tram 11 nebo 18 MAYUR ·tûpánská 61, Praha 1 TRATTORIA CICALA, Îitná 43, Praha 2 T2422 6737 Tram 4, 10, 22 ·tûpánská T2221 0375 MI.P. Pavlova MIYABI Navrátilova 10, Praha 1 KOSHER T295 376 Tram 3, 6, 14, 18, 21, 22, 24 BOHEMIA BAGEL Újezd 16, Praha 1 PASHA Letenská 1, Praha 1 T T549 773 MMalostranská 531 002 Tram 9, 12, 22 PEKING RESTAURANT T 293 531, SOUTH AMERICAN M pfiímo na I.P. Pavlova BARRACUDA Krymská 2, Praha 10 SAKURA ·tefánikova 7-9, Praha 5 T746 881 Tram 4, 22, 34 T544 619 MAndûl CANTINA Újezd 28, Praha 1 SHALIMAR TANDOORI Balbínova 26, Praha 2 T T2225 0654 MMuzeum 5731 7173 Tram 9, 12, 22 TAJ MAHAL ·krétova 10, Praha 2 LA CAMBUSA Klicperova 2, Praha 5 T220 438 MMuzeum T541 433, 541 678 THAI-BAR-ITAL V Hole‰oviãkách 22, Praha 8 Bagely jsou nyní LA GOLOSINA Na V˘toni 12, Praha 2 T688 8740 Bus 102, 156, 175 (Rokoska) T29 26 53 Tram 3, 7, 16, 17, 18 AUSTRALIAN RINCON Melantrichova 12, Praha 1 jenom za 7Kč! T264 498 MMÛstek BUMERANG Lond˘nská 52, Praha 2 Újezd 16, T2251 8572 Mnám. Míru RUSSIAN Praha 1, a sendviče začínají už od 69Kč! ČESKÁ RASPUTIN Kondanská 47, Praha 10 T733 585 AKROPOLIS Kubelíkova 27, Praha 3 Tel./Fax: RUSSIAN SAMOVAR Ditrichova 25, Praha 2 MJifiího z Podûbrad 530 921 Skutečně chutná volba! T299 011 MKarlova nám. Bel Ami Na Kampû 14, Praha 1 VEGETARIAN/HEALTH T539 985 Tram 22, 12 Helichova EUROPEAN/CONTINENTAL BONA VITA Dlouhá 4, Praha 1 BLATOUCH VûzeÀská 4, Praha 1 BAR BAR V‰ehrdova 17, Praha 1 U KNIHOMOLA Mánesova 79, Praha 2 T M T231 1376 MStaromûstská 232 8643 Staromûstská T532 041 Tram 9, 12, 22 T627 7767 MJifiího z Podûbrad COUNTRY LIFE Jungmannova 1, Praha 1 CRAZY DAISY Vinohradská 142, Praha 3 BAROCK, PafiíÏská 24, Praha 1 U MALͤÒ, Maltézské nám. 11, Praha 1 T M T2454 4419 Tram 3, 9, 14, 24 671 0371 Flora T232 92 21 MStaromûstská T5732 0317 Tram 12, 22 Helichova HÁJOVNA Oldfiíãkova 29, Praha 3 BRASSIERE LE MOLIERE, Americká 20, Praha 2 U PETRSKÉ VùÎE, Petrská 12, Praha 1 RADOST FX CAFÉ Bûlehradská 120, Praha 2 T621 0193 MJifiího z Podûbrad T M T M T9000 3344 MNámûstí Míru 232 98 56 Masarykovo nádraÏí 251 210 I.P. Pavlova KLUB ARCHITEKTÒ Betlémské nám. 5a, Praha 1 CHEZ MARCEL Ha‰talská 12, Praha 1 U SVATÉHO JAKUBA, Jakubská 4, Praha 1 GOVINDA VEGETARIAN CLUB Soukenická 27, T24401214 MNárodní tfiída T M T231 5676 Tram 5, 14, 26 232 26 85 Staromûstská Praha 1, Tram 5, 14, 26 KOJAK’S Anny Letenské 16/916, Praha 2 U ZLATÉHO ORLA Josefská 1, Praha 1, DIOGENES Gorazdova 22, Praha 2 T29 63 95 JO’S BAR Malostranské nám. 7, Praha 1 T2225 0594 Tram 11 Malá Strana, T530 795 Tram 9, 12, 22 ÉRRA CAFÉ Konviktská 11, Praha 1 T530 942 MMalostranská KOZIâKA Kozí 1, Praha 1 VINÁRNA V ZÁTI·Í, Liliová 1, Praha 1 T M THE GLOBE Janovského 14, Praha 7 T2481 8308 MStaromûstská 2423 3427 Národní tfiída T2422 8977 MNárodní tfiída T T LETENSK¯ ZÁMEâEK Letenské sady FAROS, ·porkova 5, Praha 1 5731 6945 ZLAT¯ KOHOUT, Karlovo nám. 24, Praha 2 6671 2610 Tram 1, 5, 8, 17, 25, 26 M M T341 371 678 Tram 17, 12, 5, 14 Tram 12, 22 Malostranské námûstí T2491 4286 MKarlovo námûstí U GOVINDY Na hrázi 5, Praha 8 Palmovka FRANCOUZSKÁ, Nám. Republiky 5, Praha 1 VELRYBA Opatovická 24, Praha 1 NA ZVONA¤CE ·afafiíkova 1, Praha 2 FAST FOOD! T2425 1990 MI.P. Pavlova T2200 2777 MNámûstí Republiky T2491 2484 MNárodní tfiída GRILL BONO, Spálená 43, Praha 1 OBECNÍ DÒM Nám. Republiky, Praha 1 FROMIN Václavské nám. 21, Praha 1 T M YUGOSLAVIAN T2200 2780 MNámûstí Republiky T2423 2319 MMÛstek 290 232 Národní tfiída PRAVùK Budeãská 6, Praha 2 HANAVSK¯ PAVILON, Letenské sady 173, Praha 7 ISTANBUL DONER KEBAB, Opletalova 13, Praha 1 DOLLY BELL Neklanova 20, Praha 2 T2425 2287 MNámûstí Míru T3332 3641 Tram 17, 12, 5, 14 Letná T2423 7017 MHlavní nádraÏí T298 815 Tram 3, 7, 16, 17 RADEGAST PIVNICE Templová 40, Praha 1 HOGO FOGO Salvátorská 4, Praha 1 PIZZA HUT, Celetná 3, Praha 1 T2423 9421 ZLATÁ ULIâKA Masná 9, Praha 1 Mnám. Republiky T231 7023 MMÛstek MNámûstí Republiky T232 0884 Tram 5, 14, 26, 36 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 A CYNIC IS A PERSON SEARCHING FOR AN HONEST MAN, WITH A STOLEN LANTERN. Watching and waiting for the end of the Millennium; study- ing all the end-time prophecies; maintaining a Search for Extra-terrestrial Intelligence on my computer as we enter the Journey to the Six Sun according to the Mayan’s calender sure makes a fellow hungry. What are your dinner plans for the end of time? If you haven’t thought about it yet, we at Think suggest the following stellar choices. As for Me? I’ll be in the basement bomb shelter with my ammo & my rations. Let ‘em eat lead!

o where are you gonna eat on New Year’s Eve? Václavák? You won’t catch me Swithin a mile (1.609km) of the place. But if you do, my good friend tells me that if you wrap yourself in a Czech flag, you reduce your chances of gettin’ a beating that other, less clever, foreigners will probably get when they go „huh?" to some under- employed, drunk steel worker from Ostrava after having a few too many. Y2K MEAL PLANNING But there are places to get the chow down and have a good time while you’re at it, some smack dab on the square (rectangle), some on the other side of town. bottle, there’ll be a lingerie fashion show featuring three runners-up of the Miss At the bottom of the hill but the height of posh is Delux’s ATOMIC NEW YEAR PARTY Czech Republic konkurs and an erotically out of control COED midnight surprise, a (Vaclavské nám. 4, Praha 1) which will feature fine Thai dining, in the form Disco Dance contest and special deejays flown in special from Americas’ crack capi- of a 5 course meal, which is an adventure in itself and a fine leisurely way to tol; Washington DC! consume. The champagne will flow, with every couple getting a bottle, and if I spent a few minutes here for Halloween and if I was to tell you what I saw going you like the hard stuff there’s an open bar, but stay away from the top shelf! on,it would look like this: „There was one girl in a cage, playing e, pla and That means a couple, seven, ten martoonies will be no problem, but after 2am then he went and e, pla all over her front. Other people your gonna have to pay. But if ya arn’t lit by then, give up. weree, pla and laughing." You get the idea, the The Najponk jazz piano will be doing it up ol’ saloon style before the natives get Freedom of Information people would be all over me, so see for yourself. Tickets are restless and then the Funk band Peculiar plays. Deejays will take it from there 'til the 3,500Kã and you need to book quick, at the bar in Jáma. new Millennium. They request formal Costume Dress, or whatever passes for it these days. Tickets range from 4-6 grand with a variety of privileges, and all have re-entry For those of you who never leave Malostrana and are as happy as hell that the Metro’s rights if they wanna catch the action on the Square. gonna be closed (does it really take 9 months to resurface a metro station?), you’ll be finding the small quarters under the castle a little bit of Paradise, in a restaurant at the The Party to Beat all Parties will take place at another action-packed local end of the universe, U Zlateho Orla (Josefská 1, Praha 1, Malá Strana, Reservations tel/fax: in the center of the ol’ town; Staromû‰tská nám., where revolutions take place, 530 795). The Golden Eagle may seem like the incongruous little restaurant tucked away conquerors hold ceremonies, noble were beheaded and world-wars were fought. near the Charles Bridge, but it’s recently been injected with new life and spirit by Aussie The 2000 MINUTE PARTY will be staged at Legends, T˘n 1-Ungelt, right behind the big Dave. Located next door and downstairs from the Blue Light Jazz café, The Golden Eagle Disney looking church by the old clock. Frank’s really put together a kick-ass program, will bring a touch of civility to the madness surrounding you, in an elegant and peaceful taking you on a party program that takes you through two days and you won’t have environ, all warm lights and mystery, and really good food. to worry about food, drinks, entertainment or a cool place to be. Everything is included, except an ambulance! But you might not need one, because your entry ticket might Another nice tip for spending the night right, head on over to ALEXANDER’S win you a New Fiat Punto, or a trip for two to France, 2000 Air Miles, etc. (on Rybna 29, fax:2481 0825) and enjoy a 5 course meal prepared with such exquisite But if you look at the schedule, you’re not gonna want to leave. There’ll be classic attention to details you’ll not want to leave 'til way after midnight. Starting the menu Hollywood movies, a fashion show, non-stop club DJs. In-between all that there will off is Rabbit terrine, just to get the gastric juices working, and then Baked Honey be the usual Legend’s misbehavior; underwear and jean swaps, souvenir giveaways, Shrimp will put the taste buds on alert for what comes next; the Veal consommé. personalized champagne and live TV coverage. For those that want to migrate during The stars of the show however, and probably the hardest decision you’ll have to make the coarse of the celebrations, there’ll be a trip to Kutna Hora and the whole shebang all night is choosing between the Fillet of beef with gorgonzola red-wine sauce and will only cost you 2,000Kã! creamy chanterelles, or the roasted Monk Fish, perfectly seasoned with Garlic and Herbs and served with natural pilaf. Almond cake and a coffee will punctuate the meal Back on Vaclavak, in JÁMA, THE HALLOW (Jama, like in mama; V jámû 7, Prague 1, Cosmopolitan 02/2422 2383), the well seasoned debauchery, finely honed after years of Cocktail rigorous training, will be fully expressed, & it’s a lucky thing we’re not in the States ‘coz of all the codes being broke. I mean 50Kč the only place that’s gonna be wilder than Jáma probably doesn’t understand Half-Price the concept of time and won’t know Salads there’s a party going on! Jáma’s Y2K PARTY (for ladies starts you at the door with a bottle of only!) special Jáma Millennium Brut and a sumptuous, never-ending, late-nite buffet. In the wild, you must eat to survive, and the fittest of beast are beasts of prey. Those in attendance will have a choice of a large sirloin steak or a chicken breast dinner, cooked however you like Seasons ‘em. Your ticket is your wager in Super Greetings1 Millennium Drawings for expensive Ladies Night vintage wines, bottles of champagne, COCKTAIL LOUNGE opera tickets for you Falco fans and much Every Tuesday! Křemencova 17, Praha 1 more. Tel.: 02/24 91 60 47 By the time it comes to play spin the 37 MUSIC REVIEWS FROM THE CD MASTER

the fervor continues to unfold on his lesser-known tracks: dolphin sounds get murdered on the Quincy Jones-sampling ‘Rincing Quince’ and — just for fun, like — menace is piled on venom, threat and rancor on ‘Stalker’. Even the closing song, a palpably tacky cover of ‘Summer Breeze’, doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Next up from Aphrodite is an album proper. Somehow, chances of him collaborating with fancy orchestras or writing a grand opus about social disenfranchisement seem slight.

THE JON SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION Acme-Plus (Mute) Like being smashed repeatedly about the head with a drumstick, the Blues Explosion method is not subtle and after some time it starts to hurt. While most of the world is still recovering from last year’s belligerent Acme opus, Jon Spencer has seen fit to release a whole album of remixes and extra tracks from those prolific sessions. Frustratingly, Blues Explosion quality control is virtually non-existent, so rather than introducing hardcore fans to a whole new radically altered dimension of their ubiquitous blooze — as 1995’s more successful and adventurous ‘Bellbottoms’ remix EP achieved — Acme-Plus is simply more and more of the same gnarled riffage and hyper porch-front gospel preacher-man routine that’s characterized well every JSBE release ever since. When ‘big name’ producers are involved, proceedings become more distracting and Spencer is dragged, kicking and screaming, into something resembling the future. Moby’s production softens Spencer’s irascible howl on ‘Wait A Minute’, ironing it into a disco Stone’s pastiche. The Saints And Sinners Remix masterfully dilutes the traditional spray-on soul ‘madness’. Ten out of 19 isn’t a great strike- ARE YOU READY FOR rate, but then, that’s probably not the point. This is the blues after all and the THE BIG PLAYBACK? blues as Spencer always insists is a law unto itself. Frankly, I say, arrest this man. BUSH The Science Of Things (Interscope) TRICKY With DJ MUGGS and GREASE Juxtapose (Island) Friends, Romans, indie kids, lend me your ears. I come to praise Bush. A bit. Much has been made of Tricky’s roots in the Bristol, UK, trip-hop scene, but Not to bury them. Totally. ‘Cos some of this record rocks. It really does. Oh don’t hip-hop has also been at the core of his musical being. It’s no fluke that the worry, Bush fans, there’s enough wanky MTV-friendly corporate rock dross to rapper/producer covered Public Enemy’s „Black keep you happy but, for the benefit of the rest Steel In The Hour Of Chaos“ on his debut of us, Bush have gone a bit bog-eyed, spiky, Maxinquaye, and that he’s collaborated with alienated and paranoid-androidy and produced both the Gravediggaz and the Hillfiguzes. what is, in small parts, a brutal bastard of a On Juxtapose, his fifth full-length (counting record. The stuff on The Science Of Things his Nearly God project), Tricky teams up with that doesn’t suck is wonderfully sterile. blunted beat king DJ Muggs of Cypress Hill and Fantastically un-grungy. DMX producer Grease. While Tricky’s typically The best thing here - the crunching, howling surreal, aural landscapes and tripped-out beats ‘English Fire’ - sounds like Napalm Death giving characterize the album, Muggs and Grease Prolapse a piggyback through piranha-infested certainly make their voices heard as well. molten lava. It’s fucking awesome. No, really. Compared to Tricky’s previous work, the trio’s collaboration comes off fairly And it’s also, unfortunately, the last track on the album that doesn’t sound like straightforward, at least sonically. „For Real,“ Tricky’s most accessible track yet, the Bush we’ve come to know and be utterly bored by. Did their courage fail is characteristic of the haunting fever-dream pop that makes up the early them? Or were they visited by a hit man from some American record company: portion of the record. Towards the middle of the work, Street Dog’s bouncy „Hey, guys, the honchos up at HQ are kinda worried the new record’s not lame toasting gives creed to the steamy, digital funk of „I Like The Girls“ and „Hot enough to shift in the States. Could’ya, like, shit it up a little? After all, we got Like A Sauna“. The title is appropriate, as the songs provide a weirdly a brand identity to protect here, capiche?“ Next time, Gavin, make an entire hallucinatory juxtaposition to the music Tricky has concocted in the past. album you can be proud of. You know you can do it. Suffice it to say, Juxtapose will satisfy those willing to spend the time letting the darkly lit vibes seep in. NINE-INCH NAILS: The Fragile (Nothing/Interscope) APHRODITE Aphrodite (V2/Mute) It would be hard to overestimate the influence of 1994’s The Downward Spiral, Roastin’ tech-step? Fresh-cut darkcore? Rinsin’ the dubplates, then giving an epochal creation, both culturally and commercially. Yet for all the nihilistic them a quick wipe down with a dishcloth? Oh, don’t worry about it, because you needn’t give a damn, for drum’n’bass’ finer details all fall for the floor- J.A.R. homo fonkianz melting sound of Gavin ‘Aphrodite’ King. (Sony Music/Bonton) From student union piss-ups to underground Není mi jasné, o co tu jde a komu. Album je ovlivnûno mnoha rÛzn˘mi styly, clubs, when King’s savage blitz hits the decks, ale pfievaÏuje funky jazz. Hudební materiál není ani siln˘ ani pfiíli‰ nápadit˘, na you only need look at the reaction to learn reklamu pro Paegas tak akorát. Pfiiãítám jim k dobru, why it’s called jump-up. Made almost exclu- Ïe nepfiedstírají hloubku, jde tu spí‰e o zábavu. Jejich sively from hairy monster basslines, towering nejazyk je podivnou kombinací ãe‰tiny s angliãtinou, breakbeats and stuttering v-v-v-vocals, it’s asi jde o úmysl vypadat mezinárodnû. Po stylu idiot savant fare exemplified, imbued with a svûtov˘ch raperÛ prokládají své skladby mluven˘mi Fatboy Slim-sized grasp of how to unite one poznámkami, ve kousku s názvem „dokáÏe basová nation under a particularly foolish groove. kytara fender usmífiit národy?“, kter˘ sv˘m názvem So, bar a handful of interludes to catch your evokuje pfiedstavu volání po svûtoklidomíru, dává breath to, Aphrodite cannonballs through dokonce jeden hudebník druhém lekci, jak správnû the tunes which shot King to prominence. There’s ‘BM Funkster’, home of a pouÏívat nástroj. Ale v téhle skladbû nejsou Ïádné bassline which dislodges your fillings then figures it may as well have your rady potfieba. Vynikající kombinace basové kytary molars, too; ‘King Of The Beats’, the kind of stoopidly inflated frug-out which s naprosto neobvykl˘m pouÏitím cella velmi mile pfiekvapí. Album je plné most producers are way too sniffy to make. Then, of course, there’s ‘Woman dobr˘ch efektÛ a dobr˘ch detailÛ, ale celkov˘ dojem pro mne zÛstává That Rolls’. Aided by an LL Cool J sample, lightning-bolt synth stabs and, natu- neurãit˘m. -JF rally, a severely oversized bottom end, its King’s crowning glory. By and large, 38 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 HAVE YOU SELECTED YOUR END-TIME SOUNDTRACK? digi-rock spawn of Trent Reznor’s Nine-Inch Nails ever since, none has found the opening his mouth and singing, Butler’s talent is clear and unfogged once more. measure of that album’s resonant mix of rumination and aggression. At this For songs like the learning-to-love-again grandeur of ‘Cocoon’ or the annexed point, expectations are impossibly high for the long-gestating follow-up. But Abbey Road harmonies of ‘Let’s Go Away’, you would happily give this record a with The Fragile, Reznor hasn’t met the challenge so much as exploded it with a mortgage, a character reference, even the keys to your house when you go on grandly ambitious 23-song, two-disc set-one that manages to echo David holiday. Your heart and soul, though? Your time and desire? There might be Bowie’s ‘Station To Station,‘ classic Pink Floyd, and My Bloody Valentine within lyrical honesty, there might be guitar immensity, but there’s something just not a very personal aural universe. happening here. Friends And Lovers isn’t so much the sound of all passion spent, There are cracks in the code here: The acutely stated angst of Reznor’s lyrical as carefully invested in a savings account. Unfortunately, it’s low interest. voice has little of the manifold abstraction of his music, and a pile-driving item like ‘Starfuckers Inc.’ seems like filler compared with the sophistication of the title track or the symphonic instrumentals ‘Just Like You Imagined’ and ‘La Mer.’ At root, Reznor is a sensualist, a conjurer; the ghost in his machines sings a siren song of dark, decadent beauty, proffering les fleurs du mal in sound. Whether or not it replicates previous successes, The Fragile represents forward motion, a new couplet in Reznor’s poetry of noise.

BREAKBEAT ERA Ultra Obscene (1500 Records/A&M Records) Mutations in the genre of drum’n’bass are usually a long time coming. Because most emphasis is placed on either, the drums or the bass, innovations usually center around changes in the way those two elements are made (e.g. new equip- ment), or on locating an intriguing old sample from back in the day and crafting a fresh take on it. Roni Size did a lot to change that manner of progress with his award-winning Reprazent album, 1997’s New Forms, by bringing musicality to clubland through the soulfullness of lounge-inspired jazz elements. Working now with fellow Full Cycle artist DJ Die and warbler Leoni Laws, Size gives drum’n’bass another shot in the arm via the Breakbeat Era project. The debut album, Ultra Obscene, goes off more in the direction of hard-bop jazz, stressing tight tempos and punctuated syncopation in a tempest of improvisational emotion. It’s the stuff of early Miles Davis, a passion-first approach to getting what’s in your gut out into the crowd. The kingpin holding the act together is Laws’ vocal talent, honed in Kyoto and London jazz clubs before hooking up with Size and Die. In „Rancid,“ a taut bassline rips through the fabric of the tune, a hard-stepping romper that could easily overpower the best singers in the world. But not Laws. Her clipped vocal attacks match the ferocious bass with the tenacity of a bulldog tempered by the CHRISTINA AGUILERA Christina Aguilera (RCA) beguiling style of Nina Simone. It takes a lot of control to sing like this, but Laws The hype machine has begun in earnest around 18-year-old Christina Aguilera pulls it off like a pro. The end effect: expect another shift in drum’n’bass thanks with features in Time Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Vibe, and all of the to Breakbeat Era. While clearly radio-friendly, Ultra Obscene has the potential to requisite teen magazines. You could chalk it up to a good publicist, but as alter the way people approach the act of making dance music from now on. music critics worth their salt know: hype doesn’t amount to much. And for Aguilera, there’s no need for a skilled publicist - her amazingly mature voice is one of the finest pop-soul instruments to come along since the auspicious debuts of Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. When she moves into ballad territory the result is not always sterling, occasionally dipping into a pot of over-earnest pop. On the emotive „I Turn to You,“ Aguilera channels the early style of Houston through a rose-colored glass, helped along the way by Diane Warren-penned lyrics that spend a little too much time honoring the nameless, faceless „you“ of the title. Yet on „Reflection,“ the track recorded two years ago for Disney’s Mulan, Aguilera’s then 15-year-old voice is as strong as someone who’s twice her age and the song is just as memorable.

THERAPY? Suicide Pact - You First (Ark 21) History is a fickle mistress, but few have been cuckolded quite like Therapy?. In 1993, we were fleetingly prepared to believe they were the future of punk and metal rolled into one bite-sized snack pack. At their best, They sounded like techno played with guitars that ate people, plus tunes. So why, six years later, do they seem like a relic from a bygone age? Well, maybe they slept with the devil, and the devil, he took them away. The devil in this case being heavy metal, with which they always flirted, but used to encase in a shell of razor-sharp pop spikes. Now they appear to have embraced it unequivocally, un-ironically, and ungratefully. Now and again it works. ‘He’s Not That Kind Of Girl’ is a cartoon- ishly malevolent rocker, all BERNARD BUTLER Friends And Lovers quiet-loud explosions of angst, with Andy Cairns impersonating Tom Waits (Creation/Mute) (after he died) one minute, then Ian Astbury the next. Still, some kind of triumphant flickering of the vital signs might well be in The ‘Ten Year Plan’ is ‘Paranoid’-era Black Sabbath with Lemmy on vocals and order for Bernard Butler, once reviled by his former bandmates, filed away in all the better for it. Elsewhere, though, the would-be-shocking song titles, and many minds under ‘D’ for ‘denim’ and maybe ‘dull’, and now releasing his second the over-stylized Mummy-it’s-a-nasty-man voices reek of a band trying too hard album to follow the modest golden success of the first. He’s still better known to find a new identity. To paraphrase that album title - Therapy? sell... but who’s than the new Suede guitarist is. As victories go, it’s hardly on a Roman scale, yet buying this? now everyone’s got over the miracle of this quiet frown-and-fringe actually 39 NO MAN EVER YET BECAME GREAT BY IMITATION

Show You’, ‘Get On The Inside’ and ‘Put The Pieces Back Together’ barely raise more than a tapping toe in the dancefloor stakes. He fares marginally better on an elegant string-soaked smoocher like ‘Possibilities’, or the slinky soul of ‘Baby It’s Alright’, but still the cheesy sheen of ‘80s white funk suggests a man whose musical time had long since passed. And, if you’re expecting any lyrical insights, the title ‘She Flirts For England’ is as explicit as we get. Otherwise it’s all the usual ambiguous rhetoric. Even if he didn’t make that many great records, you still wish there were more ‘rock stars’ with a fraction of Michael Hutchence’s charisma emerging in the ‘90s.

NICK CAVE, MICK HARVEY & ED CLAY TON-JONES And The Ass Saw The Angel (Mute) Ambition is not always an admirable quality. When pop stars start branching out into other areas of the media, it’s rarely a cause for celebration. Many a once brilliant career has foundered on the rocks of the ill-advised vanity project. In this context, the publishing of Nick Cave’s debut novel, ‘And The Ass Saw The Angel’ in 1988 should have prefaced his artistic death. Amazingly it didn’t. Actually, if you could cope with his oppressive gothic tone throughout, it wasn’t even that bad a book. He should have left it at that, though, for with this belated companion piece - a collection of readings from the novel NO STOPPING THESE GUYS accompanied by the incidental music from the theatrical adaptation, originally released with PERRY FARRELL Rev (Warner Bros.) ‘Tender Prey’ in 1989 - Cave has gone too far. This is a collection of some of Perry’s greatest moments with the pioneering An adjunct Jane’s Addiction, the more self-indulgent Porno For Pyros and a taster of where from his previously flawless musical career, his solo stuff may be heading. Quite apart from providing us with an opportunity ‘And The Ass Saw The Angel’ is a truly point- to revisit some of the most genuinely thrilling music made in the last decade or less release. He is knowingly presenting us so, it also proves that, coursing through the veins of the entire body of this with something less than his best work, which is as grave an insult to his man’s work, is a search for the answer to the biggest question of all: what the patient supporters as you can get. fuck are we doing here? Perry’s progress - through the wanton hedonism of early Jane’s to the TRAVIS The Man Who (Independiente) erotic ritual of the band’s later work, through the wasted junkie years and the The Man Who is over-loaded with ballads. recovering sci-fi of Pornos - seems to be a journey towards the realization that Torch songs, slow blues, Gauloises-sucking there is something higher to be attained. Something religious. Right now, chansons, requiems, and every shade of its hard to be sure whether he is saying we can all be gods or that we should indigo. Which is all right if you’re Billie recognize the fact that there are gods and celebrate their existence. Rev also Holiday or Frank Sinatra. But if you’re a bunch features two new things from Perry - a drum’n’bass version of Led Zep’s of rock blokes from Glasgow, the result isn’t ‘Whole Lotta Love’ (good humor) and the album’s title track ‘Quite Good’, both necessarily tremendous. But Travis realizes of which suggest his next move will be towards dance. Which makes total sense their weakness, so this new record is ultimately when you think about it; Perry’s thing has always been about communion, a battle to find a voice that matters. Hence the through the use of now classic forms. turbulence on ‘Slide Show’, as Fran tries to bust open the clichés, to find popular success as well as exercising his art. ZEN GUERRILLA Trance States in Tongues (Sub Pop) And you’ll hear the same instinct on ‘Writing To Reach You’, as he muses This record does not compromise. The incendiary boogie of ‘Pins And Needles’ over a familiar shuffle beat, „the radio keeps playing all the usual/And what’s is propelled on a brutal guitar a’la Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top). ‘Slow Motion Rewind’ a wonderwall anyway?“ Recent single ‘Driftwood’ isn’t bad. ‘As You Are’ displays a shrieking riff and dives into a rock and roll worth of early Led trembles like John Lennon on The Beatles’ ‘Across The Universe’. There’s Zeppelin. Speed and craziness increase in ‘Mod Riot’, which brings back to another homage on ‘Why Does It Always Rain On Me’, which is akin to memory the Surgery’s demonic excesses. Ever Jeff Buckley, a bit luminous and special. But you can’t sing high and weird more restless and noisy, the Zen Guerrilla accel- nowadays without getting compared to Thom Yorke. And Travis has copped erate to ‘What I Got’ and ‘Heart Attack’, reckless plenty of that attention in the past, so they really should have installed their blues songs that shake the foundations of the Radiohead detectors at an early stage of recording. That might have filtered genre, and the sacrilege peaks with ‘Preacher’s out ‘The Fear’ and ‘The Luv’, which are terribly derivative. Promise’, an epileptic gospel for psycho- preacher. The voodoo blues ‘Magpie’ and a couple of relaxed ballads reduce the impact of another album, which would compliment the flip side of a Jon Spencer Tape. Îlut˘ pes: Himaláje (Sony Music/Bonton) MICHEAL HUTCHENCE Michael Hutchence (V2/Mute) Ondfiej Hejma se alespoÀ nesnaÏí pfiedstírat It must have been weird being Michael Hutchence. And not just because of mezin*rodnost a zÛst*v* ve své staré dobré whatever dark thoughts led him to string himself up in a Sydney hotel room. I matiãce, trochu zmatené z masy mean, he was a rock star trapped in the role of pfiistûhovalcÛ...prostû se tûm pár anglick˘m tabloid soap opera scapegoat because of who he frázím was going out with, a great frontman fronting v textech nevyhne. KdyÏ ono to uÏ k té Praze prostû patfií. V první skladbû jasn˘ an increasingly mediocre band, and a damn fine vliv rapu, v˘borná rytmika a pfiíjemná melodie. Dále podafien˘ rock’n ‘rollov˘ singer. dialog o nezávislosti se silnou elektrickou kytarou So its no great surprise that thigh-rubbing, v pozadí a trochu vleklá balada o jiném svûtû. StûÏejní skladba o doktorovi mû moc lip-gurning funk rock is the staple diet here, nedostala, tûch nemocí v hlavû je uÏ trochu moc. Nutno podotknout, Ïe Hejmovi as it was with INXS. But for all Hutchence’s well- nelze upfiít textafisk˘ talent, kter˘ jeho hospodské blues ãi bigbít pozvedává nad practiced breathing exercises, lusty bellowing ony v‰ední dny a zmafiené iluze, o kter˘ch zpívá. „Je to tûÏk˘ ‰lapat pû‰ky, kdyÏ ti and hunkish grunting, grooves like ‘Let Me Ïivot dává mat, zkus to aspoÀ jednou tuhle káru rozhejbat, aÏ si budou v‰ichni 40 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 YOU PICK YOUR POISON AND TAKE YOUR CHANCES

Whiskey Sour I like to make this classic cocktail with Irish whiskey. Mix TRI-ZONE a healthy measure of Irish whiskey with the juice of half a lemon, a teaspoon of sugar and half a lightly beaten Text: Efka Koláfiová egg-white. Serve on crushed ice. Alternatively, beat the egg Národní podnik Trizon Teplice je white until it is still and spoon it on top of the drink. ãtyfipatrová budova v centru Teplic v minulosti se zab˘vající v˘robou kovov˘ch souãástek a drobn˘ch Screwdriver mechanismÛ. Nyní je z vût‰í ãásti Mix a generous slug of vodka (preferably uzavfien. To bylo hlavním dÛvo - Stolichnaya or Smirnoff Black Label) with as much dem pro zorganizování továrního freshly squeezed orange juice as you like and serve on techno festivalu s pfiíznaãn˘m, ice. minimálnû dvojsmysln˘m názvem TRI-ZONE. Black Velvet Pofiádající teplická agentura Radical Pour equal amounts of chilled stout (Velvet in a can works Production si za tímto úãelem pronajala great, but some might prefer Guinness) and champagne simul- 2 patra tohoto komplexu o rozloze zhruba 3000 taneously into a glass. m2, aby zde navázala na 4-letou tradici vánoãních techno pafieb v Teplicích, které se konaly na stejnû originálních místech - 96- Singapore SLing kostel Sv. Bartolomûje, 97-Katakomby teplického pivovaru 20 let po jeho To about a quarter of a glass of gin add about an eight of a uzavfiení, 98-Ruina luxusního hotelu Thermia. glass of cherry brandy and the same amount of freshly squeezed TRI-ZONE je v‰ak oproti pfiede‰l˘m roãníkÛm ochuzen o silvestrovskou party, lemon juice. Add ice cubes and stir. For a long drink, top up with takÏe se stává klasick˘m festivalem ve dvou po sobû jdoucích dnech. Po oba soda water. vánoãní svátky, tedy 25. a 26. 12. se v Teplicích pfiedstaví více neÏ 20 djs na tfiech podiích. Hlavním lákadlem se stane pravdûpodobnû hlavní stage, kde první den vystoupí Little. m, legenda dráÏìanské scény a DOC.B, zásadní osoba Dry Martini nûmeckého labelu HardWax a jedna z hlav - Michael Jackson’s Bar And ních hvûzd loÀského festivalu Cosmic Trip. Cocktail Book has the Druhou scénu bude okupovat Josef SedloÀ, perfect recipe in his book: v‰estrann˘ dj, geniální promotér a moderá- SOUTĚŽ ‘One whisper dry vermouth, tor Radia 1 v holportu s Sidecarem, techno and one avalanche of djem, znám˘ pfiedev‰ím pravidelnou ãastí Magazín Think a magazín Hele London Dry gin’. na Overthere parties. Na tfietím podiu si jsou mediálním partnery této Keep the gin and the mÛÏete vychutnat sety praÏsk˘ch house slibné akce a tak jsme pro vás Martini in the fridge and matadorÛ - dj Ashe a Blue. Druh˘ den, pfiipavili vánoãní dárek v give the glass a blast in the 26. prosince do Teplic dorazí slovensk˘ podobû dvou vstupenek, pokud freezer. Finally had a twist techno god TOKY, kterému budou sekun- správnû odpovíte na soutûÏní of lemon zest. dovat Pietro, Nika 77 a Quickie. Druhá otázku a budete vylosováni. stage se stane oázou lomen˘ch beatÛ Otázky tedy zní: v podání oblíbené Babe LN a jungle girl 1. Co se dfiíve vyrábûlo Bloody Mary dj Katcha. Tfietí scéna bude pÛsobi‰tûm v Trizonu? Pour a measure of vodka djÛ Ghonzalese (dobfie známého z jeho a) kovové blbosti (for added lemon flavor, use pravidelného úãinkování v Punto Azul) a mechanismy COCKTAILS ARE Absolut Citron) into a glass a Snakeheada. Vstupné na oba dny je 250,- b) kondomy and add twice the amount Kã v pfiedprodeji (v síti HotDog nebo on- c) céãka FOREVER of chilled tomato juice, the line). Více informací neleznete na inetu na juice of half a lime, four adrese: http://www.radical-production.cz. 2) 25. 12. 99 do Teplic dashes of Worcestershire sauce, a dash of celery salt and a grind Trizon se nachází na rohu Spojenecké pfiijede dj. DOC.B, bude of black pepper. Finish with a dash of dry sherry. a Nákladní (vchod je z Mánesova námûstí), to jeho druhé vystoupení pro mimo teplické je nejsnadnûj‰í navigace v âR. Víte kde se objevil tato: Od hlavního vlakového nádraÏí Tep - poprvé? Absolut Bananas lice po Hrázní ul. smûr Praha/Duchcov, po a) na leto‰ním festivalu Mix equal portions of Absolut Vodka and fresh pineapple juice asi 200 metrech doprava a jste tam, pû‰ky Cosmic Trip in a short glass that have been kept in the freezer, and then add asi 3 minuty, pro automobilisty jsou pfii - b) ve Staré Huti two dashes of creme de banane liqueur. Enjoy! pravena ãetná parkovi‰tû. c) na loÀském Cosmic Tripu

N.O.H.A. Euro Connection presents on 17th December ‘99 in Akropolis Palace a band The Noise Of Human Art. (opening band: Skyline). Innovative project N.O.H.A. was found in 1993/94. Prague saxofonist and educated musician Philip Noha, and German Jochen Eickenberg from Kholn were, in the begining, influenced by jazz, classical music, trip hop, and drum’n’bass. Later on, the band got a new dimension thanks to invited singers: Sam Leight Brown from Manchester with his erotic voice, and relaxed New York rap singer Chevy Hardley. This four- members formation intends to play mainly in night clubs, liking the intimate atmosphere. Sometimes they also perform as a seven- member formation employeeing Erik Harings (drums), Jorg Harmers (bass), and Sascha Kuhn (keyboards). Don’t miss their preformance, their special dynamic and inimitable stage show, moving in style

41 WHY SHOULD THE DEVIL HAVE ALL THE GOOD TUNES? as you kind of lose the MOS DEF Black on Both Sides right to complain about Rawkus/Priority government if you don't Mos Def, one of the vote, you can't ever brightest and most cha - again complain about rismatic MCs to emerge the state of hip-hop in the past several years, MC'ing if you ain't is a product of an inde- heard the sublime pendent hip-hop move- Pharoahe Monch. ment that favors lyrical complexity over gat talk METHOD MAN and other gangsterisms. Blackout! (feat. Mos Def first gained notice on the remix to De La Redman) Def Jam Soul's classic "Stakes Is High"; since then he's Only a few hip-hop released several singles and, with Talib Kweli, a crit- cats can be hardcore in ically acclaimed album (Mos Def and Talib Kweli Are one breath and mad Blackstar). Black on Both Sides is Mos Def's solo funny the next. Rap debut, a soulful escapade into the mind of a multi- super heroes Method talented artist. "I don't want to write this down/ Man and Redman are both, I want to tell you how I feel right now," he says at WHO RULES THE CHARTS, BABY? as proved by their past one point. Rich and varied in scope and execution, partnerships on tracks he criticizes institutional racism ("Mr. Nigga," with PUFF DADDY Forever like "How High" and "Well All Rite Cha." former Tribe Called Quest leader Q-Tip contributing Bad Boy/Arista Blackout, the dynamic duo's first full-album vocals) and environmental racism ("New World Yes, the guy does an amazing job of creating hits. alliance, matches Meth's and Red's mike gymnastics Water"). Mos Def sings, scats, and rhymes in a But when it comes to his own mic talents, there's and star power with the sound vibrations of the RZA, relaxed, conversational manner, yet is able to hold not a whole lot there. As a follow-up to his seven- DJ Scratch and Erick Sermon. his own with the rambunctious Busta Rhymes times platinum disc No Way Out, Puffy has The result: a tight-as-a-drum album in an era of (on "Do It Now"). The production credits read like a attempted to move away from the dance-styled, half-assed efforts. "Da Rockwilder," a traditional roll call of New York's finest beat collators, with sample-heavy hits of that record and reconnect with MC boast boosted by space-game effects and the Diamond, Psycho Les from the Beatnuts, DJ Premier, the hardcore rap community. Forever is splattered rhyming duo's lyrical lasers, explodes off Blackout. and Ali Shaheed Muhammed contributing tracks, with cameo performances by everyone from Busta On the up-tempo, fist-pumping "Tear It Off," among others. Their collective work lends the album Rhymes and Lil' Kim to Redman, Twista, and even a Meth and Red appropriate an old X-Clan lyric a lush, jazzy tone, elegiac and danceable. With Black posthumous appearance from Biggie Smalls. and reconfigure it for the tical-ridden present. on Both Sides, Mos Def establishes himself as a force But it's those artists who carry the songs, and a "My lyric is a ball," Meth flexes on the Seventies- to be reckoned with. majority of the tracks don't even display their best funk-flavored "One Two, One Two." "Batter up, work. The album-closing first single, "P.E. 2000," an play ball/Fuck y'all analog niggas/We be digital." OL' DIRTY BASTARD N***a Please homage to Chuck D's "Public Enemy No. 1," gets And with that, it's lights out. (Elektra) your head-bobbing in rhythm with the electronic To say that Ol' Dirty's bee-buzz running behind the rhythm track, but even had a tough time of it there falls far short of the song it honors. Puff Amduscias, over the last two years Daddy's skills behind the mic remain unaffected by Zenflesh records is an understatement. his Midas touch when it comes to writing and Being from Southern California, Amduscias is a Outrageous multiple police producing hits for other artists, but maybe you need compilation that hits close to home. Until hearing 'busts', weekly court the 30 pictures of him in the booklet. this release, I thought my collection included some dates for 'terrorist threats' of the most diverse unknown and underground elec- and now an enforced PHAROAHE MONCH Internal Affairs (Rawkus) tronic artists. I was wrong. Amduscias wins that stay in rehab for pos - The key line of Pharoahe Monch's stunning solo bragging right by a session of crack would debut, Internal Affairs, isn't some masterly string landslide. Of the twenty- finish off many lesser souls. So the fact that he's of words filled with rhymes like "New York City one artists present the made this year's most brilliant, entertaining, catchy, gritty committee pity the fool that/Act shitty in the most interesting is funky rap record is amazing, isn't it? Well no, midst of the calm, the San Diego’s cooly because Ol' Dirty, aka Big Baby Jesus, aka Osirus, witty" (from "Simon named Mike Czech, aka Russell Jones, the father of 13 children, seems to Says"). The key line is whose other works I’ve be thriving on the madness. "None of y'all niggas this: "You sold plat- found in MP3s from can fuck with me/All y'all niggas loving me/ inum round the world/ The Roundtable MCs on Mr. courageous ODB/You need to recognize he's a I sold wood in the the net. Third rail step- P-I-M-P", is his opening salvo on this, his second hood/ But when I'm in pers are another excel- solo effort. Hardly the words of a broken man, are the street and shit/It's lent group and the other 16 or so artists are sure to they? The freshest-sounding Wu-Tang release for all good." ‘Wood’ is pleasure. These artists cross all boundaries, with a ages, 'N***a Please' is at turns hilarious, filthy and industry slang for sell- primary focus on the eclectic, strange and downright inspirational. Whether he's sampling the theme from ing next to nothing; no one brags about going bizarre. White noise, percussion, ethnic instrumenta- TJ Hooker on 'I Can't Wait', covering Rick James' wood, but you'd be smiling if your pockets tion, drum machines, cellos, reel to reel tapes, 'Cold Blooded' or the jazz standard 'Good Morning were overflowing with Pharoahe Monch's respect: sampled voice, and guitar all play some roll in the Heartache', Ol' Dirty's running at full steam, grunt- This Queens-bred word-sound scientist, late of the construction of music on this compilation. Mere ing, yelling, singing, laughing and not giving a duo Organized Konfusion, is widely considered one words cannot adequately describe the vibrant differ- flying fuck for the consequences. To hear him roar- of the best, if not the very best, MC working today. ences between tracks. The only way to properly ing: "Sing it!/Sing it girls!/Just sing it RIGHT NOW!" Get your rewind button ready for Internal Affairs, experience this experimental masterpiece is to own a on the hard-as-nails funk anthem 'Got Your Money' which will make you bounce hard to Monch's high- copy yourself and admire the fidelity on a pair of is to hear the raw, unrestrained SOUL POWER of this energy, sinister-sounding war-gong beats, or make expensive headphones. But as we’re still in the man in full effect. It's awesome. Critics dismiss you sit quietly, trying to digest his rapid-fire flow as EastBlok, you’ll have to do it through the post, as it’s Ol' Dirty as a sexist, idiotic clown, but when he's it sails through philosophical narratives, crazy the only way to get this fine album. To do that, rapping: "Radios play this all day every day/ metaphors, sex stories and some of the best rhymes contact: Zenflesh Records, P.O. Box 252065, Los Recognize I'm a fool and you love me", you know you've ever heard. He has got some guests (Busta Angeles, CA 90025 or email them: who's having the last laugh. And it sure isn't the Rhymes, Common, others), but you don't watch a E-mail: [email protected] cops, the courts, or the "bitch-ass niggas and bitch- Marlon Brando film to see the other actors. And just ass nigga-ettes". Ol' Dirty's a true original. 42 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 THE OTHER LINE MOVES FASTER

• Nejlep‰í tabáková vodní d˘mka, kterou lze zakoupit • Vyfoukaná z vysoce odolného Ïáruvzdorného skla ·est˘ smysl (The Sixth Sense) ™ USA, 1999, Holywood Pictures. Scénáfi a reÏie: M. Night Shyamalan. Hrají: Bruce Willis, Haley SIMAX Joel Osment, Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Donnie Wahlberg (105 min) • Vyrobená Ve svém tfietím pokusu ‰lápnul tenhle scénárista-reÏisér pûknû vedle. Není to ani dobfie v âeské Republice napsáno ani dobfie zahráno ani dobfie reÏírováno. Psycholog Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) právû obdrÏel cenu za mimofiádné zásluhy v práci s dûtmi a triumfálnû slaví. Ale co ho ãeká doma v koupelnû? „Ví‰, proã se bojí‰, kdyÏ jsi sám?“ a pûknej prÛ‰vih. Doktor se ani do pfií‰tího podzimu psychicky nevzpamatuje. Ba co více, nûco se vklíní mezi nûho a manÏelku. Dfiíve milující se pár spolu sotva mluví a on ji podezírá z nevûry. Asi chce vytûsnit problémy a zamûfií se na dal‰í dítko. Jestli se stanou bûhem filmu nûjaké zajímavé vûci, stanou se aÏ bûhem poslední pÛlhodiny, vãetnû chytrého zvratu na úplném konci. Nane‰tûstí, aby se ãlovûk dostal k tomuto bodu, musí pûtasedmdesát minut pouÏívat ve‰keré moÏné prostfiedky proti usínání v kinû. Mimochodem, jeden kritik neuspûl a na pfiedvádûãce nahlas chrápal. Ve filmu není ani stopa po dÛvtipu. Dialogy jsou nabubfielé, postavy fiíkají a dûlají K dostání nyní vûci zjevnû jenom proto, Ïe to je tak napsáno ve scénáfii. S vyjímkou dûtsk˘ch rolí nepfie- v obchodû sahuje Ïádná postava di menze “Na Konci Duhy”, listu papíru. Chybí ná vaznost i “No Madness” logika. MoÏná lze najít nûjaká a na dal‰ích pozitiva, ale opravdové kvality vybran˘ch místech. jsou pohfibené velmi hluboko. Bruce Willis si samozfiejmû ® prostfiednictvím ·estého smyslu Iron Curtain Laboratories s.r.o. zkou‰í roz‰ífiit obzor. Ale nefun- guje mu to. Trochu Ïivota ukáÏe jenom v první scénû. âástí jeho neuspûchu je nepochybnû ‰pat - nû napsaná postava, ale kom - pletuje ho nedostatek Willisovy energie. Bezpochyby se v‰ak najdou tací, kter˘m se ·est˘ smysl bude líbit. Jednodu‰e pro jeho spirituální úhel pohledu, kter˘ zkou‰í naznaãit, Ïe existuje nûco mezi tímto svûtem a tím dal‰ím. Dne‰ní spoleãnost je nepopíratelnû fascinována v‰emi superpfiírodními a pseudo- Vítûzné nám. 10, Praha 6, tel: 312 4096 náboÏensk˘mi záleÏitostmi. Jak jinak vysvûtlit úspûch v‰ech tûch andûlÛ kolem? Nûkteré z filmÛ tohoto druhu v‰ak mají alespoÀ nûjakou pfiedstavivost. Tenhle ne. ·est˘ smysl je www.videotogo.cz po Miluj bliÏního svého dal‰ím dÛkazem, Ïe silné nebo chytré rozuzlení nestaãí na záchranu v‰eho ostatního. NOW OPENED! The Sixth Sense NEW „MUSEUM“ LOCATION Written and Directed by M. Night Shymalan, Starring Bruce Willis Toni Collette, Olivia Williams, Trevor Morgan, Donnie Wahlberg and Haley Joel Osment (don’t forget our original English language Video and DVD rental store!) „I see dead people,“ says eight-year-old Cole Sear (Osment) to his therapist, the renowned FREE LIFETIME MEMBERSHIPS (offer valid until Jan. 1, 2000) child psychologist, Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Willis). And he really does, in fact, he’s the only one who can see them. His mother (Collette) certainly can’t explain why a cherished necklace AUTOMATIC LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP FOR CURRENT MEMBERS! given to her by her late mother ends up in one of Cole’s dresser drawers on a regular basis, NEW REDUCED PRICES (video rental starting at 100Kã) unless he’s given to bouts of theft. He’s an outcast at school, among both students and staff, despite his obvious intelligence; he has to pay someone to walk with him to school so MIDWEEK SPECIALS that his mother will believe otherwise. OPEN EVERY DAY 10-10 And yet Cole, for all of his internal torments and exterior tormentors, has not been searching for assistance. It is Dr. Crowe who has decided to seek out Cole, not only because • Over 4,000 NEW! âelakovského sady 12 he believes he can help him, but also because the good doctor needs to believe that he can. videos in stock! Less than a year earlier, Dr. Crowe, flush with praise from an awards ceremony, confronted Praha 2, tel: 2423 5098 an armed intruder in his home. The intruder turned out to be none other than one of his • VCR rental just former patients, Vincent Gray (a completely unrecognizable Donnie Wahlberg) who had 150Kã a day! fallen through the doctor’s busy schedule, and fallen apart as a result. The doctor was the • TV/VCR rental just recipient of the distraught young man’s wrath and retribution. Struggling with the nagging 250Kã a day! impression that he just might be a fraud, Crowe is desperate to help Cole. If only the boy would quit making up stories about seeing dead people and just accept the doctor’s diag- • Most current releases! nosis of paranoid schizophrenia like a good patient, everything would work out just swim- • Snacks, drinks and mingly. Of course, circumstances are inalterable unless Crowe can be brought around to an newspapers! understanding of Cole’s unwanted gifts of perception, because Cole needs the doctor’s help 43 THERE'S SO MUCH COMEDY ON TELEVISION. DOES THAT CAUSE COMEDY IN THE STREETS?

King Enterprises v Kaspickém a henchman with a bullet lodged in his brain that prevents mofii. Po Elektfie jde Turecko, him from feeling physical pain. It is reportedly revealed that Rusko a Irán. James Bond stojí the villainess may have had some part in the bombing that Videos@JamaVideos@Jama pfii ní jako ochránce, neboÈ cítí killed her father. As the movie moves towards its climax, vinu za své spojení s pfiíãinou Bond enlists the help of Dr. Christmas Jones, a sexy nuclear smrti jejího otce. 007 ji pro - weapons expert who attempts to defuse the weapons of kazatelnû zachrání pfied vrahy mass destruction set off by Renard. bûhem vzru‰ující lyÏafiské Will 007’s next movie adventure out-do the lackluster sekvence. Elektra má v‰ak jiné Tomorrow Never Dies? Is the Bond movie franchise on the Coming to Jama in December plány. Nakonec se s Bondem slide? Is the strong cast assembled for The World Is Not znovu stfietne na ãeãenské Enough a sign that this film has something special going Free Membership! nukleární základnû, sebou má for it? These questions cannot be answered at this time, but 2 day rentals 100-125Kc lokaje Renarda, kter˘ má it has been revealed that Bruce Feirstein changed the www.praguepivo.com v hlavû zabudovanou kulku (previously) very cool pre-titles sequence. Who knows what a nemÛÏe tak cítit fyzickou else has been written out and what affect (positive or EveryEvery 11th11th videovideo free!free! bolest. Je prokazáno, Ïe v bom - negative) that will have on the quality of the final picture? bardování, které zpÛsobilo Only heavy promotion (over 100 hours) on the worldwide smrt jejího otce, nûco smrdí. MTV network and a title song by Garbage will help Bond Jak se film blíÏí ke svému appeal to earth’s newest generations. to fulfill the mission for which he has unknowingly and vrcholu, Bond získává podporu Dr. Christmase Jonese, sexy An interesting side note: John Cleese (Monty Python’s unwittingly been selected. odborníka na nukleární zbranû, kter˘ se snaÏí zne‰kodnit Flying Circus), who plays Q’s assistant in the upcoming On the face of it, director/screenwriter Shymalan’s recent zbranû hromadného niãení odpálené Renardem. The World is Not Enough, looks to have made a long term film (following his feature debut, Wide Awake) appears to Pfiekoná pfií‰tí dobrodruÏství agenta 007 propadák Zítfikek commitment to the Bond franchise. According to the be a refreshing 180-degree shift away from the usual nikdy neumírá? Je silné herecké obsazení v Jeden svût Hollywood Reporter, Cleese has signed for three more Bond mystery/horror offerings of mayhem and gore, and that nestaãí potvrzením, Ïe tento film má v sobû nûco speciál- films playing the same role. It should also be noted that would be a fair assessment of it. Or, rather, I should say that ního? Na tyto otázky teì není moÏné odpovûdût, ale bylo Cleese is not replacing the 85-year-old Desmond Llewelyn that’s the impression you get in retrospect. While you’re odhaleno, Ïe Bruce Feirstein zmûnil velmi skvûlé vûty who told the trade that his stay on the series is „up to the actually in the theatrical grip of The Sixth Sense, the feel- ve scénáfii. Kdo ví, co dal‰ího bylo vy‰krtáno a jak˘ vliv Almighty.“ Cleese’s character has an official name, R. ings experienced therein are far less ambiguous. The film (pozitivní ãi negativní) to mûlo na v˘sledn˘ snímek. isn’t necessarily too terrifying, but while Shymalan is toying Pouze mohutná propagace (více neÏ 100 hodin) na celosvû- with your expectations like a confidence trickster, not will- tové síti MTV a úvodní skladba od Garbage mÛÏe Bondovce ing to give the game away until the last few frames, a sense pomoci oslovit nejnovûj‰í generace na celém svûtû. of frustration tends to set in, as you get only what the Zajímavá poznámka: John Cleese (Monty PythonÛv director is willing to give you at the time. It’s a cinematic létající cirkus), kter˘ hraje Quova asistenta v pfiicházejícím strip-tease, and one that, at times, seems almost too clever snímku Jeden svût nestaãí, se snaÏí o uzavfiení dlouhodobé by half for its own good. Only after the payoff, and after smlouvy na spolupráci v Bondovkách. Hollywoodsk˘ your mind races over the cinematic landscape just exposed Reporter tvrdí, Ïe Cleese podepsal smlouvu na stejnou roli to your purview, searching in vain for continuity errors, do pro tfii dal‰í Bondovky. Také dluÏno poznamenat, Ïe Cleese you sense how very deftly Shymalan’s deception has played nenahrazuje 85letého Desmonda Llewelyna, kter˘ prohlásil, on your expectations. To sustain this parlor trick over one Ïe délka jeho úãasti na Bondovkách je ve hvûzdách. sequence is admirable; to maintain it for 106 minutes is Cleesova postava má oficiální jméno: R. quite incredible by contemporary standards. The director is asking his audience not only to meet him half way, but to do its share of the work, and there will be some who are not willing to do so. Záhada Blair Witch A shame, really, because The Sixth Sense gives back (Blair Witch) considerably more than what it takes, but it does so in one USA. ReÏie: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez. Mûsteãko post-filmic swoop rather than by degrees. It’s a story about Blair se nacházelo na severu Marylandu, dvû hodiny od more than a boy who sees dead people; it speaks to the Washingtonu, D.C. fundamental fear in all of us: that we might die, our last V roce 1875 nûkolik dûtí obvinilo Elly Kedwardovou wishes unknown to those still alive, with no one knowing z toho, Ïe je vlákala k sobû domÛ, kde jim pustila Ïilou. what really happened, with no comfort, and with injustices Kedwardová je odsouzena jako ãarodûjnice, za tuhé zimy je against us left unpunished. Under the circumstances, vyhnána z mûsta a pravdûpodobnû umírá. V prÛbûhu zimy Shymalan has turned contemporary Philadelphia and this zmizí z mûsta polovina dûtí vãetnû tûch, které obvinily quasi-surrealistic tale of phantoms into a metaphor for the Kedwardovou. Obyvatelé se obávají prokletí, opustí mûsto a deepest human despair, with none of the pretentious pfiísahají, Ïe uÏ nikdy nevysloví jméno Elly Kedwardové. portent that a less skillful filmmaker might have drawn Vychází Kult ãarodûjnice z Blair. Tato vzácná kniha, vût‰inou upon to prematurely engender suspense in the audience. The World Is Not Enough povaÏovaná za fikci, vypráví o tom, jak vyhnaná ãarodûjka Replete with confidence, the director lets the film speak for Directed by Michael Apted, starring Pierce Brosnan, Sophie proklela celé mûsto. Pozdûji je na místû, kde stávalo Blair itself, since its voice is resounding. The Sixth Sense is a Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards, Robbie Coltrane, Dame zaloÏeno mûsto Burkittsville. Za nûjak˘ ãas jedenáct svûdkÛ bonbon of a mystery film for narrative connoisseurs to Judi Dench, Desmond Llewelyn, John Cleese, Samantha Bond vypovídá, Ïe vidûli bledou Ïenskou ruku, která stáhla savor, with many deeper issues wrapped inside. They After the oil tycoon Sir Robert King is killed in a bombing desetiletou Eileen Treacleovou do Tappyho potoka. Její tûlo should, however, be prepared to receive their pleasures at the MI6 headquarters, his calculating daughter Elektra není nikdy nalezeno a po tfiináct dní po incidentu je potok after the fact, and to earn them through the exercising of inherits his fortune - and the majority of the rights to six pln˘ mastn˘ch svazkÛ vûtviãek. Dal‰í zaznamenanou considerable patience. Their efforts will be rewarded. trillion dollars worth of oil deposits King Enterprises událostí je pátrání po zmizelém osmiletém Robinu recently discovered in the Caspian Sea. As Turkey, Russia Weaverovi. Weaver se sice vrátí, ale zmizí jedna pátrací Jeden svût nestaãí and Iran each try to woo Elektra into their camp (thus skupina. Tûla jejích ãlenÛ jsou nalezena o t˘den pozdûji u (The World Is Not Enough) bringing GoldenEye player Valentin Zukovsky and his Rakvového kamene, svázána k sobû nohama a rukama a s USA. ReÏie: Michael Apted. Hrají: Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Russian Mafia connections into the story), James Bond vyvrhnut˘mi vnitfinostmi. Z oblasti okolo Burkittsville Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards, Robbie Coltrane, Dame joins her side as a bodyguard, feeling guilt over a link to the zakrátko zmizelo celkem sedm dûtí. Star˘ mnich jménem Judi Dench, Desmond Llewelyn, John Cleese, Samantha Bond. cause of her father’s death. Although 007 reportedly saves Rustin Parr pfii‰el na zdej‰í trÏi‰tû a fiekl pfiítomn˘m lidem, Obchodní magnát sir Robert King je zabit pfii bombar- her from assassins during an exciting ski-sequence, Elektra Ïe „nyní je dokonáno“. Policie nûkolik hodin hledá jeho dÛm dování ústfiedí M16 a vypoãítavá dcera Elektra zdûdí celé has other plans. na lesní samotû a pak v jeho sklepû nachází tûla sedmi jeho jmûní i vût‰inová práva na ‰est biliónÛ dolarÛ, coÏ je Elektra eventually double-crosses Bond in where else? zmizel˘ch dûtí. V‰echny dûti byly rituálnû zavraÏdûny a odpovídající hodnota nedávno objevené ropné základny A Chechnyan nuclear facility with help from Renard, jejich vnitfinosti vyvrhnuty. Parr se ke v‰emu detailnû 44 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 HISTORY TENDS TO EXAGGERATE pfiiznává a tvrdí, Ïe v‰e dûlal pro „ducha staré Ïeny“, kter˘ bydlí v lese poblíÏ jeho domu. Parr je urychlenû odsouzen a obû‰en. V roce 1994 pfiijíÏdûjí do Burkittsville vysoko‰kol‰tí studenti The First & Only Heather Donahueová, Joshua Leonard a Michael Williams a v rámci ‰kolního projektu se COFFEE SHOP in Prague! vyptávají zdej‰ích starousedlíkÛ na ãarodûjnici. Heather natáãí interview s Mary Brownovou, Memories of Africa starou psychicky naru‰enou Ïenou, která zde Ïije od narození. Mary tvrdí, Ïe vidûla kdysi Fresh coffee, roasted ãarodûjku u Tappyho potoka v podobû srstnatého kfiíÏence ãlovûka a zvífiete. Heather také natáãí rozhovor s dvûma rybáfii, ktefií filmafie informují, Ïe Rakvov˘ kámen je necel˘ch every 10 days! dvacet minut od mûsta a dá se k nûmu snadno dojít po staré dfievafiské pû‰inû. Filmafii se Available in whole beans or brzy poté vydávají do lesa a uÏ je nikdy nikdo nespatfií. TakÏe asi tolik na úvod. Na zbytek se ground Wholesale & Delivery! jdûte kouknout sami. Vypukne to 16. prosince./jf Visit our New Coffee House at T˘n Courtyard, Praha 1, The Blair Witch Project Just a two-minute walk from the Old Town Square! USA. Directed by: Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez. The fictional city of Blair is said to exist in Rybná/Jakubská, Praha 1, 110 00 southern Maryland, 2 hours from Washington, D.C. I can absolutely guarantee you that at this very moment, there are at least ten pitches tel: 0603a434 fax: 2057 0450 being hurled at Hollywood execs that start out: „Okay, it's a mock documentary. There's email: [email protected] these kids, see...“ Half a dozen of these pitches will be purchased, script unseen, and rushed http://www.ebelcoffee.cz into production for release next summer, and all of the finished films will suck. Big time. For the glut of Summer 2000 bombs, we can blame Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez for being creative and inventive enough to knock Hollywood on its ass this summer with The Blair Witch Project, any deficiencies in which are more than amply made up for by its daring. Myrick and Sánchez are credited with „writing and directing“ Blair Witch, but here is the The Best Czech Films for mostly improvised script in a nutshell: „We're NOT lost. I know EXACTLY where we are.“ foreigners to watch while „Oh, shit! Oh, SHIT!“ „What the hell is that? What the HELL is that?“ „Josh! Josh! JOSH!“ spending cold winter days „Oh my God! OH MY GOD!“ „Mike! Mike! MIKE!“ at home with the VCR. The direction consists of the film's three young stars - Heather Donahue, Michael Williams, and Joshua Leonard, all of them fabulous - goofing around with a camcorder and a 16mm camera. The Alchemist of the Surreal, Jan Svankmejer What Myrick and Sánchez should be credited for is inventing a backstory for their movie Five works of the master Czech animator, showing his use of a wide assort- that is at once frightening enough to be so intriguing and banal enough to be so believable ment of techniques and crafts. Dimensions of dialogue (1982, 12 min) - The that many moviegoers are apparently convinced that every scrap of it is true. last trick (1964, 12 min) - Punch and Judy (1966, 8 min) - Et cetera (1966, No, there is no legend of the Blair witch reaching back to colonial times. Seven kids were 8 min) - Jabberwocky (1971, 14 min). Text in not mysteriously murdered in the 1970s. Three young filmmakers did not go into the English and Czech; some Czech text has English Maryland woods in October 1994 to shoot a documentary on the Blair witch, they did not subtitles. disappear, and their footage was not found a year later. The small town of Burkittsville - which does exist - was not formerly called Blair, and the nice, real people of Burkittsville are Faust getting awfully tired of all the Goth Blairies (or whatever Blair Witch fans are calling them- An Everyman lured off the streets of Prague finds selves) hanging around and stomping through their woods. himself becoming Faust and entering a world of Myrick and Sánchez made it all up. But the casual movie fan must be forgiven for being mind- bog gling magic and strange encounters. He suckered in, because the creators have done their damnedest to make it all look real, from summons up Mephisto, makes his awful pact and naming their characters after the actors to plastering MISSING posters with the faces of is plunged into a world of laughing devils, dreams Heather, Mike, and Josh across many cities. Myrick and Sánchez must also be credited with and nightmares. Written and directed by making the drawbacks of ultralow-budget filmmaking (they spent a paltry $25,000 on this influential animator Jan Svankmejer; live action is movie, which makes it sound like Dr. Evil was their producer) work for them instead of merged with stop-motion and claymation anima- against them: The cheapie video and film stock only help in fostering the illusion of reality, tion Originally filmed in Czech. and The Blair Witch Project works not because of what's on the screen - no gore, no expen- sive special effects - but what isn't. Jan Svankmejer: the animator of Prague Ultimately, it's all in service of a good story (Note to Hollywood: Story. Story! STORY!). The Czech master animator, Jan Svankmajer, is filmed at work on his film Heather, the director of the putative documentary, leads Mike, the sound guy, and Josh, Death of Stalinism in Bohemia, while the ideas and motivations that 16mm cameraman, into the Maryland woods in search of background on the Blair witch have driven his earlier films, scenes from which are legend. Heather's camcorder documents the cheerful beginning to their adventure, as they included here, shop for juice and marshmallows for their weekend camping trip. They talk to locals in are explored. Death of Stalinism in Bohemia is Burkittsville, who tell of the legends of the witch and the haunted woods. When they even- included in its entirety. tually hike in those supposedly haunted woods, Heather just wants to read some spooky stories into the camera and get some shots of a mysterious cemetery before they head out Oratorio for Prague again. But she accidentally leads them astray as they search for the cemetery, and they get Begun as a relaxed documentary about the liber- lost. Initially skeptical about the actual existence of a witch or indeed anything scary in the alization of Czechoslovakia, this Jan Nemec woods, they all start to change their minds when weird things begin to happen and some- production became the only filmed record of the thing terrifying begins to stalk them. Soviet invasion of 1968. It’s an excellent contrast, What makes The Blair Witch Project so creepily effective is that Myrick and Sánchez provideing before and after invasion footage, and know that we'll all still react to the stuff that scared the bejesus out of us as kids - the features scene from the last night at a disco before dark, noises in the night, shadows flitting by out of the corners of our eyes. We scared the Soviet invasion. ourselves silly with stories about that patch of woods behind the spooky empty house down the street that we just knew was haunted, and Blair Witch sends you right back into Krava that 10-year-old state of mind. (Well, most of us will react this way. Some folks just plain Adam is a young farmer. As a child, fleeing a bleak reality of his mother’s hate this film.) life as a prostitute, he tumbles from a mountain and is mentally injured. If you liked being scared like that as a kid, you'll get a big kick out of The Blair Witch Years later, his mother is dying, and he sells their only cow to pay for medi- Project. Fair warning: the final image will haunt you for days after you leave the theater. cine. Rosa, fleeing the sexual exploitation of a wealthy butcher, climbs to the I'm still shivering. top of the mountain and begins living with Adam. In Czech with English

45 JOE BODIA’S COOL WEB INFO... packages our way. If you get the time, go to www.techno.cz/soutez to check out the next Marlboro RoofTop Party; a Freedom of Choice Party that Echelonwatch agency WAX is producing on 16/12/99 at the Roxy. http://www.aclu.org/echelonwatch/index.html You can choose the DJs which you want to see Administered by the American Civil Liberties spinning the turntables, including some of club- Union in conjunction with the Free Congress world’s best imports from the west like My Foundation, the Electronic Privacy Information vote, Mark Farina, or Jason Jinx, but you can Center, Cyber-Rights and Cyber-Liberties (UK) also vote for local faves like Chris Sadler and and the Omega Loutka. A uniques idea indeed, and everybody Foundation. CAFE.COM wins while expressing their Freedom of Choice. 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Echelonwatch internet 40 Kã/hod. • Hours/Hodiny: version of their website, which serves up cultural, tourist, travel Highlights and news from around the world include reports that Po-Pá 8.00-24.00, So-Ne 11.00-24.00 and lifestyle info on five cities in the neighborhood; Berlin, Prague, the Australian government has admitted to the existence of ECHE- Budapest, Krakow and Vienna in German, English and the local LON, some reports suggest ECHELON can seek out telephone calls NAJÁDA languages. Their goal is to bring a new level of service on the on a particular subject using speech pattern recognition software. Address: KfiiÏíkova 115, Praha 8 Internet in providing quality information about these cities, infor- Also, the U.S. House Government Reform and Oversight e-mail: [email protected] mation that can be used by both natives and those outside looking Committee will soon hold hearings on Echelon, in response to the Prices/Ceny: 80 Kã/hod, 100 Kã/hod/2 os. • Hours/Hodiny: in. This site delivers, although if like me you surf from a American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) letter calling upon members Po-So 14.00-22.00 PowerBook, the graphic intensiveness means long downloading of Congress to conduct further inquiries into the workings of this times, I assure you the wait is worth it. They have media partner- global surveillance system. NETWAVE ships with several local publications, including THINK, so if some- To read this letter and more, including responses from Senator Bob Address: Na Boji‰ti 8, Praha 2 one swipes your last issue and you need to look something up... Barr, go to this web site. e-mail:kavá[email protected] this is where to go. Prices/Ceny: 80 Kã/lichá hod, A visit to their new office, (which will also be the new Globe ue to the mysterious failure of publishing houses both major 40 Kã/sudá hod Hours/ Bookstore, soon), shows a lot of old and new faces fighting for and minor to recognize my talents, I’ve had to resort to the Hodiny: Po-Pá 11.00-23.00, deskspace, marketshare and the betterment of humanity in Dweb in an effort to deliver my special brand of high-octane So 15.00-23.00 the same spirit the expat community had in philosophical smut to the masses. Readers should be prepared to PLANETA the olden days face whoring, fights with Ukrainian gangsters, and general Adresa: Vinohradská 102, Praha 3 paranoid lunacy alternating with longish rants inspired by thinkers e-mail:[email protected] from Nietzsche to Roald Dahl to John Rawls to Alister Crowley. Prices/Ceny: 1,50 Kã - 1,25 Kã/1 min My writing is mostly about Prague & the people who have chosen it • Hours/Hodiny: 8.00-22.30 when as their home, and I believe readers of THINK will recognize a lot of Prague was new. the tensions and contradictions of their own lives within its pages. POPSHOP pages.prodigy.net/colin_shea/index.html Address: ·tefánikova 46, Praha 5 www.dogdoo.com pages.prodigy.net/colin_shea/allthehheavens.html e-mail: [email protected] Revenge is so sweet. Especially when harmless and yet so Web site contents: one novel of about 300 pages (And All the Prices/Ceny: 80 Kã/hod satisfying... Go to this website, and you’ll find a company that’ll Heavens Are Full of Joy, from which The Cottage in this issue is a Hours/Hodiny: Po-Pá 9.00-22.00, do your dirty work for you. All you have to do is provide the chapter). Three stories: Immortality, a first person account of the So-Ne 12.00-17.00 address and the payment. 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You can even pher, who many of you have INTERNET CAFÉ choose the text appearing on the probably seen in the front row of U ZLATÉ RUÎE card that accompanies your package! Your long awaited revenge many concerts, if you’re the type who goes out. The reason he’s Adresa: Thunovská 21, Praha 1 may manifest itself in three convenient sizes, and prices range there is because he’s a hunter, a stalker of the wiley rock’n’roll e-mail:[email protected] from the $13 Econo-Poop to the $25.00 PooPoo Grande from a image. Either that, or like me, he knows a camera in hand at the Prices/Ceny: 2 Kã/min 110 Pound Dog. Their largest poop, often topping an amazing 2 door sometimes beats cash. Hours/Hodiny: 10.00-19.00 pounds of fecal material! Please don’t be sending any steaming But unlike me, his work appears in almost every magazine in

46 THINK MAGAZÍN 11/1999 IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO SUCCEED. OTHERS MUST FAIL town, from Esquire to Trip to Rock & Pop, Mlady Svût to 14, and quite often in the pages of THINK Magazine, as he’s a regular contributor. But now, if you don’t wanna make a trip to the newsstand, but you want to see pictures of Megadeath or U2 in Prague, just point your browser to www.R2-D2.cz. He has a catalog of thousands of images, all high quality, and if you want to order a custom print of your favorite group or performer, this is the place.

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Phil Plait’s Bad Astronomy www.badastronomy.com Just what is Bad Astronomy? As an astronomer, teacher, lecturer and all-around science junkie, Phil Plait is exposed to all sorts of people and their ideas about what goes on in the sky around them. He found that most people are very curious about the night (and day!) sky, but that a lot of misinformation is spread about astronomy. Sometimes this information is just plain silly, but many times it makes just enough sense that people believe it. Phil feels obliged to right these wrongs and the Bad Astronomy web pages are devoted to airing out myths and misconceptions in astronomy and related topics. But don’t look here for exposés on such topics as astrology, alternate views of the universe that are clearly in contradiction to observations, and the like. In this site you will also find Bitesized Astronomy, a weekly-updated essay, short and sweet, that describes some simple-to-understand aspect of the real oldest profession. Just click on the word Bitesize on the navigation menu on the left hand side of any page on this site and you will be sent to the most recent Snack. The Mad Science pages are questions he has answered as part of an “Ask A Scientist” group. He also have a section with info about himself, and a search engine, plus contact info as he is available for talks and lectures. Walkmans Are For Wimps [email protected] You’ve always been the most popular, best-dressed, athletic and beautiful person at work and school. But you’ve been missing one thing...until now. Here it is: your dose of hot new MP3s, news, features and more. It’s Payback Time! MP3.com just kicked off the “Payback for Playback” promotion that rewards artists with cold hard cash. They’re giving out $200,000 to artists that qualify with a minimum listen/download requirement. And that’s where you come in. By listening to MP3.com artists, you decide who gets the biggest piece of the money pie. Show your favorite artists that you care and help fuel the digital music revolution! http://click.mp3.com/c/c_asab/n_275355330/u_www/payback Looking for more music recommendations? They’ve got hundreds of song picks just for you, plus personal news pages, custom radio, playlists and more. Check out www.my.mp3.com, your personalized MP3 experience.

SdruÏení DJÛ, sound systémÛ a muzikantÛ z Ostravy a blíz - kého okolí neboli partiãka, která si fiíká dvoika troika a pos - kytuje informace o moravském dûní na webov˘ch stránkách. NesnaÏí se nijak pokr˘t ve‰keré dûní na Severní Moravû, monitorují prostû jen ty akce, na kter˘ch hrají nebo je po fiádají, pfiípadnû obojí...Nedávno svÛj kulturní servis zaktualizovali a kdo chce vefiejnû uplatnit svÛj talent, mÛÏe zasurfovat na http://23.techno.cz a získat bliωí informace. Nebo se alespoÀ dozvûdût, Ïe 2 3 dokonãili 39 nov˘ch trackÛ, vznikl projekt Blackbush Mafia, mají spoustu nov˘ch fotek a Ïe si je mÛÏete poslechnout naÏivo 30.12.99 v praÏském klubu Paradogs. Kód I.C.Q. 246747179. 47 1.12. Wednesday/Středa sestavû a DJ setem legendy anglické housové scény DJ Rocky, kter˘ pÛsobil uÏ od konce Rock Café, Praha—JEFF BIOGRAF a BIG 80.let v peojektech jako FUN + DJ ·mity X-Press 2, Ballistic Brothers nebo Problem Divadlo Archa, Praha—MCH BAND (CZ), Kidz. SPACEHEADS (GB), PALINCKX (NL, Aus). V ZONA DISCO. DJ’s: rámci programu Alternativa ‘99 spoleãnosti Paradogs, Praha— Tvyks, MC Dr.Karry, Loutka, Bob Sinclair Unijazz. U Malého Glena, Praha—NAJPONK TRIO. Skanzen, Praha—BORIS GAGLOEV (Rusko). The Band of the Year Jam Session. Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Quartz Radost FX, Praha—QUICKSILVER PARTY, live WOHNOUT + hip hop DJs, QUICKSILVER girls, decoration. 4.12. Saturday/Sobota ALICE IN JAM (Pearl El Carmel, PlzeÀ—DJ’s: Dys-Martin Rock Café, Praha— Jam/Alice in Chain Revival) Paradogs, Praha—ZONA DISCO. DJ’s: Vik, Loutka, Tvyks, MC Dr.Karry Delta, Praha—ZNOUZECTNOST MALO - Roxy, Praha—MUSIC IS THE KEY. DJ’s: Jeff Malostranská beseda, Praha— Mills, Agent, Matrix STRANSKÁ MIKULÁ·SKÁ, Rock’n’Roll Gang, Velk˘ doprovodn˘ big band Terminal Bar, Praha—Lukasony Picture Show + DJ Milky J. Hály, HawjeÈ. Mecca, Praha—SKIN OFF, DJ Chris Sadler 2.12. Thursday/âtvrtek Radost FX, Praha—NITRO SNB PARTY, Radost FX, Praha—RADOST CLASSIX, DJ SPACEJUNKIES live act + DJ VILEM + DJ Tvyks + host LUCAS + SUNSHINE DJs Lucerna, Velk˘ sál, Praha—ÎENSKÁ Skanzen, Praha—FATHY SALAMA SHARKIAT ZÁLEÎITOST. Koncert. Uvádí SdruÏení ZetÎet. (Egypt). Tato skupina svou hudební inspiraci Barbora Hrzánová, Jana Koubková, Jarmila ãerpá i mimo hranice své domoviny, vychází ·uláková, Zuzana Navarová, Hana Hegerová, v‰ak pfiedev‰ím Vûra Bílá. z hudby arabského svûta. Muzikanti Delux, Praha—Ladies Night pouÏívají pfieváÏnû domorodé hudební Skanzen, Praha—NESSELSDORF, ÚDERY nástroje a cílem jejich hudebního snaÏení je ÚDY, DJ JESUS (techno, acid house, jungle), se dopracovat k samotn˘m kofienÛm této DJ FOREST, DJ TALL. hudby. Jam Session. Styx, Praha—INDIES PARTY. DJ Barlow Punto Azul, Praha—Jungle Fashion Show of /independent rock’n’dance. Black Death NON STYLE (subtitle The lions Tequila za 26 korun. in the club). Módní návrháfiky Markéta Akropolis, Praha—DYSLEXIA PARTY. DJ’s: Valentová a Jana Rollová. DJs Stanzim, James, Ash, Dys-Martin. Probíhá Touchwood, Brada, GJR, Mc Dr Kary, Babe v Divadelním baru, vstup zdarma LN, Dear, Katka. Módní pfiehlídka bude Roxy, Praha—BLOW spojena s vystoupením praÏské skupiny Paradogs, Praha—DOLPHIN MIX. v˘razového tance MK Dance. Jde o mlad˘ DJ’s: Airto, Tráva extravagantní klubov˘ Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Spejbl (Artist E) styl módy. KaÏdé obleãení je originální. V˘robky tûchto návrháfiek se prodávají v 3.12. Friday/Pátek prodejnû M˘rnyx T˘rnyx v Saské uliãce, Malostranská beseda, Praha—KRAUS - Praha 1. BERRY THC, Ostrava—FUTURE BREAKZ. Rock Café, Praha—NOC PLNÁ HARMONIE 4. DJs: Katcha, Touchwood, InspiralX62, J.Dray, Dial Out, High State, Munka Sostali + Djs C.Phone, Live: Blackbush Mafia /Dvoika Koogi, Cucumber, Zetor. Troika/ Feat. MC Dziri Skanzen, Praha—TIM BRADY (Canada). Slévárna ADOS, Teplice—SYMBIOSIS. DJ’s: Kytarista znám˘ pfiedev‰ím díky svému Cymoon, T.V., Ferryt, Raw-E ‰irokému zábûru, kter˘ osciluje mezi rockem Boby Centrum, Brno—BASSBLASTER: THE a klasickou hudbou. Jeho práce zahrnuje MINIMAL TOUR. DJ’s: Joro, Kaisersoze, kompozice pro komorní i velké orchestry, ale Ginger, Daho ztaké elektroakustická díla, hudbu pro Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Switch divadlo i taneãní pfiedstavení ãi jazzové a free improvizace Jam Session. 5.12. Sunday/Neděle Radost FX, Praha—HEADMIX, Mecca, Praha—Kinokavárna, Pudr heads vs techno vs drum’n’bass, salon a benzín, Jan Werich JOSHUA - stfiíhání, barvení, dready, rasta, Akropolis, Praha—DUBOV¯ VEâÍREK grafika, DJ JURIAAN (amsterdam, mazzo) + LIQUIDA A drum’n’bass guest DJs from Amsterdam Lucerna Music Bar, Praha—VOD ≈AN SK¯, Roxy, Praha—LIGHTHOUSE - 4. SKOUMAL NAROZENINY. DJ’s: Rocky (UK), Javas, Josef Terminal Bar, Praha—STRANGE DAYS with SedloÀ, Liquid A, Cubik, Spartax, Fuzzy Logic DJ Crux DJs, Bass, Patrick, Ekumena DJs. Exkluzivní akce agentury Lighthouse spojená s 6.12. Monday/Pondělí ojedinûl˘m koncertem slovenské skupiny This Rock Café, Praha—SKARFACE (France-ska) is Kevin, která se pfiedstaví v osmiãlenné a CRAZY WHEELS + DJ Malostranská beseda, Praha—JI¤Í STIVÍN 48 THINK MAGAZÍN 04/1999 Radost FX, Praha—SKUNKROCK, breakbeat a klarinetistka, vtahuje posluchaãe do dûje in a house of house, a je opravdovou královnou pódia. Chikiliki- DJ KOOGI + skunkguest tu-a. Ze Slovenska jsme se rozhodli pozvat U Malého Glena, Praha—Stan the Man novou, pfiesto v‰ak zajímavou tváfi, skupinu Jazz Club Îelezná, Praha—DG 307 Chikiliki-tu-a z Pre‰ova. Plus jednodenní Akropolis, Praha—DEEP SWEDEN instalace v˘stavy fotek Karla ·ustera Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Yarba Eurotrialog ‘99 Mikulov. Styx, Praha—HROB Production uvádí: 7.12. Tuesday/Úter˘ PAVILÓN 31 Red Room, Praha—Ladies Night Roxy, Praha—MIX. DJs: Matthew B Rock Café, Praha—SECTOR X Bushwacka (The End, UK), J.SedloÀ a SATELIT CANIBAL + DJ Terminal Bar, Praha—TB2 MILLENIUM XMAS PARTY DJ Luger + DJ Moskito Malostranská beseda, Praha—BÍLÁ NEMOC + guests 11.12. Saturday/Sobota Rock Cafe, Praha—SATELIT KANIBAL Mecca, Praha—LIQUID HARMONY night Radost FX, Praha—RICARDO rocks Radost FX, Praha—Hugo Boss presents the CROWD! Enjoy FUNK, R’n’B, SOUL, G- AFTER DARK, DJ FELIPE (titan / vrknall. FUNK,REGGAE Wien, Austria), DJ BENKO (sub tech, Terminal Bar, Praha—MAMBO with Slovakia), AIRTO, BIDLO, LUGER DJ Joss Crooks Divadlo Archa, Praha—Divadlo Husa na provázku and HaDivadlo, Brno. Rozrazil 8.12. Wednesday/Středa 3/’99. After a ten year interlude, the theatres Rock Café, Praha—SLANG&MICHAL DAVID from Brno present the most recent issue of the plays Van Halen and more stage magazine, Rozrazil. Contemporary and Radost FX, Praha—DISCO 2001, with no nostalgia, it returns to the specific DJ LADYA, DJ BRAUN genre of politic theatre. Prague premiere. HaDivadlo, Brno—Sophocles: King Oedipus, Delta, Praha—KRÁSNÉ NOVÉ STROJE Direction: J.A. Pitínsk˘. Styx, Praha—HOREâKA SOBOTNÍ NOCI. DJ This year’s co-production of the Archa Theatre Fydor Kastrol /ideologicky nezávadné hity and the Ha Divadlo of Brno returns to the 80. let/ + filmy, jenÏ záfií rud˘m sluncem Archa Theatre. + míchané nápoje z cukrové tfitiny / personál This production is a unique modern zocelen˘ Karibskou krizí + kdo netancuje, adaptation of the classic drama about je Yankee (soudruÏky vstup zdarma). irreversible fate. Ján Sedal performs Roxy, Praha—trance party ZEN. in the title role. Djs Elektromajk ( Sunflower) + Joel Styx, Praha—YET THE BLOODBELLS CHIME, (Chicago) + guest DJ O.S.L. /industrial/ Továrenská hala DRUTECHNA, + videoprojection: Whitehouse. Bratislava, SK—BOOOMERANG 1999 - EL FUNERAL DE LA FIESTA. DJ’s: piceee (Brazil), U Malého Glena, Praha—Band of Jakey’s Mic (PL), Nika77, Dalo, Tibor Roxy, Praha—ECSTASY OF ST. THERESA Paradogs, Praha—SHADOW BOX. DJ’s: Terminal Bar, Praha—Lukasony Picture Koogi, Duncan Forbes, Jan 2 Show + DJ Cubik Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Wax

9.12. Thursday/âtvrtek 12.12. Sunday/Neděle Radost FX, Praha—RITEMIX, DJ JOSEF Malostranská beseda, Praha—ZUZANA SEDLO≈ + host NAVAROVÁ & IVAN GUTIÉRREZ a skupina Delta, Praha—ZUBY NEHTY (kfiest CD) KOA. Latin Music. Roxy, Praha—CD RELEASE PARTY. DJs: Mecca, Praha—Kinokavárna, Slzy, které svût Koogi, Liquid A. Live: Ohm Square. Chill out nevidí, Jan Werich by Quadrant sound system Akropolis, Praha—ABBA QÁBA Akropolis, Praha—PSÍ VOJÁCI Roxy, Praha—TEATRO.XY uvádí “Prostfieno Roxy, Praha—Roxy promotion uvádí k prasknutí” ( E. Jókuls dóttir). Spiritistická SOUNDZ 99 nekrogroteska. TatáÏ slova 3 x jinak. Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Nika 77 Terminal Bar, Praha—STRANGE DAYS with Delux, Praha—Ladies Night DJ Crux

10.12. Friday/Pátek 13.12. Monday/Pondělí Mecca, Praha—ENERGY NIGHT Rock Café, Praha—TAM (20th (kfiest desky), Gemini Compilation, anniversary) + guests + DJ DJ Milan KrouÏil, DJ Beax, DJ Mirk, Modní Radost FX, Praha—VIBES & STUFF, pfiehlídka Socking Women hip hop rodeo, vstup 50,- pivo 25,mics, Radost FX, Praha—ELLE PARTY, the best wheels of steel, real HIP-HOP and R’n’B, fashion party in town DJ ORION, DJ RICHARD Rock Café, Praha—EGGNOISE, VRTULE 1 a Klub Meloun, Praha—EXTRÉMNÍ PONDùLÍ. ETURNITY for Amnesty International J.X.DoleÏal + host Ida Saudková APOKALYPSE KULTURE Malostranská beseda, Praha—BESÍDKA Terminal Bar, Praha— 3 (at Klub Roxy) DIVADLA DOSTAVNÍK Kotelna, Litomy‰l—SATELIT KANIBAL Delta, Praha—EUROTRIALOG - Pluto (Cz), 14.12. Tuesday/Úter˘ Werk (A), Chikiliki-tu-a (Sk). Pluto je Rock Café, Praha—DIVOKEJ BILL, LETY formace zaloÏená brnûnsk˘m bubeníkem MIMO a THE HOOKERS + DJ ·mity Pavlem Fajtem, která obdivuhodnû kloubí Radost FX, Praha—RICARDO presents SOUL rytmicky ko‰até podklady se siln˘mi TRAIN, RICARDO rocks the CROWD! Enjoy melodiemi. Werk FUNK, R’n’B, SOUL, G-FUNK,REGGAE v souãasné dobû rozhodnû nejznámûj‰í Terminal Bar, Praha—MAMBO with rakouská kapela v âechách. Jejich doménou DJ Joss Crooks je v˘razn˘ rytmick˘ základ doplnûn˘ o samplery a vyuÏívání nejmodernûj‰ích 15.12. Wednesday/Středa hudebních postupÛ vãetnû taneãní ãi elektron- Rock Café, Praha—AGNUS DEI 49 > ické hudby. Frontmanka Karin, zpûvaãka + DESPONDANCING + DJ Radost FX, Praha—DISCO 2001, DJ min.). Betlém (Bethlehem), dir. + art. Jifií LADYA, DJ BRAUN, DJ PIERRE Trnka, CZ 1962 (10 min.), Jak postavit Divadlo Archa, Praha—Vizita Theatre: snûhuláka (How to Make Snowman), dir. Truth on the Run. The chamber duet (Pjér + art. J. Ungrád, CZ 1981 (3 min.), La‰éz + Jaroslav Du‰ek) have never Jen poãkej! -IV. (Just wait! IV), hesitated going to the border. Indeed, it is lit dir. V. Kotûnoãkin, art. S.Rusakov, by V. Zborník so that it cannot be crossed. SSSR 1972 (9 min.). Roxy, Praha—ANIMA SOUND SYSTEM Futurum Music Bar—BÍLÁ NEMOC STRANGE DAYS Terminal Bar, Praha—Lukasony Picture Terminal Bar, Praha— with DJ Crux Show + DJ Milky 20.12. Monday/Pondělí 16.12. Thursday/âtvrtek Radost FX, Praha—DISCO 2001, Delux, Praha—Ladies Night DJ LADYA, DJ BRAUN, DJ PIERRE U Malého Glena, Praha—NAJPONK TRIO. Divadlo Archa, Praha—El Dorado - Silent The Band of the Year Film and Live Music. Directed by Marcel Paradogs, Praha—LA SOIREE (house) L’Herbier, France 1921 (100 min.). The Rock Café, Praha—MUTE DEAFNESS screening of the newly restored copy of the + LOCOMOTIVE + DJ drama of one of the greatest personalities of Akropolis, Praha—ZULUMILL. United Colors the silent film era. Sibilla is a dancer in the of Akropolis. El Dorado Cabaret in Seville. Ion order to Futurum Music Bar, Praha—LAURA A JEJÍ cure her son, she returns to one of her old TYG¤I patrons, but he doesn’t help her. She tries Roxy, Praha—Wax uvádí: MARLBORO other things, but she is running out of ROOFTOP PARTY. Freedom of Choice. 2 best resources...The live music of Filip Topol will international Djs. 6 best czech DJs. accompany the silent film. Terminal Bar, Praha—Aftermath DB (Live Akropolis, Praha—âESKOMORAVSKÁ Breakbeat Culture) HUDEBNÍ SPOLEâNOST Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Yarba HAIRCUTS BY LUCIE Your way or any way call today! 232 1496

17.12. Friday/Pátek 21.12. Tuesday/Úter˘ Paradogs, Praha—DOLPHIN MIX (house) Radost FX, Praha—RICARDO presents Akropolis, Praha—Euroconnections uvádí: SOUL TRAIN, RICARDO rocks the CROWD! N.O.H.A (D), SKYLINE (CZ) Enjoy FUNK, R’n’B, SOUL, G-FUNK,REGGAE Ladies Night Lucerna Music Bar, Praha—KUR TI ZÁNY Z Red Room, Praha— Malostranská beseda, Praha—·VI HADLO. 25. AVENUE Reggae. Roxy, Praha—zlatá POPELKA special. Djs Divadlo Archa, Praha—El Dorado, Silent LOUTKA + Vilém + special guest. Perfor - Film and Live Music. This evening’s mance by FAUX PAS, special videoprojection. screening, the live music of VráÈa Brabenec Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Quartz and his guests will accompany the silent film. 18.12. Saturday/Sobota Terminal Bar, Praha—MAMBO with DJ Joss Akropolis, Praha—GOTHART Crooks Paradogs, Praha—MATERIAL PARTY (technohouse) 22.12. Wednesday/Středa Styx, Praha—Hype Nite Design uvádí: Rock Café, Praha—THE APPLES TRANSPERSONAL X-PRESS /15 hours dance + DùDA MLÁDEK ILLEGAL BAND (Ivan Mládek Revival) + DJ musiq non-stop/. DJ’s: Tony Noir, Shiroco, Styx, Praha—Noc nezávislého filmu - Styren, Freak, DJoy. 21:05 start trip; 05:00 celonoãní projekce skuteãn˘ch filmov˘ch stop party; 05:05 start AFTER party; 12:00 rarit stop trip, go home! 22.12. Wednesday/Středa Lucerna Music Bar, Praha—80’s PARTY. Lucerna Music Bar, Praha—CHINASKI DJ Jirka Neumann Roxy, Praha—WORLD BEAT AND MORE. Klub Mlejn, Praha—FILIP TOPOL Dj Liquid A + Mc Dr. Kary +VÁCLAV KOUBEK (from vintage, reggae, ska & dub through Roxy, Praha—SUSHI. Dj Bidlo (Wax) latin to new ethno beats) + Skipworker + Stephunk ( Liquid Djs). + very special guest WOODEN TOYS Chill out Djs Terminal Bar, Praha—Lukasony Picture Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Luger & guest Show (The Nightmare Before Christmas) + DJ Babe LN 19.12. Sunday/Neděle Kinokavárna, Koãár Mecca, Praha— 23.12. Thursday/âtvrtek nejsvûtûj‰í svátosti, Jan Werich Delux, Praha—Ladies Night Divadlo Archa, Praha—MOVIES: Blinkity Rock Café, Praha—VANESSA + DJ Blank, dir. + art. Norman McLaren, Canada Malostranská beseda, Praha—BLUES 1964 (4 min.), Hádanky za bonbón (A Candy for a Riddle), dir. + art.. Jifií Bárta, PARTY. Tony Blues Band a Tonya Graves, CZ 1978 (8 min.),O rybáfii, kter˘ nikdy nic Blues Messengers, Honánek Shows His Boys. nechytil (The Fisherman Who Never Caught Radost FX, Praha—Miks Maks presents a Thing), dir. + art. Nina âampulková, CZ DOUBLE BOUBLE, DJ CHRIS SADLER, DJ 1985 (8 min.), Krátk˘ pfiíbûh (Short Story), LOUTKA, DJ VECTIF dir. Milan Peer, art. J.Tippmann, CZ 1988 (2 Paradogs, Praha—FRENCH CONNECTION. DJs: David Bowles (FR), Tvyks, Dys-Martin 50 THINK MAGAZÍN 04/1999 Roxy, Praha—Roxy promotion & PRE CEDENS Rock. Linhartova nadace Vás zvou na vánoãní Radost FX, Praha—VIBES & STUFF, hip pohodu THE NIGHT OF YOUR WISHES in hop rodeo, vstup 50,- pivo 25, mics, wheels ambient dream of steel, real HIP-HOP and R’n’B, DJ Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Spejbl (Artist E) ORION, DJ RICHARD 24.12. Friday/Pátek Terminal Bar, Praha—Seismic Wave RADOST FX—Ballantine’s Soul Mix with Factory (Industrial Ambient Noise) Ricardo and crew! Malostranská beseda, Praha—PUN KOVÁ 28.12. Tuesday/Úter˘ PULNOâNÍ. Prohrála v kartách Radost FX, Praha—RICARDO presents Rock Café, Praha—CHRISTMAS DANCE SOUL TRAIN, RICARDO rocks the CROWD! DISCO. Free Entrance! Enjoy FUNK, R’n’B, SOUL, G-FUNK,REGGAE Radost FX, Praha—BALLANTINES Red Room, Praha—Ladies Night SOULMIX. Xmas Party, funk, r’n’b, soul, U Malého Glena, Praha—MARCEL BÁRTA 7 famous DJs. Funkin’H Styx, Praha—Sedíme doma, jíme rybu... pfiídem v deset. 22:00 - UÏ jsme tady Roxy, Praha—Linhartova nadace uvádí a rozdáváme dárky (speciální ceny na “Poslední smr‰È” - BIO ROXY a TEATRO.XY chlast - sponzoruje dûdek Mráz) Filmy, divadlo a koncert sk. LEGUAR GR + Dj Roxy, Praha—T.N.T. a F.I.S.A. uvádí Joker. Terminal Bar, Praha—MAMBO Djs Formi (Joker rezident), Lumiere (Joker with DJ Joss Crooks president ), Loutka (Roxydust). Chill out: Dj

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Lop Mark. 29.12. Wednesday/Středa Terminal Bar, Praha—DJ Spejbl (Artist E) Radost FX, Praha—LA SCALA presents 25.12. Saturday/Sobota HEAVEN, DJ BRAUN, DJ GONZA Rock Café, Praha—NIRVANA El Carmel, PlzeÀ—DJ Ash Revival Band. Roxy, Praha—WORLD BEAT AND MORE- Mecca, Praha—STUDIO 54, SPECIAL. Dj Liquid A + MC Dr. Kary (from DJ Kristian, DJ Neo vintage reggae, ska & dub, through in to Radost FX, Praha—SPACE MODE:I:FICTION, new ethno beats) + special live guests: DJ ARTIST E + hosté Nyabinghi Warriors ( CZ – Gambia), Futurum Music Bar, Praha—FU TUREMIX Dubonet ãesko/jamaisko/turecky projekt + DJs & MUSICIANS. DJs Liquid A, Babe LN, ãlenÛ kapely ·vihadlo) + Djs Krishpeen, MC Dr Kary Babylon Rocker Tovární hala, Teplice—TRI-ZONE - the Terminal Bar, Praha—Lukasony Picture pre-millenium techno fest. DJ’s: Mike Show + DJ Cubik Shanon (Can), Toky (Sk), Leo Lycra, Pietro, Nika77, Ash, Babe LN, Katcha. 30.12. Thursday/âtvrtek Roxy, Praha—CLIMAX. DJ Chris Sadler Radost FX, Praha—JUST ONE DAY, KD, Ústi nad Orlicí—TECHNO X-MAS - Dj LUMIERE + host SACRE. DJs: Agent, Pietro, Artie, e-Li Mazan˘ králíãek, PlzeÀ—DJ’s: Liquid A + MC Dr.Karry 26.12. Sunday/Neděle Paradogs, Praha—DJ’s: Loutka, Tráva. Rock Café—CRAZY WHEELS Chillout by dvoika.troika: grapefruit moon, + TOM’S BILLY + DJ eklekt, junkett, item a la playa a Mecca, Praha—Kinokavárna. sub.d.visionz, DJ’s inspiralX62 a fracture. VEâER GROTESEK Roxy, Praha—Y2K CREAM. Radost FX, Praha—SANTA’s FLASHBACK, Feat. Djs Lucas (Roxydust), Gonza DJ TVYKS, DJ LUMIERE (La scala), Braun, Cubik Roxy, Praha—HIP HOP HOORAY! Djs - A to the K, Richard & Orion na ãtyfii gramofony + live act – Wich&Indy, special guest, videoprojekce, blunts, chilling, breakdance

27.12. Monday/Pondělí Malostranská beseda, Praha— 51

CO S P¤ICHÁZEJÍCÍM SILVESTREM?

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Ne každý z nás patří mezi aktivní plánovače oslav, ale Silvestr je Silvestr. PRETENIOUS The Clark & Ware Experiment A ten leto‰ní je sv˘m pfieklenutím tisíciletí jedineãn˘. Pro mû je principiálnû stejn˘ jako ty ostatní, ov‰em od toho se z pochopitel - n˘ch dÛvodÛ oprostím a soustfiedím se na první variantu. TakÏe, blíÏí se velkolepé oslavy Milénia, a nûkolik dnÛ nás dûlí od nového tisíciletí, od kterého si snad nûkdo nûco ANI DIFRANCO slibuje? To the Teeth ZpÛsobÛ, jak oslavy trávit, je bezesporu mnoho od povalování pfied televizí, sledování ,,vtipn˘ch" pofiadÛ a konzumování chlebíãkÛ (to snad ne!), potloukání se po ulicích a vychutnávání atmosféry ãi davové psychózy (jak tomu kdo fiíká), kalení v klubech, barech nebo hospodách, speciálních programÛ je opravdu spousta… ·Èastní ti, ktefií odjíÏdí z mûsta podobající se spí‰e raketové základnû a mífií do hor - za pfiírodou, klidem, snûhem a pohodou vÛbec. Úskalí ov‰em tkví hned v nûkolika prob- lémech: troufám si tvrdit, Ïe sehnat v tomto období slu‰né ubytování je utopií, neboÈ mnohá horská zafiízení jsou rezervovaná na nûkolik let. Jak se mi dostalo informací, NON v˘hledovû je voln˘ rok 2003! A pokud se opravdu snaÏíte, jste zoufalí a hledáte, kde se dá, ztroskotáte na neuvûfiiteln˘ch cenách, které poÏadují vydûraãi nabízející své chaty a chatky na poslední chvíli, navíc se speciálním pfiíplatkem za silvestrovské menu, o které stejnû ani trochu nestojíte! Co tedy dûlat, kdyÏ si chcete uÏít s pfiáteli oslav pfiíchozího roku, si musí kaÏd˘ zodpovûdût sám a taky to udûlá, nic nového. MoÏná pfiijdete na to, Ïe tentokrát se uch˘líte do pfiístfie‰ku patfiícímu nûkomu z va‰ich pfiátel a s tûmi vybran˘mi, s nimiÏ chcete opravdu b˘t, zcela neomezenû, neorgazinovanû a svébytnû budete dûlat co JAZZ REVELATIONS chcete. V tomto pfiípadû nebuìte pasivní, pfiece nechcete b˘t znudûní hosté, a postarejte se o zaji‰tûní hudby, netradiãní v˘zdoby, pfiísunu dobrého jídla a pochoutek, jestliÏe A Collection of New Jazz nechcete dojíÏdût vánoãní pozÛstatky, samozfiejmû a moÏná v první fiadû nápojÛ a dal‰ích neodmysliteln˘ch sloÏek dobré nálady… Pokud je va‰ím úkolem právû zaji‰tení obãerstvení, poho‰tûní, vychutin… zkrátka potravy a pití, nask˘tá se hned nûkolik moÏností. Jednou z nich je nákup chipsÛ mnoha druhÛ a chutí, stejnû tak tyãinek a keksÛ, vãetnû ofií‰kÛ. Dal‰í alternativou je nákup ãi v˘roba jednohubek (nûkolik vûcí spojen˘ch pomocí párátka v jednu), osobnû se pfiikláním k vlastní v˘robû, a tím se také vyhnete vylupování nechtûn˘ch ãástí, které nejíte nebo vám nechutnají. A nebo zhotovte nûkterou z mnoha netradiãních specialit, na které se opravdu vyfiádíte a uplatníte svou fantazii, napfiíklad avokádo. Je nutné pfiedeslat, Ïe tento nepfiíli‰ znám˘ plod se k nám KEN ISHII dostal z tropické Ameriky, vût‰inou se pfiipravuje jako salát, a pfiestoÏe jde o ovoce, vyuÏívá se spí‰ jako zelenina, tfieba takto: SLeeping Madness Dvû zralá avokáda se po délce rozpÛlí, obsah se vydlabe a duÏina se smíchá s luãinou, tfiemi lÏícemi majonézy a kraby z konzervy. Vzniklá hmota se ochutí lÏiãkou drceného zeleného pepfie, malou krájenou cibulí, nasekan˘mi vla‰sk˘mi ofiechy, solí a citronovou ‰távou. V‰e promíchejte a naplÀte vydlabaná avokáda. Ozdobou ne‰etfiete a v˘sledek ‰oupnûte vychladit do lednice. Dostupnûj‰ím sortimentem jsou oranÏové koule, cenné zdroje vitamínu C. Nesná‰ím loupání pomeranãové kÛry, takÏe tady je návod na dobrÛtku, jejíÏ pfiíprava spoãívá v odfiíznutí vr‰ku, vydlabání a ozdobného vykrojení noÏem nebo speciálními nÛÏkami. To, co vám z toho vznikne, by se mûlo podobat jak˘msi ko‰íãkÛm, 100% U.K. Hip-Hop naplÀte to po okraj nejrÛznûj‰ím ovocem a v‰ím, co vám pfiijde pod ruku, kousky banánÛ, kiwi, jablek, grapefruitÛ, ofiechÛ, madlí… Povafiením cukru s vodou a pfiidáním brandy, If it’s Not, You Can Have koÀaku nebo lidového rumu získáme sirup, po jehoÏ vychladnutí jím zalijeme naplnûné pomeranãe. KdyÏ jsme u tûch oranÏov˘ch koulí, a pfiestoÏe se kuchyni vyh˘bám, jak mÛÏu, napadá mû drink pro mrazivé dny jak dûlan˘: opût spoãívá ve vafiení vody, tentokrát s pomeraãov˘m sirupem. Po tomto nepfiíli‰ nároãném v˘konu pfiidáme vymaãkanou ‰távu z pomeranãÛ a whisky, vodku nebo cokoliv, co va‰im chuÈov˘m buÀkám nebude v této ALL TITLES AVAILABLE AT: kombinaci odporné. Dal‰ích rad a návodÛ vás u‰etfiím, pijte a jezte to, co vám chutná, co Radost FX Music Shop Bûlehradská 120 I.P. Pavlova máte rádi a co zvládnete. Ale hlavnû si uÏívejte, bavte se a radujte! -text: Efka Koláfiová Distributed by MONITOR/EMI 53 RADA

estliÏe se na Nov˘ rok hodláte pfietláskat v‰emi destiláty, které your New Year's plan includes a regimen of festive over-indulgence, the brilliant Dr Death, Jbudou na dosah, mûli byste pfiijmout za své rady fieditele 'Kliniky If director of the Hell-of-a-Headache Clinic may be able to assist somewhat. He brutally points out pro pekeln˘ bolehlav,' doktora SmrÈáka. MoÏná, Ïe vám pomohou that actually there is no way of completely ridding yourself of a hangover. But you can take some steps alespoÀ trochu zmen‰it tu zkázu, kterou napácháte, i kdyÏ doktor to minimize the damage. You know the scenario: you wander in at 3a.m. after a thoroughly vivacious SmrÈák podot˘ká, Ïe ve skuteãnosti neexistuje zpÛsob, jak se party, having had more than a few of whatever was going. After dancing around the room with the kocoviny naráz zbavit. Zkrátka tím musíte projít. cat and telling it how much it reminds you of Bjork and how you'll be off to the Bahamas together Obecnû známá situace: blíÏí se tfietí ráno a zbûsil˘ veãírek se ch˘lí tomorrow, you suddenly fall on the bed/couch/floor and pass out. ke konci. Matnû si uvûdomujete, jak jste tanãili s koãkou po celé míst- Don't pass out! Your metabolism slows down when you're asleep, so your body takes longer to nosti, vykládali jí, jak nápadnû vám pfiipomíná Bjork a Ïe spolu zítra process and safely dispose of all that alcohol. This is how hangovers happen. You are going to stay vypadnete na Bahamy. A pak najednou vypadnete vy, ale do postele, awake for at least an hour, so chat with a friend (or the cat), make a cup of tea (not coffee - that just na gauã nebo pfiímo na zem a jste v limbu. ·patnû! Neusínejte. Vበdehydrates you more), do anything that keeps you awake. metabolismus se pfii spánku zpomaluje a trvá mu déle, neÏ odbourá If you have poisoned your body and deprived it of sleep, it needs time to heal and you need to time alkohol. A z toho vzniká kocovina. Pokuste se zÛstat vzhÛru alespoÀ to suffer. However he says there are certain things you can do to make it feel a little better. 8 rad Dr. SmrÈáka jak si poradit s kocovinou Dr Death's 8 Step Hangover Cure Program

dal‰í hodinu, s nûk˘m si povídejte, s pfiáteli nebo s koãkou, uvafite si hrnek ãaje, ne kafe, to by vás je‰tû Step 1 Drink fruit juice. The fructose will help you metabolise the alcohol faster. víc dehydrovalo. Dûlejte cokoli, co vás udrÏí vzhÛru. Nicménû si nemyslete, Ïe nebudete trpût. Otrávili Step 2 Pain relief. A headache is one of the worst parts of a hangover. jste své tûlo, obrali ho o spánek, co mÛÏete ãekat? Doktor SmrÈák vám radí, jak uãinit cel˘ proces Step 3 Drink Water. Plenty before and after bedtime will help rehydration. snesitelnûj‰ím. Pravda je, Ïe tento plán nemusí nutnû vést k tomu, aby jste se cítili morálnû a fyzicky Step 4 Eat amino acids. To help replace the proteins destroyed by alcohol. nadfiazení ostatním smrtelníkÛm, ale bude se vám to alespoÀ o nûco lépe pfiedstírat. Step 5 Coffee. Just 2 cups the next morning will reduce the swelling in your blood vessels that causes headache. 1. krok: Pijte ovocn˘ dÏus. Fruktóza pomáhá metabolismu zbavit se alkoholu Step 6 A good meal - keep it light. No fats or fried foods. Goulash will help replace rychleji. salt and potassium. 2. krok: Zbavte se bolesti hlavy, je to jeden z nejhor‰ích prÛvodcÛ kocoviny. Step 7 Take B complex vitamins. This shortens hangovers by aiding your stressed Dovoluje se prá‰ek. body systems. 3. krok: Pijte vodu. Hodnû pfied spaním a hodnû po probuzení. Pomáhá pfii Step 8 Sleep. Next day go to bed early. rehydrataci. Your body can then repair itself. 4. krok: Dodejte tûlu aminokyseliny, nahradíte tak proteiny, které jste zniãili alkoholem. This plan may not necessarily leave you ? 5. krok: Káva. Dva ‰álky kávy uvolní va‰e staÏené Ïíly, které jsou hlavní pfiíãi- feeling morally and physically superior nou bolesti hlavy. to other mortals, but you may be able 6. krok: Dejte si dobré lehké jídlo. Îádné tuãné ani smaÏené. GulበpomÛÏe to pretend that little bit better. doplnit zásoby soli. Sleep it off. You will require something 7. krok: Vezmûte si B-komplex vitamín. Zkracuje kocovinu tím, Ïe vás zbaví protein-heavy for breakfast (I favour stresu. grilled cheese on toast) - avoid lots of 8. krok: Vyspûte se z toho! Následující den se odeberte do postele brzy. Va‰e sugar. Have a coffee now, and extra tûlo se musí opravit. Pak si dejte snídani bohatou na proteiny (tfieba water. Go out and face the day! zapeãen˘ toast se s˘rem) a vyhnûte se cukru. Pak si dejte kávu, k ní sklenku vody a vykroãte ven vstfiíc novému dni! CAUTION! This advice should not be taken as legally or medically binding, and no responsibility for injury, property damage or loss of common sense will be taken by the publishers of this material.

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