TheTheSerenity Serenity ConnectionConnection Nar-Anon Family Groups Newsletter Volume 29 Issue 1 Mar 2013

Announcing … the Nar-Anon 36!

It is with great pleasure that the this book as they are approved by the We thank all of you who are already Nar-Anon World Service Literature World Service Conference. participating. Committee announces the first vol- The World Service Literature Com- World Service ume of the Nar-Anon 36 is now mittee continues to work diligently to Literature Committee available for purchase from the prepare further sections for fellowship World Service Office at http:// review, followed by WSC approval. www.nar-anon.org/naranon/store Once approved, more sections will be In April, 2012, the Nar-Anon World added until all thirty-six are complete. Service Conference voted to ap- The next version will be available fol- prove the Introduction with Step lowing the WSC 2014. One, Step Two, and Step Three of If your group, area, or region would the Nar-Anon 36. It was also decid- like to assist in the rewarding task of ed the need was so great, it would creating, editing, and/or reviewing the be appropriate to release portions of sections as they become available, please contact the World Service Lit- erature Committee via email ([email protected]). Inside this issue: Keep Meeting Info Up-To-Date Letter from the ED 2 Keep Meeting Info Up-To-Date Groups, areas, and regions can now vices, which will help facilitate our Our Members Share 3 update their information on the communications. Please visit Nar-Anon World Service Website. www.nar-anon/naranon/Meetings/ On-line_Forms Giving Back 5 Concept 8 states: “Our service structure depends on From here, you can add a meeting, the integrity and effectiveness of our edit an existing meeting, disband a Members’ Reflections 5 communications.” meeting, or update the region’s contact information. The Nar-Anon World Service website What Worked for You? 6 has a new page for member ser- Why not give it a try!

Upcoming Events 7 “With the help of my Higher Power, I can change myself — others I can only love.” Committee Corner 8 “Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope,” Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, July 3

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291

Letter from the Executive Director…

Little did I know of the journey I friends and many have become like al writers were/are used. would be traveling when I attended family members to me. The vision Through our Guides to Local and my first Nar-Anon meeting. I have Louise had for Nar-Anon needed World Services, the unity of often compared my journey to a roll- help and support from the fellow- Nar-Anon has become stronger. er coaster ride. When I used the ship, and sadly, she passed away These guidelines unite us in our prin- tools of the program, the ride was before seeing her vision become a ciples and traditions and give us a smooth. When I veered off track, reality. When I became executive di- clear direction for moving forward. the ride became frightening, with rector, I could have easily been twists and turns, ups and downs. overwhelmed with the task at hand. It is my hope the fellowship as a When it was finally over, I was ex- But, thanks to the support of those whole will be united through trust in hausted and angry with myself and who showed willingness, patience, the World Service Conference pro- others around me. and dedication, Nar-Anon is well on cess. The hard work required to fulfill its way to being recognized around The gratitude I have for those who the needs of Nar-Anon can be and is the world. No longer are we the best gave back so freely what had been being accomplished at these confer- kept secret! Nar-Anon is no longer given to them, their experience, ences. I honestly feel many issues strength, and hope guided me. An- will easily be resolved as more mem- other important asset of the pro- bers – new and old – familiarize gram turned out to be service, themselves with Nar-Anon by reading which my sponsor so eloquently the literature, asking questions, and said was another part of my jour- working together in the unity of the ney. I started by being the group program. Our fellowship, based on key carrier. I would open the doors the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and set up weekly. This commit- and Twelve Concepts, will continue an “I” program, but a “We” program. ment kept me coming back. I then to gain strength as we move forward. Most members of Nar-Anon also served my group as secretary, see the changes and know we are In closing, I want to thank the treasurer, literature person, and moving forward. Nar-Anon Fellowship for their contin- group service representative (GSR). ued help and support. Serving as ex- While serving in my region, I began When 2013 began, I, like many oth- ecutive director is a privilege I do not volunteering at the Nar-Anon World ers, took stock of what I hoped to take lightly. With Nar-Anon unity and Service Office (WSO - Nar-Anon accomplish during the year. For awareness growing and with the help headquarters). There I met Louise, Nar-Anon, expanding our literature of the Board of Trustees, WS com- a co-founder of Nar-Anon. I never has been a part of history in the mittees, and the Nar-Anon Fellow- realized that the vision she had for making. The members who submit- ship, I will continue striving to move Nar-Anon would one day be passed ted their stories of experience, the organization forward. on to me. strength, and hope have contributed significantly to the success of our In Loving Service, Throughout my Nar-Anon journey, I daily reader (SESH). No profession- Cathy K. have been fortunate to make new Executive Director

“For me, giving back to the Nar-Anon Fellowship is an expression of unconditional love and part of the healing process. When I give freely, without expectations, I help create a healing environment for others and myself.” “Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope,” Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, May 13

2 Our Members Share…

Dancing with the Gorilla Inner Peace One of the things I learned some time ago, and Serenity was that living with addiction was like dancing with a gorilla. My aim was to teach that gorilla to waltz, a slow, graceful dance. Before entering the rooms of But each time I tried to control the gorilla's moves, I was tossed around Nar-Anon, I unknowingly gratified my- like a doll. self with material items. I strived to The harder I tried to slow the dance, the more the gorilla was dancing feel good and could not understand with dips and slides, twirling me around. why instant material gratification was I was out of breath. short- lived. I was exhausted. I was introduced to the Nar-Anon I was bruised. Twelve Step program when my son Through attending meetings, I found a whole group became a drug addict. Working the of people who were exhausted from that same dance. program has helped me to achieve se- It was wonderful to feel the fellowship of other desperate dancers. renity and God-centered inner peace. With the help of my Higher Power, Through working the steps with a sponsor, meetings, sponsorship, and the I have learned why I kept engaging in that dance. Nar-Anon Twelve Steps, I am now I have learned how to keep from engaging in that dance. able to deal with life on life’s terms. I Now, I am learning how to do a different dance. accept the good and bad times as they come. I no longer find it neces- There are lessons I still needed to learn. sary to strive to feel good by way of There is nothing like having a test of my program. external gratification. Although I still get caught up in a spin, I can find my balance. Although I still get caught in a twist, I can look at my role in that dance. Although I still get angry, I have learned that my anger covers my fears.

I have a program, and each day I can choose to use it, or return to my Just for today and with the help of my old dance. Higher Power, I will accept the reality I have a Higher Power, and each day I can choose to stay connected or of life on life’s terms. I will strive for fail to ask for help. “feel good” gratification through God- I have a fellowship. I can dance alone with the gorilla, or I can dance in centered inner peace and serenity. harmony with others doing a different dance. Today I am grateful for the realization that my only possessions of true value When one person changes the way they dance, the whole dance are not material. changes! Anonymous Luanne

“Through Step Eleven, I have a conscious contact with my Higher Power. By calming my thoughts, I am able to interpret my path in a peaceful way. Serenity is often my reward.” “Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope,” Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, November 4

3 A Loving Higher Power of Recovery

Tradition Two states: When I reflect on my relationship with And NEVER lets go… my Higher Power, I realize that I too Destination unknown, “For our group purpose there is but am learning to slow down, be at Companion on the trail. one authority — a loving God as He peace and …. may express Himself in our group Learning to trust conscience. Our leaders are but Breathe. Learning to lean trusted servants — they do not gov- Learning to cling Oh, my god, ern.” Learning I am loved To choose the nestle Learning to be cared for In recovery, I have heard that a when I have been living in the Learning to choose Higher Power is loving, caring, and wrestle. Learning to breathe greater than ourselves. The gift of seeing my choices and Learning to believe learning to let go. I see that love, care, and compas- Learning to be free The absolute relief of having a Higher sion reflected in the members of my Learning to be ME Power, fellowship. who holds me as I struggle, Anonymous

Practicing These Principles in all Our Affairs

May 31, 2012, 8:30 pm, my cell ions. Were they trying Courage and Willingness: My doc- phone rings. It is my physician with to instill fear and tors and nurses told me that my the biopsy results from my right doubt? No. Everyone’s willingness and positive attitude breast: Cancer. intentions were good. I would continue to help me sail received hundreds of through the treatments ahead. I’m Acceptance: Now I will have to tell encouraging cards, let- really not sure if I possessed cour- my husband which will make can- ters, emails, and text-messages. age. Maybe courage is a natural cer real. I have been a healthy per- From these experiences I learned outcome of willingness, faith, and son with few physical issues. This how I can be with others who may en- trust. is new territory with new questions dure serious life situations and how to to answer. How and when to tell my respond when someone falls ill. Humility: Acceptance of the support kids, my Mom and Dad, my huge provided by the family and friends extended family? What about work Guilt and Shame: Obsessive thinking who cared for me seemed to have and all those friends? What about barged in and settled. How did I the principle of humility woven my privacy? These are concerns I cause this? I must have done some- through it. My spiritual relationship share and decisions I make with my thing wrong. Am I responsible for my with the god of my understanding husband. family’s suffering? was strengthened and renewed.

Faith/Trust: Doubt and fear crept in Surrender: During meditation, I ob- Freedom: As I struggled with an ex- and tried to roost. With the tools of served old behavior — an over- treme crisis of identity, my daughter my recovery, I replaced fear and developed sense of responsibility said, “Mom, you must accept that doubt with trust and faith in powers which led to self-blame and guilt. With during this time you do not have to greater than myself, my physicians, the help of my Twelve Step recovery DO anything.” Because I was able and the scientific community. tools, I was able to turn obsessive to hear this option, I was free to just

thinking over and re-establish sane BE. Patience/Forgiveness/Gratitude: thinking and serenity. Sanity during Although family, friends, and virtual this difficult time was essential for Paula L. strangers pledged love and sup- good decision-making. December 2, 2012 port, many gave unrequested opin-

4 Giving Back…

Please read this message at your business Quarterly Appeal meetings during the Quarter

Have you ever wondered where Over this past year, we have been your first meeting as your birthday. funding for the Nar-Anon World crippled by price increases for pa- On behalf of the Nar-Anon World Ser- Service Office (WSO) comes from? per, supplies, equipment, rent, and vice Office, I would like to thank the It’s no secret! The WSO, which under-funding of the World Service entire Nar-Anon Fellowship for their houses and prints most of our liter- Conference. I can honestly speak continued support. ature, relies on literature orders for the staff and myself that it is for and donations from groups, areas, the love of this program we do what Cathy K. regions and individuals to pay rent, we do. Therefore, I am making an Executive Director utilities, equipment costs, salaries, appeal to all members to please etc. We have a staff of eight. Two help. PS If you would like to make an indi- are full-time positions and the oth- vidual tax-deductible donation, please By sending a donation, you contrib- ers work part-time morning and submit a check payable to Nar-Anon ute to carrying our message of help afternoon shifts. World Service Office Headquarters Inc. and hope. Another way to say or go online and click on the purple Nar-Anon does not receive any thanks to Nar-Anon is to contribute a DONATE button at http://www.nar- outside funding from grants, gov- dollar amount for each year of your anon.org/naranon/About_Nar-Anon ernments, or private companies. recovery, using the attendance at

Members’ Reflections…

Mini Convention in South Africa

It has become traditional for the bers shared on the topic "Nothing Our area events coordinator and her Western Cape Area of South Africa changes, if nothing changes." sub-committee hosted a great event at to hold a mini-convention in No- These nine members represented the end of a very successful 2012 vember each year. This year it was nine different groups in the Western Nar-Anon year. held on Saturday, November 3, Cape. 2012, at The Mountain Road The Western Cape Area of the Region Each and every person who shared Primary School in the suburb of of South Africa continues to go from delivered an eloquent message of Woodstock, Cape Town, South strength to strength and the Nar-Anon recovery, and they all spoke from Africa. Fellowship continues to provide a the heart. At the end of each beacon of hope to hundreds of family The day was comprised of three session, the audience was given an members affected by the disease of 90-minute sessions with tea and opportunity to share their thoughts addiction. lunch breaks between sessions. and there was much positive During each session, three mem- feedback. Anonymous

5 What Worked for You?

In my group, one person always chairs the meeting and closes the meeting with words of advice on what members should and shouldn’t do. I am not comfortable Last Issue’s Question with this level of control. How can I bring up this issue without upsetting this person or other members of the group?

Suggestion 1 Suggestion 2 Suggestion 3

 Hold a group conscience on how Chances are that if one member is First, I would volunteer to chair a few often the chairperson’s role should not comfortable with this practice of meetings and close by saying we do rotate: for example, weekly or “should” and “should not” that other not give advice; rather we share our monthly. members are not comfortable with it experience, strength, and hope, and  Suggest a workshop on Keeping either. Using the form Taking the perhaps mention that the words we Our Meetings Healthy. Group Inventory, available from hear might not click immediately but  Read the section from the Guide WSO, may help. It gives everyone a will come to us when we need them. to Local Services on Conference chance to inventory the pros and I might also speak directly to the per- Approved Literature (CAL) during cons of their group. This inventory son in private and remind her we the opening of the meeting. can be done anonymously. A sum- don’t give advice, and her closing mary of the results can be present- Carol B. ed and discussed at a group busi- statement not only makes you un- ness meeting. In this way, all sug- comfortable; it sends the wrong mes- gestions are equal and the concept sage.

of “principles above personalities” is If after a few meetings this doesn’t practiced. work, I would ask for a group con-

Anonymous science. Carol R

What do you do when a newcomer shares for a large portion of the meeting? This Issue’s Question I don't get any Nar-Anon hope and I leave feeling worse than when I arrived.

Please email your responses to [email protected] Watch for solutions in the June 2013 newsletter! Did You Know …?

…how much literature WSO distributed Kudos to the WSO staff for keeping track of so many over the past year? Here are the top five orders and for helping unite Nar-Anon members around items and the number of copies of each the world with the Nar-Anon message. that were delivered in 2012: that over the last six months, 36 new  Small Blue Book 19,825 group packets were ordered, and 25 re-  Newcomer Packets 19,167 sulted in new meetings.  Questions on Sponsorship 13,544  SESH 8,258 Congratulations to everyone who had the courage to take this big step!  Large Blue Book 7,933

6

Upcoming Events… 2013

Nar-Anon East Coast Waves of Serenity Convention (EEC) 5 Attending a Thu. March 21 - Sun. March 24 Will be held in Florida in 2014 Nar-Anon Event? Nar-Anon @ GRCNA (Georgia We need YOU! Drop us a line and share Regional Convention of NA) First committee meeting: your experience with other Mar. 23, 11:30 AM EST on Skype Nar-Anon members. Jekyll Island Convention Center 145 Old Plantation Road Please e-mail your Skype name to We’ll post your article in the Jekyll Island, GA Chair Lynne K. Members’ Reflections [email protected] section of the next newsletter. Info: [email protected]

Recovery Changes Embrace The Journey The Freedom of Recovery: Everything! Nar-Anon World Fri. April 19 - Sun. April 21 Convention Sat, March 30 9 am – 6 pm Nar-Anon Convention 2013 Thur. Aug 29 - Sun. Sept. 1 N. California Regional Convention Connecticut, Massachusetts & New Hampshire In cooperation with WCNA-35 Santa Clara Convention Center 5001 Great America Parkway Courtyard by Marriott Philadelphia Convention Center Santa Clara, CA 63 Grand Street 1101 Arch Street Waterbury, CT 06702 Philadelphia, PA 19107 Paula at [email protected] Info: 203-641-9380 Early bird registration: March 31

Trust in the Spirit of Unity 2012 - 2014 World Service Conference Cycle

The World Service Conference  September 4, 2013 - Deadline to  February 1, 2014 - Conference Committee would like to remind the submit regional motions in draft approval track (CAT) material groups, areas, and regions that it's form. available and distributed to re- time to think about preparing motions  October 14, 2013 - Deadline for gions. to be submitted for the Conference all motions to be in final form.  March 3, 2014 - Deadline for re- Agenda Report (CAR). Please email  December 3, 2013 - CAR avail- gional reports and minutes show- the committee for interactive motion able and distributed to regions. ing election or continued endorse- forms ([email protected]).  December 31, 2013 - Deadline to ment of delegate or alternate del- If your region did not receive the invi- inform WSC Committee of re- egate. tation by email, please see the 2014 gion’s intention to participate in  April 2, 2014 - Agenda for WSC conference page on the website WSC 2014 and submissions by 2014 distributed to all attendees (http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ each regional treasurer of equal-  May 1, 2014 - Pre-conference ori- node/964). The conference cycle for ized expense sum. entation - Torrance, California 2012-2014 is also posted on the Deadline for BOT members and  May 2 – 5, 2014 - World Service website. world service committee chairs to Conference 2014 - Torrance,  June 30, 2013 - WSC Committee inform the WSC Committee of California informs each region of equalized their intent to attend the confer- expense amounts. ence. 7 Committee Corner…

Outreach Committee Newsletter Committee

Share your Outreach success stories... eSubscriptions Now Available!

The purpose of the World Service Outreach Committee Sign up for your FREE e-subscription to The Serenity is to increase public awareness of the Nar-Anon Family Connection, at www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ Member_Services/Serenity_Connection Groups and facilitate growth of the membership through outreach. This is accomplished by creating and distrib- Subscriptions to date: 529 uting literature and tools that support outreach at all levels of the fellowship. The launch of the new website and electronic access to The Serenity Connection World Pool Committee provide a dynamic opportunity for this effort. The out- reach page on the new website - www.nar-anon.org/ WOULD YOU LIKE TO JUMP INTO THE WORLD POOL? naranon/About_Nar-Anon/Outreach - provides informa- Have you ever asked yourself, World Pool, what is that? tion and downloadable outreach tools. Check it out. The World Pool is made up of qualified Nar-Anon Outreach is key to sustaining and growing the Nar-Anon members elected at the World Service Conference Fellowship. What is your home group, area, or region (WSC) to be eligible to serve on the Board of Trustees. doing? Tell us your outreach success story so it can be Members actively involved in service work at the area/ shared with the fellowship. Have an idea or story to region/world level for at least 4 continuous years may be share? Send it to [email protected] considered to serve as trustees of Nar-Anon.

Watch this newsletter space and visit the Outreach page Trustees are responsible for instituting the decisions on the WSO website for new ideas and ways to improve made at WSC and for overseeing the World Service your outreach efforts. Office (WSO). Trustees are active members of our world service committees and attend the biennial WSC.

Five or six positions will be opening up in 2014. Interest- Newsletter Submissions ed in applying? Please contact the World Pool Commit-

Articles are welcome from all tee at [email protected]. Application deadline is Nar-Anon members.* October 31, 2013.

Please keep your focus on the Nar-Anon program at all times and share your New Literature experience, strength, and hope (ESH) from New Literature the perspective of a Nar-Anon member. Please submit your articles to: Some new literature from the Nar-Anon Webstore: [email protected]  3 poster set- 12 Steps, Traditions, & Concepts - 2x3 Remember, submissions must have a  Guide to Local Services - changes from conference signed release form before publication.  Guide to World Services - approved at conference  Outreach Poster - 2’x3’  Journal - new price and new binding design  Reading Cards - 11 separate cards (12x12x12+8) Thanks to all who make The Serenity Connection a success with your submissions!

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291 TheTheSerenity Serenity ConnectionConnection Nar-Anon Family Groups Newsletter Volume 29 Issue 2 June 2013

Sneak Peek...

Ever wonder where Nar-Anon literature comes from? Who writes it? Who edits it? The answer is YOU! The story be- low was submitted to the World Service Newsletter Committee for publication in the Serenity Connection. At the same time, the World Service Literature Committee thought this was such a great Step 6 story they asked permis- sion to incorporate it into the Nar-Anon 36. Your story could be next!

A draft version of Steps 4, 5, and 6 of the Nar-Anon 36 is nearing completion and will be ready for review by the fel- lowship very soon. This is your chance to contribute! And here’s a Sneak Peek...

The Tree of Recovery — A Step 6 Story

When I came to the Sixth Step, I move them on my own, but I am will- me. But the God of my understand- had to ask myself “Am I ready to let ing to believe that God can. ing is still producing new growth: a go of ______and let my Higher fresh perspective, a more thankful This week I saw a beautiful reminder Power make me healthy?” I have so heart. As I continue to work the Nar- of how my Higher Power is always at many defects. I know I cannot re- Anon program, new growth will work. The tree in my front yard was steadily crowd out my old dysfunc- slow to change last year. Many dead tional ways. I feed the healthy new leaves clung to its branches through- me by attending meetings, reading Inside this issue: out the winter. But now spring has ar- Nar-Anon literature, developing rela- rived and bright green leaves are bud- tionships with other members, pray- Our Members Share 2 ding out on the same branches as the ing, meditating, and performing ser- old ones. vice. If I neglect any of these prac- Service Guides 2 My defects, my bad habits and un- tices, my growth will be stunted. healthy ways, are the old leaves. After admiring my beautiful tree, I There are fewer of them than there Quarterly Appeal 3 realize I do not have to ask if I am used to be, but as the saying goes, ready to change. Rather, I must be old habits die hard. As much as I willing to accept and be thankful for What Worked for You? 3 would like to shake them off, bitter- the changes my Higher Power con- ness and resentments still cling to tinually produces in me. Ruth K. Financial Statements 4

Committee Corner 6 2012 Financial Reports

Upcoming Events 8 Financial Statements for Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters 2012 financial year can be found on Pages 4-6.

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291

Our Members Share…

Good Fences — Good Neighbors

At a recent meeting, a member needs, issues, and problems that those around me, one that allows me shared about boundaries, mention- they bring to my yard and expect me to share with the world without being ing good fences, good neighbors. I to help out? Do I just give in to what taken over by it. This fence has a began thinking about my life and ap- others want or expect because I am gate that can be locked, allowing plying the principles of Nar-Anon “in uncertain about what I want? some privacy, but it does not shut all our affairs.” I found myself pon- others out completely. I can have a I’ve tried both kinds of walls and nei- dering the nature of fences and fence that says “only so far, un- ther has worked well for me. Some- walls, both literally and figuratively. less…” and I can determine what the times a high wall is appropriate, but My life has many walls and fences. conditions are for letting others in. those occasions are rare. I need to How do I use them, maintain them, put up a wall to protect myself from I’ll be a better neighbor to all those modify them, etc.? the craziness of addiction. around me if I work on finding the Do I, out of fear and anxiety, build right fence with the right message, Sometimes I need to let my defens- high walls around myself, keeping neither too high nor too low and de- es down and let others in. This is not others at bay? Do I imprison myself signed for my recovery. If I do this, I easy to do. Nar-Anon is a wonderful in isolating behaviors, shutting oth- am also a good neighbor to the ad- place to have relatively low fences ers out of every aspect of my life be- dict, my fellow Nar-Anon members, where I can share what is really go- cause I don’t want them to know and indeed to everyone around me. I ing on in my life. I try to help others about the addict? Have I built a wall will be less exhausted, better fo- including newcomers and those in around myself that is impenetrable? cused, and healthier for having a an immediate crisis. Nar-Anon pro- Or do I have such a low fence that good fence. vides a good place for letting down just about anyone can breach it and my defenses and learning to trust. David R take advantage of me? Am I an easy target for other people’s I need a fence between me and

“I have learned to set boundaries, take care of myself and make changes with the help of my Higher Power. Today I am able to make decisions...that I had never dreamed would be possible.” “Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope,” Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, June 4

Nar-Anon Service Guides…

 The Nar-Anon Family Groups’ Guide to Local Services is for members of the fellowship who have found the personal growth and continuous recovery that come from taking an active role in Nar-Anon.  The Nar-Anon Family Groups’ Guide to World Services provides information, explanation, and description of the Nar-Anon World Services’ structure and system.

Download Service Guides for FREE at http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/Member_Services/Service_Guides

2 Giving Back…

Please read this message at your business Quarterly Appeal meetings during this quarter

Did you know…

you can go to the Nar-Anon Family Groups World Services website and click on http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/node/774

you can use a credit card or PayPal to donate?

the WSO will send you a receipt if you want to claim your donation as a tax deduction?

your donations help the Nar-Anon World Service Office with the following:  Stay staffed to answer over 17,000 calls a year  Maintain the Nar-Anon website  Provide outreach literature to health care providers and institutions  Continue developing and producing new Nar-Anon literature  Set a foundation for future additions and innovations to the Nar-Anon program and to the WSO What Worked for You?

Last Issue’s Question What do you do when a newcomer shares for a large portion of the meeting? I don't get any Nar-Anon hope and I leave feeling worse than when I arrived.

Newcomers usually come to a meet-  It relieves some of the newcom- have been directed by my Higher ing desperate for answers and ad- ers’ anxiety by letting them know Power. vice. When we have a newcomer, that others have traveled this before we share on the topic, our road too, and there is hope. Janet K. chair asks one or two members to

share on what brought them to the We also encourage each other to program. I have noticed this serves use the phone list if there is a need two purposes: for strength between meetings. I  It answers many of the newcom- have found that getting a call is what ers’ questions. I needed at that time and feel it must

In our group, we sometimes have members from the same family attending our

meetings - husbands and wives, mothers and daughters, etc. When one family This Issue’s Question member starts to share, the other member corrects or takes over the story. The result is both members sharing at the same time. I believe this is a form of cross- talk. What are some solutions?

Please email your responses to [email protected]. Watch for solutions in the September 2013 newsletter!

3 WSO Financial Statements 2012

4 5 Committee Corner…

Budget and Finance Committee

THE ROLE OF THE BUDGET AND Purpose and objective of the Budget and Finance Com- FINANCE COMMITTEE* mittee:  Review financial information periodically as checks The responsibility of the Budget and Finance Commit- and balances. tee is to maintain a continuing review of the financial af-  Review income, production costs, and expenses to fairs of NAFGH, Inc. Using this information, it is the prepare a budget for the upcoming year. committee’s duty to make appropriate recommenda-  Review financial information for cost effectiveness. tions to WSO, the Executive Committee or the Board of  Review income, production costs and expenses peri- Trustees regarding financial matters. odically to make recommendations or suggestions to WSO or BOT of any cost savings or adjustments that Concept 11 – Nar-Anon funds are used to further our would benefit the financial position of the corporation. primary purpose to carry the message, and must be managed responsibly. *From the Budget & Finance Committee page on the Nar-Anon WS Website.

6 World Pool Committee Policy and Guidelines

IT’S SPRING! JUMP INTO THE POOL! Committee

Would you like to give back to the fellowship by getting involved in service? The World Pool Committee is cur- PARTICIPATE IN GLS and GWS UPDATING! rently accepting applications from members who would The Policy and Guidelines Committee is reviewing and like to serve on the World Service Board of Trustees and updating the Guide to Local Services and the Guide to from members who are interested in serving as a WSC World Services. We invite your participation by sending facilitator. any additions, corrections, or deletions you deem nec-

If you are interested and would like a list of suggested essary for our consideration. The suggestions we make qualifications and an application form, please email the to these two documents will be presented as motions for World Pool Committee at [email protected]. the 2014 World Service Conference. Please send your comments by July 31, 2013 to pandgcommittee@nar- To be considered for election at the 2014 WSC, com- anon.org. pleted applications must be returned by Oct. 31, 2013. Narateen Committee Outreach Committee NARATEEN IS GROWING! SHARE YOUR OUTREACH ACTIVITIES The World Service Narateen Committee’s vision is to Outreach is important to the growth of the fellowship, have Narateen meetings around the world. To do this, and members at the local, area, and regional levels are we need active Nar-Anon members to become Nara- vital to this effort. In the weeks ahead, the World Service teen sponsors and start meetings for local kids. To learn Outreach Committee will be challenging you to join in more, please order Sponsoring a Narateen Group (S- outreach activities. Stay tuned for details. 330) from the literature page on the World Service web- site. Effective outreach requires planning. Look for local recovery events that offer the opportunity to set up an When at least two Nar-Anon members decide to be- outreach booth or plan one of your own. Here’s the link come sponsors and want to start a Narateen group, a to an Outreach Booth Checklist on the outreach/tools New Group Packet (S-302) is available from the litera- page of the WS website. ture page. It is suggested that regions develop sponsor- ship guidelines that follow state, county, and city laws If you participate in an event or plan one, list it on the for volunteers working with children. Our committee is events page of the WS website. Email events@nar- working on suggested safety guidelines which we hope anon.org with the details and if you want to attach an to present at the 2014 World Conference. event flyer, please only send it as a PDF. Currently there are Narateen meetings in the USA in Have questions or need help with outreach planning? Florida, Iowa, Ohio, New Jersey, New Mexico, New Email [email protected] York, Western Pennsylvania, and Maryland, and inter- nationally in Chile, Colombia, Iran, and South Africa. To see the complete meeting list, search for Narateen in Literature Committee the right pane of any Nar-Anon World Service website page. To learn more about Narateen meetings and to Graphic Artist Needed have kids in Narateen submit writings for a new draft We need your graphic design skills to create a cover for book, 31 Days in Narateen, please go to http://nar- The Nar-Anon 36. If graphic design is your profession or anon.org/naranon/Meetings/Narateen_Meetings. hobby, your help is needed on this and other projects. If you have any questions, you can reach us at Nara- Contact the WS Literature Committee at LitCom@nar- [email protected]. anon.org

7

Upcoming Events… 2013

Nar-Anon World Convention August 29 - September 1, 2013 Philadelphia Convention Center Registration: http://nar-anon.org/naranon-store/Nar-Anon_Store/WC_2013.html Sat June 29 to Mon July 1, 2013

Pre-Registration: $49.00 Auditorio Colegio Jomar Calle 38A Sur No. 45A-80 Envigado until June 30, 2013 Medellin, Colombia Regular Registration: $59 Contact: convetcionregioncolumu- [email protected]

Journey of Hope Feed the Spirit The Joy is in the Fri July 5 to Sun July 7, 2013 Sat Sept. 21, 2013 Journey XXIV

Orlando World Center Marriott Re- Nar-Anon Spirituality Breakfast Fri Dec. 6 to Sun Dec 8, 2013 sort & Convention Center The Brass Rail Restaurant 8701 World Center Drive 3015 Lehigh Street New York Region 2013 Convention Orlando, FL 32821 Allentown, PA 18103 The Villa Roma Resort 340 Villa Roma Road Phone: 407.239.4200 Information: Callicoon, NY

Nar-Anon@FRCNA XXXII Nancy H 610-437-6323 or "Sometimes I Carry the Message; Mickey B 610-432-3374 Sometimes the Message Carries Me”

Serenity Connection eSubscriptions Available!

Sign up for your FREE e-subscription to The Serenity Connection, at www.nar-anon.org/naranon/Member_Services/Serenity_Connection

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Newsletter Submissions

Articles are welcomed from all Nar-Anon members.*

Please keep your focus on the Nar-Anon program at all times and share your experience, strength, and hope (ESH) from the perspective of a Nar-Anon member. Please submit your articles to: [email protected]

* Remember, submissions must be accompanied by signed release forms before publication.

** Next Deadline: July 20, 2013 **

Thanks to all who make The Serenity Connection a success with your submissions!

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291 TheTheSerenity Serenity ConnectionConnection Nar-Anon Family Groups Newsletter Volume 29 Issue 3 Sept 2013

Nar-Anon Goes Digital!

We are proud to announce that Nar-Anon has gone digital! Now you can read Nar-Anon literature wherever you are on your tablet, eReader, and/or mobile phone. Never be without it! Nar-Anon  The SESH daily reader can be purchased in over 50 countries for $14.99 USD (or the equiv- alent*) from Apple’s iBookstore. It may be downloaded onto any or all of your Apple mo- bile devices (iPad, iPhone, or iPod touch). SESH SESH is also available at the same price from the Amazon Kindle Store for as a download to a Kindle, smart phone, tablet, Mac, or PC.

 The Nar-Anon Blue Book can also be pur- chased digitally on Apple’s iBookstore and the Amazon Kindle Store for $0.99 USD (or equiva- Inside this issue: lent*). Download a copy to read on your device of choice.

Our Members Share 2  Thirty-One Days in Nar-Anon is the latest Nar- Anon digital literature to be made available on Service in Nar-Anon 3 Apple’s iBookstore and the Amazon Kindle Store for $4.99 USD (or equivalent*).

It’s Your Turn 5 SESH ● NAR-ANON BLUE BOOK ● Committee Corner 6 THIRTY-ONE DAYS IN NAR-ANON

World Convention 6 *Available in all countries where these stores operate.

Upcoming Events 7 God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Giving Back 8 Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291

Our Members Share…

My Puzzle

I used to have a two-sided puzzle. the picture is clearer. If not, I will heart. When I find something that All the pieces were the same shape need to set the piece aside, be- works to bring my heart and mind in- and the same picture was printed on cause it either doesn’t fit, or it just to balance, a part of my recovery both sides. It was a puzzle of pa- isn’t time yet to find its place. If I try locks into place. I might get frustrat- tience. There were times I wanted to to force the piece into place, the ed or need to rest in my journey and knock the puzzle to the floor. It was picture is not clear and I don’t know even try to sweep my recovery onto so frustrating. Even if parts did fall, what to do with the next piece. the floor as I did with my real puzzle. the pieces stayed interlocked tightly Yet, as with my real puzzle, the piec- I have found that the pieces I am and were still where they needed to es never totally fall apart. Sometimes putting together to create the Nar- be when I could find the patience to I have to get them back in order, but Anon road for my own recovery start again. they are still waiting for my return. journey also have two sides. When My Nar-Anon journey is just like that the two sides align, I get a clear I try each new piece I find and know puzzle. First I seek out all the edges picture. The two sides of my recov- that setting it aside only means it is and create my boundaries. I keep ery picture are my mind and my not yet time for that piece. It does not coming back to assess the different mean I have failed. My recovery is shades and hues of the things I am about finding the patience to try one learning – and where they might fit. piece at a time until my heart and All the pieces are the same, yet the mind balance. When I find the bal- picture is different for each person in ance, I know I am on the right path. the program. I have to keep coming back to find another piece to see if Dawna

H.O.W*

For the longest time, I felt responsi- clear there are things I said and did ing that the only one I can change is ble for causing the addiction of my that contributed to negative out- myself, will certainly have a ripple ef- loved one. This feeling had a spiral- comes. There is nothing I can do to fect I can live with. This will help to ing effect on me as I then felt shame change the past. Like the addict, I make an impact on those I love and and extreme guilt that I not only de- have today to make good choices care for. Life is short, beautiful, and stroyed my son, but was also re- for me, put the past to rest, surren- worthy of great care. It's a journey of sponsible for damaging the lives of der to God, and look to the future. I hope, love, growth, success, and those around me who were affected choose to surround myself with abundant joy with the help of a good by my behavior as a result of his ad- positive loving people; and I too, attitude, friends, and my Higher diction. can be the best me possible! Power. He gives me everything I need. It is my choice to keep an Through the help of my Higher Pow- I was not to be part of the cure, so I open mind and be willing to change. er and the tools of Nar-Anon, I now freed myself from being part of the know I am not responsible for the problem. Being honest with myself *Honesty, open-mindedness and choices of others. However, it is first, then with others, and accept- willingness

2 Why Do I Work the Steps?

Going to meetings gives me great haviors and self-will on others? I cause I am not an addict? Do I fo- comfort. After watching the addict in realized I cannot genuinely practice cus on the literature that says “your my life start to recover and begin to the traditions without practicing the progress can be made in your own time change, I realized that I too had to steps. And yes, I will be inflicting and in your own way.”* as an excuse take a look at myself. What was I my controlling self-willed nature on not to work the steps? Have I shift- blaming on others? What inappropri- others if I do not look at myself and ed my need to fix or control from ate behaviors was I trying to excuse? my motives. the addict to the members of my As I began to address my character group? The same is true for the concepts defects, I began to practice Step of service, the principles guiding I keep attending meetings to learn a Twelve and carry the message to those that serve. If I do not practice better way. Long ago, I stopped others. my steps before serving others, coming for the addict and started Recently I was doing service with a how can I serve them according to coming for me. I keep coming back member who had been coming to the the God of my understanding and to work on my recovery and make program for many years but had nev- the guiding principles of Nar-Anon? my life the best it can be. At meet- er worked the steps. I thought about Can I make amends to others in ings, I choose to share from the “I” this and asked myself “Can I truly the program if I am not working on perspective rather than from the work the traditions or concepts if I me? Is it always them I am working “you.” When I share ”I” first, I am have not worked on my own recovery on and never me? Am I actively us- sharing how the program worked first?” How will I recognize my char- ing all of the guiding principles of for me. I cannot tell you what to do; acter defects if I have not worked the our program in looking for solu- I can only share what worked for steps? If I do not take a daily invento- tions? Do I think of myself as differ- me. I will keep working on me. ry and practice the steps, am I un- ent from the addict, that I do not *Blue Booklet - Page 12 knowingly inflicting my controlling be- need to work the steps just be-

Service in Nar-Anon…

Letter from the President

Hi Fellow Members, program. I cannot speak for you, nate delegates are highly encour- but it was my own thinking that got aged to join a world service commit- Have you ever been at a meeting, me into Nar-Anon and what I heard tee. Do you know how many com- convention, unity day, etc. and heard, was that we do this together. mittees we presently have? The “Why don’t we have this in Nar-Anon majority of members on each com- yet?” When I hear this, my initial I am a member of the Board of mittee are also trustees, delegates thought is “What are you doing to Trustees, however, my responsibil- or alternate delegates. Most of us help?” Rather than complaining about ity as a Nar-Anon are members of more than one the problem, take a moment to see member does not committee; some belong to two or how you can be part of the solution. stop just because I more. WHY? I think it is lack of attend Nar-Anon Have you done service only within communication coupled with the “I Board meetings. your group? Do you have a sponsor? don’t know hows” that are still out All trustees, dele- Do you sponsor? If not, why not? His- there. gates, and alter- tory has shown us Nar-Anon is a WE ...continued on page 4

3 Letter from the President…..continued from page 3

Did you know the WS Newsletter help. If you are already serving at the When I sit in Nar-Anon meetings, I Committee that reviews, edits and group, area or regional level, why not continually hear about helping vs. compiles this newsletter is com- assist on the respective WS commit- enabling. I know I enabled, but jus- prised of only five members! The tee? We spend so much time in WS tified it as helping. So, if I could WS Narateen Committee has six committee meetings trying to help spend endless hours, days and, members, two from international re- Nar-Anon grow, and who knows, yes, years helping the addicted gions. The WS Outreach Committee your input on what works and what loved one(s) in my life, I could cer- has six members. There are other doesn’t could help speed up this pro- tainly help our fellowship continue committees as well that need your cess. to MOVE FORWARD. Karen

One of Nar-Anon’s Best Kept Secrets!

Concept One – “the groups have joined together to create a structure” Concept Two – “the final authority rests with the groups” Concept Three – “groups delegate to the service structure” Concept Four – “leadership qualities should be carefully considered”

In Concepts Five through Twelve, states, “The final responsibility and mean to you and your group? we find the words accountability, re- authority for Nar-Anon services rests Those who serve on boards or sponsibility, spiritual group con- with the Nar-Anon Family Groups.” committees must consider the science, two-way communication, The Concepts of Service are a guide needs of the fellowship first and integrity, decision-making process, provided for those performing ser- foremost. The service boards and and service not governance. vice, so they fulfill the needs and committees need to know your ideas of the fellowship. needs and ideas. As members of Recently, I have become aware of Nar-Anon, we have a responsibility an amazing tool of the Nar-Anon Though many of us come into Nar- to be resources for these boards program. Most of us read, study or Anon focusing on our addicted loved and committees. Among other ave- work the steps. Some of us study ones, along the way we learn about nues, this can come from the mo- and use the traditions. However, service (Step Twelve – carrying the tions that are taken to the regions few of us take note of the twelve message). This turns our thoughts to and, in turn, to the conference concepts of service. While re- our own recovery and to the mes- where your delegate can vote on searching the concepts, I came sage of hope we give to others who the group conscience of the region. across some very interesting are still suffering. thoughts and ideas. How many of I would like to encourage all mem- The primary purpose of Nar-Anon is us know that the groups make the bers/groups to take these concepts to help the families of addicts. How decisions for the fellowship, taking seriously; read them, study them, do we do this in our groups, areas, those decisions to their areas, re- write about them. Use them. They and regions? What do the concepts gions and beyond. Concept Two have a powerful message.

“My responsibility is to serve the members, whether my work is voluntary or professional; the only authority in Nar-Anon is a loving Higher Power as expressed through our group conscience” Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope, Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, September 15

4 It’s Your Turn...

Just For Today

During my home group tonight, we  Just for today I will spend some of the fellowship. Drop us a line at read through the "Just For Today" time reading Nar-Anon litera- [email protected] and section of the Nar-Anon Blue Book. ture. we’ll make this a regular newslet- When it came time to share, one ter column. member said she has her own “Just What are your favorite “Just For Todays”? Are they affirmations that And one last thought… For Today” list that she uses.... guide you? Are they touches of  Just for today I won’t mind  Just for today I won't look for my humor that lighten your day? other people's business. I have husband's drugs. We invite you to share your favour- enough trouble minding my  Just for today I won't follow him. ite “Just For Todays” with the rest own!

What’s Worked for You?

At Nar-Anon, we learn to share the Please reflect on the questions “We thank our Higher Power for experience, strength, and hope that posed by our readers and consider Nar-Anon. Together we can.” (Sha- we gain through working the Nar- sharing your thoughts and experi- ring Experience, Strength, & Hope, ences with the rest of the Nar- Anon program. We share lessons we Nar-Anon Family Groups’ Daily have learned and carry the message Anon fellowship. Send feedback to Reader, April 7). to those who are still suffering. [email protected]

I recently received a call from a woman demanding how I knew her husband and why my phone number was in his phone. I asked his name and she told me. I recognized the name as a fellow Nar-Anon member. I had no idea how to This Issue’s Question answer. I am sad to say that I asked her if he attended Nar-Anon and she said “oh, ok” and hung up. After the call, I realized that this could be a potentially dangerous situation for someone attending Nar-Anon in secret. What would have been a better way to respond to her question?

Please email your responses to [email protected]. Watch for solutions in the December 2013 newsletter!

Letters to the Editor

Here’s your chance to tell us what YOU think. The Newsletter Committee would like your feedback on the articles and news published in The Serenity Connection. Send us your thoughts, comments, suggestions, beefs! We’ll read them all and publish a selection of your letters right here! Drop us a line at [email protected]

5 Committee Corner…

Literature Committee

Do you speak English? World Pool Committee Parlez-vous français? Talar du svenska? Nar-Anon threw you a lifeline. Now you can give back what was so freely given to you. ?Taler du dansk אתה מדבר עברית? Would you like serve on the Board of Trustees or serve as the WSC Facilitator? Вы говорить на русском? We Need You! Mówisz Polską? Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Application deadline is October 31, 2013 あなたは日本語を話しますか？ Please contact the World Pool Committee at [email protected] Snakker du norsk? ...Save the Date هل تتكلم العربية؟ ?Türkçe biliyor musunuz Parlate italiano?

If you can answer “yes” to the first question and any oth- Hidden Treasures of Recovery er question, and want to be of service to the Nar-Anon Sept 19 - Sept. 21, 2014 fellowship, please contact the World Service Literature ECC5 - East Coast Convention of Nar-Anon Committee. We need help with translations so people around the world can share their experience, strength, Crowne Plaza - Tampa Westshore 5303 West Kennedy Boulevard and hope. [email protected] Tampa, FL 33609

Nar-Anon World Convention 2013

If you attended the Nar-Anon World Convention 2013 in Philadelphia, we want to hear from YOU!  Did you meet new members or get back in touch with old friends?  Did you learn something new that you’re dying to share?  Are you filled with inspiration and ready to rock your group, area, region, country?!  If you travelled to the US to attend the convention, we’d particularly like to hear from you!

Please put pen to paper and share your experiences with the rest of the Nar-Anon fellowship. [email protected]

“With honesty, wisdom, and acceptance, I find serenity. I can follow new paths, broaden my horizons, and live a better life.”

Thirty-One Days in Nar-Anon, Honesty — Day 15

6

Upcoming Events… 2013-14

Feed the Spirit Pacific Northwest 23rd Annual Nar-Anon Region Sat Sept. 21, 2013 Southern California Spiritual Weekend 2013 Regional Narathon

Nar-Anon Spirituality Breakfast Fri Sept. 27 to Sun Sept. 29, 2013 Sat Sept. 28, 2013 The Brass Rail Restaurant 3015 Lehigh Street McKenzie River Conf. Center Lakewood Presbyterian Church Allentown, PA 18103 54705 McKenzie Highway 5225 Hayter Avenue Rainbow, OR Lakewood, CA 90712 Information: Nancy H 610-437-6323 or Jan 541-636-4792 Scott N. Mickey B 610-432-3374 Darlene 541-343-2119 [email protected] Nar-Anon Spiritual Helping Hands & The Joy is in the Breakfast Hearts 2013 Journey XXIV

Sun Nov. 3, 2013 Fri Nov. 22 to Sun Nov. 24, 2013 Fri Dec. 6 to Sun Dec 8, 2013

Twin Hills Country Club Seven Springs Mountain Resort NY Region 2013 Convention 700 Wolf Swamp Road 777 Waterwheel Drive The Villa Roma Resort Longmeadow, MA 01106 Champion, PA 15622 340 Villa Roma Road Callicoon, NY Betsy 860-684-2002 (h) Patty 412-916-7563 (c) or 860-729-1805 (c) [email protected] "Sometimes I Carry the Message; [email protected] Sometimes the Message Western PA Nar-Anon Convention Carries Me”

Are you ready for the Motions? WSC2014

Concept Two – The final responsibil- thority. As we read and discuss the  How will this motion affect my ity and authority for Nar-Anon ser- motions, we need to ask ourselves: group? vices rests with the Nar-Anon Family  How will this motion affect Nar-  Have I read the traditions and Groups. Anon as a whole? concepts so I can make an in-  Has the financial impact of this Concept Six – Group conscience is formed decision? motion been considered?  How will my group, area, or the spiritual means by which we in- vite a loving Higher Power to influ- region come together to make a As Nar-Anon members, we make ence our decisions. group conscience? our voices heard through the con- ference. This is our responsibility. The 2014 World Service Conference Shall we all take a look at the tradi- is fast approaching. Each Nar-Anon World Service tions and concepts before we re- member will be asked to review the Conference 2014 ceive the motions so that we can motions presented to the conference make an informed decision to send later this year and make an informed May 1 - May 5, 2014 to our delegate? decision on each one. As stated in DoubleTree Hilton Concept Two, we, the members, 21333 Hawthorne Blvd. Deadline for motions in final have the final responsibility and au- Torrance, CA 90503 form: October 14, 2013

7 Giving Back…

Please read this message at group business Quarterly Appeal meetings during this

Did you know Nar-Anon is celebrat- buy: th ing its 45 year? The first newcom-  100 pieces of candy ers came to Nar-Anon 45 years ago  3 gallons of gas and put a dollar in the basket when it was passed around for the 7th  20 stamps Tradition.  4 movie tickets

this is after you stopped at the gas At that time, depending where you Wow, a dollar went a long way! station and for $30.00 maybe got lived: So, when the 7th Tradition basket is half a tank of gas, please remem-  gasoline cost 32 cents a gallon passed at your meeting, remember ber to Dig Deeper.  penny candy was actually a your group pays rent, buys literature, Your group, area, and region penny and makes regular donations to the along with WSO need your help.  milk cost 99 cents a gallon area, region, and WSO. A newcomer The WSO staff works diligently to  movie tickets were 25 cents packet is $1.50, a Blue Book is $1.50, and a US stamp is 46 cents. keep up with supply and demand.  a first-class stamp was 5 cents With all of our exciting changes  a new home was $23,300 As you sit holding your $4.49 Grande, and growth, we need your help extra-hot, double-shot, half caffeine, and funds to continue carrying the Therefore, with a dollar you could half non-fat, low-whip latte, of course message.

Newsletter Submissions

Articles are welcomed from all Nar-Anon members.*

Please focus on the Nar-Anon program and share your experience, strength, and hope (ESH) from the perspective of a Nar-Anon member. Submit articles to: [email protected]

* Submissions must be accompanied by signed release forms before publication.

** Next Issue Deadline: October 20, 2013 **

Serenity Connection eSubscriptions Available!

Sign up for a FREE e-subscription to The Serenity Connection, at www.nar-anon.org/naranon/Member_Services/Serenity_Connection

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Your submissions make The Serenity Connection a success! Thank you!

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291 TheTheSerenity Serenity ConnectionConnection Nar-Anon Family Groups Newsletter Volume 29 Issue 4 Dec 2013

Nar-Anon World Convention 2013

International Members Share Their Experiences*

It was a wonderful Although I didn’t understand well time for me to be with enough the speak in English, I the Nar-Anon mem- could feel the speaker’s spiritual bers all over the feeling. So I enjoyed all the time world at the Nar-Anon World Conven- during the convention. Moreover tion in Philadelphia. The volunteer because of the member’s kindness, members were working with smile I felt as if riding in the same boat wanted to know about outreach which made me feel at home. I really named “Nar-Anon Unity”. The at- work, American members kindly thank the volunteers for the great ef- mosphere of this convention re- spared their time, which was a won- fort to prepare everything. minded me of the previous conven- derful experience for us. tion. When we prayed the Serenity Pray- Eight years ago I joined the Nar- er, I and another Japanese member Anon World Convention held in Ha- always said it in Japanese with hap- Inside this issue: waii. At that time I felt a very warm py feeling. Both of us said “Serenity atmosphere with the American Prayer is world wide! We can share Our Members Share 3 members there. Then I had been in English and Japanese!” It was thinking and praying to see them nice. Both of us loved the words fol- again somewhere in a Nar-Anon lowing after that which are “Keep Service in Nar-Anon 4 event after that. Then my dream coming back! It works if you work it. came true at this time in the event And you’re worth it, so work it!” Newsletter 4 in Philadelphia. I really felt that my Submissions I now feel and believe that the Nar- Higher Power led me there! Anon Twelve Tools of Recovery are Committee Corner 5 I enjoyed the 50/50 raffle as well as useful for those who have been af- the open speaker’s meetings. I fected by someone else’s addiction. bought Nar-Anon literature which I My sponsor said to write in my jour- Upcoming Events 6 had wanted to buy for a long time. nal and I’ve been doing that. Then When I asked a member if it was I’ve realized that journaling means I It’s Your Turn 7 possible to share her experience can face my feelings so that I also with me, she kindly accepted and face working Step One. I come Giving Back 8 spared time for me. When I and three other Japanese members ….Continued on page 2

Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291

More Sharing from the Convention

...continued from page 1 sian Nar-Anon brothers and sisters convention. “Oh, ORIGAMI”! Even and let them know how truly inter- though the language was not under- back again to Step One which says national and strong our fellowship stood, we understood each other in “we are powerless.” is! our hearts.

 Thanks for the Nar-Anon World I now know that there is a very big I’m glad I made the decision to come Convention in Philadelphia. country in the world not listed in ge- to Philadelphia. This time I met a ographical lists because it has no  Thanks for the members I met young member from Russia. Alt- geographical boundaries, it exists there. hough I couldn’t understand the de- on every continent of our planet  Thanks for Higher Power. tails of her speech, her experience and this country is called Nar-Anon.  Thanks for my addict who led me and courage were transmitted by the This is what I felt at my first world Nar-Anon. tone of her voice and the expres- convention!  Thanks for the program. sions on her face. I felt an intimate Irina (Russia)  And thanks for my sponsor so connection with her. I gave her the folded paper crane and gestured that much! This visit was very “The crane is a migratory bird com- The Japanese Convention this year significant to me as ing and going between Russia and will be held in Hokkaido (Northern I have been a Nar- Japan. Nar-Anon is like a crane part of Japan) in November. I’m ex- Anon member for freely connecting across borders.” cited to go there. 14 years. I wanted to participate in Mariko (Japan) a world convention to share with I am thankful to the Nar-Anon con- friends around the world. However, vention committee for preparing a My name is Irina and I can hardly speak English and can- great experience. Members from all I'm from Russia. I not understand it. over the world welcomed me warmly, cheerfully and spiritedly. My stay at would like to thank Then I thought I would load a paper everyone who made the convention was very enjoyable. crane with my feelings. A Japanese the world convention in Philadelphia paper crane is a symbol of peace I feel (am convinced) Nar-Anon Fam- come true. This was the first world and a prayer of recov- ily Groups are a world- convention for me and it's still hard ery. When it suffers wide fellowship. I am to put all of my wonderful experienc- from a critical illness thankful for a loving es into words. and is hit by great sad- Higher Power. I am

What I'd like to say first of all is that ness, it gets down from thankful to Nar-Anon the love and care I received from my a crane praying intently. World Service for sup- Nar-Anon brothers and sisters from And if a thousand birds porting Nar-Anon Japan all around the world is one of the are suffering, a thread will tie them and I hope we all meet again on our most precious gifts I have ever re- together into a thousand paper journey of recovery. ceived in my life! And I carried all cranes: “SENBADURU.” JANJAN (Japan) this love and care back to Russia. Some Nar-Anon friends asked me *Editing was limited to retain the es- I'm so grateful to God for giving me how to make paper cranes and we sence of the articles written by our the chance to share it with my Rus- folded them together right at the international members.

I experienced great sadness when I lost my husband after a long illness… Later, as I walked in the woods, a hummingbird...flew right up to me. I took this particular bird as a sign from (my husband) that it was okay to let go and get on with my life. Since that day, I have had happiness and peace in my life.

Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope, Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, August 30

2 Our Members Share…

Applying the Principles of Nar-Anon

Every week in meetings around the to justify what I want? simple respect? world, members read the steps and  When a new idea emerges, am I  Do I have control issues? Am I traditions. Many members struggle to taking into consideration all of aware that I have control is- find a sponsor, desperately wanting the traditions and how they apply sues? to work the steps. Other members to that idea? If one tradition  Am I applying the principles of have no desire to work the steps or would be broken but five others the program, or only my inter- get a sponsor. Having experienced would be in compliance with an pretation of them? the recovery of an addicted loved idea, does that mean we still pro- one, I had the desire to experience ceed? Or do we say, “Well, it’s a Only through a complete study and my own recovery through the appli- good idea but times are changing understanding of the steps, tradi- cation of the Nar-Anon steps and and that makes breaking a tradi- tions and concepts can I apply principles. tion acceptable.” these principles to my program. In- terpreting the traditions and con-  Do we have struggles in our ser- In order to truly understand myself cepts does not equal a complete vice committees and would it be and what makes me tick, I work the study of them. I owe nothing less different if we applied the tradi- steps. For me to be able to coexist to myself and to others whom I tions to our service work? with others, whether in my group, my serve. After all, would I want my  Do we have personality conflicts home, or at work, the application of doctor to only have heard how to and only think our way is the the traditions is essential. Since I do surgery or would I want him to right way. How can the traditions have decided to practice the Twelfth have in-depth knowledge? The help with this? Step and do service beyond the same goes for my accountant, hair  Do I need to get credit for my group level, my understanding of dresser, mechanic, and dentist. ideas or is being a humble serv- how to serve comes from the study of the concepts of service and their ant enough? Many of the struggles in my life application in my service.  Do I speak honestly and listen and in this program can be simply with an open mind? Do I really dealt with by a complete under- What do the traditions mean to me? listen or do I respond without ac- standing of the guiding principles Beyond reading them in the meeting, tively listening to what the speak- and the application of these in my I have to break them apart and study er has to say? life. They are as applicable today them.  How do I treat others? Do I treat as they were all those years ago them the way I treated the addict when they were written. Although How do I apply them? in my life? Or do I treat them with times might change, fundamentals  Can I take one tradition and use it do not.

on the panel of "Long Timers", and it member. I was so glad I had Narathon a Hit was gratifying to share my experi- something to give back because I ences. Afterwards, someone came have gained so much over my The recent Narathon event was a up to me with a hug and good things many years with Nar-Anon. The very good experience. I started out to say about how my sharing really drive home was much better, dreading the drive, but once I was hit home with them. It was enlighten- basking in the goodness of it all. there with the great range of people ing that something I said turned out Thankfully yours - Old Jack from our program I felt good. I was to be so meaningful to another

3

Service in Nar-Anon…

Outreach Challenge!

Step Up! Take On The Challenge!

We’ve been talking about it and now it’s here! WS Outreach Challenge #1 is outlined below or click here to find it on the WSO website.

It’s a step-by-step guide to help your group with the outreach process and to carry the Nar- Anon message.

We’re off and running – now it’s your turn. Ready! Set! Go!

WS Outreach Challenge #1 Challenge Goal:

To distribute Nar-Anon information (i.e., informational flyers, meeting schedules, tri-fold brochures, posters) to locations around the community.

Suggested locations: bulletin boards at libraries, restaurants, supermarkets, laundromats, oil change/carwash businesses, post offices, barber shops, hair salons, movie theatres, and/or doctor/dental offices waiting rooms. (See Nar-Anon Outreach Folder for additional suggestions.)

What to Do: 1. Print/purchase copies of the information/literature your group would like to distribute. 2. During announcements at weekly meetings, encourage members in your group to help with distribution. 3. After meetings, discuss locations to target. As assignments are made, keep track of the specific loca- tions and members assigned to them. Suggestion: set specific location categories for each week of the month, (e.g., Week 1: libraries and post offices, Week 2: supermarkets and laundromats) 4. Check/replenish information supply monthly.

If you have questions, need help with identifying the information to post, or would like to request support with this challenge, please email [email protected]

Newsletter Submissions

Articles are welcomed from all Nar-Anon members.*

Please focus on the Nar-Anon program and share your experience, strength, and hope (ESH) from the perspective of a Nar-Anon member. Submit articles to: [email protected]

* Submissions must be accompanied by signed release forms before publication.

** Next Issue Deadline: January 20, 2014**

4 Committee Corner…

Literature Committee

World Service Literature Committee Vision The WS LitCom does not work alone

For the past seven years, the World Service Literature We have sent out numerous messages to the fellowship Committee has followed a vision that we continue to through our newsletters, convention workshops, pam- strive to achieve - to have regional literature commit- phlets, and emails to get as much help as we can. We tees around the world all working together with us, us- don’t turn down help that is offered. We take all the writ- ing a unifying set of principles to create the Nar-Anon ings that come to us and sift through to find the best literature we so dearly need. message.

A great amount has been achieved. Literature commit- The Nar-Anon 36 will truly be a book written by our fel- tees in Florida and New York work on most literature lowship as we have contributions coming in from coun- pieces. Their input has been invaluable. We also work tries and regions around the world. Brazil has given us a with literature committees from South Africa and Rus- terrific foundation with their traditions’ book, but we won’t sia. Most recently, we are receiving help from the stop there. Russia, South Africa, and Australia have Northern California literature committee. Each time a been asked to help. We know there are many different new piece goes out for fellowship review, it is sent to perspectives and ideas on traditions and concepts, and countless countries including Argentina, Brazil, Japan, so, we shall seek them out. Don’t be surprised if you see South Africa, Russia, Denmark, Canada, Australia, Bo- a traditions or concepts writing workshop at your next Nar-Anon convention. We want to hear from as many livia, France, Colombia, and Sweden. members as possible. Perhaps that’s why our First Tra- South Africa submitted a pamphlet on boundaries that dition mentions “personal progress for the greatest num- they think the fellowship needs. It is very good. Florida ber depends on unity.” We need great numbers of ideas, Regional LitCom also has the beginnings of a bounda- writings, suggestions and thoughts on creating meaning- ries pamphlet. So we are now combining these two to ful literature for all. create an even better pamphlet with experience, strength, and hope from a larger base of writers. Once it is in the draft, it will go through several more reviews. This pamphlet can only improve. In the end, there will be a great many eyes that have read this and contrib- uted to it to make it the united voice of our fellowship. THE Contact [email protected] NAR-ANON THIRTY-SIX

Nar-Anon literature reminds me that without practice, detachment is merely a theory mentioned in a brochure. Detachment may take time and practice. My Nar-Anon friends keep me on track. Each day I will work towards the freeing feeling of detachment. Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope, Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, April 27

5 Please share this newsletter at your Narateen Committee Narateen meeting!

Narateens: We need your shares for our new booklet  they cannot control or change anyone but them- 31 Days in Narateen! Please write a share about how selves Narateen has helped you. Send to LitCom@nar-  they can develop their own potential with their spir- anon.org itual and intellectual resources Want to start a Narateen meeting? Have a member of A Narateen member shares: Nar-Anon email: [email protected] When I came to Narateen, I was sure no one else felt Narateens are members of the Nar-Anon Fellowship like me. My dad raged a lot and when he would start, I and, as the name implies, Narateen is designed for would hide in my closet, quiet as a mouse, until it members in their teens. Through group meetings, we seemed safe to come out. Mom said he was “in a bad learn from each other effective ways of coping, while at mood but would feel better soon.” Why was she always the same time gaining some peace of mind and hope for taking care of dad and not us? I knew Dad was using a better way to live. Narateen members help one anoth- drugs, and he WOULD feel better, once he got what he er by sharing their experience, strength, and hope. needed. At my first meeting, a member shared a story Narateen members learn: that had happened to me! We talked after the meeting,  addiction is a disease and now we talk on the phone in between meetings. It feels so good to know I am not alone.  they are not the cause of anyone else's drug use Kristine  they can detach themselves from the problems of For more info about Narateen, go to http://nar- their addicted loved one and still continue to love the anon.org/naranon/Meetings/Narateen_Meetings person

Upcoming Events… 2013-14

Hidden Treasures Together We Can World Service

2014 New England Region Conference 2014 of Recovery

Nar-Anon Convention May 1 - May 5, 2014 ECC5 - East Coast Convention April 25, 26, 27, 2014 of Nar-Anon

Courtyard by Marriott DoubleTree Hilton Sept. 19 - Sept. 21, 2014 Downtown Waterbury 21333 Hawthorne Blvd. 63 Grand St Torrance, CA 90503 Crowne Plaza - Tampa Westshore Waterbury, CT 06702 5303 West Kennedy Boulevard Tampa, FL 33609

“Words of wisdom are not my forte, but I have found the healing effect of sharing my concerns with others. The times I most want to hide out with my problems are the times I most need to reach out to others.”

Sharing Experience, Strength, and Hope, Nar-Anon Family Groups Daily Reader, October 30

6 It’s Your Turn...

What’s Worked for You?

At Nar-Anon, we learn to share the Please reflect on the questions “We thank our Higher Power for experience, strength, and hope that posed by our readers and consider Nar-Anon. Together we can.” we gain through working the Nar-Anon sharing your thoughts and experi- program. We share lessons we have (Sharing Experience, Strength, & ences with the rest of the Nar-Anon learned and carry the message to Hope, Nar-Anon Family Groups’ Fellowship. Send feedback to those who are still suffering. Daily Reader, April 7). [email protected]

I recently received a call from a woman demanding how I knew her husband and why my phone number was in his phone. I asked his name and she told me. I recognized the name as a fellow Nar-Anon member. I had no idea how to Last Issue’s Question answer. I am sad to say that I asked her if he attended Nar-Anon and she said “Oh, ok” and hung up. After the call, I realized this could be a potentially dan- gerous situation for someone attending Nar-Anon in secret. What would have been a better way to respond to her question?

 Once I composed myself, I would calmly identify myself by first name only, then suggest she ask her husband.  I might say that I belong to a number of groups who share phone lists in order to be available should there be a need to contact one another. The next time I went to a meeting, I would privately tell the member I had received the call and let them handle it from there.  I would debrief with my sponsor to be prepared in case it happened again.

I went to a meeting that uses The Lord’s Prayer. It makes me feel uncomforta-

ble. I didn't grow up in church, I don't know the words, and it sounds like a reli- This Issue’s Question gious prayer. I like my meeting but this makes me so uncomfortable I don't want to keep going. But there are no other meetings near my home. What can I do?

Please email your responses to [email protected]. Watch for solutions in the March 2014 newsletter!

What have you learned this year? Just For Today

”Having had a spiritual awakening ….”  Just for today I will greet the morning with a smile on my face As another year draws to a close, Step Twelve gives us an opportunity to and a song of gratitude in my heart. reflect on what has changed in our lives as a result of working the Nar-Anon program. “What have I learned this year? What was my spiritual awakening?  Just for today I don’t have to be right. I may be right but I don’t have Where was I a year ago and how am I different today?” Your personal stories to prove it. and reflections bring experience, strength, and hope to your fellow Nar-Anon members. Please share your spiritual awakening. [email protected]  Just for today I will love myself.

7 Giving Back…

Please read this message at group business Quarterly Appeal meetings during this quarter

Dear Nar-Anon Members: number), provide meeting infor- mation, maintain the World Service Too often we take for granted website, provide outreach literature to things others do for us. When we institutions (e.g., doctors, public came into Nar-Anon, we had no health departments, churches, and idea there was a World Service Of- schools) and rehab centres, connect fice. Our intent was to attend meet- isolated groups around the world, ings to recover from this disease of publish and print Nar-Anon literature, addiction, but that doesn’t stop the and help new Nar-Anon groups WSO from continuing to make sure worldwide. We all want Nar-Anon to the message of hope is provided to be there for the families and friends everyone. who find themselves affected by a How does that happen, you might loved one’s addiction. On behalf of the Nar-Anon World ask? To fulfill the primary purpose, By sending a donation, you contribute Service Office, I would like to all contributions are used to meet to carrying our message of help and thank the entire Nar-Anon mem- expenses for worldwide services, hope. Another way to say Thanks to bership for their continued sup- including the operating expenses of Nar-Anon is to contribute at least port. the World Service Conference $1.00 for each year of recovery (WSC). Your contributions also help In loving service, (using the attendance at your first the WSO answer over 17,000 calls Cathy K. meeting as your “birthday”). each year (toll free and its local Executive Director, WSO

Literature Sales Steady WSO Donations Down...

2013 Jan-Oct 2012 Jan-Oct 2013 Units Sold 2011 2012 (first 9 Donations ($US) mo.) (10 mo.) (10 mo.) SESH 5,817 8,258 6,543 USA $36,679 $31,849 Nar-Anon 36 n/a n/a 2,550 Newcomer 17,321 19,167 14,685 International $6,559 $4,868 Packets

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Nar-Anon World Service Headquarters, 22527 Crenshaw Blvd. #200B, Torrance, CA 90505 Website: www.nar-anon.org Email: [email protected] Phone: (310) 534-8188 or (800) 477-6291