Jack Benny Program 1946 Jan-Mar.Pdf
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I .. o,~. ... .. RUTHRAUFF & RYAN Inc. ADVERTISING RADIO DIVISION CLIENT : AMERICAN TOBACCO COMPANY RROADV*STePROGFHM #15 LUCIiY STRIIE - L .S ./M .F .T . 6, 1940 . DATE : JAN TRE JACK 9ENNY PROGRANI NETWORK PROGRAM : : N3C I OPENING NH4V YORK C~` ' 6r ~ P~ r~'1 f`° n G. ., . L4_S et :f DELMAA: THE JACK 3ENNY PROGRAM . ROYSPAEL : Quality of Preduct is essential to continuing success! RIGCB : (CHANT - SOLD AANERICAN) SIMS : Lucicy Strike means fine tok+o.cco - so round, so Pirm, so fuily pecked, so free orn9 easy on the draw! TICKER : (2 & 3, 2 N 3) RUY8I11SL : IS - MET IZ - MLT 7_ - MbT I~ELM4R : Of conrse! Ex . D) RUYSDAEL : You said it : SIMS : Lucky Strike means fine tobacco - so round, so firm, so fi11y <acked, so free and easy on the draw! BOONE : (CHANT - AMERICI,N ) THE JACK BENNY FROGRAD1 REV . QPSNING ;iIj RUY0II4II. : Year after year, at market after mnrket, independent tobacco experts, present at the auctions, can see the makrs of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy the finer, the lighter, the naturally milder Lucky - - Strike tobacco - ripe, rich tobacco - Pine Lusky Strike tobacco that means real, deep-down smoking enjoyment for you! RELIO'JiR : Pro£1t by the experience of tobacco experta . Remember - - in a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts . So smoke tT t scoke of fine tobacco - Lucky Strike : (BWITGI?OVLR TO HObL1M1d0)Ii FOR JACK BENNY PRO(`.P,AM) 1- #15 (FIR9T ROUTINF,) (AFTEY2 CCMMERCIAL, MUSIC UP AND FADF3) DON : THE LUCKY BTRIKE PROGRAM . .STARRING JACK BENNY . .WITH MARY LNINGSTOfi, PHIL HARRIS, ROCHESTER, L4RRY STEVENS, AND"YOURS TRULY" AON WILSON . (APPL4USE . .,MUSIC UP AND FADES OUT) DON: AND NOW, LADIFS AND GENTLEAQ;N, SINCE THIS IS OUR FIRST PROGRAM OF THE NEW YEAR, I'D LIKE TO HRING YOU A 6MN WHO HAS MADE TWO IM?ORPANT RESOLUPIOhS, .THE FIRST . RESOIDTION WAS TO GIVE EVERY MEMBER OF HIS CAST A RAISE . THE SECOND RESOLUTION WAS TO FORGET THE FIRST ONE . .AND HERE HE IS, JACK BENNY : (APPL4NSE) JACK : , Thank you, thank you . .Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking . .And Don, I thought that was a very unfunny introduction . DON : Oh yeah? SACK : Yeah . DONx Well I happen to think it was very funny . JACK : Well I don't care what you think . .You may not knew this, Don, but you can get new, shi :ey 1946 annou[cers without waiting for Detroit to mako up its mind . .You know I wouldn't mind having a thin announcer for a change . .I'm getting pretty sick of looking at a pot that big without flowers in it . .so fust . .Oh hello, Mary . MARY : Hello Jack, Happy New Year, Don . DON : Same to you, Mary . JACK : Ylhat about me? Aren't you going to thank me for the swe11 time I showed you New Year's Eve at the night club? -2- #15 MARY : Yeah, but next time let's not go home at eleven-thtrty . JACK : Now Mary, you know very well that we didn't get home till !daybreak . .boy, was I rarin' : MARY : (QIGGLFS) You should have seen him, Don . .Jack drank one bottle of coco cola, ,jumped up on the chandelier, beat . his chest and yelled "IAOK AT IuIE, I'M TARZAN ." JACK : Yes sir . MARY : And he'da fooled everybody if he hadn't opened his shirt . JACK : Oh yeah? Well how about that Tarzan yell I gave? MNRY : That wasn't a Tarzan yell, you set on a hot light bulb JACK : . Now Mary -- : And then he drank another bottle of. MARY coco cola . .without a chaser yet . , JACK[ Well a guy can have a little fun, can't he? . .Anywsy, I was the life o° the party . MARY : You wese nothing but a big show-off . JACK : I was not a ehow-off . MARY : Then whv did you ask the waiter to throw you out? JACK : I,just did that for a gag . .NOw Mary, you know very well we had a mervelous time, we danced all evening . MARY : , Okay, I had a msrvelous time . JACK : You'ro darn tootin' . DON : 8ay Mary, is Jack a good dancer? MARY : I don't know, it's the first time I ever did the minuet . JACK : Oh stop, will ye? . .YOU've done the minuet before . MARY : Not while the band was playing Cow Cam Boogie . JACK : Mary . .on New Years Eve you've gotta let yourself go . -. DON : Say Jack . .what did you do at the stroke of twelve? MARY : What did he do . .he said Happy New Year, took an aspirin and passed out . -3- #15 JACK : Well I wasn't out long, sister . .and Don, when I came to I went around and kissed every woman in the place . DGN: You did? JACK : Yeah . .and Mary was so jealous she tried to stop me . MAHY : I wasn't jealous . .l was only trying to tell you the place was closed and tho:e women were mopping up . JACK : Hmm . .I was wondering why they all wore up-sweep hairdo's . .Anyway, let's forget about me . .How about you, Don . did you have a good time New Years Eve? EbN : I sure did, Jack . .At the stroke of twelve I crawled out of the fireplace and filled all the stockings with toys . JACK : . Filled the stockings with toys . .On New Years Eve? . .Don, you were seven days late . DOR: I know, I got stuck in the chimney . JACK : Oh I see . .Well that's terrible, you could have fallen down and hurt yourself . DON : Yes, but I was lucky enough to catch the flu . .(GIGGLE9) JACK : Well I'm glad you . .you. .you what? . DON : I was in the chimney but I was lucky enough to catch the flu . .(GIGGLES) JACK : Ibn . .Don, I have an arrangement with Abbott and Costello . .We leave them alone and they leave us alone . So let's try and . .Well . .hello Larry, Happy New Year . LARRY : Sameto you, Jack . JACK : Did you -- Jack? . .Wny Larry, what's coma over you . .you've always called me Mr . Beney . LqgRY : Well don't you remember'? . .On New Years Eve you said I could stop calling you Mr . Benny and call you Jack . JACK : When did I .tell you that? -a-. #15 LARRY : Right after your second coke . JACK : You mean before the aspirin tablet? . .Well Larry, I still like the idea of you calling me Mr . Benny . .it adds a little dignity to the program and shows you have respect for me . MARY : Do you want me to call y>u Mr . Benny too? JACK : No, that won' t be necessary,Mary . MARY : (EMOTIONALLY) Cee, I can cell him Jack . JACK : And now, folks -- I+iARY : Wait t111 the girls at the May Company hear about this . JACK :Now wait a minute . .don't get smart, Miss Livingston . MARY : Oh do call me Marv . JACK: Now out that out . .Come on, Larry, let's have your song . (Now Mary, behave yourself, will ya?) (APPIAIZE') (IARRI'S SONG) (APPIAQBE) (ft'.C :IVD HotimINFI) -5- s'I5 JACH: iT;~at was "It's a Grand Pight Yor sun, by I ~ry Stevens, aff . very 6ood Lanry••• f~y tha way, kid, yon made a recorC of that son p:., didn't y0.,_? LAF41 : Yes I did . JAOIC : LVell it's aUq:~at number . .I'C liLm to save one of tlnan records, Lerry . IAELR'i : 6dell uJny don't you buy one, PAr . lkmoy, ._~t anly cost sevent,'y-five cents . JAC K : Wall, I thought about b.AVi:K{ ono, '_ , but you see I just wanted your song, an2 the recbrd Lae sonrething else on the other side . .so I dSdn't foel 11-~ paying for bot:i sidas . DMRY : L41ybe they'l1 s11ce it for you . JACK : No, no, T ssksC '+m . .and you shoiq ..'.ieve heard-- PHIL : ;3r'L70 IYJt4"GY, HI YA LIl/Y, AND A(7GCL 'JCCD 1,~'VC'NIN6 TO YCti MR . arxrvs . JACK: PJkiote . .yr . I3ecnyL . .Phi1, t_i:v_t? PFSL : Cno of my New Year's reeolutLone . .res~ect for the boss . I m:u7e it oo. New Yoers ive . JACK : I'dell . .tUat's aa nicc resolution . PHII. : They told me I vsde it and I'm P ;onnv, keep it : JACK : I thought so . .Phil, I never saw a„ y 7 .+1w you . .yonu keep PA1nL to partzcs but you never '^isow wlat happous . You ce.n't oven remember iP you've Iv+f . a Eoa' t :me . PPLiL :'Jackson, whon I eet up thu next n:or .in,5, brush my tootl., and the brietLes fall . out of the toot~5inish, I know I :1ad a good time' JACH : 0'n . -6- 15 P3IL : Key look . Iiow about .you, Jackson, d.id you have ftm New Yeats Eve? JACK : Yes, Phil, I want Over to the-- Y3IL : TI3AT'S Ai.L JACftBGN, IF YOU CAN .d'MkNLLSt- YOU DIDN'T ?WV :I PUN : JACK : Well I dor't rememberr all of it . .A.nd . ?hil, as lonC as you're making resolutions, you coulr: have maflq acother . one . .During, this new year why don't ;ouleare somcthinf, about '^'lsic? PHIL : You mean I shocldbc like Stokowsl :+? JACK : No, Ptii7 ., no . .All I ask is when you look at your nnxsIc standC and see a piece of paper that tas lines across it and little black dots all over it . .qon't turn to your boys and say, °TIC1,It~1'3 A SPY AROUPD'Eai' :, TI3I3 STfLR' IS IN (,`ODID' . .Little as they knaw, it ombarrasses 'em .