Stereotyping and Projecting Allow White Women and Women of Color

This commentary is drawn from a keynote address that Mary McRae, clarify the boundaries, I wanted to know how this group un- Associate Professor at New York University’s Steinhardt School of derstood the interface between feminism and multiculturalism. Education, delivered at Working Mother’s Best Companies for Women In order to clarify roles and tasks, I asked, “When talking of Color National Conference in July 2003. about oppression, how did White women deal with the fact When I initially chose the title for my talk “How do I talk to that they were the daughters, lovers, wives, sisters and moth- you my White sister?” I was filled with frustration over an ers of the White men that were identified as the oppressors?” attempt to talk openly about issues of race and ethnicity with And authority seemed implicated in how White women’s re- a group of White women at an earlier conference entitled lationships with White men would impact their work and rela- “Advancing Together: Feminism and Multiculturalism.” I have tionships with women of color. My expectation was that we used the term sister, which is used in the Black community. It would engage in some conversations around the title of the is a term from the Sixties that implies a connection, a caring, conference, and that there would be openness to discussing and it is within this frame that I attempt to speak today. racism and sexism that I had not experienced in other places. So I was excited, ready to talk about what seemed so un- speakable, so un-discussable, within most mixed groups and organizations. Stereotyping and projecting allow White My experience in the conference, however, was that all the women and women of color to maintain White women heard was my anger about racism and dis- their places in the status quo. It keeps crimination, and that they were unable to take in and work us from initiating and managing with that anger. Because they could not work with my anger, systemic changes and prevents us from they could not hear my pain. This breakdown in communica- recognizing racial differences as having tion led me to turn, once again, to other women of color, the same legitimacy as gender who were not intimidated by my anger and could hear my pain. I needed to feel heard and understood. This is some- differences. thing that often happens when women of color engage in discussions with White women: we come out to talk, end up being frustrated and thus move back to our respective groups It is interesting that I am here at this conference five years for solace and affirmation. What I hope to do here is to ad- later, again a conference sponsored predominantly by White dress this breakdown in communication, to share with you women. But this time as an invited keynote speaker, my expe- what I perceive as a problem that occurs in this process, and rience is very different from the one that I had five years ago. to make recommendations for addressing this problem. The purpose of the “Advancing Together” conference was Things Shared, Things Not Shared: to have women from a variety of racial ethnic groups, het- Sexism and Stereotypes erosexuals, lesbians, academics, and practitioners, come together and work on a series of casebooks geared toward As women we share the experience of sexism, of living in a advancing feminism and multiculturalism across several areas society that is basically patriarchal in its hierarchical structure. of counseling psychology. At first there was intense energy White women and women of color experience sexism at work, around the very idea that such a diverse group of women in our communities, at home and in many of the policies that from different constituencies had come together. Of course, govern our lives. This common struggle, things shared, is easy I needed to be clear about what we were doing and how we to talk about and to join together in various activities. would work together. Boundaries, authority, roles, and tasks There are two things that I believe create problems in our are important to me in group and organizational work. To communication: 1) the stereotypes ascribed to White women

CGO Commentaries, No. 2 and particularly to Black women, which may be similar to themselves as strong, assertive, and nurturing, then it must be those ascribed to other women of color, and 2) the experi- difficult to identify with a sense of powerlessness and vulner- ence of racism. ability. It is also hard for Black women to perceive White women, who are stereotyped as weak, as actually being pow- The early sex stereotype literature indicates that White women erful and strong. Similarly it would be hard for White women are perceived as passive, weak, fragile, and powerless.1 In their to perceive Black women as weak and vulnerable. book Our Separate Ways,2 Ella Bell and Stella Nkomo identify images that Black women have of White women. In their Now how do these stereotypes influence our interactions? view, White women use their fragile status to garner power by When in conflict with Black women, White women often take catering to White men—what Bell and Nkomo call “Miss a stance that suggests that they are weak. They cry, they shut Anne”—or they internalize and act out the behaviors often down, they act as though they have no power. This was my ascribed to White men, such as being cold, insensitive, con- experience of most of the White women at the conference I trolling, and overly ambitious—the “Snow Queen.” Another mentioned previously, and I have had similar experiences in archetype Bell and Nkomo discuss is that of the “Femme work situations. Many women of color perceive this behav- Fatale,” the flirtatious White woman who uses her sexuality to ior as a manipulation that is enacted in the service of deflect- manipulate men. While “Miss Anne” and “Femme Fatale” ing attention away from the power that comes with White comply with the weak and fragile stereotype for White women, women’s skin privilege and their affiliation with powerful the “Snow Queen” is just the opposite. White men. Perpetuating the stereotypes of being passive and weak, especially around issues related to racism, allows White In contrast, African American women are sex-stereotyped as women to see themselves as powerless in initiating change independent, assertive, and aggressive. Because of our history and making a difference in society. Black women also buy of slavery we have been depicted as strong workers and care- into the stereotype and underestimate the power of White takers. We have had to take charge of situations and do what women. If we remain stuck in these stereotypical representa- had to be done for the survival of our families and ourselves. tions of each other, we will not be able to effectively utilize Stereotypes serve as social shorthand. At their most positive, our collective strengths or empathize with our respective vul- they facilitate connection by allowing us to feel that we know nerabilities. something about another person without doing the work of actually getting to know them. At their most negative, they Things Shared, Things Not Shared: Racism allow us to feel justified in avoiding contact with others, and The experience of racism is not shared. Audre Lorde wrote, as a result we may feel we don’t have to work at making “White women fear their children will grow up to join the connections. patriarchy and testify against them, women of color fear their Beliefs that are informed by stereotypes can be so strong that children will be dragged from a car and shot down in the we tend to accept them, even about ourselves, and act as though street, and White women will turn their backs on the reasons they are true. Thus girls think they are not supposed to be the children are dying.”4 Remember some of the violent inci- good at math, women believe they are not supposed to do dents against Black men and women just in the past decade: jobs that men have traditionally done, etc. I call this internal- James Byrd in Texas, Amadou Diallo, Abner Louima, and ized sexism, which has many of the same consequences as Alberta Spruill in New York. We are not just women of color internalized racism. fighting against the patriarchy; we are women of color who live with the fear of racist acts against us and those we love. If we think about the different stereotypes ascribed to White women and Black women we can see, developmentally, how When I talk about race, I am coming from a Black womanist White girls and Black girls might process their experiences dif- perspective. Alice Walker defines a womanist as a feminist of ferently due to gender and race. Black women can take on color who is willful, serious, loving and committed to sur- roles ascribed to them such as nurturing, strong, and aggres- vival and wholeness of an entire people, male and female.5 I sive. White women can take on passive, fragile, weak, and think about race as it impacts my life and the lives of other powerless roles. We need to consider how these roles and the people of color. I think about race as a mother of a young perceptions of these roles get played out in our interactions Black man, as a sister, as a daughter and as an intimate partner. with each other. If White women have internalized percep- I have often wondered how White women balance the dual- tions of themselves as weak, passive, and powerless, then it ity of race and feminism, of White skin privilege and femi- must be difficult to identify with the power of White skin nism. Do they actively and knowingly participate in the racist privilege.3 If Black women have internalized perceptions of structure, while fighting against the sexist structure? Or is there

2 a denial of the racist structure as a way of distancing them- people I care about. Audre Lorde refers to Black women’s selves from that aspect of the struggle against oppression? It rage as being part of a symphony, with rhythms to listen to is hard for Black women and White women to talk about and learn from.8 Some research on the socialization of Black these issues if there is no understanding of where we stand and White girls around anger suggests that while White girls on issues that affect at least one side so deeply. are socialized to stifle their anger, Black girls learn that anger can be useful.9 Black women express their anger as a means Race and racism are really shared by White women and women of setting boundaries, standing up for and taking care of them- of color in that we all live in a racist society. The difference is selves, telling others what they will and will not tolerate.10 Here that women of color actively experience racism almost on a again is the issue of perceptions and stereotypes, how women daily basis. Chester Pierce calls these experiences microaggressions.6 buy into them and how they can affect behaviors and interac- Race and racism in America are closely related to power, au- tions. How does the White woman who has internalized her thority, leadership, privilege, and superiority, and women have perception of self as passive and weak relate to an angry traditionally had difficulty dealing with these issues. White Black woman whom she perceives as strong and possibly women all too often do not want to acknowledge their White aggressive? skin privilege and their access to power through affiliation with White men, who are their fathers, sons, and husbands. This White skin privilege and access to power is not available to most African American women and women of color. When Talk about racism stimulates angry this difference is put on the table, it affects communication feelings: feelings of superiority and and, unfortunately, often forces it to shut down. inferiority, feelings about authority, power, and privilege. If we think about Understanding Things Not Shared race from a systemic perspective, we Talk about racism stimulates angry feelings: feelings of supe- can ask, who has power and authority riority and inferiority, feelings about authority, power, and to make decisions, and who has privilege. If we think about race from a systemic perspective, access to those with power and we can ask, who has power and authority to make decisions, and who has access to those with power and authority? A authority? survey of women managers and professionals conducted by Catalyst found that African American, Latina, and Asian Ameri- can women lag behind White women and men of color in The stereotypes of White and Black women help us to main- the kind of jobs they hold and the pay they receive.7 The tain projections of each other. A projection is an unconscious results show that women of color do not have the same ac- way of defending ourselves by rejecting uncomfortable emo- cess to opportunities for mobility in employment as their White tions and attributing them to others. If my stereotypes of counterparts, which speaks to White skin privilege and to how White women are that they are weak, passive, and powerless the simultaneity of race and gender is a double negative for and that Black women are strong, caring, and nurturing, then women of color. While employment discrimination has been it allows me to project all the weak, passive, and powerless the experience of both White women and women of color, aspects of myself onto White women. White women be- we can see from surveys such as Catalyst’s that race and White come the weak “other.” It puts me in a difficult place because skin privilege can make a difference. How do we address this it does not allow me to hold on to the weak and powerless difference in access to opportunity as we move into a more parts of myself as a Black woman, that are indeed a reality in multicultural society? this society. My projections of these aspects of myself onto White women prevent me from being in touch with some Consequences Of Things Not Shared: parts of myself that allow others to see me as vulnerable and Anger and Fear needy. Dealing with racism means dealing with anger and fear: anger White women’s projections of Black women as nurturing and at exclusion, unquestioned privileges, racial distortions, nega- strong force White women to lose sight of the strong and tive stereotypes, stolen opportunities, betrayal, and cooptation. powerful parts of themselves. It allows them to see the anger As a Black woman, racism is a part of my daily experience. I in Black women as bad and dangerous. The angry Black must talk about it. I must be free to express my anger and woman who is justifiably angry about racism becomes the rage at racist acts and the impact of racism on the lives of

3 “angry bitch,” representing aspects of White women that are Endnotes unfeminine, undesirable, and out of character. 1 Schein, V.E. 1975. Relationships between sex-role stereotypes Many White women do not see race and racism as problems and requisite management characteristics among female managers. Journal of Applied Psychology, 60, 340-345. that affect their own lives and society as a whole, and talking about race and racism provokes anger and fear. Women of Heilman, M.E., Ilgen, D.R. and Terborg, J.R. 1995. Sex stereo- color, on the other hand, are expected to talk about race and types and their effects in the workplace: What we know and to hold on to all of the anger and rage that is stimulated by what we don’t know. Journal of Social Behavior & Personality. Spe- cial Issue: Gender in the workplace. 10(6), 3-26. this topic; women of color are also expected to educate White women about race without getting too angry. We are expected 2 Bell, E. and Nkomo, S. 2001. Our Separate Ways: Black and to find a way to contain our anger and discuss this topic in a White Women and the Struggle for Professional Identity. Boston: way that allows White women to hear it but not to experience Harvard Business School Press. the pain of our anger and frustration around it. Perhaps women 3 Connolly, M.L. & Noumair, D.A. 1997. The White Girl in Me, of color, in their stereotypical role of being strong caretakers the Colored Girl in You, and the Lesbians in Us: Crossing Bound- and nurturers, take on the anger about race in the service of aries. In M. Fine, L. Weis, L. C. Powell, & L.M. Wong (Eds.) Off White women. Perhaps our backs are the bridges. The book White: Readings on Race, Power, and Society. New York: Routledge. 322-332. This Bridge Called My Back, a collection of writings by radical women of color, asks, “How can we—this time—not use 4 Lorde, A. 1984. Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches. Trumansburg, our bodies to be thrown over a river of tormented history to NY: Crossing Press.119. bridge the gap?”11 A bridge gets walked over again and again, 5 Walker, A. 1983. In Search of Our Mother’s Garden: Womanist and I think that this is where the anger surfaces in women of Prose. San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanich. color—we perceive the burden of dealing with race as one 6 Pierce, C.M. 1975. A report on minority children. Psychiatric that is always on our backs. Annals. Jun: 5(6), 244-246. 7 Catalyst, Inc. 1999. Women of Color in Corporate Management: Summary Opportunities and Barriers. New York: Catalyst, Inc. Stereotyping and projecting allow White women and women 8 Lorde, op. cit. of color to maintain their places in the status quo. It keeps us 9 Brown, L.M. and Gilligan, C. 1993. Meeting at the crossroads: from initiating and managing systemic changes and prevents Women’s psychology and girls’ development. Feminism & Psy- us from recognizing racial differences as having the same le- chology. Feb: 3(1), 11-35. gitimacy as gender differences. Consider the changes that could Way, N. 1995. “Can’t you see the courage, the strength that I occur in society if racism was given the same energy that sex- have?”: Listening to urban adolescent girls speak about their ism has received the past two decades. What would happen if relationships. Psychology of Women Quarterly. 19(1), 107-128. consciousness of gender and race for women of color were 10 integrated into the feminist movement? What would happen Braxton, E. 1994. “Finding your bitch and loving her.” Edge Associates. if the intersectionality of race and gender were acknowledged? Integrating the various aspects of oneself, the projections of 11 Moraga, C. and Anzaldúa, G. eds. 1981. This Bridge Called My “the other,” the perceived good and bad, make for a more Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color. Watertown, MA: complex person, one who can work from different places Persephone Press. 9. with different people. It is something that I optimistically strive for and pray that more of you will do the same.

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