'\ ' \ THE MICHIGAN REVIEW '.. .. Volume 18, Number 6 The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan Nov. 3 -17 1999 it Daily Rejects Ad from Conservative Author 'May offend some students,' says Daily
BY MATTHEW S. ScHWARTZ the Daily had decided not to run the ad, sion making process," he said. as it "may offend some students here" _. A "Refusal" clause in the Daily's rate N THE MIDDLE OF OCTOBER, specifically, any white students at the Uni, card giv~s them the right to reject any ad
Benjamin Kepple, a staff writer for versity. He went on to tell Kepple that he they choose, without explanation, "Nor II \ \ I I.i II II II () \I I I /. I the Center for the Study of Popular felt the ad was "promoting a conflict within mally we wouldn't formally comment back" Culture, sent an advertisement to the races [in] the paper." , LO rhe perwn whose ad they rejected, said Michigan Daily's business department. The (Note: Kepple is an editor emeritus of Thomford, ad showcased columnist and former the Michigan Review.) Yer in rhis case they did, and Kepple's Reagan adviser David Horowitz's just The advertisement itself cOl!tained a respUIJse was one of disbeliei, then dis released book, "Hating Whitey, and Other favorable commentary on the author, and may. "How any reasonable person could Progressive Causes," an examination of an endorsement of the book from the deem thar offensive is beyond me," he race relations in America. As the title im prominent black conservative Thoma, saiJ plies, the book focuses on the ideological Sowell: "This is a raw and cOllfageous Kepple believes the advertisement was hatred of whites, which Mr. Horowitz book that turns over some rocks and not offensive "in any way, shape, or form. considers prevalent in today's society. shows what is crawling underneath." he ... I can only think they decided not to On October 1B, Kepple - who .said. run the ad because ir presented vie'\'''points works for Horowirz - received a puz Daily Business Manager Mark that the leadership didn't agree with," he zling phone call from Steve Jones, display Thomford was not at liberty to discuss charged. advertising manager at the Daily. Kepple the specifics behind the rejection. "We See DAILY, Page 8 states that Jones called to inform him that don't share that information on the deci- DPS: Crime on the Decline, BPC Btldget Funds No "Hate Crimes" Reported Leftist Groups
BY ScOTT BEHNAN have skyrocketed a staggering 107 percent BY JACOB EM. OSUCK the BPC's final funding recommendations, on the U-M campus. allocating $96,250 to hundreds of student RECENTLY PUBLISHED In evaluating the decline in campus s ANY STUDENT PASSING organizations. What follows is a brief campus safety handbook crime, Police Captain Terry Seames told through the Diag knows, U-M analysis of where this sum was delegated. A. submitted by the Department the Review, "Perhaps the current economy A student groups have a wide va Since MSA breaks BPC spending down of Public Safety (DPS) indicates that the has a lot to do with it. The community riety of goals, ranging from promoting arts only by specific groups, and not general number of crimes on campus has steadily policing efforts may also have an impact, to overthrowing the capi categories (i.e. political, religious, com declined in the past few years. Specifically, and perhaps some of the prevention talist system. Unbe munity service erc.), such a focus can be statistics for personal crimes, which programs in place are reducing the knownst to many stu ~ tricky. Nevertheless, I have arrempted such include mostly larceny, burglary, and attractiveness of the campus to those dents, most of these ~ a study below, classifying each student or aggravated assault have declined as follows: inclined to commit crimes." groups receive funding through manda ganization based on the group's purpose. 2206 reported in 1995, to 2033 in 1996, Captain Seames further added, tory student fees imposed by the registrar While placement of the groups was sub 1599 in 1997, and 1544 in 199B. "Larcenies and thefts are still our most ~cmesterly on each student. The Univer jective to some extent, the analysis gener However, despite this plunge in frequently reported crime, and personal sir)' then directs the fees to the Michigan ally reflecrs precisely how MSA spends stu personal crimes, the number of liquor law efforts to harden targets by potential Srudent Assembly (MSA), whose Budget dents' money. violations steadily increased over the same victims may be contributing to the and Priorities Committee (BPC) makes According to BPC Chair Glen Roe, time frame: 1BO reported in 1995, 271 reduction. " recommendations on which student or the Bre makes recommendations based in 1196,330 in 1997, and 373 in 1998. g:miz From Review Campus '1 News Living 4 Suite One 6 Columnists 9 Affairs 1 & Views 15 Culture The Apocalypse is near: we Publisher Jake exposes the Steve Forbes lays out his battle Disgruntled engineering stu Another insightful series of agree with Jessica Curtin! campus groups that disguise plan in the upcoming Repub dent blasts LSA; Ethnic stu wine reviews, and tasty taco Plus, a commentary on those their Marxist agendas by pur lican Primaries; Big Jim de dent groups called into treats! "Freshmen Girls" shirts. suing mdividual "rights." fends ROTC and Veterans. question . .. ;"-" ::; ':':-:~:'. /(.~:it·).~.:: ~("";'~ .;,.;".... ' <:~<.;:.:.;:-i~. .,:. ------D SERPENT'S TOOTH Till 'II( III c; \ '\ I{ I' \ II \\ Ways David Horowitz Can Get the Daily Notes and MIM Theory. For once, we The Campus Affairs Journal of the [0 run an ad Eor his book, Hating Whitey: here at Serpent's Tooth agree with rhe niversity of Michigan Maoist International Movement. In fact. "I am in command nowl" 5. Change title from Hating Whitey to not only do we believe prisons should allow Hating European-Americans prisoners access to this literature, we think .(Seriously!) Matthew S. Schwartz 4. Change tirle from Hating Whitey to MIM lessons should be mandatory. After Hence, the Serpen ts Tooth has Editor-ill-Chief Hating the Man and all his Crackers all, forcing convicted rapists, robbers and formed a bi-partisian steering commirree Jacob F.M. Oslick 3. Offer that if you "Buy 1, Get 4 free" murderers to listen to MIM Theory for 8 to advise SOLE for its "incompitence" Publisher, Managing Editor 2. Add a new chapter denying the or 10 hours a day, everyday for years (yes, we mispelled that on purpose). The Holocaust would be a most appropriate punishment following report w~ drawn up: R. Colin Painter 1. Change the by-line to read "by Rodney for their misdeeds. Of course, the U.S. Mooagillg Editor King." Supreme Court would probably rule such Three Golden Rules of JamesYeh a policy "cruel and unusual" punishment. Sweatshop Activism: NationalAffairs Editor 1. Bring a compass and map. Recently, a Review staffer came across an 1. If you're going to protest someone, DavidGuipe interesting on-line auction. It seems one As of the beginning of November, ir will call to make sure rhey're in their office Features Editor bright entrepeneur is offering for sale the be the 274th consecutive day that the U.S. firsL Leaving a note on the door makes eggs of eight fashion models to prospective has been' bombing Baghdad ber-wee"! ,he vou look like "uch amateurs! ARTS EDITOR: William Wetmore parents obsessed with having a beautiful hours of 4-6 a.m. The consensus: nobody j. It take~ hrains to make an argument, ASST. EDITORS: Scott Behnan* child. The male editors of the Review still cares. so if you lack them, go to plan B: Justin Wilson** ILLUSTRA TORS: Astrid PbiJlips wholeheartedJy support [his endevor. but violence, chaos, and destruction Rachel Asquith our Luddite tendencies demand that, if ONLINE EDITOR: Rabeb Soofi** ONLINE STAFF; Michael Rosen we win our bid, we get the right to fertilize For the past few months, the politic.aUv CORRESPONDENT: JuDe Jeschke the eggs the natural way. wise and ideologically sound Clinton Buchanan said he hopes to put (LONDON) administration has been repeatedly making together " 3 new coalition of those left STAFF WRITERS: Hal Borkow, Mark CaJaguas, In honor of Halloween, we've concessions to Iran, offering to rebuild' our, left l.)('hind."~ GNN Brian Cook, 0Iip Englander, Matt FI'IUIIClak. DImieI noticed that Mumia Abu a relationship apparently Quire appropriate terminology. Keebler, Erlene Kuizon, Ryan McCIar:ren, Anne Jamal is once again aggravated by Iran's Aicer all, Pitchfork Pat has "left" the Nagrant, Curt Robertson, Dave Sackett, Ann Yeager masquerading as an sponsorship of Republidln Party, "left" conservatism, A~~I. ADVISER: C.J. Camacchio innocent man. Of course; worldwid<, Terrorism. and is generally "left" oU'economic pOlicy. ED~O~ DJE\RITI: Lee Bockbom Officer Daniel Faulkner When asked how he Benjamin Kepple continues to dress. up as a felt ahout Iran's corpse. We here at reluctance to cooperate. Just last week, U-M students were given The Michigall Review is the in~pendent, student-run jour nal of conservative and libenarian opinion at !be University Serpent's Tooth would Clinton said, "I hope those the opportunity to meet GOr of Michigan. We neither soUcit nor accept monetary dODa like to recommend a new crazy Iranians quit calling us the presidential-wannabe Steve "The Dude" tions from the. U..,/vl. ComributioDs to the Michigan Review are tall-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of !be Internal outfit for Mumia, to be Grear Satan, because Hillary Forbes at the Union. Unfortunately, due Revenue Cnde. The Review is nO! affiliated with any political worn next October 31. /t needs campaign conrributions (0 tight security, not everyone was able party or university political group. from some hostile rogue nation that to speak to Mr. Forbes. To get back at Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial plots our demise and frankly, · I've the annoying securiry guards, Serpent's board, Ergo, they are unequivocally correct and just. Signed articles. letters. and cartoons represent the opinions of the Lasf week Jerry Fal lwei I met with a kicked the Chinese ambassador's Tooth plans on doing the following the author and not necessarily those of the Review. The Serpent's wife our of my bed." next time a famous person comes to Tooth shall represent the opinion of individual anonymous group of gay ministers under the contributors to the Review, and should not necessarily be pretexr of opening a dialogue with the town. taken as representative of the Review's editorial stance, The 1. Pat the famous person on the opinions presented in this publication are not necessarily homosexual community. We suspect his those of the advenisers or of the University of Michigan, We real motivation might be revealed by the Serpent's Tooth recently learned of SOLE's stomach and say "Boy, you sure are a lot welcome letters. anicles, and comments about the journal. failed attempt to protest againST the farrer in real life~r- name of the location where they met: 'Scott Behnan served as acting editor·in-chief this issue. Lynchburg. University Advisory Commirree on Labor 2. Dress in 'navy pin-strip suit and **R, Soofi and J. Wilson served as acting managing editors and Human Rights. The morons couldn't sunglasses,. then get in Limo with the this issue. find the right door! And that's not the half famous person. Please address all, advertising. subscription inquiries, and issue payments to Publisher clo the Michigan R,'vielV. Recently MIM Notes ,asked its readers to of it: Once they did find the right door, 3. Shout, "He's got a gun!" Then send leHers fO prisons, demanding that the guy they were aiming to protest w;lsn'l stand back and iet the fun begin. Editorial and Business Offices: The Michigan Reoie., even there - they had to leave d nord wardens stop denying prisoners MIM 911 N. University Avenue, Sulle One Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 lerters@michixanrevi(..I)i'.('om httl' :/~1t ' w . michiganrt:'view. com DBUY . HAT.INGWHI~BYAND · H~J.,p ';!~!t; ~E TeL (734) 647-8438 • Fax (734) 936-2505 Copyrilht 0 1999 The MldJIgan Review, IDC. AU "",1S .-ned. Tired of readingthe same old LefOst a drivel? Wartti~',[s~pPon Love us or hate us, good cause? Then come tci ttIeFishbowl .onN o~~~~~r 8-9, write us. where the Michigan Riviewwill·~ , ~ing D,~yi4 ,}fiolHWttZ's new E-mail [email protected] book,Hatjng Whi~. Buy: itat'theFishbowU .~e1; not only will with subject. "Letter to the Editor" .You :getjt.a,ttltebargain pd~()f $15, but all th~ p~~fits will go to Or send mail to: The Michigan Review · . theMichigan ; Mi#u,!So~:come on down, and help suppon your 911 N. University Ave. : :~: .favoritecOllseriiativei cause. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 ". ';:. <~ ~~' ~~~~'.~: ::"':" ":J;.. ' :: ~~~ ~~ "J ~ .. . ~ , .., \ , , , {" "" . t I l ~ ' \ 1- to '! . ".f l .". I . . ~ ~;-. 't . , ~ • ----.~ -, " \ Trouble Over "Trubell" T IS QUITE OBVIOUS YOU observe one day in a life of a rower and missed the point of my letter. Using Old Tiger Stadium U-M Should Offer a tell me they didn't deserve that money. I something termed "scarcasm," I Will Not Fit In a "Broad Spectrum of Maybe we don't bring in as much money imended to poke fun at you, the "sic" as football and other big sports but, don't happy people at the Review, for writing Museum Athletic Programs" say rowers don't deserve money if you have "Michigan and Trubell" in your "End of never been in our seat. an Era" article. The correct spelling of the s A FRESHMAN HERE AT HILE I HAVE NEVER - The Upset Spart.an street that borders Michigan Avenue the U of M, I must admit that I been a big fan of quotas, Mr. where Tiger Stadium is located is A have really enjoyed reading the W Behnan's assertion that "Trumbull." You wrote Trubell. I thought first five issues of the Michigan RetJiew this women's athletics should pay its own way Behnan Ignores you should know that you made a silly, year. Your articles tend to be interesting, seems to lack an understanding of the thoughtless mistake - and I tried to let thought-provoking and significant. I was purpose behind offering a broad spectrum "True Value of you know by writing the· lerrer below. especially glad to see Ryan G. McClarren's of athletic programs. From a financial Sports" Instead of uttering a simple "touche," you article on Tiger Stadium in lhe fourth iss ue standpolf!t the athletic department is not tried to manipulate my letter imo some of the year. Perhaps I should clari(v, I was un!ike the univer ~ it y in general. This OUR ARTICLE FAILED TO kind of praise for the un-proofread piece glad umil I actually read the article. I find university olfers undergraduate degrees in mention that many tax dollars found in your paper. You also fixed some it rather odd that McClarren has the abil ity a multiluoe of areas , many of which I are paid by men for running of my mistakes (like Willie May), bur not to "smell the peanuts roasting" at a ballpark would g:uus, are not fi nancially self Y institutions such as Michigan. Those others (Davy Cruise? Ted William? that sells pre-packaged nuts and the fa,:t sust:tining. Yet the university offers these same men have daughters they would like Perhaps Deivi Cruz and Ted Williams are that one-half of the most famolls programs because they reflect the to see benefit [rom their tax dollars. This real baseball players). If anyone actually philosophy of a strong, broad based, liberal article was not a fair portrayal of women read your paper, I would be afraid of arts education. If we were to ~ut every in varsity sports. If the intent of sports is looking like a moron based on the I find it rather odd that proglam at this university which was not to earn money for schools, then there unprofessional way you presented my you have the ability to able to independently maintain its budget would be very little sports programs for original . letter. Try not to be so without the support of the gened fund, I "smell the peanuts girls or boys, women or men , from grade unprofessional; it makes yciu just look doubt that this university would have much school through college. The article failed dumb. roasting" at a ballpark that beyond a research/grant oriented . to acknowledge that the true value of jimmy Boynton sells pre-packaged nuts. curriculum in the sciences, technology, and sports, team building, handling adversity, O-MAlumnus business. learning how to lose-yet be a winner in I am in agreement that the selection how one deals with losing·is worth much When the previous ktter clZme in over e intersection in baseball, Trumbull (of of certain sports may be "politically" biased more during one's lifetime that making a mail, the Editor broke all precetimce, and Michigan and Trumbull), somehow slipped in response to fulfilling the quotas profit for someone else. decided to fire a quick e-mail back: by your editors as "Trubell." As irritating established by Title IX and the subsequent -Anonymous as those errors were to a fan of Detroit interpretations by the Office of Civil Big Jim: baseball, the follow-up letter to the editor ,Rights. It is frustrating to see that If the point of your letter was to on the story was even more embarrassing. scholarships can be more easily obtained criticize the alleged spelling mistakes in While the staff of the Review cannot be in certain sports. I tend to see that as Review Staffers are our original article, then that point was faulted for the writing of the letter that comparing admission standards for "Little Boys" Who clearly lost on every staff member here. appeared in your Oct. 20, 1999 issue, the engineering and LSA, i.e. if you want to Frankly, we just thought you were an idiot. fact that this letter slipped through the be an engineer at Michigan, you have to "Fake Intelligence" You're lucky we didn't put "An Idiot Writes cracks of your editors is pathetic. The score higher to get in . Us" in our pages. author, Jimmy Boynton, also spells The fact that the athietic department LTHOUGH YOU ARE -The Editor Trumbull incorrectly ("Trumbell") and he has chosen to mirror the university in to be congratulated for taking seems to think the Tigers have players offering sport opportunities in areas that A on the liberal establishment at Big Jim happened to be online at the time, named "Damion Easiy" and "Davy are · not self-sustaining (for both men and Michigan, you would better serve and quickly responded to the Editor: Cruise" when in actuality their names are women) demonstrates the compatibility of conservatism's cause by refraining from Damion Easley and Deivi Cruz. Boynton this department with the general juvenile trinkets such as the parody HANKS FOR THE then concludes by saying, "That stadium philosophy of the university. If the offered on China (The People's Review, heads-up on the idiot thing. I just belongs in the University of Michigan un iversi ty were to adopt a strict self Oct. 6, 1999). To those of us who have T wanted you to know that it's Museum of Art." Just a thought, but sustaining mandate for every program, I been to the front lines in Washington it is "Trumbull" and not "Trubell." As for the assuming it was common practice to put think this wOllld be a pretty boring disturbing to see that the conservative point being lost, it makes sense that it entire baseball stadiums into art museums institution (and I wouldn't have a job here). leaders at elitist Michigan are mere el itists was. If you can't spell Trumbull correcdy, when they are closed down, I have a feel in g lim Richardson themselves. An unfortunate tendency of chances are you won't be too familiar with that Tiger Stadium would end up a .. tb e: Hr-ad Coach, Womens Swimming young claimants (Q the cause is to fak e the game of Baseball in the first place. Detroit Institute of Art before it was intelligence and sophistication through . The Jimanator moved to Ann Arbor ~ that's just a hunch sarcasm and satire. If it makes you sleep U-MAiumnus though. The moral of the story, do so me Behnan's Article better at night showing that you have a research and read your letters to the editor basic knowledge of Chinese history, so Editor's final respome: before you throw them in your newspaper. "Repulsive" be it. But in the end, nobody will pay Owen Rosen attention to little boys trying to The Jimanator, U-M Freshman 'M A MSU STUDENT AND A demonstrate that they've read a couple You are indeed perceptive. Not only member of the MSU Women's Crew books. am I not too familiar with the "game" of The Editor responds: I team. Even though I don't like Maze Keep the childish arrogance to Baseball, I hate it as well. In fact, I loathe and Blue, I found your article repulsive. I yourselves - just give us the facts. If you it. Aren't "games" supposed to be fun? It's Touche. can't believe you even wrote that Crew and need this forum to make up for neglect boring, and it pre-empts The Sjmpsom. -The Editor Field Hockey got millions of dollars they when you were a child, step aside and let -The Editor didn't even deserve. How do you know they somebody else lead. didn't deserve it? I would love for you to -Tad DeHaven o FROM SUITE ONE ~~~~ItJ(..·If,NJ" . CIl{;l).1tJO!i.CO\o\ ~ CovttHyatltw US81C EducatioNl FClUf'ldahOf'l (800)761·22fi7. ~ ...... OUR CH'L~ NEED FOR STAR'I1:RS, MSA's Flyer-Ban I'LL A$S6UtI A MUCH l.E$$ VIOLENT Violates Rights AMERICA!. .. ~! T IS A RARE DAY INDEED WHEN WE FIND OURSELVES IN agreement with Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) Rackham Rep. Jessica Curtin. I Nevertheless, this happens to be the case with regard to the Assembly's recent decision to ban MSA campaign postering at Angell Hall. Not only do we consider MSA's stated reasons frivolous (that the postering is ineffective and environmentally harmful), we oddly concur with Ms. Curtin's assertion that the measure constitutes a significant affront to free speech. We might also add, the decision seems suspiciously designed to benefit the established parties, at the expense of independent candidates and upstart parties. Perhaps the most nonsensical reason the resolution supporters offered up was the rather silly claim that Angell postering was "ineffective.." Were postering genuinely ineffective, we hardly think candidates would routinely wake' up at 4 a.m. and spend countless hourspostering during the week before the election. MSA candidates, like all of us, enjoy sleep and possess no particular love for wasting time with "ineffective" Feminists Spout over "Fat" Shirt campaigning. In fact, the energy expended in Angell postering clearly demonstrates the high value MSA candidates place on hitting Angell, and its worth in publicizing cam RESHMEN GIRLS - GET 'EM portraying the obvious shortcomings of paigns. Such importance was shown during last winter's election cycle, when the Student's while they're skinny." This men, such as in the situation comedy, F expression has triggered "Men Behaving Badly." Not surprisingly, widespread controversy throughout rather than holler and scream about Were Angell postering genuinely ineffective, campus. In particular, our lovable gendered oppression, most male we hardly think candidates would routinely women's groups have viewers laughed along with screamed in outrage and its intended female wake up at 4 a.m. and spend countless "'ours led protests against this audience. What about The postering during the week before the election. garment. . Simpsons? Homer But the question is: Simpson - "Doh!" --:- is Why? Db we really . neeQ , t'he ; most ster~otfplcal Party unilaterally abandoned Angell postering and called on its Blue Party rivals to to organize a protest male ' character ever put follow their lead. The Blue Party wisely ignored the maneuver, and went on to achieve against an article on screen. Yet this show a landslide victory. . of clothing continues to be a Indeed, we feel that it is precisely because of Angell Hall importance that MSA that hardly,.... favorite of television decided to the action. Currently controlled by the well-commented Blue and Student's any' viewers throughout the parties, MSA's Jeadership knows that its favored candidates will have no trouble attract students country. Sadly, when a ing publicity. From loving Daily stories, to allies in powerful student groups, to candi wear around glob of print slightly dates fielded from a Greek system whose houses tend to vote in a monolithic block, campus? If offends a select and small such candidates should have little difficulty attracting name recognition, publi~ support anything, the group ofwomen, the whole and votes. shirt only community throws a hissy However, this is not the case for rabble-rousing upstarts. Often hastily organized, makes light of a fit. This T-shirt like last year's quasi-Libertarian New Frontier Part, these organizations campaign with natura controversy ranks up out any of the incumbents benefits. To win, they must go the extra mile, and do every phenomenon for there with the other thing possible to get their name and message out. Angell Hall, as the effective center of freshmen (or freshpeople). It ",_', examples of campus, serves an unparalleled role. To deny Angell as a legal postering site would be to is well known that many oversensitivity, quadruple the work needed to get an equal level of publicity - as candidates will need people gain weight at which stink to hit a series of small buildings. Such a feat might not be difficult for large, established the beginning oftheir .,,, '" throughout our parties, but for smaller upstart and independents it is impossible. college career, partly modern P.c. Indeed, MSA's real intentions are revealed by the fact that postering. will be due to their change in ./-' campus and culture. allowed at other locations - even at the MLB and Union. Were MSA truly concerned overall lifestyle. / \ - -'- This "freshmen about environmental impact from non-recycled, thrown out posters, wouldn't they then Simply put, what this item of __ :: .. girls" fiasco simply ban posters at all campus locations? Such a total ban would surely restrict free speech clothing did was say that freshman, ; represents collegiate - but only by a degree more than the Angell ban. Furthermore, if MSA's true concern in particular females, may "enhance,,-· -- -l · ·satirical chicanery at its is the environment, we find it curious that they have ignored other green-friendly their figure with .the slew of slime and . fmest,(or worst). To some, this avenues for poster regulation. For example, MSA could have requested the janitorial slop tossed at freshmen palates during shirt is humorous. This was staff discard candidate posters in recycling bins rather than trash cans. If so motivated, the fall semester. No more, no less. Why ; . bound to happen. If one the Assembly even could have authorized a small bonus to the janitors for complying. are women focusing their energy on a / /i does not find the shirt Of course, such alternative methods to compensate for the environmental externalities piece of cloth when there are many more _/ >::<,{\ \ amusing, that is just fine. of MSA campaigns would still give non-major party candidates a fighting chance to relevant issues for women? Why has the , ~~7 \~ V But seriously, it's just a compete. feminist left displaced re\~ant issues like ~,-",./ , shirt. Why get worked'up An MSA campaign victory should reflect hard work and bright ideas. MSA, recog voting, employment, and discrimination about it? nizing the illegality of censoring ideas, has now chosen the novel approach.ofrestrict with tee-shirts and blubber? The world is not always a happy ing distribution of those ideas. Even for those candidates who run sans issues, MSNs It is hard to picture men ranting if a place. Fortunately, we have people who try action will serve the deleterious purpose of penal.izing hard work. Withickas and effort similar shirt mentioned thatfreshmanrnen to poke fun .at. it, which is something we squelched, the only paths left to victory are connections and party name. We wonder also tend to plump up. One can .find shoul4.cherish while it lasts. ~ who precisely the Student and Blue parties expect such a campaign to bepefif" .. Mt numerous examples in popular culture -Ryan G. McClarren ~ "."" ~ ' • • ", ,.., "'" ,-, - , -~- , ,,,,-,- ,,- , ,,& , ,,,,, -,,,,,,, , ,,¥ ,, ,, ,,,, , ,,,, , ,, ~ ..... ~ ,. ., .. - - ...... - - - 'M .•.. ' _"_ ,_.,." ' '''~. ''W...... ".~ ".,,.. ~ _ . ~ .. _''', '' ~~.,, _"" .~'.~ _ _ _ ._ " « • • " " • • ,, ....,, · ' v~,...... -.- . ___ ""~""'"""" _ ____' '" ...,.... \ \ not exist. On the surface, Budget such bias seems evidenced Bleakdown of the Fall '99 BPe Budget , by one funding comparison Contmued from Page 1 in particular. Specifically, al- Potitic.il (14.1%) solely on the impact a group has on cam- though the pro-abortion pus, and the strength of its application. rights groups Students for Certain factors can influence the success Choice and Medical Stu- of an application. For instance, groups dents for Choice received Re~gious (3.4%) requesting funding for campus events re- $300 and $200 respectively, ceived a preference over organizations the BPS allocated only $10 planning to use their money for trips. to pro-life Students for Life Contrary to what some belieVe, Mr. Roe (SFL). Upon appeal, when insists that the political biasofBPC mem- SFL Vice-President Andrew bers does not impact funding decisions. Shirvell threatened a protest, Rather, he claims that MSA spends stu- the BPe agreed to increase dents' money in a non-partisan fashion. SFL's allotment to $150, still Ethnic (19.0%) In total, roughly 14 percent - about substantially less then the $13,500 - of the BPC budget funded groups ideological opposires. explicitly political groups. Yet, from this Yet , other factors mitigate amounr, groups with a conservative or lib- such evidence. As Kym ~rrarian focus received only $550, the Stewart, a member of borh remainder going roward left-of-center or SFL and MSA, poinrs om. Gred-; s (3.9%) left-wing organizations. The reasons for SFL did not completely de- such a funding slant are numerous. For scribe all its activities in its Sel'llice (5 .3%) example, liberal campus organizations application for funding. If vastly outnumber conservative ones. In SFL included these in its ap- PutAicaiions (3.5%) Pro1essional (12.4%) addition, many right-leaning groups pos- plication "I would like to sess ideological objections to accepting think they would have been MSA money, for the Assembly raises this more objective," Stewart said. ,ponsible for the deaths of 60 million the pending Supreme Court case, the money in mandatory.student fees. As Despite the relative lack of proved Chinese. Simil.uly. religious Christians, Board ofRegmts v. Southworth. If the Court Elizabeth Keslacy, co-chair of the College discrimination against conservative Moslcm~ and Jews must fund gay-rights upholds the lower courts ruling, manda Libertarians told the Rroi~ last year, "the groups, the BPC budget nevertheless does activists, and students with no panicular tory fees at state universities throughout mandatory fee system is inherently wrong amount to passive, de facto bias against cultural heritage must finance the U-M's the country will get abolished. Conse because students are forced to fund conservative and libertarian students. Spe-- own ethnic ghettos of race-specific clubs. quently, U-M students would no longer need to fund objectionable groups. ~ ;gWHP~ . I~ :'rhi~p trey flce fundamen~ally . . >. c.ifiq~Uy, through mandatory student fees, Yet, as conservative groups tend to reject opposed." Accordingly, her co-Chair ' die-hard capitalist students, including vic- funding on ?cinciple, left-wing students Gabe Quinnan notes "we refuse to par- tims of communist terror: musl fund need not reciprocate this "gesture.» In WhClt eta you tlllllk .11)01I t the ticipate in a system that promotes the very groups that celebrate such dictatorship. effect, the mandarory fee serves as a sub BPC s lluoqetlfl9 choices? How ideals against which we fight. " Such financial generosity even extends to sidy to the left, allowing groups to flour .lbout malldatory studellt fC'cs? A third possible .reason is the politi- RAIL, a group that idolizes Communist ish despite a mere speckling of student /cttef S U f71/cfllC}.1flfCIl/f'W com cal bias that Mr. Roe explicitly claims does Revolutionary Mao Tse-Tung, a man re- suppon. This might change though, with seryice -J;3Udget Notable ... - ...... - ,. Politics "Community Service" community 1OFt:her and ' nile .wumaa Affirmative Aaion to IUppOrt me -1ep1 or education for certain community documents of me ltUdc:oa intem:ntion Allocations HE SAME DAY THAT MSA iIIua), and community 0IpDiz8ri0a (i.e. in me pcadi", aftirmatM action lawauits p..ed iu~BPe~ CYeftU or projects whkb orpaiac the apimt me Uniftnily, and divied up S60 it also passed a corrapondin, community to work 0.0 cauin iaua for a cdebruion of the Chin«e BAMN $301 Community Service Comiaion (esc) together: activism)," Admittedly uaing Traditional Moon FativaI.. The Liberator blJd&et. Unlikr me Bpc, the esc funds non-ditcme Iangu.ge. the esc. fundin& Although JheIe amouna equaled only apeci& projects, not groups. according applicuion actually asks "Does (hi. a .mall percentage of toW aUocadons, United for Aff. Action $350 to esc member Jon A. Marcus. Younger definition seem vague to you?" and awes they nevertheless raiJe iaues. ThClC did Legal Documents of the BPe. the esc ·completed its that the Commiaion is "currently working not .rile due to the behavior of tbe Student Intervention fine funding cyde during FaD Tam 1997 on fanding the pcrka language- to cxpreat Commission's members. who, as they (CSC Funding Application). after U·M their cum:nt "working dmnioon" of the should, acted in accord with the esC's ICP] Student Chapter $180 studena approved a S1 annual tuition committees responaibillry. defined function. Ratbu, they .pring School of the Americas Protest increase to fund community lCrVice 1n accordance with this broadly &om me esc. mandate iadf, speci6cally projectl. In tOtal. the esc allocated defined IGOpc of the esc's authority. it its -vague- funding guidelines. When NAACP $150 SS3.300 to me 78 applying goupc, wound up funding a aignifiant number StUdents VOted for a S 1 tuition bike to Essay Contest De.pite ill name, the CSC. of projec:u that the layman mi&ht coosider fund ·community lervice,· did they ~ iDdude. a wide swada of activity to ~ quatiooable "oommunily 1erVioe" expect that money to fund explicitly Students for Choice $100 baida what IIIOIt people woukt amlickr nJuc. It backed a proteSt .pUt the political caUKS (i.e. the School of the Resource Room "community service.." Aa:ordins to ia School ofthe Amcricaa C. miliwy mininl A.meric:u protest)? It is aD c:aipaa that fuadioc piddinca, the esc wiD fioanoe dtooI blamed b edt ..... ri. dic:raort) to d~rvel further attention. In the No War Against Yugoslavia $120 .di.a ..-.ice (ie. baiIdina. __ widl the tUDe of S180, aDocaled $301 to meantime, me esc wiD IiWy aJGtinue National Organizing Habitat fo, Humuiry). commuairy BAYN', Uberaror ....iM. _ppIied fundine political PO",. &Iooa witb Conference on Iraq dewIooment (i.e. eftaU m. ~ the '350 to United for Equality and seaaU GOIIUIWnity .mce WUIk. . n~ · ." , _ , ' ~''' _ '' < __... " I Page 6 '!'1m IIICBIGO RBVIBW - COWJIHS .:. : .. .:" . November 3,1999J o THE ROAD FROM SERFDOM The Laundry List of Liberal Lies: Disguising ulterior Marxist agendas with "rights" N 1989, THE BERLIN WAR FELL they supplemented it with a series of little for a few years, or taking a part-time job' pleasant truths. In reality, she was a long and with it, the hopes and dreams of lies, statistics and personal stories having to maximize their family commitments. time committed Marxist, and general left I an entire generation ofleft-wing radi their basis not in fact, but in pseudo-Marx Once you control factors such as number ist crackpot. Today, her disciples keep a cals. Since the 1960s, they had openly ist Theory. The objective: step by step, to of years in the workforce, and choice of similar outward appearance, hiding their preached socialism, holding up the So get government involved in people's lives, occupation, most of this wage differen socialism within. Yet, every now and than viet Union as a and convince individuals they are power tial disappears. In fact, as the National they slip up. Thus, during last year's "Femi model for their less without a strong state. To a large de Longitudinal Survey of Youth indicates, nist Fair" these costumed Communists intended worker's gree the Left has succeeded in getting their young childless women earn 98 cents to held a pinata smashing on the Diag - paradise. Ignor myths enshrined as doctrine. Today, many the male dollar. Further, according to the with pinatas created out of old Michigan ing Commu innocents sprout off the same statistics, Independent Women's Forum, between Reviews. And, on each pinata were words nism's obvious genuinely concerned about "rights," com fascination with pletely oblivious to the underlying pur gulags and geno pose. \Xlhat follows is a bnef chronicle of The Left has changed tactics - whereas cide, these activ some these misleading claims, repeated ists pined for the ad nauseam in the hopes that the younger they once tried to sell socialism outright, day of the inevi Jacob P.M. generation will accept them as fact. In a they now talk of "rights." This became their table glorious OsIick future column, I will focus not just on the proletarian revo statistics, but at the chief perpetrators of Big Lie: that they advocated rights, not to lution. Yet, as the these lies. Berlin \X/all turned from stone to rubble talitarian social control. fO dust, it became clear that there would The Feminists be no more October Revolutions. Un daunted, the Left: simply changed tactics. WOmen earn about 75 cents/or every dollar 1960 and 1994, "women's wages grew 10 of encouragement for the breaker. How \Xlhereas they once tried to sell socialism a man carns - This statistic, along with times as fast as men's wages." ever, these words were not phrases such outright, they now recognized that the others about a so-called "glass ceiling," as "End Sexual Assault" or "Break the American people would,rtevetaceptOO~ "seeks~createibe impression that males, ~o%, or J in;), colkgc-age women witt be Glass Ceiling." Rather, they were "Smash cialism when it's called "socialism." So, form some sort of landed gentry (the victims ofsexual assault at some point dur the Siate" and "Capitalism." instead, they talked of "rights" - women's "capital" parr of Marx's capital vs. prole- ing their college careers" (SAPAC) - Al righ ts, an imal rights, environmental tarian equation), who wish to keep women though such a statistic might play into Environmentalists rights, worker's rights, health-care rights, down due to sheer sexism. Of course, this feminist fantasies of oppressive men and etc. This became their Big Lie: that they statistic ignores that women often vol un- helpless women, it bares little relation to Global warming causes disasters - Over advocated rights, not totalitarian social rarily choose family over career, choos- the truth. The 1995 Survey of Campus the past few years, the Clinton-Gore ad control. And, to get their Big Lie accepted, ing to stay home with a new-born infant Law Enforcement Agencies, based on ministration has blamed heat waves, cold crime data from 581 colleges (and thus, waves, floods, droughts, fires and blizzards 89 percent of college students), indicates on this mysterious climate phenomenon. that roughly 1 rape is committed per cam Of course, such talk ignores that global (~fi . pus per year; not one per every 20 women warming theory doesn't necessarily pre~ (1 in five women times four years of col dict more extreme weather patterns; only /' !.,.'/"" ,/ , lege). According to the U.S. Bureau of general trends. Nor does it mention that . \. ~\ "' Justice, among women ages 20-24, 1 in global warming theory itself remains highly ., V 200 wa5 a vicrim of senlal assault; not speculative. As the Washington Times one ill five. Granted, some underreporting pointed out on Oct. 15, 1998 "the cli ,;··~~"·It docs OCCUi', ,,·itt (Inc SA.PAC statistic sug mate is just never 'average.'" Specifically, 1\, ~l~l gesting only 1 in 6 sexual assaults arc re although it's warmed over the past 100 ported tc the police, Even assuming the years, it hasn't appreciably over the past accuracy of that statistic (a dubious claim, fifty, but it has over the past 1000 (long considering SAPAC's other tlgures) the before humans starred using fossil fuels). U. S. figure fises to about 1 in 50, not 1 The earth's temperature has never held 111 5. Of course, if feminists cited the constant, but varied considerably through form~r, sexual assault mighr not appear out epochs. Further, as the Watermelons } ro be such an egregious crisis, requiring (green on the outside, red inside) never immedi:m: and forceful government 'in like to admit, it remains unclear whether \ rcrv(;lltion. global warming, if it exists, would benefit Perhaps the most interesting little or harm humanity. For example, agricul 'c, \. \' proof of my theQry that modern feminism ture loves warm weather, which suggests \ c(\J,\, derives from Marxism comes from the that a warf!1er earth might yield the greater ,~' \::\.J ~r... ,. progenitor of the current women's move productivity necessaty to feed an expand ,>, '-l' ''('>. ment. I speak, of course. about feminist ing population. icon Betty Freidan, whose Feminine Mys ~ique helped launch the feminist crusade. The sky is folli,~g- Although ,Rot a direct At publication, Ms. Freidan claimed to quote, ml),ch ~f the modern environmen~ The ghost of Karl Marx returns to ~aunt all right-minded University students. be a. simple housewife, awakened to un- 'tal m~v'e~e~treflects discredited, Malthu- , , •• ~ • ~ .. '* , ~ • ~ ~ ~ •• 11 ~ ..... ~ ...... '" '. ~"<....-<~.... - --- \ sian "Chicken Little" attitudes towards the American standards this is still low, just eral deficit to expwtfe - Although popu poor got poorer - Yes, the rich did get future. Thus, as the Investor's Business not quite at su~ h a shocking level. Inter larly repeated in the media and by Demo richer, bur so did the poor. During the Daily reported, Earth Science: The Chal estingly, it was the AFL-CIO's garment crat attack dogs, such claims bare little 1980s, as the National Center for Policy lenge of Discovery, a school book for chil workers union that calctilated the $.69 fig relation to the truth. In reality, Reagan's Analysis points out, the poorest 20 per dren, warns that copper, zinc, and oil "will ure, an organization whose membership massive 1981 tax cut jump-started the cent saw their inflation-adjusted incomes be depleted in 60, 40, and 30 years re possesses strong fears about being able to economy, and encouraged people to work rise 6 percent. Interestingly, during the spectively." Of course, such predictions compete with hard-working foreigners. It hard, starr new businesses, and invest in first six years of (he 90s, this same group have been made before: in 1972, the En is also an organization that often calls for new technologies. As a result, income tax suffered a 7 percent drop in real income. vironmentalist Club of Rome predicted stiffer, worker-friendly regulation of busi collections soared an astonishing 56 per Yet, we hear no one calling the Clinton ian that resources such as gold, oil and cop ness, projecting the hand of government cent between 1981 and 1989. However, 90s the "Decade of Greed." Why? Because per would be extinct by 1993. For oil in unto the pure bosom of capitalism. during this same period, the Democrati the media only wishes to fight men who particular, so-called experts have at vari controlled Congress's spending skyrock idealize the free-market, and will always ous times predicted we'd use it all up by The Reagan Record eted 69 percent. back those who apologize for 1914, '19, '26, '39, '49, '80, and '92. The collectivism. 1vR proposed cures to these dilemmas: limit Ronald Reagan's tax cutting--CdUSed the fed- -- In the 1980s, the rich got richer and the economic growth, and "share" (redistrib ute) more resources to the developing world. Such policies serve as perfect reci pes for destroying the world economy, and hence global capitalism, rest on un founded assumptions - such as a con Anll(lunci ng the Seco nd An n ll ;l! sistent underestimation of the power of the capitalist drive. Hence, oil, long pre dicted to go the way of the Dinosaurs Conservative Campus from which it caine, has seen its proven reserves jump an astonishing 733 percent between 1950 and 1990. Why? Because Journalism Awards the market anticipated the coming short fall, and self-corrected. Due to the profit motive, we found new methods of extract ing oil, searched harder for new Sources, and improved energy efficiency. Similarly, despite a population that.·h . SQLE ...will be awarded to the best P~oducing baseball caps at $.69 an hour conservative student journalists and publications Armed with an impressive battery of sta tistics, Students Organizing for Labqr and of the J 999-2000 academic yea r. Economic Equality ("SOLE," not "SOLEE" for some reason) has success fully lined up many new recruits to their cause. Yet, some of these statistics. whiie Gel rcady. Categories will include the technically true, fail to tell the entire story. For example, they frequently cite wage lev Bes t Editor Av,rard, els in developing countries, such as the J I1vesri gative Journalism Award, $.69 per hour workers receive at a Do Outstand ing On-Line Publicatio n Award, minican Republic factory where U-M baseball caps are produced. What they and m any more. neglect to mention is how they convert foreign currencies: through the exchange Entries must be suhmitted by "hy 2(), 2000. Cont:.<.T {he Cemer for Prim and Rro:ldcast .". 1<, .1", 1;'1 dc u ik rate method (how much a given amount of foreign currency can purchase in Center for Print and Broadcast Media American dollars). Yet, exchange rates fre 1\ division of rhe Leadership Ins(irutc quently present a misleading picture of foreign price structures, ignoring the lower MUM5P R I NT .... 0 prices common in many developing coun rn BHOAI) CA ST tries. Thus, we see a vastly higher num RUt'. . ber emerge by calculating these wages in StCH'll l'.J, Wood Building. + 1101 ","urth Uighland Sh :(~c t + Arlington. VA 21201 stead through purchasing power parity (877) S:!i-CI'U\J or (703) 147-4987 + a ward~ ~~ , l e .ad-in~t.org + www.<'phm.org and www.Leader ·s hiplll~l i rut(' . (} l' g (i.e. how much of two currencies would :r..- !,...·4.>;}.n .. 'I ; /;H f' j '; ; ~ " < 5~'~: :". J!.i; ..... ; ~' ~'~ : )f! . r.:. rl' r"N:" 1'; ' ! ~ (-.11,0("" ;;,, ... ;; f ' ~l;. t, ! "o" ;: ,;\.\ '. "VI H" ,'~ " ." l. M,l. It>( al ("!!.,; "-,,, < , ...~ .'t.i (: : , ; <-}' r ....j' ''''l'.; ('1':.";";,, ,,. n .., .' "'~' 1 , :.' .: fl •• ' ,." .. ,/,, " Il.l'·'; :'. :.,, ; t .,. ,.''<·~ .:f,' iv.·r!''' ... . l:H "; 0(;" !{) ! f, <' ..... ( • .1 .'" '.,.I!I· , ,",,." , .,=.' .',\ ~ ."'\ ' ...crt ,;.,t; ·N·' t.1l ,.',,l,01":'/'!' it take to purchase a basket of goods). In the case of those Dominican baseball cap makers, this method suggests they earn an hourly wage of $1.83. Of course, by be said for crimes related to sexual assault: of rhis oversight by the liberal left on the OCt. J7. an intruder gained access [0 the 15 reported in 1995, 18 in 1996, 12 in pany platform of the DAAP (Defend PhiUips Hall dormitory at Michigan State Crime 1997, and J 8 in J 998. In the ongoing Affinlutive Act jon Party), (he polilical University, and sexually assaulted a female Continued from Page 1 bartle against rape on campus, SAPAC ' firearm of BAMN. whose candidates student who had left her door unlodced. (Sexual Assauh Prevenrion unrer) leads consti[ute a major porrion of MSA On the same day a male student murdered In explaining the Iremendous increase the charge, and offers crisis imervenlion. (Michigan Student Assembly). a female student at Kalamaroo College .:.' in underaged drinking, a survey counseling. and awareness for victims of Specifically, the DAAP platform oudencs after a late· night argument, and conducted las( spring by the U·M .sex ual assault. its plan to "fight racism, sexism, sexual sul>scquentally committed suicide. subSlance abuse research cenrer found harassment, anti·Semitism. and anti In [he DPS safety guide, students can that 45 percent of U·M undergraduate Icsbian/g;ay bigotty on campus." h further discover several safety tips, especially srudents are binge: drinkers (although the If crime statistics proposes to "invesligate and take action focusing on traveJling across campus at acce:pted definition of Ubinge drinking" convey that "ntUe againsl racist, .sexist, and other bigoted night. DPS recommends thaI students ~ has come under scrutiny for being tOO a£lacks." Yet critics of DAAP often walk in groups, avoided secluded and I .' encompassing). However, it is likely that es" do not exist at wonder: if crime statistics convey that poorly lit areas, be able to call for help, the recem rise in liquor law violations is "hate crimes" do not exist at U-M, then and look for blue light emergency phones due to increased enforcemenc, rather than en wntUdo what do they intend (0 inveslig;ltc? during lare hours, in which students au an increase in drinking on campus. WandDAAP An overall drop in crime pertains not more susccprible to crime. • " Some crime prevenrion programs'on only to the U·M campus, but (0 the nation Students can find blue light , ::/1- . mpus include the Nile Owl, Night Ride, I '0 i e? as a whole. According to the Justice emergency phones throughout campus [he DPS Escon Service, Nonhwalk. and Department, the violent-<:rime rate in the which in an emergency alert a DPS :: )- Safcwalk, which all ofTer an altern.uive t United Statcs fell 7 percent in 1998. dispatcher with no dialing required. walking alone oil night. According to Another category on the DrS repon reaching the lowest jevd StnCC the survey Despite the comforring DPS report, ;.;' Safewalk coordinator Jim Cohen, "We: recorded [he number of crimes that of victims began 26 years ago. Most Captain Seames still asserts, ·Crime [Safewalk and Nonhwalk) arc made up "m.anifest evidence of prejudice based on experts credh the continued mong U.S. cannot be reduced by the police aJone, of a group of volunlCC'cs that dcdicale al race, religion, sexual oriental ion. or economy, efforts to combar drug violence. we need the help of the community. Not leasr 2.5 hours .t week to helping Ihis erhnicity" - otherwise known as "hale rough sentencing laws, and improved only (0 practice crime prevention. bur [0 ~use. By walking in groups the person crimes." Surprisingly, there was no tracc police procedures as reasons for the worle with us [the police] ro jointly find being walked docs not have: to worry as of any Uhate crime" on this campus for currenl tn:nd. solutions to those problems that much, possibly even al all, about being the past four years. Regardless of this and other crime contribute to crime." Nt Clacked. This is a wonderful service .and Incerestingly. this revelation tells quite reports. [WO recent incidents at the people (hal voluntCC'r are cxcdlenc." a different story in comparison to the neighboring uOlversirics point our that Unfonunald)., though overall personal many polilical groups of the leftist ilk. campus crime Still remains a core issue crimes continue to slide, the same cannot especially BAMN. One can find evidence for coll~e students. For example, on " fused to print the book bccauJe of the '. , title. "We have enough trouble without Daily your ride: one conservative publisher told t ContInued from Page 1 him. Horowitz. feds t~t "what the [MiL, se Horowitz fdt the rejection was moti· did was censorship." vatc:d by the DtUIy's liberal c:djtoriaJ 5W\CC. Thomford isn't so sure. "There', such ") think it's a sad when college stu· a fene line'- he "[We are) exercising All day said. dents want to silence debate rather than to ROIl T.1l -/SLAJI/IS tW #'M6-"DOIIUIA. IlALA\'SIA & S. E . UlA. the freedom mat we have choose not TIllS IIA.TlAL An • KLP-DVUK ~ .... TIlAOrno.AL co..AT listen to and particip ate In it," said to run ads." Nt TIlCD.QUU Wfrtl tlAliD TO ...D COIIeAT••• OU.D netlTUle AlID Horowin. RAPO.S. UlAH DA.CE UK. IIO"UUTS 01' MAJ.ADlA • WIlST SUIlATaA, IRDOROIA. UTluz.. e FLUID 1Htf'..... 1IIt ACTIO•• TIlAT But Thomford said AtE. Coo.Dt.ATE.D ""T. TaE. MUSIC & 'Uln.-IC H UMS or ~ that the busjncss stafrs de- .JAYIA AND ttuT aUIlATaA. cision to rejcct ads has PRI"ATIt TRADITIONAL CLASSU 1IiILL Bit SCBItDULItD. nothing to do With c:djta. rial stance. "Advertisers UM FALL •• don't understand tlut ad· [Hi SCHEDULE venising is advertising and REC CALL 734 930-9963 editorial content is cdira. '1t'OR"ri OR COME DOWN TO rial coment: he said. ' ·I-'.'rt·.t~ NATURAL HEAUNG The Dilily business FOR THE S CHEDULE staff never rejects 3n ::d beL2us~ they disagree with it, ~ .. id Thomford. "We don't focus on our ., Ii.,. .~ M• tI- personal ~rspcctives." PO Box 7753 Ann Arbor. MichIgan USA . 1104 OUI of the hundreds PH 001 134 930-9963 FA X 001 134 214-5.. ot ads the Dllily receives, W obsito hllp ,l_w umlch edul· sllot they reject just one or rwo O1haqqOhotm811 com us 23 jXr month. "It's not a 101 Lo mpared to the volume of adverl isemen ts," he said. Now Rffg/.ter for Cia.... \ .9 .t Natural He.llng There has been con Located on the edge of troversy o\'er the book :~ Centra' c"mpus from Ihe stan. Accorrung to the WIUIJlnfl~n 7im'~, twO publishing houses r~ ''t-'. '. Steve Forbes Campaigns at U -M BY DAVE SACKETT "Who's hurt the most?" Forbes asked. income tax increased by 'Those who start out in life with the least. $1,100 just for saying, 'I ITH AN UNEXPECTED ... Our schools just aren't doing the job do,'" Forbes said. "That's . sense of humor and and new they should with those [kids]. The only Washington's version of W new plan for America, Steve way you can [make a reform] is £0 give family values: tax them!" Forbes addressed U-M students and the parents the recourse to do something Lastly, Forbes stressed members of the Ann Arbor community immediately v:.ith their child and not wait the importance of at an informal speech held in the Michigan for political reform." restructuring social Union on October 27. Another highlight of Forbes's speech security and health care. Forbes emphasized a flat tax, school was the need (0 reform tax laws. Forbes "Why is the growing choice, and the right to life as components joked that the tax code, more than seven demand for health care a of his new vision for America in the 21 st million words in length, would confound crisis? ; .. It's because of century. The audience responded warmly anthropologists in the future with its the crazy way we finance to his presentation, which outlined plans needless complexity. Forbes's solution health care in this country. to rewrite the tax code, give parents a would simplify the tax code by entirely You have no choice [in choice of school options, and restructure eliminating certain tax laws, such as the health care]: you are £old both social security and health care. estate tax that demands a tax on one's what doc(Or you can have, On the issue of education, Forbes possessions after one is deceased. what hospital you can go said that he found it peculiar that "No death taxes either. You;ll be (0, what you can have Americans are able to choose where they allowed (0 leave the world unmolested by done .... But you should be live and what career they have, but not the IRS. No taxation without respiration," able to choose your own Steve Forbes, owner of Fotbes Magazine, is one where their children go to school. Forbes retorted, as the audience cheered doctor." of the contenders for the Republican nomination According to Forbes, if competition was in support. "The system we have today is For a new social for the presidential election in 2000. introduced into the "educratic" K-12 rigged against you. If your income while security plan, Forbes education system, then schools that poorly you're working goes up 10 percent, your suggested giving Anlericans the option Information about the Forbes 2000 educate children would lose student taxes go up 15 percent. Everything you (0 contribute (0 their personal retirement campaign can be obtained at enrollment. Forbes believes that if do is taxed." accounts, instead of feeding money to the www.forbes2000.com. The Forbes ineffective schools like these were Forbes also addressed the infamous behemoths in Washington who, as Forbes campaign team commented that eliminated, then the most disac;lvantaged marriage penalty tax, which discourages said, would horde that money in the way opportunities for student involvement or poverty-stricken students would benefit marriage by taxing married couples. a bear would greedily horde a pot of would be welcome and appreciated. ~ as well. "The aver.age couple has their honey. ~------.. ~------Pro-Life Protest on C~FP.b" ~~ ~' 1: An Bntirt meal wI'Ippsd in a .imple psckJge. Diag Stirs Emotions We bring the WOOd to your waiting taste buds. With wraps from Latin America, Thailand, Indis .. BY ANNE N AGRANT According (0 SFL President Melissa Mexko l Mediterranean Bnd more. Always Osborn, the club did not intend to force .preparad with the hJghtst quality Ingred1ants HE USUAL SINGING, their views on others. Instead, the yelling, and fundraising on the members thought that a silent ~;-~~~~ availlbte. Our generous proportions and T Diag was interrupted on Ocwber demonstration would more appropriately · ~~NAT\O· prices can't be best. 29 by the Students for Life's (SFL) somber symbolize of the silent deaths of unborn demonstration against abortion. babies. © SMOOTHIES©) CAPPUCCINO SFL, a secular pro-life campus SFL veteran Joel Cupp found special organization, supports "the dignity of all meaning in display of crosses. "Events like © SALAD BAR @ICE CREAM human life, from the moment of this drive home the point that we're not conception until natural death," according all here forever. We have a .limited amount © SOUPS @)PASTERIEa to their informational brochure. of time," Cupp said. "Life is really short ©WAFFLES ©WORLD MUSIC The silent protest included the display and we need to protect it." of fifry white crosses on the bottom of Even though the club represents a WHliumsSt. the steps of the Hatcher Graduate Library. conservative viewpoint,' SFL has not had Q) > 301 E" Liberty St. Each cross symbolized 800,000 abortions, much negative response. according to tii « as and stood as a tribute to the approximately student members. Unlike many ! .c. c:: & 5th Ave. 40 million abortions reported in America contoversial campus events, this en Liborty St. \l')- i since the Roe v. wade decision in 1973, demonstration was met with no public 662-1136 which ga\l.e women the right to have opposition. © fax 662-1246 abortions. This was the first such visible In an effort to increase awareness of demonstration sponsered bySFL in the Huron St. www.caffeintl.. com October as "National Respect for Life" Diag, but Mr Shirvell said the event will Month, SFL organized this demonstration become an annual occurance. l\R. to remind people of the high numbers of r------~-~Purchase of abortions that may go unheard among Interested in Students for Li&? I 2 0 FF Gourmet Wrap & I college students. Members handed out Next meeting: Nov. 8 at 7 p.ni. I $ Fountain Drink I literature about abortion and the right Mot .... lid with othor Qffer• . b.Dlr08 10/31198 .. in the Mkb.igan Union Parker Room. .. to live. ------_ ... _------. R-O"-T-C: Good for You, Good for Me BY JAMES YEH history and traditions backing it up. This a respect and appreciation for those thar expected to not kick the crap out of any AND J ACOB F.M. OsUCK wasn't something to be trifled with. came before us in serving their country. protesters that gOt into our faces. As All around the building are relics of There is another imponant reason we ROTC students. stfuning around fre OR ALMOST ALL OF THE the past. In the Navy's navigation class joined ROTC. No one can deny that the quently in fuU-uniform, we learned first . third year studc:ms OUl thc:rc:. the room, the posirion of Ann Arbor on the military rradition has served an essential hand about the sheer animosity members F 1211 of 1997 marked the beginning globe is displayed on a small cardboard fole in every culmre. Nations and empires of the left hold for the military, and the of their college years. For us, iI also sheet on a bulletin board. Closer exami have risen and &lJen through war. In ev United Statcs in general. Once. a pass marked the beginning of our shorr Stays nation of the sheet wiU show chat the p0- ery generation young men come of age. erby even cried out to Jacob, as he StrUt in the University of Michigan's Army and sition was plotted in 1946. I n the same learn discipline and risk death in the ser ted to class in fatigues. "Where are you Navy Reserve Officer Training Corps room is another relic from the 19405: a vice of their country. We fdt thar to not going. fO IciJI babics like you did in Viet- (ROTC) programs. respectively. While sheet of wood. with the block "M" carved gain more knowledge of this cominuing narn.)" most people see the ROTC program as inco it, and with the carved signatures of evolving culture would deprive us of a In the end, it didn't really maner [0 just a lickct into the military, our experi the class of 1945. The men's room on the remarkable opporlUnity: to learn more us that we didn't fanish. Jr's not that we ence teaches us that it's much more. Al first Roor of North Hall is also a relic. by about the human condition. Through didn't ca~ it just turned our not [0 be for though both of us have since moved on. the looks of it - probably the oldest one ROTC. we could learn of military cus us. But we sciU got the most Out of it. It finding that, for various reasons, a mili in Ann Arbor. The only modem features tOntS, lore, tactics and values from the didn't maner whether we learned about tary career wa~ not for us. we nevc:rrhe are the modern soap and towel dispens inside: not via a stodgy history book writ small arms taerics. or naval engineering; less cherish the rime we spent in the ers. The old ~shioned heater and toilets ten br some pseudo-Marxist '¥ho never those deta.ils could be" picked up anywhere. ROTC. We know that lessons we learned look like they belong in a museum. We held a gun in Ius life. For example. Jim What we learned couldn't be taught from in ROTC will stay with us for the rest of had gonen the messag~: ROTC was to be learned about how, through the use of reading a book, or writing ;l paper; it was our lives. and we're both glad we took the taken seriously. This message is further carrier banle groups and island hopping. part of the experience. And JUSt what was time to participate, even though we did driUed into your mind when you go into merican forces defeated the Japanese that ultimate lesson? The sixth code of con not complete the program. We're grateful the midshipman lounge. In thert, one sees during World War II; not how the war duer, whjch we had to memorize, sums it for the ROTC program for teaching us ponraitS of those from the unit that djed against the Japanese was "racist.- up pretty wdJ: things [hat we would've never ever been in World War II. The piclUres are old. One of the most imporunt things that "I will never forger that ( am an able to learn anywhere else at the Univer and the print is ~ded, but rhe message is we learned was that we were representa American. fighting fot freedom. respon sity of Michigan. quit~ clear: this is quite serious. People tives of our branch of the armed services. sible for acrions. and dedicated to the When first waJlcing into North Hall, didn't die playing 1M football. going to thus we had to live by a certain standard. principles which made my country free. ( the ROTC building. one is muck with panies or writing for a campus paper. It We Wtte expected to live by the core val wiU trust in my god and in the United itS imposjng presence. The building. once just puts everything else into perspective. ues of our respective branch. and at least States of America.· the University's hospital. is over one hun People get the wrong impression of Jim h;ad to ta1ce the midshipman oath. This is something that we're going (0 dred years old, and it shows. It help«! RO'T C. We weren'r transformed into mind promising nOI to lie, cheat or steal. It's carry around for the rest of our lives. re [each one of the firsr lessons learned in I~ automatons. and we never met any one thing to say you're not going to lie gardless of what we end up doing for a ROTC: we were now part of something one remotely like Niedermeyer from Ani cheat or sreal, it's totally different when Ijving. What we learned wasn't about be .ir. bigger. and older, and with more tra mal House. We were instructed to be you're sworn not to do so. And what en ing an officer; it was about being an ditions than anything that has existed or thinking leaders, just like the tholWnds forced it even more what the ~a that you American. That's one lesson mat should will exist on this campus. We were train that proceeded us. We learned what it took were juS( one of ",any who had sworn never be forgonen. Mt ing as fumre officers of U.S. miJit.lry; a to be a good leader. and we learned the this oath, and we were bound by it to military with wdJ over (WO centuries of values that made good leaders. We learned gether. And most memorably. we were kttns~;mil."lTfIiew. co Remember USA's Protectors on Veterans Day BY J AMES YEH wouldn't be worth the paper it was printed close to their hcans. like freedom and lib What really gets to me is the irony on if Americans hadn't gone off to fight erty. And more often than not, after the of it all. Some people would spend ETERAN'S DAY WILL for those rights. In &ct, the ConstilUtion horrors of war have made )'ou think twice weeks defending the rights of X num soon be upon us, and too few wouldn't even exist if people weren't will about fighting for ideals. you end up fight ber of Iraqi kids that die each day from V of us will take the time out to ing (0 fagtlt for their rights. It's because ing for your buddies.. UN sanerions, but ask them to pick up reflect on what Veteran's Day is truly of them. that we today we can worship Somehow. we've lost perspectjve on a rifle to actually hdp get rid of the about. Like many other holidays, whatever gods we want, have the right to what's imponant. The media always made source of the problem, and they'lI stage Veteran's Day has lost a lot of its mean a fair trial. and bum the Bag that they so light of the &ct that Bob Dole was an old another protest. Some people wiU de ing to commercialization. To some, valiantly fought for. fogey during hi:. 1996 presidential run, fend affirmative aerion as a -right" of Veteran's Day is about going to sec what's Veterans go and fight because thty're but they never seemed to make [he con ·oppressed" people. but when it comes on sale at the mall. instead of remem· (old (0. not necessarily because they think neaion that he was old enough to fight to picking up a rifle [0 physicalJy de bering those that fought in America's the war is right and should be fought. They ~ism :n me COSt of an arm. Yet. a man fend the rights of mJy oppressed people wan. faght because their country asked them to who spent his youth .moking pot and in a foreign land, they'll just sit on their People seem to have some SOrt of do so. All through my years here. I've dodging the draft when his country asses and make copies.. Only on a col mjsconception about the U.S. Consti heard a countless number of my fellow nceded him Wl1.S able to bear him and my lege campus is someone who brutally tUlion and the rights it gives U5. The students declare how they never would in rhe White House. Today, John McCain murdered a policeman called a hero. Constitution is a piece of paper wrinen have gone off to ftght in Vietnam or any can't even comb his own hair because his and anyone who killed communists for over (WO hun~ yean ago. It has no other war that they didn't believe in. But ;Inns were improperly set after breaking his country called a baby lcillcr. special powers that magically grant us they just don't undersmnd. No one in their them both in Vietnam. Yet George W. 1ne most glaring question: why pro the right to free speech. reJjgion. and 10 right mind would support war. War is a Bush. a man who spent Vietnam snoning test war at all? Nothing college stuclenrs forth. The Constirution is JUSt words on horrible thing. But what people till sup lines in the Ajr National Guard has a huge do will ever dieate foreign and mili- paper. People forgc1 what', behind the pon are ideals. And if you fight for noth lead over him. What a way to show our Constitution that gives those words ing ., you should flstn for ideals, espe appreciation of thoec that have risked their III VETERANS, PIge 13 meaning and power. The Constitution cially ideals that all Americans should bold lives in our country's defen.e. [ November, 3,. 1999 TIIB IllCBlGAR REV'IBW - CAJIPI1S AnAllfB Page III Pointless LSA Requirements are Obsolete: An Engineer's Perspective BY MATTHEW FRANCZAK homepage states, is to develop "a liberal Another useless requirement IS option to use technology courses to fulfill education ... neither too narrowly focused foreign language. Indeed, proficiency in any LSA requirement (other than the N EVERY MAJOR or too diffuse." A closer analysis suggests a second language is a great advantage in optional 3 credit Math and Science universiry campus across the that the LSA requirements are behind the many walks ()f life, but this requirement category of distribution). As a cornerstone O nation, there are two distinct times and constitute a pointless burden fails beduse if does not create lasting of the 21 st century, technology will be groups of undergraduate students: on students. proficiency. The student who could benefit found in virtually every workplace. The those who pursue engineering, and those The first bloated area of LSA study from a foreign language will likely have LSA requirements should not turn a blind who do not. Accordingly, most universities is "Distribution." This 30-credit forgotten it by the time he graduates. If eye (0 this important development by have two major undergraduate colleges: behemoth can be larger than the student's one completes his' foreign language failing to require a math or computer the College of Engineering, and the concentration, which some student~ can requirement within the first two years, and technology course for its students. College of Everything Else, which at the complete in just 24 credits. Distribution oyer the course of the remaining two years LSA officials must not have stopped University of Michigan goes by the credits may not be within a student's spent without any foreign language to calculate the price of their "breadth moniker, "College of Literature, Science, concentration, nor maya student place practice, it is unlikely that most students giving" study. An LSA student must spend and the Arts" (LSA). And any hard out of them with high school A.P. courses. wculd retain .he majority of what they 30 credits on Distribution, 3-4 on R&E, working engineer looking over the LSA The specifics of this requirement assure have learned. and 16 on Foreign Language for a total of requirements is in for quite a shock. that no student can take more than 13 The LSA degree's fatal flaw is its al least 49 credits, which is equivalent to The LSA academic advising center's Distribution credits in a field even shocking lack of emphasis on Math and 3 semesters at about 16 credits per web page shows the components of the distantly related to his or her major, Science requirements. An LSA student semester. With regard to tuition, this is LSA degree to consist of: Electives, forcing the student to learn a diffuse body can graduate without taking a single math $9,222 for Michigan residents and an Introductory Composition, JrlSr Writing of knowledge that most likely be course -- instead fulfilling their math incredible $29,364 for out-of-state Requiremen t, Concen tration, irrelevant to their future plans. requiremellt in social sciences or even students, based on lower division fees. Distribution, Race & Ethniciry (R&E), The next pointless requirement is humanities courses! By trivializing math's While contemplating the price of their Second Language, and Quantitative R&E, which is essentially a course about significance, LSA sends forth into the real liberal education, LSA students should Reasoning. This is in interesting contrast racism. The administration implemented \\'orld students who mav have no more keep in mind the words of the great FatS to what would be the equivalent this requirement in 1991 because they felt mathematics skills than basic algebra and Domino: "A lot of fellows nowadays have engineering pie chart: large chunks of students needed to spend 3-4 credit hours geometry. a B.A. ... Unfortunately, they don't have a math, science, and engineering, and a very learning "to listen to and understand a An equally disturbing trend is LSA's J.O.B." l\-R small piece of "Other." The apparent diversity of voices," according to LSA conspicuously missing requirement for purpose of these requirements, as the LSA Dean Goldenburg. computer-oriented courses, or even an lettersfii?michiganwview.com "" Ethnic Clubs Promote Ethnocentrism Hyphenated Americans must learn to put America first By RABEH SooFI American society and values. They minorities to adopt and accept American institutions. comprise a sub-culture that is reclusive, culture and way of life. This is the ultimate tragedy for this ERHAPS YOU'VE SEEN THEIR exclusive, and ultimately damaging to I am an immigrant to the U.S. of na'ive nation, born in the vain attempt to flyers littering Angell Hall. Or both the student and to Ameri~an unity. Persian origin, and have witnessed . ensure free speech and freedom for all. It P maybe you have peered into dorm Consider for example, the following: firsthand the repulsion that fellow Persians provides its 'citizens with the best of lounges named after anti-American An acquaintance of mine from - with still one leg in Iran, apparently - everything: education, loans to finance minority leaders during meeting time. Or Colombia, whose friends are almost feel toward "one of their kind" who so does that education, employment opportunities your roommate from abroad has taken entirely Colombian, routinely complains not refer to "her homeland" as the one in to repay those loans, and wealth to buy you to one of their events. They are the about how thoroughly he detests the U.S., the Middle Eastern deserts. watermelon in the market in February. Latino Law Associations, the Thai Student and how he cannot wait until he leaves Having been born in Tehran, Iran, my And what does it ask in return? Nothing. Associations, the Black Business Students with his American-attained bachelor parents and I left behind a countty taken Not even allegiance. Associations of the campus ... the list degree to attend the University of hardly stops there. After all, one of the Colombia Medical School - even largest legs of extracurricular though his tuition is largely financed You cannot reap the benefits of this precious organizations are the "Minority and through subsidized loans and grants. Etnnic Clubs," as U-M terms them. My Asian ex-roommate's friends country, and still keep your loyalty and devotion These organizations, which seek to would proudly boast that rhey had not promote the cultural awareness of one American friend. They spoke to a far-off land that would sooner execute you minorities on campus, offer a club for Cantonese on the streets, took Asian than let you speak poorly of its institutions. nearly every ethnicity: chances are, if Studies Courses, and went to Lunar Balls yours is a minority, it will be on the list. sponsored by the Asian American Of course, no one can at face-value attack Association. these groups, who claim so much in the In the halls of West Quad and most over by an oppressive, evil regime that stole Instead, it allows students who attend noble name of providing support, likely, orher dorms, rhere hang signs that from its people rhe freedom and liberty they its public universities - whose tuition is information, and a community for rheir read "Black Male Dialogue Grc;mp" that had enjoyed earlier. But I did not come to subsidized by its taxpayers - to segregate isolated and wayward brethren, who meets every week to discuss issues like rhis country expecting Persian to be taught themselves as exclusive groups that hunger for cultural nourishment. These "afrocentrism," "alienation," "academic in my schools: I did not expect my transcend the need to adopt and support groups seem to be involved wirh' nothing su,:sscs" and "rhe impact of attending a community to foster for me a Persian its beliefs. These student groups hatefully more than the simple, harmless task of Eurocentric University." People's Association, nor did I expect to profane that generosity by burning flags, aiding the spread of diversity on the What could one possibly do or say deliver my valedictorian speech in Persian. intentionally misspelling "AmeriKKKa," campus as well as across the nation with after reading about rhese situations aside After all, society in rhose days had no room and refutmgtbevtryvalues rhat allow them regards to their patticular ethnicity. from sorrowfully hanging one's head in for subversive rogue organizations to exist. That is where the myth ends and the heartbreak, aghast from such fearless compromising American values and Of course, it would be tremendously fifth column begins. displays of ingratitude and hypocrisy? culture: it demanded new fealty to a new naIve to say that every ethnic campus In actuality, the U-M's vision of Instead of diersiry, minoriry and government. When I took my oath as a organization is like this. There are rhe few "diversity" is having white and' minority ethnic clubs provide the breeding ground naturalized citizen, I chose to be American. that are less concerned with segregating. students simultaneously walk . across the for ethnocentrism. Instead of Not a Persian-American, not Persian. I themselves as an autonomous sub-culture. Diag in one glorious scene. They do not contributing to American culture, rhey came to this country with the hopes of and more intent on appreciating rhe culture talk, they do not even look at each other, reject it and ridicule those who do not making it my own, not using it for its and social institutions of a particular exceptional education system and then, country. Do not be mistaken; rhere is a having gained my world-renowned clear diff.erence between joining French V-M's idea oj "diversity" is having white and education, leaving for my "home country." club because you want to travel to France, minority students simultaneously walk across the My cousins in Iran will never have what I and being a member of the Asian have, will never walk under the eternal American Association that limits their Diag in one glorious scene. They do not even look at wings of liberty, never look up into the social circle to Cantonese-speaking Asians each other, but they are there, all together, at once. wondrous sky and red, white, and blue from Hong Kong. waving in air. Instead, they look at rhe world For the un-American, selfISh students, through veiled eyes, walking dirty streets who abuse the unique opportunity they but they are there, all together, at once. embrace the culture of their "true" that are crowded with soldiers carrying have been given and beat it like an animal But as fervently as this University assures heritage. I would suggest to my colleagues machine guns. They know the limitations until there is nothing left of it, I would itself of that diversity, it ignores the racial that ethnic groups like these do no more of their lives from birth; they beg for what ask that they have the decency to leave cleavages that define themselves in the' for promoting diversity on campus than the students or" the num~rous ethnic what little is left of American unity and South Quad cafeteria: how the black, affirmative action. They limit minority associations have but could never patriotism by ending their abuse of its hispanic, and Indian kids automatically students to a social circle composed of appreciate. gifts. If they spent a moment of their day sit in one area, as if by second nature; people who may share their heritage or What the members of those groups do asking themselves if the country and how the Asians in another; and the rest religion, but are not representative of not realize, is rhat to enjoy rhe benefits of culture they hold their true loyalty to somewhere else. Even worse, the AIllerican society. How well does America - the freedom, the opportunity, would have room for activities like theirs, University harbors and condones that sort isolating yourself by having only Egyptian and the blessings - you cannot be a rhey would understand rhe rare and most of self-segregation by sponsoring ethnic friends prepare you to go into the real hyphenated American when it is precious of privileges it is to have the clubs that consist of clumps of minority world in which Egyptians are a small, convenient to be so. You cannot straddle freedom of speech and belief in a woad students too intimidated by the "other" minute minority? the cultural fence by reaping the benefits dominated by those who dedicate to expose themselves to anything but Sadly, the root of this problem is not of this precious COUntry but still keeping themselves to winking it out of people of their color and' heritage. These rhe celebration of cultural heritage among your loyalty and devotion to a far-off existence. ~ ethnic clubs give minoriry students a minorities. Instead, it stems to a much forgotten land that would sooner execute chance to totally isolate rhemselves from more subtle point: the resistance of you than let you speak poorly of its Iletters@miChi~~;;~;vi.~om I ~>""_<"~"'''>'''''"'~_' ' '''' ' _'~'~ '""~''' ' ''' ' '_' ,,,,~• . _~_,,._ . ~,, h' ~"' ~_'_""~"''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''~~''' _ _ ~~:'::- '~:'''''·';~~;'~'''~··''''''·''·',.'.' ·"'· INovember 3, 1999 1·... ;;' .. ~1 ).F. IIDiiGAII .....;- ~.~ ~~ .~ 7~.' ['-,. ;-' ..•~,_ .,.. 13) . Payne Stewart An American Role Model Golfwill never be the same without him BY R. COUN PAINTER the award check in the amount of intense. He also won three major match against Britain's Cohn $108,000 to the"hospital where his father championships, including the 1989 PGA Montgomerie. Even as he was losing, HE RECENT DEATH OF died: the hospital used the money to build Tour Championship, and the 1991 and Stewart was gracious enough to pat golf legend Payne Stewart left his its first Circle of Friends, a place for 1999 U.S. Opens. He also had eleven PGA "Monty" on the back, and asked if he'd T family, friends, and millions of relatives of patients"to stay and comfort Tour tides, and was on five Ryder Cup like him to say a few curt words to the fans stunned, As the victims of apparently their loved ones. teams, in 'R7 , '89, '91, '93, and '99. Also, rude American crowd heckling the poor faulry machinery aboard a chartered jet, As a golfer, Stewarr was one of the he won three consecutive Skins Games, Brit. Mongomerie declined, but Stewart Stewart and several others, including Jack most memorable and distinctive players in 1991-1 993. showed his true colors, and was a prime Nicklaus's course designer, lost ever to walk the links. He was a The 1999 Ryder Cup was Payne ambassador for the U.S, consciousness when the cabin lost air traditionalist, both for his insistence on Stewart's last hurrah, It had been six years Payne Stewart was a good man - a pressure. While the jet continued to fly wearing knickers, as well as his since his last Ryder Cup team, back in real American role model. Unlike many unmanned, several Air Force jets were old-fashioned and '9~, and Stewart had shown a lot athletes, who are only concerned about dispatched to investigate why the plane courteous attitude of interest in playing on the money, portfolios, and endorsements, stopped responding to radio messages, but toward all his team again. With Ben Stewart did not care what people thought they could do nothing to help, Stewart's opponents. He Crenshaw as captain and of him. After all, he wore knickers, plane eventually ran ou t of fuel and crashed stood up for his players like Tiger which have long since gone out of in a South Dakota field. friend Colin Woods, David fashion, even in golf. He gave huge gifts It was a tragic and senseless death of Montgomerie Duvall, Justin of his prize money to various charities, a great golfer, a loving father, and a heroic during the 1999 Leonard on the including hospitals, churches, and man. Stewart left behind a beautiful wife, Ryder Cup, when team, it was rather children's clinics, and was a devoted and Tracey, as well as their two children, the American surprising at first caring husband and father. He had class Chelsea, 13 and Aaron, 10, As a resident crowd began to when the and always showed respect for his of Orlando, Flori4a. Stewart was very heckle the stately Europeans began opponents. It is fitting that he won the involved in the lives . of his family and British player. to horribly U,S. Open and the Ryder Cup one last friends and was a great benefactor to the And he was a trounce the time before his death, and how community, He voluJ}t.eer~d ¥ .the uDlpire very gracious loser to Ue Janzen during US. And here, Stewart shone. He played meaningful each of those games was to for a local Little u~ team and donated the 1998 Olympics - he never cursed his best, shrugged off bad putts, and kept him. What he never knew was how much equipment to the city's minority golf or lost his temper. going. Known for being polite, old more he meant to the game of Golf. He program. Payne Stewart was one of the finest tashioned, and ~ather stoic, Stewert never will be sorely missed. Mt Payne Stewart made many charitable golfers of all time. His amazing 20-foot let a bad game get under his skin. contribu tions during: ws lifetime. Last purt for par on the nnd hole of the 1999 A lot of players crack~d under the R Colin Painter is managing editor of month he gave a gift of $500,000 to his U.S. Open was the longest ever made to stress of the Ryder Cup: Phil Mickelson the Michigan Review and a junior family's church, ~e First B;tptist Church win on the final hole. According to Golf missed two easy 5-foot putts on the 16th majoring in political science and history. of Orlando. After his father's death in World rankings, it is considered the 5th and 18th holes during play against 1987, Stewart won the Bay Hill Classic most dramatic putt in the 20th century, Europeans Sergio Garcia and Jesper golf tournament. He immediately handed and cettainly the stress must have been Parnevik. Ultimately, Stewart lost his last Veterans Continued from Page 10 tary policy. The president would never lis ten to a group of pinko college kids over the Joint Chiefs of Staff. And while U.S. citizens are staging teach.ins and student strikes, some poor schmuck still has to go fight the war - only now he or she will know that his people are not behind him, Does that help him? Will calling him a Nutritioll , ArtlmtltilerttPIJ baby killer magically make the enemy stop shooting? No. Protesting only makes it ·~Healthy Body, Sound Mind, Wise Spirit" harder for those that are risking their lives. This Veterans Day, instead of going "Ann Arbor's Retreat for Natural Healing" to the mall , go spend some time with the folks at the VA hospital next to North Cam * NEW ADDITIONS * pus. Our nation's veterans were willing to Music Listening Station STUDENT SPECIALS risk their lives, and perhaps commit the morally questionable act of taking another World - New Age - Meditationa/ 10 % OFF human's life, all for their country. For that, Fall Collection of Waterfalls we all owe them immense respect and Copper/eat & Lavarock 340 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104 gratitude. Mt New Athletic Supplements www.natheaI1.com Ph 734 214-5888 Fax 734 214-5889 James Yeh is nlltionrzi-·ajfoirs editor of the Review and aju'it i6ri'fLSA~ , . ~ I!' Album By WILLIAM WETMORE Little One," 1 became immediately en tranced in Luna's signatu re lush UNA, AMERICA'S LEAST wandering guitars, supple drumbeats and heard-of great band, returns this subtle, emotionally clever lyrics. The L month with their fifth LP release, album threatens to stumble into The Days of Our Nights. After slightly melodrama with its next three only disappointing this long time devotee with modestly amusing offerings, but recovers 1997's distortion-riddled Pup Tent, which triumphantly with "Superfreaky sounded. more like a shivering Beck Memories" and glides resolutely towards knock-off than the gentle tidings of Luna, its wonderful crescendo, a cover of G 'N it is with great relief that I may announce R's "Sweet Child 0' Mille." Although I the renaissance of this most pleasant and preferred Serge Gainsbourg's "Botlnie and deliciously undergrou nd force in Clyde" as the choice of cover on Luna's American pop. 1995 release Penthouse, "Sweet Child 0' luna No longer on the major label Electra, Mine" lends· a needed dimension to The til!? it seems that with this new release on Days ofOur Nights, Luna transforming, thi~; fericho Records, Luna faces an important Glam-metal standard into a warp1.. . almost choice of artistic direction. They could emotionally genuine soft ballad. Also along have either continued with the the way is the delightful standout "Math nauseatingly nineties sound of their last Wiz," the funky shuilling "The Rustler," record - which received profoundly less and "The Slow Song," sung in German jubilation during the shows of their last If you enjoy this album, Luna's earlier tour - or return to the elements that releases are more than recommended. made them a calming, authentic sonic They are classics. "Bonnie and Clyde" with his German in alternative in the middle of this decade. The band was originally called Lurur, likely the band's strongest effort, features "The Slow Song." Nothin' beats that. Fortunately, for most of The Days of Our and their first and only release under this some of the most pacifyingly gorgeous Overall, The Days of Our Nights does Nights, the latter is lusciously true. preliminary name was 1992's Lunapark. guitar hooks of the decade, several tracks not quite measure-up to Luna's exquisite The album opens with the first single, This first record is an excellent transition being sampled for chic Calvin Klein ads first three albums, but is a welcome "Dear Diary," a mid-tempo and somewhat from singer and guitarist Dean Wareham's just a few years back. Penthouse, Luna's addition to a catalogue that desperately tediously repetitive although reasonably earlier work with the influentia1late-80's third album, is their most searching and deserves wider public recognition. ~ catchy pop number that left me skeptical. band Galaxie 500, and a perfect overture relaxing, and with the new release one can However, with the second track, "Hello, to Luna's unique style. 1994's Bewitched, even compare Dean Wareham's French in BY WILLIAM WETMORE AND DANIEL KEEBLER AND MILO CROGER Stags Leap !';,Shenandoah Vinyard Supreme Chalupa Baja Chalupa >'~., . Merlot Zinfandel Taco Bell Taco Bell 1996 - Napa 1997 - Amador County 1999 - Irvine, CA 1999 - Irvine, CA The plum of the cork dominates like Cocoa bulldozes the nose - a preface A limpid corona screams, "jCuidado The rugose canyons of the casing greet the patriarchy of old. The color, a Cardinal to the calm acquiescence of winter. Grape - Piso Mojado!" and invites the taster the taster like a sinister omen. As the in red, warm, inviting. A nose with and blackberry plead for attention, but in to lose himself in uberkdse and take a fly Cisors dig into the bosom, the tongue consistent plum, a milk chocolate presence a blind test, this nose would be nearly ing leap into absurdity. The hyper-fried writhes in hearty filling, yet finds itself and hints of Anise, maple and impossible to distinguish from Swiss Miss. casing rewards like a long-anticipated and groping through a soul-starved vacuum. strawberries. A reeling attack - shivering Ahhh, but the attack - joyful cherry and painful orgasm. The bovine clashing with How does one taste a paradox? One bite but manageable. Elegant, velvety evolution strawberry intermingle with the passion the botanical - pure ecstasy! The a'Wak~ at a time, my friend, one bite at a time. revolving continuously between sturdy of reunited love, the evolution gliding the ening from dogmatic slumber begins. The lingering bouquet of efficient spices plum and casual strawberries mediated by spirit back, back to our peaceful {;oc<;>a GnomIC ramblings of tomato dominate harks to the Baja's rOOts in revolutionary raspberries, finishing with the expected nook. The finish rears more chocolate, feckless gobs of sour cream 'in a vain at Chiapas. Commandante Marcos would charm of Baker's chocolate. long, respectful, grace. Sound value. Trllly tempt to euchre the taste buds. The Su herald the bafflingly stark, Bauhaus body Still very young. Excellent with a Revel Zinfandel! Pear accompanies preme is only to be experienced with an that confronts one like a paranoid vision Stilton and artichokes. We're calling our further excursion, healthy, clean and Ionesco play (the Bald Soprano notwith of the future yet would probably scoff at coffeehouse friends to see which jazz refreshed. Remove your jacket, loosen standing) under the hum of fluorescent the vulgar pomp and circumstance of the artist to pair with this. Serve at 64.5 F, that tie, this is America at its most iighting, Coltrane reverberating in the robust salsa. To. be eaten anytime seated 65 degrees under a cold front. Not reasonable. Not recommended for the background. Certainly not for those who on the Diag grass, sipping a demitasse of recommended for two-fisted, hard third runner-up at the Drag Show. Mt still consider irony fashionable. ~ ooIong'tea and discussing the ontology of drinkin', Pete bumin' Irishmen. ~ "rralpol{hk with your hip, Maoist friends. ••~ ••'.~ .'~ ...... ""."'~4' .'.,~,.:... lIo'.· .. '_ .. '.'.' ...... >"*r·,,";-~' .. I .. .. Not for forty year-old GSIs. Mt ..... ,... ~.".,...... ~_".~~,,_ . 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