Arrows Well Represented at Harvard Model Congress Each Year by History Teacher Steve Thomasy Commented That Harvard by COLE ALDRICH ‘17 Thomasy

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Vol. LXVI, No. 5 St. Sebastian’s School March 2013 Arrows Well Represented at Harvard Model Congress each year by History teacher Steve Thomasy commented that Harvard By COLE ALDRICH ‘17 Thomasy. This year’s program was Model Congress has operated for 27 and CHRIS POTVIN ‘15 held at the Sheraton Hotel in Boston years. There are similar programs that from February 21st to 24th . Over are run by other universities around Harvard Model Congress was founded the years, Mr. Thomasy noted that the the country including Yale, Princ- in 1986, and acts as an educational number of participants from St. Sebas- eton and the University of Chicago. non-profit organization. The program tian’s has ranged between 4 and 12 stu- Our final question for Mr. Thomasy is the closest thing high-school students. This year there were 12 asked to was whether he felt this year was a dents can participate in to actual Con- attend, 8 seniors and 4 juniors: Bren- good experience for the St. Sebastian’s gress. It’s completely run by Harvard dan Daly, Matt Donovan, Mike Haley, participants. He believed that it was a students, and it takes place in Boston Kevin Looney, Ike Okwerekwu, Mike big success because the group learned and in San Francisco. It has been so Petro, Chris Riley, Conor Thomson, a tremendous amount, performed re- successful that two sister programs Caleb Aldrich, John Bartlett, Niko ally well and had a good time. This have been formed: Harvard Model Fischer and Shane McDonald. In our assessment was resoundingly con- Congress Europe, and Harvard Model interview with Mr. Thomasy, he point- firmed by our interviews of several of Congress Asia. The program has stu- ed out many of the great attributes of the participants. One of our interview- dents assume the roles of real con- the Harvard Model Congress program. ees, senior Mike Haley summed up the gressmen, senators, and various other One benefit of the program is that it experience well by stating, “I enjoyed participants in the government of our gives students a sense of what a future being with other St. Sebastian’s guys Matt Donovan ‘13 worries, aghast at the sheer quantity of beans contained within his paws. country. Along with playing roles of college experience might be like. The and learned a lot about government our government representatives, stu- students stay several days in Boston while having fun and meeting new dents can participate in other programs with hundreds of other students from people.” Chris Riley, who played like HMC Media, the National Secu- all over the country. Each partici- the role of Connecticut representative National Foreign Languages rity Council, the District and Supreme pant in the program meets lots of new Roger Sherman in 1787 commented, Courts, and being lobbyists, teaching people as students are assigned their “I got to rewrite the Constitution and students that other parts of the gov- respective roles to play in the simula- picked fights with Ben Franklin.” Week Brings Cultural Awareness ernment besides senators and the con- tion of the United States government. Chris really enjoyed the experience gress are important to our country. It were from one another. Values, prin- Spanish or foreign language is un- As Mr. Thomasy pointed out, “it really and hopes to be working on the Har- ciples, and ideals vary from country known, but I was certainly entertained. really helps high-school students learn requires people to work well together vard Model Congress when he attends By DANIEL FULHAM ‘14 firsthand how the government func- to country, and he learned how to Several students discussed and to learn to be flexible in how they Harvard next year. Everyone we inter- navigate the divide through language. their favorite part of the week with me. tions on a daily basis. Students par- approach problems with groups of viewed emphasized that they worked March 3rd marked the “To understand a language is “It’s a great time because we ticipate in debates, caucuses, trials, people.” He also noted that “it truly hard, learned a lot and had a great time. start of National Foreign Languag- to understand a culture,” said Bonkers. get to experience different cultures, press conferences, and testimonies. teaches the students the mechanics That sounds like a big success to us. es Week at St. Sebastian’s, a time Now fluent in over five dialects, Mr. and we learn about other parts of the An group from St. Sebastian’s is led of how our government works.” Mr. when the International Club works Bonkers is able to work effectively, world,” remarked Jake Levy, a veteran to expose the St. Sebastian’s com- fighting poverty in chaotic countries. member of International Club. “I had to munity to various cultures around His address elucidated why St. Se- make a diorama, though. It was awful.” the globe. From selling foreign pas- bastian’s has a Foreign Languages Another International Club try in Ward Hall to inviting eloquent Week. Without understanding other member, Jake McCarthy, thinks the speakers to corporate chapel, Inter- cultures, our community cannot aspire food variety is the best part of the national Club enlightens our school. to the ideals set forth in our mission. week. “I enjoyed the peanut but- On Monday, Lane Bunkers National Foreign Language ter and jelly this week. But the en- kicked off the week, highlighting the week also gives St. Sebastian’s several chiladas were pretty good too.” importance of understanding different humorous activities to take part in. “Miles Hunter didn’t peoples. Throughout his travels around From counting lima beans to answering even know it was Foreign Lan- the world, he realized that language rather obvious trivia questions, trivial- guages Week and would like more was an important barrier to overcome. ity meets importance during the week. advertising for these weeks in the “When I started out at CRS,” Another component of the future,” remarked Miles Hunter. he remarked, “I knew English, and a week is the class projects done by While some students may be bit of Spanish vocabulary from col- each Spanish section. Throughout so caught up in the day to day grind of lege courses.” As Mr. Bonkers went the school, television reviews, diora- schoolwork that they are unable to no- on to work in numerous foreign mas, and other colorful displays line tice the culture National Foreign Lan- countries, he realized how language the hall. A few dioramas, Peter Bre- guages week exposes us to, this week is a necessity for charity work. Cit- slin’s in particular, caught my atten- is without doubt a crucial part of the ing colloquialisms in Ethiopia, Mali, tion. Breslin depicts a swarm of killer St. Sebastian’s year. It has been a great and Eastern Europe, Bonkers re- moths attacking a group of African week, and the school community is al- vealed how different these cultures marathoners. What this has to with ready looking forward to next year’s.

The team looking formidable as it prepares to depart for the Boston HMC conference Winter Play ‘12 Angry Men’: Unintentional Dramedy By Michael Petro ‘13 front row or high risers by a long shot. the back of Ward Hall or up in the As the audience settled in, library, hanging around with friends Senior Editor the cast members of Baby and 12 and visitors, talking and thinking After a full two weeks of Angry Men were busy preparing for about anything but the show. We took delays, the cast and crew of 12 An- the evening’s shows. Before every Baby’s applause from the lounge. gry Men hit Ward Hall, and opened performance that the drama club pres- When the cast finally walked the show on March 1st. As usual, the ents, hooligans are temporarily exiled onto the stage and the lights went up Friday night show was standing room from the lounge (a much greater hard- for the first time, there was no doubt only, packed with parents, faculty ship since the arrival of the ping pong that the performance to follow would members, students, and a whole host table), and the members of the shows be excellent. Although the show had of friends and community members. turn the room into what effectivle had only one complete run through The risers were filled ages amounts to a locker room for theater. before opening night, Kevin Patter- Mike Petro ‘13 employs the full power of his beard against Geoff Wade ‘15 during a rehearsal. before the evening’s performances Costumes are strewn about, there is of- son ‘13 was “confident that the show a lot of energy to it,” and members be expected. It’s fair to assume that As the weekend drew to a began, and many students found them- ten a ridiculous number of water bot- would be a success.” As he confessed of the audience walked away thor- the natural tension of the play would close, the drama club needed to pre- selves seated in the hallway that runs tles (to prevent actors from getting to to me later however, “Of course, it was oughly impressed with the emotional cause the nervous laughter. It didn’t pare itself for the upcoming drama along Ward Hall. Mr. Thomasy wasted dry in the mouth during the show), and my baby, and I was nervous. Just as depth of the actors at St. Sebastian’s. appear to affect the performance festival by delicately removing twenty no time attempting to find seating in everyone is generally nuts. Both casts mother sending her firstborn to college, Some members of the cast and direc- however. I think we turned in one of minutes from the show. After running the flat floored portion of the theater got into costume about twenty min- so stood I in the back of Ward Hall.” torial crew were not so happy about our best performances that night.” the revised show without a single full and made a beeline for his usual spot utes before Baby hit the stage and the Much to Kevin’s happiness, the show. Throughout the perfor- The second night received rehearsal, the drama club pulled out after entering Ward Hall, explain- usual pre-show activities unfolded. . the show went over amazingly. After mance, the crowd fell into laughter a much more appropriate set of reac- three awards at the festival. Marlon ing later, “For the last few shows At showtime, Baby rushed fifty five minutes of emotional drama, at key dramatic moments, unsettling tions, and the many in the cast felt Matthews ’14, Julian Matra ‘13, and I’ve sat on the little window ledge onstage, and the actors in 12 Angry the show received the first of its mul- many of the newer actors that had that the environment encouraged Matt Digan ‘13 were all recognized over on the left side of hall.” He as- Men got into their final preparations. tiple standing ovations. Thayer Wade not trained for comedic response. a slower, more powerful buildup for their outstanding performances sured me that “the angle from there After running lines for a few min- ‘13, playing the elderly juror number Julian Matra ‘13 noted that he “was of tension in the show. It came out in what many festival attendees con- is great” and beats any seating beside utes, most of us actually ended up in nine, noted that the Friday show “had mildly taken aback. though it was to as a much more emotional night. sidered one of the best shows there. NEWS SPORTS DOES NOT APPEAR Moot Court Heats Up! IN PHOTO: Varsity Swimming Finishes 7th p. 5 A Clever Joke from in New England -- p. 8 the Editorial Staff Page 2 THE WALRUS March 2013 Patterson Swings and Misses QUOTES of the Badly on Oscar Predictions By KEVIN PATTERSON ‘13 when they neglected to nominate him award for Best Supporting Actor. for Best Director. Hoping to amend This is his second Oscar for Support- SENIOR EDITOR their previous wrong, The Academy ing Acting, his first coming in 2009 Okay, guys—my predic- presented him with its grandest prize. for another Tarantino film, Inglorious tions were pretty terrible. Two of One prediction that I was correct on Basterds. This category was the most my six predictions was correct, and was the Best Actor category. With his interesting one for me in this year’s MONTH it was in the category of Best Actor, win for playing Abraham Lincoln in race, and, as such, I was disappointed the award for which every critic on Lincoln, Daniel Day-Lewis became that they chose to award it first. While either side of the Mississippi agreed the first actor in history to win three I predicted that Philip Seymour Hoff- “Where can I get chloroform and how long does it would belong to Daniel Day-Lew- Best Actor Awards at the Oscars. He man would take the cake for his work is by the end of the night. The rest won back in 1989 for My Left Foot in The Master, I knew in the back of last?” of my predictions were atrocious. and again in 2007 for There Will Be my mind that this would never happen No, I did not even consider Blood. A little Oscars trivia for you and was just too stubborn to believe it. - Kevin Ginns ‘14 Argo a contender at the time I penned all. That said, he does not deserve Hoffman was, in my opinion, more de- the predecessor to this article, but, this award. The Academy was eager serving of the award, but he lost for the alas, it took home the statuette that to break a record, and, being given same reason that his co-star Joaquin fated day. Since I wrote that article, the opportunity in the name of Daniel Phoenix did—the Academy lost inter- Argo picked up incredible momentum Day-Lewis, they could not vote against est in The Master. Christoph Waltz is “I like [people]. They’re nice, except when they’re in other awards ceremonies. Perhaps it. The real winner should have been an interesting choice, though. This role this was due to the fact that many film Joaquin Phoenix for his performance is very similar to the one for which he not.” critics believed that Ben Affleck, the in The Master. Though this film was won back in 2009, and The Academy director of Argo, should have been largely forgotten by film buffs lead- has chosen not to award such similar - Brian O’ Malley ‘13 a clear nominee in the Best Direc- ing up to the Oscars, it is hard for roles in the past. It’s okay, though, be- tor category. To understand this, it me to forget such a stunning perfor- cause he killed it in Django Unchained. is important to understand the Oscars mance, one that I will consider among Best Supporting Actress went to Anne Nominations process. The members my favorites for some time to come. Hathaway, just as everyone expected. of the Academy are each asked to A close miss—Best Actress went to There was really no hope for anything “I will pay you guys to start favoriting more of my fill out a list of three directors they Jennifer Lawrence and not Jessica else. Interestingly, though, she only would like to be nominated in order. Chastain as I had originally hoped and appears for 18 minutes in Les Misera- tweets. Real money, guys. Cash.” The votes are then tallied, and those believed. I think this was the correct bles, which is only 11% of the movie’s directors with the highest count of decision, but I did not see it coming. total running time, 157 minutes. This is nominations are given the official J-Law was definitely challenged with a ridiculously low count. Just saying. - Matt Digan ‘13 nominations. Often, members of the the role of a psychotic widow, but The Best Director—another prediction Academy choose to cast their votes Academy has rarely chosen such young gone terribly awry. I would have bet for underdog competitors, such as nominees. Jennifer Lawrence is the my life that Steven Spielberg would Nominee Benh Zeitlin, whom they second-youngest actress ever to win win for Lincoln, but Ang Lee ended “I didn’t even know that copying and pasting an feel will not receive many votes from the award, the youngest being Marlee up taking the Oscar for his work on other directors. With such a strategy Matlin in 1986 for Children of a Lesser Life of Pi. I really can’t explain this of nomination, the big-name contend- God. It seemed more reasonable to me at all. It makes no sense to me. Just essay was considered plagiarizing.” ers are often forgotten, as the nomi- that the Academy would elect to award know that I did a quick victory lap nators consider them to be shoo-ins an older winner with, presumably, less around my house when I saw that - Evan Reddick ‘17 and choose not to waste votes on it. time left to win, such as Jessica Chas- Steven Spielberg, one of the most ar- I digress—I believe this is the reason tain. The option of Emanuelle Riva rogant men in Hollywood, did not win. for the momentum that Argo built seemed a little farfetched to me, but So I went a stunning 2 for 6 on Feb- leading up to February 24, the night it was possible. Nevertheless, I am ruary 24. That’s 33.3% percent. I’d of the Oscars. The Academy sought proud to be wrong on this occasion, for be failing right now. If I were get- “Is the Dalai Lama a Catholic?” to continue the season-long celebra- they picked a well-deserving winner. ting paid for this, I’d be fired. I’m tion of Ben Affleck that they inspired Christoph Waltz took home this year’s terrible. So get ready for next year! - Jake Loughborough ‘15

“I’m going to bring in a bowl of pudding to see if my so-called Modern European History ‘Honors’ class can get more questions right.” - Mr. Thomasy, back in 2008

MATCH THAT SENIOR

Director Ben Affleck celebrates after his movie “Argo” is named Best Picture at the Oscars. 1. Knows “about five” One Direction songs by heart. A. Brendan Daly 2. Once owned, and proceeded to eat, his The Walrus family’s pet chicken. B. Matt Vandini A St. Sebastian’s Publication

3. Got kicked out of the Natick Chuck E’ Senior Editors: Mickey Adams ‘13, Peter DeMatteo ‘13, Mike Hoff ‘13, Kevin Pat- Cheese when he was 12. C. Matt Fachetti terson ‘13, Mike Petro ‘13 Apprentice Editors: Dennis Rodman and his bro Kim Jong Un 4. Reads for fun. D. Joe Tamburello Head Writers: Peter Breslin ‘13, Connor Chabot ‘13, Thayer Wade ‘13, Chris Riley ‘13, Julian Matra ‘13 5. No longer attends St. Sebastian’s. E. Anders Slicklen Contributors: Kenny Vallace ‘15, Jack Ragnoni ‘16, Casey Kelly ‘16, Erik Jones ‘16, Jimmy Mitchell ‘15, Jack Adams ‘15, John McManmon ‘16, John Real ‘13, 6. Lists Ellen Degeneres as his favorite day John Ryan ‘15, Tyler Wiik ‘15, Charlie Gordon ‘15, Joe Kerwin ‘15, Ryan Lee time talk-show host. F. Teddy O’ Hara ‘15, Tim Murphy ‘16, Cam Kelly ‘14, Dan Fulham ‘14, Billy McCarthy ‘15, Matt Aisenberg ‘16, Mike Mackintire ‘16, Shane McDonald ‘14, David Korzenio- wski ‘16, Ryan Colgan ‘16, Cole Aldrich ‘16, Chris Potvin ‘16, Will Kenney ‘14, 7. Does not know how many letters are in Anthony McIntyre ‘13, Jimmy Ryan ‘16, Angus O’Rourke ‘15, Scott Westvold his last name. G. Anthony McIntyre ‘15, Jack Goldman ‘14, Will Supple ‘15, Kenny Chen ‘13

8. Was invited to a shindig at Mr. Jenkins’ Editors Emeritus: Peter Cimini ‘12, Sean Frazzette ‘12, Chris Nadeau ‘12, Chris H. Danny Joseph Stadtler ‘12 house in the eighth grade. Faculty Advisor: Mr. Dan Drummond I. Kevin Patterson 9. Once claimed that Ireland was not a part The Walrus is the official student newspaper of St. Sebastian’s School. The Walrus of Europe. seeks to provide news and entertainment for the St. Sebastian’s community, as well as to provide an open forum for students to offer opinions on issues related to world, na- J. Eddie McCarthy tional, and school affairs. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect opin- 10. Has never missed an episode of “Guy ions of the faculty advisors or senior editors of The Walrus or of St. Sebastian’s School. Codes,” which airs on MTV 2. Correspondence to The Walrus should be addressed to The Walrus, c/o St. Sebas- tian’s School, 1191 Greendale Avenue, Needham, MA, 02492. Senior Editors and production staff reserve the right to reject, edit, or admit any or all submissions. To submit an Answers: 1-G, 2-C, 3-I, 4-A, 5-H, 6-F, 7-D, 8-E, 9-J, 10-B article, place it on the Walrus Group dropbox on the St. Sebastian’s website. March 2013 THE WALRUS Page 3 Robotics Team Programmed for Future By JOHN RYAN ‘15 and MOVIES with MATRA TYLER WIIK ‘15 If one were to journey to St. Seb’s in the summer, one would expect to find the football team, the soccer team, and possibly the cross country team in the midst of double By JULIAN MATRA ‘13 sodes long. And while this may feel eryone in fact.” Addressing chang- sessions; but, for the first time ever, brief, it should also be noted that each ing social attitudes and broadcasting one could actually expect to see the HEAD WRITER episode is an hour-and-a-half long. regulations, Cumberbatch's Holmes So really, each “episode” is actually replaced the pipe with multiple nico- St. Sebastian’s Robotics team. Com- A few weeks ago I sat at a movie. As such I’m reviewing six tine patches. The writers believed ing out of the most successful season home with a dilemma on my hands. movies, as opposed to one, for a total that Sherlock should not talk like “a which included a trip to Worlds, the I need to write a movie review, yet of nine hours. Self-exoneration aside, completely modern person,” says Robotics team came into the year with there is nothing worth reviewing. due to each episodes length, the writ- co-creator Steven Moffat, but were high ambitions and lofty goals. Af- It was at this moment that ers are able to deal with each story in initially intent that “he never sounded ter receiving new software from our I remembered a fairly obscure show. more depth and fullness then a typical like he's giving a lecture.” In an in- sponsors at PTC at the end of last year, “Fairly obscure” in the sense that it is show. Yet at the same time, much like terview with The Observer, co-creator gaining a new space in the Science not well known in America. In 2010 the average thirty-minute show, each Mark Gatiss says that they experi- Building, and working over the sum- the British Broadcasting Company After a great year, Robotics could be dominating for a while. episode leaves you wanting more. enced more difficulty finding the mer at the nearby PTC complex, the (BBC) aired a pilot for a show that the Sherlock stars Benedict right actor to play Dr. John Watson Arrows seemed poised for excellence. ro and Julian this year was to “make we needed to work on.” Julian had company had very little faith in. The Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes than they had for the title character. To discover the Robotics team in its sure a Robotics team survived.” And, other thoughts on the aftermath, for idea had been done before, multiple and Martin Freeman as Doctor John Producer Sue Vertue said, “Benedict fullest, one must start with the top, the looking back on the year, it most surely he was pleased, because he “wanted to times, to no avail. The show was sim- Watson. As a side note, both Cumber- was the only person we actually saw student leadership of Michael Petro, has. Petro professed his pleasure with teach, the point was not to do well.” ply called Sherlock. The idea was to batch and Freeman are both starring for [the part of] Sherlock... Once Julian Matra, and Ben Piersiak. The the fact that we “instead of having two The Arrows had only one take some of the classic Conan Doyle in Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy. Fur- Benedict was there it was really just main goal of the leadership was “to kids like last year, we now had thirty. chance left, and, unfortunately, the tales and tell them in the modern day. thermore, Cumberbatch is slated to making sure we got the chemistry for build a lasting Robotics team”, ac- We now had a team where I didn’t chance was not seized. However, The apprehension on the BBC’s part co-star in the upcoming J.J. Abrams John [Watson]—and I think you get cording to Petro. Petro and Julian, have to be in the room telling people the Arrows were one of the top teams came from the recent success of the film, Star Trek: Into Darkness. What it as soon as they come into the room, after their successful run to Worlds, what to do. I could write out a task there, shutting down an offer to be Guy Ritchie film that had been loosely this means for myself and any other you can see that they work together.” were afraid that a Robotics might not and it would eventually be done.” Pet- paired with the best team at the com- based on the Sherlock Holmes stories. Sherlock fan, is that the next season is Fortunately, the work paid off as the even exist. Even with their appear- ro would write out many tasks which petition and instead captaining their However, the pilot was aired with not going to air until early 2014. two are able to produce amazing on ance to the famed World Champion- would get done, ensuring that the team own team. Petro says, “At Andover great success, and the show was re- Piers Wenger, Head of screen chemistry. I honestly cannot ships in St. Louis, the Robotics might actually built a robot for the upcom- was some of the toughest competition. newed for a second season right after Drama at BBC Wales, described the praise the series enough. The writing, not have even come back to even try ing qualifier. Petro and Julian both It was harder than worlds, with some the pilot episode. series' rendering of Sherlock as “a dy- drama, and chemistry of the two leads to defend their title. Petro has “come expressed their thanks to the Board of of the truly best teams in the world. It To be fair the show is not namic superhero in a modern world, serves as the driving force for the to the conclusion that Worlds was the Trustees and Business Office for their was a bloodbath. We made some un- actually a television show in the conan arrogant, genius sleuth driven by a shows success. coolest thing [he] ever did”, for, there, gracious support of allowing them predictable mistakes; we had two pen- ventional American – or even British desire to prove himself cleverer than I suggest the show to any- he saw “thousands of students working to buy many parts with the Robotics alties in one match. Maybe without – sense. Each season (of which there the perpetrator and the police—ev- one, and I grant it nine Matras of ten. on robots 24/7, waking up at 6:30 and teams’ huge budget. With the financial those, we could have qualified.” Julian are currently two) is only three epi- eating, then working till midnight”, as aid of the Trustees and the physical and added in that “every team they didn’t well as some of the nicest people he mental work done by the members, the want to see was there.” Although the has ever seen: “Teams would be angry first qualifier eventually came, held at final chance had slipped through their POLL THE PEOPLE if we broke a part and didn’t ask them Middlesex on a Saturday in January. fingers, Petro and Julian still looked at for a spare.” Petro was amazed at the Petro succinctly describes the year with an optimistic perspective. fact that he was in the Rams stadium, the qualifier: “We weren’t prepared,” Petro kept confirming that he “was Stranded on a desert island, who gives you an NFL stadium, for a Robotics com- with Julian adding “it was a learn- happy that the team actually exists.” petition. Piersiak was astounded by ing experience.” A rather lackluster He, looking back on the year, saw that the awesome exposure to everything, day and performance, the Robotics “they had found good Robotics peo- the best chance of getting off that island? for he saw “Boeing, NASA, CIA, Se- team left Middlesex without qualify- ple, a team structure, and a division cret Service, FBI, Navy, and Air Force ing. Throughout the day, the Arrows of labor, most of which were nonexis- 16 representatives”, listing a few of the suffered many unlucky happenings, tent in years prior.” Julian discovered myriad of well-known participants. such as electrical malfunctions. Petro, that “the team will exist and survive.” 14 But, after a year which the Robotics while not making excuses, pointed While the team may have team miraculously made it, the Ro- out the fact that “many of the builders not met the standards placed before botics team of this year, with a much were sick that week.” Petro also ex- them by last year’s team, the Robot- 12 better facility, might not have even pressed his feelings of the aftermath: ics team worked valiantly, and Petro, existed. But it did. And even though “I was worried. We had only one qual- leaving the team as he goes off to 10 it did not make Worlds this year, it ifier left. But I was also happy that college, felt like he has left a last- was a highly successful year for the people found out what a competition ing legacy on future Robotics team: 8 Robotics team, and critically pivotal. was about, and we also found what “We have a Robotics team that does The purpose and goal of Pet- what a Robotics team needs to do.” 6 4 2 0 Mr. Former Both of Celebrity A Real Life President Jillian Morelli Pope the "2 Chef Guy Pablo Cole Eden Michaels Benedct Broke Fieri Sanchez '13 from "The XVI Girls" Biggest Loser" Chabot Op-Eds Into March Break don’t have time to direct. Do you think body is doing a band and didn’t ask Upcoming Events of Importance By CONNOR CHABOT Nicholas Cage or Brendan Frasier has me to drum. I can wreck a solo, best ‘13 HEAD WRITER time to direct movies and be the best you’ve seen east of the Mississippi. actors of all time? Absolutely not. I got other people asking me to be in You think you’ve had it Third, the stress build-up is skits, impersonating Andy Milona- tough at school? No. Shut your face. off the charts, and there’s no way to kis, Danny Devito, Carl from Jimmy I’m upset to say the least. There are a get rid of it. Chess got older than the Neutron, and more. The judging fi- lot of great things about Sebs, but as Harlem Shake. Everybody seems to asco is making me mad too. I thought of late somebody seems to infuriate break the best chairs in the school. Ap- the guest judges were Slash and my me like every ten minutes. Enough is parently eating pizza in the bathroom hero Aly Raismann. I guess not. enough. I need to escape Sebs for a is frowned upon in this establish- I need people to stop talk- little bit. I need time off like it’s go- ment. Don’t get me started with Ping- ing about what I gave up for Lent. I ing out of style. Here are a few of Pong. Scratch that, I’ll get started. gave up soda, deep-fried food, des- the things I’ve had to put up with. Can we figure it out with the sert, and chips. Yeah, it’s a lot. I’m Don’t get me wrong, I’ve Ping-Pong? Have you no integrity? not dieting though. I crush Chipo- had some good times recently too. I Don’t break anything. Don’t touch the tle many nights a week. I know I clocked Joe O’Malley directly in the net. Don’t throw the paddle at the wall could stand to lose one, two, maybe face in our 1v1 dodgeball matchup. in front of your friends in a sad attempt forty pounds, but every entourage My unreal team won the tourna- to be funny. And don’t be a loser and needs the chubby awesome guy. ment, with the help of a shooting do double sessions for Ping-Pong so Stop hating on me for what I do in the sleeve and heavy steroid use. Senior you can school everybody else and athletic building. I know what you’re slide is the best. But the problems ruin the game entirely. Ike Chukwu thinking: “Football legend coming off far outweigh these good things. So has it right when he says that we need the Bricksquad season of champion- I’ll let you know what needs to stop. to calm down with Ping-Pong. I know ship, why is he doing the Stairmas- First off, the work. Bro, it’s you want to prove your masculin- ter?”. Cuz I want to. Also, we need an March. I’ve been at this like a dog ity, but winning a Ping-Pong match outside basketball court. I have to wait since September. Homework or class- isn’t the coolest thing in the world. to play pickup basketball and nobody es should be banned for a week. Every Nothing works at home ei- understands seniority anymore. What day, one class a day seems to be full ther to relieve the stress. I’ve tried is that? Those of you who do play, stop hardooo. Chill. I’ll learn eventually. playing Run n’ Gun and Slime Soccer calling offensive fouls. Yeah, I drained Second, stop asking me for fa- at home, but it’s just not the same. My a three all over your face, no need to vors. Especially transportation. It’s like mom screws up dinner every night. I’m deprive me of my points. Ball don’t lie. Driving Miss Daisy, and you guys are convinced she calls the school, asks I could forgive all of this if Miss Daisy. “Do you want to drive us what’s for lunch, and cooks that meal we had a snow day every once in a to McDonalds or Chipotle?”. Yeah bro, for dinner. I’ve had more Rattlesnake while. By the way, those still do ex- I totally want to do that. I don’t want to pasta than you could imagine. I have to ist. I’m writing this March 6, day do anything. I sometimes do stuff be- do laundry, which is the worst inven- before a snowstorm, but I know cause I have to, but I certainly don’t do tion of mankind. I’ve lost any and all we’ll have school already. I’m an stuff when I get absolutely nothing out control of the television. My mom has awful driver and can’t be riskin’ of it. “Dude, I’ll pay though”. No you to watch her Modern Family and news, the biscuit to get to school. Marlon won’t. And giving me seven bucks for and my dad has to watch his 2 Broke Matthews told me he saw his life something that cost $7.89 before tax Girls, Mike & Molly, and the news. If flash before his eyes when his car doesn’t make me want to get you food. you think I should read a book, stop rolled over. This is too dangerous. No, I’m not getting a Vine. reading this article. You aren’t worth So this stuff needs to I’m gunning for a best supporting ac- my time…and I’m not a great reader. stop and I need a break. Love the tor performance in Vine videos, and I What’s the deal with the Sebs fam, but we need some time talent show? I find out that every- apart. Exactly two weeks apart. Page 4 THE WALRUS March 2013 A New Way to Do College?

By PETER BRESLIN ‘13 Coursera’s goal is to offer courses to technology to provide grades and HEAD WRITER everyone including people in third- feedback to students about their work. world countries who may never be One of the co-founders of Coursera, As crazy as this might sound in the able to come to the United States Daphne Koller, quotes Mark Twain midst of the college placement pro- to take courses, people who could who is credited as describing that the cess, anyone around the world can never afford to take courses, people traditional college lecture format is not take the top level courses from the who want to be lifelong learners like the best way for students to learn at best schools free and receive grades retirees, and even high schoolers universities, “College is a place where and certificates online thanks to a like us, who might want to try out a a professor’s lecture notes go straight program called Coursera initiated by course or two to see what we would to the students’ lecture notes, without Stanford University. Courses include like to pursue in college. The pro- passing through the brains of either.” biology, physics, computer science, gram has taken down barriers around engineering, medicine, literature, so- the world and Coursera has stories Coursera is a great example of do- ciology, poetry, business and more. about people who earned better jobs ing something good for the world More than 1.4 million students from because of their Coursera certificates. while providing an opportunity to re- around the world have enrolled in search and improve a process that has these courses as of September of 2012. Another interesting fact about this been accepted as the norm for years. program is that the founders are us- They believe education is a basic Founded in April of 2012, a program ing the information they gain from of- human right and it should be avail- The Patriots have resigned Tom Brady, but what will the rest of his supporting cast look like? called Coursera started at Stanford fering these courses to research how able to expand our minds to change hosts 200 free courses from 33 of the people learn and about education in our lives. They also believe that in- world’s best universities including general. Based on their research, they novation will expand by educat- Princeton, Stanford, Penn, Michigan, are chopping up the courses into short ing more of the world’s population. Patriots’ Offseason Heats Up Caltech, Duke, Illinois, Washington, lectures and providing tests that can be Brown, Hong Kong University of auto-graded to cover each new idea. There are other programs doing simi- Regarding the Patriots other in 2011, but that was mostly because Science and Technology, Columbia, By MICHAEL HOFF ‘13 It operates on an honor system and lar things with education like the one premier FA wide receiver, Wes Welker it was historically bad in 2011, so it Berklee College of Music, and oth- has built in tools to reduce cheating. started by MIT, Harvard and a group SENIOR EDITOR is probably coming back, even if he had to be better last year, simply by ers. Enrollments are from Russia, of companies called Udacity. Experts hasn’t reached I deal when I wrote regression, or else the whole town of India, Brazil, Iran, the United States, The Patriots aren’t get- This program and others like it are believe that within the next 5 years these very words. He is 31 and he is Foxboro would have been sucked into England and many other countries. ting Mike Wallace, Charles Wood- revolutionizing the way people take this will be a huge industry. Watch small obviously, but he is still awe- a black hole of way-too-big cushions Considering that college costs are out son, or Ed Reed. They might not courses online, engage with new mate- one of the Coursera co-founders some, and the Patriots know that. and blown coverages (RIP McIntyre). of reach for most of the people in the even resign Aqib Talib. If they even rial, and receive feedback and grades. explain the details of this amazing And everyone who tosses him aside The pass rush was better in 2012, with world rising over 559% since 1985, sign two of those players I will eat Imagine a professor grading 100,000 program at http://on.ted.com/Koller as a ‘system player’ can go follow jai the Pats totaling their highest number this program is revolutionizing access this article dipped in salsa while rd quizzes? Coursera has established a or go to www.coursera.org and se- alai. ‘System players’ don’t catch 118 of 3 Down sacks in the last decade, to high quality education and possibly Ike Chukwu watches in delight. way to use peer grading and online lect a course that you might like. balls in the best offense in the NFL. mostly thanks to Chandler Jones and changing the way the world learns. If you threw Danny Amendola or Ju- eternal surprise Rob Ninkovich. An- Over here in the realm of lian Edelman or some other white other reason for the improved pass D possibility is what might actually hap- slot receiver from central casting this past year was a notable lack of pen. I would talk about the long-term into Welker’s role, you aren’t getting James Ighedibo and Patrick Chung, pressing need for a defensive tackle, even similar production than Welker, the former of whom gracefully left but I like people to read what I write, even at his current age. And I’m not and the latter of whom was hurt most so I’ll start at wide receiver. There are sure what system these people think of the time again and who didn’t cover reports that Brandon Lloyd may not be the Patriots run, because it seems the that well when he was healthy and will back because the Patriots became dis- people who subscribe to the ‘system certainly leave for other pastures in enchanted with his probably bi-polar player’ critique of Welker think the free agency. Replacing both them at personality. He’s also about to be 32 Patriots run the Wildcat every play safety was Steve Gregory and Devin th and is on his 6 different team for a and that Welker is a shorter Pat White McCourty, neither of whom was espe- reason. All of that would be well and or something. All those options routes cially outstanding but were competent, good except that if the Patriots tried over the middle that runs that get all which was a big step up from mess- to line up at receiver right now with- those 3rd downs? Every team runs ers Chung and Ighedibo. Of course, out Lloyd, they wouldn’t, because those. Like every team. If you go un- the two main reasons why the pass they couldn’t. Obviously Welker is a der ‘shotgun’ in any team’s Madden defense improved was the emergence free agent, but so is Julian Edelman. playbook, those sorts of routes are in of 7th rounder Alfonzo Dennard and And I love few things more than De- basically every other play. So if every- the mid-season acquisition of Aqib ion Branch comeback routes, but I’m body runs these, why does Welker get Talib. With those two manning the pretty sure that Vince Wilfork could open so much? He’s just way better outside, that allowed Kyle Arrington get more separation at this point. And at it than everybody else, and now he to kick inside to slot corner—where Brady’s patience for developing young wants to be paid like it. Also, spare me he is much better—and allowed Mc- receivers is none—as evidenced by the the ‘well, he has Tom Brady throwing Courty to move to safety full time. grand Taylor Price Experiment—so I to him’ argument. For one, his tele- But Talib is set to be a free agent, and wouldn’t expect a draft influx at that pathic connection with TB12 is part of while the Patriots reportedly want him spot. And Chad Ochocinco’s robust what makes him so valuable. But also, back, Talib will probably demand a 15 catches demonstrated how success- should we wipe Randy Moss’ 23 TD pretty pretty penny (no pun intended ful getting a free agent receiver who record in 2007 from the books because but intended), because even with his Mike Petro ‘13, the bearded menace himself, demanded that this appear, typo and all. Huh. may not be able to grasp the offense he had Tom Brady throwing to him? issues, quality corners in their prime can be. I’m pretty sure Lloyd had like Why don’t we mention that Gronk and don’t hit free agency very often. Den- nd 15 catches in the 2 half of the 49ers Hernandez have Tom Brady throw- nard also was recently convicted of game alone. So unless Belichick sees ing to them every time their names hitting a cop, so his status for the sea- MARCH SADDNESS: A FUN the ‘Matt Slater and the 4 Tight Ends are mentioned? When will I stop ask- son is uncertain. So unless the ghost Offense’ as the new offensive revolu- ing questions to nobody? Anyway, all of Ras-I Dowling ever comes to life, tion, I don’t see why Lloyd wouldn’t that matters is that the Patriots know the defensive backfield is definitely an be back, even if he is weirder than how good Welker is, and they know area that the Pats will focus on this off- TIME WAS HAD BY ALL seeing Mr. Thomasy at the RNC. But better than anyone, which means season. Of course, Darelle Revis and hey, Patriot Place still would have that Welker will probably be back. Richard Sherman wouldn’t be able to been built if I didn’t exist, and you would surely break the spirits of their SADD urge you to sign up next year. solve the Pats profoundly abhorrent is- can’t say the same about The Hoodie, The other obvious thing that opponents. Unfortunately for the It is a great time between seasons, sues covering tight ends and running so if Lloyd isn’t back I will fall duti- the Patriots have to address this off- By CHRIS RILEY ‘13 older students and fortunately for the you get to play some sports with some backs, so here’s to Dont’a Hightower fully in line and won’t question Him. season is the pass defense. The pass younger ones, Peter Mullin rallied buddies, and you might just win a and Brandon Spikes finding some of and JOHN REAL ‘13 defense was actually a lot better than his team back with solid defense and pretty sweet surprise. that deer antler spray before August. HEAD WRITERS a fierce, slap shot goal. The battle was well fought for the rest of the matchup, but in OT Mullin stole the The SADD (Students puck form Haley and passed to a Against Destructive Decisions) teammate who rammed the puck in THE Chapter again hit a homerun (scored a past a valiant Moran in goal. winning goal? Drained a 3-pointer?) The larger basketball with their annual inter-season 4 on tournament was equally entertain- 4 floor hockey and 3 on 3 basketball ing, just a physically impressive, and tournament. In addition to raising most certainly sweatier (that means student awareness about the risks two things). In the end, the team of RARE QUESTIONNAIRE associated with drinking, drug use, Jordan Brydie, Malcolm Osazuwa, and other unsafe behavior, SADD can and Sunny Huang came out on top, What Should have Who will you be Where will you Dream Pet? Shout out to the host a mean tournament. largely due to their stellar defense won Best Picture? spending break be hanging out community For both the floor hockey and awe-inspiring perimeter shooting. Grade and the basketball team, students Senior team and favorites (by a wide with? with them? signed up their teams beforehand, and margin) for fourth place Boys On 7: Michael The Hobbit My Family My house.... Hefalump Don’t get kid- each team was limited to one varsity Top, comprised of Brian O’Malley, napped by that player. Five teams competed in the Anthony McIntyre, and Mickey Twohig kid (He points Adams were disappointed with the floor hockey tournament and eight in to Locurto ‘16) the basketball tournament. Competi- outcome, but could not be happier tion was fierce and emotions ran high: with the spirit displayed not only by their team but by all eight teams in Junior class SADD Representative Django Unchained My family Nueva York A Dragon Hello. Jay Daukas called it “breathtakingly the tournament (and I am sure that 8: Will Evans intense.” Expanding on that, Daukas they would extend those sentiments said “the small gym was abuzz. It to the hockey players as well, if only was totally the place you wanted to they could have seen them play. “We be after school that week with an iced poured out hearts out on the court,” 9: Ian Kelly What’s a funny an- Family Florida Griffin Stay gucci! ;) coffee and a snack from Dunks” At said O’Malley, who one the ISL swer to that? the end of the tournament though, Sportsmanship Award for his play. brotherhood reigned. Chris Haley ’19 “Could not be more proud of us. Just a few guys grinding. Absolutely. said after his team lost in the final that I liked Lincoln My family... Norwell Lots of bees Wear more Nothing we can do about that,” added 10: Mac Morris he “wouldn’t want to lose to anyone vests, or some- else. If those guys bring that intensity McIntyre, referencing the tough com- to the disk pitch this spring, we’ll be a petition. Added Adams, “We became thing like that like brothers out there.” varsity sport in no time.” Movies are too main- No one. I’ll be Goldman’s Penguin I could have just Hockey ended in spectacu- When all is said and done, 11: Jack Gold- lar fashion, with a freshman team March SADDness 2013 was a huge steam for me. locked in Gold- cave.... said Jennifer headed by Peter Mullin overcoming success. It may not have happened in man man’s Cave Lawrence is... a mixed-age squad of Chris Haley, March and the fan section might have No wait, I take it Tucker “@tuggahh” McLoughlin, been emptier than a Spanish movie in back. Brennon Coakley, and Mikey “don’t the McCulloch Room for which Mr. say it…” Moran in OT. When asked Moore didn’t provide any snacks, but 12: Kevin Pat- Silver Linings Play- Mr. Stefan Cressotti On his sofa, Human-sized No. if he thought their team was a bit blood was shed, goals scored, layups book...or the Oo- watching Lion koala bear with like the Chicago Blackhawks, Moran laid, and dreams accomplished. To terson gieLoves King with him the ability to asked who that was and McLoughlin those who competed: thanks. To and Felix. fly said, “We lost…so nah. Not really.” those who conquered: you will be The game, though, was fast paced remembered forever for your valiant Teacher: Wreck-It Ralph My new eyes, after In my basement An eel Beware the Ides and hard fought. McLoughlin and play and we are working on getting laser surgery of March Coakley had dreamlike goals for the your pictures added to the collage in older team, with both taking between Arrows Hall. To all those who did Mr. Drummond the legs shots early that I thought not compete: We at the Walrus and in March 2013 THE WALRUS Page 5 “The Bachelor” Tugs on America’s Heartstrings Sebs: Trending Too Hard? By RYAN LEE ‘15 In one of the hardest television mo- By JACK GOLDMAN ‘14 aggressive. The last thing you want is with one that was too small and you ments to swallow, Sean Lowe was for the ever-intimidating Dan Fulham started asphyxiating so you had to rip left by Emily, the Bachelorette at the and WILL SUPPLE ‘15 to come up to you and punch you in it. We are busy listening to legendary time, for a man not nearly as impres- Listen, we can’t be perfect. St. Sebas- the face because of your red pants. No- Mr. Cressotti announcements, there sive in Jef. Sean again returned and tian’s Country Day School for Young body wants that, so let’s try to be bet- is no reason that they should be inter- has graced us with his presence on the Gentlemen is the greatest institution ter. Another flagrant offender is Luke rupted by your girth ripping through a silver screen, prepared to make another seen since Dick Cheney was running Murphy. On one occasion he wore suit jacket made for an eight year-old. exciting season of the Bachelor. Lowe, the country, but even Cheney wasn’t yellow pants on campus willingly. As Our final trend is the “born-again virgin,” greeted his 25 perfect (see shooting a guy in the face in, he wanted to put on yellow pants. #talkinginhashtags. #Listen #nobody- potential suitors, and the season began. while quail hunting). That’s where we He may be the only person to ever do likeitwhenyoudothis. #Itsreallyan- Right off the bat, the season opened come in: someone needs to point out this. Let’s stop this before it becomes noying. #See #youreannoyed. Plus, the way nearly every season does, with where we’ve gone wrong, and now, an epidemic and we all become in- you’re literally stabbing every English an outrageous amount of jealousy and all those moments will be revealed. fected with Yellow Pants. Can’t have teacher on the planet when you talk anger between people who have nev- Let’s start with an obvi- that. Other colors that are…out of or write with a number sign in front er met. This season, we were graced ous one: The use of the word Hardo. bounds: green, neon green, forest of all your words. In a similar story with the presence of Tierra, a woman Hey guys? It’s annoying. Like annoy- green, lime green, banana green, pea to the blazers, the self-respect factor who does not have the word “cordial” ing on the same level of early-Justin green, grass green, shamrock green, should play a part here. Hashtags are in her vocabulary. Each week, shout- Bieber fans. It’s excessive, and no- field green, vegetable green, -magen for twitter. #Realtalk? #StayClassy. ing would echo through the house Sean Lowe is looking for love again on ABC’s “The Bachelor” ta, teal, turquoise, purple, baby blue, In summation, our school body wants to hear about hardos that as Tierra laid her path of terror. She there for the point of the show. When sky blue, sea blue, blue, indigo, vio- is filled with scholarly gentlemen single question of “why do you want often. When someone hands in their went home in week seven, however, the show gets down to the final weeks, let, cerulean, ominous gray, slightly of high esteem and proper origin, so to be on the Bachelor?” I feel like if homework on time and you call him created a more peaceful, yet less hu- the real anticipation is not really about less ominous gray, orange, mustard there’s no reason we should be man- you just wrote something outrageous a hardo, we’ve reached a point of no morous aspect of the show. The Sea- who is going to win, but who will star yellow, guacamole green, Walsh. gling the classiness scale by saying and were in moderately good shape, return. Stop it. Enough. It had a good son Finale is fast upon us, between in the next season. If I were to be on Another trend that should hardo (it isn’t a word people), wear- you could be flying first class to LA run, now it’s over. Let it go. Other Catherine and Lindsay, and it is a tos- the show, I would be quite happy com- be ending is blazer stealing. It doesn’t ing flamboyant pants (that’s right, in no time. With this strenuous ap- reasons not to say hardo: Little Ike sup on who will receive the final rose. ing in second, as they next season 25 happen nearly as often anymore, but flamboyant), stealing sport coats, or plication process, a few nut jobs al- said not to, common sense, and ev- Over the years, the Bach- striking females would be vying for it still should be mentioned. Besides, #Droppingknowledge behind a pound ways find their way onto the show, ery time you say it you have to wear elor has become a very entertaining my affection. When you truly think when you walk into corporate cha- symbol. #Simmer. Good luck out there enriching the hilarity of The Bachelor. amber pants to school. Speaking of show to watch. I have never been an about it, the Bachelor is just a large pel and you’ve got on a blazer that gentlemen; we’re all counting on you. Watching the first few episodes of ev- wearing eccentrically colored pants… adamant viewer, as I had to watch the ego boost for the “Bachelor,” as he wouldn’t fit Marty White, it’s incred- Don’t allow these trends to continue to ery season, I find myself becoming Our next trend is wearing ec- entire season online to write this, but is constantly being told how great he ibly obvious that you just stole the permeate our community, there’s no dumber, yet fascinated by the antics centrically colored pants! Tim Difiore never the less, the show always gives is after being dumped a few months blazer. Have some self-respect and room for fools in a school filled with of a bunch of attractive singles run- ’17, is a daily abuser of Nantucket Red me a few laughs. The concept of the earlier by someone only known to wear your own, nobody wants to hear quality blokes, so go out there, and ning around an absurdly large house. garments because “They make me show in general is absolutely astound- him for a few months. Overall, the a blazer ripping in the middle of cor- tell the guy in Barbie pink pants that It is fascinating to think look hot.” Okay Tim, first of all, when ing, as someone is supposed to marry entertainment factor of the Bachelor porate chapel because you snuck in maybe he should consider regular kha- about how many people must apply to people see red, they are naturally more one of twenty-five people who have is not about “finding love,” but rather ki pants. You’ll be doing him a favor. be on the show. Many of the people been chosen by an application liter- who are invited to the mansion seem comes from the shocking realization ally consisting of an information sheet, to be class-A narcissists, as each has that millions of Americans stoop so Celtics Without Spergie a picture, a thirty second video, and a a personal agenda, rather than being low and are enthralled by the show. Moot Court on to Quarterfinals (And 40% of Their Team) By CALEB ALDRICH ‘14 and CAM KELLY ‘14 By JOHN McMANMON ‘17 After many grueling and closely con- Although the Celtics have tested matchups, the 1st round of the struggled to stay above the .500 mark Moot Court Tournament is coming to all season, they cling to the seventh a close. So far the teams of Donovan/ seed in Eastern Conference, hope- O’Hara, Haley/Looney, Digan/Riley, fully avoiding a first round matchup Bartlett/Daukas, Matra/Petro, Aldrich/ against the Miami Heat. The in- Kelly, and Kehoe/Wasynczuk have ad- jury riddled C’s need a late-season vanced to Elite Eight. However, the 8th push in order to finish strong and spot is still to be decided as Ginns/Ke- go deep into the 2013 playoffs. arney will take on Vallace/Westvold. In order to make a run in the Christian Kelly, a member of the Eastern Conference, the Celtics need McGowan/Kelly team that fell after to stay healthy. The loss of Rajon Ron- a hard fought battle in the Sweet 16, do to a partial ACL tear was a huge hit stated “It’s a tough defeat, but I will Is that legendary judge Mr. Cleary? No, it’s Clarence Thomas. to the Celtics offense, since Rondo or- be lifting in the offseason to get stron- ey/Looney. Kevin Looney commented The team of Matra/Petro is looking to chestrates almost all of the ball move- ger.” Unfortunately, as Mr. Cleary that the matchup of “Haley and me reach the Final Four for the third year ment for the team. While other players said, fifteen out of the sixteen teams vs. Donovan and Teddy should be a in a row and ultimately capture the title like Jason Terry, Courtney Lee, and Av- will experience a loss at some level. matchup for the ages. My predictions they have fell just short of the past two ery Bradley will get more playing time Now that everyone’s looking at the for the Moot Court finals are Digan/ Jeff Green and Jason Terry have stepped up for the Celtics. years. As Mike Petro stated, “Julien and shot attempts, the loss of Rondo Elite Eight, wondering who will get Riley vs. Matra/Petro.” Both teams and I are looking to win it. We’ve been was a huge hit. However, Jason Terry team. However, he has failed to do so these key boards, as second chances over the hump to the Final Four. The are experienced and definitely hungry pretty close the past two years and in particular has stepped up his game this season. After averaging 12.5 PPG down the stretch of games for the ag- eyes of many must be focused on the for a shot of the title. Meanwhile, an- are looking to bring home the title.” and filled the shoes of Rondo. Terry last season, Bass is scoring only 7.7 ing team could be the difference in senior favorites to take the tournament. other senior team favored to win the As the first round of Moot Court comes recently broke the 10 Points Per Game this season, a significant drop. Bass is big games. The age of the team is However, there certainly will not tournament, that of Digan/Riley await to a close, it looks like the second round mark, making him the 5th player on starting to lose playing time to rookie most likely to blame for their lack- be an all-senior Final Four as junior the matchup of Ginns/Kearney a Val- will commence after March Break. the Celtics averaging double figures. Jared Sullinger, who has started to luster rebounding. The older play- teams of Aldrich/Kelly and Kehoe/ lace/Westvold. Finally, the tandem The bracket is full of competitors eager While he is considered a streaky shoot- produce consistently for the Celtics. ers are so gassed late in games that Wasynczuk face off in the Elite Eight. of Matra/Petro, perhaps the most fa- to cause an upset in the bracket, and er, he has come up in the clutch for the Celtics fans were some- on many shot attempts, they barely An interesting matchup is an all-senior vored of them all, will face off in the everyone should look forward to the Celtics late in games when they need what disappointed following the trade attempt to crash the boards, prefer- battle of Donovan/O’Hara against Hal- quarterfinals against Daukas/Bartlett. remaining rounds of the Tournament. him most, especially since Paul Pierce deadline this season. Although they ring a slow and easy jog to get back and KG are gassed late in the game. did pick up Clippers shooting guard on defense. The Celtics will hope- Another player who has ben- Jordan Crawford, C’s fans were left fully show more hustle in playoffs, efited from the loss of Rondo is Jeff wanting more. However, trade rumors especially against younger teams. Green. After encouragement from surrounding Paul Pierce, Kevin Gar- Although the Celtics have coach Doc Rivers, Green has taken on nett, and Rajon Rondo were quickly struggled at times, the outlook for the Comics With Jimmy a bigger leadership role on the team, dispersed after the deadline, a huge re- playoffs is good. With their current and has become a huge factor. He is lief to many fans. It was rumored that seeding, they would avoid a matchup scoring 11 PPG, his highest amount a trade for Kris Humphries and Joe with the Miami Heat until the Eastern in his Celtics career. Although he Johnson in exchange for Kevin Garnett Conference Championship. Though has recently been hampered by a and other players was in the works, Milwaukee, Chicago and Brooklyn bruised elbow, Green has completely but apparently talks fell through. would likely not take down the Heat in bounced back after missing all of last The Celtics rebounding has the 1st and 2nd rounds of the playoffs, season following a surgery to correct been particularly suspect this sea- anything is possibly. The Celtics are a heart abnormality. Hopefully the son. They rank 28th in the NBA in looking at a 1st round matchup with the Celtics will try to build around Green Rebounds Per Game, averaging only Pacers, and a 2nd round matchup with and Rondo in the future to fill the 40.1 RPG. Kevin Garnett averages either the Knicks or Hawks. All three shoes that the Big Three left behind. 7.8 RPG, the Celtics only have 5 play- teams match up well with the Celtics. A player that has failed to ers averaging 5 RPG, including two The Celtics chances of beating the step up his game is Brandon Bass. guards/forwards, Rondo and Pierce. Heat aren’t high, but if the Heat were With Doc looking to give KG a day off Jared Sullinger has a standout statistic: to be knocked off early in the play- or two down the stretch, Bass needs to he averages 2 Offensive Rebounds Per offs, the Celtics could have an open take charge as the #1 big man on the Game. The Celtics desperately need road to another NBA Championship. Op-Ed: Breakfast Would Help By nation? Teachers get this privilege And, students would be more and we don’t? Straight hoax. We all energetic during the day, with some ANTHONY McINTYRE ‘13 know that this school wouldn’t ex- wholesome food in their stomachs. (This article origi- ist if it weren’t for us. So we should Don’t teachers want their students to nally appeared as an essay in start being treated like that. For be lively in class? To have that be a Mr. Ricther’s AP Comp class) starters, how about some breakfast? reality, breakfast must be served. It is in fact the most important meal of the Serving breakfast in the I know of many schools day. And what about the kids at school, morning is a must. For the amount that serve breakfast on a daily basis, who do not have the time to have a of money that our parents pay for such as Roxbury Latin, Nobles, Riv- meal in the morning. Because that is a this school, I do not think it is so far- ers, and Thayer. We are one of the lot of us. Those kids, who travel from fetched for Sebs to provide us with few schools in the ISL that doesn’t far distances, must wait until 12:00 some breakfast each morning. I’m offer breakfast each morning. I am to have some food in their empty not taking about full service omelet fully aware that most ISL are board- stomachs? Doesn’t seem fair to me. bars or waffle makers, but bagels, ing schools, but I still don’t under- muffins and other continental break- stand why breakfast is frowned upon. I am not asking for much fast foods would suffice. The teach- here. I believe that St. Sebastian’s is a ers are treated with such a luxury, so Serving breakfast would near perfect school. It’s just that a little I don’t see why the students shouldn’t give students more of an incentive to breakfast each morning would make it be either. We both work hard during get to school on time. If I knew that 100% perfect. If a school wants live- the day. We both have to get to school there would be warm muffins wait- lier students, a shorter tardy list, and early and we both put our pants on one ing for me in Ward Hall, I would hop an overall happier student body then leg at a time. So why the discrimi- out of bed in a second. No doubt. initiating a morning meal is the trick. Page 6 THE WALRUS March 2013 POINT and COUNTERPOINT Drake Parker Josh Nichols time, Mindy Crenshaw. In refutation, By MATT AISENBERG ‘16 shirt, tearing it into pieces. The shirt By BILLY McCARTHY ‘15 allow me to remind you of Mindy’s only works when in one piece, so once Just as the creators of the Batman transportation to a mental institu- and MIKE MACKINTIRE ‘16 again Drake wrecks Josh’s life proving series labeled their superhero duo tion. You might also argue that Josh’s Everyone can turn on their television that Josh is clearly better than Drake. “Batman and Robin,” Nickelodeon’s academic excellence will secure him and can realize that they are watch- We decided to see what some of the Dan Schneider entitled his television an admirable position in the future. ing the classic show, Drake and Josh. student’s point of view on the show is. sitcom “Drake and Josh” to express Sadly, his job at the local movie When you don’t reach for the remote to Interview with John McManmon one clear truth: Drake Parker is, in theater detracts from such a claim. change the station you do this because Who is your favorite character? more ways than not, better than Josh Furthermore, Josh exemplifies that of Josh. Josh is the typical example of “Everybody watches the Nichols. For some, this information class of people so utterly dispar- a clumsy chubby kid. Everything he show for the fat kid and the may register as a surprise, because aged by a handful of St. Sebastian’s does is filled with comedy, due to his guy who yells...Crazy Steve.” Josh, at first glance, appears lovable. scholars. Josh is a hardo. Drake, on wild tactics and ham-fisted abilities. Who would win in fight? Josh can be likened to a teddy bear. the other hand, slides through life ef- The difference between Drake and “In a fight Josh could be up He is chubby, animated, and, in an fortlessly, yet remains commendable. Josh is that Drake is a huge hardo who Drake, since he has a solid obnoxious way, educational. More- When Mrs. Hayfer assigns a report always tries to flirt with the ladies and one hundred pounds on him.” over, his recitation of “Hug me broth- on current events, Josh delivers an act all cool. Meanwhile Josh is much Who is a better actor? er!” bears a bizarre resemblance to excessive essay, laminated with a lav- more entertaining to watch with his “The actor who plays Josh a voice recording in a Build-a-bear. ender casing. Not only is the lamina- failed attempts at being normal and has a better acting career than It is my hope and expectation that tion completely detestable, but Josh’s trying to be better than his brother. A the actor who plays Drake.” the members of the St. Sebastian’s selection of a lavender cover is, at the perfect example of this is when Josh Interview with John Kapples, community have matured enough to least, a questionable one. Could he tries to become the manager at the Who do you think is better: Drake or Josh? overlook Josh’s teddy-bear charm. have chosen a more feminine color? movie theater that he works at, which “Josh, because Josh has a job and If Josh is the annoying teddy-bear of On the other hand, Drake provides he currently works at, but every time does not fail school. The stuff your youth, Drake is the beloved ac- Mrs. Hayfer with what is, perhaps, the he tries to astound his boss Helen, he does is funnier and much bet- tion figure that quickly replaced Teddy. most insightful report possible – and he fails miserably while his smooth ter than anything Drake does.” Cool and confident, Drake embodies he does so at the smallest expense. brother Josh impresses Helen and gets Josh clearly has the upper hand on the adolescent dream. He has mas- That is, he submits the local newspa- the job. There is also the time when Drake for being the better Parker broth- tered the art of attracting women, and per, carefully signed with his name Josh kicks Drake out of his life. Josh er. Everyone just has a place in their he excels musically as both a guitarist in crayon. As he articulates, “There decides to not interact with Drake at heart for fat awkward kid who always and vocalist. His nonchalance seems is nothing more current than that.” all. This leads to all success for Josh, messes up. Only one episode shows to be a product of genetics, for his Josh’s efforts extend to the local mov- whereas Drake only goes downhill. things going right for Josh, while all mother and sister are likewise smooth. ie theater, where he has worked for This clearly proves that all of Drake’s the other episodes show Drake hav- Josh, on the other hand, descends from years. Drake’s effortlessness translates success is all thanks to Josh and with- ing everything handed to him. No one a long line of losers. His father, Wal- to the local movie theater as well. In out Josh Drake is nothing. Another likes Drake because it infuriates you ter, works as a lousy weatherman and need of a job, Drake joins Josh be- example is when Josh receives a lucky to see how unrealistic it is for some- cannot help but be outshined by his hind the counter. While Josh works, shirt from his grandmother. Drake sees one to have such a good life. Josh is rival, Bruce Winchill. His forecasts Drake flirts with nearby girls, and this luck work on Josh and decided he the only reason why the show was abuses his entitlement to free mov- wants the shirt for himself. This results funny and also the only reason why prove inaccurate and vapid, prompt- Do you like Drake’s smooth machismo or Josh’s lovable obesity? ing his family to follow Winchill’s ies. Nevertheless, the boss, Helen, and Drake and Josh fighting over the people even choose to watch the show. daily forecast instead of his own. promotes Drake to a loftier position Perhaps Walter’s competition with than Josh. Why? He is more likeable. Winchill parallels the rivalry be- Robin could never precede Batman. Batman, who has established him- March Madness Looking Unpredictable as Usual tween Drake and Josh. Just as Win- self as the frontrunner in the duo, chill supersedes Walter in the eyes three losses in a row, including the five linois, and Wisconsin. Indiana, led tion. He hit three contested three point- deserves the first spot in their title. By RYAN COLGAN ‘16 and of the women in the Parker-Nichols overtime loss against Notre Dame, by the freak athlete and possible ers, and scored a layup while drawing Similarly, “Drake and Josh” could family, Drake surpasses Josh in the DAVID KORZENIOWSKI ‘16 are looking to make a comeback led player of the year, Victor Oladipo, the foul. In all of the overtimes, many never be “Josh and Drake.” Drake, eyes of every girl, everywhere, ev- by a nearly unstoppable backcourt of have had an amazing season. One players for both teams fouled out in- through his everyday activity, asserts eryday. Just as Winchell’s talent This year of college basketball has Russ Smith and Peyton Siva. Mar- of their few losses came as a huge cluding Jack Cooley, Jerian Grant, his superiority over Josh. At the end trounces Walter’s, Drake’s musical been a great one. With number one quette, led by Vander Blue, have had shocker against Illinois on an uncon- Peyton Siva, and Gorgui Dieng. These of each day in the program, Drake prowess overshadows any academic ranked teams losing nearly every a slightly easier schedule compared to tested layup buzzer beater. Neverthe- two teams meet again in the regular retreats to the desirable upper-bunk achievement belonging to Josh. How week, multiple overtime thrillers, and most Big East teams. Syracuse led the less, they had a great win at Michigan season finale, so mark your calendar. because he deserves the better bed. many record deals does Josh sign? other wild upsets, March Madness conference for a majority of the sea- State, edging out the Spartans by a Next up, the Miami and Duke game He is the better character. By contrast, You might argue that Josh’s romantic promises to be a crazy tournament. son with the help of Brandon Triche mere four points. As for Michigan, made people truly realize that Miami Josh retires nightly to the ordinary endeavors yield satisfactory results, As of right now, the four number one and Michael Carter-Williams. Re- they beat their rivals, the Spartans in is a legitimate team. Duke sat atop the lower-bunk. He is Drake’s inferior. for he develops an inseparable con- seeds in the tournament according to cently however, they’ve lost four of a nail biter by one point. Matt Kar- rankings at the time, and got blown out nection with his girlfriend of some ESPN bracketologist Joe Lunardi are their last six and look to bounce back powicz, commenting on Michigan, by twenty-seven point. You may ask Gonzaga (29-2), Indiana (25-4), Kan- before the start of the NCAA tourna- says, “They are the most fun team to why we including this blowout game sas (25-4), and Georgetown (23-4). ment. Some other Big East contend- watch both on the court and aestheti- in our best games of the year, but we In this article, we’ll go through the ers include the fighting Irish, led by cally.” Wisconsin is a definite sleeper have to admit that watching the Hur- main three power conferences, telling Jack Cooley, and Pittsburgh, a defen- team, with a quality win against Indi- ricanes obliterate the Blue Devils was you which teams will make the tour- sive minded team who has beaten the ana much earlier in the year. Finally, quite funny. Finally, the Indiana vs. ney. We will also talk about some of Hoyas, the Orange, and the Bearcats. Ohio State, a final four team from last Michigan St. showdown could very the best games this season has seen Also Cincinnati and Villanova both year, is led by great all-around player well be the best game of the season so far. Then, to wrap it up we’ll each will sneak into the NCAA tourney. Aaron Craft, who is looking to take thus far. Two very well-coached teams give you our final four predictions The ACC has had a down his team back to the Final Four once went at each other for forty minutes along with our overall champion. Also, year, with Duke and UNC both under- again. With a quality win at Indiana of tough basketball. Victor Oladipo we’ll give you a few teams to look whelming. Duke has lost four times in by nine points, Ohio State proved put on a show on the offensive and out for that might go under the radar. conference, but with star Ryan Kelly they are a still a legitimate contender. defensive ends and led his team a One of the main power con- coming back, Duke seems to be a new Minnesota is another sleeper team hard-fought victory in East Lansing. ferences, the Big East, comprises of team. The Miami Hurricanes have who has also beat Indiana, but over- Now for our picks: the following tournament contenders: come out of nowhere, crushing Duke all, their team has been quite streaky. David’s Final Four: Michigan Cincinnati, UConn, Georgetown, Lou- once but losing to them a second time. If we were to choose three State, Kansas, Indiana, and Louisville isville, Marquette, Notre Dame, Pitt, North Carolina Tar Heels have an 11-5 games from this season so far, the best Ryan’s Final Four: Kan- Syracuse, and Villanova. However, conference record; however the only ones would be the Louisville vs. Notre sas, Duke, Indiana, Georgetown due to an NCAA academic infraction, tournament teams they’ve defeated are Dame marathon, the huge Miami vs. David’s Cham- Uconn, although putting up a solid Maryland, UNLV, and Virginia. Also, Duke upset, and the Indiana vs. Michi- pion: Michigan State record, will not be allowed to play in NC State, led by CJ Leslie, beat Duke gan State game. First off, the game Ryan’s Champion: Indiana the tournament. The top teams in the in a showdown earlier this season. on February ninth in South Bend will David Upset Alert Teams: Big East are Georgetown, Louisville, Moving on to the Big 10, stick in college basketball fans for a Wichita State, Illinois, and Virginia Marquette, and Syracuse. George- arguably the best conference this sea- long, long time. Jerian Grant, when the Ryan’s Upset Alert town, led by Otto Porter Jr., sits atop son, have contenders Indiana, Michi- game looked finished, scored twelve Teams: Minnesota and Illinois their conference after a quality win at gan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Il- points in the final minutes of regula- Andrew Sullivan ‘13 gets sat on, much to the disgust of his team. Syracuse. Louisville, recovering after Sebs Wrestling Team Throws Down Now the more memorable Celebrity Look-Alike By CASEY KELLY ‘18 and valiantly, showing their “can do it” at- JACK RAGNONI ‘18 titude. With the seniors leaving next moments of the season. First, the Da- year the one fear for the team is a loss vid and Goliath story of the year. In This year wrestling had its Peter Olson’s first match of the season most successful season in the six years of leadership and some great wrestlers. This year at ISL’s and New he faced a kid who was a much bigger the sport has been available at Sebs. kid than he was. However, he fought The list starts with our first time of go- England’s we were very successful. Brian O’Malley placed 2nd, Andrew through the rounds and eventually got ing over .500, with a record of nine the win in the late round. Second, AJ and eight, and having wrestlers place Sullivan got 5th and Matt Maguire also got 5th, each in their respectable Jreige was eliminated due to an un- in ISL’s and New England’s. With all intentional body slam that resembled the success going our way you would classes. Billy Beamen got 3rd and Brian Mullin got 4th. This ISL cham- your typical WWE fighter. We wathced be surprised about the amount of hard- his move over and over again during ships the team went through to become pionship was also a great showing for the team and hopefully the success team film sessions. Now we will take so successful. Sadly, our president and about the man, the myth, the legend, previously 195lb wrestler, Cole Eden, will continue. Both Brian O’Malley and James Silvia went down to the the lord of the rings, Cole Eden. Ap- got a case of ring worm that was the parently he got a case of ringworm worst case the school has ever seen. New England Regional Tournament down in the Choate School in Con- that prevented him from wrestling for Usually our team goes into a month and a half. Mr. Ryan had some a meet with less kids and experience necticut. They both placed 7th which qualified them for the National Tour- suspicions about his health considering than our opponent, but this year was ringworm usually takes only 3 days to different. With a kid to fill every nament in Lehigh, Pennsylvania. During the time of the tour- heal. Whether or not this disease re- weight class, we knew being out- ally existed is still under investigation. numbered was no longer an excuse, nament O’Malley and Silvia each won two matches. In one of the Anybody who wants to and prepared for a long road filled try out the sport of wrestling should with hard work. Some of the matches matches Brian O’Malley wrestled the Virginia state champ and beat come out onto the mat next year and were won by a landslide, or just a few try to help towards the goal of beat- points, but the team didn’t lose any him in a well-fought match. This proved that Brian O’Malley is better ing this season’s record. All in all matches in a blowout, always keeping the Wrestling team had a great year the matches suspenseful and interest- than any wrestler in Virginia. These four wins at the tournament were and in the words of Mr. Williams it Mr. Cornish Anderson Cooper ing. Even when the opposing team was, “terrific, great, and awesome.” seemed far better, Sebs always fought the most St. Sebastians has ever had. March 2013 THE WALRUS Page 7 Arrows Ski Team Carving Up the Frozen Slopes through their practices. Members of The Art of Hypnotism By ERIK JONES ‘15 the ski team practice on every Monday My friend looked like he was cuddling and Tuesday during the winter sports By KENNY CHEN ‘13 with the girl next to him. The next task The ski team wants you to season at the mountain known as Blue was to do some hula dancing in their come out next year and partake in the Hills. With this team’s determination chairs, and one kid just swayed his The first time I’ve encoun- sensational sport of skiing. It does and hard work, both on the slopes and lower body and moved his hands up tered hypnosis in first person was not matter what grade you are in, or in the weight room, came great suc- and down. That was not hula dancing. last year at the annual Massachu- even how experienced you are at ski- cess. We cannot give the team a record The next highlight worth setts Music Educators Association ing, the point is that you are wanted. like other sports have, showing wins, mentioning is that he tapped a few (MMEA) All-State Festival at the This year’s ski team ties, and losses, as ski races have many people on the shoulder and showed Seaport World Trade Center. Inappro- coached by Ms. Rynne con- schools, but their superior abilities and them a tune of the speakers. When priate fingers, wild dance moves, and sisted of Richard Arms, Henry chemistry were evident in their fantas- they heard that tune, they would truly intense crying only served to make Finnegan, Luke Jones, Jack Brug- tic feat at the NEPSAC championship. believe that they were the “world’s the audience roar with giggles, my- ger, Sam Cullen, and Reid Walsh. St. Seb’s placed third in the competition greatest booty dancers.” Luckily, self included when watching one of Being the two co-captains that contained about 15 teams in total. he did make a special mention that my close friends act extraordinarily and the oldest and most experienced Besides this annual NEP- no cloths were to come off, and his out of character. The show was so two of the group, Richard Arms ’14 SAC championship, each one of their word stayed true. After some danc- good that the hypnotist, Dan Candell, and Henry Finnegan ’14 were lead- regular races took place at Nashoba ing, he asked a guy what he was do- was called back for a second year. ers to the younger guys who came Valley on Wednesday against all of the ing. The response was: “I. I…..” The After my first year at All- out. A returning racer, Luke Jones other ISL schools. Every racer com- crowed loved it. “I… I don’t know…” States, I just wasn’t excited for future ’17 marked his second year with the petes in the two different variations, Next up was an all time fa- years because it would not be new team this season. Along with these which are GS (Giant Slalom), and vorite of last year: the iShoe. Students for me anymore; however, the lead- recurring members came a couple Slalom. GS fits the image that most talked to their favorite celebrities, and ing reason for me to accept my spot of newbies: Jack Brugger ’16, Sam people have in their head of what ski Dan went around asking each par- again in this year’s festival was the Cullen ’17, and Reid Walsh ’18.Cul- racing looks like; with skiers weav- ticipant who they were talking to. Re- An Arrows skier cuts up some fresh powder on the slopes. Friday night of hypnotism. This year, len almost completed his first season ing along the outsides of the string sponses ranged from Michelle Obama my third year at the MMEA All-State injury-free, but sadly, in one of the of gates while propelling downward, shins and fists. Although these parts of up for if someone messes up, but we to St. Francis of Assisi. My friend Festival, Dan came back for another last races, he tore his ACL and broke with enough room to make comfort- the body are armored during the race, do not. If one of our guys disquali- was the one who said St. Francis. Friday night filled with laughter. his tibia. Jack Brugger, however, suf- able turns while still maintaining a it takes a good bit of courage to soar fies, for example, then there is little To wrap up the evening, As with the previous year, he chose fered through the entire winter sea- fast pace. Slalom, on the other hand, down a ski mountain and collide into hope for the team placing well at the he had the participants rock out to about twenty consenting All-State son from a different type of injury: A is the aspect of ski racing that most countless gates full-force, considering end. So, again, even if you don’t con- Gangnam Style, and my friend, being participants from the crowd, luckily hand injury that had happened earlier people don’t know about. It requires that most of the body is unprotected. sider yourself a good skier, the squad the reserved person he was, jumped choosing a friend I knew personally. on in the fall. Even though Brugger skiers to make much tighter turns than Some of you may have just needs you for, at the least, strength in around and strummed an imagi- After putting them into a state of deep was burdened by his inability to carry they needed to in GS. Slalom is seen realized that ski racing is a lot more numbers. Luke Jones reminds you that nary guitar the entire time. Dan then sleep, he let the embarrassment begin. a second pole down the slopes, he as such a challenge because you have difficult and complex than you thought “especially if you don’t play a winter woke up each individual, declaring Starting off small with some raced admirably in every one of his to make sharp turns in and out of the it was before. For this exact reason the sport or don’t enjoy the one that you that each would remember every- magic carpet flying and sudden body competitions, remaining firm in his closely-knit gates but also try to stay at ski team needs more guys. With barely have done other years, join us on the thing he or she just did in front of the movements horizontally and vertical- love for skiing with a positive attitude a fast speed. When curving around the enough people to have a varsity team ski team because we actually get to ski crowd. Lots of facepalms and shrieks. ly, he had the students imagine they and a determination to give it his all. bendable yet sturdy poles, or gates, the at all, there is an unnecessary amount on school days and you have a good The moral of the story? were on a beach. “Oh, but wait! It Brugger and all of his team- skier needs to align his or her body per- of pressure on each racer. Most other chance of getting a varsity letter”. Don’t get hypnotized. You’ll embar- just dropped to 40 degrees! Rub your mates also portrayed their dedication fectly above, and knock it down on the schools have a bunch of kids as back rass yourself. Just watch it for fun. hands, hug the person next to you.” Seb’s Squash Squishes Opponents difficult day. in this manner, the season was truly a By THAYER WADE ‘13 A week later competing positive and successful one, build- against Nobles, the team achieved ing on the last year’s experience and HEAD WRITER only similar success on the score- establishing greater skill for next board. However, Coach Moore noted year: “For us, this season, I saw a lot On February 22nd, the St. that with such defeats, the scoreboard of guys playing in matches that were Sebastian’s Squash Team wrapped up does not accurately reflect the team’s competitive that would not have been its season with its final match against level of competition: “It feels to me for them last year. And that suggests Nobles. Under Coach Moore and like watching a low scoring game like to me that we’re getting much better, Coach Brown, the team was able to hockey or soccer, or even lacrosse to even though the record is generally build upon its experience to finish the a certain extent, where you feel like the same.” season in a strong manner. After the you can dominate play, just things At the end of the final match midseason match at Belmont Hill, the don’t necessarily go your way… at Nobles, Mr. Moore said that despite squash team was originally scheduled Brooks is a great example of this – the difficulty of practices at Nobles to compete in three more matches. we had almost no matches where at 7:15pm on weeknights, the team However, the match at Middlesex one of our guys didn’t win at least spirit made the season extraordinarily scheduled for February 9th, the first one game in that match, and we lost enjoyable and gratifying. The Squash of the three, was cancelled due to that match. So, you take out the five Team capped off the season with a the large snowstorm that weekend. game matches that you play in there, team lunch at Five Guys in Dedham. Thankfully, the other matches went and all of a sudden, if those go our With the departure of two seniors, off without a hitch. On February way, which they easily could because skilled player Will Jundanian ’13 15th, the team traveled up to North they’re five games, all of a sudden and greenhorn Thayer Wade ‘13, the Andover to face a strong Brooks we’ve lost about six to seven. And team will look towards the skill and team. Though each player performed now you have a bunch of four game leadership of Matt Pickard ’14, Cam in a valiant fashion, St. Sebastian’s matches in there, that if those had Finnegan ’16, and several other rising took home only two victories. On the gone our way, we win about nine to players. Thanks to Coach Moore and way back to St. Sebastian’s after the four. So, it’s really just about turning Coach Brown for a positive season, match, Coaches Moore and Brown the corner there.” Coach Moore also and the team looks to build on its ex- Hopefully our spring break will be much more enjoyable and less punny than the one above. brought the team to McDonald’s for mentioned that despite the potential perience this season for success next dinner, I fine way to end an otherwise frustration from losing close matches year. Spring Break-down he has “plans to get weird” and is “al- White did not offer this challenge to By WILL KENNEY ‘14 ready finna tryna slage, for the boys.” his honors class because he would be When asked what “finna tryna slage” getting a Hitler mustache and Mutton This Friday, at 12:30, Spring means, Will yelled “For the boys” and Chops faster than you can say Tolstoy. Break will finally be upon us. There slapped me on the stomach, causing Spring Break is not just for is nothing else like Spring Break, a an unusual amount of discomfort. independent travel; there are also the two-week period of rowdiness and While many students will be school-sponsored trips to Costa Rica debauchery. For some, a week in going away for the first week, the sec- with Mr. Brown and Ireland with Mr. paradise awaits them, while others are ond week of Spring Break is packed Sullivan. Junior Brian Curley will be stuck in their basements, afraid to go full of double sessions for both headed to Ireland, and when asked into the near freezing Boston weather. Varsity Lacrosse and Varsity Baseball. about the trip he said, “Gonna make Two weeks without school is fantastic Varsity Lacrosse, ranked number it nasty over in my homeland. Doing no matter what the weather is like, two in the preseason poll, is poised it for the story. Possibly for the boys. and Spring Break could not have for a repeat this year, and hopefully More likely for the girls though.” been described better than how Junior captains Pat Healey, Dalton McAfee, Sophomore Greg Barletta will be go- Miles Hunter put it: “Everyone’s just and Brian O’Malley will lead them to ing on the Costa Rica service trip, and tryna get a break. In the spring. With victory. For Varsity Baseball, it is a he has this to say about it: “Hopefully the boys.” Indeed good sir, it could rebuilding year, but under the leader- I don’t get kidnapped by a cartel. not have been said better. ship of Brayden O’Daley, they are in That’d be chill though. It’d be like Sebs students have planned for a very successful season. Junior Canton. Mint.” a wide variety of activities for their Andrew “Young Buck” Corcoran, an- Spring Break is almost here, individual Spring Breaks. The first other member of the Varsity Baseball and the excitement is in the air. Stu- week of my break will be spent Team, is also ready for Spring Break. dents have all types of plans, and here locked away in the basement of my Corcoran, also known as “The Screw” are a few to show the wide variety: house with the lights off and my or “The Beak,” told us his Spring Senior Ike Chukwu will be starring in laptop on full brightness, for pristine Break plans consist of “Sleeping in the live action remake of the hit Dis- The trustees enjoy the annual opportunity to relive their glory days of high school. Ahhhhh... viewing purposes. I will attempt to a church basement in Quincy with ney Channel show The Proud Family set the record for most TV watched in Mr. Eaton.” Hopefully he’ll get the as Oscar Proud. Senior Chris Marano one consecutive week, possibly start- complimentary wife beater T-shirt will be “Partying like Dr. Martin in Trustees Beat Weather, Visit Seb’s ing the Friday Night Lights series and and pack of Marlboro Reds that come the 60s,” and will hopefully grow with every trip into Quincy. finishing it with enough time to watch a mustache to match. Senior James of St. Sebastian’s made an ardu- in the end. During class time, trustees Speaking of teachers, many every episode of The Chapelle Show O’Leary will be “Going to Atlanty By JOE KERWIN ‘15 and ous trek across the slushy roads of would observe both students and Sebs teachers have their own plans for three times each. I’ll have Dominos ked. Slagefest 2013.” Senior Anthony Massachusetts, visiting our school teachers, taking notes on what they Spring Break. Father Paris will spend CHARLIE GORDON ‘15 on speed dial and a walkie-talkie to McIntyre will be travelling around to get an inside look on what goes experienced during class. While trust- his Spring Break printing out pictures Massachusetts making Vines of him communicate with my mom so she “Trustee (n.) – One to whom on during the day. Although the ees were present, students always did of the new pope and posting them all disobeying rules on signs. President can come downstairs and rub my something is entrusted.” weather was quite severe, the trustees their best to look smart and diligent over school, along with tracking down Cole Eden will spend Spring Break belly when I feel gaseous. You know, The trustees are the behind the prevailed and arrived at school on in front of their viewer. Students also individuals who didn’t pay up for the locked in his room in a depression normal stuff. scenes backbone of St. Sebastian’s. time. Towards the end of the day, they felt honored and respected, as they betting pool he set up for the pope coma after being cut from the Varsity Unlike me, most Sebs stu- Though as students we seldom see visited various classes, joining in on knew that trustees were taking valu- selection process. Lacrosse team. Finally, when asked dents will be spending Spring Break them, they play a major role in the discussions and taking part in other able time out of their day to sit in on Mr. White will be spending what he would be doing Spring in a different state or country. For management of the school and are activities. They were able to gain an classes. Spring Break wallowing in fear, as Break, Junior Kevin Ginns replied example, Senior Connor Chabot will trusted to make decisions with our understanding of what occurs during Similar to all other years, he told his eleventh grade Standard with “Farts.” be heading out to South Dakota to best interests in mind. These men an average class through the eye’s of the 2013 Trustee Visit Day was a English class that if three of them This year’s Spring Break is catch the Yiddish Battle of the Bands and women volunteer their time and a student. great success, and nobody got hurt. read up to page 300 in Anna Karenina shaping up to be the best one yet, and and then go skiing in Park City, Utah. talents, advising the school on admin- Since the most important Students enjoyed their company, and by the end of Spring Break then he hopefully every Sebs student comes “It’ll be chill, bro,” he told me. istrative and financial matters. The classes usually occur at the beginning trustees enjoyed their visit. Although will shave his beard into whatever back two weeks later incredibly sun- Senior Will Jundanian, when trustees are responsible to support St. of the day, the agenda ran on a reverse at first the day had the chance of style they would like, and if one of burned and ready to crush the fourth asked where he would be going for Sebastian’s, and to help the school schedule, confusing the student body. being ruined from poor weather, it them finished the 864 page book, he quarter. As always, Let’s make sure Spring Break, did not reply with a lo- make its mission statement a reality. However, the frustration faded and ended up being just fine, and every- would completely shave his head. Mr. this Spring Break is FTBAF. cation. Instead, Mr. Jundanian told me Last Thursday, the trustees everyone was able to figure things out thing ran smoothly. ARROWS SPORTS Vol LXVI, No. 5 St. Sebastian’s School March 2013 Basketball Ends on a High Note By MICKEY ADAMS ‘13 the overtime period, never trailing, ketball team is looking very bright. and when the buzzer sounded with Next year, the team will be SENIOR EDITOR Sebs up three, the crowd stormed the led by seniors Dan Fulham, Jordan court to celebrate the Arrows victory. Brydie, and Connor Murray. This Yet another season has come Another big game for the year, Fulham was the emotional leader and gone for the St. Sebastian’s Var- Arrows came late in the season, when of the team, taking charges, hustling sity Basketball team. The Arrows they, despite a valiant effort, dropped to the max, and collecting rebounds battled hard all season, fighting against a close game to Milton Academy, a in bunches, and he will look to con- injuries and inexperience all season regular juggernaut in the ISL and the tinue this same style of play. Brydie long to finish with a 5-10 ISL record. 2013 league champions. It was the last will again be asked to create for the The team, which featured eleven un- home game for seniors Mickey Adams team next year, and hopefully he can derclassmen and only two seniors, and Brian Wolpe, both of whom had elevate his game to be an elite player took their bumps and bruises along the been on the team since their sopho- in the league. The last senior, Con- way, but from the first practice until more seasons. The Arrows came out nor Murray, will look to be a solid the last game of the season, this team of the gate undersized and a signifi- point guard and leader for the team stayed together, worked hard, and cant underdog, but rallied together and next year. The sophomores on this developed their basketball abilities. hung tough. With 90 seconds left in team will look to grow into their roles The Arrows were lead by the game, St. Sebastian’s only trailed and make a big name for the class of their Head Coach, Mr. Morelli, and by two, but missed a few key oppor- 2015. Sniper Jordan Barros already their Assistant Coaches, Mr. O’ Brien tunities down the stretch, and ended has a deadly jumpshot, and will look and Al Rue. These three combined up losing 58-53. It was an unfortunate to develop into one of the best offen- basketball knowledge, firm leader- end for the Arrows in their last home sive talents in the league. Big men ship, and a high-level of collective game, but it was by far the best game Tyson Mattox and Tommy Pace were basketball experience to lead the Senior Captain Mickey Adams drives to the hoop for an easy lay-in against Milton Academy. that the team had played all season. huge in the paint this year for the Ar- team all year long. On the court, St. The final shining moment for rows, and will look to continue to Sebastian’s was lead by co-captains this St. Sebastian’s team came in their dominate down low and the boards on St. Sebastian’s Varsity Swim Team Stays Soaked Mickey Adams ’13 and Dan Fulham last game of the season. After taking a both ends. Edosa Onaiwu will use his ’14. That was not a single player on the pool for lunch and much needed hold his seed a win a 5th place finish long bus ride to St. Paul’s School, the blazing speed and top level athleticism By JACK ADAMS ‘15 and this team who did not, at one point naps, the Sebs team was back and for his team. In the 200 freestyle relay, Arrows shook over some dead legs and to impact the game as a defender and or another during the season, make a JIMMY MITCEHLL ‘15 ready for the finals portion of the meet. Rocco, R.Lee, Mitchell, and Vandini jumped out to a huge lead over their hopefully he can continue to knock big play, hit a big shot, or make their Being the night session, the were ready to show their top speeds. opponents. However, a furious come- down huge shots. Colin Connolly was As the winter season comes presence felt in some way or another. first event was back to the 200 med- At the end of the thrilling and short back by St. Paul’s found the game tight solid for the Arrows all year, and will to an end, Sebs Varsity Swim Team The highlight of the season ley relay. With Adams swimming race, and “last race ever” for Captain with just a few seconds to play. A few look to continue to develop as a leader was focused on the two major cham- came on February 1, when the Ar- backstroke, Supple breaststroke, J.Lee Matt Vandini, Sebs was able to win 8th huge stops and some clutch free throws for this team, both on and off the court. pionships left in the year, the EIL rows squared off with Rivers School. butterfly, and the Captain Vandini an- place. Next came the 100 backstroke down the stretch lifted the Arrows to The final sophomore was Kevin Mur- Championships and the New England In front of a frenzied Henry’s Corner, choring with freestyle, Sebs was ready where Mitchell, despite losing his gog- a 55-51 victory. It was a fitting way ray. All year long, Kevin hit crucial Division 2 Championship. St. Sebastian’s pulled out a gutsy 58- to make a splash. At the sound of the gles, was still able to tough it out and for St. Sebastian’s to end the season shots late in the game. If he continues The first major championship 55 overtime victory over Rivers, who beep, the backstrokers were off. Ad- gain a top 16 performance. Onto the and a great way for the seniors to end to develop his skillset and confidence, was EIL’s, which were held at Welles- entered the game as the top team in ams, Supple, J.Lee, and Vandini all Championship final, Jack Adams ap- their high school basketball careers. he could become a deadly weapon for ley College. One of the team’s main the ISL at the time. The Arrows fell dove in combining for the fastest relay peared to be in the zone. At the end of The main theme for the this program. The lone freshman on goals to start the year was to come behind early, trailing by six at the time of the whole year. Sebs was able the race, he surged into the wall to a 55 season was the team’s desire to im- this team was Matt Karpowicz. The home with the trophy and win EIL’s. half, but scraped their way back into to claim 5th place, starting the meet on second 100 backstroke, a best time, a prove each and every day. It was young big man will look to grow into However, after complications con- the game in the second half, only to the right foot. Supple, Rocco, J.Lee, new Sebs record, and a 2nd place fin- sometimes difficult to stay positive his body and continue to develop in cerning the members of the league, St. find themselves down two with sec- and Vandini were all able to hold their ish. The last event of this swim season with the team dropping a lot of close, leaps and bounds until he can hope- Sebastian’s was disqualified for get- onds to play. Surrounded by defend- seed and finish strong in their conso- was the 400 freestyle relay, where the winnable games, but the coaching fully become an elite low post talent. ting any points and winning the meet, ers, Jordan Brydie ’14 found Matt lation finals. Just before the break, team finished 7th. With all these great staff led the way and helped the team The St. Sebastian’s Bas- but they could still come to swim. Karpowicz ’16 down low, and the Supple, in the consolation final of the performances added together, Sebs as achieve this goal of improvement on ketball team would like to thank On the morning of the meet, freshman center finished strong to 500 freestyle dropped nearly 15 sec- a team was able to finish 7th overall, a daily basis. For this reason, the fu- all the players, coaches, par- nearly every Sebs swimmer had made send the game into overtime. Excited onds setting a personal best time with an improvement from last year, capture of the St. Sebastian’s Varsity Bas- ents, trainers, and fans who made it out to prove why they should be al- and on a roll, the Arrows dominated this year so competitive and fun. lowed to score and compete for the ti- a 5:41. In the Championship final of ping off another great season for the tle of EIL Champion. The meet started the 100 freestyle, Adams was able to St. Sebastian’s Varsity Swim Team. off similar to most duel meets with the Varsity Hockey Team Fights to the Finish 200 medley relay of Adams, Supple, J.Lee, and Vandini. Sebs was able to winning their next two games against en handily, six to three earlier on in jump out to an early lead and extended By KENNY VALLACE ‘15 St. Paul’s and Phillips Andover. the season and this definitely brought it throughout the race. Winning this With tremendous momentum com- The next seven games, however, did some confidence for the team. Things relay, Sebs started out on a note that ing from a very successful 2011-2012 not go the way the team would have didn’t turn out as expected once again, proved they wanted to win every race campaign, the Arrows varsity hockey wished as they went three and four. though, and Sebs lost to Thayer three they could. Before the break in the embarked out on a new season with With these losses the Arrows were to one. With this lost things were not meet, Supple, R.Lee, Rocco, C.Kelly, high hopes. This year’s team was now a bubble team to make the play- looking hopefully in terms of the Ar- Vandini, Fachetti and Fantozzi had all comprised of fourteen players from a offs as the season was nearing the end, rows clinching a playoff spot. Just swum very strong and placed high in team that made it to the finals of the with just five games remaining on the when it looked like the team had no their events. The next major race for New England Large school tourna- schedule. Aware of this, the team came chance to clinch a spot in the playoffs, Sebs was the 100 backstroke. Ad- ment a year ago, as well as five new out and beat Lawrence Academy on St. Sebastian’s received news that ams, Mitchell, and Caravolas were all comers. So as expected, led by senior the road. This was a solid win against they were the seven seed in the Large swimming, and had high expectations. captains Tommy Kelley and John the defending New England Champs, School tournament and had clinched Coming home after three laps Adams Doherty, as well as the Sophomore yet the momentum that came with this a spot in the playoffs. The Arrows was in the lead and after touching the standout defenseman Noah Hanifin, win was not enough to bring them to were slated to play against the two pad, had set a new Sebs record with the team got off to a hot start win- victory in their next game against St. seed Thayer on Thayer’s home ice. a 56 second 100 backstroke. I.Kelly ning four of their first five games. Paul’s, which they lost five to four. With the unexpected news that the and Fachetti were able to perform After returning to school from break, Next up for the Arrows was Gover- Arrows had made the playoffs, every- well in the 100 breaststroke. Finally The swim team celebrates a victory with the Dana Hall girls. the Arrows brought in the New Year nor’s, a team that handed Sebs a six to one associated with Sebs was more there was the relay, the race in which with a win over ISL rival Nobles, four two loss in the prior game. Looking to than eager to come out and support most meets are decided with. Sebs, to three in a hard fought back and forth exact revenge and pick up a big win, the team, especially Henry’s Corner. wanting to prove one last time to the battle at home. With this win the Ar- the Arrow’s started off very strong in With the drop of the puck, the Canton other EIL teams that they should be Varsity rows looked to carry their momentum this game against Governor’s going up Sportsplex was booming. The Arrows, allowed to score, showcased a relay into a game against their archrival, two to zero heading into the third pe- however, did not start off the way they composed of Rocco, J.Lee, Supple, Belmont Hill, and take down a team riod. However, Governor’s wasn’t yet expected to and they dug themselves a and Adams. The Arrows were able to that was ranked number one in New ready to quit on this game. Governor’s three to zero hole late in the second pe- Results chase down Portsmouth Abbey, com- England at that point. Henry’s Corner responded with two late goals in this riod. Despite Sebs lack of momentum, ing home with a final Sebs victory. was out in full force as the Arrows game, resulting in a two to two tie. The they immediately responded with a However, for Adams, Van- looked to take down Bell Hill. This next game against Lawrence Acad- goal from Senior Tommy Kelley after dini, Fachetti, C.Kelly, R.Lee, J.Lee, Varsity Basketball one didn’t not turn out how the team emy saw the same result. Now with going down three to oh, and brought Rocco, Supple, and Mitchell, the sea- hoped, however, as they lost eight to only one game left in the season, Sebs the crowd back into the game. The Ar- son was not over. Back to the pool four. Although this loss hurt, the team whole season was seemingly riding on rows were not finished yet, and they vs Milton 53-58 L for another week, Sebs had New Eng- did not allow themselves to remain their dual with Thayer. Thayer was a took advantage of two power plays land’s to train for. On March 1st, Ms. discouraged and they responded by team that the Arrows had already beat- with goals from Senior Jake McLaugh- Bryne and Ms. Callini, along with @ St. Paul’s 55-51 W lin, to bring them back into the game their team, set off for Wesleyan in CT. and tie it up three to three late in the Arriving around 9 o’clock, Sebs set- third period. The game went into over- tled in their hotel rooms ready for the time, which the Arrows dominated for early morning. At 6:30 Sebs moseyed the first nine minutes. The Arrows had their way unto the pool deck and be- many close shots on goal from for- Varsity Hockey gan to warm up. Being a trials-finals wards John Rourke ’15, Will D’Orsi meet, swimmers have to swim once ’15 and Cory Ronan ’14, but none of in the morning and if they finish 9-16 @Thayer 3-4 L/OT them slipped past Thayer’s goalie. De- they will swim in the Consolation fi- spite the team’s best efforts, however, nal at night, and if they finish 1-8, they Thayer was able to get one past junior will swim in the Championship finals. goaltender Tedy Loughborough in the Therefore in the first event, the 200 waning minutes of the first overtime freestyle, R.Lee, Mitchell, and Sup- Varsity Wrestling to clinch the win. In spite of the loss, ple all swam best times, with Supple the Arrows season will not be defined qualifying for the consolation final. with this loss. This team proved they Graves Kelsey ISL Next, Rocco finished fast enough to are not a group that is going to give qualify for the consolation final of the up on a game, and the seniors defined 200 Individual Medley. In the 50 free- Tournament: 8th Place themselves as tremendous leaders. style, Fachetti, C.Kelly, and Vandini Even though the team did not make all sprinted their way to best times. it as far as they did last year in the Afterwards in the 100 butterfly, R.Lee playoffs, this season was by no means went a personal best with J.Lee and a disappointment. I will finish with Vandini qualifying for the consola- Varsity Swimming a quote from Christian Reenstierna: tion final. Next, in the 100 freestyle, “We couldn’t have done anything Adams had a stellar performance. without the support of Henry’s cheer- New England Divsion 2 In the last Sebs trials race, the 100 ing us on at every home game and backstroke, Mitchell qualified for the being the best fans we could ever consolation final and Adams swam Championships: 7th Place ask for. Special thanks to the coach- his way into the Championship fies for their guidance and support.” Dalton Macafee and TK boast the league’s best facial hair. nal. After a brief hiatus away from