By Aaron Mcloughlin BA (RMIT University), Adv Dip (RMIT University)

GRAVY

By Aaron McLoughlin BA (RMIT University), Adv Dip (RMIT University)

An exegesis submitted in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts (Research) Creative Industries: Film, TV & New Media Production Queensland University of Technology 2012

Supervisors: Associate Professor Geoff Portmann, Dr Jonathan Silver

ABSTRACT

To many aspiring writer/directors of feature film breaking into the industry may be perceived as an insurmountable obstacle. In contemplating my own attempt to venture into the world of feature filmmaking I have reasoned that a formulated strategy could be of benefit. As the film industry is largely concerned with economics I decided that writing a relatively low-cost feature film may improve my chances of being allowed directorship by a credible producer. As a result I have decided to write a modest feature film set in a single interior shooting location in an attempt to minimise production costs, therefore also attempting to reduce the perceived risk in hiring the writer as debut director.

As a practice-led researcher, the primary focus of this research is to create a screenplay in response to my greater directorial aspirations and to explore the nature in which the said strategic decision to write a single-location film impacts on not only the craft of cinematic writing but also the creative process itself, as it pertains to the project at hand.

The result is a comedy script titled Gravy, which is set in a single apartment and strives to maintain a fast comedic pace whilst employing a range of character and plot devices in conjunction with creative decisions that help to sustain cinematic interest within the confines of the apartment. In addition to the screenplay artifact, the exegesis also includes a section that reflects on the writing process in the form of personal accounts, decisions, problems and solutions as well as examination of other author’s works.

KEY WORDS

Screenplay, Script, Screenwriting, Writer, Director, Film, Movie, Motion Picture, Cinema, Feature, Australia, Comedy, Low Budget, Single Location, Structure, Paradigm, Gurus, Syd Field, Linda Seger, Christopher Vogler, Robert McKee.

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank the following people who have in one way or another made invaluable contributions to this research project, which without the project would not have been completed to its current standard:

Associate Professor Geoff Portmann for his ongoing commitment, support, professional input and guidance throughout the lifetime of this research project, most particularly during the creative writing process.

Dr Jonathan Silver for sharing his expertise throughout the academic writing component. I would most certainly still be lost without his astute advice.

Cody Jarrett for her support and creative input throughout the creative writing process, most particularly her unwavering belief in the script’s potential.

Darren Casey for his creative contribution, razor sharp comedic instinct and loyal friendship that helped elevate the quality of the script beyond my expectations.

Mark Spratt from Potential Films, Kristian Connelly from Cinema Nova and Kristijana Maric from MEDiAKiN for all being such good sports and agreeing to be interviewed.

John Clarke for his ongoing generosity, advice and exceptionally sharp wit.

Hazel McLeod, Jeremy McLeod, Richard Morden, Patrick Troy and Tamara Veltre for their generous participation in the script read-through, an insightful process that helped enormously.

Rona Green for her wisdom and perseverance.

iii

Statement of Original Authorship

“The work contained in this thesis has not been previously submitted to meet requirements for an award at this or any other higher education institution. To the best of my knowledge and belief, the thesis contains no material previously published or written by another person except where due reference is made.”

Name: Aaron McLoughlin

Signature:

Date: 29/01/2012

Contents

Front Page i

Abstract ii

Key Words ii

Acknowledgements iii

Statement of Authorship iv

Contents v

Chapter 1: Introduction 1

Methodology 7

Chapter 2: Screenwriting With Structure 8

The Paradigm 10

Form, Formula, Dada And Mike Leigh 15

Chapter 3: Gravy – the Screenplay 19

Chapter 4: Reflective Analysis 127

The collaboration 127

The single location 130

The read-through 131

Conclusion 135

Appendix A: Interviews 137

Mark Spratt - Film Distributor 137

Kristian Connelly - Film Exhibitor 141

Kristijana Maric - Film Producer 150

Appendix B: Story Paradigm Diagrams 155

References 157

Introduction

Screenwriting for feature film is quite often purely speculative in the sense that one cannot predict whether the fruits of their labour will make it up onto the big screen or not. For the aspiring writer/director such speculation is compounded greatly by trying to land not one but two debut screen credits simultaneously. Getting a shot at writing a speculative feature film script is straightforward; just go ahead and write it. The aim is to have something of merit at the end of the laborious writing exercise that that may get optioned and subsequently put into production – not only to see the script bought to life but to also get paid for all those hours of work. Any unfortunate script that doesn’t make the grade however may be simply trashed, sure the writer has forfeited their time but they have an opportunity to collect their thoughts and begin again on the next project. They may even choose to write another draft, rebuild it better and stronger, or just write the script off as a learning experience. Directing, on the other hand, is different in terms of risk. Compared to the writer who risks wasting their own time and some printing costs, a failed director not only risks wasting the time of a cast, crew and everybody else who had high hopes for the project but also money. Generally speaking, bucket-loads of investor’s money. Shone in this light one may reason that the associated risk between the aspiring writer and aspiring director varies significantly.

Talent limitations aside, investment risk may be one of the largest obstacles to the newcomer, the aspiring director looking for their first big break. Despite an acknowledgment in the film industry that many first-time filmmakers have made great films, backers still feel a lot safer when knowing the director’s track record (Spratt, interview, 2011, Appendix A). Herein lies the conundrum for the first-timer, because every proven director of feature film has to have made their debut feature at some point.

“You need those small films to be a proving ground for new talent” – Kristian Connelly of Cinema Nova (Interview, 2011, Appendix A)

Like many big businesses, the movie business can appear both intimidating and somewhat of an impenetrable fortress to an outsider like myself, an aspiring writer/director. When considering my upcoming attempt to infiltrate the film industry as a writer/director it would seem logical to first formulate a strategy. Whilst there may be as many different approaches as DVD’s on the library shelf, I’m going to assume the position of writing the script first and selling myself as a director second.

It’s at this point that I, the aspiring writer/director, am beginning to think strategically about writing the script that I plan to direct. A good strategy would be to write a script that has a shot at gaining the attention of a credible producer with a proven track record of screen credits, to write a script that will translate into to a successful film, critically and financially.

Such a strategy is problematic however, for within the film industry exists a symmetrical ignorance of supply uncertainty and demand uncertainty between producers and audiences. Neither the producer nor the audience can predict in advance whether or not a particular film will be successful (Caves, 2000).

Such symmetrical ignorance is what William Goldman was referring to when he coined what became the famous film industry adage “Nobody knows anything” (Goldman, 1983). Economic studies have since concluded that Goldman was correct, that prediction of success is impossible due to the infinite variance in motion picture profit, a phenomenon now often referred to as the Nobody Knows Principal (De Vany, 2004).

A film’s success is determined by a multitude of factors, including but not limited to, any influence exerted by the scriptwriter alone, or director too for that matter. In fact, it has been suggested that “No picture has ever been made that is good enough to sell itself” (Donahue, 1987). Studies have shown that a film’s success is dependent on many fields including the wider creative sphere, the scheduling and release pattern, and the marketing effort (Litman, 1983). Marketing campaigns in particular are perceived as so crucial to a film’s success that market research is widely employed in an attempt to foretell a film’s success in the marketplace. Ironically it’s market research that drove many major Hollywood studios to turn down film projects such as Star Wars, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial and Raiders of the Lost Ark (Wasko, 2003). Holding true to the Nobody Knows Principal, research is the least understood and the most misunderstood component of the theatrical distribution process (Marich, 2005).

The process of directing and producing coupled with the highly complex and often uncertain realms of marketing and distribution not only sits outside the scope of a dedicated screenwriting exercise in terms of respective disciplinary areas but also occupies a timeline that extends beyond completion of the completed script. Without producers, distributors, exhibitors and a full crew on board, any strategic screenwriting decisions that are designed to better one’s chances of getting their film project green-lit are somewhat limited.

Attempting to break into the feature filmmaking industry with an endorsement of Goldman’s Nobody Knows principal may be seen as suggestive that the notion of strategic decision-making is useless. On the contrary, I’m sure that even Goldman would agree that a chain of bad enough decisions would lead the aspiring filmmaker down a somewhat predictable path to nowhere. Despite Goldman’s uncertainty surrounding the endgame scenario, I believe that a writer can still improve their odds with a sharp instinct in order to develop a screenplay that a producer is willing to punt on, an important stage in the pursuit of the green light.

Does this mean that all one can rely upon is their talent and instinct? Such things are very important and may well be the complete arsenal, as Goldman’s adage implies, but I’m also interested in looking to the industry landscape for clues in order to develop my own strategy that will potentially better an aspiring writer/director’s chances of getting their feature film project green-lit. First-time filmmakers need to make clever decisions that in turn transform their limitations into strengths, such as how a horror director often exploits the dark nature of the genre in the sense of not requiring large budgets for well- lit opulent set pieces (Maric, interview, 2011, Appendix A).

As discussed, the film industry is a big business and financial risk is a big obstacle, so how about minimising the size of the investment? It’s known that many popular filmmakers made their foray into the industry with a low budget production; directors such as Quentin Tarantino with Reservoir Dogs (1992), Kevin Smith with Clerks (1994) and James Wan with Saw (2004) to name but only a few. One particular element that these films all share in common is the small number of locations. Often we hear films referred to as single-location films but it should be noted that although many such films have multiple sets it’s often the shooting location itself that defines a single location production. One technical advantage is that the film crew doesn’t need to continually pack up the equipment into a truck and haul it to different locations – such an advantage saves a considerable amount of time and money.

“At all times we had low budget in mind. We kept bringing the story back to key locations - the less you need to move the better.” – Darren Ashton on Razzle Dazzle: A Jouney Into Dance (2007) (Simpson Huberman, 2007).

“Attend local live theater until you discover that great one-room play that totally captivates an audience for 90 minutes. You have just discovered liquid gold” (Simens, 2008).

“I figured out that the best way to get a film made was to think up a genre film that could be shot in a single location with a limited cast of characters, and therefore could be made for a low budget.” – Oliver Blackburn on Donkey Punch (2008) (Papamichael, 2008).

Single location doesn’t necessarily mean low-cost if the film contains a multitude of other elements to bloat the budget such as expensive big-name actors, big stunts, big sound and even bigger special effects. With all these elements in place the production budget of a story largely confined to an aeroplane and control tower can still be enormous; the total production budget for Snakes on a Plane (2006) was US$33 million and Air Force One (1997) cost a whopping US$85 million. Conversely, Airplane! (1980) had a much smaller production budget of US$3.5 million and United 93 (2006) cost US$15 million. Incidentally, both latter films out-grossed Snakes on a Plane in worldwide sales (boxofficemojo.com, 2010).

When considering locations, it should also be noted that interior locations are preferable to exterior locations for cost-effective scheduling reasons. Interiors may be lit and shot irrespective of the natural elements such as rain or fog, nor are interior shoots at the mercy of the sun’s movements that effect the quality of light and it’s duration depending on the time of year. Costly scheduling delays also occur when swapping between day and night shoots due to the cast and crew’s right to rest before coming back to work again (Singleton, 1991).

“We never knew what scenes we were going to shoot next, because of the weather and things like that” – Daniel Travis on Open Water (2003) (Bluett, 2004).

There are limitless other ways to save on budget besides limiting the shoot to a single location and there is a plethora of low-budget filmmakers, old and new, constantly crunching the production costs to great success. For example, many low budget movies are synonymous with B-grade movies, otherwise known as the B-movie. Many B-movies have multiple locations, large casts and special effects that require the production budget to be spread thinly, resulting in the cutting of corners that arguably become endearing hallmarks of the genre amongst its fans.

And to such filmmakers’ credit there exists popular independent studios with an artistic and sometimes profitable niche such as Troma Entertainment (Kaufman et al., 2003). Peter Jackson, amongst the most well-known block-buster directors of our time, began his illustrious career with Bad Taste, a quintessential B-grade movie from New Zealand. Such productions can offer the director a platform by which to demonstrate high levels of innovation and creative talent, particularly in regards to special effects – an area in which Peter Jackson’s A-grade expertise is now recognised globally. New talent often relies on the smaller lower budget film as a stepping-stone to larger budgets with larger stars. Such directors include Stephen Daldry who made the step from Billy Elliot (2000) to The Hours (2002), and Tomas Alfredson moving from Let the Right One In (2008) to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) (Connelly, interview, 2011, Appendix A).

Despite the limitless array of strategic entry points into the industry that the aspiring writer/director may sight in bettering their chances at the allusive green light, it’s the single location film strategy that strikes a chord with my inner sensibilities when considering my next writing project. It not only feels right but it’s also a model that has worked for others. As a low-budget production model it fits well with another well-known film industry adage “Put the money on the screen”. Meaning that a single location shoot is cost-effective in the sense of not having cast, crew and equipment relocations that cost valuable time and money. This allows a greater budget allocation toward production values, items that either directly or indirectly appear on the screen.

“I started with the restrictions before I really had a story, because I knew I wanted to write something that I would be able to direct myself” – J Blakeson on The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009) (Concannon, 2010)

“It's often forgotten, particularly by writers, that every move on a shoot costs time, which on a low-budget feature could be better spent on achieving a cinematic feel or performance.” (Brindley, 1996)

“I think you can always try to think of ways to maximise your cash-flow and write a script that is adaptable relative to that.” – Kristijana Maric (Interview, 2011, Appendix A)

The goal of this study is to better understand a particular strategic pathway when writing a feature film script, with particular focus on the way in which the scriptwriting process is affected by the stricture of a single shooting location.

The single shooting location stricture is a force that emanates from one universe and exerts considerable influence on another; it’s an external real-world logistical factor that governs the script’s fictitious story-world. The screenwriter’s creative freedom in narrative development is being compromised in an unnatural way. The logistical parameter affects the physics of the script’s world in a way that physicists believe cannot happen in reality, that a universe is completely self-contained and events within cannot influence or be influenced by events occurring outside of it (Hawking, 1996). What this means is that the narrative within the single location script may potentially be compromised by factors bearing no relevance whatsoever to the dramatic needs of the story at hand.

The practitioner already understands that logistical constraints on screenwriting are commonplace, with issues stemming from finite durations, linear mediums and sensory limitations being amongst the most forthright. Another common example is the requirement of many television writers to base their dramatic structure around a commercial network’s necessity for ad breaks. Of course the compromises don’t necessarily stop here either, the screenwriter must accept that once optioned by a producer, their script may require additional changes as the collaborative environment expands to include many other players such as investors, companies and high-profile actors (Maric, interview, 2011, Appendix A).

However, it’s the particular single location-driven compromise of a writer’s freedom and consequential need for problem-solving, caused by one’s realistic need to implement a strategic approach in attempting to launch their career as a writer/director, which brings me to arrive at the following research question:

What issues are involved when writing a feature film screenplay set in a single interior shooting location?

Methodology

What issues are involved when writing a feature film screenplay set in a single interior shooting location? Such a question doesn’t hypothesise, rather it invokes further exploration of the script medium, more particularly the screenplay for feature film. When writing a script the single shooting location restriction may, at times, serve as an obstacle and, at others, be liberating by assisting containment of the story focus. It is the dualistic nature of the paradigm, it’s positive and negative effects, that is what I intend to investigate.

As a practice-led researcher I will actively engage the research by writing a feature length screenplay. The screenplay will be developed within the parameters of a single interior shooting location and therefore provide relevant scope for both enactual and reflective analysis of the research question as it relates to an industry practitioner.

Before embarking upon the physical writing of the single location script however, I must make a number of preliminary decisions. These involve genre, themes and structure. Structure will be the focus of the next chapter whilst genre and themes will be discussed as part of the reflective analysis following the completed screenplay. Suffice to say at this point however that I’ve decided to write a genre piece, due to both my personal interest and their increasing local support in recent times.

“I think there’s been a bit of push toward making more genre films, films which are more appealing to a wider, more mainstream audience. A few of those have come and been quite respectable” – Mark Spratt (interview, 2011, Appendix A)

It is the screenplay itself, created in a practice-led research mode, which largely forms my practitioner’s response to the research question.

Practice-led research: “Research which is both initiated in practice and then pursued through practice. This commitment to place practice at the centre of the design, conduct and reporting of research separates practice-led research from traditional research approaches.” (QUT, 2010)

Following the screenplay I will reflect and conclude upon the practice-led screenwriting process with relevance to the research question. Reflective analysis of the screenwriting process will include personal accounts, decisions, problems and solutions as well as examination of other author’s works where applicable.

SCREENWRITING WITH STRUCTURE

When embarking on the construction of a feature length motion picture screenplay, structural choice requires some careful consideration. A daunting realisation is the colossal gap between having an initial great idea and then producing 100-ish sparkling pages of cinematic gold. There are many approaches when setting out to write a screenplay. Some may feel that they must first learn to write, whilst others simply… write. For those who want to learn, there are a number of ways to do so. On the spectrum of learning methods lies self-taught at one end and formal education at the other. However, blurring the line between self-taught and formal teaching, there exists a number of screenwriting how-to texts that outline various methods of approach. Many such texts invariably lay down the ‘rules’ for the astute scholar whereas other writers keen to develop their craft may choose to rely on a process that is far more organic, relying on learning methods such as analysis, osmosis and intuition.

The focus within my research is on western cinema where Hollywood is the clear commercial dominator with a high percentage of its approximate 600 annual releases being exported to global territories (Pilkington, 2009). Australian audiences also enjoy a high volume of cinema from Europe and Asia although one visit to a video rental store will place Hollywood’s dominating saturation in an undisputable perspective. Regardless of Hollywood’s commercial domination, popular opinion on what makes a ‘quality’ screenplay is subjective and therefore varies greatly. Despite such subjective variation however, the prominent screenwriting how-to texts are remarkably similar in scope when outlining the do’s and don’ts, structure, form; the rules.

What are the rules? They are concepts ranging from temporal structural definition such as acts, sequences, scenes and beats for example, all the way to detailed narrative structure, including the very way audiences are to experience it – visually, audibly, intellectually and emotionally. There’s a lot of consensus amongst the top screenwriting gurus and it would appear that the most heavily endorsed structural element within the script is what’s known as the Three-Act Structure. Irrespective of the actual number of acts within a particular script, and whether or not the author even intends there to be definable acts, the three-act structure is often loosely understood to mean the beginning, middle and end, three elements that Aristotle thought conducive for a good story (Aristotle and Butcher, 1936). In her highly influential book Making Your Script Great, Linda Seger unapologetically outlines the rules for feature film in the prescriptive three- act structure (Fig. 1). It should also be noted that one page of a script is generally considered equivalent to one minute of screen time.

Act One Setup (page 1 to about page 15) Act One Development (from about page 15 to somewhere between pages 25 and 35) First Turning Point (somewhere in the neighborhood of pages 25 to 35)

Act Two (from about page 35 to page 75 or 80 or 90) Second Turning Point (somewhere in the neighborhood of pages 75 to 90)

Act Three (from around page 90 to page 115 or 120) Climax (approximately 5 pages from the end) Resolution (usually 3 to 5 pages from the end)

Fig 1. The three-act structure as defined by Linda Seger in Making a Good Script Great (Seger, 2010). Appendix B contains similar paradigm diagrams from Field, Vogler and McKee for cross-comparison.

Despite one’s opinion on said rules, there are some widely accepted standards that are difficult (and often undesirable) to circumvent. Many are physical constraints of the medium itself but another is the standard layout of the screenplay document that averages 90 – 120 pages. The prescriptive number of pages is due to the widely accepted duration of a feature length motion picture generally falling within the vicinity of 90 – 120 minutes, although children’s movies are often shorter with epics often being longer. Often I wonder if the duration of movies is becoming longer but I’m quickly reminded that the bloated epic isn’t anything new, William Wyler’s “bigger than” Ben-Hur (1959) clocks in at 212 minutes runtime, that’s 18 minutes longer than James Cameron’s Titanic (1997) and even 11 minutes longer than Peter Jackson’s extended edition of King Kong (2005).

Irrespective of the many factors surrounding the screenplay, the focus of this chapter is to look into the merit behind popular schools of thought regarding dramatic structure. Whilst it’s inevitable that there will always be new emerging screenwriting gurus, Syd Field will be long remembered as being amongst the first in contemporary script gurus with his 1979 best seller Screenplay. Field is considered the first person to take Screenwriting to task and pull it apart as a craft that can be both taught and learnt. (Sherry, 2008b)

Field certainly wasn’t the first to analyse the concept of story, far from it in fact, mythologist Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With a Thousand Faces was first published in 1949, and surprisingly became a best seller in 1988 when it was the subject of a television special, a year after Campbell’s death (Princeton, 2006). However backtrack a couple of thousand years and we find that the granddaddy of script doctors may be considered to be Aristotle with the publication of Poetics, written 350 B.C.E. Poetics is a scientific deconstruction of dramatic structure within the play, a precursor of the screenplay.

In this chapter I’ll be investigating the general viewpoints of four of the more prominent screenwriting gurus, Syd Field, Robert McKee, Linda Seger and Christopher Vogler. I’ll be paying particular attention to the three-act structure, as the general principals of many screenwriting gurus all appear to cascade down from this single governing form. I’ll also consider if the guru’s provide compelling teachings that are relevant to my own screenwriting practice.

Field and McKee often back their arguments with the weight of Aristotle’s Poetics whilst Vogler’s philosophy is almost exclusively that of Joseph Campbell and very much in line with the psychological theories of Carl G. Jung. Seger on the other hand, and as though there are no alternatives, doesn’t seem overly concerned with backing her screenwriting dogma at all.

However when she does, she usually does so by referring to her other books on screenwriting (Sherry, 2008b). To be fair however, Seger’s philosophy does travel with a compelling forward momentum created by the belief that a great script is such because it adheres to the rules of the medium as demonstrated in a rich catalogue of classic cinema.

THE PARADIGM

Key terms mentioned throughout many screenwriting texts are ‘structure’ and ‘form’, such nouns appear to be used in preference to ‘rules’. In general the screenwriting how- to authors appear reluctant to use the term ‘rules’. In the highly regarded Story, the dogmatic McKee states in his opening sentence that “Story is about principals, not rules”, in his book that ironically reads as almost 500 pages of rules, he states “Story is about eternal, universal forms, not formulas”, “Story is about thoroughness, not shortcuts” and “Story is about the realities, not the mysteries of writing” (McKee, 1998). Similarly, in her book Writing Your Screenplay Dr Lisa Dethridge studies the philosophies of our four prominent gurus, discussing ‘techniques’, ‘tools’ and ‘classic conventions’, however she does urge the reader to “know the rules before you break them” (Dethridge, 2003).

Whilst one may write page after page arguing whether a principal is a rule or not, one must also acknowledge the existence of the film school and that schools are often considered to be synonymous with rules. Furthermore, schools employ teachers and many teachers write books, hence film schools employ teachers who write books about making films.

With a plethora of such books on the shelf, one could assume that the texts are instructing us how a successful film is made. It may well be how a successful film is made, but is it how a successful film must be made? I should take a moment to mention that success is largely presupposed to be measured by audience appeal, financial profit, or both.

Successful Independent filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman of Toxic Avenger (1984) fame best explains why the industry has settled upon this particular definition of success when he reminds us that film “financially necessitates speaking to a broad spectrum of people” (Kaufman et al., 1998). To put it bluntly, screenplays are business plans (Caldwell, 2008).

Assuming for a moment that success is indeed such things, popular screenwriting guru Michael Hauge states that the essence of all successful movies can be broken down to the following formula:

“A sympathetic character overcomes a series of increasingly difficult, seemingly insurmountable obstacles and achieves a compelling desire.” (Hauge, 1991)

Syd Field is regarded by many as the original screenplay guru with his aptly titled book Screenplay remaining to this day a seminal text on screenwriting. Field’s theories have been taught in more than 395 colleges and universities (Sherry, 2008a). In Screenplay, Field breaks the notion of a successful feature length movie down into easy to understand components such as incidents, plot points, acts, sequences, scenes and beats (Field, 2005). Field provides the original map to the contemporary Hollywood feature film, he’s not dictating how it must be, simply how it is. In 1979 Field uncovered the paradigm, the same one that has been in place since Aristotle (Field, 2005) and offered a simplified vocabulary by which to express it. Field teaches us how to develop a character and orchestrate an emotional arc spanning three dramatic acts.

“But when all is said and done, the principals of screenwriting don’t change; they are the same no matter in what time or place or era we live. Great films are timeless – they embody and capture the times in which they were made; the human condition is the same now as it was then.” (Field, 2005)

McKee’s dogmatic Story greatly supports Field’s concepts but adds greater detail, taking it to the nth degree. If Field put the story under the microscope, then McKee has placed it under an electron microscope and examined its molecular makeup. As expected McKee breaks the story down to basic elements such as central and subplots, turning points, setups, payoffs and emotional transitions (McKee, 1998). But McKee goes further, he then breaks the story down into subatomic particles such as the contrary, the contradictory and finally the negation of the negation, “a compound negative in which a life situation turns not just quantitatively but qualitatively worse” (McKee, 1998). McKee is clearly very well versed and Story is rife with scientific diagrams but are his principals factual or is it pseudo science with an occasional reference to Aristotle adding intellectual weight to his argument?

McKee’s Story is a rather pithy volume and, to his credit, forms a very tight argument on how to write a successful screenplay. However whilst script guru William Goldman agrees with McKee by stating that “Screenplays are structure” (Goldman, 1983), he also appears to undermine the espousal of all gurus, including himself, with the previously discussed Nobody Knows Principal, the notion that nobody can predict a film’s success prior to its release.

Vogler’s The Writer’s Journey on the other hand is less of a scientific text and rather more of a philosophical insight into the soul and tradition of stories. Vogler owes his system of story structure almost entirely to mythologist Joseph Campbell’s notion of a hero’s journey. “All stories consist of a few common structural elements found universally in myths, fairy tales, dreams and movies. They are known collectively as The Hero’s Journey“ (Vogler, 1998).

Vogler comes across, at times, as not only a screenwriting guru but also a self-help guru, not unlike Anthony Robbins. Offering much more than just a system for screenwriting he offers a system for living, claiming that the two are interconnected. “The hero’s journey is more than just a description of the hidden patterns of mythology. It is a useful guide to life” and “Used wisely, these ancient tools of the storyteller’s craft still have the tremendous power to heal our people and make the world a better place” (Vogler, 1998).

Whilst I tend to agree that Vogler’s ideals are possible, I’m not convinced that every successful screenwriter is perceived as a spiritual leader. Leigh Whannell’s highly successful Saw (2004) franchise springs to mind as a series of films that invoke controversy by serving up social decay to teenage audiences. Interestingly enough however, a quick web search reveals that the self-help themes in Campbell’s work are actually penetrating the self-help arena. One can visit artsentrepreneurship.com and take a course in Dr Elliot McGucken’s Arts and Technology Entrepreneurship 101, which claims to be rooted firmly in the theories of Campbell’s Hero With a Thousand Faces and Aristotle’s Poetics (McGucken, 2004).

One possible reason for the successful gravity of Vogler’s The Writer’s Journey lies both in its track record and digestible size. Whilst working as a story analyst at Disney, Vogler produced the precursor to The Writer’s Journey, a 7-page memo titled A Practical Guide to The Hero With a Thousand Faces. One clear tactical advantage being that it’s substantially less to digest than the work of McKee. Also keep in mind that both texts have similar goals as an end result and that Vogler’s credentials of Disney doctor will no doubt impress many aspiring Hollywood screenwriters.

Vogler comes across highly positive as he pushes Campbell’s work as a lifestyle choice, “In my personal life, I was thankful to have this map to guide my quest and to help me anticipate what was around the next bend” (Vogler, 1998). Joseph Campbell has illustrated his notion of the hero in a very accessible manner. His definition of the hero, simply put, is “someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself” (Campbell, 1949). Vogler has rather neatly compiled Campbell’s work and geared it for the Hollywood script system, and when contextualised with many Hollywood classics it makes clear sense.

Vogler has arranged Campbell’s Hero’s Journey model into twelve easy to follow stages for the screenwriter (Fig. 2). However, despite such a prescriptive list Vogler, like McKee, claims form over formula. The twelve stages of the Hero’s Journey also map over Field’s three-act structure as follows: act one, stages 1-5; act two, stages 6-9; act three, stages 10-12. Vogler’s page count for each act within the screenplay is in strict accordance with Field, McKee and Seger. The correlation between models is not surprising as Field, like Vogler, draws from the work of Campbell, Seger draws from Field and, whilst McKee favours his own stamp of complexity and detail, they all draw from Aristotle and the films of Hollywood.

Fig 2. The 12 stages of the Hero’s Journey as shown in Vogler’s Writer’s Journey – “These tools have stood the test of time. They are older than the Pyramids, older than Stonehenge, older than the earliest cave paintings” (Vogler, 1998).

Whilst describing Voger’s Writer’s Journey as an excellent book, screenwriting guru Linda Seger has also decided to remove her chapter on myth for the 3rd edition of Making A Good Script Great (Seger, 2010). Does this mean that Seger doesn’t find Vogler’s principals synonymous with a great script? On the contrary, Seger prescribes many of the same principals as Vogler but without the same mythological framing. Her viewpoint on the over-arching three-act structure is virtually identical in terms of function and its individual proportions.

In Seger’s Making A Good Script Great, the chapter titled The Three-Act Structure: Why You Need It and What to Do with It surprisingly doesn’t adequately explain why we absolutely need it. Seger, like many, draws on Field’s principals, she explains how a three-act structure can be beneficial and how Aristotle’s beginning, middle and end may be thought of as setup, development and resolution; the fundamental roles of the three- act structure (Seger, 2010). However when applied to a document as complex as a screenplay these become very loose terms that some may find hopelessly simplistic (Truby, 2007). Whilst Seger may refuse to acknowledge the possibility of effective screenwriting techniques that fall outside the rigid notion of three acts, her arguments are solidly backed by many examples of what’s widely accepted as great screenwriting. If one can see beyond Seger’s unapologetic dogma then there’s a lot to be leaned about the craft of screenwriting. Moving beyond structure and design, Seger, like Field, takes the reader on a thorough journey to the core of storytelling; character.

FORM, FORMULA, DADA AND MIKE LEIGH

Ever since Syd Field’s book Screenplay hit the shelves in 1979 there’s been an ever- growing mountain of books written on the subject. Amongst these texts are an ever- growing number of screenwriting gurus contributing to the screenwriting zeitgeist with an overwhelming number of them drawing on Aristotle and Field. It shouldn’t go unmentioned however that not all screenwriting gurus share the popular affinity with Aristotle and Field’s principals. John Truby is a prominent screenwriting guru who is known for his outright rejection of both the three-act structure’s importance and Aristotle’s relevance to the film and television industry. Truby claims that Aristotle, whilst being the greatest philosopher in history, holds little practical value as a screenwriting theoretician and that the three-act structure promotes a mechanical view of story, that in many ways it’s just plain wrong (Truby, 2007).

In Field’s defense, one may cite a seemingly endless list of films that employ the three- act structure to great success but Truby quickly reminds us that the three-act structure is prevalent in most films that fail as well as most scripts that don’t sell in the first place.

Truby also goes on to remind us that Aristotle never advocated that a beginning, middle and end are the three respective components of three-acts (Truby, 2010). During a similar debate at Cannes Film Festival one year it was George Franju who urged fellow filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard to acknowledge the necessity in film for a beginning, middle and end; to which Godard famously replied “Certainly, but not necessarily in that order” (Kreidl, 1980).

When considering three-act structures and hero’s journeys in the context of Hollywood’s film catalogue, one may get an overwhelming sense of formulaic box ticking. A good example is Tom Green’s critically controversial yet commercially successful comedy Freddy Got Fingered (2001). Tom Green was amongst MTV’s biggest comic stars at the turn of the century and the prospect of bottling his peculiar brand of comedy must have sounded like a commercial triumph, but how to do so? Green, one of the most surreal and avant-garde comics of his generation, is so unconventional and unstructured. When viewing Freddy Got Fingered one can’t help but feel that co-writer Derek Harvie bottled Green’s humour by simply working down a standard screenwriting guru checklist. The end result is fascinating, Freddy Got Fingered contains all that is true to Green but is fastened together by such a mundanely obvious structure.

The strange irony is that despite being undeniably formulaic, Freddy Got Fingered is still highly unconventional and has even been sighted by critics as Dadaist (Rabin, 2007); case in point to Seger’s claim that the three-act structure needn’t create boring and predictable films (Seger, 2010).

Screenwriting gurus for the most part make the presupposition that a script is the foundation from which a successful film is made. However the film spectrum is broad, encompassing independent, arthouse, experimental and improvisational cinema. Highly successful and well known for his improvisational work is the award winning UK writer/director Mike Leigh Naked (1993), Secrets and Lies (1996) who begins with a basic premise but not a script.

Mike Leigh denounces the establishment's obsession with 'bits of paper': "Scripts as such are nothing to do with the film," he said. "The script process is a bureaucratic thing that gets in the way of films being made, because the people who fund films have not the wit, the imagination nor sophistication to find other ways or giving out the dosh without going through this devaluing, philistine nonsense." (Gibbons, 2001)

Although Leigh is secretive about precise details regarding The Mike Leigh Method, we do know that he never begins with a screenplay, instead he engages in intense improvisational work with actors until a story emerges (Gibbons, 2001) (Johnstone, 2008). The end result of Leigh’s method is visceral, often gritty social realism akin to the likes of other award winning UK filmmakers such as Ken Loach Raining Stones (1993), The Wind That Shakes the Barley (2006) and Shane Meadows Twenty Four Seven (1997), This is England (2006). Despite not being Hollywood-style films, Leigh’s movies are successful not only in Britain but also overseas. Leigh’s Secrets and Lies, by no means a blockbuster, enjoyed financial success and was nominated for 5 academy awards (boxofficemojo.com, 2010).

Leigh’s method sounds like great fun except that many such as myself just doesn’t have the experience or the credibility to wrangle cast and crew for productions even slightly larger than a guerilla film. Nor should one underrate Leigh’s talents in pulling together what he does, I admire Leigh both for what he achieves and how it achieves it – working outside the ‘Hollywood’ studio box so to speak. For now I’ll need to stick to screenwriting, if only to appease Leigh’s bureaucratic gatekeepers.

How about those guru’s then? Is their advice practical? Any wonders of what cultural relevance the onslaught of Hollywood screenwriting gurus can bring to the Australian film industry are sadly put in perspective when reminded that no film industry in the world outside Hollywood and India is viable (Bateman et al., 1996). Australian films must perform well overseas if to have any shot at being successful (commercially that is, critics don’t sign the cheques). Even Hollywood relies on the foreign film market for 64% of their total film revenues (MPAA, 2010). If films are to be made for the world market then their content needs to be relatively universal, something the screenwriting gurus claim that Hollywood films are. Such a claim is a provocative invitation into a debate that could quickly narrow to the obvious subject of trying to define what an Australian film actually is, a tangential debate that won’t change the immediate state of the world film market.

How about me then? Am I going to take the guru’s advice? The texts of screenwriting gurus are compelling to the budding writer as they unveil a paradigm with constant reference to masterpieces of cinema. A common criticism of the screenwriting gurus is that they are performing a simple parlour trick of back-engineering their principals, akin to interpreting the work of Nostradamus, always accurate in retrospect. I personally feel that the gurus have more to offer than just that, as I attribute my foray into the craft of screenwriting to their teachings. With no formal screenwriting classes to attend, it was reading the teachings of the screenwriting gurus that unveiled the paradigm so that I may begin to understand the mechanics of screenwriting.

I hope that my subconscious has gleaned what it needs from the gurus (for the time being). I always endeavour to apply a basic structural paradigm that feels right; such an instinct has undoubtedly been sharpened with the help of the gurus. I don’t pay conscious attention to the paradigm when writing particular scenes, only when I’ve completed a draft do I go back over it and possibly consult the paradigm as a structural yard-stick, if I feel that there are holes that can be filled with the guru’s philosophies.

So yes, I do draw from the gurus but not directly. Gravy, the screenplay in the next chapter that forms the practice-led component of my research, can certainly be interpreted as having a three-act structure but I believe that it can also be seen to loosely contain a five-act structure as seen in Shakespearian plays (I must mention at this point that Shakespearian plays have not informed any significant part of my research). Beyond learning the value of the ebb and tide flow that an act break may bring to a story, I never consciously thrust the notion of acts for act’s sake upon my work. Where I draw more heavily from the gurus rather is in the area of character, inner and outer conflict, and how these things may culminate into a turning point along the narrative path.

I’m generally selective about what advice to take on board and the gurus are certainly yet to provide a paint-by-numbers structural blueprint that works for me. Ironically it’s in a screenwriting ‘how-to’ book that the author puts forward the notion that those who write about writing methods should all title their book “What Works For Me” (Tobias and Heffron, 1995). I couldn’t agree more. What does and doesn’t work for me will be the focus of the reflective analysis of the writing process following the completed screenplay in the next chapter.

Although the guru’s advice may not have manifested visibly within the resultant screenplay, it has most certainly brought me to the point of being able to draw confident and autonomous conclusions on specific screenwriting principals – even if the writing may, at times, ultimately contradict the gurus’ advice. Therefore the discussions within this chapter have contributed largely to the practice-led research component in terms of learning process.

Had the teacher of Aristotle’s teacher been living in modern times then Socrates may have rationalised that William Goldman, novelist, playwright, multiple Academy Award winning screenwriter and originator of the nobody knows principal, is in fact the smartest screenwriting guru of them all.

"True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all." – Socrates (469-399 BC)

GRAVY

Written by Aaron McLoughlin

19 20 1.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY RAY is in bed asleep. He is awakened by a neighbour’s thick male Russian accent. NEIGHBOUR O/S Peter! Stop fucking your mother. Ray’s eyes snap open. Then narrow. NEIGHBOUR O/S (CONT) (Louder, more emphatic) Peter! I beg you. Stop fucking your mother! Ray gets out of bed and wanders toward a mirror. He pulls a face and checks his gums. NEIGHBOUR O/S (CONT) Stop! For the love of God! Ray is poking at his face and looking in the mirror. NEIGHBOUR O/S (CONT) Bad dog. Ray stares blankly at himself.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY Ray is standing at the kitchen sink, he opens the window and takes a deep breath. He meanders over to the pantry, opens it and pauses. After a very brief look, Ray closes the pantry and opens the refrigerator. RAY (CONT) C’mon Ray, it’s your 50th birthday, where’s the party food? (Poking around) Low-fat, no-fat... low GI... What’s that mean anyway? Some kinda army talk... Shit’s outa date anyway... INCOMING! Ray hurls a jar across the room and into the rubbish bin.

He turns back to the fridge enthusiastically. Ray finds what he’s after, holding up bacon in one hand and eggs in the other, he screws up his face.

21 2.

RAY (CONT) Trim bacon and free-range eggs... Ray gets a frying pan and flipper from the cupboard, slams the pan on the stove, turns it on and pours in oil. He proceeds by throwing the bacon in the pan and cracking the eggs. The greasy breakfast pops and spits in the pan. After a brief moment of watching the frying pan action, Ray pulls a stroke victim face then immediately turns off the stove. He yanks the frying pan from the stovetop and aggressively tips the bacon and eggs into the bin. RAY (CONT) (Mutters) Fucking truckie cuisine. Throws the pan back onto the stovetop. RAY (CONT) I need something macho, that’s not going to kill me. Looks through the pantry. Grabs a loaf of bread. Opens the fridge. Grabs a tomato. Grabs a cucumber. Ray holds the healthy options in his hands but try as he might he just isn’t feeling the magic. He looks to the bin but chooses to toss the cucumber and tomato back into the fridge instead. Goes back to the stove, pours loads more oil into the frying pan and dials up the heat. Opens the fridge, again. Grabs a couple more rashers of bacon and a couple more eggs, tosses the bacon in and cracks the eggs. RAY (CONT) (Shouts) Hey waiter! Bring me a bowl of your hardest arteries! And don’t fuck me around! Goes to the freezer, pulls out a bag of low-fat oven fries and rips them open.

Tosses a handful in with the bacon and eggs. Races over to the fridge and pulls out some meat.

22 3.

Tosses a steak into the pan, pours on more oil and prods everything around with the flipper. Ray appears to be taking out his own inadequacies on the food as he prods at it. RAY (CONT) Huh? Huh? Ray prods a bit harder. RAY (CONT) This is gonna be good! What did I ever get in return for living a life of culinary abstinence? Huh? Ray’s prodding runs out of steam and he sighs. RAY (CONT) Not just culinary, when was the last time I saw some action in the sack? Drops the flipper on the bench. RAY (CONT) Shit, it’s my birthday... What? Can I just call an escort? Is it that easy? Opens a cupboard containing the phone book. Yanks out the Yellow Pages and begins flipping through. Arriving at the escort section, Ray frantically paws over the photo-ads on display and quickly finds a service-provider to his liking. Ray grabs the phone and starts dialing. As the phone is ringing he notices his reflection in the toaster, he picks it up and holds it out at arm’s length while he strikes a few Hollywood angles. A woman speaking broken English with an Asian accent answers the phone. RECEPTIONIST O/S Top Hat Escorts. Can I help you? RAY Hi Top Hat Yeah, I’m feeling sexual and I would like to order a girl please.

RECEPTIONIST O/S Ok. So what would you like?

23 4.

RAY Well, I guess I’d like someone nice. What about the girl in your ad? She looks pretty good. RECEPTIONIST O/S I’m sorry she is not available. RAY (Suspicious) What if I wanted to book her for when she was available? RECEPTIONIST O/S She does not work here. She is photographic model. Not escort. RAY What? How does that work? So you just put a photo of any babe in the phone book even though she doesn’t work there? That’s like if I was a butcher and I put a photo in the paper of some good sausages and then when you turn up I say “Sorry, they’re photographic sausages, you can’t have them, you have to have these here shit sausages”. That isn’t any good. RECEPTIONIST O/S (Pause) I don’t know about sausages. (Pause) You still want girl? RAY Yeah. Sure. RECEPTIONIST O/S When you want her? RAY Now. What the hell, it’s my birthday. RECEPTIONIST O/S (Pause) Happy birthday sir. You want her to bring cake? RAY (Confused) Cake? You mean like some kind of sexual cake? Is it latex?

24 5.

RECEPTIONIST O/S Normal cake. Or you want her to bring sausages? RAY No cake. No sausages, there’s plenty of sausage here baby. RECEPTIONIST O/S Do you have other special request? RAY Like what? RECEPTIONIST O/S She can wear different uniforms or dominate you. RAY Nobody dominates me baby. What kind of uniforms? RECEPTIONIST O/S A nurse, or policeman... you like sausages, maybe she can be butcher. RAY A gardener? Gloves and straw hat? RECEPTIONIST O/S (Pause) I don’t know. RAY Hey, if I get one dressed as a nurse, can I claim her on Healthcare? Ray covers the mouthpiece and has a little laugh to himself at that one. The receptionist doesn’t get it. RECEPTIONIST O/S I don’t know. RAY Don’t worry. Just send me the girl. RECEPTIONIST O/S (Robot like) Ok sir. (Pause) Congratulations on your choice of escort. All our girls are high quality and very healthy. We ensure that...

25 6.

RAY Hang on a minute. Are you reading this? There is silence. The receptionist is a little embarrassed. RECEPTIONIST O/S Yes. RAY That’s ok. Don’t worry. (Shakes his head) Keep reading, it’s fascinating. RECEPTIONIST O/S We ensure that they will give you maximum pleasure and enjoyment. We are sure you will be completely satisfied... RAY Now I’d like to hear something in your own words. Can you do that? There is another pause, then... RECEPTONIST O/S (Emphatically) She is best fuck in Australia! She will make you think that butterfly has come out your arsehole! (Pause) Not real butterfly but feel like butterfly! RAY (Nodding) Yeah, that’s more like it. Butterflies. That’s great. All that stuff is great but it’s also important that she’s level headed. I don’t want one that is all fucked up, you know what I mean? RECEPTIONIST O/S Yes sir, she will be there soon. Her head will be level. RAY Cool. Ok. So how much will that cost?

RECEPTIONIST O/S Two hundred and fifty dollars for one hour.

26 7.

RAY (Rolls the eyes a little) Ok. Thanks. RECEPTIONIST O/S What is your address please? RAY Ah... right... Flat 3, 242 Grosvenor St, St Kilda. RECEPTIONIST O/S Can I have your name please? She will need to ask for someone. RAY (Looking around) Um... Eggsy. RECEPTIONIST O/S Thank you Eggsy. Have a nice time with that girl. RAY Thanks. Seeya. Ray hangs up, happy. RAY (CONT) Right Eggsy! Now things are spicing up... Ray slams the Yellow Pages shut and hurries to the pantry. He snatches some chili sauce and pours a heap in the pan. RAY (CONT) I am the eggman! Ray looks around the room. He quickly rearranges a few things in a lame attempt to clean up. Then his face drops. He looks in his wallet and pulls out a bunch of 50-dollar notes. RAY (CONT) Two hundred and fifty bucks! That’s bullshit. Ray stuffs the notes back into his wallet and tosses it onto the bench.

RAY (CONT) What am I gonna do with a hooker? I’m fifty! I’ve hardly cracked a fat in ten years!

27 8.

Ray looks down at the frying pan, the sizzling mess. RAY (CONT Eggsy? What chick would wanna screw a guy called Eggsy? (In a melodramatic woman’s voice) I love you Eggsy... Ray grabs the flipper and uses it to spitefully taunt the greasy muck in the pan through a series of malicious stirring, stabbing and flipping actions. Wrenches the pan from the stove and unapologetically tips its contents into the bin. Slams the empty pan back onto the stove. Pulls a glass from one cupboard and a bottle of wine from another. Ray hastily pours himself a drink and guzzles half of it. Somewhat appalled by his morning so far, Ray sulkily opens up the Yellow pages, and flips through to the escort pages albeit with far less enthusiasm the second time round. He finds the same ad as before and wearily picks up the telephone. Ray is halfway through the tender process of dialing, again, when a sudden ringing of the doorbell startles him half out of his skin. He slams down the phone in a panic. RAY (CONT) Crap! Crap!!! She must have run here... In a pair of stilettos? Geez she must be fit. A girl like that could give an old guy like me a heart attack! Ray takes a couple of deep breaths, swigs what’s left in his glass and slams it down. He sucks in one last deep breath and boldly marches out of the kitchen.

INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Ray pauses at the front door for a brief moment and contemplates what may lie on the other side. Ready to commit, Ray yanks the door open. Standing at the door is TONY and SARA, both urban professionals in their mid 30’s. Tony is carrying 2 6- packs of imported beer and a shopping bag. Sara has a wrapped gift.

28 9.

RAY Well... There you go, it’s my good friends Tony and Sara from work. SARA Happy Birthday Ray! TONY Happy Birthday mate! They push their way in past a bewildered Ray with a kiss and a handshake respectively. Ray pokes his head out the door and looks around suspiciously before closing the door. SARA Here you go birthday boy. Sara offers Ray his present. RAY Thanks you guys, but just hang on a minute will you? Ray quickly turns and hastily makes his way back through the living room.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY Ray skids into the kitchen and fumbles the opened phonebook so hastily that he accidentally slams it shut. He frantically flips through the pages. Tony and Sara follow into the kitchen and huddle around the fridge where Tony pulls a couple of bottles from one of the 6-packs. Ray continues to flick through the phonebook, fast but trying to look cool. He finds the escort number and dials, smiling at Tony and Sara and holding an open just one moment palm toward them. Tony holds a beer up invitingly in Ray’s direction but Ray shakes his head and points toward his glass of wine. Tony places the rest of the beer in the fridge and Sara returns a jar of pesto that she was admiring. The phone answers. RAY Yeah hi, I don’t need... Um, I’d like to cancel my order please.

There is a moment. We don’t hear the receptionist.

29 10.

RAY (CONT) No there’s no problem, I’ve just changed my mind that’s all. Ray smiles limply at Tony and Sara with a bit of an eye roll. They have slightly furrowed brows. There is a pause, broken by... RAY (CONT) I have thought about it. No I don’t want to reconsider. Yes very good, but no thanks... Yes I’m sure it would be great but I have to cancel. There is another pause. More eye rolling and shrugging. RAY (CONT) Um... Eggsy. Tony and Sara look at each other bemused. Sara lips enunciate the word “eggsy?” There is another pause. Ray sees their confusion, cups his hand over the phone. RAY (CONT) (To Tony and Sara) I ordered an omelette. RAY (CONT) (Into phone) Yeah I know, but that’s the way it goes living in a big city. Maybe next time. Thanks. Goodbye. Ray hangs up and flails his arms as he wanders past Tony and Sara and out of the kitchen. RAY (CONT) Jeez eh? Talk about pushy! They really want you to eat their omelettes.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Tony and Sara follow Ray back into the living room. TONY You don’t have to cancel your lunch because of us. RAY It’s no problem. I can eat something with you guys. You’ve brought snacks haven’t you?

30 11.

TONY Sure but... SARA Who orders an omelette? RAY We can eat the snacks or get something delivered or something. SARA Who orders an omelette? RAY It’s no big deal, plenty of people order omelettes. I belong to a cult... Say, what about my present? Ray reaches out, changing the subject. Sara hands Ray the present. He takes it and sits down on the couch. RAY (CONT) Thanks, ahh, please sit down. Ray unwraps the gift as Sara and Tony look on enthusiastically. The wrapping paper comes away to reveal a desk-sized Japanese Zen sand garden. RAY (CONT) A Japanese Zen garden... I’ve heard of these! TONY A slice of Japan at home hey Ray? We bought some snacks too. Tony pulls a couple of potato chip packs from the shopping bag and places them on the coffee table. Ray removes the various components from the Zen sand garden box and begins assembling. TONY (CONT) Haven’t tried these before, meant to be great though. Honeyed sea- bass and thyme. RAY (Bemused) Oh they’re fantastic this mob. Honeyed sea-bass and thyme. (Picks up the bag and studies it) And they’re doing some incredible things with carp.

31 12.

TONY (Screws up face) Carp? RAY (Laughs) You’ve got some good times a’comin... (Change of tone) Say, how’d you guys know it was my birthday? SARA I asked Francine in HR when you first started. RAY She’s not allowed to give out personal information like that. SARA She wouldn’t just tell anyone just anything. RAY Yeah but that’s my personal information, what about my privacy? Ray’s completed the sand garden assembly and is now raking the sand. He appears nervous. RAY (CONT) And... what about other private stuff? You know, people’s background, where they grew up, where they went to school... SARA I don’t think she’d tell us that. TONY (Joking) You got something to hide Ray? RAY Nah, of course not, I’m sure Phil in accounts does though. Ray nervously rakes at the sand garden as though burying something. SARA I heard his father is quite influential. And he visits prostitutes. Ray coughs and spills sand onto the coffee table.

32 13.

RAY What a low-life. TONY So what have you got planned today? RAY Not much. Just gonna take it easy. SARA How about we take you out to lunch. Tarnia was talking about doing something... She’ll probably bring her new boyfriend Sarm. TONY We can all go out for Tepanyaki. RAY Yeah, thanks but I think I’d rather stay at home and... SARA Come on Ray, you need to get out more make more friends... RAY Friends are only a personal liability... Except for you guys, you guys are great. Look, I’m just not one for celebrating. Tony pulls a stubbie holder from his pocket and drops his beer into it before taking a swig. RAY (CONT) Do you guys want glasses? TONY Stubbies are fine Ray, relax mate... the Queen’s not droppin’ in is she? RAY Not any more. SARA So what were you going to do then? RAY I was just going to watch Bullit on Blu-Ray. Old school meets new school.

TONY Feelin’ blue... Ray?

33 14.

Ray winces out the best smile he can manage. SARA I haven’t seen that since I was a kid, my Dad was a big Steve McQueen fan. Mind if we stay and watch it too? RAY Ahh... sure... why not, let’s go, make yourselves comfortable... Sara rearranges herself in the couch to get a comfortable view of the TV. Tony notices a golf putter and ball in the corner, he sets up the ball and swings the putter past it a couple of times. SARA So if your birthday is today then that makes you a Libra. RAY Says who? SARA That’s the way it is. If you’re celebrating a birthday today then you are a Libra. RAY How is it that the whole world agrees on that? ...Don’t quite see eye to eye on the religion thing but they’re cool with that shit. (Looks to Tony for support but gets nothing) Ok... so I’m a Libra. Are Libras intellectual... cultured? SARA Well... I took the liberty of checking your week’s horoscope. RAY Well come on then. Come on... SARA Relax, you’re gonna have a great week. However, financially, you need to make sure you invest wisely.

34 15.

TONY (Closing one eye and looking down the shaft of the golf club) Like an owl. RAY That sounds like pretty normal advice. Like I was gonna go out and invest recklessly? The doorbell rings again. Ray makes his way to the front door, still talking. RAY (CONT) Why do you need the stars to tell you to invest wisely? Everyone would be trying to do that anyway, wouldn’t they? TONY It’s also a good time to get that fabulous new hairdo that you’ve been promising yourself. RAY (Snapping fingers) See, that’s the stuff I need to hear.

INT. FRONT DOOR – DAY Ray opens the door, it’s SHEILA his mother. She’s a hardened country woman in her late 60’s all dressed up in a twin-set for the big trip to the city. SHEILA Happy Birthday Ray! RAY Mum... Come in... Sheila enters, kisses Ray and barges through to the living area with an armful of bags. RAY (CONT) You didn’t drive all the way from whoop whoop just to see me did you? SHEILA To see my only son for his 50th birthday? Of course I did!

RAY You should have at least called

35 16.

Mum. What if you came all this way and I wasn’t here? SHEILA When have you ever gone out for your birthday dear? Every year you just want to be by yourself and watch a movie. Ray makes an open mouth, open palm gesture in an attempt to highlight the obvious flaw in Sheila’s statement when compared to her actions. SHEILA (CONT) But this is your 50th Ray, grow up. RAY Mum, this is Sara and Tony, they both work with me at the office. Sara and Tony this is my mother... missus... SHEILA Sheila. Please! I’m not 100 years old Ray. (To Tony and Sara) Although I can’t believe my baby’s turning 50, it seems like only yesterday I sprung him masturbating over a Fosseys catalogue. Ray almost chokes. Tony laughs, Sara is stunned. RAY Can I get you a wine Mum? SARA Or would you like one of these Sheila? SHEILA A Beer would be great love. Sara goes to stand up. RAY It’s OK Sara, I’ll look after it. Just nobody go talking any more trash about me while I’m gone. As Ray passes Tony toward the kitchen, Tony quietly catches Ray’s ear.

TONY Fosseys hey? I was more a K-Mart guy... Easter ‘89.

36 17.

Ray shudders.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY A ruffled Ray stumbles into the kitchen and leans against the counter. Ray breathes in deeply and slowly exhales before going to the fridge and getting Sheila’s beer. He hears Tony laughing hysterically from the other room. Ray signs and pulls a bottle of gin and shot glass from the shelf. He pours it, takes a shot and slams the glass onto the counter.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Ray is composed again as he enters the living room with Sheila’s beer, a glass of wine plus the rest of the bottle under his arm. Sheila is sitting talking with Tony and Sara. Tony is still chuckling while Sara looks as stunned as before. TONY (Giggling) Ray... Ray... RAY I don’t wanna hear it Tony. TONY But... Sara silences Tony by jabbing him with her elbow. Ray hands Sheila her beer and a glass. She holds up the glass. SHEILA What’s this for? RAY Your beer. SHEILA It’s already in a glass. For Christ’s sake Ray, are you expecting the Queen to drop in? Oh, I almost forgot your birthday present, something for the kitchen.

37 18.

RAY You didn’t have to do that Mum. SHEILA You haven’t seen it yet, hahahaha! RAY (A self conscious smile is directed mainly toward Sara and Tony) Thanks Mum. Ray leans over and kisses Sheila on the cheek as he takes his present. He carefully unwraps it. Sheila notices the sand garden. SHEILA What the hell’s that? SARA A Zen garden. SHEILA Looks like a sandpit. SARA It sort of is. SHEILA What’s it for? TONY Being Zen. SHEILA I’ve heard of that. Is it to do with some kind of contentment kind of shit? RAY That’s exactly what it’s for. Ray has unwrapped his present, it’s a folded up cooking apron. Ray already suspects what’s on it and discreetly peels back one of the folds to confirm. TONY What is it Ray. RAY An apron, how thoughtful.

SARA We can see that, what’s on it.

38 19.

RAY Well... SHEILA (Laughing) Well show ‘em Ray! Put it on! Knowing exactly what’s in store, Ray holds it up apathetically and lets it unfurl by itself. It’s a cooking apron with the image of a naked woman’s torso on it. SHEILA (CONT) I know how much you like cooking... and the ladies. Hahaha! Sara and Tony laugh too, Sara’s laugh isn’t that sincere, she bugs out her eyes at Tony. Ray catches her out of the corner of his eye and flinches with embarrassment. SHEILA (CONT) I bumped into your old mates the other day. RAY My old mates? What old mates? SHEILA Yeah, you know... Steve and Dumbo! SARA Really! Ray never talks about any other friends. RAY Say, how about we watch a movie? That way we don’t have to... you know... talk. SHEILA They might be dropping in. RAY What! We haven’t been mates in like... 25 years! How do they... Sara’s phone rings, she answers it. Tony just quietly sips on his beer and waits for an argument to boil. SHEILA I told them your 50th was coming up and that they should come along too. RAY My 50th? If you say it like that you

39 20.

make it sound like a party. I can’t believe you invited them... SHEILA What’s wrong with having your family and friends around for your 50th Ray? RAY Anybody else I should know about? Next thing you’ll be telling me Dad’s coming!!! SHEILA (In an unusually serious tone) I haven’t spoken to that cunt in 20 years! There’s a long silence as Sara speaks on the phone in background. She takes it away from her ear and notices the silence for the first time. SARA Ahh... Excuse me... Ray, Tarnia’s on the phone, she wants to know if her and Sarm can come around? SHEILA The more the merrier! Ray is defeated. He buries his head in one hand and just throws the other in the air. RAY Ask them if they could bring some extra food. SHEILA No need, I brought plenty! Sheila grabs the bags she brought with her and pulls out an assortment of Tupperware containers. She lays all the containers out on the coffee table and removes the lids to reveal a bunch of party food that she prepared. It’s mostly lowbrow kid’s stuff such as mashed potato wrapped in devon with toothpicks through it, chocolate crackles, sausage rolls etc. Sara hangs up her phone and scans the coffee table. SARA Aw, how cute! SHEILA And finally, your all-time

40 21.

favourite... Sheila pulls out a couple of oranges covered in cheese, cabanossi and cocktail onion toothpicks. Sara and Tony are bemused. RAY Well, I... SHEILA When Ray was a kid... RAY (Interrupts) In the 60’s. SHEILA ...He made one of these every time we had a party. RAY And that’s what this is quickly turning into isn’t it... A party. (Mutters under his breath) Fuckit. Ray looks miserable as he sits sipping his wine in silence. Sheila takes the initiative to bring the mood up a peg. SHEILA You know Ray, that Wendy Pimpton had a baby last week. RAY Really? Another one? SHEILA (Laughs) You had your chance Ray. (To the others) She was the prettiest girl in town, and she fancied Ray. She asked him to take her to the school dance but he turned her down. She ended up going there with Horry Bunt and that was that. RAY She’s got five kids to three different fathers. She’s on welfare. Yep, there’s one that got away.

41 22.

SHEILA Besides, we always knew that Ray only ever had eyes for little gangly Debbie. TONY Debbie? The doorbell rings. Ray gets out of his chair. SARA You never told us about Debbie Ray. SHEILA Ever since he was 8 years old... RAY I’m sure everyone would like to hear all about it later Mum. Excuse me while I answer the door.

INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Ray opens the door to reveal the snobby up market and sharply dressed TARNIA, mid 30’s, from work with her ever so slightly older partner SARM, a tall lanky pretentious modern beatnik in a turtleneck and Wayfarer glasses who knows everything. They’re holding a large plate of Japanese finger food and 2 6-packs of Saporro, imported Japanese beer. RAY Tarnia. TARNIA Happy birthday Ray! (Kisses the air next to Ray’s cheek) Mwah! Have you met my partner Sarm? RAY Don’t think so. Sarm, Ray. They shake hands. RAY (CONT) Come in. Nice sushi. SARM Sashimi.

TARNIA It’s to die for!

42 23.

SARM Try some, it’s simply divine. Sarm peels the lid off the platter of sashimi and holds it out to Ray. Ray takes a piece. SARM (CONT) Here, dip it in this. Ray dunks a piece of fish into a soy sauce before tossing it into his mouth. SARM (CONT) It’s Kona Kampachi, notice the firmer flesh and slightly higher fat content than your usual Hamachi. You’ll also notice how that delicate creamy colour caries through to the taste, both creamy and smooth. Ray is tasting Sarm’s words more than the fish. RAY Mmmm... Yeah... Creamy... And smooth. TARNIA Here you go Ray darl. Tarnia hands Ray a present and ushers Tarnia and Sarm through to the living area. RAY Oh Thanks. Tarnia and Sarm, this is my mother... SHEILA Sheila! And how do yous know Ray? TARNIA I work at the office with Ray. RAY Sarm, do you know Sara and Tony... SARM We all met at the ballet last week. Ray sits down to unwrap his present. It’s another Zen sand garden. RAY Thanks guys. TARNIA Oh, did Sara and Tony get you one

43 24.

too? RAY (Cuts in) No, I mean yes... but it’s worked out good. Now I’ve got one for work and one for home. The doorbell rings. RAY (CONT) For fuh... (Looks around) ...Uh ha hahaha.

INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Ray opens the door to reveal his childhood mates STEVE and DUMBO. Steve is well composed, wearing jeans and a sports jacket and has a Bluetooth headset stuck in his ear. Dumbo on the other hand is in a gaudy parachute type tracksuit with dilapidated cowboy boots and is holding an Esky cooler - he’s plastered. STEVE Ray mate! Long time no see! DUMBO Happy Birthday gay Ray! Hahaha! STEVE (To Dumbo) C’mon Dumbo, settle down a bit mate. (To Ray) The bastard made me drive my van all the way here so I could pay for gas and he could just get shitfaced. RAY Look, ahh, this is all a bit of a shock... It’s great to see ya Steve, but what are you doin’ bringing him around here in that state? I’ve got guests. DUMBO We’re here to partae! STEVE Sure Ray, look... he’s on medication for his gammy leg and it’s kinda reacted badly with the grog.

44 25.

RAY Ah shit... It’s gammy is it? Look, I don’t wanna be the arsehole here... You can come in, but... he’s your responsibility Steve. You’ve got to keep him in check. OK? STEVE Sure thing Ray, he’s my responsibility. RAY Your responsibility. DUMBO Steve’s responsibility. STEVE Yep, my responsibility, got it. Steve and Ray shake hands, Steve and Dumbo enter the apartment. RAY Geez, Mum said you might show up, I can’t believe... you’ve barely changed... Dumbo pushes past Ray, the large Esky obscures his vision and he accidentally kicks a large floor-standing vase and breaks it. Neither Steve nor Dumbo notice. STEVE (To the other guests) Allo allo! Ray stares at the broken vase for a moment. Defeated, he closes the door and follows them through to the living room. SHEILA Hi Steve, hi Dumbo. DUMBO Ayyyyy Sheeeeeila! RAY Steve... Dumbo, this is Sara, Tony, Tarnia and Sarm. STEVE Sam? SARM Sarm.

45 26.

DUMBO Sarm? SARM Yes. STEVE But it’s Sam though, right? SARM No, it’s Sarm. DUMBO Short for Samuel? SARM No, Sarm, just Sarm, short for nothing. STEVE Where’s it from? SARM Australia. STEVE You sure? SARM Yes I’m sure. DUMBO (Aristocratically) Sarm then, whatever’s cool. (Puts the Esky on the floor and pulls the lid off) Who wants a beer then? A large Cane Toad hops out of the Esky and onto the floor. It just sits there staring at the other guests. RAY What the fuck’s that!? DUMBO A Cane Toad. She’s a beauty isn’t she? RAY I know what it is... DUMBO Why’d you ask then? RAY I mean what the fuck’s it doing

46 27.

here? DUMBO Happy birthday Raaaaaay! TONY Nah, that’s great Ray. We can all lick its back. SARA Gross! Why would we want to do that Tony? SARM The Cane Toad, or Bufo Marinus, is a variety of psychoactive toad that secretes Bufotenin from glands in its back. SARA You mean you can get high on it? SARM Absolutely, but licking its back isn’t the recommended method of extracting psychoactive toxin, amongst the Bufotenin on its back are a variety of other poisons, humans have died trying... RAY Yeah look, thanks for all the David Attenborough stuff but nobody’s dying here today... (Looks around the room assuringly) Can anybody catch one of those things? See, I’m not currently in the market for a pet. Ray glares at Dumbo who is opening the honeyed sea-bass and thyme potato chips. Ray yanks the Esky from the floor RAY (CONT) These need to go in the fridge. Come and give me a hand boys. Out here... Ray makes for the kitchen with the Esky. Dumbo shoves a handful of chips into his mouth. DUMBO (With mouth full) Fuck! These’re shit! What are they?

47 28.

STEVE I’ve got him Ray. C’mon Dumbo, just behave yourself. (To the others) He’s on medication. TONY They’re honeyed sea-bass and thyme. Steve samples a handful of chips and uncontrollably spits them out, he tries to catch it with his hand. Ray is at the kitchen door stressing. STEVE Sorry mate. RAY I’ll get a cloth. Come in here for a moment boys. Now! Steve drops the bag of chips back onto the coffee table. STEVE What the fuck!? Haven’t they heard of salt and vinegar?

INT. KITCHEN – DAY Ray jams the Esky into Steve’s arms and turns to Dumbo. RAY You bought a big fucking fat ugly frog. DUMBO Toad. RAY You bought a big fucking fat ugly toad into my fucking house! Steve is stacking the beer into the refrigerator. He holds a couple of cans out for Ray and Dumbo. STEVE Beer? RAY Nah thanks. (To Dumbo) You should probably wait out this round too mate. STEVE Where’s he from? Indonesia?

48 29.

RAY What? STEVE Then cook something Indo. RAY What?! Dumbo points to his ear, signifying that Steve is talking to somebody on the phone via his Bluetooth headset. STEVE I don’t bloody well know!? RAY (To Dumbo) And it’s not just any old frog... DUMBO Toad. RAY Whatever Dumbo! It’s eco vermin! Its very presence could screw up the entire ecological state of the... Entire state! STEVE I dunno, look for a recipe on the world wide web. (Turns to Ray) We got you a present. (Long pause) RAY Oh, you’re talkin’ to me now Steve? STEVE We got you a present. DUMBO Well actually Debbie’s got it. STEVE Shit Dumbo, you’ve given it away dumb-arse. DUMBO Sorry. RAY Debbie? DUMBO Can’t say.

49 30.

RAY (To Dumbo) As in, your sister Debbie? Dumbo pretends to zip his lip. Frustrated, Ray turns to Steve. RAY (CONT) What!? STEVE She’s still in the van getting spruced up. The doorbell rings. Ray pulls out a couple of chairs from under the kitchen table. RAY (With authority) Stay here... ‘till he sobers up at least a bit.

INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Ray answers to reveal DEBBIE, ever so slightly younger than Ray, dressed as a nurse stripper with gigantic silicone implants and holding a portable CD player covered in metallic purple paint and glitter. RAY Debbie... DEBBIE Happy Birthday Ray, long time no see. Still got a thing for nurses? RAY Who told... You’re not... Debbie marches straight in and through to the living room and over to a power socket. She bends over with her butt in the air and poking out from under her short uniform as she plugs in the CD player. Both Sara and Tarnia roll their eyes, Sarm follows suit. Tony notices all the eye rolling and decides the political thing to do would be to roll his eyes too. The Cane Toad just stares blankly. Debbie presses play and commences a tacky strip act to the sleazy song The Stroke by Billy Squire.

Steve and Dumbo both enter the living room and start clapping along with the music. Tarnia and Sarm are hugely uncomfortable and don’t know where to look. Sara

50 31. notices that Tony is admiring the act, so she hands him the nearby golf putter that he was playing with before. SARA Here... Practice your swing. Debbie continues her act, Ray’s mum hands Steve the nude apron and he slips it over Ray’s head. Tony’s still staring at Debbie, Sara turns toward him and he quickly attempts to disguise where he’s been looking by practicing his golf putt. Just as Debbie’s routine reaches the moment where she unclasps her bra to expose her jumbo chest Tony can’t help but ogle. His momentary distraction causes him to chip the golf ball too hard. The ball ricochets off various pieces of furniture with a ping... ping... pong... ping... before striking Debbie square in the groin. Debbie yelps in pain. DEBBIE Me vulva! She drops to her knees and Dumbo runs over to her. He turns back and beckons someone to stop the music. Steve leans over and yanks the CD player cord from the wall. Dumbo proceeds yelling at Tony who stands there still holding the putter like a buffoon. DUMBO Hey Tiger! What the fuck’s wrong with you?! (He starts drunkenly sobbing) This is my sister, and you’ve wrecked her Volvo! TONY I’m sorry Debbie, it was an accident. Really, I didn’t... DEBBIE It’ll be OK I think. Debbie stands up, her half undone bra precariously hanging off her chest.

She stands there for a moment and scans the room taking in one person’s expression after the next. Nobody knows what to say or do. It’s Debbie’s cue.

51 32.

DEBBIE (CONT) Look at me... I’m almost 50... and here I am standing here with barely anything on... with my brother watching... after just being hit in the vulva by a golf ball... I’ve got a flaming economics degree! What am I even thinking?! Debbie looks around the room at all the dumfounded faces as she fastens her bra back up. DEBBIE (CONT) I... QUIT!!! The various expressions all change, nobody was expecting this. Sheila makes her way over to comfort Debbie, she holds her nurse uniform over her head. SHEILA Arms up dear. Sheila slides Debbie’s skimpy nurse gear back on, she has slight trouble getting it over the silicone implants. SHEILA (CONT) It was going real nice too luv. Are you going to be OK? Debbie nods. RAY (Looking around) Come on Debbie, how about we get you something to drink. Ray ushers Debbie out toward the kitchen. On his way out he makes a quick risk assessment of the party guests and stops with Steve and Dumbo. RAY (CONT) You guys can come too. Ray notices the Cane Toad sitting in the middle of the floor. RAY (CONT) And will somebody catch that thing!

INT. KITCHEN - DAY Debbie is sitting at the kitchen table with Steve and Dumbo. Still wearing the apron, Ray brings Debbie a

52 33. beer from the fridge and sits down next to her. Ray is acting a bit awkward. DEBBIE Thanks darl. (Looks around at the kitchen décor) You single Ray? RAY Yep. DEBBIE This place could do with a woman’s touch. RAY So what are you going to do? STEVE Geez you don’t waste any time do ya Ray? Debbie can’t quickly digest Ray’s direct response to her statement. Ray realises the awkwardness and clarifies. RAY Now that you’ve quit? DEBBIE Oh... (Chuckles) Well I still have my business to run... I manage a bunch of younger girls... They need someone to look after them, keep them on the right path, make sure they don’t do all that stupid shit like giving one dollar blowjobs at bucks nights. DUMBO Hard road to becoming a millionaire. STEVE It would be Dumbo... On average you get 2 to a foot... That’s 500,000 feet... Which, in the new money is... Steve reaches for his phone and starts tapping in numbers.

STEVE (CONT) 152.4 kilometres!

53 34.

RAY To where? STEVE 152.4 kilometres, of peni. RAY Huh? STEVE To becoming a millionaire. At a dollar a pop. RAY Oh I getcha... That’s not as far as I would have thought. DEBBIE It’s about from Sydney to Newcastle! I’d love to see you gagging on all that! STEVE She’s right Ray, Sydney to Newcastle’s a lot of sausage. RAY I guess... (To Debbie. Changes the subject) So how long have you been doing... DEBBIE Whoa Ray, I’ve never... DUMBO Careful what you say about my sister Ray. RAY (Quickly cuts in) How long have you been running your business? DEBBIE Oh. Ever since I started getting old... The younger girls get most of the work, so if I was ever to see a slice of the action then it made sense to start a company. RAY (Clicking fingers) And there’s that economics degree workin’ for you!

54 35.

STEVE We all know who got the brains in that family... Hey Dumbo? DUMBO (Very slurred) Careful what you say about my sister Steve. STEVE Yeah, sure. Hey I’m sorry Debbie. Steve winks at Debbie, she tries hard not to chuckle at the sight of Dumbo sitting there shit-faced. RAY When you moved away to go to uni, I never saw you again. DEBBIE Well I wasn’t going to hang around waiting for you to ask me out. (Ray is a little embarrassed) I know you liked me Ray. RAY So when did you get into the... DEBBIE I started stripping at uni to pay my way... You know, I always meant to get another job after I graduated but I never found anything that paid as much in the first year. Besides, I’ve done pretty alright in this industry. RAY And there’s not that many jobs out there where you get to expose your genitals for money. DUMBO Hey! Careful what you say about my sister Ray. Debbie is speechless for a moment, her feelings are a little hurt but she understands the factual undertone of Ray’s joke. RAY Yeah, I didn’t mean that as a...

DEBBIE It’s OK Ray... really.

55 36.

Ray is uncomfortable, he regrets saying what he did. Ray stands up. Fast becoming drunk and cracking from the mental torture of the party, he goes for the bottle of gin and knocks it back straight from the bottle this time. STEVE Thirsty Ray? (Pauses) Rendang? Yeah I know the stuff, it’s where they boil a cow’s arsehole for 2 days. Everybody double-takes before realising Steve is talking on the phone again. Ray laughs at Steve’s conversation and turns to Debbie and Dumbo. RAY He hasn’t changed a bit has he? DUMBO So you gettin’ your sense of humour back aboutcha Ray? STEVE Yeah I understand that... and you can spice an arsehole all you want... I still won’t eat it. What else you got? RAY (Still chuckling) Yeah, maybe I am. DUMBO Well c’mon then... Wheel out the old Ray for us all to see... Ray closes his eyes and takes a meditative deep breath. DEBBIE C’mon Ray, dig deep! Eyes still closed, Ray stands there for a moment as though receiving direct communication from the cosmic consciousness. The phone rings. Ray snaps out of his trance to answer it. Debbie and Dumbo look at each other surprised. RAY (Into the telephone) Hello.

56 37.

VOICE O/S Happy Birthday Ray. RAY Who the hell’s this? VOICE O/S You don’t know? RAY If I did I wouldn’t have asked, now who is it? VOICE O/S Think Ray, think. RAY I’m thinking, and nup. Who is it? VOICE O/S I hear you’re having a party Ray. RAY Well, it’s not really a... Debbie, Steve and Dumbo tire of sitting in silence listening to Ray speak on the phone. They all decide to make their way back into the living room. Ray makes a feeble hand gesture to stop them but it’s wasted on the backs of their heads as they leave the room. Defeated once again, Ray turns his attention back to the telephone. RAY (CONT) Who is this? VOICE O/S (A man’s voice) You know who it is Ray. RAY Is it... VOICE O/S So you do remember then. RAY But you... VOICE O/S I’ll see you shortly Ray. The mysterious caller hangs up. Ray is deeply disturbed. He’s turned white as though he’s seen a

57 38. ghost. He slowly replaces the phone handset.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY Ray enters the living room where it seems the guests are mingling. Steve’s on his Bluetooth headset again. STEVE Fried grasshoppers! Don’t even bloody well think about it! Steve looks down at the Cane Toad. TARNIA (To Dumbo) So why do they call you Dumbo? DUMBO Glad you asked... Dumbo, stands up in front of Tarnia and pulls the insides of his pockets out vaguely resembling a pair of elephant ears. DUMBO (CONT) There’s yer elephant ears. RAY Steve! Steve looks up to see Ray pointing and clicking his fingers at Dumbo who’s sniggering so much he can barely get on to the next part of his act. STEVE Mate... Stick the sambal too! (Looks over to check on Dumbo) You’ll have us all shittin’ through the eye of a needle for a week! RAY I said keep an eye on him Steve! DUMBO Now for the... Dumbo reaches for his fly. STEVE I’ve got a situation here, call us back when you come up with something edible. (To Dumbo) Dumbo! Stop right there!

58 39.

DUMBO But she asked... STEVE I know what she asked, just don’t. TARNIA I don’t get it. RAY You don’t want to get it. DUMBO I’m happy to give it... STEVE Just sit down and behave yourself Dumbo, OK? TARNIA Seriously, I don’t get it. Sara leans over and whispers in Tarnia’s ear. Tarnia’s expression turns to horror. She gives Dumbo daggers. DUMBO (Flopping down into his chair) You’re all such party poopers. RAY Remember Steve, your responsibility. Ray’s mega stressed over the mingling of his 2 worlds. He pulls his hands through his hair almost stretching the skin clean off his face. SHEILA What’s the matter Ray, you look as though you’ve seen a ghost? RAY Did anybody hear the phone ring? TONY Relax Ray! Enjoy the party mate! RAY In a minute, did the phone ring? STEVE I dunno... You should know, you were on the phone a minute ago. RAY I was on the phone?

59 40.

STEVE Yeah, you were on the phone. RAY I was on the phone, wasn’t I? STEVE Yes mate. For the 3rd time, you were on the fucking phone. RAY I thought so. STEVE What are you on about? DEBBIE Just sit down and enjoy yourself Ray baby. RAY In a minute. Ray looks ill, he makes a hasty dash for the toilet. DUMBO (Calls out) Can’t you hold your piss mate?

INT. BATHROOM - DAY Ray bursts into the bathroom and sits down on the toilet for a moment. He’s sweating profusely. He pulls madly at the toilet paper and mops his brow with it. He leaps off the seat, wrenches the lid up and vomits into the bowl.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Ray mopes back into the living room where everyone is finally talking in a civilised group conversation. STEVE S’what do you do for a crust Sam? SARM I’m an audio engineer. DUMBO Sounds interesting.

SARM Yes they are... Audio engineers all find sound interesting...

60 41.

Dumbo is confused over Sarm’s bad humour. SARM (CONT) Your tracksuit could do with some EQ... Dumbo doesn’t get the reference to his loud tracksuit and is wondering whether or not he should lean over and punch Sarm, when he spots Ray in the room. DUMBO Here he is, the old Ray’s back! Ray staggers in looking half out of it and very messy. SARM Seriously though, sound engineering is a great job, I’ve just gotten back from Japan where I’ve been recording the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Yoichiro Omachi in action... Ray walks past and drops a very pronounced fart. RAY Why don’t you record that! Sarm does his best not to show his distaste for Ray’s sudden reversion to a very basic sense of humour. Dumbo however rolls around in hysterics. Ray sits down next to Debbie and pours a glass of wine. SARM Maestro Omachi is simply remarkable to watch, particularly the intensity in which he... Dumbo lets rip with a fart this time, longer and louder than Ray’s. DUMBO Hahaha! Hey Sam, did ya hear the percussion in the wind section? Sarm ignores Dumbo completely. SARM He’s been an accomplished conductor for just over 50 years now. I’ve never before seen the type...

DUMBO (Smelling the air) Not very Japanese though, more like Sea-bass.

61 42.

SARM He was the first Japanese conductor to conduct... Dumbo uses his hand to scoop the smell over to Sarm who speaks slow and precise, ignoring Dumbo and continuing his attempt to exercise utmost Zen tolerance despite his eyeballs burning with rage. SARM (CONT) ...Madame Butterfly at the Vienna State Operrrrr... AHHHH! Sarm launches himself toward Dumbo, in exercising the last morsel of restraint he leans in close and speaks quietly but sternly. SARM (CONT) Philistine. With noses almost touching, Dumbo lets out a long loud beer burp and then finishes by blowing the foul stench into Sarm’s face. SARM (CONT) Oh you asked for it! Sarm stands up and holds out his fists. Dumbo stands up too. DUMBO Well come on then... Madame Butterfly... TARNIA Please Sarm... Turn the other cheek! Dumbo’s a very ill man! SARM No... No... He knows what he’s doing. He asked for it. Sarm stretches out into a ridiculously low and elaborate martial arts fighting stance. DUMBO That’s bullshit... STEVE What is it with you guys and all this Japanese shit? SARM Chinese Steve. This ancient and deadly form of Wushu predates the Xia Dynasty.

62 43.

Dumbo circles Sarm, his pockets are still hanging out. Sarm turns on the spot facing Dumbo in his hostile stance. STEVE You obviously know a lot about Asia Sam, what’s a tasty Indo dish? RAY This is bullshit Steve! Awaiting Sarm’s response, Steve momentarily delays calling off Dumbo. Dumbo tries a couple of times to enter Sarm’s space. Each time Dumbo tries, Sarm retaliates with an ornate lunge causing Dumbo to back off. SARM I think you’ll find satay sticks to be widely accepted in western food culture Steve. STEVE Satay! You’re a fucking genius Sam! RAY Your responsibility Steve! STEVE (To Ray) Yeah fair enough Ray. (To Sarm) Come on Sam, you’ve proven your point, you’re not only a culinary genius but could probably also give Jackie Chan what for, how about we call it a day? Sarm’s not backing down. Dumbo moves in and Sarm lunges causing Dumbo to back off again. STEVE (CONT) Hey! He’s got a gammy leg for Christ’s sake! The very moment that Sarm glances in Steve’s direction and lowers his fists is when Dumbo attacks. Sarm thinks quick enough to launch a pissy front kick up into Dumbo’s nose. Dumbo steps back holding his bleeding nose.

DUMBO That hurt you dickhead!

63 44.

RAY Alright! That’s enough guys! Dumbo regroups, Steve hands him a beer. STEVE Here you go mate, just let it go. Dumbo grabs Steve’s beer from his hand and takes a swig, he then hands the beer back and wipes his bleeding nose before rushing at Sarm and decking him with a great hay-bailer of a punch. Ray rushes in and tackles Dumbo out of the way. Sarm goes straight back into the bookcase and falls down in an unconscious heap amongst everything else that falls from the shelves onto the floor. Tarnia races to Sarm’s rescue. RAY (Hugely upset) Ah crap!!! Everyone’s crowded around Sarm and watching as he slowly opens his eyes. Dumbo is still in Ray’s sleeper hold and turning red as he hurls abuse at Sarm. DUMBO Shyte Dynasty more like it, you can’t even beat a medicated old fart with a gammy leg. Sheila appears with a wet flannel and hands it to Tarnia. RAY (To Steve) He was your responsibility Steve! This is exactly what he did at my 21st... STEVE Yeah, sorry about your shit Ray... Steve holds up the destroyed remains of a model sailing ship. Pissed off, Ray drops Dumbo onto the floor, then stands back and takes a handful of potato chips and stuffs them into his mouth. When the flavour kicks in he immediately spits them out.

RAY You’re right, these are bullshit!

64 45.

TARNIA (To Sarm) I think it’s best we get you home. Tarnia stands up and pulls Sarm up from the floor. RAY Look, you don’t have to... TARNIA Enjoy your party Ray. RAY Hey, Jackie David Attenborough Chan here started it! TARNIA Fine. If that’s how you prefer to remember it Ray. SARM (Concussed) Happy Birthday Ray. Tarnia carefully props Sarm as she walks him to the door. DUMBO C’mon Sam, no hard feelings mate! RAY See, he’s apologised... Ray follows Tarnia and Sarm to the front door. RAY (CONT) You can stay if you want. SARM (Babbling under concussion) We’d love to, but the Cane Toad has driven us away Ray. Sarm points to the Cane Toad who, as usual, just stares blankly. SARM (CONT) Bye Kermit. TARNIA See you at work Ray.

Tarnia and Sarm leave and Ray closes the door behind them and wanders back into the living room. He’s barely back in the living area when the doorbell rings.

65 46.

RAY What now?

INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Ray barges back to the door and opens it to reveal GRAVY, a 50-year-old man in a tight suit and bowler hat. He’s carrying an old broken suitcase. Ray stands dumbstruck for a moment. RAY Gravy... GRAVY Well? Are you going to invite me in? RAY Jesus Christ! GRAVY Not quite. (Barging in) But I do the odd miracle. RAY You haven’t changed a bit. GRAVY Wish I could say the same for you Ray... Your face looks like a shaved ball-bag. Ray closes the door. Gravy is now standing in the living room. Everyone is sitting in silence after the downer the fight’s put on the party, nobody’s paying attention to Ray or Gravy. GRAVY (CONT) Well, are you going to introduce me to your friends? RAY (Very discreetly) What are you doing here? GRAVY (Hint of sarcasm) Come to celebrate with my old buddy.

Gravy sees Ray glaring.

66 47.

GRAVY (CONT) Sucking lemons for your birthday Ray? Come on, where’s that happy little nutbag from the old days? Ray’s still fumbling for words. Sheila notices Ray. SHEILA Who was at the door Ray? RAY Nobody. GRAVY What do you mean, nobody? Not ashamed of your old mate Gravy are you? Now I feel like shit. RAY Shut up will ya! GRAVY Don’t seem so happy to see me. RAY Why would I be happy to see you? If you’re standing in front of me then it’s because I’ve just gone totally nuts, you’re bullshit. Ray stops and looks around. Everybody is watching him, except Dumbo who’s flaked out in an armchair with dried blood running from his nose to his lip. SHEILA Ray? RAY What? SHEILA Who are you talking to? RAY No one... Relax everybody, just talking to myself, waffling on a bit, might be the grog. Hey the party boy can go a bit mental can’t he? GRAVY Talking to yourself, is that what you call it?

Ray sits down next to Debbie, pours himself another glass of wine and swills the whole thing.

67 48.

DEBBIE Maybe you should slow down a bit Ray. GRAVY (Looks Debbie up and down) Who’s the babe Ray? Ray ignores him. Everyone’s staring at Ray. Ray just wants to talk continuously so as to ignore Gravy. RAY I really don’t know how Phil down in accounts still has his job. GRAVY Come on Ray, cut the shit. RAY (Ignoring Gravy) I mean maybe the whole thing’s not over yet, but as you say Sara if his father is highly influential. Gravy is carefully lowering a big gob of saliva into the neck of Tony’s beer. Tony drinks it. Debbie leans forward to get a snack from the coffee table. Gravy looks down her cleavage and then at her face. After a brief moment of study he twigs... GRAVY Holy crap Ray! The Babe’s Debbie! Go Ray! You finally ended up with Debbie! I mean she used to be so ordinary, that’s why I never quite got your obsession, but you Ray... You could see into the fuckin’ future! Check out the rack! RAY (To everybody) Excuse me a minute will you? Ray gets up and makes for the bedroom.

INT. RAY’S BEDROOM - DAY Ray waits in his bedroom. Gravy walks in and Ray shuts the door.

RAY Listen you arsehole, why don’t you just fuck off?

68 49.

GRAVY Woah! Ray! I’m your best mate! RAY No offence Gravy but you’re not real. GRAVY Well I’m back Ray, I ain’t going anywhere. You owe me that. After what you did. RAY That was an accident. GRAVY Is that what you call it? RAY It wasn’t what I wanted. GRAVY Well I guess it’s in the past, and I’m here now so... RAY So nothing. (Raising his voice slightly) I want you out of here Gravy. GRAVY Now don’t be like that. We’re gonna have some good sick fun like in the old days. Later on when the party heats up you, me and Debbie can all have a manage-a-trois! RAY Whoa! We’re not doing anything, OK? I’m not with Debbie. She just turned up uninvited, like you. GRAVY Yeah but... RAY I want you to fuck off! Are your ears painted on? GRAVY You tell me. You invented me.

RAY (Voice quite loud now) Yeah well I gave you real good

69 50.

hearing OK? So listen up. I want you out of here, out of my head, I want you fucking gone! Ray is flapping his ears. RAY (CONT) Blah blah blah blah blah... Gravy grabs one of Ray’s golf clubs. GRAVY I can help you get Debbie, you’ll thank me for it! Gravy runs his tongue up the shaft of the golf club. GRAVY (CONT) And now the head. He flicks his tongue all around the wooden head of the club. RAY Fuck off Gravy! There is a knock at the bedroom door. RAY (CONT) Yeah come in. The door opens. It’s Sheila. SHEILA Are you alright Ray? RAY Yeah I’m fine. SHEILA Are you sure, I heard you yelling. RAY I’m probably a bit stressed. Everybody turning up like this. SHEILA I’m worried about you Ray. GRAVY Sure she’s worried about you. That’s why she didn’t get you out of nappies until you were six years old. RAY Bullshit! I was five.

70 51.

GRAVY That’s right. I remember. Didn’t she make you wear one at your birthday party? SHEILA I heard you talking about Gravy. Ray stares at Sheila. SHEILA (CONT) It’s not what I think it is, is it? RAY What do you think it is? SHEILA Gravy was your imaginary friend when you were a kid. GRAVY Yeah! That’s me, back in town. SHEILA You used to talk to him all the time. GRAVY The old bag’s got a memory like an elephant. It matches her skin. Ray is looking down, uncomfortable. SHEILA You’re not still talking to him are you? RAY It only just happened. It’s like I can’t help it. He’s here. Gravy picks up a laptop from Ray’s bedside unit. RAY (CONT) Put that down! Without moving, Gravy just opens his hands releasing his grip on the laptop and letting it plummet to its death on the parquetry floor. Ray fumes. Sheila is distraught. SHEILA Maybe you could see someone about this. Come out and talk to your friends, it will do you good.

71 52.

RAY (To Gravy) Yeah, to my real friends. GRAVY Yeah, let’s get out there. I’m gonna be doin’ the horizontal hula with Debbie if you won’t.

RAY (Heading out the door) Why don’t you go and do the horizontal hula with the dog next door, I hear it’s into some weird shit.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Back to party action and the rest of the group have formed a circle and are singing along to the 80’s hit Electric Avenue by Eddy Grant as it spins around on the turntable. Dumbo’s still passed out in the armchair. Ray, Sheila and Gravy enter the room. GRAVY This is more like it! Now everybody’s getting along. RAY (Snaps) I don’t want everybody to get along! Can’t you see that!? GRAVY C’mon Ray, loosen up! Gravy enters the circle and begins breakdancing. After a few classic combos he tightens up into a great pop and lock robot routine. RAY You think you’re such a hot dancer. You can only dance like that because I make you. GRAVY (Still performing the robot) And you make me a hot dancer because you can’t dance yourself and you don’t have the balls to have a go.

72 53.

Ray bursts into the circle and pushes Gravy aside. RAY Bullshit arsehole. Ray starts dancing intensely and badly with a shit rhythm. After a shocking rendition of some classic moves, Ray drops to the floor and does a backspin. Surprisingly the backspin is the one move Ray can actually do! That is until he careers out of control and crashes into the stereo cabinet causing the needle to scrape across the record. The music stops and Ray looks up from the floor. RAY (CONT) There dickhead, what do you think of them apples? STEVE (To Sheila) Is Ray alright? Is he having a good time? He’s acting like a weird mental guy? SHEILA He was talking to his imaginary friend from when he was a kid. I don’t know what to make of it. Everybody again stares in awkward silence as Ray gets up from the floor pretending that nothing unusual has happened. Ray dusts himself off and tends to the record player, putting everything away and turning it off. GRAVY Aww! Don’t be a party pooper Ray! That big stick was just beginning to dislodge from your arse. Everybody continues to stare in silence as Ray sits down next to Debbie again. After a long pause Sara takes the initiative to break the silence. SARA Where’s Gravy been all this time? GRAVY She talks about me like I’m not in the room. Ray’s embarrassed and is looking around the room trying

73 54. not to make eye contact. RAY He’s been away. TONY Where? Prison? Sara jabs Tony with her elbow. GRAVY Away!? Tell ‘em what happened Ray. RAY There was an accident. GRAVY An accident!? You murdered me. It was murder. RAY Well it’s hardly murder. You’re standing in front of me. GRAVY I’ve had 40 years to recover. RAY He was killed. GRAVY Murdered... RAY Alright! Murder. I murdered him. Everyone gasps, except Steve who laughs. STEVE No body no crime Ray. RAY Or so I thought. GRAVY I should’ve had you up on charges. RAY Well look I’m sorry about all that. Ray realises that he appears to be speaking to nobody so he redirects his conversation to the room. He doesn’t really want to speak about his childhood but feels cornered for an explanation. RAY (CONT) Dad made me do it. When he got back

74 55.

from Vietnam he didn’t like that I’d become friends with Gravy, said he was a bad egg. Dad said I had to become a man, like him, that I had to take Gravy deep into the bush... And return alone. GRAVY So you just do whatever you’re dad tells you? RAY I was a ten-year-old boy, you dickhead! Everyone sits in total silence, not quite sure how to act in light of Ray’s “problem”. Ray sits down with the others and Gravy moves over to the table of party food and eyes it over. TONY So your old man made you knock off your imaginary friend Ray? That’s fucked up. Sara jabs Tony again. Tony looks around the room for validation. No one’s feeling very talkative after Ray’s bizarre story. TONY (CONT) Well it is! SHEILA Yep. Bill certainly was a disturbed individual. Gravy begins taking gobs of French Onion dip and sticking them to Tony’s head then carefully sticking in corn chips on their edge, constructing a thorny corn chip monster of sorts. SHEILA (CONT) Ray deserved a better father figure, didn’t you sweetheart? RAY I’d rather not talk about personal shit in front of everyone Mum. SHEILA (To the room) You’ve all probably noticed how Ray’s a bit ashamed of his hillbilly mother.

75 56.

RAY That’s not true Mum. SHEILA Bullshit Ray, I understand you not wanting to turn out like that no- good father of yours... But what have I ever done... RAY Now’s not the time Mum, OK? Ray glances around the room at all the intrigued faces, when he gets to Tony he quickly turns away trying to ignore Gravy’s corn chip monster construction on Tony’s face. RAY (CONT) (Mutters under breath) Gravy! TONY What’s Gravy doing? RAY Not much. Everyone continues to sit in silence staring at Ray. Debbie gets up from her seat and leans forward to take some finger food. Gravy quickly moves in position behind and pretends to mount her from behind. Ray tries not to have a reaction but Debbie notices his concern and pauses, still bent over the coffee table. DEBBIE What’s Gravy doing now? Gravy’s still has her in the same position and is now doing the rodeo thing, pretending to swing a lasso above his head. GRAVY Yeeeeeee-har! This could be you Ray! If only you had the cojones!!! RAY He’s... just enjoying the company. Debbie sits down again and Gravy moves over to the coffee table.

GRAVY Cow pokin’ always made me hungry.

76 57.

He picks out one of the toothpicks stuck in an orange. GRAVY (CONT) I always loved these Ray. Now that I’m back we can eat this kinda cuisine every day... Ray has an outburst. RAY Cuisine?! Cuisine?!!! It’s not cuisine! He picks up the orange and hurls it at the wall smashing it to bits. RAY (CONT) What’s wrong with you?! It’s just a ball of complete fucking... cretin... shit! Fucking cuisine. For fuck’s sake. Sheila starts crying. GRAVY Now look what you’ve done! RAY I’m sorry Mum, I... SHEILA I put a lot of love and care into that Ray! It was your favourite! Remember? Before you changed! RAY I’m sorry Mum, It was Gravy, he... Ray looks around scanning the room and the way in which everybody’s staring at him, judging him. RAY (CONT) You’re right Mum, I have changed... For the better. I know that now, as I rather foolishly tried changing back again in order to cope with this shitty party... and look where it’s gotten me. TONY C’mon Ray, everybody’s been drinking and there’ve been some disagreements, but it’s your birthday so how about we just... RAY Nup! That’s it! I can’t take it

77 58.

anymore! Thank you all for coming, it’s great that you care enough to wish me a happy birthday... but I’m obviously going through some difficulties right now and would appreciate it if you could all leave! Ray violently kicks Dumbo’s armchair to wake him up. Dumbo springs out of the chair with his dukes up before assessing the situation and composing himself. STEVE C’mon Ray, we drove... RAY I appreciate the gesture Steve but the truth is I didn’t invite anybody... STEVE What about satay sticks? Hey? Everybody eats those! Everybody without a nut allergy anyway. RAY (Gives up on Steve) Look... It’s not all your fault... I think I would just like to revert to my original plan of celebrating my birthday alone. TONY Whatever you say Ray. Everybody slowly gets up, gathers their things and wanders toward the door trying not to get too close to Ray. Gravy is silently pigging out on chocolate crackles at the coffee table, oblivious to anything else. RAY It’s been a nice party full of punch-ups and other weird shit but now it’s over. I’d like to say we should do it again sometime but unfortunately I wouldn’t mean it. Everybody is now leaving. Debbie is comforting Sheila as she walks her out. DEBBIE I might come back and check on you later Ray baby. Ray closes the door behind everyone and looks back into

78 59. the living room. Gravy’s not there, just the Cane Toad. RAY Ah shit, they forgot the frog... I mean the toad. (To the toad) Sorry mate. The condition of Ray’s once neat living room has noticeably deteriorated from all the action so far. A crash comes from the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY Ray bursts into the kitchen to find Gravy going through the fridge and tossing food onto a growing pile of food on the floor. RAY What are you doing? GRAVY Fucking tofu Ray, please. RAY What’s wrong with tofu? GRAVY Been watching you over the years Ray. There was a time you wouldn’t be seen dead eating this trendy shit. Ray glares at Gravy. RAY Hey, there’s nothing wrong with developing a sophisticated taste palette. I can’t live on just meat pies and chocolate milk. GRAVY It’s a good thing I’m moving back in for a while. (Looking back into the fridge) You’ve clearly become a wanker. RAY I don’t care what you think. You’ll disappear if I stop thinking about you. GRAVY Go on then.

79 60.

RAY Well I will GRAVY Do it. RAY I’m gonna. Ray turns his back on Gravy, rubs his temples and closes his eyes. Gravy turns back into the fridge. GRAVY Baby spinach... Gay. Gravy tosses spinach out onto the floor. GRAVY (CONT) Dahl... Gay. Gravy tosses a container of lentils out onto the floor. GRAVY (CONT) Pesto... Gay. Gravy tosses a container of pesto from the fridge, it smashes open on the growing messy heap. Ray doesn’t flinch. Gravy looks in the freezer. GRAVY (CONT) What’s this? Baked Alaska... Gay big-time. Gravy throws the Baked Alaska to the floor. Ray can no longer ignore him. RAY What’s so gay about a Baked Alaska? GRAVY It’s a big gay dessert. I Googled it. RAY What!? GRAVY I Googled it. I typed in big gay dessert, and it came back with Baked Alaska.

Ray shakes his head in disgust. He turns his back on Gravy and looks down at the mess.

80 61.

RAY Fuck off. GRAVY Cry that shit off sucker. I’ll be in the lounge if there are any calls. Ray is left dejectedly staring at the floor RAY I have to get rid of this arsehole. A loud crash comes from the living area.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY Ray marches into the lounge with a mad look in his eye. Gravy is checking out his bookcase. He’s flicking through a very expensive coffee table book. GRAVY I can’t seem to find your Pig Shooters Calendar, but hey what’s this? Renaissance art and design? RAY (He has the golf club) Put it back. GRAVY Come on Ray. We both know it’s just a bunch of dagoes flicking paint on each other. He turns some more pages, holds up a double page spread of a Raphaelite nude. GRAVY (CONT) This all you got for centrefolds these days Ray? What happened to the little boy who loved the heavy German shit? He does a big slobbering lick of the pages. RAY You sick prick. What happened to you? I never imagined you that bad. Gravy tears part of the page out with his teeth and spits it on the floor. Ray cracks. RAY (CONT) You bowler hat wearing arsehole.

81 62.

Ray rushes at Gravy and takes a swing with the golf club. Gravy dodges and Ray takes out a vase. Gravy jumps up on the couch and slaps Ray across the face. GRAVY Feisty! Ray takes another swing. Same as before, Gravy dodges, Ray misses and smashes something, Gravy slaps him. The pattern repeats again. And again but slightly harder. GRAVY (CONT) C’mon... You fight like a half- baked Alaska! Ray’s eyes are red, he appears on the verge of crying. RAY I gave you life and I can take it away. GRAVY Of course you can. Concentrate really hard now. Ray looks around. He sees the broken vase and looks at it miserably. He goes over and picks up a piece. He stares at it. Gravy all of a sudden jolts with a fright. He begins gasping for air. GRAVY (CONT) Ray! I... I can’t breathe... Ray continues his intense concentration. RAY You made me break the vase Gravy. GRAVY Ray... I’m serious... I can’t... Ray won’t stop. Gravy runs around in a stupor knocking a few other ornaments and photo frames onto the floor before dropping to his knees gasping for air and holding his throat. GRAVY (CONT) (Out of breath) Please Ray! Please! I beg you! Please! Ray still won’t stop.

82 63.

RAY (Russian accent) Please Ray, I beg of you, don’t fuck your mother. (Normal accent) You had a chance to change, but no, you’re still an arsehole. Gravy falls to the floor as he suffocates. GRAVY (Mutters) To you, I may be imaginary, but to me... my feelings are real... Gravy goes limp as all life drains from his body. RAY Feelings? He’s a human being. Ray snaps out from his trance and races over to Gravy. He’s trying to shake and wake him. RAY (CONT) What... I’m sorry mate... I got carried away... I didn’t mean... Ah shit... What have I done... What have I done... Gravy... Tears run down Ray’s cheeks as he shakes the limp Gravy in an attempt to wake him. Gravy can’t maintain the pretense and bursts out laughing in Ray’s face. Ray almost jumps out of his skin in shock. GRAVY (Cruel impersonation) What have I done... What have I done... (Laughs even harder) To you, I may be imaginary, but to me... my feelings are real... Hahahahaha!!! Gravy is laughing so hard now that he can barely breathe. GRAVY (CONT) Now I really am choking! (Impersonation) What have I done! What have I... Gravy’s joke is interrupted when Ray grabs him by the throat in an attempt to strangle him.

83 64.

Gravy uses a free hand to reach for a plate of finger food and crack it over Ray’s head. Ray instantly lets go and holds his own head instead. Gravy stands up. Another tear runs down Ray’s cheek. The thought of Ray crying is cause for Gravy to feel bad. GRAVY (CONT) Aww, c’mon Ray. Ray is holding in his sobbing with his back turned. GRAVY (CONT) C’mon Ray, give it up. Ray won’t turn around. Gravy cracks open a beer and holds it out for Ray. Ray takes the beer and stops sobbing. Gravy opens another beer for himself. GRAVY (CONT) Look at us Ray, two fifty-year-olds fighting like a couple of kids. Ray looks up from the corner of his eye. RAY Just like old times hey?

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Ray and Gravy are both sitting on the couch deep in conversation. Both are smoking and have a Zen sand garden each for an ashtray, they both methodically rake the ash in amongst the sand. The room is looking evermore grimier and trashed. GRAVY So when the old man wanted you to kill me I just ran away. Don’t you remember? RAY How could I remember that? I was a kid. What kid ever knows where their imaginary friends go? Mum used to joke about you. She got a lot of laughs when she brought you up in her speech at my twenty- first.

84 65.

GRAVY (Earnestly) Good strong laughs? About all the crazy things we did? RAY Pretty much. So where did you go? GRAVY Well you know how I always wanted to run away and join the circus, ever since it came to town that time... RAY You joined the circus? GRAVY No Ray, life wouldn’t be so kind. Sadly that was the first and last time I ever saw a circus. RAY The circus would have been perfect for you... Being allowed to do all that stuff without getting me in trouble all the time. GRAVY Yep. RAY So where did you really go? GRAVY I jumped a freight train and headed north. I made the open road my mistress. Hell, I was just a crazy kid with a head full of dreams. RAY Really? GRAVY I ended up fronting a rock band. Real gothic fuckers, cool. We hit it big and lived the good life, life was gravy, you could say. I screwed a different babe every night. RAY (Blown away with envy) Bullshit! Did you really?

85 66.

GRAVY Of course not you dickhead! That was all the shit you wanted to do. I was locked away in your sewer of a memory bank for forty years... Trapped... Unable to do anything while you were free to... do whatever you wanted. RAY Whatever I wanted hey? GRAVY That’s right Ray! You should have been thankful to have a life! And guess what? All I could do was watch while you chose to fritter it away by not living it... And instead buying into a synthetic PC bullshit lifestyle! Gravy pulls a handful of marbles from a vase and drops them all over the floor. RAY Hey! That’s unfair! I’ve been working hard, building stability for myself. Ray scrambles madly picking up the marbles. RAY (CONT) I’m not a kid anymore, I’m a sophisticated guy who wouldn’t want to go back to being like you! GRAVY Whatever. It was way too long for me to be stuck in the likes of your brain Ray, that is one fucked up place I tell you. Ray drops the handful of marbles back into the vase. RAY Well sure, I’ve got a few issues, who hasn’t? And guess what, I’m working through them, unlike you. GRAVY Alright then... After you’ve worked through things... Who are you going to be?

RAY (Pauses) Ah shit... I dunno... Not my old

86 67.

man, that’s for sure. GRAVY Well I know just the thing to help you answer the big questions Ray. You hungry? I’ll cook a slap-up meal for your birthday, for our birthday.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT Ray and Gravy sit at the table eating their meal and drinking more beer. With food still all over the floor, the kitchen is also degrading. RAY Thanks Gravy, very tasty. Very... Indo... GRAVY You don’t like it, do you? RAY That’s not true. I... GRAVY But you don’t do you? RAY It’s fine. It’s exotic. I think I can taste carp. GRAVY As most of your food is on the floor, yes I did put some of those crisps in it. RAY Phew, this beer’s coming on a bit strong. Ray swirls his fork around in the exotic Indoesque stir-fry before stabbing at something and bringing it up to his mouth. He glances down just in time to see an eyeball pierced on the end of the fork staring back at him. He looks onto his plate and spots a toad foot. Ray tosses the fork down onto the table, he quickly backs away and almost hurls.

RAY (CONT) What the fuck!

87 68.

GRAVY What’s up Ray mate? Can’t hold your piss? RAY There’s a fucking frog in it! GRAVY Ooh lah lah! RAY I mean, a fucking cane toad! GRAVY Oh that! Now that would be responsible for the exotic flavour! Ray stands up but immediately almost falls over with vertigo, he stumbles backward and quickly grabs the kitchen counter for support. The colours in the room are changing and swirling about. The room’s perspective is warping wildly. RAY What have you done? GRAVY I needed something to add some green colour but had rather foolishly thrown out the spinach earlier. Plus there’s a serious lack of protein in the fridge, I thought that... RAY It’s fucking poisonous! Ray’s legs give out momentarily, he quickly straightens himself up. Sweat is dripping from the end of his nose as the room continues to move. RAY (CONT) Shit Gravy! What have you done! Shit! Oh shit! GRAVY Relax Ray, I was trying to loosen you up! Provide answers to those big questions! Hell, it’s a party isn’t it? RAY I could fuckin’ die!!! GRAVY The real you died years ago...

88 69.

Chill out! I had it too... And I’m feelin’ groovy. RAY You’re imaginary, if I die you die! Ray stumbles out of the kitchen past a bemused Gravy.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Ray stops in front of the mirror and stares at his REFLECTION. Ray looks very messy while his reflection is cool, calm and collected. RAY (To reflection) What do you want? REFLECTION The same thing you do. RAY What’s that? REFLECTION Gravy, gone. RAY But how? REFLECTION Kill him. RAY Can’t, already tried. He’s like that liquid guy out of Terminator. You know, droplets reforming, shit like that. REFLECTION Then introduce another friend. RAY What do you mean? REFLECTION A Cane Toad. RAY What? REFLECTION Introduce a Cane Toad. RAY To who? I’m not following...

89 70.

REFLECTION C’mon Ray... Introduce a Cane Toad... For the biological control of an unwanted pest. Wipe him out! RAY Didn’t work in Queensland. REFLECTION Do it. Gravy, a Cane Toad. Ray watches a circling blowfly as he chews over his reflection’s suggestion in wonder. RAY A Cane Toad... Yeah... REFLECTION Let the Cane Toad do your dirty work. Ray is unsure. He shakes his head and ducks down toward the basin. He throws water on his face. When Ray looks up there is the biggest, toughest, meanest looking man standing behind him - MR CANE looks like a member of New Zealand’s Mongrel Mob only a little more toad-like and with rather amphibious eyes. RAY Jesus! REFLECTION Ray, meet Mr Cane. Do you like him? Built him myself, and I gotta say, probably my best work. Mr Cane quickly snatches the blowfly and shoves it into his mouth. RAY (Cheering up) Like a good looking Frankenstein, without the neck bolts. Mr Cane is standing like a machine, ready to be used. Ray reaches up and rubs where a neck bolt might be. Ray’s reflection starts laughing demonically. RAY (CONT) (To Mr Cane) Hi, I’m Ray.

Ray offers his hand.

90 71.

MR CANE Name’s Cane. RAY Cane... MR CANE Mr Cane. And Pain’s the game. GRAVY O/S (Calls out) You OK Ray? I thought I could hear... Gravy approaches the bathroom and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of Mr Cane. GRAVY (CONT) Uh, who’s your friend Ray? RAY This is Mr Cane... MR CANE And pain’s the game. RAY How about you leave me and my new friend Mr Cane here alone to talk grown-up stuff, just for a bit. GRAVY I think I might do just that... Gravy is quite frightened and quick to leave.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Gravy sits on the couch drinking himself into oblivion. He’s throwing leftover sausage rolls at a target of precariously stacked empty beer cans. He finally lands a decent shot knocking them all over when he notices Ray standing in the room with Mr Cane. GRAVY I see you’ve finished talking to your new friend. Ray stands at the door. Mr Cane takes a few steps toward Gravy before stopping and turning to Ray.

MR CANE He’s just a frail old man bro!

91 72.

GRAVY Frail? I’m at least 35 years from being frail! I could still show you a thing or two. RAY Don’t let the looks fool you Mr Cane... he’s pure evil! MR CANE Whatever you say bro. Mr Cane continues his advance. GRAVY What? I’m just a frail old man! Gravy is unnerved, he jumps up and over the back of the couch. Mr Cane effortlessly flips the couch out of the way with one hand. The couch crashes in a whole bunch of stuff smashing it to bits. RAY Whoa! Easy with those new cannons big guy! MR CANE Sorry. Gravy takes the momentary distraction as an opportunity to escape into the kitchen. Mr Cane turns to follow.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Mr Cane enters the kitchen, Gravy is nowhere to be seen. Mr Cane begins his search with the cupboards. He opens the first cupboard door so forcefully that it tears off the hinges completely. Door in hand, Mr Cane looks around to see if Ray saw, Ray’s just glaring at him from the other room. MR CANE Sorry bro. Mr Cane carefully leans the door back up in approximation with where it should be and continues his search.

Door after door, Mr Cane doesn’t find Gravy hiding. He finally gets to the last door, the pantry. Mr Cane is sure this is where he’ll be, he prepares himself.

92 73.

Mr Cane flings open the pantry door to find Gravy standing inside. As Mr Cane’s toad eyes widen Gravy tosses a heap of salt into them, Mr Cane’s greasy amphibious skin burns and bubbles with a hiss. Mr Cane roars but is distracted only enough for Gravy to narrowly make an escape back into the living room.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gravy is about to make a dash from the living room when suddenly a couple of flying chairs are hurled from the kitchen into his path. The second chair lodges firmly legs first into the plaster wall right next to him at head height. MR CANE O/S Sorry! Ray opens his mouth to speak but just shakes his head instead. GRAVY What!? What’s going on Ray!? Call him off Ray! Gravy backs into the corner of the room and cowers as the menacing burned bloodshot Mr Cane approaches. GRAVY (CONT) OK Ray, jokes gone far enough, I get it, I shouldn’t have made you eat poison toad, and I shouldn’t have said your Baked Alaska was gay. Mr Cane goes to grab Gravy. Gravy squeaks and drops into the fetal position. Mr Cane leans over, grabs Gravy by the throat and lifts him high into the air. GRAVY (CONT) (Gagging) I’m sorry Ray! I’m sorry! Mr Cane eyeballs Gravy and is about to do something terrible. GRAVY (CONT) (To Mr Cane) He doesn’t love you.

Mr Cane pauses.

93 74.

GRAVY (CONT) He doesn’t love you. He never loved you. He only befriended you to get rid of me. Mr Cane looks over his shoulder at Ray. RAY That’s bullshit! I love you. I’m a very loving man, now squeeze! GRAVY Vermin Mr Cane! He introduced you as vermin! Mr Cane lowers Gravy gently. RAY No, not vermin! With a tear in his eye, Mr Cane releases Gravy and walks out of the room, past Ray and off into the bedroom with the sound of a door slamming behind him. RAY (CONT) (Rolling his eyes at Gravy) Well that’s just great. GRAVY He was going to kill me Ray! RAY Yeah, that kinda was the plan. Ray leaves the room in a huff to check on Mr Cane.

INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT Ray is standing in the hallway knocking on the closed door of his bedroom. RAY Come on Mr Cane, come out. MR CANE O/S No. RAY Now Mr Cane, don’t make me break the door down.

CANE O/S If you break the door I’ll break your head bro.

94 75.

RAY Well what do you want Mr Cane? Come out. MR CANE O/S Tell me the truth. Am I vermin? RAY No of course not. You’re not vermin. Vermin are... Rats... You’re not a rat. MR CANE O/S Am I really not a rat? RAY You’re nothing like a rat. GRAVY (Hiding down the hall - shouts) Don’t believe him Mr Cane. RAY Shut up you. MR CANE O/S Do you love me? RAY Yes Mr Cane, I love you, now open the door. The door opens. Ray enters the bedroom and screws his nose up at the smell. RAY (CONT) Jesus Mr Cane, did you take a shit in here? MR CANE Yes. Sorry bro. RAY It’s OK. Every one deals with trauma differently. Let’s open a window eh? MR CANE I was going to do some bronzing. RAY What’s bronzing?

95 76.

GRAVY O/S (Shouts from down the hall) It’s when you rub shit on yourself. RAY (Shouting back down the hall) What? Shut up you. Anyway, how come you know that stuff when I don’t? GRAVY O/S Some things are just obvious. RAY Yeah well. Shut up. Ray slams the door. RAY (CONT) (To Mr Cane) You can’t just start dumping everywhere like a scolded puppy. You were meant to get rid of him, but you may be more fucked up than anybody. And since you’re both my imaginary friends, I must be on some one-way ticket to Palookaville. MR CANE (Sheepishly) Sorry. Ray stares at Mr Cane. RAY There’s a bathroom right out here. I need you to clean yourself up. There are clothes in there. (Points to the wardrobe) Help yourself. MR CANE Can I have a hug? RAY Now isn’t a good time for me. Have a wash first, and put on some clean clothes. MR CANE When I’ve done that. Can I have a reveal?

96 77.

RAY What? MR CANE A reveal, like in those TV shows. After a makeover they present them to their family and friends. RAY Sure, you can have a reveal.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Ray and Gravy are waiting in the living room exchanging various expressions to help pass the time. RAY (Calls out to the bedroom) What’s the hold-up? MR CANE O/S 2 more seconds bro! Ray and Gravy continue waiting patiently. GRAVY Is he still gonna kill me? RAY (Weary) I dunno. This is as much bullshit as I can handle in one day. MR CANE O/S OK! Ray heaves himself up from his seat. He exhales a couple of times before adopting the persona of a vibrant and charismatic MC. RAY Ladies and gentlemen... Family, friends and... (Looks to Gravy with a smirk) ...loved ones. (Gestures toward the room entrance) I reveal to you the new Mr Cane... Panache is the game.

Ray and Gravy provide what turns out to be a somewhat ironic golf-clap as Mr Cane strolls into the room wearing Ray’s ridiculous golf outfit with the pants tucked into the socks etc. He doesn’t look like he

97 78. wants to kill Gravy. Gravy snorts. GRAVY (Quietly) You own shit like that Ray? What a wanker. Ray stares gloomily at Mr Cane as he is posing. Ray puts his head in his hands and slowly stretches the skin back across his face. Concerned, Mr Cane stops. MR CANE What’s wrong bro? RAY Look at that shit... No, it’s good on you Mr Cane, but... Jesus... trying to fit in down at this wanky golf club... Who the fuck am I kidding? MR CANE You play a sport in this? It’d be great on the All Blacks eh? Ray is looking glum. He flops back into his chair. GRAVY What’s the matter Ray? RAY This is the shittest day of my life. There’s been punch-ons, I’ve thrown people out, including my mother... I don’t know why you guys are here... Supposed to be my birthday. It’s all crap. GRAVY C’mon Ray, we’re here to help you get your shit together. We’re your mates. RAY I dunno if you’ve noticed but my shit’s far from taking form. GRAVY More now than when I showed up earlier. RAY How do you figure that?

GRAVY Well...

98 79.

(Looking around the room. Stops at Mr Cane) You’re never leaving the house dressed like that ever again. (To Mr Cane) Looks good on you though Mr Cane. MR CANE Ta. RAY (Feeling better) I guess you’re right. GRAVY And you know what you like, what Ray likes, not what some magazine editor likes. Gravy picks up a magazine, tears a page out of it and stuffs it in his mouth. RAY Yeah Gravy! Ray tears 2 pages out of the magazine, stuffs them both in his mouth and chews. MR CANE Yeah, let’s play some games and be happy. RAY (Mouthful of paper) Games?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A montage of the three of them spending time and having fun. They play Twister, and then Monopoly. Gravy comes out with a birthday cake that Ray sniffs suspiciously and then laughs with cream on the end of his nose. Ray and Gravy are eating more of the magazine. Mr Cane eats another blowfly. Ray and Gravy laugh with their mouths full of paper.

The soundtrack is Conga by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine. The final scene in the montage is the 3 of them dancing around the living room in a conga line.

99 80.

The soundtrack is interrupted by the ring of the doorbell.

INT. FRONT DOOR - NIGHT Ray answers the door to reveal BILL, his father, his mother’s violent, alcoholic ex-husband. Bill is in his late 60’s, he’s a veteran biker, a one percenter with long grey hair tied in a pony-tail, a grey handlebar moustache, a swallow on his neck, tattooed fists full of skull rings and a cigarette hanging from his lip. RAY Dad... What... ? BILL (With a gravelly Scottish accent) Happy fucking birthday son! Mind if I come in? Bill picks up a suitcase from off the ground and marches inside. He hustles past Ray revealing the 3 piece biker patches on the back of his jacket. Bill stops dead in his tracks when he lays eyes on Gravy and Mr Cane. BILL (CONT) Who have we got here? RAY Ahh... Gravy looks terrified. BILL Hang on a minute... We’ve met before haven’t we... MR CANE (To Gravy) Ahh... How can he see us? GRAVY Who am I, doctor eyeballs Fred Hollows? How should I know? But if he can see us, I’m glad I’m not dry humping a giant ant eater. MR CANE I’m glad you’re not dry humping me.

GRAVY As if.

100 81.

MR CANE If it’s called a giant anteater, does that mean it’s a giant or it eats giant ants? GRAVY I’m pretty sure it’s a reference to the size of the actual anteater. MR CANE Not the ants? GRAVY Well now I’m not so sure. BILL I’m not sure either, but I know a couple of piss-ants when I see ‘em. Step aside. Bill pushes roughly past them. BILL (CONT) Where’s the grog? MR CANE (Not liking being pushed) Just a minute buddy. Bill turns back threateningly. Just as he’s about to give Mr Cane a serve, he suddenly places Gravy’s face. BILL Wait a minute... Yeah... I know who you are... You’re that imaginary cunt. GRAVY (Swallows lump in throat) Gravy. BILL That’s it, you just watch yourself... And who’s your wooly woofter mate? Mr Cane stiffens up and is ready to fight. MR CANE Name’s Cane. And if you said I rooted a sheep, well maybe I would accept the humour in that, but not the homo thing eh?

101 82.

BILL Take it easy tough guy! Rooting sheep. That is funny. Bill bursts into laughter. BILL (CONT) Baaaa baaaaa... Hahaha! Ha! Ha! Ha... Bill starts coughing and hacking from the laughing. BILL (CONT) Ray! (Can barely talk from the coughing) Be a good cunt and get your old man a beer. RAY Sure, why not, it might calm you down... Ray tosses Bill an unopened can of beer. Mr Cane is eyeballing Bill. BILL (To Mr Cane) Relax mate, Uncle Bill’s just fuckin’ wit’cha. Bill turns to Gravy and flashes his eyebrows back toward Mr Cane before cracking open the can and taking a skull. BILL (CONT) Ahh! I must say I’m surprised to see you Gravy. GRAVY (Shakey) Likewise Bill. BILL Ah now don’t be like that... I know what you’re thinkin’ and it was a long time ago. But right now we’re here to party, the more the merrier! (Holds up his beer) To Ray!!! Bill skulls half the can while the others watch in silence.

102 83.

BILL (CONT) (Quietly to Gravy) But as soon as this party’s over... Well... you’re gonna be cactus. Bill makes a lurid sound effect as he performs a slow and threatening cutthroat gesture with his finger. MR CANE Hey! I don’t think you wanna be talkin’ to the man like that bro! You know, when I was in prison, if somebody... BILL You just don’t let up, do ya... You want a piece of me tough guy? Mr Cane doesn’t back down. Bill skulls the rest of his beer and crushes the can onto his forehead. BILL (CONT) See, I was here to have a good time, to celebrate my son’s birthday... But it looks like this shithole appartment is too small for... (Looks around and quickly counts) The 4 of us doesn’t it? Bill lobs the empty beer can onto Mr Cane’s head. Mr Cane lunges at Bill. Bill weaves and punches Mr Cane fair in the nose. Mr Cane shakes it off. Mr Cane swings at Bill, Bill ducks and comes back up landing another punch on Mr Cane’s bleeding nose. Mr Cane takes another swing, this time Bill sidesteps and Mr Cane’s fist crashes into the TV. Bill quickly maneuvers behind Mr Cane, grabs a Japanese Sword from its display mount on the mantelpiece and holds the blade firmly to Mr Cane’s throat. BILL (CONT) You don’t fuck me... I fuck you! (Changes tone) Now are we finished playing games cockbag?

Mr Cane is silent. BILL (CONT) See, in the 70’s when I came back

103 84.

from Nam I was fit, I was a bare- knuckle tent fighting champ! (Releases Mr Cane) And every Friday night was fuck or fight! But now... I’m just too old for shitty games like this. Bill turns Mr Cane around, pushes him and kicks him in the butt, sending him stumbling onto the couch. BILL (CONT) So sit down and stop boring everybody with your prison stories! Bill picks up his suitcases. BILL (CONT) Now that we’ve all gotten to know each other, I’m gonna dump my stuff in the bedroom and then we can get this party started. (To Mr Cane) Make yourself useful, stop sooking and put some music on. It’s supposed to be a bloody party remember. Bill trots off toward the bedroom. Ray goes to follow but stops to quietly have a quick word with Gravy and Mr Cane. GRAVY What are we going to do about him? RAY I know... I don’t want him here either. MR CANE He’s hard bro. He hurt me. RAY He’s a cruel, evil bully. GRAVY He’s gotta go. MR CANE How? RAY (Looks around suspiciously) We just need to soften the old bastard up a bit. What about the shit I’m on? Any of that left?

104 85.

GRAVY Right... It’s toad cocktail time. RAY Make us all one, but just make Bill’s the special one. GRAVY It’s gonna take a little while to prepare, you’ll need to keep him busy for as long as you can. MR CANE Leave it to me, I’ll think of something... Just hope I don’t get my nose broken again. Gravy bolts out to the kitchen. Ray quickly follows Bill to the bedroom.

INT. RAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT Ray enters his bedroom. Bill is standing in the centre of the room sniffing. BILL Someone’s taken a dump in here Ray, what’s going on there? It’s not my scene, you must have got it from your mother’s side. RAY (Glumly) Yeah I know, it’s not mine, you know what party’s can be like. I haven’t had a chance to clean it up. BILL Never mind, it’s your birthday, cheer up son. RAY So, what are you doing here Dad? BILL Isn’t your old man allowed to come and wish his son a happy 50th birthday? RAY I guess, it’s just that I haven’t seen you in so long. BILL So why the long face? Now that I’m

105 86.

retired I thought I could move in for a while. RAY What! Retired!? What from? Running speed up and down the country? You never did an honest days work... BILL (Cuts in) Hey! You show your old man some fucking respect! I became a citizen of this great nation so I could serve her in honour! So dickwads like you’ve got a bedroom to shit in! What did you ever do!? RAY I don’t want to get into this old shit again Dad, and you don’t know who I am. BILL See? And that’s why I’m movin’ in... To get to know one another... RAY I dunno if that’s gonna work Dad. BILL Fuck oath it’s not gonna work, not unless things change around here, like pissing off those deadbeat mates of yours, where did you find that Kiwi prick? RAY Dad! You can’t just walk in here and... BILL (Shouts) Whoa! I can do whatever the fuck I like! I’m your old fucking man! RAY Hang on a min... BILL (Interrupts) You saw what happened out there... I might be getting’ old but you don’t wanna cross me, son.

Music can be heard from the living room. Bill’s expression changes significantly. After a moment of pause Bill grumbles.

106 87.

BILL (CONT) You’re shitting me?

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Bill barges into the living room to find Mr Cane singing along to Khe Sanh by Cold Chisel. Ray enters the living room, he doesn’t know how Mr Cane’s distraction is going to go down. BILL (Outraged) Khe Sanh! Are you taking the fucking piss!? Mr Cane keeps singing, he looks over his shoulder toward the kitchen. BILL (CONT) It’ll be Khe fucking Sanh in here if you don’t fucking stop singing!!! I was fucking there! You haven’t earned the right to sing Khe Sanh to me you pimply little fucker!!! Bill swats the needle from the record with a zzzip and marches right over to Mr Cane threateningly. Gravy enters with a tray of drinks. RAY He didn’t know Dad. (To Mr Cane) Did ya? MR CANE Ah, no... I just liked the song. Ray’s turning off the stereo properly. BILL Khe fucking Sanh... Bill closes his eyes and holds his head and makes weird noises. BILL (CONT) Nnnnnnn... Nnnyiiiiii!!! Gravy clears his throat so Bill will notice him standing there with a tray of drinks. BILL (CONT) What the fuck’s this? A gentlemen’s

107 88.

club? But without all the pussy! GRAVY It’s a party, I thought we could kick it off with... Bill snatches a glass and holds it up to the light to scrutinise. He squints suspiciously at the texture. BILL What’s in it? GRAVY Gin. BILL And...? GRAVY (Cautiously) Ice? BILL (Satisfied) Just the way I like it. Gravy relaxes with a deep sigh and hands the other drinks around. Bill holds his glass up for a toast. BILL (CONT) To Ray! RAY To me! They all down their drinks. BILL Ahh... Ray, Gravy and Mr Cane are all staring at Bill. Mr Cane leans toward Gravy and whispers... MR CANE How long’s it take? BILL What? MR CANE Nothing. BILL How long’s what take? Mr Cane stands there silent.

108 89.

BILL (CONT) Just ‘cause I was in the battle of Khe Sanh, doesn’t mean I’m fucking deaf! MR CANE Umm... The film! BILL (Holds his hand to his ear) What?! MR CANE The film... We were going to watch a film. BILL Great! I love films. Has it got lots of arseholes getting shot in the head?

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Ray, Gravy, Mr Cane and Bill are all watching a movie. BILL This is bullshit! Listen how many times he’s changed up a gear... How many gears this car got? 60 fuckin’ gears! GRAVY But... BILL Nah! Nah! Steve McQueen never did that shit! GRAVY What!? That is Steve McQueen! Who did you think we were watch... BILL Shut the fuck up! Before you say one more thing about Steve McQueen, shut the fuck up! GRAVY But you said... BILL Shut the fuck up!!! I know it’s Steve McQueen!!! What would you know about Steve McQueen?! He was real, this car chase is real,

109 90.

driven by the real Steve McQueen at real fuckin’ speeds! He’s just got more gears than I remember. But it’s real! You’re not! (Mutters) You fake cunt. Everybody goes silent and the movie continues in the background. Bill begins making a blubbering sound of a racing car changing through the gears. BILL (CONT) Brrrrrrr, brrrrrrrrrr, brrrrrrrrrrrrr, brrrrrrr, brrrrr (Up and up he goes) Into 19th! Brrrrrrrrr, I love 19th gear! It’s a long gear, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, brrr, brrrrrrrrrrrrr etc. RAY (smirking) Shit’s kicking in. Have a look at him. GRAVY I thought you were screwed up. This guy is completely mental. MR CANE A true space cadet. This statement cracks Bill up, he’s wasted with dribble all over his face from the car impersonation. BILL A space cadet. Hahahahahahahaha! Bill waves his hands around like pistols and spits a couple of laser noises. BILL (CONT) Doooo!!! Doooo!!! You dress like a cockbag but you’re a funny guy! The doorbell rings. RAY God... Who now?

INT. FRONT DOOR - NIGHT

Ray opens the front door. A myriad of carnivalesque freaks such as a LOBSTER BOY, a LIZARD MAN and a BEARDED LADY all barge in and head toward the living room. Ray calls out after them.

110 91.

RAY (CONT) Hey! Who the hell are you guys!? How about getting the fuck outa here!? LIZARD MAN We’re Bill’s friends. The bearded lady stops in front of Ray and touches her beard. BEARDED LADY Doc says I got a lot of hormones. Pretty good eh? She moves on into the living room. Ray is bewildered. Then he realises. RAY I do not fucking believe this! Mr Cane jumps up and pushes past the freaks. MR CANE What is it bro? GRAVY (Clapping) A circus! I love the circus! RAY The old man’s tripping! MR CANE Yeah, we put that shit in his drink, it was your plan. RAY Don’t you see? This is his trip, these freaks... BILL Party time!!! Bill jumps up and fumbles through the records at the stereo. More freaks are pouring in through the front door. In walks a PINHEAD, a STRONGMAN and albino SIAMESE TWINS. RAY Great! Johnny and Edgar Winter, what next?

The striped pants of a STILT WALKER brush past Ray.

111 92.

RAY (CONT) I never liked those striped stilt pants, they’re bullshit! Music starts, the lights dim and the freaks all quickly toss the furniture out of the way. The room physically expands and fills with disco smoke. Everybody moves into formation and dances the Bus Stop to the 70’s dancefloor hit by The Fatback Band. Everybody’s dancing except for Ray. Bill leads all the freaks, even Gravy and Mr Cane are dancing, they’re having fun. Especially Gravy who’s having the time of his life. Each freak steps forward in turn and performs a dance solo of their own whilst the rest of the crew continue with the groovy yet regimented official bus stop dance. It’s Gravy’s turn for his dance solo – he’s on top of the world and his dancing is astounding. Ray slumps into the couch with his head in his hands. After a spectacular dance sequence the dancefloor parts as a giant cake is wheeled into the centre of the room. Ray looks up, he’s mega pissed off but his expression alters significantly as a naked woman slowly rises from the giant cake. Everybody else, led by Bill, is standing around clapping and chanting... EVERYBODY Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! Ray! (And so on...) These new circumstances are cause for Ray to feel that his party is taking a turn for the better. He stands up and straightens his clothes out. Ray begins dancing toward the naked woman who is still slowly and magically rising from the giant cake. Ray has a grin plastered from ear to ear. Now at waist level, the figure rises from the cake to reveal a penis! The music stops as Ray loses control at the sight of the transsexual. The room has returned to its normal dimensions albeit messier than before. RAY I knew it! It’s got a dick! Ha Ha!

112 93.

Real funny guys! Dick in a cake! Ray is now clapping sarcastically. RAY (CONT) Real fuckin’ funny. A slapper who is a man. BILL You’ve always been a fussy bastard Ray! Hahahaha! Tears run down the transsexual’s face. RAY I’m sick of all this shit that’s just been put in my life to fuck with me! Debbie wanders into the living room looking around and trying to figure out what the fuss is about. Ray doesn’t notice her. RAY (CONT) I’m sick to death of all this freak-show bullshit... especially dirty fucking strippers! Ray looks around the room to eyeball everyone he’s just insulted. He sees Debbie standing there stunned. RAY (CONT) Debbie... What are you doing here? Debbie runs out of the room toward Ray’s bedroom. RAY (CONT) I didn’t mean you Debbie! Besides, you quit! And you’re normal! I meant this thing... Ray stops when the transsexual bursts into tears. The Lizard Man steps forward in a rather threatening manner, poking Ray in the chest as he speaks. LIZARD MAN That’s right, there’s no one left to insult, you’ve about covered everybody here. The party has stopped and now all the freaks are loosely circling Ray. They’re all pissed off that Ray has insulted them.

LIZARD MAN (CONT) So what is normal then? You? A pretentious wanker?

113 94.

The pinhead steps forward from the crowd rather aggressively. Mr Cane, still dressed in the ridiculous golf outfit, steps in front of Ray holding a golf club. MR CANE (To the pinhead) You just watch yourself cueball. The Strongman steps into the circle. STRONG MAN Or what? The Strongman takes the golf club from Mr Cane and proceeds bending it into a pretzel. The freaks have formed a tighter threatening circle around Ray, Gravy and Mr Cane. Ray lets out a nervous joke as he takes the club back from the Strongman. RAY Or I’ll never play golf again... Except it could come in handy for mini golf... A couple of DWARVES step forward. DWARF #1 You a funny man now? RAY I didn’t mean mini as in... DWARF #2 Yeah, I’m laughin’ real hard on the inside. (To Dwarf #1) How about you? DWARF #1 Funny man this Ray, always makin’ funny. The dwarf pulls out a butterfly knife and flicks it about like a seasoned street-tough. GRAVY We don’t want any trouble. RAY Look, you people have all come in here, acting weird and this is my house and everybody just needs to settle down.

114 95.

STILT GUY (From above) Well what do you suggest we do, short arse? DWARVES (In unison) Who are you calling a short arse? STILT GUY Sorry. The loud thunder of a Harley Davidson immediately diverts everybody’s attention. Bill rides through the front door and into the living room on his chopper. BILL Let’s party!!! The music starts again, Bill revs the bike and starts doing donuts in the centre of the room. The heat’s off Ray now that everyone is distracted by Bill’s antics. GRAVY (Nudging toward the bedroom) Ray... Ray looks for a second at the mayhem but gives in, he has a more important matter to tend to. RAY (Mutters) Debbie!

INT. RAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT Ray enters his bedroom rather sheepishly to find Debbie sitting on the end of his bed crying. Ray closes the door in an attempt to drown out the sound of the music and Bill’s Harley. RAY Debbie? DEBBIE (Grumpy) What? RAY Are you real?

115 96.

DEBBIE Of course I’m fucking real Ray! And with real feelings! Why do you think I’m crying!? RAY It’s just that there’s well quite a few people out there now and, well, you know... DEBBIE Christ Ray! How many imaginary friends do you have? RAY Just a couple, the rest aren’t mine. Debbie just stares at Ray awkwardly. Ray moves on. RAY (CONT) I’m sorry Debbie, I don’t judge you for being a stripper. DEBBIE That’s not what it sounded like out there. RAY That wasn’t meant for you, I just have a problem with strippers with breasts and a penis. DEBBIE What!? RAY Ah yeah, it’s kinda hard to explain, there was a big cake with a girl in it who was... hung. DEBBIE You’re so full of crap Ray, you are judgmental. RAY Look, chicks with dicks don’t bother me in principal but I was being tricked... Being tricked is different to... What am I even talking about this for? I’m sorry if I hurt you Debbie, I think you’re a really cool chick.

DEBBIE (Long pause) Even if I’ve got a dick?

116 97.

RAY What!!! Debbie prolongs the silence as long as she can before she bursts out laughing. DEBBIE Gotcha! RAY (Gasps) Geez Debbie! Ray looks very unsure of almost everything. DEBBIE Trust me, there’s no surprises. I think you’re a really cool guy too Ray. The Stroke, Debbie’s strip music begins blaring from another room. Shortly to follow is Gravy’s distressed voice. GRAVY O/S Ray! Ray looks around, his moment with Debbie has been interrupted. RAY Crap. Wait here, I’ll be back soon... Ray quickly grabs a golf club and leaves the bedroom to investigate.

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT Ray looks down a long surreal hallway, the ceiling and top half of the walls are completely gone, as though they’ve been torn off and are revealing a misty outdoor nothingness. At the end of the hallway is the bathroom where Bill, Japanese sword in hand, has Gravy and Mr Cane tied up in the bathtub with an extension cord. The bath taps are turned on full blast as Bill places duct tape over his captive’s mouths. Bill is boogying about to the music coming from Debbie’s CD player as he tightens the cord tightly around the distraught Gravy and Mr Cane. Ray moves slowly down the hallway toward the bathroom.

117 98.

RAY (Calls out) What is this?! BILL (Swings around) These guys gotta go son. How do you want your eggs? Boiled or poached? Bill quickly swipes Debbie’s ghetto blaster from off the floor and threatens to drop it into the bath. Ray stops moving forward and holds out his palms. RAY OK Dad, we can talk... Bill cuts Ray off by turning up the music and dancing with the ghetto blaster on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and sings along obnoxiously to Debbie’s strip song while the bath fills. Helpless, Gravy and Mr Cane just watch in fear as Bill dances with the deadly CD player in his hands. A searchlight from a chopper pierces the room and highlights Bill’s antics. Out of nowhere, a golf ball cracks Bill in the back of the head. He swings around to reveal Ray standing at the end of the hall with a golf club and a row of balls in front of him. BILL You little fucker... Ray drives another golf ball at Bill. Despite its extreme velocity, the ball just bounces off Bill’s chest. BILL (CONT) Hahaha! Another ball strikes Bill fair in the face, he’s shaken but stands strong. BILL (CONT) You little fucker. RAY These are my friends Dad! Ray drives another 4 balls in rapid succession. The impact rips at Bill’s strong stance. Another ball strikes him in the groin but he doesn’t flinch. Another ball strikes him in the groin, this

118 99. time he holds the CD player up above his head and lets out a blood-curdling warrior cry. BILL Arrrrgh! In slow motion, Bill’s tough exterior endures the golf ball firing squad until he’s finally brought down to his knees, still with the CD player held high above his head in a pose not unlike the Platoon movie poster. The chopper is still circling with the searchlight on him. A couple more strikes from golf balls and Bill eventually collapses in a heap onto the bathroom floor. Bill looks up covered in blood and tears. BILL (CONT) I’m your Dad Ray! I’m your fuckin’ Dad! Help me Ray! Call a fuckin’ ambulance! Ray can’t stand looking any longer, he drops the golf club, races into the bathroom and kneels down to tend to his Dad. RAY I’m sorry Dad, I... Bill sinks the Japanese Sword into Ray’s leg. BILL Hahaha! You stupid prick! You always did fall for that one! Ray jumps up and hops around in pain screaming. Bill attempts to stand up and Ray uses his wounded leg to swiftly kick Bill in the stomach, ribs and head, knocking him unconscious and screaming even harder from the added pain in his leg. The bath is overflowing and the CD player is on the floor. Ray rips the duct tape from Gravy and Mr Cane’s mouths. GRAVY Quick! Get us outa here! Ray braces himself and wrenches the sword from his leg and uses it to cut Gravy and Mr Cane free. Gravy assertively assesses the dangerous electrical situation and gestures toward the toilet. GRAVY (CONT) Up there!

119 100.

Mr Cane quickly grabs Gravy and Ray in his arms and leaps up onto the toilet seat just in time. The flooding water shorts out the CD player in a shower of sparks. Still lying on the bathroom floor, Bill’s body thrashes about madly until the main fuse blows and the lights go out. The three all stare at Bill’s motionless body. They slowly come down from their perch. Mr Cane reaches over and pulls the CD player plug from the wall and Gravy grabs a towel and wraps it around Ray’s bleeding leg.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Ray, Gravy and Mr Cane all sit on the edge of the bath exhausted. RAY You did good Mr Cane. MR CANE Not vermin? RAY Not vermin Mr Cane. GRAVY Our hero. Mass Man! Gravy grabs Mr Cane by the shoulders and gives him an endearing shake. Mr Cane blushes. The moment is interrupted by Debbie calling out from the hallway. DEBBIE Ray!? Ray eventually gets his wits back enough to answer. RAY In here! DEBBIE (Closer) Ray!? Through the moonlit mist and moving lights from the chopper, Ray can make out Debbie standing at the end of the hall in her nurse’s outfit. This is the most beautiful sight Ray has ever seen.

120 101.

RAY (Mutters) Debbie? DEBBIE Ray!? Ray struggles to his feet using the golf club to prop himself up. RAY (Louder) Debbie! Ray can barely walk, he staggers forward one step at a time using the golf club as a walking stick. RAY (CONT) Debbie! DEBBIE Ray! Ray keeps soldiering on toward Debbie, staggering painfully with tears streaming down his face. Gravy and Mr Cane are all broken up at the sight of all this. RAY I... don’t... need... this... Ray tosses the golf club and walks by himself, unaided. As Ray gets closer and looks like he’s about to fall over, Debbie races forward and catches him as he falls into her arms. The two gracefully fall to the floor. DEBBIE What the hell’s going on here Ray? (Gets a good look at Ray’s leg) Shit!!! What the hell did you do to your leg!? RAY Dad’s dead. DEBBIE What!? RAY In the bathroom, he’s dead.

Debbie jumps up and races into the bathroom brushing past Gravy and Mr Cane in the hallway.

121 102.

MR CANE Careful lady! DEBBIE O/S There’s nobody in here Ray. RAY What!? He’s still alive! Watch out, he must be in the shower! The bathroom and hallway no longer look surreal, the chopper is gone and the ceiling is on. Debbie pulls back the shower curtain, she looks all around the empty bathroom, behind the door, in the medicine chest, in the toilet. She picks up her CD player and returns. DEBBIE There’s nobody here sweetie, just a shitload of golf balls... She holds up her melted CD player. DEBBIE (CONT) Lucky I don’t need this anymore! Ray turns to Gravy and Mr Cane. RAY Looks like the old man won’t be bothering us anymore. GRAVY Can’t say I’ll miss him.

INT. FRONT DOOR – MORNING Ray is standing by the open front door seeing the carnival freaks out as they leave one by one. Gravy, Mr Cane and Debbie are all in the living room watching. The rising sunlight streams in through the window. RAY Pinhead... Twins... Dwarves... Strongman... Hey, give us one last flex big guy... The Strongman flexes his enormous muscles before turning and leaving. Ray continues bidding farewell to his carnie guests.

RAY (CONT) Lizard Man... Stilt guy... Shemale... Sorry mate...

122 103.

Ray pats the transsexual on the shoulder. RAY (CONT) Bearded lady... Lobster Boy... That’s all the carnival freaks gone, Ray turns to Gravy and Mr Cane. RAY (CONT) You guys need to leave now too you know. GRAVY But I thought we... RAY You said you always wanted to join the circus, if you hurry you’ll still be able to catch up with ‘em. GRAVY But what would I do? RAY They need a ringmaster. MR CANE Hahaha a ring... Ray jabs Mr Cane with his elbow and glares at him momentarily. MR CANE (CONT) Yeah, they need a ringmaster. Gravy gradually makes a smile that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. GRAVY Really? (To Mr Cane) And Mr Cane would make a good roustabout. Mr Cane looks to Ray unsure as to whether or not he’s being insulted. Ray eases him by nodding with approval. Gravy marches over to Ray. They go to shake hands but settle on a hug. RAY It’s what you’ve always wanted isn’t it?

GRAVY Yeah but...

123 104.

RAY Well go on then, this is your chance. I’ve got Debbie now, and you’ve got Mr Cane... To... Clean up elephant shit... Don’t forget me though, drop me a line from time to time. Ray and Gravy un-embrace. RAY (CONT) You’ve taught me to live life. Ray the metrosexual wanker is gone for good. Mr Cane approaches. RAY (CONT) And you Mr Cane, you’re not vermin at all. MR CANE Can I keep the fancy clothes bro? RAY They’re all yours, they look much better on you than they do me. Ray and Mr Cane hug. RAY (CONT) Look after Gravy for me tough guy. Gravy and Mr Cane leave the apartment. Ray turns to Debbie. RAY (CONT) You! You’re still here? DEBBIE What? Do you want me to go too? RAY No, of course not. I mean all the imaginary people have left and you’re still here. DEBBIE Ahh... Yeah... RAY Don’t you see? You’re probably real. DEBBIE What!? Probably!? I can assure you

124 105.

I’m the real deal! Well... Except for these... Debbie firmly grabs her silicone chest and gives it a quick jiggle. RAY Yeah but I wasn’t 100% sure. I mean I hoped you were real, but now I’m 99%... Debbie kisses Ray. DEBBIE Was that real enough for ya Ray? RAY Difficult to say... Ray smiles and Debbie jokingly pushes him away. Ray puts his arm around Debbie’s shoulder and pulls her in close as he stands and looks around his messed up apartment. He’s still smiling, his apartment might be in a mess but he got the girl. With this winning notion Ray, still holding Debbie, turns toward her and makes a slow but passionate advance. NEIGHBOUR O/S (Russian accent) Peter! Stop fucking your mother. CUT TO BLACK

THE END

125

126

REFLECTIVE ANALYSIS OF KEY POINTS IN THE CREATIVE PROCESS

THE COLLABORATION

I made the decision to collaborate with actor and comedian Darren Casey, coming onboard for the 2nd draft. Casey was bought onboard as a dialogue editor and to provide additional humour. I’d seen his performance in Roy Hollsdotter Live (2003) and was quite taken by his screen presence and sincerity as an actor. Subsequently I contacted Casey and cast him in Heartbreak Motel (2008), a short film that I wrote and directed. During this process he helped enormously in the dialogue editing and bringing his character to life through a process of workshopping. Casey, like many comics, has developed a very particular style of delivery and was able to rephrase jokes, effectively tailoring them for optimum delivery in his own style. We both felt the results were a success, so from here we decided that we should give further collaboration a go and I therefore pitched Casey my concept for Gravy.

I thought this project would be ideal for collaboration because Darren Casey was not only the actor whom I envision playing the lead role but his experience as a standup comic afford him a natural way with comedy that I had witnessed during our creative collaboration on Heartbreak Motel. The idea was that we could workshop the central character of Ray on paper, during the writing process, that we could hopefully develop a character with more depth. Such a process may even share similarities to the Mike Leigh method, something that’s fascinated me for quite some time – the major difference however is that I did begin with a script albeit a 1st draft. I also believe that workshopping and rehearsal time with actors is important – I thought that I could effectively gain extra workshopping time by doing it during the writing process.

At this point I should mention my long-term belief that no two people perceive the same experience in exactly the same way. I understand that this is due to the way in which people process information, filtering it through their respective individuality shaped by a lifetime of unique personal experiences and convictions. This particular belief was reinforced by my first major obstacle in working collaboratively – difference of vision. The problem initially manifested when I didn’t have a fully developed screenplay to show my collaborator. I didn’t have a novel from which I was adapting, I didn’t have photographs of the location, mood boards, story boards, etc. All I had was a basic treatment, one that I hoped to flesh out into a script as the characters and events were improvised. The problem was that my collaborative partner couldn’t see what I was seeing… and I needed him to.

127

After lengthy discussion with Casey, I decided it best that I write the first draft on my own. My first draft script wasn’t highly comprehensive and not really written to the criteria that warrants full status of first draft. In any other circumstance I wouldn’t hand over such an under-baked document for somebody else to read. However, I needed something that resembled a script to give Casey, so that he could read it and get a feel for what it was that I was proposing. My story was just too complex to verbally pitch every nuance and I wanted to get the workshopping phase underway before writing a fully fledged draft.

Gravy isn’t a boxing film for example – we all understand the basic premise of boxing films from Raging Bull to Rocky and beyond… If Gravy was a boxing film then I could have quite easily explained to Casey that it’s constructed around a series of fights that are rather literal metaphors for the protagonist’s inner fight. The problem with the first draft of Gravy was that I didn’t have any points of reference to show, it was all floating in my creative mind – I couldn’t say “it’s the same as…” or “it’s similar to…” and so on. Regardless, after handing Casey the draftish document and speaking to him about it, he understood the plot… but the subtext wasn’t clear. The very nature of subtext is that it isn’t literal within the script’s text – of course some of the subtext is relatively obvious but other elements are buried much deeper in interpretation. All this however was compounded by the fact that the script wasn’t very developed.

After a lot more tooing-and-froing, we eventually decided that I needed to write an accompanying document to the draftish document, an analysis, a breakdown of the subtext, use of symbols and purpose behind every important action and line of dialogue, the user’s guide. This document marked a notable turning point as it allowed the collaboration to move forward after an intense period of stagnation. Casey could now see what it was that I was trying to accomplish within the narrative.

Following the introduction of the user’s guide, the collaboration process was extremely smooth in that Casey felt free to deconstruct either single lines or entire exchanges of dialogue and play around with them, without any uncertainty that he was inadvertently compromising the integrity of my vision, without fear of altering the narrative, subtext or story design. In many ways you could say that I was the architect and Casey was working in collaboration as an interior designer. During this process, Casey also brought many valuable things of his own to the script such as refined humour, some great gags and mise en scene. Casey didn’t write or re-write the entire script; mainly we chose particular scenes for him to develop.

128

The scene where Ray telephones the escort agency is a good example of one of the scenes that Casey worked on the most – I’d explained to him what my original scene was supposed to accomplish and so he redrafted the dialogue in the conversation to flow much better and he provided some great laughs after we riffed it back and forth, both taking turns in role-playing the woman on the other end of the line until we thought we’d gotten it right.

Further complications arose shortly after half competing the second draft – complications in the form of difference of creative processes. My understanding of my own creative writing process is that I write the initial drafts to analyse, to learn what it is that I’m trying to communicate, to discover what it’s really about with a view to refine these elements in subsequent drafts. My understanding is that a script needs to go through a multitude of drafts until it’s the very best it can be. Whilst Casey also believes in the notion of redrafting, he was clearly frustrated that I was working on a script containing a story in lack of absolute clarity and that I wanted to completely re-write it. Even worse was that I might even choose to do this again and again.

It was at this juncture that Casey and myself both agreed that our creative processes were at very different places on the spectrum. Casey prefers more planning upfront whilst I prefer an organic approach. The result at this point was that our processes were no longer compatible, that Casey just couldn’t bear to be trapped in my work-mode while I dithered around still making decisions and changing my mind in an attempt to sculpt a story. We both agreed that the commitment required was not only too great but also unreasonable and that Casey would be used from this point on as a sounding board to thrash around ideas, to riff characters, but he would no longer be doing any typing, putting pen to paper so to speak.

Overall the collaborative process in the development of Gravy has undeniably bought depth to the project, the two lead characters of Ray and Gravy are both well developed with their own sense of being. As a creative experiment, the process has taught both Casey and myself a great deal about writing a feature collaboratively. Fortunately I was always prepared to finish the screenplay alone, knowing quite well that the collaboration was an unknown factor. I completed the second draft myself as well as a third but need to acknowledge that Casey provided excellent material that still exists throughout, mainly in the form of killer one-liners and generally solid humorous character riffing.

Should Gravy go into production with Darren Casey cast in the lead, then he may be bought back at a later stage to polish the shooting draft with the assurance that he’s no longer working on a transitory developmental stage.

129

It’s here that I must respect what Casey does enough to not exhaust his enthusiasm for the project by dragging him through the difficult stages of my personal writing journey.

THE SINGLE LOCATION

Possibly the largest of decisions, stylistic, aesthetic and logistic, is to contain the entire narrative within a single shooting location. In fact it’s the decision that spawned the research question “What issues are involved when writing a feature film screenplay set in a single interior shooting location?”

The notion of the single location suggests that the story takes place entirely in the same place. Whilst Gravy fits this definition in relation to conventions within the medium, it does bend the formal definition slightly. No, the reader never leaves Ray’s apartment but definition of his apartment includes all the locations within, such as the living room, entrance, kitchen, hallway, bedroom and bathroom. A purist may argue that the story takes place in 6 locations, however where do you draw the line? Even the confined space of an elevator could be broken down to six locations for cinematic reference - four corners, a floor and a ceiling. The fact is that Ray’s apartment is a single shooting location, in that the cast and crew won’t have to relocate to another location.

Das Boot (1981) is well known as a single location film, however the action not only takes place in the various compartments of the U-boat, it also leaves the boat, extending to the observation deck on the submarine exterior and beyond. The film begins and ends on German shore as well as taking shore leave in Italy mid-way. Phone Booth (2002), which utilises the single location of a phone booth as its prime marketing hook, isn’t confined to a phone booth at all. The protagonist does spend much of his time in the phone booth but the action often floods far beyond this cinematic constraint into the surrounding street and nearby city interiors. Six rooms within a single apartment should qualify Gravy as a single location film.

The aforementioned films are often also referred to as ‘confined space’ films. In a confined space film, you could say that the confined space is exploited in heightening a sense of anxiety or claustrophobia. Das Boot successfully exploits U-boat U-96’s physicality to give the audience the sensation of being trapped alongside the 42 crewmen on the ocean floor in a metal tube.

130

Similarly Hitchcock’s Rope (1948) utilises 2 adjoining rooms in a single apartment to play out the entire film with the confined space used to heightened effect by creating tension between the dead body in the chest and the guests who are being served dinner from off the top of the coffin of sorts. Buried (2010) is one of the most extreme claustrophobic films as the entire film is confined to the inside of a buried coffin.

The challenge is that Gravy isn’t set in an intentionally confined space per se, although there are moments, for example, where the character of Gravy is trapped by the looming bringer of doom that is Mr Cane. In Rope I feel that the apartment’s drabness draws the tension of the dead body in the chest, with the only outstanding visual ‘feature’ being the apartment’s impressive large window overlooking the city as it turns gradually from day to night. In an attempt to heighten the cinematic nature of the piece and alleviate a confined space feel, I’ve decided to ‘change’ the set gradually. When thinking about changing spaces, I’m reminded how John Carpenter physically changed the size of Jamie Lee Curtis’ acting stage in Halloween (1978). Controlling the subtle onset of audience claustrophobia, Carpenter gradually diminishes the size of the stage throughout the film until Curtis is trapped hiding in a very narrow wardrobe in the third act.

Once again, I’m not aiming for claustrophia, Ray is trapped mentally but not physically. Thinking about how I could increase the cinematic appeal of Gravy, I considered Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmonson’s Guest House Paradiso (1999). Unlike Carpenter’s dynamic framing, Mayall and Edmonson physically alter the visual properties of the film sets. The guesthouse gets progressively dilapidated throughout the film, in much the same way the hotel room in the movie version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) deteriorates far beyond conventional junkie swill. In Gravy I decided to not only have Ray’s apartment get steadily trashed but, at times, to physically morph as the Cane Toad poison takes effect.

The idea of morphing the apartment gave greater artistic liberation in scenes such as the largest of the dance scenes – how will all the party crashers fit into the living room for a large dance sequence? Simple, make the living room larger. When writing the climax I thought I’d like to do a clichéd yet iconic rooftop fight scene – police helicopter illuminating the action with its searchlight. With the freedom to morph Ray’s apartment, I was able to physically remove the ceiling and elongate the hallway leading to the bathroom where the villainous father stands – I was able to make this reference literal rather than metaphoric and effectively take the audience somewhere else for a cinematic finale fitting of the action scene at hand, ending in homage to Willem Dafoe’s iconic drop to the ground in Platoon (1986) as seen on the film poster.

131

The location morphs offer what I consider to be important visual breaks from the familiar, in much the same way that the rooftop hockey game in Kevin Smith’s Clerks (1994) takes a much-needed refresher from familiar confines, not only visually for the audience but also emotionally in regards to recharging the store clerks themselves.

When going back over the script and tightening the script, I decided that by defining the cinematic purpose of each of the rooms in the apartment that I could also give the various scenes variety in distinct feel and tone. Each of these individual rooms should be treated with a unique sense of lighting and production design that should hopefully bring cinematic variety to the film as well as provide appropriate changes in mood. From here I relocated many of the scenes to their appropriate room. There are four main areas with Ray’s apartment, each with a specific dramatic function:

Living Room: A very general-purpose room, one where people gather and feel comfortable.

Bedroom: A rather confrontational space with a confession booth quality to it. It’s here where Ray has his deeper one-on-one conversations with all the main characters throughout the story.

Kitchen: A dystopian space with fluorescent lighting and refrigerator hum. Like a holding cell this is where Ray unsuccessfully attempts to banish the embarrassing guests. It’s also the space where he seeks refuge that he never finds. Also where Ray first hallucinates the voice of his imaginary friend as well as where he first feels the effects of the Cane Toad toxin.

Bathroom: The bowels of Ray’s psyche. It’s where he goes to vomit, it’s where he manifests the evil Mr Cane for murderous deeds, and it’s where the climactic battle with his evil father takes place.

Like Rope, Gravy plays out in a single day and also takes advantage of the day to night lighting transition. Rope’s large detailed cyclorama of the New York City skyline visible through the large apartment window was a technical Tour de Force in 1948 and would still put a large dent in today’s film budgets. Whilst such a device would add cinematic charm to Gravy, its expense would no doubt defeat the purpose of the low-budget exercise. Instead I’m envisioning subtle day to night lighting changes that correlate with the mood of the narrative.

132

I re-structured the hallucination to begin at the onset of night as to take advantage of the lighting change, so that the film may also become visually weirder from this point. The change brings a different visual feel to all the apartment’s environments and toward the end of the story when things get really out of control there’s yet another visual change for the living room, bedroom, bathroom and hallway. Such changes effectively use the six areas of the apartment to provide sixteen different looks throughout the course of the film. My hope is that this is enough to bring substantial variety to the cinematic look of the film. This and a fast paced narrative should, I hope, alleviate any sense of stagnation that would otherwise be exacerbated by the use of a single location over all three acts.

THE READ-THROUGH

Following completion of the 2nd draft I had a number of questions about the script that I thought could be better answered with insight provided by a script read-through. I set up a video camera and invited Darren Casey and a handful of actors/friends to do the read- through of the script around a table. This part of the process proved to be extremely valuable in many ways…

Firstly the read-through was helpful in gaining a reasonable sense of the script’s duration. The 94-page script took 93 minutes to read – although screenwriters know that 1 page approximates to 1 minute of screen time, I was unsure as to whether or not my script would fit this formula as it’s predominantly dialogue driven (dialogue takes up more space than description). Suffice to say the resulting duration was pleasing. Secondly, I got to see how the script was working in both spatial and temporal terms. Meaning, how the flow of action worked physically between the various actors and over time. Watching the video back, I was able to better visualise the audience experience and follow the action visually. For example, I was able to see when a particular character got ‘lost’ for too long in the context of the group dynamic. I could also see that the climax in the final act didn’t involve some of the key characters as much as I thought it did on paper.

Basically the read-through was a key tool in assessing what I had written to date. It turned out to be the best way to observe the structure both tangibly and spatially.

The read-through also proved highly useful in testing my envisaged stylistic treatment of the script’s hook, testing the visual portrayal of an imaginary friend. I will always marvel over the manner in which James Stewart crafted the ambiguous existence of his imaginary friend in Harvey (1950).

133

Although Harvey is a 10-foot tall rabbit that the audience never sees, the fact that one couldn’t dismiss the real possibility of his impossible existence is testament to Stewart’s acting. Despite being quite taken by this approach, I chose the opposite angle for Gravy, the audience sees the imaginary friend as in Drop Dead Fred (1991). However I’ve decided to stay with the protagonist Ray’s point of view throughout the entire script. Although it’s envisioned to cinematically change point of view in terms of character empathy via camera placement, the imaginary friend will always be visible (and Ray is present in every single scene). Unlike Drop Dead Fred where some scenes are played out from other character’s points of view and we see the lead character talking to himself, Gravy will always be visible to both Ray and the audience. The read-through provided visual clarity on this decision to have Gravy physically in the room with a support cast that couldn’t see him.

Finally, the read-through also allowed me to experiment with what in many ways could have been the most radical change to the script. I decided to ask a 12-year-old girl to read for the part of Gravy the imaginary friend. The script originally specified Gravy to be a 50-year-old man but at the back of my mind I wondered how a radical change would shake things up. The 12-year-old did a great job of the read-through and riffed very well with Casey, to be honest I thought the change was positive in many ways; that the script became more challenging and substantially weirder. However after consultation with my supervisors I decided that it was far too great a conceptual leap in what was already a weird and edgy script. The change in casting also brought a lot of unnecessary sexual subtext to the piece that would potentially confuse the piece as a whole if I couldn’t write myself out of the deep hole that I was digging. Besides, casting a 12-year-old girl as a lead character in an adult oriented comedy would be a tough gig for a debut director.

The read-through proved to be a fantastic tool for testing and experimentation, I was able to physically see what worked and what didn’t without having to paw through a script trying to extrapolate hypothetically. I’d not only recommend the read-through to all other screenwriters but will also be making it a vital step in my future writing projects. There are many avenues for getting a professional read-through performed, they are often prizes in film festivals or cost lots of money but what I did should be within any writer’s resources. As a tool it provided me with pages of notes from which I could confidently attack writing the 3rd draft.

134

CONCLUSION

Working within the comedy genre gave me both freedom and license to be absurd, however I also found such a genre choice to be equally as demanding as liberating. Demanding in the sense that if jokes aren’t funny then they fail. There’s nothing to hide behind, no fence-sitting ‘dramedy’ genre label offering a safe-haven for failed jokes. Just like horror films that aren’t scary, unfunny comedies are sinful. My problem now is perspective. After writing and reading, reading and re-writing the same lines over and over, one can often no longer tell if the jokes are funny. In fact I may never know unless the film is completed and put in front of an audience – in my opinion William Goldman is correct and this is the only true test. Even then it may be difficult to gauge the prowess of the comedic writing as the jokes now rely on a multitude of other factors such as the actor(s), cinematography and editing to name but a few. Whilst many of the jokes in Gravy still make me laugh, everybody knows that laughing at your own jokes doesn’t guarantee that they’re funny.

The collaboration was of significant value in many ways, both to the script itself as well as a personal lesson in collaborative writing. Whilst initially envisioned to last the duration of the project, the collaboration ultimately only took effect in the intermediate developmental phase. This however was a vital time period affecting the quality of the script, particularly pertaining to central character development. The collaboration with the envisioned lead actor enabled me to complete subsequent drafts with a vivid mental portrait of the central character. Whilst it was initially disappointing that both myself and co-writer were unable to find individual vantage points and not tread on each other’s territory, I feel that it worked out well in the end. I was still able to take charge and complete a script enriched by the initial collaboration in such a way that working with the collaborator again as lead actor will bear positive fruit in the sense that the subsequent drafts were built on the foundations that he helped lay. Would I recommend writing collaboratively? I wouldn’t not recommend it. The process helped me gain experience and I would most likely do it again but in a limited capacity very similar to the actual outcome of this research rather than the initial envisioned outcome.

The practice-led mode of research has certainly provided me with a great deal of practical insight into the research question “What issues are involved when writing a feature film screenplay set in a single interior shooting location?” Whilst the single interior shooting location was a constraint put in place simply to make myself a low-cost risk as debut writer/director, a logistical constraint derived from an external context, I do feel that ironically it proved to be useful in providing creative focus.

135

It wasn’t specifically the single location concept that was useful, rather the formation of a solid framework within which to work. As I discovered, the single location model presented a number of problems that required practical and creative solutions. However it also defined a prime directive that proved to be useful in the decision-making process thus maintaining the focus required to move forward at all times. As a lecturer, I often see undergraduate students set various ‘free choice’ narrative assignments as part of their 3-year studies, I often witness the student’s drowning in the notion of free choice whereas a specific writing brief will often yield faster and more focused results. The American new-wave band Devo sums this up in their song Freedom of Choice (1980) when referring to dog that finds 2 bones, “He picked at one. He licked the other. He went in circles, till he dropped dead.” In other words, the single location constraint solved more problems than it created, and quite possibly prevented me from going in circles till I dropped dead.

Is Gravy the screenplay a success? A screenplay is a somewhat transitory phase of the overall filmmaking process and therefore at this stage, nobody knows. But so far so good, I wrote a screenplay set in a single interior shooting location and by my own personal standards the outcome doesn’t feel compromised to any great negative effect. Most importantly however is whether or not Gravy will make it through to the production phase, directed by yours truly.

136

APPENDIX A: INTERVIEWS

MARK SPRATT – FILM DISTRIBUTOR

The following interview was conducted in 2011 by Aaron McLoughlin with Mark Spratt, owner of independent distribution company Potential Films based in Melbourne Australia.

AM: First let me ask a broad question for context, what are the major trends currently driving the Australian cinema market and please elaborate on the factors driving this change?

MS: From my perspective as an independent distributor, I think the range of films being released in cinemas is narrowing all the time. We [Potential Films] have dealt a lot with foreign language films, much more than Australian films though we’ve done a few, and the market for a lot of foreign language films has been overtaken by festivals including the major festivals like the Melbourne festival, Sydney festival and all the national festivals that come along during the year. So it’s actually harder to get screen space and to get prolonged seasons of smaller films, which may be audience friendly but don’t have the major hooks that a real prize winning film might have. I think this trend also affects Australian films and certainly a lot of lower profile Australian films this year have come and gone very quickly.

AM: So what do think is driving this narrowing of film selection?

MS: Well you could sort of say it’s the market but the market responds to what it’s given and I think it’s the exhibitors, including the art-house chains, who are taking less risks on giving space to smaller or riskier films and indeed filling up a lot of their screens with more and more mainstream product. They call it ‘crossover films’ but some of it is blatantly commercial and if you’ve got a small film, whether it’s a small Australian film or a small Italian film, releasing it at the same time as films starring Meryl Streep or Brad Pitt in the same multiplex, you’re always going to be the lowest grossing film and that doesn’t help you stay on.

AM: In this current market then, how are Australian films performing compared to previous years and previous eras?

137

MS: It seems to go in cycles. This year we’ve had one massive success with Red Dog [2011], which is like a genuine all-demographics crowd-pleaser and it’s probably performed beyond anyone’s expectations although it always looked like it was going to be some sort of winner. But a lot of others, films which have been either not well received or fairly well received, have fallen away very quickly and not made very much. It’s just that on-going ‘Australian audiences don’t go out to the cinema to see Australian films’ sort of problem.

AM: So when you say it goes in cycles, what are the cycles you’re talking about?

MS: We seem to have a few good years when there’s been a few well-regarded films that seem to come along in the same year like, last year for instance it would be Animal Kingdom [2010] – and Bran Nue Dae [2009] was a success last year. There seemed about 3 or 4, which made quite a respectable amount of money – not blockbuster money but did really good. This year there’s been Snowtown [2011] and The Hunter [2011], which have both been well-reviewed and grossed more than a million. Eye of the Storm [2011], which you might have expected to do better, is still under 2 million at the box office, which is not great for a film of its cost and its profile.

AM: So where do you think we are in the cycle at the moment, have we just seen the peak?

MS: If the market’s telling us anything it’s that a film like Red Dog [2011] can still be as big a hit as some of those great successes of years passed like Muriel’s Wedding [1994] or [The Adventures of] Priscilla Queen of the Desert [1994], those films which really make a significant amount of money. But there’s still no interest at all in the smaller [films]… everybody complains about the grimmer type of stories that get told, and these films just don’t seem to compete in the public consciousness against even similar films from America or Britain.

AM: So do you see that situation changing in any way in the short to medium term?

MS: Not really. I think there’s been a bit of push toward making more genre films, films which are more appealing to a wider, more mainstream audience. A few of those have come and been quite respectable, like Red Hill [2010] this year, it’s quite a good film. They still don’t necessarily seem to excite the public, there’s some ‘factor’ missing, I don’t know whether it’s stars or something? I suppose last year also the big success was also Tomorrow When the War Began [2010], which again, people at the time were thinking ‘why don’t we make more films like this?’ It’s obviously based on a well-known

138

property and maybe too many Australian films are not based on source material that people know, like a book or a play or video game or whatever.

AM: When you are evaluating a local project for pre-sale, what key factors do you take into account when making that decision?

MS: You would look at the talent involved, established filmmakers, an interesting cast people would know. And then I guess it comes down really to a gut feeling on whether the story and whole property is going to be appealing to an audience.

AM: Talking about stars for example, how does the presence or absence of stars versus unknown cast, how does that impact your decision?

MS: To some extent it would, having some names is always helpful for marketing but if the film seems really strong, like if it is a genre film, a horror film or something which you thought was really strong and original and is going to, in its own right, attract attention then stars don’t necessarily matter for some films.

AM: So how important is the experience or track record of the director in your decision?

MS: Quite a lot. Obviously some first-time filmmakers have made some great films but I guess you feel safer if you know what they’ve done before or even if they’ve made short films or something and you’ve seen what they can do. I don’t think many distributors like me would go with completely unknowns. I should also say too, I’ve had quite a few screeners sent to me of people who have been making a first film, a very low budget credit card type movie, and really you wonder who they made this for? It’s obviously a project they’ve been passionate about and got a lot of other people involved in but just so lacking on so many levels that, to get an audience along, it’s a waste of time.

AM: Is the size of the budget of the film a key factor that impacts your decision?

MS: With us, we’re a small company, so we wouldn’t be putting up any big money for any large budget film, that’s better left to other people.

AM: Where does the low budget film, say a million dollar or less, with no stars and no known director - where would that fit into the mix?

MS: Depends on what your expectations are for the film. We’ve always primarily based our business on having a theatrical release but I think increasingly for low budget films that’s maybe not necessary. It’s an expensive exercise to go through and although it

139

does help to give your film a profile, which can then roll over onto DVD releases and other platforms, sometimes just festival exposure is all that some films need before going on to other areas. Or even that film The Tunnel [2011] which really premiered on the internet, video on demand, and then the ABC screened it and had it on ABC iView, a lot more people have probably seen that film than they would have had it travelled around and opened for seasons everywhere.

AM: So you’re suggesting these things are changing as we speak?

MS: I think they are, yes. I think there are other options. I’m not convinced yet that these ‘on demand’ and different sort of platforms are terribly profitable. I mean I don’t think they are at the moment – I think not many people use them in Australia at all, but I think it’s growing overseas and video on demand’s now an option which an audience looks to.

AM: Do you think that digital distribution and video on demand changes anything for Australian films and do you think it provides any hope for the no star, no name director’s first film?

MS: I think it probably will. If it does start to get a foothold and really just gets talked about in the right places so people know that well. Everything’s not on in your local multiplex but there’s still good stuff out there. Perhaps younger audiences are getting more used to accessing films and seeing them in different ways anyway, they’re not really looking in the newspaper every weekend to see what’s on at the local Palace or whatever.

AM: Is that something you’d be looking at in the future, digital distribution?

MS: I think we do, I think we have to move with the times and look at all sorts of options.

140

KRISTIAN CONNELLY – FILM EXHIBITOR

The following interview was conducted in 2011 by Aaron McLoughlin with Kristian Connelly, General Manager of Cinema Nova, Melbourne’s largest arthouse cinema complex located in Carlton Australia.

AM: Maybe you could start by telling me what your role is here at the Cinema Nova?

KC: My job title is General Manager and I effectively manage the cinema on behalf of the directors of the company who both maintain an active role in the running of it but are not based here full time. My role takes on a lot of different areas, obviously there’s lots of different parts to this cinema, one of the areas that I look very closely after is the marketing and promotion of films. Together with the directors we select the films that we play here at Cinema Nova – always with a view to present a variety of quality cinema and art-house cinema from across the globe for our audience. And also I’ve got, for instance, head of projection and operations manager and food and beverage manager who all report to me who look after respectively projection, front of house and our bar and our new food and beverage in-cinema dining experience that we call Nova Deluxe. So it’s a very broad job that’s what I think of as a big-picture job. It’s a job where I conceptualise new ways that we can improve what we offer people because we are in a unique position here, obviously we present people with different sorts of films which are unique in the Melbourne market and we’re renowned because of that, so we need to always maintain our presence by presenting new and exciting ideas to audiences.

AM: Asking a broad question for context, what are the major trends currently driving the Australian cinema market and please elaborate on the factors you think are driving this change?

KC: I think that the Australian market is very reactionary but not reactionary in the same way that the studios would be. For instance, let me provide you with an example of what I mean, you’ll have a movie like Paranormal Activity [2007] and the first one might open in the United States on a Friday, and Monday morning you’ll pick up a copy of Variety and you’ll in read in it that as a result of the extraordinary opening of Paranormal Activity that the new film by the director of Paranormal Activity has now been signed by Paramount Pictures and it’s a story about Area 51 or something like that. Now that’s a studio and when you think about that, you’ve got a movie that opens on a Friday, everybody has seen the figures probably first thing Saturday morning getting a sense of how big and popular that film might be, and so Saturday afternoon, Saturday night,

141

Sunday… agents, producers, all doing deals in order to write the press release which gets released to the trades and gets printed on Monday. So ultimately what you can find is if you have the popular disaster film coming out in the American market, 6-months later you’ll have the film that was given the green light as a result of the first disaster film. Australia’s a little bit similar to that but a lot more long term and a lot more bureaucratic, and by that I mean for instance, two good examples, recent examples, would include The Jammed [2007] a low budget Australian film made about sex trafficking. That film came to this cinema, played here before my time but was received very well by Melbourne critics, the film went on to become very successful at this location. It opened at other screens around the country, however it wasn’t particularly successful at those screens. However the sense was that that film The Jammed was a bigger success than it actually was, so as a result of that, what we’ve actually seen in the last five or six years that have gone past since that film was released is a slew of Australian sexual thrillers that tend to be based in the sex industry. So you kind of have a copycatting thing

AM: Such as X [2011]?

KC: Absolutely… there’s a tone of films that have been put across our desk in the last couple of years which are direct imitations and there are plenty of films that are on the horizon that have come and also gone that are direct imitations. Another example would be Samson and Delilah [2009], two or three years ago, that film was a very big success, here and nationally, and I think a lot of films dealing with difficult themes in the indigenous community have been green lit as a result of that, have been released to market but none have repeated the same success of Samson and Delilah. So what Hollywood does, I think, is Hollywood identifies where an audience is interested in a particular topic and a particular subject for instance and they’ll be able to react to that in a way that they’ve got something that appeals to that in a really short time. Australia does the same thing but unfortunately we tend to kind of focus on the films that aren’t big broad successes, we tend to focus on the films that are niche successes and then you have 5 to 10 copycat films that come out but they don’t come out 6 months later. They come out spread out over several years and so you kind of have this non-stop parade of ‘films’ and unfortunately just because Samson and Delilah was a success, the film that immediately came after that wasn’t a success and it’s too late because all the films that have been green lit off the back of Samson and Delilah are all still yet to come to market. And they do, and they flop, and that’s unfortunate. In the light of the success of Red Dog [2011], which has been a huge national success, probably one of the biggest successes in the industry in a very long time, the scary thing is are we now going to be inundated with a tonne of movies about animals? Red Dog was a wonderful film, you look at that film and you know why that film worked. Lightning only really strikes

142

once, or twice if you’re lucky, and I think unfortunately we tend not to let it strike once or twice, we tend to let it strike 10 times and by the third or the forth time no one’s interested anymore and so you wind up just flushing money down the toilet.

AM: In this current market, how do you think Australian films are performing compared to previous years and previous eras?

KC: I think 8 years ago the entire industry was really in a bad way, there hadn’t been a break-out success for a very very a long time and I think that audiences had come to mistrust Australian cinema. People were ignoring it, not wanting to go along and see a movie because they would probably get to some depressing drama, some kitchen sink kind of gritty thing that was tonally inconsistent, you know, with dialogue and characters that were incongruous to a broad audience. And then I suppose back in about 2003 there was a glimmer of hope in a couple of films that came out, I’m thinking back to the early part of last decade. Films like Sarah Watts’ Look Both Ways [2005] and Little Fish [2005] and Jindabyne [2006], little movies came along that were made for sophisticated audiences, that were approachable and dealt with themes that people could relate to. Over the space of about 7 or 8 years I suppose it’s just got to point where I think we are now, where we’ve had 2 films in 2 years that have both been break-out successes, last year’s being Tomorrow When the War Began [2010] and this year’s being Red Dog [2011]. Not every film was a hit but the thing is that there’s now an acceptance of Australian cinema by audiences again when previously there was none. Now people are actually going back to the cinema to see an Australian film and I think we’ve got to keep that momentum up by bringing them new and interesting ideas rather than just rehashing the past and I think that if we do that successfully then people will continue to respond positively to Australian cinema.

AM: That sort of answers my next question which was, do you see the situation changing in any way in the short to medium term?

KC: We could only hope that it’s going to continue to be as successful as it is but I as I say, if we do repeat the mistakes of the past the thing that’s important to remember that this cycle that I’m talking about here where a successful movie will create 5 or 6 imitators is not a new thing, it’s not something that’s from the last 10 years, it’s not a part of recent Australian cinema culture. If you think back to Pricilla [The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)] and Muriel’s Wedding [1994], 2 films, huge successes broke out, and obviously Strictly Ballroom [1992] preceding those 2 films as well… 3 films, all quasi-musicals, and then we were all inundated with these pretender quasi-musicals in the mid 90’s. The film that immediately comes to mind is Billy’s Holiday [1995] which was about, I can’t remember who that actor was, but an Australian

143

actor suddenly discovers he could sing like Billy Holiday and so we’ve got this candy coloured quasi-musical with all these Billy Holiday numbers. And then there was also Hotel de Love [1996], which was also very candy coloured, and camp, and had musical elements to it. And Cosi [1996] as well, the Mark Joffe thing, so unfortunately it’s something that’s occurred many times and I just hope that we recognise now, and by talking to people in the industry I think that there’s a glimmer of hope that people will actually continue in new areas rather then rehash the past.

AM: When you are evaluating a local project for acquisition, what key factors do you take into account when making that decision?

KC: We want to feel like there’s an audience for a film. There was an article in, I think it was in Inside Film recently which was talking about the release of X [2011]. Again another sexual thriller, the interview was with the distributor Potential Films, who we deal with on a regular basis, as well as the director and the producer of the picture, and what was interesting about the article, I thought the article was pretty reflective of what occurred with X and the struggle that the film makers had with trying to find people prepared to exhibit the film, which they found quite difficult. We ultimately elected to play the picture, however we didn’t play it with open arms. It was a movie that took a bit of conversation and consideration and because we like to balance our support of the local industry with presenting quality films. We kind of had to weigh up those things and eventually we decided to be supportive and we played the picture. But the interesting thing about this article by Sam Dallas was that at no point in the article did it really consider the idea that it’s actually not the responsibility of the exhibitor to play every single Australian film that ever gets made. If you go to American film markets or even if you pick the copy of Variety that covers the American Film Market, it’s a phone book! And it’s full of all these projects that will get made, will get funding, will be shot and edited and put out to market… no one will ever see them. And that happens to hundreds of American films, plenty of English films, German and French films etc. However we don’t wish that those movies come to the Australian market because ultimately, thankfully, the international ‘filter’ stops a lot of the crap from reaching the shores and unfortunately I don’t think the Australian industry considers that sometimes, and thinks “oh well, you know, OK John Smith has gone and made this movie…” but is that movie actually theatrical? It’s probably not, so it probably just needs to just… disappear.

AM: So you think we need to be exercising attrition?

KC: Maybe. But ultimately I always say that cinema is very democratic, I mean the audience decides whether or not something is or isn’t successful. A good example is Moneyball [2011] – a movie about baseball and figures and numbers and systems. This

144

is a movie that was given incredible reviews in the United States, it came to Australia and it was like yes it’s got Brad Pitt but is an Australian audience going to be interested in it? The film’s actually held really really well week-to-week because people are talking about it, people are enjoying it and experiencing it and talking about it. And so that film is holding on and we’ll have that film playing for another couple of weeks or months and so the audience ultimately decides once it hits the market. In our role here at Cinema Nova what we do is we ultimately try and present people with a great variety of interesting and diverse films that otherwise may not be seen. We opened 4 films yesterday, all of them are exclusive to this cinema and I would suggest to you that probably 2 to 3 of them are exclusive to this cinema in the country. So there’s nothing like what Nova is anywhere else in this country and that’s a shame but it’s also very exciting for me and the people that I work with because we’re bringing people new and interesting films. And that’s what I wanted as a cinema-goer before I was in this industry, I wanted to be presented with a great variety of cinema and when I kind of came of age there was that variety back in the early 90’s. That was that fantastic time where independent cinema was breaking out and becoming crossover and there was interesting and diverse things coming out of the American independent sector. It kind of lost a bit of steam towards the end of the 1990’s and so I have taken it upon myself, and ourselves, to try and bring some of that back because I think you need to try and fight generic exhibition. I look at what’s playing at the multiplexes these days and, you know it doesn’t matter how many, and now there’s complexes being built with 15, 20 screens and stuff like that but is there anything actually on that you want to see? And the answer is inevitably no and that’s kind of frightening.

AM: How does the presence or absence of any stars, versus unknown cast, impact your decision on what to exhibit here?

KC: It’s certainly a factor that we take into account but it wouldn’t be a deciding factor. For me, it’s about an interesting and original story, seeing something I’ve not seen before, thinking having my own thoughts challenged or my perceptions challenged or just being taken to different place or a new world. I like going for the ride and whether or not that ride involves Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling or any of those things is… you know, if it’s got a great performance in it then that’s a bonus but it’s certainly not the deciding factor.

AM: And the size of the budget of the film?

KC: Not really relevant to us to be honest. I was watching a film before I met with you that probably would have been made for, I would guess, a couple of hundred thousand dollars in the UK and I’ll definitely play that film here, and last night I watched a movie

145

that probably would’ve cost about 20 million dollars that was shot in India and we may play that film as well. And the one last night had a cavalcade of stars. So those 2 films will wind up on our screens but not because of the involvement of who’s in them but rather the film itself, the whole package.

AM: Does the same apply to who the director was?

KC: The director, I would probably suggest, is maybe more influential than the actors on some occasions for us. I believe in the importance of the auteur and the importance of a director who is renowned as being a great director… Paul Thomas Anderson, The Coens, Scorsese… and even some of the directors that are coming out of Asia now are really interesting and people that you want to watch. I tend to find that a director tends to be a better indicator of, sort of prognosticator, of how good a film may or may not be than the actor. So you might say “Oh that’s the new film of whomever” and we’ll focus on that because of the director and not who’s in it. Sometimes it turns out to be crap because it’s one of that director’s crap movies but Alexander Payne, a great example of a filmmaker who’s now 4 for 4 or Stephen Daldry, 4 for 4, 4 great films, classic films, modern classics. And so you can kind of count on those directors being reliable and knowing that they deliver to an audience.

AM: So If they were to release a new film tomorrow then you would probably give it a look in?

KC: Both those directors will release a film in the next 2 months and I’ve seen both of those films and both of those films we’ll play.

AM: Speaking about low budget films, at the 1 million dollar or less mark, with no stars and no known director, where do you think they fit into the mix?

KC: I think that they’re really, really important and I’ll tell you why… Before Let the Right One In [2008], who was Tomas Alfredson? Now he’s made Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy [2011], le Carre, novel, got 5 stars from David Stratton, you know. That was a movie that we played here, I believe we were the only cinema in the country who played it at the time, I know that off the back of the success that we had with Let the Right One In it went and played at other cinemas around the country so that was nice that we were able to usher in that film and that film was a big success here. In fact the irony is that the original Swedish version of it was a far greater hit, in fact probably quadruple the box office of what the American remake, which we also played, did here. But the thing is that the approach that I tend to take with, for instance, a director like that is that because we know that Let the Right One in was a success with our audience, I tend to like to treat

146

our audience with a measure of respect and sort of say “OK, I know that you’ll remember that that was a good movie”, so for instance, when I say that Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is coming soon, I’m going to make sure that I know you know it’s the director of Let the Right One In. So yeah, I think you need small lower budget films because if we don’t have those things come along that we’re not going to find new talent. As you said yourself before the interview began, people aren’t going to give you the opportunity to direct a 10 million dollar film but they might give you an opportunity to direct a 1 million dollar film, and that 1 million dollar film can lead to the 10 million dollar film. Again, Stephen Daldry started with Billy Elliot [2000] before he made The Hours [2002] and then The Reader [2008] and then Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close [2011] and the cast and the budget for each or those films has gone up and up and up and up and he’ll figure in the Oscar race. So you need those small films to be a proving ground for new talent and that new talent will either go on to make more quality cinema or they’ll go into the blockbuster arena as well. I don’t know if you’ve thought of this but I’ve been fascinated with the Marvel films, the superhero films, they’re not going to the Michael Bays and the Stephen Spielbergs to make those movies, they’re going to the Kenneth Branaghs and the…

AM: The Joss Whedons?

KC: …or the Joss Whedons! Or Patty Jenkins, I think, who directed Monster [2003] was initially going to direct Thor 2 and she’s just left the project, however the interesting thing is she’s not left the project to go and make some other movie about some other dour subject, she’s actually been taken off Thor 2 so that she can direct another Marvel property. They’re actually recognising, clearly recognising… I mean Sam Raimi, he was an unusual choice for the Spider-man films but each of those films made close to a billion dollars, so why wouldn’t you go and try that again?

AM: Ang Lee?

KC: Right, absolutely! Look, you would question the success of that [Hulk (2003)], it’s funny that one but Ang Lee was an interesting choice and even though the Hulk is not a classic in the same way that you would consider maybe Spider-man [2002] or even Iron Man [2008] or some of the other Marvel films that have come along that have been terrific and surprising and enjoyable, most likely because of the unusual choice of director in those cases. I think that if you still go back and look at the Hulk, the Hulk is actually really, really well made and very, very clever in its use of comic panels as edits and those sorts of things. So it’s not entirely successful because the casting was a bit funny in the lead and also I think that maybe there was a lack of a quality villain in the same way that a lot of these other films have, you know, a great villain for a hero to

147

stand up against. There’s a lot to admire about Ang Lee’s film despite the fact that it’s obviously become a bit of a butt of a joke, so to speak.

AM: Finally, do you think that digital distribution and video on demand changes anything for Australian films? Does it provide any hope for the no star, no name director’s first film?

KC: I think that digital projection certainly does. I don’t know that video on demand is going to provide any great opportunities. People cite to me all the time the American video on demand scenario and try and suggest to me and to other people in the industry that that’s a viable way to go in this country, where films go on video on demand maybe a month prior to theatrical release but that’s not something, as an exhibitor, we can really afford to let happen. And to be honest, it’s foolish of some filmmakers to think about the American market as being applicable to the Australian market because, what is it, something like 70 or 80% of American homes have cable television versus Australia where it’s a much lower percentage, I don’t know the exact figure but I would assume somewhere around 10 to 20%. So you don’t have that penetration, you can’t go and use that as a way to potentially spread word of mouth about your film. People come to me recently and say “We’ve got offers from this pay television network that’s interested in picking up my film and have been told that you guys will be amenable to a release, post or at the same time as it being on pay per view” but unfortunately this is a brick and mortar institution and, as we see in retail in news all the time, the internet is certainly not our friend when it comes to competition. We can use the internet to better promote ourselves but piracy and different incarnations of that being on-demand or iTunes or what-have-you aren’t necessarily going to be as helpful over here as over there and Australia has an excellent cinema going culture that is head and shoulders above most of the western world if not the rest of the world. We go to movies a lot more than the United States does, Australia invented the Gold Class concept and now it’s been rolled out to virtually every country that can sustain it in the world. And so I think that it would be careless of the industry to forget the benefit that exhibition brings to the table and to prioritise it out of the picture. Because I know from talking to distributors that, if we say, movie X - not X the movie but movie Y let’s say, movie Y is opening Thursday in Cinema Nova… We played the film, we promoted it successfully, it goes on to do a couple of tens of thousands dollars at the Nova box office. It might get a cursory release elsewhere in the country because there’s not the same cinemas such as Nova in other cities, and then you take that film to home entertainment be it either DVD or Blu-Ray or on-demand or iTunes or anything like that… I know from talking to exhibitors that the Melbourne market, as a result of our playing that picture, will be a lot stronger than all those other cities because people know about that film. And that film receives a boost of awareness, a boost of value, it obtains a legitimacy if you will because it got a theatrical

148

release and I think that if you take that out of the picture then what you’ve got is a bunch of films that are on DVD and, as we all know, DVD is certainly not going anywhere positive these days, frankly it’s in the toilet. I think that when you’ve got a scenario like that you need to say “OK well, isn’t it interesting that cinema is still going strong a 110 years later, yet all these things that are supposedly going to kill cinema have all gone the way of the dinosaur or have suffered a decline in sales.” Surely you should go and say that exhibition is the most important part of it. And I think back to what we were talking about earlier about studios, there is a real understanding and a real importance placed on exhibition by the studios in the United States and that’s why, obviously, they produce the most popular films in the world. Unfortunately I think there’s just a lack of awareness and a lack of understanding and a lack of appreciation of the importance of exhibition in the Australian film industry and I think that if more film makers took more interest and paid more attention to what exhibition is saying that we would actually have a more successful industry.

AM: You can’t ‘download’ stepping out for the cinema experience.

KC: No you can’t. Here we are. I remember it was 2006, I think, was the last time that everyone was telling everybody that cinema was dead, and that was after a really ordinary couple of film-going months. I remember at the time I was working for Village and we were looking at the planning and it was like oh my god there is literally nothing that anybody would want to see for the next 3, 4, 5 months and of course none of those films delivered. They all came and they went and they all under-performed and it was like “oh god it’s finally here.” 5 years later, we opened an additional 4 screens 18 months ago and business is good. Films are now being shot, you know Mission Impossible 4 [Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)] is having scenes shot in IMAX for the purpose of screening in IMAX cinemas. Village and Hoyts are building VMAX or enormous screened venues and complexes or retrofitting old halls with new digital projection, so clearly the industry is back on track and better than ever. We’ve just had the biggest film of all time come out the last 3 years [Avatar (2009)]. The thing is that people love to ring the death bell of exhibition and I’m sure will continue to do so in the future however exhibition continues to prove the naysayers wrong. All the threats have come and gone with surprisingly fast speed.

AM: Good! Let’s keep them away.

KC: Absolutely!

149

KRISTIJANA MARIC – FILM PRODUCER

The following interview was conducted in 2011 by Aaron McLoughlin with Kristijana Maric, independent film producer based on the Australian Gold Coast.

AM: First let me ask a broad question for context, what are the major trends currently driving the Australian cinema market and please elaborate on the factors driving this change?

KM: Of late I have noticed the Virtual Print Fee [VPF] model and the debate that’s been circulating around it because of the changeover to digital projection. There appears to be quite a few major distributors and key film related business that are doing their best to finance the installation of digital projectors in a variety of cinemas so that they can have more control over the distribution of films in those cinemas. Distribution and exhibition in this country appears to be like an oligopoly in Australia and that has been further reinforced by the VPF model. There’s only a few big key decision makers and they largely influence everything. So I don’t think it’s a very fair market and the result doesn’t provide for a very fair environment for a variety of independent films to compete in.

AM: In this current market then, how do you think Australian films are performing compared to previous years and previous eras?

KM: I don’t know, that’s a strange question. I think we’ve performed better in the past but I don’t necessarily think that majority of product was of quality or commercially viable. I think the cinematography and production values were generally great, but we weren’t in the market of making great epic films. Thanks to the 10BA-150% period there was a massive exploitation period that permitted for a lot of crap to be made. But out of that heap came out a lot of fantastic films. Now it’s very hard, I think that we do have many beautiful and wonderful looking films but I think we’ve been pushed toward creating content that’s meant to be deep and meaningful as apposed to being commercially viable. Though I do believe we are stepping toward creating more commercially viable content and the film bodies in general have taken greater measures in recent years to move in that direction.

AM: So do you see that situation changing in any way in the short to medium term?

150

KM: Oh yes, because I’ve noticed that with dealing with a lot of funding bodies at the moment, they’re more driven to supporting both – the concept of commercial viable product plus the concept of culturally significant product. I think in the past they developed a stigma towards the barrage of exploitation style films that came out in the 70’s and 80’s and therefore became exceptionally conservative after that period. Now I think they’ve snapped out of that conservative phase and are now starting to embrace broader film choices. I still think change is happening but it will take a while until we see some firm long term changes.

AM: When you are evaluating a local project for development, what key factors do you take into account when making that decision?

KM: First of all it depends who’s approaching me because you get all types of people that do approach you that want to make a film. It can be other producers, or a scriptwriter, or a director. They will come to you with a story. Obviously I look at a story first and evaluate as to whether it can be classified into a commercially viable genre and whether it has universal themes in it? For example, action’s a really good genre that translates across a lot of different territories – a punch is always a punch. Is the script of quality? Have they taken the time to actually improve upon it? Are they open to having their script or story improved upon due to the demands that other individuals or companies will require? Are they collaborative? Are they flexible, can they adapt? Can they offer to work as a collaborative artist because filmmaking is a collaborative process? If you want to be an artist, solo artists should go do painting. A lot of people might struggle being a collaborative individual in this environment. And also too, have you got any leverage attached to the project and has the project got a niche element to it that will make it stand out?

AM: So what do you mean by leverage?

KM: Has the project been written with consideration that it is of interest to profiled actors, companies, investors or persons to want to be part of that project?

AM: So does the presence or absence of stars, versus unknown cast, does that impact your decision?

KM: It depends. Each script can be tailored for a particular type of market success. Does the script reflect that? What you’re able to get? When people want an action blockbuster film a lot of the time the character is written with the intent of a star being in it. Whereas you’ll get some scripts where it’ll be action but it doesn’t actually require major stars to be in it because it’s very character driven. It’s much easier to sell a film if it

151

has stars because it’s leverage. I do believe you have to work harder to prove to somebody that a film is worth looking at despite that there are no stars in it. So it’s not impossible to sell a film without stars, but it can make it easier with stars. If the story and delivery of the story is spectacular buyers, distributors and consumers can get past the fact that there is no star on board.

AM: So you could go either way, depending on what’s in the script, you’re saying?

KM: Yeah, it depends. Each project is like a house, there’s so many different types of houses but they’re functional based on the needs or requirements of the individual or the environment or what they like. I think scripts are like that too, people think that script is whatever and it should be this brilliant thing and that’ll make money but it’s not just that, you have to understand how your script does get converted, how it gets optimised, what leverage or money will it take to be fully optimised.

AM: So what about the size of the budget, is that a key factor?

KM: Yeah, everything’s a key factor. You have to make within your means. Again, does the script or the story concept require a large budget or does it require a small budget? But you need to be clever, budget does matter because the bigger budget you have the more responsibility you’ve got managing that investment but also too, the less issues you probably have in terms of making sure that you get the quality of work that you need in a timely fashion. Whereas the less your budget is relative to what your needs are can make it exceptionally hard to get a quality end product. You can’t demand people to do things for you because you’re not paying the price that it will require to get what you need. Budget buys you a lot of freedom but you can always be clever. I think you can always try to think of ways to maximise your cash-flow and write a script that is adaptable relative to that.

AM: Earlier on you said that quite often directors approach you with projects, how important is the experience or track record of the particular director?

KM: It’s helpful but generally the most important thing is that someone seems to be (1) actively seeking experience (2) actively seeking to expand their knowledge (3) also understanding other people’s concerns and issues as well and try to overcome that because to be director is to be the creative leader in a project. They need to be a conduit and if they’re not being an appropriate conduit that’s not good. The more experienced they are, usually it implies that they know how to be that, or hopefully they’ve been successful at it.

152

AM: When looking at these projects then, where does the low budget film, possibly 1 million dollar or less, with no stars and no known director, where does that fit into the mix?

KM: Again going back to scripts, your script has to be written to accommodate for that. For instance, that’s the reason why the horror genre does so well in that area. A lot of directors get their debut from doing horror films. Horror films do great because production-value-wise you’re shooting something that’s entirely stylistically noir, with lots of shadows and usually done exterior/interior night. So you don’t have to have these opulent big backgrounds that cost a lot of money and require a lot of lighting. Also you’re trying to engage your audience more-so in what’s happening as opposed to who necessarily it’s happening to. So you’re constantly in this state of “is this person going to die?” as opposed to worrying about “who’s this star that’s going to die?” So I think you can pull off really great films in the 1 million dollar range but providing you work within your limitations and know what your limitations are and also that you maximise upon those limitations as a strength as opposed to a weakness.

AM: Finally, do you think that digital distribution and video on demand changes anything for Australian films? Does it provide any hope for the no star, no name director’s first film?

KM: Absolutely! I just watched The Tunnel [2011]. Even though that was a digital download, what they did was basically digitally push their film out there via Bit Torrent and they had millions of downloads and the whole thing at the end of the day is there’s a massive market that is online and uses the internet as a entertainment and communication tool. Using online initiatives is a cheaper and more connected way to actually put yourself out there. If you’re trying to distribute via DVD you have to get distributor that will try to push your product in 3000 outlets, whereas digital download you only need to be located in 1 place and all you need to do is actively market it cleverly to push it out there. I still think box office is really important. I still think having a cinema release is great. I think we should gear towards event releasing for theatrical for the indie scene working in similar capacity to music events where you aim to get a packed out cinema as opposed to trying to work on having it screen for a few weeks and really having a few people in the cinema for each session. And I think that’s important to help promote the digital download/VOD [Video on Demand], there’s a lot of potential there. I’ve found from dealing with distributors they’re really risk adverse in to sinking there focus in that area and funny about it because they know that is the way of the future but they’ve got a lot of their assets and resources tied up obviously in the way that it exists now which is DVD and retailers that sell their DVDs. So I think distributors at present have a problem in changing over too pushing digital download because it would

153

put pressure on the current supply chain relationships that exist right now in the market place. Which, yes it might be being phased out one day but it’s what makes their money now. So digital download is the future but we’re in a transitional period right now and that period is a great opportunity for the independent film makers to enter the market on these platforms and create some opportunities to brand themselves before the distributors completely start monopolising that area of distribution.

154

APPENDIX B: STORY PARADIGM DIAGRAMS

Fig 3. Graphical representation of Linda Seger’s 3-act story paradigm model as it appears in Making a Good Script Great (Seger, 2010).

Fig 4. Graphical representation of Syd Field’s 3-act story paradigm model as it appears in Screenplay (Field, 2005).

155

Fig 5. Graphical representation of Christopher Vogler’s 3-act story paradigm model as it appears in The Writer’s Journey (Vogler, 1998).

Fig 4. Graphical representation of Robert McKee’s 3-act story paradigm model as it appears in Story (McKee, 1998).

156

REFERENCES

ARISTOTLE & BUTCHER, S. H. (1936) The poetics of Aristotle, London, Macmillan. BATEMAN, P., KNAPMAN, C. & AUSTRALIAN FILM COMMISSION. (1996) Low means low : the collected papers from the Low Budget Feature Seminar, [Sydney?], Australian Film Commission. BLUETT, B. (2004) Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis Interview for Open Water. www.thecinemasource.com. BOXOFFICEMOJO.COM (2010) Box Office Mojo. IMDb. BRINDLEY, M. (1996) Writing the Low-budget Feature. IN KNAPMAN, P. B. A. C. (Ed. Low-budget Feature Seminar. Australia, Australian Film Commission. CALDWELL, J. T. (2008) Production culture : industrial reflexivity and critical practice in film and television, Durham, N.C., Duke University Press. CAMPBELL, J. (1949) The hero with a thousand faces. xxiii, 416 p. ,. CAVES, R. E. (2000) Creative industries : contracts between art and commerce, Cambridge, Mass., Harvard University Press. CONCANNON, P. (2010) Interview - J Blakeson. Phil on Film. DE VANY, A. S. (2004) Hollywood economics : how extreme uncertainty shapes the film industry, London ; New York, Routledge. DETHRIDGE, L. (2003) Writing your screenplay, Crows Nest, N.S.W., Allen & Unwin. DONAHUE, S. M. (1987) American film distribution : the changing marketplace, Ann Arbor, Mich., UMI Research Press. FIELD, S. (2005) Screenplay : the foundations of screenwriting, New York, N.Y., Delta Trade Paperbacks. GIBBONS, F. (2001) Maverick director departs from the script. guardian.co.uk. Guardian News and Media Limited. GOLDMAN, W. (1983) Adventures in the screen trade : a personal view of Hollywood and screenwriting. xiii, 418 p. HAUGE, M. (1991) Writing screenplays that sell, New York, NY, HarperPerennial. HAWKING, S. W. (1996) The illustrated a brief history of time, New York, Bantam Books. JOHNSTONE, S. (2008) The Mike Leigh Method. telegraph.co.uk. Telegraph Media Group Ltd. KAUFMAN, L., GUNN, J. & CORMAN, R. (1998) All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger, New York, The Berkley Publishing Group. KAUFMAN, L., HAAGA, T. & JAHNKE, A. (2003) Make your own damn movie! : secrets of a renegade director, New York, St. Martin's Griffin. KREIDL, J. F. (1980) Jean-Luc Godard, Boston, Twayne Publishers.

157

LITMAN, B. R. (1983) Predicting Success of Theatrical Movies: An Empirical Study. Journal of Popular Culture Vol.16 (Spring), pp 159-175. MARICH, R. (2005) Marketing to moviegoers : a handbook of strategies used by major studios and independents, Burlington, MA, Elsevier Focal Press. MCGUCKEN, D. E. (2004) Arts Entrepreneurship & Technology 101. MCKEE, R. (1998) Story : substance, structure, style and the principles of screenwriting, London, Methuen. MPAA (2010) Theatrical Market Statistics 2009. Motion Picture Association of America. PAPAMICHAEL, S. (2008) Oliver Blackburn on Donkey Punch. Film Network. BBC. PILKINGTON, E. (2009) Hollywood film output likely to fall by a third. The Guardian. London, Guardian News and Media Limited. PRINCETON (2006) Princeton University Press. 29/10/2006 ed., http://press.princeton.edu/. QUT (2010) Practice-Led Research. http://www.creativeindustries.qut.edu.au. RABIN, N. (2007) My Year Of Flops Case File #61 Freddy Got Fingered. avclub.com. SEGER, L. (2010) Making a good script great, Beverly Hills, CA, Silman-James Press. SHERRY, J. (2008a) Field Trip. UK Writer. The Writers' Guild of Great Britain. SHERRY, J. (2008b) The Screenwriters' guru guide. UK Writer. The Writers' Guild of Great Britain. SIMENS, D. (2008) Dov S-S Simens' Film Blog: Chapter #42: Filmmaking A-Z (7/15/08). SIMPSON HUBERMAN, M. (2007) Director Darren Ashton’s dazzling new feature. Australian Film Commission. SINGLETON, R. S. (1991) Film scheduling, or, How long will it take to shoot your movie?, Los Angeles, CA, Lone Eagle Pub. TOBIAS, R. B. & HEFFRON, J. (1995) Twenty master plots and how to build them, London, Piatkus. TRUBY, J. (2007) The anatomy of story : 22 steps to becoming a master storyteller, New York, Faber and Faber. TRUBY, J. (2010) Why 3-Act Will Kill Your Writing. Truby's Writers Studio www.truby.com. VOGLER, C. (1998) The writer's journey : mythic structure for storytellers and screenwriters, London, Pan. WASKO, J. (2003) How Hollywood works, London ; Thousand Oaks, Calif., SAGE.

158