Resources SafeHouse Services are all free, confidential, What is domestic violence? and inclusive. We provide:

Domestic violence is a PATTERN of  24 Hour Help Line: 734-995-5444 coercive behavior used by people to  Help getting a protection order control their intimate partners. It  Legal advocacy Domestic can include physical, emotional,  Counseling  Safety Planning sexual, spiritual and/or economic  Support Groups Violence in abuse.  Shelter

Local Resources: LGBTIQ  Jim Toy Community Center: (734) 995-9867 SafeHouse Center recognizes that http://www.wrap-up.org/ Communities violence occurs by and against all  The Neutral Zone genders and across all sexual (734) 214-9995 orientations. We work to end the http://www.neutral-zone.org/ oppression of all people as well as  Pride Zone at Ozone House value and celebrate the diversity of (734) 662-2265 A Resource for Lesbian, our community. SafeHouse Center http://ozonehouse.org/programs/qu Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, strives to protect the rights of eerzone.php everyone.  Spectrum Center Intersex, Queer, and (734) 763-4186 http://spectrumcenter.umich.edu Questioning Survivors of (U of M affiliate resource) Domestic Violence Michigan Resources:

How can I help my friend or  Michigan Coalition to End Domestic Violence & Sexual Violen partner? ce 517-347-7000 www.mcedsv.org • Believe them!  Equality Michigan 313-537-7000 • Respect their need for www.eqaulitymi.org

confidentiality • Avoid judgmental comments/jokes National Resources: • Ask how you can assist rather than  The National Domestic Violence giving advice Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) http://www.thehotline.org/ • Respect their decisions even when  The Northwest Network yours may be different http://nwnetwork.org • Be a good listener  The Survivor Project • Offer your unconditional love and http://www.survivorproject.org/ support  The Icarus Project http://www.theicarusproject.net Information provided by SafeHouse Center and the Michigan Coalition to End Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

Power and Control Tactics How do I know if I’m Safety Planning for of Relationship Violence being abused? Relationship Violence: Along with the many concerns survivors Has your partner? of relationship violence may experience,  Threatened to hurt you, your If you are in the relationship: survivors from LGBTIQ communities children, pets, or themselves if you • During an argument, try to get to a face unique barriers and challenges. leave? room with an exit & phone. Avoid the

 Threatened to “out” you? kitchen (weapons) and the bathroom Being Outed  Threatened to harm or take away (no exit). Fear that the abuser and/or self- your children? Threatened to “out”  Make a list of safe people to call disclosure of the abuse will “out” them. you to your ex-spouse or  Memorize all important numbers This is difficult and may be dangerous if authorities so they will take the people are not supportive of or sensitive  Establish a code word or sign with children? to LGBTIQ struggles. family and friends so they know  Kept you from seeing friends or when to call for help

family?  Think about what you will say to Discriminatory Responses  Prevented you from seeking your partner if they become Many people minimize the experiences medical treatment, taken away violent of LGBTIQ survivors or believe myths hormones, binders, or clothes?  Teach children to call for help that they deserved or enjoyed the abuse.  Monitored your phone calls or No one deserves or likes to be abused  Give your social security card and texts, read your email or mail? and abuse is never the fault of the birth certificate to a safe person survivor.  Belittled your identity?  Humiliated you in front of your If you have left the relationship: Self-Doubt friends or co-workers?  Change your phone number and Many survivors experience self-blame  Used the wrong pronouns screen calls and doubt. LGBTIQ survivors may also intentionally or called you “it”?  Document all contacts, messages, question their gender identity or sexual  Hit, punched, grabbed, slapped, bit injuries or other incidents orientation as a result of the abuse they or kicked you? involving the abuser have experienced.  Forced you to do something sexual  Change locks if the abuser has a that you did not want to do? key Homophobia  Told you you’re not a “real” man or  Try to stay with people you trust / There are several tactics of power and woman? decrease isolation control that may be specific to the  Told you you’re not a “real” lesbian  Plan how to get away if confronted LGBTIQ populations such as gestures to or gay man by the abuser reinforce homophobic control,  Broken your things or hurt your  If you have to meet you partner, reinforcing internalized homophobia, pets? do it in a public place and saying no one will believe you  Threatened you with a weapon?  Vary your routine because of homophobia in society, to  Taken your money?  Notify school or work contacts name a few.