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Taking Back My Life

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Taking Back My Life FRAN DRESCHER Taking Back AFTER YEARS OF BURYING HER PAIN, THE STAR My Life SAYS SHE HAS FINALLY FOUND INNER PEACE By CHRISTINA DUGAN Her Happy Place “As life unfolds, you get wiser and more grounded,” says Drescher (with her dog Samson near her Malibu home). Photographs by CHRISTIAN WITKIN HAIR: JON LIECKFELT; MAKEUP: GREGORY ARLT/FORWARD ARTISTS; MANICURIST: CHANTALYNN HUYNH; STYLIST: TERRY GORDON TERRY HUYNH; STYLIST: CHANTALYNN MANICURIST: ARTISTS; ARLT/FORWARD GREGORY MAKEUP: HAIR: JON LIECKFELT; February 17, 2020 55 “I have to be able to ask for help. I have she says. “Peter started to have control 1991 to be vulnerable. I can’t just be strong.” issues that I found somewhat suffocat- CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT: RON GALELLA/GETTY IMAGES; DIMITRIOS KAMBOURIS/GETTY IMAGES; TRAE TRAE IMAGES; KAMBOURIS/GETTY DIMITRIOS IMAGES; GALELLA/GETTY RON RIGHT: TOP FROM CLOCKWISE Having grown up in Queens with ing, and only in hindsight do we now a father, Morty, who worked with understand that he was working so hard PATTON/NBC; EVERETT; PARAMOUNT/KOBAL/SHUTTERSTOCK; SETH POPPEL/YEARBOOK LIBRARY PARAMOUNT/KOBAL/SHUTTERSTOCK; EVERETT; PATTON/NBC; Fran Drescher isn’t easily ruffled. Take, computers, and a mother, Sylvia, who to control his authentic self, his true ori- for instance, her approach to notori- worked behind the cosmetics counter at entation.” Two years after the marriage ously horrific Los Angeles traffic. Curled a local drugstore, Drescher says her “joy- ended, Jacobson told Drescher he was up in the plush master bedroom of her ful” home shifted the moment her older gay, but their love for one another never beachside Malibu home, the actress and sister Nadine fell horribly ill (Drescher faded. “I now lovingly refer to Peter as comedian remains philosophical. “You declined to elaborate on the nature of my gay ex-husband,” she says. Drescher, could get road rage and think, ‘Oh God, the illness). “That pivoted the family’s who met Jacobson in high school, com- I’ve got to get to where I’m going!’ Or you focus and balance onto [my sister],” pares leaving the relationship to “walk- Fcan think as Buddhists do: Look around, says Drescher, who didn’t want to be ing through fire.” “I had never done take that in, and maybe see something “an additional burden” to her parents. anything for myself that was against that will surprise you,” she says. “It helps “At a very early age I got the message the will of somebody else that I cared you to accept life as it presents itself and to feel bad if something was about me. about,” she says. “And that was part of be grateful for it.” And that’s probably why I’m an actress, L o v e my problem. I kind of had a back seat Not Lost Yet finding calm amid chaos certainly because at the end of the day, nobody in my own life. I was making everybody “We were best didn’t come easily for Drescher, whose becomes an actor if they don’t on some friends,” says else happy but not really myself.” unmistakable laugh and thick New level want to say, ‘Look at me, Ma.’ ” Drescher of One year after her divorce was final- York accent have brought joy to fans Determined to find purpose and a ex-husband and ized, Drescher was diagnosed with uter- still close friend for decades. Reflecting on her darkest sense of self, Drescher chose to fol- Jacobson (right, ine cancer—a diagnosis that required moments—including a terrifying rape in low in the footsteps of television icons in May 2019). an immediate radical hysterectomy, 1985; a very public divorce from her hus- such as I Love Lucy’s Lucille Ball and I “We had the which also opened her eyes. Her old same dreams band of 21 years, Peter Marc Jacobson, Dream of Jeannie’s Barbara Eden and and made each habit of not asking for help “became in 1999 (after which he publicly revealed started landing minor TV and film roles, other laugh.” like a real mental block, and I had to he is gay); and a uterine cancer diagnosis including her first major break, in Sat- break through it,” she says. “I think in 2000—Drescher, 62, says comedy was urday Night Fever alongside John Tra- that getting cancer was my opportunity, her way of masking her hidden pain and volta. “I decided I should try and make up running for six years. “That definite- because I couldn’t do it alone. It opened insecurities. But now Drescher—who is my living out of something that comes ly changed me significantly,” Drescher me up to realizing that helping and sup- starring on NBC’s new comedy series really easily to me and doesn’t feel like says. “I wanted to do it all, and I did. It porting and advising other people gives Indebted and developing a stage musi- work,” says Drescher, who was once told was a very fertile time creatively.” you a false sense that you have your cal adaptation of her hit ’90s sitcom The by a theater teacher she would have to Despite the success, Drescher was s--- together. But that’s really the dis- Nanny for Broadway—says she’s taking change her high-pitched, nasal voice if dealing with a secret, unimaginable pain. traction of it all.” Drescher says she was her life back one day at a time. “In order she ever wanted to be successful in the In 1985, at age 28, the actress and a friend able to “gain a lot of clarity” in therapy: for me to be well-rounded, I have to industry. But in 1993 Drescher (along were raped at gunpoint, while Jacobson, “I was in such crisis and feeling feelings sometimes make it about me,” she says. with Jacobson) created The Nanny, then already Drescher’s husband of sev- that I never really allowed myself and which she wrote, produced, directed and en years, was forced to watch. “After the saying out loud things that I felt guilty starred in as Fran Fine; the show wound rape, my friends knew, but I couldn’t about just thinking, for my growth as even call my parents and a human being. Now I’m Rise to Stardom tell them. I had my sister tell ‘Everything not really obsessed with them,” she recalls. “I never that happens being the best, most need- The Nanny wanted to be any additional to you is an less, ever-there caregiver. Drescher became a stress for my parents, hav- Turning pain into purpose household name as Fran ing seen how traumatized opportunity’ pivots you back into the Fine for six seasons (from —FRAN 1993 to ’99). “It’s okay that they were from when my DRESCHER driver’s seat.” I don’t have Meryl Streep’s sister was young and having Now relying on her faith career,”, she says. health issues. So I’d go into my room and in Buddhism and the lessons she’s be by myself and quiet for hours. I didn’t learned has helped conquer more than want to ever have to tell them something gridlock: Drescher says she has a new- This Is was wrong with me.” found love for the woman she’s become. Spinal Tap Meant to Shine Drescher played From there Drescher and Jacobson’s “Getting really connected to myself has “I was always intrigued publicist Bobbi marriage spiraled downward over the been a great journey,” she says. “Now I’m Indebted by acting,” says Saturday Night Fever Flekman in the 1984 course of the next 14 years. “I wasn’t not even feeling like I have to be in a rela- Drescher (in 1975), In her first notable role, in 1977, Drescher film—and reprised “It’s funny and has a great energy,” says who studied theater as Connie asked John Travolta’s character the role on The Drescher, who plays a grandmother named Debbie feeling as happy as I thought I’d feel with tionship, because I’m in a relationship in high school. about his skills in bed. Nanny years later. on the new NBC series, premiering Feb. 6. money and fame and creative control,” with myself. And it’s going quite well.”• 56 February 17, 2020 February 17, 2020 57.
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