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Tammy Laforest: Mx. Bisexual RI 2017

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Tammy Laforest: Mx. Bisexual RI 2017 Tammy Laforest: Mx. Bisexual RI 2017 Tammy Laforest [See Tammy Laforest as our pin-up: http://motifri.com/pin-up-tammy-laforest-mx-bisexual-2017/] “It’s a gender-neutral word: it could mean genderless, it could mean girl, it could mean boy,” explains Tammy Laforest who in April was awarded the title “Mx. Bisexual Rhode Island 2017” by RI Pride‘s increasingly misnamed “Triple Crown” pageant (because it now awards more than three). Laforest pronounces “Mx.” by spelling out “M-X.” (The most common pronunciation is as a word either with a short “i” like “mix,” popular in the US, or with a schwa like “mucks,” popular in Britain.) Although first appearing in 1977, the need for the gender-neutral honorific in English has been recognized only recently, adopted in Britain by government agencies in the past decade and included in the Oxford English Dictionary in 2015. It received some traction in the 1980s, proposed as a universal replacement for all other gender-specific terms (including “Mr.”), much as “Ms.” supplanted “Miss” and “Mrs.” in the 1970s to eliminate the antiquated fixation on marital status. In current usage, “Mx.” is usually chosen by people who identify as non-binary gender. As recently as 2015, RI Pride awarded the title “Miss/Mr. Bisexual,” only later adopting “Mx.” Laforest identifies as cisgender female. “I’ve only had one person ask, ‘Oh, are you a boy?’” The honorific coincides with her concern about bi-erasure, the tendency to see bisexuals as either straight within opposite-sex relationships or gay within same-sex relationships. Speaking of her own experience, Laforest said, “When you are dating a woman you’re recognized as a lesbian. When you are dating a man you’re not recognized at all. When I was married to a man the church didn’t recognize my bisexuality and they just saw me as a straight person because that’s how I seemed… I didn’t have much of a struggle and it would seem that I looked straight and had all the privileges of a straight life. Whereas people who have always dated the same sex who are bisexual and decide to date the opposite sex, are almost shunned or erased… because some people around them in the LGBT community no longer see them as someone who struggles…” Her background was unusual, she acknowledges. “I got married at 18 and I was heavily involved in a small, Christian commune for five years… It was a significant part of my experience in my life. It gives me a unique view of the world and a connection to people that other people aren’t going to connect to, because everybody’s different. There’s quite a number of people like me and I’m glad I’m not in it anymore.” She empathizes with “a lot of people who have been kind of tricked into being there and feel the pain of coming out of it, and the betrayal like they were lied to. So it’s good to be able to comfort those people as they are going through the same journey as I did.” “I would say that it was part of my becoming an adult and it didn’t end well but it did start well, as with groups like this. They were really nice people who were just a little demanding, and it was pretty damaging.” That religious environment was, in its own way, accepting of the particular choices she made. “I’ve always been bisexual, even since I was 15. My closest friends always knew… I got married really young, and even he knew… even the church knew. When you’re in the church, you can marry a man and still be bi and you’re ‘doing the right thing.’” The man she married was her first boyfriend and she had two children with him. “I’m glad that I did come out of it because it was pretty toxic, but they were very supportive of me through my early mothering years, becoming an adult. I went there when I was 17 and I left five years later when I was 23. Those are the more difficult years of adulthood.” The break with the church was not easy, but she describes it today as literally life or death. “I had, I guess, a nervous breakdown. I realized I was kind of lying to myself. I didn’t actually realize it at first. I went to my doctor and I said, ‘I’m having all of these things happen. My hands are shaking. I’m having severe back pain. I’m having so many nightmares. What’s going on? Can you fix me?’ She was like, ‘What’s in your life that’s really stressful?’ And I’m like, ‘Nothing, I have a great life.’ [laughs] Then I thought, ‘Maybe I do have stress.’ It’s funny how that tremor immediately went away as soon as I left the church.” The separation and divorce was amicable. “I left the church and my marriage did not survive my leaving the church, because the church itself kind of kept me in this, this – it kept us contained to the same values and morals and ideas of my then-husband. When I left, I questioned a lot of things, but he never really questioned things: we were no longer compatible. We were very happy, actually, to separate. It was the right thing to do, a huge relief to both of us, and we parent our children quite well separately, after some figuring it out.” “I feel like a chapter closed last year. My divorce was final: my court day was in June, but three months later I got the paper. I’m still changing my name on things. Actually, it’s a slow process to change your name on every single thing that you’re associated with. I’m really glad to have my name back. I’m glad to close that chapter of my story and start over. It’s like I went back to being Tammy Laforest… I’m back to being Tammy Laforest again legally, and it’s beautiful, it’s all I wanted. I wanted to be Tammy Laforest again, I want to be myself, I wanted my old self back and all the previous associations with that. I was no longer going to be someone’s wife. This has nothing to do with the church, it has nothing to do with sexuality, it’s a matter of being in a marriage you don’t want to be in, and getting out of it was wonderful. I highly recommend it.” After separating from the husband she married very young, Laforest said she had the chance to date for the first time in her life. “It was a really new and exciting time for me with lots of free dinners because I was broke.” Asked to describe a particularly bad date, she said, “I went out with this one guy who showed up and he was wearing the worst outfit. Not that I’m ever wearing nice outfits, but this was just so, it was the worst sneakers. The whole conversation, we didn’t agree on anything. I didn’t feel like he was going to take care of me at all. I paid for his dinner, he let me pay. And this is not feminist at all, I know, but I want someone to take care of me, that’s the type of person I am. I will do and pay for you and everything, but not if it doesn’t happen in the beginning like that. It’s a male-female thing. I’ve always preferred it to be that way.” This led to the question, since she is very publicly bisexual, whether it was different dating men and women. With men, she laughed, “I’m not saying he should, but I won’t go out with him again” if he doesn’t pay. What about women? “No, I just fall madly in love with them. I want to be the one who pays for dinner, and I want to be the one who buys the flowers, and I want to open the door, because I know how I would want to be treated by a date, and I assume that she would like to be treated the same also, so I go out of my way to be the person that I always wanted my date to be. So far it has worked out for me. It feels really good to treat people that way.” She was never “in the closet,” but becoming “Mx. Bisexual” has made her very public. “I do hold the title. I’m very confident about my sexuality… I just feel like, before I was walking through the world and no one knew, and now it’s on my Facebook profile. I wear a sash that says it and I’m in a parade.” But, she said, the most important change is her girlfriend, Jeana DeLaire. “I became more confident as soon as I found my girlfriend because she’s lovely and I wanted everyone to know her.” It’s Laforest’s first long-term relationship with a woman and the only partner she has lived with other than her ex-husband. “I’m very in love, it’s a wonderful feeling.” Living together as a family is elating, she said. “I get so much pleasure out of cooking. That was probably the thing I missed the most during the year that I was single.
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