XAVIER Published by the students of Volume CVI Issue 15 since 1915 December 4, 2019 NEWSWIRE Fiat justitia, ruat caelum xaviernewswire.com SGA votes against amendments A series of changes to SGA’s constitution failed to pass on Monday BY MO JUENGER AND with the SGA executives RYAN KAMBICH throughout the process and fielded questions from sena- 6WDৼ:ULWHUV tors. Those code changes took The Student Government a while to work through. We Association (SGA) senate simply did not have the time voted against a series of ma- to do that with these consti- jor constitutional changes on tutional changes, which argu- Monday that would have re- ably deserve much more and structured much of the orga- wider conversations.” nization. Monday was SGA’s Many senators attributed final meeting before the start the failure of the plan to a of a new term with new mem- “friendly amendment” added bers in January. to the proposed amendments The proposed constitution- during Monday’s meeting. al changes aimed to usher in That amendment stated that four major revisions to the the deans of the four colleges structure of SGA beginning could choose the four senators in fall 2020: reducing the on Academic Affairs, rath- number of elected senators Photo courtesy of by Xavier Univerisity er than have those senators from 20 to 17 and establishing Student Government Association senators voted against changing the organization’s constitution. The elected by the student body. a speaker of the senate posi- proposed changes were a point of contention among some of the senators and with the Board of Elections. “This (would) bring us to tion; providing for one SGA Vice President Alfredo time constraints, in order to er wrote in a statement: “As a a total number of eight ap- vice president instead of two; Mercedes, the main propo- find a way for them to be able board, we tried to understand pointed officials,” Senator Sam creating three new appointed nent for and architect of the to have students vote for their the changes and met with Al- Peters said during the meet- cabinet positions (chief of proposed changes, stated that specific college or whatever. fredo to better understand ing. “Doubling the number of staff, director of communica- their goal was to align Xavi- But they said in our meeting how the changes affected us. nonelected students would be tions and director of finance) er’s SGA more closely with two weeks ago that, over the At the next Senate meeting problematic.” and a chief justice position; student governments at other summer, they were able to we expressed our concerns. Peters’ discontent was and requiring that each col- Jesuit universities. communicate with other uni- We know that with our cur- shared by Vice President-elect lege elect one senator to serve Mercedes introduced the versities to update their elec- rent system of voting, the and current Senator Mickey on SGA’s four-member Aca- proposed changes 12 weeks tion code.” changes being suggested Townsend. demic Affairs Committee. ago, though many senators Senator Beth Root, who would make it extremely hard, “This is a student club, This last change would and the BoE learned about was involved in the creation if not impossible, to run a fair not a faculty and staff club,” have required significant re- them as recently as three of the new constitution, ex- election. That is our only goal Townsend said in a discussion visions to the Board of Elec- weeks ago. pressed during the meeting as a board.” after the decision. tions (BoE) code to accommo- “It wasn’t until the first that she believes the measure Tiemeyer also stated that Mercedes, whose term ex- date the specific election of at week of November where could have passed if BoE was BoE sent a survey to other Je- pired on Monday, believes the least one senator from each we finally started to actually involved earlier. suit schools to learn how they Senate will discuss the con- college. All SGA senators are start changing language (in “It’s our fault for not reach- ran elections. stitutional changes further in currently elected at-large re- the constitution)…not even ing out to BoE sooner,” Root “Last semester we made coming months. He expects gardless of college member- enough to update the entire said. significant changes to the a new version to be passed in ship. SGA about it,” Mercedes said. Nonetheless, Mercedes code. As a part of that pro- February or March. Revision of the BoE code On the changes to the BoE believes that the plan fell cess, we sent out a survey to “I don’t know what exact- proved to be the sticking code, Mercedes noted, “BoE? through because of SGA over- other Jesuit schools to better ly happened,” Mercedes said. point in the final vote. Three- Not going to lie, they weren’t sight and what he perceived as understand how (they) ran “I’m hopeful that it’ll change, fourths of the senate must included… Originally, when the BoE’s inefficiency. their elections,” he said. “We because I think we just want vote in favor to pass amend- we had the conversation last “They’re lazy,” Mercedes used that information to bet- to ensure that SGA in the fu- ments to the SGA constitu- semester, it was very brief said of the BoE. “They don’t ter understand how schools ture is well off and is actually tion. After confusion during with (BoE Chair) Miles (Ti- want to work, they don’t want handle their own problems so doing things right, not really a first count, several senators emeyer)…then we complete- to put in the work behind find- that we could attempt to ad- just 15 to 20 people who are switched from affirming the ly forgot about it. And then I ing a new system. If you can dress ours. just half-in half-out, don’t re- changes to opposing them. completely forgot about BoE, talk to other schools…Other “Those small changes to ally know what they’re doing The final vote count was sev- not gonna lie. schools do it, so that means our code (during the last re- and don’t really know why en in favor, eight against and “BoE said it would be hard, there’s a way to do it.” vision) took us months to they’re there. More so people one abstained. extremely difficult, given the BoE Chair Miles Tiemey- work on. We offered to meet who are actually dedicated.” In this issue... Campus News, Page 2 Op-Eds, Page 4 Sports, Page 6 A&E, Page 7 After a spell of ALL card Veteran Newswire mem- The Crosstown Guest writer Liz Harris outages, the system is bers Ellen Siefke and Shootout is coming praises Xavier Theatre’s back to working the Ryan Kambich leave us soon. Check out what latest play, The Wolves, way it should. some wise words. to expect here. for its power. 2 December 4, 2019 Campus News xaviernewswire.com ALL Card outages are resolved Students will no longer experience issues with ALL Cards not working BY HUNTER ELLIS For many years, Xavier Xavier could not update to the intermittent, the issues with ran said. 6WDৼ:ULWHU used the same transaction newest software right away, ALL Cards in the bookstore Just as sudden as the issue This semester, many stu- system to manage all pay- Moran explained. were considered more serious appeared, it corrected itself. dents have experienced diffi- ments made through the ALL “Thinking of it in terms by Auxiliary Services. In one The reason the systems began culties with their ALL Cards Cards, including meal plans, of Apple updates, we were occasion during mid-October, to work properly again also not being accepted at various dining dollars and X-Cash. only able to go from, say, iOS the Gallagher Bookstore ex- remains unknown. on-campus vendors and vend- In August, Xavier performed 12.1 to iOS 13.1, instead of perienced a complete blackout According to Moran, while ing machines. After updates to its first update to the system. the latest and greatest update, that disabled ALL Card trans- this means the issue could re- the system, it is believed that Previously, the university felt 13.2.3, because of the limita- actions in the store for an en- appear in the future, the up- these problems will no longer the updates to the software tions in hardware on campus, tire week. dated system will hopefully occur. would not be helpful. particularly to the way we do While this outage could prevent a blackout like this According to Bill Moran, During the summer, the credit card processing,” Mo- have been connected to the from happening again. the Director of Auxiliary university was forced to up- ran said. new system, it is unlikely, Mo- “These issues aren’t accept- Services, a new transaction date the system because the Xavier also recently updat- ran said. It is believed that able for us,” Moran said. “We system has played a role in version of the software it had ed its credit card processing the issue was a more robust want the card to swipe and what are being called “outag- was set to expire at the end of systems. Moran hopes this breakdown of communica- work effortlessly 99.9% of the es” across campus. the calendar year. However, will enable the university to tions between Xavier’s and time and we don’t feel like we update its software to the lat- Follett’s transaction systems, are there yet right now.” est version during the win- Follett being the third party The ALL Card program November 25 and December 2 ter break. It is believed that operator of the bookstore in started in the 90s, and with this final update will correct Gallagher. continued updates, Xavier is Student Government any lasting issues with ALL In particular, Moran be- able to offer better services Cards. lieves that the issue resulted through the program. Association Meeting Recap However, for many stu- from one system’s firewall In the future, Moran also COURTESY OF CLARISSA DIXON dents, the limited ALL Card blocking the other’s commu- revealed that Xavier is look- usage has been aggravating. nications attempts. ing to make ALL Cards a ‡ The proposed changes to the SGA Constitu- One of the students affected “A firewall works as a filter. form of mobile credentials, tion did not pass and will be brought to next was first-year sports market- It recognizes things that are meaning ALL Cards would year’s senate to see if they would like to con- ing major Lucas Sallee, who permitted and things that ar- be attached to mobile wallets tinue the process of changing the Constitu- voiced his frustrations. en’t permitted to go into your on students’ phones. Because tion. “One late night, I wanted to system,” junior biology and of rapidly progressing tech- ‡ The following clubs were passed into be- get some pizza from the Piz- computer science double ma- nology and new updates to coming a full status club on Xavier’s campus: za ATM in Fenwick. I picked jor Umang Joshi explained. Xavier’s transaction systems, Rocket League, Diabetes Network Club, Chess the chicken bacon ranch, and Auxiliary Services did not this may be a possibility in the Club and Sports Analytics Club. when I swiped my card to pay hear about the issue until coming years. ‡ Senator Kendall King got approved money for the pizza, it got reject- three days after it started, and Until then, Xavier hopes to fund an event that he is planning. He will ed,” Sallee said. “I had to go Xavier IT still is unsure what the updates during the break have the Hamilton County Coroner come to through the process two other caused the issue in the first will fix the blackouts current- talk about the opioid epidemic, evidence test- times until it finally accepted place. ly being experienced across ing and other topics. The Institute for Health- it, and by that point I didn’t “To be honest, it was a pe- campus. care Improvement Club has been helping plan even know if I wanted the riod of our IT and Follett’s “We are going to keep this event, which will be on Jan. 23 at 6 p.m. in pizza.” pointing fingers at each other striving to make things work Kennedy Auditorium. While the issues at different and saying, ‘We didn’t change better for everyone on cam- vending machines have been anything’ to each other,” Mo- pus,” Moran said. X-Path helps students nd community at Xavier

BY ALEYA JUSTISON is a new program that offers their disorder. Schramm is confident that season, students remember 6WDৼ:ULWHU a range of accommodations “(X-Path) should be re- she made the correct decision that this stress exists among Both time and stress man- such as assistive technology spected just like all the other in coming to Xavier, as it of- all college students. This agement are difficulties all col- and note taking assistance. clubs and organizations, and fers her a path to pursue her shared experience may even lege students face from time After being accepted to I wish people would see us as writing while providing her be a way to bring the Xavier to time, but for first-year En- Xavier, a student can apply people first and our ‘mental with a close support system. community closer together, glish major Maddie Schramm to join X-Path and services illness’ second instead of the Schramm hopes that even especially those living with these skills can be more chal- will start prior to move-in other way around,” she said. in a stressful time like finals autism spectrum disorder. lenging to maintain. Schramm day. Housing accommodations “At times, it can feel like stig- has autism spectrum disorder. and scheduling assistance are ma overwhelms the social as- However, she wants people to two aspects of the pre-term pects of the group and labels see that there’s more to her programming. These ser- students as simply receiving than that. vices continue for students services.” As a new college student, throughout their time at Beyond Xavier, Schramm she faces the struggles of in- Xavier, continually building a aims to change the stigma dependent living, a new envi- support system. surrounding people on the ronment and homesickness. Aside from academics, spectrum. While in high Schramm finds that she’s ex- X-Path is also a club of which school, Schramm published a periencing many of the same Schramm enjoys being a book that inspired her to be- difficulties as her peers, yet member. come an English major. She she’s perceived as different. “I love the social aspect wants her writing to inspire “I feel like people don’t re- as well as being able to meet others as well. ally understand what autism with people who can help me Growing up, Schramm re- really is and what it’s not,” with the issues that I need. calls feeling very lonely. “I Schramm said. “People make I’ve also gotten to make new didn’t really have a role model it out to be like it’s some ter- friends through the X-Path to look up to because no one rible mental condition, but it’s program,” Schramm said. else I knew had autism,” she actually really not that hard The group takes off-cam- explained. to manage with the right sup- pus excursions like movie Her passion for writing port.” nights and has a monthly stems partially from her de- At Xavier, Schramm re- “Restaurant Club” to help fos- sire to support others. ceives support through ter a sense of community. “My goal in life is to be- X-Path, a service for students Additionally, Schramm come both a best-selling au- on the autism spectrum of- hopes the Xavier community thor and to inspire people with other disabilities to help fered by the Office of Disabil- will see X-Path as more than Photo courtesy of Maddie Schramm ity Services. just services and students them see that they, too, can 0DGGLH 6FKUDPP D ÀUVW\HDU (QJOLVK PDMRU KDV DXWLVP VSHFWUXP In its second year, X-Path with autism as more than just succeed,” she said. GLVRUGHUEXWWKDWKDVQRWVWRSSHGKHUIURPÀQGLQJDVHFRQGKRPHDW;8 @xaviernewswire U.S. & World News December 4, 2019 3 Israel fails to form new government Elections will happen in spring if a new government is not formed by Dec. 11

BY MO JUENGER Elovitch in return for positive 6WDৼ:ULWHU coverage in one of Bezeq’s media subsidiaries. Both Ne- Israel’s parliament, the tanyahu and Elovitch have Knesset, has a week left to denied all allegations against nominate a leader for a third them through personal at- attempt to form a coalition torney statements. Israeli law government. allows an indicted prime min- If members of the Knesset ister to remain in office until a do not nominate this potential verdict is reached. new prime minister, a third It is currently unclear as to election will be held next whether that law will allow spring after two elections in Netanyahu to propose a new 2019. coalition if a third election Israeli Blue and White Par- is held, prompting many to ty leader Benny Gantz was believe that the issue will be given 28 days to form a gov- brought to Israel’s Supreme ernment after current Prime Court. Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “It’s interesting how he can failed to form a coalition in still operate even when indict- September following a closely ed. The Supreme Court seems contested election dominated like the most reasonable op- by Netanyahu’s right wing Li- tion to appease the majority kud party and Gantz’ centrist of the population,” Hyde not- Blue and White party. How- ed. ever, Gantz failed to meet the Some students believe that Nov. 20 deadline, so now the a third election will be the Knesset has a chance to do so. Photo courtesy of wikicommons most effective way to appease The Blue and White party Above ballots from Israel’s 2019 election are counted. The Israeli Blue and White party leader Benny Gantz failed citizens and politicians. to form a government before the Nov. 20 deadline. The Knesset will now have until Dec. 11 to form a government. currently holds 33 seats in the “He’s facing these allega- Knesset while the Likud holds Defense Avigdor Lieberman, Netanyahu because of inves- in exchange for political fa- tions that he’s taking bribes. 32. leader of the secular nation- tigations into allegations of vors. He should not be trusted to “Running an election would alist Yisrael Beiteinu party, bribery and fraud surround- Shaul Elovitch, former ma- try to form a government,” be a hassle. When you look at played a large role in Gantz’s ing the prime minister. jority shareholder of telecom- senior biology major Mack- the Knesset, there’s too much failure to form a government. Following Gantz’s failure munications company Bezeq, enzie Turner said. “Their best tension for anything to hap- Lieberman stated that his to form a government, indict- has also been indicted in con- option is to go into the third pen and problems will arise party would only support a ments were officially brought nection to the charges facing election. It gives them a better from it,” first-year political coalition that unified both forth against Netanyahu on Netanyahu. chance of getting a candidate science major Dale Hyde said. Gantz’s and Netanyahu’s par- Nov. 21 by Attorney Gener- The most prominent of the who isn’t corrupt.” “(The Knesset) need(s) to pick ties in a government. al Avichai Mandelblit. The indictments alleges that Net- The Knesset has until Dec. a new lawmaker, someone Gantz refused to accept a indictments allege that Ne- anyahu, acting as minister of 11 to decide if a new leader with much better PR.” unified coalition while the Li- tanyahu accepted more than communications, attempted will be permitted to attempt Former Israeli Minister of kud party was still headed by $260 million in luxury items to force a merger benefitting to form a government. Week in Review Surgery, chicks, wins and “ ‘s “ ‡ A surgeon aboard a flight ‡ On Sunday, the Bengals to China had to (liter- not only got their first     ally) think on the fly to win in 351 days, a devot- save a man’s life, draining ed fan was finally freed almost a liter of urine from his rooftop exile. Nov. 18, 11:08 p.m. — Nov. 23, 1:57 p.m. — trapped in his bladder. Af- Jeff Lanham of Milan, Xavier Police assisted Res-    Three juveniles found in- ter realizing that the nee- Ind., vowed to camp on idence Life with a room side without dle in his makeshift cath- the roof of his restaurant search at the Village Apart-   authorization were warned eter was too small, the until won. His ments. A small amount of of trespassing, transport- surgeon used his mouth stay extended 57 days drug paraphernalia and ed home and released to a to drain the urine, suck- (Dec. 1). three fictitious IDs were All that work and guardian. ing it out and spitting it confiscated. Residence Life they still had to into a bucket (Nov. 21). ‡ The 96-year-old founder will follow up. JHWR൵WKHURRI Nov. 24, 3:40 a.m. — of the Apostrophe Pro- Xavier Police, Cincinnati ‡ More than 2,000 school- tection Society admitted Nov. 19, 8:28 a.m. — A Fire and Residence Life re- children in Indonesia defeat and disbanded his student parked in the Hus- sponded to Brockman Hall are receiving pet chicks organization, who’s goal man lot with 29 prior park- Nov. 24, 3:57 a.m. — for a fire alarm. An investi- to keep them off the in- was to ensure the correct ing citations was referred to Five students who were gation revealed that a pull- ternet and smartphones. usage of its punctuation the code of conduct. caught attempting to down station on the third Prizes will be award- mark. “Ignorance and climb on the roof of Bel- floor was intentionally ac- ed to the students who laziness present in mod- Nov. 20, 4:06 a.m. — larmine Chapel were re- tivated. Xavier Police is in- raise the biggest chickens ern times have won,” he Two students parked in the ferred to the code of con- vestigating. (Nov. 26). lamented (Dec. 2). C1 lot with 15 and 24 prior duct. parking citations, respec- XUPD Safety Tips tively, were referred to the code of conduct. - Be aware of your surroundings. Nov. 20, 5:07 p.m. — A Nov. 22, 11:20 p.m. — faculty member reported Xavier Police assisted Resi- - Lock the door! the theft of two flags from dence Life with a room search Whether it is your vehi- the Xavier yard near Fen- in Fenwick Place. A small cle, office or residence. wick Place. The students amount of paraphernalia, who removed the flags were marijuana and a fictitious ID -Protect and secure identified, returned the were confiscated. The stu- your valuables; do not flags and were referred to dents were referred to the leave them unattended. the code of conduct. code of conduct. Photo courtesy of Flickr Children in Indonesia can win prizes if they raise a really big chicken. 4 December 4, 2019 Opinions & Editorials xaviernewswire.com We need to talk about food at Xavier The only issues that student reported numbers as high as nourished young adults expe- primarily in America as well as get outside of the ivory tow- leadership at Xavier should be 50% of college students stat- rience increased hospitaliza- in the rest of the world, esti- er of academia, all while mak- concerned about are the is- ing that they have experienced tion, poorer health outcomes mates that there is anywhere ing Xavier a national leader in sues of food waste and food some form of food insecurity. and decreased psycho-physio- from 32 to 97 tons of wasted food waste initiatives. insecurity. Our administration The Northern Kentucky Tri- logical functioning. Access to food that could potentially be The administration or Con- could be doing so much more bunal reported that around nutrition gives these students rescued from college campus- neX needs to either name a to address these interconnect- 31% of people in Cincinnati an equal chance to succeed es within Cincinnati. There is food sustainability director or ed issues. If we, the students are facing the problem of food and contribute to the fabric of definitely enough food to go give the existing sustainabili- of Xavier, make a concerted inse- Xavier. around; it is simply a matter ty committee more power to effort, we can make a real dif- curity. Making sure that every Xavier De- of logistics. work with Cincinnati to direct ference and set up more people Fur- spite Given everything that I food that cannot be repack- in our community for success. ther- student has consistent access the fact have outlined, here are my de- aged to composting and an- Here are the facts. Various more, to nutritious food will create that the mands. aerobic digestion efforts. The surveys reviewed by the Unit- Cin- a more diverse and vibrant numbers ConneX needs to adopt an administration also needs to ed States Government Ac- cinnati student community. regard- initiative that packages left- implement a survey, similar countability Office (GAO) have ranks ing food over food from dining halls to the Sexual Harassment and third insecu- into prepackaged meals. These Sexual Violence Climate Sur- in the nation in childhood pov- rity in the Cincinnati area and meals would be placed in pub- vey, that gives us the data we erty. We don’t even need to college campuses at large look lic freezers throughout cam- need to understand the issue look out into the communities bleak, there are simple steps pus for students to pick up or on campus. surrounding Xavier to find the Xavi- to be do- Finally, I would like to make food insecurity. er com- nated to a call to action to the new Stu- Making sure that every munity Access to nutrition gives relevant dent Government executives Xavier student has consis- can take these students an equal charities to re-evaluate their priorities tent access to nutritious food to make chance to succeed and in sur- by placing issues related to will create a more diverse and a real im- contribute to the fabric of rounding food waste and insecurity on Joseph Cotton is a soph- vibrant student communi- pact on commu- their agenda. I believe that this omore Philosophy, Politics ty. This is especially true on the issue. Xavier. nities. is the best use of the SGA’s and the Public major. He is campus, considering that food The Nat- This plan time and that food insecurity a staff writer for the News- insecurity disproportional- ural Resources Defense Coun- would promote community is the most pressing issue for wire from Dearborn, Mich. ly affects non-traditional and cil, a non-profit that researches engagement and provide an Xavier and colleges across the first-generation students. Mal- issues related to sustainability opportunity for students to country. One more time, with feeling Time is a fickle thing. fellowship — felt as though it same river even once / I know or. Kevin, Heather, Alex, Jack, late to rail against the admin- For quite some time, our both stretched on for a lifetime the river will bring new lights Sydney, Luke, Aidan, Sofia, istration and die upon the hill understanding of the natural and disappeared in the blink of you’ll never see.” Hannah and all those on staff, that is more than vs. over. It’s world taught us that time was an eye. And so we come to the final you have our utmost confi- because of you that those late constant — a cascading water- It’s a funny thing staying time we’ll ever be a part of this dence and admiration for the nights in a windowless room, way unconcerned with the pre- on staff for an extra semes- fellowship. We silently type dedication, talent and friend- those last-minute interviews cious moments that make up a ter. The goodbyes get quite a away on this, our last article ship you’ve shown us through- and those sleep-deprived writ- life and our flailing attempts bit harder, and the short time we’ll file, and slowly make our out the years. One of the ing sessions were all worth it. to cling desperately to them. you’ve been given seems to way through the last stories remarkable things about jour- Thank you for being a loyal Then, Einstein introduced slip through your fingers. At we’ll copy edit in service to the nalism is that it attracts people audience, and thank you for his theory of relativity. Sud- a certain point you become Newswire. of all kinds, and the Newswire reminding us of our true mis- denly, a roaring flood crashed defensive, almost jealous, in As members of the News- is no different. Thank you for sion as student journalists. through our gentle cascade, hoarding the last hours for use wire staff, we did our best to accepting us, unconditionally, Time is a fickle thing, and and that one great certainty in the “right” way — looking find voices and stories that and helping us each to grow yet some things are timeless. was wrenched from our grasp. over the shoulders of page ed- resonated in our communi- as journalists, writers, editors Fiat justitia, ruat caelum. And yet, no matter how itors to spy on their layouts or ty and to tell them truthfully and human beings. much our experience of time (im)patiently instructing the in service to those around us. To John — our guide, men- ebbs and flows, we can still be young copy editors in hopes We hope we did so faithfully; tor and friend — we wouldn’t sure that it passes. that they will get it right. at least, we hope we frustrat- be here without you. From Time is a fickle thing. Most importantly, you hope ed enough administrators to consistent feedback on our Suddenly, it all makes sense. to leave things better than you rightfully call ourselves stu- stories and pages to texts of How late nights in a window- found them. dent journalists. If nothing encouragement when we least less room on the second floor There’s a strange sense else, we briefly had our names expected it, you have been a of Gallagher filled with a de- of distance in it. On the one on the Xavier Newswire Wiki- rock. Thank you for your sup- liriously happy fellowship of hand, there’s the impulse to pedia page. port, instruction and witty daggone tired journalists can share everything you’ve ever And now, the brook courses. banter. Ellen Siefke and Ryan Kam- feel as though they’ll stretch learned. On the other, those New things beckon, and there And finally, to our readers, bich have a combined seven on for a lifetime. How our incredibly talented, immensely is little left to say except thank more thanks are owed than a years of Newswire experience. entrance into this fellowship dedicated friends around you you. To all those journalists mere 700 words can express. This is the last edition of the feels like a lifetime ago. And already know it. As the poet who paved the way, and for Without you, we would sim- Newswire to which they will how last night — the final 1k]×P+LNPHWKHOSIXOO\SXWLW all those journalists who will ply be frustrated curmudgeons contribute. time we’ll ever be part of that “I know you can’t wash in the come next, it’s been an hon- and grammar nerds staying up Arts & Entertainment Online Editor Mission Statement For Your Information THE STAFF Editor Bridget Walsh The Xavier Newswire is com- The Xavier Newswire is pub- Editor-in-Chief 6RÀD2UGRxH] mitted to reporting the news lished weekly throughout the Kevin Thomas Photography Editor DV ZHOO DV H[SODLQ LWV VLJQLÀ- school year, except during Back Page Editor Jeff Richardson cance to readers. In addition, YDFDWLRQV DQG ÀQDO H[DPV Managing Editor Aidan Callahan through publishing opposing by the students of Xavier Heather Gast Distribution Manager viewpoints and opinions, the University, 3800 Victory Copy Editors Jack Dunn Newswire hope to foster a 3DUNZD\ &LQFLQQDWL 2+ Head Copy Editor Alex Ackerman, Tess Brew- dialogue on campus, among 2QHFRS\LVIUHHSHU Hannah Schulz er, Ryan Kambich, Maddie Business & Advertising students, faculty and staff. person per week. Marsh, Matthew Nguyen, Manager Campus News Editors Robert Ryan, Maggie Schro- Jessica Blocker Advertising *The Newswire has made Alex Budzynski eder and Ellen Siefke All inquiries should be di- the decision to stray from the Jack Dunn Interns rected to the Business & AP Style Guide when printing Staff Writers Hannah Hover, Molly Hul- Advertising Manager, Jessica the words White and Black in Opinions & Editorials Sebastian Aguilar, Joe Clark, ligan, Mo Juenger, Aleya Blocker, at 513-745-3561, reference to groups of peo- Editor Joseph Cotton, Clarissa Dix- Justison, Will Pembroke and by email at newswire@xavier. ple. We have decided to capi- Sydney Sanders on, Hunter Ellis, David Ludwig Noelle Ullery edu or at www.xaviernews- talize both. and Charlie Gstalder wire.com Sports Editor Adviser Luke Feliciano John Stowell @xaviernewswire Opinions & Editorials December 4, 2019 5 The threat of extremism: Part three The purpose of this series the United States political forced to confine ourselves to publicans are facing their own This would lead to new has been to offer responses to sphere is separated into two the old ass and pachyderm. It tectonic shifts between the au- faces in politics, new ideas be- the prevalence of extremism main parties, one more liber- is in this confinement that ex- thoritarianism of the alt right ing presented and new voic- in American society. I have al and one more conservative. tremism is born. and the small government es being heard. Candidates previously proposed criminal- The issue is not the existence When only two groups are policies of the GOP. Many would no longer have to pay izing hate speech and limiting of the Democrats and Repub- allowed notoriety, it becomes Americans are in a predica- dues to an existing hierarchy internet algorithms. While licans but rather their domi- ever more difficult to make ment in which they feel forced to be allowed to run for office this third and final piece may nance. one’s voice heard. Thus, in- to vote for a party that may — they could simply run. Cit- be the most radical, I feel it is While other parties exist creasingly extreme tactics no longer share their values; izens would be allowed to ex- the most necessary. To count- in the United States, the scope are employed. It is no longer it’s not OK and should not be press themselves in political- er extremism, we must abol- of influence of our two ma- enough to run on a platform normalized. Ideally each par- ly unique ways. Votes would ish the two-party system. jor factions means a vote out- of simply limiting govern- ty would return more to the matter, even in states that are While I am neither a con- side the binary is effectively a ment. One must argue for the stances that allowed each to currently solidly red or blue. stitutionalist nor a tradition- wasted ballot. More troubling dismantlement of an existing, rise to such prominence, but And maybe, just maybe, we alist, America was never sup- is the reality that in federal integral program to be no- with each radical candidate could go back to some sem- posed to work this way. Often elections, a vote for a Green ticed. Nor is it enough to run this reality becomes ever more blance of normality. when the two-party system is or Libertarian candidate nor- under the idea of large gov- unlikely. discussed, the words of our mally works to hurt the major ernment. One must instead Therefore, it seems that founding fathers are refer- party candidate whose values propose a radical solution to we are at a point in which the enced. George Washington, align most closely with those a problem that the public may only way to return to some James Madison and Alexan- voters (see Ralph Nader). not even care about. Low- semblance of balance and der Hamilton all spoke out This is not how America is er taxes become abolishing fairness would be to abol- against political factions in supposed to work. We are sup- Obamacare. Regulating oil ish our existing parties. This the American democratic pro- posed to have equally powerful companies becomes the Green wouldn’t be as painful as you cess. However, despite the his- voices. We are supposed to be New Deal. Arguing for what may think. We could simply torical argument for such, I do able to rally behind those we is needed is no longer enough. split the Democratic and Re- Charlie Gstalder is a not believe that political par- believe. Anyone is supposed to Hypotheticals aside, Dem- publican parties in two, with first-year English major. ties themselves are inherently have a chance, regardless of ocrats are being tugged in each new faction being al- He is a staff writer for bad. Rather, I feel we do not whether they don red or blue. two ways, with traditional lowed to espouse their ideas the Newswire from West- have enough of them. And yet every year, election moderate views on one end without being forced to cater chester, N.Y. In its current construction, or otherwise, we citizens are and socialism on another. Re- to the others within the party. On the coup in Bolivia It has been said that there office and welcome the “resto- At the time of writing this, and the animus of Ameri- on the streets. But his oppo- are decades when nothing ration” of democracy. at least 33 people have been can companies who want free sition never represented more happens and weeks when de- As anyone keeping up with murdered by the police, with reign over Bolivia’s rich re- than a minority whose class cades happen. Although the the situation can attest to, hundreds more injured. Police sources. interests are at odds with whole global order seems to the “restoration of democra- have shown no hesitance to One of those resources is Morales’s popular program be unravelling before our eyes, cy” in Bolivia has produced open fire. lithium, which Bolivia holds (which is why the protests in the turbulence across South everything but democracy. Yet the New York Times massive reserves of. As a part favor of Morales have dwarfed America in particular has all Bolivian police officers cast broke the news that Morales of Morales’s anti-imperialist those against him — yet, the but confirmed this. off the indigenous Wiphala “resigned” in the face of “huge agenda, he voiced plans to na- pro-Morales demonstrations Perhaps the rapidity of flag from their uniform, vow- protests set off by a disputed tionalize lithium. Coinciden- are violently crushed). events has contributed to the ing to “slaughter” indigenous election.” Quartz, clueless lib- tally, Tesla, a company that The protestors in oppo- confusion about the situation protestors filling the streets. erals obsessed with #Russiag- relies on lithium batteries, has sition to Morales cannot in in Bolivia. Many people have Jeanine Áñez, who has called ate, blame foreign conspiracy. seen its stock soar since the any way be compared to the assumed that the anti-Mo- indigenous Aymara celebra- Marco Rubio celebrates the chaos of the election. protests in Chile, Ecuador or rales protests belong to the tions “satanic,” entered office Bolivian people for rejecting Morales does have an op- Colombia. Not only were they same kind as that of Chile or declaring secularism to be an the “would-be autocrat” Mo- position. But his enemies numerically smaller, but their Ecuador in being a popular invention by Morales’s par- rales. The Associated Press cel- are the oligarchs and mon- class nature is entirely differ- movement against injustice. ty. Coup leader and Áñez ally ebrated Áñez as a “woman’s ied interests in his country, ent. They are more aptly com- They, uncritically, lend their Luis Fernando Camacho, who rights activist.” Fascism is not the indigenous majority. pared to the Muscadin (“per- support to the military’s re- has an explicitly Christo-Fas- lauded so long as it appeases OAS, a U.S.-funded organi- fumed”) protestors during the moval of Evo Morales from cist background, proclaimed the woke liberals of the West. zation founded to curb leftist French Revolution, who — Bolivia to be finally “for So how did we get here? Is movements in the western like the Guaido-led opposition Christ,” that “Pachamama will there any credence to the nar- hemisphere, has called his re- in Venezuela — align them- never again enter this palace.” rative that such a deposition election illegitimate. But its selves with anti-popular forc- Pachamama, an Aymaran-In- was a win for democracy? claims are based on an unof- es within their own country. dian goddess, is an allusion to It’s worth noting that Mo- ficial “quick-count” omitting Morales’s “crime” had Morales’s ethnic background. rales, the country’s first indig- the 10.6% margin of Mo- nothing to do with fraudulent In response to the ousting enous president, has cut pov- rales’s electoral victory and elections, a lie peddled by the of Morales by the military, erty by more than half and has no legal basis. For those oligarchs and their lackeys. millions of indigenous people oversaw an economy growing who love to hark on the “un- His crime “is to be a union Grayson Walker is a ju- have mobilized in support of two times the average rate in constitutionality” of Mo- leader, to be indigenous and nior Philosophy, Politics and their ousted president, with South America. Still, Morales’ rales’s fourth term in office, to be a part of the anti-im- the Public and philosophy tens of thousands pouring nationalization of key indus- they clearly have no respect perialist left.” For this, the double major. He is a guest into El Alto. In response to tries and commitment to so- for legal procedure. media crucifies him, but Evo writer for the Newswire this, the military and police cial justice has earned him the The Bolivian ruling class- Morales — a true son of the from Greenville, S.C. face down protestors with ar- resentment of local oligarchs, es’ opposition to Morales did people — will be absolved by mored vehicles. of whom Camacho belongs, materialize into a movement history. 6 December 4, 2019 Sports @xaviernewswire What to expect at this year’s Crosstown Shootout Musketeers look to retake bragging rights at home against rival Bearcats

BY LUKE FELICIANO 6SRUWV(GLWRU conference game that adds to strength of schedule. The most highly antici- pated game of the season is 3. Starting a streak nearing its arrival. Xavier men’s basketball clashes with Historically, the Crosstown rival Cincinnati for brag- Shootout is chock full of win ging rights at the Crosstown streaks between both teams. Shootout this weekend. In the last decade, Xavier has The annual meeting be- owned the matchup with a tween the teams, which is 5-4 advantage. After Satur- now on its 87th installment, day, the series will either end returns back to Cintas Center up being tied at five games in the alternating venue for- apiece for the decade or will mat. go to a 6-4 edge for the Mus- Here’s what to expect from keteers. Overall, Cincinnati is the rivalry game Saturday ahead in the series 51-35. evening. Xavier won three straight matchups from 2013-15, but 1. KenPom tells the tale of Cincinnati won last year at the tape in a deci- sive 62-47. According to kenpom.com, The last three meetings a popular method of ranking have been decided by eight or college basketball teams based Newswire photo by Desmond Fischer more points. on advanced metrics, this Xavier squares off with in-city rival Cincinnati at Cintas Center on Saturday at the annual Crosstown Luckily for the Muske- game has the expectation of Shootout. The Musketeers fell in the matchup last season, but playing at home, Xavier has an advantage. teers, home court advantage being a stout defensive battle. There is more disparity in nial NCAA Tournament con- while Jarron Cumberland, will be on their side. Xavier The Musketeers, who are cur- offensive production. Ken- tenders. This year shouldn’t who was voted the AAC Pre- has a strong winning percent- rently ranked No. 27, have an Pom’s adjusted offense has be any different, with Xavier season Player of the Year age at Cintas Center, which is adjusted defense that’s rated Xavier as the 47th best team picked to finish third in the headlines, the Bearcats. ranked as one of the tough- 16th in the country. Adjusted while Cincinnati ranks near- Big East. Cincinnati, likewise, Xavier currently stands at est venues to play at. The defense measures the number ly double that number at the was tabbed to place third in a 7-1 and plays Green Bay at Musketeers hold a 7-1 record of points a team would give 83rd spot. the American Athletic Con- home on Wednesday. Cincin- against Cincinnati when the up in 100 possessions against ference (AAC). nati, who has a 5-2 record, game is played at home. If the the average offense. Cincinna- 2. NCAA Tournament In addition, both teams played Vermont on Tuesday. Crosstown Shootout numbers ti, meanwhile, sits at No. 51 in implications have a player on their con- This early-season tilt before are any indication of Xavier’s the KenPom rankings with an ference’s First Team. Xavier conference play has strong success at its on-campus are- adjusted defense that ranks Both of these teams have a junior forward implications for March be- na, Saturday’s game should be 33rd in the nation. long history of being peren- represents the Musketeers, cause it is a built-in out of favorable. Inside the Musketeers’ record-breaking season Head coach Nate Lie shares key moments leading up to NCAA Tournament

BY JOE CLARK the conference.” minutes of the game. 6WDৼ:ULWHU At the time of the match- “I started to feel some- up, Georgetown was ranked where in that run something Xavier women’s soccer had No. 10 in the nation and was special could happen, very a historic 2019 season — the the three-time defending Big well might happen,” Lie said. Musketeers earned their first East Tournament champion. “The players thought it. Ev- NCAA Tournament win in Despite the loss, Lie voiced erything you talk about, in program history and took confidence in the team’s abil- team sports where one day home a Big East Champi- ity to make a run at the con- you coach a team where the onship. In addition to these ference title. At a team meet- whole is greater than the sum achievements, the Muske- ing following the match, he of its parts — we started to teers notched 17 wins and laid out the task at hand — to be that way. 13 shutouts, each the most in win the next five conference “All of our tactics and ev- program history. games/ erything we do as a team is “I knew that this team His confidence wasn’t based on trust of all 11 people had potential that we hadn’t misplaced. Xavier went on working in concert, and you had the previous two years,” not only to win its next five can trust the person in front third-year head coach Nate games to close out the regu- of you and behind you. Those Lie said about the 2019 team. Newswire photo by Desmond Fischer lar season but also beat Vil- concepts are really great in “I think we were more talent- Xavier women’s soccer advanced to the second round of the NCAA lanova and Georgetown to theory, but they’re really hard ed, I think we were deeper, Tournament in a season marked as one of the best in program history. win the Big East title before to observe and believe fully, I think we had more experi- ple would’ve been energet- lost, but I think that was a knocking off Virginia Tech and I think we started to be- ence and I think we had more ic about and excited about,” real interesting moment for on the road in the first round lieve those things fully.” natural leadership, so a lot of Lie said. “But I felt that we our team, because we were of the NCAA Tournament. The team closed out the the pieces were there. were missing something, and in D.C., and the two times we Xavier never trailed 2019 season with a record of “We talked about before I don’t think it was until we played there in the past we’d during that eight-game win- 17-4-2. the season, the NCAA Tour- hit conference play and lost been outclassed,” Lie recalled. ning streak, one that included The Musketeers finished nament is something that we our first game in conference “We lost that game, and a win over DePaul when the as the No. 24 ranked team kind of aspired toward, and that things started to come we had some players crying Musketeers scored in the last in the country in the United made it a goal for the first together. The urgency, the after the game after losing minute to seal the win. States Soccer Coaches Poll by time, but you don’t know un- kind of total belief of what it to Georgetown on the road, This victory led to Xavier’s season’s end, which marked til you get in a situation how a takes to win.” and it’s because they thought regular season finale against the first time in program his- team is going to react.” Lie also spoke at length they should’ve won the game Butler on the road. tory that they were ranked in One game that Lie singled about Xavier’s only other and that they knew we could On a snowy Halloween a national poll. One thing is out as important was a 1-0 conference loss, a 2-1 match beat them, he continued. “I night playing on the road, for certain: loss to Villanova on the road that the Musketeers dropped thought that was a really piv- Xavier faced a Bulldogs squad The 2019 women’s soccer to open conference play. against Georgetown in the otal point from our program, that hadn’t dropped a match team has left its mark and “We were 7-1-1 head- nation’s capital. understanding our potential on their home turf in three etched its name as one of the ing into conference play, “We outshot them 16-6 and realizing that we’re not seasons. The Musketeers most dominant teams in pro- which I think typically, peo- or something like that and far away from the standard in scored in the first and last five gram history. @xaviernewswire Arts & Entertainment December 4, 2019 7 The Wolves tackles tough issues BY LIZ HARRIS ing in this moment. It is im- Guest Writer possible not to feel her an- guish when no one shows up As Xavier celebrates 50 the Saturday after the tragedy. years of women at our uni- She kicks several soccer balls versity, the theater depart- off stage, not knowing how ment’s production of The to cope when her support sys- Wolves seems rather fitting. tem is gone, and she lies open The all-women play by Sarah on the ground, alone, when DeLappe centers on a young the blackout comes. #00 is a women’s indoor soccer team character who speaks very lit- as they attempt to navigate tle due to her anxiety, making the social and political com- these silent attempts at con- plexities of the world, battle trol and her eventual surren- their personal demons and der to the chaos all the more eventually suffer a tragic, powerful as Davidson’s face is heart-wrenching loss. wrenched with emotion. The play gets off to a slow While these were the two and sometimes hard-to-fol- standout moments, the rest of low start with frequent over- the cast was not weak by any lapping dialogue. However, means. Gigi Relic often stole once it reaches its climax, it the show as #7, and everyone is apparent that this slowness in the cast masterfully bal- is essential to establishing anced both being a member of the team dynamic, a hierar- the team and being a distinct chy based on who knows the individual. most, or rather, who appears Photo courtesy of Xavier Theatre Xavier’s production of The to know the most. Their regu- Xavier’s production of The Wolves showcases the dynamic performances of its cast. The show navigates Wolves is a brilliant showing lar Saturday warm-ups are an prevalent issues young women often face, such as eating disorders, social anxiety and the need to conform. of the women in the theater all too familiar picture, a bat- to have sex. The moments in choreography and lighting all to fit in, but clearly standing department as well as a fan- tle of “wokeness” that is more which the characters individ- coming together to produce a out. This choreography along tastic representation of what about perception than the ac- ually deal with these issues chilling moment. The frantic with Pletcher’s acting and the it means to be a young wom- tual issues. Not only does this rather than seeking support colorful lighting as well as lighting make this a standout an in our current moment in make the sudden, rapid climax from their teammates are the panic with which Olivia moment of the entire produc- time. I look forward to see- immensely dramatic, it also some of the play’s most pow- Pletcher, who plays #2, bing- tion. ing Xavier Theatre’s talent- demonstrates the play’s time- erful and are examples of the es a ziplock of orange slices Similarly, #00, who has ed women further showcased liness. production’s strongest per- conveys the frenzy of this act; crippling social anxiety, has a next semester, particularly in On top of the large-scale formances, choreography and however, the choreography is startling breakdown, the first the woman-centric musical issues the young women at- lighting design. what makes this moment feel indication to the audience that Heathers. tempt to tackle, they are all Player #2 (the young wom- real. something is off because the battling with their own is- en are known by their jersey While #2 starts her frenzy loss (one of the players dying) Total score: sues that make the play feel numbers rather than their alone, the team soon starts to is not revealed until close to very present: Abortion, eating names) struggles with an eat- run a drill, marching across the end of the play. disorders, social anxiety, the ing disorder, and her binge ep- the stage in a grid, and #2 Lauren Davidson, who need to conform and pressure isode is an example of acting, rushes to join them, trying plays #00, is downright chill- Jojo Rabbit movie is imperfect but enjoyable Hitler (Waititi). The film also was going to end, rather features Scarlett Johansson, than engrossing myself into Sam Rockwell, Alfie Allen and the world. For a movie that Stephen Merchant. clocks in at only 108 minutes, I think the film is fine. Not you’d think it would be more perfect, but better than a lot concise and quicker paced. of other movies I’ve seen this This wasn’t helped by year. My favorite part of the the annoying Adolf Hitler. film was probably the presen- Waititi is a lot of things, but tation. Charlie Chaplin is not one of In the beginning, the world them. I found his portrayal of is very bright and whimsical. fictional Hitler irritating and You almost forget that the unfunny. Maybe that was by film takes place in Nazi Ger- design (I mean, it would prob- many. As the film progress- ably be bad if I liked Hitler), es, however, the bright reds but none of the comedy from and warm tans are replaced him landed for me. with drained greens and stark Perhaps the biggest neg- greys, giving us a visual ac- ative of this film is that it’s companiment to Jojo’s charac- derivative. Waititi made this ter arc. movie already with Boy. Sure, Overall, Waititi’s direc- the relevant social commen- tion was very solid (when tary wasn’t there, but the same he wasn’t aping Wes Ander- themes were not only present, son), and there was one mo- but much more resonant. I tif in particular that had a wish he would’ve leaned a bit heart-wrenching pay off. In more into the satire rather Photo courtesy of Sltrib.com fact, the big emotional mo- than doing Boy again. The newly released movie Jojo Rabbit tells the story of a German boy who discovers a Jewish girl hiding in his KRPH7KHÀOPFRQIURQWVEOLQGQDWLRQDOLVPZLWKKXPRUDQGSURYLGHVDQLQWHUHVWLQJFRPPHQWDU\RQVRFLHW\ ments in the film were han- So, the film isn’t perfect. dled very well and almost got Very few are. Despite its BY BEN THOMSON war films, echoes of the Third troversial film of the week. me to cry. problems, though, I’m glad I Guest Writer Reich can be seen in iconic vil- Jojo Rabbit tells the story The film was well cast, saw the film. I definitely look Who knew a movie about lains such as Darth Vader or of Jojo (Roman Griffin Davis), with Rockwell and newcomer forward to seeing more from Hitler would be the most Lord Voldemort. They’ve al- a young Nazi who finds a Jew- Archie Yates being the high- Waititi. hopeful film I’ve seen this ways been understood as pure ish girl (Thomasin McKen- lights of the film. But that’s year? evil. But what if they could zie) hiding in the walls of his really where the positives end Total score: Through the lens of Amer- change? house who teaches him a valu- for me. ican cinema, Nazis have al- This is the question asked able lesson about humanity Jojo Rabbit has a pacing ways been and shall forever by Taika Waititi in his latest and the war at large. Oh, and issue. I often found myself be the bad guys. Beyond just film Jojo Rabbit, the most con- his imaginary friend is Adolf wondering when the film 8 December 4, 2019 The Backmas Page xaviernewswire.com ;DYLHU8QLYHUVLW\&RURQHU¶V2൶FH The stars got an early draft of Santa’s naughty vs. nice list, and where you Autopsy Report stand will influence your fate. BY DAVID LUDWIG, M.D. AND SEBASTIAN AGUILAR, M.D. Aries: NAUGHTY! You gained some 6WDৼ:ULWHUV weight during break... but don’t worry! On Mars, you would weigh only 37% NAME: T. Urkey DOB: 7/20/19 RACE: Turkey SEX: F of what you do here on Earth! Unfor- tunately, there’s no planet where you DATE AND TIME OF DEATH: 28 November at approximately 12 p.m. followed through on your New Year’s resolution and actually lost weight this year. Initial Findings:

- Victim found on table with multiple lacerations on wings, breasts and legs. Taurus: NICE! On Christmas Day - Victim appeared to be drowned in gravy. some boomer is gonna scream down at - Multiple bite marks left throughout the body, both human and canine. you from his window, “What’s today, - Her giblets were nowhere to be found. my fine fellow?” All you gotta do is say, “Why, it’s Christmas day!” and he’ll Final Diagnoses: send you to buy his turkey dinner with WAY more money than you need. Keep - Victim was found to have been stuffed with bread crumbs and baked at 350° F for 3 the change. hours in a baste. Slightly burnt. - The murder weapon appears to have been a large carving knife. When the blood on Gemini: NICE! Your choice team will the knife was tested back at the lab, the results came back as cranberry sauce. win the Crosstown Shootout! I assume - Victim was large enough to feed a group of four adults and two children. that means Xavier; if you’re rooting - She appears to have been “gobbled up.” for UC, I don’t understand why you’re on the nice list. Additional Comments: Cancer: THE NICEST! Get ready for - Victim appeared to be seeking a presidential pardon. No further comment has been given on this. the best Christmas party of your life! - There may be a serial killer on the loose as multiple victims have been found across There will be delicious cookies, fun the country in the same condition. carols and just when you think things can’t get better, you bump into Father Graham… under the mistletoe. Leo: NAUGHTY! You’ve got a terri- Fictionary ble person getting you a gift for your Your weekly well of wacky words™ family Secret Santa. You should’ve done a yankee swap. BY TESS BREWER 6WDৼ:ULWHU Virgo: NAUGHTY! It will snow just Festlatives [fest-lah-tives]: Family members who only seem to exist enough that you slip while leaving your around the holidays dorm, but not enough that you can build a snowman or do anything fun like that. Monochroistmas [mon-oh-kroi-st-mus]: e bland and colorless Libra: NICE! You’re going to have the Christmas of one with red/green colorblindness most fun New Year’s Eve of your life! What better way to bring in the new Nugging [nug-ging]: e act of chugging a full gallon of eggnog decade than with a massive hangover?

Tradoubtful [tra-dowt-full]: Customs of celebration that are slightly... Scorpio: THE NAUGHTIEST! You questionable. were so bad this year that Santa says “A nugging contest between me and grandma? Very tradoubtful.” he’ll beat you up if he catches you cele- brating. Maybe switch out your Christ- mas tree for a Festivus pole. Sagittarius: NICE! The moon knows you were very jealous of your friend who doesn’t have any finals next week. Unfortunately, the moon does not have the power to get you out of your finals, but it did you one better: Your friend is going to be hit by a bus.

Capricorn: NAUGHTY! You’re get- ting some crappy gifts this year, but you shouldn’t complain. The first gift ever given on Christmas was frankin- cense, and that sounds like some sort of Halloween-themed superpower. Aquarius: NAUGHTY! How the Grinch Stole Christmas? More like, “How did these porch pirates steal all my Christ- mas presents from my front door?”

Pisces: NICE! If you had been naugh- ty you would have missed your flight home, but luckily you were nice, so your break isn’t going to turn into Home Alone 7: Lost in Cincinnati.

Find the answer key in the next issue (1/15/20)! DOWN 1. This upcoming holiday begins on the 26th ACROSS 3. The main character of Home Alone is Kevin ______2. Somewhere on this page blood was mistaken for 4. The winner of the 2019 Crosstown Shooutout ______7. Some might use this word to describe my yearly egg nog 5. A fun word to describe a deep cut to the skin bath 6. Your weird uncle who only shows up at Christmas 8. For his first birthday Jesus received gifts of gold, would be considered a ______, and myrhh