Christmas Cracker Jokes

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What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? What carol is heard in the desert? A Holly Davidson! Camel ye faithful. What happened to the man who stole an Advent What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Calendar? Tinselitis! He got 25 days! What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? What's the most popular Christmas wine? A Christmas quacker! "I don't like Brussels sprouts." Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Because he had low "elf" esteem! Jingle smells. How did Scrooge win the football game? What's green, covered in tinsel and says "ribbet ribbet?" The ghost of Christmas passed! Mistle-toad Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? They always drop their needles. Because their days are numbered. Why did the turkey join the band? Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? Because it had the drumsticks! Because he has private elf care. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? vampire? "Stick with me and we'll go places!" Frostbite! What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? their games in a hotel lobby? One that's deep pan, crisp and even. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? Cross mouse cards A mince spy What do you call a cat in the desert? What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party? Sandy claws! Freeze a jolly good fellow! .

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