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The Great Chupacabra Conspiracy

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The Great Chupacabra Conspiracy PSYCHIC VIBRATIONS ROBERT SHEAFFER The Great Chupacabra Conspiracy or about the last year, Chile and a short time later the university tails on the recent major sightings. It other South American countries announced that the remains were that of contains photos of animals that have Fhave suffered a veritable blitz of a dog. However, local residents are out- supposedly been killed by chupacabras, chupacabra attacks, the supposed fero- raged, insisting that university officials and supposed tracks of the beast. You cious "goat suckers" that torment must have switched the genuine chu- can even listen to a simulation of the Hispanic farmers and ranchers, but pacabra remains with that of a dog. Dr. Blood Predator's fearsome cry. One never trouble those from other cultural Edmundo Torres, vice chancellor and intriguing hypothesis suggested on the backgrounds. Joseph Trainor's UFO director of scientific research at UNAN- Web site is that the chupacabras may Roundup from the U.K. informs us Leon, denies that any such thing was actually be "alien pets." (www.ufoinfo.com/roundup/v05/ rnd05_21 .shtml) that, the newspaper Rancher Jorge Luis Talavera apparently shot one Cronica of Concepci6n, Chile, reported that not only were the chupacabras up of the elusive chupacabras. This caused great to their usual tricks, but that they excitement among cryptozoologists and UFOIogists, appear to be at the center of a sinister conspiracy. In fact, a whole family of the only to be deflated when a short time later the fierce little devils were reportedly cap- university announced that the remains were tured—a Daddy Chup, a Mommy Chup, and a tiny little Baby Chup— that of a dog. "and were delivered to agents of the USA's FBI agency which arrived at done, but he is assumed to be part of the But Chupacabras are not the only Calama from Santiago [where the conspiracy. Talavera claims to have strange creatures running about that sci- American federal police have an office in sighted a second chupacabra, but this entists are too closed-minded to accept. their embassy]. The creatures quietly one is only "about the size of a Pekinese According to a recent BBC news story would have been taken to the USA," dog," which would make it all die easier (http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/ where I suppose they were carried away for the scientists-in-cahoots to switch world/asiapacific/ncwsid_ 1059000/ to Area 51. the body of this genuine fierce creature 1059099-stm) no less a personage than In Nicaragua, rancher Jorge Luis with that of a yappy, spoiled pup. Princess Rangsrinopadorn Yukol of Talavera apparently shot one of the elu- But some serious-minded investiga- Thailand claims to have seen, and even sive chupacabras on August 25, 2000. tors seek to initiate a scientific study of filmed, long-haired elephants (said to be The wounded creature staggered off, but chupacabras and raise it above the level related to woolly mammoths) that have its remains were discovered three days of ridicule. With this aim, Dr. Virgilio secreted themselves in a remote part of later and delivered to the Universidad Sanchez-Ocejo of the Miami UFO that country. But Dr. Preecha Puangkam, Nacional Autonoma de Nicaragua Center has given the alleged creatures (UNAN) in Leon. This caused great the "scientific name" of "hemo preda- Robert Sheaffer's World Wide Web page for excitement among cryptozoologists and tor." His Web site at http://blood UFOs and other skeptical subjects is at UFOIogists, only to be deflated when predator.homestead.com contains de- wunv.debunker. com. SKEPTICAL INQUIRER March/Apnl 2001 19 an expert on elephants, said after viewing hundreds of wings that propel them seen in the photos, revealing that the die film that it shows only ordinary ele- through the sky. Science does not seem camera was much closer to the ground phants, and he even identified the herd aware of them, but we obtain a steady than anyone had previously suspected. captured on film. But this has not stream of these reports. We urge anyone Either farmer Trent ran out of the house deterred a band of intrepid explorers, to attempt to capture them for scientific with his camera, then unexpectedly including the Princess, who have set off analysis. Assuming these reports are crouched down near the ground to get into the wilderness to stalk the woolly accurate we may have discovered a new photos of a saucer as it flew by, or else he wanted to put as much distance as pos- sible between his camera and the tiny Veteran researcher Don Worley of the model UFO that he had hung from the overhead wires. Carpenter says, "The Institute for UFO Research has listed a number overall geometry of the positions and of instances in which the UFO aliens abducted the attributes of the camera suggest that he was attempting to frame a nearby someone but brought them back wearing object in such a way as to maximize the different clothes. amount of sky around it and enhance its apparent altitude." You can judge for yourself after seeing Carpenter's pages at Thai neo-mammoths. We wish them the life form. Sometimes they appear to www.ufx.org/mcminn/photo.htm. best of luck. have light-making ability similar to Recent research reveals that the alien This column recendy reported on lightning bugs." abductors are not quite as clever as the mysterious, fast-moving "flying In recent years, UFO proponents some have thought. In fact, in many rods" that are being reported from many have one case they have been touting as cases they can be downright careless places (SI March/April, 2000, p. 20). the most solid, indisputable proof of the and stupid. Veteran researcher Don MUFON's Eastern Director George A. existence of flying craft seen in plain Worley of the Institute for UFO Filer reports (http://ufoinfo.com/filer/ daylight. It is the pair of famous photos Research has listed a number of 2000/ff_0039.shtml) that one of these taken by the late Paul Trent of instances in which the UFO aliens critters was apparently captured and McMinnville, Oregon, on May 11, abducted someone but brought them killed with bug spray. According to Filer, 1950, and left unresolved by the back wearing different clothes Chuck Rogers of Bethlehem, Condon Committee investigation in (www.frii.com/-iufor/worley.htm). For Pennsylvania, inadvertently captured a 1969. (This is in spite of numerous example, one woman was apparently rod in his home, which tried to escape. inconsistencies and implausibilities that abducted wearing a Victoria's Secret "Apparently it was caught inside a gro- have been known for years. See my Web nightgown, but brought back wearing a cery bag in his sink and started to thrash page at www.debunker.com/trent. man's oversized shirt. "What man until it flew swiftly out of the bag. html.) Now UFOlogist Joel Carpenter awakened in the Victoria's Secret night- Barely visible, it flew into the next room seems to have dealt the Trent photos a gown," asks Worley, "and what did he where his lab is located and hit the foam major, and possibly fatal, blow. tell his wife?" Another woman appar- tile ceiling a few times. Sulfur powder Carpenter, an enthusiast for restoring ently had her nightgown switched for was in the lab and used to control para- old vehicles, noted the similarity of the T-shirt of a Japanese marathon run- sites on their dog. He spotted the flying Trent's supposed UFO to the side mir- ner (which is all the more puzzling, rod and sprayed insect spray at it and rors that were used in trucks during the given the almost total absence of UFO didn't see it for a while. He spotted a 1920s and 30s. As it happens, the prin- abduction claims from Japan). A diaphanous, transparent, and obviously cipal reason that the Trent "UFO" is farmer in Illinois moved but apparently immobile (dead) object in the sulfur considered anomalous is that the failed to inform his regular UFO powder. When he touched the object, it Condon investigation revealed that den- abductors, who peered in the usual disintegrated into the powder." Since sitometric measurements of its under- windows and frightened the new ten- the remains of the creature in the pow- side show it to be brighter than expected ants out of their wits. der have apparently not been saved, the for a plain, shaded white nearby surface. * * » loss to science is incalculable. However, if the underside of the Filer adds, "Periodically we receive object is a mirror instead of a diffuse Just because not much has been written reports of flying objects that appear to reflector, what we are seeing is not a lately about the ongoing war on the part be something like flying transparent jel- shaded surface but the reflection of a of Scientology against its critics does not lyfish, caterpillars, or rods. They have sunlit patch of ground, and we should mean that they have suddenly reverted been videotaped and appear to come in hence expect a much higher reading. to civilized norms (see this column, various sizes from a few inches long to Carpenter also did a virtual reality September/October 1995). If anything, ten feet or more. They seem to have reconstruction of the nearby objects it means that such harassment has 2 0 March/April 2001 SKEPTICAL INQUIRER become so commonplace that it is no one of Scientology's most persistent crit- longer newsworthy. In Clearwater, ics, has been driven into personal bank- Florida, the location of one of Scien- ruptcy by the group.
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