Narcissism As Addiction to Esteem

COMMENTARIES Narcissism as Addiction to Esteem Roy F. Baumeister and Kathleen D. Vohs Department of Psychology Case Western Reserve University Morf and Rhodewalt (this issue) provide a master- Cravings, withdrawal, and tolerance are thus the ful summary of the research literature on narcissism. In hallmarks of addiction. To understand narcissism as an their view, narcissists are highly motivated to gain the addiction to the admiration of others, it is therefore admiration of others, and their attempts to fulfill this useful to consider those three hallmarks. motivation are ultimately costly and self-defeating because they ruin the relationships on which they seem- ingly rely for the admiration they seek. Cravings Our comment is intended to carry this analysis one step further. Narcissism can be considered a pattern of Cravings for approval from the other people may be addiction. That is, narcissism may not be a lifelong a relatively common psychological trait, and indeed personality trait in the usual sense but rather a pattern the desire to be well regarded by others appears univer- of yielding to inner urges in a way that proves costly sal. Narcissists seem especially susceptible to these and self-destructive—not unlike other, more familiar cravings, as Morf and Rhodewalt’s (this issue) analysis addictions. As a result, a narcissist’s life may be char- emphasizes. In a sense, narcissists simply yield to the acterized not by a stable sense of inflated self-regard, same cravings that other people have, just as alcohol or but rather by periods of relative normality punctuated drug addicts yield to the desires for physical pleasure by phases of self-aggrandizing inflation, possibly lead- that most people have. The greater tendency to yield ing to destructive consequences that may occasionally may well have to do with some predisposition, such as cause the person to revert to a more normal, balanced if these pleasures are more satisfying to potential ad- view of self. dicts than to other people, or if alternative satisfactions To be sure, an addiction analogy may seem directly are weaker. contrary to Morf and Rhodewalt’s depiction of narcis- Indeed, it seems likely that the widespread dislike sistic self-regulation, because addiction is often under- of narcissists is tinged with disapproval, which is again stood precisely as a failure of self-regulation. Yet the similar to how people regard addicts. That is, the nar- contradiction may be more apparent than real. Addicts cissists indulge themselves in ways that most people do indeed often fail because they indulge their appe- might like to do (such as in thinking themselves supe- tites to destructive extremes, but along the way, they rior to others), and so the majority of people who resist may exhibit considerable and effective self-regulation such impulses disapprove of the narcissistic indul- as they manage their activities and affairs toward the gence in them. goal of satisfying their addictive cravings. Indeed, The focus on impulses and cravings brings up the maintaining a certain level of heroin or alcohol in the question of to what, precisely, is the narcissist ad- bloodstream can be regarded as itself a form of dicted? Morf and Rhodewalt present some evidence self-regulation—and one that has much in parallel with that the focus of the addiction is on the grand view of maintaining a steady inflow of social admiration. self, not on the receipt of approval from others. The admiration of others is simply a means to create the desired satisfaction, not the end in itself. Consistent Narcissism as Addiction: with that emphasis, the cognitive distortions that nar- Resemblances cissists use to inflate their views of self indicate that the input from other people can be bypassed to some We understand addiction in the following way (e.g., extent. These cognitive distortions enable the narcis- Peele, 1989). The person makes the acquaintance of sists to regard themselves as superior beings even something that offers intense satisfaction or pleasure. without receiving explicit confirmation from others, As a result, craving for such satisfactions becomes and so they bring satisfaction in an intrapsychic rather strong. Eventually it can come to dominate other moti- than an interpersonal route. Then again, the distor- vations and reduce rational behavior. If the drug is not tions may also entail believing (somewhat falsely) provided, severe distress ensues, known as with- that others accept the narcissist’s superiority. Ulti- drawal. Repeated administrations of the same dose mately the belief in the superior self, and the percep- however yield diminishing levels of satisfaction, a pat- tion of admiration by others, may be close to tern known as tolerance, and so the person may seek indistinguishable—even if both are based on dis- ever-greater dosages. torted perceptions. 206 COMMENTARIES This independence of feedback suggests a funda- sism as simply another personality trait. Traits are gen- mental difference between narcissism and high self-es- erally defined and understood as stable properties. If teem. Selfesteem is a concept of oneself and is thus, narcissism resembles an addiction, however, then it ultimately, a cognition. Narcissism may at best be may wax and wane more than other traits, especially more of a motivation than a cognition: It reflects the over long periods of time. Narcissism may come and desire to think well of oneself as much as, or more than, go in phases and cycles, and indeed one might predict the thought itself. As we have said, the desire to think that retest reliability scores for narcissism across a well of oneself seems rather universal, and so it alone meaningful interval (such as a year) may be lower than cannot define narcissism. However, narcissists pursue for other, more stable traits. and indulge that universal desire to an exceptional de- Why does a person’s level of narcissism change? gree. Modesty, prudence, realism, and consideration The craving to think well of oneself may be constant, for others hold most people back from indulging their but one’s degree of indulging that craving may change wish to regard themselves as superior beings, but nar- substantially. A budding narcissist may be encouraged cissists may be less restrained. by success experiences to begin to think individually Thus cravings to feel superior, and the indulgence as superior to others. After all, most people experi- of those cravings, may be the defining feature of nar- ences periods in life in which they see themselves ad- cissism. This is consistent with the addiction analogy. vancing rapidly in social status or flourishing in work and social life. Narcissists may be more inclined than nonnarcissists to see these periods of success as proof Tolerance that they are indeed as wonderful as they had hoped. They may readily embrace the positive view of Tolerance is also evident in narcissism. Narcissists self-implied by these successes and incorporate it into seem to be constantly on the lookout for new and their understanding of self and world. greater triumphs that bring them greater glory. They do The tolerance pattern of addiction comes into play not seem long content with a given level of admiration. at this point. The same level of success may lose its Ultimately this pattern is likely to be responsible for charm for the narcissist faster than for nonnarcissists, the instability of self-esteem among narcissists, as because the narcissist is so eager to accept the increase shown by Rhodewalt, Madrian, and Cheney (1998). in self-esteem as being the proper status quo. As soon Narcissists yield to the temptation to raise their self-ap- as one adapts to the status quo, it ceases to satisfy, and praisal at every opportunity, until perhaps it becomes the narcissist may begin looking for further doses of untenably high, whereupon it may crash to earth and admiration to boost the narcissist’s self-appraisal that cause the narcissist to hold a more realistic, balanced much more. self-appraisal for some time. Then the process gradu- The steady raising of self-esteem cannot however ally begins again. Whether this takes a period of days continue indefinitely. At first, self-esteem may rise as or months (or both, with differing degrees of fluctua- social feedback encourages people to recognize good tion) is not clear. traits that they actually have. Once those valid claims on self-esteem are exhausted, however, the narcissist resorts to claims that are more dubious. Indeed, the Withdrawal very concept of tolerance implies that the narcissist is not satisfied by simply recognizing all the narcissist’s Last, withdrawal is readily apparent. Narcissists legitimate virtues and talents—on the contrary, recog- seem quite reluctant to give up their favorable views of nizing them simply whets the addictive appetite to dis- self and the admiration from others that sustains those cover and enjoy more facets of the self’s ostensible views. When narcissists receive something other than wonderfulness. Then the narcissist begins to augment the admiration they crave—indifference, criticism, the realistically positive self-views with unrealistically disrespect—they exhibit considerable distress. They positive ones. turn hostile and aggressive (e.g., Bushman & At some point, however, reality is likely to intrude Baumeister, 1998), not unlike other addicts who have and quash the escalating fantasies of personal great- been denied their fix. ness. The crash is likely to be preceded by a period in which the narcissist’s overall self-estimation is unrealistically inflated. These unrealistic views of self create Trait Narcissism—or Narcissistic a serious vulnerability, because objective feedback Phases and Cycles? cannot (by definition) continue to confirm a false opin- ion. Narcissists may postpone the day of reckoning by The previous section alluded to the dynamic pro- manipulating their environment to dodge the truth and cesses of tolerance and withdrawal.

Load more