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sports, page 21

editorial and letters MARCH 19 2009

Editor-in-Chief: Jon Roe 403-220-7752 [email protected]

News Editor: Sarelle Azuelos 403-220-4318 [email protected] News Assistant: Morgan Haigler The suit against responsibility Entertainment: Amanda Hu 403-220-4376 [email protected] Entertainment Assistant: Jordyn Marcellus t is impossible to deny that Fetal Sports: Brad Halasz and Chris Pedersen 403-220-2298 Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is [email protected] an enormous problem. Nor that Opinions: Cam Cotton-O’Brien 403-220-2298 I [email protected] it demands swift and serious action.

Features: Katy Anderson 403-220-4376 Th e question of how to address it, [email protected] though, is not so clear. Speaking to Photography: Paul Baker 403-220-4376 [email protected] the CBC earlier this week, a pediatri- cian from Prince George suggested Production: Ryan May 403-220-2298 [email protected] that class action lawsuits should be Illustrations: Gina Freeman 403-220-2298 fi led on behalf of those suff ering [email protected] FASD against alcohol companies. Academic Probation: Ryan Pike 403-220-2298 [email protected] Again, while it is indisputable that something must be done, this par- Three Lines Free: Laura Bardsley 403-220-2298 [email protected] ticular proposal is deeply problem- Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 403-220-7380 atic. [email protected] Dr. Marie Hay advocated launch- Advertising Manager: John Harbidge 403-220-7751 [email protected] ing class action suits against alcohol

Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 403-220-7755 companies, hoping that the legal [email protected] battle would produce similar results Network Manager: Ben Li to the class actions against tobacco

Contributors companies: cut down on the pro- Roman Auriti • Isaac Azuelos • Lesley-ann Barrett pensity for this type of abuse tak- Silvia de Somma • Nicole Dionne • Josh Dyck • Kiva Ferraro Rinaldi Gulinao •Hoang-mai Hong • Rhiannon Kirkland ing place and increase the fi nancial Martin Lussier • Geoff MacIntosh • Eric Mathison Meagan Meiklejohn • Noah Miller • Mohammed Omar means for dealing with its resultant Daniel Pagan • Rudy Rocque • Sara Rooseboom Heidi Stobert • Andrew Swan problems. Th e comparison with

Golden Spatula the tobacco suits is interesting, but Mohammed Omar. For writing a great fi rst opinions piece and troubling. In that case, there was the ing. Th is leads directly to the major air of acceptability. It reinforces the alcohol companies for FASD cases helping out on Wednesday night. And Invisible Bob. For being so damn awesome at everything. problem of the nature of advertising problem indicated by this proposal notion that an individual can’t be is a poor decision. It would be Furor Arma Ministrat for those products and the dubious — the complete erosion of personal blamed for an action and as such much more appropriate, indeed Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre denials of the harm and addictive- responsibility that continues to in- can’t be in control of it. Th is is nec- benefi cial, to pursue other options. University of Calgary 2500 University Drive NW ness that accompanied smoking. In fect our culture. essary for the argument because if Educational opportunities for com- Calgary, AB T2N 1N4 General inquiries: 403-220-7750 the case of FASD, this does not seem Th ough Canadian litigiousness it were admitted that an individual munities experiencing higher than http://thegauntlet.ca to apply nearly as well. has not reached the absurd level that does have the power to avoid con- normal instances of FASD is a good The Gauntlet is the offi cial student newspaper of the University of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the Th e damage done to fetuses by it has in the United States, this type suming alcohol while pregnant, su- option. So is increasing the avail- Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body. Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the alcohol has not been expressly de- of case can only degrade us. It is not ing alcohol companies for FASD cas- ability of substance abuse programs U of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to contribute. Opinions contained herein are those of the individual nied and alcohol, though obviously the alcohol companies that are ul- es would be incoherent. Th is, then, for those who need it. Certainly writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet staff. Editorials are chosen by the majority of the editorial marketed, is not done so specifi cally timately responsible for the injuries actually promotes irresponsibility, there are many other options. board. The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, to pregnant women. Th e argument incurred by alcohol consumption claiming that women are powerless Th is is not a problem that can be libelous, or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve would seemingly have to be that it during pregnancy, but the moth- to take care of themselves and their solved by abdicating responsibility. the right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet follow a three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editor, is addictive and therefore women ers of those unfortunate children. yet-to-be-born off spring. It is not Just the opposite, actually. the GPS Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The complete Grievance Policy is online at: http://thegauntlet.ca. The Gauntlet who are drawn in by advertising Proposing a case like this eff ectively my fault that my child is sick, it is is printed on recycled paper and uses infl amatory musings in the small text based ink. We urge you to recycle/not burn the Gauntlet. and then become pregnant may diminishes their culpability in this yours. Cam Cotton-O’Brien

Letter Policy have been aff ected by that advertis- deplorable practice and gives it an Seeking legal recourse against Opinions Editor Letters must be typed, double-spaced and received by Monday at 4 p.m., and must include the author’s name, student ID number, telephone number and signature. Letters will not be printed if they include attacks of a strictly personal nature, statements that discriminate on the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, or libelous or defamatory material. All letters should be addressed to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer than 300 words. The Gauntlet retains the right to edit submissions. Editor, the Gauntlet: Beer, brats and Bach, study in Hamburg! Letters can be delivered or mailed to the Gauntlet offi ce, Room 319 MacEwan Students’ Centre, or sent by email to [email protected].

The Cover Th e University of Calgary recent- period of the exchange, pay tuition petitive basis through the Cen- through Germany’s famous ICE Photo and design by Geoff MacIntosh ly signed an exciting student and to their respective programs at tre for International Students and bullet trains — Berlin is only 90 faculty exchange with the Helmut- the U of C and receive credits (to Study Abroad, 275 MacEwan Hall. minutes away — and it annually Schmidt University in Hamburg, be predetermined by the U of C) Th e application deadline is March attracts four million visitors. In Germany. HSU, an entirely civilian for courses taken at HSU. Th ey are 30, 2009. Th e German Academ- short, a modern metropolis that university with civilian profes- expected to meet the language ic Exchange Service in Toronto offers all the amenities (museums, sors, is the main education institu- profi ciency of the Host University ([email protected]) also off ers Un- opera, theatres, sailing, profes- tion of the German armed forces — except in the PhD programs in dergraduate Scholarships for study sional sports) of a big city and yet (Bundeswehr). It off ers BA, MA Computer Science and Computer in Germany. is surrounded by verdant green and PhD programs in traditional Engineering, where HSU faculty Hamburg is a beautiful city fields and parks. areas such as Arts, Engineering, off er an all-English language pro- sitting astride the Elbe River in Detailed information on the ex- Sciences, International Relations gram. Th e exchange is designed North Germany. With 1.8 million change program can be obtained and Management; it off ers no pro- to remain small, high-quality, and people, it is Germany’s second from Colleen Packer, Study Abroad grams in military studies. personal, with two or three ex- largest and the European Union’s Advisor, 275 MacEwan Hall. Under the agreement, students change students per year. most populous non-capital city. will remain registered at the Uni- Studentships ranging from $500 Its harbor is the second largest Herbert Herwig versity of Calgary throughout the to $2,000 are available on a com- in Europe. It is well connected U of C Professor 4 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET Editor: Sarelle Azuelos—[email protected] news Bush comes to Calgary Mixed reactions from the crowd, shoes and toast welcome former president

Katy Anderson the speech, said Bush came across as Features Editor “It’s really, really sad that a very thoughtful, principled man. “Given the opportunity to explain erhaps the most powerful he was invited to Calgary a lot of the decisions that he made, man in the world for the last we can see that there’s a real ratio- Peight years, former president for lunch instead of getting nale behind them and I think he will of the United States George W. Bush, be judged more favourably by his- gave his fi rst speech since leaving of- arrested.” tory than perhaps most of the com- fi ce in Calgary on Tuesday. mentators in the press have given Th e setting outside the Telus -Nikki Baker, him credit for recently,” said Selby, Convention Centre was intense Protestor noting Bush was “certainly among as approximately 200 shoe-baring friends here in Calgary.” protestors rallied outside — four of Th e protesting crowd outside, whom were arrested — and at least however, indicated not all Calgar- two snipers were visible on the roof- ians were pleased Bush chose their top of a neighboring building. city as the friendliest option to test Th e Calgary Police Service sepa- out his speaking career. rated the activists from the 1,500 Protestors yelled at many of the guests who had paid $400 to hear guests, alleging they were com- the Texan speak. Guests included plicit to war crimes and should be members of Calgary’s economic ashamed of themselves for paying elite — one protestor suggested to a the large amount to dine with a friend that these were the real capi- criminal. talists, “all they were missing was a Nikki Baker, who held a sign call- monocle” — to two of Calgary’s al- ing for Bush to be arrested, said she dermen, John Mar and Ric McIvor, thought it was important that the and former-Alberta premier Ralph world saw that there are people in Klein. Calgary “who do not think Bush is Th e lunch not only garnered front welcome here,” noting the invitation pages in the city, but across the con- made the city look “barbaric.” tinent. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann “George Bush is an enormous war featured the event on his Count- criminal and he should be in jail,” down program, bringing Canadian she said. “I think it’s really, really sad Gail Davidson of Lawyers Against that he was invited to Calgary for the War onto his program. lunch instead of getting arrested. He Davidson led the fi ght in calling should be tried for war crimes.” for Stephen Harper, who declined to Not everyone at the event thought comment on Bush’s visit, to bar the of Bush’s visit in black and white former American president from terms. Peter Yates, a lawyer who re- Canada. ceived a ticket to the event from his Davidson told Olbermann and company, said, if nothing else, the Lindsay Goodwin/the Gauntlet his viewers that Canada has a legal speech was entertaining. obligation under the Convention 1,500 people paid $400 to see Bush speak at the Telus Convention Centre. A dual citizen, Yates registered to Against Torture to either prosecute vote in the 2004 U.S. election so he him or extradite him to a country principal remedies is criminal pros- thought the speech was “remark- of a camera and he just didn’t re- could vote against the unpopular that is willing and able to do so. ecutions of those people that are re- able.” late. He said very many of the same president. “Th e fact of the matter is, if we’re sponsible,” she said. “He had a grasp of the issues that things, but he didn’t say them as Yates said Bush reiterated a lot of going to look at stamping out tor- Conservative MP for Calgary- surprised me, frankly, from seeing awkwardly.” positions he’d already told, adding, ture, the torture created and admin- Centre Lee Richardson was on hand him on television and throughout Pengrowth Corporation vice- “It was as you’d expect from George, istered by the Bush administration for Tuesday’s lunch. Richardson said his presidency,” said Richardson. president Charles V. Selby, who had a lot of personal stories about grow- has to be remedied and one of the he wasn’t sure what to expect, but “He must have stiff ened up in front the opportunity to meet Bush before ing up on the farm.”

Should Canada try Bush for war crimes? campus quips

“Th at’s stupid and “My answer would “Uh, no. Even if “I don’t think we whoever thought be yes. Basically.” we’re well within should because of that should feel – Izza Humayun, our legal rights, the when I think of war stupid.” fi rst-year retaliation from the crimes, I think of – David Knippers, engineering States would be the Holocaust.” fi ft h-year overwhelming.” – Katie Rudolf, chemistry and com- – Jeff Yip, fi rst-year fi rst-year English puter science engineering Interviews: Joseph Tubb, Photographs: Geoff MacIntosh GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 19.09 5 Centralized applications for post-secondary on the way

Ryan Pike AP Editor

tudents applying to Alberta universities will soon have Sfewer hoops to jump through, thanks to a streamlined application process set to launch in the fall. Apply Alberta is a program that will process applications to Alber- ta’s 21 post-secondary institutions through a government-run website designed to centralize the process. Advanced Education and Technol- ogy Minister Doug Horner noted that while the initiative was origi- nally driven by universities, the passage of the Access to the Future Act in 2005 allowed the provincial Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet government to get involved. Horner hopes the website with be useful for students. “When I became minister a cou- ple of years ago and I saw what they for students to use,” said Weath- for each school still,” said Weather- were doing, it became pretty clear erbee. “Th ey’re going to have to bee. “I understand right now that’s to me that you could turn this into communicate well with incoming how they’re doing it, but in the fu- an application that could be tre- students and high school students ture it’d be nice to see that cleaned mendously useful for students,” said [and] transfer students.” up for students, too.” Horner. “Both in respect of fi guring Weatherbee admitted that while Horner said that Apply Alberta’s out what institution they should be Apply Alberta will reduce student initial roll-out will have basic func- going to or should be applying to, stress by providing one location tionality — applicants will be able to but also in insuring that you don’t to apply, costs will not be reduced create a profi le, apply to schools and have to fi ll out the forms 15 times.” initially. Horner said that the user send their transcripts out through a University of Calgary Students’ costs of Apply Alberta are in line single source rather than being pro- Union vice-president academic with a similar system in Ontario. cessed separately. However, more Pamela Weatherbee said that the Weatherbee noted that existing fees features will be added pending user introduction of Apply Alberta will will be consolidated, but recom- feedback. make the application process easier mends looking at ways to reduce “We serve three clients in our sys- for incoming students, although the costs in the future. tem: students, taxpayers and soci- system may take some getting used “I think [one application fee] ety, and we need feedback from our to. would be more benefi cial instead of clients if we’re going to provide the “I think it’s a really easy service a student coming in and paying fees best possible service,” said Horner. Campus assailant sentenced to four years

Heidi Stobert Gauntlet News

Th e man who beat and sexually assaulted a woman at the University of Calgary in November 2007 was recently sentenced to more than four years in prison. However, he will be back on Calgary streets in only two years. On Nov. 24, 2007, a young woman Paul Baker/the Gauntlet was followed from a downtown LRT WRC programer Kelln said the case was especially worrisome. station to campus by then 43-year- old Derek Ross Calf-Child. When charged with sexual assault caus- While in custody Calf-Child was the woman left the train, he followed ing bodily harm. Last week he was recorded in his jail cell saying that her and threw her to the ground. She sentenced to 56 months in prison he wanted to suck the woman’s toes was punched in the face and fondled by Court of Queen’s Bench Jus- and that he would go aft er the vic- by the accused, but her screams were tice Bryan Mahoney. Mahoney tim again if he were to see her on the heard by a university security guard granted Calf-Child double credit train, according to a March 9 Cal- and professor who chased and tack- for time he has already served in gary Herald article. led the accused when he attempted the Calgary Remand Centre. Calf- “I needed a woman,” he said. “Ev- to fl ee the scene. Child will serve two more years in ery time I ask somebody to go out Calf-Child was arrested and jail and three years probation. see Assault, page 7 6 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET NEWS Mustard Seed finds a new home Rhiannon Kirkland $80 and $90 million budgeted for the project ing that this is aff ordable housing and not a Gauntlet News Fliss said. shelter,” said Mar. “By doing that we were able Th e provincial government has promised to win the support unanimously of all mem- ast week, the City of Calgary planning to contribute $21.5 million to the project, ac- bers of council as well as the Calgary Plan- commission approved the Mustard cording to Alderman John Mar. ning Commission.” LSeed Street Ministry’s application for a Th e aff ordable housing project is part of Some of the 371 individuals currently stay- proposed aff ordable housing development in Calgary’s Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness, ing at the Mustard Seed’s emergency shelter the Beltline. Th e 19-story building will feature modeled aft er Portland, Oregon’s plan of the in the southeast or who are involved in Mus- 228 units of aff ordable housing and include same name. Aff ordable housing is a key part tard Seed programs will be eligible to become ground-level retail space as well as three sto- of Portland’s plan, said Mar. residents. ries for Mustard Seed Street Ministry educa- “[Portland is] in their fourth year and as a Successful applicants will be decided on an tion and employment services. result they’ve seen over a 70 per cent reduc- individual basis, Fliss said. Th e building will “We have over 4,000 men and women that are Gauntlet fi le photo tion in the homeless population,” said Mar. be alcohol and drug free. living on the streets and if you just look at our Their new space will have beds for 228. Th e Mustard Seed’s original proposal in- “A ff ordable housing is a signifi cant part of own population, sometimes up to 60 per cent cluded 425 units, which was cut to 228 because what we do,” said Fliss. “We recognize that of our guests are working,” said spokesper- there isn’t aff ordable housing for them.” some members of the community raised con- having a place to call home for our guests is son Courtney Fliss. “Th ey’re dependant on Th e Mustard Seed hopes to begin con- cerns over shelter space being included. really one of the fi rst steps to helping some- the emergency shelter system solely because struction in spring 2010 and has between “We’ve addressed those [issues] by ensur- one truly move forward in their lives.” Canada after Afghanistan, peacekeeping role a myth

Chris ‘Doc’ Pedersen that should have an amphibious ex- keeping reputation, we had over diately carry troops to a crisis. nancial troubles and it would take Sports Editor peditionary capability, it should be 10,000 highly mechanized troops “Ralph Fisher, Admiral Harry co-ordination between all three Canada,” said MacKenzie. in the central front of Europe, navy Porter and myself put together a branches of the military to see the When the war in Afghanistan Starting his speech with a light- at sea worldwide, airforce domi- thing called Seahorse [in 1993],” creation of an amphibious assault ends, Canada will need a new poli- hearted tone, it then became more nating over Canadian airspace and said MacKenzie. “Th e whole idea force. cy to deal with international crises. serious as MacKenzie turned to the participating over European air- was to have an assault ship on “What’s now happened with Af- Retired Major General Lewis myths of Canada’s role in peace- space armed with nuclear weapons. each coast. Th at ship would have ghanistan is the reduction of funds MacKenzie spoke at the Mili- keeping. Th at was our number one foreign 1,000 to 1,100 soldiers, helicop- in the three services; army, navy tary Museums in Calgary on At the height of the cold war, policy priority, not peacekeeping.” ters, vehicles, medical facilities and air force,” said MacKenzie. March 5 to discuss the role of Can- Canada’s priority was not peace- MacKenzie believes that Canada and it would be available for rapid “It is understandable that the two ada’s military in the world aft er the keeping, but protection of Western needs to respond to international deployment.” generals and admiral are fi ghting Afghanistan confl ict. His speech ideals against communism. crises quickly, with no delay in ar- Canada now has the troops and for survival fi nancially. You need focused on the creation of an am- “Th e big myth, number one Ca- ranging transport or fi nding ships. equipment to handle international the three of them backing the con- phibious task force, designed to nadian myth — we’re a peacekeep- He wrote an essay early in his problems, but action is delayed cept together for an amphibious respond to international situations. ing nation,” said MacKenzie. “Bull career, arguing that Canada need- due to transportation problems. force.” “Of all the countries in the world crap. At the height of our peace- ed two assault ships to imme- “It is a real tragedy because we MacKenzie speculated there is have this Canadian expeditionary another reason that the amphibi- force on 10 days notice to move,” ous force has been relegated to the said MacKenzie. “We have every- backburner. thing to undertake a particular “Th e odds are not good that it’s mission except the lift , the ship.” going to be approved because of With the current war in Af- one other factor, [the 2010] Olym- ghanistan, the military is in fi - pics,” he said. GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 19.09 7 Eel porn squirms its way into MacHall

Morgan Haigler screening which will feature Th e and sexual empowerment for wom- News Assistant Vice Guide to Sex: Genki and the Art en in the WRC from 4–6 p.m. of Eel Porn and Young People Fuck- “We think that this is a really good ex! It’s a steamy topic that gets ing, Queer Community Resource place to host a sex toy workshop,” talked about as frequently as Panel, the Snowboard Club’s annual said Kelln. “Talking about sexual Sthe Facebook craze, but do stu- Porn Star Cab, Queer Speed Dating empowerment and owning your dents understand it as well as they and four separate Photo/Voice Ex- own body and knowing yourself should? hibits. because this is a safe place on cam- To address sex in a fun and cre- Jocelyn Kelln, the program as- pus — non-judgemental, open and ative way, the University of Calgary sistant for the Women’s Resource welcoming. I think that really aligns Students’ Union will run a series of Centre, said her team will be host- with [the WRC’s] values.” activities in and around the MacE- ing Sex Toys for Single Women, Th e WRC also plans to set up a wan Student Centre during Sexual which will introduce the women’s booth at the Sex Fair on March 24 Awareness Week. Th e events will positive sex boutique, A Little More in the north courtyard. Kelln said take place March 23–27. Interesting. the WRC will off er information about Activities include a Belly Danc- Th e shop will promote sex prod- reproduction, sexual health resourc- ers Studio Sublime performance, a ucts made from non-toxic materi- es and a chance to play some trivia Culturally Sexy panel discussion, als, including medical grade silicone games. the Sex Fair, Love Knows No Gen- and elastomer. A Little More Inter- Additionally, the WRC plans to der dance party and drag queen and esting owner Sue Naylen Sorrell is have AIDS Calgary talk about Shift king show, a Perogies and Porn fi lm scheduled to discuss body image — a program that helps sex trade Daniel Pagan/the Gauntlet workers reduce harm to themselves Valentine gives David a massage after a long day’s work. and improve their quality of life. Two fi lm screenings will be shown aspect like we weren’t just focusing about people outside of the hetero- Assault, cont’d from pg. 5 through the campus-sanctioned on birth control or what it means by sexual norm.” club Feminist Initiative Recogniz- safe sex,” she said. “We attempted to SU vice-president events Luke Val- with me, they don’t want to.” er than about sexual gratifi cation,” ing Equality on March 24 and 26 at touch upon the entire spectrum of entine said he’s excited about this Jocelyn Kelln, a program assistant said Kelln. 5 p.m. Th e fi rst will address violence, sex and sexuality and what it means.” year’s Sexual Awareness Week and from the U of C’s Women’s Resource Th ird-year communication and media and the crisis of masculinity Co-chair of the U of C Queers on hopes that students will develop a Centre, expressed her concerns culture student Jacqueline Smith and the second is about the medical- Campus club Jasmine Ing added that healthier attitude towards their own about the troubling nature of this thought the sentence was too le- ization of pregnancy and midwifery. an anti-homophobia campaign is in sexuality. case. In most sexual assault cases nient. FIRE vice-president of events the works as well. “I think [Sexual Awareness Week] the victim knows their attacker, but “[Calf-Child’s] sentence defi nitely Delshani Peiris said Sexual Aware- “I think that [the activities] bring is important because a lot of stu- in this particular case the attacker says something about our justice ness Week is interesting because an important dimension to sexual dents have sex and it’s important to was unknown to the victim. She system and where their priorities it covers a broad range of sexual awareness, to the school,” said Ing. show sex in a positive way instead also pointed out that the motivation lie,” she said. awareness issues. “We don’t really think you can talk of saying, ‘Don’t have sex, don’t do behind this type of attack isn’t just Th at Calf-Child will be out of jail “We weren’t focusing on just one about sexuality without talking that,’ ” he said. about fulfi lling the sexual needs of in just two years and that he admit- the attacker and this case in particu- ted he would want to attack again lar is a perfect example. leaves an uneasy feeling for students “Th e judge in this case specifi cally and the public. noted that the accused was moti- “[Th e police] can just catch him vated by his anger against women, again,” said Calgarian Michelle illustrating . . . that sexual violence is Fong. “Unfortunately someone will more about power and control rath- probably suff er for it.” 8 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET NEWS NNewsews forfor thethe unnewsedunnewsed Spandex reappears on Rudy Rocque and Joseph Tubb dents being charged with trespass- Th e move overturns the policy campus Gauntlet News ing. of the George W. Bush administra- Th e six students will be in court tion, which blocked federal fund- Roman Auriti Shoe thrower handed three-year early November. ing on human embryonic stem cell Gauntlet News sentence lines created aft er August 2001. Muntadhar al-Zaidi, the Iraqi Madoff pleads guilty to $50 bil- Th e decision is being praised What is more satisfying when journalist who threw his shoes at lion fraud scheme by scientists and other advocates it’s pumped up with air and rides former President George W. Bush, United States fi nancier Bernard of stem cell research who believe smoother than a vibrating bed, es- was sentenced by an Iraqi court to Madoff pleaded guilty March 12 to that funding for research could pecially when it isn’t cooped up in three years in prison for assaulting all 11 charges pertaining to fi nan- lead to a number of medical break- some dark corner of your basement Roman Auriti/the Gauntlet a foreign leader. Dhia al-Saadi, the cial fraud worth $50 billion. Th e throughs. where no one can see it? Well, one head lawyer of al-Zaidi’s defence 70-year-old Madoff , who headed However, the decision to over- thing comes to mind and it’s defi - A bike library is coming soon. team, promised to appeal his client’s Bernard L. Madoff Investment turn the congressional ban has been nitely a bicycle. sentence. He said the verdict “is Securities, ran a Ponzi scheme met with considerable opposition Th e Bicycle Root, the University mote a sense of community, foster harsh and is not in harmony with in which early investors were by a number of religious groups. of Calgary’s own volunteer-oriented healthy lifestyles and also promote the law,” according to a March 12 paid off with the money of new and driven bicycle shop, began op- environmental sustainability. CBC article. clients. Helicopter crash off the coast of erations in September to promote “Beyond fi xing bikes, we are Al-Zaidi has been in police Th e scheme, Madoff admitted, Newfoundland claims 17 bicycling and environmental sus- launching in a week the lending li- custody since the infamous shoe began in the early 1990s and de- On the morning of March 12, tainability. brary,” said Ayer. throwing incident occurred on frauded thousands of investors, a helicopter carrying 18 people “[Th e Bicycle Root was] found- Th e bicycle library will let any- Dec. 14 and had faced a maximum many of which lost their life sav- crashed into the Atlantic Ocean 87 ed back in August, inspired by body borrow a bike and return it sentence of 15 years. ings as a result. Madoff is set to be kilometres off the coast of New- the Right to Move Collective in within a few days. sentenced in June and faces a maxi- foundland aft er it reported techni- Montreal,” explained Lance Ayer, Visitors will also have access to Pro-life plans second coming mum sentence of 150 years. cal problems. a founding member. “[I was] just couches, a minifridge and bike-re- Campus Pro-Life released a Th e S-92 Sikorsky helicopter hanging out in Montreal and stum- lated art. statement Monday announcing Obama ends ban on stem cell re- was transporting workers from bled upon that place and thought “Cycling is so important, so huge, that they will return to campus search funding St. John’s to oil platforms in the it was awesome. I thought Calgary for a student, it can really lead March 25 and 26. U.S. President Barack Obama White Rose and Hibernia oil fi elds. needed something like that.” to a successful university experi- Th e controversial Genocide made a monumental reversal in Despite the eff orts of an air and Th e Bicycle Root is hosting its ence,” he said. “It helps stay active, Awareness Project display com- U.S. policy March 9 when he issued sea rescue operation launched by grand opening event at 4 p.m. on it helps get around, it helps to have pares abortion to the Holocaust an executive order that removed the Canadian Coast Guard, only March 21, with live music at the a social network. It’s very aff ord- and the Rwandan genocide using a congressional ban on federal one person was found alive at the Den at 6 p.m. able, it’s very easy to get involved graphic images. It led to six stu- funding for stem cell research. scene of the crash. Ayer explained that their man- in and it tends to compliment date was threefold. He hopes to pro- university study very well.” GAUNTLET MARCH 19.09 9 opinions Editor: Cam Cotton-O’Brien—[email protected] Ehud Olmert must pay, literally

area half the size of Calgary that has one of the highest population densities in the world. The IDF Mohammed Omar said the targets of this operation Gauntlet Opinions were Hamas militants who con- tinued to fire rockets into south- ern Israel. Unfortunately, the he recent siege of Gaza by main victims of the conflict were the Israeli Military left the the women and children of Gaza. Tworld in a state of shock. Th e severity of the confl ict and With a death toll between 1,250 its massive human and material and 1,400, not to mention 4,000 costs could have led to the al-Sa- injured, more than one third of mouni family’s decision to sue the who were children, it is a tragedy Israeli PM. Th ey feel powerless. that has gone by with little repara- Th ey are powerless. Th e al-Samou- tions to those affected. nis say Israeli soldiers raided their But according to Al Jazeera Eng- homes in the middle of the confl ict lish, perhaps the only English news and moved the extended family to- channel that reported directly gether into one house. According from Gaza during the siege, a Pal- to the survivors’ accounts, the Is- ing herself with hot coffee, then Should everyone start their own against F-16 missiles and heavy estinian family that lost 29 family raeli military then fi red shells and surely they too could get compen- lawsuit? Do they stop complain- artillery. Regardless, innocent members in the recent siege is su- missiles towards the house the fol- sation for their loss. ing about the economic blockade lives were lost and things are not ing Israeli Prime Minister Ehud lowing day, leaving 29 dead. While it is understandable that a on Gaza and the constant showers getting any better. Olmert for $200 million in dam- The al-Samounis must have family that lost 29 members would of attacks because they get com- Will the al-Samouni’s lawsuit ages for “criminal want compensa- pensated? If the IDF decides to be taken seriously? And if it is, do negligence.” tion, asking for wipe out a whole city in the West they have a chance of winning? In Decem- Assuming this lawsuit is actually $200 million, or Bank some day, do they just stick Both of those questions are irrel- ber 2008, Israel any amount of $5 bills on to each missile and bul- evant. The main question lies in launched Operation taken seriously, it would mean money, in return let? if there will be similar hopeless, Cast Lead against is a very danger- Mohammad Fukra, a Palestin- desperate acts for compensation Hamas, the political the family is willing to value the ous request. As- ian Israeli attorney, filed the law- in the future. party that controls suming this law- suit and said that the family had This family’s story, the remain- the Gaza strip, in de- loss of 29 loved ones at a mere suit is actually the right to sue Israel and its of- der of whom live in a tent amid fence of itself against taken seriously, ficials. In response to that, Mark the rubble of their former home, Hamas-launched $200 million. it would mean Regev, an Israeli government is a sign of how awful the situation rockets that terror- the family is spokesman, claimed that Hamas is for the population of the Gaza ized its citizens. The willing to value was responsible for the family’s Strip. This lawsuit can be sym- Israeli Defence Forces used fight- thought that if the American lady the loss of 29 loved ones at a mere loss by using civilians as human bolic at most and indicates that er jets, tanks, infantry and contro- who sued McDonald’s in 1994 $200 million. What would this shields. Perhaps Regev forgot that something must be done to alter versial white phosphorus all in an could get $2.86 million for burn- mean to the rest of Palestinians? humans aren’t the best shields this status quo we live in. Don’t read this article: IT SUCKS! A restaurant’s creative response to distasteful reviews

they eat. While many small business- a customer depends on a variety of and Anne Stoll, holds an esteemed T-shirt or did they have a bad expe- es may feel voiceless against the poor factors, some of which may not even four out of fi ve star rank with Yelp rience? Th ey can’t trust it — it takes reviews they receive, Pizzeria Delfi na, concern the restaurant. In such cases, users. However, sift ing through away Yelp’s power.” Meagan Meiklejjohnohn a Mission District institution in San said person who is particularly impa- some 623 comments, bitter remarks In addition to providing a voice Word Playa Francisco, boldly advertises these cri- tient would have a completely diff er- do come up. “Th is place sucks,” and, to small businesses as they struggle tiques on staff T-shirts in an attempt ent experience than someone happy- “Th e pizza was soooo greasy. I am with Yelp, creatively advertising to lessen the seriousness of the site. go-lucky who is just thankful that assuming this was in part due to the harsh comments has proved to be Remember when you were told Started in San Francisco, Yelp has someone else is cooking. With this pig fat,” are two Yelps that have been a masterful marketing tactic. Cre- that if someone makes fun of you it’s grown into an online epidemic that in mind, Yelp’s credibility is question- proudly reprinted on staff mem- ating a trend among fellow restau- because they like you? Regardless of has many restaurant owners feel- able. While potential diners may ben- bers T-shirts for all to see. Th e mo- rants, Pizzeria Delfi na’s hate-shirts whether they like you or not, what ing attacked by less-than-thrilled efi t from reading the experiences of tive behind this publicity stunt was have amplifi ed their popularity. Not counts is that you have got them talk- customers. However, like much of unhappy customers, small businesses not to advertise their restaurant in only do they catch the attention of ing. Good or bad, being the hot topic what is posted on the Internet, view- are kept out of the loop as to how a bad light, but to turn the negative potential customers and remind of discussion gives you more cards ers should read these comments their reviews are ranked and whether reviews they receive into jokes. As a current ones to return, they spark in your hand than you would think. with a critical eye. Similar to a blog- every one submitted is posted. Fur- result, some believe that users may curiosity as to why any business Restaurant reviews operate in much ging site, Yelp is a resource available thermore, Yelp lacks control over consider this a challenge to write the would do such a thing. Naturally, the same way. Yelp.com, a popular for people to express the opinions who sends in evaluations. For all the funniest or worst remarks in an at- the only way to fi nd out is to go to review site critiquing businesses in they have about their personal ex- owners know, competing restaurants tempt to get them on a T-shirt. the restaurant yourself, instead of 24 U.S. cities, off ers an outlet for im- periences. With personal being the could be targeting them in an attempt “Th at’s kind of the point,” Anne relying on Yelp for an answer. All pressed or distressed customers to operative word, opinions are formu- to promote their own business. Stoll told the New York Times Bits things considered, it seems Yelp’s voice their opinions about the places lated subjectively. Th e enjoyment of Pizzeria Delfi na, owned by Craig Blog. “Are they doing it to get on a bark is worse than its bite. 10 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET OPINIONS the fi fth estate investigates the death of Brandon Crisp It’s not what fans of games want to hear

and mystique of the professional video gaming circuit as another con- tributing factor. Regardless of opin- Andrew Swan ion as to whether or not video games 8bit are to blame in this situation, we fi nd ourselves at a crossroads. No longer can we deny the power- indsight is 20/20. In the ful nature of the video game medium. case of the tragic story of Games have quickly become the pre- HBrandon Crisp, hard les- miere form of escapist entertainment, sons have been learned and those as they facilitate our desire for new we must now take it upon ourselves experiences in poignant ways. By de- to learn are more important than sign, video games fulfi ll just that: the ever. It is easy under such terribly opportunity to enter into an alternate tragic circumstances as the death reality, oft entimes diff erent, but some- of Crisp to have an intense desire times similar to our own. We can ex- to answer unanswerable questions. perience enriching narratives or sim- In the case of a recent episode of ply cut loose and de-stress. Either way, CBC’s the fi ft h estate, the fi rst place the infl uence that this medium has is in which to fi nd answers, and thus undeniable and in no uncertain terms to shoulder the blame, are video this has been proven through the trag- games themselves. edy of Brandon Crisp. Fift een-year-old Crisp ran away But where do we go from here? from home Oct. 13, 2008 aft er his Th ere needs to be a greater em- parents took away his Xbox 360 phasis placed on understanding and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare the content of video games and, as game. Th ree weeks later, a party of a result, the rating system that is in hunters discovered Crisp’s body in a place. Th e rating system for video fi eld. He had died from chest injuries games is a safeguard in much the consistent with falling out of a tree. same way as the rating system is In the fi ft h estate’s hour-long re- for fi lm and they translate in nearly port on Crisp entitled “Top Gun,” identical ways. It is more important there was, of course, a degree of bias. than ever to understand that certain Th ere were no constructive sugges- games do have questionable content tions for parents to inform them- and some younger individuals will the children, teenagers and even staggering heights; not only in the should not be quick to blame them selves about what is in the games not have the coping mechanisms to adults who play them. However, design, look and feel of the game it- whenever we get the chance, but they allow their children to play, nor deal with it. Careful consideration despite this uncertainty there still self, but in the messages and narra- we should refl ect upon the actions suggestions for how to prevent such must be given to video games, es- remains a large gap between the tives that are conveyed. Th ey must of ourselves and others in regard to a tragedy from occurring again in pecially ones rated mature, not just perception of what video games are be respected as such or else we run video games to make inroads into the future. Instead, the fi ft h estate because it is a good thing to do, but and what they have become. Video the risk of abusing their intention. understanding just how consequen- stopped just short of condemning because the medium demands it. games are no longer simply Mario If anything, the lesson is that tial this medium has become. By the entire video game industry for Uncertainty surrounds the content trying to save the princess. Th ey are video games are complex, infl uen- doing so, we will not allow Brandon the death of Crisp, while at the same of video games and there is concern a powerful and important media tial and can be compelling when Crisp to die in vain. time alluding to the powerful allure about the eff ects of video games on form whose complexity has reached consumed in large amounts. We Such is the power of hindsight. GAUNTLET OPINIONS MARCH 19.09 11

Rated R for ridiculous Breaking the bad news to 13-year-olds anyone being able to question your decisions, all the while earning a fat government pay cheque. Th e infl u- Kiva Ferraro ence of the classifi cation of a movie Gauntlet Opinions on its commercial success at the box offi ce is no secret. Giving this power to one person just screams a) he Alberta government is for under the table bribes for a fa- revamping the Amusement vourable rating, b) for indirect cen- TAct, which governs the way sorship based on the individual’s fi lms are rated in this province and personal tastes, c) a gigantic waste sets up age requirements for view- of money, d) all of the above. ing movies with adult content. Exposing minors to graphic vio- Presently, a panel at the Alberta lence, sex and language is not a Film Commission, a governmen- trivial issue, but we already have tal body, rates theatre fi lms, while inspectors for just this thing: par- rentals are classifi ed based on the ents. Th e issue would be better average rating of a fi lm nationwide. addressed by running a public Th e current range of classifi cations awareness campaign to educate are: General (G), think Walt Disney; or remind parents about the ef- Parental Guidance (PG), contains fects graphic material can have on bloodless fi ghting or sexual in- young people. If more inspectors nuendos; under-14 requires adult are needed anywhere, or a czar of accompaniment (14A), has lots anything created, the eff ort should of swearing, relatively bloodless be put towards a larger and more fi ghting or perceived sexual activ- pressing issue, like regulating the ity (what’s happening under those development of the tar sands. Per- sheets!?); under-18 requires adult no statistics for Alberta, there were Police! Now hand over the tape nice lead to angry and frustrated parents haps if there were more inspec- accompaniment (18A), movies a number of complaints in Ontario. and slow like!”). An executive di- in the ticket lines. How many of you tors around last April, Syncrude’s with drug use, excessive gore (i.e. In one year, out of an estimated 30 rector position, dubbed “fi lm czar” had government issued photo ID noise makers would have been ac- surgery with a hacksaw) or crude million theatre admissions in On- in the press, will also be created before you turned 16? (“Okay, off to tive and prevented the deaths of sexual material (there’s thrusting tario, 12 people (possibly the same with the power to unilaterally clas- the movies. Money, check. Snacks 500 ducks. But then, a 13-year-old going on); restricted to 18 and over person 12 times) complained about sify or reclassify fi lms. hidden in pocket, check. Passport, seeing some big screen nipples is (R), graphic anything basically; and youth viewing 18A fi lms. Alberta’s Th e number of problems and check.”) Furthermore, if a fi lm is more of a concern. Th ink I am be- fi nally Adult or XXX for the layman. solution to this perceived threat is lapses in common sense associated considered so psychologically dam- ing a bit too facetious? Th e maxi- While we rarely see an R-rated Bill-18, which will disallow kids with Bill-18 are only attainable by aging that the government feels it mum fi ne a theatre would face for movie in theatres, movies with an under 14 in to 18A fi lms even if an government. If kids under 14 are must decide for parents whether letting someone under 14 view an 18A classifi cation are common. adult is present. To enforce the new able to get into 18A movies now, a child under 14 can view the 18A movie with his or her parent Undoubtedly, many under-18 do rules, Alberta’s Culture Minister how will things change with the fi lm, why not just rate the fi lm R? will be $100,000. Th e maximum attend these movies with an adult, will hire movie inspectors with the new law? Th eatre staff will have to Th e most ridiculous of all is the fi lm fi ne Syncrude faces under Alberta’s but apparently there is a growing authority to fi ne theatre staff and demand photo ID from everyone czar position. Now this is a job I Environment Protection and En- problem of unaccompanied youth companies for violations, in addi- who looks under 18, even if a par- want. Sit around watching movies hancement Act is $500,000. Yeah, viewing 18A fi lms. While there are tion to confi scating fi lms (“Movie ent is present, which will no doubt and rating them without the risk of that seems balanced. University Policies Need to Keep With the Times done online. Another technological advancement behalf of the students we represent, is Pamela A student should not be expected to increasingly used in the classroom is the encouraging clear and direct guidance to constantly apply dated University policies “clicker” – a personal, portable remote students from the University about these Weatherbee to changing technology and teaching each student can use to interact during tools. VP Academic methods. lectures with their faculty member and This Wednesday, we hosted the 3rd ast week’s Facebook incident saw Not keeping policies in line with our every class. Some faculty members are even annual Discussion Deli and two of our an undergraduate student placed changing technologies used in academics using the “clicker” for in-class quizzing for topic questions dealt specifically with these Lon academic probation for six presents unending challenges. grades or participation mark. However, issues. We will use this information to make months due to Facebook comments about For example, a student writes an online what happens if a student can’t afford recommendations and find solutions along an instructor. The event puts the spotlight exam for an economics course, receives a a clicker or doesn’t have a credit card to with the University to these ambiguous on how rapid change, technology, and the contested grade, and wishes to appeal. The register it, or if batteries run out during and important challenges that students are internet are affecting academic policy and student approaches his faculty member to an exam? Furthermore, should a clicker facing. how the University is responding. appeal the grade and when the US-based become mandatory for class? Undergraduates use of Facebook, Twitter, company providing the software for the These are just a few issues that students e-grading and podcasts has increased online exam is contacted, they inform her and members of the University community rapidly and our University policies are out- that it’s not their responsibility to keep need to proactively consider rather than of-date. Several faculties are turning to the grades on file, directly violating our awkwardly reacting. wireless clickers for class work, others are University policy and leaving both the The Students’ Union is concerned by using online testing and grading, and much faculty member and the student between the slow policy response to these and of our personal and group work is being a rock and a hard place. other technological changes. The SU, on www.su.ucalgary.ca

The SU View is provided by the Students’ Union and printed without Gauntlet editorial revision. 12 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET OPINIONS Erotic resort: tales of lust in Mexico Bringing a new meaning to the term “all-inclusive”

areas), sexy fun place for anyone you’re in balmy Mexico right by from age 21 to 81. the ocean. When you’ve had too I would recommend the resort much sun you can cozy up with Lesley-ann Barrett to anyone who is not a jealous Mr./Mrs. Right/Right Now and Gauntlet Sexpert person. Th e nightly entertainment enjoy your choice of the two free includes a casino night with fake porn stations. Th is resort works to chips and the only way you can ensure your orgasms at Tempta- f you’ve not been able to experi- get more is if you take off your tion are never forgotten. ence the energy and adventure top. Th ere is a karaoke contest and Temptation is an arous- Iof an all-inclusive vacation yet, of course what sexy resort doesn’t ing resort that can make I suggest that you start saving for have some pole and lap dancing for anyone feel sexy — and next year. Th e market off ers vaca- the guests. a little horny too. tioners an assortment of packages Th e food is above average with Th is is a vacation for to choose from that will fulfi ll any diff erent buff et off erings daily. In- those that crave romance, desire. I recently visited a specifi - cluded in your price is the choice fun and erotica, all at a cally adults only resort. When my to make reservations at any of the great price (less than $1,300 partner suggested it, I did some fi ve restaurants. I highly encour- per person). Th e resort has a research and thought it could be a age trying them all. In the day by motto that you can hear the lot of fun for the open-minded or the sexy pool, the only place where guests shouting, “Nobody the single. I got in touch with the being topless is allowed, they have knows you and nobody resort and they met with me for a belly dancing classes, yoga and a gives a shit!” Th ese are words tour and history while there. new contest for the guests every- to live by when you escape your Th e company, Original Resorts, day that usually involves drinking everyday life and slip into your off ers four diff erent themes from if you lose. idea of fantasy. Give this place the family oriented to full-out part- Every room is decorated in con- chance to turn you on, you will not ner swapping; I thought I was in temporary furniture, with sexy be disappointed. the swap resort at fi rst and I have red lighting on the wall and night- to say I don’t share well. It turned stands. Th e rooms admittedly have out we were staying in Desire, an a humid, musty feel, however, If you have any questions for Lesley-ann, please send adults-only, topless (in restricted there is air conditioning and hey, them to [email protected]. Reconsidering the recession Each morning I read a multiplicity selves adequately on their meager is cruel. To predict every other day man triumph over adversity, of of articles in which “recession” ap- (if existent) summer earnings. Do that we will be out of this hole in six the resilience of communities, of pears at least once per sentence and I care? Obviously. But I, along with months, only to predict it’s deepen- the limitless opportunities arising Sara Rooseboom writers imply that we will all soon every other person on this planet ing the next, is even worse. I have in this crisis, amidst all the doom Gauntlet Opinions be eating SPAM-knockoff s and po- with some form of social contact, only one thing to say about these and gloom? Has optimism become tato peelings, typically concluding already know this is happening. fl ip-fl op, nonsense predictions — passé? with a “be scared . . . be very scared” Most of us, in fact, never even need- economics is not a science. It does Yes, the recession is painful. Yes, Each morning I pick up the pa- in one form or another. ed to be told. It’s pretty clear that the not follow any laws of nature (in those of us at the bottom will, as al- per as I catch the train to campus I, for one, am tired of it. I am tired economic shit has hit the fan when your face, Friedmanites!). We got to ways, hurt the most. Yes, times are or work. Each day, it seems, there of being constantly bombarded we lose our jobs, can’t fi nd another, where we are as the result of human tough. No, our world is not com- is nothing new to read. I am begin- with reminders that I will earn less have our real wages reduced, see decisions and we will get to where ing to an end — just the world as ning to wonder if journalists have than usual this summer and all my our savings disappear and wonder we will go because of human deci- we know it and, really, is that such taken to ad-lib in order to free up poor friends back in Ontario will where the hell all the scholarships sions. a bad thing? Th is crisis is a prime some spare time for moonlighting. probably be unable to feed them- have gone. To remind us every day Where are all the stories of hu- see recession, page 13 GAUNTLET OPINIONS MARCH 19.09 13 Turning court into a game Recession, continued from page 12 opportunity for the middle and absolute freedom of enterprise and lower rungs of society to hold our the exploitation of the middle and Absurd lawsuit strikes the states elites accountable for their hor- lower classes that got us into this ribly fl awed economic paradigm. mess and to return to the glory days Josh Dyck Even if we assume Maiman is setup in his luggage, which he We have the opportunity to force of the responsible, Keynesian-style Gauntlet Opinions completely self-interested (he then entrusted to baggage han- inquiry into risky, speculative mar- capitalism that gave us healthcare, probably is), it’s mindboggling dlers. I cannot do the same with kets. We have the prime opportu- social security, minimum wages ast week the CBC reported when one stops to consider my $50 MP3 player. nity to make a strong case for the and, most importantly, regulated that a 21-year-old Yale Uni- several of the details Finally, we have Maiman’s elimination, or at least regulation, markets, which provided the aver- Lversity student has filed a of this case. First of startling willingness to of speculative transactions, for the age person the ability to survive and lawsuit against US Airways be- all, the man is tak- allow his tomfoolery need to regulate interest rate vari- prosper post-Great Depression. cause his Xbox 360 with special- ing his Xbox on a to become pub- ability and put an end to white- So there you have it — a spoonful ized hardrive went missing from trip. While this is lic — basically collar theft . In essence, we have the of (realistic) optimism to draw you his luggage. only somewhat declaring to the perfect moment to rise up and chal- out of your media-induced reces- Let us attempt to pick out all abnormal behav- world that he is lenge the irresponsible deregulation sion depression. Take it or leave it. the things that are horribly, hor- ior, it could be not only a mas- of domestic and global markets, the I think I’ll take it. ribly wrong with this. Yale. Ohio. indicative of a sive geek (in the $1 million. Video game console. man who likes conventionally Twenty-one-year-old. Xbox 360. his gaming just a embarrassing Specialized hard drive. Luggage. bit too much. He way), but essential- Allow me to explain my logic placed this $1,700 ly a conman. here and why it seems to be run- ning headlong into a brick wall. The kid is from Ohio, not ex- actly universally acclaimed for the quality of its education. He’s attending Yale, which is. Either there has to be at least some spark of intelligence in him or he’s at the centre of a very devious plot by a very rich daddy. A film ma- jor, perhaps, but he is, as we have already established, 21-years-old. This individual — who is past the age of majority just about any- where on Earth — is suing US Air- ways for $1,700 in system reim- bursement plus a million dollars for “non-economic distress.” Stat- isticians will simply mark him as an outlier and move on with their lives, but the rest of us must won- der how Maiman intends to claim $1 million for a $300 console. It is worth noting that a US Air- ways spokeswoman has already commented: “Our publicly avail- able baggage policies specifically exclude liability for electronics checked in luggage,” as well as, “Regardless of the figure in the complaint, there are federal loss limits applicable to all airlines on their liability for lost luggage and belongings, which are currently set at $3,300 per bag.” Which, in spokeswoman-ese, roughly translates to “HAHAHAHA I AL- MOST FEEL BAD FOR YOU I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT WERE YOU THINKING DID YOU EVEN READ THE RULES BEFORE BRINGING US THIS SHIT?” Roughly. In any event, it’s fairly obvious that, un- less the relevant judge is asleep, Maiman will almost certainly never see more than his $1,700 reimbursement — and even that will be an uphill battle. While fortune favours the bold, the sys- tem favours the pragmatic. 14 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET OPINIONS Alberta’s foster child system under fi re population is native, native children with the parents. Every member of While it is a good time to re- good, but a group already burdened make up 63 per cent of foster chil- society should be upset that an ac- view the foster program, it is also with so many problems can not be dren. What’s more, the media has cident has occurred (and there is important for the aboriginal com- expected to take on more. Th e so- Eric Mathison given lots of attention to the con- not yet reason to think it was not an munity to address this issue as a lution must address all issues and Fighting Words cerns of the biological mother. Her accident); the mother’s views should group. Forces within and without must come from within the com- statements demand comment. be treated with the same weight as have contributed to the high sui- munities themselves. Th e 21-year-old woman from the my own. cide, crime and substance abuse Th e foster system is the next best ince a 15-month-old boy from Tsuu T’ina Nation gave two children Of more concern, the mother has problems of native people. Th ere solution for parents that can’t look a foster home in southern up for adoption. It isn’t clear wheth- stated her disappointment that the is no ethnicity in Canada that faces aft er their children. Th e sacrifi ces SAlberta was hospitalized ear- er they are fraternal twins or were children were given to non-native worse discrimination and, like so foster parents make are tremen- lier this month, questions have been born at diff erent times. What is also foster parents because no native many indigenous groups around dous and the work they do — al- raised regarding the conditions fos- unclear is why the mother is being parents on reserve were available. the world, the attainment of equal- ways with children from troubled ter children face. RCMP are investi- questioned at all. While any mother Short of that, she says, they should ity has been a constant struggle. backgrounds — is not commended gating the circumstances that led to has an interest in knowing the well- have been placed with native par- Steps should be made to provide enough. In fact, many aspects of the injury; no comments have been being of her children, it is a right that ents in Calgary. What the ethnicity greater access to sexual education, determining foster parents would made regarding criminal charges. should be considered compromised of parents has to do with this case contraception and abortion ser- do well to be applied to all poten- Th e foster program in Alberta did when she chooses not to raise the is cloudy, but two things should be vices. tial parents: courses on parenting, not receive much attention before child herself. Th e system we should noted. First, if the foster parents While abortion is never a pre- perhaps an interview to ensure this incident and the state in which it promote is one where the children, passed the screening process, then ferred option, the worry that you they meet requirements and a long is run is certainly in need of review. when they reach an age where they there was no way to know that this won’t be able to look aft er your child talk so they know what they’re get- Th e most remarkable statistic is are able to make the decision, choose incident could have been prevented should provide reason for thought ting into. Many churches require it that while four per cent of Alberta’s whether they wish to have contact by the child staying on reserve. Sec- — at least enough to use protection. before marriage, kennels suggest ond, while First Nations people are Should the child be born, the point it for dog owners and universities the most vocal group in Alberta in of adoption is a bad time to start demand it for admission. Not all terms of cultural survival, would negotiating the conditions the child people should get married, own similar eff orts be made to put a child will be placed in once adopted. Th e dogs or go to university — we of Irish parents with Irish foster par- community focus of First Nations should stop assuming all people ents? Should such eff orts be made? has done a tremendous amount of can be good parents. GAUNTLET OPINIONS MARCH 19.09 15 Tying campus together, one lost dignity at a time

garding pieing, but it’s an easy way Calgary campus, who pie other find stable housing. Being pied end of class. The pieing also helps to grab attention. All you have to students and professors to raise directly helps fight homelessness. combat student apathy: it’s the do is buy or bake a pie. money for the Calgary Urban PI week can be controversial on only tradition that unifies people Daniel Pagan Considering its slapstick and Project Society. CUPS is a Chris- campus, however, with some pro- on a notorious apathetic campus Gauntlet Opinions political effects, pieing can be tian organization which helps fessors and students getting up- apart from Bermuda Shorts Day. useful to raise a charity’s pro- people move away from poverty set about disrupted classes. But In the end, even if pieing is con- file. Like the crazy engineering by giving them healthcare and they can get the pies redirected sidered assault in some cases, it is hy do engineering students on the University of education and helping applicants and the pie squads wait until the a valuable tradition. students love pieing Wfor local charity and how did it get started in the first place? Pieing became popular in slapstick comedies where one can easily see the humour in pie fights: the absurdity of a harmless and delicious food being used, the victim’ surprise, humiliation and the mess. People just love seeing other people being embarrassed. Also, a pieing is easy to clean up and far from disastrous, as long as one has a spare towel. How popu- lar was the pieing gag with audi- ences? Over 3,000 pies were used in a 1927 Laurel & Hardy short film, The Battle of the Century. Several comedians and cartoon characters like Charlie Chaplin, Monty Python and Bugs Bunny counted pieing amongst their comedic tricks. Clowns still use them at circuses. People love see- ing others pied, as long as they’re not the victims. Embarrassment and humilia- tion allowed pieing to move from comedy to political act. Several controversial politicians, celebri- ties and CEOs have been pied in the past, as Bill Gates, Jean Chré- tien and Ralph Klein can testify. Some critics feel pieing is only a silly stunt that hurts the credibil- ity of protesters and their move- ment. For example when the Brit- ish media focused on a protester pieing Britain’s business minister, Lord Peter Mandelson last week, they covered the act instead of the protests against the expansion of Heathrow airport. Some victims don’t have a sense of humour, like Stéphane Dion, who pressed charges against two pie throwers in May 1999. But pieing can be important for getting attention: how many politicians actually read letters from their constitu- encies or even pay attention to causes on Facebook or other social networks? What about companies that ignore laws and governments like Microsoft? Environmental protesters argue that only dras- tic actions can draw attention to a problem like global warming, which otherwise gets ignored by politicians and corporations. Suc- cesses have been mixed so far re- 16 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET FEATURES by GAUNTLET FEATURES MARCH 19.09 17 Editor: Katy Anderson—[email protected] Sarelle Azuelos photos by Geoff MacIntosh

not his favourite method to com- the issue. According to the 2001 bat, we got a call from some before escape and early April in opened a year later aft er support bat the extremist groups. Canadian census, Alberta and family friends explaining what Saskatoon is not a pleasant time poured in from all types of com- “What it doesn’t do is arm the B.C. have about seven million vis- had happened. Yet congregation of year. munities. people with knowledge,” he said. ible minorities, while Ontario and members had decided to carry on It’s not hard for strong com- Calgary could easily over- In his past participation Quebec have over 18 million. with the planned service despite munities to join together to whelm this small group before it with the Salmon Arm Coali- the Molotov cocktail. Commu- show racists like Calgary’s Aryan even has the chance to grow. To get tion Against Racism, Lethbridge On most weekends, my family nity members huddled together Guard that they are not welcome. involved with the ARA or to show tracked racist organizations would drive two hours to the Sas- in pews with blankets because Th e synagogue in Saskatoon your support for an inclusive and gave public seminars about katoon synagogue for services. the furnace was turned off . Th e united and started up a wildly Calgary, come to the rally Sat- their recruiting methods. He On one such Saturday, the windows had been kept open successful fundraiser to replace urday at City Hall or visit explained that groups like the morning of our day of rest, Shab- to let the smoke from the night the destroyed library. It re- aracalgary.com. Aryan Guard don’t approach people with a full agenda, but in- stead promise companionship. Th e assurance of a tough group of friends won’t seem as gratifying once the overt racism that comes with it is pointed out. Devine explained that the ARA holds workshops to educate peo- ple about racism in Calgary, but they are sparsely attended. “What we focus on is speak- ing with people at work, home, school,” said Devine. “Discussing with people what the issues are — leafl eting, pamphleting, showing our support for diff erent groups.” Burning down racism A quick history of economics and racism Activists across Canada con- The Aryan Guard in Calgary tinue to struggle against racist groups, but compared to numbers hadhd my fi rst experience with i ih anti-Semitism iS ii sible.ibl At A later l rallies, lli AG membersb taunted him, asking if his used the example of Th e Final Solution, an Edmonton-based in the late ’80s and ’90s, the racist when I was 11. My synagogue, Agudas Israel, home was warm enough for comfort. racist group that gained popularity in the late ’90s. Edmonton groups are at a weak point. Leth- was hit with a Molotov cocktail in the middle Devine pointed to the majority of AG members who have businesses teamed up to ban teens wearing racist parapherna- bridge warned, however, that their of the night and over $130,000 worth of old been charged with violent crimes. Last summer, a Japanese lia from rock shows. Th is proved useful as this cut off many popularity could rise again given books and foundation was destroyed. Many visitor was attacked by a member of the white supremacist of the young, new members from their peers. Quickly, being the current economic climate. were brought from Israel and could never be group outside a downtown bar. Th e 17-year-old male was part of a scary and tough group didn’t matter as much if you “I’ve been really concerned replaced. convicted of assault with a weapon earlier this month. couldn’t show it off . over the last six months,” he said. I grew up in a small town in Saskatchewan On a Facebook event page for the march to celebrate their “When times get bad fi nancially, as part of the only Jewish family and really Aryan heritage the AG asked members not to bring Nazi par- Activism techniques economically, people look around didn’t think it was a big deal. Despite Can- aphernalia. Th e page has since been taken down. However, Th e Aryan Guard and other anti-Semitic, racist organiza- for others to blame. Th e enemy is ada’s strong multiculturalism, rural prairie while a similar call went out last year, it doesn’t stop members tions have a strong history of recruiting youth and teens. Dr. not their neighbour, but the capi- towns are mainly Caucasian and I matched from showing up with “Kill Jews” tattooed on their shins. David Lethbridge, former research director of the Canadian talist system itself. It is my general the physical profi le enough to fi t in. Coming Bethune Institute for Anti-Fascist Studies said the groups of- feeling that the economic reces- to Calgary I didn’t expect to encounter public Police and violence ten hang around schools giving out pamphlets and stickers. In sion will result in unfortunate but racism. But I only lived here for a few months before I heard On the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Dis- July 2008, a suspected neo-Nazi was trying to recruit at Shaw fruitful grounds for far-right and of the Aryan Guard — a Calgary-based neo-Nazi group. crimination, members from the Calgary Police Service will Millennium skate park. ARA members showed up and a fi ght neo-Nazi recruitment and activ- escort the neo-Nazis from City Hall to the Harry Hayes build- broke out. ity.” Saturday’s Rally ing. Because the group has applied for a permit, the CPS aren’t Lethbridge explained that there are two major techniques Traditionally, economic reces- Th is Saturday, the Aryan Guard’s roughly 40 members will able to step in unless the AG break any laws. for fi ghting against racists: activism like the ARA or legal bat- sions have lead to peaks in racist march in a white-pride rally downtown. Calgary is also home “Basically our goal is just to make life diffi cult,” said an ARA tles like those put on by the Southern Poverty Law Center in activity. Th e Great Depression in to Anti-Racist Action and the group is gathering support member who asked to go by Lev. “Th e ARA is composed of a the United States, founded in 1971. While many of their cases the ’30s resulted in restrictive im- from locals to come out to actively oppose the AG. A similar lot of diff erent viewpoints on the best ways to stop them, but fi ght for equal rights for minorities and women, they also tar- migration laws and wide-spread march took place last year when about 40 AG members were the guiding principle is that something has to be done.” geted prominent American racist groups, Southern Klans and anti-Semitism. Aft er extensive job confronted by the Calgary branch of ARA and its almost 200 Devine said CPS’ priority was to avoid confrontation. Last White Aryan Resistance. losses in the ’80s, North American supporters. year they built a human fence between the groups to keep By 1990, WAR’s infl uence was essentially ended aft er they racist groups started to shave their ARA spokesperson Jason Devine is the go-to man for the them separated. were ordered to pay $12.5 million in damages to the family of heads like the anti-racist skinhead group since he is one of the few members willing to make his ARA members consider their group to be an anarchist body an Ethiopian victim. Unable to pay, the WAR’s assets were sold punks in Britain. By using the im- affi liation public. calling for a classless society and as such they don’t make de- off and their infl uence came to an end. age of the popular skinheads, but “Th ere’s the fear of retribution or shame or guilt and you mands or restrictions on anyone who comes out to counter- Lethbridge pointed to Canadian Richard Warman as an twisting their ideology, racists can defi nitely understand that coming from hate crimes,” said protest. example of using legal strategies north of the 49th. Warman were able to gain support from the Devine. “Every person has the right to choose the level of their own has approached the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal over general populace. Many activists wear masks at rallies to avoid being recog- involvement,” said Lev. a dozen times and is always successful. Earlier this month Lethbridge said that racism nized. Guard members maintain a website with a list and pho- Some have approached the group, asking them to take he won a complaint against the now bankrupt leader of the does seem to be more prevalent tos of those they label “white traitors.” a purely non-violent approach, but Lev argues that people defunct Northern Alliance, a white nationalist group based in western Canada compared to Devine, whose photo is on the website numerous times, should be allowed to be confrontational as long as they don’t in Ontario. Warman is a former employee of the Canadian eastern provinces. He suggested knows this better than most — his home was fi rebombed with endanger other activists. Th ey want to “put the fi re out fi rst,” Human Rights Commission and brought more cases before a strong history of political con- his four children and wife inside in February 2008. No one saying that an unopposed racist group would stain the city. the tribunal than any other Canadian. servatism and the relative absence was ever charged but Devine is sure the Aryans are respon- However, they do support community involvement. Th ey Lethbridge said legal battles like this are successful, but of visible minorities as sources of 18 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET Editor: Brad Halasz and Chris Pedersen—[email protected] sports DDinosinos fl y highhigh at Final 8

Top left: Boisterous fans fi lled Scotiabank Place all weekend. (photo by Jon Roe) Middle left: The Dinos season is on the brink.(photo by Brad Halasz) Bottom left: Carleton Ravens win their sixth CIS Final 8 title in seven years. (photo by Jon Roe) Top right: Ross Bekkering sets up for the slam.(photo by Brad Halasz) Bottom right: Dinos forwards give a Stinger player a pink belly.(photo by Jon Roe) GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 19.09 19 Ballers sting Concordia in O-Town Flying Bekkering brothers help push Dinos past quarters at the CIS Final 8

nament become a factor in the floor and it makes a big differ- mmen’sen’s bbasketballasketball opening frame. ence with him there,” said Van- “In the first quarter there was hooren. Brad Halasz a little bit of nerves and we ex- Not one to bow out quietly Sports Editor pected that, it’s a national stage, the six-foot-six 225 pound for- but we worked real hard on how ward made a statement early and f the Concordia University to handle that and control it and quickly with a huge drive that Stingers took away anything kind of harness it in the right resulted in a highlight-reel slam I from the 76–67 beating way,” said Ross. that opened the scoring for the handed to them by the Univer- Proving it’s not just the size, Dinos in the second half and si- sity of Calgary Dinos in the quar- but what you do with it, the Di- multaneously turned the tide of terfinal game at the Canadian nos found their legs in the second the game. The basket sparked an Interuniversity quarter going 18–0 run that saw Ross and Hen- Sport Final 8 on an 18–9 run ry make crowd-pleasing dunks. men’s basketball capped off with Tyler Fidler — who in his tournament last SCORE a huge three second year has had a breakout Friday at Sco- from first-year season — was again solid in the tiabank Place in DINOS STINGERS guard Andy paint with 12 points thanks to a Kanata, Ontario, Rochon to tie reliable midrange jumper. it’s that size does the game head- “When a good team gets their VS indeed matter. 76 67 ing into the flow it’s hard to stop,” said red- The free- break. eyed Concordia guard Dwayne wheeling broth- “For our Buckley following the tilt. “They ers Bekkering guys to battle got their flow.” proved too much for the Sting- back and tie the game up at half In his fifth year, Buckley wasn’t ers as their small but speedy style was big,” said Dinos head coach going down without a fight did not match up to the frames of Dan Vanhooren. “That just helps in what was his last bid at the Henry and Ross. our guys realize that even when CIS title. He led his squad with “We don’t have guys that size,” they’re playing poorly that we 19 points and was named the said Concordia head coach John can come out and we got the fuzz Stingers game MVP for his efforts. Dore. “We had trouble with them off and could refocus ourselves.” “We wish we had 11 other guys on the boards. The guys we put in Vanhooren said the Dinos with his heart because he works Jon Roe/ the Gauntlet didn’t do the job inside. We didn’t played “some silly basketball at like a dog,” said Dore. AHHH! Henry Bekkering puts the ball in its proper place. have one of our better games to- times” in the opening two frames. day.” Missing for most of the half was Making their first trip to the starting forward Robbie Sihota Final 8 since 2004, the Dinos who was limited to just six min- looked shaky out of the gate and utes of floor time in the first after found themselves trailing 23–14 getting into foul trouble early. after the first quarter, admittedly “We’re obviously a bit different letting the gravity of the tour- team when we have him on the 20 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET SPORTS Dinos downed by UBC rivals in Final 8 semis

Dominyc Coward missed another we stopped playing D for the moment mmen’sen’s bbasketballasketball conversion until fi nally sinking the . . . We could’ve done a way better job ball for two points with 20 seconds left in the third.” Jon Roe to bring the Dinos within one. But that Th e T-Birds outscored the Dinos Editor-in-Chief was as close as they would come. Th e 16–8 in the quarter. Dyck thought the Dinos were forced to foul Dyck, who T-Birds’ defence was the diff erence in our points. Five points. For this sank both of his shots, and were un- the third. year’s Dinos men’s basketball able to recover. “If you can hold a team at nationals Fsquad, those numbers ultimate- Th e game started off evenly. It was to under 10 points in a quarter, you’re ly defi ned their season. Th ere were a match-up between the Dinos domi- laughing,” he said. only four points between the Dinos nating interior game and the T-Birds Th e Dinos walked off the court at and the University of British Colum- quick perimeter play. Neither squad the intermission behind by a 61–50 bia Th underbirds in the Canada West led by more than fi ve points in the fi rst score, staring at elimination. Final, which the Dinos won 80–76. half as the Dinos scored in the paint Th e teams traded scores until Si- And there were only fi ve points be- and the T-Birds hit seven of 15 from hota hit a three to bring the Dinos to tween the two teams in the Canadian beyond the arc. Th e score was 45–42 within three with 1:54 left in the game. Interuniversity Sport semi-fi nal, this for the T-Birds at But Dyck stepped time in favour of the T-Birds, 79–74. half. up for his team in But for Dinos fi ft h-year forward But things start- the fi nal two min- Henry Bekkering, it came down to a ed to go awry for SCORE utes, nailing nine diff erent number. One play. the Dinos in the of 10 free throws “Our team had a chance to win and third. UBC built an DINOS T-BIRDS in the fourth quar- a call, it could either be a charge or a eight-point lead in ter, including all

block, and they called it a block,” Bek- the fi rst three min- VS eight aft er Sihota’s kering said. utes of the quarter 74 79 three. Dyck, who With UBC leading by just one point until Tyler Fidler, had a tournament- in the dying minute of the fourth who led all Dinos high 31 points, re- quarter, Bekkering stepped in and with 23 points, sunk two free throws deemed himself aft er missing key free was called for blocking an aggres- and a jumper to bring the Dinos with- throws in the Canada West fi nal. sive move to the net by T-Birds guard in four with 6:27 left . Th e Dinos didn’t “Canada West, that was defi nitely in Brad Halasz/the Gauntlet Chris Dyck. Dyck nailed both of his score again until the end of the quarter my mind, but once you hit a couple, Ross Bekkering (#33) converts on a second effort. free throws and put the T-Birds up by and missed all fi ve of their shots and you kind of forget about that and just three with less than 35 seconds left in turned the ball over three times during kind of get the feel,” said Dyck. the game. Th e Dinos called a timeout a six-minute-span that saw the T-Birds Fidler fouled out with 1:32 left in the and fourth-year forward Robbie Siho- establish a 13-point lead. game, called for illegal use of the hands ta missed his three aft er the inbound. “We weren’t executing at all,” Fidler on Dyck, who then hit both of his free Th e ball bounced to Henry’s brother said. “We weren’t getting to the inside, throws. Ross, who missed his shot. Forward we were taking a lot of outside shots, Th e Dinos did make it close, bring- ing the game to within one on two seperate occasion. Bekkering nailed what would be the fi nal shot of his CIS career with 52 seconds left and Fidler’s replacement Coward also sank two to bring the diff erence to one with 20 sec- onds left . But the Dinos were forced to foul Dyck, who sank both of his foul shots. T-Birds coach Kevin Hanson gave full credit to Dyck for hitting those key free throws, including the two on Bekkering’s foul. Th e T-Birds’ win put them in the CIS fi nal for the fi rst time since Hanson was a point guard on the team back in 1987. Th e T-Birds lost that fi nal 74–66 to the Brandon University Bobcats and it was a repeat result for Hanson as UBC lost again Sunday, this time to the Carleton University Ravens dynasty, which has captured six of the last sev- en CIS titles. Th e Ravens took the fi nal 87–77. Th e graduating Bekkering was sad, but proud of his team. “It’s a disappointing way to go out, obviously you want to win a national championship,” he said. “I think we played hard as a team and we had our chance to win.” GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 19.09 21 DDinosinos ggoodood aass

GGOLDOLDGeoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet suspense, and saw pivotal action controlled play for the opening sure, but both teams left the ice was an all-out eff ort by Zubick, one wwomen’somen’s hhockeyockey at both ends of the ice determining 10 minutes of the first period and deadlocked at zero. that showed the Dinos came ready victory and defeat. At the end of the used a ferocious forecheck to con- Th ere were some scary moments to play and were hungry for the Chris ‘Doc’ Pedersen contest the tears of the Dinos fl owed stantly keep the puck in the Cou- in the second period for the Dinos, gold. Sports Editor with happiness, and heads were gar zone, leading as they almost “We fi nally fi nished, last year we lift ed to the sky in awe of the prize, to several scoring let the Cougars didn’t and it feels good to fi nally he Dinos waited a long time while the Cougars hung their heads opportunities. SCORE take the lead. do it,” said Dinos co-captain Beccy to avenge last year’s cham- low to the ground to shield the dis- The Dinos kept Midway through Niehaus. Tpionship defeat but fi nally play of defeat in their eyes. Th e Di- up the offensive DINOS COUGARS the frame the While most of the period was fi nished the job and claimed the nos used their physical forecheck firepower as Di- Cougars went in evenly contested, the Dinos com- top prize in the province this sea- and quick off ence to wear down the nos forward Ti- alone on Dinos mitted several turnovers off failed son. Th e Dinos fi nished the year Cougars and win the prize. ara Schoenroth 1 VS 0 netminder Katie clearing attempts in their defensive with drama on Sunday and lift ed “Fuck yeah,” said Dinos co-cap- nearly scored Urness, but be- zone and, if not for some excel- the Alberta Colleges Athletic Con- tain Cait O’Hara. “We knew what early on a par- fore they could lent saves by Urness, the Cougars ference championship trophy with we had to do. We had to keep the tial breakaway, only to be stopped produce a shot, defenceman Me- would have taken the lead. Nothing a 1–0 win over the Mount Royal game simple and outwork them. We by Mount Royal netminder Sarah lissa Zubick dived and knocked was decided aft er 40 minutes and Cougars, wining the series 3–2. Th e knew we were the better team.” Oswald. The period ended with the puck away, sending the Cougar the two teams had 19 shots apiece. fi nal game was fi lled emotion and The Dinos came out strong, Mount Royal applying the pres- player into the boards headfi rst. It see GOLD, page 22 22 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET SPORTS Gold, continued from page 21

Th ere was now 20 minutes left to decide who the Cougars had a five-on-three power would win gold and who would walk away play for a minute and a half. The Dinos with the silver. mustered all their strength and cleared the Calgary head coach Danielle Goyette puck numerous times, keeping the Cou- made some line changes during the inter- gars from scoring. mission, hoping this would produce a spark “It was terrible,” said Shannon David- to get that all important goal. son. “There’s not much you can do because Elana Lovell was switched from her usual you only have three girls on the ice. We line with forwards Schoenroth and Shelby have a lot of trust so it worked out for us.” Davey to the line of Erin Davidson and Nie- With the penalties killed, the Dinos haus. Tanya Morgan replaced Lovell on the managed the puck well in the final min- rookie line. utes and were rewarded with their first Th e Dinos got the boost they needed in ACAC championship. the third period from “It feels un- Sinead Tracey, the Di- real, I don’t even nos’ leading scorer in “It feels unreal, I don’t know what to the playoff s. With 4:08 say,” said Tracey. gone, Ali Webb skated even know what to say. “Our whole team hard into the Cougars played unbeliev- zone with the puck Our whole team played able.” and forced the defend- “We deserved er to chase. Webb then unbelievable.” this,” said David- passed the puck to a son. “We worked streaking Tracey who –Sinead Tracey hard all year.” ripped a quick wrist Dinos forward The Cougars shot over the blocker deserve to be of Oswald. Th e Oval given accolades erupted as the Dinos section of fans began for trading in their last place finish in the beating on drums, metal barrels and the season for a silver medal. They pushed the bleachers. favoured team to five games and only lost “It was a huge weight off our shoulders,” by one goal. said Dinos forward Shannon Davidson. “It was a great series,” said Goyette. “I “We waited so long to get that first goal.” think the two teams showed a great level of In sports, players get a gut feeling about hockey. One-nothing who expected that, I the outcome of games, something inside think we have to give credit to the play- telling them this is their day. In the gold ers. The [Dinos] worked hard all year and medal game O’Hara got that feeling once I think they deserved what happened to Tracey scored. them today.” “Once Sinead scored we knew we had it,” The Dinos are poised to leave the ACAC said O’Hara. next season, as they are close to confirming Despite the celebrations and gut feel- their spot in the Canadian Interuniversity ings, the work was not done, and there Sport women’s hockey league. In this league was still an entire period to finish. Like they will play other universities such as the any great championship, there was drama University of Alberta and the University of until the very end. With five minutes left, Saskatchewan and have the opportunity to Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet the Dinos were issued two penalties and compete for a national championship. The Dinos celebrate a goal during game four of the series. GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 19.09 23 Vanhooren reflects on successful b-ball season

the shots go in or they don’t go in. And they plicate that result against UBC on Saturday, One of those players might be second-year mmen’sen’s bbasketballasketball just didn’t happen to fall yesterday.” the players walked off the court proud of their guard Tyler Fidler. He took a big leap this year Th e Dinos were in a weird situation this year eff orts and their accomplishments. Th ey also as a starter aft er having a fantastic season as the Jon Roe aft er being incredibly successful last year dur- had high expectations of the future. Dinos’ sixth man last year and being named Editor-in-Chief ing the regular season and falling short in the “I think coach Vanhooren is a great recruiter to the CIS all-rookie team. He led the team in playoff s. Th e team fi nished 18–4 last year and and I think he’s the best recruiter in Canada scoring and was named the MVP of the Dinos’ t’s hard to believe that the defi ning mo- won all of their regular season home games, West,” said fi ft h-year forward Henry Bekker- semi-fi nal match-up with the T-Birds. ments for a year’s worth of work and ef- only to fl ame out spectacularly in two disap- ing, who leaves the Dinos aft er two electrify- “As a second-year kid to be here, and to ex- Ifort could be just a few games. But that’s pointing home playoff games during the Cana- ing, dunk-fi lled seasons. “He brings the best perience what he did last year and this year, what most sports teams experience and that’s da West fi nal four. A 77–69 heartbreaker to the talent every year and next year we have some going forward he’s only going to be a leader for what the Dinos men’s basketball team expe- T-Birds cost them the chance of a guaranteed good guys coming in, plus we have our whole us,” said Vanhooren. “He’ll be better next year rienced this weekend when they fl ew out to spot in Ottawa last year and a 97–83 loss to the team back. I totally expect our team to be back than he was this year.” Ottawa to take part in the Canadian Interuni- Brandon University Bobcats shut the door on a in this position next year.” In the end for Vanhooren, it’s not about versity Sport Final 8 tournament for the fi rst slim chance of making it in as a wildcard. Bekkering is the only Dino on the squad wins and losses. It’s not about basketball. time since 2004. Despite those losses, Vanhooren said the who can’t come back, and though Vanhooren It’s about teaching kids and giving them Th e tournament started promising for the Dinos walked in to this season looking to the understands he will be hard to replace — he different opportunities to learn. Dinos, with a 76–67 win over the Concor- future. led the Dinos in scoring this season with 20.2 “It has a lot more to do with the guys,” he dia University Stingers in the quarterfi nals, “Last year’s in the past,” he said. “One of points per game and last season with 21 — he said. “It helps me stay young, I gotta say, I and ended suddenly, with a 79–74 loss to the things we needed to do coming here and cer- has a lot of confi dence in his core group. really enjoy being around them, but in ad- University of British Columbia Th underbirds tainly the lesson that we learned from the past “To lose anybody with his capabilities is dition to that, the whole goal of this is to in the semis Saturday. For Dinos head coach season is just that. Th ere are things that are a big loss,” said Vanhooren. “We’re going to make them better people. Every opportu- Dan Vanhooren, not reaching their ultimate history and there are things that are in the fu- have to fi nd a way to change what we do and nity we have to do that, we will. Yesterday, goal of a CIS championship does not mean ture. . . Th is year’s team, even if you look at the replace what he does with numbers he puts we took them to the parliament building. that this year was unsuccessful. games in B.C., they really took away that pres- up. Th e one thing that I’ve come to under- Most of our guys hadn’t been there before. “Th ere’s no question,” Vanhooren said a sure from the previous year, because our guys stand from coaching for a few years, no mat- That’s just a great experience for them. Out day aft er the loss, “All the guys can do is look performed in the fi nal four.” ter how many great players you have, other west, we don’t have the same kind of his- in the mirror and ask themselves, did they Th is year the Dinos fi nished the season on ones come along. Other guys step up.” tory around us.” put their best eff ort forward. Th e only answer top of their division for a sec- to that is yes. . . . Just because a shot doesn’t ond year in a row with a 17–5 fall here or there doesn’t mean we’re not good record and followed that up enough.” with a successful playoff run, “We basically came down to one posses- claiming the Canada West sion with UBC,” he continues. “We beat them championship with a win in the Canada West championship. We’re as over the T-Birds. good as anybody here, it’s just whether or not Th ough they couldn’t du- 24 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET three lines free Yay TLF space! Too bad I got like fi ve DODGEBALL! What more needs to be Come to MacHall Thurs + Fri to see “A purple little little lady will be perfect “The picture is far too big to look at, kid. submissions this week... guess I’ll said? Gather 5-6 members from a club the ladies of Alpha Omicron Pi sorority for dirty old and useless clown...” Your eyes won’t open wide enough.” have to do something kooky to com- you belong to (or have made up) and play foosball for 24h straight! Donate, pensate. Not comics, I’ve done those... show ‘em what you’ve got! $5/person support or play yourself! All proceeds “Brother Pele’s in the back/Sweet “Na na na na na na/Na na na na na/Na maybe some tunez! To avoid such ter- to raise money for micro-credit. Friday, go to the Arthritis Foundation! Seena’s in the front/Cruising down the na na na na na/Na na na na na” rible creativity on my part from hap- March 27 6:30pm-7:30pm in KN gym. freeway/In the hot, hot sun” [hint: na na na na na na na na na] pening again, please! bring your TLF email Jenni: [email protected] JOIN THE GAUNTLET. AND GET [hint: I once requested this song on submissions to MSC 319 or send them only space for 3 more clubs! PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY THE SU X92.9 and they were appalled.] “Hoping for the best just hoping noth- to [email protected]. All submis- PRESIDENT. ing happens/A thousand clever lines sions must include your name, phone To Concerned, whoever you are. Dairy – pikism #42069 “I got a girl she has girlfriends/I got a unread on clever napkins” number, ID number and signature. is awesome and I’m going to pull out girl I like her girlfriends” Submissions judged to be sexist, rac- all the stops. There once was this guy named henry, “And though spring, it did come slow- ist, homophobic or an attack of a per- – ED a.k.a. Adequate and every time he cried pansy, a big “This way is a waterslide away from ly, I guess it did its part – my heart has sonal nature will not be permitted. truck would appear, fi lled to the roof, me that takes you further every day, thawed and continues to beat.” I once had a deep friend double of delicious popcorn and candy. hey! So be cool” “I am the boogie man/And I boogie cheeseburger; I was digesting it for “And in the deafening pleasure I down whenever I can.” months. There once was a girl named Lil, she “We’ll all just keep waiting/you’ll just thought I heard someone say/If we – www.ChrisGheran.com – not Gina had two boys after her grill, she cried keep waiting/in the cold, the supple- walk away, they’ll walk away” and she shouted, but Dan only gloat- ment” Is there such thing as “not obsessed Dear people who stop in doorways to ed, as he unload till Rocky was full. “I’m a giraffe, and it’s been 30 days enough”? Explain and provide exam- talk: please die and/or stop doing that. “We’ll have halloween on christmas, since –” ples. (100 marks) – love G Since there are no more TLF submis- and in the night we’ll wish this never [hint: you should know this.] sions to be had, it’s time for Guess ends.” To the cute econ major I met at the stor Seen on campus: a lonely goose lurk- That Tune. Yay happy fun time! “And maybe I just don’t wanna know/ I’d love to hear that joke sometime… ing on top of education. “click clack boom booooom click clack How low you’re ready to go” funny or not “This is not a small cut that scabs, and booom booooom yeahhh” – girl Also seen: a very uncute bunny. dries, and fl akes, and heals. “ [this one is a big hit in the under- “Hold on if you feel like letting go!” ground mob scene. [jampEd] – aidEd] “Death’s gotta be easy, because life is “I like beating kids for no reason at all/I hard.” like doing drugs and beating up kids” [hint: get rich or die keggin’] [hint: this one did not come from a dis- ney commercial...or did it? TLFBOT NEEDS! BZZT! MOAR! GAUNTLET MARCH 19.09 25 entertainment Editor: Amanda Hu—[email protected]

DDirectorirector BBruceruce MMcDonaldcDonald takestakes oonn unconventionalunconventional zzombieombie fflicklick

DO N ’T SPEAKcourtesy Maple Pictures centricities can drive a person to vomit out terms of endearment way for you to do that is to chew With actor Stephen McHattie Pontypoolkill sometimes. and gibberish ad nauseum, fi nally your way through another person’s (Elaine’s therapist in Seinfeld) filminterview In Bruce McDonald’s latest losing their sanity from it all with mouth.” and Miraslaw Baskzak, horror fl ick, Pontypool, a virus particularly bloody and gory Th e fi lm originally started out as (cinematographer for Land of Jordyn Marcellus infects the townspeople’s speech, results. a book by author Tony Burgess, a the Dead) behind the camera, Entertainment Assistant slowly and insidiously destroying “As a conversationalist, you are surrealist post-modern novel titled McDonald’s producers went looking the small town community of in a high state of agitation and Pontypool Changes Everything. for the cash to make the fi lm. While he English language can be, Pontypool, Ontario. People — you just want to get it all out,” says McDonald was drawn to the story's it wasn’t the easiest process, they at best, maddening at times. dubbed conversationalists by McDonald, sitting in the loft of premise and its manipulation of were able to procure the necessary TWith homonyms, parallel McDonald — have their ability to the Uptown Cinema. “You want to the mundanities of talking into an funds to start shooting. McDonald structure and the horrors of their, communicate via speaking ripped communicate what you’re thinking unconventional horror plot. explains how they were able to there and they’re, the language’s ec- away from them. Th ey can only and feeling, but you can’t. Th e only “I’ve always loved the idea be- convince people to give up their cause it’s so nuts,” McDonald hard-earned cash in a recession says. “It always appealed to me economy. Chilling beginning, confusing ending because people are so desperate “It has McHattie, Miraslaw and to communicate. It’s like [Alfred McDonald,” says McDonald. “It’s Hitchcock’s] Th e Birds. You know contained, it’s a genre pic, it’s doable Pontypoolror cinema: be creepy as hell. putting narration over an oscillo- these things so well and then and fun.” Th e fi lm centres around the titu- scope. Th e narration, which plays suddenly it’s like you don’t know For a fi lmmaker like McDonald, filmreview lar town of Pontypool that is rav- an important part in the story later anything at all about them.” renowned for working on the road aged by a virus that infects the Eng- on, makes no sense out of context For an independent fi lmmaker with fi lms like Hard Core Logo and Jordyn Marcellus lish language itself. Hopping from but keeps the audience off -kilter. like McDonald, working on small Highway 61, there were some initial Entertainment Assistant person to person by speaking, any- Th e fi lm is a hallmark in creep- budgets and on a tight deadline worries about working on the fi lm. one who catches it becomes an ob- ing terror. Outside of a few bloody is usual fare. But Pontypool was It was mostly set in a radio studio Most Canadian horror fi lms are sessive conversationalist — a.k.a. scenes, most of the fi lm is very another beast altogether. Th e fi lm in a church basement, a small and shlocky exploitation fi lms. Shot pseudo-zombies constantly trying tame in its content. Th e horror does was privately fi nanced, shot for only cramped set, nothing like the vast quickly on the cheap, they’re oft en to communicate with people, fi nd- not come from any graphic con- half a million dollars over the course and expansive wilderness that he nothing more than direct-to-DVD ing themselves unable to say more tent, but from a stream of scenes of two weeks in a small church was more accustomed to shooting teen slasher fi lms, immediately than one or two words. Trapped in that are incredibly off -putting. A basement. Th is was the fi rst time in. disposed of aft er one viewing. their own heads and unable to tell woman tries desperately to com- McDonald used private funding “I was scared to shoot there,” Pontypool, theoretically, could anyone how they’re feeling, these municate, only to repeat one word to make a fi lm and his broad face says McDonald. “I’ve always had have been another crappy Cana- conversationalists inevitably go over and over again, her face in- smiles warmly when discussing an open canvas. I love that I can go dian horror fi lm. Shot for half a mad from their inability to talk to creasingly shocked and dismayed how he was able to procure funds and explore things. It wasn’t just a million dollars over two weeks in anyone. as she stutters and stammers, only for the movie. challenge to make a fi lm in a closed Ontario, it could have been noth- Th e fi lm’s opening is just es- to repeat herself. We start empa- “It’s a fucking miracle,” he says. “It’s space for two weeks. I felt like I had ing more than another My Bloody pecially jarring. Director Bruce thizing with her character, only to great as a signal to other fi lmmakers cabin fever by the end of it.” Valentine. Instead it is a tense, taut McDonald opens not with some see her lose herself to her madness that you don’t have to go to Telefi lm

horror fi lm that actually manages grand, sweeping scene or bloody and attack the survivors, Grant to get your funding. It was a very Pontypool hits theatres Friday. For more info, go to to do something shocking in hor- murder but a tremendously off - see zombies, page 31 radical fi nancing process.” pontypoolmovie.com. 26 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT Segel and Rudd aarere funnyfunny guysguys I LoveYou,Man Jason Segel. “We got as close to the homoerotic line as possible, which, filminterview uh, I think we both [Paul Rudd and I] found comedically satisfying . . . Hoang-Mai Hong I think my favourite bromantic Gauntlet Entertainment comedy is Midnight Cowboy. Twins, that’s a great buddy movie. Also not he buddy movie has been bad is the follow-up, Junior. Dumb a popular brand of enter- and Dumber, too.” Ttainment for decades, but “A n d Schindler’s List,” adds Rudd. it seems that only recently has it Rudd and Segel’s latest is anoth- delved into the soft er complexities er movie coming from what Rudd of male friendship and mined ho- terms as his “Komfortable Komedy moeroticism for comedy. Koalition” featuring a good portion I Love You, Man, the latest bud- of comedians and writers grouped courtesy Paramount Pictures dy-comedy to hit theatres attempts around the successful Judd Apatow to do precisely that. Terms like comedies. All involved are sim- Yeah, this is happening. At least it isn’t Jason Segel’s (R) penis this time. “bromance” have been tacked onto ply a good group of friends fool- this new way of looking at male ing around and making movies Rudd has another set of termi- bit,” he comments. “And when I say pretty funny,” Segel quips. friendships. I Love You, Man sets together. Th e camaraderie between nology for it. boner jokes and language, I mean Male nudity in the bromantic out simultaneously to endear audi- them, Rudd and Segel in particu- “We pounded some brains . . . it’s an actual language called boner- comedy has also had some unfore- ences to this gushier side of male lar, is evident as they describe their and thankfully we knew each other ist. We both speak bonerist.” seen benefi ts in real life for Rudd, friendships while poking fun at all “prep-bonding sessions” for the and so there was already a built in Poking fun at full-frontal male who “went ass in 40-Year-Old Vir- the awkwardness that can result movie. familiarity and we made several, nudity has also been ushered in gin” and the especially for the still from trying to understand them. “We had a couple of hangs,” Segel several boner jokes before we ever with the bromantic-comedy it single Segel. “What we’re going for is a good says. “We went to the bar a couple started fi lming this one, so we al- seems. Perhaps baring your nether “[On dates] it actually makes male, platonic comedy,” says star of times, scored a few brews.” ready spoke the same language a regions goes hand-in-hand with things more comfortable because male bonding and understanding they know what they’re going to the male psyche. Or maybe it’s just get,” says Segel. “Th ere’s no mystery another, until now, unmined area of or awkward moments where it’s comedy. like, ‘Yeah, this is what I’m work- “Well, I was the fi rst to show my ing with.’ If they want to go out on dick [in Forgetting Sarah Marshall], a date, they’ve already checked out as far as I’m concerned, in a come- the goods, and on the big screen, dic sense,” says Segel. too, which is only more helpful.” Rudd disputes Segel’s claim. Rudd cautions that philosophy “I think there was a dick in Walk can backfi re. Hard,” he adds. “But you only saw “Unless there’s a chance that dick, [Segel] kind of put dick and they downloaded it on iTunes and face together. Th at came out wrong. they’re watching it on their iPod,” As soon as that sentence left my he warns. “Gives you an iDick.” lips, that also came out wrong.”

“Let me tell you something, be- I Love You, Man hits theatres Friday. For more info, tween my dick and your ass, we’re go to iloveyouman.com. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 19.09 27 Doc looks into the issue of intellectual property RiP “Th ere were people arguing with one another. It was great to see that filminterview there was this heated debate.” For Gaylor, who is not only a Jordyn Marcellus director but also a web advocate, Entertainment Assistant hearing these rambunctious Q&As translates to massive success. He ver since Danger Mouse’s Th e feels that being able to generate Grey Album hit the Internet, discourse on such an important is- Ethe mash-up has blown up sue is vitally important because the in popular culture. From the Hood documentary can only help spread Internet’s cleverly-titled electronic his perspective. dance hall music to Dsico the No- “Th e point of the fi lm is to get Talent Hack’s glitchy cut-ups, it’s a people talking,” he explains. “A genre that has become prevalent in fi lm like mine needs to transmit hip music circles for its post-mod- the beliefs and the intention of the ern take on the canon of pop music. director. Th e debate about how you In Brett Gaylor’s fi lm RiP: A Re- deal with the issues raised in the mix Manifesto, the mash-up is used fi lm happens aft erward.” as a greater symbol of the battle Gaylor adds that while the fi lm surrounding intellectual property is available online on the NFB web- rights. Th e fi lm pulls double duty, site, and you can remix it at open- as it’s both an artist profi le of Girl sourcecinema.org, it is also inte- courtesy NFB Talk (real name Greg Gillis) and a gral to watch the fi lm in theatres. polemic devoted to the increasing Girl Talk is riding the sea of hands. “It’s really important to get to the need to modernize our copyright theatre because it’s a fi lm that needs laws in the face of the Internet. changing the game and changing argues modern music and creativ- to a sold-out crowd with a very to be watched on the big screen On the phone from Austin, Texas creativity for artists, while the in- ity don’t seem to work within the heated question and answer period with your friends to really appreci- for the South by Southwest fi lm fes- teractive side of the festival focuses traditional album-selling model. aft er. ate it,” he says. tival, for the fi lm’s offi cial launch, on new media technologies. At SXSW, an industry festival with “You had people cheering for the

Gaylor explains the issues he raises Gaylor suggests this is because of movie and fi lm bigwigs from fi lm and some people who were RiP plays at the Plaza Theatre on March 20. Go to in the fi lm are perfectly suited to how digital technology seems to be across North America, RiP played denouncing the fi lm,” Gaylor says. nfb.ca/rip for more info. what’s going on down in Austin exponentially growing while fi lm right now. and music stagnate, far outpacing “It’s an interesting place to the two stagnating industries. launch a fi lm,” he says. “Th e festi- “Th e interactive portion is up val has three components — inter- 30 per cent this year,” says Gaylor. active, fi lm and music. Everyone’s “Th e whole landscape is chang- grappling with these issues right ing. Digital seems to be innovating now. All three of these industries much quicker than fi lm or music. are in major, major transition.” Everyone’s thrashing around try- While Gaylor’s fi lm has entered ing to fi gure out what’s going on.” the fi lm festival proper, his fi lm is In the fi lm, Gaylor attacks the spiritually similar to the Interac- music and fi lm industries for be- tive Festival as well. RiP is all about ing out-of-touch with the needs of how new media technologies are a new web-oriented generation. He 28 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT No alternatives to Plants and Animals PlantsandAnimals musicinterview

Amanda Hu Entertainment Editor

obody really knows what alternative music is any- Nmore. Th e days of Bush, Alice in Chains and the Foo Fight- ers are in the past, while the sec- tion devoted to the genre grows bloated with unclassifi able music in CD stores. Montreal’s Plants and Animals’ newest release, Parc Av- enue, was recently nominated for best alternative album and best new artist at the 2009 Juno Awards, though many say the album’s sound is highly indefi nable and certainly not simply “alternative.” “It used to make sense,” lead sing- courtesy Indoor Recess er and guitarist Warren Spicer says. “Th ey used to have whole radio These windswept indie rockers are ready to touch down in Calgary. stations for that kind of music, but I don’t think we sound like that. I and bassist Nicolas Basque. Th e re- “It was the only way that made we did, which probably happens from strict instrumentals to music don’t know what that means besides sult was a highly-orchestrated romp any sense to us,” Spicer says. “We quite frequently actually.” with vocals has changed the way we’ve made some sort of a rock re- through sometimes-theatrical rock kind of had to go through it to get Th ough they’re being nomi- they look at their songs and increa- cord that we’ve been nominated for with interjecting strings, horns, an understanding of it. It helped us nated for best new group as well, sed interaction with their audi- an award for. Going to the event steel drums and everything else in make songs that we liked because the Montreal trio has been creat- ences. will be an interesting day.” between. Spicer says the recording we didn’t just jump into it and re- ing music since 2000, exploring “It makes you economize in a Parc Avenue was a three-year process played a large part in the cord a bunch of songs and go, ‘It’s many diff erent musical avenues whole diff erent way with less space project for the group, made up of creation of the songs, helping the done,’ and then a week later realize before coming upon the sound of and you want to make it count,” he Spicer, drummer Matthew Woodley trio to hone their songwriting skills. that we didn’t like any of the songs Parc Avenue. Spicer says the move explains. “You want to fi nd a way to keep the good ideas and get rid of the bad ones. Th e narrative is com- pletely diff erent than with words because with instrumental music you still have the melodies but you don’t have any content or words. Th e thing that makes the song or tune could be very diff erent. Some- times even in a song with words, the words are meaningless and it’s the melody and the way the words sound.” Instrumental music isn’t the only diff erent music tack they took in the past. Spicer recalls being in bands with Woodley in high school, not- ing how it aff ected the music they make now. “We were into weird free jazz in high school, like really bizarre stuff ,” he recalls. “We had this saxo- phone player and it was just super- improvised. It taught us how to communicate musically and build a musical vocabulary and helped us play our instruments better. We don’t really do that anymore, but if you’re having a cocktail party or something, me and Nick sometimes do jazz gigs.”

Plants and Animals hit up the Marquee Room March 21. The show starts at 8 p.m. GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 19.09 29 U of C dancers celebrate the body Mainstage promises to delight audiences with works devoted to the human form Mainstage fi ve years in a row,” says Moss with a twinkle of experience fl ashing in dancepreview her eye. “But lately I’ve been doing it every other year. So I kind of save Roman Auriti it up and been chewing it up a bit Gauntlet Entertainment and anxious to make a dance [for students I know].” ancing events usually go Moss is a veteran of choreography unnoticed among the at the U of C, being a dance gradu- D crowds at the University ate that has moved on to teach here of Calgary. Midterms, exams and as well. last night’s party usually domi- “Certainly if you’re teaching in nate a student’s mind while major the faculty, you have your eye on drama and dance events are largely students,” she says. “I get to look in ignored. Although this is unfortu- my class to see who is good.” nate, now is the best time to break Th is comes in handy when talent a dramaless habit and head out to is a resource that is in high demand watch Mainstage, a long-standing for a production like Mainstage. U of C event, showcasing brilliant “Opening the production is my choreographers from the United piece,” Moss says. “It’s a jazz piece States and Canada and U of C’s Paul Baker/the Gauntlet and it celebrates the body, the body dance degree students. It’s not kung-fu, but with high kicks like those, it’s pretty damn close. in all of its glory accomplishing a “It has a festival feeling in that goal . . . so it’s the sporting body it’s eclectic pieces,” says Main- ticular theme, so it’s whatever fancy pezes and open fl ames.” familiar to everyone as well, like that has inspired me. [A] very func- stage’s art director Michèle Moss. comes to the choreographers and Not only does Mainstage pro- contemporary dance, classical bal- tional body, you know? “It’s works between four or fi ve whatever the theatre will accept. vide its audience with a variety of let and jazz. choreographers that set work on What can be put in it, is what I’m imaginative idioms and themes, “Th ere was a time where I cho- Mainstage runs in the University Theatre from [auditioned] students with no par- trying to say, things like swings, tra- but dances and movements that are reographed for like three, four or March 19–21 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10 for students. 30 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINTMENT Fanning the flames of bromance I LoveYou,Man filmreview

Silvia de Somma Gauntlet Entertainment

Love You, Man takes the con- cept of a man who is most at I ease with those of the opposite sex and sticks him in a situation where having guy pals is kinda im- portant: a wedding. Th e movie is a refreshing and amusing look at the relationship between two very diff erent men brought together by circumstance. Peter Klaven (Paul Rudd), a mild- ly-successful real estate agent, just proposed to Zooey (Rashida Jones), his girlfriend of eight months. Both are extremely excited about the up- coming nuptials and are making big plans for both the ceremony and their future together. However, they hit a snag fairly early on: Zooey has courtesy Paramount Pictures a large group of girlfriends, includ- Paul Rudd watches some serious adult-rated bromantic videos in I Love You, Man. ing the perpetually single Hailey (Sarah Burns) and the acerbic, mar- ing at an open house and things just fl uous to women, can be important amazing and provides a lot of genu- ried Denise (Jaime Pressly), all of click. Soon, they’re spending hours and meaningful. ine talent to the movie, which really whom she wants in her wedding together in Syd’s “man cave,” drink- I Love You, Man isn’t ground- excels because of its actors’ perfor- party. Peter, on the other hand, has ing beers, jamming and just hang- breaking or award-winning mate- mances. Segel isn’t exactly outside no close friends of the same gender ing out to the increasing displeasure rial. It’s a bit lacking in the plot de- his niche on this one, but Rudd and is worried about having a mis- of Peter’s fi ancée. partment and, like a lot of comedies really makes his mark as some- matched number of groomsmen Th e movie is refreshing because these days, it relies heavily on sex- one with leading man attributes. If and bridesmaids. He decides to go it’s pretty rare to fi nd a buddy com- related humour, scatological refer- you don’t mind crude comedy or a on “man dates” in search of a po- edy, or “bromance” if you will, that ences and lots of profanity to amp slightly pedestrian storyline, I Love tential best man, under the urging gives an honest look at the relation- up the funny factor. Th ankfully, the You, Man is an endearing and fun- and guidance of his brother, Robbie ship between guys. It doesn’t try characters are original enough to ny movie about how friendship are (Andy Samberg). Despite his best and hide the fact that they swear, avoid stereotypes and the writers made, how they are kept and how eff orts to make new guy friends, fart and talk about sex and can stopped short of taking the predict- they can change you for the better. Peter just doesn’t seem to hit it off sometimes act like idiots, but still able way out of tense moments or

with anyone, until he meets Sydney shows how even guy friendships, stripping heartfelt scenes of their I Love You, Man opens nationwide Fri., March 20.. Fife (Jason Segel) without even try- that might seem shallow and super- sincerity. Th e supporting cast is For more info go to iloveyouman.com GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 19.09 31 Zombies, cont’d from pg. 25

(Stephen MacHattie) and Sydney manages to keep the fi lm very in- (Lisa Houle) in a violent and teresting visually, even when it’s bloody way. in the booth for the radio show. One of the fi lm’s greatest suc- Cross-cutting wide shots with ex- cesses is its ability to actually play treme close ups of MacHattie’s with the conventions of speech in craggy face as the horrifi ed reports fi lm. In most horror fi lms, char- come in from all around town, the acters scream, cry and yell at one small radio booth becomes infi - another, but not in Pontypool — nitely larger. that’s the easiest way to transmit Th e fi lm, though, falters in the virus. Th e survivors instead its third act. Th e two survivors try numerous diff erent ways to seem to fi nd a “cure” for the virus communicate with one another that seems more comical than it without speaking, some of which does serious. Th e constant rep- would seem terrifyingly boring. etition of the cure ends up be- McDonald somehow manages to coming a punch line instead of a make writing on a whiteboard in- moment of salvation. While this credibly tense. doesn’t ruin the previous 60 min- Another surprising element of utes, it does make the movie a little the fi lm is that once it enters into bit frustrating and unfulfi lling. Th e its main set piece, the radio sta- creepy vibe that was built up so bril- tion where MacHattie’s character liantly ends up being washed away works, it doesn’t leave. McDonald in a tide of eye-rolling dialogue. 32 MARCH 19.09 GAUNTLET Editor: Gina Freeman—[email protected] comics