th Volume XXXIII o c http://foolsguild.org QK 34D 007 Dos Joker
CowboysCowboys & Aliens Plan 9 from Apache Junction
Table of ContentS 1 Cowboys & Aliens
Hello Fool! 2 TOC (U R here) Two Mules for Princess Leia They call the wind Chewbacca If you’re reading this, then you’re a Fool. Quod erat demonstratum. 3 Wim & Michael You could look it up, you’re online. 4 Wedding Photos The Joker has made the leap - from analog to 5 A Gala at Galaxy Gulch virtual, from printed to online, from paper to 6 Party/KiQuing Pin plastic, from sublime to ridiculous, and from soup to nuts - for numerous reasons, the most salient 7 Cowboys & Aliens being money - moolah, cash, coin, cabbage, lucre, 8 A Perfect Likeness legal tender, scootie, simoleons, bread, bucks, 9 Tom’s a Fool now dough, dinero – you know, the stuff from which, 10 Poetry/OLPS by tradition, we Fools are soon parted. It costs an arm and a leg to deliver this precious 11 Calendar & Ads pamphlet to profuse portals and even with 12 Ads & YOU Kneezaparte and Elbozen, we’ve finally run current reigning... out of limbs. We also believe in embracing new st KiQuing Of Fools technology by moving into the 21 Century, *King James Charming, The 007th * but for those Old Farts among us, you may *Quing Lily Lamé, 34D* also print this merry missive to pore over and peruse in solitary splendor while passing stools Mother Folly and emitting gas perched upon your personal *KissYo Mama * Shannon Wade * porcelain pondering pedestal. editors of this humble edition: We’d also mail it to you if you so command, but William Q. Barrett you must contact us to let us know that is your Jim Kelly, Tom Rachal, Heidi B. wish, and it wouldn’t hurt to cross our palm Art/Article Mavens: Steve Bartel, with silver. $19 per year will do nicely. Wim Griffith, Craig & Chris, PayPal: http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Frivilous, W.Q. Barrett, Rover
Invaders from the OK Corral Treasure of Andromeda Strain Of course, you’d have to be a Fool to pay for what Submit art, writing, corrections, you can get for free, but we proved that in the first to change or add a Joker address: paragraph. [email protected] Foolander: Michael Kember The Fools Guild [email protected] 8967 Wonderland Avenue http://foolsguild.org LA, CA 90046-1853 KiQuing Pins/Donations - PayPal:
http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm How the West was Lost in Space in Lost was West the How
2 cha’
wej (as in 34D) in (as 3 3
Home, Home on UranusMichael and Wim http://Foolsguild.org
we are so proud to call each other Husband. other each call to proud so are we
and adequate but being married is a heart felt vow and and vow felt heart a is married being but adequate and
I have to say being Domestic Partners was a commitment commitment a was Partners Domestic being say to have I
to take our picture. our take to
on the street would break out in applause and stop us us stop and applause in out break would street the on honked, waved, and shouted “Congratulations”. People People “Congratulations”. shouted and waved, honked,
Brokeback totheFutureBuckandRoyRogers we walked in this beautiful city people driving by by driving people city beautiful this in walked we
where Fred and Paula treated us to brunch. Everywhere Everywhere brunch. to us treated Paula and Fred where
After the ceremony we walked to Absinthe restaurant restaurant Absinthe to walked we ceremony the After
his husband. his
to him because it reminds him of his own marriage to to marriage own his of him reminds it because him to
every time he marries a gay couple it means so much much so means it couple gay a marries he time every
hoped for. After the ceremony Gabriel told us that that us told Gabriel ceremony the After for. hoped
the service were more beautiful than we could have have could we than beautiful more were service the
us was so enthusiastic and heart felt. The setting and and setting The felt. heart and enthusiastic so was us
color. Gabriel, the Deputy Commissioner who married married who Commissioner Deputy the Gabriel, color.
n al to ihu rse nagyribwo of rainbow gay a in dressed us with stood Paula and
with white shirts and red silk ties. Our dear friends Fred Fred friends dear Our ties. silk red and shirts white with
Michael and I were in cream colored cashmere suits suits cashmere colored cream in were I and Michael
were being married in a huge gay cathedral. gay huge a in married being were
us as we were married. The total effect was as if we we if as was effect total The married. were we as us
former county supervisor Harvey Milk watched over over watched Milk Harvey supervisor county former
oenkdmncre nteciigadtebs f of bust the and ceiling the in carved men naked more
that leads to another smaller domed room where two two where room domed smaller another to leads that
There is a huge Italian marble staircase in the center center the in staircase marble Italian huge a is There
carved of Indiana sandstone by Henri Crenier. Henri by sandstone Indiana of carved
The Lone Ranger and Mongo Ranger The Lone look you everywhere men naked of sculptures more
dome. A spectacular space filled with columns and and columns with filled space spectacular A dome.
ourselves in the rotunda that is the interior of the the of interior the is that rotunda the in ourselves
by nude men of Madera County granite we found found we granite County Madera of men nude by
Entering the building through arches being held up up held being arches through building the Entering
than the United States Capitol. States United the than
est dome in the world, rising 307.5 ft., it is 19 ft. higher higher ft. 19 is it ft., 307.5 rising world, the in dome est
Baroque dome of Les Invalides, Paris, is the fifth larg fifth the is Paris, Invalides, Les of dome Baroque -
the 1880s. Its dome, which owes much to Mansart’s Mansart’s to much owes which dome, Its 1880s. the
ptmzdtehg-iddAeia easac f of Renaissance American high-minded the epitomized
a beautiful example of the Beaux-Arts monument that that monument Beaux-Arts the of example beautiful a
Opera to San Francisco’s City Hall building, which is is which building, Hall City Francisco’s San to Opera
On September 11, 2013 we walked from the Inn at the the at Inn the from walked we 2013 11, September On
King Kneezapart and Kueen Elbozen Wed Wed Elbozen Kueen and Kneezapart King Buck Rogers and Dale Evans Dale and Rogers Buck Three Ferengis for Sister Sara Photos of the Happy Couple! Ming the Merciless and Tonto Annie, get your Phaser Texas Ranger from Outer Space Men in Black Hats
Congratulations Wim and Michael!
You Take The Cake!
The Good The Bad and The Ferengi The and Bad The Good The http://Foolsguild.org
4 loS (as in 34D) The Wild Wild Romulen Galaxy
A Gala at Galaxy Gulch Come Cowboys and Aliens! (Are you either one?) We invite you to warp-driven, shit-kickin’ fun! It’s out of this world meets the rowdy old West And everyone’s welcome, however they’re dressed. In a hat made of tin-foil, a space-suit or Stetson,
As hideous Alien, perhaps Judy Jetson, The Jetsons” Big Valley Come covered in scales with long tentacles green, Or fresh from Durango, Deadwood, Abilene.
Now Klingons and Vulcans, put phasers on stun; Calamity Jane, put away that six-gun;
Barbarells vs Paladin Darth Vader your Death Star is now out of luck; We’ve invited Roy Rogers and big brother Buck, And Starman, and Sky King, and ET, and Trigger And Jabba the Hutt (they don’t get any bigger!) So round up your posse in carriage or horse, To rustle up a rocket-ship or saddle up The Force And come to Terra Firma, for the party of the season It’s Halloween and we are Fools, if for no other reason!
JPK 9/20/2013 Shootout at the Cybertron Corral Cybertron the at Shootout
5 vagh Have Rocket -- Will Travel, Have KiQuing Pin -- Will Party
King & Quing’s Royal Party Pin PayPal Pin orders: foolsguild.org/Donate.htm buy your QuKing Pin at the Halloween Party
PayPal for Roundup on the Milky Way Bad Day at Black Whole Saloon KiQuing Pins: foolsguild.org/Donate.htm
For a mere $69, you can acquire this Hand cast Pewter Pin/Pendant from our King/Quing, depicting the Personal 007th/34D Crest... But that’s not all... You will also receive admission to October 31, 2013 “Cowboys vs. Aliens”, December 31, 2013, “The Bond Party” AND The Feast of Fools Party, April 1st, 2014 Available now - WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!! a $90 VALUE! Save $21! Cowboys & Aliens Fools Guild Party Halloween, Thursday, October 31, 2013. Official start time 7:00 p.m. till close. Venue opens at 11:00 a.m., Come early and get your party on.
Viva Cantina (next to the Equestrian Center in Burbank) Ponderosa on Planet X Jabba The Hut Rides Again 900 Riverside Drive Burbank, CA 91506 (818) 845-2425
Overflow parking welcomed across the street at Pickwick,
Live Band provided as part of admission, “King Cotton” near Dance floor. Dinner and band break music provided by DJ Paula Foster Chambers, aka King Delecta Eubetta Genuflecta. Dinner off the menu ($15.00 of script for food) and no host bar. No refund on script. Single party admis- sion at the door $25.00, or buy a KiQuing Pin (with a special message on the back of each pin specifically to you from King James Charming the 007th and Quing Lily Lamé, 34D) KiQuing Pin $69 from Michael Kember, gets you into all three Fools Guild
parties 2013-2014; Halloween, New Years and April Fools. Showdown at the Forbidden Planet Forbidden the at Showdown http://Foolsguild.org 6 jav
Soch 7 7 (as in 007th) in (as
http://Foolsguild.org Uncle Martin and the Sundance Kid Lone RangerandYodaHopalongKenobi
Dune in the Valley, the Valley so Low The Man Who Shot Jar Jar Binks Jar Jar Who Shot The Man so Low the Valley in the Valley, Dune Butch Cassidy and The Blob The and Cassidy Butch
chorgh 8 8
http://Foolsguild.org Rough Riders of the Black Hole
INFO: aperfectlikeness.com INFO: .
or call (866) 811-4111. 811-4111. (866) call or
fremontcentretheatre.com
Tickets online from from online Tickets
S. Pasadena, CA 91030 CA Pasadena, S. 1000 Fremont Ave. Ave. Fremont 1000
Hyperspace BypassBorgMastersonTheLoneStargate Fremont Centre Theatre Centre Fremont
make great Christmas gifts! gifts! Christmas great make
already discounted.) Tickets Tickets discounted.) already
(Thursday night prices are are prices night (Thursday
Saturday or Sunday matinee. matinee. Sunday or Saturday
$5 off tickets on Friday, Friday, on tickets off $5
the ticket website to get get to website ticket the
Use the code ROVER on on ROVER code the Use
J. Roberts are terrific. are Roberts J.
cast; Bruce Ladd and Daniel Daniel and Ladd Bruce cast;
repartee. And you’ll love the the love you’ll And repartee.
was a joy to write their juicy juicy their write to joy a was
theatrical characters. It It characters. theatrical
They’re both fascinating fascinating both They’re
whole life. Come see why! why! see Come life. whole
I’ve loved these gents my my gents these loved I’ve
makes for a wildly fun drama. drama. fun wildly a for makes
imagined meeting in 1866 1866 in meeting imagined
a prickly introvert – whose whose – introvert prickly a
an irreverent extrovert and and extrovert irreverent an
w wll dfeet e – men different wildly two and photography, about about photography, and
Quickdraw McGraw vs Marvin the Martian the Martian vs Marvin McGraw Quickdraw
comedy, history, literature, literature, history, comedy,
It’s an entertaining mix of of mix entertaining an It’s
from Nov 7 to Dec 22. Dec to 7 Nov from
now run for at least 6 weeks at the lovely Fremont Centre Theatre in South Pasadena Pasadena South in Theatre Centre Fremont lovely the at weeks 6 least at for run now
reading at the Moose Lodge in 2012 and 2 fully-produced workshops, the show will will show the workshops, fully-produced 2 and 2012 in Lodge Moose the at reading
my play “A Perfect Likeness,” you’ll believe that they did. Following the first staged staged first the Following did. they that believe you’ll Likeness,” Perfect “A play my
Did authors Charles Dickens and Lewis Carroll ever meet? No. But after seeing seeing after But No. meet? ever Carroll Lewis and Dickens Charles authors Did
BY DANIEL ROVER SINGER ROVER DANIEL BY
A PERFECT LIKENESS: CARROLL PHOTOGRAPHS DICKENS PHOTOGRAPHS CARROLL LIKENESS: PERFECT A Worm Holes of the Golden West Golden the of Holes Worm http://Foolsguild.org Dances with Klingons NOT tochangethelightbulb,andoneneithernornotlightbulb. HOW MANY ZENBUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: one Three. Onetochangethelightbulb, So Iwantedtoshareabitofhumorandperhapspoem…… As ZeldaRubensteinsaid,“Comeintothelight,allarewelcome!” The samemaybesaidoftheFoolsGuild. to trustwhatevercomeswasmeantbe,includingthiswonderfulfoolishfamily. has upsanddownbutIstrivetoacceptwhatisbeforemeeachday,and tobepresent inthisworld,nottobehardonmyself friends, sogratitudeismyorderoftheday.of choice. but feelthatyouhavebecomemyfamily Ilovemybloodfamily When ImetJim’s Ithought“howfortunatetohavesuchaccomplished friendsandfamily in mebuteveryone.Iamgratefultobeawakethis. religion butawayoflifeandrecognizingthatstartedmeonmypath,journeytothelight. Iamaware of thelightnotjust the FourNoble Buddhism, TruthsPath. and theEightfold not a is rang true;Buddhism idea and every As Ireadthem,each bathroomreaderabout nature sixyearsagowhenIfoundBuddhismon thetoilet.Onedaybeganreadingmysister’s retired earlytobecomeaninvestorinsmallapartments,whichiswhatIdotoday. Moreimportantly, Idiscoveredmyspiritual I haveadegreein Theatre butthat’s notwhere life tookme;Ibecametheheadofcomputersystemsfor the LA Phil but the newmaninJimKelly’s (FrivolousII) life. - I’m shy) as I’m easy (which isn’t the Fools myself toall to introduce asked been met me,butI’ve of youknoworhave Most Tom’s aFOOL Now Wookie, SonofCochise 9 Hut Yoda Rides Again Yoda Rides I feel blessed to callyou friends”. Ifeelblessed
Life My Favorite Maverick Favorite My
wa’maH 10 10 http://Foolsguild.org
Wild Bill Conehead
Joan Hotchkis ROCKS! Hotchkis Joan
All of these Fools know that know Fools these of All
These Girdles and Socks... and Girdles These
Our Tulle-box and Hammers, and Tulle-box Our
FOOLS can have our FUN! our have can we So
Joan gives a Lot, a Bushel, a Ton, a Bushel, a Lot, a gives Joan
Our Lady’s beyond Measure! beyond Lady’s Our
With a heart of foolish Treasure, foolish of heart a With
OUR Lady of Perpetual Storage: Perpetual of Lady
Lily VonStitchTheMagnificentSevenofNine
Namaste! Tom R. Tom Namaste!
your hearts. Namaste means that I see the light within you and I honor it! it! honor I and you within light the see I that means Namaste hearts. your
family. I am forever grateful to each and every one of you for your encouraging words of love and peaceful embraces of of embraces peaceful and love of words encouraging your for you of one every and each to grateful forever am I family.
Thank you to all of you that have welcomed me in and inspired me to be. You are all a special part of me and are my my are and me of part special a all are You be. to me inspired and in me welcomed have that you of all to you Thank
the white clouds, white the
and embrace life fully in your arms. your in fully life embrace and the blue sky, blue the
Invasion of the Annie Oakley Snatchers Annie Oakley of the Invasion
Let go of the stream of distress of stream the of go Let see the flowers blooming, flowers the see
Cherish this very moment. very this Cherish the pines chanting, pines the
and offer it to everyone. to it offer and Suddenly you hear the birds singing, birds the hear you Suddenly
We should enjoy our happiness our enjoy should We for the miracles to be displayed. be to miracles the for
Come back and claim your heritage. your claim and back Come It needs you to breathe gently breathe to you needs It
stop being the destitute child. destitute the being stop
who have been going around begging for a living, a for begging around going been have who water and clouds. and water
You, the richest person on Earth, on person richest the You, shining through and containing earth and sky, and earth containing and through shining
Each moment you are alive is a gem, a is alive are you moment Each
of your beloved. your of I want to offer a handful of them to you this morning. this you to them of handful a offer to want I
the smile and the marvelous look marvelous the and smile the The cosmos is filled with precious gems. precious with filled is cosmos The
quote someone close. someone quote
very much encouraged by all of our teachers and Zen Masters to find out for ousrsleves what the truth is: trust but veryify to to veryify but trust is: truth the what ousrsleves for out find to Masters Zen and teachers our of all by encouraged much very
and how I behave in the world on a daily basis. As a Buddhist we learn to listen to those that have wisdom but we are also also are we but wisdom have that those to listen to learn we Buddhist a As basis. daily a on world the in behave I how and
This poem is by Tich Nhat Hanh, perhaps one of the most quintessential Zen Buddhist of our time. He has influenced my life life my influenced has He time. our of Buddhist Zen quintessential most the of one perhaps Hanh, Nhat Tich by is poem This
Our True Heritage True Our Belle Star Galactica Star Belle
Ewok Massacre at Endor Gulch
NYE “The Bond Party”, December 31, 2013 31, December Party”, Bond “The NYE
Cowboys & Aliens October 31, 2013 31, October Aliens & Cowboys
Look for the NEXT Cyber Joker in November in Joker Cyber NEXT the for Look
Sign up on the website for the FOOLANDER! the for website the on up Sign
Feast of Fools, April 1st, 2014 1st, April Fools, of Feast
(see pages 5 & 6 for details) for 6 & 5 pages (see http://foolsguild.org/NextParty.htm Warp SpeedalongtheOldNavahoTrail January 26, 2014, Oyster House Saloon Kissyo MamaFrolic! Studio City, First ‘14 Frolic for Fools Check outpicturesofourRetailStore 11 11 wa’maH wa’
Invaders from Galaxy Gulch Galaxy Gulch Invaders from Cisco Kid and Wall-E Bebblebrox Wall-E and Kid Cisco The Mark of Zaphod
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Posse from the Black Hole
http://www.foolsguild.org/Donate.htm Jesse James vs the Dalek Gang Dalek the vs James Jesse
12 wa’maH cha’