EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW NEWS FEATURE NEXT WEEK

Pirate Station Microsoft in the Jeff Mills Upfront FM Dock Interview Student Protestors Depose President

JEREMY THOMSON the protesters were forced back celled after surveying the strength into the campus by the Riot Police. of the military presence in the area What started as a peaceful stu- Shots were then fired into the and ominous threats from army dent protest last week in Jakarta, building, killing six [Felix 1115]. generals. Indonesia has lead to widespread Protests immediately began across Although Suharto's departure demonstration, violence and the capital, with an estimated has been warmly welcomed by pro- finally the resignation of 20,000 students occupying the testers, the newly installed leader, President Suharto after 32 years parliament building. Bacharuddin Jusuf Habibie, is seen in power. The leader of the world As the army took control of as 'more of the same' by many. fourth-largest country took the much of Jakarta, looting and rioting One of the few senior officials not decision stand down yesterday become widespread, leaving over to have a military background he is morning amid increasingly ugly 500 people dead. Worryingly, the behind many of Indonesia's eco- scenes in the city and mounting Chinese minority appeared to be a nomic and social reforms - not international pressure. In his brief target for racially-motivated always successfully. He is also a speech, Suharto also acted to dis- attacks, and most of Jakarta's close personal friend of Suharto, solve the current cabinet and Chinatown now lies in ruin. and has been accused of 'crony- immediately handed over power to Amien Rais, the leader of an ism'. his vice-president, BJ Habibie. Indonesian Muslim organisation Aimen Rais has given only con- The trouble began last Tuesday with 28 million members, has ditional support to the new leader, when around 5000 students from a emerged as the unofficial leader of pressing for elections to be held as private college lead a demonstra- the opposition to the government. soon as possible. tion to protest at delays in essential He had planned a mass demon- reforms. Towards the end of the stration in Jakarta's Freedom day, a fight suddenly broke out and Square on Wednesday, but can-

Spoof Holiday Leads Media Astray

ED SEXTON Guardian, describing the group as sponsorship money, but this has "very bright". not pacified Leeds Student Union, A group of arts students who On Wednesday, however, the who gave the group a grant of over claimed to have used sponsor- group revealed that the entire trip £1,000. Speaking to Felix Ruth ship money to finance a holiday had been fabricated, and claimed Wilkin, Communications Officer for abroad have revealed that Leeds Student Union, the trip was a spoof. expressed her displeasure The thirteen students, all at the incident, comment- third years from Leeds ing that the students The University, had collected involved would be asked Shrinking £ 1,800 from various sources "to explain themselves" to put on an exhibition called next week. She added that Newspaper 'Going Places'. On arriving at the Union would "probably at Imperial the exhibition this week, be taking further action". tutors and critics were greet- Although the students have College ed with a bowl of Sangria and promised to return money flamenco music, before to all sponsors, Ms Wilkin being led to Leeds-Bradford One of the pictues used to dupe newspapers; mentioned that many airport, where they saw the actually taken in Scarborough groups were "really unhap- Issue students apparently arriving py" with the situation. The on a plane from Spain. The stu- spoof was not part of the students' 1116 that the media attention and emo- dents alleged that they had spent tion that had been generated was a course, but a voluntary exhibition the sponsorship on a holiday in the work of art. In The Independent often put on (or not, in this case) at 22 May Costa del Sol, justifying the trip as a Terry Atkinson saw the affair as this time of year by third year 1 998 statement about the nature of art. "very successful in raising questions artists. Their tutor, Terry Atkinson, defend- about the nature of art." The stu- ed the students in Tuesday's dents have promised to repay the NEWS 22 May 1998

rr V&A "Boilerhouse News in Brief.

coupled with the marked differ- at Last Hurdle LEAGUE TABLES ences between different league DAVID ROBERTS huge selection of contemporary art. tables, can only fuel doubts as to By utilising NASA computer technol- Imperial has once again been the worth and even validity of the Designs for the Victoria & Albert ogy, the he has created a seven placed third in The Times universi- league table system. Museum enter the final planning storey building, coated in massive ty league table, published last stage this week, amid a flurry of ceramic tiles, yet with no internal week. Cambridge was top, with criticism. framework. Libeskind describes it as Oxford beating Imperial into third BIOCHEM FLOOD The design, a high-tech structure "unlike any spiral that's ever been place by just three points out of a known as "the Spiral" or more criti- built, because there's not a centre or possible thousand. In The Flooding occurred on three levels cally "the Boilerhouse", has led to its a single apex...it's a vertical slice Financial Times table, published of the Department of Biochemistry architect, Daniel Libeskind, being through time". earlier this month, Imperial came last Friday when the hose to a described as "architecture's Pol Pot". The design brief called for some- second with Oxford top. What water pump on an overnight Critics claim that the new build- thing that would make a "hugely makes The Times table interesting, experiment split. The sink below ing will be a blot on the classical avant garde statement about the if not dubious, is Imperial's score had become blocked and, as a buildings that surround it, viewing site" - and the project director, of 85 for research, much lower consequence, water spilled out the design as "an explosion in a Gwyn Miles, feels that the design than previous years and placing it into the lab and adjoining corridor cardboard box factory". Libeskind, Libeskind produced was "spot on". eleven points behind Oxford. and then down to the two levels however, is used to such criticism. In an unprecedented move, the brief Imperial kept its third place by below, where the departmental His previous work includes Berlin's also insisted that the new building scoring a high 93 in the staff-stu- stores are located. Fortunately Jewish Museum, which led to the would have to be capable of lasting dent category and a maximum most of the stock in the affected young Polish architect being branded another 120 years. Consequently, 100 for facilities spending, a find- area was salvaged. The flooding the "destroyer of Berlin". His design Libeskind has produced something ing that will no doubt please the was discovered by Security early includes seven great "voids", and which he believes will fit into the college and bemuse many stu- Friday morning. The Departmental the entire structure is based around twenty-first century, "a craft and a dents. Other universities Superintendent, Mick Rogers, lines plotted from the museum to culture for eternity". in the top ten were the London declined to comment, saying that the homes of 1050 pre-war Jews. The plans go to the Royal School of Economics and Political this sort of thing happens every Yet his design for the £75 million Borough of Kensington &. Chelsea Science and University College, day. He did say, however, that in pound extension to the current planning committee this week, and if with King's College being placed his opinion there are not enough museum is utterly different. It is a given the go-ahead, building work 18th. people around at that time to look futuristic plan, designed to create will commence in earnest later this The change in Imperial's out for faults in equipment used in the correct setting for the museum's year. 'strong' categories from last year, experiments.

Friday a-z. free m a/a after

Chunky club tunes with. KGDonizm RlGclecti c electronic^ from... Saturday STANDING HOOM ONIY England v Saudi Arabia I J Tuesday STA BAR TRIVIA W Win £50 or a crate of lager. DaVinci's 8pm 1111 Wednesday j^S^ 9-12. Free I I Thursday COCJtrAU MICH? mm&er hour emcxs mm micht. s-m 22 May 1998 NEWS Microsoft in the Dock

MARK BAKER Internet creates a vast new market. More than the ability of U.S. companies to continually 100 million people are now connected to the improve their products." In an open letter to cus- Microsoft, the world's most successful soft- Net with the figure expected to increase to a bil- tomers, Bill Gates said that the requested ware company, faces a new threat this week. lion by 2005. E-business is expected to grow changes to Windows 98 "appear to benefit a sin- The US Department of Justice (DO)) and twen- nearly a hundredfold over a five-year period and gle competitor at the expense of consumers". ty US states have filed a lawsuit against Bill traffic over the Internet is now said to be dou- Microsoft also stated that the release of Gates' all-powerful company. bling every 100 days. Windows 98 was "on schedule" to reach con- Microsoft is charged with engaging in anti- sumers on June 25. competitive and exclusionary practices designed However, most industry observers remain to maintain its monopoly in personal computer unconvinced of Microsoft's lofty principles - in operating systems and to extend that monopoly March 1997 an internal memo concluded "if we to Internet browsing software. Essentially, the take away IE from the O/S, most nav users will DOJ is seeking to stop Microsoft from integrating never switch to us." Internet Explorer (its Internet browser) into Should Microsoft lose the case, the US gov- Windows 98, a minor upgrade to its all-pervad- ernment could break up the 'supercompany' or ing PC operating system. It argues that users are regulate its business practices. Given the impor- unlikely to install a different browser, and this tance of Microsoft in the US economy (it would effectively ensure Microsoft's domination employs nearly 25,000 staff), the latter option is of the Internet browser market, as almost all PCs more likely. Microsoft would most likely be run a version of Windows. "This action will pro- forced to include less "free" software with its tect innovation by ensuring that anyone who operating system, instead selling the packages develops a software program will have a fair individually. It would also have to put a stop to opportunity to compete in the marketplace," its practice of pressurising PC manufacturers to said Joel Klein, the Assistant Attorney General in include Windows and Internet Explorer on every charge of the DOJ's Antitrust Division. Bill Gates learns the strength of his machine sold. (When Compaq decided to bun- Support for the lawsuit has come from an detractors' feelings as a conference last year. dle Netscape Navigator, Microsoft threatened to unlikely source - President Bill Clinton, speaking rescind Compaq's license to install Windows on on Tuesday after meeting EU leaders, said: "This In a typically hostile and bullish response, its desktop PCs). is not just an open-and-shut case where one Microsoft hit back at their accusers, stating that As news of the titanic legal battle was party sues somebody else ... This is something the lawsuits "are without merit and could set a released, shares in Microsoft have dropped from that will have a significant impact on our econo- harmful precedent in which government inter- $89 to $86. Bill Gates won't be losing sleep yet my." The Clinton administration is keen to see vention in a healthy, competitive and innovative though - at this price his company is still worth competition flourish as the growth of the industry would adversely affect consumers and over $200 billion.

New from CCS SHOP...

CCS SHOP Level 4, Mechanical Engineering Building, ext. 46953, [email protected] 9.30am - 5.00pm (Wed 10.00am - 5.00pm) LETTERS 22 May 1998

College Attempts to Letters to Felix... i Ban Smokers

CONSENTING be his real name, but that's not FREE MUSIC the point.) The , 'Mutant: m ADULTS Disco', is being released on Dear Jeremy, Harmless Records. I must inform I'd just like to take this oppor- Indonesia in Turmoil: Students Snot Dear Sir, the readership that this is most tunity to put in a blatant plug for I read with interest and concern definitely not a harmless record. the Haldane Music library. It's part about the proposed smoking ban in Being released at this time of year of the IC &. Science Museum college halls of residence and in means that thousands of students Library, and any student can particular the attitude of those who will rush out and buy it immediate- borrow CDs and cassettes from it. would push for such a ban. I do not ly, thinking it to be packed full of However, it quickly goes out of smoke but do like a drink and so useful hints to get them through date unless someone buys more visit pubs where smoking is an their exams, having associated it music for it. This year, that's us! So, equally common pursuit. I do not with me. Instead, their concentra- if there are any CDs you'd like to be wish to see those who enjoy the tion will be destroyed completely able to borrow - drop us a line at right to smoke have their rights by a brain-damaging cacophony of [email protected]. Hurry, iCLIA. curtailed by those who think they 'house and tracks' which because we'll be going shopping know better so I accept that I must apparently have 'a disco influence'. soon... go home smelling of stale tobacco. My reputation will be irreversibly Yours, Issue 1116 There is currently much debate damaged and I will lose all the Mark Baker &. Chris Ince about the number of people who credibility and respect I have built would otherwise live longer if it up over the years as a true pillar of 22 May 1998 wasn't for passive smoking. Since the College community. Do not the only evidence is statistical buy this album: the man is a dan- rather than clinical I think it is all a gerous and opportunistic fraud. storm in a teacup and smokers Yours sincerely, Felix, Belt Quad, Prince Consort should be left alone to do what The REAL Colin Dale they want in the privacy of their (a.k.a James Clarke, Physics 3). Intel .'72. own home, after all we are all External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072. adults and free to make our own Urgent out-of-hours internal: informed choices. The number of 48086, external: 017! 594 8086. unproven deaths from passive Deadline for letters is 6pm Tuesday. Letters may be edited for smoking in this country are about length, but will not be altered or corrected in any other way. equal to the number of deaths due Letters may be signed or anonymous, but please show your swipe Felix is produced for and on behalf to medical negligence and mal- card when submitting them. of Imperial College Union practice, about 20,000 per year. It Publication Board. makes you wonder doesn't it? Yours faithfully, Nicholas Royall ISSN 1040 - 071! Materials Dept Copyright © Felix 1998. Photo- BEWARE IMPOSTER I.C. SPORTS graj vith

Dear Felix, Printed at the Imperial College You may remember my Union Print Unit, Beit Quad, column, 'The Idiot's Guide to Prin on, 1 CENTRE Getting a First , which appeared in SW ..'4 8071. this esteemed journal last term. 7 Princes Gardens. Ext 48964 Email: [email protected]. Indeed, if you read it, you are prob- ably in the process of passing all .Credits: your exams with flying colours right 50% off student Squash . now. & Swimming fees. News Editor: Ed Sexton Anyway, as I was reading Felix Mon - Fri 8.30am - Photographic Editor: last week, I must say I was shocked Ivan Chan and appalled by what I read in the 10.45am & 2.00pm - 3.45pm Music Editors: 'Electric Cafe'. I was just checking Jasoi iha out the latest phat selection of acid Film Editoi: David Roberts greenhouse choons (or whatever Arts Editor: |ulia Harries they call it these days), when I was Features Editor: jon Trout devastated by the discovery that Free Literary Editor: William Lorenz. some impostor has nicked my .i pseudonym. In a blatant and cyni- Induction for use of the Games Editor: Mark Baker cal attempt to cash in on my suc- fitness gym! Delivery last issue: Tom Chothia cess, a certain , purport- and Ed Sexton. May the gods edly called Colin Dale, is releasing a bit ine. new album. (OK, so he might have thought of it first and it might even * Special offers available until 31st May 22 May 1998 COLUMNS

Advertisment Editorial

Every week, we find that we have ties or receiving objection, the pro- several news stories lined up that, ject floundered in college bureau- on closer investigation, evaporate cracy. FELIX (usually at the last minute). One Given this history, we were very such story this week was the pleased to hear from a union offi- Clayponds Village Hall Project. cer that the project has finally got Clayponds is a large housing the go-ahead. Faced with the rare Bound estate in South Ealing that was prospect of reporting some good bought by the college part-way news, we investigated. through construction for use as Yes, a decision had been student flats and houses. Fine so reached, but no-one really seemed far. When completing the project, to know what is was. Yes, the Editions it would be fair to say that corners design office were drawing up were cut, and while they are gener- plans, but they couldn't give us a ally pleasant enough, the majority start date. Yes, planning permis- of the dwellings were left without sion had to be obtained, but no, ALL THE ISSUES OF THE YEAR any communal space. there would not be any problems. Neither was there any social So why wasn't it happening? BOUND INTO A STURDY HARDBACK space on the estate, so life at Somehow or other, this project Clayponds is, by admission of all has been shoved into a mainte- BOOK. AND THE COST? JUST who live there, very dull. nance category. It is now languish- Years ago, some bright spark ing at the bottom of a queue, TWENTY POUNDS. suggested building a 'village hall' below the Garden Hall repairs, the for the estate - basically a function apparently impossible Montpelier Place your orders now! room and bar for use by all the res- Hall refurbishment and even the idents. General approval was ongoing Evelyn Gardens work. received, plans drawn up, and IC bureaucracy strikes again, Felix: 58072, [email protected] costings calculated. At this point, the the Clayponds Village Hall sinks something started to go wrong. sadly into the mud. Without ever running into difficul-

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And now the end is here, seems to have changed a little Secretary and one of his junior should be moved in the summer and he has faced the final since the Scott Report. Cook's Ministers failed to agree on the reshuffle. Yes. He has demonstrated curtain. The death of volte-face is truly breathtaking. It date they became aware of none of the skill required for one of Frank Sinatra brings to an was abundantly clear to most peo- Sandline's actions, further indicat- the trickiest Cabinet jobs, leaving end the career of one of the great- ple that his political flair have ing suspicious behaviour. Cook has destruction in his wake on several of est popular of the twen- change dramati- a rather patronis- his foreign trips, and has shown pre- tieth century. He achieved the rare cally (for the HI S~ i—i ing obsession cisely the type of arrogance he has feat of huge popularity across a worse), but it JjT \^ with 'the bigger criticised in others. He must go, but number of generations by the sheer seems that views . ^T" picture.' One has 1 don't envy Tony Blair, who will magnificence of his voice. To list the and principles ' » I to ask what this have to find a replacement from a man's repertoire would fill this have undergone means, if poten- Cabinet so full of mediocrity. entire copy of Felix, but he will, of an even greater HQ i tial breaches of It would seem that my army of course, be most remembered for transformation. In * UN arms embar- scouts slightly missed the mark the anthemic My Way and Theme the Scott Report ->|r* ~! goes are seen as when they gave me the form for from New York New York, known to debate, undoubt- H) trifling details. Southside/Union football extrava- singers at the other end of the artis- edly his finest Some of his offi- ganza. The Union boys did rather tic scale the world over. Indeed, I hour, when he y^J cials have sug- well at kicking the old pigskin myself have been known to sing a inflicted consider- gested that he is around Hyde Park, winning 4-0. My few bars in a few bars in my unmis- able damage on ^ "| more concerned congratulations and sincere apolo- takable mellifluous tones. Along the Conservatives, with his private gies for doubting you. But, I stand with Elvis and John Lennon, Frank he said that it would be disgraceful life and its reporting in the media, by my comments on drinking, was a master. As Max Miller if Civil Servants were dismissed for which is not a happy state of affairs chaps. Team boat race to remarked, there'll never be another. mistakes made by ministers. So for a Cabinet minister. It is difficult Southside and a second, five man It would require supreme self- what does he do over Sandline's to say, at this stage, whether he competition to the denizens of restraint for an opponent of this arms sales to Sierra Leone? He should resign, simply because he Princes Gardens. To be fair, they government not to take a modicum blames Foreign Office staff for fail- has been so evasive, moving from a did have the assistance of some of delight in the shambles sur- ing to brief him, only to be contra- position of blanket denial to claim- bloke called Baker in the second rounding the arms to Sierra Leone dicted by the Permanent Secretary, ing all the credit for the restoration one, but since he spends as much episode. The parallels with the who, sensing the embarrassment of of President Kabbah, when in fact time in Southside as most of the arms to Iraq saga are striking, the situation, reluctantly admitted the principal assistance was given staff, it seems fair enough. though the attitude of Robin Cook that Cook was being less than hon- by the Nigerian army. The easier and other members of the Cabinet est with Parliament. The Foreign question to answer is whether Cook

HDD3 La]

Barbecues cially available lighting fluids. days. Thirdly, a suitable marinade glazes the As even the most work-a-holic amongst us Barbecuing is a quick and intense way of piece and keeps the inside niiiiiiiiiiiice and moist. must have noticed, it's sunny. That means it cooking things so you need thin, succulent items. There's basically an unlimited range of marinades must be BBQ season. As every male knows Pork and lamb chops or ribs, well marbled (ie that you can concoct with whatever you have in everything there is to know about barbecuing 1 containing thin streaks of fat) beef steaks and fil- your cupboards but here are a few of my thought I'd stick my little oar in too. lets are ideal. Don't bother with cheapo burgers favourites (quantities obviously vary with the You'll need something to barbecue in. You and bangers: if they're crap to start with, they'll number of chops involved): could go and buy one of those pre-packed, pre- end up crap. More exotically, try lamb kidneys or Honey and Mustard: coaled and pre-tee expensive ready-made BBQs liver. I've never found chicken ideal for barbecues ®" 1 part grainy mustard from a superstore. But then you'd be a silly as the breasts end up completely dry and drum- *" 1 part runny honey twonk with too much money, no sense and no sticks take for ever and end up proverbially incin- Mix the two up and coat liberally. If this starts spirit of adventure (Ohh, I do love making ene- erated on the outside and raw and stringy on the burning on the grill just slap some more on. mies). Or you could buy a semi-proper stand-up inside. Fish on the other hand are superb espe- Sweet and Sour: metal jobs that you put up yourself (much much cially fatty ones such as mackerel, haddock and "~ 1 part soy sauce easier to construct than those flat-pack book- as mentioned last week, sardines. Salmon is also *" 1 part malt vinegar shelves from IKEA) which are reasonably cheap splendid although, as they tend to be quite thick, «" 1 tbl five spice powder and actually reusable. However, my preferred need advanced techniques. I'm working myself Herb and Lemon: solution by far is to make one. It's a piece of up to doing a suckling piglet but haven't quite got juice of 1 lemon cake, costs nothing and really gets those there yet. Above all, don't forget that vegetables *" several pinchfuls of herbs de provence primeval cave hugging juices going. All you need are excellent barbecued. Phat fleshy ones like «" salt and pepper are six (6) bricks and a grill from the a) oven b) aubergine (see last week's), courgette, peppers Themes and variations, that's the key. grill c) fridge d) railings for those really big steaks. and tomatoes work really well and make a Remember that marinating implies soaking the Stack the bricks up into 2 little walls, slap the grill healthy contrast to the meats. Trick of the trade: meat for a good while (a couple of hours should on top and there you go. slice them up, string them on a stick and wham- do it) so be patient and turn or baste the pieces As for fuel, it really has to be charcoal in bam you've got a kebab. so they get evenly treated. London. This is readily available in petrol stations The final part of the jigsaw is marinating. In the mellow haze when you're fully stuffed and comer shops. I think lumpwood charcoal is There are several points to this. The traditional and the bottles are getting empty consider bung- better than the reconstituted stuff but that may be reason for marinating meat is to make it tender ing a few bananas (skins and all) into what's left pure pretentiousness. Nothing beats paper and by breaking down the fibres using culinary acids of the coals for around 10 minutes. They'll cook kindling (broken kitchen chairs or banister spin- such as vinegar, lemon juice and shite wines. in their own juices and become succulently ners are perfect and should be readily available by Secondly, marinades add loads of flavour which mushy. Mmmmmh! A great opportunity to burn this time of the year) for lighting a fire and neither can mask any nasty tastes in spoilt or off meat your fingers as you peel them. smell as horrible nor cost as much as commer- which hopefully shouldn't be a problem these 22 May 1998 COLUMNS

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Summer

Thinking about this has made sweltering building, not to visit the Exam halls are one of two me wonder whether the summer is drinks machine downstairs, but things: either a) cold enough to in fact a good time to do any work instead to stagger across campus freeze your hands to the desk if you at all. Furthermore, the nean- towards Chemistry in the hope of a are foolish enough to touch it or b) derthals who, presumably back in nice refreshing glass of liquid nitro- hot enough to melt your ruler so the Stone Age, decided, "Hey! I've gen and some dry ice biscuits. This that it resembles one of those got a swell idea! Let's set all exams left me behind, eyes aching, staring Wham chewy bars. This can lead to in the summer! Country-wide!" are pointlessly at the hallucinogenic the further problem that if you never likely to have been MENSA green screen and absent-mindedly drop your pen candidates. In fact, they are likely attempting to fix the vertical hold into this molten mass of straight- to have been amongst the most for the umpteenth time, while, to edge it will sink in and remain there brainless cretins that concatenation my left, my experiment slowly forever, a monument to the stupid- These bricks belong on page six. of DNA has ever produced. Only overheated, grinned maliciously at ity of administration. Not only this, They wouldn't fit, but are too once previously (as far as I can me, and exploded. I can still see but the aforementioned medical good to waste remember), in the case of a certain Lissajou's figures in my nightmares miseries are enough to put all but Mr. Adolf Hitler, has so much to this day. the most career-minded people off ummer, it's for chilling out, power been erroneously awarded Whether the following is their work, the remainder becom- and not for vomiting, melting to such a gibbering bunch of thor- backed by statistical evidence I ing all poetic and swapping their S oughly mad and really quite crimi- rulers or staring at an oscillo- know not, but I am a firm believer blue shift theory and knowledge of scope. nally sadistic maniacs. that all the worst illness crops up in cloud chambers for blue sky theory, I am currently in danger of Doing my lab work at this time the summer. With temperatures filled with clouds of its own. Others dropping about four per cent of my last year was a period of my life rising, personal hygiene decreasing, simply become violently ill, and I year mark. The basic reason for this which I am not terribly likely to con- and lots of lovely rotting food would not have liked to have been is that I have a piece of laboratory sider with any retrospective joy. about, the bacteria and viruses all the marker for the GCSE paper on work outstanding. I will not go into The misery of sitting around baking come out to play, like the annoying which a friend of mine violently and the whys and wherefores of the sit- hot soldering apparatus while the kids at the front of our house on a repeatedly threw up. uation now (but if Dr. Payne is sun inexorably increased the room Saturday. Add to this the problem Exams in the summer? Insanity. reading, it involves a week of illness temperature was, bluntly, a little of all the lovely pollen floating Go back, have another think, and plus my grandmother back home over the top. Many students found around, and hey presto! A recipe try again. not being very well. Honestly). themselves sneaking out of the for disaster is conceived. All Campbell

Gemini (22/5 <^lffM Scorpio (2- -22/11) Inspired by the chjjlrful |||ather, the radiant The oppress rejMBibility weighs Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) Sun symbolises re»rding| personal achieve- heavily upon iBPers. The effi- Acute pain fora#i||^fWl||gilTW|ourable and ment and glowing Access As you relish the cient Ten hat selective del- truthful of individuals tQay^akjiMll falsely. The excitement of satisjaction.jyour dynamic atti- egation an constitute the remedy concerned SixWcl|^lerri^^/ou that patient tude enables =ent of intimate ambi- to your prolonged infusion and exhaustion. and attentive listening is the heart of bonding tions. communication.

Cancer (22/6 -.22/7) Pisces (19/2-2* Whatever frustrates or you this An unorthodox appf^feh tcj||Hmgering obstacle week, there are H only volunteers. The horoscopes liberates your spirit from the lestrictive con- restoring inflti«n|e. of S ligthjjrfls the tender straints of repetition. Jfie discovery of a latent wounds of turbule and silent regret, skill, suggested bjwfthe nttented Seven of so trust your guiding instincts. Swords, enableswffie directiorllPprogress of with labour. Leo (23/7 - 23/8) Embroiled in a dellate siBation of confronta- Aries (21/3 - 20, tion, diplomatic^rSjegiesJIsult in mutual com- The comforting support a close friend allevi- promise and Amiable recJBciliation. Your quali- Nana ates problematic circu stances beyond the ties of trust 4kcnspcntanJky, highlighted by the boundaries realistic confi 1. The contemplative carefree Fool. Irapfre thewtafe of cumulative Five of Pentacles gathers:|'esilience through the tension. recognition of stability and experience.

Virgo (24/8 „,22/9) Sagittarius (23/M - ^liigkjp. Taurus (21/4 -,21$ Wisdom is the\»erniwTice determining your The confident Kraht ~o|3Hds reveals your Beware of hasty decil 'ou reach a critical pathway througf life. «rflunprocrastination desire for challengMi^^rapres. Although con- turning point in yJGr prof! ional career or is a dangerousfcjef m tinfrthe mysterious servative self-jpjj^l^fction S the ultimate law of emotional cycle. Thf pensive o of Wands sig- Magician grants you admi^pi»uthority within nature, the erement at risk or thrill of fortune nals a pause for refffective plj ing and the cau- your immediate entourage. often serve as beneficial stimulation. tious assessment of of

Libra (23/9 - 23/10) Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) , The sensuous^ QueejFof PAtacle* governs your A chalice of tears, represeJtediBy the isolated feelings of seffOWTC* templWSUr**dnd repressed Ace of Cups.MeflecA^he^potional turmoil

admiration. I"^^SJa^^mMi^6*"5 fantas'es' clouding your aurW Hc«/e%tt\|X|ure is not defeat since constrictive'imfgmatlWmroadens the until you abandonl|j|causeT sjlyour ingrained horizons of your creative capacities. determination overcd Fll distress. MUSIC 22 May 1998

4& ** vALBUM« S

*\ CURVE Come Clean *'/2

ive years after their last LP, TUNES? It's as though half the shape by blue steel distortion. And F Cuckoo, Curve have finally album has been remixed to afford as the dry ice begins to creep from tackled that 'difficult' third the surgical removal of any melody my stereo, Something Familiar album with all the finesse of a whatsoever. When taken to its log- turns out to be just that, a passable 2501b line-backer. In their absence ical extreme by the likes of rehash of Frozen. But a rehash they have been hailed as the origi- Witchman (a sometime collabora- nonetheless, and it's just not nators of a sound lifted wholesale tor), this abrasive deflowering may enough to rescue an album that by Garbage and Sneaker Pimps, a have some merit, but the slick pro- would've just about made a good comparison that is trotted out in duction renders tracks like Dirty EP. My advice is to seek out the EVERY SINGLE REVIEW of work by High too anaemic to have any real Pubic Fruit collection of EPs, and either band (see how easy it is to impact. In their quieter moments return Come Clean to it's rightful fall into the cliche trap, Norman. (Cotton Candy, Beyond Reach), the place - the grave. El Must do better...). The trouble with gaze is drawn shoe-ward, the trip Norm canonising dead heroes in this stumbles rather than hops (thanks manner is that when they are rean- to Tim Simenon), and it just allows imated, the corrupted, flesh hang- us to hear some truly awful lyrics. ing from their shambling frames, Remember Chinese Burn, used on they never seem quite as attractive the Sony Minidisc campaign? as you remember. Sure, their defin- Apparently "It cuts her up like Irish ing characteristics are still there - mortar / Mother's Pride is what we the goth-hop industrialism, Toni taught her". Er, right. Halliday' s frosty come-ons - but Recovery is a glimpse of old WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN glories, powerful riff whipped into

CATHERINE WHEEL THE PECADILOES Adam And Eve * * Caught On Venus * * *

such a thing. pered and screaming vocals. But it Throughout this touring, some- is also very funky with plenty of thing in the band has changed. thick bass underlying each track. Once a band very dark in its sound Stand out tracks include the and reasonably heavy, it seems Wanting Song and Deep Reversal they may have been affected by the which both provide plenty of the success of indie, as the new album above. is much lighter, almost to the The biggest problem with the extent that they resemble an early album is that the songs are all far Del Amitri, but lacking the singer or too similar (with the exception of the tunes. Trying to conceive that Kirsten's Beach which comes over this band could squeeze a single all calypso). All too often 1 was from this LP is hard, as no song checking my CD player thinking I even catches your attention and was still listening to one track only the words' meanings are so vague, to find that we had in fact moved or any of you who think that perhaps in an attempt to be deep he first thing to notice about on. Still, if you like what you hear, F this is Catherine Wheel's or humourous. T the Pecadiloes is their rubbish which 1 did, then this is not too debut album, I can under- It's always a shame to see any name and how gay they look great a crime. If you have all the stand why you continue to believe band transform their sound, purely on the inner sleeve. Out of interest good releases from the last few this misconception. They have for the sake of popularity. It rarely I looked up pecadilo in the dictio- weeks or so and still have a spare returned once again with their fifth works, but for Catherine Wheel it nary and discovered that not only thirteen quid lying around you album and we must ask ourselves, has resulted in even worse. At least was it spelt with a double T but could do a lot worse than this. El what happened to the last four? when they were playing their type that it meant a 'trivial offense'. It Alex It appears that the band have of music, it was bad music that you was therefore a great disappoint- been touring constantly since their in some ways had to respect them ment to find that this album is not debut, in the effort of trying to for, but now it's just bad music in crap because it would have made drum up some kind of fan bass, 1 an attempt to tap into the indie for a very easy review. almost had the pleasure of seeing sounds of the moment. 131 The music is quite nice in an Tha Bomb! them myself, when supporting the David H. inoffensive kind of way. At first lis- Bluetones in '96, but thankfully I ten it would be easy to write this lot Tha Bomb will be back next week got Geneva instead, a band who off as dull indie almost rans but lis- with the chief himself, Milen. He'll comparatively have come a long ten again and you are rewarded have the low down on the past, way since then. I then found out with a variety of interesting effects current and future r'n'b/ that they have also supported Bush and sounds that you didn't notice happenings coming your way. throughout America and one can the first time. There is a definite only ponder how they managed punk feel to the album; harsh whis- 22 May 1998 MUSIC

ALBUMS SEAN LENNON Into The Sun

n 18th May, Sean Lennon with almost the same voice as his flash points are the poppy and O released Into The Sun. On father. These factors will probably wonderfully reminiscent Breeze, the same day, Julian result in a higher position for the instrumental, Lennon released Photograph Smile. Photograph Smile come the album Photosynthesis and the wander However fabricated this turn of charts. But while Julian may have into Country territory that is Part events may be, the outcome can be inherited the vocal chords, Sean One of The Cowboy Trilogy, which good for only one of the half-broth- has had the greater fortune in is surprisingly captivating. No, seri- ers. By now, they are used to being receiving his father's unwillingness ously, it is. second best to their late father. to be bounded musically. Into The Sean has produced a diverse What was his name, again? Jason? Sun is an exploration into different collection of experimental yet still Jack? Ringo? Anyway, it doesn't musical territories tied together by accessible songs and deserves all matter. The point is that they are Sean's distinctive voice. At times, the success that he probably won't both used to coming second best his voice sounds a bit distant, get. Julian's album may sell a lot to one Lennon. What's it going to though. It's as if he is detaching more than Sean's but I think we be like coming second best to a himself from his own lyrics, afraid know who the best Lennon really is. second rate version of your dad? to really think too deeply about his Or should that be was? d Frivolous complex constructing subject matter while performing it. Dennis aside, it does seem that the half- This is painfully clear on the melan- brothers are destined to have com- cholic Wasted where the smoky, parisons made with their name- after hours entangles itself sakes. with the only lyric, "It's all but a Julian's album has been pro- waste to be in love." Bittersweet is moted better over here in the UK not the word. Well, actually it is, and Julian has been blessed/cursed but you know what I mean. Other

SINGLES

Kenickie - / Would Fix You Ultra Living - Homesick weak ska-revivalist bollocks to me. You've probably heard this song without know- Obviously influenced by Massive Attack, ing it, mainly because it doesn't sound like a Homesick is a stunning vocal and musical per- Ultrasound - Stay Young Kenickie song. Gone are the shouty bumfluff formance, tinged with the urban simplicity of Like labelmates Suede, Ultrasound have got a songs like Punka. I Would Fix You shows a new- Arrested Development pretty good line in hammy epics that have all found sense of (whisper it) maturity. That does- the requisite crashing guitars and overwrought n't mean this song is a tired dirge. In fact, it's Midget - The Day Of Your Life vocals. It's all well and good, especially as I'm great. Perfect for this time of year with its "sum- As with previous single Invisible Balloon, the occasionally partial to a bit of Wish You Were mer's coming" vibe. pre-pubescent singer ruins an otherwise great Here-era floyd, but the chorus of "My advice to song, half Shed Seven, half . all you boys and all you girls is never try to be The Pecadiloes - Kirs ten's Bench Ed old / I wanna stay young" is terribly patronising, An indie song that walks down the same path as and smacks of the mid-life desperation of a

The Eels, Kirsten's Beach shows promise for THE ESSENTIAL CHOON wannabe pop star. Being young is shit. End of their forthcoming album. Contains the wonder- story. Now go and get a life. ful line "I am running to my girlfriend, 'cos she The Delagados - Pull the Wires from the Wall loves me for being wrong." Eighteen months ago The Delgados were just Moloko - The Flipside another Scottish Pavement tribute band. They Leather pants so tight they had to be sprayed Liberty 37 - Stuffed F..P. just happened to own Chemikal Underground, on. Hips that swing with metronomic precision. Using the same growling guitar riff as every and so have been allowed the space to develop Enough beats to work up a little sweat. The heavy metal wannabe, these tracks fail to stick into a truly beautiful prospect. Pull the Wires, voice of a cat who's just supped the sweetest of in the brain. Good vocals, however, stop this like their previous single, is dominated by the creams. Oh God, I think I'm ready pass the from being trash. sweet voice of Emma Pollock whose sour lyrics Kleenex, Mother. make for a gorgeous contrast. Mauron Chanson Super Furry Animals - Ice Hockey Hair E.P. is more standard fare, but still bounces along in Barry Adamson - Can't Get Loose Exceptional song title. And the songs are even a way Bis will always be too annoying to really As good as anything on the class Oedipus better. This E.P. comprises tracks left over from pull off as effectively as this. Scmoedipus LP. Essentially it's Nick Cave does their Radiator album, which shows what a for- disco, the songs underpinned by an entertain- midable songwriting talent the SFA's are. Ice ing, and usually very seedy, narrative. But the Hockey Hair is wonderful, containing everything Crandaddy - Summer Here Kids way Barry swings into the chorus is pure Vegas that any song could ever have: gripping intro, Frank Black must be kicking himself. Grandaddy - the new Sinatra, anyone? haunting verses with the expected obscure appropriate his nasal wail and surf-punk chorus- lyrics, propelling chorus akin to Pet Sounds, es, and do a much better job with them too. The Urusei Yatsura - Slain by Elf sing-a-long repeated refrain and the usual real gem here is Levitz, though, which slow- Worrying Tolkien theme fortunately restricted to assortment of strange sounds. Oh, and opening bums to a roaring Laptop conclusion after some the title alone, Urusei Yatsura are still doing track Smokin' is superb as well. particularly unhappy falsetto vocals. Get the Sonic Youth better than they ever did them- Quaaludes in and wallow. selves, and are clearly having a (teenage) riot in Mica Paris - Stay the process. Doesn't quite live up to the live Return of the early '90s soul diva. Her vocals are Gold Blade - 16 Tons experience, but then we can't have sweaty six- as impressive as ever but the track suffers from More soul-punk stuff from the self-proclaimed teen year olds crowd-surfing in our bedrooms all poor songwriting and predictable production. saviours of Hard Bop. Sounds more like piss- the time, can we? H Norm elcome to the Electric Cafe for this for me, despite the fact that it was d'n'b. But Shuff: The main factor is that if we own our week. First of all, don't forget that there were ways around it and I knew how to label we can put out the music we want. It W today (Friday 22nd May) the Electric crack the live angle. I wouldn't say the live thing allows us to keep our artistic morals as such. Cafe will be descending on the Union for a is particularly faithful to the album but I'm not whole night at the controls of the chillout room. afraid of that. I think that's the whole point. If With jazz being your main influence, why do If you have read the column or listened to the you're getting musicians involved then they're think that form of music has inspired so many radio show and would like to see the cafe in a going to interpret things and I'm not going to tell different dance mutations, from pure techno more "live" atmosphere, or if you just want to them "You're playing that wrong." So lots of right through to d'n'b? come down and check out some forward think- other things would come out of the fact that that Shuff: Because the term jazz is a freeform ing, relaxed electronic music, then please come it's been taken live and tunes are taking their own style of music. It is all about working on certain down this week. direction. I think that's a good thing. I think the moods and tonal qualities rather than making The main feature of the column this week is result is going to show in the next set of materi- pop tunes. It is more about feeling and how you the drum'n'bass outfit King Kooba. Consisting of al we put out. We are definitely going to put can throw out the rule book. With jazz there are two childhood friends (DJ Shuff no rules, that's the whole beauty and Charlie Tate), the Koobas JM^^^^^M of the music. It's a style that has have amassed critical acclaim for < Wm no boundaries so that is why I their recent album The Imperial II think it slides into the dance Solution, which is out on their own T» Hj world so well. With any style of label, Second Skin Records, i dance music you can interpret a caught up with them and asked Sni jazz mood into that style. them about "live drum'n'bass", life and the universe... As a Dj I've noticed that you incorporate many different Can you explain what you do in styles into your set Shuff. Why terms of music for people who is this? have never heard of you before? Shuff: Normally I tend to build Shuff: Basically we've just 1 from a sort of jazz-dance/big-beat completed our first album, called 1 introduction for the first half- the Imperial Solution, which is a hour, and then I like to go into the sort of jazz-orientated dance-style sort of jungle jazz sort of things album. There are a few downbeat and then mould in harder style tracks on it, but basically the main stuff to the middle of the set. But concentration on the first album basically I'm not very much into was a sort of d'n'b style. We've been together more live input into the recorded material. playing one type of music. for about two or three now; working and of late Nowadays with the technology in dance music I think for me as a punter going to a club progressing into more of a variety of styles. But you can play backing tracks off pre-recorded there's nothing worse than a Dj playing one the main agenda is a sort of jazz origin. DATs and mix sounds off a machine over style, even if he's mixing superbly. I'm not into them. Why do you feel you need to get a real three hours of drilling music. After a while you So taking jazz music and pushing it further? drummer and throw out the backing tracks? just want to climb up the walls! It's OK but the Shuff: Yes. Charlie: It's basically my dislike of it because DJs not taking you anywhere. This also makes I've seen it so many times. People paying sense with the music we make because if I was Would you describe yourselves as a d'n'b out- through the nose to see this. OK I know that a 100% jungle DJ then I wouldn't be playing half fit? people will pay to go and see a DJ but I think the of Kooba's music! Shuff: Well we're trying to avoid it, but obvi- whole point of going to see live acts is that in ously it does happen. Up to this point a lot of essence, it should be a show, and be the real Do you see Djing as an art form? the material has been of a d'n'b type but we are thing. I've been and seen people with a DAT and Shuff: Last year I was in Belgium and I saw endeavouring to widen our spectrum as such mucking around on top of it on the desk and 1 Juan Atkins playing. I'd never seen him before and work on different styles in the future. We've find it offensive actually! but I'd heard his records and heard he is an got some big-beat vibes which we are going to amazing Dj. From about the second track in you push through. You own a called Second Skin. could see that this guy was electric! He was Tell us about that. basically playing with three decks, but in a way Do you find pressure in that because people Charlie: We're all partners in the label. It's that he was rewinding certain elements of tunes might tend to concentrate on one style and been established for about eighteen months and they just kept on coming back during the criticise you for being too broad? now and we all have vested interests in it. We set. It was amazing. You could see how he was Shuff: Yeah there is a danger of that, but own the company, we put out music on the injecting these little things back into his set. He basically the criteria is that if it is a quality piece label and we want to promote the product as was using his decks as musical instruments, so of music, then whatever vibe it is, it's going to much as possible. in that case, yes! get the respect it deserves. If we're going to do something on a big-beat or downbeat level then With so many labels around nowadays, why Many thanks to King Kooba (DJ Shuff + the chances are that we'll get someone in or do did you decide to start your own? Charlie) and also Emily, Klaus and Anton at Main a ourselves on a more dancefloor orien- Charlie: Theoretically we could have taken it Source for setting up the interview! You can hear tated vibe anyway. to any label of that ilk but my personal experi- the whole interview and also an hour long mix if ence of dealing with record labels is that they you tune into the Electric Cafe this Sunday night You're very much a live act. How do you take too much control of the situation. It's very from midnight till 2am the next morning. approach the live aspect of your music? difficult. Sometimes you've set something down al;ck. Charlie: I suppose Shuff's the DJ and I come and you're following a direction and it's perfect from a more kind of musical background. I was and the minute they turn and say, "you can't do playing live music for years. So it was quite easy this." 22 May 1998 MUSIC

THE ELECTRIC CAFE - ALBUM REVIEWS PURPOSE MAKER - JEFF MILLS (REACT RECORDS)

Release Date: Tuesday 26/05/98

' eff Mills is adored worldwide by techno kids. are not quite fluid but won't let you escape once the effect is electrifying! His fast and furious DJing has wowed crowds you're in the groove! My personal favourite track is Alarms. A very on all corners of the globe. He also releases The Bells is one of Jeff's hardest offerings simple track, this consists of a looped sample ]usic (the majority of his DJing material is his since his early work on pioneering label over a very funky beat. This works as house or own records) under two labels, Axis and techno and has an infectious groove. Purpose Maker. He claims that the material on There are some slower and deeper tracks on Axis signifies music for the mind, and the output this compilation. Check out Medicine Man for on Purpose Maker corresponds to the mechani- one example of such a track. It is one of a group cal parts of the body; for example the hands of unreleased tracks on the album. So you can which are the main DJing tools! even be one up on the vinyl DJs by owning this! Jeff's back catalogue is mostly on a vinyl- The tribal nature of some of the Purpose only format, so it was a great relief to non-DJ Maker releases is also apparent here. Check out dance fans when React Records decided to Paradise, a more dirty sounding track with a license and release the highlights of each label. shuffling rhythm and heavy bass. Masterplan is The Axis compilation is already out (entitled The almost completely percussive. The rhythms are Other Day). Next week sees the release of led and cut up by fierce stabs of breakbeats. This Purpose Maker. Both follow on from the is hard and dark and dangerous! now-classic Live At The Liquid Rooms CD which The Purpose Maker compilation is not music gave many the chance to sample Jeff's unique to be messed with, and may be lost on many three deck DJing abilities. people, but there is no denying it will please all The album begins with The Dancer, a funky his fans and anyone who is curious enough to hybrid of techno meets folk music (that's hon- want to check out the psyche of this modem estly the best way I can describe it). This has a day musical hero. very bumpy jumpy sound and is suitable as pure Underground Resistance. When he played this al;ck. techno but is not so clean or minimal as the at the End last year it left everybody gasping. norm. Reverting is the second track to be lifted Casa is the next track and is actually lifted from the Axis Purpose Maker EP. Many regard from the Axis label, but an EP which was called that record to be Jeff's finest work to date. Purpose Maker and marked the begin of this Reverting contains more funky looped rhythms. series. This track features hypnotic rhythms that A sort of xylophone sound comes in midway and r JCR CATERING SERVICES HAIRSALON 15a Harrington Road South Kensington London SW7 3ES Due to refurbishment of the Junior (1 Minute walk from South Kensington Tube) Common Room during the summer, CUT & BLOW DRY please note that the BREAKFAST SERVICE and CURRY BAR will be BY OUR TOP STYLISTS transferred to the MDH (Main Dining £15 LADIES Hall) on 8 June until the end of term - £13 MEN 26 June. Normal Price £30

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ACCESS VISA MASTERCARD CASH CHEQUES 12 MUSIC 22 May 1998

CLUBSCENE FEATURE Underground All Around Town

1 have under taken a death defying mission to track down the people behind one of the leading pirate radio stations in London town Upfront 99.3 FM. Risking life 'n' limb all in the name of journalism, I was taken blindfolded to a secret location somewhere south of the river where I met up with the people behind the scenes. They kindly gave me the low-down on all things Pirate stylee.

Right! Here are some of the facts and figures ly unknown Dj (to them) a chance to play reg- respect to Redz & Pypee), jayDee, KCK, Para about Upfront FM: They play a strict diet of only ularly on their station just on his mixing abil- & Risky and you can catch them on Upfront @ the freshest underground garage sounds ity and me hassling em a little? Well let me The Dexter Sat 2 - 4pm around, with a touch of old skool / old house 'n' tell ya - not many. It's people like this that jayDee Sat 4 - 6pm garage thrown in and nothing else. They trans- are keepln' the scene alive. KCK Thurs 8 - 10pm & Sat 6 -8pm mit illegally on 99.3 FM seven days a week and Para Wed 6 - 8pm &. Sun 4 - 6pm 24 hours a day over Friday - Sunday. With a How often do you get busted? Risky Wed 8 - 10pm & Sun 8 - 10pm audience spanning right across London town Mr Y About once a week at the moment, but Some of the up & coming Djs playing reg- and the surrounding counties they .ire easily one that's too as long as they keep it to that. ularly on Upfront are: Tommy Cockles, K- of the biggest pirates in the country. Someone What do they take when they bust ya? Field, Darren James, Steve B and their latest told me the other day that some 365,000 peo- Mr X Well they have nevei busied us per- signing, the one and only Dj Roast who you ple live in Croydon alm.i 'how accurate this is 1 sonally, thev haven t even found the studio. can catch for now, every Thursday from don't know), and this is only a small percentage They have only managed to get the transmitters Midnight - 2am alongside myself (although of the areas they cover. This gives you: some I'm not playing). Beside the Djs they are also idea of potential audience available. neutering some of the freshest MC talent around with the likes of MC Wicked, Asher, How did it ail start? (the names have been Steppa D, Crazy D + many more. changed to protect the innocent) Mr X How did it start? A lot of fucking effort I':.,-.,.: .. [:":} ; ..'.:''"'. ' St- These guys ain't nc junch of cowboys -you wouldn't believe how hard it';, been. [Jut :V ...']:.'':. ' sketchin: i,VJ>i:g it with dodgy e ipment and no real

'.TV.i'ni'i: f;!'.'.' :::':.;!;./: , I'iS* '.'") .j'X'<:^(.!^: V - ' i-VOVI ;V idea of what they are 'ing. They run this nicked whatever it just made us more deter- station as a serious bus ss with a in-depth mined to screw em next time (the DTI oi who- sending it one way then the other yeah, so they knowledge of how the ra i equipment works, Half the stuff they where I ing me when we got of money at the beginning but in the long run it's technical just went straigl over my head, such been worth it. , '-I'H;.;:-; as explaining how they 3p the signal from

Mr Y You wouldn't believe1 - haifillliSlliff wandering and interfering with other stations. we've had to do, scaling 300ft lift shafts and shit sM'&it: v:s-!«i«::,:aiii;i:i''vv-.;:-.: J:!:s.-^: l.yh'y it baffles me why the DTI make such a big

"::';":' i-..j'--.---r:-- >;> ' '(:?'%:?;',[ deal over pirates as most don't affect anyone DTI couldn't get to too easily. You'd think we '. ' t. '. ' . adversely and the fairy tale that they interfere were the SAS some of the shit we do. do. AiS" ::'.:' ' with emergency broadcasts is getting very old

Is there anything you want to say about the knowr 'i;.: - ::.;: >. indeed,; licensing laws, would you go legal if you could ing els'' >J ; At this point I must big up the security / afford the license? record technician who helped put us at ease when DJ "'Mr Y No fii Where Roast did his first show a few weeks back and even if we could. It's all about sciewing the sys you go and buy em from your local DIY shop? cheers for the tea. Also to all the behind the tern. It's all about the underground. If we went Mi scenes technicians that keep everything running legal it would be like selling out. ground by the Rig Doctor. nice 'n' smooth. I have to say I've seen a few Surely it's a lot of work. Why do you do pirates in my time but never one so well set it? up and run as this, these boys are running Mr Z We do It for a couple of reasons things big time and the studio has to be the really. The love of the music — and it's as tidiest and most comfortable I've ever much about providing a service for the been in. community as anything, bringing the local So if you're looking for the real sound people the music they want to hear. : of London's underground Garage scene Lveryone round here's locked into it. Slfl forget Kiss, Radio One and all the other How long has Upfront be running? pretenders and get locked on to the real Mr X It's been going for lour or live deal UPFRONT 99.3 FM. Also these boys years now. aren't just risking a hefty fine and possible What differences are there between lose of their freedom (ie Prison if they get Upfrors caught as the police and DTI, though I'm Mr Z The main difference between us sure they would jump at the chance to and the other pirates is that we started oui I throw the book &. everything else they can with no big name Djs at all, we just built tt BR at em) they're also the more dangerous up using bedroom DJs from the start and ^9 side of things (use your imagination). have continued; to use bedroom D|s. The So next time you tune into a pirate just only name D)s we have aie the ones that have I bet the rig doctor loves the DTI! appreciate what these people go through just to Mr Y Yeah he does well alright out of em. bring you upfront and underground music. Respect each and every time to all pirate crews. I can conlirm this because during the process Right now for who plays when. The Hit Big up all Upfront massive, listeners, DJs and of these interviews they gave my main man Uj Squad are their big 5 Djs that have all made MCs keeping it real London stylee. Roast (a friend of mine) a weekly show every their names through Upfront and are now Thursday evening midnight - 2pm. Now how blowing up all over London town and beyond. many pirates do you know would give a total- They are: The Dexter (also of Flex Kru fame 22 May 1998 IC RADIO 13 V

YOU'RE READING IC RADIO (!!)

ssaulting veteran radio 1 presenters is Dave's Bit: lUIMUW A not usually considered a good career OK here's a quick run down of this term's move for up and coming bands. Luckily it schedule. Variety is essential; indie, gold, drum doesn't seem to matter any more for I am 7, I and bass, R&B, spoken word and jazz; we've got don't know how they felt about it then but now 'em all. So whatever your musical bent we cater the sniggers are not withheld as Jai recounts the for you. We broadcast at lunchtimes from 12-2 story involving, as it does, a pub, a pool ball, and and if you want your essential choon played, the balding pate of one Steve Lamaq. While give us a call on 58085. Before your Friday night stunts like this are not unusual for the boys (at excursions from reality, tune into our live all the last gig while fully fueled on a bottle of night dance mix from experienced Dj's who've brandy jai inadvertently kicked a pint of beer all played over twenty London clubs between over trendy Brit, -artist Mark Whallenger) they them. are not unduly worried, and there's a reason for John 'The Chef Kennard, 1998 Back Room New for Wednesday night are Peter Terry this. They are currently recording a demo with scratch-mixing champion and DJ Pugwash: EVERY week betweeen 6 and 8 Monti from Curve and have record labels queu- where they give away free cinema tickets to ing up for them, and not the shitty little ones We want YOU down at the BACK ROOM Warner Village for whatever film you want. If you either. 1 am 7 are Jai Stokes. Matt Russel, and know what you like, you'll like IC Radio. Ian Faragher and they came down to see us last Remember also that your favorite radio Dj's Thursday to record a session in our Northside play in the new and improved Southside Disco studios. The session bore fruit in the form of which, for the purpose of cool, will now be four tracks, two of which you may have heard known as THE BACK ROOM. So if you're in them play live that very evening, and you will be southside bar on thursday or friday nights and able to here the others exclusively on John's want to retract into a less busy, more chilled out show next Thursday lunchtime between 12 and atmosphere then stroll on down, past the bogs, 2. I am 7 write tunes to die for don't miss it! through a slightly dodgy corridor until you reach the unmissable lilack blue walls wich surround Photos by Mr Mark Smith this impressive venue.

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BLUES BROTHERS 2000 Starring: , , Evan Bonifant, |oe Morton &. every you've ever heard of Director:

orget the title - this isn't a Crosse Pointe Blank, he's back on F sequel to the cult classic. It's a form. He sings and dances like it's homage. Although the charac- still 1980, and quite simply, he is ters are picked up fifteen years Elwood Blues. after the original, and set off on a Blues Brothers 2000 is a fans new mission, this is more of a dream, and anyone else's night- remake than a sequel. And for that mare. For example, the original was simple reason, if you liked the orig- famed for the biggest car-crashes inal, you'll love Blues Brothers ever filmed. This time round, 2000. Landis sets a new record, smashing This time around it's Elwood sixty cars in a scene which goes on who is released from prison, and for so long that it actually becomes decides to put the band back boring. Similarly, for the fan the together. Queue series of absurd final battle of the bands contest is car chases, musical set-pieces, and wondrous, as cameos by every blues musician Band go head to head with the you've ever heard of. Indeed, if Louisiana Gator Boys (, anything there are far more musical BB King, , Dr John, Lou numbers in 2000 than there were Rawls....). For the uninitiated, how- in the original. Twice as many Blues Brothers - not necessarily twice as good. ever, it could be two hours of tedi- One of the principle reasons um, particularly as there are very why this has the feel of a remake is and all return. The singing in the band (don't ask how, few jokes for something which is the number of original cast mem- principle additions are therefore in it's all a bit contrived), and Bonifant ostensibly a comedy, bers who return. If they're not the form of the new Blues Brothers. is the obligatory annoying small Blues Brothers 2000 is the orig- dead, then they're here. Thus, John Goodman is Mighty Mack child. inal with a bigger budget. If you've although the late Blues, a bartender with a passion However, it's Aykroyd who's seen the original, expect more of (Elwood's brother Jake in the origi- for the blues, and a surprisingly left to carry the movie this time the same. If you haven't, then how nal) is sadly absent, , good singing voice. Morton is the around, and thankfully, after a few dare you call yourself a student?D , Kathleen Freeman cop on their tail, who ends up lean years only highlighted by Dave

LIAR Starring: Tim Roth, Chris Penn, Michael Rooker, Renee Zellweger Director: Josh &. Jonas Pate it ir ir it

t present, the caption "A film wrote the film). They manage to A by Josh cx Jonas Pate" proba- maintain a high tempo and credibil- bly doesn't mean anything to ity throughout Liar, despite almost you (it didn't to me until I saw this the entire film consisting of three film). Believe me, very soon it will. men locked in a small dark room. The identical twins are Hollywood's The suggested twists and revela- next big thing, with the same taut, tions of the storyline, together with non-linear, style and reverence some brilliant set pieces - setting toward American cinema that up the lie-detector and Roth's marked out Tarantino's first two epileptic attacks in particular - films. Indeed, Liar is so clearly the combine to give a glimpse of a film we were all expecting Jackie partnership who are on the verge of Brown to be - a tight, character dri- greatness. ven piece, which oozes directorial Whilst the style and plotting are brilliance whilst screwing with your first rate, the dialogue is in need of mind. some work. Where Tarantino The scenario is simple - as the imbues his characters with person- prime suspect in the murder of ality through the script, the Pate prostitute Zellweger, rich-kid Roth This man will seriously screw with your head. twins fall back on excellent perfor- is forced to undergo a lie detector mances from their leads. test by cops Penn and Rooker. Day Whilst it may sound like formu- (and best) performances to date, Although the style may not be after day they continue the treat- laic schtick, it's actually a supreme- whilst Penn is plagued by a gam- entirely original, and the dialogue ments, but Roth resolutely refuses ly shocking and surprising piece of bling addiction and bad debts. falls short of the standards set by to break down. Yet at the same noir. Although it may become obvi- Rooker is by far the most terrifying, Tarantino himself, this is a fine time his captors become increas- ous who did it early on, there are however, as Roth slowly grinds entry into the genre. Whilst the ingly convinced of his guilt. Roth, still many surprises to be had along down his exterior, and finally forces twins may not become a great writ- however, starts to play games with the way. Every character is morally him onto the lie detector himself. ing partnership, their future as a their minds, and slowly he turns the ambiguous, and every one is guilty Far more revealing than the directorial force would seem finger of suspicion onto his two of something. Roth is an alcoholic performances, however, is the skill assured. D tormentors. epileptic, giving one of his scariest of the directorial duo (who also Dave 22 May 1998 FILM 15 REVIEWS AND COMPETITIONS GRAVESEND Starring: Tony Tucci Michael Parducci STAR PROFILE: Director: Sal Stabile *>/2 DAN

s the opening credits roll, the AYKROYD Atag "Oliver Stone pre- ike so many of his contem- sents..." flash across the L poraries, Dan Aykroyd first screen. The conspiracy meister has came to prominence on marked out young director Stabile , the US come- as someone possessing the flair dy show that launched the careers worthy of a break in Hollywood, of Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Bill and has allowed his name to be Murray and Mike Myers, to name attached to the project, in return but a few. for Stabile getting enough cash to His first film projects came as produce his first film. Sadly, how- spin-offs of SNL sketches, with the ever, Stone clearly isn't that popu- Blues Brothers the most notable. lar in Hollywood at present, as his As the cult around the film grew, illustrious name only secured Aykroyd became a serious $5000 for Cravesend. Hollywood player. However, it was The resulting film shows the box office success that accom- glimpses of the talent that Stone panied Chostbusters, which he seems to have identified - particu- wrote and starred in, alongside fel- larly the fast, non linear editing Taking low budget to a whole new dimension. low SNL-ers Bill Murray and Ivan which chops between actions and Reitman, which set him up as one their aftermath. However, the Shallow Crave and Cridlock'd, as cheapness of the production per- of the most valuable comedians of whole thing is undermined by the four teenagers accidently kill some- vades every second. In principle, the late eighties. amazingly low budget. Shot on one, and then try to dispose of the there's nothing wrong with low A string of similar projects fol- camcorder and on the streets, the corpse. What results is a strange budget films, giving directors the lowed, and whilst all achieved realism is undeniable. Yet the grain- mix of textbook gritty realism and chance to shine, without falling respectable box-office figures, iness and jerkiness of the picture is an absurd chain of events which back on millions of pounds worth none achieved the glory, or endur- light years behind what the cinema border on farce. of CGI. But you can have too much ing popularity, of Chostbusters going public have come to expect. Yet, despite all the merits of the of a good thing....D (which spun off cartoons, phe- The plot mixes elements of editing, writing and directing, the Dave nomenally successful merchandis- ing, toys and an instantly recognis- able theme tune). More recently, Aykroyd has Tickets tk prizes galore courtesy of drifted between comedy projects of an increasingly lame standard (Sgt Bilko and spring to mind) and some very impressive "straight" roles, including support- ing roles in the critically acclaimed Driving Miss Daisy and Sneakers. Indeed, his last big screen appear- ance came in Crosse Pointe Blank (one of the best films of last year), and whilst this is, in theory, a com- edy, it is unlike anything he's ever KENSINGTON done before - and his best perfor- mance for ten years or more. So what's the prize this week then? posters to give away, courtesy of Well, I'm not telling, suffice to say DSA Promotions. To obtain a copy that it is beyond the dreams of of one of these monsters, simply Principle Filmography: avarice, and almost certainly drop into the office and ask nicely. Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) includes some free cinema tickets, Remember, first come, first served. Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) courtesy of "Our Friends at the Feeling Minnesota (1996) Odeon Kensington"™. The answers to last week's Sgt. Bilko (1996) So, as a change to the usual poser was: Liar star Renee Coneheads (1993) style of questioning, here's some- Zellweger was last seen alongside Sneakers (1992) thing a little more abstract: Tom Cruise in in Jerry Maguire. My Girl (1991) The first five names out of the Driving Miss Daisy (1989) Which film links the stars of mountain of correct entries were: Ghostbusters I! (1989) Liar, Scream, Pretty Woman and John Douglas Caddyshack II (1988) The First Wives Club? Adrian Lim The Great Outdoors (1988) Katherine Ruggeri My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988) To enter simply email your Jenny Kay Dragnet (1987) answer to [email protected] Suzanne Vaughan (1985) before Monday evening. Entries to Ghostbusters (1984) any other email address will not be Please drop into the Felix office (1983) accepted. (in the NW corner of Beit Quad) to The Blues Brothers(1980) We also have 100 huge X-Files pick up your prizes. 16 ARTS 22 May 1998

ARTS EDITOR IN HYPERBOLE SHOCK

RENT TRAINSPOTTING The Shaftesbury Theatre The Man in the Moon

his musical is absolutely which admittedly made for good ou've seen the film, you've political comment - yet the politics T amazing, get down to the entertainment, although not an in- Y bought at least one of the is startling in its crude truthfulness. Shaftesbury Theatre and see depth reflection on contemporary CD's, some of the poster col- It's not about Generation X, or it now! society. But who wants that from a lection and you've probably even even chemical culture, it's about Set in downtown Manhattan, musical anyway? Rent has just the got the t-shirt. Have you read the those who don't even care what Rent follows a year in the lives of a right balance - it put us in the pic- book, or seen the play? Why not? society is - as Renton himself group of young people, all of ture without dwelling on and "Because its probably a bunch of admits; "Due tae this failure tae whom suffer from at least one of exploiting the problems of the arty shirt-lifters over-pronouncing recognise societal reward, success the usual modern day 'afflictions' - characters. some unheard-of geezers' ram- (and failure) can only ever be fleet- heroin addiction, homelessness, The cast was excellent with bling adaptation". Until last Friday ing experiences for me their HIV and tranvesitism amongst oth- very powerful and enigmatic per- night I'd have probably agreed: I've value can never be sustained ers. (For more trainspotter facts, formances from all, especially Mimi seen Shakespeare in the Theatre because there's nae recognition ay see below - Arts Ed.) (a nightclub dancer) and Angel (a and on the silver screen and its the society which values Mark, the character through gay transvestite - very PC). (No, better on the screen - if he'd been them ah dinnae gie a fuck." whose eyes we see the events of very Candy Darling - Trainspotter alive today the Bard would have In the film, we're allowed to the play, is making a video chroni- Arts Ed). Everyone in the Company been a screenwriter. Mind you - if hope that things work out all right cling the day to day existences of was obviously enjoying themselves he was alive today, he might well for Renton at least. In the book, his friends over Christmas and the and putting a great deal of effort be Irvine Welsh and Harry Gibson we suspect that he's going to do it ensuing year. We see death, and energy into the singing and rather than the Coen brothers. all again, just in a different country, romance, rioting, deception and a dancing. This came across strongly There is very little theatre which but at least he gets a chance. In the distinctly surreal 'cow' sequence in and enabled us to easily empathise is worth seeing these days, but that play, we're given no such luxury - which the audience was invited to with the characters, which were all which is, really is worth seeing. Renton is as bad as Begbie, as he moo profusely. well-defined. They portrayed the Trainspotting (the Play) is one of surely must have been all along. First, you will notice the music - humorous and witty scenes very those which, like Ben Elton's He just destroys himself with hero- it is brilliant. The songs are gen- cleverly, especially in the tele- Popcorn, comes to life on the stage in rather than in psychotic heroism. uinely emotive in all the right phone/ansaphone sessions with - especially one as small as the At least the Beggar is delusional - places and are generally outstand- the outside world. These scenes Man in the Moon, Chelsea (just at least he has a reason to hate the ing. Without exception they were helped to put the play into context 'round the corner from Vivienne's, world. The Rent Boy just cannot be catchy, up to date and comple- and emphasised its trueness to life. darling!). It's a moody, violent, bothered - life's done him no mented the plot well - you will not The costumes were also of a frightening beast, with the tortured favours, so he's not even going to find Andrew Lloyd-Webber style very high standard - you could soul of the disenchanted, gobbing try - take what's coming and hunt ballads in Rent. Each one stands imagine seeing people wearing and knifing its way through the for the next hit. The only small out as a song in its own right, and them in the streets, yet they were audience, whirling a Snooker cue problem 1 have with Gibson's adap- you'll want to go out and buy them. not boring or dull and had a striking and shouting at you. Go and see it tation was its omission of one of Considering the gravity of impact that accompanies the 'any- - let down your defences and actu- the best lines from the book; 'You issues dealt with, we couldn't help thing goes' attitude in New York. ally allow something to affect you, just want tae fuck up on drugs so feeling that perhaps the mood was The whole virtue of Rent, in fact, is for once. Wonder at how they that everyone'll think how deep and at times slightly too upbeat, but as that it is a genuinely streetwise and manage to actually shoot up on fucking complex you are. It's a whole, the play portrayed typical- believable musical that lacks pre- stage, three feet from you. Feel pathetic and fucking boring." We ly depressing topics in a sensitive tentiousness and, quite frankly, what it would be like to be the low- probably all know someone like manner and managed to include a corn. est person in the world, slowly this, and the deepest irony is that hefty serving of feelgood factor. Judith and Christian killing yourself on junk. Ask yourself they tend to be the ones who rave The suffering of the characters was whether suicide, wouldn't surely be about the film the most. skimmed over perhaps a little better than the ups and downs of a Stephen Starkie smack habit. There's no overall

Fucking, films such as his is the long-awaited adap- Trainspotting, and TV programmes T tation of Puccini's classic, La such as This Life. 1 can only hope it Boheme. Taking the under- will, because apart from Chicago, it belly of 1800s Paris and translating is the best musical to come off it to the fin de siecle New York, was Broadway since Guys and Dolls. the life's work of one man, It should be noted that Jonathan Larson. This musical has Jonathan Larson succumbed to taken Broadway by storm, with Another influence is obviously sizes have been unprecedented, AIDS, literally days before the show many members of the audience Stephen Sondheim (he helped with and approval in New York has been opened in 1996. In performing this going back time and again. With its the drafts) and the musical is remi- almost universal. This is a show for monument to his life, we are pre- student friendly price-tag, £ 10, and nescent of West Side Story, with- young people, and as such it has serving his memory, and making its extremely cool and streetwise out ever being derivative. Another been extremely successful in luring him immortal. A little hyperbole look, this musical embodies the familiar face is the girl from the people who normally wouldn't never hurt anyone. soul of New York, of the people Tamperer song, Krysten Marquez, have gone to Broadway - they Lou Reed sang about in Walk on she's playing Mimi Marquez, and haven't had an empty seat in two Julia H the Wild Side. You'll find Candy anyone who listens to the radio will years. Perhaps this musical won't Darling, Sugar-Plum Fairy and know that she has an amazingly do as well in this country, where we Holly, who came from Miami FLA powerful voice. are more familiar with the seedy and hitch-hiked her way across the This musical has broken all the side of life through plays such as USA, renamed, but recognisable. records in America. The audience Cleansed and Shopping and 22 May 1998 ARTS 17 I DANCING AND SHOCKING

DANCE IN LONDON CLEANSED Royal Court Theatre

his time of year is one of the 22nd May, ie tonight, and Les don't really know how to start (he also directed Sarah Kane's T most exciting in the art scene Ballets C de la Bon 12th and 13th I this review. Cleansed is one of debut play Blasted) does mar- of London, for the contem- June. Rosas is the creation of Anne those plays that keep you velous work using some great porary dance fans amongst us. Teresa De Keersmaeker; her style is thinking for a long time. I have to images to represent the violence. There are some major festivals very different and quite difficult to say it: this play is fantastic. Together with the designer, they from May right into August. relate to at times but, in the end, Let me explain the story a little. have created everyday settings The first of these festivals start- immensely rewarding. Les Ballets C The scene is set in an university, with a particular context, but that ed at the end of April and has just de la B are Alain Platel's ideas. I although no details are really given could be transposed anywhere. It is finished: it was called Spring think that this guy is one of the in the text. The beginning of the all extremely clever and gives the Loaded. I won't extend myself on most brilliant choreographer-direc- play is a succession of extremely play that added impact. The text it. It is a showcase of some of the tors around. His ideas defy any- strong scenes that actually make itself is very elliptic with not a sin- best companies across the world, one's imagination, and the results one feel quite nauseous. That feel- gle word is wasted, making for a and also the best talent working in are always so inventive, hilarious ing only lasts a couple of seconds, sense of concentration and impor- Britain. The highlights were Javier and important. This year he's pre- however. The characters are all the tance. The actors have a very de Frutos's latest offering called senting "lets op Bach", with nine 'undesirables' of our society, strong role in their physical pres- Crass, an exploration of love. A dancers and a chamber baroque looked after by Tinker, a "doctor" ence, talking as little as possible, man has to choose between his orchestra. He is one of the rare who is more like a hardcore sadist, and letting expressions and move- female lover and this man who is breed that manages to take dance inflicting the most degrading treat- ments do the rest. And this totally trying to attract him away from her. onto another level by mixing it with ment onto his patients. He escapes works. Another interesting company, other artforms. all this by going to see the local Morally speaking, Cleansed is CAN DOCO from Canada was also Finally, for those of you who stripper. hard to watch. One does feel like featured. This is a very interesting will be here over the summer, the Some of the worst atrocities one is intruding on something, but company with seven dancers, three Royal Festival Hall continues its are committed to the sound of a isn't that an exciting feeling? The of them in wheelchairs. The result Dance and Performance pro- musical box. I'll let you imagine the play is a challenge to everyone; is is strongly emotional and thought- gramme. Don't miss Trilok Gurtu, effect of that. The recurring theme, Sarah Kane just showing us a slight- provoking. If you have a chance to the jazz percussionist who will be especially between boyfriends Carl ly exaggerated view of our mirror catch these people, go for it. playing from his brilliant new and Rod, is trust or the lack of it. image to make us react? I will say it There is lots more coming up, album, on the 25th July. Carl wants Rod to give him his ring again: this play is fantastic, one of starting this week. The Turning If you need anymore informa- as a vow of commitment, but ulti- the landmarks of these past years World festival at the Place Theatre tion about any of these events, mately betrays him. All of these in the same vein as Trainspotting and the Royal Festival Hall, for a come into the office and ask Julia. people are trying to survive in these and Shopping and Fucking. It start. This is a showcase of Watch this space from now on if awful conditions through love: this comes as some sort of revelation European companies, this year you like contemporary dance. gives rise to some very tender and and makes themes like incest, mainly concentrating on Belgium There will be lots of reviewing touching situations that beautifully homosexuality and abuse seem and Portugal. Four choreographers, going on. clash with the violence of their less distant. I urge everyone to go all based in Lisbon, are here with D. daily lives. Grace starts teaching and see it even if it sounds repul- their latest work. The best two are Robin how to write in a lovely sive. It is a lesson in theatre and Paulo Ribeiro on 22nd and 23rd scene of innocent love, which in can change quite a few things in May and Vera Montero on 17th the end has disastrous conse- one's life.... June. There are two must-see com- quences. D. panies from Belgium, Rosas on The director, James Macdonald

I PUGNI IN TASCA

ICA Cinema from 29 May

his film (Fists in the Pocket in enabling him to build up a better fabric of Italian society, with the hair beautifully set, with her sun- T English) didn't disappoint me life in the town with his fiancee. mother as a central Madonna- glasses and side-long glances, of in the slightest. It is a power- The story deals with the gradual esque figure, holding the reins of the girls in La Dolce Vita, even think ful drama about a completely dys- realisation of Ale's actions by his power in her calm and efficient of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at functional family, with 3 epileptic sister and brother. hands. This film can be regarded as Tiffany's, and you will have the children, Giulia, Leon and This is a harrowing and an example of the late neo-realism look. Alessandro, a blind widowed moth- poignant account of the collapse of school of film-making, with profes- It is worth going to see this film, er, and a young man, Augosto, a family. Filmed in the sixties in sional actors used instead of ama- because it shows another slice of struggling to support his family Italy in the hills above Rome, it has teurs due to its content, and graph- life, one that will make you very whilst trying to remain sane. Giulia recently been re-mastered, and is ic portrayal of collapse. As in many glad that this is not your family. It is is jealous of her brother's ability to being shown at the ICA later this Italian neo-realism films, it can't not an easy film, many of the ideas attract love, and sends his fiancee, month. The director, Marco have a happy ending. are extremely disturbing. For non- Lucia, anonymous letters and hate Bellocchio, is Italian and this was The acting, direction and cine- Italian speakers, it has subtitles, so mail. She has an almost incestous his debut film. When it was first matography are all flawless and, there is no excuse for not seeing it. relationship with her brother released, this film caused contro- despite the film being in Italian, it is Alessandro which is always hinted versy over its portrayal of a collaps- an enjoyable experience. The Julia H at, never described explicitly. The ing family unit, in particular over actresses are all extremely beauti- second brother, Alessandro, the blind and therefore helpless ful, classy-looking Italian brunettes, ICA cinema, The ICA, The Mall, decides to help his brother by mur- mother. In Italy at that time, the elegantly dressed. Think of Sophia SWI, £1.50, Tube: Charing Cross dering the rest of his family, thus family was seen as integral to the Loren in any of her films, brown 22 May 1998

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.'.-!!' : I'ldl Vli'.V hOSt . : : i liv! Tickets: £l5-£30 ifi'll:! 'iOoOO'iKoi'cc.lii (voi is in lioliiloy, so C5 7 o : c; ovi .''cijiii'. On CO-' 11:6 04 I irii ''''. : i.S.O-" '" i 7 i '..Of, t 1 ' ' ' ,', 701 7, 07: 00 7 00

The Big Match : :-.;.O;;;;;0««!;»;g™'jifI!: Scream 2 ' ':.:: 77. ; Swerve @ Velvet Rooms 10.40pm, ITV - Return of the ironic Charing Cross Rd. WC2

With just a fortnight tt slasher movie, starring -I'...' .:CC Upfront D&B, Resident before the World Cup .cocci HocO OifiOiO Neve Campbell, - 10'Ks: :7so cos cess Fabio kicks-off in France, c Vol- vo.;, ,, (c >. r, "iiiS. -'CCO V '-.IOC '.„',.' id: , 10pm-2.30am. £6/Nus England take on Odeon Kensington cone ;<: ul .1: is;, i. io oo 0 o £4. Info: 0171 734 4687 Morrocco Hoddle -; i: 9 30 S'OO , ' . s urgently needs to fina ' Virgin Trocodero ixuooi 'io:-'": 10, 07 7

his sguad, after the uf I '..! 3,45, 6.20, 9.00 '0'oiSo.,!. I'li'ie-

and downs of the last I' 70 ' Warner West End '-..: MI three warm-ups. .".i':.'77i(, iOCiO'l.-i;;, i / 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8,50

Da Vinci's Cocktail Night Countdown Gorky's Zygotic Mynci Th£ 7 7 . : c,i,.Oil Cornelia Parker 0:0|i|lf|p;;;:;:!;c;; Kick back and relax; the t 10pm 04 Dingwalls. £7. i. i :', '"Oi'.;/', ."si1- A retrospective of her csswccc:::::;:::::;:; weekend starts here. 7 i >'i,f, Ash 1711 y riOioo iViicsi see. work, with her objects in Shep Bush Empire. £ 11 limbo, in a dreamlike ii. mi I'nl ' Ultrasound !.. ." state. See over-indulgent Resident: The DJ Dextef : •'••.'' '••.: ULU. £7. in1. review next week. The 0 1 . OS'! lOSi Itioi; tin.. res in i cHi'i UCI Whtteley Serpentine Gallery, Hn >d {Upfront '! O'O .loyio'ivj longer 0 7,1 Scii! Kensington Gardens, 99 s '! rfian. "emo'o I ; SW7, free, very close, go : ! .!)", OS). 6, OS s in your lunch-break. SO '. "il' stands for .."".'" 0i7t 732 0777 The Pit Stop Challenge... May 29th, Beit Quad

ANDERSEN CONSULTING

An exciting opportunity for you to experience the pressure of the Pit Stop: You and your team will be racing against the clock to change the tyres and re-fuel a real Formula 1 Williams car

ANDERSEN CONSULTING PIT STOP CHALLENGE APPLICATION FORM Team Name: Preferred time: (between 12-5pm) Team Members: 1. 2. 3. 4. How to apply: 1. Fill in this application form - extra forms are available from Mark Home in the Union office 2. Return it to Mark Home by Friday 22 May 1998 (teams will be drawn out of a hat) 3. Check if your team has been picked (and if so, what time you have been allocated) on the schedule which will be posted up in the Union office on Wednesday 27 May 1998

Rules: 1. All teams must have four members 2. All teams must arrive in Beit Quad at least 10 minutes before their scheduled time 3. All teams must have a sense of humour

Highlights of the day will include: > Lots of prizes >Bar and BBQ > A larger than life scalextric > Videos > Remote control cars 20 SPORT 22 May 1998

You're Going Down with the Bookstore!

"We serve beer in proper glasses! tight shorts seemed increasingly Richards to tap into the unguarded utes from full time, where an unfor- We serve beer in proper glasses!" wise. Thanks to some fine goal- net from close range. He scored tunately deflected clearance fell to "Our girls are better looking! Our keeping and downright hilarious again soon after; a right wing cross the feet of the Union captain Gerry girls are better looking!" refereeing from baldy Southside found him unmarked on the back Donahoe, who turned and blasted "What's it like to, what's it like to, regular Martin Ramsey, the Prince's post, and his low volley left home from six yards unchallenged, what's it like to serve crap beer?" Gardens mob kept the game at 1 - Southside's keeper, Felix's own despite justifiable claims of offside 0, almost sneaking the draw in the Jonathan Trout, with little chance. from the Southside defence. The Whatever else may be said about dying seconds, but the result was Neil Eady got the third five Southsiders almost scored a last Southside's male footballers, they never in serious doubt. minutes before half time; the ball minute consolation goal after a were certainly in good voice during The real business of the day forced over the line from under a lengthy goalmouth scramble involv- the girls' five-a-side match. was about to begin. Southside's foot after a near post corner was ing late arrival Gareth Parry, fresh Banners emblazoned "Scrubbers", central defence hadn't turned up. not cleared. Southside mounted from a mere 48 hour stag party in "Peasants" and "Union Scum" were Their captain went round pleading several attacks of their own, most- Edinburgh, but were denied once produced and waved angrily at with his team mates to put out ly through midfielder Nick Helliwell more by the safe hands of Seb their counterparts on the opposite their cigarettes. The Union looked and winger Alan Ross, but the final Norager. touchline. They would have their as if they might have been practis- ball to the front two was never James "Ref" Vallance blew the say later. ing. It all started looking a little quite up to scratch. final whistle to signify a comfort- The match itself was a largely ominous. None of the Union play- A tactical switch at half time by able four goal victory, and the one sided affair. The Union Staff's ers were wearing sunglasses, and Southside evened the game up teams trudged off to Prince's girls broke forward in the first the possibility that they were taking thoroughly, with Charlie Cunnell Gardens for post match gloating, minute allowing Amy Seal to score, the whole thing seriously started bringing steel to the central boat racing (Southside 2-0 Union), and remained solidly camped in the becoming horribly real. defence and Mike Peachment singing, beer fights and an unfortu- Southside half. On the rare occa- A goal from the first attack set bringing some lovely bruises to the nate incident with the barbecue sion that the ball found its way into the tone for the match. A mis-hit legs of the Union's right winger. As and a Hooch bottle full of petrol. the Union's half, the Union selec- shot from the Union's Dave tiredness set in, both sides started Oh, and the Southside girls were tion policy of picking girls on their Wharton went sideways from six making chances, but solid goal- better looking. ability to run and quite often kick yards, stranding the already com- keeping at both ends denied any rather than their appearance in mitted goalkeeper allowing Ian addition to the score until ten min-

of Tea SHOOTERS TAKE FORMULA I PIT A Nice Cup THE CUP STOP CHALLENGE

After the Materials department The Andersen Consulting Pit Stop IC CRICKET II v ST Atherton averaged more than that scored 24/24 for teaching quality a Challenge takes place on Friday 29 in the West Indies! final year student proves they real- in Beit Quad, allowing teams of GEORGE'S II Our batting was less imposing, ly are the best by winning the West students to get their hands on a but so was their bowling and we Kent Rifle League Presidents Cup. Williams Formula One car. The It was a surreal scene amidst the soon rattled up 101-9 declared, Jon Mc Cartney beat over 50 other wheel changing exercise is a com- debris in Beit quad at noon on most of the runs coming from rifle shooters to take the cup with petition for mind and body, involv- Sunday, no hail, no rain, not even Gopi. Then they had another go his best ever performance by far. ing teamwork and logical thought, any wind and a full complement of and this time got 47 against our Mark Carter came a creditable 4 qualities that have made Andersen players. In fact we were so sur- part time bowlers. Rushi took a and some good scores were put in one of the world's leading business prised to have eleven men that we fantastic five wickets and IC sec- by the other shooters from IC with consultants. left Andy behind. Instead of doing onds had a famous victory made all our top lady, Neela Das gaining her For the past 3 seasons, the sensible thing and awaiting our the more unbelievable by the first ever standards medal. Andersen Consulting have been in return in the bar he ran behind the superb weather and the fact that Jon refused to be interviewed partnership with Williams, using minibus for a good 15 minutes, for the first time in living memory by "Felix" having signed a deal with their skills to maximise Williams' while we scoured the South IC didn't drop any catches. "Channel One News" said to be excellence in the field of motor Kensington streets. Nice to see a The opposition were a great worth as much as £5 for his exclu- racing. In these three years, bit of desire to play though. bunch of blokes and their teas were sive story. However, he will be Andersen has helped Williams Upon arrival we were greeted fantastic, ice creams, what luxury. parading around the campus in an assess it's current position, identi- by the opposition informing us that We are therefore going to have open topped bus showing off his fied future business opportunities, they had been bowled out for 21 in another match, but this time with cup just as soon as he gets it back and developed a winning strategy. their last match. This was treated mixed teams, if IC can find half a from the pawnbrokers. It can be If you want to be part of the Pit as sneaky gamesmanship, after all dozen girls. No experience, or skill reported that none of the IC Stop Challenge, apply at the Union their firsts had lost only narrowly to necessary, because George's don't shooters failed the mandatory Office by Wednesday. No applica- IC firsts in the ULU cup final last have any. If there is anybody inter- drugs test and even Jake Thome tions to take part will be accepted season. The captain won the toss ested please e-mail Peter had more drugs than the minimum on the day. If you think changing and put them in, electing to open ([email protected]), or Andi (a.fer- specified amount. All that training wheels sounds too much like hard the bowling with a leg spinner. [email protected]). in Southside on a diet of Caffreys work, then there'll be a giant They hadn't been joking, we 10 runs, fancy a cricket team and pork scratchings really has scalextric, plus a barbecue and the bowled them out for 10, even after getting a football score! paid off this year with two cups bar will be open all day. Andersen the opening bowlers had been and a dozen standards medals to Consulting will of course have a taken off. Three wickets apiece for Imperial College Rifle and Pistol graduate recruitment stand on the Nim, Alex and JP. 101! Even Mike Club's credit. day.