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Home , Bad Manners, Beat Crazy, Cartrouble, David Balfe, Draw Breath, Jill Furmanovsky

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35p October 16-29 1980

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RISTS jtDROP Explodes

LYRICS including

MINI-PINBALL MACHINES + SONY STOWAWAYS October 16-29 1980 Vol. 2 No. 21

1-2-3 The Professionals 2 TROUBLE Gillan 10 WHAT YOU'RE PROPOSING Status Quo 11 GOHA PULL MYSELF TOGETHER The Nolans 17 A WOMAN IN LOVE Barbra Streisand 17 CASANOVA Coffee 20 HISTORY OF THE WORLD PARTI The Damned 26 DOG EAT DOG Adam & The Ants 26 WHEN YOU ASK ABOUT LOVE Matchbox 33 WHY DO LOVERS BREAK EACH OTHERS HEARTS? Showaddywaddy 33

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHELSEA Elvis Costello &The Attractions 35 YOU'RE LYING Linx 38

WHEN I DREAM 38 GOODBYE CIVILIAN The Skids 47 MILES AWAY John Foxx 47 : Feature 4/5/6 : Feature 18/19 MADNESS & THE MO-DEHES: Colour Photospread 23/24/25 THE TEARDROP EXPLODES: Feature 36/37/38 KATE BUSH: Colour Poster 48 QUIZ 9 CARTOON 9 BITZ 12/13/14 20 SONY STOWAWAY COMPETITION 21 CROSSWORD 27 REVIEWS 28/29 COMPETITION 30 FACT IS 31 STAR TEASER 32 INDEPENDENT BITZ 40 PENPALS 41 BADGE OFFER 41 LETTERS 43/44 GIGZ 46

Editor Editorial Assists; Contributors Ian Cranna Bev Hiiiier Robin Katz Linda Duff Red Starr Fred Oellar Features Editor Advertiserrier5t Manager Mike Stand David Hepworth Rod Sopp Kelly Pike 1161:01-439 8801) Jill Furmanovsky Design Editor Mark Casto Steve Bush Assistant Steve Taylor Adia Hegarty

Production Editor Editoriai Corisuitant Publisher LKasper de Graaf Nicl< Logan Peter Strong

Editorial and Advertising address: Smash Hits, 52-55 Carnaby Street, WW 1PF.

This magazine is published by EIVIAP National Publications Ltd, Peterborough, and is printed by East Midland Litho Printers, Peterborough. Copyright exists on all appearing in Smash Hits. They must not be reproduced without the consent of the copyright holders.

FRONT COVER PIC: SIMON FOWIER/IFI PIC: SHEILA ROCK In today's programme, lesson one: Income = Input + Inspiration Stewart Copeland supplies the formula. David Hepworth studies it very carefully.

BRITISH system of were allowed with "Zenyatta" crossed, the second an attempt to eventually used eleven." THEcollecting income tax being which was completed with record consolidate. This time there was

what It is, an unreasonable companies and managers a big reputation to up to and IT WILL be obvious to anyone creature at best, the only member breathing heavily down the less opportunities to stand back who's studied the writing credits of The Police who can afford to band's neck. A couple of early and take a cold look at the music. on the finished that Sting remain in this country Is the only reviews have expressed the Before their four month world comes out on top. I put it to foreigner, Stewart Copeland. opinion that it shows. tour there was a feeling around Stewart that it must put a little Sting and Andy Summers have "We were still finishing the the band that nobody was finding strain on the ego when one been forced to spend the majority record and wondering about the it easy to come up with material member's songs are given the of their time across the Irish sea, running order when somebody and it was getting more difficult elbow in favour of another's. That ducking in and out of London to said 'Hang on a minute, let's to judge the strength of new can't be easy to swallow. take care of business, leaving the check the sleeve'. That was ready songs. "Well, we all know Sting's drummer to put his affable nature before we'd even finished mixing "Well, the nervousness going to have more. See, I know to good use by singlehandedly the thing. persisted right up to the morning three chords, maybe four, and promoting the release of the "We finished recording it in we finished it and we listened to I've used them in every possible band's third album, "Zenyatta Holland at four In the morning it and said 'Now wait a minute, permutation. Right now I'm Mondatta". Not that It exactly and that same afternoon we that's not bad!' worried, but then I'm always needs pushing In the usual sense. started our festival tour of "You can only get so far with worried, as to where the next The only changes that Belgium. That's how fine we cut your writing at home. The magic one's coming from. I've squeezed increasing affluence have it." happens when the other two get every last drop of my musical brought to Stewart's lifestyle, But the pressures weren't all involved. We all arrive at the know-how. apart from the fact that he can up coming from the record company studios with our songs. This time "Whereas Sting is what you'd and go more or less anywhere in and the business in general. The Sting had ten, I had five and Andy call prolific. In the hotel elevator the world without worrying first Police album was the work of had about the same. We on the way down the lobby, he unduly about the expense, are debutants with their fingers hums a tune and you look at him evident in the twenty four track out of the corner of your eye and studio recently installed in the you think 'If that was on record, basement plus the number of people all over the world would sophisticated audio and video be humming it'. devices strewn around the living "By the time we've arranged room of his modest West London them, then all three of us identify terraced house. with the tunes. I'm as proud of There's a small editing room 'Roxanne' as Sting is. It's not his; and a flash motorbike parked at it's mine too." the kerb outside but nothing that The fact that Sting writes all the you'd call showy. hits, sings lead and does things Movie making is Stewart's to the composure of the opposite current favourite pastime. The sex means that he tends to be band's massive world tour earlier singled out for special attention, this year was captured on means his words and bones are celluloid for no less than three plastered all over every available different movies; one for BBC, corner of the media. another for ITV and another for Andy has been a sideman most cinema showing later in the of his career and Stewart, as a winter. As they're all drummer, is used to sitting at the documentaries of one kind or back but that doesn't mean that they're prepared to be written off another, I enquired whether he'd ever hankered after making a as Sting's backing band. They'd proper feature film? be quite correct to point out how "Well, Sting is doing his own long and fruitlessly Sting had in obscurity films but I don't really see myself been labouring the three of them joined as a front of camera personality. I before up. Does Stewart ever get play drums pretty good and I like writing tunes and making jealous? "I wouldn't be human if there movies, but I don't yearn to be up there on the silver screen. I'm weren't times. But I suppose into shooting the stuff rather than Sting's face is our face. It's only being shot." relative. I'm really famous. I can't The next Police album, Stewart walk down the street without reckons, will be made up of getting harassed. It's only specially recorded incidental compared to Sting that I'm not music from the movie. It's to be famous, and I think I've had as hoped that they'll have more time jnuch fame as I really need." to make that album than they continues over page ^'^^m. ^

Stewart good humouredly i£i^^ recalls certain instances where fhh-1 the press have behaved as if the band was called Sting And His Policemen. But instead of getting all indignant and refusing to talk to those writers ever again, Stewart prefers to get his own back by stealth and charm, making them like and respect him ^-^ and causing them to feel guilty about dismissing him so thoughtlessly. You'll go a long way in the ''i^ music business before finding anyone who hasn't got at least one nice thing to say for The Police and much of that is down to their policy of charming the socks off their critics where most bands would resort to threats and sulks.

LAST TIME I had words with Sting, he made much of the IS importance of what he referred to I as "input", keeping a hold of "observe" human misery on a reality and not allowing scale unknown in Europe and increasing fame and wealth to America. It must have been someone has seen it close up and distract you from writing songs sobering for them, jetting into decided there's nothing he can didn't really build an ivory tower; about the kind of life that plain Bombay like the carefree, affluent do about it doesn't make him any it's just kind of grown up around _fo!ks recognise. Does Stewart pop stars they are and coming wronger than the rest of us. me." reckon "Zenyatta" succeeds on into a culture where the average He thinks for a moment.

those terms? family's weekly income would ROCK STARS are often conveyed "Still, I bought this house, so I

"We've been forced into a kind barely cover the cost of a new around the world in air suppose I built it. It's the kind of of position in which the things bass string. conditioned bubbles of luxury, house that anyone could buy if that we would write about on the Whatever, a like "Driven their contact with the real world they had the money, but in a way

first two , basically The To Tears" is obviously the kept to an absolute minimum. I wonder if I've sterilised myself. I Young Male Hanging Out In product of a restless conscience. It says a lot for The Police's don't think you have to starve, London stuff, no longer apply. Playing pop songs in that determination not to become like but sometimes when I'm sitting

We could identify with the people environment must have seemed that that they are so often seen here, wringing my guitar neck, I around us and write songs about extra futile. mingling with the audiences at all wonder if that's the problem." ourselves that pretty much "Yes, but you have to realise manner of gigs. The night before applied to other people. But, that all that was there before you we met, Stewart had been HAVING SPENT the best part of through no design of our own, got there and when you leave it's checking out Gary Numan at two years living in each other's

we don't lead normal lives still gonna be there and, even if I London's Hammersmith Odeon. pockets, Andy, Sting and Stewart anymore. spent my entire time there trying The next night he was spotted at have started to pick up the lives. "The life that I lead, that gives to do something about it, I would an Associates gig in a tiny hall in threads of their private With me inspiration to write songs is, accomplish nothing. the north of the city. Sting living in Ireland and hoping well, a house like this, airplanes "You're touched by it and you However, the fact that The to advance his film career, it

and hotel rooms. All of which is have to close yourself off from it. Police are Famous People means wouldn't be surprising to find not even slightly relevant to the You see a starving person come that their encounters with that the relationships within the people who buy our records. And up to you and you can see their Normal People will always be in band have changed.

so we have to look outside of our ribs; you see kids with their arms some sense artificial. This isn't "Sting and I have always been own lives at the world. cut off so they'll make more lost on Stewart. pretty honest with each other.

"And we're not a political effective beggars, and all that can "I've been trying to write tunes Andy and I know all about the group; we're not into political make your heart turn over inside. and I'm thinking 'Damn, I'm not film parts that he's been up for sloganising, but when you start "But the whole country's like hungry anymore!' My life is that he hasn't been offered yet, looking at the world it starts to that and you have to say 'this is a cushioned, things are too easy which he'd never tell anyone else

get that way. We're not trying to different world . . . I'm watching for me to feel anything strongly about. I've never discouraged " push an ideology. Just make television.' enough to put a sincere emotion him from doing anything that observations." All of which may sound callous into a song. might be a danger to the group.

The band's world tour, but is in fact no different from the "Sometimes I think I'll have to "The relationship will only be particularly the leg that took in attitude that we all take to hitchhike to Greece or something as good and profitable for as long

the Far Eastern countries, gave poverty in the Third World. We all so I can get back to the real world as each of us is getting what he

them plenty of opportunities to know it's there; just because and fall out of my ivory tower. I wants." OCTOBER 15 APOLLO 16 TIFFANY'S 17 CARLISLE MARKET HALL 20 BELFAST USHER HALL 21 STADIUM 25 GALWAY LEISURE CENTRE 26 BOURNEMOUTH WINTER GARDENS 27 LONDON HAMMERSMITH PALAIS 28 LONDON HAMMERSMITH PALAIS 50 LONDON MUSIC MACHINE NOVEMBER 2 BRADFORD ST GEORGE'S HALL 7 BIRMINGHAM ODEON 4 BLACKBURN KING GEORGE'S HALL

TH^N^WA^k^^^M

A^ < o On A&M Records & Cassettes 8 . .

THE SMASH HITS 'O' LEVEL ""?'"•** *"' The College Of Musical Knowledge. The following e, -f »T"' questions are designed to test the extent to which the ""•' '"'^•'^•^ ' "^1."-"^***^. *•"• "'•^** •"»"«»* «* "«'••• formation imntedln these^es oCtt^e tast year.?I^*^ MarksmI^u will be deducted for '•^IT"'"* untidy presentation. You have a week to complete the paper starting NOW 1 PiL guitarist Keith Levine used to be a member of which 15. What label did pexy's first single, "Dance Stance", appear celebrated new wave band? on? 16. Name the film in which Debbie Harry plays a New Jersey 2. The first record under the name of was a 'B' side. housewife. What was the 'A' side? 17. What do the following records have in common? "New Rose" 3. Andy Summers did NOTplay guitar with one of the following by The Damned, "Watching The Detectives" by Elvis Costello outfits. Which one? a) Zoot Money's Big Roll Band; b) Kevin and "Stop Your Sobbing" by The Pretenders. Ayers Band; c) Geno Washington's Ram Jam Band; d) Soft 18. Gary Numan contributed two songs to Machine. whose latest album? 19. Adrian, Phil, Ian and Martyn make up which electronic band? 4. Which band wrote and produced "Diana", the current Diana 20. "Shall I mourn your decline with some Ross album? thunderbird wine and a black handkerchief" is a line from one of the finest rock lyrics 5. Secret Affair's Ian Page and Dave Cairns used to play with ever written. Who wrote them and who were they referring to? which band? a) The Young Hearts; b) The New Hearts; c) Heart. 21 Who is John Ravenscroft better known as? 6. Which acts founded the following labels? a) Rocket; b) Apple; 22. From which city do alt the following bands come? The c) Go Feet. Distractions, and lOcc? 7. Who wrote the songs on Meat Loaf's "Bat Out Of Hell" album? 23. Which cities are the following labels based in? a) Fast Product; 8. In addition to playing with The Blockheads, has b) Factory; c) Zoo; d) Postcard. his own band. What is their name? 24. Who sings with Sector 277 9. The 'B' side of the second Skids single referred to characters 25. Which member of The Pink Floyd helped Kate Bush get a start from which TV series? in the music business? 10- He's been in Slik and The Rich Kids. Which band does he play 26. Genesis were formed at which famous public school? for now? 27. Classix Nouveaux sprang from the ashes of which new wave 11. Only one female singer has ever had two records in the British band? Top Ten simultaneously. Who is she? 28. Their first album was titled "Shades Of A Blue Orphanage". 12. A member of contribued to David Bowie's "Scary Who are they? Monsters". Which one? 29. Which of the following bands is NOT Canadian? a) Martha And 13. Give the titles of 's first two albums. The Muffins; b) Rush; c) Cheap Trick. 14, His real name is Eddie and he was featured in "The Great Rock And finally, a genuine hand-tooled stinker . . . And Roll Swindle". What is his band called? 30. What is the link between The Tourists and ?

Now, without cheating, tot up your score and see how you rate. 30: How long have you been in The Tourists? 2S-30: Very good indeed! Cheat. 20-25: Nobody loves a clever dick, you know. 15-20: Better than a poke in the eye. 10-15: Not better than a poke in the eye. 5-10: A job on "Fun , Factory" could be yours' -^mm 0-5: Tsk Tsk. You haven't been reading this magazine long, have ^^

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TROUBLE on

If you're looking for trouble You came to the right place If you're looking for trouble ">Uu,..„.iii»..ku«talih,„„„ Just look right in my face

I was born standing up and talking back My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack

'Cause I'm evil '"XilimuinM"'" My middle name is misery

I said I'm evil So don't you mess around with me

I don't look for trouble

But I never ran

I don't take no warnings From no kind of man I'm only made out of Flesh, blood and bone If you want to start a rumble Don't you try it all alone

'Cause I'm evil My middle name is misery

I said I'm evil So don't you mess around with me

If you're looking for trouble You came to the right place If you're looking for trouble Just look right in my face

I was born standing up and talking back My daddy was a green-eyed mountain jack

'Cause I'm evil My middle name is misery

I said I'm evil So don't you mess around with me Springsteen New Bruce Oh my soul evil featuring 20 tracks '^^^ '^'^^^' ^^^ ^^^^^ I said I'm (includes the forthcoming single So don't you mess around with me at a specially available 'Hungry Heart') also Words and music by Leiber/Stoller reduced price on cassette 40/8851 pT^ Reproduced by permission Carlin Music Corp. 'til December 31st. 10 What You're Proposing

, By Status Quo on Vertigo Records

It sounds so nice What you're proposing Just once or twice And not disclosing And not disclosing How we're really, really feeling What you're proposing

The other night

As I was leaving

I looks left and right And not believing And not believing That I'm finally believing What you're proposing

I'll get It right If I'm composing

But then I might Be runny nosing

I might be runny Runny, runny, runny nosing But you're supposing

Don't be sure And just supposing We yell for more And compromising And compromising Leads to really, really feeling And just supposing

Don't get me wrong I'm only dreaming It can't be long

I must be dreaming

I must be dreaming Dreaming only, only dreaming

Am I just supposing?

Repeat verses 1 and 2

And not believing That I'm finally believing What you're proposing And not believing That I'm finally believing What you're proposing What you're proposing Repeat to fade

Words and music by Rossi/Frost Reproduced by permission Dump Music Ltd. /Eaton Music Ltd. DANCE CRAZY

"DANCE CRAZE" is the title of a film currently being completed which features all the leading light of the movement. , Selecter, , Madness, The Beat and the IN ADDITION to his three Bodysnatchers. National release previously announced shows at is scheduled for December. London's Dominion Theatre, Robert Palmer will also be CASUALTY THE TRIBE playing The Rainbow on November 6th. CORNER THAT HIDES IaVID grant and Sketch, the two West Indian-born prou. who've FROM MAN — and musicians who make up Linx, didn't have an easy time just finished touring Europe — MESSRS LYDON and Levine, the getting a fair hearing for their first single, "You're Lying". had to malce the journey with old two remaining directors of the There's a good deal of snobbery surrounding the matter of funk Derry friend Keiron McLaughlin PIL corporation are spending and a great deal of prejudice against the British variety; unable to deputising for drummer time in the studio knocking interest the powers that be in their music, Linx financed a private Billy Docherty. It seems Billy was together noises for a third album. pressing of 1000 copies, put them in the hands of a specialist shop on his way to hospital for a check With drummer Martin Atkins and and ran round the radio stations and drumming up some up on his gallstones when his bassist having been enthusiasm for their own record. bike came off second best in an dismissed from the band, Levine Reaction was favourable and immediate. The initial pressing sold argument with a car, leaving our is currently handling all out overnight and Chrysalis Records came in, put the weight of Bill with a broken arm. instruments leaving Lydon to their distribution network behind it and gave Linx their first chart In fact The Undertones seem to take care of wailing and moaning. record. Together with drummer Andy Duncan and keyboards man have been in the wars generally The Fly The Studio Wall On Bob Carter, Grant (vocals) and Sketch (bassist) are currently of late. Dee is currently sporting reckons it's all little "tribal" a preparing themselves for a series of live appearances. an eye-patch after nearly blinding sounding. himself with a contact lens, while Feargal is said to be suffering THE MOONDOGS, the Derry completed in from what we doctors call "a THE INQUEST on Malcolm Owen a two week period finally place other band who made such a big hit on and then THESTMYCATS. fluttering heart". Take it easy lads took the week O'CONNOR And Megahype remain on the road for tha disappeared L,fttorfght Briani the Undertones tour, have with the — we don't want you joining the and the conclusion reached was month of Novambar to promota thair naw alngla, "Giva Ma An master tapes, suffered a bit A FEW months back The Stray that he died of heroin addiction. of late trying to get demanding payment up front. Cats arrived in Britain from New immortals JustyeV. Inch". York, their first single out. Some bright Real, penniless and completely unknown on either side of the Datas ara Balfast Ulstar Hall (14), Dublin Grand Cinama (16). however, were not spark at their label (Real) pond. Just two weeks ago they celebrated thought impressed — least of all with the the signing of a major Cardiff Top Rank (18), Manchaatar Apollo (19), Shafflald UnivaraHy contract it would be a good idea to team with by grabbing the much sought (21), Lancaster University (22), Colston Hall (23), Brighton quality of the recording — and after QUEEN ARENA the boys support slot on Eh^is Costello's up with the man who promptly ordered a new session big Rainbow show. Top Rank (26). Birmingham Odaon (27). University (28), In the produced most of the Rolling with new few weeks in between they'd graduated from sleeping THE INTERNATIONAL Arena at Edinburgh Odeon (29), Newcastle City Hall (December 1), Leicester producers! on Stones hits of the the floor of their publicist's office in '60s, Andrew We hear all differences have Soho to becoming the dariings Birmingham's National De Montfort (2), Leeda University (3) and Norwich University (4). of the Loog Oldham. London dub circuit and the objects of ludicrous offers Exhibition Centre, the first now been resolved and the single from But things didn't work out as most major record companies. purpose built rock venue in (the new version!) of "Who's JOE has penned the planned. Only two of Why? Well, their brand of souped STRUMMER the Gonna Tell Mary?" is now up rockablllf and distinctive Britain, opens for business on visual style sleeve notes for a fine projected six tracks were available. (quiffs that keep the rain off) was seized upon by December 5th and 6th with two certain compilation of material by New sections of the music press and touted as the next big shows featuring Queen. thing; Orleans soul maestro Lee Dorsey also, it seemed that every big name in town, from Mick 4 Constructed at a cost of which has just appeared on Jagger to The Specials, was saying flattering things about them. £8,500,000, the arena seats Their Charly Records. Since his heyday problem now is how to live up to ail this premature 1 1 ,000 and was designed to in the Sixties, when he was rarely publicity. They've been built up so much that people are queuing provide a good view from seats up to out of the British chart, Lee has knock them down a peg or two. Also, their credibility wasn't in all parts of the hall. The Centre helped been devoting most of his time to any by ringing up Chariy Records, the vintage is served by Birmingham running car repair "** asking for a whole lorryload his body shop. feSSSS. .I"***'' of old rock 'n' roll International Railway Station, »«>«» to listen , however, enticed him to before going into the studio to record their first just a few minutes from the out of semi retirement to support centre of Birmingham. them on their last American tour. Queen follow their Called "Gonh By Funky" this Birmingham stint with HOT three tremendous dance album POSTAL nights at London's Wembley contains such odd nuggets as COFFEE 3D STEWART is se! to tour Arena on December 8th, 9th "Ya Ya", "Working In The Coal *ain in late November and and 10th. Tickets for London WE KNOW it's traditional Mine", "Holy Cow", and "Ride OLDIES for cember and he wilt be playing cost £6.00, £5.00 and £4.00 while American disco outfits to keep Your Pony" and is recommended ^ew medium sized venues. the Birmingham shows are TROJAN RECORDS, the label that quiet about their without reservation. personal lives itarting at Glasgow Apollo on priced at £5.50 and £5.00. They're boasts the most comprehensive but either Another anthology album the ladies of Coffee Dvember 24th, 25th and 26th, available by post from Queen, catalogue of early ska and come from completely which recently appeared in the reggae, is I carries on with Leicester GP Productions, PO Box 4TL, setting up a mail order nondescript backgrounds or they shops is "The Unobtainable T. club, it brings together on one anby Hall (28, 29), Wembley London 4TL. Send postal division to distribute copies of must have W1A of 'B' sides something to be Rex", a title which explains it all. album a number from their rena (December 1, 2, 3), orders enclosing a booking fee of some of vintage recordings. ashamed of. Put the years just prior to Bolan's All we know about together by EMI after Albums by artists Manchester Apollo (9, 10, 11 ) and 25p for each ticket, marking the like The Leonora Dee Bryant, pressure fan tragic death. Glenda winds at from the Marc Bolan Pioneers, Maytals, Jackie up Sirmingham back of the envelope either Hester and Elaine Sims is that Exhibition Edwards and Ken Boothe will Centre Arena on the 13th. "Wembley" or "Birmingham" they formed Coffee in Chicago >TOM PETERSEN has left Cheap Trick just before the release of their shortly A new aSbum, entitled "Foolish and stating which date is be made available for and that their role current single, new George Martin-produced album "All Shook Up". His as £3.25 plus postage and packing. Behaviour", his first for two required. Enclose a stamped "Casanova" is drawn from a bass player has been filled by Peter Comita, a previously unknown Enthusiasts can contact ia.^^^^i^?,«5S«l,at the end addressed envelope and allow Trojan at debut album called "Slippin' And musician^ 326 Kensal Road, three weeks for delivery. London W10 Dippin" — hardly the stuff of 5BL. legends, is it now? 12 13 TREBLE MONSTER HIT HAVE "THE ELEPHANT Man" has been jamming the switchboard opened in New York to rave again with news of their debut reviews from the notoriously album which is due for release in hard to please Broadway theatre December. critics. If the reaction of the press They're hoping it will be a is anything to go by, David Bowie treble set retailing at £5.99 will be in great demand for future (subject to record company productions and will be approval) with one side of cover encouraged to stay with the show versions, one of "ditties", one for a long run. Baby Greensleeves solo set, two I WAS A PUNK BEFORE YOU WERE A PUNK DEPT: Who's this lot then? The Luton Branch of HAR*? The Moody sides of Splodgenessabounds and a final side which is described Blues? The Watford defence? Nope. Try zeroing in on the character "ALL TIME TO^ TEN front centre. His name's Dennis Leigh though you may know him as "the manifesto of the pathetic movement". Promotional plans better as John Foxx and the five of them used to work as Tiger Lily include giving away a free plastic before it was decided that a name like was nearer the mark. Christmas tree with each album. A major Splodge tour will But before they could change their image entirely. Tiger Lily be mounted made one single called "Monkey Jive"/"Ain't Misbehavin'" which between the end of October and Christmas. In appeared briefly on the Gull label in 1975. This rare item of case any fans have trouble finding memorabilia is now once again available through the offices of out details, they're advised Dead Good Records, 292/3 High St., Lincoln. to keep their eyes open for posters Lest it be thought that we're picking on Ultravox, we are advertising despatching spies to root through the archives for any similarly "The Plenty Of Time To Wallow In Liver embarrassing pictures of modern heroes and heroines. Check your The Sausage (Teardrop Explodes) Within The Absolute family albums, rock stars. Have you got pictures that ought to be Lowest destroyed? Depths Of Malcolm's Mum's 1) PERE UBU: The Modern * Hairdressers Against Racism. Pathetic Whiffy Fishnet Tights Dance (Blank). Industrial, Tourd." , schmindustrial. ^ |2) SCO'IT WALKER: WM Jackie/Mathilde (Philips). ™ " And The albums. "Oh God, it's so big I" 3) THE DOORS: The ^.-i Invisible Girls". The "Girls" are of Pauline stuck with bass player When course boys, the Mancunian Robert Blamire and manager Music's Over (Elektra). "We musicians who have helped out John Arnison, who left a steady want the world and we want on 's albums job with Status Quo to see things now." and out on the road backing both through, and formed the Illusive tit4) THE FALL: Stepping Out Pauline and John. label, recording the album before (Rough Trade). Wyearold postman seeks ,. Pauline first ran into John looking for a distribution deal. mushroom when Penetration played an early That's how, to everybody's experience. gig at Manchester's Electric surprise, they find themselves 5) TIM BUCKLEY: Sweet Circus back in '77. doing business with the Surrender (Warner Bros). "We were waiting to play when extremely wealthy RSO label. Total, soulful, God-like this loony bloke went on and The album was produced by genius. jabbered away and threw tins of , famed for his 6) ARMAND SCHAUBROEUK: King Of The Streets (Mirror). spaghetti and baked beans all work with , Magazine *^:tv Abusive, elusive, and totally over himself on the stage. It was and The , and an wired. so slippery we were sliding all choice to handle the move away over the place when we got on." from guitars towards keyboard |7) WALKER BROTHERS: The Torture in. Mercifully, the bard of dominated electronics. Electrician (GTO). has cleaned up his act since then. Though he came up with a South America. 8) LOVE: Alone Again Or Born in the hamlet of marvellous sound, perhaps he 1 (Elektra). The only love song*i Waterhouses in , hasn't given the full exposure to that it all — dreamy, ^ Pauline grew up along with the Pauline's vocal power and says dreamy. other original Penetrations in the emotion; maybe he's saving all DR. JOHN: Walk On Gilded PENETRATION FANS can come pit village of . Possibly it that for next time. But for now Splinters (Atlantic). Jesus out of mourning at last. Pauline was the extreme contrast Pauline is showing she has the was a fake — this is the proof. Murray is back In fine shape. between their home life and the abilities to go with her BEEFHEART: Following her mini-hit "Dream rock life that contributed to their independent nature. She will be CAPTAIN My Sequence", she's just released a break up despite the respectable heard. Head Is My Only House Until It Rains (Reprise). A love fine album under the title success of two Top Thirty /W/Tre Stand. affair without an ego flyii 14 EXPLODESAT£3^9l

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K 58201 uuea Woman In Love By Barbra Streisand on CBS Records

Life is a moment in space When the dream is gone It's a lonelier place

I kiss the morning goodbye But down inside you know we never know why

The road is narrow and long When eyes meet eyes And the feeling is strong

I turn away from the wall

I stumble fall I and but give you it all i Chorus

I am a woman in love And I'd do anything To get you into my world And hold you within

It's a right I defend Over and over again

What do I do? il With you eternally mine In love there is no measure of time We planned it all at the start ?^ *-M That you and I live in each other's heart

We may be oceans away "V You feel my love

I hear what you say No truth is ever a lie

I stumble and fall but I give you it all

Repeat chorus

I am a woman in love And I'm talking to you

You know I know how you feel What a woman can do

It's a right I defend Over and over again

Repeat chorus to fade Gotta Pull Words and music by B. Gibb/R. Gibb. My Self Reproduced by permission RSO Publishing Ltd./Chappell Music Ltd. Together By The Nolans on

Novv that I know, why did I doubt ya?

imagination . I wasw«7kthe '^f^/""'- fool, felt the temptation '*°"'* 'r„. ' ^°" see me cry Cos ,t s no good since you said goodbye Chorus AndA J . now "oney I gotta stop, gotta start picking up'^ Gotta pull myself together

.'was so sure it -. wouldn't upset me

I lost control, out for sensation I mm the cold, sad situation I treed hard not to say It hurts so bad since you went away

Repeat chorus

Baby, I want ya Baby, I need ya '^o" won't see -r-,,-.. me cry Cos It s no good since you said goodbye

f^epeat chorus to fade

""""'"^ Findon/Myers/Puzey. ReproducedReDrndurin'^Hby permission Black Sheep MuJcLtd AND TRISULATIONS OF TOURISM It's not fair, say The Tourists. don't see that in Peet's songs and just think that he's being obscure What Isn't? says Mark Ellen. or not saying anything in particular, but in actual fact — Smile please, says Stuart Franklin. from where I'm standing — I can see it all mapped out perfectly." THE TOURISTS are in Bristol, they're also It may be clear to you, but is it any wonder incensed. To an outsider, this might seem a that people get confused or misled when you little perplexing. write about such vague subjects as "The A near-packed Colston Hall, a flamboyant Useless Duration Of Time"? new stage show with film clips, cartoon "Well, that's a very strong statement," back-drops and a green-haired dancer, three counters Annie. "It's saying that time is a encores and an armful of autographs to sign measurement by which we have to lead our afterwards . . . and yet they sf///fiercely insist lives. Everyone should think about it more that "nobody likes us!" 'cos we're just hurtling towards So how — you might be wondering — did oblivion." Isn't that obvious? Do we /leed reminding this line of confrontation arrive? Peet of things like this? Coombes, the Tourists' main tune and lyric "But you're contradicting yourself," Annie muse, supplies the answer in the form of a backhands the question. (It's getting a little cassette tape made just prior to the current like verbal tennis at this "Luminous Tour", point.) "First you say we're 'vague' and now you say we're calls it "a collage", Dave 'obvious'." Stewart calls it "brilliant" — "it" being the The ideas are simple enough, I concede — partly unlistenable marriage of all manner of it's just that they're obscured by all this weird noises spliced, double-tracked and flowery imagery. over-lapped together. Peet's dog barking, his "In essence," Annie explains, "what we're children talking, bits of traffic sound, radio, saying is that you can take from our T.V., records. songs whatever you relate to and that's as far as a Believe me, at the thin end of three in the song can possibly hope to go. We don't set morning in a Bristol hotel room, it sounds ourselves up to say definitely what we're about. We're just giving people a few points Underground and a very bad dream, played roundabout backwards. and then letting them see what they can draw from it." What it doesn't sound even remofeZ/like is "Blind Chin Among The Flowers" or any other of CONFUSING? WELL, for my money it Eddie the Tourists' typically air-brushed but certainly adds fuel to the argument that The seductive pop chorales. As Annie and Dave Tourists are — essentially — just a very pressurised by people asking questions are at pains to point out, there are many traditional mid-'60s pop group. They recall about them, fall into the trap of taking more sides to this group than usually "When it says that meet we're just a bunch of the era prior to the onset of the more themselves too seriously. Very mid-'60s. the ear. twats who go onstage like pantomime meaningfully obscure groups like The Byrds So mid-'60s, in fact, that you sometimes So much so that when they first heard horses and don't have a clue what we're (whose close honeyed harmonies you hear wonder if the whole '76/'77 punk boom Peet's tape they sprung a scheme (sadly, singing about, and that we do a ringing through the new "Luminous didn't pass them by altogether. Which, in never put into motion) of sending this slice "bastardization" of a song, Basement" album, as they did through the turn, makes them difficult to categorise. of aural jigsaw to , claiming it to be then it's very irritating and very, very hurtful. last two). Annie agrees: "Well, in the '60s there the work of The Spheres Of Celestial "I mean, Madness get marvellous critical The Tourists are idealistic, they're wasn't this sort of 'oversight'. People weren't Influence (which, it so happens, was one of acclaim and front cover stories for doing optimistic, they're obsessed with style and saying 'What are you on about?' all the the original band's names, "just to confuse Tiswas and when ivewent on Tiswas — to a lesser extent — glamour. They write time." people"). months ago we got put down for it. People it songs because they enjoy and, when Should the same values as applied in the always write nasty things about us." '60s be applied to The Tourists? Perhaps you don't offer them a clear "Yes, because those are the same values enough idea of what your songs are about? that motivate the songs." It's Dave s turn to put the record straight. ^""'e Lennox "You say our lyrics are very '60s," adds "What we're talking about is, like, human Dave, "but really they're timeless." "It'd be great," Annie enthuses, "just 'cos politics, personal politics. We're singing Peet too, if pushed, will admit cautiously it about things from would be interesting to show that a group the inside — like the that he has "a great passion" forthe could have more than face stage groups from the '60s — because the inside is one on and mid-'60s music writers (though he's not results where all the is on record, and yet — behind that — have The are certainly interesting, even change going to come from. saying which). another, completely different one. if hardly conclusive proof that the don't Obviously you can't We band change the system by "I do actually like that period the best but I wouldn't have done it for the sake of baffling entertain rather humourless ideas that tower marching up Pall Mall with a banner. don't try and create in The Tourists a '60s people, just because there are different above a relatively simple musical format, or Changing from the inside is a long-term band." facets of the group and all the people in it. that they have the most direct means of process, but it works." When I ask him what he does try and "People think just because we did a Dusty explaining them. What exactly would you want to change? create, I get that sinking feeling that the Springfield song ("I Only Wanna Be With One thing's certain though: when a band "Indoctrination into people," Dave conversation's wandered round the room for You"), that's an end in itself, y'know — stick titles their first headline package "The Last answers. "We'd like people to think for a couple of hours and finished up right back

on a label, categorise. They seem to think Laugh Tour" (afterthe second album's themselves again. I like the fact that our where it started, which was Dave talking we're just a bunch of stupid thickos who're embittered chant "He Who Laughs Last audience contains a lot of people don't who about the '60s ideal of "human politics". only in it for the money! Laughs Longest) — because "everybody was seem to fit in anywhere or conform to "What I try to create," Peet claims "There's a great deal behind this group," saying that we've got no relevance — this is anything in particular. You go to London distractedly, "is a loving feeling rather than a she adds, fixing your reporter with steely to prove that we have!" — it would seem gigs and there's all these people in a their negative 'hate', uptight experience. That's glare, "and a great deal to be found out that their resentment of their continual matching leather jackets. It's sickening. It's my personal philosophy behind it." about this group. But nobody in the Press panning by the Press seems to be getting a like capitalism at its worst, like maggots As I wander off looking for my hotel room, ever gives us the chancel" little out of proportion. wriggling around a dying corpse. I wonder if all this doesn't detract from what If their audience is plainly made up of "Now they can relate to Peet's lyrics — at face value — The Tourists are all about. SO THUS ensues the following conversation. people who don't accept the music critics because — basically — Peet writes about one See them onstage and you get more than Annie tends to dominate the proceedings (and the band claim they've disassociated thing all the time — and that is Truth as he your money's-worth; finely-crafted with much passion and a Scots brogue so themselves from the sees it — but he writes about it in pop weeklies anyway) many melodies, persuasive dance rhythms, thick you could repair walls with it. The then, frankly, why worry? different ways. He is mirroring reality." delivered — as always — with a rousing dose amiable, more even-keeled Dave lends solid it's "How?" Annie takes "Because bloody unfair!" comes up the lead. "By not of enthusiasm. Any complaints? support, the docile Peet proves he's more Annie's rapid reply. "And because having trying to crystalise it into something that's As Annie so powerfully puts it: "If articulate on the lyric-sheet, and yours truly bad press all the time limits our audience. merely black and white. He encompasses the someone has the guts to stand upon stage chucks the odd comment or question into really are affected contradiction and the confusion Audiences by what they that exists and try and communicate with people, I think the bull-ring within truth. Jim Toomey and stands back to keep the read. Now a lot of people, maybe. that's bloody marvellous!" Dave Stewart »

captures their sound at its best. I baby's 26, on a scale of 1 to 10" never cease to be amazed by the (yuk). I know disco music is quivering vocals of Russell primarily for dancing to, but this Thompkins Jnr — he must buy is pushing things too far. his trousers at least two sizes too By the time you read this Just for a change I thought I'd are The O'Jays with "The Year small. There's certainly some 's "Love X Love" start by mentioning a few new 2000" (TSOP). Despite being material in the class of "You (WEA) will probably be firmly albums that are around. responsible for "Used Ta Be Feel My Make Me Brand New", plus a rooted in the top 20. It's taken First up is the new one by Rick Girl" which was one of my all great selection of fast danceable from the hit album "Give Me The James which is in the shops now. time faves, there's really not a lot numbers. The standard Night" which is also a worthwhile It's called "Garden Of Love" that I can recommend about this throughout is well above purchase. For jazz-funk (Motown) and contains six tracks their latest effort. Although average, and if you liked them the enthusiasts (or hairdressers), including his recent hit single they've employed a vast array of first time round, then you're sure Deodata weigh in with a double "Big Time". Of the other five, producers, arrangers and session to find this one a winner. 'A' single which consists of two "Mary-Go-Round" seems the musicians, the end result is very The best album that's come to instrumentals "Love Magic" and most commercial, being much run of mill. the It's not my attention this week is "Night Cruiser" (WEA), with the somewhat similar to "Big Time". particularly bad but on the other "Triumph" by the Jacksons but I latter being the best bet. The rest are, as we say in the hand it's not particularly good. won't start raving about it here as Finally, The S.O.S. Band return business, just fillers. With albums So unless you spot it in the it's reviewed elsewhere in this with "S.O.S." (Tabu) and the best now costing nearly a fiver your bargain rack, I'd give it a miss. issue. I can say about this record is that best bet would be to hang on Two house-points though go to Treading boldly onto the if you place it in a hot oven at gas until "Mary-Go-Round" becomes The Stylistics with their latest singles this which week are few mark 5 for 1 5 minutes it should available as a single. Not a offering "Hurry Up This Way and far between, we find Chic make a wonderful ash-tray (bitch, treemendous (chuckle, chuckle) Again" (TSOP). "26" They've with their new 45, (WEA) bitch). I'm off now, as my album. re-emerged after what seems a which boasts some of the worst ashtrays are nearly done. Next in line forthe guillotine long lay off with an album that lyrics I've ever heard eg. "My Beverly.

TWO THIS WEEKS WEEKAGO

UBEL BPMj de-ute' 126 I chrysalis

CAHRERE J24I ENSIGN MOTOWN Casanova ~}E\ MOTOWN WEA Coffee on De-Lite Records J26j WARNER BRn.<; ml Hey boy, they call you Casanova SOUR ml Well, later baby, your playing days are over WARNER BRn.'i i^ You play no more on this town WARNER BRn.!!

Cos I am gonna shoot you down MOTOWN nol Hey Casanova, your playing days are over MEBCURV jmJ Casanova, your playing days are over RCA JloJ EMI 108 Chorus I ISLAND REG) It's all over, Casanova, it's all over, Casanova ENSIGN It's all over, Casanova, it's all over .102 I MOTOWN It's all over, Casanova, it's all over, Casanova JlEl EMI It's all over, Casanova, it's all over not FUMINGO ARISTA Hey boy, they say that you're contrary 119 I Cos you think your love is extraordinary OJM 1201 But I'm gonna show you what I'm worth (I'm gonna show you what I'm worth)

And bring you down to earth Hey Casanova, your playing days are over (they're over, they're over) Casanova, your playing days are over Repeat chorus

Casanova, your playing days are over (they're over, they're over) Casanova, your playing days are over You play no more around this town (You play no more around this town) 'Cos I am gonna shoot you down I'm gonna show you what I'm worth I'll bring you down to earth

Repeat chorus to fade

Words and music by J. Armstead/M. Middlebrook. Reproduced by permission Planetary Nom Ltd. \ [77 T A SONY The htest single, • \VhV7h^'

"lAKIN' / ACHANCE WHAT DO you reckon that device To get your mitts on this was that Robert Palmer had desirable piece of hardware, round his neck on the back cover here's what you do. Check out the of the last issue? A stethoscope? song extracts which are listed A python on a diet? A wig below; each one is the opening stabiliser? No, you're all wrong. ONYOU" line of a current or recent hit The man was modelling the very which has appeared in these latest item in the portable hi-fi pages. We want you to supply us line, a Sony Stowaway, a tiny with the full title of the songs Picture Disc cassette player which is light and involved. Then, after careful On compact to slip enough into the consideration, complete the average pocket. So what's special sentence at the end using not about that, we hear you chorus. more than twenty words (marks Well, pipe down and you'll find will be given for originality and out. humour). ONLY The Stowaway (as any fule kno) has a coreless servo-controlled Then post the form off to motor which means that when Smash Hits Stowaway £M5 you put on those light as a Competition, 14 Holkham Road, feather headphones (included), Orton Southgate, Peterborough what you hear is the finest quality PE2 OUF to arrive before October reproduction, as good as, if not 30th. The sender of the entry better than, the average home which the judges consider best hi-fi. Stow the machine in an will receive the Sony Stowaway. inside pocket, slip on the 'phones The fifty runners-up will be able and you can while away boring to console themselves with a bus journeys without disturbing copy of the brand new Status yourfellow passengers, basking Quo album, "Just Supposin'". in the full glory of your favourite Now a little less noise and a little album in full teeth-rattling stereo. more application . . .

A) ." "Some expression in your eyes . . B) "Hit the town in the cold of the night .. ' C) "What's the matter with ." the clothes I'm wearing . . D) "Four o'clock I've ." been walking all night . . E) "It's not important for you to know my name ..." > F) "I ." wake up every morning . . G) Complete the following sentence using not more than twenty words. "Now look here. Smash Hits — I'm really desperate for this Sony it ." Stowaway because will enable me to . . SONY STOWAWAY , COMPETITION

^^

ALSO AVAILABLE ON BLACK VINYLWITH PiaURE SLEEVE

Uiea K18353(P)

Smash Hits (Slide Show Division) proudly presents

ts and mellow fruitfulness, the time of the year when the nights begin to draw In and young folks gather together with their friends to practise the ancient rites of The Party. Uncork a few bottles of fizzy liquid, dole out the funny hats and streamers, stick some rousing noise on the phonograph, and after a short interval, deep silliness will set in. Such was the case at any rate when Madness and The Mo-dettes celebrated the completion of work on their ATV Special performance at Nottingham's Theatre Royal with a right royal knees-up. Much funny pop was gargled, a number of dances were introduced and, when it was all over, the Smash Hits photographer had trifle all over his aperture and Lee Thompson had disappeared altogether.

Cameraman: Mike Laye Scriptwriter: David Hepworth

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I've just hit the ground

Boy, have I arrived! Tell the dinosaurs they just won't survive

So I fell and you just laughed

You think that I can't stand To see me trip this way, you think I'm second hand

'have seen it all ^.''estheonlvoo- gs to me, I'

Adam Chance and Zorro Take them with a pinch of salt Sad about tomorrow Sorry but it's not my fault While they were shooting at the moon Somebody croaked anJ no one heard But what's a sin or two in the history of the world?

Someone said to me

-^^^°^-"----"---.ddecibe.s Leave it to tomorrow Corporal Clott and Stalingrad They're the ones to follow They're the ones that make me glad Nobody alive and no one left Nobody cares or ain't you heard? of the world Looks like I'll take my dying breath in the history

History of the world The world

^°'^s^nd music by Senslble/Scabies/Vanian/Gr Reproduced by permission Ltd 26 I I

ApfiOSS DOWN ^'l Untamed star or B52s album A' 's back-up boys .title (4,6) 2 f>istalshit(6,6) Ji First name Qf jailbird 3 American new wavers who ^trangler made a hit with Sheena! (3,7) / Title of last LP 4 Ramona& June & Jane & (2,3,3) Kate make up this group (3,8) 9 Blondie hit of last year 5 Another four girl outfit, from yi. 22 and ISiDown. Shared across the waves (3,6) "Xanadu" no. 1 with Olivia 8 Comfort for Kevin & Co.? f8,5,9) (5,5,2,4) 12^ Something to be worshipped 1 1 Joy Division's new album •' ,j-HVe Billy? 17 The Beat's belonged to s yi Covers your arm or a record ,j!kjWn 14^ ..Itf See 10 Across yi Basil Fawlty's real name (4,6) IS He sings with The 16 & 28 Brummie reggae band of Undertones

"Ku Klux Klan" note (5,5) 20 Ex-Yes man Rick . . .

19 American Rumour-spreaders! 21 . . . and one of the (9,3) instruments he plays 23 Singer/poetess Patti .X£ See 10 Across 24 He thinks Blondes Have More 25 American soul label that's 20 *'_JU«t(3,7) this year <26j|Vti"^ you (ian a Smash?! ^JI7"%nt leader ''28 See 16 Across AftSWEHS ON PAGE 30

THE PiSYCHEDELIC am —

\ albums singles THEJACKSONS: Triumph (Epic). music IS as witty, infectious and ineJacksonshavebeen hard : Boy (Island). A wearing as this, even major new By Steve Taylor successful for solong that talent in that it's doesn't the making without surprising matter unduly. Made by a that they still find the* doubt. This Irish four ^°' °^^^' piece outfit incentive to turn out humans. (8 out seem good f i^r^ lyrically obsessed records with ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN: name, it's thoroughly buoyant at the rate they do shadows and the MONTY PYTHON: I Uke Chinese carelessness of this disc. The suonnsoH (Korova). I'm They've as and seaworthy. Which is a wet (Charisma). While undoubtedly got another innocence of children the Pythons' sharpness of Mike Howlett's one — which sensitive to the charms of Ian way of here, since this is makes saying it's a very fine celluloid escapades made production simply packed SECRET AFFAIR: them sound almost McCulloch's cannot with a Behind Closed neat little epics of single. essential collection of typically embarrassingly naive cinema-going, records conceal the shambles into which Doors (I Spy). Is there at times — low-key doom as the chap in the powerful funky life after out their like this couldn't even produce a the dance numbers ? Er, driving playing band plunge this energetic as maybe. Secret Affair next bedsit, but I still have to well as the softer, are YELLOW MAGIC ORCHESTRA: damp eyelash unless in despair smoochier well combined with a very piece of punk/funk between each sounds equipped for survival infectious sneak out in an old raincoat to Nice Age (A&M). Coming from they do so well. lightness of touch, at the complete lack of lunacy — glorious chorus. Boisterousness Written (melodic flair, strong natural purchase them in a brown paper Japan, these and produced by vocals a confidence wit, even — in such an uninspired doesn't themselves furious and above all equal inspiration, lads. Triumph" sax) but so many of a bag. Time for them to find a unpronounceably-christened is another near their blissful tunefulness, music-hall style ditty. songs seem to be makes this producer who can arrange those young perfect product from needlessly an men were faced at an early Disappointing. TENPOLE TUDOR, The Jackson struggling exceptionally attractive debut deadly ANY nit to sound important simple guitar lines and age with the choice between machine. (8 out of 10). A magical album TROUBLE, DIRTY LOOKS, and setting — buy it lav,' wistful melodies into something JOE themselves up to be spending their time imitating TIGER LILY: Monkey Jive Beverly Hillier out of 10). (Dead KING CARRASCO & THE knocked down. If that sounds like a Real Single. modern American and THE FLYING LIZARDS: Move On they're aiming European Good). Collectors' curio corner. CROWNS, THE for the Billy Red Starr EQUATORS: Son Up (Virgin). Cunningham and Joel market, then this music or beginning a ninety-year Tiger Lily were the IS 1975 Of Stiff Tour EP (Stiff). Sadly, the friends put Soul Pride through certainly corny enough apprenticeship at Samurai in THE TEARDROP Prototype of Ultravox, featuring annual Stiff megatour gets less places; if they're EXPLODES: school. their musical mincer and not, then those Kilimanjaro They chose wisely: "Nice Dennis Leigh (aka John Foxx) thrilling rippling (Mercury). and as the years go by; the fabricate a version of Curtis need Very Age" is a neat ultra-danceable three-quarters of the present much a bitty story-so-far search for wonderfully wacky Mayfield's anthem to Black Slimming down and toughening album combination of Sparks It includes line-up belting through one of characters is up. out " — the 'A' sides of clearly a struggle. determination that exhibits all the (5 of 10). all sentiments and Bowie-disco Dennis' lesser-known four previous singles, R&B This value-for-money taster for statutory Lizards' trademarks — David notably the pulse. Rather attractive. Hepworth brilliant compositions. And if "Treason" you rate the current bash suggests that tea-tray drums, tinny tune, -this has that as been sniffed at funny, try the thirties-style the punters will spend their THE DANCE BAND Fancy elsewhere but is POLYSTYRENE: carefully preserved beat — but nevertheless Talk In Toytown flip: this week's real comedy evening Footwork all good stuff. thrashing in and out of treads dangerously close to (Double D). At first The (UA). An undistinguished item. organ and brass the auditorium in a frenzy of competence. Deborah's sight, this project doesn't sounds which comeback. Predictably, dancing have an along with indecision. Will awful lot going Julian's warm voice Carrasco be as aristocratic recitations have been for It; a bunch of synthesisers have replaced X-Ray and obscure lyrics, THE CARS: Touch And Go loony as reported? Is The veteran British session dominate this Spex's thrashing replaced by Patti Palladin's more players debut guitars, but (Elektra). Not the promising new Equators' reggae give it a dreamy quality as ordinary as it or less straight singing. The day — ^"""'")'^''<'yl^gsoul but Poly's lament against the p=.„^ after repeated plays vehicle unveiled on their debut sounds here? Will Tudor be as Bands, spicing their the psychological this lot make a "proper" record own very outstanding pitfalls of the big album two years ago, but a hilarious derivative melodies and as he was in the they're done for. tunes with the odd city is hackneyed and dull. positive feel sophisticated-looking version of "Swindle"? Are Dirty minor classic. come glowing Looks as But, apart from a through. the Standard American Model — tendency Lovely album — highly powerful as their records imply? THE MONOCHROME SET: to come on like The JAPAN: Gentlemen Take THE PROFESSIONALS: One Two heavy, sluggish recommended. IBVi out and low on Can Any Trouble survive being Apocalypso (DinDisc). A Average White Band with of 10). Polaroids (Virgin). Unlike Three (Virgin). Not so much a mileage. Barely gets out of first labelled by the Melody sleeping sickness Red Starr Maker as rhythmically witty tale which in places, this is Ultravox, Japan have yet to be song, more an impeccable rock gear without stalling. a the most interesting band this topically contrasts jet-set pleasant, skilfully presented forgiven for dressing and roll backing track. >»C^ up when century? next effort that See month's affluence with the imminent succeeds purely Kl^''T'^^^^^'^T''«R'ver 1 everyone else was dressing ICBS). Nearly PURPLE HEARTS: My Life's A singles chart. because it's two years on the down. threat of another world war. The affectionate and drawing "Polaroids" is one of their 3 MINUTES: Automatic Kids Jigsaw (Safari). Four more young unpretentious. board, this epic double fact that it comes across — as do (6 out of 10) set elegant retreads of mid-period (Rocket). Vet another meeting of men ponder the question "Is ranges right across the majority of their the the songs — as a SnrinnctQiai-. r.».»_4. r — even down to the David Bowie Appreciation there life after Mod?" and totally exercise in detail of using the Society; the kind *«l|% detached a exhilarating ^ame producer of noise Gary respond with a piece of clumsily rockers through soul fashionably unlikely musical style JIMMY_PURSEy: Imagination tinged — and it's attractively smooth Numan might make if someone put-together pop that's ballads to heartfelt may have something to do with anthems and syrupy. The sounds are switched on his life support redeemed by a certain naive that stand the hair their having experienced neither. at by the narcissistic on generously ladled over an system. packaging end. The E Street charm. Just. and ludicrous Band couldn't appropriately oriental sounding "moody" posino ( XTC: Towers Of London (Virgin). hook that isn't quite strong KATE BUSH: Army : In My Street (Magnet). New vinyl froi Dreamers(EMI). Andy Partridge must be one of enough to close the credibility Twee isn't the (Polydor). Much more creditable Matchbox Is always the few rock who welt ^a sensitive gap yet. word for this slice of this is no artist". All post-Mod fare; a gloriously full let down. This time this really could get away with a single means is that he's balalaika-driven whimsy; one for production by Mick Glossop they re moving away from dedicated to Victorian out dropped the frantic headbanging : She's So the mums to say "it's nice to hear backed by that familiar and out rock'n'roll city-building. From a recipe that towards a approach for Cold (Rolling Stones). a decent tune for a more a simpler line which They're change" Who-derived pumping bass. If mainstream includes a deliciously twangy sound with unfortunately merely not still at it, about. shows up are they? Mick the lyrical content is a bit rockabilly and country guitar intro and an everso tasty fringes the lack of any real Jagger complains that is Strong musical talent the lady self-righteous put it down to and tuneful — listen for those as ever or depth, while the lacking in warmth; the way he "soulful" youthful enthusiasm. ^"'' cover versions lyrics little squeezes of synth Tni^*"!,'^',".^'^ are just plain awful. carries on, is it any surprise? spit fifty-fifty -but What decorating the chorus — "Towers somehow some people will | lacking do to draw THE MOONDOGS: Who's Gonna GEN X: Dancing their usual zip, though attention With Myself Of London" is arguably the most to themselves (2 JETHROTULL: Working John, Tell Matchbox's I'uuiout Mary? (Real). Actually, (Chrysalis). Another sudden loving, thoughtful of 10). Working audibly edible item on the menu Joe (Chrysalis). The fact although The Undertones get a approach still makes for reappearance, this time from the this sitting. Bon AppetitI a strong that Jethro Tull were named after sleeve album Red Starr credit. The Moondogs are Bashful Poser himself. A stronger — especially compared to the Victorian agriculturalist who less obviously the usual artless; posh larynx, a shorter name, a new predictable rock'n'roll JOE JACKSON: invented the seed-drill is of cousins from the cliches. Beat Crazy right side of drummer and an anonymous (7yj out of 10). (A&M). A considerably more interest that town, perhaps. The brave effort to break song takes a guitarist help make Billy Idol Red Starr new this funked-up folk-rock. ground, this is by far File suitable teen romance theme — sound for Joe's — once — like the star most musically under History (Rural). falling in love with your ROCKPILE: Seconds adventurous he's always tried so hard to Of Pleasure effort (F Beat). to date. His fondness for girlfriend's sister — and subjects appear. Hard, Mr Williams is a melodic superb reggae at times THE PASSIONS : The Swimmer drummer, threatens to take it to a perky R&B pop treatment excitement: viability at last! Mr Bremner a guitarist over, but his lyrics (Polydor). This enigmatic that's just a touch too nice to be of peerless taste, Messrs Lowe are as sharp and provocative as foursome launched an album of nifty. and EdmiinHc a r%^:.- «*x ^ ever and his Springsteen RELUCTANT STEREOTYPES: voice has rarely sung brilliantly off-beat, strangely capable sounds morfe emotional Plans For Today (WEA). Students of endless variations on better, approaching each than before. It's the lightweight pop — "Michaeli& ATHLETICO SPtZZ 80: Central tne most basic rock first Joe composition of ethno-musicology will know all and roll Jackson as if it were his last Miranda" — down the slipway a Park (A&M). themes and album that doesn't Having never the usual objections to this, as if you — an object lesson in tediously hadn't sound like a drama, few months back, but "The guessed, is collection of three succumbed to the appeal of competent white reggae; it's another batch conviction and of minute pop songs and involvement Swimmer" wasn't on board. A Spizz's antics, I've got no fond enough The Mor>o<^*^''° warm, classy music that Joe Soul? Everybody here to point out this chuqs talks about it forceful along deserves credit for moving production of a dramatic memories of his irresistible beautifully. There on Springsteen's song's tedious competence. All is no "j"* got it. {9% out song that fully justifies the band's real (8'/2Outof10). stage act to excuse the right, professor? stand-out song, but when Beverly Hillier 28 David Hepworth {A Fan) SMASH HtTS PINBALL COMPETITION

THOSE PEOPLE at Rocket Orton Southgate, Records ain't stupid. They're PETERBOROUGH PE2 OUF to perfectly aware of the fact that arrive before October 30. under the sophisticated surface of every rock writer — about a The first three correct entries to quarter of an inch actually — be picked out on that day will there lurks a five year old child. each receive the Automatic Kids So, in order to help promote Pinball Machine, white an "Automatic Kids", the debut autographed copy of "Automatic single by 3 Minutes, they gave us Kids" will go to the 25 runners a new toy for the office, a up. splendid, fully operational, battery driven, miniature pinball Sharpen your pencils then and oi machine, complete with bells, ttm.*1?emory wheels: here we go. buzzers, flippers, automatic A.ShB, herself, Joan scoreboard and all the ?rOops — follow that for a hit trimmings. ' J6,4,4) So delighted were we with this a: Wfiat The Maytals need to item that we begged Rocket to let /ffJake a group (5,3) us have one of these machines to A- Ancient meadow shared by give away as a competition prize. Mike and Sally Being the generous folks they VMotown's master jammed are, they came up with three of jWs out for a hit the beauties and twenty five 6/Bowie's gratest single? autographed copies of "Automatic Kids" for the runners ^ Out Of ----, Chris Farlowe hit up. in 1966 To be in with a chance of 8. Latest offering from the King winning one, simply fid in the jgr^ock'n Roll (2,1,4,4) answers to ctues 1-13 and the ^^Amorous Coffee single letters of column will spell 1 one 0. "What Do I Get" was this out the answer to this puzzle — Manchester band's first and the benefit you'll get from >«Stjccess our pinball machine! Write your K^ Brummies who've just answer on a postcard and send it ^^,.-8f§ned off to Smash Hits Pinball ^JH\ Mr. Stardust Competition, 14 Hotkham Road, 13. Mr. Ben, hero of strange tales

COMPETITION ANSWERS Secondly, cast your minds l>ack to Loader, Thrapston, Kettering; Douglas August 21 and you'll remember our Johnstone, Blaby, Leicester; P. Harris, amazing Hazel O'Connor Huntington, York; Kristina Saul, AND WINNERS competition: Leeds; F. Drennan, Cardiff; John ANSWERS: A = Phil Daniels; B = The Crow, East Molesey, ; Lisa To kick off a new season of lucky winners, we have the final edition of our Vibrators; = Nick Lowe; D = David Clifton, Chelmsley old-style Smash Hits Crossword Competition Winners: Wood, 837 6SK; Bowie; E = Hugh Cornwall; F — Falsa. Gillian Sparks, Pike Hill, Burnley; Laura King, Exeter; Martin Spivey, CROSSWORD No. 47 WINNERS CINEMA TICKETS & ALBUM Crookes, Sheffield; Gary Mcintosh, VIDEO GAME WINNER: Pamela Moore, Redditch, Worcs. WINNERS: Jeannette Melling, Goodmayes, llford; Alex Harrison, ALBUM WINNERS: P. Farmer, Beeston, Nottingham; Joseph Antigha, Netherley, Haskayne, Lanes; Helen Bundy, Woodlesford, Leeds,' Andrew Bethel, Liverpool; Valerie Hamid, Tunbridge Wells, Kent; Jonathan Ashcroft, Solihull, West Midlands; Jacina Croxley Green, Herts; Russell Smith, Shrewsbury; M. Mumford, Stubbington, Fareham, Hants; Steven Power, Mordone, Wyken, Coventry. Bradford; Richard Khai, Bexleyheath, Kent; Catherine Young, Shipley, W. Yorks; Jennifer Norris, Bournemouth; Angela Berthiaume, , Bucks; Miss N. Penny, Taunton, Somerset; Alan Hampton, Bridgwater, Somerset; P. Forfar, ALBUM WINNERS: Stylianou, Angus; Roger Houston, Northolt, Middlesex; Carol Coulton, Workington, Neil Summers, Aylesbury, Bucks. Peterborough; Lesley Penswick, Cumbria; Frank Mills, Dundee; Judith Balshaw, Bootle, ; Christine Bellis, Blackburn; Jennifer Pond, Upper Rnally a bit of Ruff Trade as we Widnes, Cheshire; Lynn Williams, Harrow, Middlesex; Peter Gill, Tulse Hill, London; Dee Taylor, announce the results of the Korgis Gravesend, Kent; Stephen Cross, St. Helens, Merseyside; Kay Bazely, Watcombe, Torquay; Ann Fowls, competition from issue September Hornchurch, Essex; Gary Turnbull, Annfield Plain, Co. Durham; Jeanette Watt, Sunderland; Middlesbrough; Steven Murray, 18: Connie Taylor, Barnsley, S. Yorks; Sarah Perkins, Barry, S. Irvine, Ayrshire; Toni Ann Booth, Glamorgan; John Cox, Leicester; Michael Cockburn, Tattershall, Lines. Luton; Jim Williams, Portsmouth; ALBUM WINNERS: lain Sandford, East Horsley, Surrey; Stephen Gregory, Keynsham, Nr. Donna Smith, Darlington, Co. ANSWERS TO CROSSWORD No. 47 Bristol; John Connolly, New Barnet, Durham; Sheena Tate, Boldon Colliery, Tyne Wear; Craig ACROSS: 1 "Breaking Glass"; 6 "Argy Bargy"; 9 Nolan (Sisters); 10 "Dance Herts; Glen Robinson, Todmorden, & Smith, Epsom Away"; 11 Andy Summers; 13 (Keith) Moon; 14 Mick Jones; 15 Stray (Cats); 16 Lanes; Tina Beale, Paulton, Bristol; Downs, Surrey; Mrs. R. George, BIyth, Northumberland; Keith (Moon); 17 Hot Chocolate; 19 (Gary) Numan; 20 (Bryan) Ferry; 21 Adam (& David Bush, Leicester; Lorraine Drury, Jane Salter, Weston, The Ants); 22 "(Ring My) Bell"; 23 John (Entwistle); 24 (Swinging) Cats. Hindley, Lanes; Janette Connell, Bath; Caroline Price, Oldham, Lanes; Alison Tredegar, Gwent, S. Wales; Martin DOWN: 1 Black Sabbath; 2 "Eighth Day"; 3 (Crystal) Gayle; 4 "Sunday (Girl)"; 5 Boyd, Alloway, Ayr; Richard Westlake, Holt, Tamworth, Staffs; Richard "I Want To Be Straight"; 7 Bodysnatchers; 8 "Ring My (Bell)"; 12 Rick Wakeman; Beacon Heath, Exeter; Simon Clifford, Gregory, Keynsham, Nr. Bristol; 13 (Gary) Moore; 14 "My World"; 16 Kenny (Everett); 18 "O.K. Fred"; 21 Art Chippenham, Robert Steele, Wootton, (Garfunkel). Wilts; Sue Edwards, Long Crendon, Beds; Susan Bucks; James Kahn, Barnet, Herts; Toogood, Northampton; Julie Jane Corbridge, Hove, Sussex; Harding, Oldfield Park, Bath; Peter Elizabeth Gillen, Alnwick, Smith, Westhoughton, Lanes; Northumberland. Catherine Oliver, Yarm, Cleveland; ANSWERS TO CROSSWORD ON PAGE 27 Anita Clarke, Boxford, Colchester; Helen Tinley, Northfield, Birmingham; ACROSS: 1 Wild Planet; 2 Hugh; 3 I'm The Man; 9 'Dreamin'"; 10 Electric (Light SINGLE WINNERS: Carolyn Chapman, Chris Blackmore, Taunton, Somerset; Orchestra); 12 Idol; 13 Sleeve, 14 Oboe; 15 John Cleese; 16 Steel (Pulse); 17 Canterbury, Kent; Kathleen Jordan, Julie Witt, Timsbury, Bath; Sarah Fleetwood Mac; 23 Smith; 24 ; 26 Chas; 27 Adam; 28 Chorley, (Steel)'pulse. Lanes; Richard Stephens, Brackley, Ashburton, S. Devon; Susan Romsey, Hants; Christine Dobson, Davies, Tenby, Dyfed; Simon Jones, DOWN: 1 Wallers; 2 Pretty Vacant; 3 The ; 4 The Mo-Dettes; 5 The Stockton Heath, Cheshire; Gail Walsall, W. Midlands; D. Nolans; Davies, 8 "There, There, My Dear"; 1 1 "Closer"; 17 Tears; 18 (Electric Light) Coleman, Sale, Cheshire; J. Salisbury, Wilts; Miss D. J. Lee, Orchestra; 19Feargal; 20 Wakeman; 21 Organ; 22 (Electric) Light (Orchestra); 25 Shooter, Corfe Mullen, Dorset; Simon Weymouth, Dorset; Tamla. Glynis Carty, Cozens, Yeovil, Somerset; Sally Sunderland, Tyne & Wear; Carol Millard, West Heath, Birmingham; Ian Gardner, Brockworth, Glos. IM'TIS

WE BEGIN with a real stinker of a move as many as 500,000 copies short recording career, the late follow up on RCA, "Cast Of question which has winged its in just one week. pumped out more Thousands" should still be way from Emilios Koromias of As far as the album lists are great records than most artists available on order from your Cyprus who requires to know concerned, what matters is not so manage in twenty years. local record dealer. exactly how many copies an much how high you fly as how "Somethin' Else", from the year album or single must sell in order long you hang on. An album like 1959, was just one of them, a Nikki and Kim Biterlick of to ensure a high chart position. Pink Floyd's "Dark Side Of The record of blistering power which Finchley are two frustrated fans Moon" or Meat Loaf's "Bat Out cuts all the cover versions dead. of The Boomtown Rats, eager to It's impossible to answer this Of Hell", which hangs around the Hear it. hear when their idols will be back accurately as the chart success of middle of the chart tor years, is in action. a record depends heavily on the steadily amassing a huge total; in Now for a sensible question. K. Well, ladies, the chances are sales performance of the The Floyd's case, 1 ,200,000 sales Oss (Oh, very good!) of you two aren't nearly as competition at any given time. in Britain alone. Walthamstow is curious about frustrated with the situation as Very often the number one single the fate of Paul Weller's book The Rats themselves. Their fourth will be selling five times as many Wayne Cooper's problem is a publishing venture. Riot Stories, album, "Bongo Crazy", was copies as the number two and little easier to help with. A which appeared last year with recently completed in Ibiza with immeasurably more than the semi-pro musician from Kitwell, Dave Waller's "Notes From A the help of Bowie producer Tony new entry at number 75. he needs to know how to go Hostile Street". Have they given Visconti but it will not be The general state of the market about joining the Musicians' up? appearing until the band have affects things as well. If people Union. The answer is, by writing Apparently Paul has decided ironed out their disagreements aren't buying all that many to The Musicians' Union, 60-62, that he just hasn't to with Phonogram International records, as is the case at the Clapham Road, London SW9 OJ J, devote the attention that a project over financial and other matters. moment, a comparatively small enclosing your full name and like Riot Stories deserves and so, Until these are resolved the sale may win a respectable chart address. The M.U. base their after putting out one more band are hanging on to the planning a position. subscriptions on earnings, so if volume, "All Shook Up, All Mixed finished tapes and But broadly speaking at the you don't make much as yet they Up", an anthology of the work of British tour for January moment it should be possible to won't ask for much. various young scribes. Riot regardless of whether they have enter the lists by selling 10,000 Stories will be closing down. any new vinyl to promote. copies in a week. Once you start Sorry about the irate tone on moving 60,000 a week you can this next one, but some twerp Stephen Gould of Howden has start thinking about the top five, from Armagh scores no points on been attempting to get hoJd of an Cot a question that's bothering and after that the sky's the limit. the credibility meter by enquiring album by The Adverts. This isn't you? Then drop us a line on a

Huge sellers like Paul whether it was Sid Vicious or easy. Before their break up last postcard to: FACT IS, Smash Hits, McCartney's "Mull of Kintyre" Showaddywaddy who first year they made two long players; and Boney M's "Rivers Of recorded "Something Else". the first, "Crossing The Red Sea" WT, and we'll do our best to Babylon" have been known to How do we put this? In his on Anchor, is deleted but the provide the answers. T I K 1 S R E H C T A N S Y D O B D J 1 L T R A W E T S L A R R R

J N L C LOCK D V A 1 A Y E Z S M R C B E A N D R M A R T S S WN N B L H A B E teaser C S J W E R R G C E A E A M L O 1 A Y 1 T N A A A N A R W B B R ASRRMORN N C C 1 G D T T A U J A T N u R D A T E K G The names listed are hidden in the' diagram. They run horizontally, N A A Z M C M M H T p Y E RENTS vertically or diagonally — many of them are printed backwards. But A N P Y J ANOAACAOSKERO remember that the names are Y H always in an uninterrupted straight X C L R J N T R R P H T L E R tine, letters in the right order, R O S A A P 1 R 1 whichever way they run. Some A T E S C J R B E letters will need to be used more R J H D E T R than once — others you won't need PWA A N S R G A L P to use at all. Put a line through the A S D A R Q F U R L A A L names as you find them. N C A Solution on page 44. B N K G U E E S S R X R 1 1 U T R 'AIR SUPPLY IRENE CARA RAM JAM BAND ALBERT KING JAM RANDY CRAWFORD L O C G R L H T A R Y L A K L U S N AL STEWART JETHRO TULL ROSE ROYCE L D R 1 BARRY ANDREWS JOE 'KING' CARRASCO ROXY MUSIC O T N C A E X N 1 L K C A BODYSNATCHERS SHALAMAR U L A 1 BOZ SCAGQS JON ANDERSON SLADE A A K C T H A N S 1 D 1 L CARLENE CARTER TINA TURNER T C E U E N T E CHANGE LINX U.K. DECAY G T E L N K E N CHORDS LITTLE EVA WAR O D CLOCK DVA MARC BOLAN WEATHER W QRNMLAMMA R 1 E C A B DARTS MECHANICS REPORT R N E S 1 A E E A H P ELGINS METERS U E G N A H C EQUATORS PAT BENATAR H A R K T E W E R S C E D L K Y HELEN REDDY PAULINE MURRAY C R .INMATES PIRATES T N E E V RSROTAUQEOUEA E O S A A RACE N E R 1 N E B M M J J A V D Y D D E R N E L E H T A P

DINDISC MARTHA AND THE MUFFINS 'TRANCE AND DANCE' ALBUM AND CASSETTE INCLUDES SINGLE 'SUBURBAN DREAM'

32 A A V

IVf/y DO lOVlRS BREAK EACH OTHERSHEARTS? on Arista Records

Why do lovers break each others' hearts? Oh tell me why do lovers Have to drift apart? When we met, the world was right Now I'm crying every night Why do lovers break each others' hearts?

Why do lovers break each others' hearts? Oh tell me why do lovers Finish what they start? A year ago we were one Now just look at what we've done Why do lovers break each others' hearts? °

Help me, help me, I don't understand Why we always hurt the ones we love Tell me, tell me, where's the life we planned? Where are the dreams that we were dreaming of?

Why do lovers break each others' hearts? Oh tell me why do lovers Have to drift apart? When we met, the world was right Now I'm crying every night Why do lovers break each others' hearts?

When we met the world was right Now I'm crying every night Why do lovers break each others' hearts? Why do lovers break each others' tell hearts? (oh me why) on Why do lovers break each others' hearts? (why do lovers) Magnet Records Why do lovers break each others' hearts? (break each others' hearts) Don't cry on my shoulder Why do lovers break each others' hearts? (tell me, tell me why) Rely on someone who's older Why do lovers break each others' hearts? lovers) (why do i don't know what to tell you Why do lovers break each others' hearts? When you ask about love

I think I know whaTs wrong with you I've been going steady too long with you Words and music by P. Spector/E. Greenwich/T. Powers I don't know what to tell you Reproduced by permission Interworld Music Ltd. When you ask about love

What you feel for me is infatuation It all started back during summer vacation Someone else needs my attention I can't go steady with you no more

Don't cry on my shoulder Rely on someone who's older I don't know what to tell you When you ask about love

What you feel for me is infatuation It all started back during summer vacation Someone else needs my attention I can't go steady with you no more

Don't cry on my shoulder Rely on someone who's older I don't know what to tell you When you ask about love

I think I know what's wrong with you I've been going steady too long with you I don't know what to tell you When you ask about love

Don't know, don't know what to tell you About love Hepeattofade

Words and music by Curtis/Allison Reproduced by permission AcuffRose Music Ltd.

33 Their NEW SINGLE 'AUTOMATIC KIDS' Produced by Vic Coppersmith-Heaven

See them at the Venue, London OCTOBER 23

marketed by B, I phonogram XPRES 40 4^ elvis costellO| ^ ANDTHE I attractions! n% ivamm^

(I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea

Photographs of fancy tricks Men come screaming Sb To get your kicks at sixty six Dressed in white coats ^H He thinks of all the lips that he Shake you very gently by the licks foot And all the girls that he's going One's named Elis to fix One's named Alfie

1 don't want to go to Chelsea She gave a little flirt Gave herself a little cuddle Repeat chorus But there's no place here For the mini-skirt waddle Photographs of fancy tricks Capital punishment, she is last To get your kicks at sixty six year's model He thinks of all the lips that he They call her Natasha licks When she looks like Elsie And all the girls that he's going

1 don't want to go to Chelsea to fix

Chorus She gave a tittle flirt Oh no, it does not move me Gave herself a little cuddle

Even though 1 seen the movie But there's no place here

1 don't want to check your pulse For the mini-skirt waddle

1 don't want nobody else Capital punishment, she is last

1 don't want to go to Chelsea year's model They call her Natasha REdtUEST SP#T Everybody's got your orders When she looks like Elsie Be a nice girt and kiss the warders 1 don't want to go to Chelsea Artist: Elvis Costello & The Attractions Now the teacher is away Title: (I Don't Want To Go To) Chelsea All the kids begin to play Repeat chorus Date: 1978 Label: Radar Requested by: Debbie Fulton, Leigh-on-Sea, Essex Words and music by Elvis Costello Reproduced by permission Plangent Vision Music Ltd. 1^ 35 — things when you're writing song," Julian's voice descends to day," he continues, killing make sure the others aren't ." them . . He dissolves into a conspiratorial whisper, "called himself laughing. "'I'm stuck in listening. "It's not the " laughter. ". . . i mean, 'The Great Dominions' and It's this pickle-jar on a paper carpet', 'rm-an-artlst-I'm-going-to- 'consequently' and 'rather got this very big melody and he Intones in his "serious lyric" suffer-for-my-work' bit. strange' — it's ridiculous! The these insane lyrics. Things like voice. "And Balfe? —" (falls Obviously everybody has their

Englishnessof it!" 'I'm only concerned with looking about again) . "He hatedit. 'Why angst occasionally. It's this concerned/I don't want to get my a pickle-jar, for Godssakes? joyous sort of thing that you're THE ROOT of Julian's mobility as laces burned. 'And Balfe said: Pickle-jar's such a horrible word writing something and It's like a a writer is in his 'Why didn't you want to get your to say. Why do you always write big release, and the fact that openmindedness. Ask him who laces burned?' — (does a fair such W/e lyrics??'" Julian tails off there are people who are buying his favourite authors are — and imitation of an angry Dave Balfe) In a fit of subdued hysterics. your records because they really this shouldn't sound the least bit — 'Why's it got to be something want to hear what you have to

affected — and he'll list 17th as petty as laces?' "WHAT I like about lyrics Is this," say. It's GREAT! "I Continues Julian . . Century poets like John Donne or wrote another one the other resumes, still checking to over page .

modern writers like T. S. Eliot. lt»i>«liii.F.''' Wl'."! In the same way his favourite singers, apart from the inevitable Scott Walker and , I are people like the late Jim Morrison of The Doors whose thickly textured, strictly regimented keyboard sound the Teardrops quite often resemble. "I love Morrison's lyrics because his imagery's so good. It's so pretentious," he admits, I "but then anything that really tries to sa/ something is going to sound pretentious because its aims are that much higher. "I mean, there's so many sides of me that are going into tlie songs. There's obviously a 'dark' side, but there's also a very 'light' side, a very happy side." The personal side of Julian — in fact, the simple love lyric of "Ha Ha I'm Drowning" — actually manages the not inconsiderable feat of freaking the normally unsinkable Jayne (vocalist with fellow Liverpudlians Pink Military) into leaving Teardrop gigs in embarrassment. "Maybe people do get scared of emotion nowadays," Julian reflects. You know how so many So now you know how they got their name! Mark Ellen meets Liverpool's latest exports. people have to 'cloak' their emotions. They have to say 'This

isavery dar/csong', like, to >- UP around the corner Well, it could praying it'll JUST get worse. If, say, be a big hit so he can conversation in typically ecstatic Liverpool's announce it beforehand and so from "Beatle lanky wereto "get on , just sit manner — eyes out like Street" prepare people to be in a (where the Council wander in, along with the waiflike there on a stool, not playing organ-stops, face wrenched into turned the particular mood. I really love legendary Cavern Club Dave Balfe, you'd have a anything, and do my Scott a permanent grin, fists clenched songs that yaron you." into a car-park) there's a cafe complete picture of what Walker bit"; an event not be for emphasis, occasionally called - Much of "Kilimanjaro" is full of Brian's. There you get vast inspired, wrote, played, missed on any account. breaking into snatches of a Scott beakers of tea for next-to-nothing such twists, turns and surprises. arranged, produced and Walker number (a hero) to and roast chicken Numbers are forever getting legs that are marketed some of the most vital ON THIS particular average day illustrate a point. "dead Johnny broken up, by sections of nursery massive" (which, and vibrant music to have come in Brian's, there's a more than He talks in a way that suggests translated, means "a bit the rhyme ("Second Head") or sea on out of Liverpool (make that average shower of Teardrops. All "inverted commas" all the time, large side".) shanty ("Went Crazy") — "to give Britain) in the last couple of four, in fact — Dave Balfe, Alan and uses words uncommon in the songs more shape". Or (like Were you to occupy a corner years. Gill, man-mountain drummer the often dog-eared world of seat average in "Sleeping Gas") they're on any day Drummond and Balfe were Gary Dwyer and Julian himself rock'n'roll, words like "joyous", Brian's, you'd probably dedicated to some totally see the co-founders of the Independent a line-up arrived at by "uplifting", "passionate" etc, and obscure character, in this case entire case history of the current Zoo label (not to mention being complicated routes even for a means every one of them. Liverpool rock'n'roll Kwalo Klobinsky who was a kind boom the studio group Lori & The Liverpool band. The rest of the band don't talk re-mixed before of computer programmed loony your very eyes. Chameleons of "Touch" fame). Julian, incidentally, is only a to the press much any more. from the "Outer Limits" TV Likely as not, for example, you'd Bill is the Teardrops' manager, as Liverpudlian by adoption. He There's no need. Gary's quite series. encounter Daiek I (all of them, was Dave too before he settled arrived in the city from Tamworth happy "drumming away and which is Alan Gill, Julian has even added little now the for a permanent post behind the in The Midlands in 1976, to study being seen in photos" while Dave guitarist in extras to the album's lyric sheet Teardrop Explodes). Teardrop keyboards. drama and teacher training. All and Alan are normally lost for — confusing things like "Please You would — almost certainly Those with a good memory of which makes him now 23. words on the subject of Julian's — encounter "the walking shut the window" which turns and even better musical taste will Anyway, the reason for this lyrics — which they don't like megaphone", one , out to be simply a line from an recall how Zoo paved the way for gathering is the Teardrops' much of the time since they can't who's all old Shadows Of Knight song that mouth and mentor for the Teardrops with a string of upcoming UK tour for which understand what he's on about. he felt like putting in just for the the ferociously engaging I Wah three superb singles. There was they're now rehearsing "They are a little confusing," Heat. Wylie part hell of it. was once of the the unnerving "Sleeping Gas" studiously in a place called (not Julian admits with a knowing legendary "supergroup" (his As he explains, barely pausing (which sold about 6,000), the by them) "The Ministry Of Love" grin. "I just think of them as word) known as The Crucial dislocated to draw breath: "Bouncing Babies" down at the end of the street. The completely persona/ lyrics. I was Three; the remaining Crucial "I love combining really huge Two ( 1 0,000) and the warmer, more tour is to tie in with the release of laughing the other day 'cos being the but artful lyrics with little tiny images. sombre deceptive "Treason" (around their debut LP "Kilimanjaro", a someone came up to me and McCulloch, heart Something massive with "Mac" and soul 20,000). record so choc-full of wit, colour, said: 'That lyric in "Treason" — of Echo something very petty. Trouble & The Bunnymen, and Which brings us to the present danceable rhythms and seductive "Consequently my reaction's/ talkative Julian Cope, bassist, and their is," he glances nervously at the latest — and most melodies that it leaves your Getting rather strange" — that's vocalist, lyricist three figures hunched around the and general commercially attractive — reporter in a state of some the least rock 'n'ro// lyric I've ever guiding light of The Teardrop next table, "The others don't offering "When I Dream", excitement. heard In my life!' seem to like it too much. Explodes. currently climbing the lower Julian's quite fond of it too. He "It hadn't occurred to me. I Sounds incestuous, doesn't it? "I mean, I've written this new reaches of the chart. Julian is launches himself into an hour's mean, you get so close to these 36 The Teardrop Explodes: (clockwise from the front) Alan Gill, Julian Cope, Gary Dwyer and . ground for complacency. Especially as Julian's conversation is continually studded with talk like "I love the idea of putting classy melodies together with things that are slightly strange." "Kilimanjaro", although fairly from previous page restrained, also seems to point in "But when people start that direction. For a start, there's classing themselves and thinking the trumpets (one courtesy of 'maybe I am a great person after Hurricane Smith, producer of air — that's a really dangerous much of Pink Floyd's early stuff, thing to do because you start which resulted in him being becoming blas6, and you start pestered by Julian for stories thinking obviously there is a about original Floyd member Syd reason for them to come and Barrett (another hero).) But watch me. There should always anyway, trumpets? be that knife-edge between the "Well, they seamed to fit very performer and the audience. I well. A lot of Dave's melodies are couldn'tget blas6 about it when very brassy. I'd like to get further people get so excited." away from being a 'group' by Nor does Julian have any time using different sounds. That's for being one of the "weird" really why we used trumpets, to bands who, as he sees it, appeal push the sound away. I've been to a smug Rough Trade set. writing songs on harmonium and "Because that's what it's viola which means you approach become now — it's become very things totally differently. You take smug. The Fall? I used to adore the music on a different 'size'. them. I used to think Mark "That's really why Michael Smith's lyrics were so brilliant Finkler was sacked (their and now he's become really previous guitarist, replaced by smug. Sort of Alan). He was quite complacent. l-know-what-I'm-doing- He didn't have massive ambition and-all-these-bands-are- — he just wanted us to be an influenced-by-me. It's this average rock'n'roll band. He was smugness that really gets me, happy with the band the way it and you've got to fight it." was and, me, I'm never happy The Teardrops ." adopt •. the same with it the way it is . approach to their music. If Which is typical of Julian. If I'd nobody in the group agrees helped dream up something even much — and most of their ideas half as moving as "Kilimanjaro", conflict anyway — then it's hardly I'd feel the right to be pretty likely to become a breeding damn pleased with myself.

'b FACTORY •s, ,

WORKSHEET . . . ' plans for the month of October include another Joy Division single — a British pressing of their American 12 inch release of "Atmosphere'V'She's Lost Control" to avoid costly imports. Also scheduled for release this month are a three THE SLITS commence their "massive reggae from Leicester, track 12 inch (titles: "Flight'V'Blow^n band with DJ Don international assault" this Letts also providing Away'V'And Then Again") by A Certain month with a his sound system. The Ratio, a 10 inch single by the wonderfully new single and tour dates. The single, to be support at Bristol will be Mwuendo and released on October 18, will be "Animal "surprise named Crispy Ambulance, and a double guests". Space"/"Animal Spader" (Y Records/Rough Complete dates are: album with one side devoted to each of Leicester Polytechnic Trade) A Dennis Bovell-produced studio (October Durutti Column, Kevin Hewicic, Blurt and 17), University (18), album will follow In the beginning Bristol The Royal Family & The Poor. of the Romeo & Juliets (21) and Manchester new year University Recent Factory activities outside the UK (22). The band will also be doing a short have included an American three track tour, followed by an American visit. Support Contact for (titles: "Do The Du"/"The Fox"/"Crippled on Rough Trade: SAE to Scott at 202 all dates (except Bristol) are Tegary, a Kensington Park Road. 1. Child") 12 inch by , with London Wl European releases for "Charnel Ground"/"Haunted" by Section 25 and "Shack Up"/"And Then Again" by A Certain AND MORE JOY DIVISION NEVER MIND THE MAJORS Ratio (both 7 inch), plus a 12 inch of "Lips STILL ON the subject of Factory That Would Kiss"/"Madeleine" by Durutti Records, the DESPITE (or perhaps because of) the Column. latest episode in the increasingly non-event of their "Frustration" single with complicated saga of Joy Division releases is This last Durutti Column item is an WEA, The l=our Be Twos are embarking on that next month will see the reissue outstandingly beautiful record of guitar of their various solo projects. The first of these, "Transmission" in 12 inch form with a new instrumentals and well up to standard of the under the guise of The BoMoclis Brothers, is sleeve, and also of the much sought after recent "Return Of" album. It's well worth a limited edition 12 inch on their own "" free flexi-disc. More news on trying to get hold of — if you have McDonald/Lydon Records. this as we get it. difficulties, try writing to Annik at Factory Operating in the same sort of bass/ Benelux, 32 Avenue Des Phalenes, Bte Meanwhile, looking forward instead of synthesiser dominated territory as Killing back, the remaining three members of the 13/1050 Brussels, Belgium, and tell her we Joke — though in much more jocular fashion sent you. band — currently working under the name — they offer the cheeky "Bootleg Man" and New Order but a further name change is the more serious 'The Bunker" covers the likely, it seems — have singles top 30 apparently been making of a film about Mr Hitler's last hours dependent recording in America. A new single, as yet better than most would, e.g. "Four and a half untitled, is slated for December release. million really well spent/While we struggle (Factory Records are distributed to record to pay the rent." Mai cious Damage shops REQUIEM Killnij Juke by Rough Trade and Pinnacle. Contact OK lads, now stop mucking about and get BIdnk '.abbdth NEWS address for Factory: 1 PARANOID SAE to 86 Palatine down to making the fine music you're Ow:'xHei 3 HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA Dead Kennedys Road, Manchester 20.) certainly capable of. Hough T-ade 7 TOTALLY WIRED la" (Contact: SAE to Honeyfield, 6 Acres Estate, Zounds C.ass i CAN T CHEAT KARMA/WAR/SUBVERT Fin^bury Park, London N4.) Illegal 1? DRUG TRAIN Camos ANOTHER PRETTY FACELIFT Grls C'ass C'3SS 5 BLOODY REVOLUTIONS/RERSONS UNKNOWN Poison Cfass 6 REALITY ASYLUM C-asi ANOTHER PRETTY FACE have a new single THE LATEST album releases from Faulty Fast Product 9 UBERALLES Dead Kennedys "Only Heroes Live Forever"/"Heaven Gets Products are Chelsea's "Alternative Hits" Dvision Factory 8 Joy Closer Today" on the way. Upcoming dates collection for a mere £2.99 and Mark Perry's Do ! 10 ZEROX Adam 8, The Ants include London Greyhound (October 21), new "Snappy Turns". (Contact: SAE to 41b n EtGHTBACKIEPI D'scharge Clay Hull Wellington Club (23), Leeds Fan Club Blenheim Crescent, London W1 1.) Do It i; CARTROUBLE Sdam S The An!s (30), Preston Warehouse (November 21) and Big Beat 29 MOTORHEAO Mclo'head Glasgow Gigsys (30). APF leader Mike Scott UK Decay F-esh 13 FOR MY COUNTRY also plans to resurrect his fanzine Joy Division Facto^v independent ; TRANSMISSION albums top "Jungleland" for its first issue in 10 Exploited two and a 15 ARMY LIFE Lxjioned half years. A future issue will include an APF MAN/CITY HOBGOBLINS fal RouqhTrade 18 HOW 1 WROTE EUSTIC flexi-disc of "The Witnesses". U REALITIES OF WAR D scha-se Clay Hough Trade (Further details: SAE to First Flat, 16 Cadzow 30 WHERE'S CAPTAIN KIRK' SpijiEne'g 2 FRESH FRUIT FOR ROniNG VEGETABLES L„„ .,.,„,.„,, ^„,m,m.„ Fresh Place, Abbeyhill, Edinburgh). 21 GHETTO The Wall 3 5 STATIONS OFTHE CRASS Crass trass Postca'O 26 BLUE BOY 0-anQe Juice < 3 CLOSER Joy Division 4AD 2« TERROR COUPLE KILL COLONEL Bauhaus LATEST RELEASE on Killing I Joy Division Fai Crass Joke's 16 YOU CAN BE YOU Malicious 6 7 COLOSSALYOUTHYouno Marble Giants ESP Damage label is a fine reggae - THE ROBOTS DANCE C'assixNouveau influenced 12 inch EP by High Wycombe 1 WORLD WAR III Mikey Dread Dread At The Conlrols - WAROANCE/PSYCHE Killing Joke M licious Damage band Red Beat. 8 10 INFLAMMABLiMAnRIAL Stiff L-ttleFinoers Rouoh Trade _ RADIO DfliaTIME Jose! K Postcard (Contact for Adam S The Ants Dolt 8- dge House Malicious Damage: SAE toll 26 JEALOUSY Wasted Voulh 10 6 THE ART OF WALKING PereUbu Rough Trade RoughTrade Portland Road, London W11). 27 FINAL DAYS younaMs'bleGianls Compiled by Racord Bulinau Irom a Zoo nationwide panel of tpecialin shops. 20 TREASON lirs JUST A STORYI The Teard'opEkplodes Only titles not connected with major record companies are eligible n BIRO BUDDIES r BADGE OFFER

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of contestants: interests (not yost musical) and the qualities

Boy or girl into Numan, Foxx, OMITD (Bowie wears very tight jeans or sometimes a Rude girl who optional extra) wanted/needed to exchange untidy wants to write to a two-tone mini skirt notes scribbled on scrap pieces of paper with a male with size 9 doc boots, and a good /rude boy Numanoid who hates heavy metal, rock 'n' roll and for swops. Write to: Lindsey collection of badges Crossroads. Please write to: Michael Wallace, 11 Road, Lidget Green, SMASH 73 Backside Price (age 15), Ashcroft Road, Stopsley, Luton, Beds. LU2 9AU. Bradford 7, West Yorkshire BD7 2JN. Lightfoot My name is Shirley Mole and I live at 237 male or female penpal aged 15-t-. going to the HITS Michelle wants Road, Hornsey, London N8. 1 enjoy Funk. Definitely likes Likes most music except Jazz, pictures and collecting posters. My favourite group Squash, Dancing. Must girls [ Hobbies: Ice-skating, Police. 1 w/ould like Police, is The Jam and 1 also like The must have something in have sense of humour and or boys to write from any country and, if possible, Pearce, 30 Ismere Way, common with me: Michelle could you please send a photograph. The age is from HEAR YE, HEAR YE, HEAR YE! Worcs. Sion Hill, Kidderminster, 15-17. Britain's most generous music

of wish to contact magazine is hereby offering you the Numanoid fanatic. Blitz girl (18) with mad sense Females (punk, mod and skinhead) Must humour would like to correspond with any handsome boys who share the same interests. chance to get our latest set of outrageous Numanoid boys (trench coats and dyed have reasonable dress sense. Photographs required. Write to: Oath, exclusive button badges — that's hair etc.). Write to: 'Esox' Dracup, 62 Lambourn (Ages 15-19). All letters answered. Heywood, Close, Hanwell, London W7. Deb and Carolyn, 12 Holland Street, The Pretenders, Stiff Little Fingers, Greater Manchester. The Undertones, Madness and Elvis 14 year-old pretty and trendy female requires good like The Costello — FREE Interests: Jam, Clash, like a female penpal aged 16-18. 1 ABSOLUTELY and looking 14-19 year-old male. 1 would The Tourists. Also Specials, Tiswas, going to gigs and parties, cycling, Police, The Jam, Queen and fer nowt! Dexy's Midnight Runners, wearing bright colours. (Also Buzzcocks, Madness, but I dislike All all you have to do to qualify for all funk. I am interested in Undertones). Definite interests: Flares! Write to: Specials, most disco, 287 Leeds Road, this amazing offer is collect Karen Smith, Allotment Gdns, Turnpike Rd., Melton, sports. Write to: Andrew Emmett, to three Yorkshire. Suffolk. Eccleshill, Bradford 2, badge tokens from three issues of Smash Hits. The first token appears Valentine. I am 14 years old and agitated , interests My name is Clare Penmate wanted for Split favourite bands are: Specials, The Beat and above — cut it out keep it safe. include Football, Hi-Fi Recording and spotting Jam my and fashion, a few sports and Enz. I like going to discos, freaks. Musically must be into The Jam, but not Don't send anything yet — we'll tell you where and when. Token number Bexhill O/S, Sussex TN40 1QU. two will appear in the next issue. See you there! (( PlayaGrundig home or away" "If you want to hear the best sounds around,wherevor you are, listen to a Grundig Hit Boy It comes with its own carrying handle in either a smart -looking black or champagne finish, works off either mains or battery and has three choices of wave' band: VHF, Medium and Long Wave. And at around £28.50 the Hit Boy is a really great

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tell WHERE ELSE apart from the wash their hair (issue September petty remarks. There will also be I wish someone would me record business is one expected 1 8). What they do, however (and assorted music critics, Bowie why the you ngsters on to buy the same product more now adopted by most Heavy fans, machines and machmen for Merseyside will not be able to see freaks), is headbang good measure. Have fun! the best group going, because to than once? I refer of course to the Mental process of releasing album tracks which removes most of the fleas, The Numanette Over The Road see them you must be over 18. Idea as singles, which really annoys dandruffs, grease, and UFOs Who Has A Good View Of The I think it's a totally stupid me. Blondie took four from (Unidentified Flying Oilrigs) — Park. that because it's in a Night Club "Parallel Lines" and Michael you have to be 1 8. If the age was Jackson released FIVE from "Off lowered, more people would go The Wall". and so more tickets would be Worse still is putting out sold, bringing in more money to singles before the album comes the club etc. out, like Queen who released Depressed, Annoyed, Ratty Skids three singles which all finally Fan. ended up on "The Game". The 'B' sides of these were also readily Unfortunately, dear Ratty, the available on their "Live Killers" album. answer isn't as easy as that. The from ticket usually Nowadays, however, people money sales goes to the gig's promoter, who like Gary Numan, Athletico Spizz has hired the band and the '80 and Joy Division all release venue. The money the dub brand new songs as singles and makes comes from the bar, since nowhere will you be expected to most people will want at least buy the same track twice. These one drink during their evening. people really care for the fans Since this is a very profitable who buy their albums. line, clubs are scared stiff of If more people refused to losing their licence through purchase singles taken from under age drinking — hence no albums, the record business under-18's get allowed in. A might sit up and take notice. shame, it's true — but vent your Think before you buy, "devoted" anger on the licensing laws or fans. the band's choice of venue, not Ian McMillan, Glasgow. the venue itself.

You've got a good point thejre, Ian, though unfortunately it's a DO YOU think Midge Ure and proven case that hit singles Richard Jobson are auditioning DEDICATED JACKSONS fan begs to see more information about The taken from albums greatly for Lounge Lizard when Bryan Jacksons printed in your magazine. Also 1 see no T-shirts, sweatshirts, increase sales of that album — Ferry retires? posters etc. plastered with their image and that's the real Lounge Lizard Lover (Julie where money Dedicated Jacksons Fan, Scunthorpe. lies for both artist and record Connell), Portsmouth.

company. Still, I reckon there Trust this latest pic and the review of their self written, self produced ought to be a legal minimum of album (see page 29) will help fill the gap. As for T-shirts etc., that's PLEASE COULD you use larger one non-album track per single. strictly up to the advertisers not us the writing side. But if and on print, as I am partially deaf. Who knows — if people got enough of you write to them direct, who knows what a sniff of extra Jinfer Bomber, Milnrow, decent value with singles, they business might achieve! . might start buying more of them, continues over right?

I'D JUST like to say that I which can then be packed into ISN'T IT funny that when The absolutely agree with the FAN CLUBS concrete cases and dropped into Jam went into the charts at "angered gangrene sufferer with the North Sea. number one nobody could wait (Remember to enclose a SAE) plaster all over his toes" (issue Rude Rude Boy. to slag them off. For example, all September 18) about the flimsy AC/DC the prats who said it was a inner sleeves that you get with so marketing exercise with a free 18 Watson Close many albums. ON PAGE 33 of issue September single. But when The Police go BURY ST EDMUNDS Oh what a joy it is, to buy an LP 4 there's an advertisement for a straight to number one, nobody Suffolk that you've been saving up for Judas Priest T-shirt. I just thought slags them off. With the first and then to discover as an added you'd like to know that the picture 20,000 singles there was a free GARY NUMAN bonus to the great music, you get it film called PC Box 14 on comes from a poster but I suppose that doesn't a decent strong inner sleeve with "Zombies — Dawn Of The Dead". count. STAINES picture and the words of all the Middlesex Figures, doesn't it? The Jam have worked hard and TW1 9 5AZ songs on it. This, I might add, is Lovesick Modette, The Other Side they deserve the success they've one of the reasons I like why Gary Norfolk. SECRET AFFAIR Of King's Lynn, had, even if it is a bit late. I hope Numan, apart from the fact he's Flats you print this letter 'cos I expect a got great legs! 1 Hyde Park Place lot of Jam fans feel the same Sheyna, President Of The 'Gary I'D JUST like to say that the way. LONDON W2 Numan Has Great Legs' meeting between the Gary The Person Who Knows The Jam Association, Glasgow. the Numan Defence League and Are The Best And Who Loves Rick TOYAH "Let's All Slag Off Gazza Numan" Buckler (And His Drumsticks}. Safari Records NO, THERE'S no need to panic, Campaign will take place in The 42 Manchester Street start a nuclear war or leave the Park tonight. Choice of weapons LONDON W1

country . . . Motorhead DO NOT will be strictly vapourisers versus DEAR FELLOW angry Skids fans. 43 IN last close enough, lyrics YOUR Issue (October I she isn't really for those, and the music is 2), mm^uncalled for. Sid is dead now — was pleased to see that you good looking. Have I wrote very simple. Compare them with does Red Starr have no respect printed a photo-feature on my enough? Skids records such as "Working for the dead? hero Gary Numan (swoon) but A Toon Fan Of The NE. For The Yankee Dollar" and Angry Reader, Fife. what I — and I'm sure many other "Circus Games". Here the music Numan fans — would like to ADMIT IT — you made up that is much more complex and the Oh, c'mon — that piece was a dig know is: WHO IS THAT WOMAN hilarious letter by Big Nigel (issue lyrics thought provoking. at Virgin Records, not Sid. WITH HIM? September 18). No one is that The secret of Blondie's success Whatever, Newsdesk (which was A Very AngryAnd Faintable funny. is simple — they sell themselves intended for people with a sense Numanoid From Bonnie Reggae Fan (Female) Who Is better than most bands, whereas of humour) will continue to Scotland. Madly In Love With A Punk. The Skids do not even attempt to appear, but only as an occasional be commercial and let the feature. Brace yourselves, ladies, but All letters that appear on these records speak for themselves. word from the Numan camp is pages are 101% genuine and C. Green, Edinburgh. TO MARK ELLEN, that she's his (whisper it) vthi^ sent in by readers. So if Big Nigel You are a dead man. Right, now we'll pretend that thinks Kelly Marie is good The day we judge songs by how A Human League Fan Named didn't happen and move smartly looking then I would certainly "complex" they are Is the day we Adrian Who Recently Purchased on to the next letter . . . say he was at least a bit funny. may as well all jack it in and go A Soviet-designed Nuclear and listen to Yes. Missile (Complete With Book Of I AM writing after having just Instructions). witnessed the latest edition of DO YOU get many letters like everybody's favourite this? programme, Top Of The Flops. P. Chilton, Thornaby. WHILE READING the letters page

How they coud make a I am always extremely amused programme so biased towards All the time. by the number of readers who

one type of music I just don't delight in putting things down. If know. In the charts that week THE POLICE'S "Don't Stand So they are not moaning about were records by artists as varied Close To Me" keeps perfect time music they dislike (are they so as AC/DC, XTC, The Specials, with the ticking of my alarm stupid to think that what they Genesis and , yet all clock. That sends me to sleep as think Is good is best?) they are they played was Disco. I know well. criticising people who knock the half the world loves Disco music, From A Girl In North London Who music they enjoy listening to. but there are a of few us sane Isn't Going To Be Very Popular Can't people tolerate other people left. From Now On. people's taste? The answer to The Young Hunk (again). In A Yes, here it is at last! Your that seems obvious — NOI We Bowl Of Semolina, Shropshire. chance to draw a moustache and I DIDN'T think Red Starr could do love Insulting our fellow humans P.S. Siouxsie for PM — Kate Bush it, but then again he did glasses on Kelly Marie . . . have the — it's just a bit of wicked fun. But for AM. help of Steve Bush. Fantastic w/i/lsitsuchfun? I think it makes "Newsdesk" feature. I hope it's them feel superior to knock WHAT HAS happened to Top Of DEAR EVEN Angrier Blondie Fan regular, or has Red Starr died things. The Pops? Since it started again (issue October 2), from over-exertion? It's an endless cycle: someone they have not had much I am forced to agree that Wee, Wimborne, Dorset. knocks variation, have they? Blondie are among the world's something they dislike. Someone who likes that knocks Take for instance this Kelly most popular artists (although Aw, it was nothing. Red Starr. Marie is the first person for knocking what — who she? She must certainly not in the top three) but I Exactly. Steve Bush. they like. have something going with the have to agree with the Skids fan No one likes being producers of TOTP because she's knocked so the person retaliates. from Swindon (issue September I DON'T think I'll continue to buy been it on three times. She goes 4) In calling Blondie overrated Smash Hits If this Newsdesk So I'm writing to knock you up onto the stage, shakes 'orrible lot for her and undertalented. thing is a regular feature. To me it knocking things chest all over the place, sings a Look at Blondie's last two is just a cover up for Red (Creep) you dislike. Which makes me as load of bull and opens her singles, "Call Me" and "Atomic" Starr to take the piss out of decent bad as you. I suppose you could mouth as wide as the Grand — I doubt very much whether groups, e.g. Dexy's, The Skids, ban freedom of speech. Canyon. Not that I have anything Debbie Harry spent many The Clash. As for the one about A Budding Intellectual But against her like, but, if look you sleepless nights dreaming up the Sid Vicious, I think that was Cynical Beauty From Aberdeen.

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Compiled by Bav Hiliier Joe Jackson Band Belfast Ulster Hall Tourists Dublin Stadium FRIDAY OCTOBER 17 Skids Canterbury Odeon Ml G«no Washington Aberdeen Pretenders London Hammersmith University Palais s Joe Jackson Band Carlisle Market Hall UFO Glasgow Apollo Tourists Leeds University UK Subs Gravesend Woodville Hall Skids Derby Assembly Rooms UB40 Liverpool Rotters Pretenders Sheffield City Hall Sector 27 Cheltenham Rotters UFO Edinburgh Odeon Siouxsie & The Banshees Bristol Rsvillos Birmingham Aston University Locarno

By John Foxx on Virgin Records

Miles away I'm walking in like someone else again Miles away I'm watching summer through an English rain

And I'm a new man when I walk away, it's crazy Shaking the daze from my head again

I know I must be Miles away, miles away Miles away, miles away

Miles away Goodbye Civilian I reassemble on the morning train I try to say . , . my voice just tumbles on a long delay

And as I walk out a new man appears, it's crazy By The Skids on Virgin Records Making new plans for the rest of me

I know I'm always Never been inside Miles away, miles away My passage is close Miles away, miles away Boys in the river Are dying from blows All the same We talk on telephones across the haze Say hello to civilian I'm miles away Say hello to the sail But the planes go glinting on their vapour trails

And I'm a new man when I walk away, it's crazy Ahways been outside Turning my head to the shine again The reason is here I'm waking up from Boys in the river Miles away, miles away The tide's drawing near Miles away, miles away

Say hello to civilian Words and music by John Foxx Say hello to the sail Reproduced by permission Island Music Ltd.

Chorus Goodbye to the order Goodbye to the shame Boys in the river The absolute game

Repeat chorus

Goodbye civilian, civilian Goodbye my friend

Never been living, never bean living As orderlies come, as orderlies come Boys in the river, boys in the river Have nowhere to run, nowhere to run

Say hello to civilian Say hello to the sail

Repeat chorus twice

Goodbye civilian, civilian Goodbye my friend

Repeat chorus twice

Words and music by T/ie Skids Reproduced by permission Virgin Music/Arnakata Music Ltd.