The Green Caldron

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jMl BUILDING use Of^V

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T-HECPsfEN CALDKON

VOLUME 1 November, 1931 NUMBER 1

THE GREEN CALDRON

l^iov&mb&r 1931

CONTENTS

Veteris Vestigia Flammae—John F. Marshall 2 Rationausm in Rhetoric Instruction—James Phelan ... 3 A Recent Fad in Clothing—Jean Paterson 5 A Little Germany in America—Elisabeth Bailey 6 The Guest Towel—Marvin L. Coyne 7

Memories of Home—Alfred C. F. Scherer 8 — The Great American University Warren W. Krughoff . . 9 — Third Class Versus First Class Miriam Bttchholz . . . H On Trees—Clarence Bernard Horowit:: 12

How I Like to Spend Money—Douglas Cameron 14 A Romanticist's Remedy for Boredom—Brita Berglund ... 14

Houses I Have Lived In— Virginia Clara Rohlfing 16 Motion Pictures, Limited—Nat Cohen 17

How to Play Tennis—Jack E. Anderson 18 My Favorite Antipathies—Anonymous 19

Mrs. Sparrow—Sally Fulton 20

Beneath the Seas—Andrew S. Draper 21 The End of a Miserable Day—Helen Love Anderson ... 24 Grandfather—Pauline Conard 26 Trouble—Madeline Cord 27 Intelligence Preferred—hiazel Waxier 31

VOLUME I NUMBER 1

I ! 77265 c

Veteris Vestigia Flammae

John F. Marshall

This poem was used by the writer as a conclusion to an essay dealing with the sort of experience of which the poem furnishes an example, Rhetoric II, 1930-31.

My dear, when this that we call love is dead,

As in a box on which we've closed the lid.

Then I'll recall a hundred things you said And countless gay and trivial things we did: The day we shopped for hats

(The following day it poured), The books you liked or did not like. The play that shocked me thru and thru And left you merely bored. But there will come a day when I shall meet, Say on a bus or casually on some street, A woman vaguely like you And wonder—did your lips curve thus and so? And were your eyes a deeper or a lighter blue? And half ashamed confess—I do not know. Rationalism in Rhetoric Instruction

James Phelan

Long exposition, Tlienie 6, Rhetoric II, 1930-31.

TT IS a seemingly obvious fact that a world's literature than will the advertise-

* cannon ball shot in Dubuque, Iowa, ment writers of the Daily Illini.

will not kill an ostrich on an Australian Yet it is for this three- fourths that

veldt. The cannon may make a glorious the rhetoric course is planned, where it noise and the cannon ball may scare a is planned at all, and when the members herd of cows eight miles out of town, or of the remaining and superior one- fourth

knock a good-sized hole in some silo, but bellow out their dissatisfaction, they are the ostrich will remain totally unper- politely told to go and get exempted,

turbed, its plumes waving in the soft which is, crudely and honestly put, the

Australian breeze, and its flow of gastric faculty's way of saying "If you don't

juice unimpaired by any premonition of like it here, go to hell." It is the choice danger. of insanity in the rhetoric kindergarten

Of suchlike incongruity is the method or death from thirst in the Sheol of liter- of rhetoric instruction here. No sane ature 10a or 10b. In either case the po- person will deny that the art of writing tential Conrad perishes and the cart of as practiced by the freshmen here offers education rolls lumberingly on. an excellent target for the faculty's guns The plan, considered from the view-

—one wonders how a random shot in point of cultivation of excellence, is fan-

. any direction can fail to hit a cleft in- tastic. Why deprive the best in order finitive or a muddled metaphor—but the to bludgeon the inferiors? There would

instructors fire round and round, hitting be some measurable sense to it, perhaps, nothing, not even knowing at what they if the second-raters profited from the are shooting, nor exactly what they course. But the planning for their wel-

would do about it if they did know. fare ceases with the heaving out of those There are two things which work for of the neophytes that show ability. Then good writing, inherent ability and urge, indeed does the outlandishness of the and ardent, meticulous practice. In deal- plan of study blossom into fullness. The ing with the first, the instructors are, of remaining freshmen are introduced to course, helpless. Three out of every four Literature as selected and capitalized by

freshmen do not like to write, are in- the local patriarchs of rhetoric ; to

capable of anything except stiff, bun- Mathew Arnold, to Paul Elmer More, gling, limping prose. They lack the liter- to Sweetness and Light, to The Criter- ary urge, the desire to read, the moving ion. They are shoved into the field of passion to write, to say unusual things in sterilized and air-proof literature from a startling manner. They may have their which they take their involuntary and heads pounded for a year and finally balking choice for book-reports. They learn, perhaps, to respect a complete in- make the acquaintance of Impromptu finitive, but they will add no more to the Themes, better known as literature at a dead run, and Outlines, or belles-lettres the Civil War, rode down to the sea. catalogued and indexed. On top of this It will be upon the other group that

fare is added such sauce as the teacher the training will concentrate. For them may fancy; interesting comments upon there will be arduous practice and point- the museums of Germany if the in- ed, purposeful criticism. No longer will structor be a former globe-trotter ; en- they work one day and rest six; no lightening facts on the bearing of the longer will criticism by the instructors Latin clavis upon the English word, con- consist of writing PS4 and LD^ on the clave, if he be a philologist. Finally manuscript in red ink. The course will emerging from this ordeal comes the be founded upon recognition of the fact staggering freshman, drunk on the soda- that it is to instruct not in Matthew water of More, astounded at the richness Arnold's philosophy nor in ancient Greek of the Malerakademie at Berlin, dazed history, but in good writing, and that it with similarity between the Greek ij.rixo.vn can do this only by demanding rigorous and the Latin Machina, but still prone to practice, and by offering authentic, quali- setting forth his ideas in one-syllabled fied criticism. Such an exacting course words. will be, naturally, elective, but I think

that it attract ability, . Now common sense prompts one to will those with hesitate at attempting to reform such an since they shall have learned by then that august assembly as the rhetoric stafif, and writing is a hard master, and they will besides, it is a bit doubtful if anything come gladly. And at the same time it short of carbon-monoxide could turn the will frighten away the unqualified, the task. And they are, after all, doing no lazy, the merely pompous and wordy great deal of harm. The material upon such as my classmate who speaks of the which they are allowed to work cannot atheist Burbank as knowing and per- be rendered any worse than it is ; the forming the will of God. really talented pupils have skipped out, It will cause the Utopians who shall or if they remain, they are doing so for found this course a moment or so of the entertainment and with the cogni- worry to dispose of the present rhetoric zance of the amusing fact that they can staff, and in view of aiding them I make probably write as well as their in- a few suggestions. Some of the staff structors. Improvement, when and if it would undoubtedly make good Methodist comes, will provide for the division of ministers, and the more fluent could be- the students into two classes, those who come dispensers of patent medicine. The cannot write, who will never learn to less lovely females could be made into

write ; and those who have at least glim- excellent missionaries, while the better mering possibilities. The first group will blessed ones would be able to shift well be trained on fundamentals, on the high- enough for themselves in such profitable school principles, until they instinctively fields as the movies or the night-club avoid writing "he don't" and ending business. Those who are left over after sentences with prepositions. Beyond this this weeding out could be shot, and no

the course will not go ; to these pupils great harm would be done the world. Sweetness will mean only some Tri-Delt, Two or three could be saved for the and Light only something which is museums. absent from Bradley's dance hall, while Meanwhile, the business of firing can- Sherman will remain a man who, during nons from Dubuque goes merrily on.

— 4 — Likewise, the ostrich of unlovely prose of senility, or fall unexpectedly into some remains peacefull}' within our midst. I deep chasm. It will not perish, needless herewith offer a short prayer that it die to say, from gunfire.

A Recent Fad in Clothing

Jean Paterson

An impromptu theme. Rhetoric I, 1931-32.

npHE new Empress Eugenie hat has ly and I believe the reason is, that one ' caused almost as great a furor of gets the same enjoyment out of putting public opinion as prohibition. Men all on the new hats and gowns, with their pretend they hate the new, tiny head- old-fashioned lines and trimmings, as gear; yet they stare with fascinated gaze one gets out of browsing through the at each on-coming supporter of the old trunks in grandmother's attic. It's mode, wondering credulously how the the old fun of getting "dressed up." The weaker sex defies so successfully the modern youths express adverse opinions ancient laws of gravity. Older women upon the subject of Empire hats, but have hailed the new style with joy in when they were small, their ideal hero- their hearts, for it is a return to the ines were taken from picture books of romantic mood of the Gay Nineties, fairy princesses, with long, golden hair, although the style originated long before brocaded gowns and hats with plumes; that. The men of the older generation so, although they will not admit it, down protest violent dislike for the Eugenie, deep in their hearts they really like the but a broad grin of pleased surprise silly, little hats even though they make greets the wearer when she looks par- fun of them. After all, there are very ticularly feminine and appealing in her few people who really do not like the petite chapeau. The girls of today have pert little reminder of the Empress supported the Empire period hat strong- Eugenie.

S — A Little Germany in America

Elizabeth Bailey

Theme 2, Rhetoric I, 1931-32.

THE BAND of which I was a member State demanded the teaching of some had been hired to play for the amiual English the school spoke German. school picnic at St. Peter. I knew little We were early, and so I sat down to about the place, but the way in which the watch the crowd passing me. Although it other members of the band laughed and was the middle of June and extremely talked about "German sauerkraut" made hot the little girls wore long-sleeved me anxious to see just what kind of vil- dresses, black shoes, and long black lage St. Peter was. I knew that it was stockings. They acted more like women

German, but until I had visited it I could than like the happy carefree children not realize just how different it was from that they should have been. Babies wore any other village that I had visited. long, old-fashioned dresses, and many of Going to St. Peter we drove for miles them were already restless. The women through prosperous farmland. Although did not seem to realize that their babies the farm houses were neat, there was should have been at home. Unless the nothing about them that suggested home babies came the mothers could not, and or comfort. Most of them were painted the mothers wanted to come. My great- spotless white, but frequently they had est shock came when I looked at the no window curtains, porches, or lawns. women. They wore black, and their hair Many had the potato patch or the chick- was drawn tightly back from their faces. en yard in front of the house. Every- Even on this day of celebration they thing was quiet around these houses, for looked tired. I saw rather young women, the women and children had gone to the who looked old and worn, carrying small picnic, the one big event in their lives babies in their arms. The men were rug- from year to year. In the fields the men ged farmers, all of them smoking pipes, were still working, for it was harvest and one could tell that they liked plenty time, but they would come to the picnic of beer. The boys were miniature men, in the evening. tr3ang to develop a swagger and be as Finally we arrived at St. Peter. Along much like their fathers as possible. one dusty street was located the town. There was a program given by the It consisted of a general store, meagerly school children, and we assembled on the stocked, a few houses, and a blacksmith band stand to play while they marched shop that had added a gasolene pump to through dust and hot sun down the one meet modern need. At the end of the street. They carried small American street stood the center of community life, flags, and it was the first suggestion of a large white church and a two-room America that I had felt. The children school house. The children were sent to sang the old German songs with much the school for an elementary education gusto, very little tune, and always in a and religious training. Except that the high, nasal soprano. Then the school master, a small dark German with a large ideals, and acquiring them he would help mustache, led them in singing Columbia, to raise the standards of his community the Gem of the Ocean. It was jerky and above its narrowness. Each look into the

uncertain, but it was American, despite face of some worn-out mother, slaving the German accent of its singers. and struggling in a community where We of the band laughed at the singing, any other life was impossible, made me but deep in my heart I felt a certain hope sincerely that the boys and girls, warmth for that attempt to be really with their American flags and song,

American. It meant that some child could make this little "Germany in would catch the vision of American America" disappear.

The Guest Towel

Marvin L. Coyne

Informal essay, Rhetoric II (first semester) 1930-31.

GUEST towels, like Eve's apple, and the arrival of the guests, the or- should be seen but not touched. dinary towels are allowed to remain on They are objects of art, and like the ex- the hooks behind the bathroom door. By

pensive china they are seldom taken four-thirty, however, they vanish as if

from the corner closet. One must gaze into space, and there is nothing left to on them from a distance, hoping some do but look behind the radiator for the day to be privileged to use them but soiled turkish towel. This has probably

knowing all the while the futility of this been used to polish shoes, but it is soft

ecstatic desire. and is not forbidden fruit. The guest towels are dainty affairs with The guests arrive and naturally the fancy embroidery on the ends. We would first thing they do is to remove the dust trample on a beautiful flower rather of travel. First one retires to wash up than pluck one of them from the rack. and emerges shortly, cleansed and dry; It is not only the horror of soiling such then another follows suit and joins the gorgeous articles but fear of the conse- rest, freshened and dry. I am the last quences should we do so that keeps us one to enter the bathroom and behold! from defiling them. I fear that their use Everyone of the precious towels hangs would result in nothing less than a ner- as it was, unsoiled and untouched. On vous break-down for mother. They have a solitary, uninviting hook hangs one been her pride as long as I can remem- exceedingly limp bath towel. There is ber, and I believe that she always will no think highly of them. doubt as to the good-training of When the precious articles are hung our guests. They know their visiting up, it means only one thing: guests for etiquette. the evening. During the intermission As for the history of the guest towel, between the placing of the sacred objects I know nothing. It may have started

— 7 — when woman first learned to sew. The home. I must be weak, because in spite question of the moment is, When will it of all my intentions I have failed. It end? Sometimes I think I hear the be- will take a man of courage and vision, ginning of a revolt against this thing, I believe, to rise and show others the supposedly for guests. Sometimes I have way. What a historic day it will be when felt that I myself would be the martyr to at last, driven by some unknown force, the cause and use the guest towel, never he will step and stamp on the guest towel in someone else's home—for that would which he has soiled and thrown to the be an unpardonable sin—but in m}^ own floor!

Memories of Home

Alfred C. F. Scherer

An impromptu theme, Rhetoric I, 1931-32.

WHENEVER the chimes of the law I go to German class daily, where the building tower ring forth their people once more talk nothing but Ger- melodies, thoughts are carried four my man. Why should I not feel at home thousand miles from here into the city now ? I can converse with anyone in my of Kiel, Germany. There I immediately mother tongue. The conversation is the see a tower similar to this one, and hear same as one with a friend at home. I its chimes playing the very same melody. go to the library and get a German book The memory makes me happy because I just as if I got one from a library back feel as if I were at home.

Again when I go to the armor}' for home, written in the same language. military drill, and watch other boys When I stroll down the broadwalk, I march back and forth, I cannot help but see hundreds walking with me. Now and visualize the scenes back home during the then I see a bicj'cle pass by. My mem- World War. I see large armies of boys ories are at home, where students walk marching to war. They do not seem to and ride bicycles also. The trees along be any older than those at the armory. the broadwalk make my memories more And when I participate in the drill, I am like home because they are so much like again back home with my school comrades, for a regular military workout the linden trees. I have found a place before school takes up. like home at the University of Illinois. —

The Great American University

Warren W. Krughoff

IVritten in Rhetoric II, 1929-30, at the beginning of the semester, after the reading by the class of a series of essays dealing with educational ideas and ideals.

SINCE I am the laziest man on earth, ball, basketball, and the rest of the col- I intend, when I can get the necessary legiate sports. This faculty will be the financial aid for the venture, to establish Great American Athletic Team. The a lazy man's heaven, the Great American Professors of Baseball will play a University. The University will be Supreme Series each year with the win- located in California—on the seacoast and ners of the World Series for a Champ- near Los Angeles. The campus will con- ionship of the Universe. To insure a sist mainly of boundless golf links and good team in football, the members of innumerable tennis courts and swimming the Ail-American Football Team will au- pools. There will be dormitories enough tomatically become the members of the to accommodate all students and a mag- Great American Football Team of the nificent stadium finished in white marble. next season. The predominating feature of the There will also be a Department of campus, however, will be the C. P. A. Liberal Arts, Sciences, Law, Engineer- which is not a glorified statue of the ing, and Similar Conveniences. This Great American Accountant, but the department, called simply the Depart- University building known as the Central ment of L. A. S. L. E. S. C. by the Pavilion for Assembly. I will speak undergraduates, will be located in New more about this later. York City and will broadcast lectures The Faculty will be divided into three to the University. These messages will sections. The first section—the Depart- also be free to the radio public, thus con- ment of Social Science—will consist firming the title of Great American mainly of ex-movie stars. (The Univer- University. sity will undoubtedly kill the moving- The prospective student of the Uni- picture industry.) Their sole duty will versity will register by putting a certain be to attend the daily convocation held number of Double Eagles in a slot. (I in the C. P. A. and to teach the students have not calculated the number of coins in the knowledge of their department. to charge for tuition. That is a minor The department of second importance detail. Three or four thousand should be will be the Department of Physical more than enough.) The student, after Supremacy. The members of this depart- he has finished the simple operation of ment will be engaged in their profession inserting the coins, will turn a crank and mostly out of love for their work, as receive a delightful surprise package. An their salaries will be limited to possibly envelope w'ill be delivered which will as little as ten times that of congressmen. contain several cards. One will give his Their duties will be to play the members room number, another will give his class of faculties of other universities in foot- schedule, and the rest will be class at- tendance cards, addressed to his instruc- door and down a chute into a shower in tors. He will write his name on a piece the room below. Here he will then dress of paper, insert it in a second slot, turn and dine and later in the evening go to a second crank, and receive a rubber the C. P. A. The convocation here will be stamp of his signature with which he presided over by the Great American will stamp each card. He will then put Dance Band, which will be composed of the cards addressed to his instructors in the world's greatest musicians as the mail will a box which adjoin the registra- Great American Team will be composed tion machine. of the world's greatest athletes. The There will be only University two music will be broadcast, so that every regulations. One will be the rule that all radio in America will be a center of students must be in bed not later than education. 8 A. M. The other will be the law that I regret to inform prospective custom- any student caught with a textbook will ers that there will be final examinations. be put on probation, and anybody found A dictaphone will make records of the reading a book will be immediately ex- various lectures. The wise student will pelled. Eight o'clock will find the student put these records in a large cabinet sleeping peacefully. At his bedside are labelled "Notes," after having labelled ranged a series of devices. The first is them for quick reference, "Antennae of a cigarette lighter with cigarettes. Then the Crocididae and other Prehistoric there are rubber tubes marked "Water," Beetles," or "Obsolete, Obsolescent, and "Lemonade," "Coca-Cola," "Malted Archaic Low German Verbs of the Milk," "Ginger Ale," "Wine," "Beer," Fifteenth Century." When the instructor "Whiskey," "Pure Alcohol," "Plain asks a question on an examination, the Poison." Besides this there is a tele- industrious student will then broadcast phone on which he can order food, which the proper record to his outwitted in- will be delivered by a dumb waiter. structor. The instructor, at the end of Above him is an electrically correct each semester, will put on each class card clock ; this clock contains a tape perfor- the sides of isosceles tri- ated to correspond to his schedule. At two equal an the proper time the clock wakes him up, angle, connect their mid-points by a and he tunes in on class. His weight straight line, and send it to its owner. At on the bed completes an electrical circuit the end of the eighth semester, a cuckoo which lights an electric bulb opposite his will jump out of the clock, bow three name in the office of the New York times, and put a beautifully engraved

instructor, showing that he is present. three- by five-inch diploma in the stu- When the clock rings the end of the dent's hand. A cycle in the life of the hour, he will go back to sleep. And so University will then have been com- his day continues. At 6 P. M. the bed pleted. The Director will then wind up tips and rolls the student through a trap- the machinery and start over again.

•10 — ing madly from one empty pleasure to the history of Jerusalem, London, Paris, another, but by quiet contemplation of which have been set into the fagade of common things very close to home. the Tribune Tower. A little farther north, Money is not necessary, particularly, nor abutting the walk, is an inconspicuous is the painfully trying chit-chat which grilled entrance leading to a court mod-

people use to fill up any vacant moments eled after the Italian manner. Here is an during which they might otherwise be outdoor restaurant unparalled in Chicago obliged to think. Nothing is necessary for oiifering delight to a person "given but a good pair of legs and a profound to dainty indulgence in the pleasures of weariness of all artificial amusements. the table." It is aptly called Le Petit A good place to start would be at a Gourmet. Nothing could be more com- tiny library in the Art Institute. Al- pletely refreshing than a sudden transi- though this room houses somewhat tech- tion from the rudeness and discord of a nical books essentially for students of busy thoroughfare to the quiet grace of painting, sculpture, architecture, and an aloof world enhanced by gentle tink- music, there is a choice collection of gen- ling of fountains, sweet smell of freshly eral literature which would interest a washed terrace, and bright nodding of person of any taste. Among the shelves pleasant-faced waitresses. Here is relax- one can also find, here and there, de- ation for an hour or two, in an atmos- lightfully unexpected biographies of phere washed with wet fern, blue sky, artists and writers, just the books one and sparkling water. has always had a yearning to read but On another day, when the mood of has never quite managed to find time for, the weather has changed and wind and the particular volumes never seeming to fog prevent idle basking in sunny courts, be at hand at the right moment. One it is restful to walk down to the docks may pick up a life of Michael Angelo, and lose oneself in the mist and the rain, perhaps, and sit down to read it between the coal smoke, and the noise of fog- an earnest looking middle-aged man horns. On a huge grey rock, one is free painstakingly copying music scores, and to stare undisturbed at the grey lapping a snappy young woman reading articles water, the silent grey gulls, and the slow, on "Interior Decoration." This failing to unearthly creeping of boats. At Belmont suit the mood, one might dip into an Harbor, small sailing vessels tug at the account of gardening in the Renaissance buoys and lean before the wind. As the period or find an inviting corner in which fog continues to roll in, enveloping the to pore over a ponderous copy of Gul- shore in premature darkness, a caretaker liver's Travels, profusely illustrated. rows out to light the lanterns. First only When the warmth and silence have his small light is visible; then the prow brought a drowsy, lazy feeling, an hour appears and an oar dips out of the water. of George Dasch's exhilarating concert He makes an excellent subject for pencil music nearby will revive a desire for a sketch or etching. brisk walk down the Avenue. The sunny Lacking boats and harbors to carry side of the street will lead past furniture away his imagination, the coddled city displays tastefully arranged, a painted man might try the effect of a ride on the steamship model enticing the bored one upper deck of a bus. This will be more to the cold, clean regions of Scandinavia, enjoyable if he has a hearty companion and a collection of stones pregnant with who is not afraid of being wet by the

•15- rain. Neither must he be too dignified low one to show him that simple joys to take a lively delight in the strong, are in the end the best remembered, I steady pressure of the wind and to laugh am sure he would give up his fallacious at the insane jolting and the dazzling idea that the best entertainment is neces- flash of street lamps which rush by sarily the most costly. He would de- within arm's reach. For most grown per- velop an interest in the outdoors, which sons bus riding has become stale, but to would have much more satisfactory ef- me it has always seemed, especially on fects than long hours spent drinking un- windy nights along the lake shore, an ex- wanted liquor and exchanging empty talk cellent stimulus for sluggish imaginations. If our ironic "clifT-dweller" would al- in smoky living rooms.

Houses I Have Lived In

Virginia Clara Rohlfing

Written in the final examination in Rhetoric I, 1930-31.

HAVE always regretted the fact that mornings my brother used to set me up I I've never lived in the same house on the tool bench while he swept the long enough to be able to say "See that floor, and, if I didn't make any noise or big nick in the wood work. I did that bother him, he'd give me some walnuts with the carving knife once when we when he was through. were playing 'Little Red-riding Hood', After that, we lived in a series of and I was the wood chopper," or "See apartment houses. I had grown rather that loose tile on the hearth. We used used to the cellar, and missed it greatly. to hide things there when we were My brother and I found solace, however, small." All my friends, or, to be more in riding in the dumb waiter. Dumb correct, my brother's friends could tell waiters were lots more fun than cellars,

all sorts of stories about every scratch but after getting stuck between floors, on the wall, and every dent in the floor. we sort of lost interest in them. I think My family, however, never lived in the my mother didn't care for dumb waiters same house long enough to wear off after that either, because just after my much more than the newness. brother and I lost interest in them, she The first house I ever lived in isn't decided to move into a house with a very clear in my mind. The only thing yard.

about it which I can remember is that It was an awfully nice yard. It had a

it had a big porch all the way across the garden and everything. Once more An- back, and a great big cellar. Saturday drew, my brother, had a Saturday task

16 — —

to perform. He had to weed the garden. moose head. Mj' mother didn't appre- At first I used to help, but after a bit, ciate the enjoyment I got out of riding he decided I was more of a hindrance that, because after she discovered why than a help. After that I watched. m}^ "Here I am" came from up near By the time we moved again, Andrew the ceiling, she moved the bookcase. was too big to enjoy entertaining a Since then, we have moved several younger sister; therefore I was left on times. As I grew older, the moves be- my own hook to find amusement for came fewer and further apart. I've lived myself. I found it, but it didn't last very in our present home for three years long. We had an enormous moose head but there aren't any dents or scars in the over the fire place in the living room. It woodwork, or any walnuts in the cellar, had huge horns (or do you call them or any loose bricks on the hearth. There antlers) and rather coarse fur. It was isn't anything to associate anything with. great fun to climb from a chair, to the It's home, though, and worth looking top of a bookcase, to the neck of that forward to seeing again in June.

Motion Pictures, Limited

Nat Cohen

Theme 5, Rhetoric I. 1931-32.

IT MAY be definitely stated that no in- fellow citizens. Let us consider first the stitution devoting itself to the enter- shop-girl. From a humdrum existence tainment of the American people has dominated by a glowering floor walker, achieved such outstanding popularity she is wafted into a world of romance during the last twenty-five years as the where the floor walker is displaced by an "movies," or "talkies" of more recent east-side immigrant with a Spanish ac- connotation. To countless types of men cent and a name full of vowels. Next let and women, young or old, from the shop- us consider the shop girl's "sister under girl who would no more miss her favor- the skin," the wife of the second vice-

ite hero in his latest movie than forget president. This woman is a social to apply her lip-stick, to the self- climber, her goings and comings featured sufficient Ph.D. who treats this form of (magazine section preferred) in the Sun- entertainment with contempt (but rarely day editions. She has "listened to her misses a show) —the movies are a fact as voice" most carefully in an effort to con- vital as tooth-paste, motoring, bargain vey that "world weariness" which is matinees at the ten cent store, and Coco- never absent from the intonations of a Cola. certain Swedish "star." She drops her Let me point out why the motion pic- eye-lids and lifts her eye-brows—the Ro- ture has taken such a hold on the hearts tarians will convene in Los Angeles in and purses of such a wide variety of our 1934. Let us proceed cautiously to the

— 17 — Ph.D., the gentleman, the scholar, in educate our public to the really fine whose presence one has a feeling of awe values and teach them the beauty that

and reverence. He masks his penchant is to be found in the higher types of the for the wistful sweetness of certain light- drama, there would develop an entirely brained Hollywood-wiarfe ingenues by new and vast field in the motion picture "going in" for the intellectual stimulus industry. The shop-girl, instead of going supposed to be occasionally afforded by in raptures over our Spanish friend, the cinema. And lastly let us have a look would graduall}' be trained to the fine at Young America. A thrill runs up and quality of acting represented by at least down their backs when the villain in the a dozen accomplished actors whose early "horse operetta" gnashes his pearly- names are scarcely known, and yet who white teeth and emits a vociferous: pass before them on the screen as often "Damn you, Jack Dalton," to the present as the five-thousand-dollar-a-week vari- soft-spoken, well-groomed gangster ety. The society woman would realize whose only reply is the rat-tat-tat of his that it is rather in spite of her appear- ever ready machine gun. ance than otherwise that the celebrated Taking these examples into considera- Scandinavian actress dominates every tion it is not very hard to understand picture in which she appears. The Ph.D. just why our motion pictures are "lim- would find himself at home after the ited." The public will pa}' to see what it ceaseless pursuit of tlie "will-o-the-wisp" desires, and the producers in view of this of aesthetic pleasure, and with a blessing fact must serve them. That is the reason on his lips for at least every other movie why such puppets parade before us that he flees to. And thrill-seeking nightly—the pseudo-voiced Spaniard, the youths probably for once realize shallow- faced platinum-blonde, the would gun-toting drawling cow-puncher, the wistful in- that cow-punchers and gang- genue and the glorified gangster. sters are not acting at all, but just acting And now the remedy. If we could up a bit.

How to Play Tennis

Jack E. Anderson

Theme 4, Impromptu, Rhetoric I, 1931-32.

T N the spring of each year men begin to cumbrances seems to arouse in all men a * shed their hats, gloves, and overcoats. strong desire to evolve their masculine As the warm atmosphere continues to characteristics: they look for a way to cast a spell about them, they shed their exhibit their athletic abilities. coats, vests, and ties, and go about with Of course, there are games and games their shirtsleeves rolled to their highest. in which you can demonstrate your This sudden relief from such heavy en- strength, poise, agility, and grace, but

— 18- ;

there is one game in which this seems to The first and most important funda- by true to the exclusion of all others; mental in the actual playing of the game at least when you compare the different is to learn how to high- jump the net if games as to the difficulty in learning to you have one. It makes the leg muscles play them. The game is called Tennis. limber as well as being an aid in making To best show how this is true, I shall the game more brief. Next, when your give some general instructions for play- opponent delivers you a ball, try your ing the game. hardest to hit it back towards the direc-

The first equipment you should buy is tion from which it came, before it has a dozen tubes of Unguentine and Hazel bounced five times. You may find it hard,

Cream; this gives considerable relief in a at first, to place the return within the bad case of sunburn. Then you should courts, but a beginner is really not ex- buy the largest size of dark-colored gog- pected to do any better than to keep it gles you can find. This not only makes within the city limits. If you wish to win the surroundings look fascinating, but it the game, all you have to do is to run lends a bit of determination to the coun- and jump about, hit anything within tenance. If you buy a pair of white flan- sight, and indulge in vigorous exercise nels, do not buy the striped ones, be- of any sort until your opponent's col- cause they will look the same as a pair lapse, due to exhaustion. of plain ones when you have fallen down As a bit of specific advice, I might just in them a few times. After that, if you say that you had better not try to play think it necessary, you might buy a cheap tennis until you're sure that you wouldn't tennis racket, a few balls, and possibly like golf much better. a net.

My Favorite Antipathies

Anonymous

Theme 4, Impromptu, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

|\/T Y FAVORITE antipathies cover a truthful about this list, I am forced to ^ ' * fairly wide field, ranging from the include the study of sciences in it. I mild distaste I feel for beets to the in- love flowers ; I think there is nothing tense hatred I experience toward hypo- more noble and inspiring than a century- crites and "red tape." In between these old tree ; I think horses and dogs are as points come spinach, carrots, liver, people fine companions as anyone could want who drive at a snail's pace in the middle but nevertheless I detest botany, biology, of the road, officious people, and those and all the other scientific -ologies. I obnoxious individuals who shove their have known doctors I have both liked way through a crowd, using razor-sharp and admired, but I am unable to regard elbows to assist them. In order to be the science of medicine with anything

19- —;

but repulsion. I know that I should ad- ful hill ; who break into a lovely scene mire and revere the profession of medi- on the stage with some raucous and in- cine, but I simply cannot. appropriate comment: for all people who

I have a special aversion for people spoil lovely things and ruin the master- who mistreat fine things. To my mind pieces of nature and of men, no punish-

itself is for Hell too good people who ment is too great. It seems to me that have no consideration for a high-strung the crowning evil is to destroy lovely thorough-bred horse ; who ruin the things, and that the next, is to create smooth, powerful engine of a fine car by ugly ones. not keeping enough oil and water in it Most of my antipathies seem to be who break the backs and turn down without rhyme or reason, but I have corners of the pages of good books them, and the most I can do is to try or of any kind of books, for that mat- to conceal my aversions, which is a most ter— ; who scratch the glowing surface difficult task. of exquisitely fine wood with rings or However, for every antipathy I have several "likes," so that life coat buttons ; who erect garish sign- boards along a road winding up a beauti- is always more happy than angry.

Mrs. Sparrow

Sally Fulton

Description, Rhetoric II, 1930-31.

|\/IRS. SPARROW was never late. at you, because—poor soul—two teeth •^ ' * Exactly at half past eight she would exactly in front had been lost long creep softly into the house, get out her before.

pail and brush, and begin her scrubbing. When she had finally finished, Mrs. set cal- Mrs. Sparrow's apron always my Sparrow would stand in the kitchen aright. Tuesdays it was of endar On wiping her hands on the corner of her blue and white checks, but it had always apron while I counted out the change. changed to gray and white by Friday. It was then that she would tell me about So quietly did she slip into the house the new baby of her niece, who, by the that often we would stumble over her way, "gives the best marcel waves in in some corner after she had been scour- town." Then she would put on the dark ing the cracks for half an hour. This blue coat and the old black hat and as kindly wash lady with her smooth gray noiselessly as she had come, close the hair was insignificant in size, but her back door behind her. As I watched the diligence could be immediately noticed. She dragged the tattered red pillow tiny bent figure patiently make its way about, firmly planted her knees on the down the icy walk, how frightened I used dent in the middle, and carefully poked to be that the wind would suddenly sweep in every corner. Sometimes, on special by and deposit Mrs. Sparrow on the top occasions, her smile seemed to jump out of the tall pine just down the street!

-20- cA I

Beneath the Seas

Andrew S. Draper

Long narrative, Rhetoric II, 1930-31.

C\^ MY study desk at home there largest schooners on the Lakes, and she ^^ stands an old ship's bell. It is of was heavily loaded. Added to all this, brass, dulled with years of exposure to the tug's boilers were foul, and the little the elements, and no amount of polishing boat was not at the time capable of her can return to it its lost brilliance and normal power. Caught in the storm with luster. Engraved on the side in faint the schooner in tow, the Letv Wallace letters are the words, "S. S. Leiv Wal- would be powerless. But the captain of lace. U. S. Tug. Launched— 1885." the Our Son was insistent upon getting How I came into possession of that bell out of the harbor that evening, lest he is a strange tale which seems discon- be storm-bound the next day. When the nected from the busy world of our signal came to the Lew Wallace, she slip- everyday life. ped her cable and ran down to take the The tug, Lew Wallace, was launched, tow. By this time breaths of cold air as the inscription on the bell indicates, were coming out of the north-west. The in 1885. She was built for use on the black clouds had blotted out the sunset; Great Lakes, and was the last word in the storm was about to strike. The gal- modernity of steam tugs. She was aslant little tug started out, nevertheless, signed to the port of Portage Lake, black smoke pouring out of her funnel Michigan, where she had the job of tow- as fuel was heaped on her roaring fires ing the large lake schooners in and out below. Her safety valve screwed down, of the harbor. She served her purpose she was doing her utmost when the well, and was as much beloved by the storm struck with a sudden, violent blast crews of the visiting lumber schooners as of wind, accompanied by thunder and she was in the port, among the towns- lightning, and blinding sheets of rain. people. The tug's propeller beat the water; her

Late in the afternoon of August 4, hull vibrated, but she slowly lost head- 1893, the Lezu Wallace was lying at way. Suddenl}', out of the night, came anchor near the harbor entrance when a a blinding flash of light and a deafening large, loaded lumber schooner, the Our crash where the tug had been. The Lew

Son, gave the signal for a tow into the Wallace had blown up ; her boilers could

Big Lake, signaling also that it would not stand the strain. The Oxir Son im- be half an hour before she would be mediately let go both anchors. They held, ready. The skipper of the Lew Wallace and she was safe. Meanwhile the Coast was very uneasy and worried about this Guard had put out their boats and were job, and well he might be, for towering searching the dark water for survivors. black clouds were creeping down from Of the seventeen men on the tug, the the north, and the barometer was falling captain, the pilot, and two seamen were fast. The Our Son was one of the picked up alive. The rest were found

-21 — dead the next day. Thirteen men had to go down from our big rowboat in been killed, and the Lew Wallace lay about twelve feet of water. As I rested,

peacefully in thirt3'-five feet of water, a up to my shoulders, in the water, I began total wreck. Her shattered boilers were to have misgivings. The sun felt nice

later raised and placed on the shore, op- and warm ; the water was dark and cold.

posite the spot where the hull la)', with Besides, the wreck was mysterious and a sign attached, reading, "Tug Lew Wal- suggestive of death. What if I were lace. Burned, August 4, 1893. Thirteen the fourteenth to die on the Lew Wal- men killed." lace? I banished such thoughts from Ever since my two friends, Scotty and my mind as Scotty prepared to lift Nick, and I had played on Portage Lake, the helmet over my head. When the hel- we had been acquainted with the story of met was adjusted, and the pump working the Lew Wallace. We knew just where steadily, I let go of the boat. The light the wreck lay, for weren't the biggest of the upper world closed over me ; I black bass in the lake swimming around was in another world, the submarine the old hulk? We had often spent our world. The greenish light grew dimmer time, while fishing there, in imagining as I slow!}' sank to the bottom. All was what was left of the little boat. On clear, silence e.xcept for pff, pff, pff, of the air calm mornings we could just make out coming through the hose, and the bub- the top of the wreck, about twenty or bling from the outlet valve. At first my twenty-five feet below the surface. Last ears ached from the pressure, but I summer I brought a home-made diving remedied that by reaching into the hel- helmet to Portage Lake. It was our met, holding my nose, and blowing. This chance really to see the old wreck, to forced air into my ear passages, equaliz- walk on it, and take things oflf of it. ing the pressure from the outside. Scotty and Nick were a little doubtful The bottom was sandy, with a few as to the success we would have, but water-logged sticks here and there. The they agreed to try it if I did so first, and guide line ran past my feet and out of came up alive. sight down the gentle slope toward the The diving helmet was one I had made wreck. Leaning far forward against the

from a five-gallon oil can. It had three water, I followed it. The slope gradually celluloid windows, a valve in the top, became greater, and the bottom became for the hose, and an outlet valve in one more gravelly. As I walked down and side. It had twenty-seven pounds of lead down, the greenish light deepened and in the top, and two bricks bolted onto the turned to blue. The water grew colder. outside, one in front and one in back. At last I made out, in the dim light, a Altogether the helmet weighed over great black hulk h'ing parti}' on one side,

forty pounds. It was painted green. A in the quiet water. I touched it, it was sixt3'-foot rubber hose and an auto-tire slimy and moss-grown. The side rose pi:mp served for the air supply. above my head to a height of about

As we had not tried the helmet out, twelve feet. I jumped up (it is easy to I decided that I would rather go down jump high in a diving helmet) and close to shore and walk out to the wreck. caught my arm over the top. Below, on We dropped an anchor by the spot, and the inside, was the tangled wreckage of ran the line in to shore, along the bottom, what had once been the cabin and ma- so that I could find my way out. I was chinery. I saw that it would be easier

-22- Mother did it better than Aunt Susan. I guess Grandfather really must have She didn't have a nice lacey handker- gone to Heaven to be with Grandmother, chief hke Mother did, and she was kind like Uncle Jack said, because it's been of messy about it, an^'way. a week now and he hasn't been back. I After while they all got up and went guess he's having a good time though. He out. They carried the box Grandfather told me once that Grandmother was the had been in out and put it in a big truck most wonderful woman he had ever with curtains on it. Everyone went away known and that I looked like her. He but Mrs. Crockett and me. I changed left his watch, 'cause he knew I liked my dress but I didn't feel like playing. to play with it ; so I guess he intends to I just sat on the step and held Muffy. stay quite a while.

Trouble

Madeline Cord

Long narrative. Rhetoric II, 1930-31 iil ACK Marlowe, are you digging in At first his little toy spade just scratched J that flower bed again ? You had bet- the surface of the rich, black soil of ter stop it right away or father will be Daddy's flower bed. Then he dug faster very angry when he comes home and sees and faster. In a little while the hole his flowers all dug up. I never saw such a was really quite wide and deep. youngster in all my life. You are always "Well, I haven't 'scovered any trouble doing something you shouldn't. Mark yet, an' I'm kinda tired," Jack said to my words, young man, you are going to himself rather disgustedly. Then a very find a lot of trouble one of these days strange thing happened. As Jack was digging around as you do," whereupon kneeling down, running his little fingers Mrs. Marlowe went back into the pretty, through the cool, black earth, he leaned little white bungalow with green shutters, too far forward, lost his balance, and fell which was surrounded by a beautiful into the hole. Instead of stopping at the lawn with huge shade trees and flowers bottom of the hole, he seemed to be going of every description. down farther and farther. Would he Now, like most little boys. Jack was never come to the bottom? Down, down, very curious. "Trouble? What does down he went. How long it was before mother mean v^hen she speaks about find- he stopped falling, he never really knew, ing a lot of trouble by digging around? but he was sure it was a very long time.

What is trouble, an}'way? Is it good to Instead of landing with a terrible jolt eat ? Is it something to play with ? Well, and jar, he lit as softly as if he had been

I'll keep on digging, and maybe I can find a feather floating to the ground. Jack out what it is." So Jack kept on digging. lay very still for a few seconds. How

— 27 — !

strange and beautiful everything was extra helping of spinach for lunch and He was sitting on a soft bed of very go to bed an hour early for punishment, thick moss (yes, he knew what moss was if he were extremely naughty. She also for Daddy had told him what it was just told him that she used to have another last week), which looked almost like the little brother who was very mischievous. velvet in his Sunday trousers. All he One day he disappeared and had never could see around him was flowers, grass, since been seen. As they wandered along trees, and moss. "Hm," thought Jack; the little fairy pointed out many of her "these flowers have got Daddy's beat a favorite playgrounds. In one place there mile. I wonder where I am?" was a slide, a teeter-totter, and a swing. "You're in Flowerland, Jack," spoke A little farther on there was a little a soft little voice in his left ear. Jack swimming pool with all kinds of water was startled at the sound of the tiny plajihings in it—a toboggan slide, a voice and turned around to see where it water wheel, a raft, and a tiny rubber came from. There, resting on his left ball. The pool looked very much like shoulder, stood a tiny figure, which, at mother's large roasting pan to Jack. And, first glance, might have been mistaken oh yes, there was even a very tiny mini- for a large blue and black butterfly. ature golf course, too. Everything was,

Maybe it was a butterfly, but it had a of course, built on a very small scale, but small sweet face and little hands and it had to be, for Fairy Darling was such feet, anyway. a tiny being herself. Jack, recovering from his first aston- In spite of Fairy Darling's advice ishment, said, "Why, hello. Who are about trouble, Jack was constantly on you?" the lookout for it as they walked along.

The little figure smiled at him and re- Of course he didn't mention it to his lit- plied, "I'm Fairy Darling. I know who tle friend, and she apparently thought he you are, for I saw you digging in the had forgotten all about it. He looked in flower bed this morning. You are Jack the flowers, as they passed, to see if Marlowe, and you are looking for there was any trouble there. He also trouble. But listen to me, Jack, you had looked behind the trees to see if there better stop looking for trouble and spend was any trouble hiding there. Although the rest of the day in Flowerland. You he became rather discouraged, he kept know anyone can find trouble if he wants his eyes wide open all the time, and noth- to, but not everyone can enjoy Flower- ing escaped his glance. After strolling land. I'll be glad to show you around, around for a considerable length of time, and there really are some very interest- Jack became tired, and sat down to rest ing things to see here." under a large, shady tree, near a bed of Jack eagerly accepted Fairy Darling's beautiful tulips. Fairy Darling said, gracious invitation, and they started out. while he was resting, she would go and As Fairy Darling flew along in front of get something for him to eat and drink, Jack, she told him she had a brother for he was hungry and thirsty, too, now. and sister and that they had some grand She told him to stay right where he was times playing together. Once in a while, and she would be back soon. however, they quarreled, and their Now, ever\-thing would have gone very mother had to settle the argument. Oc- peacefull}', and Jack would have had a casionally, one of them had to eat an very pleasant afternoon in Flowerland

— 28 — if he had only been content to follow the looked him over from the tip of his very directions of Fairy Darling. But, no, pointed slippers, which turned up at the Jack was not that kind of a boy. He was toes, to the top of his sharp little horns. restless, curious, and, sorry as I am to The imp stopped a few steps in front of his say it, selfish. As he sat there under the Jack, his feet apart, and his hands on tree wondering how he happened to come hips, saying, "Ah, ha ! young man, so you to Flowerland and how he was going finally found what you were looking for to get back home, his gaze wandered to —trouble. Now, are you satisfied? You the tulip bed. How unusually pretty the are now in Troubleland." His little pink, speech ended in a sneering laugh. Jack tulips were ! They were all colors— green, purple, yellow, blue, and orange. soon learned that the ugly, little imp was In the middle of the bed an enormous King Trouble. red tulip towered above the others. It Jack began to whimper at these words. was undoubtedly the most gorgeous tulip Then he cried harder and harder until Jack had ever seen. As he sat gazing at his whole body shook with sobs. His it as if he were fascinated, an uncon- crying, however, didn't soften the hearts trollable desire to pluck it and have it for of the little elves a bit. King Trouble his very own seized him. Without re- ordered his fellow imps to seize Jack and membering that he had no right to pick put him in the dungeon. Jack saw it was a flower that didn't belong to him, and useless to resist, for while the little elves forgetting everything but his eagerness were much smaller than Jack, there were to have the tulip, he jumped up quickly, hundreds of them. The imps grabbed rushed toward the tulip bed, waded him and pushed and pulled him to a through the tulips, breaking and stepping large, dark, underground dungeon. They on those in his way, grasped the stem of threw him on the cold, damp ground, the large, red tulip, and pulled. At first and after each one had kicked and the flower did not budge. He pulled pinched him, they went out without a again, this time with all his might. word and closed a heavy door of iron The plant yielded, seeming to come up bars over the entrance. by the roots. Little did Jack know how After the imps had gone out. Jack near at hand his much-sought-for trouble gradually stopped crying, and his eyes was. At exactly the time the plant came became accustomed to the darkness. out of the ground, there was a awful Something ran across his legs. He looked rumbling noise, and Flowerland was down and saw a horrible, little, brown transformed into a land full of terrible lizard run across the ground. As he con-

little imps and elves. All the flowers had tinued to stare, he noticed hundreds of disappeared and thorny weeds stood in similar little lizards. But that wasn't all. their place. Jack became very much There were all kinds of other little frightened, and screamed, "Oh, what creatures—tiny, green snakes, woolly, have I done? Where am I now?" yellow caterpillars, creepy, white mice, At those words, a horrible looking long-legged spiders, and warty looking

little imp stepped forward with a scowl toads. Jack shuddered and grew weak on his ugly face. Jack thought he looked at the sight of them. They all crept up exactly like a picture of a gnome in his as near him as they could. Some of them picture book at home. Jack, shrinking even crawled on him. Then, all of a back with fear as the little imp advanced. sudden they began to talk. They jeered

— 29- at him, and told him what a foolish boy there, but none of them had ever before he had been. He noticed that their voices been kind to the poor crippled toad. Jack sounded like little boys'. Finally, after had broken a magic spell King Trouble much jabbering, he found out that they had thrown over the dungeon by helping had all been little boys once and that the little toad. So, in return for his kind- they had been naughty and found them- ness, the little toad, who was really a selves in Troubleland. They had been fairy, and Jack had been sent back to put in the dungeon, and after a long time Flowerland. Fairy Darling was overjoyed had been turned into little lizards, snakes, at seeing her little brother again. After caterpillars, mice, spiders, and toads. the first excitement was over. Fairy Dar- They told him he would become one of ling said she must do something for Jack. them before long. He began crying when She told him he could have any wish he he thought that he would never see his wanted and it would come true. There mother and father again. Oh, if he ever was one thing Jack wanted more than got back home, which wasn't very likely, anything else—to be back home with mother would never have to scold him Mother and Daddy. No sooner had he any more. He would eat a whole dish made the wish than a beautiful, tall, of spinach for lunch, drink a whole golden ladder appeared in front of him. gallon of milk, and go to bed at seven Fairy Darling and her brother thanked o'clock every night. As he sat thinking, him for the happiness he had brought he noticed one little toad over in the them, and told him to climb the ladder, corner all by himself. He was holding and he would eventuall}' reach home. As one little foot off the ground. Jack went Jack stepped on the first rung of the over, picked him up, and examined the ladder, he thanked Fairy Darling for all leg. Jack thought it must be broken. she had done for him and waved good- Now Jack was very sj'mpathetic, and he b3'e to both of the little fairies. He wanted to help the little toad that was started climbing. Up, up, up he went. crippled. Mother always wrapped a band- After climbing for a few minutes, his age around his finger when it was hurt. feet no longer touched the rungs of the

Ma3'be if he would tie a bandage around ladder. He seemed to be floating in a the little toad's leg, it would get well. He cloud. Suddenly he stopped moving. The took his handkerchief out of his pocket, cloud disappeared, and he found himself tore it into strips, and tied it around the sitting on the ground beside the hole in toad's leg. Just as he finished bandaging Daddy's flower bed. Oh, how thankful the leg, the dungeon became filled with he was to be back home! He would smoke. When the smoke cleared. Jack never again look for trouble. He hurried saw, much to his surprise and joy, that and filled up that awful hole so he would he was back in Flowerland, and Fairy not fall in again. Just as he had put the Darling and another little fairy were last bit of earth back in place, his mother standing on his arm. Fairy Darling told came out on the back porch and called, him that the other little fair)' was the "Jack, oh Jack, where are you?" long-lost little brother who had been "Here I am. Mother; I'm coming," turned into a crippled toad in Flower- Jack answered immediately. land one day when he was looking for "Well, it's about time you got home, trouble. Many little boys had come to young man. Where have you been ? I've Troubleland since her brother had been been calling you for the last half hour.

•30- "Where have I been? Boy, you can't casionally found it in spite of his guess. I've been in Flowerland and excellent behavior. He never dug an- Troubleland all afternoon," and Jack be- other hole in the flower garden, and a gan to relate his afternoon's adventure. more obedient and unselfish boy could "Stop that silly nonsense. Jack, and hardly be found. Although Jack at- hurry and get cleaned up for dinner. tempted many times to tell his mother Daddy will soon be home." Thus Mrs. about the adventures of that memorable Marlowe interrupted what she thought afternoon, it was all in vain—she never was just another of Jack's stories which believed him. She frequently remarked his wild imagination often created. You can be sure that Jack never to her husband that Jack's imagination looked for trouble again, although he oc- "was running away with him."

Intelligence Preferred

Hazel Waxler

Long narrative. Rhetoric II, first semester, 1930-31.

ELOISE looked up from her French for French class and smile at him 'till and across the table at her little my face almost cracks, but he never ." blond room-mate. even . . .

"I just don't know what is the matter, Here the tears came spilling over. Bess Bess." was by Eloise's side and had her arm She was close to tears. Now what around her in a moment. could make a pretty girl with black, curly "Aw, Eloise don't 3'ou cry about him. hair tearful? He's not worth it."

"Why, honey, what do you mean? "Bu-but I like him and anjnvay, it's

Matter with what? Come on and tell not only him, it's all the fellows. They Bess." all treat me like poison. Why? I have "Oh, well, you know. Bob just can't cute clothes 'n everything, and if I do see me. I always doll up my prettiest say it myself I'm not ugly, am I Bess?"

-31- "Ugly!" indignantly. "Why, I should sidering that Eloise had spoken French

say not. You're the prettiest girl in the for three years you can see that it was house, Eloise." no easy thing to appear so stupid. She "Oh, no. I didn't mean that! But, I looked appealingly at the boys in the

mean, it isn't just my looks that's the class every time she made a mistake and ." trouble. I can't imagine . . . they all wanted to rise up and defend

"Wait a minute," said Bess, "I have this poor, little thing who was darned an idea. What do you make in French?" good-looking, if she didn't know French. "Make?" Eloise looked bewildered. In fact, they all thought she needed some "You mean what grade do I make? one to take care of her, help her with Why, A of course. But what's that French and with her life problems. " got After class Eloise went up to the "Ah-ha, my pretty, I think I begin to teacher and waited until all the boys had see light. What does Bob make?" gone. A few stood around in hopes that "Bob? Oh, I think he gets about a C. she would walk with them, but finally ." He's not so smart, you know, but . . . turned reluctantly away as she stayed. "Yes, I know. Now listen I think I've As soon as they were all gone Eloise

solved the mystery ! Who makes an A rushed out of the room and ran after besides you?" the retreating Bob Stuart. She caught "Why, I don't know. Let's see. Ralph up with him out on the walk.

Crosby, I guess, and .... well, I guess "Oh, Bob." he's about the only other one. I don't "What?" like him very well. He always makes "Do you think you could help me with me feel so —oh, well, so ignorant or this French some night? I can't seem to

something." get it at all." "Eloise! Don't you see! That's just "Wh}'—let's see." He thought a mo- the trouble with you. The poor boys get ment. "Are you going to be at home inferiority complexes every time they to-night?"

look at 3'ou. You're too brilliant!" "Yes ! Oh, it would be too wonderful "Oh, no," said Eloise. She was laugh- of you to help me." ing now, and one saw that the eyes were "Well, I might come over for awhile. blue. It's not so bad." (He meant the French.) "O, yes !" said Bess. "You just act He was confident, sure of himself dumb and see how they fall. It won't beside this poor, helpless little woman.

hurt anything to try it anyway, except Bob al\va3'S thought of his girls as "little your grade in French and who cares women." He looked handsome, with his about that?" wavy brown hair, beside the small Eloise. "I don't!" said Eloise. Eloise purposely looked as helpless as Next day Eloise was surprisingly lack- she could. ing in knowledge of French. Her pro- That evening four fellows called her nunciation was a thing to make a loyal up, and Bob came over at 7:30. He and

Frenchman weep and it kept her in- Eloise studied French and each other structor in a constant state of astonished until ten o'clock. Whenever Bob would horror. She knew not the meanings of mispronounce something atrociously the words. She seemed to have lost all Eloise couldn't grin. She had to look at acquaintance with the language, and con- him with an "oh, you great, big, wonder-

— 32 — ful man" expression and try to imitate much. She hated him. She hated men. him. However, Bob didn't suspect. By She hated everything. She even hated ten o'clock he was convinced that Eloise the weather. It was gloomy out, she

was hopelessly dumb in French and iioticed. It looked as if it were going to Eloise was convinced of the same thing rain. Eloise wondered if the sky was

about Bob, though it was far from her crying when it rained. She wouldn't

intention to say so. However, Bob blame it if it did. She wanted to cry thought that Eloise had a sufficient herself. amount of intelligence, for she obviously After class Bob came up, smiling. appreciated him, and, as it is a well- "Going my way?" he asked. known fact that nothing so arouses that "Sorry, Bob. I just don't feel like feeling known as love in a young man talking to you to-day," she said coolly. as the belief that he is himself adored. " "But, Eloise Bob was fast becoming infatuated with Eloise had left him. She scurried off Eloise. When he left he asked her for to the rest room and waited until she a date for the following Friday night. saw that he had left the building, then Of course, Eloise accepted. It was the she poked slowly toward the door. She only 1;hing she could do after he had heard footsteps behind her, and, turning, helped her, but already she was becoming saw Ralph. To her surprise, she felt a doubtful of her bargain. little embarrassed. That week-end she went out every "Going my way?" he smiled. For the afternoon and night with the fellows she first time Eloise noticed how nice his had liked best, but somehow, Eloise smile was. found, the anticipation of being with "Why yes," said Eloise, and blushed those boys was much more enjoyable — slightly, which made her prettier than than the fulfillment. They talked, of usual. course, or rather they rattled. They "You seemed to be better in French made love to her in such a patented, to-day, more like your old self." matter-of-fact way that Eloise knew they He looked at her keenly, understandingly, had said it all before, many, many times. Eloise thought guiltily. By Sunday she was so disgusted that she started studying French again. Mon- "Yes," said Eloise. day she made her old A recitation. She "Uh—by the way, what are you doing decided that she was through with men. Friday evening? May I come over?" Tuesday, Ralph grinned at her as though "Why—yes," said Eloise, and sudden- he knew what she had been up to. She ly the sun seemed to be shining, and she turned away from him, embarrassed. noticed that the day was quite beautiful Ralph, the egotist, thought he was so after all.

— 33 —

T-HECKEEN CALDKON

VOLUME 1 January, 1932 NUMBER 2

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THE GREEN CALDRON

January 1932

CONTENTS

Foreword 3 Is This Adventure?—Charles Reeves 5 Discourse on a Personal Matter—George Pratt 6 We Diverse Humans—Alma McLaughlin 7 A Financial Diary—H. C. Blankmeyer 8 How TO Become a Successful Hitch-Hiker in Your Spare Time—Bob Garrard 9

A Mid-Western Country Town—Florence I. Adams .... 13 The Occident or the Orient ?—Fred Stanton 14 The Fallibiuty of Conscience—James L. Rainey 16 On Studying—H. A. Johnston 16 The Fascination of Machinery—James C. Toiirek .... 18 The Language of Bees—Marvin Carmack 19 Dreams Are My Adventure—Arnold Greenbaum 20 — Writing as a Safety-valve for Emotion Myron D. Green. . 21 Sancho Panz.\—Ernesto del Risco 22 "Soup, Beautiful Soup!"— Yanita Grossman 23 A Dissertation on Cheese—Nathan Levin 24 Cod-Liver Oil—Mildred Henriot 26 A Perfect Job—R. Webber 26 Between Halves—Helen Russell 27 A Character Sketch—Nettie Fine 28 The Passing in the Night—James Phelan 30

VOLUME I NUMBER 2

^ 7

FOREWORD

The Green Caldron was established by the EngHsh Department of the University of lUinois to serve as a means of bringing to the attention of freshman students freshman writings of merit. The papers pubHshed are for the most part chosen from the themes submitted by students in Rhetoric I-II. They are printed as they appear after the regular process of revision by those who wrote them. They are not presented as perfect themes. They in no fashion represent the opinions of the Committee on the Green Caldron. They are printed for what they are, the opinions of freshmen on the world as they find it, pictures of that world as it is re-created by the freshman imagination, the happy result of the cacoethes scribendi, or of the assignment for a particular day. Nevertheless each paper chosen has seemed to the Committee to illustrate at least one virtue in freshman work.

The title selected for this magazine was submitted by Mr. Earl Swartzlander, of the class of 1934, during his freshman year. When the first issue of the Green Caldron went to press, the Com- mittee did not suspect that it included matter, very slightly changed, which had already appeared in published form. "The Guest Towel" was taken from Mr. Stanley M. Moffat's article in "The Lion's Mouth," in Harper's Magazine, September, 1927. "On Trees" was almost a reproduction of an essay in "The Driftway," in The Nation. "Veteris Vestigia Flammae" came from the Chicago Tribune. The seriousness of the ofifence of the plagiarists may be judged from a letter which we received from The Nation: "We have your letter telling us of the plagiarism from the Drift- way in your English Department magazine. We, ourselves, have been in the position of the editor of your paper when we were obliged to return sonnets of Shakespeare and Wordsworth, submitted as original poems by enterprising contributors. Since your Disciplinary Commit- tee has already taken up the matter, I think we may leave the punishment of the offender in your hands, although it would be helpful if, in your next issue, you could carry a brief statement that the article was taken in substance from The Nation.

Sincerely yours, Dorothy Van Doren, Associate Editor."

— 3-

Is This Adventure?

Charles Reeves

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

Y\0 you ever feel that life is all too She draws closer with gradually increas- *-^methodical with its restrictions and its ing cadence. Her engine passes, panting formulated exactitude? Are there times heavily.

v^fhen you long to leave it all behind for There ! don't you see it ? There's an a while and lose yourself mentally and empty box car. Climb in quickly now, bodily in another world, the world of for you must not be seen. Crouch back adventure? You have perhaps wished into the darkness of the car while you go that you might, and then stifled your de- faster and faster until the lights of the sire unattainable, that as not knowing city are left behind. Sit in the doorway adventure is just around the corner, and watch fields, farms, villages, and waiting to receive those who are sym- woods as they dart by, clothed in a pathetic and have eyes to see. You must strange mantle which only the night can not expect something for nothing. There bring. The red flame of the firebox, re- are hardships and discomforts to enjoy; flected in clouds of smoke rushing from there is glamor and there is dirt. the engine's stack, gives the atmosphere It is approaching midnight. Over in an indescribably strange touch. the railroad yard the switch engines are There is rhythm, there is romance, in making up a train, their headlights flash- the click of the rails. There is beauty ing back and forth as they clash and all around you. You can see it, you can clang from car to car .... Now she is feel it. in your face assembled, an unbelievably long line of The wind blows cars and an engine, long, low, and beau- with the smell of the woods, the fields, tiful, her every line radiating power. and smoke. With a jerking, weaving She blows a short blast of her whistle motion you go on and on. There is and starts slowly down the rails, her rhythm, there is romance, in the click of • headlight piercing the blackness ahead. the rails. — 76/

Discourse on a Personal Matter

George Pratt

Descriptive Theme, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

T looked into the mirror this morning pearance on the whole would be pass-

•*• with razor held grimly over my lather- able, I suppose. You're almost six feet,

covered jaw. Shaving is a painful aren't you?" process. The image nodded. "Good morning!" smiled my reflection. "I should say you had rather a good "Did you sleep well last night?" build. — Nothing extraordinary," I "No!" I lowered the razor grouchily. hastily amended. "In the first place, I was worrying over "May I," said my mirrored self coldly, writing a theme about you." "offer a few suggestions? Allow me to "About me?" The image was mildly call to your attention your many and surprised. "That's queer. It's really the varied eccentricities. First and foremost first time, isn't it? I mean that you've is your violent abuse of me. Do you had me for a subject." Then after an realize that in the last couple of days, amiable pause, "What are you going to I have been in rapid succession Lionel say?" Barrymore, George Arliss, and Frederic "Well," I replied, "I believe I shall March? A short time ago I was Greta begin by deploring the fact that your Garbo, and for a fortnight after you

mouth is too large, your nose is too big, saw Susan Lenox, everytime I opened and your features are too coarse." my mouth, I had a Swedish accent. If

The reflection sulked. it would not inconvenience you too much, "Overlooking the fallacy of your state- would you mind telling me who I am

ment," it objected, "I think it is al- today? One likes to know, of course." together too vague. Why don't you say "Don't be absurd," I objected, irritat- out and out that I have brown hair and edly tilting my chin and beginning to

brown eyes and a complexion that is shear off the lather beneath it. "This is

oh, oddly ruddy on the lower sides of to be a serious theme and I want none my face near the jawbone? That's a dis- of your nonsense."

tinctive point, by the way," it informed All the same, I could not help feeling

me proudly. The next moment, it was a little fatuous and uneasy. querying agitatedly, "Aren'.t you going to "I know," nodded the offender, sooth- say anything about my hair? Or my ing me with elaborate concern," but you eyes?" can't be one-sided about an affair like "Hair? Really, that's out, you know. this. You must confess your weaknesses ." Perhaps if you'd wash it oftener . . . as well as your virtues. Perhaps your I dipped the razor into the basin and actions have been excusable because you watched a creamy isle of lather sail away intend to be an actor, but you are carry-

on the water. "But," I resumed, studying the theatre too much into everyday ing the creature thoughtfully, "your ap- life. You are letting a strong dramatic

— 6 — ! 7/

sense get the best of you. This dramatic almost obliterated your own personality sense makes you emotional, tempera- What there is of you is merely a mass of mental, and as a result, you are constant- reflected moods and actions zvhich belong be. ly overacting, wherever you may to other people!" Your gestures are eloquent, your pos- With submissive meekness, I packed tures are studied, your very traits are the razor in its case. "You will see on copied. The actor, they tell me, must the morrow, sir, a great improvement," hold the mirror up to nature. But that I responded eloquently. does not mean he should be absorbed in doing that at all times. You have taken "Is that you, or someone else?" re- the advice so seriously that you have minded the image.

We Diverse Humans

Alma McLaughlin

Expository Theme, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

JUST recently, in the course of a really fascinating to question people who friendly conversation, I asked a girl if do not read for pleasure and to watch she had read Ferdynand Goetel's From the inevitable interest in science or math- Day to Day. She told me that she had ematics manifest itself. You ask, "What not read a single book in three years that do you want to do when you graduate? was not required of her at school. What are you interested in?" Watch Her answer worried me. I became so their faces light up with eager— interest interested in the question of whether she as the replies come to you "I want to was unique in her attitude or was just be a botanist !" "I'm majoring in Math." one of a group, that I appointed myself "Some day I'm going to teach Chem- a sort of inquiring reporter, and went istry." Oh, it works—and it works both around asking questions of my friends ways, too. Ask these same people about and acquaintances in an endeavor to as- reading. Their faces have a dull, bored certain how many of them never in- look as they reply: "Oh, I never read, dulged in purely leisure reading. except for book reports. I don't get any The resulting number was truly amaz- pleasure from reading." ing. By this time I was imbued with a I am like a bewildered child before desire for more statistics. In the course them. I want to take each of them by of my investigations, I uncovered the the hand and introduce him to my very peculiar fact that nearly all the non- good friends—d'Artagnan and Trilby readers were mathematics or science and Becky Sharp—and all the others majors, which led to another interesting who have delighted me for a long while, question: Does an absorbing interest in and whose friendship never palls nor science or mathematics automatically fails. I want to show them the worldly- preclude an interest in literature? I have wise and humorous satire in Vanity Fair. become convinced that it does. It is I want them to smile with Lewis Carroll

— 7- —

and me at the subtleties in Alice in as they feel about literature—apathetic, Wonderland (which, by the way, is uninterested, bored—so I feel about all much more than a child's book, and mathematics and most sciences. So who needs to be read three or four times to am I to judge them? We just fail to see be appreciated). I want these people to each other's points of view.

feel the living, pulsing music that is Poe, After all, there are a great many people and to feel the stark, despairing tragedy who comfortably travel the middle road that permeates his poetry. I feel sorry —who read a little, and feel no active for them because they are missing so repugnance to sciences and higher math- much that makes my life a joy to me. ematics—and these make up the bulk of However, I really do understand these humanit}^ perhaps fortunately for the persons in a way, because of this: just stabilitv of the world.

A Financial Diary

H. C. Blankmeyer

Theme 5, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

/^NE of the most engrossing after- every moment of my existence from

^^ noons I have ever enjoyed was spent January twenty-first until the present in preparing an itemized e.xpense account date was paraded before me to enjoy or

in an attempt to explain a low bank bal- regret, approve or censure. I saw the ance to my parents. As I considered time when I first took up metal-work each item in my expense book, I exper- bought my tools, and spent an engaging ienced such a variety of emotions and so afternoon at the home of Mr. Snaith, a many past events came crowding before nationally famous amateur craftsman. I me that I became entranced with my was reminded of the evening I started reflections, and hours passed before I German at a local ecclesiastical college, realized that my report was not yet well and muttered "ah, bay, tsay" all the way started. home, much to the amusement of

Time and again I have re-read diaries, passers-by; of the day I secretly bought both my own and those of others, but a target revolver, and spent considerable until I compared them with this simple time and about one hundred and fifty little book, containing only items, per cent of my allowance on ammuni-

charges, and dates, I did not appreciate tion ; of the time I rashly attacked my how clearly the events returned to me, bank account for a vacation in Minnesota untrammeled as they were by the con- (and, oh, the hours that slipped away as temporary observations, so profuse in I mused on the placidity of the northern most diaries. lakes, and the hilarity of my vacation's And so as I sat there, tilted back in termination in Chicago!); of a sudden my chair, oblivious of the gleaming death in the family, and its incumbent stationery with its accusing blankness. duties and worry. Then came the first ; "/}

day in college, characterized by what be more than a mere record of assets seemed extravagant expenditures ; the and disbursements, more than a diary evening my roommate and I saw the with evasive explanations and false bottoms of two jugs of cider (and how observations ; it is in every sense a chron- we did repent at leisure!) ; and, finally, icle of each day I have lived ; and, most the evening my brother came through interesting of all to me, it shows the Urbana, when we had a glorious reunion, transition from home to college life, the reminisced and prophesied, until the night had quite worn away and sleep pleasures I now enjoy, and the manner nearly overtook us in our chairs. in which my time is spent, with not too Yes, this expense account proved to many items, I hope, in the red.

How to Become a Successful Hitch-Hiker in Your Spare Time

Bob Garrard

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1930-31

A hitch-hiker, according to the popular Canada. Throughout all of my travels

^*- conception, is a human parasite that I constantly endeavored to develop my infests our highways, using his thumb observational powers to that high degree instead of his feet for progression. There of efficiency attained by that great is also a current belief which places traveler, Mr. Pickwick, in order that I hitch-hikers in the same category with should be able to diffuse and make pre- the most hardened and desperate crimin- vail the fruit of my travels. But I was als. But do not let public opinion deter not content merely to observe and record you from your worthy ambition to facts ; my ambition soared higher. I become one of us. The public is always wanted to put method in hitch-hiking

wrong anyway. The hitch-hiker is an I wanted to formulate fundamental artist—every inch an artist, especially tenets for the guidance of my future the inches that go to make up his thumb. comrades in order that the world might He has the most expressive thumb in the say of me: "Methinks there's method in

world; it casts a mystic spell over the his madness," and I have succeeded, and unwar}' motorist, causing him to slam on now you can learn in an armchair for a

the brakes in response to its pleading. trifling cost what I learned by hard and

Before proceeding any further it bitter experience. would be best for me to justify my claim The novice must first learn how to

as an authority. It is based entirely upon stop a car. Your stoppage ability will personal experiences as a hitch-hiker depend upon where you station yourself, who has exercised his art in the North, your appearance, and attitude. When East, and South of this country, and in choosing your take-off spot, keep in mind

— 9 — —;;

the fact that fast-moving cars seldom Finally my friend, driven to desperation stop; it is therefore necessary to pick a by our hungry hosts, sprawled out in the location where cars are apt to be moving middle of the road, resolved to stop a slowly, such as at the edge of towns and car at any cost. He had just resumed on curves. It is even better to post your- his frenzied defense against his torment- self by traffic lights and stop streets ors when the headlights of an oncoming there you have an opportunity to es- car topped the crest of a nearby hill. The tablish direct contact with the car oc- occupants, a young couple who were cupants. Always select a site from which attending to some unfinished business, you will be conspicuous to the oncoming failed to see the lifeless form in their cars, for as I mentioned earlier, the way—a lifeless form which suddenly public are inclined to be antagonistic became animated when it realized the towards our sect and frankly suspicious driver exhibited no signs of showing it of our intentions, but they are also an the consideration due to lifeless forms egotistical lot in that they believe they lying in the middle of a road. After the can make an accurate estimate of the car passed, my friend vehemently ex- hitch-hiker's character as they approach pressed his opinions, but again lay down him. It is quite immaterial whether in the road. The next car stopped, but average Americans have this ability or when the obstruction calmly got up and not—the point is they think they have, so asked the annoyed motorist for a ride, give them an opportunity to form their he was so mad at being duped that he opinions as they approach. Gas stations promptly drove off, leaving us watching are the ideal take-off points at night his fading tail light through a swirl of your chances of being picked up on the sand. open road are very slim. In regard to Your appearance and attitude are the hailing rides at night there is one very chief factors considered by motorists important rule: Don't lie dozi'ii in the when their foot is wavering between the road to stop a car. A friend of mine accelerator and the brake. Clothes pro- painfully discovered the inadvisability of duce a definite reaction, (consciously or this technique. Last summer we experi- unconsciously) upon your prospect. A enced the misfortune of being stranded dirty, slovenly, poorly-dressed person late at night in the midst of a New will be passed up by the majority of the Jersey scrub \nne district. The darkness traveling public, and, strange to say, so was so black that it was actually visible will the too well-dressed person. Sunday- near about us we could distinguish the go-to-meeting clothes are not in keeping grotesque, misshapen blotches of the with hitch-hiking; the motorist senses gnarled and scrawny pines, the black something out of place and becomes sus- sheep of the pine tree family, protruding picious, and suspicion means no ride. It through the wall of darkness. It was an is equally true that most people will pick utterly desolate place, but we were not up a school boy ; therefore try to create alone, for hordes of mosquitoes greedily an atmosphere by your clothes. Be neat, charged upon us, keeping us in constant, but not foppishly dressed; a sweater futile activity. The drivers of the inter- with a school letter is a veritable lode- mittent cars seemed to be seized with an stone. The way in which you hail a car inane desire to test the pick-up ability may mean the difference between a ride of their automobiles when they saw us. and exhaust fumes tickling your nose.

10- ; v^

Your attitude should be controlled by those through which you have passed will the type of person you conceive your prove valuable. prospect to be. For travelling salesmen, So far I have been concerned with the

polite but not violent gesticulations will transportation problem, but there is

produce the best results ; for elderly another phase of hitch-hiking, an under- couples and women assume a woe- standing of which must be acquired

begone and despondent aspect ; but, if through experience. It is a matter of you decide the driver of an oncoming knowing your way about, and of learning car is a farmer, violent gesticulations the tricks of the trade. It is too broad and

are recommended ; they arouse his detailed a subject to be exhausted here, curiosity. but I have selected a few salient facts,

The successful hitch-hiker is not mainly for the purpose of giving you an satisfied with merely getting a ride ; he idea of the sort of information that will

is conscientious and endeavors to prove prove of value. There are quite a few an interesting companion to his bene- laws which are inconvenient barriers to factor. An initial complimentary remark hitch-hiking, and a knowledge of these about your patron's car should become laws will aid you in avoiding trouble. a matter of habit when you are picked In New York, Pennsylvania, New

up, except when the car is in such a Jersey, and all of New England, it is condition that a compliment would too against the law to hitch-hike, but this is plainly suggest irony. In that case the no serious obstacle, providing you are weather will prove a more diplomatic careful where you hail cars and watch subject. If your host is not a taciturn out for state police. In traveling through chap (few of them are) he will assume all of these states I was never interfered the conversational responsibility and with except in one instance when I un- soon direct it towards those subjects in fortunately hailed two New Jersey high- which he is interested. I have found that way inspectors. They stopped all right, the various types of people, as groups, but not to play the good Samaritan display extraordinarily parallel interests. instead they made me start walking and Politics and crime are the universal followed me in their car for about three favorites of traveling salesmen, a group miles. However, I think they sufifered which will furnish a large portion of more than I did, for I strolled along at your rides. If you will expend a few a nice slow pace, and it's awfully mo- cents daily for a Hearst newspaper, or notonous riding in a car going two miles retrieve one from an ashcan, and read all an hour. Many Eastern towns exhibit the articles announced by scare head- a fondness for their vagrancy laws, and lines, you will be able to cope with the unless you desire to give some local conversational gymnastics of most travel- magistrate the immense satisfaction of ing men. It is a universally accepted sentencing a Westerner, you had better fact that women are curious, so be pre- keep ten dollars on hand, as the posses- pared to rattle oflf your life history when sion of ten dollars is understood to picked up by one. When you are riding exclude one from the hobo ranks. When with a farmer, it will be necessary to entering Canada, give the custom of- exhibit a sympathetic appreciation of the ficials a definite destination, because, they farmer's mistreatment. A knowledge of do not appreciate footloose American rural conditions in your own state and youths roaming over their highways.

— 11- Realizing that many of your activities uninterested in your plight, except in will be controlled by your financial Atlantic City. The Boardwalk of status, and assuming it is usually rather Atlantic City is the best hunting ground rocky, as mine was, I offer a few sug- in America, as my friend and I found gestions which should prove of value to out last summer. We had a room about one who is not well supplied with money. a half mile from the Steel Pier, and at Eating and sleeping are the greatest night as we walked along the Boardwalk expenses of hitch-hiking. I have never towards the main district we always been able to decrease the amount of managed to borrow enough money for money spent for food without experienc- our evening's entertainment. Small ing a decided gnawing feeling midships, towns are all right, but be careful to and so I close the subject at the begin- avoid the embarrassing position which ning by suggesting a large budget for my indiscretion thrust me into in Red food. Sleeping, however, is a different House, West Virginia. Red House is a matter, as the amount of money spent village nestling in between two peaks of for sleeping quarters may be cut in half the Blue Ridge; it is quite small, one by a simple system that I have always street being sufficient to accommodate used. When traveling I made it a prac- both the business and residential districts. tice to sleep out one night and go to a I had just eaten dinner in the only cafe hotel the next night. It is not always and was standing out in front when necessary to sleep out, for some towns a benevolent-looking man approached, have ver}^ comfortable jails— for ex- whom I asked, for no reason at all, for ample, Niagara and Albany, New York, some money to get something to eat Clarksburg, West Virginia, and Dayton, with. He was a magnanimous soul and Ohio. The jail at Niagara is strongly suggested that he buy my dinner in the recommended because the hotel prices cafe. I remonstrated, but he was bent there are scandalous, and it is impossible on doing his good turn a day, and to sleep out in the park on account of dragged me into the cafe where he ex- the perpetual mist rising from the Falls. plained to the waiter my pressing need

The jail is centrally located, the cells of nourishment. The waiter, a sour fel- have swinging doors (wonderful things low, looked at me and asked, "What was to play on), and the breakfasts are very the matter with the meal you just decent. finished?" My benefactor and the waiter If you intend to enlarge your fixed turned accusing eyes upon me, and I, capital by the abominable practice of well, I frantically fumbled in my pocket bumming money, do not try it in large for a crumpled pack of Murads reserved cities, for the citizens are calloused and for such situations.

— 12 — ;

A Mid-Western Country Town

Florence I. Adams

Expository Theme, Rhetoric I, 1931-32 pNTERPRISE must seem the most to the Book-of-the-Month-Club, and •'— ' uninteresting town in the United subscribe to Harpers and the National States to any tourist or chance visitor Geographic. Mrs. Jonab Dobbins and who might happen through there. But her daughter, Clarabelle, once went to to me it is the "old home town" and, Boston for a two weeks' visit with rela- more important, it is where my parents tives. Many of the people take motor grew up, and where my grandparents trips to Turkey Run and Starved Rock struggled with dangers and hardships, Park, and even to Denver and Washing- and hoped and dreamed for the future. ton, D. C. Some of the old Puritanical It is the little town that sprang up in the horror of dancing and card playing has wild prairie of central Michiana when been overcome. A Bridge Club has the first railroad came through and there recently been organized among the more were enough settlers within a radius of daring and modern in society. But Mrs. thirty miles to establish a post office. Prissard recently asked me in a half- It now has one thousand and three whisper if I knew girls who really did inhabitants—a typical Mid-Western smoke. country town—smug, narrow-minded, There is one business street—only one and ignorant of the world. The citizens side of the street— facing a neat boule- are prosperous, retired farmers, and all vard park. There are no chain stores they desire of their town is that it be a everyone believes in supporting the comfortable place to live in, with the native business men. There are a bank, post office and station to loaf in, and as two grocery stores, one butcher, one few taxes as possible to pay. It is not baker, one drugstore, two confection- progressive ; all the ambitious young aries, a pool room (the "den of vice"), people leave as soon as they are grad- one Ford dealer, one Chevrolet dealer, uated from high school. two garages, and four filling stations.

The citizens are content in their small There is one motion picture theatre world; gossip, church, crops, and house- which specializes in "Westerns" and keeping are as wide a sphere to them as shows the big pictures two years late. the whole world is to the cosmopolite. In the summertime there is a band con- They are not at all aware that they know cert in the city park every Wednesday nothing about the world. There is a evening. There is a weekly newspaper, Woman's Club, a Parent-Teachers As- the Enterprise Globe, consisting of two sociation, and a Mother's Club (purely pages of "Locals" and syndicated short social). Many of the citizens have been stories. to Chicago and to the World's Fair. Each of the four churches has barely Miss Charity Fareweather, the music sufficient membership to struggle along. teacher, and one or two others belong The church music of the largest, the

13 — Methodist, is supplied by a quartet of borliness and charity ease the way for aged church members, who do not know man}- an unfortunate soul. There are the first thing about carrying a tune and few scandals, and few accidents—the hold a hymnal as they would an almanac. surface is seldom rippled—but when it The congregation of this one foremost is, the incident is a lifetime subject for church is always divided in heated con- conversation.

troversy over the minister ; when Con- After graduation from high school, ference time is comes, the agitation at most of the young people go to Millville a fever pitch, the preacher is and poor University or the University of Mich- at the mercy of his malicious Christian iana for a year or two and then come flock. home to marry and settle down in the The homes are substantial frame family business, or on the farm, while houses with wide hospitable porches, and the old folks move into town to enjoy attractive big lawns. There is always a the fruits of their labor. The more vegetable garden in the back, for garden- ambitious start out for bigger things, by ing is one of the main summer interests. teaching school or selling vacuum clean- It all speaks eloquently of moderate ers, and mam' of them achieve success. prosperity, orderliness, and complacency. Enterprize of citizens, There are no rich people and no paupers. boasts no famous The only distinctions of class are but her sons and daughters are to be honesty and a good family name. The found all over the world in various oc- hired help and the family eat at the same cupations, and no one can say that the table and their children grow up to- influence of this little town is not felt gether. In sickness or in trouble neigh- in the world.

The Occident or the Orient?

Fred Stanton

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

T ET me take 3'ou to Syria, that land adopted some of the conventions of the •*-^of j-esterday and today, of strange contemporary ages. Although transpor- people and yet stranger customs. Here tation there has witnessed the supremacy may be found the modern and the of mechanical conveyances over animals, ancient, the cosmopolitan and the pro- agriculture is still conducted in what we vincial. It is a land of dreamy romance would call a primitive manner. A man mingled with ytvy active industrialism, may employ trucks to transport his prod- a land of great beauty yet possessing ucts to a market and at the same time sordidness. cultivate those products by the slowest For centuries the people have retained and most laborious processes. There may certain practices inherited from their be, in a city, many of the innovations forebears. However, they have also for managing all traffic problems; yet in

14- —

the fields around the town farmers are may we offer for the problem of unfaith-

still plowing the soil with wooden imple- ful husbands or wives which is compar- ments or reaping the harvest with a able to the one in effect in certain parts sickle wielded by hand. Such simplicity of their country today? This solution of we cannot understand because we are which I speak is practiced by the Druse modern in both our production and con- tribe of northern Syria. The people sumption, while they are up to date in claim the inheritance of the purest blood their consumption only. in the world. They accept no converts While it is true that the country has into the tribe nor do the}^ allow any of adopted many of our methods, Western their number to marry outside their it may also be said that the people are faith. Intermarriage, although contrary loath to relinquish just as many of their to the beliefs of biologists and physiolo- customary methods. A short time ago I gists, is accepted and practiced. Their was walking along State Street, in Chi- bodies are free of the social diseases cago, with a young man who had but common to the European countries. At recently returned from Beyrut, the the time a marriage ceremony is per- nation's capitol. As we were jostled formed the girl gives as part of her about in the crowd at one of the street dowry a jewel-studded dagger with intersections, he remarked with notice- which her husband ends her life should able regret, "So I left that life over there she prove unfaithful. Infidelity by the to come back to this ! This maelstrom man is punished by the father or broth- this surging, crushing tide of humanity, ers of the wife, and since divorces are bound they know not whither, but not recognized, death at their hands es- trampling one another in the mad tablishes justice. Because they have sucli attempt to get there." It is true. We an effective weapon for combating di- Americans and most Europeans may vorces, they have no Reno nor Paris, no hold the enviable positions in commerce scandals nor alimony payments. and politics, but to the Orientals we There are many such drastic measures must turn to learn how to live. While taken to prevent lawlessness. In Syria, we may be existing, they are really liv- where one may expect to find a little bit ing. It is small wonder, then, that they of everything, is hesitate to accept very many of our there an apparent con- ideas. formity to God-given laws. This country is part of the Land, After all, what have we to give them Holy and the people which is so much better than what they still conduct themselves in the manner already possess? The sages who long their forefathers did in the days before ago planned the various rules for con- Christ. Perhaps this accounts, in a meas- duct were surely wise to have instituted ure, for their backwardness. More likely, so many laws which are still applicable. however, to be the cause of their stead- Their heirs, in many cases, can handle fast continuance in the ancient custom a situation much more expediently with are the words of one of their prophets, time-worn traditions than could we with "A house kept in order means a house our Western culture. What solution that endures."

IS- The Fallibility of Conscience

James L. Rainey

Expository Theme, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

/CONSCIENCE, usually defined as the tion or sterilization of idiots. Was the ^^-^ "moral sense within a person that Spartan right, or are we right ? Certainly enables him to choose between right and conscience cannot decide. wrong," is often thought of as a heaven- Huckleberry Finn went against the sent power, which gives people an un- dictates of his conscience when he as- erring solution for their problems. Cer- sisted the runaway negro, Jim, in an tain discrepancies in this theory make it attempt to gain freedom. In all Huck's plain that conscience is but another previous life it had been dinned into his strand in the vast net of tradition, ears that slavery was a fundamental, custom, and taboo that regulates our lives indispensable institution, and that a with astonishing thoroughness. helper of runaway slaves was second

Conscience is not unerring. Ideas of only in contemptibleness to a horse thief. what is right and what is wrong change The situation was quite different in the greatly over periods of time or in differ- Northern States. There, the call of -con- ent sections of the world. For instance, science played no small part in getting in ancient Sparta infanticide was con- tired farmers out of warm beds for the sidered to be necessary for the preser- purpose of conveying a runaway slave vation of the state. Sickly children were ten miles more along the underground weeded out, and the hardiness of the railroad. race suffered no set-backs. In the mind It seems that circumstances alter cases of the Spartan, therefore, infanticide in the matter of conscience. Right to was all right. His conscience refused to one person may be wrong to another. get excited over the matter at all. Now, Conscience thus is shown to be our per- however, our consciences rebel against sonal opinion of right and wrong, based infanticide quite as much as they do on our education, personal experiences, against any other form of murder. We and prejudices. Conscience is a valuable even go so far as to balk at the segrega- but not an infallible guide.

On Studying

H. A. Johnston

Rhetoric II, 1931-32

OTUDYING is the favorite pastime of favorable and unfavorable conditions. A ^a student at the University of Illinois. student here is not so plagued by the It is pursued at all times and under both necessity of studying as are the students

— 16 — ; 57

in French and German universities. In plicable in this case: "The more you foreign universities one finds no extra- study the more you know ; the more you curricular activities corresponding to our know the more you forget. The more work on the Illio and Daily Illini and our you forget the less you know, so why organized sports ; therefore, since he has study?" Why, indeed, should one study no excuse for not studying and prepar- if he is going to forget all that he learns ing his lessons, he must always present and is going to have to learn a vast mass an intelligent and bold front to the in- of material over again at the end of the structor, or professor, as he is called in semester? Every student knows that if less democratic countries than America. he writes a good examination at the end

It is impossible for a student to study of the semester, thus giving the in- properly unless his surroundings are structor the impression that he has conducive to rest and recreation. He learned something from the course, he must be provided with a perfectly ap- will get a good grade regardless of what pointed desk or writing-table that will his previous work has been. Why, then, be used only on rare and unusual occa- slave every day when, by staying up all

sions ; he must have a comfortable leather night before an examination, one can easy chair drawn up before a glowing procure the same results with a mini- open fire at which he can toast his toes mum of effort? he must have a softly shaded bridge Studying is by far the easiest work lamp to provide for him a rosy illumina- that a university student has thrust upon tion—a glaring, practical light would not him. It is far harder to find a fraternity serve so well to put him to sleep; on a brother of yours who has the solution of table at his elbow must be some popular a certain problem on a particular page of books of light fiction and a plate of fruit a mathematics book completely worked or candy, for it is impossible to study out than it is to work the problem for if one cannot, at the same time, exercise yourself. But it is vastly less sociable to the jaws, rolling them about in the pleas- sit alone in your own room for an hour ant motions of eating. Eating while one while you struggle with the mysteries of studies serves to give one that dull, X and y than it is to stroll from room sleepy, comfortable feeling which offers to room inquiring of each of the breth- an excuse to allow one's book to slip to ren if he is the one who holds the key the floor while he gazes dreamily into the to your success in mathematics. Then, glowing fire, building romantic castles too, your own solution is far more apt in Spain. to be wrong than one on which has been The most propitious time for studying expended all the mathematical genius in is immediately before an examination. the house. If one studies consistently during the My parting advice to all would-be six weeks, he only forgets a major por- scholars in this: Study only when you tion of what he learns, and it is neces- can find no good excuse for doing other- sary for him to re-learn all that material wise ; study when you have the proper before an examination. Why, then, take surroundings ; study only before exam- the trouble to learn it more than once? inations; and never study when you can The old adage which we used to recite find someone who will do your work for at high school banquets is especially ap- you.

— 17 — The Fascination of Machinery

James C. Tourek

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

TVyTACHINERY of any kind has ever. It was no longer, however, a primi-

•^ ' * always been a source of interest to tive instinct. That inborn desire was me. Even in my younger days, when I now being reinforced by the ability to recognized any mechanism as simply a recognize the true worth and meaning medley of moving parts, I was fascin- of machinery, the ability to see more ated by standing by and watching things than just the mere iron and steel that "work." Anything mechanical attracted go to make up the machine. my attention. I would stand for minutes Well prepared with my high school at a time just to watch the operation of education, I went out into the business a concrete-mixer; the actions of a steam world to seek an interesting job dealing shovel would delight me for hours at a with machiner}-. I found just what I time. Whenever I was fortunate enough wanted in the drafting-room of a cor- to get close to a railroad train, the engine poration which manufactured printing- with all of its moving parts was the chief presses. There I would be close to things object of my admiration. Moreover, the pertaining to my delight, machinery. And engineer who knew how to operate all this was real machinery. If any object of that mass of intricate machinery had, deserves to be called a machine, a modern in my opinion, one of the most desirable printing-press is the object. It embodies positions in the world. Even in my play, practically all of the principles of me- things of a mechanical nature seemed to chanics. It was there that I learned many take the lead among the sources of my things which taught me the true value pleasure. My favorite toys were those of machinery. There I could see all the representing models of some real ma- work of designing, that very careful chinery, or those having some moving work in which particular attention had parts with which I could tamper. Verily, to be paid to stress and strain, wear, and I was a true son of this machine age. operation in conjunction with the rest of After I had gone to school for some the machine. All of this was done with time, I began to view machinery with a an astounding degree of exactness. Then bit of understanding and not with just I had the opportunity to go out into the the observance of mere action and mov- shop and see the actual manufacture of ing parts. My education, especially in the parts. There again, I saw a repetition high school, had been one almost purely of precision and exactness as expert technical ; I had spent much of my time workmen performed their work to pro- in drafting-rooms and in the various deduce each piece, a perfect part to go into partments of shop-practice training. a perfect machine. After several years of this sort of educa- After viewing all of these things, I tion, my love for things mechanical still have developed a real sense of apprecia- remained; in fact, it was stronger than tion for machinery. A machine no

— 18 — — ;

longer fascinates me just because of think of the expert shopman working itself. I think not only of the pre- with his very skilled hands. Then I cise and beautiful action, but of all think of both of them, working to- the exact work which made possible gether to produce that most perfect that beautiful action. I think of the harmony in iron and steel, the modern engineer, figuring and designing. I machine.

The Language of Bees

Marvin Carmack

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

'"pHE senses of insects are of necessity traits. The ideas we form of their per- * highly developed, since they must ceptions, based on the faculties given to take the place of a guiding intellect. us, may be entirely incorrect.

Certainly, of all insects, this statement One of the senses which has no par-

is most true of bees. The marvelously allel among men is the use of the anten- delicate sense of smell that guides the nae. In some subtle way these sensitive worker bee to the most distant source of "feelers" recognize the presence of other

nectar ; the keen sight that enables her bees or enemy insects ; they also seem

to return straight to her own hive ; the to be a means of communication. Bees admirable sense of feeling with which use the antennae especially at night she constructs her comb in the dark, when they are guarding their hives from pours honey in the cells, feeds the young, invasion by moths. Though bees require

and recognizes her queen ; the acute taste much light to see, and become blind in which selects just the proper food and moonlight, the sentinels have an effective drink—these are the things that have means of protection. The slightest con- piqued the interest of philosophers and tact with the waving "feelers" serves to scientists for centuries. Even after arouse the whole hive. The bees on thousands of years of observation we guard during the night at the entrance cannot be sure that bees possess the often produce a light rustling sound senses—smell, sight, feeling, and taste when any strange insect touches their in the same way that men do, for they antennae, the sound assumes a different often exhibit seemingly inexplicable character, and several workers from the

— 19- rv

inside come out to drive ofif the invader. cannot hear in the ordinary sense, we can Certain responses of bees seem to in- only conclude that they do communicate, dicate a sense of hearing also. If we and that certain signals produce fairly alighting of hive, the tap on the board a regular results. bees immediately begin to vibrate their Such observations as these, recorded

wings ; if we blow through a small hole by unquestionable authorities, appear to in the hive, we hear some of them pro- prove that language exists among these ducing sharp and interrupted sounds insects. After all, there is nothing un- with their wings, and there is a general reasonable in the idea of language among movement toward the side where the beings so highly developed in instinct as air entered. Except for such instinctive signals and responses, however, bees are bees, whose active lives and inter- entirely unaffected by sounds, even of dependency require communication to be loud thunder or guns. Although they properly continued.

Dreams Are My Adventure

Arnold Green baum

Theme 10, Rhetorie I. 1931-32

CHICAGO is not a true representative I live every day with very little variation of the State of Illinois; and, likewise, from the preceding or the succeeding one

the life I lead by day is no criterion of —I do little more than work, walk, talk, what I really am. The real adventure of and study. That is what convention has

my life occurs in my slumber ; my actions done to me. and emotions during waking hours serve But as soon as I lie down on that

only as fuel for my furnace of dreams. magic carpet vulgarly called a bed, I no Convention has bound me to dress as longer follow the pattern. My sense of others do, to conduct my life within a right and wrong deserts me. I find my- given set of rules, and to appear to be self in unusual situations, and I solve my as unimaginative as a mathematics in- problems in odd fashion. There are fan-

structor; but it can set no rules for me tastic dreams, virtuous dreams, and sen- to dream by. suous orgies. My petty enemies of the Custom has put me in its mold and has day become monsters at night. I plot to

stamped me as it has marked every other ruin them, and usually succeed. Once a

youth of today. I can read Spanish, I do boy and I quarreled over a trifle, but that

not fear ax^ -|- bx -(- c = 0, I think night I conceived such a hate for him cowardice is shameful, I swim and play that I afterwards avoided speaking to

baseball, I think money is the root of all him, lest my aversion be shown and a

evil, I believe feminine chastity is a vir- serious fight result. At other times I

tue, I can quote Shakespeare, and I have explored all this world, and others,

believe a boy's best friend is his mother. too. I am sure I should find them just

— 20- ; 55

as my dreams have pictured them. I by deadly gas. I have been a motor man, have sung Cancionc of Verdi, and have and have driven a street car on trackless had critics acclaim me immortal. I have streets. I have asked the Mad Hatter the jumped from a clifif to my death, and in time of day, and have moved around the my sleep have suffered all the agonies table with him, drinking tea. I have lived of such an entrance into eternity. I have Hajj, the Beggar of Bagdad. I have had love affairs with every type of dissected cadavers and have solved the woman under the sun, and have married mystery of life. Cortez and I have con- the worst. I have seen an exquisite rose- quered Mexico and have viewed the bud unfold and expose the features of glory of the Aztecs. What haven't I a leering Chinaman who came at me with done in my dreams? a poisoned arrow which he plunged into The world may regulate my actions my heart. I have dined with the gods in and passions while it controls me, but Valhalla, talked with Thor, walked with its attempts to dominate my sleep and

Odin. I have been a coal miner trapped dreams, have been feeble. In slumber, I by a cave-in, and have been suffocated am supreme.

Writing as a Safety-Valve for Emotion

Myron D. Green

Theme 13, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

TTOR innumerable years the art of should give full vent to his wrath. He * writing has been used as a sort of advised the ofificer not to post the letter safety-valve for emotion. Of course it for a few days, however. Later, when has not always been known as such, but questioned by the general as to when the this purpose has been served, neverthe- letter should be mailed, Lincoln replied, less. It has provided a safe outlet for "Don't send it. Reread it, and destroy it powerful, excessive emotions that might but don't post it. It has served its pur- have proved quite disastrous if they had pose." The letter had indeed served a been allowed to culminate in some other worthy purpose ! It had given expression form of expression—physical violence, to the general's pent ire, and, since it was for instance. Writing has relieved destroyed, it prevented discord and ill- mental tension due to an overabundance feeling between the soldier and the of some emotion—love, perchance, or officer. hatred, or fear. At all times it has acted Many of the greatest authors of all as a regulator for strong personal times have resorted to writing to express feelings. their excessive emotions. Authors, the

Lincoln is said to have once told a same as painters, musicians, and others general of his, who was quite angry at of so-called "artistic" temperament, are a subordinate over some trivial matter, high-spirited and excitable. Because of to write the fellow a letter in which he this, they experience more emotions, and

— 21 — ; r^

emotions of a higher degree, than or- sensitive and over-emotional." The afifair dinary men do. It is usually while under seems ludicrous to us, but to that youth

the power of some strong feeling that it was a grim reality. If his superabun- most writers produce their best work. dant feelings only could have been di-

Shelley is famed for his exuberance (as verted into the channel of writing rather

displayed in "To a Skylark") ; Jonathan than the channel of physical violence, the

Swift is noted for his harshly critical regrettable event would, in all probability,

turn of mind ; Longfellow for his ap- never have taken place.

preciation of beautiful scenes of life All persons, even you and I, frequently Wordsworth for his appreciation of hear something, see something, or learn beautiful scenes of nature; and Poe for something that rouses an uncontrollable, his ability to appall the reader with de- almost indescribable feeling within us. pressing description and narrative. The Our souls are stirred,—rocked,—yes, ability of each of these, and of all other blasted to their very depths by some successful writers, may be traced directly powerful emotion. It may be hatred,

to some deep-set, uncontrollable emotion fear, or jealousy; it may be love, or a

for which writing has provided an outlet sense of beauty ;^but, good or bad, it

—a safety-valve, as it were. overcomes us—carries us away. Then it We read in our daily newspapers, only is that we may ease the tenseness of our to-day, of a sixteen year old youth killing minds by writing down on paper what

a twelve year old girl and himself as the we feel within ourselves. Then it is that

result of a "puppy-love-affair." The writing is truly a safety-valve for reporters describe the youth as "super- emotion.

Sancho Panza

Ernesto del Risco

Book Refort, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

EVERYONE knows about Don cho, Cervantes' novel would be a series Quijote, who read tales of giants and of fantastic adventures, which would,

princesses and enchanted castles and perhaps, amuse us, but it would not have

wandering knights of great strength and the interest and appeal it has now. San- courage until he determined to become a cho with his common sense and his tend- knight himself, and to accomplish great ency to see life and things as they really things, but we do not pay much attention are, makes the book more human and to his faithful squire, Sancho Panza. more universal.

To me, Sancho is as important as his Before becoming Don Quijote's squire,

master, and he is as well portrayed as Sancho was a farmer. He was a good Don Quijote himself. Both characters and honest man, but he was not very in- complement each other. Without San- telligent, and Don Quijote did not have

— 22- /

to argue very long to make him believe ter or a tj'pe. He is the personification that he would become rich and famous, of common sense and realism in con- if he consented to serve him as a squire. trast with madness and excessive ideal- He served his master, faithfully and loy- ism, personified by Don Quijote. He, ally, and he never deserted him, although probabl}', is not so fascinating and exotic he realized, before long, that Don Quijote as his master, but he is more human and vi^as mad. more likable than the "hidalgo" from

Sancho Panza is more than a charac- La Mancha.

"Soup, Beautiful Soup!" (L. Carroll)

Yanita Grossman

Theme 10, Rhetoric I. 1931-32

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these—'Soup again !'"

TT is the foreordained right of board- such, must rise and unite in protest. * ing-house landladies to inflict hash When we first came here to live, the upon their weak-stomached guests. meals, though not composed of expen- powers-that-be in kitchens When the the sive foods, were appetizingly prepared of campus houses assume that preroga- and pleasantly varied. Now that six tive as their own and set before us left- weeks have passed into the limbo of overs "tastefully disguised," we can say things forgotten and we seem to be im- nothing. But when the remains of three mutably rooted in our respective houses, days of unsatisfactory food are mixed to- the cooks are beginning to lapse into gether in a few gallons of heated water bad and set before us under the guise of habits. Foremost of these is the lament- soup—then all who have any respect for able practice of serving what can best their internal organs and for soup as be described as liquid hash.

— 23- r^

Hamburger, in itself a pleasant dish, moment, and adorned, each one, with a

is greeted with groans. From sad ex- flower impressed cameo-fashion upon its

perience we have learned that it heralds pale yellow satin surface.

spaghetti. The day after that we shall But, oh ! Here we enter the "house" have beans for luncheon, and the follow- dining-room, a cheerful place usually, but ing day the spaghetti with its hamburger now gloomily embellished with plates of remnants and the beans will appear in soup, already cool and fast growing soup. Or again, we are served fresh cooler. Great bowls of soda crackers and

celery for dinner. At the next meal it plates of squarely cut butter pats, not

is creamed. Then in rapid succession particularly good to look at, are set im- corn, turnips, and peas make their mediately in the center of the tables. We debuts. The next day—soup. look with distaste at the soup, decide we Personally, I hold no grudge against really are not hungry, and pass on to

soup. It is an humble dish but one which the salad.

can be raised to heights of great nobility Soup, forsooth ! Was it for such as by a cook who will make the most of his this that valiant cooks poisoned their

artistry. At Giro's, soup is a ceremony. tasters in the attempt to discover out-

Potagc Florentine, steaming in its silver landish and foreign but none the less

tureen and smelling deliciously, is served savoury broths whereby to tickle the

with a reverent flourish by obsequious palates of their lords? Was it of such

and snowy-bosomed beings, who bear it as this that the Mock Turtle voiced his

in with a great show of pomp. How it deathless song? Then why do you sit glints in the soft, rosy light, promising thus, weakly dipping into the nauseous

of richness as it is lovingly ladled from brew ? Up ! and with spoon for sword tureen into porcelain. Hot, crisply and bowl for buckler, storm the kitchen. toasted rolls accompany the dish along Let not posterity turn up their noses,

with the fragrant little pats of butter, saying, "No wonder they were such a

dewy from the nests of cracked ice in crumby lot. Did you ever see what they which they have been awaiting this ate and dignified by the name of soup?"

A Dissertation on Cheese (With apologies to Lamb)

Nathan Levin

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

T TAVE you ever wondered, as you en- have their initial and most important * 'joyed one of the toothsome varieties stage in the heating of milk to a certain

of cheese, how it was discovered that point. I will not vouch for the truth of milk would solidify when heated? For the following story but will leave its

after all, all the fancy varieties of cheese veracity to the discretion of the reader.

-24 — ^f

It seems that many years ago in anci- he had to do was to place the milk bags ent Arabia, there lived a venerable old at the edge of the lake where they would man by the name of Allah Fez who has be kept cool until the time came for their cursed with the most shiftless and indo- conveyance to the garrison. The young lent son that ever vexed a fond father. man, however, preferred to indulge in While the father would be busily en- a refreshing nap until the last moment gaged in the management of his flocks and thus unwittingly brought about one and lands, Allah Fez, Jr., could always of the greatest discoveries of his day. be found dozing in the shade of a palm I believe that all of us know enough tree. The only activity he displayed was chemistry to understand what changes in the devouring of his daily meals. But went on in the milk left exposed to the do not judge this youth too harshly. For rays of the blazing sun. In short, the it was he and no other that to an gave milk changed to cheese. When our young appreciative world that inseparable com- hero loaded the bags on his camels he panion of rye bread, cheese. was too deep in his letharg\^ to notice In recognition of the excellence of the that the bags did not emit their custo- goat's milk produced by his well-tended mary gurgling as they were tossed on the flock, Allah Fez secured the government animals. contract for the garrison which was The result of his carelessness was im- stationed in a near-by town. This served mediate and drastic. The next day the to keep him prosperously busy and boy's father was summoned before a affairs continued in their regular routine. court martial on the charge of breach But this condition was not destined to of contract in not supplying any milk last. One day the faithful Moslem re- on the day before. The poor man, dazed ceived notice that he should be especially and bewildered, seemed sure to lose his careful in preserving the sweetness of prestige, to say nothing of his lucrative the milk since the Commander in Chief contract. of the Arabian army was to be the guest But he was rescued by an event that of honor. Allah Fez had to leave town seems little short of miraculous. The that day for important personal reasons, prosecuting attorney was in full stride, so he looked around for someone to denouncing the old man in violent terms. supervise this important transaction. In midst of his arguments he held Now the aforementioned son comes the aloft skin bag, full, not into the story. What was more natural Exhibit 1, a goat than that the son and only heir of the of milk, but of some strange solid sub- family possessions should "step into his stance. His Honor was attracted by the father's shoes." Allah Fez attended to rather pleasant aroma of the fresh all the details incidental to the comple- cheese and demanded a closer inspection tion of his contract, leaving only the de- of the article in question. He opened the livery of the milk to his son. bag ; he tasted ; and he was won. The It would appear obvious that this surprised Allah Fez was congratulated simple task should have been carried out as the inventor of a wonderful new food without mishap even by a person with and was rewarded with an even more lu-

Allah Fez, Jr.'s indifference. In fact all crative contract for the new substance.

— 25 — Cod-Liver Oil

Mildred Henriot

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1930-31 npHE thought of taking a tablespoon- my mouth. It rolls as a ball to the end * ful of cod-Hver oil nauseates me. It of my tongue and stops there. With a takes ail nerve to reach into the ice my cringing and clenching of fists, I manage box and draw out that sickening oil. to send it on its way. After it is gone, With very reluctant fingers I unscrew the fish-like taste comes straight up my the top and turn my head from the fishy throat and settles at the starting place to odor that issues forth. I pour the heavy plague me all day. The vileness of cod- yellow liquid in a spoon and brace my- liver oil combines all the slipperiness of self. The odor stifles me and my stomach tips and turns in my body. I close my oil and the evil fishy tastes of sickening eyes and literally ram the spoon into oils.

A Perfect Job

R. Webber

Theme 13, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

(~\^ cold mornings I cannot help think- can touch them with a marlin spike.

^-^ ing of the time I spent as third mate The steamer slips past innumerable, on a small packet steamer carrying mail, tiny, palm-covered islands and coral small cargo, and passengers from Mar- reefs. We pass through the Boca del tinique to San Fernando on the Orinoco Sierpe and approach the mouth of the River in the heart of Venezuela. The Orinoco. The waters change and become trip took us about ten days and the fresh and dirty colored. A more or less distance was about twelve hundred nau- dense jungle lines the River. Farther tical miles. back there are vast stretches of culti- You might think this trip would get vated land. Even so there are still tiresome as we merely shuttled back and stretches of river where we stay in the forth like a street car, but the ever middle of the stream, for the Indians changing delights of the tropics took are unfriendly and no one wants a away all monotony. The days sparkle poisoned arrow in his back. with a brilliance found only on a tropical At last we come to Ciudad Bolivar, sea, and the nights are usually clear and made up of a few huts, a few Indians, cool. The stars hang so low you feel you many empty Standard Oil tins, and in-

— 26- &/

numerable dogs. It is a town, however, used to the sights of the tropics but when and we are glad to see it. We leave some we see this island even the most hard- mail, a little cargo, and perhaps some- ened fireman gasps with amazement. one for one of the plantations bound Words cannot describe the perfect sym- or an oil field in the Guiana highlands. phony of color. It is like an emerald sur- The next day we continue on toward rounded by varicolored stones. We go San Fernando. There, if one wants to ashore and our friends vie with one go on, one must take a small boat as another to see in whose house we will the water is too shallow for the steamer stay. farther up the river. few days later leave to We stay here a few days and then A we make make our way back to Martinique. Our another trip to San Fernando. Every boat does not make another trip for a day is like a vacation. Do you wonder week, so the whole crew goes to Van- I find it hard to keep my mind on my jada where the Captain lives. We are lessons on a cold morning?

Between Halves

Helen Russell

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

iij OOK at that drum major; would University of Illinois drum major was

•^--'you! Isn't he just grand, and isn't the little boy, and I was the small girl. that a nifty outfit with that great big What grand times we used to have pa- black bear shako? My, but he's a big rading around the neighborhood and fellow, and he certainl}- handles himself driving everyone crazy with our terrible and baton well." These comments hurled din ! When other small boys had aspired past my ears between halves of the to be train engineers or fire engine driv- Homecoming game. Each and everyone ers, my brother had hoped to be drum of them puiTed up my pride several major at Illinois. notches, for that handsome, strutting I forgot my reminiscences in my ex- drum major was my big brother ! citement as I watched him leading the While I was tensely watching the ma- band through its formations. The night neuverings of the band, I found myself before he had showed me the diagrams substituting another picture for the one which outlined every little detail, and he before me. In place of the towering explained how one small mistake on his drum major was a little boy brandishing part would ruin the entire formation. So a broomstick with a croquet-ball driven as each maneuver was carried out per- onto the end. It was not a band he was fectly, I breathed more easily and the leading but a fat, bobbed-haired little chills of apprehension changed to thrills. girl in overalls fervently beating a tin When the band wheeled into the revolv- pan with a wooden spoon. The present ing Michigan shield, the intelligent-look-

-27- iiig man sitting in front of me turned to leaning forward and shouting at him, his wife and I heard him remark, "I "That's my brother!" played in the for four years, band and After the gun ended the final quarter, the boys felt that the drum major was the "world's greatest college band" as- the quarterback of it. While on the field sembled and marched off the field. As the entire band is his responsibility, and I eagerly stood on tiptoe to see the last he has to give all the signals. If all the proud wave of the drum major's orange plans work smoothly, the drum major plume and bright liash of his upraised deserves a great deal of credit. That drum major out there sure knows his silver baton, there was one loyal Illini stufif." who felt the afternoon's performance

It was all that I could do to keep from has been a real success.

VV\\.\,V\V V ^J^^J ^^j^ -i^^ J, I

A Character Sketch

Nettie Fine

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

T TE looked like a faded print come to he made when he found us there, after

*^ ^ life, this old German with the tat- we had carried out our plans of destruc- tered mustache. Autumn was his appro- tion. Have you seen a leaf touched with priate background, for he blended per- flame? How it curls and writhes into fectly with a season about to die. Upon nothingness? He trembled and finally first acquaintance we had labeled him a managed to say something bitter in his negative personality with a touch of the own tongue. And then with pathetic eccentric. bravado in his voice, he shouted, "Get He was not negative, as we discovered oud off heer !" His eyes were wild as later. One day we ventured into his rhu- we hurriedly backed out, and when I barb garden, the greatest curiosity on the turned back, I saw him very slowly go block. I shall never forget the picture into his house, like a man broken.

-28 — UJ

He was the neighborhood legend. a window pane, with reverence that was Ahhough he had lived in the same house tender. He delighted in his children and for over twenty years, no one seemed was a good father to them. At last he to know much about him. He kept him- had found happiness. self very aloof. But it was not to continue. People His rhubarb patch was a delight to us, began to protest against his property, but to our parents it was the "eye sore" which to them was unsightly, and wanted of the neighborhood. They talked to have it removed. It was at this time vaguely of signing petitions. We learned that he had gradually crept into his that someone had once gone to bribe him silent, brooding shell and remained. so that he might give up his garden. It What had happened once, was happening was history that for five nights after- again. Life was taking from him. But wards, he slept in the garden, with an this time he would fight and win. His antiquated shotgun by his side. stubbornness held out longer than the Finally we learned more about him, anger and ridicule directed against him. and solved the key to his mysterious That was long ago. His sons had hermitage. Twenty-five years previous grown to be ashamed of this little old he had come to our street, after unbe- man with the bony hands, and had left lievable hardships in the old country. him. But his bitterness grew until doubt His wife had been murdered before his and suspicion were firmly fastened in eyes, and his dearly prized home and his make-up. garden were taken from him. With his One day they found him sitting quietly three young sons, he had fled to America. in front of his fireplace, with his eyes The loss of his wife was irreparable, closed, and the harsh lines erased from but the desire for a home and a garden, his face. like the one he had once had, became The autumn was at an end. an obsession with him. All that he had His sons ventured near, obese Ger- held dear in the old life had been taken mans, flushed with prosperity. They from him, but in this new life a man buried him quickly and were never seen was free. again. So he had begun to tend his rhubarb A few rhubarb plants refused to be religiously, and to spend hours repairing destroyed and grew year after year.

29- The Passing in the Night

James Phelan

Long Narrative, Rhetoric II, 1930-31

And therefore be not short-z'isiofied, and cry out against the gods, for in the end sorrow and happiness arc allotted in equal portions, measure for measure, grain for grain until the balance tips not an inch to either side. ... So think, if your lot be bitter, of the ivhole of the scheme, rather than of your luckless little part. For by such is a man sustained; the human comedy is forced on; the threads ticine and unravel, and the peak of htimor is unknoxvingly reached and passed, and over all sounds the rumbling laughter of the gods.

pOR a day and a half after the Maria only when he rounded an outjutting of ^ Louisa went down, Cleg hung to the sand at the far end, and saw the oppo- floating barrel, tossed by an unmerciful site beach turn back upon itself at the sea, battered and hopeless and spent. But end of a short stretch, and moonlight on on the evening of the second day he limitless water beyond, that conscious came ashore on a little island, collapsed fear first came over him. He turned, half on the beach and half in the sea, half-afraid, to the long hill of sand be- and slept until the return of the tide the tween the two beaches. Unconsciously next day. he shuddered; then slowly he criss- And he rose wearily and looked crossed the hill from beach to beach, and around him. He was somewhere on the his hope dwindled as the remaining South Pacific. He was alone, and for length of the dune diminished. There some unknown reason, he was alive. was no spring, no well, no pond on the Providence had thrust up these few island. A man has to have water to live, acres of land in the middle of miles of thought Cleg as he returned to the mid- water, in order that one of its creatures dle of the beach, and there's no water might live for a few days more. So Cleg, here, so I shall die. Even after praying, not knowing that the island had no I shall die. water, nor that its other shore was a few He lay down on the sloping side of hundred feet across a hill of sand behind the beach. Were it not for this thirst (he him, fell down upon his knees and meditated), death would seem as unim- thanked his God, and then slept again. portant and as far awa}' as usual. The Thirst wakened him the second time, night was all colorless, black and silver; and seeing the full moon in a tranquil a huge moon, surrounded by its pale sky, he judged that it was the second circle of radiance, shone in the empty night after his being washed ashore. He sky. The sea was indigo, and spread stood awhile, conscious of the perfection boundlessly from the tiny beach outward, of the tropic night, but then thirst re- and the whole world was quiet, save for turned, persistent, and he stumbled down the measured and limited beating of the beach, searching for water. It was Cleg's heart.

-30- For a time he lay, studying the crisp, then bolted suddenly out of sleep and ten unordered shadows of the moon's volca- feet down the beach. Somewhere out noes. How queer a way for me to die, in the half-night before him a yacht's he thought, unplanned, unexpectedly, whistle had hooted, and now, when his with no doctors, no clean, white sheets, vision cleared; Cleg saw the lights two no bitter, useless pills to take every forty miles off the shore, slowly drawing minutes. all Think of the tears which abreast him and passing, passing, passing. would gladly be shed over me, for I'm The sudden, passionate desire to live no seaman and I'm not worthy of a death whimpered in him, and Cleg stood waist like this. And this prodigious waste of deep in the sea, shouting half-animal opportunity! Here I am, passing from cries, tinged with a human, half-queru- life the proper way, but I'm the wrong lous quaver of hope, as the yacht went person; I'm robbing some Conrad hero sedately by ... . of a precise and fatting ending for his adventures. There's something wrong. But on the yacht two foolish young Weighted down by the aching quiet he lovers clung to each other, watching the fell to thinking of his past life, and all moon and the passing sea. The youth the useless years paraded past him. Let had been drinking a bit too much, which me die quickly, he thought; let the made him feel overly sentimental. months pass and the curious tide come "Madge," he said, "isn't that a desert up the beach at night to stir a heap of island off there?" He disengaged his fleshless bones like a man laughing softly right hand and pointed. over an old jest. The last expiring "I believe that it is, dearest." vestige of the passion for life moved Now neither of them was really in- Cleg to his feet and he plodded once terested in this island, nor in anything again around the isle, crying out to the much other than themselves, but the boy sea, "This is my hand flung up in last leaned down over the girl and said softly farewell." He returned and lay down in her ear. "Angel girl, wouldn't it be in the hollow his body had made before glorious if and beat the packed sand in frustration. just you and I were there to- The beach, the sea, the moon and sky gether, with no supplies, and only love were the same, unmoved, unchanged. to live on?" Cleg fell into what he thought was his Over to the south the heat thunder last sleep. spoke, rumbling like the laughter of the He slept for a half hour, an hour, and gods.

— 31 —

mtCKEEN CALDKON

VOLUME I March 1932 NUMBER 3

THE GREEN CALDRON

March 1932

CONTENTS

Ox Being Shown Some Letters—Elizabeth Osborne .... 2

Why I Dislike Dream-Tellers—James L. Raincy 3 On Being .^n Elevator Boy—Richard Turner 3 Dinner Is Served—Oifcn Reamer 5 Reflections of a Dishwasher—Phyllis Gcrrard 7 In and Out of a State Prison—Helen Russell 8

Choosing .\ Vocation—Divight L. Emmcl 10 A Call—//. R. McNeely H

.\ Rhapsody in Green—Donan C. Kirlcy lo A Foreigner's Attitltde Toward America and Americans—/. Hazcn Fletcher 14

Old Clothes—/. P. Jordan 15 Taking Notes—George F. Fritzinger 17 The Art of Goat Milking—Jack E. .Inderson 18 Fireside Spectres—F. G. Fcltham 19 Modeling—Ruth McClain 21 Jose Pardo—Ernesto del Risco 22 "The Rivet in Grandfather's Neck"—Nettie Fine 23 ilY Own "Beaumont and Fletcher"—//. Dahlke 23 The Swimming Hole—Helen U'esternian 25 Crowding the Hero Bench—Evelyn Nelson 26 My Playhouse—Velma A. Denny 27 Reflections in the Coal Room—l^arvine Dover 29 Incident at Sea—James Phelan 30

PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF university of ILLINOIS URBANA

VOLUME I NUMBER 3 ;?

On Being Shown Some Letters Elizabeth Osborne

Rhetoric I, 1931-32

They wrote my mother that they saw me here:

"She is so charming, gracious, well-poised, cool; Polite but never uncontrolled—a dear; A true aristocrat!" (and thus a fool) Compared me to "a pure-white fragrant flower,"

(Cut from its root) "calm in a florist's box."

I toiled, in anguish, many a lonely hour,

Before I put emotion under locks;

I was not always calm. If I'd allowed

Myself to grow as I was born to be,

I'd live, a wandering tattered gypsy, proud

.•\nd gay. The flower they'd have compared to nic Had been a ragged Indian paint-brush, lone. Wild, rough—a living flame when bird^ have flown. (s>y

Why I Dislike Dream-Tellers

James L. Rainey

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

can endure post-mortems of golf very vivid imaginations. I admit that

I games. I can throw my mind into some of their dreams might make good neutral and await the finish of an argu- short-story plots. I doubt seriously, how- ment on the relative merits of Greta ever, if they actually dream all that they

Garbo and Ruth Chatterton. I can even say they do. stand by patiently while some bubbling The real reason for my dislike of humorist strives to recall how Alike dreams and dreamers is that I never have answered when Pat asked, "What is the any dreams myself. I have tried every- difference between an elephant and a thing from mince pie to toasted cheese piano?" But I cannot restrain myself sandwiches in attempts to stimulate my when someone begins to talk about subconscious mind, but I have accom- dreams. Before the chronic dreamers plished nothing. When I go to sleep I even wade through the circumstances drop into a bottomless well, where I can which led up to their experience,! take my see nothing and hear nothing, and in tongue in hand and lead it far, far away, which the passage of eight hours takes where it can say nothing which might but a few minutes. When I fade out into reflect on the good taste of its owner. slumber I can be blissfully sure that the In the first place, I think that most clanging of the morning bell will not tear dreams, at least those which are interest- me away from an Indian fight on the ing enough to tell in public, are fakes. western plains, rescue me from the Most of them are a bit too exciting, a bogey-man, or leave me stranded on a trifle too well arranged, and far too fresh desert island. In short, sleep to me in the memories of their tellers to be means utter forgetfulness, not the three- genuine dreams. I concede that these ring circus through which some people habitual riders of the night-mare have go every night.

On Being an Elevator Boy

Richard Turner

Theme IT, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

IT is extremely important, so my rheto- on elevator boys, I have been a "public ric instructor says, in choosing a topic servant" for quite a few years, being at for a theme to select a subject of which one time or another a peanut vendor, a you have some knowledge. While I by theatre usher, a porter, a house-boy, a no means consider myself an authority bus boy, and an elevator boy. I served in the last capacity for seven months, baseball, and Chicago are suitable for my longest term of employment in any ever3'one except old gentlemen, who dis- of the foregoing positions. Nevertheless, cuss lengthily their health, their rheuma-

I believe seven months was enough for tism, and how hot or cold it was back in me to secure an adequate supply of in- '89. Everyone, whether young or old, formation to draw upon for this advice will have a different opinion about the to those who aspire to become elevator weather. I have been, in rapid succession boys. Abandon all such aspirations unless "rather warm," "hot," and "a little you have an attractive appearance and a chilly," because a good elevator boy winning smile ; unless you are an au- agrees entireW with the guests. It was thority on baseball, politics, Al Capone, very irritating to me last summer, when and the weather ; and unless you are able the mercury was hovering around one to control your emotions. hundred degrees, to have someone re-

The first item is a prerequisite, for no mark that it was a little warm, when any hotel manager will hire anyone who is fool would know that it was downright dirty, poorly dressed, or liomel)'. You hot. Then just when I had convinced must have three different smiles: one, a myself I was cool and comfortable, sophisticated smirk for the traveling someone would very politely inform me

salesmen when they tell you their favor- that it was very sultrj', give me the tem- ite story; another, a wide, unaffected perature reading, and end by inquiring

grin, for the young ladies ; and finally, a if I didn't find it rather warm working warm welcoming smile for the general inside. Frequently, with great gravity, public. These facial expressions of I would say I was quite cool, just to see amusement, affection, and welcome, the expression on my tormentor's face. should never be indulged in when you Many, no doubt, thought that the heat are in view of the manager or his assist- had affected by mind.

ants, or you will probably join the great Utter agreement with the public is

army of tlie unemployed. The only ob- rather trying at times, but you must

ject of any smile is to create a friendly always keep your emotions under con- feeling, which may result in a lucrative trol, bearing in mind the source of your

tip. An excellent rule is to smile at extra dimes. I was never very successful everybody, no matter what they appear at suppressing my emotions, and, at

to be, for appearances deceive. I remem- times, it was worth a possible quarter or

ber one day, while I was running my ele- fifty cents to say that the Cubs would

vator up and down, a little old lady, very beat the Cardinals to an ardent St. Louis quaintly dressed, gave me fifty cents, fan. Naturalh' an elevator boy will re-

which I, for once, was very loath to ceive a few reprimands from those im-

accept because it looked as if it were all patient souls who think they are the only the money she had. I found out later guests in the hotel. For any and all re-

that she owned an immense amount of proofs, a set, strong silence is very effec-

real estate, valued at about five hundred tive, and it is useless to argue, for that thousand dollars. No wonder she could only increases the irritation of the com- pass out half-dollars so casually. plainant. Might I say to those who in- When 3'ou have broken the ice with tend to be Mr. and Mrs. General Public,

your smile, you must be ready to talk that an elevator boy is only human, and fluently on any desired subject. Business, makes mistakes the same as you do, but //

are you called down for your every frequently I have eaten candy, peanuts, fault ? pop corn, and ice cream cones while on The ultimate result of smiling, saying the elevator. My crowning achievement, yes, and keeping your mouth shut, is, of however, was eating a large piece of de- course, a tip. An elevator boy will be licious cherry pie, originally intended for your friend for life if you slip him a the manager, while I glided merrily up quarter or a half-dollar, or even offer and down the shaft. him a stick of gum or a cigarette. .Such To those who want to be amused, ir- things as eating or smoking on the job ritated, disillusioned, and versed in the are naturally not countenanced by the ways of the world, I say in conclusion, management, but that is easily circum- liecome an elevator boy. It is an experi- vented by one of experience. Very ence never to be forgotten.

Dinner is Served

Owen Reamer

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1931-32 piCTURE almost any evening in the folk in the kitchen hot. Now the other I week. The minute hand of the clock workers begin to pour in. First comes has ticked around under its cracked glass Johnny Spirano, a little Italian who is to the five thirty-tive mark. Airs. Cres- studying athletic coaching. Then Rosch ton, ruling genius of Gamma Gamma appears. He has a mass of curly hair

Fraternity's kitchen, bustles around the and a little mustache. Though perfectly great range turning this fire on and that fitted for his role as garc^on, he is plan- fire off. There is a sound of fumbling ning to be an engineer. Terry comes at the side door, and in comes her first rushing in last and sheds overcoat, coat, helper. He is tall and skinny and wears and vest, with one deft jerk. He is a a sheepskin. Beneath this outer garment commercial student, the third member is the inevitable sweater that causes (with Rosch and Johnny) of a mighty much anguish to the other boys and Mrs. triumvirate of seniors. Romen, the first

Creston. No matter how high the tem- to enter, is the sole representative of the perature, the sweater is not discarded. freshman class. The very sight of the garment makes the Quickly, as these minions appear, they

— S- —

fall into their routine. Rosch and Johnny drops a wisp of lettuce on a place and don little white monkey jackets, for they Mrs. Creston tops it with a cube of fruit are the waiters. Terry and Romen have gelatin. Terry has finished distributing aprons, for they are, respectively, a pot plates and is following on Mrs. Creston's boy and a dishwasher. Johnny sets the trail with a pot of mayonnaise. Six-ten tables, an intricate business in which a and all the salads are in their places in swarm of knives, forks, and spoons, the dining room, as placidly perfect as plates, and glasses, appear and settle if they had been completed hours before. magically into place. Rosch fills the Si.x-ten, of course, is the signal that sugar bowls and brings in water. He sends countless hungry brothers into the alone is intrusted with supplying the dining room with a scurry of feet and tables with bread, for he is the only one a rustle of chairs. Boards are placed, who can turn out such quantities of even now, on the kitchen table to hold the slices in such a short space of time. steaming pots, and Terry rushes in from While this preparation in the dining the pantry balancing a stack of plates room is going on, Romen and Terry are precariously in front of him. The serv- busy in the kitchen. Romen carries out ing line forms. A plate starts from the the piles of cans and rubbish that Mrs. stack and receives vegetables from Terry,

Creston has heaped upon the sink. It a scoop of potatoes from Romen, and a its remarkable to see the accuracy he has slice of meat from Mrs. Creston. At the attained in shifting his lanky form about end of the line Rosch receives the fin- in the narrow path he must tread to the ished product—truly a joy to behold door. Mrs. Creston, the icebox, and the and, after distributing seven similar table are dodged in one deft movement. plates throughout his fingers and over

Terry is creating a cloud of steam in the his arms, he dashes majestically into the sink where he is mashing potatoes. All dining room. Johnny also serves, though these activities have taken place in ap- he has not acquired the art of holding proximately ten minutes, and it is only seven plates at one time. Rosch comes six o'clock. back shouting, "Eight to go !" These Final preparations now begin. Johnny eight are soon waited on, and the kitchen and Rosch dish up cocktails or soup and force, sighing with relief, sits down to its dash around ringing first and second own meal. Barring the dessert, dished, up bells. Terry slaps down thirty plates or by Mrs. Creston and taken in. by the so in rows on the kitchen table. Romen bustling waiters, "Dinner is served !" '73

Reflections of a Dishwasher

Phyllis Gerrard

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

< < T ERRY ! I've got some news for you slopping of the soft soapy water. This J today!" came the same old story makes me thoughtful rather than talka- from Marge. After a full day of classes, tive.

I tired. had come home hungry and Din- When it is my turn to wash, we do ner was ended ; I glanced over the dining not set the pans in the sink, but put them room. Surely fifteen people could not on the marble top, from which we have a have left such a mess. In the midst of clear view of the street. We see how my reflections there came a second warn- many people we can recognize each time ing from Marge, "Hurry Jerry! We've the trolley passes by the house. Some- got some work to do." I gave one last times our shiny dish pans attract some- long look at the other girls, who were one passing and he sees us at our tasks. happily departing for the parlor, and Once a tiny chap playing beneath the hurriedly began to clear the dirty dishes window looked up and smiled when he from the table. saw the soapy water splashing, and I I am a naturally kind-hearted girl, but wondered where he lived and why he I enjoy the screams of the plates when was so ragged. These thoughts were I scrape their dirty faces. The milk bot- always scattered, for my partner was tle grins when the buttermilk refuses to either asking questions or giving off her slip without coaxing from his sides, and excess strength in bursts of unmelodious the stacks of white porcelain cups stick song. Then I am once more in the out their tongues with enjoyment at my kitchen, my newly manicured nails again sad predicament. Unnerved by all the in the dish water. I come back to a world evil forces about me, I dropped one of of reality, to a world of sinks with black the best glasses, which said, "Oh, I am pan prints, crumby floors that must be too tired to strive in this world," as he swept, tables with green, peeling oil cloth, broke into a million pieces. "We're com- crazy figured and worn linoleum, pans fortable. Don't move us," said a few with hard crusty sides, and cold greasy lonely carrots which were left in a large dishwater. dish ; therefore, I tucked them away in the back of the ice-box, undisturbed. At last, the dish pans on their proper

I, for several reasons, prefer washing nails and the dish towels hanging neatly dishes to drjang them. For one, there is on their racks, we heave a sigh of relief less danger of ending with fragments and depart to join the rest who are danc- rather than whole pieces; however, the ing in the parlor. But alas ! Once in the most important reason is that I am able dining room we are confronted by some to think. While drying dishes I talk and forgotten dishes, their silly faces smiling, !" sing away all my time, but while washing "You forgot us A dance indeed ! An- them I am fascinated by the slipping and other tete-a-tete with the dish pan, and sliding of the plates and pans and the then quiet hours.

-7- — —

In and Out of a State Prison

Helen Russell

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

ONE of our neighboring states claims Our guide came and ushered us into to have the world's largest and most a small iron-barred room, locking us in. efficient state prison, and after going We were carefully counted and searched

through it with a group of friends, I and then conducted to a second room

do not doubt the statement. But it is where we were counted and searched still just a prison to me. again. This procedure was repeated yet

This huge institution is about a mile another time before we were allowed to outside the limits of a medium sized, in- go farther. We visited the library first. dustrial city, located so that escaping It looked like any public library with a convicts would have to go through the large loan desk and a composition floor city or along a highway that leads di- which made our footsteps almost inaudi-

rectly to a small town which is prac- ble. The guide informed us that all tically a look-out station under the di- prisoners were taught reading, writing, rection of the prison. The penitentiary and elementary arithmetic. as we approached it had the appearance We passed on to the cell blocks. Here of any modern well-kept institution. The the convicts slept and stayed certain lawn was mowed by men wearing black hours when they were not working in the caps, who, I learned, were "Trusties" factories. There were twenty-seven cell convicts placed in trustworthy positions blocks in the entire prison, each one a because of good behavior. We entered huge, cement room with iron-barred win- the main building and were conducted to dows. It contained five tiers, with fifty,

a bare waiting room. I had ample time six-by-eight cells in each tier. I stood to study the other occupants before we in front of the cell block and looked from were taken further. There was only one one end of the room to the other—cell other party waiting for a so-called after cell—in endless succession. I "sight-seeing" permit as we were. The looked from the floor to the ceiling rest of the people were immediate rela- cell upon cell upon cell—all exactly alike tives of convicts—a young wife and with a cot, a three-legged stool, a small child, a white-haired mother, a brother mirror and locker. I was thankful that

all shabbily dressed and looking as if the men were not in their cells. I do not

life had been very unkind to them. They believe I could have stood it. made me uncomfortable by their rude We turned and went outdoors into

and almost hostile stares which seemed the courtyard. I now discovered why it to say, "What business have 3'ou, a law- was not necessary to have a wall around abiding citizen, to come and view with the prison. All the buildings were adjoin- unabashed curiosity the wretchedness of ing one another forming an imperfect our friends?" I felt somewhat the same circle. Only in one place was there a way. space of wall connecting two buildings, 7S-

and this was very high and pure white for a beautiful velvet stage curtain which with a watch tower on top. We were was as lovely as most theatres have. fenced in completely. Church services were held here on Sun- Our guide told us that as soon as the day, three services—Catholic, Protestant, show was over, we would visit the and Christian Science. On Saturday theatre. In the meantime we went afternoons, the guide informed us, a through the laundry which was entirely severely censored movie was shown, and managed by convicts. Convicts were sometimes during the week a special en- washing, mending, and ironing ; their tertainment was given. clothing consisted wholly of blue shirts, The next building we visited contained dark blue overalls, and black socks. As a dining hall which we were privileged to we came out again into the sunlight, the view from a balcony overlooking it. prisoners were coming out of the theater. Although it was only four o'clock, a large The}' were marching two by two in dead group was being fed. I had begun to feel silence. The guide said that they were pangs of hunger myself, but as I looked never allowed to speak except in their down upon that food, my appetite van- cells for one hour, and then they could ished. There were five squares, and food not see to whom they were talking. I was served on three sides of each square. asked our guide if he or any of the The prisoner was handed a tin tray, a guards were armed ; he said that none of tin plate, and a tin cup as he entered the them were. I asked him if there was any- door. A certain number of men went to thing to prevent the prisoners from mob- each square. Convicts in white aprons bing us. He assured me that they would and white caps ladled out creamed not be likely to, because nothing would be salmon, fried potatoes, beets, and coffee gained by it. If the guards carried weap- from huge vats four feet deep and three ons they would be in constant danger, for feet in diameter. If there was not room the convicts would be eager to seize them on the plate for the beets, they were and shoot their way to liberty. As the heaped on the tray itself. The convicts prisoners drew near, I could see that they then passed on to long tables with were certainly a "tough looking crew." benches. Every man had to eat every bit Many of them were young, and I believed of food on his tray. He could not leave the statistics stating that out of the 6800 a morsel. If he cared for butter, he had convicts in the prison, 2800 were between to pay for it. I could look out the win- the ages of fifteen and twenty-two. As dow and see the long, long line of men

I looked at them again, I readily believed waiting to eat. It all made me rather ill. the statement that fortj'-five per cent When we left the dining hall, our were negroes. guide pointed out to us a long, high build-

I was greatly relieved when they had ing with just cracks for windows. This, all passed and we were in the theatre. It he told us, was the solitary confinement was a beautiful building, all hand-deco- and quarantine building. In the two up- rated by the prisoners themselves. One per stories, newly entered convicts were convict, we were told, had won a replaced in small rooms furnished with prieve because of his wonderful painting only a cot. They were fed on bread and ability. The State kept him in its employ, milk for a month, and at that time if they and he is now making a comfortable liv- showed no sig^s of developing any dis- ing. The prisoners had made donations eases, they were discharged. In the three

— 9 — lower stories, criminals were locked in stopped before one room which was rooms five by seven feet for misbehavior. filled with boys. One of our party re- They were strapped in a standing posi- marked that the bo3'S looked like patients tion to the door so that all they .could waiting to see a doctor. And the boys see was an iron wall. They were kept in certainly did look sick! They had just this position for five hours, then allowed been sentenced and were waiting to have to sit for one hour, then strapped up their fingerprints taken. Most of them again for five hours. This procedure were 3'oung, and they were very pale at lasted for two weeks, and, during the the thought that none of them could leave time, they were fed only bread and in less than three years ; that was the water, except for one full meal. It shortest term. seemed to me that old-fashioned torture Finally we emerged into the library ships could not have been much worse and then proceeded through the three than this. iron rooms and were counted again. I We walked down a corridor with was glad to leave the place and to feel glassed-in rooms on each side. We that no one could stop me from doing so.

Choosing a Vocation

DwiGHT L. Emmel

Rhetoric I, 1929-30

AS I am a person of modest ambition, I sa}' that I have found this perfect who seeks merely the plums of life profession; actually I only gazed upon it without insisting on melons, I have often from a respectful distance. Certainly I thought of what vocation I should pur- did not discover it in one of those voca- sue. I have found what I believe to be tional guidance books which tell "How to the ideal career. It is a career more hon- Succeed in One Thousand and One orable than onerous, and, if not colos- Ways," explaining the aureate possibili- sally lucrative, at least it enables one to ties and opportunities afforded by Plumb- put on a brave shirt-front before the ing, Piano-Tuning, and Breeding Baby world. Alligators in Your Spare Time. This

10- //

marvelous calling is on a higher plane, forward, and seized a corner of the aloof from the multitude. Though suf- music from which the pianist was play-

fused with limelight, it remains a mys- ing. Clutching the bent-up corner, he tery, rebuffing description. It first came paused for a dramatic moment and then

to my notice last summer at a concert llung the page over and flattened it into in Kimball Hall, an affair designated as submission. After achieving this master a violin and piano recital but which stroke, the musical overlord resumed his proved to be much more than that. chair as casually as though nothing had The first number was on the program happened. Throughout the program he solo. violinist, as a violin The a short, continued this artistic proceeding. I the fat youngster, waddled upon stage, wondered what he could be, and sud- carrying his instrument the nape of by denly in a flash the whole thing dawned the neck as though it were cat in dis- a on me. The man was a professional page- favor. His accompanist, a lanky and lu- turner! What a delightful way of mak- gubrious looking individual, arrived ing a living! empty-handed and seated himself at the Then came a second flash (two in an piano. But there was also a third indi- evening was almost my record). Why vidual— function unknown. I looked could not I, too, be a page-turner? So carefully to see if he had a bassoon or I studied him to learn the secret of his something, but all he was carr3'ing was success. I took in his technic with both a sheaf of music. Manifestly, from his eyes and left the hall determined to be important air and his smooth-shaven as- the world's greatest page-turner. surance, he was a virtuoso of some day, after years of practice, I species. He placed the music on the rack Some of the piano and after a moment of shall appear on the concert stage and earnest conversation with the pianist amaze and charm the onlookers with the took a seat at the right hand corner of ease and dispatch with which I flip over the piano. the sheets, as quick as lightning and as Suddenly they were off in full sonata. smooth as cream. I only hope I get my The violin burbled and twittered, the first concert engagement before all the pianist volleyed and thundered, and the good pianists have gone into radio broad- third man looked on serenely. All at once casting; because, if my artistry is to be this onlooker de-luxe was electrified into fully appreciated, the audience must see action. He sprang from his chair, reached me in action.

A Call

H. R. McNeely

Theme 13, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

SINCE I have been old enough to a crude, pointed structure, through a whittle a point on a stick of wood few years ago when I constructed a

and call it a boat, I have loved boats and model yacht, and even now, after build-

the water. From the time I first carved ing a full-sized sailboat, the water and all

— II- — 7l>

stories pertaining to boats have fasci- As a result of these experiences, my nated me. eagerness to learn more and to travel I have lived in a city on the Illinois farther led me to read books which por- River all my life. I have always liked to tray the experiences of men who have hike along the shore and watch the boats. fulfilled similar ambitions. One of the My worshipping eyes have seldom seen best of these is a book written by Captain the vast bodies of water which make the John Slocum while making a voyage Great Lakes and the oceans, but even the around the globe on a small yawl which very limited amount of time that has he constructed from a boat about forty been mine in which to enjoy these fasci- years old. This feat was accomplished

nating expanses has been enough to let alone. He did not have a shipmate dur- me know that I am greatly attracted to ing any part of his voyage. While read-

that vast, restless, evermoving, boundless ing this wonderful book, I lived with him

something that I am unable to name in his experiences as though I had been

that cannot be named. there with him. Even now I sit and For a few years, motor boats held my dream of taut sails and flying white interest. I constructed working models spray; of the long days and nights of

and drew plans for my ideal boat. I steady winds and clear skies; of his visits never liked a large vessel that required to many uninhabited islands and strange a crew; I much preferred a smaller type people; of his struggles in the mightiest that I —and perhaps one other—would be of gales in which immense vessels were able to handle. These vessels were always wrecked, but from which he emerged, of a type capable of traveling great always with unshakeable trust and faith distances without stopping for supplies. in his little yawl. Then, without warning, my desires swept Pictures, too, awaken my mental wan- aside all motor boats, and I caught my- dering. Every time I see a picture or a self dreaming of a sailboat. A friend drawing of a small sailing vessel, I'm

and I found ourselves in the same mood. carried away, as if by the sight of it I We discovered some old plans of a sail- could be swooped up by some hurricane boat that had been built more than thirty and placed on this very sloop, yawl, or

years ago and which had been very suc- schooner. Pictures fill my room ; sketches

cessful. The cost, as we estimated it, fill my books, sketches which have car-

was within our means : our ability we did ried me far away from a boring class on not doubt. We started early last summer some fantastic voyage.

to build the craft. By the middle of the What is it that makes me such a summer we had our "Lark" completed dreamer? Why do I dream of such a and had her launched. She was a small life? Was there, somewhere in my long boat—about sixteen feet long and five line of ancestors, a stout old mariner and one-half feet abeam. She carried one whose love for the sea has lain dormant

sail, the mainsail. In this boat I put in during these intervening years and has practice all the knowledge of sailing that finally been reincarnated in me? What- I had learned by reading and studying. ever the reason or cause may be, the fact Of course, we made mistakes in the con- remains that I am a genuine amateur

struction and we continued to make them sailor. Some day I will have a boat. in the sailing, but we gradually learned Then will I spend my hours in the realm and grew in experience. of Poseidon.

— 12- /7

A Rhapsody in Green

DONAN C. KiRLEY

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

suddenly awakened as if from a When the air had cleared sufficiently, I 1 dream, but surely I couldn't have found that all the chairs were occupied

been dreaming, not even sleeping, for I by masked figures, dressed entirely in

found myself walking down the corri- green, even to the shoes. As I watched, dors of University Hall. I marvelled at a gong sounded and each of the ma- the prevalent silence. Where was every- jestic figures rose in turn and filed by

one ? What was the urge that had caused the melting-pot and deposited into it a me to enter the building and now at- bundle of themes, muttering only these tracted me up the long flights of stairs? strange symbols, M4, MM4, B3, and the

I climbed step after step till I found hke. myself at the very top of the building, The fire glowed brighter, the vapor and directly in front of me was a huge thickened, the hum of the seething mass

green door. As I stood wondering why in the kettledrum grew louder. It re-

I had not seen it before, a low, mysteri- minded me of a tea kettle humming mer- ous voice said, "Enter Freshman," and rily on a hearth. I watched with inter-

I did. est as the figures returned to their chairs The door swung open, disclosing a and were seated. Suddenly the whole huge room, octangular in shape. All the aspect was changed: the cheerful hum of woodwork was green; the thick velvety the boiler turned to a slight hiss, the carpets, the satin drapes, the floor, the vapors became multi-colored to break ceiling were green. Soft green lamps the monotony of the green. I could see shed verdant rays from behind the drapes smiles of satisfaction under the masks showing a line of straight-backed chairs of my unknown companions. However around the wall of the room, the backs the hissing slowly receded, the colors

of which were mirrors reflecting emerald- faded from the steam, and it in turn dis- tinted images of everj-thing in the room, appeared itself. My senses were dulled by even myself. Green, green, green every- my strange surroundings and I was a bit

where. It brought to my mind a story at a loss to understand the procedure I I had once read. The Mask of the Red had just witnessed, but my head cleared

Death. Was I going to die ? In the center when the voice said, "Freshman, go, look of this chamber was a huge kettle, heated into the caldron, and tell me what you

by a fire, and emitting a vapor, all of see." A bit nervous and hesitant but curi- which were colored with the predomi- ous, I peered over its edges and saw lying

nant green. I stood agape, waiting to see in the bottom, twenty-one themes.

what would happen next, hoping for the I reported this to my unknown, unseen best. The same commanding voice bade interlocutor, who answered, "Know you, me be seated. The kettle boiled furiously that by the magic just performed by my

and I was blinded by the ensuing steam. assistants, these themes are deemed the

13- best of your class. Go you, and strive ously, the voice ceased, vapor clouded my that yours might be one of these thus eyes, and once again I found myself in chosen. Take care, however, that it is a familiar corridor in University Hall. I not lost from the caldron in the purple searched in vain for another glimpse of vapor of the comma fault, the orange of the green portal, and so after a fruitless the period fault, the poisonous vapors of search I wended my way home still won- spelling, or the others." I began to under- dering if it had been only a dream. stand the ceremony, and the meaning of On arriving at home I penned this, its different stages, and the voice con- which I swear is as definite an account tinued, "Avoid these if possible, but do of the matter as I am capable of giving. not fear them for they are pardonable, I have a suppressed desire that it will but never let it be known that a theme find its way to the Green Room. It may, of yours shall be lost through the cal- perchance, give cause to some colored dron's hiss, the hiss at plagiarism. We, vapors, but I assure you the kettle shall the Council of the Green, have spoken." but hum, and the hissing shall be but a At these words the kettle boiled vigor- memory to the Council.

A Foreigner's Attitude Toward America and Americans

J. Hazen Fletcher

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

{believe that it was Robert Burns who, How often our American ears would many, many years ago, said, "Oh, fairly burn if we could but know what would the Lord the giftie gie us, to see people of other lands really think of us ourselves as others see us, t'vvould from and of the things we consider really many a worry and blunder free us." Per- great. haps I have not quoted his words to the I had the good fortune, a few years letter, but how true these words are. ago, of making a short vacation trip into

14 — ^1

one of our foreign neighbor countries. guide also took me to see the greatest

And what a surprise I received ! For university in the world. He said that the some twenty odd years I had been living American universities did not compare in the blissful illusion that I was indeed in any way with those located in his fortunate to be a citizen of the great- country. While he was on the subject of est nation of the earth, living in telling me just what he thought of Amer- the midst of the most wonderful people ica, I learned from him that we had the

that civilization had ever produced. poorest government in the world. I

1 doubt that the thought had ever found also that all of the criminals lived entered my head that there was even in Chicago, Detroit, and other large such a thing as street cars in any cities American cities. The Americans were but our own, or any skyscraper, but those very haughty and "high hat" he let me of our wonderful metropolitan own know. In fact, by the time that I had cities. I had supposed, of course, that concluded my visit, I had reached the there were great universities in any no conclusion that there was only one thing land except the dear old U.S.A. Why, upon United States soil that he thought 1 just imagined that anyone was so who was of any value whatever. That was unfortunate as to live in any other part the good old American silver dollar, half of the globe got up in the morning and dollar, quarter, dime, nickel, and penny. went to bed at night, lamenting the fact And even then, one old lady from whom that he wasn't an American ! I made a purchase proceeded to bite the Just how tar this was from the actual dime that I had given to her. truth soon came home to me forcibly To sum it all up, we Americans are when I crossed the border into another crooked, selfish, egotistical, and really to land. Imagine my surprise ! They did be pitied. At least, my guide and others have street cars ! In fact, my guide very with whom I came into contact did their soon informed me that it was the greatest best to let me know that that was just street car system in the world, far sur- exactly they thought of us. passing that of American cities such as what And all the time, there kept running through New York or Chicago. I was also shortly informed that the tall buildings I saw my mind. Oh, would the Lord the giftie were much superior in construction and gie you, to see yourselves as others see beauty to those in the United States. My you!

Old Clothes

J. p. Jordan

Final Examination, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

SOME of the most cherished posses- reminder of the things which he used to sions of any man are his old clothes, do, and the only things that he can ever To him they are a symbol of freedom, a find when he needs them. They make

15 — him braver, stronger, and more com- send his letter by the earliest caravan. manding. Even his wife, who is usually Adam, although he was old, was very "the boss," trembles and does whatever crafty, and he immediately patented the

he commands when he first returns home idea. He sent out men to buy up all the from a fishing trip. old clothes—"rags," the women called The history of old clothes is very in- them—so he could sell them again as the teresting. It is generally conceded that newest thing in letter-writing. But this and Adam Eve were the discoverers of caused a shortage in materials for houses, these valuable articles. When the famous and the people threatened Adam if he couple were forced to leave the Garden didn't find a way to keep the families of Eden, they needed more clothes im- together. Adam concentrated for a long mediately. So Adam, being a gentleman, time, and at the county fair he made the obligingly killed two animals and had solution of the problem known. He said Eve make their clothes. But even furs to the people, "If we use for letters what

wear out ; so Adam was kept busy all we did use for homes, why not use for the time furnishing his family with homes what we did use for letters?" And clothes and other necessities. Meanwhile, so he discovered the wooden house, but all the furs that had been discarded for you must remember that old clothes led newer and more modern ones were to all of these and many other dis- heaped in a large pile. Adam, being part coveries. Scotch, hated to see all of these articles The preparation, uses, and properties go to waste, and so he built a tent for of old clothes must be merely mentioned. his children to play in and also keep them Old clothes are prepared by over-enthu- nearer home. He noticed that the tent siastic boys, careless men, and modern was much more comfortable than the is slow, and the cave, and after Eve had been convinced women. The process only catalysts known which will speed that it was cosy and was the "last word" in residences, the entire family moved up the reaction are barbed-wire fences, into the new structure. boards with nails, and cigarettes. Hard Everything went along fine for years, work is also a good agent, but it isn't but finally all the children left home, and used by the women. Old clothes have Adam and Eve were all alone. Both were many different properties. They are usu- old, very weak, and unable to do any ally ill-fitting and have numerous patches work. One day, Adam wanted Eve to and holes. They are used by men for go out and get him some wood, in order doing enjoyable things, and by the that he might carve a letter to his sons. women for doing detestable things. So

But Eve was too weak ; so she cut a skin when you name the most valuable dis- oflf the side of the tent, handed her hus- covery that has ever been made don't band a hot poker, and he was able to forget old clothes.

— 16 — "6^

Taking Notes

George F. Fritzinger

Final Exaviiuation, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

TAKING notes is an art. You have to and sometimes have plenty of time. You be a genius to take notes that are can get a reference book, take it to a readable. You have to be a stenographer table, and work at your own pace. As to take notes from a lecturer. You have soon as you get one note-card filled, a to be a librarian to keep them after you friend comes along and wants to share get them. In fact, you have to be a little the book. You argue with him until he of everything to be an expert note-taker. is content to take y^our notes and copy To take notes in a lecture room that from them. When you get them back has no desks is indeed a problem. You they are liable to be covered with ink can write on a book placed upon your blots or remainders of some candy bar. knees if you are an acrobat or wish to After you get the precious notes you become hunch-backed. Even in a room will probably want to use them, if they in which there are arm-desks you can are still readable. A small card file comes hardly write, because the co-ed next to in handy if you know how to use one. you insists that her coat must not get out You will probably have to buy one with a of shape. A person who wishes to be- lock on it, or 3'ou could buy a small safe. come a master of the art is wise if he or When you want to use the notes to write she will learn short-hand. If you know a theme or to study for a quiz, be sure short-hand you can follow any lecturer, that you have the window closed, or you except perhaps Floyd Gibbons. Also, if may spend the rest of the night sorting your notes are in short-hand, your very your notes. dear friends will probably not be able to At the end of the semester, if the notes read them, and therefore you may find are in good condition, you can auction them when you need them. them off. If there are no bidders they

Note-taking in the library is an entirely can be made into confetti, or used as different thing from taking notes in a lec- book-marks, souvenirs, or to start the ture room. You have plenty of room. fire.

— 17- The Art of Goat Milking

Jack E. Anderson

Expository Theme, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

HAVING spent many years of my journey into the mountains, and they most adventurous life among the should take advantage of every oppor-

misty and mysterious realms of numer- tunity to travel. The highest breed is de-

ous mountain ranges, I have, as a result, sired, because the higher the breed, the broadened my knowledge of mountain higher they live in the mountains, and life, and have advanced many of my one should aim to travel up into space as

theories which came as a consequence of well as out into it. When the actual milk- my extensive research. It has not only ing is begun, a radio will present itself to given me a thorough understanding of good advantage by keeping the goat in a the composition and decomposition of good humor. Since a goat can not swat

the various types of mountains, but it has flies as easily as a cow can, someone rendered me competent in several chores should be present with a fly-swatter. If of the rugged mountaineer. the goat objects to being swatted, every

That which I have practiced most per- effort should be made to capture the flies

sistently is goat-milking. At frequent in- before they find the goat. This is rather

tervals during my explorations, it was immaterial, however, because there are

necessar}' that I obtain food by other no flies in the mountains anyway. If, for

means than that of transporting it, be- some unknown reason, the goat should

cause it was impossible to carry extra become angered, and turn upon his in-

provisions. It was then that I had in my citer, no effort should be made by the company at least a half-dozen mountain latter to flee. Rather, he should very goats to insure myself against starvation. cheerfully allow the goat to butt him a

I immediately got the impression that few times, and in most instances the the goat was a very friendly animal, and goat's rage will be subdued to such an

a very desirable companion, but when it extent, that he will lie down and go to

came to the problem of milking it, I soon sleep. Of course, if one is so charged by learned that one must be as considerate a goat that doesn't seem to be that kind

as possible towards it, lest he be con- of a goat, he might do well to climb the fronted with the task of learning how to nearest tree, and if the goat happens to

climb trees. Since I have found this goat- be the kind that can climb trees, one, by milking to be a very tedious and perplex- all means, should not climb the same tree

ing process, it is best that those desiring the goat does. Of course, if the goat per- to become adept goat-milkers adhere sists upon climbing the same tree as does

closely to the rules laid forth by one who the person whom he is pursuing, one is experienced. should try to sing songs to the goat, or Beginners should practice with only employ any similar means that will so the highest breed of mountain goat, be- move the animal's emotions that he will cause this will require their making a be in no mood to fight. As to the method

18 — of obtaining and drinking the milk, it is and in each case they make a name for practically identical to that in the case of themselves. So if one can not co-operate the cow, only in the former instance, one with the goat, he should just remember does not have to sit upon a stool. that if he will exchange a few harsh One should not be discouraged if he words with the goat before he abandons fails to make a success of this venture, the idea entirely, in all probability, the because he must remember that people goat will give him a name he will never are all born for the various professions. forget.

Fireside Spectres

F. G. Feltham

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

KEEPERS of all hours we are in this down as we see fit, and walk over to the twentieth century. That is, those of fireplace— for fireplaces are still extant us who see no merit in adhering to a —to warm our hands in the welcome, stringent Franklinian code of action. And friendly blaze. It is restful to be alone, so, it is not surprising that we are to be away from all disturbing noises—rau- found at this late hour. We have just cous voices or idle and trivial patterings. arrived home from a tiring and intermin- Outside all is still, with an unfathomable, able evening of bridge, or a dance and formless silence that bursts in upon us late dinner, or a tryst with a captivating like a concurrence of shrill, voiceless inamorata from whom we did not wish screams. Somewhere, we know not to part. And we are tired, almost to re- where, there is a something, we know not gretting the hours wasted in social inter- what, waiting for something to happen. course. Cold, too, for Winter is almost A few gaunt elms, with bare limbs on, and though there is no snow mantling stretched beseechingly toward heaven,

the ground, the air is biting, the walks are visible through the frosted pane. A and windowpanes are covered with frost, few, weak, meagre rays of silver are and the muddy puddles in the roadways spared by a sickly moon.

are rimmed with ice. Within all is still, too, save for the

But our room is cosy. We take off our logs in the grate as they spit and crackle wraps, and hang them up or throw them in fierce defiance of their cremation, and

19- !

an occasionally muffled thump as the passions and fears that moved us as house moves on its aching timbers. children. We are quite aware that we ought to And now the imagery becomes almost be in bed. We will be there—after we grotesque, bizarre to the point of ab- have sat for a short while in reposeful surdity—though nothing seems absurd. contemplation before the open fire. The Our semi-conscious thoughts impinge heat envelops and caresses our bodies. themselves upon our subconscious Slowly we become slaves to an age-old thoughts. Gradually our eyelids close fascination, a fascination which stirs down. Faintly, faintly on the heavy air within us a tumult of emotions and comes the solemn, wavering ululation of arouses dim, atavistic desires for a soli- a distant locomotive ; it blends into and tude which, with a poignant sense of becomes a part of our drowsiness. The frustration, we know can never be wholly flames leap and pulsate, advance and re- ours. We pay mute homage. We sink treat, against a nebulous background of into a mental and physical suspension. hallucination. New eidolons subvert the

It is not night; it is not morning; the old. History, mythology — characters time is indefinable. We are not in the from our literary forays—push back, dis- present ; we are vaguely between the past perse the palpable spectres we had and the future, thinking in terms of the dragged from their graves of years. Cen- past and in terms of the future—though turies and millenniums are traversed in a held more by the past. Our flux of few, fleeting seconds. DeQuincy smiles chaotic thought, of troubled illusion, is in his opium dream. Voltaire leers sar- subject to no norm of mathematical pre- donically as he records the caprices of cision. We are alone in the world. We human nature. Nelson falls again to the alone are animate. We are worlds in slippery blood-soaked deck of the "Vic- ourselves. The walls of the room close tory" crying, in his supererogation, in and become our orbit. The lambent "Thank God I have done my duty!" Na- flames throw long, writhing fingers of poleon gloomily relives his gloomy Wat- evil on the cold and distant ceiling over erloo, sees his shattered hopes tumble be- us. The trembling shadows have no fore him in mocking ruins. Caesar ex- beauty, and are repellent, but they catch pires groaning, "Et tii Brutef" The tru- momentarily our glances. culent Achilles once more battles the des- Phantoms of other days pass before us perate Hector before the walls of Troy. in quiet panorama. Yesterday is at our And Orpheus again wanders from fingertips, at our beck and call. There Hades, alone and disconsolate, sadly call- is Jack ! There is Jim ! There is Margaret ing to his lost Eurydice. They have not changed. The years have But the fire has smouldered low, and taken no toll of them. Faint in the dis- we are awakened by the cold, no longer torted light of retrospection they are yet warmed by our nocturnal visitants. Van- as we knew them eons ago. We clasp ished our dreams. Gone our feeling of hands. We renew old friendships ; re- suspension. We are no longer self-sufifi- live the old, careless hours when life, cient universes: we are but pitiable, in- fraught with no disquieting significances, finitesimal parts of universes. Some- stretched meaningless and endless ahead where a clock chimes its inevitable of us; fight our fights over again; suffer awakening tocsin. .Somewhere, we are the same defeats ; are moved by the same assured, others are up and stirring. A

-20- 8^7

faint auroral flush stirs the darkness. so-called verities of life. The present

Away with illusions ! The daylight will with its practical and tangible figures not support them ! Back to realities—the looms up sharply, is once more with us.

Modeling

Ruth G. McClain

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

BEAUTIFUL clothes, curving stairs, find—not the "salon" of my dreams, but an artistically furnished salon, lovely instead, a long, rather ugly room, car- girls walking, pirouetting gracefully be- peted in blue, with high, uncurtained fore well-groomed society women—such windows across two sides, and racks of was the idea of modeling that motion- dresses everywhere. After a brief inter- pictures and a vivid imagination had view with M. de Jardin, wherein I lied painted for me. Therefore my excite- bravely but, I fear, not very convincing- ment knew no bounds when, because of ly, I was ushered, by a sullen, colored the kindly recommendation of a friend maid, into an adjoining room. A dress, who, I confess, had greatly exaggerated lovely in texture and design, was handed my experience and ability, I received a to me, and, as I slipped it over my head, call from a well-known dress establish- my self-confidence returned. I again ment to appear ready for work at ten practiced m}' sedate step before the mir- o'clock the following morning. At last ror, and, like a prima donna poised to my dreams were to be realized: I was to greet her public, I emerged from the sweep majestically down the curving doorway and walked slowly, and, as I stairs, the dress I wore the center of thought in the best "model" manner, admiring eyes. So I practiced a sedate across the room. step before a full length mirror until far Expecting to find approval and admi- into the night. ration written on my interviewer's face, At a quarter to ten the next morning I was deeply hurt to discover that he

I approached, somewhat timidly, the was smiling, not in admiration but in "mecca" of my dreams. The outside of complete amusement. Worse, the smile the building was, at best, discouraging, turned into a grin, and then into a hearty but summoning my courage I entered the laugh. I, somewhat dejected, stood still somewhat dingy foyer, climbed innum- and then in sudden anger rushed from erable stairs, and arrived at the door, the room. But I was hired ! I was hired whose plate glass proclaimed, "Henri de not because I could model but because Jardin: Distinctive Dinner Dresses." A the "buyers" were to arrive at any mo- hasty dab of powder, and I entered to ment; in the next few minutes I was

— 21 — coached until I could walk naturally and the day was over I had worn those same briskly. Then, the "buyers" began to twenty dresses five or six times each. My arrive in twos and threes—hard, calcu- head and bones ached; I no sooner ar- lating men and women. They did not rived home than I fell asleep to dream notice the model, but took in every de- of scintillating satin and rustling taffeta, tail of each dress. In the next hour I only to awake to realities—namely, tired wore some twenty dresses, and before muscles and throbbing feet.

Jose Pardo

Ernesto del Risco

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

JOSE PARDO was a queer man. He On a certain occasion he went to work was bold, ironical, and shrewd. In- in a large plantation in Argentine, and difference and forget fulness constituted as Jose was rather good looking and had the basis of his temperament. Nothing a pleasant personality, the owner of the was important for him, and he would plantation offered him his daughter's always forget everything. hand in marriage. Jose, who liked the He had spent nearly all his money in free life at the plantation, accepted and his journeys through South America and was about to be married, when he began Mexico, as a newspaper man in one town, to get homesick for his little town in the as a merchant in another, here selling mountains. cattle, there selling wine. He was one As it was not his custom to give long of those men who accept everything explanations, one morning at daybreak without protesting, and who fail in he told the father of his fiancee that he life because of their indifference and was going to Buenos Aires to buy a wed- inertia. ding present. He mounted his horse, and He was a dreamer. It was enough for when he reached the capital, he got on him to look at the running water, at a the train, and bidding farewell to the cloud or at a star, to forget the most im- beautiful pampas and to the hospitable portant plans of his life, and to leave his land of the "gauchos" he started on his most important task undone. way to Peru.

— 22 — !

"The Rivet in Grandfather's Neck"

Nettie Fine

Impromptu—Assigned Title, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

HE was the leanest, lankiest grand- Granddaddy's emotion was his neck. We father I had ever seen. As he sat could see a storm brewing or a storm in his old arm-chair, or moodily slammed subsiding by looking closely. I think he newspapers to the living room rug, he realized this, for he would always tap looked like an elongated question mark. his cane and order me away whenever I A good many years before, he had would stare, fascinated. come to live with us, and was a per- If he was especially pleased, he wore manent fixture as far back as I could the most bitter expression and swallowed remember. very slowly, once, and twice. At times Grandfather's head drooped on a very like this, the rivet in grandfather's neck lean neck, so that his body and head were almost fell out. riveted together by an outstanding There was the time Sister Sue married Adam's apple. The venerable old man John. Granddaddy was very pleased, but was very self-conscious about it, and al- hated to show it. He tried manfully to ways vk^ore heavy scarfs to conceal this overcome those two "swallows," but was peculiarity. conquered by them. Laughingly, we His head always bobbed in the fiercest gathered around him and watched the way and his neck contracted when his struggle. When he lost. Sue came over word was doubted or his never dormant and kissed him. anger aroused. I shall not forget the But the e.xpression on Grandfather's time I argued with him, and mother cau- face was very bitter, and the rivet in tiously murmured, "The Rivet ! Careful Grandfather's neck very prominent, as !" for the Rivet he snatched his scarf and wrapped it From that time on, the barometer to around him.

My Own B^awmont and, Fletcher

H. Dahlke

Impromptu theme—After reading Lamb's "Old China," Rhetoric I, 1931-32

T TOW I did admire those German uni- possessed a magnetic influence. Often I ^ ' versity students who sauntered down would sneak up behind some students the streets twirling a cane in their hands who were talking with one another and

To me, although I was only eleven years look at their sticks. Some were natural

old and a recent arrival from America canes ; others were artificial ones, but all to that quaint town of Jena, the canes carved and polished in a most wonderful

— 23 — ! ; ft)

manner. In my imagination I often swag- took it and then went for a walk. My

gered down the street with a cane in my mouth watered when I saw my brothers

hand. One day as I passed a woodwork- munch on candy bars. I held steadfast

er's shop, I saw a beautiful walking-stick I wanted the cane. Absolutely no pleas-

hanging in the window. A ram's head ure did I allow myself. For a stimulus in was carved at the handle, beneath which my efforts to gain the cane, I would look

were leaves of a vine curling around the at it every day, and thus kept up my in- cane and encircling the ram's head. Many terest. Nobody knew what I was going mysterious and peculiar designs were to do with the money, and suspicions carved on its length. Oh, it was a won- were being aroused in my mother. If after I the derful cane. Day day passed I could only stave her, as well as my

it. Finally, I shop and paused to admire brothers, off, and then bring the cane into the plucked up my courage, walked to them, and show the prize which I shop, and asked, "How much does the had acquired is hanging in the window cane which Finally, having the eight marks, I cost?" "Eight marks," answered the rushed into the town to get the cane. I woodworker. I turned and walked out ran as fast as I could ; I tore down the

quickly ; as I closed the door, I heard the narrow and crooked old streets ; I shop-keeper laugh. That laugh humiliated bumped into people ; and I barely escaped me. But—eight marks, and I had only the passing automobiles as I whizzed two in my pocket. Looking at the cane, across the streets. Around the next cor- I made up my mind to have it. ner was the shop. I whirled around, and, Upon my arrival home, I announced there, the cane was not hanging in the to my surprised mother that if she would window anymore. A student stepped out increase my weekly allowance I would be of the shop with my cane—the cane that a good boy, and that if she would rightfully belonged to me. My whole increase my allowance still further I world collapsed ; I had failed, and tears would do the household chores—things of disappointment rose in my eyes. The that were highly distasteful to me. How world was unjust. I firmly resolved to be my brothers chuckled when they heard an enemy of all university students. They that I was going to be the model boy! were all alike; all they could do was to Shades of Tantalus ! his tortures were make little boys miserable, for that one mild when compared to the trials I went who bought my cane had no right to do through. My brothers certainly had a Instead of drinking my grief down well-developed plan to frustrate my at- so. would, I ate it down with tempts. The cane, however, was continu- as an adult candy. In a short time I tottered weakly ally before my eyes, and I endured their condition, I measly and petty pranks as any stolid homeward. In a semi-dazed Apache Indian would endure the tortures heard my mother say as I opened the of his captors. Slowly my mone}' began door and tumbled in, "Why Henry, what "Call the to increase; now, I had four marks. If is the matter with you!" then, I was oflfered money to go to a show, I doctor. Quick!"

-24 — ^/

The Swimming Hole

Helen Westerman

Imj^roinfta Tlicnic—Rhetoric I, 1931-32

BY no stretch of the imagination could gymnasium bloomers, some in cut-out my old place for swimming be called coveralls, and some even in union suits. a pool — it was a hole and nothing more. It was comical to see someone floating In some wide bend of the creek in the along on the water with his clothes bal- woods we would find a place where our looning above him like sails. knees did not scrape bottom as we dog- Perhaps in reminiscence I magnify the

paddled about ; this became our swim- fun we had, but I do not believe so. We ming-hole for that summer. Since then splashed about on water wings and rub-

I have learned all the geological reasons ber tires and boards, and swallowed gal- for the water being deeper on the convex lons of water and germs ; but we had the side of a stream meander, but at that best times of our lives in that old swim- time we were glad to find any hole deep ming hole. We had to use persuasion enough to swim in. We would construct and bribery on our mothers to take us some sort of an insecure spring board on there, but we managed to go at least once the bank or just swing out on some over- a day. hanging willows and drop into the water. As I look back, however, I see one There was always a small sandy beach to dark spot on this memory—Aunt Jane. play upon and old logs to use for canoes. Aunt Jane (who could ask a more typi- The water was dirty and full of debris, cal name?) had a very queer idea of especially after rains, but we seldom what constituted an afternoon's swim. were kept from our daily plunge by any- She would take us to the creek, allow thing as insignificant as the increased va- us to swim for ten minutes, scrub us riety of ingredients in the water. with soap and a brush for fifteen min-

One thing I shall alwa3's remember is utes, tell us to wash the soap ofif, and the great variety of bathing costumes then insist upon going home. We seldom worn. The bathers ranged from the ages asked Aunt Jane to take us swimming. of four to sixteen and the costumes had I would probably be very much a comparatively wide range of individu- shocked if any child of mine should want ality. A few fortunate swimmers wore to swim in as dangerous and dirty a place regular suits but these were usually the as the old creek, for there were quick- reward of learning to swim. Some came sands and whirlpools, but I am glad that in old dresses, some in overalls, some in I once had the opportunity.

25 — — !

Crowding the Hero Bench

Evelyn Nelson

Theme 14, Rhetoric II. 1929-30

Iwas a sophomore in high school and lloating that day as much as I had previ- had entered a beginning swimming ously. class. I had always felt that some day I The geometry class seemed extremely

would meet death by drowning, and I short that day, and the class in English was determined to overcome the fear was even shorter. It was four o'clock that seemed to grip my soul when I came Shucks, there was nothing to be afraid near a large body of water. The class of—at least I wouldn't pretend to them had met for three weeks, and I began that I was scared—besides they were all

to feel proud because I was not afraid good swimmers. to walk in water up to my shoulders I dressed, or rather undressed, and

yes, I was really brave ! The first funda- went to the pool. There were five seniors mentals of swimming had been given to taking the test. I had met the girls be-

us, and I had learned to float on my back. fore. The}- thought it was so nice of me It was on the first Wednesday in Octo- to let them practice on me. Practice? I ber—a day I will never forget—that the thought they knew everything about teacher announced that the advanced swimming and that this w'as a test, not a swimming class was holding a life saving practice. test after school, and the teacher thought The test began and the first girl tool< that probably one of the beginners would me across the length of the pool with volunteer to act as the rescued person. her hands at my waist. The instructions "It would be so much better for the other were to lie perfectly still and I complied.

girls if we really had a girl who couldn't Out of the corner of my eye I saw the swim," said the teacher. fifteen foot mark, and a dull, sinking All was quiet, save for the lapping sensation came over me. I shut my eyes sound of the water against the side of for a moment, and I imagined I knew of Arc must have felt. the pool. We looked at each other ; we just how Joan were all alike in one respect—cowards The second trip started. The senior held

when it came to deep water. After a me by the chin, and with a side stroke long pause a weak voice said, "I'll volun- proceeded to cross the pool. It happened

I it her slipped teer." It was my voice ! I wondered what before realized — hand had prompted me to defy my fear for and she pushed my face into the water.

that moment. I shook as I looked toward I was terrorized ! My eyes caught the

the deep end of the pool— it was there number fifteen ! It was deep ! She had

that the life saving test would take place. let go ! My time had come ! I splashed My eyes shifted to the side—the mark- madly about, waving my arms wildly. girl w-ater tried read fifteen—fifteen feet, horrors ! that The dived under the and was three times my height. I shivered to bring me up from underneath. I made and somehow I didn't enjoy my lesson in one grab for her neck and hung fast. She

-26- 7 :i

tried to loosen my hold but it was frozen, me. I wouldn't die after all —she was the and with a desperate kick she pried her- teacher— I was going down for the third self loose and swam toward the edge. time.

Someone was shouting, "Float, Evelyn, Someone was asking me how I felt. float!" Float? What was floating? Who They were pumping what seemed to be was floating? Where had I heard the gallons and gallons of water out of me, word "float" before ? Couldn't they see I but I was sure it would take days. I was drowning? My eyes were full of thought of only two things—they had

water, my mouth was full of water, and not let me drown, and I would never my stomach was full of water too. Then volunteer to play the hero act again.

I remembered that someone had told me The next day the school paper came that one never comes up after the third out with an article entitled, "Water in

time. I had gone down twice, and I knew, the swimming pool is lowered two inches

I just knew they would let me drown. as sophomore quenches thirst." No one My eyes were hazy but I caught the sight knows, or ever will know, what I paid of the teacher making a running dive for for such publicity.

My Playhouse

Velma a. Denny

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

THERE are playhouses and play- able "I wonder what this generation is houses. Some of them are of the coming to" behind the backs of their six-

finest wood and design, while others year-olds ? exist for the most part in the minds of But my parents never had to stretch their owners. The houses built from the their imagination in looking at my play-

imagination are sources of wonder to the house, for it was a barn! Yes, even if

parents who just cannot see the roofs my middle name is Alice (a name which and walls which their offspring abso- should only be applied to delicate, doll-

lutely know are there. Is it any wonder loving little girls), I spent my happiest

that parents start muttering that inevit- davs in our old red barn. I shall never

-27- ! !

forget how thrilled I was as I whizzed Then, too, how could I ever forget the down the best sliding board of all—the oats granary! If you have never lain in hay mound. I knew perfectly well that a cool bed of oats and poured the trick- Dad would never have permitted me to ling, slick grains between your bare toes, do it if he had known. But that enchant- you cannot understand this enticing part ing and peculiar ticklish feeling which of my playhouse. Why, I almost learned came to me just before I finished my to swim in the granary! No one could slide quite overcame my fear of Dad's have made me believe that that pile of anger grain was not the largest ocean in the The hay was also another enjoyment world for me. The cows many times had Then, I will confess my greatest thrill sneaked into the barn when some one had of all (and the most embarrassing one, forgotten to shut the door. They had too). I used to stand on our old, rusty started immense tunnels through the corn planter, which was a glorious Ro- sides of the hay. This maze of tunnels man chariot to me. With the f razzly, old became a mythical and romantic laby- buggy whip I would furiously beat the rinth for me. How much courage it took imagined horses. Then, in keeping with to make myself crawl into that intense, the chariot race atmosphere, the squawks smothering darkness ! I was always fas- of the chickens, frightened by my mad cinated by those tunnels, and the sweat ravings, seemed to be the applause of the stood out on my forehead as I thought spectators in the arena ! how awful it would be if that hay should So all of these things formed my child- cave in upon me ! But that Marco-Polo, hood playhouse. And, although you may just-conquered-the-world feeling which not believe it, I have lived through it and came to me as I crawled out quite repaid I shall always say that I am glad that me for my fears. my playhouse was the old red barn.

-28- ! ! f^

Reflections in the Coal Room

]\Iarvine Dover

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

BEING locked in the coal room, with of the mystery story which I had just nobody home, is not a laughable situ- started. Time dragged on. From four ation. Even now, when that incident is o'clock until six o'clock I sat on that coal brought up in my presence, I blush, hang pile and thought. I did not think frivo- my head sheepishh', and quickly change lous thoughts; I thought out great plans the subject. by wliich I could get back to comfort and One Sunday, because my parents had civilization again. However, every plan left for the day, I had the duty of caring seemed to have a flaw in it. When I tried for furnace. I the Although had been to crawl out by the window, I found that twice and had put in several shov- down it had been boarded up for the winter. els of coal, at four o'clock house the When I tried to dig myself out with the chill}'. I to the seemed Whenever went coal shovel, the coal only rolled back with basement I was frightened, and, since I more energv' than I could shovel it. I was all alone, this time the trip was more gave up. I would die there, and when distasteful than ever. I hastily unlocked my body was finally dug out, I would be the door, turned on the light, and started, praised as a martyr by everyone. With with much reluctance, down the steps. these morbid thoughts in mind, I began When I reached the bottom one, I looked idly to pick up the coal and to throw it all around to be sure no one was hiding over my shoulder. After several minutes, in the dark corners. When I was sure I noticed that the coal was staying be- that I was alone, I ventured into the hind me; it did not roll back as before. furnace room, grabbed the shovel, and With this theory in mind, I started to in two seconds was in the coal room. A work. At six-thirty I had a small space little path had been cut into the coal cleared in front of the door. At seven which had been put in just a week be- o'clock I opened the door and actually fore. I went to the end of this and ran upstairs. When I reached the stair- started shoveling. Coal started rolling way to the second floor, I looked at my- on both sides of me, and, before I re- self in the hall mirror. Shoveling coal alized what was happening, the door was with my bare hands had not improved securely blockaded by three or four tons my appearance. My hands and arms of dirty, black coal were black, my face was streaked with Reflection is a mild word to describe coal dust, and I even tasted coal for a the thoughts which raced through my Vv^eek mind as I realized the situation in which

I had been placed. With much repug- After I had cleaned up, I sat down to nance I seated myself on a large lump of think about my strange imprisonment. I coal. I thought of all the pleasant things realized at last the real reason why I had I could be doing—of the radio upstairs, escaped. It was not by hurrying and

-29- 7^ ;

frantically trying to shovel the coal out then I have been inclined to be too hasty,

of the way. I had gained my freedom but I always stop and remember that

by slowly placing each piece of coal in a afternoon in the coal room before I do firm, stable position. Several times since anything without thinking.

Incident at Sea

James Piielan

Rhetoric II, 1930-31

TWO seamen loitered aft on the no willing it on your part. I know. I schooner, talking. stood in your shoes forty—no, forty-two "Where you sailin' from, lad?" years ago, almost to the month. At New

"Boston. First voyage off the coast." Bedford it was, when whalers went out "Mmmm." The old man bit down for four years, a year to Greenland and upon his pipe reflectively, and was silent then around the Cape to the north Pa- for a minute. "Thinkin* of stickin' to cific with never a stop at home port. The

it? I mean for a trade, sort of?" whaler I shipped on is rotting on the bot-

"I dunno, sir. The sea seems to be a tom now, I guess, but here I am smelling splendid thing, always alive and moving the salt winds and heading down ag'inst

never a time when it's dull, like the land. the Gulf Stream again." And I have no ties. No home folks, I The boy looked at him with a trace of mean." questioning in his eyes. "You talk as

The old sailor shifted his position to though you might be regretting it, sir.

guard his pipe bowl from the quartering I envy you." wind that flapped through the pennants. The man hemmed disparagingly in his "It's the sea then for you, my boy, and throat, and made as if to speak, but re-

— 30 — ^?

niaineci silent a while. Then after a tons of them, whisperin' within three pause he replied slowh-, "There's some- feet of your head, luring you, like them thin' in the sea that — challenges you. women in foreign ports. But she's pati-

Devil sea, the old sailors call it, but you ent, the sea is, like no woman, and '11 don't see it that wa}' now, of course. wait thirt}' or forty years for you, and After forty )-ears, like me, you begin to never complain. Long as I've beat her,

feel that life comes down to just a pri- I'm still watching myself during a dark vate battle between you and the waters night, when there's a wet deck under me. of the world, as the Bible calls it, with It's a hard life, son, and a cold, cold hands olT to everyone else. You go for death." days at a time on friendly speaking They stood silently looking over the terms with each other, you whistlin' rail, and the old man took his pipe from some tune under your breath, and the sea his mouth and pointed the stem down as calm as a valley pond, and then one at the wake. He grinned. "Show your night she begins growlin', and snakes a teeth, you old ; you won't get wet arm at you out of a heavin' storm. me." Then he knocked the coals from And always at night, when you're layin' his pipe against the rail. They hissed as in your bunk, you can hear the waters, they fell into the sea.

— 31 —

T-HtCKtEN CALDKON

VOLUME 1 May 1932 NUMBER 4

THE GREEN CALDRON

Ma-^ 1932

CONTENTS

The Forceful Mr. Pierce—Jerome Nelson 3 On a Dog—Edward Dudsinski 4

A Fourth of July—Mary Catharine Stoner S

Harvest with a Combine—Robert D. Jones 6

Violent Emotions—George A. Johnson 9

Cause and Effect—Nettie Fine 10

Why I Don't Like Cactus—Leila Nendell 11

The End of the Narcissus— \V. S. Eisfelder 12

To A Prospective Duck Hunter—G. C. Sharp 13

Air Minded—Beeklcy J^Iiller 16

The White Angel Jungle—Elden F. Miller 18

The Popularity of Jazz—James L. Rainey 19 A Consoling Crumb for Eve—James Phelan 20 A Gener.\l Education for a

Specific Career—Florence I. Adams 21

Textbook: World—Owen Reamer 23 Esperanto—M. A. McQuozan 25

There Ought to Be a Law—Helen IVcstcrman 30

published by the rhetoric staff university of illinois URBANA

VOLUME I NUMBER 4 /oo /O/

The Forceful Mr. Pierce

Jerome Nelson

Theme 13, Rhetoric 2, 1930-31

<<\/UP, my boy, I ain't never had any "And then the next year the big barn * luck but bad luck." burnt down."

It was five minutes to five o'clock, and "Didn't you have insurance?" I asked.

Mr. Pierce and I, lost to the sight of the "That's the funny thing, yuh know," foreman, lingered among the stock boxes he gasped. "The insurance ran out just which were filled with small steel cast- a week before and there weren't any ings. He was terribly dirty. His shoes chance to git to town to renew it." were heavy and worn over at the heels. I sighed a sympathetic "Oh," but well

His overalls, covered with a coating of 1 knew that if he had had a hundred machine oil and fine steel filings, pulled ways of getting to town he wouldn't have on his frail shoulders. The blue shirt had the policy renewed. that he wore was soaked with sour- "Yuh know when wheat went down smelling sweat, for the day had been last year so much, I couldn't keep goin' beastly hot. As I hastily glanced at his and had to git out," he added mournfully. face (I could hardly bear to look at it), "But did I go into bankruptcy? No! I I could think only of a chicken. The didn't. Yuh know most men would 'ave cords in his neck bulged out as he spoke, done that to git out of paying their bills. !" much as do the windpipes on the neck of I'm goin' to pay everyone of them back a featherless hen. The day's growth of This sudden spark of life and determi- beard, clogged with sticky dirt, gave his nation startled me, but it wasn't long face a ghastly look. His narrow, short before I could see that he was just talk- chin, and his Hebrew nose brought out ing. That's all he could ever do. the hen appearance to perfection. And "If it wasn't for my wife, I don't his small, wild, ignorant eyes searched think I could 'ave stood it," asserted the me for pity, which I found it difficult to poor man with a jerk of his knobby head. give. "She's a good woman. Yuh know, she

"I had a nice little farm near Elburn supported the family when I was lying useless a few years ago," he continued in his on my back with rheumatism last winter." chattering, squeaky voice. "The first year

Poor woman ! I felt much sorrier for I got pneumonia, yuh know, and it took her than I did for him. Love is a queer all of the year's harvest to pay the doc- thing if one could be firmly attached to tor." such a helpless creature. The bell rang He clapped his toothless jaws together and I tore out to the time clock, leaving and stared at me, expecting sympathy. Mr. Pierce to fight his way alone I did feel sorry for him, but one could through the rapidly increasing mob of see in a glance that he was always ill. tired workingmen. I would have been In fact, I doubted whether he hatl had willing to wager money that he was the pneumonia. last to "punch out."

— 3- — / u *<.

On a Dog

Edward Dudzinski

Theme 3, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

iiy^Ah" came to me when I was just fragrant flowers, or in cool, shaded 1 entering the glorious age of boy- woods where shafts of sunlight, striking

hood. I remember him now—a roly-poly through the dense green foliage of the puppy he was, all feet and ears, and trees, lent an air of enchantment to the possessed of the most inquisitive nose I surroundings. Often I sat and rested,

ever saw. I recall that first day clearly but "Pal" was continuously on the move.

how I fondled him and played with him He ran and barked and jumped every all day long, and how, at bedtime, I foot of the way. He chased unceasingly loathed to bring him down stairs to his after butterflies. Once he pursued a bee

temporary home in the basement. There and sniffed it curiously when it alighted

he whined and whimpered till I finally on a flower. The next instant the inevit- stole downstairs again, after all the house able happened, and "Pal" bounded away was dark, and brought him to bed with yelping and shaking his head. Several me. yards away he sat down and energeti- That was the beginning of the count- cally pawed his nose. He chased no more less joyful summer days which followed. "buzzing butterflies" that day. "Pal" grew rapidly those first weeks, and Thus we grew up together. But soon his energ}' kept pace with his growth. the J03'0us years of my boyhood were The amount of mischief into which he over and I turned to more serious pur-

could get in an hour was inconceivable. suits. I no longer had time to rove the If he was not digging up the flower beds, countryside with "Pal." However, he was he was pulling sheets off the clothes line. losing the friskiness of his 3'outh and If he was not chewing a brand new shoe, was well content to abandon our early he was upsetting flower pots. Stockings pleasures for hours of silent companion- could never be found in pairs. He got ship while I studied. When I was ab- into even" conceivable nook and corner sorbed in my studies until late at night, with his inquisitive nose. He was ir- "Pal" could always be found stretched repressibly full of life. He even had the out on the floor beside my chair. When

effrontery, one day, to bark imprudently I sat reading, he lay at my feet dozing.

at a grown dog four times his siz.e. But So time flew, as time has a habit of he prudenth- went no further than the doing, and I was soon a student at Illi- barking stage. nois. Needless to say, one of the things

Rapidly, "Pal" grew to young dog- I missed most, during the first few hood. We were now inseparable. Every- weeks, was "Pal." And as distance makes where I went, he was bound to follow frequent trips home inadvisable, I grew me like the historic Mar3''s lamb. Roving to miss him more and more. When I through fields and wood became one of went home for Christmas vacation the our favorite sports. Long hours we spent first one to greet me was "Pal"'—an old in spreading fields of green grass and and grizzled "Pal." The muscles that

-4 — /OJ

were once like steel strangely seemed to ing at me mournfully out of sad, dulled have lost their elasticity. The shaggy eyes. hide pierced by honorable scars of bat- The chimes slowly toll midnight. tle was dull and lifeless. Good old Somehow I feel strange and foreign to

"Pal!" myself. All I can do is stare dully out

When my all-too-short vacation was into the silvery night. My room is quite over, and I made preparations to leave, dark and deathly still. On the table, at he followed me around on his stiffened my elbow, lies a half-read letter. "Pal" legs. The last I saw of him he was gaz- is dead.

A Fourth of July

Mary Catharine Stoner

Theme 14, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

WE looked forward to our annual leap up, forming an upper lip of some Fourth-of-July party on Lake gigantic sea monster, and closing, would Michigan from one year to the ne.xt. But suck in white caps as its prey, again on one particular morning I awoke to leaving the lake one mass of fury. The learn that the rain fell in torrents, wind roar was deafening—the atmosphere ter- and sand blew every direction—our plans rifying. were smashed. . . . Suddenly I heard a siren scream and,

Climbing to the top of the dune which turning quickly to my right, I saw a protected our cottage against the cruel white streak shoot behind the dune which winds from the lake, I saw a startling lay between me and another beach some sight. The beach was lonely and empty few hundred feet away. My heart save for one or two life-guards stationed jumped to my mouth and a heavy lump here and there. The lake was one mass settled in the pit of my stomach. What of silver—the wrong kind of silver. To should I do? Stay here and be eaten me it looked like one continuous white with terror and curiosity or go there cap. Once in awhile a great wave would and see the results of a disaster, because

— 5 — /OH ! !: !

I knew that was what it was—a disaster. What I saw so completely unstrung Before I clearly decided I was running me that I felt faint. At first two—no, fast and excitedly to the scene. Running three—oh God— four of them! Can't we down the steep side of the dune I crossed do anything— anything. Only a few feet the road leading to our beach, ran across out—so near—so far. Now the life- front yards of other cottages and up the guards were motioning to the group. long sloping side of the other dune. My Each man seemed to know what to do.

feet seemed to sink down and down in Horrified — terrified — I watched them

the sand as I frantically made my way walk into the lake to form a human

upward. Would I ever reach the top chain. . . . Completely winded from the fast climb After an hour of struggling one was and from anticipation, I stumbled to the saved. I left— I could stand no more. top and started down again. Already I Frozen with terror and grief I walked saw a small group of men and women, home — stunned into silence by this and against the dark background of sky tragedy. Three times later that day the and water was the ambulance screaming ambulance rushed to the beach

As I neared the group I saw three life- to carrj' away another victim of the lake. guards working madly and furiously with What a form of celebration

ropes ; no words seemed to be spoken For three days I stayed away from the

only time was being considered now. lake, for three days I suffered halluci- Spying my uncle I ran to him and nations—always those four heads clutched his arm. "Look out there," he and eight hands, clutching, grasping, bob-

shouted. bing. . . .

Harvest with a Combine

Robert D. Jones

Theme 7, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

MOTHER is calling, "Six o'clock!" When we arrive at the farm, we find I hurry out of bed, wash, throw on the activities at their height. The morn- my clothes, and snatch a hasty breakfast. ing chores have just been finished and

It is a bright, warm July morning, still most of the horses are harnessed. Al- early enough for the trees to cast long ready two teams are hitched up and shadows on the cool, shaded, dew-cov- starting to the elevator with loads of

ered grass ; an ideal morning. After grain that were left over from yester-

breakfast, I still have time to romp with day's work. One man is cleaning a bin. my dog before Pud comes, but as soon The women are busy preparing dinner. as Pud honks the horn on his little Whip- But Pud and I have no time to linger, pet, I am in the car and we are off to and we stop at the farm house only to get

the farm. Pud is the son of Mr. Kratz, a jug of drinking water. Again we

tlie owner of the large farm. board the little coupe and tear over the — ; ^^3-

dusty lane into the field where the com- my post in the attached wagon. It goes bines are. Here our duties begin at once. bumping along the rough ground, nearly

Two combines are used ; Pud works on shaking my insides out ; however, the rid-

one and I work on the other. The men ing becomes smoother as the wagon fills.

have already started putting the ma- When the grain piles up so that it near-

chines in order. The canvas conveyor ly reaches the spout, I begin scooping it must be replaced, bolts tightened, and to the back of the wagon. Presently we

parts oiled. I start fueling the engines. get a load. While changing wagons, I

I get the gasoline from a tank wagon close the spout to keep any grain from

tliat we carry with us from field to field. pouring out ; then the combine is pulled

The tractor takes about ten gallons of forward, leaving the unfastened filled

gas, five quarts of oil, and an unlimited wagon and making room for another

quantity of water. The smaller station- empty. This is attached and we move out

ary engine on the combine is more con- again.

servative in its desires yet it is harder first is ; Getting the load a pleasure to

to fuel because of its inaccessibility. me, falling into harness again and not as

Each machine has a crew of three yet being bothered by the heat ; but after the driver, the combine tender, and the the first four or five rounds of the field, scooper. Upon the driver of the tractor my job begins to be more like work. The lies the responsibility of keeping the com- constant jiggling of the wagon begins bine moving and in position to cut the to make me feel a little shaken up. As grain. The combine tender rides the the sun rises higher in the sky, the heat combine, tends to the machinery, and becomes more intense, and the dust guides the reaper. The scooper is a gen- becomes thicker ; yet the worst evil of eral handy man who may be called upon labor does not appear—monotony. For to do anything, but his main duty is to each load means that we are getting keep the grain from piling up under the more and more of the field done. It also spout. This necessitates scooping. On means that we will have the company one combine the grain spout leads into an of one of the box drivers for a minute.

attached bin and when this is filled, the As there are seven teams, I can not al- grain is run out into an empty box wag- ways tell who will be the next person to on. However, I am working on an older take the load. Will it be Steve, Mr. machine, which is so constructed that an Kratz's small son, with his old slow team empty box wagon can be attached to the —a team I used to drive four years ago machine and the spout then leads to the or the "girl," the tenant's daughter, who wagon. I ride the wagon as it is pulled had been in grade school with me— I al- alongside the combine. And now that the ways help her hitch her team; or Ben,

morning dew has disappeared, we are her husband, a young hired hand ; or Du- ready to begin threshing. The engines cey, an engineering student from Illinois ;

are tuned up ; their humming fills the or the "old man," a sixty-year-old Ger- air. We're oflf! man who had once owned his own farm ; The newer machine swings out ma- or George Johnson, the comical young

jestically and starts cutting a twelve- hand who always ran his team ; or will

foot gap into the large field of waving it be Ted, a quiet, good-looking lad who wheat. We follow close behind, putting did not appear to be a full-time farm

a deeper dent into the field. I have taken hand ? ;

I am keeping a close watch on the the wagon do not mix well with a hearty

sun now. It is getting near to noon. I meal. I become slightly nauseated; thus,

have been hungry for hours. As we ap- I am a good target of depression as proach the home corner, the one nearest things start going the wrong way. the house, I notice that we have almost a Within the next two hours the heat be- full load, and as we reach the corner, comes almost unbearable, the thermom-

we keep going straight. Ah ! This eter registering one hundred degrees.

means dinner. Everjlhing is going against me. The

The noon hour is a pleasant relief from dirt, dust, and chaff fly into my mouth, the strain of the hot field. In the farm eyes, and nose; I can hardly breathe;

yard all hands find a comfortable spot the gas fumes of the engines become suf-

in the shade, while awaiting their turn focating ; blisters appear on my hands

at the wash stand. I am covered with the spout jumps the wagon bed, spilling

dirt, and I use three pans of water to grain on the ground ; I cut my hand trj'- get my hands and face clean—the cool, ing to jerk the spout back in; I am refreshing water is a luxury. Come to almost overcome with thirst and fatigue

dinner! will it never end? Then a breakdown.

The food is plain but substantial. The The climax is reached. men do not talk much for they are oc- The breakdown is really a blessing. cupied with their meat, potatoes, and While resting during the short time that

beans. Everything is good, but I most the combine tender is making the re- thoroughly enjoyed the iced tea—a real pair, I am able to get control of myself. treat for men from the harvest field. Then I am sent after some water. I now

Having eaten, I feel better but I am feel better speeding along in the little reluctant to depart from the shade of the Whippet to a school house where I find farm yard. During the short rest after some delicious water—so cool. On re- dinner, our conversation turns to our turning, I have a further change of oc- work. We have hopes that we can fin- cupation—I get to drive the tractor for

ish the wheat field todaj^, for it means the first time in my life, a great achieve- that we will be through with wheat for ment for a town boy. the season. Just as the sun is setting, both com- I am the first to leave the shade and bines are working on the last strip in the

start to the field, for I must refuel the field ; we finish it with bursts of shout-

engines. It is torture to go alone out in ing and whooping. The machines are the hot sun, hoisting heavy cans of gas- prepared for the night and we are on

oline, carrying greasy buckets of oil, and our wa}^ home. As Pud and I pause at lifting the water containers. Here come the farm house to get a drink, we hear

the crews and the work is starting. I the proud farmer speaking to his wife, find that the heat and the bouncing of "Well, Mandy, we finished the field."

— 8- ;; / ay

Violent Emotions

George A. Johnson

Theme 6, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

1CAN hardly decide whether the I would have taken offense when Prince strongest emotions of my life were ex- switched my face, but I was standing di- perienced the night my favorite girl quit rectly behind him and well within range me, or whether I was more shaken the so I controlled my temper and cut off day the horse kicked me on the head. more dirt from the plow shares. I had My feelings were really about the same taken so much provocation that my emo- after each incident, but I am not so re- tions began to subside like a reversible luctant to tell about the blow from the reaction in chemistry when an excess of horse. one product is present. Then Prince A few years ago, my brother and I added the last straw. In trying to back were plowing corn one sweltering day. I up and relieve the pressure on his trace was using a double shovel plow which chains, he stepped on the singletree of requires only one horse for locomotive the plow which I was holding up with purposes. Old Prince was that horse. one hand. I was so angry that I couldn't Prince was the laziest and dumbest horse speak, and I couldn't hit the horse with

I have ever seen—or maybe he was the the plow because he was standing on it smartest. He didn't even know that if he so I did the only possible thing—jabbed walked faster he would get to the shade him with my knife. I got instant re- quicker. Since I knew that simple fact, sponse. Prince raised both feet off the I was continually urging Prince on to singletree and planted one or both of greater speed, but my urgings were of no them firmly against my head. I promptly avail. The more I yelled at the horse sat down on a cornstalk about ten feet the angrier I became, and the angrier I away. My recollections of what hap- became the more I yelled. So one thing pened after that are rather vague, but led to another until I felt like a toy bal- I remember having an insane desire to loon, with a pin scratching me. At this tear the horse into little pieces ; then I inopportune moment the grass and dirt was no longer hot and angry, but I was clogged on the plow so as to make plow- chilly and afraid. I went about in a semi- ing impossible. I couldn't become any conscious condition the remainder of the angrier ; so I tied down my safety valve, afternoon, gradually getting back to as it were, and started to clean the plow. normal. To do this I had to hold up the plow The lesson this experience taught beam with one hand, and with the other me was never to allow myself to get angry I scraped the dirt ofif with my knife. Of course the horse took this opportunity on a hot ^ay, while working with a laz)^ to thrash me thoroughh' with his tail, and horse. When the horse goes to sleep, I a horse's tail feels like fire when used also take a nap, thereby saving my nerves on a person's hot face. Now ordinarily and my head.

— 9 — . / d^

Cause and Efiect

Nettie Fine

Theme 16, Rhetoric 1, 1931-32

THE tempest of water and dustpans, only smiled at me and told me "to run brooms and mops, had raged wildly along, dear." over the once peaceful plain of our I sat down on the back porch, nar-

house. But it had spent itself, destroyed rowed my eyes and began to concentrate.

by its own fury, and now the sun of Why wouldn't she let me in there? cleanliness shone. Mother didn't do things purposelessly. Mother, a lock of hair over one eye, a There were always reasons. There must smudge of dirt on her face, leaned tribe a reason for this new situation. It umphantly against the door of the liv- followed that there was something very ing room. She looked very happy. After enticing in the living room. My taste for

days of work and worry, the t^oors shone, adventure became whetted. I began to the tables sparkled, the flowers smiled, connive dashing entrances, secret tunnels, and the kitchen clock laughed out loud. and wild escapes. Our house was in a clear, clean But an easier way presented itself. dazzle. Motlier left for the grocer's, and the

There was a certain place in the liv- liouse was alone, indefensible. Very leis-

ing room, directly in back of the sofa, urely I went on a tour of the house. The

between it and the wall, which I cher- kitchen, the dining room and the hall,

ished very dearly. Here I fought Indians, passed in a glare of cleanliness, and then rode the Western plains, and discovered —the living room. I stopped. But life America. It was the Mecca for my was too short for drawn-out decisions. brother and me, the place where dreams 1 opened the door and went in. Why, there was nothing changed. came true. For days I hadn't been there, The piano stood silently in the corner. because of the housecleaning. The books looked pleasantly disheveled, and In a very self-possessed manner, I then— smiled up at mother and calmly made for I ran wildly from the room, my heart the living room. She became electrified beating madly. Hot, scalding teal's ran with action: —seized me by the collar of slowl_v down my face. How could one's my abbreviated dress and held me. own mother be so cruel! Panic had de- "Young lady, that room is forbidden. scended upon my small world. The sofa Please remember that." had been pushed back, pushed straight I looked very much astonished, but she back against the wall.

10- / Of

Why I Don't Like Cactus

Leila Nendell

Theme 15. Rhetoric 1. 1931-32

AS far back as I can remember, my that that was just the first of my lessons favorite antipathy has been cactus. about cactus and its treachery!

To me, it is a squatty, repulsive, treach- Several months later a friend who erous plant, and despite the good it does owned a pony visited me. As she rode mankind, I cannot conceal my dislike for up to the door, all the boys and girls in it. I have lived in Texas most of my the neighborhood flocked to see the pony life and have seen large cactus, small cac- and to admire it. Marge consented, tus, tall cactus, short cactus, wide cactus, rather hesitantly, to let us ride; so we and narrow cactus. I know every habit it led the pony to a small clearing in the has and all its virtues. Still, I don't like sparse woods and gaily took our turns. cactus! When the fun was at its height, someone I had been in Texas several years be- suggested that we play "Follow the fore cactus came into my life. I had seen Leader." We chose a leader and lined it and admired its orange-tinted, pear- up, ready for the game. Our leader first shaped fruit, and its broad, green, ilat jumped upon the pony and slid ofl: its leaves, but had been advised not to pick back, landing safel_v on the ground. it. I always follow good advice. But one When m\' turn came, I lost courage and day during a solitary stroll through the refused to follow, but the taunting of hills at home 1 decided to taste one of "the gang" was not to be ignored. There- the prickly pears. I tore a branch off fore, I daringly climbed upon the back of a mesquite tree, stuck it into a very the patient pony, gathered all my cour- tempting pear, and giving it a 3'ank, had age, and began to slide. I was in a cold the pear at my feet. I lifted it on the sweat and could almost feel those hoofs stick to my lips, and without inspecting in my stomach. Just before I reached it closely, sank my teeth into it. It sud- the ground, one of the boys, full of tlic denly seemed as though a million little irrepressible spirit of youth, excitedly devils were piercing my lips and mouth yelled that the pony was going to kick with their pitchforks. As I then learned, me. I became terrified, pushed myself these pears are not called "prickly pears" away from the pony, and kept going backwards until I reached without reason, for they are covered with the end of the clearing where a large colony of cacti tiny spines. I tore the pear from my awaited me. Thud! Ouch! I felt myself anguished lips and drew as many of the bombarded by thousands of large needle- tiny spikes as I could from their tender like thorns and millions of tinv spines. resting place, then ran home to Mother. I sat there speechless. Finally my brother It was many days before I could eat gallantly came to the rescue and dragged with my usual heartiness. Needless to me out —a metamorphosed porcupine. I say, I avoided cactus as much as possible looked at the pony, which was standing after that time. Alas, had I onlv known just as he was when I had begun my

— 11 — //^

fateful slide. With e3'es closed, he was pears — properly peeled — and have ad-

apparently dreaming of horse-heaven, all mitted their edibility ; also I have found

oblivious of my catastrophe. I managed that cactus is absolutely harmless unless

to get home, and, with the help and sym- one sits in it, but I can never look upon pathy of Mother, spent the rest of the one of those luxuriant children of the week picking out cactus splinters. desert without shuddering and recalling

Since these events, I have eaten prickly my past unhappy relationship with it.

The End of the Narcissus

W. S. ElSFELDER

Theme 14, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

IT was a warm, sultry afternoon, and say, "All right, son, the mate will give the little breeze that blew around the you our position ; —send out an S.O.S." ship was like the breath of the devil. The While the operator was sending the mes- Narcissus, which was on the fourth day sage, the order, "Prepare to abandon

of its trip to the city of Callao, in Peru, ship," was given.

to which place it was conveying a cargo Within five minutes the life boats were

of oil, had been built during the World in their davits, the entire crew in their

War. Subsequently, it had passed from places, and the final command, "Abandon

line to line until it had come into the ship," was given. By this time the heat hands of a small company which used was intense, and the boats were quickly

the vessel for its tramp business. lowered and pulled away from the As the Narcissus moved through the doomed ship. placid waters, a spiral of smoke suddenly A dark cloud had enveloped the Nar- rose from the ship. A cry of fire was cissus, and ever}' few seconds flames, like heard, and the ship that had been travel- fingers of the devil, were seen snaking ing along so sleepily, quickly became a through the thick smoke. Loud ex- scene of activity. The mate dashed to plosions were heard, and slowly the ship the captain's cabin and yelled into his settled into the water. Suddenly, the bow "Sir, ship is fire. It is in hold ear, the on seemed to lift itself, plunge back, and three!" bury itself beneath the waves, until only The captain, followed by the mate, the flag on the stern remained above the dashed up on to the deck, where all was surface of the water. A playful breeze confusion. His quick orders, "Batten filled the flag out, and then while this down all holds. . . . Rig up the pumps s}"mbol of our country was proudly wav- .... Flood the forward holds," quickly ing, it disappeared. a cloud of restored order from out of the chaos. too Only dark smoke, hanging above the water EverA'thing possible was done, but it was a losing fight, and the captain was like a lost soul, marked the spot where forced to turn to the radio operator and the once proud Narcissus had sunk.

12 — ///

To a Prospective Duck Hunter

G. C. Sharp

Theme 7, Rhelonc 1, 1931-32

rxEAR JACK, illustration. The primary considerations

'-^ I suppose that by this time you are warmth and resistance to moisture. have heard of my unfortunate accident Bring your changes, a warm woolen shirt last week. At any rate, I'm taking for and sweater, and, of course, gloves and granted that you liave ; and so instead of cap. The hunting coat and trousers regaling you with the lucid details T shall should be of water-repellent brown duck, proceed at once to my real purpose in the coat with slicker interlining if pos- writing to you at this time. To put it sible. Plenty of length}' woolen socks brief!}', I want to discuss, in a manner and hip-boots, if you have them, com- not-so-brief, the thing we had planned prise the other essentials of apparel. on—your first duck-hunt. Food, bedding, and firewood are always First of all, the hunt is not to be called on hand at the cottage; so you won't be off on my account. 1 realize that in this concerned with those. short vacation lies my only chance of I remember seeing in your collection of converting you to our ranks ; therefore I artillery a good old double gun. Perhaps have prevailed upon our mutual friends, I am prejudiced in favor of the double, the Rice brothers, to act in my stead. but I advise you to bring it if you can,

They will conduct your coming initiation for it combines two very desirable into the great brotherhood of wild-fowl- features, namely, a full-choke barrel, ers. Both the Rices were here yesterday with lots of reach for the "long ones," and together we completed all the plans and one of modified choke for the closer for the hunt. They will meet you at the shots which will comprise most of your station and you are to be their guest for shooting. And as to ammunition—bring the night. All these plans, f)f course, plenty of it ; this is your first trip you have been made without your approval, know, and besides, the llight is ready to but we are counting on your promise not start any day now. You have heard the to fail us. And now, since I won't see honking of geese the past few nights, you until after \-our return, I want to haven't you? Well, that means but one give you some information that should thing, for the geese always precede the prove useful to 3'ou. real flight of ducks. So regardless of To begin with, I suppose 3'OU will want success I predict plenty of shooting for to know just what to bring in the way you. If you choose a heavy load for of equipment. Perhaps it will be best if your shooting, be sure to get it in a we consider first the matter of clothing. medium-shot size. Most hunters favor And here I want to caution you. Please heavy shot for wild-fowl, but I consider do not attempt to array yourself in what this a mistake, for a heavy charge and the well-dressed man will wear afield this increased velocity tend to scatter the pat- season. Remember that you are going tern of the shot. This elTect can be hunting, not posing for a Vanity Fair counteracted bv an increased number of

13- lu

smaller shot. These, of course, are only serves exactly the same purpose as the suggestions which you are free to follow screens of leaves and woven wire used or ignore as you choose. Since this phase in concealing batteries of artillery dur-

of shooting is new to you, you may profit ing the late war. In other words it is but

to some extent by the things I have a camouflage, designed to break the out- learned from experience. line rather than to conceal the figure.

When you reach the cottage on Thurs- Thus it gives the hunter the advantage day, the shooting will be over for the of being able to observe his game while day. In this localit}' ducks are rarely to be he himself remains invisible, an integral seen in any great numbers after the noon part of the background. Of course the

hour. There will be other things to fill hunter must remain entirely motionless your time, however— for instance cards when game is in sight. It is import- or trapshooting—or if you like, )ou can ant to remember this as even the slightest take the boat for a pre-view of the blind movement is apt to betray the whole with an eye to its possibilities. You will scheme. No cigarettes either—smoke is a

find it at the southern end of the second danger signal to all wild creatures. Be island this year, near the scene of your careful, too, that the sun does not shine

fishing triumph last summer. Remember upon your up-turned face ; in this way

how a narrow lane of water wanders be- light is reflected to the bird on high as if tween the island and the mainland, re- from a polished mirror. Ducks, as a rule,

joining the river at this point—so that are low in the scale of mentality ; never the tip of the island wedges into the forget, however, that your quarry is as

stream with water on three sides? The wary as he is stupid. He is able to see

blind may not be readily apparent to much from his "bird's-eye-view" and is

your unpracticed ej'e, as we have utilized not disposed to trifling with possible natural cover wherever possible in its danger. construction. Tf, however, you row into And now about the decoys. Probably the narrow inlet, you will perceive a about two dozen of them will be put to natural indentation near an overhanging use, either more or less—never an even willow. If you beach the boat here you number. Tradition, or superstition per- will see the path which leads to the blind haps, decrees that an odd number of de-

itself. And here you will be in for some- coys shall always be used. This rule is thing of a surprise, for you will discover never broken by the experienced. The

that the blind isn't at all in accord with lay-out of decoys is called the "stool."

your own conception of just what it This term originated in the days when should be. Instead of the opaque, air- stools of live pigeons were used to decoy tight structure of milady's-boudoir con- passenger pigeons to the snares of pro- struction which you have expected, you fessional market-hunters: hence the will find onl}' a flimsy screen of slightly present term, "stool-pigeon." Your stool inter-woven twigs and reeds. You will will consist of both live decoys and arti- say that the quarry can see through such ficial ones of painted wood known as a transparent device as easily as the "blocks." The blocks are placed in a hunter himself. Yes, but you must re- semicircle before the blind, each spaced member that a brown hunting coat blends a distance of about eighteen inches from naturally with tlie blind in front and the its neighbor and fastened, by means of background of reeds behind. Tlie blind a swivel and short leader, to a common

14- //J

line, which floats beneath the surface of perienced Iiunter learns to watch his de-

the water and is secured by means of a coys rather than the heavens, for the stake at each end. The "callers," or live caller always cocks one eye to the sky in deco_vs, are always i^laccd in the same the direction of the sighted bird. manner, but inside the ring of blocks, to Just one more thing— I want to cau- guard them from chance or stray shot. tion you in regard to musk-rat runs.

Other "blocks" are anchored outside this These little rodents have a most discon- array to break the symmetry of the ar- certing habit—that of burrowing treach- rangement. The "blocks" are used erous tunnels beneath the spot where one

merely to lend atmosphere, mucli like may wish to set his foot. I have many a

stage scenery ; the "callers" are the real well-filled boot to lay at their door, and heart of the scheme. They are the feath- water feels uncommonly cold in Novem-

ered sirens, trained to lure their wild ber weather. With this warning I think

brethern into fatal range of the guns. 1 have tempered in advance one probable The "callers" are mostl}' hens chosen for drain on your store of spontaneous

their quality of voice ; the drakes are not words reserved for such accidents.

gifted vocally—the deep, throaty sound I have given you much that I learned made by them is audible only for short only by experience. Many things remain distances. The ability to utter incessantly- which you must learn for yourself in the

a soft, musical chatter is the thing most same manner. Needless to say, you have to be prized in live decoys. A loud, countless thrills in store for you. You

raucous note is apt to frighten rather will encounter few moments the equal of than charm the prospective game. All of the one when the first speeding V drops the decoys you will use have been care- from the sky to bank and turn over the fully trained to "sing out" in response to decoys in a swift flush of shining feathers

a low signal from the blind—to utter it and beating wings. This thrill is never

y(ju make a sound that is on the border- to be forgotten ; once you have experi-

line between a hiss and a soft whistle. enced it you will be as ardent a duck

Usually this signal is unnecessary how- "crank" as I.

ever, for the decoys invariably sight the Well, Jack, I have said far more than

high-flying wedge before the hunter. The I intended to ; so I'll end now by wish-

older birds will call to anything that flies ing you all the luck in the world for your —even crows and blackbirds. The ex- new venture.

— IS- Air Minded

Beekley Miller

Theme 7, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

A FTER many weary days of constant The plane arrived, and the porter took

^*- and scathing ridicule, I at last per- our bags. We followed him out to the suaded an old friend to take an air trip plane, the intervening space being pro- with me. He was still somewhat hesitant tected by a canopy which was much the as we made reservations on the evening same as those leading from the door to plane for Chicago. His fear was gradu- the curb of an exclusive night club or ally dispelled, as I explained the adequate hotel. I called my friend's attention to safety measures taken at every available the wire guards which surrounded the opportunity b}' the transport company. idling propellers, a safety measure that is Upon our arrival at the airport, my taken to prevent passengers from being friend, who had visions of seeing just a accidentally struck. corn field, commented upon the largeness We were assisted into the plane and and seeming completeness of the equip- to our seats by a steward. He fastened ment. The facilities for parking cars and our safety belts, which are always used the orderly arrangement of cars already for the take-off and the landing. After parked amazed him. He was unconsci- so bravely embarking on this air expedi- ously made to feel at home when the tion, my friend was anxious to be off, customary "red cap" took our bags and and became somewhat impatient. said, "Right this way, sir, the plane I accounted for the delay by showing leaves in five minutes." Here was some- him the pilot and mechanic making a thing that caused him to feel a familiar final check of the plane. This checking warmth. Somehow red caps the world is part of a very rigid system of inspec- over make one feel at ease. tion maintained by all the transport While we were sitting in a luxuriously operators. A very detailed inspection equipped passenger station waiting for card is thoroughly scrutinized by the the plane to be brought to the line, I pilot for omissions that may have been explained the use of various markers and made in the servicing of the plane. lights that were visible through the large When the pilot is convinced that the plate glass window, which gave us a plane is in good order, he signs the re- complete view of the field. I pointed out port card. The ship and passengers are the red lights which mark the boundary then in his care until he fills out a similar of every airport, and are placed on all card at the other end of the line. objects, such as radio towers, telegraph The pilot and co-pilot came aboard, poles, hangars, and the like, which are in and were assured by the steward that the vicinity of the field. My friend was the passengers were all ready. The pilots now becoming very much interested, and took their places and gave the signal for called my attention to several batteries the blocks to be removed. An increasing of lights. I told him that these were used roar was heard from the motors, and the for landing planes at night. plane taxied out to one of the long

— 16 — //J-

cement runways. Here we stopped and line, we are climbing. If it is below the

waited for the signal, to "take off," from line, the pilot can tell at a glance that the

the observation tower. This is always plane is diving. There is always a com-

done to prevent a collision with other pass on a plane to tell the direction of planes which might be landing. At this travel. Radio was the next topic for ex- time, I also explained that taking off and planation. My friend was greatly sur- landmg are always done in the wind. prised to know that the pilot was in con- The signal was given, and there was a stant communication with the ground, re- deafening roar as the three motors burst ceiving weather reports and data deemed into their song of power. The plane necessary for the safety of the plane. moved forward, picking up speed, and He was also interested in the fact that we soon left the ground far below. My he could call any of his business asso- friend glanced nervously at the receding ciates from the air. ground. In order to divert his mind from The next hour was spent in viewing

any unpleasant thoughts I began to ex- the interesting and beautiful panorama plain the use of the many instruments we that lay beneath us. Just below us a could see. I began with the tachometer, lonely house could be seen among the which tells the pilot the number of revo- hills, and further along the sun glistened lutions his motor is making. Then there on a winding river, dazzling the eye with was an oil-pressure gage, an oil-tempera- a million sparkling facets.

ture gage, and a gasoline gage. These It was dark as we approached the field

are all very valuable, for they help the in Chicago, guided b}' the homing beacon. pilot to determine the efficiency and ac- The pilot had to circle the field before

tions of his motors. I then told him of landing. The ground below us was illu- the instruments used for flying in thick minated—a weird but strangely magnifi- weather. This group consists of a bank cent sight. The siren sounded from be- and turn indicator, which tells the pilot low, indicating that all was clear. The when his ship is banking and turning, and pilot snapped out the lights in the cabin an inclinometer, which shows the rate after telling us that we must fasten our of climb. The altimeter indicates the alti- safety belts. We slipped from the dark- tude of the plane. Perhaps the most in- ness into the haze of light. There was a teresting of them all is the artificial hori- gentle shock, and we were safely landed zon. This instrument has a little plane on on the ground. Once again we found a movable disc. A line across the center ourselves under a canopy, as we were of the disc shows our plane's relation to helped out of the plane and into a wait-

the horizon. The little plane is our plane, ing cab. This is another victory for the and if the instrument shows it above the air—another passenger has been won.

t •

dlMI^^

— 17- I/I'

The White Angel Jungle

Elden F. Miller

Theme 3, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

SAN FRANCISCO is a strange, ad- bruises, and if he is in San Francisco, venturous town to many people living he goes to the White Angel Jungle. What

east of the Mississippi. And though it lie gets there costs him nothing. The may be flooded with tourists, and altered food and service are supplied by the city by modern city life, some features of San council and various stores and factories. Francisco will probably never change. Such a "Jungle" could well be adopted

One such feature is the White Angel by other towns and cities throughout the Jungle. country. When a man has a place to

In the midst of the business district, sleep and something to eat, he is not and only a few blocks from the huge likely to turn to crime, even though he

San Francisco Bay, is the White Angel is a vagrant. Too many municipalities Jungle. Around and about its half-block put such men in jail, sometimes only over of vacant lots are great piles of rusty night and sometimes for ninety days, be- anchor chains from sailing vessels that lieving that they are menaces to the com-

will sail no more. In the middle of this munity. They do become menaces when

square of chains is a structure with out- they know they will have to sleep in lines somewhat resembling those of a damp cells and be treated like animals.

ship. Nearby are open kettles, with food It is only natural that they will steal and boiling, tended by men who have seen rob to avoid such treatment—any human better days. Close at hand are tables and being would. benches where men hoboes, we call — And so, in their common-sense method them— sit and eat and drink. Some write of dealing with vagrants, the people of letters, and some just sit and think, while San Francisco have unconsciously set up the air is vibrant with tug- boat whistles, an institution whose like can be found in traffic whistles, factory whistles. A place no other city. They have set up a "sight" where homeless men can rest, "boil up," which Middle-Westeners treat as a Cali- and get something to eat—such is the White Angel Jungle. fornia idea and yet which they them- Illinois, If a man is out of work and needs a selves could apply with profit in haircut, or if he has some cuts and Iowa, and every other state in the union!

•18- ^/?f

The Popularity of Jazz

James L. Rainey

Theme 13, Rhetoric 1, 1931-32

FOR some time it has been customary curately after hearing the tune once or for writers and lecturers to express twice. Now if we should empanel a jury alarm over the popularity of jazz. of typical Americans and ask for their Whether jazz represents a definite con- verdict on this song, we should undoubt-

tribution to music, or whether it is any edly fmd that most of them think that it worse than the wishy-washy ballads so is a very good piece of music. We should popular twenty or thirty years ago are find that most of them tune in regularly points of contention among these self- on Tuesda}', Thursday, and Saturdaj' appointed guardians of the public mind. nights to hear So-and-So's orchestra play

But they agree on one thing, that the snatches of it between long stretches of

average American likes jazz and cares flamboyant advertising. Now let us ask very little for classical music. the jury another question. Let us find No less than seven or eight million out their opinion on the words of this writers have reached the conclusion that song. Again the verdict will be unani-

the reason for this state of affairs is the mous. The jury will rise in its wrath and chronic inability of the American to ap- consign to everlasting flames the poor preciate worth-while things. A few mil- person who would even think of writing lion more have decided that the only such an asinine lyric. All this would

reason jazz is so popular is that it hap- seem to indicate that there is a tremen- pens to be used as dance music. Another dous gap between the artistry of the tune

group maintains that we can learn to ap- and of the words. There is, however, no

preciate good music just as we can learn reason for believing that there is any

to appreciate good books, and that we difference at all in the relative merits of like classics do not the because we are the two. The tune of the song is just as too lazy to go through the tedious process bad from a musical standpoint as the of becoming familiar with them. This words are from the standpoint of good last explanation is by far the most literature. reasonable. Indications of its truth are The real difference lies in the ability not hard to find. we have for appreciating literature and As an example let us take one of the music. Everyone has read enough good latest popular songs. Any one will do, poetry to realize how poorly written are since the}' are all very much alike. In the lyrics of songs. order to gain its popularity, this song had modern Familiarity to have a simple, catchy tune, one that with really good music could produce the evervbodv could whistle more or less ac- same result in regard to the tunes.

19- //^ -

A Consoling Crumb for Eve

James Phelan

Theme 1, Rhetoric 2, 1930-31

HER sleek, black hair is drawn sharpU' shall have a wide billboard or a half- back from her forehead, accentuating page spread, and the very center of it the pale ivory of her skin. Her eight- shall be a female, with shapely legs— inch eyes are half hidden by drooping pardon, limbs to yoic—diaphanous cloth- eyelashes and her eyebrows slant a bit ing, and a smile that would bring St. upward, to give her a slightly feline ap- Simeon scrambling down his stone pillar

pearance. Her ten-inch nose is narrow like a fire chief down a brass pole. Such

and patrician ; her scarlet, foot-wide is the dictum of those who cry in the mouth hints at a smile that reveals the modern commercial wilderness, and the tempting fullness of her lower lip. And heads of the merchant tycoons bow be-

such is the advertisement for Old Luck fore it.

cigarettes—Smother than any satin. There is irony in this. Man is, indeed, The picture will change, tomorrow or lord of forest and cave, more recently ne.xt week, but not the motif. Tiie feline of fairway and apartment! All day he

may give way to a rose and yellow lily labors with his power, sending wheat up of Scandinavia, or a vivacious red-head three-eighths of a cent, amalgamating from Hollywood, but she shall retire se- Combined Copper and Independent Steel, cure in the knowledge that her successor deciding that the new Wittset eight shall

is a female. The ten commandments of have grey leather seats instead of wine- the publicity men are expressed in one red plush. A pretty picture and a mighty word, femininity, followed by a heavy creature. And yet, turn where he may,

exclamation mark, and surely damned is to the right and left, ahead, behind, he who even thinks of transgressing this above, on the wide billboards of the city mono-decalogue. Does the manufacturer is enthroned woman, aloof and superior. wish to advertise a cold remedy, woolen There she perches regally, like Cleopatra

socks, steam shovels, luxuriant transpor- on her barge, and her smile is touched tation by bus to Kansas City? Then he with the acid of contempt.

LOV LAUNDDY

— 20 — —; r

A General Education for a Specific Career

Florence I. Adams

Theme 7, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

IT was no thrill for me to play the scale meant earnest hard work. 1 did not mind and simple exercises for my music spending years in preparation; so I set teacher when I was a child practising about deciding where I should study. my piano lessons. My one thought was The names of both the New England ti) get it over with. Yet, much as I dis- Conservatory and Cincinnati Conserva- liked my lessons, I was ahva^'s singing tory of Music attracted me, for these two just as any carefree child sings at play. were generally considered the best music

It flattered me to be asked to sing at a schools in the United States. Both names Children's Day program, or at the Friday were magical to me—I was sure that afternoon program in the primary after a few years study in either school school, (I was especially good at "Teddy I would be no less a luminary than Jenny l^.ear Has His Lair Under Johnnie's Find herself. I finally decided to go to Rocking Chair"). As I grew older I en- Cincinnati Conservatory, partly because joyed singing more and more and my Aunt Flo had gone there, and partly be- amateur performances became a matter cause it was not far from home. Aunt of course. Still I never thought of study- Flo told me of the exercises, the prac- ing music seriously. In fact, I did not tising, and the concerts that made up the think of studying anything. life of a music student there. I was more It was not until my Aunt Flo came to enthusiastic than ever. live in our town that my voice was dis- The Conservatory also offered courses covered. Aunt Flo had sung in opera in elective subjects, principally foreign so when she said that my voice was languages, history, and English. This worth developing a new world was was an advantage, because such courses opened to me. I saw myself as a concert as these are necessary to anyone and yet soloist and as a prima donna in the roles one would not have to waste four years of Carmen and Marguerite. I worked in a liberal arts school to get the same hard with Aunt Flo as my teacher, and I knowledge. I am not one of the few thought myself well on the way to suc- persons who strive to gain every atom cess when I got the leading roles in high of knowledge that comes their way. I school operettas and won medals in music see no reason for wasting my energy and contests. time on anything in which I am not in- The time came for me to decide upon terested, and getting rather mediocre a college. The few years of musical grades in them, when I might just as well training I had had merely strengthened be getting good grades in the work I en- my determination to have a musical ca- joy doing. It seemed to me that the only reer. My family was not fully convinced way to make definite headway into a that my ambitions were not just dreams, career was to get started on it and not or that my hopes were warranted. Aunt to dawdle about in half a dozen fields. Flo, however, still had faith in my voice, I had decided all this for myself. Then and I realized that any kind of success I met some opposition. My family was

-21 I 130

unusually sympathetic toward a career, keep me from having mj' career. I made but they had ideas of their own as to the a right about face and decided to come best course for me to follow. Their first to the University of Illinois. So it was

point was that I was too young to start not my argument nor the opposing argu- specializing—that I lacked the cultural ment that won. Circumstances decided background necessary to a well-rounded my education for a few years, but not personality, and that specialization with- forever, because I still intend to carry out a general preparation would be nar- on the postponed schedule. rowing to my view-point and to my de- It was disappointing at first, but I tried velopment as a person. My mother feared my best to be convinced of all the argu- for my health under the rigorous curricu- ments on the side of a general education. lum of the Conservatory. She also I have tried to be enthusiastic over the thought I needed more preparation in great wealth of knowledge I shall have

music before I went there. I would have when I finish with history, biology, and

been further advanced if I had mastered English literature. I have tried to believe the hated piano lessons, but still I was that these courses and others will make confident that my zest would make up a charming, cultured woman of me. But for an}' inadequate preparation, once I with little success, for too many other reached the Conservatory. people are doing the same thing and I My family brought up still another ob- find none of them cultured or well-edu- jection—what if my grand career was a cated. I have worked toward the musi- failure and I had no training but music? cal education I hope to have later. I

With a general education, they said, I have signed up for as much work in lan- would have something to fall back on guages and dramatics as possible, for

if I did not attain the expected success these subjects are necessary to my future in my career. My spirits were dampened, career.

but I had to admit that my voice might I have spent almost a year now in not carry me to the triumphs I expected a liberal arts course, and I do not feel so confidently. Then my health might that I have gained much. I have done fail—a thousand things might happen. moderately well as to grades, I have had It would be unfortunate, in such a case, a passably good time, but I am not seri-

if I knew nothing but music—while, if ously interested in the courses I am I were prepared to teach school or to taking—and consequently I do not feel I not worry write advertising copy, need that I am receiving as much benefit from about starving. them as possible. Perhaps they are basic In the end the matter was practically for more interesting work to come— decided for me. The business depression hope so. Certainly I could not earn a liv- came along. I realized that it would en- ing with what I have learned so far. I tail great sacrifice on the part of my have lost what progress I had made in family for me to go to Cincinnati. I music as I have had no time to keep it knew that my father would have sacri- up. For this reason I cannot help feel- ficed a great deal for me to go anyway, ing that every year that I spend in this had I insisted, but that was more than I just that could ask, and if I were so ambitious liberal arts course sets me back now—surely a year or two would not much in mv real education—music.

— 22 — Textbook: World

Owen Reamer

Tlwmc 3, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

THE two most important gates of waiting for tiny inquisitive minds to re- man's brain are sight and hearing. lease it. Through these two portals enter most of The chicken house taught me elements his sensations. If he is born with a modi- of zoology: chickens have peculiar organs cum of intelligence, and early learns to that enable them to sleep on a small keep those doors open, he will probably rod without falling off ; hens lay eggs leave the world with no small amount of which, if left alone under the mother's wisdom. Man, when young (not being care, hatch into miniature copies of the blessed with easy adaptability to environ- older bird. The washshed, rebuilt by my ment as are the animals) experiences father from the wreck of a larger barn, many bumps, physical and otherwise, taught me what fruits manual training, while he is becoming orientated in his patience, and frugality give. In the immediate scheme of things. garage, which was both machine and car-

The years from four to twelve are, to penter shop combined, I watched my my mind, eight of the most important father and learned the use of tools. He ones in a child's life. During that time never allowed me to tamper with his it is decided whether he is to be ignorant more expensive implements but he de- or intelligent ; normal and average or ab- lighted in having me ask him questions. normal and moody; physically fit or a The woodshed intrigued me. In the fall health problem ; one who would be bene- I helped to fill it with the fresh-cut wood. fited and individualized by a college edu- We filled it till only interesting gaps and cation or turned out as just another stere- spaces high up near the peaked roof otyped citizen. These qualities depend a were left. These woody retreats were to

,s,'reat deal on the environment a child is me as haymows are to a farmer boy. reared in. He is born with an intelli- There I built myself rustic thrones with gence, but those who rear him must see arms and back and footrest from the tliat that intelligence is developed. rude half -logs. Often I enticed play-

I spent these important years in a small mates to sit there and talk with me. They town with few children in mv immediate stayed a little while, but I am afraid they vicinity. I was thrown on my own in- did not appreciate the dim solitude, \ention for amusement. My mother was pierced only by the dust-laden shafts of

( and is) overfond of me, but even she sunlight. I think I obtained my first could not spend the long days amusing liking for argumentative discussion me. It was indeed fortunate that our through these infant bull sessions. jiousc was in a large yard with many So m}' small town days passed and I l)uildings —a woodshed, a chicken house, learned many things. No one believed a washshed. an old empty stable, and a then or believes now that I had any dif- garage with wonderful tools. These ferent ideas from the rest of the children. buildings were interesting and were store- As I was often alone and confined in- houses of interesting knowledge, only doors by bad weather, I learned to read

-23 — /;?^

very quickly. In second grade I read much as I wanted to, but I kept my in-

books that others scarcely touched till quisitiveness through my teens. Everyday fourth. In some strange manner this brings new information on life or its in- endless reading left me with the desire to teresting sidelines. Sometimes I find

find, in real life, the things I read about. these facts by personal endeavor ; again, I stayed near my elders and asked if I keep my eyes and ears open, I hear them countless questions. If they silenced little details by accident—encouragement me as they very often did, I remained from the Muses, one might say. near them and silently watched. There It has been interesting and has con- were so many things I wanted to know, tributed immensely to my personal en- and, even with my questionings, I could joyment of life, this finding of answers find few answers. Even with my eyes and to my juvenile questions as I grew up.

ears open I began to realize how crassly I should advise all people who train chil-

ignorant one man is. When I asked my dren to teach their charges to read. Then brother a question and he evaded, I send them out into the world and tell thought he was teasing. Even my father them to look for the answers to the ques-

failed me on some inquiries. So it goes. tions that will undoubtedly arise in their Those to whom I look for aid in my in- minds. With such personal observation experience are frequently as ignorant as and examination of life, life is bound to

I. I realized that I should never know as }-ield up a portion of her endless wisdom.

— 24- /^y

Esperanto

M. A. McQuowN

Theme 7, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

"VJINETY-NINE out of a hundred in its literature, and it is capable of ex- ^ ^ average Americans will look at you pressing the most delicate shades of in astonishment. Esperanto? What is meaning. It has a large literature, there Esperanto? Perhaps the hundredth per- being about 6000 volumes in the library son might answer somewhat in this fash- of the Universal Esperanto Association ion. "Oh, it's just some hare-brained in Geneva, Switzerland. scheme for a universal language which Having consulted the encyclopedia, was discussed in the magazines some this person would become more inter- twenty or twenty-five years ago. It's ested, would write to one of the ad- probably dead by this time. I haven't dresses given in the notes at the end of heard an}-thing about it for twenty years. the article, would purchase an Esperanto Besides, it's impossible anyway." And grammar, and would set about learning he would dismiss the subject with a wave the language. In a short time he would of his hand, and turn back to his work. find that he could write letters easily in It is with the one person in a thou- the language, and he would then sub- sand, however, that we shall concern scribe to the national Esperanto maga- ourselves. That person, upon hearing zine. In this magazine he would find of Esperanto and upon learning that it addresses of Esperantists all over the is an international language, will let his world, to whom he could write. He natural curiosity get the best of him, and would commence a correspondence with will to encyclopedia. It will en- go an some of these people ; and an old friend, lighten him somewhat like this: Es- meeting him some time later, would be peranto, destined to be an international very much surprised at the cosmopolitan auxiliary language, was invented by a outlook on the world which he had de- Russian, Dr. L. L. Zamenhof, and was veloped, at his excellent knowledge of published in 1887. It has spread more geography and conditions in many coun- or less rapidly since that time and is tries, at the sudden interest which he had unique in the history of international acquired in the life of the Japanese at languages in having aroused much con- home, for example, and at the intimate troversy, and in having been put to prac- knowledge which he had concerning it. tical use on a large scale. It meets all the requirements generally agreed to be necessary in an international language. It In the little town of Bialystok, in the is simple—it is said that it can be learned province of Grodno, in what is now Po- thoroughly in about one-fifth the time land, but in what was then the domain necessary to gain a fair acquaintance of the Czar, on the morning of the fif- with a national language— it is euphon- teenth of December, in the year 1859, ious, it is flexible, it is logical, it is reg- there was born to Mark and Rosalie ular, it is phonetic, and it has met the Zamenhof a son, their first son. This son test of practice. It has developed a style they christened Ludwik Lazar. The in-

25- —

habitants of the town of Bialystok were "What do these people know about each a mixed lot. In one quarter of the town other? That they (the others) too have Hved the Russians, in another the Poles, a heart, know joy and sorrow, love home in another the Germans, and in still and wife and children? Such a thought another—by far the poorest quarter never occurs to them. There exist only the Jews. It was in this quarter of Jews, Russians, Poles, Germans—not Rialystok that Ludwik Lazar Zamenhof human beings, only races." was born. His father was a teacher of During Zamenhof's youth in Bialystok geography and modern languages in the he learned Polish and Russian. His schools of Bialystok. His mother was father taught him German and French the daughter of a Hebrew merchant. while he was yet a mere boy. Zamenhof The atmosphere of the town in which had a talent for learning languages and Zamenhof was born greatly influenced always lead his classes in the "Gym- his character and his development in nasium." In the "Gymnasium" Zamen- " later life. In his own words: . . . . hof studied Latin and Greek—as every

I was educated to be an idealist ; I was one did — for the full nine-year course. taught that all men were brothers, while, During all this time his mind was oc- all the time, everything around me made cupied by the problem of an international me feel that 7ncn did not exist; there language. He had become convinced only existed Russians, Poles, Germans, that no national language could possibly Jews, and so on. This state of affairs become the international language by the was a continual torment to my young example of the hatred of the Poles for mind—though many, perhaps, will smile the Russian language, by the obvious at such 'grief for the world' in a child. fact that, if a national language were

And as it then seemed to me that 'grown- chosen as the international language, the up people' were all-powerful, I used to nation so honored would inevitably re- say to myself that when I grew up I ceive such a prestige and such an influ- would certainly abolish the evil." The ence over the other nations of the world hatred which existed between the peoples that these other nations would never of his birthplace greatly afifected the consent to it. National pride and na- sensitive mind of the young Jew. He tional jealousies are too great an obstacle witnessed the terrible pogroms, those to overcome. He was convinced that an interracial butcheries in which Russians international language must be a neutral massacred Jews. He witnessed the up- language, must not be anyone's property, risings of the Poles and Latvians in their must moreover be an auxiliary language, efforts to shake off the iron hand of the a "second language for all," and must Russian Czar. He observed the terrible not encroach upon the rights of the na- effects of perfidious Russian propa- tional tongues. So he came to the con- ganda in pitting the Poles against the clusion that the international must be an Latvians, and against the Jews who had artificial language, since Latin (because been driven out of Russia and had settled of its enormous difficulty) and national in Poland. And the great barrier be- languages were ruled out. tween these peoples was that of lan- When, in the fifth class of the "Gym- guage. They did not understand each nasium," he began to study English, the other. In the words of that greatest of simplicity of its grammar impressed him Esperanto writers, Edmond Privat: so much that a plan began to form in his

26- — / -

mind. The grammar which he had al- it. He taught himself to think in it. He ready' tentatively prepared was based on translated the most difficult pieces of

the enormously complex grammars of literature into it. Finally, on the four- Latin and Greek. He began to reaHze teenth of July, 1887, he gave his work tliat the complexity of the grammars of to the printer. He describes his feelings national languages was not a necessary thus: "I was very excited before this tiling, and that thoughts could be ex- thing; I felt that I stood before a Rubi- pressed just as accurately by a much con, and that from the day when my simpler one, and the grammar which he first brochure appeared, I no longer

was preparing soon melted down to a would be able to go back ; I knew what few pages. However, his great vocabu- fate would attend a doctor, who depends laries still worried him. One day he upon the public, if this public sees in him happened to notice that the signs over the a theorist who occupies himself with shops of the town had certain termina- 'other matters' ; I felt that I was placing tions, as we in America might notice the upon the table my whole future peace of signs "Bakery," "Grocer}-," and "Laun- mind and my whole existence together dry." These terminations had a definite with that of my family; but I was not meaning. So he conceived the idea of able to forsake the idea, which had en- using prefixes and suffixes to express the tered into my body and my soul, and relationships of words derived from one I crossed the Rubicon." another. For instance, he decided upon the suffix "-in" to express femininity. II Thus "patro" means "father," and A lengthy discussion of the history of "patrino" means "mother." By the use the Esperanto movement would be here of these suffixes and prefixes he soon out of place. It will suffice that I men- boiled down his gigantic vocabularies to tion the outstanding events which have a few thousand "roots." By learning occurred in the intervening years since twenty or thirt}' suffixes and these few that day in 1887 when Esperanto was thousand root words one has without given to the world. The movement pro- further effort a vocabulary of many gressed at first slowly, as was natural, thousands of words. By 1878 he had spread from Russia to Sweden to France completed the first form of what we to Germany and then to England. It know today as "Esperanto." appeared in England about the beginning .Soon afterward, Zamenhof was forced of the present centur}-. In 1905 an event to put the new language aside for a time occurred which proved the use of Es- and go to Moscow to study medicine. peranto in practice. However, during his years in Moscow From the seventh to the twelfth of his mind was continually occupied by the August, 1905, there was held at problem. When he returned and estab- Boulogne-sur-Mer in France the first lished himself in business in Warsaw, Universal Esperanto Congress. There he began work again on the language. were 688 people from twenty different Many of the things which he had countries present. Many of these people thought excellent in theory he was had never heard Esperanto spoken be-

forced to throw overboard in practice. fore; many of them had learned it only He worked on the language for five a few months before, expressly for the years, continually perfecting and testing purpose of coming to the Congress. The

-27- final test was about to be put to the lan- ance went off without a hitch. No dif- guage. People speaking different lan- ference in pronunciation was perceptible. guages were to gather together at a con- A play by Shakespeare, however, pre- gress and attempt to do business with sented in English by a cast consisting of one another through the medium of the a German, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, an international language, Esperanto. Again Italian, a Russian, a Swede, and a Japa- I must quote Edmond Privat to give an nese could not help but be a ludicrous accurate picture of what occurred there: failure! Since that time, twenty-three (The delegates to the Congress were Universal Esperanto Congresses have gathered in the town theatre.) "An ex- taken place, the largest in Nuremberg in cited tremor went through the crowd as Germany in 1923, at which 4963 from they waited. Suddenly there sounded 43 nations were present. the music of the hymn 'La Espero': In 1907, the Universal Esperanto As- En la mondon venis nova sento, sociation was founded. This association

Tra la mondo iras forta volco . . . was formed to administer the purely "At the same time we all arose—there practical side of the Esperanto move- upon the stage, with the presiding officers ment. It uses Esperanto as a means, not of the congress, entered the beloved as an end. It publishes the monthly re- 'Majstro.' Short, timid, touched to the view, "Esperanto," which is sent to its ten heart, with a very broad forehead, round thousand members in some eighty coun- eye-glasses, a little beard somewhat grey. tries of the world. It has at the present Everything was already flying or waving time about 2000 "delegates," in seventy in the air, hands, caps, handkerchiefs, in countries, whose duty is to help travelers a half-hour salute. When he arose after in foreign countries. It has a tourist the greeting of the officers of the town, bureau which gladly gives assistance in the acclaim thundered out again. Piut planning itineraries. Through its help already he had begun to speak. The international associations of the blind, noise stopped. Everyone sat down again. of railway men, of young people, of Through silence sounded his words: .... lawyers, of Catholics, of merchants, of "Thus spoke Zamenhof. In his hands Christians, of doctors, of motorists, of the paper trembled. He felt a powerful tourists, of teachers, of musicians, of emotion. Could he read on? Neverthe- policemen, of telegraphers, of postmen, less something pushed him on. Although of scientists, of Boy Scouts, of stenog- unaccustomed to public speaking, his raphers, and of theologians have been " formed. It plans voice grew and became loud . . . . and conducts the an- And everyone of them understood him! nual international congresses. The asso- During the five days that followed all ciation states its purposes thus: manner of business was carried on, To disseminate the use of the international auxiliary language Esperanto. everjlhing in Esperanto. Many sceptics To facilitate all kinds of relations, moral had had doubts about pronunciation. and material, between human beings, with- What happened at the Congress quite out difFerentiatin;? because of race, nation- dispelled them. An Esperanto transla- ality, religion or language. tion of a play by Moliere was presented To create international services which may be used by all men, whose intellectual by people of several different nationali- or material interests aim at something be- ties. They had had no practice before yond the boundaries of their racial or the Congress opened. Yet the perform- lingual territory.

28- To build up among: its members a strong: tions broadcast in Esperanto for fifteen bond of solidarity and to develop among minutes each week and announce the them an understanding of foreign peoples. name of the station daily in Esperanto. In 1917 Zamenhof died. In 1922 the Most of the larger stations in Europe League of Nations issued a lengthy re- now do this. port of the status of Esperanto in the Regarding the number of Esperantists world at that time but failed to pass the in the world, little can be said definitely, following resolution by a small margin: because of the impossibility of collecting The League of Nations recommends that complete statistics. In the teaching of Esperanto be made general 1928 an attempt in the public schools of the whole world as was made. It appeared that there were a practical and popular means of inter- 126,508 Esperantists in over 100 lands national intercourse in no way calculated actively engaged in the movement. Of to prejudice the age-long prestige of civil- course, these are only a small part of ized national languages. those who know and use the language Also in 1922 nearly one hundred of the but belong to no organization. world's leading educators, from 28 coun- The "New York Times" stated last year that tries, met in Geneva at the invitation of the number of Esperantists in the world, the League of Nations, and passed the at a low estimate, was five millions, resolution reading in part: and this number is rapidly increasing. We find that Esperanto is entirely adequate for practical use as an international language for all purposes, and that, more- The subject which I have been discus- over, it possesses remarkable qualities as an sing is of immediate and practical educational instrument. We cordially im- recommend you to encourage the teaching portance, and I hope that the subject of Esperanto, not only because of its utility matter of this paper shall have awakened in commerce, science, and other interna- some little interest in the mind of the tional activities, but also because of its value as a stimulus to friendly relationship reader which will lead him to further between the peoples of the world. Es- investigation; so that, perhaps, another peranto should be made a part of the edu- of those people will have found himself cational program of every civilized country. —another of those people whose minds In 1925 Esperatito was made a "clear" are capable of going beyond their im- language by the International Tele- mediate surroundings, and capable of graphic Union, so that one may now visualizing that time when in truth "the send telegrams in it. With the advent of radio the need for an international walls between the peoples shall have been language has become more acute and the destroyed" and mutual understanding International Union of Wireless Tele- and peaceful relations shall prevail on the phony has recommended that radio sta- earth.

— 29 — There Ought to be a Law

Helen Westerman

Theme 3, Rhetoric 2, 1931-32

THERE is a certain set of people in which can be swallowed in three seconds this present age that insists upon with no pleasant sensations. The memory making wild estimates of the state of this of a happy and pleasant meal may last world in—say, fifty years from now. for any length of time. In literature Certain of their conclusions regarding some of the most famous incidents occur the development of machinery I will at banquets or in banquet halls. Heroes grant, but they have some fantastical are honored with feasts of prodigious ideas which certainly have no scientific proportions, but it would be a farce to foundation. I have in mind the idea, hand a pink tablet to a visiting ambassa- which some one advanced, that in the dor and then ask him to make a speech. future food will be concentrated entirely And beside this we have the practical into talilet form and eaten as tablets only. side of the question, which is probably

To me a day is naturally divided into more serious. Future homes would have three distinct parts by breakfast, lunch, no pantries, no kitchens, no dining rooms. and dinner. Suddenly to take away these Tliere would be no need for canning fac- divisions would leave the day in such tories, grocery stores, restaurants, vege- an unsettled state that it would be diffi- table markets. (And incidentally, what cult to systematize one's work. Xo longer would become of the college home eco- could one plan to do so much work be- nomics student?) These sweeping fore lunch and llie rest before dinner. changes in all phases of life are too stu- The mere swallowing of a brown, a pendous to investigate and too startling white, and a green tablet for a full to attempt grasping. course meal should not necessitate I believe it to be cruel and heartless to any break of routine. Twelve o'clock spread such an idea among the people noon would no longer have the signifi- and there should be a law against it. But, cance which it now has—no more noon because there might be some truth in the whistles would shriek. The monoton}' prophecy, I have started on a campaign of a day would be unbearable with no of "food appreciation." From now on I breakfast to hurry to, no lunch to invite intend to eat whatever and whenever I bridge players to, and no dinner to dress please, so that I can tell my grandchil- for and enjoy under soft candle light. dren all the joys of chocolate cream pie, The anticipation of a meal may keep a chicken fried in butter, waffles, and fruit person in a happy frame of mind for salad, while they sit at my knee crunch-

several hours, but there is nothing exhil- ing concentrated vitamins in dusty arating about a couple of tasteless tablets tablets.

30 — /^

#rtt» I ''

T-HtCKtEN CALDKON

A Magazine of Freshman Writing

CONTENTS

"IMPROVED" PROPERTY 1 Margaret Henderson

THE ILLIDGIAC MOOD 1 John H. Schacht "SOMEWHERE IN KANSAS" 3 Ruth McClain

THE WORLD I LEFT BEHIND ME . . . 4 Juan Baniqued MY PHILOSOPHY OF WORK S Feme Fetters THE ICE WAGON 6 C. R. Gairing £TUDE 7 F. C. Arthur THE ISLE OF THE DEAD 10 Charles Gibian HIDDEN TREASURE 11 G. D. Weisiger THE BRASS PIG 13 G. W. James ON THE LOSS OF A ROOM IS R. F. Fisher OUR ARABIAN NIGHTS IS H. C. Blankmeyer COLLEGE CAPERS 17 November Louis Plambeck, Jr. THE VALUE OF PESSIMISM 18 V. G. Meadors THE ROMANCE OF OUR TRAINS ... 19 1932 Mary V. Cady A CHANGE OF HEART 20 William E. Rapp ANTON 21 Vol.2 Elinor Davis THE HOSPITAL 23 No. 1 Stewart Wright

DANGER ENOUGH FOR A DAY . . . . 2S William Judy

PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

"Improved" Property

Margaret Henderson

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

ACROSS the street from our house immense lilac bush, and the perfume of stands a very new and modem apart- the flowers mingled with that of the ment building. It is a very nice apart- apple-blossoms. Each bloom-laden bush ment building, as apartment buildings go. stood like a huge sentinel. Two tumble- It has all the most recent improvements down old red barns leaned and rested in in the lighting, heating, and refrigeration the center of the orchard. Neither was systems, and the exterior is of the finest very large, and by climbing one of the quality red brick. People are constantly trees and then jumping, we were able to hurrying in and out of its doors. get upon the roof of one of them. As There was once a very old orchard often as we were allowed, we ate our across the street from our house. Its lunch perched precariously on the roof inhabitants were ancient and gnarled ap- top, high among the branches of the ple trees, bent from many years of fruit- trees. bearing. In the spring the whole orchard There is one very forlorn and desolate was filled with the pink and white blos- lilac bush standing beside the apartment soms, which sent their spicy fragrance building. left for over the neighborhood. In the fall the ap- In the space which was ples hung heavy—red, yellow, and green. a back yard, there is still a lonely old Guarding this quiet old place from the apple tree, which very bravely bears a rest of the busy community, was a few yellow apples each year. weatherbeaten old rail fence. Inside its The propert)' upon which the building protective pales, at each corner, was an stands is listed as "improved."

The Illidgiac Mood

John H. Schacht

Theme 16. Rhetoric II. 1931-32

1HAVE seen political candidates con- dance. He was outwardly the most com- gratulated upon winning an election, plete, perfect, and absolute example of and I have seen airplane pilots received pride and aloofness that one could wish poli- to see yet I know well that he was the after crossing the Atlantic, and both ; ticians and pilots seemed proud of them- most embarrassed lad on the dance floor. selves, but I have yet to see anyone look He was a perfect example of the Illidgiac quite so haught}- as a youth in a light mood. gray suit whom I once saw at a formal What is the Illidgiac mood? It is the nz ;

state of emotions that Frank Illidge, of come to formal affairs in light suits ; bat- Huxley's Point Counter Point, found ters are sure to encounter pitchers that himself in at Lord Edward's reception, are too good for them; and, if youths when he came down the stairs to con- insist on going to roadhouses, there must front a crowd of unfamiliar, utterly be a first time for all of them. But, since

foreign, and therefore utterly hateful this mood is due to fear, and so perhaps

faces. So, though he felt completely out to an inferiority complex, it seems to me of place, he elevated his chin, squared his that if a man would approach these situa- shoulders, and advanced, looking like tions in the proper frame of mind, he Napoleon at Augsburg, and feeling like could carry them off very well.

Napoleon at Waterloo. I should suggest taking the bull by the Have you ever seen a boy the first time horns. Frank Illidge skidded on the he goes to a roadhouse? He carefully stairs, and had to clutch the bannister to avoids the couples wrestling on the front preserve his balance. His slip made him porch, opens the door, sees everyone hi- more nervous than ever. Now, the proper larious tipsy, internally wilts. and and thing for him would have been, I think, But he, like Illidge, and like the boy at to straddle the bannister and slide down his full the formal, draws himself up to into the assembly with a loud shout. His a cyni- height and looks about him with arrival would then have put the party on cally amused smile and an air of disdain. a good, homelike basis, and he would un- Or have you ever seen a batter in a doubtedly have felt more at ease. baseball game, facing a pitcher who is too The batter should give the umpire and good for him? The batter, feeling empty pitcher a good talking-to before he bats inside, lolls about with a bored look, care- thus he could relieve his nervous tension lessl}^ handling his bat. Then he stands and feel a good deal better even if he like a wooden Indian, while the pitcher subsequently was called out on strikes. throws three strikes, gives the umpire a And I am sure the boy at the roadhouse withering look, and retires. would look less like an automaton and Now, this air of assumed superiority feel less like a hollow shell if, upon en- has, I suppose, causes both mental and tering the dance hall, he should turn a physical. Fear, of course, is responsible few handsprings and upset a table or for the whole thing. The boy at the two. dance, the batter, and the boy at the road- These remedies, though violent, might house, are afraid. Rut what really terri- be more effective than ridiculous (though fies them is the fear that the}' may appear not much more so), but they would never afraid. So their vanity suggests to them be employed, for the Illidgiac mood is that they put on their easy, right-at-home too deeply seated. As well try to reason pose. This would be quite successful if the fear of darkness out of a child as to they were all George Arlisses, but un- drive the fear of the unfamiliar out of a fortunately their nervous system wins a man—at least when he feels he is being decision over their will-power ; they hostile crowd. So men tighten up, and act like pieces of statuary scrutinized by a of hauteur mystically endowed with locomotion. will go on assuming their pose their embarrassment, and silently I suppose there is no real preventive to hide will not for this mental complex, since people are praying that, unlike Illidge, they almost certain to slip up sometime and topple on the stairs.

-2 — "Somewhere in Kansas"

Ruth McClain

Theme 15, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

IT was gone ! I ran madly down the read, "Sam, Coach Carolina, Pacific track, the ice cream cone that had Coast Limited. Please put all luggage of caused the disaster still clutched tightly mine off and check at Denver. There's a in my hand, but to no avail. The— illumi- dollar for you at the telegraph office. nated sign on the last coach "Pacific Lower number 9." Then I settled back on Coast Limited"^— faded into the distance, the uncomfortable bench (vacated kindly and, still panting, I turned and walked and hurriedly by the old gentleman) for slowly back to the town. I was dressed in a long, long wait. The town was so quiet pajamas, covered only by a light coat, I could hear mice scratching in the walls, just as I had been when the train paused the click of the telegraph instrument, and at the little town of Pekong (somewhere the drone of voices as the operator con- in Kansas) and, seized with a sudden versed with someone just outside the longing for ice cream, I had snatched my door. I finished the cone with something purse and headed for the enticing sign, of satisfaction (a just punishment for just back of the station, "Ice Cream Em- the miscreant) and somehow dropped off porium." There I was, all alone in an to sleep, to dream of rumbling trains and imknown town with a very few dollars huge mounds of ice cream. I was in my purse (the rest had been safely awakened by a rough grasp on my shoul- stowed for the night in the very bottom der, and I blinked up at the queer pic- of my suitcase). I walked with great ture of the highly respectable operator, dignity into the ancient depot, and, de- standing before me, very red of face, and spite the curious gaze of an old man holding a faded red gingham dress in his hunched in a corner of the rickety bench, hand. He offered it sheepishly with the I advanced toward the amazed telegraph announcement: operator and explained my predicament. "Here, ma'am, the Mrs. said you were

"Well, ma'am," he answered, slowly to have this. She won't need it, of course scratching his forehead and eyeing my it might be big—but—no, I don't want attire with evident disfavor, "I just don't any money for it —here, take it, ma'am." know what to say. The next train won't I took it, and boarded the four o'clock be in until four this morning, but you're train, dressed in a much too large and welcome to sit right here and wait." long gingham dress and a short coat, I thanked him effusively and wrote out carrying a neatly tied newspaper bundle a telegram to the porter of my coach ; it under my arm.

-3 — />y

The World I Left Behind Me

Juan Baniqued

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

DURING my very early childhood the by angels so that little children need not advantages of being grown up were be afraid of the dark. All these things

quite strongly impressed upon my mind. I believed before I went to school. Perhaps washing dishes would not now On my seventh birthday, my carefree be such a detestable task, if in those life was traded in on an education. Never earlier years it could have been accom- since have I been free. The burden of chair. plished without the aid of a How learning was not the delightful task it I envied my mother because she could was supposed to be. For a carpet of see at once both sides of the table when crackling leaves and soft grass, they gave she set it. the time that I spent Had me a hard, dark floor. For hills and I older, spent learning wishing were been mountains, blue sky and bright sun, thev to whistle, I should be the world's now gave me dull walls and an unchanging champion whistler. course, when I Of ceiling. For the companionship of broth- got what I wanted, it was no longer de- ers and sisters, they gave me books, pen- sirable. By the time I was fourteen I was cils, and papers. Thus I gave up the earth quite willing never to grow older. and all that was on it for the question- The truly happy years that I have left able benefits of the schoolroom. Like behind me, from the time I was four until fading pictures, shadowed with soft light I was seven, were spent on a farm. No and accompanied by far away music, re- cloud dimmed, or even remotely threat- turn the scenes of my happy home. ened, the succession of bright, happy What grown up pleasures compare with days. No thought of tomorrow ever chasing calves through a meadow of red troubled my sleep. Heaven and earth clover, or swimming in a silvery stream? were mine, though my earth was a very Is it any pleasure to know that the bird small one. Then, the earth was bounded you thought was an eagle soaring against by the dim blue horizon where the world heavy clouds was only a chicken hawk ended, where people fell oflF if they were flying through stuff that not careful. Not even death could darken the same comes the future, for heaven was very near. from the spout of a teakettle? Then it

The trees reached the sky, and their was m3'sterious ; now it is a common- leaves whispered things about the glories place. These pleasures I had to give up thev saw. The stars were candles lighted for alwavs.

— 4 — My Philosophy of Work

Ferne Fetters

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

"'TTVERY man is as lazy as he dares "break" in life, whereas the other is de-

L-' to be" is an oft-quoted maxim. Per- lighted that he has a position and that haps the reason that all people do not he can honestly earn his bread. In the reveal the same amount of laziness is the correct philosophy toward work centers varying degree of sensitiveness in their the nucleus of personal happiness. consciences. Personally, I believe that Educated people have a better chance those people who work merely for work's for understanding the need for work and

sake are, indeed, scarce ; but the fact that for studying the benefits the individual many others do work despite their nega- receives from it. But the day laborer, tive inclinations, suggests their motiva- with his total ignorance of philosophies, tion by some inner or outer force. may bitterly deplore his state and make By a powerful will, many people man- himself perfectly miserable and inefficient age to overcome their antipathy for work by groping helplessly in the dark for an and to escape the designation of laziness. answer to his problem. Far happier is These individuals, fearing adverse pub- the workman who, luckily, does not ques- lic opinion or dreading poverty, try to tion the deeper principles of life, but conceal their deficiencies of ambition by who, without bothering his head about a seeming desire for labor. They are im- unexplainable conditions, enjoys the shal- pelled by the inner force of their char- lower pleasures meagerly meted out to acter. Others, not having so delicate a him. pride, are indifferent to society's attitude Not only manual laborers but even stu- toward them. Only through the driving dents should develop some tvpe of phi- power of an employer or superior who losophy adequate for their happiness. happens to be attracted to them are these What sort of philosophy a person de- dilatory human beings made to function velops to meet his demands matters not, actively in life. These latter persons are for individual needs vary. I do maintain, urged on by an outer force—by the force however, that each college student should of another one's character. have his own private attitude toward People have not only different incen- work. tives for working, as I have shown, but For my own part, I think the best phi- also different attitudes toward their losophy that I ever heard was expressed work. Why is one manual worker dull, by a lecturer to whom I recently listened. slovenly, and sullen, while another one, After talking of our present economic performing the same task, is interested, disorganization and the difficulties con- diligent, and cordial? The gulf between fronting ever3fone, he spoke a few words these two individuals lies, in all proba- that I have treasured ever since. Refer- bility, in their opposite ideas of labor. ring to the familiar biblical story of

The one thinks that he is being imposed Jesus, and Mary and Martha, sisters of upon by society and that he never gets a Lazarus, the speaker said, "Most of us

— 5- ? ¥

are sons of Martha—not of Mary. The the same day, a combination of three or great majority of us cannot sit and idly four themes, reports, and hour examina- worship as Mary did, but we must per- tions faces me, I square my shoulders and form, as Martha did, the actual, unde- console my self-pitying body that I must lightful tasks of life." expect such a lot, since I, too, am only So whenever my work begins to assume a formidable aspect, whenever, on a "daughter of Martha."

The Ice Wagon

C. R. Gairing

Theme 12, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THE blazing sun had forced us to take As soon as he started across the street, refuge in the cool shade of a chestnut we scrambled over the high hind wheels, tree. Here we were playing mumbly-peg or mounted the single step at the rear, when we first heard the creaking clatter into the wagon. We scooped up the cold

of the ice wagon, accompanied by the chips from the floor ; one boy even looked regular plodding of the horses' hoofs on under the heavy wet canvas which the dirt road. A loud "whoa-a-a" ended shielded the other cubes from the hot our game. We hastened toward the sun's rays, in search of larger pieces. familiar yellow wagon, as the shaggy, How cool these wet crystals were inside

unkempt horses came to a stop, and the our mouths ! Despite the dirt from the leather-vested iceman descended from bottom of the wagon, they were refresh- his high seat behind the horses. We ing on so hot a day. watched him jerk the ice tongs from their The clink of the ice tongs warned us hook on the side of the seat, and fol- of the iceman's approach. We clambered lowed him to the rear of the huge plank down to the ground and watched him box. The ice pick clicked on one large mount into the seat via the axle and iron- transparent cube, and the glistening chips shod rim of the front wheel. A few clucks

fell onto the wet, dirty planking which from the driver, and the wagon creaked floored the wagon. The cube suddenly off. Munching our ice chips, with the

broke, and half of it slithered tlirough the melting ice running down our arms to chips. The iceman seized this piece with our elbows, we stood watching the the tongs and, with a grunt, hoisted it to clumsy, lumbering vehicle slowly creak his shoulder. and clatter away.

f^'^^

— 6- r Etude

F. C. Arthur

Theme 7, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THE Missoula river is a lost river. It towns, fortunes, and respectability. treads heavily and restlessly through Country stores, country lawyers, and a countryside that has lost an old country doctors all flourished. The next serenity. Unheeding, the stream moves generation was still imbued with the past pattern-like corn fields. It is faced priceless spur of ambition. Clay was un-

by cliffs, and turns aside grimly, unearthed ; silica was found. Enterprising willingly, morbidly. The sun stands in men, with the aid of their fathers' money its old place and smiles at the water. The and position, built up factories, hired

water is an angry child ; it frowns darkly. labor, and turned out bricks and glass.

It is a lost child; it frowns wearily. No Nordlac was industrialized. A germ had sparkling riffles dimple its glum face, crept in. Years before, England had be- only soughing winds, noiseless swells. come industrialized. The country and

Lookout Rock still stands stiff and grand. the people were metamorphosed by the

But the grandeur is the grandeur of an Industrial Revolution. What reason was exiled prince. Shabby are its surround- there for a little Middle Western town

ings ; mean is its following. No eagles to follow England's footsteps? It was bank above its barren majesty. The songs mockery ; it was imitation. Men with of small birds pierce the stillness of the vision, men of respectability, were be- ravines no more. A toothpaste poster hind the move. Men with fat cigars, fat leers uneasily at a cigarette lithograph. bank accounts, and houses on the bluff Angered, repelled, the river twists and were the leaders of the glorious move- strains to escape. Off it goes on a tan- ment. They became rich. They wanted gent. to become richer.

Such is the river that runs througli No longer did they depend on the

Nordlac. It was a river of silver; it is a honest trade of honest farmers for their river of lead. The time was when stately income. They looked for labor, cheap

white columns were mirrored in its shin- labor ; for markets, good markets. The ing and peaceful breadth. There stand labor came. Dissatisfied farmers, slovenly those columns, those mansions, high vagabonds, and ignorant foreigners made upon the south bluff. They are sedate. up the incoming troop. They had heard They are respectable. Their owners col- of high wages. They worked long hours. lect antiques. Their owners are respect- Across tlie river from the tall houses the)' able. Their (jwners are the progeny of threw together their hovels. Down on the the restless men who came on the flood- muddy flat where the unlovely brick plant ing river to build a new settlement. sprawled they put up their shacks of New settlements used to be good busi- broken tile and brick. They brought ness propositions. The people who came squalor to Nordlac. They brought their down the river had nothing to divert brothels and their saloons. The highly their attention from the task of building respectable gentlemen who resided on the

— 7 — south blufif shot a cold, calculating glance were read, were frowned upon, and were at the situation and put in a stock of discussed in whispers. Some bright mem- shoddy clothes and moldy groceries. ber of the more sporty set of men came Business was good. People were build- back from the East with his head stuffed ing in Chicago. Bricks and glass were in with plans of fairways, bunkers, and constant demand. The men who stuffed greens. Fashionable Nordlac rushed to the bricks and blew the glass were free join the Country Club. A few of the with their hard-earned wages. Nordlac younger members of the study clubs prospered. heard reports on the popularity of Mah When Nordlac prospered Nordlacians Jong. With little hesitation they set out became conscious of their position. The to play Mah Jong, much to the detriment wives of the bluff-dwellers looked over of their study clubs and their studies. the way and turned up their noses at the Poor old Non Pro Nobis was on its last sight of red-faced women and numbers legs. In a year or two everyone who was of dirty little children. The women from anyone was playing bridge for so much the big white houses suddenly felt the a point. power of their money. They bought Last year the women who still col- clothes; they took on fads. This was lected antiques, and still tried to uphold natural. They were children playing with an ideal of culture, had the brilliant idea their pretty new toys. If one urchin has of having a real symphony concert in the more marbles than the next brat, he im- spacious auditorium of Nordlac's costly mediately considers himself a superior new high school. Civic pride and self- being. He has an urge to become lesss importance could only benefit from such patronizing, less friendly. He goes off a move. Accordingly, the Minneapolis to play by himself until he is met by Orchestra was given a contract to play a another boy who has more marbles than concert in Nordlac. Everyone felt it his he. My ladies of the older families of duty as a member of the intelligentsia to Nordlac began to be sharply aware of drive to the auditorium and sit waiting their superiority. Of course they were for the overture with a great deal of superior. They had distinction, culture, crackling of programs and not a little and understanding. Their husbands were impatience. Verrbrughen took his place not in the habit of dragging themselves on the rostrum, and the orchestra gave home drunk and exhausted. ... Of voice to Beethoven's Egmont. After polite course they drank, but they drank as and decorous applause, the audience gentlemen drink. They were not too par- settled back in their seats to listen to ticular where they chose their standards Tschaikowsky's Fifth Symphony. Here of gentlemanly conduct. and there was a person who was unable Birds of a feather flock together. The to keep from yawning ever so slightly. elegant women formed clubs. For a long They toyed with their watches or scru- time they had demure and dignified study tinized their programs while the musi- clubs. Erudite matrons racked their cians bent to their labor of love. All the brains for distinctive and original mot- somberness, all the majesty and tragedy toes and names. Thus sprang into exist- of the river that was flowing past the ence such organizations as Non Pro hall was echoed and re-echoed by the Nobis or Not for Ourselves. Wild and pulsations of the orchestra. Shimmering wonderful subjects were studied. Books strings, strident brasses, reeds, and the

— 8 — mellow harp sang together in a vast and with music. Music is beauty, music is

sorrowful lamentation. Colors, nuances, idealism, music is profound sj'mpathy. and shadings trembled over the racks of The people of the factories were and are the orchestra. Beauty and peace united denied the solace of music. No one so in the brighter and more cheerful major much as thinks about a community in of the finale. A sermon had been which graceful thoughts and a love of preached; the musicians had given their beauty are the guides of the citizens. Oh

souls. While the crowd filed out amidst no ! Everyone is too busy talking about an orderly hum, the violinists, the clari- the glass factory. Five hundred more men

netists, and the rest packed up to go to were laid off to-day. There is no future an unlovely hotel and but a poor night's but one of misery for those who must rest. earn their bread in the factory. The What of the people who worked in the people over there on the south bluff can-

factories? W' ere they at the concert ? Of not do much about the situation. There

course not. They did not possess that is no market for glass. They must close marvelous appreciation of the higher down and save money. They shrug their things of life which was so admirably shoulders and drive to the club for din- shown by the insipid listeners at the con- ner in their new Packards. The glass in- cert. They, poor people, stayed at home dustry seems to be a trifle overdeveloped. and had a capital evening listening to It is fortunate that they have their in- their super radios. They could not afford heritances, is it not ? to go to a real concert. The people on the The river is sullen to-day. Sewage and south bluff had been careful to keep the more sewage has been dumped in it. It concert on what they considered the cor- mutters softly as it moves slowly past the rect basis. Wonderful things can be done lower brick plant.

— 9 — —

The Isle of the Dead

Charles Gibian

Theme 3, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

THERE is no more gruesome and less wonder if this music could possibly bear colorful painting than the one called any relationship to that somber painting the Isle of the Dead. It so completel}- ex- on my wall. While waiting for the piece presses one man's impression of a land to commence, I meditated upon the fact of death that it is considered the finest that I had never been able to grasp the of art. In it one sees in the midst of a full significance of certain music which motionless expanse of water an island, I knew was beautiful. Painting, sculp- the entrance to which is a cold, grey stone ture, architecture — I could appreciate gate, more grotesque in shape than any- them because I could understand in a

thing ever seen by man in the living measure what the artist was driving at, world. Towering trees of imaginative but most of the best music rebounded proportions guard in a stately, silent from my sensibilities like hail from a fashion this realm of departed souls. roof. But then the symphony began. At

There is no variety here, no night and that very moment the cloud of incompre- day, no time, no petty cares or ambitions hensibility began to lift, and I felt myself ; it is a state of being rather than a scene, taken into the confidence of another great and words cannot express its greatness artist. Not all of a sudden did this in being so. awakening take place, but gently as the

I have known this picture as long as music progressed and as I gazed at my

I can remember and, more recently, have picture. loved and respected it deeply. It has a Into the world of imagination I began strange capacity for taking one out of a to sink until the objects about my room small world of reality into a larger, more no longer seemed to be there. I was in a

fascinating one of imagination, and I boat, gliding silently through the motion-

used to gaze at it in leisure moments, less pool of water into the mist. Slowly drift, and imagine. I came to know it as the island took form in the distance, as a means of escape and, consequently, be- a new strain entered into the music. Now came more and more attached to it as I could see the tall trees, more imposing

time went on. It was not until my fif- than I had ever imagined them before, teenth year, however, that I discovered now the great massive gate, now the the real depths of its greatness. rocks on the shore, and all the time I was

I was sitting in my room one night conscious of the crescendos and dimin- during a brief vacation from school, uendos in the music, and of an emotional brooding with all the profound serious- rise and fall within myself corresponding

ness of one just launched upon a high to each of them ; each progression de- school career, when a voice from a radio picted a new doubt, an anixety, an im- in the next room announced the presen- pulse, each strain told of a new fear as tation of a symphony by RachmaninofT I sat there in the boat and wondered at

Isle of the Dead. I immediately began to the strangeness of it all. Gradually the

10- —; r I

music progressed towards its climax, and The music ended there. I looked just as gradually, I approached the mys- around the room and then again at the terious island. With each minute an in-

picture ; it seemed far away, but that born fear of death rose higher and higher witliin me. All material things back there mighty sjTnphony was still beating in my

in the living world seemed small now ears. A few days later, as I was prepar- petty wants, achievements, ambitions ing to return to school, I stole another nothing was important now but to live, glance at the painting on my wall. I knew and as the mighty gates swung open, and then that I would always love it for what the music reached its climax, my soul

fairlj' shrieked in despair. it taught me during that holida}'.

Hidden Treasure

G. D. Weisiger

Theme 18, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

XT EAR New Haven, Connecticut, a other gang of boys of about our own -^ ^ range of foot-hills comes down to age. These two gangs continually waged Long Island Sound, leaving a ragged line war for the complete possession of the of cliffs overhanging the beach. On and Swamp. Although it was large enough hills around these and on the beach of for all of us, it served at the same time Long Island Sound my brother and I, for something over which to fight. The with four of the neighbor boys, used to other gang also had boats, belonging to play a which called Pirate. game we the father of one of the boys, and in Treasure in the of ordinary form red those boats they used to meet us half bricks and three or four row boats, which way in the swamp and fight pitched bat- we were permitted to use, was all the tles with us. A ducking was not unusual equipment needed to make such a game for one or all of us, but was in no way unusually attractive to small boys be- dangerous. The .Swamp was in only two tween the ages of ten and fourteen. I or three places more than three feet deep, have no doubt that the game is played and those places we avoided by agree- by the boys there now just as it was ment. Sometimes we would hide a "treas- played by us nine years ago and as it ure" nearby, and then challenge the other had been played for years before that. gang to go and find it. Very often we Our little gang of six boys was not, would have some neutral person hide the however, in full possession of the beach, treasure and then each of our gangs the hills, and the little body of sheltered would try to be the first to find it. Some water which we called the Swamp. This of those hunts would last for several swamp was in realitj' a broad river mouth, protected by a projection of land days before the treasure was finally from Long Island Sound, and shallow discovered.

enough to be safe for boys to play in. All In any sea-coast town there is always of this plaj- ground w^e shared with an- to be found some old fisherman who de-

— 11 I^X

lights in telling tales of the sea to any One da}' when our enthusiasm was

boys who are willing to listen ; and most unusually high, one of our boys ran up to boys are only too glad to listen when us and showed us a piece of paper which some old "salt" starts to unwind a tale. he declared was a map of the surround- This little town on Long Island Sound ing countr}', and which he was sure was no exception. Sam Long was the would lead us to the hidden treasure. oldest and had had the most experience It was an old, dirty piece of paper of any of the fishermen who daily which we concluded to be parchment,

fished from the pier. His favorite story though I doubt now if it was. A crude had to do with real treasure, which had map which was certainly a map of that been buried somewhere (he didn't know very vicinity in which we lived and with the exact spot) within a few hundred which we were familiar, had been traced yards of the very pier from which he on the paper. At a point about a mile up fished. About two hundred years or more Oyster Creek there was a cross on the ago an old sea captain, commanding a map. This, naturally, we thought was merchant ship for a New York City com- the hiding place of the treasure. Luckily pany, had disobeyed his orders and had the gang to which I belonged had pos-

engaged in a little piracy on the high session of the map ; so the other gang seas. Not wanting to be caught with the was not in on this new adventure. We

treasure on board when he landed in kept our plans to ourselves, and it wasn't

New York, he had brought it ashore and until our adventure was all over that the

buried it among the rocks somewhere other gang heard of it. The next Satur- within sight of the place where we were day morning we set out, with shovels hearing the story. No sooner had he re- and a pick, for the place designated by turned to his ship from hiding the treas- the cross on the map. There we found ure, however, than a storm blew up and a small cave, formed by a large over- carried his ship against some rocks, hanging rock, but no amount of digging

where it and all but one boy of the crew and searching would reveal the treasure. perished. The story, according to the old The next morning we found old Sam fisherman, had been preserved by the Long at his usual place on the pier. We cabin boy, the only one of the crew to showed him our map and told him what survive. Not having gone ashore with we had done. He seemed unusually the captain to hide the treasure, the cabin pleased and offered to help us out with a

boy was unable to locate it, though he few suggestions. Sam said that it was searched the wreck of the ship years later not probable that the treasure was at that and examined every inch of the beach for particular place. "Pirates," he said, as much as a mile in each direction. Sam "never made things that easy." That was Long swore that his stor}' was in every a place where we would no doubt find respect true, and others said the same another clew. And, sure enough, a few

thing ; so our two gangs were firmly con- days later we found another piece of vinced that there was real buried treas- paper in an old bottle which was tucked

ure within our reach. We naturally set away in an old hollow tree. But it was

out to find it. This treasure was the sub- just plain paper, a little dirty, with no

ject of all of our discussions, and a large marks on it at all. part of our spare time was spent in hunt- Again we went to Sam for help. "Try ing for clews that might lead to our find- a little heat," he advised. We took the ing the hiding place of the treasure. paper to the home of one of the boys

— 12 — and put it into the kitchen oven. When had found it and left in disgust, de-

it came out, it was covered with brown termined to give up the hunt. We were markings. A few minutes more in the sure that the treasure had been found

oven and a map appeared pkiinly on the long ago, or that it had never existed in paper. This map directed us to another the first place, and we were not going to spot, this time on the beach, to which we waste our time trying to find something

went with as little dela}' as possible. which was not to be found. There, after several hours of searching, About a week later we ran onto Sam we found a large tlat boulder on which Long on the street. He asked us how we had been carved with a sharp tool the were getting along with our treasure name, "Devil's Point." hunt, and seemed to be sorry that we had

As none of us had heard of Devil's given it up. We told him that all we had Point, we went again to Sam for help. found at Devil's Point had been an old Devil's Point turned out to be a large piece of iron pipe. We said that we pile of stones some distance out in the doubted if there had ever been a treasure

Sound. At high tide it was completely there. Sam seemed anxious for us to surrounded b}- water, but during low tide go on with our quest, and asked us if

it was connected with the beach by a we didn't think that that iron pipe might sand-bar. As we had often played there, contain a clew to the treasure. This the place was not unfamiliar to us ; so thought had never occurred to us before ; as soon as the tide went out, we, with our so we decided to dig it up again and see pick and our shovels, went to Devil's what it amounted to. Point and started to dig. Each evening We found the pipe and pushed out the after school for several days we dug tip ends. It contained another paper which the sand around the rocks, but there was was a note signed b}' Sam Long. It ex- no treasure. The only fruit of our labors plained what the treasure was and how to was a short piece of iron pipe, stopped get it. The treasure was an all day fish- up with sand and mud at each end. We ing trip to Long Island in Sam Long's threw that pipe into the hole where we motor boat.

The Brass Pig

G. W. James

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

IN the city of Shanghai, brass is omni- consider more suitable. In such surround- present. Since it has no close comings the brass pig, sitting on a counter in petitors in cost and is susceptible to the a certain place of business, is but a dies and cutting tools of the native metal brazen figure. P>ut the seeing eye per- worker, it replaces, for many purposes, ceives that beneath the metallic hide of other metals which westerners would this obese animal there rests a spiritual

13- y^

portion of its being. The close observer with his eye on the cash register and his

must come eventually to realize that the ears alert for its bell. This is no ordi-

oriental craftsman of whose hands this nary barnyard animal. This is a pig who astute swine is a product must have has accepted Confucius' ancient teaching granted it an inheritance of Chinese" of service to the people. He knows that guile. there are no small coins in big money, This animal's shrewdness is directed and that change from purchases made against not the people who gave him ex- with paper money will always include istence but at the stupid occidentals who, some coppers which will be too heavy a after purchase and finding making a load for the Caucasian's pocket, and that themselves with a handful of coppers, are the clerk will not accept them for return at loss to know what to do with them. to the cash register. He knows also that These barbarians in their opulence feel they will not be carried outside to be that a half-pound of coins which will not thrown to the street urchins, for such an buy even one good cigar is not worth action would create for the thrower a carrying; so they seek a graceful means juvenile escort which would follow him of disposing of them. This means is many blocks in the hope of other such always provided by the Brass Pig, who displays of generosity. invariably reposes nearby beneath a neat Thus, our inanimate but wily image of sign reading: YOUR PENNIES HERE the despicable porker knows that his in- FOR THE LEPERS. This sign is usu- terior, though frequently emptied and the ally greeted with a smile by the "foreign contents sent on their mission of mercy, devil," who cheerfully and gratefully in- will not long remain empty. For the serts his coppers in the slot on the pig's coppers, so annoying to the for- back. heavy incessant series The tingling sound of coins falling into eigner, will fall with an his cavernous stomach seems to affect the of clinks into his rotund body to help animal for he stirs ever so slightly, like relieve in some measure the suffering of a fat man in his sleep. Then his compla- the thousands of lepers who walk the cent smile returns and he settles back streets of the great citv.

— 14- On the Loss of a Room

R. F. Fisher

ThetiK 4, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

WAS just fourteen years old and so put a study table in one corner. On this I mean that I couldn't get into the Boy table stood a bottle of red ink, as well Scouts. Naturally I had known most of as my few text books. That bottle of ink the tragedies of boyhood. My dog had was a great joy to me as it symbolized been run over and killed, my pet rabbit all that pertained to college. All of my had escaped and had been eaten by a dog, belongings were in the room. I had the and all the rest. I always cried for an feeling that I was going away to school hour or so and then forgot as something and living away from home. It was truly else began to interest me. Then came the a room of my dreams. big tragedy. It broke my heart so com- One day on coming home from school pletely I still feel tears come to my eyes I found Mother moving all my things when I think of it. A seemingly trivial into another room. She had rented "my thing, it meant more to me than an3^hing room" to an old family friend geing to —more than death in the famil}' pos- school at the university. I was broken sibly could. hearted, and for weeks afterwards I At the time of the tragedy we were would sneak in while the friend was out, living in a small house in a college town. to picture my old room as it used to be. The building faced east and the east Soon afterwards we moved to another room upstairs extended the full width city, and I was glad to go. I hated the of it. This room had been allotted to me, house after losing that room. and I was certainly proud of it. I de- It is said that boys are not sentimental, cided to make it a t}T)ical college room. but I disagree. The loss of that room

I covered the walls with pennants and still remains the greatest in my life.

Our Arabian Nights

H. C. Blankmeyer

Theme 6, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

SINCE ten-thirty Scheherazade's spirit let of interrogations graced by the title had pervaded the entire house. It "Laboratory Exercises" and turned an was at that intermediate hour of the attentive ear to this welcome interrup- evening that Wally had slipped into my tion. Between rapid pufifs of smoke, room for a conference on analytics, in- Wally outlined his opinion of college pro- cidentally cramming his stubby briar full fessors as slave drivers, in no uncertain of my dwindling reserve of choice to- terms. As I joined in enthusiastically bacco. I pushed aside the bound pamph- with colorful illustrations, J. Quinlan

— 15 — y^

Macmurray shuffled in, his carmine shp- cuss the School of Liberal Arts, its pur- pers rusthng over the worn fibre rug, and pose, and its enrollment. Why was So- deposited his Scientific German Reader, and-So in this school, and what could he closed, on top of Wally's neglected ge- possibly get out of it? The forum was ometry book. He flipped the ash of his now in full swing and progressed rapidly cigarette carefully into my dog's water as the topics shifted to success, friend- pan and remarked abruptly that seven ship, love, and philosophy. By two hours spent in school, ten in study, and o'clock we were all yawning, and though

two at meals totalled nineteen, leaving still mentally alert, we adjourned the ses- five hours a day for sleep, diversion, ex- sion and sought our beds. ercise, and letter-writing. "A program," A wasted evening, you say? We must he concluded bitterly, "that approaches acquiesce when we consider how little monotony after the first few weeks of studying was accomplished for the mor- applying it." row, but on the other hand, was there "Well," I rejoined, are you in "Why nothing meritorious about our evening's school?" Instantly I regretted my inad- conversation? Decidedly, yes. These vertent question, but too late to be of any rambling, informal chats are to us what avail. The "session" was on and study- the coffee-houses were to Elizabethan ing was unquestionably dropped from the England, or famous salons to aristocratic evening's program, for we had all begun France. We have no tutors to confirm a discussion familiar to every under- or refute our conclusions; so we turn to graduate: Why am I attending college? each other for advice. We balance each This is a popular subject among us stu- view with the other and arrive at some dents because it affords innumerable op- definite conclusion upon the subject portunities to switch the conversation to under discussion. We summon up un- one's own interests. We disposed of the developed ideas that have long lain in actual question perfunctorily and has- dormant obscurity within our minds, tened on to the cold-blooded task of as- merely because we have had no stimulus signing economic values to our individual to crystalize them. Above all, we are be- courses. Science, mathematics, and the for what does it matter modern languages were rated highly, coming educated, Prout's while rhetoric and history were con- whether we can recite verbatim demned to unanimous disapproval. We hypothesis of matter if we have formed engineers could find but few real values in the course of these few "wasted" in the latter courses with regard to our as- hours the nucleus of our philosophy of pired vocations. Hence, we began to dis- life?

-16- College Capers

Louis Plambeck, Jr.

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

THE widely circulated impression eight thousand students faithfully studied among outsiders that university life their lessons for the next day. alumni a great deal to do is one "rah-rah" time after another is at The have to of the last beginning to lose a few of its fol- with the credence given some tales emanate from college towns. lowers, but those who still believe that which are always more ready college capers are the rule rather than The old "grads" to tell of the time when they crashed a the exception are still numerous enough theater or derailed a trolley car than they to merit a little special attention. It may are to tell of the times when they strug- be said in defense of these people that gled against sleep to prepare for a quiz they are not entirely to blame for the im- or to write a theme. It is the omission pressions they have received as a result of such minor details as these which helps of the notoriety given to college esca- to throw a cloak of mild piracy or in- pades in recent years. sanity around the otherwise serious busi- The general public's impression of uni- ness of getting an education. versity students and their way of living In reality the amount of horseplay that has undoubtedly arisen from a number takes place is almost negligible when of causes. The first and probably most compared with the actual work that is important of these is that there really is done. In a university such as Illinois a a basis in fact for some of the ideas. student must do a certain amount of The saying, "Where there is smoke there work in order to stay in school. If the must be fire," is very true in this case. students actualh' did everything that The mere fact, however, that a very some people think they do, most of them small amount of fire may cause a great would not have time to do any studying. deal of smoke has not been considered It is unfortunate that so many future fullv in this particular instance. For this Illinois students who are visitors during reason a mere smolder at a university the high school press convention and dur- gets as much attention as if it were a ing Interscholastic week get the impres- raging conflagration. People are often sion that Illinois is one big play-ground, apt to believe the unusual thing is the no matter how much they are told to the usual thing if they read or hear enough contrary. No one in particular is to blame about unusual things. In reading any for creating these impressions, which I it is that a newspaper wise to consider think arise from the natural desire to goodly portion of news is news merely make the guests welcome and to cater to

because it is unusual or extraordinary. their every wish. I believe that it is a In this connection it is easy to under- fact that many freshmen who have stand why such a happening as breaking visited the university before are greatly a few hundred street lamps is going to shocked when they find that they most get more publicity than the fact that certainly are expected to work.

• 17 — y3

The Value of Pessimism

V. G. Meadors

Theme 6, Rhetoric I. 1931-22

PESSIMISM is usually defined as the errors among the problems. Moreover, tendency to look on the dark side of when the instructor confronts me with life. A common fallacy derived from this my mistakes, I take the attitude that they definition is that pessimism is always were exceptional and will not occur

coupled with an attitude of cynicism and again. This is the optimist's greatest mis- hopelessness. A pessimist, to most people, take. The most obvious errors will occur

is a person who seeks out the bad points again and again unless care is taken to

of what has gone before and takes it for prevent them.

granted that the same mistakes will oc- If I am a pessimist, however, I will cur again. When spoken of in this strict check my problems before hand. In ad- sense, pessimism certainly has no value dition, when the instructor points out my other than a detrimental one. mistakes, I will take precautions to pre- My idea of true pessimism, however, is vent their recurrence. I realize my somewhat different from the above. To weak points and know that what I have

me, an attitude of pessimism is almost done once I can do again. Therefore I, siiTion}Tnous with one of resolution. A as a pessimist, have an advantage over

pessimist is one who can see former mis- the optimist.

takes (either his or others) and resolve From this example it maj' be seen that

to correct them, even if he has but slight the value of pessimism lies in the tinge

faith in his ability to do so. An optimist of optimism which should underlie it.

usually rests secure in his belief that he is This seeming paradox may be explained better than the average. As a result, he in this way. The deep, dyed-in-the-wool

makes little effort for improvement, and, pessimism that sees bad in everything

since he does not advance, it is axiomatic without attempting to correct the evil is that he degenerates. The optimist is often valueless. Instead of the pessimism that

disappointed, the pessimist rarely. discourages, I advocate the pessimism

For instance, let us suppose that I am that encourages its possessor to caution. required to hand in an algebra paper. If Such pessimism may almost be identified

I am an optimist, I assume that my prob- with conservatism. Pessimism, in this lems are correct and hand them in, per- sense, acts as a governor for every phase

haps without checking them. If I do this, of life, and as such I believe it to be in- there will probably be several obvious valuable.

^18 — ! I y

The Romance of Our Trains

Mary V. Cady

Theme 3, Impromptu, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

WE had just moved to Arkansas and appearing until it finally faded to a speck were looking at houses—that is, and then was gone. Mother and Father were. I was too small Who knows what loads those trains to have my opinion count. We were were carrying? Princes of industry there standing on the front porch of a house were, and paupers riding the rails; little on the side of a hill. The view to the old ladies sitting in their chairs placidly south was all one could hope for—wide waiting for whatever fate had to bestow valleys and low hills, gorgeous in their upon them, and young girls going to the autumn coloring. Mother and Father big city to seek their fortune. And the were undecided about the house. It letters that were carried in the mail car wasn't very modern and many repairs Letters of blackmail, of love and hate; to in the would have be made. Then out letters of dear ones who were soon to distance, far, far the valley a curl down be together again; letters from a boy in of smoke appeared, and heard the we the great city to his mother back home; faint distant whistle of a train. We letters that were to go all around the looked closer. There, far out in the world and back again. valley came a miniature train, creeping Whenever I see a train rushing by in across the level plain below. But a the night, it makes me want to go, to get moment more and then it curved out of away from the drab, ordinary, everyday sight behind a low hill. We watched and existence. I want to go where there are waited, hoping it would reappear. Sure bright lights, and then where there are enough, there it came, much closer. Out cool shadows with a blue sky overhead. from behind the nearest hill it came, I dream of wandering where there are curving around its foot and racing across icy blue lakes with towering snow-cap- the valley only to disappear forever be- ped mountains, and again where there hind the next hill. There was no doubt are low plains with the grain undulating now whether or not this house should be in the everlasting wind. Some day I in- ours. All through my childhood one of tend to see these things. Who knows, my most vivid memories is of the times maybe when Mother and Father bought when I would be awakened at night by the sound of one of those fairy trains and that little house down there on the side of the hill, they saw the visions that a would dash to the window to see it oflf in the distance, a gossamer thread of winding train would put into their little light, getting farther away, growing girl's head, and they would have it that smaller and smaller, appearing and dis- way.

— 19 — ! ! ! ;;

A Change of Heart

William E. Rapp

Theme 2, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

WALKED down to Urbana today—to Today, as I approached the glaring 1 see a show. I set out alone—to the postboards above the theater, I thought "Bucket," the only moviehouse in town. 1 shall be that youngster again. Once

As I journeyed up Illinois Street, I re- more I shall go back to the land of make- called the times when my friends and I, believe. I shall worship anew the cowboy not yet out of grade school, considered a real hero seeing Tom Mix, in a thrilling "West- I got in line to pay for admission. ern," the event of a lifetime. On our way, Reaching in my pocket for a nickel, I we would imagine ourselves the heroes suddenly realized that I must pay a dime of the hour—that we were the riders of more—the penalty for growing older and a winged horse, in pursuit of a dirty vil- for a foot of added height. Eagerly, full lain, to rescue the fair damsel. As we of anticipation, I pushed and shoved in neared the theater, our pace quickened. line anxious as I was to gain a At the door we gladly paid our nickels seat in the front row and then rushed down the aisle, in a wild Five till two and, sitting upright on the scramble for a front seat. Five till two, edge of my seat, I began to clap. No one and restless hands began staccato clap- else, it seemed, felt the urge to join me. ping, as if to hurry the operator! My nearer neighbors cast glances of pity On the screen flashed "International in my direction. It was .too bad I could

News." Again we clapped — violently. not read the clock ! My clapping, steadily We whistled, laughed, and shouted, but weakening, gradually ceased. A trifle no less than others in the audience. Gee, disappointed, I sank lower into my seat, we wished the advertisements would not quite sure that the half darkness con- come to a conclusion. At last, the feature ! cealed my flaming face. In silent awe, we sat as Tom, our hero, I continued to sulk until the lights came riding gallantly out of the Bar X were out, indicating that the show had ranch in search of Dan McGuire, killer commenced. When "Pathe News" flashed of men. A quick gasp—a shot whistled on the screen, I ventured a whistle. The b}' Tom's ear warning him of the villain's boys in my row gaped in amazement presence. Now we rode with Tom as he then they became angry. What manner raced over hills and through canyons to of person is this, they thought, who seek vengeance. We helped Tom throw whistles in a theater? his lasso—we yelled to him when he was When finally the feature appeared, I I in danger ! And now, the climax decided to make one last attempt. Tom, after an exciting battle on the edge stamped my feet in an even rhythm of a high cliff, conquered and returned, I pounded them heavily on the wooden the conquering hero, to the heroine's floor. Achieving no accompaniment, I waiting—eager—outstretched arms glanced hastily in the direction of my

— 20- ! ;

comrades. To my surprise, the seats were nearly so fast either. Instead of fighting empty-. My disdainful neighbors had left. on the edge of a high cliff as in the early In the aisle, an usher was looking coldly days, Tom generously disposed of his demonstrations in my direction ; evidently victim by throwing him down a well. tolerated such as these were not to be And there, not twenty yards from the at this moviehouse. battle-ground, sat the heroine in a nice, Today, unlike the hero of seven years new shiny roadster, ready to whisk Tom ago, Tom talked to me. In a booming, away eloquent voice, he swore by all that's holy I got up and left. My illusions were that he would get Dan McGuire, killer shattered, my dreams destroyed. I had of men! Tom, the idol of my youthful grown up. The carefree schoolboy left, imagination, had changed ; he rode his disillusioned sophisti- horse limply as if he were tired a literal-minded, of riding after villains. He didn't ride cate.

Anton

Elinor Davis

Theme 18, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

ANTON did not want to lose his ticket. July 4, 1931," before he stuffed it further He had felt for its wilted reassur- into the cavernous depths of his purse. ance only five minutes before, but once The train would leave now in fifteen again he took the withered old billfold minutes ; he had better get on so that he from the back of his colorless pants and would be sure not to miss it. There was felt fearfully around for it. A cracked no hurry, really, he told himself—nobody- forefinger touched it, and he held it close else seemed in a hurr}' to "catch" it. But to his face to read once again that it was could not force himself to really "good for one passenger, leaving somehow he Chicago not later than 10:30, Sunday, wait quietly outside as the others did

-21 ~ ! —;

he felt safer inside the great monster, so side and sank into a chair. Well, he had strangely quiet as it sat there. always wanted to see Chicago, and the It was very hot in the day-coach. His excursion was cheap. But there had been nondescript coat he had suffered till noon, so many people, and they had brushed by but now it was folded across his arm. and never had spoken nor smiled. He He thought as he unloaded his bundles turned not at all at his wife's entrance. and laid his coat carefully on top of "Well, Anton, did you have a good them, that he would walk to the fountain time in Chicago?" and drink out of one of those little paper "Yes, but oh, Margaret— I'm glad cups instead of the tin, collapsible one to be home!" he had brought. His wife was probably "After just a day? What all did vou bent over the kitchen table "making up" do?" tomorrow's bread, dipping water from "Well, I got there at almost noon, and the bucket at her side. He took the sat down and ate my lunch. Those sand- splashing cup to his seat and opened the wiches were good!" almost empty paper bag that his wife had "Why you haven't ate hardly any." filled with sandwiches for him to eat on "Well, the children you know, they his excursion. He opened the dirty, like sandwiches." crumpled edges and eyed the remaining "Aren't you pret'near starved? Come food hungrily : he would eat only one on, I'll build a little fire and fry you an he would save the rest for the children egg the hens laid real good today. they loved sandwiches and didn't get What all did you see?" them often. He wondered while he "Oh, just a lot of people. None of washed down his bites with the flat water 'em would ever talk to you or anything. how it would seem to eat in the "diner" One man got real cross. I asked him and have the food served to him by one what Chicago was going to do with their of those "niggers" with the white coats. crime. He was a setting alongside of me He put his head on the back of the there on the bench. One man, though, seat and longed for his old iron bed at was selling pencils and things. He didn't home with the steady, quiet noise of the have any legs and sat on the floor. He frogs and the deathly stillness of the lo- was real friendly. He said his wife was custs, instead of this din of raucous going to have a baby. I felt kinda sorry voices from the smoke-laden air, and the for him. He didn't know where he was incessant grind of the wheels on the rails. going to get his next bite to eat. I give I This was still Chicago ! him one of the sandwiches. Then had The conductor's rough voice woke him twenty cents left an' I give him that too. with a start. It was late, after midnight, I sorta wanted to git the kids some pea- maybe. The train seemed to be going nuts with that, but I guess he needed it

even faster as it slowed down: ".St. Elmo pretty bad. They had awful big peanuts —next stop. St. Elmo!" He stood on there, though. I bought you a little some- the platform and watched the cars whiz thing it ain't much. They had stores by—Chicago in there, too. They had everything. God, His crunching footsteps dropped into it was big." the stillness of the empty streets. His "It? What was big?" house appeared, flat-roofed and shapeless "Oh, the station. I just stayed in there. behind the lilac bushes. He opened the Plenty to see right in there, I tell you. I unlocked door and set everything just in- might of got lost and missed my train."

-22- The Hospital

Stewart Wright

Theme 15, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THERE were puddles of mud on the hospital employees gave Red a disgusted brick pavement of the alley at the side look and terse directions for finding Mr. of the hospital. The puddles were so Duval: "Three flights down, and holler spaced that a wary pedestrian of experi- for Jake." ence could avoid splashes from the busy As he started down the third flight truck traffic. A red haired youth clad of concrete steps. Red had the impres- in a greasy cap, purple worsted suit, blue sion of entering, literally and figuratively, denim shirt open at the collar, and brown the lower regions. Up the stairway re- tennis shoes, sat on a fire hydrant at the verberated the crashing of the contac- entrance to the alley and appraised the tors on the elevator machines. Elevator spurts and starts of the pedestrians that motors growled in starting, whined at emerged. The human units in this strag- high pitch, then ground to a stop. Water gling parade were members of the hos- gurgled through pipes. As Red descended pital staff coming from the pay-olf win- the stairs, a steel scoop grated across dow. It was Saturday noon, and they concrete somewhere, lumps of coal rat- were hurrying away to spend their tled onto the floor, and suddenly a lurid money. Red, from his seat on the hy- glare threw Red's profile onto the wall drant, was looking for employees walk- at his side. At the far end of the base- ing off the job. Hopefully he surveyed ment a fat Beelzebub in dirty white duck them all. Nurses, dietitians, dishwash- pants and a red flannel undershirt stoked ers, chefs, elevator girls, window wash- the everlasting fires in a locomotive-type ers, scrubwomen, student nurses, bus boiler for heating the hospital. boys—all seemed to be leaving with the Red hurried carefully along a narrow determination to be back at midnight. walk-way between the line of crashing, But finally a short, round man dodged arcing, elevator machines and a row of onto the sidewalk from behind a bakery whirring centrifugal pumps toward Beel- truck. He carried a roll of work clothes zebub. under his arm, and in his eyes was the "You Jake?" light of liberty. It was dull, and it was " 'F you think you can do hospital alcoholic, but it was there. Red was off work, take that Plumber's Friend up to the hydrant and walking in step beside the eighth floor and unplug their toilet. him. Nurse'U show you." "How's for a job. Shorty?" Red's Red's mouth closed on the question he thumb jerked toward the hospital. was just forming about pay. He picked " 'Sistant Engineer's open. See Mr. up the implement pointed out by Jake, Duval." And Shorty went on up the side- laid his purple coat on a dusty bench walk. strewn with pipe fittings in wild disorder, The doorman at the allev entrance for and departed for the eighth floor. While

-23- a f/

he was gone, Beelzebub visited the drain was flowing so slowly as to hold kitchen two floors above, on some mys- up the work. The final operation was to terious mission. lift the basket out of the cradle and place

"Nurse oughta know betternta throw it on a drain-board to the right. Then dressings down there"—Red was trying a bus boy would come and take the dishes to get Jake to talk when he got back with out of the basket and carry them away his short stick with the cone of rubber on a tray. Red watched the dishwasher attached to the end. and wished he could get his job. Replied Jake, "Dishwasher's sink drain Finally the tubercular-looking man stopped up. Second floor above. Tape's pointed under the sink and said, "Under under the bench." there. Take the plug outta that tee." Red pawed for a while under the bench Red knelt down under the sink. He upon which he had previously laid his was not kneeling on the real floor, but coat. Finally, under the pile of short upon a false floor of wooden slats raised lengths of pipe, scraps of rubber gasket, an inch or so, made necessary by the and old valves, he found the "tape"— amount of water splashed around during steel ribbon about an inch wide, a six- the operation of scalding the dishes. teenth of an inch thick, and perhaps There seemed to be a few roaches crawl- thirty feet long, with one end bent ing under the slats. As the dishwasher around to form a small hook. With this shifted his weight in rocking his cradle coiled up over his shoulder he mounted to and fro, water oozed from the seams the two flights of stairs specified b}' Jake, of his shoes. The dishwasher did not wandered through the vegetable cook's wear socks. Red unscrewed the plug kitchen and the salad room, until he from the tee with his fingers and in- finall}- emerged into the cubbyhole dedi- serted the hooked end of the steel tape. cated to the dishwasher's art. It shoved easily for a few feet, and then A tall, thin, tubercular-looking man in struck some obstruction. By shoving a uniform that had once been white and vigorously against the obstruction, pull- a red rubber apron stood at the dish- ing the tape back, and then shoving washer's sink. He took dirty glassware again. Red finally opened the pipe. The and crockery from trays shoved at him smell was not pleasant. When he pulled through an arched opening in the wall the tape back out, the hooked end

at his left and placed it in a woven-wire brought with it a human ear. Something basket he mysteriously produced from inside Red's abdomen flopped over and under a shelf below the arched opening. kicked. Then he would lift the wire basket into A few minutes later Red was saying to a wooden cradle arranged on trunnion Jake, "You can get your tape up there

bearings so it could be rocked to and fro under the dishwasher's sink. I'm goin' in the sink, which was filled with enough back to my old job diggin' graves in soapy water to submerge the dishes while the Bronx Jewish Cemetery." they were being rocked. After he had As Red w-ent up the stairs, pulling on rocked the dishes a while, he would let the purple coat, Jake mused, "If they

the water out of the sink and scald the don't eat up that ear gag, they ain't fit for dishes with hot water from a hose. The hospital work."

— 24- Danger Enough lor a Day

William Judy

Theme IS, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

SAT gazing idly into the muddy that rain. Wish I had brought a line I waters of the river. I looked at the along." sky—a mass of greyish black clouds As I absently chewed on a couple of which threatened more rain. It was a blades of grass and regarded him, I felt miserable day, and I was having a miser- he was not entirely dissatisfied with our

able time. I asked myself why I had situation, for I saw him cast frequent come sixty miles with an automobile- glances at one or two of the older girls load of dull girl scouts who constantly of the party. I was a little angry at him gushed silly anticipations of the coming for giving them such attention. It was week's camp. beneath the dignity of "men" like us to That morning my mother had been make any show of frivolity at a time like asked to take some of the girls to the this, I decided. I would have vehemently camp, and I had decided to go along. denied that I would think differently

It had rained nearly all the way in an about such matters when I became as old incessant, dreary downpour which had as Clarence. ceased only a few minutes before our In an attempt to draw his attention trip ended. We had come to a kind of back to me, I pointed my finger upstream park or unimpressive summer resort and said: "Pretty high railroad bridge, known as Mackinaw Dells. The girls isn't it? How'd you like to dive off were to spend the day here, and in the that?"

evening go on to their camp, which was "Not very well. Say, I bet it's over in readiness for them. seventy-five feet high." And he scruti-

Upon reaching the park I had deserted nized it closely. "Look at those embank- the girls to attach myself to an older boy. ments on both sides. Boy, they're 'way

Clarence S , who had also accom- above the river!" panied his mother on the trip. We were It was an unusual bridge for that part a pair of rather disgruntled males in an of the country—a prairie region with atmosphere of feminine gaiety. We had few elevations. The structure, of sturdy taken ourselves off to the rain-swollen blackened timbers, supported a single river which, with its clay banks and swift track which curved out of sight behind a current, looked like an overgrown dredge wooded knoll at either end of the bridge. ditch instead of a natural stream. The embankments Clarence had noticed "Gosh, there's nothing to do here," I rose abruptly from the low river bank. said to Clarence, merely to sum up every- We discussed the bridge at length and thing we had found wrong with our sur- conjectured much as to its elevation and roundings. dimensions. When there was nothing

"Not a darn thing!" he immediately left to say about it, we walked over the agreed. "Can't swim in that swift cur- parts of the park we had not yet ex- rent. Say, I bet the fish would bite after amined. A solitary, though rather large

-25- /f^

dance pavilion, a concession stand which enjoy the thought of meeting any kind was tightly boarded up, some children's of locomotive. swings and slides, and the remains of "What d'ya say, let's cross over to the other playground apparatus were about other side," Clarence challenged me.

all the park contained. It was truly a For a minute or two I objected to such dull place, and I expected to make a dull a rash proposal, but finally I agreed to

day of it. As I soon found out, however, go. Timidly I followed my brave friend there was a supreme thrill awaiting us. out on the ties. He walked surely, seem- Our tour of inspection concluded, we ing to pay no attention to his steps, while strolled lazily back to the bottom of the I moved my short legs cautiously and embankment at the east end of the looked at every spot I was about to set bridge. There was something in that foot upon. Several times I turned my span high over head that called to the eyes down on the river, which boiled and

spirit of adventure in us. I looked at eddied between the supports of the Clarence, and he looked at me. Before bridge. Its waters looked treacherous

I could speak, he literally took the words and dreadful. out of my mouth: As I went on, however, I became less "Let's go up there." afraid. Gradually I became accustomed My prompt "All right" was hardly to walking on the ties. It was fortunate spoken before he was leading the way up that I did, considering what occurred in the twisting cinder path. Clutching at the next few minutes. the tall grass and digging our shoes into We two high-spirited explorers stood the cinders, we finally scrambled up to several minutes at the end of our cross- the road-bed. a breathless pair of adven- ing, discussing the perils and thrills of ture-seekers. the trip. Scornfully we read a sign While recovering our breath we sur- which insisted there .should be "Abso- ve3'ed the landscape below us. The river lutely no trespassing" on the bridge. wound between banks wooded with elms What did railroad officials who put up and hickory trees, which waved brooms such signs know of thrills! of green leaves at the dusty-looking sky. We found if we descended the em- We could see the whole park below us on bankment we were then on, we would our right. The girl scouts in their grey- have to walk almost half a mile to re- green uniforms appeared as so many cross the river on an automobile bridge. grasshoppers. Clarence and I soon decided to take what A vague apprehension stole in on my seemed to be the easiest way to get back utter pleasure in the adventure. T said into the park—that of returning the way with concern to Clarence: we had come. Therefore we turned our "I don't suppose there's any trains steps back to the bridge. Walking slowly anyways near here now, are there?" there, high above the rest of the world, "No: guess not, on Sunday," he re- I gloried in the adventure.

plied, as if he knew no more about it Suddenly Clarence stopped and turned than I did. "You know how dinky this his head with a start. railroad is." "What was that?" he asked me, a note

I knew it was "dinky," and I had often of fear in his voice.

ridiculed it in my boyish scorn of any- I had heard nothing ; so all I could say thing small. But I did not particularly was "What?"

— 26- ! I 5

"It sounded like a train—there it is I could see the "No trespassing" sign again." again. If I only had obeyed it! If I I heard a faint whistling sound come escaped the iron monster which was after from around the curve at the end of the me, I would never do such a thing again, bridge towards which we were walking. I told myself. A few more agonizing

Its source was so far away that it was steps, and I was tumbling down the difficult to describe it as a definite sound. grassy side of the embankment. No We were sure, however, we heard borne grass had ever looked so green as that, on the wind an eerie ivhceoo. and the air had never been so good to

"It's a train," I shouted, while my breathe. heart began to pound. "VVhat'll we do? We rested until our breathing was al- Which waj' shall we go? Oh, gosh!" most normal and our hearts had slowed Clarence made a quick decision. He down considerably. As we started to- said: "Come on; we're closer to that ward the distant hard-road bridge, the end." And he pointed to the embank- train roared above our heads, its whistle ment we had reached after our crossing a shrieking. "Shriek, ahead!" I thought, few minutes ago. "Run," he entreated; but, nevertheless, I shuddered. It was a

"come on and run!" fast freight, and the weight of it sent

And I ran. Clarence's long legs en- tremors along the ground underfoot. abled him to draw farther and farther Clarence and I exchanged glances and away from me. I became short of tried to make a joke of asking one breath, but I forced myself on. I again another how we should like to be up there saw the water below me : it was ten with the train. It was a weak attempt times as treacherous as it had been at humor. before. We said very little as we returned to Thoughts crowded one another in my the park by the circuitous route. The brain. How close was the train? What terror of our experience was still very if I should put my foot a half -inch too real to us. Clarence was rather pale, and far the next time I brought it down on a I needed no mirror to show myself I was tie? I should be trapped between the even paler. rails, and crushed like an insect. What But when we returned to our party, we if I should try a leap into the river? assumed an air of bravado which cer-

Why, it was only a little brook hundreds tainly did not reflect our true feelings. of feet, no, a thousand feet below Neither the girls nor our mothers knew Clarence reached the end of the trestle anything of the adventure until we re- and began to slide down the embankment. lated it to them, a short time after we re- !" "Step on it he called back to me. turned. Our mothers scolded us, but Did he mean this as a warning that the they were very glad we were there to be train was in sight now ? I dared not look scolded. My mother recalled that a num- behind me for fear of making a misstep. ber of people had been killed on this My legs ached from the strain of running bridge in doing the same foolish stunt we so fast yet with such care. My breath had done. It had been an attraction for came in irregular gasps. Perspiration the foolhardy even when she was a girl. streamed down my face, although the air Clarence and I naturally tried to make was cool. the danger we had faced seem as small as

At last I neared tlie end of the bridge. possible in our first stories of the adven-

-27 — b'?

ture. But we could not deny to ourselves evaluate—or rather over-evaluate— it for that we had had the fright of our young themselves.

lives. This event happened six years ago this summer, but sometimes I still see the I derived some satisfaction from the scenes of it in my mind. I have utter lack of interest the girls showed in awakened in the middle of the night, not Clarence's daring. He did not try to im- from a dream but from sound sleep, to

press it upon them, and they were too remember how I felt on that bridge, absorbed in talking of their camp to running from that pursuing train.

— 28 —

,1 T-HECKfEN CALDKON

A Magazine of Freshman Writing

CONTENTS ON THE DISADVANTAGES OF BEING TWO PEOPLE 1 Anne Brittin A GIRL'S DAD ON "DAD'S DAY" .... 2 Kirker Smith WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS" ... 4 Elinor Lourie WHY WORK? 4 Dick Childs COUNTRY FAIR BALLYHOO 6 Myron Wormley ON PERSONAL CHARM 7 Julia Mildred Lake CHILDREN AND THE GANGSTER MOVIE 8 Katherine Stiegemeyer THE BLACK PIRATE OF THE AIR ... 10 Donald Melville FOG IN THE DEPOT 11 Bruce Deobler MACHINE SHOP 12 Robert Weber THE MILL 13 S. J. Ewald ON RETURNING 13 Clara Dayton THE LANE OF FORGOTTEN MEN ... 14 Sydney W. Tauber THE PAPAYA IS January G. W. James THE BAKED POTATO 16 Mildred Fisher DISINTERESTED COURTESY 17 1933 John W. Waldo THE FURY OF THE ELEMENTS .... 19 William F. Ekstrom I'LL MEET YOU AT THE HOUSE ... 23 Vol.2 F. C. Arthur "TIME WILL TELL" 26 No. 2 John DeWolfe ONE OF OUR FINEST 28 J. H. Schacht

PUBUSHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

On the Disadvantages of Being Two People

Anne Brittin

Theme 5, Rhetoric H, 1932-33

IN THESE days of psychoanalysis becoming a scientist. She attempts to everyone is entitled to have at least crowd forty-eight hours of work into a one complex. It may be nothing more t went}'- four hour da)'. She makes me than a yearning to greet Grandma Per- study when I want to sleep and attempt kins by gently tapping her on the head to do more reading than I can ever ac- with an axe instead of politely saying complish. The musty air of a laboratory, "Good morning" as usual. In common compounded of the biting odor of acids, with the rest of humanity I, too, have the scorched smell of cotton, and the such hidden depths in my nature. In glue-like odor of media, is the breath of fact, I am in the precarious position of life to her. In her eyes a wire basket being not one person but two. full of clean, shining test tubes is more

I think my ancestors had something to beautiful than a sunset. do with my peculiar state of being. I But how different is the other person come of a line of hard-working, thrifty, who I am ! Her dearest ambition is to ambitious people. However, even they own a Pacihc island, where she can lie had a skeleton in their closet. That took on the beach and dreamily listen to the the form of one of my respected great- roll of the surf. To make the scene per- grandfathers, who was anything but a fect, on one side must be half a dozen skeleton in appearance. Whereas the rest decorative natives "plunking" on their of the famil}'' worked from sun-up to ukeleles and on the other side a stack of sun-down — and enjoyed doing so — he detective stories and movie magazines. found life so strenuous that he rested And in her heart must be the delicious from sun-up to sun-down—also enjoying peace of the knowledge that she need not the process very, very much. So far my lift a finger unless she wants to. family history sounds like an affair of Being two people would be endurable, mutual enjoyment, but, indeed, it was if they only had some set rules as to not. Great-grandfather's laziness shocked when each one should make her respec- his relatives, while their smug industri- tive appearance. I can go along being in- ousness irritated him. And I am an un- tensely industrious for several weeks, happy combination of that ancestor of studying as I should, reading elevating mine and the more t}-pical members of books, remembering to brush my teeth, the family! and even keeping up my diary. Then The two persons who I am have quite sooner or later there comes a period of different ambitions for my future, and three or four days when I go into a state both watch me zealously to see that I of stagnation. Instead of studying for follow them. But. as yet, I have worked an especially formidable test I go to see out no plan whereby I can satisfy the two Greta Garbo's latest film ; instead of sides of my nature at once. One person reading d'Herelle I read .S. S. Van Dine, —the serious one—has ambitions of my and Benchley. Neither the frowns of my

— 1 — ;

professors nor the rapidly mounting pile person in me has her way). But one day of neglected work can rouse me from the I shall wake up to find the wind in the coma into which I have fallen. Nothing south and the sky all blue and white, a can, until I wake up one morning and sea of billowy clouds. Then I shall put find my serious nature back again. aside my serious business and start out

I shall probably grow old, becoming to find if there is a golden road to Sam- more and more a credit to my ancestors arkand and if the South Seas are as who have preceded me (if the serious beautiful and deep as eternity.

A Girl's Dad on "Dad's Day"

KiRKER Smith

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

WHAT a relief! Dad has just gone former rigidit)'. When the others got out home, and the most bewildering of the car, he remained stubbornly in and trying day of my life is behind me. his place, unaffected by the earnest pleas

It is strange, but although a dad at home of his daughter to come inside. After is delightful, a dad in a girls' dormitory the\' had gone, he parked the car with is an unfathomable mystery. I had so great precision, taking ten minutes to do eagerly anticipated his visit, drawing what would ordinarily take him two, but- glorious mental pictures of the perfect toned his overcoat, set his shoulders fatherly gentleman, dignified, self-pos- squarely, and left the car, his last refuge sessed, and 3'et jolly and friendly enough from a house full of critical women. to make everyone feel at ease. Then, assuming an air of pompous ease,

Even an amusing incident I had lie walked slowly up and down the street, watched while awaiting his arrival in the like a professor stud3'ing the architecture morning had failed to cast any shadows of Main Residence Hall. of doubt on my anticipations. A large However, my confidence was so great family car had pulled up across the street that I actually pitied this girl for having and an excited girl dashed out of the hall such a shy father, who was obviousi}' and over to it to greet her visiting folks. going to be something of a problem Her robust, heavy-set father, ensconced whereas my father, with his natural so- behind the steering wheel for protection ciableness, would enter into the spirit of from an overly-exuberant daughter, the occasion and soon have everyone grimly surveyed her meeting with the around him in the best of humor. Alas rest of the family. When his turn came, for the bliss of ignorance ! When my he gave her an afifectionate, although dad arrived, he was like a stranger in a somewhat sheepish peck on the forehead foreign country. Inside the house (and and then hastily settled back into his I had no small trouble getting him there,

2- ! a

either) he was obviously consumed with to tlie conversation. Then the eyes of all self-consciousness and limited his con- the girls turned toward him (at last— versation to a few abrupt remarks. I dad who would talk!) and immediately wondered if that gruff, silent man could his old fears and self-consciousness re- really be my dad, the jovial, talkative turned and he was once again morose fellow I knew at home, who added and non-committal. liumor and life to any conversation with This agony continued through(jut the his own engaging personality. He seemed day, but at dinner a change took place. lost and unable to cope with the situation. The speeches generally attendant on Stranded thus among so many chattering "Dad's Day" banquets are almost inevit- w^omen in a place whose very nature was ably trite and boring; but they, together new to him, he had built a little wall of with the cheerful, friendl}' atmosphere silence around himself for sheer defense which pervades a room on such occa- against this strange noisy mob. The few sions, served to lighten the feelings of other men in the room were similarly my dad and loose his tongue a little. By

afflicted ; and there sat the heroes of the the end of the dinner, when the house- day, stiff, silent, and so surrounded by mother, the toast mistress, the old girls that they could not even talk busi- "grads," and several other lesser lights ness w'ith one another. It was hopeless had separately stressed the importance And my dad was as bad as any of them. and generosity of the dads, mine had be- Occasionally, as though suddenly re- come his old self again and warmed to membering that this was "Dad's Day" the task of entertaining these girls who and he was the most important character were not the knowing, mystifying beings in the gathering, he roused himself from he had thought them, but merely ordi- this silent state long enough to express an nary, understandable mortals like his opinion of his own or add his comments own daughters. "What Every Woman Knows"

Elinor Lourie

Theme 16, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

" A WEE DROP of Scotch" quite per- with Maggie's aid that he realizes how ^*- fectly describes "What Every invaluable she has been ; she was so un- Woman Knows." It is by a Scotchman, obtrusive a background to set off his the scene is laid in Scotland, the charac- character that she was not noticed until, ters are Scotch, and the play contains suddenly, the background was no more. that canniness and dry humor which are But even when he realized that she was special attributes of the Scotch. essential to his success and happiness, main character, Wylie, is The James and asked her to return to him—even is generally termed a self-made what then he did not fully appreciate her true man. He considers himself such, and so worth, and she, like most women, loved does the general public. Only Maggie, him the more for his stupidity. his wife, knows the falsity of this belief, The play was very entertaining. It and she, like the daisies, won't tell ! It was brief, light, and witty, as all of Bar- is true he has courage, perseverance, and rie's plays are. The characters were real merit, but he lacks the dash and genuine and so were the situations, yet, originality which only Maggie can sup- with just enough difference to ply. But so subtly does she suggest ideas make them to him that he really believes them to be a trifle more interesting and amusing of his own creation. It is only when, in than everyday life. The play may be liis ignorance, lie attempts to dispense summed up in the one word—charming.

Why Work?

Dick Childs

Thcnic 10, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

Certainly it is from slavery n'C derive the conccl>lion that industry, even

thoiigli it be l^iirl'oseless industry, is a I'irtne in itself.—H. G. Wells

credit to his com- woman she has taught her child well JOHN SMITH is a — munity—he is always busy. He is a that Satan finds mischief for idle hands. rather feeble-minded fool engaged in The child firmly believes that as long as making a fake patent medicine, but he he works diligently he will go to heaven works very hard and seems to have had no matter what else he does or doesn't enough initiative to acquire a moderate do. sum of money to his credit at the local What good is work for work's sake? bank. His neighbor's wife is a splendid Don't misunderstand me. I'm not advo- eating a general and complete strike. hut lirsl there must come the prepara-

There is no disputing that labor is vital tion in the form of joy or hope or to any manner of success. What I object dreams. This vital fact is one which the to is the contemporary worship of pur- advocate of constant labor ignores. poseless industry. If one is to defend the dreamer, he We are all told that genius is ninety- must first acknowledge the fundamental nine per cent perspiration and one per need for the worker. Dreams alone have cent inspiration. Great captains of in- never built a bridge or written a book. dustry are held up to us as models to Always there must be the one to apply idolize. Everywhere we go we see and the thoughts and inspirations of the hear stories of men who have "made dreamer, and perhaps it is from this good" because of their ability to work. truth that we have come to think of work Recently our newspapers have been as an objective. But let us not forget that tilled with news of one such model. because work is a necessity, dreaming is He was one of the most talked about and not therefore an evil. respected men in the world of finance, L^ndoubtedly ancient civilizations were chiefly because of his ability to organize built upon slavery. There could have and his tireless energ}' in applying his been no Parthenon if there had been no plans. Now he is an exile and one of the slaves, no pyramids without forced labor. most hated men among all classes of Today we are faced with a new problem. people. The machine age has done away to a When some one sits and day-dreams, great extent with the need for blind people immediately charge him with lazi- obedience ; and with it, it has done away ness, and, without knowing or caring with the old ideal of the "busy man." In about the purpose of his thoughts, they the complicated system of our present condemn him as a good-for-nothing. To manner of living there is danger of fol- them idleness is the cardinal sin. They lowing the horrible example of the robots can forgive any variety of faults if the in the play, "R. U. R.," in which, because defendant is an industrious man. they have no impulse save to work, they

.Surely it must be from some such become monsters. The idea is overdrawn source as enslaved ancestors that we have perhaps, but it is essentially true that if created that false standard. And it must we neglect the purpose of work and em- be from some narrow-minded people that phasize it as a virtue, we are apt to be- it has become such a criterion of worth. come blind to the better things of life. As a source from which good may be Surely, one of the results of the future derived, work is noble, but it is not a dependence on machinery will be shorter virtue in itself. At its worst it may be- working hours and more leisure. What come a vice. will be done with this spare time? More The man who straightens the already work? Will a man be branded as lazy straight sideboard will never create a because he does not spend this leisure in masterpiece. Neither has a masterpiece frantically earning more mone_y? No, in ever sprung from the artist who stands the future there will be no fetish named before his easel with the determination industr)-. to do his day's work even though he lacks Perhaps, instead, John Smith will lose an idea. True, every worthwhile objec- his glamour, and the Jack Robinson who tive will require more or less hard labor, occasionally slips away from his ledgers

— 5 — Uf ;

to indulge in fishing or in loafing in a roommate on his favorite author will be cabin with a book will not be considered accorded a certain amount of leniency.

an undesirable citizen. Perhaps even the "What is this life if, full of care, college student who now and then forgets We have no time to stand and stare !"* an algebra assignment to argue with his *Davics, W. H.; '"Leisure."

Country Fair Ballyhoo

Myron Wormley

Theme U, Rhetoric 1, 1932-33

1HAVE an almost passionate aversion frivolity I soon suffer acute discomfort.

to country fairs, due perhaps to the Accordingly, as the second best thing, I

circumstances under which I was com- must walk around the "midway" with the pelled to attend them in the days of my girl and act like a moron in order to be

childhood. For one thing, I never liked in the general spirit of the fair. The re-

picnic diimers. To country fair enthu- sult of this procedure is that I run all

siasts there is only one way to eat at a over the place acting like a rabbit with fair—a la lunch basket. My imagination "time on his hands.'' is unusually active during such a meal Then there is the stock to see. Nor-

and after 1 have watched the flies buzz mally I do not mind stating my opinions

around the food, my appetite wanes. 1 about hogs, but when I am in such a dis- abhor sitting on the ground while eating, turbed mental state as a country fair and dread the task of straining vainh' produces, I can find nothing more dis-

to reach the choice morsel I desire. With- gusting than the sight of animals. The

out fail 1 spill milk or water during the steaming and the protesting of the hogs

course of the meal. Finally, I do not combined with the stall-kicking and the

like potato salad, and as yet 1 have not everlasting tail-switching that one en- been to a picnic dinner where that dish counters in the dairy barns are bad for was not in evidence. one's disposition. Furious stallions in-

Then there ahva3S is the daughter of censed by their captivity are the last some neighbor who must be entertained straw.

and I am usualh* the unfortunate one To climax the day. the custom is to go chosen for this unwelcome task. This of to the grandstand (if one may properly

course means entertainment ; but enter- call it by that name) and watch the tainment costs money. And what enter- various horse, mule, and chariot races,

tainment ! Merry-go-rounds and swings amid the blare of two or three high

have never failed to have a harmful school bands. This is b}- far the most effect upon my digestive systein. and if boring feature of the day's program.

I attempt to carry on this sort of dizzy There are only two things to do: watch

— 6- the proceedings or go to sleep. The latter seated upon one I become ill at ease and is not considered quite the thing to do feel as though T might (\y to pieces. when one is in the company of a young Thus a day spent at a country fair is lady, and the former is an exceedingly a day worse than wasted. Nothing is ac- difficult task. Another undesirable thing complished, nothing enjoyed, and mental, about the grandstand is the hardness of physical, and tinancial discomfort must the seats. After spending a few hours be endured.

-^e

On Personal Charm

Julia Mildred Lake

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

DO YOU smoke, drink, philosophize, poor old cow saw all this and thought to eat crackers in bed, or have blind herself, "That dog has all the luck. dates? If you do, do you do so in a Maybe if I jumped into master's lap, he'd charming manner ? Personal charm — rub my ears too." So one day when the most people call it personality—depends master was idling in the orchard with on how one does the commonplace things his pipe between his teeth, the cow of life. If a man can converse cleverly or thought "Hooray! Here's my chance!" smile in a winning way, he possesses a .So gaily she gamboled over to the un- form of personal charm. However, suspecting man and cast herself into his taking personal charm as a whole, the old arms. Of course, you know just what maxim, "Be yourself," is the true key to happened to the cow. The poor thing had the secret. no personal charm, whereas the dog had.

Remember the old story of the cow Why? The dog was itself — it acted who wanted to be like a dog? When the naturally. Who ever heard of a dog dog jumped into his master's lap, he was mooing? It's equally ridiculous to think petted and fondled affectionately. The of a cow jumping into a man's lap. !

That is the trouble with so man}- un- Many writers have tried to analyse per- interesting people—they try so hard to sonality. The}- cannot—it is practically do that for which they are unfitted both indefinable. It is made up of many small physically and mental!}'. They aren't units all combining to make the whole. natural : therefore they don't have char- If personality were thoroughly under- acter. Why should the daughter of a stood, there would be many less undesir- brick-layer try to act like a debutante? able people in the world, and people She has neither the background nor the would have more affection for their fel- money. How much more charming she low men. If one is natural, if he doesn't would really be if she were herself. Not that she sliould not try to better herself assume a perverted outlook on life or doesn't try to fool himself, he is one of in as many ways as possible ! She should do that. But being a hypocrite is not those fortunate individuals who have per- bettering one's personalit}-. sonal charm—and a great deal of it.

Children and the Gangster Movie

Katherine Stiegemeyer

Theme 4, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

"I'LL PUT YOU on the spot," came may he was not the least crestfallen, but

* floating clearly up to me as I sat by declared, "James Cagney woulda shot the window vainly trying to concentrate. 'im."

A childish voice and an equally child-like At that moment I crystallized a thought figure had broken in on my conciousness. which had been running through my mind Two small boys were fighting a heated for many days as I had watched my battle by the side of our house. The small neighbors play "gangster." The opponents were sturdy, well-matched, play of children has always been shaped and furious over some small-boy ques- to a certain extent by the stage. Play tion. The older boy broke loose from his habits change with each successive gener- enemy's clutch and again shouted, "If ation. Aly father played "train-robber" you hit me once more, I'll bump you off and "western outlaw," while my mother !" I'll kill you He did not wait for a re- adored Bernhardt and Geraldine Farrar. newed onslaught, but. picking up a large Now adolescent boys are bootleggers and stone, threw it with all his might at the gangsters in spare moments, and girls less aggressive boy. The stone struck the copy the glamorous movie queens. The boy on his temple, knocking him uncon- most casual observer will admit a differ-

scious. While the injured boy was cared ence in these types. The robber was . for by his mother. I took it upon myself always a bad man. and the western out-

to reprimand the older boy. To my dis- law was always killed ; the modern gang- stei" is a hero, a trampled idol, wlio is ap- limited to the (jne night following, but parently line in almost every respect. e.xtends for three or four nights more.

There is nothint,' of cowardice in his 1 le tosses during the early hours of his

make-up ; his deeds are m

The first discovery made by Mr. Ren- that movies overstimulate the nervous shaw is that after seeing a thriller, Johnny system and cause neuroses which may tosses in bed. His restlessness is not continue in adult years.

-9 — /^?

The Black Pirate of the Air

Donald Melville

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

OUT of the tall trees that edged the to four large eggs, pale green, splashed woods a shadow ghded softly and liberally with brown. Both parents defend swiftly, and after volplaning close to the their home against all comers. When the ground finally settled with a rush of air scrawny, naked little crows arrive, the

and a glinting of ebony-black feathers. old crows are busy from morning till This huge bird of inky complexion was night feeding them, for a young crow will

nothing more than a crow—a bird com- eat all he can and still caw for more. mon to all parts of America, from the A crow has a reputation for wisdom,

snow-blanketed forests of the North to and after studying its habits for

the broad pampas of the South. months, 1 have decided that the wisdom

His reputation is as dark as the color of these birds is surpassed by that of no that nature gave him. He is the lawful other creatures of the woods. The old to prey of every hunter, for he is known crow will imitate perfectly the weak caw nests of our songsters, and plunder the of its young in order to lure the hunter the farmer. large he is a problem to A from the neighborhood of the nest. part of a crow's menu consists of corn Almost all traps set for the black vandals freshly planted cornfield holds seed. The are studiously avoided, and the hunter a royal feast for the hungry crow, and who conceals himself in a spot where a fairly large flock of them will consume crows congregate will find them verj- is, a surprising amount of corn : that un- scarce. The length and number of caws less the farmer's son is patrolling the vi- have different meanings for members of cinit}' with a shotgun, and then there is the tribe. By their raucous calls the crows not a crow to he seen. can spread an alarm or gather their clan It seems to me that crows have a sixth with great speed. sense about guns. Walk into the woods The greatest enemy of the crows is the_ with nothing more than a woodenstick in hawk. As the crows prey on smaller vour hands, and you may observe the ac- birds, so do the hawks prey on the young tions of the crows at your pleasure. But crows. When a hawk flies near the crows' steal through the woods w^ith a gun in nesting-place, he is attacked on all sides your hands, and the only indication that by the war-like birds, each one, in turn, there are crows in that district will be making a swoop at him. Sometimes the a faint caw from the neighboring hill or

hawk is wounded ; sometimes a careless valley. So if you wish to learn for your- crow comes within reach of those terrible self the interesting habits of these birds, the penalty for his care- approach them unarmed, yet with steal- claws and pays lessness. However, most of these skirm- thy foot. The crow usually builds an ungainly ishes end witli no serious casualties, for bunch of thick twigs for a nest, high up in the crow realizes the inferiority of his a pine tree, and in this are laid from two fighting equipment to that of the hawk.

— 10- There is one good thing that can be them he does the farmer a great service, said of the crow, however, and that is so great a service, in fact, that it is a the great service he does in eating all question whether it outweighs the dam- kinds of harmful insects. Insects are his age resulting from his grain-eating pro- staple food, and in ridding the fields of pensities.

Fog in the Depot

Bruce Deobler

Theme 9, Rhetoric 1, 1932-33

IT HAS always seemed to me that a He sees a bare-headed, trench-coated busy depot is the center of much ro- youth make a rush to hand letters to the mance and adventure. The reunion of departing train's baggageman and won- friends, the arrival and departure of busi- der's not if but ivhy they are important. ness envoys, the power and force of the A stout individual's attempt to shield his man-made monsters, the skill and cour- throat from the dampness by turning his age of train crews, and the curiosity collar closer around his neck and face is about the destinations and purposes of interpreted as an effort to preserve an the travelers, all serve to spread an au- incognito. The observer involuntarily ex- reate influence of romance over the scene. tends sympathy to the glum- faced

These impressions, liowever, may be mul- woman who is probably worried over tiplied and varied if you will take the nothing more serious than the difficulty trouble to visit a depot on an evening of finding a good taxi. The group de- when a veil of fog has descended over scending from the parlor car wear a the cit\'. misty look of gentility and superiority. For some reason, the swirling curtains In the electrically lighted fog, beautiful of vapor stimulate the perceptive powers faces become exotic, and plain faces of the human mind, causing it to seek become beautiful. It is odd that none of significance in every eccentricity dis- these wanderings of the mind occur in played by the people around the observer. normal weather.

11- 170

Clearly, the fog does something to the trol it. Ancient men feared this phe- human mind. The crowd, the train, and nomenon, and a vestige of this fear lin- the lights are all a part of every man's gers in modern minds. It is this fear, or

life, but the fog is strange and mysteri- lack of understanding, that stimulates the ous because man cannot in any way con- mind of the observer.

Machine Shop

Robert Weber

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

WHKN one enters the shop, the whir The machine shop assumes a charac- and hum of the many machines is at ter so opposite to that which has just

first confusing. There is an atmosphere been witnessed that one shudders from of brazen importance that tolerates no the shock of the change. The noise and insists quiet meditation or thought, but clatter of life have gone, and only the action noise. Overhead, rods upon and stillness reigns. Overhead, the rods and and wheels rotate at rapid, regular in- wheels have ceased to move. The finish- tervals, giving out a monotonous clang ing and polishing machines are awesome and clack that makes one's head throb. in their silence. The driving shafts have The finishing and polishing machines give slopped so suddenly that they are left forth a high-pitched tone that is at first standing half way to the end of their run. irritating in its piercing quality. Vari- drilling machine has lost its greed ous parts of each machine move back and The forth, clanking loudly as they do their and seems to be meditating on the work work. A machine for drilling threads of the day. Faint sounds coming from the into pipes groans as the cold steel presses street seem quite remote. The light in against the pipe. The pipe, in turn, sends the room becomes steadily dimmer. The metal back a shrill tone of protest as the machines seem to be sleeping. It is a is out of its sides. drilling grooved A peaceful sleep, but sad in the gloom of machine, with greedy haste, eats out a the dark walls and floor. There is no hole in a large steel plate. The room re- color to indicate the animation of the sounds again and again while the tumult recent life. A coldness settles on the rises and falls. A bell rings. Gradually room, and chills the blood in one's veins. the noise dies down. There is a last lin- comes, and all is gering shufile of hurrying feet, and then At last, darkness night. all is quiet. screened by the blackness of

•12 —

.A The Mill

S. J. EWALD

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1932-^3

IT IS OLD, very old, that mill with its been there, seeding and reseeding them- moss-covered water wheel. A century selves since last the mill was run. or more its wheels turned, turned, turned, Suddenly a wild, inhuman shriek comes grinding the grain of the country folk through a small, warped window. Across from miles around. The miller and his a rolling field of stubble a train of box- sons toiled from dawn to dark and went cars grinds to a stop beside a long plat- to their humble home at night in ghost- form stacked high with plump white like dustiness. But the miller is gone, and sacks. There are large motor trucks and his sons and their sons, and all of the chains of wagons drawn by bluster- millers. ing tractors bringing more sacks from Now, the wheels go round no more, the surrounding fields. In a distant field castings are gone to rust, the great mill- there is a huge heap of yellow straw, stones have fallen from their sockets. ever growing larger under the "blower"

Cobwebs glut the feed chute and fill the of a thrasher. Little men work busily space about the beams above with filmy about the machine, and two of them are grayness. Bright rays of light stream on top feeding its greedy maw. The through the sagging clapboard roof and thrasher is driven by a long belt con- lose themselves in dusty corners. Every- nected to a tractor. The white sacks are where is dust ; thick, heavy, gray dust being filled at one side of the clanking, that rises in dense clouds as I walk across red thrasher. Another shriek, and more the creaking floor. The fioor, which once yellow grain journeys to the great mills bore up the heavy millstones and loads of of the city to be marketed at forty-two grain, now groans and gives beneath m}- cents a bushel. weight. In the cracks of the worn oak sill Only the deep blue water in the mill of the door, stand slim, sear stalks of race remains the same, sparkling, sing- wheat rustling in the breeze. They have ing, happy, unaware of any change.

On Returning

Clara Dayton

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

T WAS like looking into a still black past reflected in its depths; then a sud- pool, and seeing at once all of the den glare of sunlight blinded out the

13 — ! ! n:i

vision of that one moment. Thus it pitch the hay into the loft, and store the

seemed, as I stood gazing at the forlorn oats and wheat in the barn. I marvelled little farm where I had spent the first at their power and strength as they careless years of my childhood. How hoisted heavy bales of hay upon their different it looked to twenty than to ten Iiroad shoulders and swung them with a There was the old wooden gate that 1 dull thud to the ground. Sweat poured used to clamber upon to watch the down their brown faces, and muscles ruddy sun melt into the green pastures, rippled beneath the blue cambric of their while I waited for Father to come in damp shirts, as the sultry day grew hot- from the fields, tired and hungry. The ter beneath the August sun. husky, sunbrowned workmen would be But the sun brings back the reality of coming home, too, leading in the old to-day and dispels the vision of yester- black horses and heavy iron ploughs. In da}-. To-day I am twenty, and wonder the barn was the smell of fresh, clean ha}', how many points corn has gone down, and warm, sweet milk, the gentle mooing or if wheat has gone up, because v\'e still of cattle, and the neighing of the horses. o\\-n the farm, you see, even though there Behind the farmhouse now are a few- are other people living there. As I look straggling trees, representing what was at the gate now rather critically, I notice once an orchard. In spring it was white that it will soon need repair. It is sag- with blossoms, and in summer tlie trees ging, and some of the boards are loose. were laden with red and green apples, ugly trees behind purple plums, or golden-yellow peaches. Those the house should be cut down, for they are old and use- How man}' lazy hours I spent in that garden of Eden, knowing no evil or less. The man who is working in the trouble but onl\' pleasure and happy barnyard now looks rather tired and un- leisure happy—he is the only one who has a job In the fall I used to watch the men there. Perhaps he is feeling the depres-

haul away the ripe corn in tall wagons, sion too.

The Lane of Forgotten Men

Sydney W. Taubek

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

"IT 'ACKER DRIVE, Chicago." ears, while above, in magnificent offices 'w;boulevard of rare beauty, with im- resplendent with fine furniture and tap- pressive structures of stone and steel estry, ticker tape flows in never-ending

towering hundreds of feet into the air coils. The drive itself is an animate pic-

along its cold curbs. Business and tumult, ture ; expensive automobiles race along, with the roar of trains buzzing in one's tires singing over smooth concrete. The

— 14 — — I f occupants are smug and comfortable in the thoroughfare above, with the sting- their wrapping of sleek furs. ChautTeurs, ing river-wind biting into them. They ' Yes, madam- No, madam wrap their shivering bodies in newspa- Most certainly, sir ." pers, in burlap sacks, in anything that The Drive begins at the end of Wash- will turn awa}' the cold. The police can ington Boulevard and winds along the do nothing to prevent the stay of these Chicago River, past the crystal beauty of homeless men—and perhaps the police do the Civic Opera House, through the rush not care to do anything about it. Bread of the "Loop," and then off to the lake. line or soup kitchen—their only source of

And all one can see, as he rides over this food. Slimy muck of "stew," reeking, monument to wealth and business, is the its only benefit is the heat to be derived glorious effect of it, the fineness of it all, from it. Days without food at all ; too the glint of steel and polish of marble. weak to go and stand hour after hour Ijut under Wacker Drive, where the in the pushing, surging line of bodies, American Masters of Finance never look, only to be turned aw-ay with, "Sorry, and never care to look, live the forgot- buddy, that's all there is." ten men of the city. A picture, not all lovely, is painted of The Drive was deliberately built in two lower Wacker Drive. We of Chicago are levels in order that those in evening aware of its existence, because of the

dress and elegant cars could sail over flower}- editorials printed about it ; we its upper floor, while those who work are aware of its existence, because "slum- and sweat for these men could run their ming" parties are invariably shown its below. swift trucks down sordid face. But life (if it can be called It is the lower floor, dark and dark on that) under the Drive goes on as before; cold and very dirty. The silent river — the only change of residence or suste- flows at a level with this lower street. nance in the lives of these men occurs and in the winter its icy fingers reach when they are dying of pneumonia or into the cave-like dimness seeking tuberculosis on a cot in the County Hos- W'armth. And it is during the winter that pital. we notice, become acutely cotiscious of, Upper W'acker Drive sings its song of the pathos of this "lane of forgotten men." These are Chicago's unemployed, power—because those who ride upon its and they sleep against pillars, cold pil- polished surface never choose to go lars of the selfsame concrete that paves below.

The Papaya

G. W. James

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

CARICA PAPAYA—such is its scien- kings. It is a royal delicacy which all tific name—is a food really fit for who live in the tropics may enjoy. This

— 15- /7/

fruit far transcends in gastronomic ap- ing with the nature of the life of the

peal any other of man's foods. Its sweet, papaya plant. With its tender shoots succulent meat melts in one's mouth and eagerly sought by the herbivores of the

engulfs the palate with a tantalizing forest, with its mature fruit considered Hood of deliciousness. The inhabitants a delicacy by monkeys and fruit bats,

of Olympus tremble when man plucks and with its unresistant bole easily de- this fruit lest some mortal perceive there- stroyed by the tropical winds, thousands in the fabled ambrosia and by its sensu- of seeds must germinate to produce the ous inspiration be emboldened to doubt ultimate single papaya. This useful plant, their spurious power. once the seeds are scattered, grows

Despite its intrinsic worth it does not rapidly. It easily acquires a height of to world. It blatantly cry its merits the fifteen feet in a season, producing, while is truly unimposing to the eye and pre- it grows, a large crop of its luscious sents no external promise of gustatory pepos. It requires a rich loamy soil and ecstasy. To the wanderer from temper- the tropical combination of much mois- ate zones it might be a dwarfed Tom ture and abundant sunshine. Watson or an unripe cantaloupe. This Thus, we inhabitants of the temperate interesting native of the torrid zone as- zone are deprived of the pleasure of in- sumes a variety of shapes and sizes. It cluding the papaya in our diet. After a may be elongated like a watermelon, or taste of this fruit par excellence, one can almost spherical, or even slightly com- understand Columbus' reluctance to de- pressed on one end, like our crookneck part from the shores of the West Indies squash. In the unripe state its skin is in the knowledge that, during his absence dark green and smooth witli a velvety from the land of coral and palm, his feel to the touch. As it ripens, it becomes board, however regal, would contain no a light yellow. Within, it is arranged papaya. It is, in fact, not impossible that much like a muskmelon with a multitude this delectable food is the same with of seeds which cling tenaciously to the for firm, thick, salmon-colored lining which which Circe changed men into pigs,

is its edible part. many a man of discreet appetite becomes

The great number of seeds is in keep- a gourmand in its presence.

The Baked Potato

Mildred Fisher

Theme 12, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

BAKED potatoes ordinarily do not —nor was the potato ordinary. I was arouse deep emotions or bring ro- from Champaign, and the potato was

mantic ideas to sane people. Well, I as- from Idaho. Fanc}' our meeting in the sure you, this was no ordinary situation attractive dining room at Marshall

— 16- — / / 3

Field's! As the waiter placed it before limited experience had not prepared me

1113' eyes, a shock—a thrill ran through to answer such a question as this. Still me. Never had I seen such a huge po- wondering, I placed the lirst bite into tato—why, it was equal to four regular- my eager, waiting mouth. How perfectly sized ones! It seemed almost as if it had scrumptious ! My senses reeled with been blown up b}' a pump to its most ex- ecstasy. Heaven must be like this aggerated capacity and then had slowly baked potatoes, seasoned to perfection; burst, sending forth a most delicious, de- hot, just from the oven; and covered lectable odor of melted cheese and rich with creamy melted cheese. Mine was a baked potato. A bit of parsley made the faithful potato too, for no matter how picture perfect. Could anything appear much I ate, there was always plenty more attractive to a potato-lover? It was more. nothing short of wonderful to me. "Breathes there a man with soul so dead Who never to himself hath said," Was one supposed to eat the whole Many and many a mile I'd go thing or just gracefully nibble at it? My To eat a potato from Tdaho.

Disinterested Courtesy

John W. Waldo

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

TAKING off the lid of the large box, hind me locked up in my hotel room, I with the gold coat of arms of the blandly said, "I'm just looking around h'inchley establishment emblazoned upon perhaps a hat." it, and inspecting the contents nestled in The floor-walker introduced me to a the tissue paper, I asked myself, "How is Mr. Gregory, who took me in hand. My it that going for just a hat, I returned escort turned out to be a flesh and blood with purchases many times the value of facsimile of an "ad" in Vanity Fair, il- the contemplated hat?" lustrating "what the well-dressed man

1 sat down and, gazing out upon the will be wearing." This human fashion lake veiled with snow, I reviewed the plate immediately opened siege against events of the afternoon. my determined economy by inquiring if

Entering the antique furnished lobby I were of the Bostoii Waldo's. I decided of this store for the rich or extravagant, to impress him with my limited pocket-

I had been met by an impressive gentle- book and said, "Well, third cousins once !" man, who introduced himself as Mr. removed. The proverbial poor relation .Schuler, a floor-walker. He looked like Whether this remark instilled pity into a utilities official to me. As I felt quite liim or amusement, I could not detertnine. sure that my most painful affliction, After learning that I might be interested "Shopper's Ecstasy," had been left be- in a hat, he conducted me to the proper

17 — ! ! I'?i'

department. As we sauntered through by liis saj'ing that man)' of the boys, the store, searching for hats of attractive going East to school, selected a type shades, we discussed the afternoon's game similar to this one. He concluded by

and the colleges playing. A very charm- mentioning that it was his favorite type

ing person indeed was this fellow ! I se- of coat. 1 was glad he hadn't said he had lected a Borsilino marked "Au Autumn." one. Clerks usually imagine that if they

It was most becoming. As I took it off say they own an item similar to that

to look at it in the light, I noticed the which we are contemplating buying, it

price mark. "I don't believe this color is influences the purchaser to buy. It does

suitable," I lied, hoping that this conclu- the opposite to me !" sion would settle any discussion about "A lovely coat I again exclaimed, the hat. unable to think of a more appropriate

"With what color coats will 3'ou be adjective. "And I'll take it!" 1 added wearing it?" he questioned. His non- recklessly, realizing my extravagance.

chalant use of the plural form of "coat" He was not at all imj^ressed. I was

upset my equilibrium, and I stammered, sorry. It seemed to be an important event "Why, ah, grej'." This was the only in my life to buy as expensive a coat as

color that I could think of. this one ; anyway getting the money to

"Come with me," he said, leading the pay for it would be ! I wished it meant way into a huge room panelled in Jaco- something out of the ordinary run of

bean fashion. He pulled a carved knob, events to him. If it did, he did not show-

and immediately the panelling along one it.

side of the room folded back ; there were ".\nd the hat?" he questioned.

coats of every describable color. He se- "Yes, I'll take that, too. Let me see lected a gre}- overcoat and helped me some gloves." The thought of the several

into it, explaining that now 1 could see pairs in m}' drawers at home was not

how very nicely the color of the hat present at this rash moment. Could I

would blend with grey. help being extravagant in all these lux-

As I walked over to the mirrors, I was urious surroundings and among all these hoping the coat would not be becoming. beautiful fabrics?

I looked twice in the mirrors before He disappeared, reappearing with recognizing myself. "A lovely coat!" socks, a pair of gloves, some ties, and

said I, admiring the gorgeous figure be- some handkerchiefs of hues blending

fore me. "And some dispute the old with those of the hat and coat. Could I

adage of 'clothes make the man'!" I con- refuse the purchase of these compara- tinued, feeling the dreaded "Shopper's tively small items that would mean so

Ecstasy" descending in all her disastrous much to my ensemble ? Naturally not

powers upon me. Had I been able to remember my numer-

As I posed this way and that way, I ous obligations, I would have reached for expected the clerk to mention how rich my old coat and dashed out past the suits, the cojt and hat looked on me and how past the hats, past the gloves, and beyond

shabby was the garment thrown across the ties, out into the territory of safety,

the divan. He disappointed me. He prob- where I should be safe from any subtle

ably thought I was able to see this point salesmanship technique. I walked over to

myself. I liked the silence, broken onl\- the oriole window, paused, and, glancing

•18- across Michigan Avenue through the fall- a miserable dwelling that was home to ing snow to the desolate and bleak park her. I turned away from this dreary and be}ond, 1 realized how utterly enipt)' ugly scene. Looking at the "tete de material things are. How could I buy negre" carpet, at the carved marble fire- these things, thought I, while paupers place, at the stout gentleman in a Per- were wrapping their frozen feet in scraps sian lamb coat inspecting some scarfs, of stray newspaper ! How could I spend my repentant mood vanished, and one of such an amount on unnecessary items selfishness replaced it. I looked when, just below me, a poor woman, at the braving the piercing blast in her thread- astonishingly well-dressed man beside me bare garments, was making her way to and said, "That's a charge."

The Fury of the Elements

William F. Ekstrom

Theme IS, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THERE is no escapade so thrilling as wanted to visit Starved Rock Park near a battle with the elements, where the La Salle, and I obligingly offered to ac- odds against man are so tremendous that commodate them. It was a perfect day as the peril of each moment seems well-nigh we started out, four girls beside myself, unescapable. Such an event is especially in a Pontiac roadster. We spent a weari- memorable when it comes, as it did in our some afternoon climbing up and down case, at the end of a delightful week-end the ravines of Deer Park and meander- excursion to a nearb}- cit}'. We had been ing about the plateau on the summit of attending a conference at Princeton dur- the historic rock. At length, we left that ing the Labor Day holidays and were pre- site of pioneer heroism and sped rapidly paring to return home on Monday after- northward in the direction of Mendota. noon. Several of the girls of our party It was nearly six o'clock when we

•19 — I 7 If

arrived at that city, and we stopped there car and then the other would dip into a about an hour for dinner. We were in culvert or bump over fallen posts and

high spirits as we partook of the evening fences. We were off the road ! The meal, entirel}' unconscious of the storm roadster plunged on through mud and

clouds that were gathering in the western mire, through rain and gale, going its heavens. When we returned to our car, occupants knew not whither, and likely

it was very dark, but since it was late in at any moment to stop with a dead

the evening, we were not unduly worried. motor, or a broken axle, or, worst still, As a matter of fact, I was so little aware to plunge from the edge of an unexpected

of the danger that I relinquished the precipice, or plough into the side of some

wheel to my sister and went back to sit unseen farm building. There I was with in the rumble seat. It grew rapidly four terror-stricken girls in an open car, darker, however, and, as we pulled out bouncing over a cornfield in the most

of town, I remarked casually to one of violent storm that I had ever experi-

the girls that it looked as if it might rain. enced. I groaned inwardly, but I tried to A dull rumble in the distance confirmed keep a steady voice as I inquired of the my opinion, and I began to think seri- girl next to me if she were all right. ously of putting on my slicker. Suddenly Suddenly, I felt a violent shift in the there was a vivid flash of lightning in the equilibrium of the car to my side as we west, followed by a prolonged roar of struck something or other, and the road-

thunder, and, as if it were the trumpet ster settled back and stopped. There was heralding an oncoming storm, the clouds one horrible second when a vivid flash of began to gather into a huge whirling lightning, which occurred almost simul- mass. By this time, the blackness of the taneously, lighted up the whole scene and night was impenetrable, and a furious displayed before our view, not twenty

wind began to blow which all but threat- feet away, the shelter we sought — a

ened to sweep the little roadster from the farmhouse. highway. Before we had time to gasp We made one grand dash for the for breath, the rain was coming down in porch, our exit from the car being any- torrents, driving at us from the west with thing but dignified, and stampeded onto

all the fury of a gale. I tried to get into the low veranda without waiting to in- my slicker hurriedly, at the same time quire into the hospitalit\- of the farmer's

assisting the girls into theirs, but it was household. The farmer's wife opened an impossible task as the wind blew the the door and, trying to protect herself slickers inside out. and we could do no from the onslaught of the elements by more than try to hold them up against means of an old shawl, asked us what the charging battalions of rain. I we wanted. To us, the question seemed yelled to my sister to stop and let me so unreasonable that for a moment we drive, but my hoarse cries were lost in stood there speechless. the violent crashes of thunder and the "Good heavens, woman !" I yelled, terrific fierceness of the wind. I began "have you no humanity?" to wonder if there were any side curtains She eyed me suspiciously, wondering,

in the car to protect at least the girls in no doubt, what I was doing with four front, but vm speculation was suddenly girls in an open car on a night like that, cut short by the awful sensation of riding but, rather than expo.se herself any on uneven ground as first one side of the further to the frenzv of the storm bv

-20 — prolonged conversatinn, she let us into a local hotel. The other two, however, the house. I made several heroic dashes voted solidly that we attempt to make to the car for luggage, until it was all in, home, believing, as they did, that the and we were able to effect a change to storm could not possibly last much dry garments which at once renewed our longer. I was inclined to favor the latter hopes and revived our spirits. The group; so I added the weight of my farmer's wife was not unkind after she prestige to their counsels, and we pre- discovered that we had been .itlending a pared to set forth. religious conference, although she was By this time, I had ascertained beyond sorry that we were not Methodists. Her all doubt that there were no side cur- husband, too, was cordial, l)ut he watched tains : so the choice of places was not as liis wife closely before speaking and took difficult as it might otherwise have been. pains not to contradict her on any subject Two of my heroic passengers were as- upon which she had voiced her opinion. signed to the rumble seat, together with Meanwhile, the storm refused to abate most of the luggage. They were covered itself, and the house often shook to its over with nearly all of the blankets avail- very foundations, but we felt compara- able and were made as water-tight as pos- tively safe. We tried to call Rockford, sible. The remaining two were favored our home town, but the wires were all with front-seat accommodations and down, and there were no connections. slicker facilities. For myself, I took a We had been there about forty-five min- large canvas, which had fortunately been utes when I politely remarked that per- lying around in the car, wrapped it about haps we were keeping the family up me, and took my place behind the wheel. beyond their usual bedtime. We were off, with fifty-live miles to go. "Oh no," was her kind reply. "We The first five or six miles were tolerable, always stay up until nine o'clock." hut then the storm burst anew with all its It was a quarter to nine when she thus former fury. It was not strange to me diplomatically informed us that we could now how my sister had lost the road in stay fifteen minutes longer. the first outbreak. The continual play of At nine o'clock we promptly departed. lightning was my only guide, and be- The storm had by this time let up to the tween the flashes I was forced to depend point where it seemed to be merely a entirely upon instinct. In spite of the severe thunderstorm. We drove back to violent onslaught of the torrents, it was Mendota without any further mishap and necessary for me to drive with my head went into a drug store, remaining there out of the side of the roadster in order for an hour or two in the hope that the to watch, as best I could, the side of the storm would end. Little did we know road. As T held my left arm up to the that storm ! We kept on ordering sodas wheel, it created a valley in the canvas and sundaes, but the constant dash of the between the arm and my body. Down rain against the front window pane and this \alle}- gushed a mighty river of the incessant dimming of the lights with water which became a powerful cataract each strolce of lightning continued ^vith- as it tore over my right knee and de- out interruption. Our counsels were now scended precipitoush" to the roadster divided. Two of the .girls urged the floor and swashed about our ankles. The futility of proceeding farther and sug- sensation of having a miniature Niagara gested that we remain until morning in rushing over mv lower limbs was noth-

— 21- : IX>0

ing, however, compared to the dangers wished a hundred times over that I had

which confronted us. What if one of never made the trip, that I had never those wicked streaks of Hghtning, always consented to go to Starved Rock, or that

so close at hand, should strike us ? What I had never left Mendota where two of

if the violent wind should sweep us from the girls had so wisely counselled us to

the road? What if the water-soaked stay. Above all, I felt a certain responsi-

engine should refuse to function? bility for them, and the prospect filled me Our maximum speed was now about with a sense of indescribable horror.

seven or eight miles an hour, and at mid- Finally, T realized that we had arrived night we reached Compton. We parked at a brick pavement. The flashes of under the shadow of the village garage lightning disclosed a curbstone on either for a while, but the fierceness of the side. A town at last ! Suddenly, we tempest was uninterrupted, and we de- struck a flood of water, and the spray

cided to move on. I tried to take the leaped up all around us. One of the main street back to the highway, but I girls, knowing that the engine had been had not driven two blocks when there hot for some time, mistook it for smoke was a vivid display of lightning followed and opened the door preparing to jump such terrific crash of thunder that by a out. She probably would have accom- for a moment I was unable to hear a ])lished her purpose had I not immedi- thing. few feet farther, however, T A ately yelled to her. The flood was over slammed on the brakes. The girls the wheels, and, although the roadster screamed. A huge tree had just fallen pulled through, the motor actually did across the street and obstructed my way. l)egin to smoke, and I realized that we I disentangled my radiator from the mass couldn't go much farther. Rock ford was of green foliage and returned to the still twenty-five miles away, and we knew highway by another street. It was six- that we could not make it : so we made

teen miles to the next town ! our way to the nearest hotel. Dripping The violence of the tumult now with water, the girls rushed into the reached its height. The downpour of lobby insisting to the night clerks that we rain spurred on by the gale attacked us must have some rooms. He saw our with all the seeming fury of a hurricane. condition and, being a good business The crackling streaks of lightning zig- man. took advantage of our necessity, as zagged incessantly across the sky while we perceived when he presented us the the air was rent with crash upon crash bill tlie next morning. The girls dis- of deafening thunder. The girls, who patched telegrams to Rockford while I had hitherto borne it bravely enough, returned to the car for the luggage. A now gave vent to their emotions. They bath and dry bedclothes probably saved screamed and cried alternately, and I re- pneumonia. ceived a chorus of commands and en- some of us, at least, from to treaties in terrorized feminine voices. It was four o'clock when at last I got !" "For Heaven's sake, stop bed and uttered a prayer of thanksgiving !" "Xo, no, turn around for our safety. I had just closed my "Don't turn back! Keep on going!" eves when there was a pounding at the

I couldn't follow all of the directions door and the voice of the night clerk so we kept on going. For three terrible saving, "Rockford calling you." How

liours I drove on blindly, fearful every they found out where we were or were moment of instantaneous death. I able to get connections I could not guess.

-22 — I slipped on my clcithcs again antl de- Again [ returned to my room, and, scended into the lobby. It was niy this time, as I closed my eyes, I could father's voice on the phone. hear the diminishing patter of raindrops

"Everything is all right," I told liini. on the window sill and the echo of rolling

"We'll be home in the morning." thunder as it died awav in the distance.

I'll Meet You at the House

F. C. Arthur

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THE CAR slipped up to the curb, and my eyes from the square and followed the headlights bored into the cracked, him. The bumpy side street was bor- red brick wall. The wall was bare and dered by the town movie palace. It was forlorn. Here and there a brick was old and miserably small. The white ticket missing from its mottled, discolored sur- office elbowed the posters and took up face. We opened the doors and stepped what little room there was in the en- to the street. I picked up the racks and trance. The front was cut like a big the sax case. Doc fumbled in the seat horse shoe, and the cracked dinginess of for his trumpet and mutes. He reached the discolored whiteness was lighted by to the dash board and snapped ofif the hundreds of electric lamps. Here was lights. The outraged wall receded into the sparkle, the dash of the town. Poor its modestl}' veiling murkiness as I took sparkle, poor dash, it hardly made itself my foot from the running board and visible down the stolid street. The light turned from the car. My vision was was pressed in, driven back by the heavy, hemmed in. Up went my eyes, seeking oppressive air of the court house block. the open, and there, far up, a star I followed up the dry-smelling wood sputtered softly over the dull black out- staircase to the stunted landing, above line of the county court house. The which shone an unshaded light. We square was small, and the court house stepped into the hall and accustomed our- towered over it like some monstrous, selves to the lights. Doc went over to black tombstone. Black down the street. the man who seemed to be the leader of Black up above. Black almost every- the band and introduced himself. We where, except at the poorly lighted con- climbed onto the platform and started to fectionery. The confectionery was across .set up our horns and racks. The plat- the square, but, even so, I could sense the form was a crowded little place, pu.shed dusty cigarette advertisement in the up to one end of the hall. There was window, and the flies crawling up the scarcely room for the drummer and his pane. There was a cobweb over the gaudy traps. whole square. The leader sat at the piano. He was Doc moved oft, rattling the mutes an oldish looking man in a clean white against the trumpet case, and T jerked shirt and a straight little bow tie. His

— 23 — /^^

nose was his distinguishing feature. It promising. After playing to an empty hung out in the breathless air Hke an idly dance floor for the length of three tunes,

flapping sail. It was not only long, it we finally had the honor of playing while was wide. The leader was talkative and two of the local 3^oung ladies went optimistic, but he had one great fault. through a few refined and reserved con- He thought that everyone knew the same vulsions together. The males were the

tunes that he knew ; consequently he had more timid of the species. They lacked

brought no music. I trembled in my the confidence necessary to make them boots. A little confidence came back loose their hold upon their money. The

when I looked at the calm visage of the few that wandered in during the first banjo player. He was a bright-eyed, part of the dance were sketchy specimens eager fellow who was crippled in one leg. of the agricultural youth of the neighbor- My rack was jammed in close to him, hood. Their trousers were baggy, and and he hardly had room for the neck of their faces were blotchy and red. For his banjo. He busily tightened the strings some reason or other I was not attracted and plunked away at meaningless chords. l)y the men of the party. After we were more than ready, the The girls were different. They were gentleman at the piano looked wearily young. They were amused. They were over the empty dance hall and pulled out amusing. Their dresses were certainly his watch. not Paris models, but the colors were "Guess we might as well start. It's pleasing and the dresses were worn with past nine o'clock," he said sadly. 'TIow an air. The girls had rosy cheeks. They about 'Sand'?" were different from the liedraggled fash- Everyone agreed on the tune, and the ion patterns I was used to. The girls in leader hurriedly beat his foot against the the dance hall were excited, alive, and

floor, as if he wanted to get the thing happy, and their untrained facial mu.scles over in a hurry. The drummer failed to conceal their emotions. Some humped away, the banjo banged, and the came in with men. The seats filled up, piano rattled merrily. Doc screwed up and the sound of shuffling feet became his lips and blasted through his trumpet. audible above the thumping drums.

I was completely lost : "Sand" must have Things were looking up when the drum- been popularized some time before my mer beat a tattoo and cracked his stick

birth. After the first chorus I located the against the cymbal. key and began howling true to form. At Someone bawled out, "Intermission,"

times I had a little mechanical difficulty and we put down our horns. In a mo- with the instrument, to say nothing of ment the floor was clear, and the dancers

my musical troubles. I warmed up my liad gathered in the dark corners. I got clarinet and lost myself in a jumble of up, stretched my legs, and moved down blue notes. the hall toward the fire escape doors. These notes combined blueness with The air that floated in through the doors loudness. Our weird lamentations must was cool, and I stepped out onto the first have drifted out the open windows to the iron step. There was an arc light hang- streets below. A few timid souls began ing from a tall pole, and the alley was to tinkle their silver on the table and to lighted up in pale concentric circles. Just walk to the seats in a slightly bewildered across the alley was an ivy-covered wav. At first the crowd did not look church. An owl broke the silence with

— 24 — a whining cry. The town seemed de- thrust themselves into the glow of the serted and mysterious. No cars chugged lights that were hooked over our inusic up the street ; no couples strolled past the racks. In the midst of a chorus I sat up arc-lighted circles. The houses were and noticed a new girl. She was nice, or dark, and tlie quiet was like the quiet of at least 1 thought so. My fingers lost an isolated part of a basement. 1 could themselves, and sour notes poured out of have gone to sleep with pleasure, but 1 the bell of the horn. I caught myself and could not neglect the trumpet call of slumped lower in my chair. My body duty! rose and fell with the music. I winked Back at the platform Doc pulled me at the girl in my most devilish manner. conver- aside and struck up an animated The trumpet blared, and the girl's part- sation. ner whisked her away in a queer and "Did you see that babe in blue ? She's sensuous step. I picked up the clarinet, plenty nice. Don't you think so?" he and its vulgar shriekings filled the crazy asked anxiously. hall until the dance ended. sure, she's O.K.," I said. "A "Why, Doc implored me to hurry. We tossed little er vital. She looks like she's been — our horns into our cases and tried to col- around quite a bit." lect our wages. Something was wrong. "Boy! I think she's plenty nice! The leader whined about the crowd. He Here's the fellow she came with. She paid us almost half of what we had been can't shake him until after the dance. promised. I paused to object, but Doc

lUit listen ! She says she'll meet me at luistled me down the creaking stairs. We her house after he takes her home." slammed our cases into the back seat and "But say! Won't I sort of be in the tore down the street as fast as the Buick way? You'd better drop me off at your would go. We jerked around a corner. house." We missed our street. A stop sign ran "No! You're coming too. You can dizzily by us in the opposite direction. drive for me. I'm going to be busy. One more corner to turn and we would Come on. Let's get hot here. It won't

!" be at her house ! The tires complained be long now in shrill voices as we battered around the We picked up our horns and started last! the ? The tooting again. The crowd was better. corner. At What — liuilding one-story frame structure. The music got worse. I slumped in my was a chair and moaned into the sax. The heat Across the entire front stretched a sign and the darkness started to go around —Stevens Funeral Home. and around. Faces floated past and We went home to bed.

25- ! 1%'/

"Time Will Teir

John DeWolfe

Theme IS, Rheloric II, 1931-32

THE DULL boom of falling earth and time he noticed the two Smith boys. The the sharp snapping of mighty sup- younger one was afraid. Of what, ports echoed and re-echoed in the ears of Flanagan wondered. the five unfortunate miners. The black "Brace up, kid," said the older brother. silence was painful, as the five men stood After another sob, the kid sniffled and awed by nature's angry gesture. Flana- then grew quiet. Again all was still. gan, the gas inspector, had been on his "Maybe a prayer would help?" queried daily rounds, and had just paused to talk Johnston. to the men before he went above. The "We all know the Lord's prayer,"

falling earth had begun near the lift and Flanagan heard himself say.

crept back almost to the end of the level. Solemnly they repeated it. Scala kept The inspector noticed for the first time praying—first in Italian, then in English, that all eyes were upon him. and then he jabbered in both. Flanagan "What's the chances?" asked Johnston. wished that the Italian would shut up. A tremor seemed to break into the That was a good preacher they had blond giant's voice. Once before he had listened to last Sunday. The windows in experienced such a disaster, and had the church were an odd color. He hoped

lived. liis kids wouldn't be miners. Minnie, his Slowl}' Flanagan raised his safety lamp wife, would see to that. toward the roof of their prison. Every "What's the time, Irish ?" eye followed the telltale lamp upwards. "Three-thirty."

Halfway to the ceiling it broke into a "God ! time drags," said the elder flame. Smith. "Three hours," Flanagan said slowly. "Shut up," snapped Johnston. "We

"You guys all sit down," ordered gotta save air." Johnston. "This ain't goin' to be a The long silence continued with only picnic. You can douse the glim, too." the monotonous ticking of Flanagan's

Flanagan sat down heavily. Gee watch to break it. Each indulged in his to-morrow would be pay day. He had own thoughts. Death hovered above always meant to quit the mining business, them. The Smith kid was weakening but somehow he could never bring him- under the strain. His sobs were growing

self around to it. louder. "What did you say?" asked the Irish "Listen!" inspector. "You can hear 'em digging." !" "The time?" croaked Scala. "Thank God "Ten to three." Laughter and light-heartedness sprang Scala was a good man, thought Flana- into flame and lighted the little dungeon. gan, in line for promotion, too. The Time passed. All was quiet again. No accident would be a setback. There was one said much—just sat and thought. a sob over in the corner. For the first Flanagan felt his shirt. It was wet.

-26- " ! / D •)

llreathing was getting a little more ililTi- sorting foreman. Sorting foreman was cult, now. He thought of the paid vaca- a good job, but that wasn't the life for tion he had had last summer. He re- Scala. The kid had run away two years membered their picnic in the country. before, and he had returned at the time The birds had sounded cheerful, and the of his father's death. It was rumored grass was fresh. There wasn't any green that the .Smith boy was wanted by the grass in front of his little cottage. It police for a petty crime, but the company was too near the factor}' district. The protected him because of his father. The kids could take care of Ma. The house elder Smith had wanted to be a lawyer needed to be painted next spring. God, before his father's death. His family

it was hot in here ! They never had an had saved, and they were going to send electric fan at home. Who was that him to school next fall. There was a coughing? The sweat was getting in his man. Even Johnston respected and liked eyes. He licked his lip, and it tasted him. salty. Flanagan now felt drowsy. His youth

"What time is it?" said the elder passed before him. Those rescuers had

-Smith. to work over time—poor suckers ! What

"The time, damn you!" shouted Scala. if he died ! He wondered if his wife was !" "Here, take it Flanagan yelled and at the mouth of the mine. He felt a threw his watch against the wooden sup- hand in his—just the Swede trying to be port just over Scala's head. of some help. The rocks were getting

"Cut it out," growled Johnston. softer. Would those guys on the top

Their attention was turned to the ever get through ? What was that light ?

Smith kid. He was beating his hands The safety lamp ! He closed his eyes. against the wall. Everjiihing was revolving in circles. "Let me out! Let— Everything swayed slightly. He choked.

A crunch of rocks against bones ended Red, it reminded him of hell. Would he his pleas. go to hell ? Oh, God—everything was "The next—" growled the Swede. black and silent. They all knew what he meant. One Later a ray of light broke through the by.one Flanagan thought of the men with w-alls. Noisy drills sang merrily. The whom he had been imprisoned. John- opening grew larger. Finally there was ston, the fighting Swede, was king of room enough for a man to crawl through. them all. He was never at a loss in any The first one to go through went half place. Scala's wife put him where he way. He stopped.

was. To-morrow he would have been a It was six-ten

— 27- One of Our Finest

J. H. SCHACHT

Theme IS, Rhetoric II. 1931-32

TT WAS the morning of May 8. The each other, and murmuring that Mike * patrolman lolled back in his tilted chair and Rudy had always been such good in the Thirty-third Street police station, boys. Meanwhile old man Costa was and adjusted his feet on the rail at about gesticulating excitedly at old man Pietro, the same level with his eyes. He spat in and every now and then he would break the direction of a brass cuspidor in the out with, "It's a murder, I tellya!" To corner nearest him and, for the fifth or which Costa would reply, "Sure, but ya sixth time, turned to page two in The can't do nuttin' widda p'leece." Daily Clarion, from which a replica of So the Costas and the Pietros were his own heavy-jawed, small-nosed visage feeling upset the morning of May 8, stared back at him. Over the picture was though Patrolman John Sikyra was in the caption, "One of Our Finest," and high spirits. Mike Costa and Rudy underneath, a line of boldfaced type pro- Pietro weren't feeling anything ; they claimed, "Patrolman John Sikyra, who is were six feet underground. awarded $250 in The Daily Clarion's On the afternoon of May 5, tlie youths Police Hero Contest, for the deed of out- were not underground. They were walk- standing braver}' of the week." In a ing along Arthur Avenue, outside the three-quarter column story at the side of Ilruneo Press factories. They were on the page was told how Sikyra had sur- the east side of the street. On the west prised, pursued, and killed two of a gang side they saw a Buick sedan. It was an

of notorious automobile thieves ; the attractive car, and if they turned it into neatness and dispatch of his performance the right people, they would probably get was described in detail, and a good deal a hundred dollars apiece for it, the of favorable comment on the summary youths decided. They could use the swiftness of his action was presented. money, too, because Marie and Rita Sikyra's pale blue eyes scanned the Anastronova, the dancing sisters whom page and wandered away. His face Mike and Rudy were taking to most of broke into a smile. And then he the roadhouses east of the city, had been gufifawed. For Sikyra had been almost complaining recently that the boys ashamed to take the money. The shoot- weren't showing them a good time an_y-

ing had been so simple, he recalled ; the more. Accordingly the youths crossed whole thing had been just too easy. the street and tried to open the locked The incident had occurred three days door with one of Mike's imposing collec- before, and the families of Michael Costa tion of skeleton keys. and Rudolph Pietro had just given At this time Patrolman Sikyra was their deceased twenty-year-old sons the walking down the west side of Arthur, best funerals their limited means could toward the Bruneo Press. He advanced afford. Mother Costa and Mother Pietro to within thirty or forty feet of Mike and were, at the moment John Sikyra spat at Rudy, just as Mike's last key was being the cuspidor, sobbingly trying to console vainly twisted in the door lock. The

— 28 — ! / V f young men crossed the street in search trigger twice, but the hammer clicked on of a more effective means of entrance to empty shells. Though the policeman was the car, while Sikyra drew back in a now unarmed, Pietro had no thought of gateway of the high fence which sur- fight or escape ; besides, a crowd was rounds the Bruneo Press. He waited beginning to gather. While the erstwhile there about twenty minutes, and Alike bandit crouched against a garbage can, and Rudy reappeared. Mike took out a Sikyra reloaded his gun with six shining crowbar from under his coat, inserted it new cartridges. After he was through in the crack between the door and body with this operation, Sikyra stared at the of the car, anci jerked. Patrohnan youth for a moment, then grabbed him Sikyra saw his duty: he drew (lut his l)v the collar, and they started off down fortv-five caHber revolver, and with a the street toward a call box. ratlier pleased look in his pale blue eyes, After walking a block or so, young as if he were enjoying himself, he walked Rudolph recovered from his paralyzing toward the car and the youths. fear of sudden death, and began to Thev saw him when he was about reflect that the future did not look very twenty feet away, and whirled to face bright for him, even alive and in good him. Sikyra said gratingly, "All right, health. So he began to plead huskily: youse guys. Put 'em way up!" Piut "Listen, mister, gimme a break, will ya? young Costa swore and threw the crow- I ain't never done nuthin', mister. I ain't bar at the officer's head, while Rudy done nuthin. Gimme a break, chief. Pietro dashed down the street. Sikyra Gimme a break." dodged the crowbar, and fired. His first Patrolman Sik3'ra said nothing, but bullet smashed the radiator cap on the looked at Pietro aslant with his pale eyes. Buick. His second went through Costa's Pietro said again, "Please, mister, I gotta neck, and Costa fell on the curb, and mudder. Please gimme a break." kicked a little, and was quiet. "All right," said Sikyra. "All right, John Sikyra ran down the street after ril give 3'ou a break. When yuh come to Pietro, firing while he was running, and this here next alley, bust loose and run !" not hitting anything in particular. The down it. Run like hell car bandit stumbled and almost fell once, "Gee, thanks, chief !" said Rudy. so that Sikyra was only a few yards They came to the alley, on Arthur, behind him when Rudy turned into what between Twentieth and Twenty-first the officer knew was a blind alleyway. Streets. Pietro tore away and started to When Sikyra came around the corner, he run. John Sikyra raised his gun and saw Rudy Pietro back against a brick carefully fired point blank at the young building, and if the youth had been con- man's rapidly receding back. Pietro templating any resistance, he obviously shrieked and fell to his knees as Sikyra reconsidered when he looked into fired twice, more. The youth attempted Sikyra's revolver. He was, indeed, sick to rise, but he found the feat difficult, as with fear, and he flung himself on his he was undergoing hemorrhages in both knees and cried, "Don't shoot, mister lungs. So he crumpled up in the alley,

Don't shoot me ! T gotta mudder, I and choked and coughed while the patrol- !" gotta mudder man emptied his revolver for the second Sikyra cursed him and pulled the time that dav, and Rudy's blood colored

•29 — the rags and newspapers in the alley a at the Thirty-third Street police station, bright red that would soon turn to to which Rafferty replied that Sikyra had brown. always been a lucky stiff. Back again to May 8. "It's a murder," "One of Our Finest," said The Daily Costa; "Mike, he tella me cried old Joe Clarion, and The Daily Clarion was prob- 'fore he die atta hospital." ably right because, after all, it had the "Sure, but you gotta leave p'leece least prejudiced view of the matter, and alone," said hollow-eyed Anton Pietro. besides, "The Clarion's news is facts, no "Mike always usta go to Sunday school. more, no less," which, if you do not be- He was a gooda boy," wailed Mrs. Costa lieve, can see in black and white to Mrs. Pietro, who only cried quietly. you "It was just too dam' easy," laughed under the paper's "flag" on the editorial Patrolman Sikyra to Patrolman Rafferty page.

-30- >3J^

T-HECKfEN CALDKON

A Magazine of Freshman Writing

CONTENTS

ON AWAKENING 1 Dick Caddick WITH SEAPLANE AND SLEDGE IN THE ARCTIC 2 John H. Moore I'LL TAKE VANILLA 3 Elbert L. Herron A CRITICAL EVALUATION OF MY FIRST SEMESTER 4 Bernice Tanner DO AMERICANS THINK? 5 Donald Melville

THE HERO IN MODERN ADVERTISING . 6 William F. Ekstrom MARS AND THE MARTIANS 9 J. Robert Arndt PERCY GRAINGER U R. C. Hieronymus CRITICALLY SPEAKING 12 Grace E. Curran POINT COUNTERPOINT 13 Anne Brittin REFLECTIONS 14 Stanley Gawin Thoughts on Reverie 16 Homer Weir TWO INFLUENCES 17 Mary Ann Price CRISIS 19 Isabel Danley

CATHERINE THE GREAT (FRESHMAN) . 20 Margaret Reese THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER 21 March Henry McAdams HYMAN 22 Myron Swee

AN INAPPROPRIATE SPEED RECORD . . 23 1933 James L. Rainey IS IT BLOOD POISON? 24 C. R. Gairing •PATIENCE. FATHER!" 25 Vol.2 Mary Jane Kennicott BROAD-MINDED 26 No. 3 Bert Griesel AND. HE HAS A NAME 27 Richard Staggs RODERICK AND THE COCKROACH ... 28 John H. Schacht

PUBUSHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF. UMVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

On Awakening

Dick Caddick

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

IT IS early morning. The inky dark- raise my hand to cover it. My hand is ness literally streams through the win- miles from my body, and as a message dows leaving a swath of blackness which travels down my arm, it trembles just quickly melts into the quiet corners. The a little. I am fascinated by its hesitancy is forbidding, as if entire atmosphere as it slowly extends long fingers and it were a time set apart for the dead who reaches out and engulfs the bell which interference upon their soli- resent any subsides with startling suddenness. The tude. Theirs is a sacred isolation. shadows rush in again, falling over one I am asleep. I am floating through a another and piling up like thick clouds. void with no feeling whatever. I can- I feel as if they will smother me, and I not move or change my thought, but am try to fight off a longing to sink back, chained with invisible bonds which im- and give in. Rather hopelessly I push part a sense of security to my flight. them away in large masses that squeeze Vaguely I hear a sound which seems to through my fingers. I redouble my ef- come from a shiny, round bell far in the forts and suddenly push myself througli distance. It grows larger and larger, into the clear. I am awake. making a thunder in my ears. The bell pushes the surrounding blackness into I sit up in bed trying to remember why the corners and out of the windows. It I must get up so early. Then I contem- glance. is destroying something holy. Dimly I plate my alarm clock with a wry

realize that I must demolish it. I try to Once more we have had our battle.

[1] ;

With Seaplane and Sledge in the Arctic

John H. Moore

Theme 19, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

HARD HEELS clicked on the checker- When the sledge was mired in the slush, board floor of the Hbrary. The chcks I strained with both man and dog until were not those of heels to my ears; they finally solid footing was reached. were the sound of choppy green waves The motor of the seaplane failed. Fog breaking against the sturdy ice-scarred and great ground swells made life an bow of the Polar Bjord. The rows of uncertainty, while chilling winds and cur- book shelves in the browsing-room were rents carried the frail plane farther out magically transformed into glacier-cov- to sea. Their fourteen hours adrift were ered shores. The hurrying students dis- no more nerve-racking than the long sec- appeared, and in their places bobbing onds that I was with them. My finger seals and walruses sprang into being. As nails grew shorter and shorter, and when

I sat in an easy chair, I was gradually help finally arrived, I am afraid that I surrounded with ice, snow, and slush may have done a dance right there in the even the solid floor soon became a mass quiet browsing-room. of tiny rivulets. Too soon I turned the last page, and Never before had I become as en- after I had laid the book down, I slowly grossed in a book as I was in With Sea- became conscious that no one was plane and Sledge in the Arctic. My im- around. It was eight-thirty, and I had agination has often got the better of me not even noticed the growls issuing from

until I find myself merely reading words, the pit of my stomach. On my way but this book did not play upon my imag- home, my feet dragged as though they

ination so that I drifted ofT on a tangent were held back by the heavy slush, and

instead, it made me feel with the men when I crawled into the top deck of my concerned. When they broke through the swaying bed, even the clean sheets were

treacherous ice, I was as chilled as they. covered with snow and ice.

[2] —

ni Take Vanilla

Elbert L. Herron

Theme 13, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

MISS BLACK was completely side- One of the instructors in Russian tracked onto one of her philosophi- seemed to be very much interested in the cal discussions which her students know freshman lllini reporter who had just so well and which those who forget to been placed on the language beat. As he prepare their lessons like so much. "And started to leave her office the first day furthermore," she raved, "no person can after their meeting, she remarked that he consider himself educated, can say that should be very careful about the course he has gained all that the University has which he chose as a major. "I hope that to offer, unless he has gone through the you are not planning to enroll in the museum at least once." .School of Journalism," she added. The The occupant of seat five, row one, reporter admitted that he was preparing voiced an opinion. "In that instance," for entrance into the College of Journal- he suggested, "don't you think that the ism and laughingly asked if the instruc- student should also consider his educa- tor would recommend Slavonic tion incomplete if he has not seen the languages as a better major. "If you Materials Testing Laboratory?" want culture, Mr. Herron," she said, "I Aliss Black scowled. "Mr. Herron," can think of no better subject than she said in one of those disageeable mon- Slavic. You will certainly get little cul- otones which give the same emphasis to ture from the College of Journalism." every word, "We are not trying to be funny." I have never had it more thoroughly impressed upon my mind than at the present time that education can lead to A freshman who had been waiting in one of the worst forms of ignorance the outer office of a professor in the narrow-mindedness. I place education in College of Sciences for more than fifteen italics because I am not convinced that minutes picked up one of his books and this kind of learning is education. began to read. Less than five minutes A supposedly learned author recently later, the professor arrived and peered remarked that any man who cannot write over the boy's shoulder. "What book one hundred sonnets in one week is men- are you reading?" he asked. The fresh- tally lacking. What would be this same man was evidently pleased by the pro- author's reaction to the statement of a fessor's attention, and he replied that watch-maker that any man is half crazy the book was one of Scott's works. who can not make one hundred watches The teacher snapped out his disap- in one hundred days? The question seems proval, "You don't belong in this Col- too foolish to deserve an answer ; yet just

lege. You should be in the College of what is the difference between these two Liberal Arts with Mr. Herron here." instances? Both men are saying "I am

[3] the perfect man. Anyone who thinks or son should be conscious of the existence does different things from those that I of this vast amount of learning and think or do is not educated." should respect all fields of it. When a For many years the Barton Institute of scholar becomes so absorbed in one par- Engineering has led the field of "conser- ticular line of study that he fails to be vative" engineering education. Its board conscious of the existence of other learn- of administration has laughed at sugges- ing, then he has reverted to ignorance. tions that it recognize the place of liter- A professor can do more harm in this ary subjects in its curriculum. Recently University by holding the belief that he it was surprised by the result of a poll is teaching the only subject in the Uni- taken among the outstanding engineering versity than he can ever hope to counter- corporations of the country. It had asked act by enthusiasm for his course. He will the question, "Which do you prefer, a not only fail to instill this enthusiasm student who has specialized in engineer- into his students, in nine cases out of ten, ing (specialized to be taken as meaning but he will also give them a certain sort absolute specialization), or one who has of contempt for all his ideas. taken engineering subjects, philosophy, I am willing to let these "learned" men English, and the classics?" Without ex- keep up their specialization and their ception the companies answered that, egotistical feeling of superiority. I do not other things being equal, they would take hold them in contempt ; I merely think the student who had not been so narrow- that they are amusing. But if Supreme minded as to ignore other subjects. As a Authority finally decides that such result, Barton Institute has announced specialized and narrow learning is the that it will make drastic changes in its finest and most delicately flavored type curriculum. of education (thus contradicting both

Specialization in education is unavoid- the cultural policies of the Platos and the able. The knowledge obtainable concern- practical learning of our fathers), and I ing the universe is entirely too vast for am asked what flavor I desire, I'll answer one or one million people to be able to with the time-worn words, "I'll take absorb all of it. Nevertheless, every per- vanilla."

A Critical Evaluation of My First Semester

Bernice Tanner

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

WAS tremendously happy when my nois, expecting to meet the most interest- I parents consented to let me come to ing people and to learn the most fascina- college. At that time, a college education ting new things. I was eager to become and all its trimmings seemed essential for popular and intellectual. an intelligent, adult viewpoint on life. I A semester of college life, thoroughly- came eagerly to the University of Illi- different from my own conception of

[4] —

what it would be like, has rather disillu- covered that some of the students are sioned me. There are so many students, snobs, that some of the professors are yet I know only a few ; there is such a dull ; but there are students who are large amount of knowledge within my liberal-minded, sympathetic, and kind, reach, yet I have learned little. I have and there are instructors who make the become merely another student, an indi- daily dole of learning refreshing rather vidual without any individuality, going than depressing. to classes day after da}', feeling myself I have learned some hard facts in my but another in first cog a huge machine ; yet semester at college— from cruel ex- realizing that if I were to leave college periences which one faces and never con- not the slightest notice would be taken of fesses to anyone. However, when I feel my absence, nor would the wheels pause discouraged and ready to quit, I think of

for a moment in their daily revolutions. the all but unbelievable dullness of small- A rather petty thought, this last, yet dis- town life, of the slow succession of day turbing to a budding egotist like myself. following day, each weighted with a dis-

I have learned some things, however, mal monotony ; I know too the well- and the little knowledge I have acquired meaning vulgarity, the shabby dreariness fills me with a desire to learn more. I of Main Street. have come into contact with some very Knowing this, I cannot fail to view my interesting people and their compara- second semester with a boundless hope tively rich, vivid personalities have some- a breathless confidence, in short, that a how been woven into the threadbare rug new and brightly glowing vista lies just of my own mental being. I have dis- ahead.

Do Americans Think?

Donald Melville

Theme 12, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

A MERICA is now in many respects It is true that the speedy progress that

'^the foremost country in the world. has been made since the first days of Her three thousand miles of mountains, pioneer Americans and covered wagons plains, and deserts, stretching between and Indians is due to the initiative—the the mighty Atlantic and Pacific oceans, original thinking—of thousands of in- contain the greatest natural resources telligent Americans. The first pioneers and the most wonderful works of man to were forced to think, and think quickly, be found on earth. Inventions are turned in order to save their lives and the life of out each day by the score. American the country they worked and starved for. products are marketed throughout the The fierce competition that is evident in world. To ask if all this has been done modern business is also an incentive to without years of thought and careful quick thought. Thought is still essential preparation would be inane. for the preservation of the individual and

[5] ^/y

the race. On an evening when there are no friends

That is not the type of thinking, how- to interrupt, shall we sit in our favorite

ever, about which I shall talk. It is clear chair and reflect on some intellectual that a man must think during his work- problem? Of course not! We have no ing hours, but does he think con- time for such laziness. There is a good

structively in his periods of leisure? "movie"' to see, the radio to listen to, or Unfortunately a large part (I shall not a thrilling adventure book to read. Any

say a majority) of this nation of enter- or all of these things may be sufficient prising individuals positively shun all re- food for serious thought, but how many creation which might call for creative of us stop to analyze the "movie" we see, thinking. That they avoid such recrea- or the radio talk we listen to or the book

tion is probably the result of several we read ? Not very many, I venture to forces. We all have, no doubt, a heredi- say. But, unless we do this, we are losing tary laziness which has been common to the best part of the mental entertainment. the human race since Adam. Anything To be able to think problems through

which causes unnecessary exertion is to for oneself brings a satisfaction that can be banned. And because our minds have be gained from nothing else. All great become rusty through years of disuse, minds have been minds that thought for

any attempt at recreative thinking is cer- themselves. To sit before a fire in a com- tain to require an excess of mental fortable chair and lose oneself in the

energy. It is not difficult in this present intricacies of some problem is a pleasure

age to abstain from such thinking. There known to few. But if one goes through are many pleasant things to do that re- life without ever gaining this enviable quire none or almost none of our brain- power, one loses half the value of life

power. That is why they are pleasant. itself.

The Hero in Modern Advertising

William F. Ekstrom

Theme 7, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

WILL YOU please sign on the dot- emergenc}' to rescue perishing victims! ted line?" This was the question Luck Strikes! Soothes the nerves!" It

which confronted Captain Manning as he all sounded very beautiful until it was stepped ashore for the first time after the discovered that Captain Manning didn't Florida disaster. The next day, news- smoke. newspapers and billboards throughout The incident brings to our attention, the countr}' proclaimed in large letters: nevertheless, an interesting phase of

"Captain Manning smokes Luckies! modern advertising. The A m e r i c a g They're toasted! Crew of America gain people are great hero-worshippers. Not necessary strength and self-control in so long ago, schools, banks, and postal

[6] stations were closed and legislative as- one. Modern advertisers have made the semblies adjourned throughout the nation most of it. Many do not believe, of to commemorate the bicentennial anni- course, that the commodities really are versary of George Washington's birth. great contributing factors in making the We have erected shrines, memorials, and individual, but they have a great deal of monuments to our deceased heroes. In confidence in the judgment and discern- every city there is a Washington Street ment of a popular hero, and, conse- or a Lincoln Avenue. What state does not quently, are easily led to believe that any have a Franklin or a Jefferson County? product endorsed by him must be an ex- These are merely indications of our un- cellent one. dying devotion to those who have played The attractive part of it to the adver- important parts in our national develop- tisers is that the testimonials are not very ment. Among the living, however, it is difficult to obtain. Many of the so-called not those who are weighed down by the heroes are eager to give their services, as problems of state, or those who seek the they consider an endorsement as free welfare of their contemporary fellow- publicity and a very good source of in- mortals in scientific research, who receive come. Others are more difficult to per- public acclaim. It is rather the spectac- suade, but they can usually be brought to ular man who can hit a home run over terms by the jingle of shekels or insid- the gate in Comiskey Park or who can ious threats of boycotted reputations. repose for a month upon the top of a Whatever means the modern advertiser flagpole, who is rewarded with popular may use, he seems to have no trouble in applause. Until recently one might have obtaining a host of endorsers from added the girl who danced with the almost any station in life. Thus we are

Prince of Wales. enabled to see Muriel Vanderbilt in all The interesting phase of this hero- the glorious luxury of her private bed- worship is the general desire for emula- room, and, of course, we take special tion. If Babe Ruth plaj-ed croquet in his notice that the most conspicuous of her back yard at night, it would be necessary furnishings is a Simmons bed, without for hundreds of American boys to do the which no well- furnished society bed- same, or if Mary Pickford ate only two chamber would be complete. The adver- meals a day, it would behoove a large tiser has his troubles, however, when percentage of the more delicate sex to do there is not full cooperation all around. likewise. No wonder advertising finds an Thus, one can imagine that when Alice excellent opportunity to commercialize Roosevelt Longworth publicly announced this great American characteristic. There the price she had received for endorsing is, however, a reasonable basis for this Ponds, there must have been considerable desire to emulate our heroes. In the first resentment on the part of Mrs. Marshall place, native genius is not always re- Field, Queen Marie of Roumania, Lady' garded as the important factor in deter- Asquith, and Mrs. William Borah, who mining leadership. Many people consider were probably landed for less money. it the result of external influences, such The testimonial type of advertising has as the development of habits and person- become very widespread, therefore, but it al application. The step from this point has also become dangerously exaggerated to the use of certain products in develop- and far-fetched. In many cases the en- ing strength and energy' is a very natural dorsements are undoubtedly honest, but

[7] ;

the language of the advertiser is obvious- himself publicly disclaims any real en- ly exaggerated to arrest public attention. thusiasm for the article endorsed. Mrs. It might have been perfectly possible that Longworth, for instance, practically ad- the crew of the America smoked Luckies, mitted that such was her case when she but to attribute the great strength and disclosed her commercial transaction endurance of the rescuers to the energiz- with Ponds. Captain Manning did not

ing effects of the cigarette is quite evi- come out directly with a statement, but dently an overstatement of facts. Movie it was learned from reliable sources that stars may possibly use some of the he was a non-smoker. Thus, we have articles, to the excellence of which they three aspects of testimonial advertising testify, but whether their success upon which have materially weakened its ap- the screen is attributable to them is peal in the public mind: exaggeration of another question. Nevertheless, our mod- facts, the absence of any real connection ern advertisements blaze forth their between the commodity and the endorser, stories of success wrapped up, as they and actual denials of any familiarity with

are, in a little bar of Lux soap or a bottle the article endorsed. of Listerine. As a result of this weakening of public For a screen heroine to endorse a confidence, modern advertising faces a beauty cream seems perfectly permis- severe test of public approval. Hero- sible, but too often testimonials are en- worshippers are becoming suspicious of tirely out of the endorsers' fields. It their heroes. When one of the elite at- would be interesting indeed to notice the tributes his success in blazing words to a sort of life led by many of these people certain cigar, the hoi polloi smile, and

in the public eye. For instance, it has skeptically comment on the "rake-ofY" he been ascertained that Constance Tal- received for the endorsement. The im-

madge chews Dentyne gum to preserve portant thing, however, is not whether or her teeth ; takes RIarmola Tablets to im- not the testimonial type of advertising prove her figure ; uses a Sure-Fire Thor- has ceased to be effective. Shrewd busi- en Lighter to light her cigarettes ; wears ness men would soon perceive that. What

a Juliet engagement ring ; rides in a car is more vital is whether the attitude of equipped with Air-Container inner tubes the public toward advertising as a whole goes to bed wearing a Benrus wrist- has not been affected by wholesale de-

watch ; and is awakened with an Ansonia ception. If the advertiser purposely

alarm clock. Thus the public is given a allows the consumer to be led astray in supposedly accurate picture of the life of one type of advertising, will he not also a Hollywood star. Imagine Miss Tal- do the same thing in another? Certainly

madge being startled from her repose the public is justified in asking such a each morning by the harsh strains of an question, especially since there are other alarm clock! We can appreciate the en- appeals in advertising which also make dorsement of Fleischmann's j'east by a gross misrepresentations. Modern adver-

Berlin medical authority regardless of tising claims for its purpose that it edu-

whether we know him to be an authority cates the public. Since it is the consum-

or not, but it is more difficult to under- ing public that eventually pay for it, they stand the connection between an actress have a right to demand an honest educa-

and a set of inner tubes. tion. What they get is merely a sham in Occasionallv the testimonial writer the form of a battle set up by the diaboli-

[8] cal cleverness of modern advertising ing hope to survive. The endorser should agents. The successful advertiser must have an honest relationship with the com- meet the test of public confidence. Only modity which he endorses, and his testi- by purging itself of exaggerations and monials should be kept within the limits misrepresentations can modern advertis- of reasonable probability.

BiHl.IOGUAPHY' Christian Century 47:165 February S, 1930. American Mercury 17:444-451 August, 1929. Business li'eek p. 8 February 5, 1930. Magazine of Husiiiess 55:537-538 May, 1929. Nation 128:364 March 27, 1929. Outlook 151:583-584 April 10, 1929. Outlook 157:398-399; 434-436; and 466-467.

Mars and the Martians

J. Robert Arndt

Theme 13, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

THE MARTIAN problem is one that to visit the earth by means of space has puzzled some of the best minds flyers ? ever since the Italian astronomer, Schia- In the first place, it is assumed that parelli, observed the markings on Mars the planet is or was inhabited by super- which he termed "canali." The brilliant intelligent beings. This seems logical Professor Lowell devoted a lifetime to since Mars, on account of its smaller size, the study of the fantastic markings, and, must have cooled many years before the coming to the conclusion that they were earth and given rise to life sooner. But canals, he advanced many ingenious it is unknown whether Mars is peopled proofs of their existence. Most of the today. If, indeed, the Martians were astronomers of today are agreed that supermen, as no doubt they were, it is not there are such canals, but they do not impossible that the Martian canals are pretend to know how or why they were still functioning and will perform for constructed. Science, however, is unani- years to come, all without any existing mous on the point that they do exist, and Martians. In other words, their machin- if they drain the water from the polar ery, set up millions of years ago, might regions, as Lowell insisted that they do, still be working. A race of supermen then the Martians have solved the prob- would encounter no difficulty in having lem of making water flow uphill. their work done by robots and leaving This leads to a thought of interest to this stupendous monument of their work most people— if the Martians are such behind them. marvelous engineers, why do they not Secondly, the Martians may still be signal, and why have they not attempted there. They may be a blind race, and have

[9] —

no interest in other worlds. On the earth, to them. A Martian weighing one hun- there are the super-intelligent termites, dred and fift}' pounds on his planet totally blind, who can get along exceed- would weigh four hundred and fiity on ingly well in spite of their handicap. this world. He could not possibly ac- Indeed, they have very nearly succeeded commodate himself to his excessive in overrunning certain parts of this weight, nor would he be able to breathe world. the earth's viscous atmosphere, without in their Thirdly, the Martians, high suffocating in a short time. For millions civilization, millions of years ahead of us, of years, the Martian has existed in a have long since studied the earth may very thin atmosphere with a pressure of and its inhabitants and come to the con- two and a half pounds per square inch clusion that nothing could be gained by a pressure less dense than Saturn's, visiting this world, let alone settling upon Neptune's, or Jupiter's. If a normal it. The intelligent Martians may be human being were transported to Mars, afraid, for one thing, to land upon this he would have to breathe the thin air and planet, because they would surely fall become accustomed to the higher gravi- prey to the earth's destructive diseases, tational pull. After he did so he could which they could not hope to conquer. run many miles without fatigue, and Since they have an ample supply of land in air without ap- and have adapted themselves to their en- jump many feet the vironment, the earth probably means parent effort. nothing to them. For one thing, the earth Such a planet would indeed be an in- being larger than Mars, has a greater teresting place to visit, but for a while, gravity pull and would prove destructive I'll stay upon terra firma.

BlBLlOCRAPHY

Randolph, J. R.; "Can We Go to Mars? Goil- dard's Rocket," Scientific American, 140- 142. August, 1928

Meek, Capt. S. P. ; "Mars," Amusing Stories. October, 1928

[10] ! ;

Percy Grainger

R. C. HiERONYMUS

Theme 14, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

THE SANTA FE Navajo pulled into camp in northern Michigan. Dressed in a small town in western Iowa, the a camper's khaki outfit, he entered the train doors were opened, and an at- boys' clubhouse alone to play a while for tractive little lady, followed by her ath- his own pleasure and relaxation. He be- letically built husband, stepped off on to gan with scales and exercises, then start- the desolate platform. The train chugged ed on technical fireworks of various away and the couple set out on foot for kinds. A little while later, a trombone their little bungalow half a mile away. player came out with the information Presently the man, clad in overalls, and that there was some backwoodsman over pushing a good sized wheelbarrow, re- in the clubhouse who was playing the turned to the station. On his unusual piano as he'd never heard it played vehicle he piled as man}' of his trunks before. as he could, then transported them away, The camp orchestra rehearsal was at his wheelbarrow rumbling noisih' over nine in the morning; so the stage hands the rough pavement, and his bushy usually arrived on the scene about eight brown hair waving in the breeze. to see to the arranging of chairs and Yes, after he had again and again music. The first day of Mr. Grainger's thrilled European audiences, Percy stay in camp, they came over the top of Grainger, world famous pianist, had re- the hill to see him hard at work shifting turned home. chairs and pianos, with the greater part Known to thousands of concert-goers of the job completed. Imagine a famous all over the world as a wonderful musi- musician arising to prepare for any or- cian, he exhibits, even for a composer, a chestra practice most singular and wayward personality. His ensembles and arrangements are He receives nearly as much money for as highly individual as his personality his concert performances as any artist, for instance in one of his selections, but the way in which he spends it is en- fifteen pianos, which he himself helped tirely different. One day a friend asked move onto the stage, were used along him to explain why he so frequently rode with a whole galaxy of xylophones, cel- all night in a day coach instead of a estes, vibra harps, chimes, bells, and luxurious drawing room. He replied, gongs. Sunday afternoon, in addition to

"Well, if I had a concert the next night, the orchestra's colorful rendering of his

I wouldn't do it, but the money I save unique compositions and arrangements, makes two little orphans a whole lot Mr. Grainger, attired in white duck trous- happier." ers and an army shirt, held the crowd of Two summers ago he arrived, un- seven thousand spellbound with his won- known to a great many of us, at a music derful piano playing. Once during the

[11] ?^^

concert, it being necessary for him to go I understand that last winter Mr. from the conductor's rostrum to the solo Grainger appeared at a Chicago Sym- piano, rather than walk around the whole phony Orchestra rehearsal in a new dress row of instruments, he merely vaulted suit and a highly polished pair of hiking over one of them, greatly amusing the boots ; and that just before a solo per- audience, and incidentally saving time. formance in Danville, Illinois, he learned These performances impressed u s that something was amiss with the piano ; greatly, because the guest conductor the so he procured from the janitor a ham- previous week had been a reserved mer, and, in his tuxedo and before a American composer, who continually car- packed house, crawled underneath the ried with him a sophisticated and lordly instrument, and presentl}' emerged with air, and who would rather have died than turn a hand to help anybody, or descend the damage repaired. to the level of the rest of us. What a temperament!

Critically Speaking

Grace E. Curran

Theme 16. Rhetoric I, 1932-33

NOT IN DEFENSE of the gangster when I was small, I know that shooting move, but merely as a matter of and killing are as natural to them in their arguing against a point which I believe play, as dolls and "dress-up" are to little

false, I want to say that I don't at all girls.

agree with the first point discussed in Let me give as an example a famous Katherine Stiegemeyer's theme, radio star, a crooner. Todaj' Bing Crosby "Children and the Gangster Movie." is the idol of a thousand infatuated

After reading the first few paragraphs, I women all over the country. How did he

decided that the author did not know get his nick-name ? Why, when he was a

small boys as I know them ; for from my little boy, he played with a toy gun and own experience in playing with boys shouted "Bing!" at everyone who passed

[12] him on the street. And that, Miss Stiege- mother caught them burying me alive. meyer, was long before the time of the And, Miss Steigemeyer, there were no gangster movie. gangster movies in those days. For the greater part of my life I have Moreover, the older of these boys are lived next door to a family of seven now fine young men, two of whom hold boys. I spent all my time playing with responsible positions. The younger are them, since there were no girls of my age either in college or in high school, and in the neighborhood. Our favorite game none of them shows any signs of being was either "Robbers" or "War." Theirs a nervous wreck. I myself am a rather was the kind of family which allows its healthy specimen for a girl who was children to do anything so long as they raised on shooting and killing. are having a good time. And since this These games are natural to all small was the period directly after the World boys. Doctors in those days tried to War, my playmates dug a long deep blame the war for the bloodthirstiness of trench in their back yard, and we spent youth. Now they are trying to blame the every day of one summer playing in that gangster movie. I don't know what they trench. There wasn't one day during that will find to blame next, but boys' games time that I wasn't shot and mortally will go on essentially the same no matter wounded a dozen or more times. If I what is to blame. A boy can't be happy didn't fall down dead just when they unless he is being a man, and his idea of shot at me, I was in disgrace. One day being a man is to handle a machine-gun they even dug a grave for me, and my or a revolver with dexterity.

Point Counterpoint

Anne Brittin

Book Rcfort, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

T DO NOT KNOW whether I under- ted by the Church as a means of bringing ^ stood the real idea of Point Counter- young Christians into the world. Of point, even after I read it two or three course, mediaeval Christianity has van- times. However, the theme of the book, ished, but its attitude toward sex still re-

I believe, is that modern civilization does mains the basis of the modern attitude. not allow people to be human beings. At first thought, such a statement seems Mediaeval Christianity started the prac- to be silly, reviewed in the light of the tice of looking upon the natural instincts prevalence of the modern sophisticate of mankind as beastly, and it attempted who has no moral standards at all. Such to suppress them by mortifying the flesh. a type is represented in Point Counter-

It regarded sex as an evil or, at the best, point in the characters of Lucy Tanta- merely a shameful necessity to be tolera- mount and Spandrell. They, at any rate,

[13] seem to be free of any of the repressions beauty and, when rightly expressed, is as and inhibitions fostered by the Church. significant. He seems to think that we However, they too, like the ascetics and should give up scientific thought and saints, regard sex as beastly and hate it. philosophy in favor of Living (whatever But while the Christian ascetics fled from he may mean by Living). Lord Edward life into monasteries or the desert, these Tantamount may have had a childish at- young moderns show their hate by pro- titude toward his wife, but still I do not miscuity and lasciviousness, and cultivate see that he was fleeing from reality when desires that have no natural existence. he experimented on newts. What else Not only is modern civilization unad- would you have him do ? Find reality by justed sexually, but it tends to renounce painting plump, wooden- faced nymphs reality in favor of abstractions. Science dancing coyly under bilious-looking and big business are helping the ghosts trees ? of the Christian ascetics to make man- The characters in this book are carica- kind as non-human as possible. The as- tures, and most of them are pretty dis- cetics wanted to repress the desires ; the agreeable. Practically all of them are like scientists want to make life a thing of case-histories from Freud, and it is pure mentality ; the business men want to rather amusing to pick out what particu- turn their workers into machines. I am lar complex each one has. not certain whether I agree with Huxley criticize that science is a childish refuge from There is certainly nothing to reality, while art is somehow vital and in Huxley's style, for it is perfect. His significant. Surely intellectual curiosity descriptions of music are unlike any is as vital a mental trait as the love of others I have ever read.

Reflections

Stanley Gavvin

Theme 16, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

FOR THE third time I had caught my- I were in a trance. This ceaseless study self mechanically rereading the same had stupefied me to the point where my sentence. Somehow or other the page mind was but a vacuity. At this moment before me had gradually resolved itself the hideous yellow light cast on the book into a meaningless jumble of words. For page before me unexplainably began to many hours I had pored assiduously over irritate me. The books scattered with my books until my mind had become confusion over my desk aroused within dulled and inert. I no longer read the me a sullen hatred towards them. The words with understanding but only form- ponderous wisdom of the immortals con- ed them automatically in my mouth as if tained in those books oppressed and

[14] weighed me down with its solemnity. I, transformed these solid pillars of stone then, experienced a most inexpHcable into something ethereal—something fan- yearning for release from this voluntary tastic. As I peered down the vista of incarceration. I craved freedom— free- these tall columns destined to stand for dom from these petty worries, from these centuries, I was more than ever impres- transient, relatively unimportant matters. sed with the ephemeral quality of life.

I could not bear this confinement any Today we are here ; tomorrow we are longer. Flinging away my book, I gone. These mighty pillars, creations of snatched up my cap and dashed headlong man, will perform their task long after out of the house into the open. their creators have vanished and turned

Down the street I raced as if pursued to dust. Involuntarily there escaped from

by some relentless ghost. I had com- my lips the eternal why, the query that pletely lost control of myself. Only one has been propounded by man since the passion governed me—to increase as dawning of time. The columns answered much as possible the distance that sepa- me not, but stood mute and silent as with rated me from home. On and on I blindly condescending air they towered over me.

ran till, through sheer exhaustion, I was After ni}' utterance had died away upon forced to reduce my pace to a walk. The the still night air, silence, heavy and awe- chilly air of the prairies— for by now I some, fell upon ever\-thing. Terror with had left behind me the lighted streets of cold and clammy hands seized ni}' heart. the town—soon brought me back to my Quickly wheeling away I scrambled senses. As my reasoning became more madly up the remaining stairs till finally and more rational, I became dimly con- I reached the uppermost heights of the scious of a huge, sombre shadow that Stadium. loomed up menacingly in the velvety I glanced over the parapet. I saw

darkness. At first I was unable to place spread out before my feet the quiet, som-

myself, but it finally dawned upon my nolent countryside. Farther to the north befuddled intellect that the dark shadow and west I could make out the myriad before me was the University Stadium. lights that marked the environs of the

Before I knew it, I found myself as- University Campus and surrounding cending the stairs of the Stadium. You neighborhood, thousands of lights that

ask me why I did this? I don't know. marked the places of thousands of stu- Something something within me dents poring industriously over their les-

urged me on. Let it suffice that for sons. I could visualize those students,

reasons unknown I had entered the prodded on by insatiable ambition,

grounds and climbed up the stairs of the hunched over their books till far into the

Stadium till presently I reached the ter- night. Through education, they sought a race halfway to the top. The scene that better tomorrow—a tomorrow that never

I beheld that night wrought such an in- came. And I wondered whether it was

delible impression upon my mind that I all worth it. Man is born, toils and suf-

am sure I shall not forget it to my dying fers, and then dies. What does then all day. this ceaseless, futile groping mean? Lofty pillars bathed in the cold, harsh Whither are we going? Is living worth light of the silvery moon stretched away while? What keeps us from suicide? Is

endlessly till finally they lost themselves it fear of the unknown after death? Is it in dim obscurity. Moon, the magician, faith? Why is man such an impotent

[15] creature vainly knocking at the massive for centuries past have failed to unravel, gates of life? while, above, the moon smiled upon me

I glanced at the stars in the hope that with an inscrutable, enigmatical smile. As they might answer my questions. They I sat thus, there came to my mind these only mocked me. The weight of the uni- fatalistic lines of the Persian Tent-maker verse and infinity weighed upon my heart that served to assuage momentarily the like a leaden burden. I sat down. sorrow in my heart: "Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend. There in the misty moonlight I sat lost Before we too into the Dust descend; in a reverie—I, insignificant creature, Dust into Dust, and under Dust to he. Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer, and^ trying to unravel the riddle that sages sans End !"

Thoughts on Reverie

Homer Weir

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

ISN'T IT ODD that things which are present-day matters, I wonder if all our

•1 far removed from the present moment experiences are kept locked in some often suddenly appear in our minds with routine-bound part of our brain until

startling clarity? Today, as I was sitting some unexpected key opens the door and in the library, translating German, I sud- we live them again. denly heard the chirping of southbound If these experiences are kept in some

blackbirds. I seemed to see the swarms such manner, what pleasure I could en-

of birds flying swiftly about overhead. I joy by discovering this key. When I had experienced the queerest feeling of being derived the mystic formula for reviving

once again in the fall, and even felt the past events, my moments of unhappiness same laziness which overcomes me each would be at an end. For, whenever all fall evening. Many other times, when I was not right with my world, I would have been far from the coast, I have have only to draw from my experience distinctly heard the sound of waves roll- some of the past joy and content, and, in ing up on the shores at Santa Barbara. that, forget my troubles. Perhaps, after

I not only heard the sound of the waves, perfecting this formula, I might contrive

but once again I sat on Castle Rock, to market it. Imagine the universal joy

staring fascinated at the phosphorescent which I should create. Small girls would water below. Similarly, at other times, I again play with their lost dolls. Old men have relived events which have happened could enjoy once again the pleasures and before, living them, not as a conscious spirit of their youth. Bereaved relatives day-dream, but directly with no con- could once more have their dearest ones sciousness of the contemporary world with them. Everj^vhere sunshine would around me. When I come back to be created gloom would be dispelled. ;

[16] —

Where can I find this "Open Sesame" to down from the wall. He surely knows heaven ? where to look. He won't tell. Two

As I write, I am under the gaze of a painted cherubs smile intimately as if

Chinese Buddha, iron, serene, myster- they too know. They won't tell. Such ious. Perhaps he holds the secret. He knowledge is not for mortals but is for won't tell. An ancestor of mine stares those in eternity.

Two Influences

Mary Ann Price

Theme 16, Rhetoric I, 1932-33 npHIS AUTUMN it was required of that she left the room. Sitting there alone

* an English history class in the Uni- I thought of the people I had known in versity of Illinois to read the historical my girlhood, which was passed in a small biography, Elicabeth and Essex. One village less than an hour's drive from night, just as I had finished reading the Champaign. I decided that two women, book, the girl who roomed across the unknown to themselves, had wielded an hall from me—a very bright senior for influence for good upon me. One was whose opinions I have great regard The Banker's Wife came into my room with the salutation, "Hello Sally! What are you doing?" I The banker of our town was a large told her I had just finished reading my attractive man past middle age. He was book, and we immediately fell into a dis- the son of wealthy Kentucky parents cussion of the effect the personality of who owned more than a section of land

Elizabeth had had upon the English in our community, and it all fell to his people. At the close of the conversation share at the death of his father. He had I remarked, "It was probably because married before he came to our town to she was a queen. I suppose my personal- live. His wife was a beautiful woman, ity would not be felt however strong it tall and slender, and the daughter of might be." The senior replied, "Each wealthy parents. She had been reared in person with whom you have come in Cincinnati. Her education was received contact has left some impression upon in an exclusive school for girls, and her you, and you, in turn, will leave some manners were perfect. In my early child- impression upon those you meet. You hood, the church was the center of social may not realize the fact, but the impres- life, and I remember when I sat in my sion will be made just the same." With seat about half way back, by the side of

[17] k W V

my mother, and watched this gracious kind that is built for hard work and will

lady walk gracefully down the aisle be- hunt for it if it is not in sight. She had hind her husband to their pew in the no children, a fact which she often la-

front of the church. I would watch for a mented, but she adopted all the children glimpse of her beautifully manicured in the town and was known to them as hands with their glittering diamond rings Auntie White. She usually accompanied and would steal a glance at my own nails, her husband when he was called to assist blushing if they were rimmed with dirt. the stork, and after the baby was washed After the service she took her place near and dressed and the mother made as the door and extended her hand in greet- comfortable as possible, she took her ing to each one as he passed. Her greet- record book from her pocket and said, ing was friendly and gracious, but never "I want to enroll this baby on the baby- familiar. Her elegant manners and her roll of my Sunday-school class." She fashionable well-chosen clothes were in was superintendent at the village church such marked contrast to those of the and was the teacher in the primary Sun-

hard-working farmers' wives who com- day-school class. I still remember that, prised most of the congregation, that, to when we had gathered in the room as-

the bashful little girl who watched her signed us in our dingy little church, so intently, they seemed to have come Auntie White had us bow our heads from fairy land. The dear lady died of while she knelt and asked God to diphtheria when I was twelve, but I am care for each little one for another week. sure that the influence which her grace After the prayer, I always lifted my

and culture cast upon us still lives. head with the confident feeling that He The other personality was as dififerent would do so because Auntie White asked but equally as strong. This woman was Him. She was always the first visitor when sickness beset us, and her cheerful The Doctor's Wife smile and serene eyes were a better tonic Dr. White was a country doctor and than her husband's medicine. When age had served us for many years. He had, came upon this good couple, they retired by hard work and thrift, accumulated a to a distant city to be near relatives and

small fortune, acquired a comfortable to get the rest they deserved. Then it

home, and become very independent. His seemed as if our community life could

wife was a tall, rather stout woman, with not go on without them, but circum- honest, bright gray eyes and hair that stances adjusted themselves and we

was just curly enough to have a dis- struggle along. The children are all ordered look. I cannot tell you what she grown now. Many have even outgrown

wore, for I never noticed, and I always the teachings of Auntie White, but I am liad the impression that she, too, did not sure a lucky few are better for having pay much attention to her attire. She was come in contact with this calmly poised, a very strong and efficient woman, the useful, unselfish woman.

[18] ;

.nsis

Isabel Danlky

Thewc 16, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

T HAVE SEEN men stand in front of For long minutes he stood motionless, * employment bureaus for hours on end. pressing his hands hard against his sides. With dead, gray, blank faces and gray, No longer did his body seem to cage in stooped bodies they push back and forth his spirit, for his whole soul was soaring in an endless line. Many of them are up with the cloud. He was free, and felt dying of hunger and exposure. Most of himself old and wise to realize it. them are bitter and can see no joy in any- The scene changed, and he was stand- thing—no hope of happiness. Once, how- ing on a hill. Around him sheep grazed, ever, I believe I saw the soul of one of and far ofif a lake glimmered before a these men, touched by an imaginary dark frieze of trees. There was a soft, glimpse of beauty. Had he not been quite muted hum in the air. He drew a deep so down-hearted, so pessimistic, he might breath. It seemed so sweet he tried to have held this vision as something to hold it but soon had to gasp for more. live for. I was sitting in a car on the He had wondered about that noise, but other side of the street. Worn, unshaven, now he knew what it was—life going on, and shrunken, he was waiting outside of doing little things that make noises like one of the agencies. His head was breathing. thrown back, and I saw that he was He sat down on the hilltop and locked looking at a cloud. Other men pushed his hands around his knees, all the while him out of line, but he did not know it feeling oddly removed from the motion. he was looking at a delicate, white cloud In moving an arm or hand, he became

in a wide, clean sky. a feudal lord over his body ; his spirit

As I watched him, I felt my thoughts was power, while his body was nothing. become one with his. Reality faded away, Turning on his side, he began to finger and I shared a few, unexplainable, but the grass. It was so silky! He broke a beautiful moments with him. Either en- silver of it between his fingers but was tirely in my imagination or, as I really immediately sorry. Thoughtlessly he had believe, through a union of our minds, done something beyond his power to re- the whole scene changed, and I saw him pair. He bent over and smoothed the again. other blades. A tiny bug ran out. How

He was standing in a little valley. Tall busy it was ! It ran from one bug to wild swamp-grass grew to his knees and another—a gossip probably. Hundreds of billowed around his legs. Silver leaves little bits of life were humming around fluttered brightly like cut steel beads, and him, with him. He looked up and saw fir trees rose blackly up in a silhouette a small, white cloud—a very quiet cloud, against the sky. The breeze blew a little untroubled, restful. A strange desire fringed cloud overhead. Looking up, the came to the man. He sprang to his feet lonely man was lost in the wonder of it. and reached upward. Standing on tiptoe.

[19] he strained high toward the cloud. It His arms dropped to his sides, and he seemed to recede before his outstretched hung his head. of illusion faded, and once arms. He reaHzed the truth only too The mist more I saw him standing worn, unshaven, quickly. He was an earthlj^ creature and shrunken, outside an employment bureau. would be forever and ever. He had Other men had pushed him out of line. thought he was lord over his body. No, He turned and pushed fiercely back far from it, his body ruled and held him again. from the attainment of spiritual desires. A small white cloud had blown over A hurt, rebellious look came into his eyes. the city and was gone.

Catherine the Great [Freshman]

Margaret Reese

Theme 19, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

T F CATHERINE THE GREAT, who morning to go rabbit hunting. In her ^ became the Grand Duchess of Russia, capriciousness, she would sometimes in 1744, at the age of fifteen, were a move the furniture in her room every freshman in the University of Illinois today to satisfy her inward hatred of day, she would probably have many un- monotony. usual college experiences and would Fike would like physical education but graduate with an outstanding record. would probably enter the Commerce Catherine, or "Fike" (a pet name given .School and, after her prerequisite work, to her by her father. Prince Christian would decide to become a lawyer. As a August of Anhalt-Zerbst), would not graduate from the Law School, Fike

come to the campus for fall rushing. She would plan to be the greatest of all would come to school with the fixed idea woman lawyers. Her exceptional deter- of gaining a good education. No matter mination would culminate in her earning how many rushing dates she were offered, that position.

Fike would refuse them all and would On campus Fike would be known as be very blunt in telling sorority girls that the greatest horsewoman ever to ride she wished to remain an independent. in a University Horse Show. Her riding Fike's room would be in some home form would be exquisite, and for four quite a distance from the campus. Her years she would receive the blue ribbons strong body would demand a long walk in the Annual Homecoming Horse Show. before classes, and a brisk stride for a Her very strong personality would at- few miles would settle Fike's mind for tract many lovers to her. Her unattrac- study. Fike would not like roommates. tiveness would be forgotten when one Freedom in doing just what she desired spoke to her, and each one who made at any time would suit her better. She love to her would be charmed by her would often get up at three o'clock in the truthfulness and by her dominating per-

[20] An Inappropriate Speed Record

James L. Rainey

Theme 5, Rhetoric I, 1931-32

STAGE FRIGHT claims its victims in Someone gave me a firm little push. I many ways. Some people get by with started out, setting my course for a chalk momentary nervousness. Others find that mark, which indicated the center of the their vocal cords become temporarily platform. paralyzed. Stage fright struck me in a Arriving at the proper location, I faced quite different way at a high school ora- the audience, which was scattered over a torical contest. Instead of paralyzing my large area, with great stretches of empty vocal cords, it loosened them to an alarm- seats in between. I had no difficulty in ing extent. getting started. The words simply began Up to the time of the contest I had felt to flow from my mouth. In a surpris- no nervousness whatever. An oratorical ingly short time I reached the point contest does not demand the thinking, the where I should have made the eloquent marshalling of facts, or the convincing gestures, without which the peroration of of an obstinate opponent, that a debate Webster's "Reply to Hayne" is flat and calls forth. Neither does it require the lifeless. I disdained to stop for such dramatic interpretation of a declamatory trivialities as gestures. I thundered on, contest. I knew my speech. I knew when gaining speed with every sentence. to take a step forward and when to raise Not until I had walked off the stage my right hand in a spell-binding gesture. did the cold sweat begin to break out. In short, I really had nothing at all to I discovered that I had completed an worr\' about. The importance of the con- eight-minute speech in exactly five min- test can be shown by the fact that it at- utes and forty seconds. I learned that I tracted an audience of twenty-five, three had got off to a flying start, had slowed of whom were the judges. up slightly, and then had gathered speed Not until my name was called did I sprint to feel the slightest twinge of nervousness. once more in a final triumphant Then things began to happen. I looked the tape. Of course the greater part of unintelligible out on the stage. It seemed so glaringly my selection was absolutely bright and unfriendly in comparison with to the audience. the dark obscurity of the wings, that I Stage fright had another victory to its really did not want to go out there at all. credit.

i2i-\ " "

Is It Blood Poison?

C. R. Gairing

Theme 15, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

SLIGHT scratch on my finger had "This is blood poison, isn't it?" This Acaused the infection. Always careless time I was not to be put off. "The infec- of my health, I did not consult a doctor tion has reached the blood. See, the vein when I first noticed the painful swelling is red." of my elbow. As a result of this neglect, "That's nothing. The arm is merely

I lay on the hard, white operating table, swollen after the operation." Neverthe- while white-coated surgeons and nurses less, she bent over to see. A moment busied themselves preparing for the oper- later, the doctor and the intern were also ation. Through the open, screened win- there.

dows of the light, airy room, T could "It's nothing serious ; it is draining hear the birds singing. Sweet spring just well." The doctor's words were far from outside the window was gay and care- satisfying. "Try and sleep." free. All night I watched the red streak

The mask over my face, the smother- creep slowly up to my arm pit. It started ing fumes of ether, a brief moment of down my side. The nurse went quietly hysteria, and the bird songs faded into out of the room, and a moment later I abysmal blackness. could hear her conversing in low tones with the doctor. " An ever-growing pain told me that con- —— serious— in an liour, perhaps .sciousness had come. T lay in bed, my two arm securely encased in hot bandages I strained my ears to hear the low and packed solidly with hot-water bottles. voices outside my door. "How do you feel now?" "Watch— closely—not until the last mo- I bent my head back to see the nurse ment who had addressed me. I could not keep from voicing my fears

"I feel all right," I lied. "Is it blood when the nurse returned. poison?" "Will there be another operation? He "Don't talk now. You'll be all right isn't—He won't— What did he say?" soon." "No, there won't be another operation.

She had evaded the question. Could it Perhaps you might go upstairs again for be that it was not a mere lymph infection an inspection, but that's all." as the doctor had said? If that was all, My mind was far from being at rest. why was an operation necessary? I I vowed that I would try and get away pushed the covers back and looked at my before I would allow the surgeon to per- arm above the bandages. A red stripe form the operation which I feared was covered the blood vein. coming.

"Is it hurting?" The red stripe slowly crept down my The nurse's question startled me. side. M}' arm was now swollen to nearly

[2*] twice its normal size. The streak reached nurses engaged in changing the bandages. my waist. My side swelled until breath- My eyes turned toward the foot of the ing became painful. bed where the doctor was standing, "Take this and try to sleep." smiling.

I drank the contents of the glass and "You are on the road to recovery. waited for the drug to take effect. In an Last night was a bad night, but you'll be hour the pain had diminished, but I did up in a short time now." not sleep. I drank the second glass of I looked at my arm and at my side. the salty liquid and waited. Slowly my The swelling had gone down and the red senses left me. I slept. streak had receded. The nurses finished

I awoke with a sharp, piercing pain in their work and I fell into a voluntary mv arm. I opened my eyes and saw two slumber.

"Patience, Father!"

Mary Jane Kennicott

Theme 18, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

"I afternoon one which located at dizzy of 1 Q Q ANY was was the height J-yJ^y* able to find them running five branches up. When once comfort- down the lane. One was very robust and ably settled on the "seat" (which was extremely chubby, running as a boy merely a branch worn thin by former would run, and "going on seven." The generations of watchful youngsters), the other was a scant two years older, thin, victor would royally demand supplies of awkward, and with two pig-tails swish- spruce gum, fresh every day, from ing behind her as she tried in vain to branches nine and ten. reach the goal before her younger sister. Then the real contest began ! Watch- The goal— ? It still stands, and never ing for Daddy! Why, they simply fails to recall the pain of a skinned knee couldn't miss him in his shiny, black. or a stubbed toe encountered while racing Model T Ford Tudor Sedan! And be- to victory. And victory— ? 'Twas not sides, he always brough them something, only the art of reaching the old pine tree and besides that, there was always the first, but of scrambling to the look-out. evening paper with a whole page of "fun-

[25] !

nies." Oh, this was a watch worth while the advantage here, touching the ground and one should never miss it. Would he with three easy swings ; the chubby one turn in from the right or left today? followed, grunting, suspended, and Yesterday he came around the point and stretching her too short legs barely to fooled them both. Ah, a bet! One said reach the limbs of the tree. But the she thought it would be the fifth car victim was caught in time ! A tired, from the north, while just for the sake of patient smile came through a mud- the bet the other one said she knew it splashed window, and finally the door on would be the seventh car from the south. the right-hand side of the car was opened, One, two, .... one said she could tell and closed again behind two excited Lizzie's motor from way down by Apple- youngsters. yards' lane. . . . three, fou, fi . ., six ! De- The noise of the car made conversa-

feat for one— . They watched intently the tion quite impossible but from the ex- southern exposure. A distant whirr of pressions on the faces of the three pas- wheels and, Yes Sir ! —Daddy sengers one could have imagined Father How to get down before he had passed saying, "Not before supper, girls, — and was another matter. The older child had PLEASE do not scatter the paper."

Broad-Minded

Bert Griesel

Theme 14, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

JOHN wanted to be broad-minded. He haughty when the boss paid him ofif that had seen too many people show a night. No sniveling for him. smallness of soul when they became vic- The blow had been as sudden as it was sharp. Although many had been laid off, tims of circumstances and were about to he had thought himself indispensable. lose their jobs. They would lower them- Without the faintest warning, Mr. Bal- selves in a begging, slavelike manner in four, his boss, had told him to draw his order to get the boss to reconsider their money that evening. While the boss was dismissals. They never succeeded. John talking he had nervously twisted the was always ashamed for after they them stump of a once good cigar in his mouth had gone. He had a chance to show the and had looked at ever}'thing else in the big side of his soul now, he thought ironi- room except John's face. John would cally. He would be very grand and show him up this evening.

[26] With half the force laid off, there were When closing time came, John slowly still six clerks in Balfour's popular men's changed his immaculate working clothes clothing store. John had thought it im- for a more worn suit of his own and possible for Mr. Balfour to run the store waited until every body had left except without this many clerks, at least. Here his boss. He then threw his blond head was the impossible happening to him. He back and, putting on a false air of brava- the of throat glanced around at sound a do, marched quickly up the stairs. Turn- being cleared looked into the melan- and ing his haughty head toward Mr. Bal- choly face of his close friend and fellow four, he asked, in a proud disdainful worker, Bill Hempstead. voice, for his check. Mr. Balfour looked "Too bad. Fellow. I just heard the bad up and reached for an envelope at the news from Sam. Got any plans yet?" same time. "There are plenty of places that will "Too bad I had to let you go, John. be glad to get me. I should feel glad that If you need a reference, see me. Good I got laid off. I can't work for a fellow- night." He immediately bent his head to like Balfour, anj^'ay." his work. John stood aghast. All his well He sauntered carelessly away from his plans fallen through. friend. He hadn't meant what he had made had said, but he must put on a face. There On his way home, he cried slightly and for was nothing to do but wait and lord it cursed himself not asking Mr. Bal- over Balfour this evening. four for another chance.

And, He Has a Name

Richard Staggs

Theme 15, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

FIVE YEARS ago last July, a young person went into the room. It was the couple moved into one of the large man who had carried the child to the apartment houses on the south side of elevator five years before. Chicago. The man—a father, for the Last year a policewoman was sent to young woman carried a babe in her arms make an investigation. She found the —signed a lease for five years, took the strange and beautiful young mother, and infant from the mother, and turned a handsome little five-year-old boy, pale toward the elevator. from his cloistered life, but healthy and From that day until a year ago last happy. The child had never seen a

May, neither the woman nor the child stranger so close ; he had seen no one but set foot outside the apartment. For four his father and mother. The woman was j'ears a certain maid of the apartment- then taken to police headquarters, and, hotel brought three meals each day to after much questioning, revealed this the door, rapped, and went away. No story: one ever saw mother or child. Onlv one She was but a girl of seventeen when

[27] she fell in love. She ran away from families, to dinner parties, and to thea- home when she found that she was to ters. She lived a lonely existence in her become a mother. At the birth of the self-made prison, and her only joy was child, the father was willing to meet all the baby's daily sun bath. obligations except the service that ends The man was then brought to head- with a ring on the third finger of the quarters to be questioned, but the woman woman's left hand. She told of her reso- asked that the police do nothing. This lution never to cross the threshold of the was her problem, and his. After a mo- apartment until she was the legal wife of ment's hesitation, the man got up, took the man who provided all things except her by the arm, led her to the third floor a wedding ring. of the courthouse, and asked for a mar- She told of the days, and weeks, and riage license. months, and years, that had passed since The apartment was empty the next that resolution was made. Her baby, her day, for its occupants were on a wedding books—and, now and then, the man she trip. A five-year-old child is learning loved—comprised her life within those about trains, and street cars, and auto- four walls. From behind the curtained mobiles, and how strangers look close at window, she saw life pass by in a busy hand, for the first time in his life. And,

stream ; hurrying crowds going home to lie has a name.

Roderick and the Cockroach

John H. Schacht

Theme 15, Rhetoric II, 1931-32

THE SUN was streaming in through and was in the midst of a fourth, written the open windows of Roderick's to his Aunt Caroline, who had sent him pleasantly lighted room, bathing the in- an absolutely useless fifty-cent baseball terior in a golden glow, but Roderick glove. Roderick, who had little of the

failed to respond to its beneficent in- h\'pocrite in his nature, stared disgust- fluence. Indeed, Roderick was feeling edly at what he had thus far managed to quite out of sorts. He was slumped in write, between illegible scratches, on the a straight-backed chair in front of his paper. desk, chewing the end of his shining new Aly dear Aunt Caroline: fountain pen and brooding over a pile of I certainly wish to thank you for the fine baseball glove you sent me for my birthday. letters which were to express, in a It is a mitey fine glove, and all the boys wisht

properly grateful manner, his thanks for they had one like it. I also recieved two books,

the many gifts he had been presented two a tie, a football. . . . days before, on his tenth birthday. He Roderick laid down his pen with a had laboriously scrawled three letters, sigh. There were, after the note to Aunt

[28] ! ; !

Caroline, similar epistles to Cousin Clara, change of heart, and poked it back with Aunt Julia, and Uncles Horace and Eu- his pen. Nothing daunted, the cockroach stace, to be written, and the boy could again galloped up the side of the glass, hardly bring himself to go on. Through only to be repulsed more sharply by its the window came shouts and cheers from captor's weapon. Roderick's violent the vacant lot next door, where a ball primitive instincts were rising. game was in progress. Roderick sank The cockroach now seemed to tire, or deeper into gloom. Surely no one had else to become resigned to its fate, and ever been so bored temporarily desisted from its efforts. But

Suddenly his eye caught a movement Roderick would have none of that ; he near the window sill. He sat up in his had always despised the quitter. He tried chair. A large brown insect was mean- once or twice unsuccessfully to arouse dering slowly about the sill and the edge the animal by expectorating into the of the desk. A cockroach! Roderick's glass, but excitement had left his mouth eyes brightened. He knew his mother dry; so he squirted the cockroach liber- would be taken to bed with a sick head- all}' with ink from his pen. The ink ache at this spectacle ; the good woman proved the more effective, but still the had once fainted at the sight of a bed- prisoner seemed not to have completely bug. The cockroach ceased its wander- recovered from its lethargy ; so Roderick ing and stood still, gently waving its long tried the expedient of shaking the glass antennae. It remained almost motionless violently, as one might a bottle of patent for several seconds. The light faded medicine. from Roderick's eyes, and he seemed The shaking aroused the insect to a about to assume his former glassy stare frenzy; it darted wildly up the side of then suddenly he picked up an empty the glass, fell headlong, leaped up, and drinking glass from the table beside his again hurled itself up the battlements. bed, reached out with his fountain pen, Meanwhile Roderick was in ecstasies of and deftly flipped the startled cockroach excitement. He set the glass on the table into the glass. and danced around it. He gloated over A neat piece of work, thought Rod- the helpless cockroach, and sneered and erick. He imagined the insect acknowl- grimaced at it; he was quite drunk with edging in grudging admiration the swift power. He was Suraj-ud-Dowlah, the finesse of the act. Whether it felt any nawab of Bengal, and the insect was the admiration or not, however, seemed be- group of British subjects in the Black side the point ; with antennae waving, it Hole of Calcutta : he w-as Tarzan of the was whirling and pirouetting in its Apes, and the cockroach was a trapped crystalline prison, vainly looking for elephant; he was an African cannibal some means of escape. It soon concluded chieftain, and the cockroach was a mis- that the only avenue of flight was up- sionary boiling in the pot ward, and gallantly essayed the climb At last the insect, driven to despera- to the top of the glass; but it could make tion, made a perfectly tigerish bound little progress on the treacherous surface. nearly to the edge of the glass, and fail-

At first Roderick was sympathetically ing, fell back on its head and lay inert, disposed toward his prisoner, but once apparently lifeless. Roderick stopped his when the six-legged creature had nearly war dance and approached the desk. He scaled the wall, he experienced a sudden shook the glass ; the cockroach did not

[29] stir. After a while Roderick dumped the fortunately encountered the omnipresent insect unceremoniously on the table and ink bottle, which rolled off the desk, and,

it prodded it with his pen ; then he slapped though Roderick should have thought it a few times with a ruler. No response. empty, to judge by the size of the ebony

Roderick began to feel conscience pool on the table, it still managed to spill stricken. ink freely on his mother's valued carpet. All at once the cockroach bounded to This ivould require some explaining, its feet and was away. So! The miser- thought Roderick. able creature had been shamming! If He surveyed the scene with mingled there was one thing Roderick hated, it emotions. He saw the cockroach wiggle let fly the ruler with was duplicity. He its antennae derisively, and could have intent, but his aim was not murderous sworn he saw it thumb its nose at him as he had completed his swing, good. When it disappeared in a crevice between the upset on the table the bottle of ink lay baseboard and the floor. Outgeneralled and the cockroach was disappearing be- by an insect ! Roderick could have died bookweight. hind a of mortification. Then he noticed the watched, paralyzed, as the Roderick prominent smudge on the carpet, and the of ink, formidable as the Johns- wave miniature lake on the table, and he set town flood in his eyes, swept devastat- about cleaning them as best he might. He ingly over the desk to spread havoc felt strangely deflated, and shivered when among his letters. He suddenly leaped he beards his mother's footsteps on the into action, however, as the cockroach re- floor below. appeared at the back of the desk, evi- He reseated himself in the chair, and, dently well pleased at the holocaust. taking a fresh sheet of letter paper, be- Roderick, thinking only of revenge, again gan again: lunged at his enemy, which scuttled to My dear Aunt Caroline: the edge of the table, took to the air, I certainly wish to thank you for the fine under made a perfect landing, and darted baseball glove you sent me for my birth- un- the bureau. The avenger's elbow day. . . .

[30]

T-HECKfEN CALDKON

A Magazine of Freshman Writing

CONTENTS

OUT OF THE PAST 1 Anne Britttn

THE MASTERS OF MAIN STREET .... 3 Beatrice Jane Pierson

A TEMPERAMENTAL FRIEND 4 G. W. James

CARLSBAD CAVERNS S George B. Guthrie

DEATH PASSES 6 Irving Stradcr

FARMING—THAT'S THE LIFEI 7 Clinton Spivey

TWO BOOKS 9 Kirker Smith

HOW TO MAKE FACIAL MASKS .... 10 Tom L. Fenton

COBRA DE CAPELLO 12 William B. Richardson

GRANDMOTHER'S IRON 14 Claribel Lee OUR HOUSEHOLD PETS AND HOW THEY TRAINED US 15 John Waldo

May NEVER TURNED A FEATHER 19 S. J. Ewald

THE LANDLADY 20 1933 George Tawney

I RECEIVE A GIFT 21 Edmund A. Rehwald

Vol.2 MUSKIE 23 Roy S. Pitkin No. 4 WHY THE DEER HAS NO TAIL .... 25 Marjoric Eichelsdocrfer

PUBUSHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILUNOIS, URBANA

Out of the Past Anne Brittin

Themes 14 and 15, Rhetoric 11, 1932-33

1. The World of My Childhood of my Shetland pony to see her delicately

IT^HEN I was a child, I lived in two pointed ears twitch. But the fairest sight »' worlds. One was the world of to which I could lift my eyes was the everyday experiences—of games of tag hilly pastures to the south that rolled and hide-and-go-seek on the hill where and dipped and hid tiny houses in their the children of the neighborhood gath- hollows and flung yellow ribbons of ered in the long summer evenings, of roads against the sk)^ They were very dimly heard conversations around the beautiful when seen from the window

dinner table, of incomprehensible arith- of my haymow !

metic, and boring music scales. I lived On one side of the barn were strag- in that world but unwillingly, and like a gling rows of grapevines flanked by hol-

true anchorite of the desert spurned it lyhocks and sunflowers. During the hot for the world of imagination and of summer days in the cool shadows under fancies. the grapevines, I would lead a band of

The house where I lived with my desperadoes — in fancy, of course — grandparents had once been a farm- through a jungle of grass to the impene-

house. It still retained a yard of an acre trable thicket of the blackberry shrubs. in extent—a charmingly disorderly yard, But never did I realize the full mystery not so formal and prim as those of the of those grapevines until I saw them one

houses nearer the center of town. It night from my bedroom window. They joined on an open field where three apple were a pattern in black, while the rest of trees stood in a row and once a year lit- the world was drowned in moonlight. tered the ground with hard, sour, green Anv-thing might come out of those grape- apples. But best of all, it possessed a vines, perhaps, as I thought, even the large barn, and up in the haymow of that fairies themselves—to dance in a ring barn was my favorite retreat. under the moon.

Oh, the hours that I spent up in that When I remember the fancies of my haymow ! Those drowsy summer after- childhood, at times I think that I lost noons when I did nothing but read, while something very real when I discarded the wind from the south, maybe sweet them. Perhaps, it was inevitably a part with the freshness of summer rain, swept of the natural process of growing up in through the wide-open wooden half- that the world should become prosaic to

door that served as a window ! Now me. But still I should like to regain the and then I would lift my eyes from my ability I once had to feel beauty so in- book to watch the scurrying of a daddy- tensely that the pattern of grape leaves long-legs across the floor. Or I would in the moonlight could be etched on my pick up a little handful of hay to throw memory for as long as I live. And how down through the trap door on the head I should like to feel the motion of my

[1]. 2^^

pony beneath me once again and to hear Then my grandfather would tell of his

the slap of her hoofs in the dust, while boyhood in Wisconsin when it was hardly I ride in the glory of a June morning more than a wilderness.

over those same roads I could see from In those days four-masted sailing ves- the haymow. But the barn with the hay- sels carried the trade of the Great Lakes. mow has vanished to be replaced by a My grandfather had seen them when he garage. Houses now stand where the was a boy, and the memory of them three apple trees once scattered their always remained with him. "A four- apples that always remained green and master," he would say, "is the fairest sour. to trot And my pony has gone thing in the world when you see it stand- wherever ponies do go when they are ing out to harbor." He would say no weary of the roads of this earth. more, for he was never a man to be

2. Sailing Ships articulate about his emotions. After a silence the men would softly agree that It is strange how the faintest, the most the most beautiful thing in the world is transient of odors can block out the a sailing ship with its sails set oh, yes, present with memories of the past. To — and a high-spirited, thoroughbred horse me the smell of cigar smoke or the acrid is a fine thing too. odor of a stable—so disagreeable to most I would lean back in my chair and shut people—are as sweet as the scent of lilacs my eyes to the circle of faces and shut in the rain. Whenever I smell them, my ears to the talk, for a vision once again I am sitting in the office of the had filled the office a vision of a tall four- stable where I spent most of my time — master with its sails strained taut and when I was a child. While outside, the Bashing white in the sun. winter afternoon would be darkening to The sea and the sky were a wind-washed blue. twilight, inside, the cigar smoke would The gulls

wheeled in the sk}'. . . . ship rise like an offering of incense to the pic- The was

the . . tures of long-dead gallant race-horses fairest thing. . that broke records in their time. Maybe "Come, Annie, hadn't we better go the men would discuss the pace of a home?" thoroughbred or a memorable race, but Roused from my dreams, with my invariably, as the smoke thickened and hand clasped in my grandfather's hand, the afternoon light dimmed, the talk I stumbled out of the office into the crisp- would turn to the days of their youth. ness of a winter's afternoon.

[2. The Masters of Main Street Beatrice Jane Pierson

Theme 15, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

T^HE ODDEST people are the most round, red-faced, good-natured German,

* interesting. In our little village the whom I called "Saucer," and who inspired main street was dominated by five people. terror in the hearts of my brother and

They were all friendly and eager to help me. Whenever I had to pass his house any man, woman, or child, but they were on the way to school to meet my brother, possessed by an incurable and insatiable I would get down on my hands and knees

curiosity, which. I am sorr}- to say, often and crawl through the tall grass in the

led them into difficulties. ditch in front of his house. When I The proprietress of the one and only started to school myself, he often picked grocery store was a good-hearted woman up a stick and jokingly chased me through of large dimensions. She always wore a town so that I wouldn't be tardy. dirty cotton dress covered with an even Then there was the banker who ruled

dirtier apron of some coarse white ma- the little red brick bank. I often stopped terial. Because her feet bothered her a in to see him in order that I might peek great deal, she wore felt house slippers into the great vault or play with the in- on every day except Sunday. When a numerable rubber bands on his counter. customer entered the store, she would I liked to press my face against the iron ease herself down upon a creaking bread bars, through which he shoved money box, take out a pad and a pencil, and to his customers. It was great fun to prepare for a chat. She discussed corn, listen to the farmers and the friendly bugs, and horses with the farmers; she banker discussing politics. Sometimes advised the housewives on their affairs the}' would grow angry, and then I would from children to soup— for she also ran slide off my high perch, and slip out the a boarding house ; and, when a child little gate for I didn't like to hear them came in on an errand for his mother, she argue. won his eternal friendship with a stick The other one of these five people and of candy. the most exciting was the station agent.

Across the narrow, dusty road stood He had very little to do, and was always the modest little butcher shop. Since the willing to talk to me. When I was just times were good and business 'booming,' a tiny girl and would go every evening to it demanded the part-time attention of meet my brother, he would always watch two Dutchmen. One was named Tecum- for me and carry me across the tracks. seh. He was a little, thin, dried-up man With my fingers in m\' ears and my heart with a luxurious moustache and a long, in my throat, I many times stood on a thin nose that dripped continuously like bench at the end of the platform and a leaky faucet. His partner was a fat, watched the big, black trains whizz by.

3] ;<-c

The brave station agent would stand out town, not only because he was brave but on the platform and catch the mail bag. because he had travelled to far-distant He was a hero to all the little children in cities.

A Temperamental Friend G. W. James

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

T HAVE a diminutive friend who fre- of animosity, for Charlie has a very * quents the vicinity of my study table formidable appearance. His small fuzzy

and, on occasion, creeps cautiously from body is much darker than the proverbial

some hidden recess in its under surface ace of spades. Certainly no animate thing to investigate, with insatiable curiosity, has achieved a blacker black than the doings of my enlightened world Charlie's. His Satanic color accentuates

above. Not content with viewing me and the ferocious efifect created by his two my actions from the great plain of my beady eyes which peer balefully from the table top, he sometimes makes his way, velvety fuzziness of his square-cut face, in the silent manner of his species, to if his kind can be said to have faces.

the uttermost heights of my study lamp Perhaps I do Charlie an injustice by and there, removed a discreet distance suspecting him of unfriendliness as a

from the heat of its light, of which, I result of his physical makeup, which

think, he does not approve enthusiasti- probably is not of his own choosing. cally, gains the inclusive survey of the Charlie's visits are frequent but not illuminated sphere of my books and regular. One never knows when he will papers below, which he apparently de- drop around. Occasionally, when the later sires. hours of the evening find me in the depths

Out of some momentary caprice I of a mental struggle with the theory of have named my insistent proctor, Charlie. equations or some other curriculum an-

Although I describe him as a friend, I noyance, I feel the presence of another am not, despite his friendly gestures, consciousness and glance up to find my sure that his motives are entirely devoid reticent companion regarding me criti-

4] cally from the lee of an ash tray or from ing the range of his activities. In the a piece of art gum in the remote regions lower sill of my east window he has s^t of my table beyond the circle of light up one of the gossamer establishments from my lamp. There, perched perkily peculiar to his breed, with the hope, per- his eight fragile legs, nocturnal on my chance, of entangling a few sluggish flies visitor maintains an incessant scrutiny of which may be lazing around the house- my every motion, ready, at the slightest hold these winter days. I have asked the imprudence on my part, to dash with landlady not to remove my friend's webs, astounding suddenness to his sanctuary but the peculiar look in her eyes tells me in the darkness below. Sometimes he that my well-meant efforts on Charlie's visits me in the afternoon and then he part have been misconstrued to be sar- is much more brazen, dashing with im- castic comments on her housekeeping pudent boldness across the full length ability, I fear that all spider in of my table, only to stop and stare inso- and webs lently at me from its edge. that window will be rather wrathfully re-

Today I noticed that Charlie is extend- moved in the future.

Carlsbad Caverns

George B. Guthrie

Tlu-ine 2, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

1AM NOT one who is easily impressed The caverns covered an area of about by natural phenomena. Nature itself four miles, but only two miles had been holds no particular fascination for me. I opened to the public. The guide took me view a sunset from a mountain-top and to what he called the "Room of Giants" acknowledge its beauty, but I am rarely which consisted of a large number of moved emotionally by such a scene. But stalagmites and stalactites that were as one spot, one of nature's monstrosities, big around as large redwood trees. The affected me as none other ever has. lighting which was installed caused many Last summer while on a tour through huge shadows to be thrown on the walls the western states, I stopped in the and ceiling, making me feel as if I were southwestern part of New Mexico to go a Lilliputian in a company of giants. through the famous Carlsbad Caverns. Although reluctant to leave, I passed to

I was not particularly thrilled at the pros- the next room, called the "Great Hall." pect of seeing these famous caves. I had I had been thrilled with the "Room of been in other caverns and had found little Giants," but I was fascinated by this in them to admire. But I soon found room. It was as long as four city blocks that here was something different, some- and was three hundred feet from ceiling thing finer and more majestic. to floor. The stalagmites and stalactites

I was taken by elevator seven hundred were of all sizes, their colors varying and fifty feet down to the caverns. A from deep red and blue to the purest guide met me there, and I immediately white. The lighting intensified the colors began my inspection. and made some of the formations look

[5] —! ; ?-<'7

as if they were over-loaded with valuable on me, but even this could not have been gems and metals. I entered a number of the sole cause of their lasting impression. other rooms after this; all of them were If I were more inclined to be religious, interesting, but none of them impressed I should say that it was the feeling of me as much as these. the greatness and nearness of God—the Six hours later I returned to the sur- believing that He was revealing Himself face. I had seen the Carlsbad Caverns in this phenomenon of nature—that af- Man\' times since then, I have wanted fected me so strangely. But whatever the to return to those caverns. For some reason was, I only know that I have an reason, which I am not quite able to ex- intense desire to revisit these caves to plain, they fascinate me. Perhaps it was —

their exceptionally great size tliat thrilled stand once more in their depths, and be

me, but I know it could not have been moved again to feel my own insignifi-

that alone. Their beauty too had its effect cance.

Death Passes

Irving Strader

Theme 16, Rhetoric 1. 1932-33

IT DIPPED crazily out of sight behind the store. I almost reached the door.

•^ some buildings about three miles Open it came, and back I was hurled

away. Then it shot high into the air, against the meat block. I was careful to trailed by a weird twisting snake of wood. keep my hands from the top of the block

I had no idea at the moment what it where the meat was cut. Then the sound was, but turned and ran into the store. and darkness were gone.

I took about three steps and reached the I found myself staring dumbly at a

candy counter. Then it happened ! I cut of round steak — fresh, juicy—rest- thought the world was coming to an end. ing on the scales. Except for the drip,

There was an ungodly shriek ; there was drip of rain from the jagged fragments

a thunderous roar that eclipsed all other of plate glass that still remained in the

sound. It was ear-splitting ; it was terri- show windows, all was deathly quiet. I fying! There was a thin straining whine tiptoed slowly to the front of the store. ;

it rose in pitch ; it shrilled to a high, wild The baker's truck was sprawled incon-

crescendo. There was a mighty crash of gruously on its side across the street- glass. Several boxes of Post Toasties car tracks. There was a long line of buns

or were they Corn Flakes?—were flying and biscuits twisting down the street. I drunkenly through the air. Cigars were was bewildered. All was topsy-turvey

falling on the floor. I must not forget to all was distorted. The house across the

pick them up. Then it became almost street was completely' over-turned. I

pitch dark. I crouched and instinctively wondered vaguely why there was no ran behind the counter to the rear of water flowing from the bath-tub that

[6] 0^ ^ jutted forth so nakedly from the ruins. wondered how they had all missed me.

The houses on the other two corners I left the store and started for home. L seemed to have taken wings and flown picked my waj- around the snake-like from their foundations ; they were squat- roots of a fallen tree ; I stepped high over ting in the middle of the street. A fallen electric wires ; I absently noted a woman's shriek broke the silence with a group of people pulling an inert form nerve-jangHng suddenness. Men were from under a garage roof. I climbed up pouring forth from the factory, a block llie steps— there were four, and the bot- away. Some looked fearful ; some looked tom step was cracked—onto the porch dazed ; one was laughing hysterically. I of our home, which was not damaged. glanced down at the candy counter where Suddenly my knees grew weak, and I I had stood about thirty seconds before. Huge pieces of plate glass were im- sank onto the swing, feeling very ill. The bedded in the side of the counter. I idlv tornado had passed.

Farming — That's the Life ! Clinton Spivey

Theme 6, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

THE GREAT out-doors, the wide- his own boss. There must be a "seed open spaces, the next-to-nature move- time and a harvest time," for the Bible ment—all of these phrases have been used says so. Farming is a bed of roses, where to describe farm life, and, as a matter one can lie in contentment, supping in the of fact, the}' are applicable, but not as sweet fragrance to his heart's delight. most people think of them. Oh, yes, they City dwellers wonder about all this picture farming as one of the lawful oc- noise called farm relief. The farmer

cupations, where man is supposed to have never has to stand in a bread line, and

freedom, unlimited amounts of it, where therefore he is considered better off than he can go to work when he pleases and many people. He has his own butter,

quit when he feels disposed to, for he is his own eggs, and his own meat ; and in

[7: !

fact near!}' everything he puts on his critics ever rode a cultivator all day, or table is a product of his own land. He sat on a plow for eleven hours, or tried has no rent to paj^ ever}' month, and his their hand at husking a load of corn. fuel is ver}' often gathered from some These sedentar}' office men, tending wooded section close by. Why should towards obesity, should not censure these he let matters such as mone}' worry him ? rugged, weather-tanned people who make That is one of the things a farmer doesn't up the backbone of our nation. One does need, for he lives close to nature, a pure, not see a farmer running through a series simple, rustic life. His are carefree days, of setting-up exercises on arising, for be- void of all worry, and at the close of day fore breakfast he has done enough to he can retire to his haven of rest, float work up quite a sufficient appetite. By away on the wings of Morpheus in a night his tired and aching body cries for sleep equal to that of a babe, and be rest ; the farmer has no desire to don a awakened on the morn by the sweet notes dress suit and play bridge half the night. of a near-by meadow lark. Oh, for the And what reward does the farmer get life of a farmer! for all these labors of his? Not much All views are beautiful from a distance, at the present time. The cost of produc- but when we observe them close-up thev ing a crop is so great that he is forced take on an uglier aspect, and so it is with to do without the necessary men and farming. Those who know it at its best equipment. Often he does not get back and at its worst realize that, if it be a the money he put into the crop ; and still bed of roses as pictured by many, the some wonder about farm relief. Also, thorns are thick and long. what assurance has he that he will have a Do they know the hours a farmer puts crop? He must trust to luck, praying in during the greater part of the year? that the elements will be with him. What

He is alwavs up before the sun, and is the farmer wants is a fair price for his always still working ' after it has long commodities—one that will enable him to been down. He often spends thirteen or raise his standard of living to that of fourteen hours in the fields. The eight- the rest of the world about him. He hour day and forty-four hour week mean does not mind the long hours, he does little to him. What would happen if he not dread the hard labor, but he does feel tried to work on a schedule of this sort? the injustice of not getting a square deal. Well, I am afraid his crops would be Farming—that's the life! Return to pretty much neglected. And can he sleep nature and live the easy simple life. Bah until nine o'clock Sunday morning, be- These everybody-else's-job-looks-better- cause it is a day of rest? I should say to-me-than-mine people, who have every not, for the cows must be milked, the luxury man can create, don't know when pigs fed, and the other animals about the the)' are well off. Well, I should like to place cared for. see them try farming; then they would I often wonder if any of these farm appreciate their own advantages in life. !

Two Books KiRKER Smith

Theme 16, Rhetoric I. 1932-33

1. Disraeli 2. Tremendous Trifles Andre Maurois G. K. Chesterton DRILLIANT, yet susceptible to oidi- Long live the common people—hooray •'-' nary mistakes; possessed of great Ma}^ they remain unchanged in their genius and personal ability, yet unable to thoughts, their actions, and their customs accomplish anything single-handed ; in- forever. Such seems to me to be the curring men's hatred, yet retaining their tenor of Chesterton's Tremendous

admiration ; a master of politics, yet an Trifles. author of romances—such is Maurois' Deftly writing in terms a little over the Disraeli, a most unusual character but heads of his intended readers, Chester- still a very possible and entirely human ton combines narration, description, and one. exposition in an unusual and most effec- Maurois neither eulogizes Disraeli's tive way to emphasize the tremendous- achievements nor disparages them. He ness of his trifles— the actual significance allows the biography to progress natur- to mankind of the ordinary incidents of ally, just as Disraeli's life progressed, not simple, everyday life. Amusing little permitting his earl}' youth to reflect the stories, delightfully told, are made the as yet unattained glory of his maturity. basis for angry harangues on the unde-

Disraeli is not pictured as a dynamic, sirability of sociological experiments and self-made individual, but rather as a pli- theories which treat man as a machine able person, molded into greatness by a to be regulated by the amount of avail- variety of environmental conditions and able money instead of as a human being by a personal ability to discrimiate be- to be regulated by his emotions. tween beneficial and detrimental activi- Obviously these essays were written to ties. provide reading matter for rushed com- Through a lucid, sometimes humorous, muters who would have no time to ana- analysis of situations and characters, lyze their rash, sometimes groundless,

Maurois has drawn an excellent biograph- conclusions. Hence they fall into the ical portrait, subordinating the man to category of ordinary newspaper editori- his environment when he was young and als, something to be read, commented on, it was forming him, and the environment and discarded. to the man when he was mature and forming it.

[9; ^

How to Make Facial Masks

Tom L. Fenton

Theme 6, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

T GOT MY inspiration for making commercial possibilities, and started to ^ facial masks while at the Art Institute sell the masks. At present I have a con-

of Chicago, where I studied art for four tract to make masks of all the members semesters, before coming to school here. of a fraternity here on the campus. So, In my cast and still life class I sketched I hope I shall not be assuming too much in charcoal from casts of the works of if I speak with some authority on the famous sculptors. Among these casts process of making a facial mask.

was one that appeared more life-like than Perhaps we should first consider the

the others ; so I asked my instructor effectiveness of the facial mask. Unlike

about it. I was quite surprised when he the photograph, the mask has three di-

told me it was a life mask of one of his mensions. Think how many photographs friends. Seeing my interest, he told me would be necessary to show the different

how he had made it. views to be seen in a mask. Also, the

For several weeks after that I worked mask brings out a more exact and frank

with great enthusiasm on all of the vic- reproduction of the face, which is the

tims that I could persuade to submit to window of character. The mask maker

my orgy in plastering. But. in spite of is, therefore, not dealing with the mak-

my careful efforts, something always ing of a novel toy, but with tlie repro- went wrong: my plaster set too fast, or duction of a person's true character. the victim's eyebrows were pulled out, Unlike the proverbial plumber, we shall

or I would break the positive while I have our materials at hand before we was chipping off the negative. After start working. The main thing, of course,

pulling out si.x pairs of eyebrows, and is dental plaster parts that sets in fifteen two and a half pairs of eyelashes, along minutes. Two or three towels, some with several locks of hair from the tops vaseline or cold cream, an old pot with

of heads, I encountered great difficult}' a capacity of at least a half a gallon, and

in finding victims, even if I paid them some goose quills or soda straws com- well for their services. The result was plete the necessary equipment. Because

that when I did get a victim, I worked the amateur will use from three to four

more carefully, and, naturally, began to pounds of plaster for a negative, it is ad- improve. After a great deal of experi- visable to have five pounds on hand. Be-

ence and experimenting I became rather fore the plaster is mixed, the victim must

proficient in the art. Instead of having be prepared ; at this point a diagram is

to search for victims, I was pleased to in order, to e.xplain just how much of note that people were coming to me of the face can be cast, and how the towels

their own will. I began to realize the should be put on.

[10] fAHrtfi^ir T^'/jr oacs. cmt a-mv ae T^Ken

\ ^^ aeeoNO t«>a/6i.

THIR.13 -row El-

The first towel should be put on just at breathe through the layer of plaster. The the hair line on the forehead in the man- plaster is sloshed on at the top of the

ner in which pirates wore bandanas ; this head, and runs down the face of the sub- is to keep the plaster out of the hair. ject, wJio is sitting erect in a chair. The

The second towel should go over the top beginner may tilt his victim back at a of the head and tie under the chin, as far 45° angle to facilitate the application, but

back toward the throat as possible ; this the features then sag toward the back of forms a barrier for the plaster, and the head and produce an unnatural ap- keeps it out of the ears. The third towel pearance. Although the plaster may run is tied around the neck and also serves ofT the face for the first few minutes, it as a barrier for the plaster. The area of adheres readily as it begins to set, and the face left exposed will be the area weak spots, such as the nose, chin, brow, cast. After the towels are in place, the and cheek bones, may be strengthened. victim is greased with a very thin film The plaster sets in approximately fifteen

of either vaseline or cold cream ; for the minutes, but rather than trust simply to first few attempts I suggest vaseline be- time, it is best to have sample lumps, or cause it has more body, and is "fool- to tap the mask continuously and deter- proof." I wish to emphasize that the mine by the sound how solid it is. When eyebrows and eyelashes must be greased the mask is set the victim bends down heavily to avoid their setting in the with the mask between his hands, and plaster. after he indulges in a series of frowns,

Now that the victim is prepared, the smiles, and other contortions of the face plaster should be mixed. The right mix (beneath the mask), the mask should depends upon experience, but I find it come off quite readily, provided no eye- convenient to sift the plaster into the brows or eyelashes have adhered to the pot in which there is about a pint of plaster. victim water ; when the plaster comes to the top We are through with the now, of the water, a good mix is obtained. It and our success depends entirely on our is very important that all of the lumps ability to cast the positive from the nega- and air-bubbles should be worked out of tive. Before casting, the negative should the mixture to avoid defects in the nega- be set away to dry for a few days, be- tive. Just before the plaster is applied, cause plaster retains much water for a the quills should be inserted into the long time. Then the first step is to line victim's nostrils, in order that he may the inside of the negative impression with a film of soap to form a division, so that with a hammer. Care must be taken to the positive won't fuse with the negative avoid smashing through while hammer- when it is cast. This is accompHshed by ing. lathering the negative with an old shav- If after the negative is removed, the ing brush, using any kind of soap. The mask proper looks shabby, a good sand- bubbles are broken by holding the cast papering will improve it. All bumps can over a gas jet. Now that we have the be shaved off with a knife, and all air division we may pour the positive in holes can be plugged with plaster. The safely. The positive is mixed in the same mask will look dull in spite of all of the way as the negative, but more care must trimming; so it is advisable to varnish be taken to prevent air-bubbles. The dia- or shellac it to make the high lights gram may make the process of casting stand out more. If the plain white finish clearer. The positive is poured into the is not satisfactory, it may be altered with lacquer or enamels. There are several

shades of gold dust obtainable ; any of them may be used in combination with a dark enamel to produce a pleasing effect.

The gold dust is applied by placing a small quantity in a creased piece of

paper, and blowing it on top of wet paint. Different intensities may be obtained in

this way; it is pleasing to have a mask gilded on top of black enamel, which can just be seen through the coat of gold. The pleasure derived from making a mask fully repays one for the time and negative, and, just before it sets, a hair- money invested. The mask is permanent, pin or a piece of wire is placed in the and the character of the subject is pre- back for hanging. Before the negative is served forever. One never tires of see- broken oiif, the cast must again dry for a ing it, and it is a constant reminder to few daj'S. The negative then comes off its maker that once he created something readily, when it is vigorously persuaded with his own hands.

Cobra De Capello

William B. Richardson

Theme 8, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

T OFTEN WONDER about my nar- wholly ignorant of my narrowest escape • rowest escape from death. It is rather —one is often unconscious of imminent hard to judge just how close to death one peril —but I do recall one incident in has been, because there are times when which I was as close to death as I ever he cannot measure the margin by which care to venture. annihilation was escaped. Perhaps I am I was then the guest of two British

[12] ^^

officials who were located at Jakedaw, light from the hut revealed my plight. which is about forty miles into the jungle Through the effect of some optical il- from Sandoway, on the Akyab coast of lusion, he seemed to me a ghastly mon- Burma. Our temporary living quarters ster out of mythology. Actually he was consisted of a long, low, crudely built an immense cobra— I quickly saw his thatch and bamboo hut. It was located markings—but in the dim light he ap- just outside the village, at the edge of peared fabulous. 1 watched him twist the jungle, on a paddy field clearing. In and squirm ; felt him contract and tighten the rear of the hut was the cook house on my body. I tried to rela.x but I could where our native servant cooked some not. I tried to call for help—though I vile tasting messes on three stones, which was beyond assistance—but I could not served as a stove, over a charcoal fire. utter a sound above a hollow hoarse On the third evening of our stay at whisper. The temperature was close to Jakedaw, I was lying on my army cot in a hundred degrees, and yet I was so cold the hut reading a book, by the light of a I shivered. I knew I must do something petrol lantern, while awaiting the return at once. I could feel the head slowly of my friends. The rainy season was working from under my bare foot. With about to set in, and the air was hot and a great effort I reached blindly down and oppressive. After a long battle with a clutched the vile thing. I managed to couple of malaria mosquitoes that had scream, lift my leg and tug at the snake, squeezed through the net around my bed, endeavoring to loosen and hurl the reptile

I got up and went to the door to get a into the air. Before I could untwine it, breath of fresh air. I stood there bare- however, I was bitten. footed, breathing deeply the foul stench I felt as though I had been pricked from the native village. Above the inces- with a red-hot needle. Within a few sant din of the jungle insects and mo- seconds I was so weak that it took all notonous Burmese drums, I heard a tiger my effort to stand. The cook house was scream on a nearby hill, and hoping to the nearest building. I knew I must get hear the answer of its mate, I stepped out there. Somehow I did. I managed to into the night. Owing to the terrific heat enter, get hold of a knife, and cut a deep

I was unluckily naked, except for a towel cross into the wound. I found a piece of wrapped around my waist. I walked wire—God knows where—and with the about fifteen feet and stepped on some- aid of a soup ladle, managed to apply a thing cold and clammy. tourniquet. I remember picking up a Every nerve and muscle in my body live coal from the charcoal bed, in my instantly recoiled; I stood as if nailed to bare hands, and burning the wound till the ground. I could not move an inch. the coal grew cold. As I write, I can

I was paralyzed with fear. I felt some- almost smell the burning flesh. It did thing cold and horrible thrash against my not hurt ; I was beyond feeling. I remem- foot and wrap itself around my leg and ber starting after the potash in the hut, thigh. As the moments passed—moments crawling like the snake itself, for by that seemed hours— I began to realize that time my entire left side was para- that I was standing on a snake—that is, lyzed. Beyond tliat, I do not remember. it slowly dawned on me that since I felt My mind had ceased to function. no sting, my foot must be directly over I awoke three days later fighting off the snake's head. I looked down. The somebod}' who was pouring a bitter liquid

13 down my throat. It was the doctor from knocked the medicine chest onto the floor

Sandoway, forcing me to drink Hquid from the table, and the bottles lay all quinine. I wonder now which was the around me. While one of the men re- worse, the snake bite or the quinine. moved the tourniquet from my leg, which Within ten days, however, I was as well was black from lack of blood, the other as ever. sent a native runner to Sandoway to get I heard an account of the last part of the doctor. Both worked for hours to my "narrowest escape" from one of the restore the circulation that the twisted Britisli officials. My companions had re- wire had held back so long. The doctor turned about three hours after my en- arrived twenty- four hours later, but there counter with the cobra. They found me was nothing to do except to pour a three- naked and unconscious on the floor of the year tropical supply of liquid quinine

hut, grasping a bottle of potash. I had down mv throat in ten days.

Grandmother's Iron Claribel Lee

Theme 10, Rhetoric II. 1932-33

|\yT Y MOTHER bought a new electric is of spiral construction. It draws out of

^ ' * iron a few weeks ago. It is a mod- the way each time pressure on it is re-

ernistic aft'air, of severe lines and shining leased, as a spring does. It is an iron

metal. As it sweeps majestically over the characteristic of an age of great ef-

starched surfaces, its flat sides mirror ficiency. cheerful but distorted reflections of the Before this iron entered the peaceful red geraniums and the colorful kitchen domain of our household, there was an- utensils. The handle is green — a shy, other iron. It was a stolid aft'air—stolid peaceful green that rests the eyes and like the Pilgrim fathers. It was made of matches the smug teakettle and the shining metal, but the sides were fat and

painted walls. At the bade of the iron is bulged back from the tip like the sides of an inconspicuous switch with which one a plump pincushion. The handle was operates the flow of current by simply black, as was the straight, dangling cord moving one finger. The cord of this iron that was always becoming twisted about

14 ! ! '^ y one's arm, or being scorched under the and constructed of cast iron whicli, un- edge of the hot metal. Because it had no protected by nickel as it is, has become hand-switch, one had to walk two feet rusted and discolored. The high-arched to the wall-switch in order to regulate the handle of solid metal is twined about current. It was an iron with a sturdy with carved sprays of roses. Carved rose- grace, an easy elegance, and a cheerful sprays on such a battered, discolored efficiency. But it lacked the freedom of object poise and motion, the freedom of the This product of the late decades of the

1930's. So we were all rather glad when nineteenth century belonged to my grandmother finally consigned it to the limbo mother. She was Arabelle Blackledge in of things to be forgotten and replaced it her maiden days, a beautiful girl with a on the shelf with the green-handled iron. beautiful name. She was an adventurous

I like to watch my mother iron. High- woman with honest, gentle eyes that perched she sits on her green kitchen searched for the level plains and winding stool. The air is warm and sweet with streams of the frontier. Not long before the odors of good things. The red- her marriage to Grandfather, the two of headed geraniums nod and smile in the them went to a small town (the largest pool of sunshine which the window ad- in the region) to select necessities for mits. Their reflections on the shining the home they planned to establish. To- iron are but quivering blotches of red. gether they exclaimed over the iron bed The iron cord hovers expectantly in a in the greasy general store of the tiny, gleaming spiral. Rapidly it elongates like crossroads town. Together they pinched a green serpent uncoiling and about to the "ticking" into which Arabelle would spring upon its prey. A rumpled linen sew her carefully hoarded feathers. And towel is placed on the board. It comes ofif together they selected the iron with —a smooth, folded square of soft white. which she would smooth the clothing.

What a miracle ! How fast Mother's Arabelle hugged it! It was shining then. hands move. What a joy it is to watch How pretty it would look on her stove and ponder on the histories of irons, of How I should have enjoyed seeing her ." "sealing wax, of cabbages, and kings. . . use it. I see her now in imagination, in Five years from now, the green- a blue-and-white calico, her girlish curls handled iron will have become an estab- falling down on her face as she irons lished addition to our household. Per- her husband's coarse shirts. The iron haps it will be wearing out, and Mother becomes cool. She replaces it on the will be searching at the bargain counters stove and stirs the fire. She does not for another. That is the way with irons, grumble about her loss of time. She likes and with other products of this efficient to work for her home. Later I see her age. They come. They go. And they smoothing children's rompers and baby's are replaced by others of greater ef- frilly robes. She sings ! There is no ficiency. wooden protector on the handle ; so she On the back of my grandfather's old- uses a fragment of thick, dark cloth to fashioned wood stove, there stands an protect her hard-working hand. iron which would cause this well-bred, The years fly by. Grandmother is still green-handled iron of Mother's to turn using her iron with the carved handle, up its aristocratic nose. It is a triangular pressing a simple frock of dainty muslin object, much battered by time and toil. for her oldest daughter, who is the belle

flSl >7 ; ;

of the school-district. She irons shirts fifteen years before I was born. I never

for her ganghng sons. . . . Time passes. kiiew her except through Grandfather,

Grandmother and her lover are alone and her clumsy old sadiron. But it is

again, but she is still ironing in the old strange to think that through the divert- way. ing currents of twenty-five years she My grandmother had gone away used the same flatiron.

Our Household Pets and How They Trained Us John Waldo

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1932-33

yT Y FIRST memory of the regime of no, indeed, you may not have him. And J\ '^ * domineering pets in our house- that's the little chicken that got caught ." hold dates back to the time we owned in the trap. . . And so forth and so chickens. At least we will assume that on. Finally mother would decide we once in the far-distant past they had been would have lamb that Sunday. chickens. I knew them not only as su- Thus the fowl grew older and older perannuated but as very dignified and the hens became emancipated, adopting

important fowl. I presume there must the "single standard," and declared that

have been some sacrificial rites in earlier if the roosters didn't lay, they wouldn't

years because of the disparity in numbers either. And they didn't ! But as they all

between the aged hens and their con- continued on strike, my little brother

temporary cocks. There was also a William and I did not have to look for familiar occurrence at home which eggs. Looking for eggs that were never strengthens my belief. This performance laid was the method by which we were began Thursday or Friday by some one trained in the grand old virtues of pati- suggesting in a joyful tone of voice, ence and perseverance. "Let's have chicken for Sunday." To It is possible that our family might this all gave enthusiastic assent. But have added something valuable to the mother would always qualify her consent scientific knowledge of the world, if my by saying, "I want to go with you before mother had not died and if I had not

you take any of those chickens ; I want been sent East to prep school. We might to see that you get the right one." Act have been able to ascertain accurately second,—the whole family adjourned to the maximum age of the domestic fowl. the coop, where the occupants were re- With mother gone and with me not being

viewed in turn. "That biddy? Why, cer- at home, it was decided to give the whole tainly not that one! That's the one that flock away. And so our home for aged froze her toes last winter. You don't and decrepit fowl was broken up. The think you can have her after the way I only other fowl we ever had were two

took care of her, do you? And that is ducks that had been given us for our the rooster that Helen Morse gave me Easter dinner. As soon as I saw them,

[16; I elected myself their protector; con- brother, and a long conversation would sequently "Kate" and "Duplikate" died ensue: "Oh, Simon," Hank would of old age. warble, "come on out ; the moon is fine."

I remember a Siamese kitten that Simon, from within, would wail, "I mother brought me from Chicago. She wished I could, but I can't. She's locked presented him to me as Henry Pierpont, me in!" Followed a duet of yowls, and in honor of her friend, the judge, who finally Hank would depart reluctantly to gave her the pet. lUit Henry, like some enjoy his night life alone. people, could not endure his name. He Later in the cat dynasty of our family was very quiet about it however, and came Sally McGinty. Sally was a cat of made no fuss ; he finally succeeded in parts and easily achieved our complete getting it changed by presenting us with subjugation. She sometimes had trouble a family of five little kittens. Then we with insubordination in the kitchen. We called him Julia, after the Judge's mar- once acquired a new cook, named Fran- ried daughter. Julia was a very selfish ces. One morning mother heard an un- cat ; she had convictions other than a earthly yowl at the service door; she mere choice of names. She became a suf- went to see what could be the matter. fragette. When her second family arrived, .Sally crouched without, peering into the Julia demonstrated her emancipation. kitchen as though demons, at least, were

Her eldest son, Henry II, she trained to inside ; then with eyes like jade, she serve as nurse-maid, leaving her free to turned and scooted for the front door. sleep in the armchair in the Garden Of course mother interviewed the cook. Room, or stalk robins in the gardens as "Never did nothin' to her," Frances she chose. She condescended with a averred. "Now, Frances," mother said, bored and reluctant air to feed her off- "you know Sally always tells the truth." spring, but that duty over, she stepped Again the cook denied knowing any out of the bo.\ and poor Henry II had to reason why the cat should act as she had, take her place until ne.xt mealtime. but in answer to mother's doubtful look Eventually Henry had a younger she admitted, "Well, I never took the brother, Simon Eyes by name, who, at a broom to her but once." But once was tender age, was adopted by a very fine plenty for Sally, and Frances' regime in teacher in our neighborhood. She was a the kitchen was brief. rigid disciplinarian, and as Simon grew Sally was a good mouser. She made toward cat-hood, she came to mother, the rounds of the neighborhood daily, complaining that our Henry was de- going to the doors and asking to be let moralizing her cat. "My Simon," she in. Our friends were always glad to see said, "is a sweet, innocent cat, and I will her and she had the run of the various not have Hank ruin him. He comes every houses, keeping them all free of rats and night after dinner and entices Simon mice. Sally was also a good mother. away from home and leads him into all There is an old saying that "practice sorts of bad company. I want you to makes perfect," and Sally had lots of keep your cat at home !" However, we practice in the fifteen years she lived with were not as good disciplinarians as she, us. As she practiced successively on three and she had to lock poor Simon in the or four groups of kittens a year, and as garage. For a long time Hank, each each group comprized four or five kit- night, would go down to call on his tens, you can, if you are good in arith-

17' ; !

metic, determine just about how much jealous. One little kitten, Cutie-Pie, early practice Sally had at being a mother. But became a household favorite. Before his while Sally was a good parent, she had eyes were open, he knew my voice and, notions. She always liked a quiet, se- wobbling his head in my direction, would questered spot in which to rear her stagger forward on his weak little legs family. Once she chose a thirty-five to greet me. When I would pick him up, dollar Fortnum and Mason hat of moth- he would cuddle down in the palm of my kittens. er's for one litter of The hat hand and sleep just as long as I would had been left upside down in the hat box hold him. As he grew older, he followed with the cover oflf; of course this was me on my wa}' to town, waiting for me mother, but it was hard very careless of in tlie last garden we passed and return- for me to convince her of her negligence. ing home with me. He was very fond of out that the event However, I pointed cream and got what he wanted by stand- furnished her with a perfectly valid ex- ing beside my chair at meals on his hind for buying a new hat and thus the cuse legs and daintily eating the cream from breach was healed. Another notion that a spoon. The attendant glory was more Sally cherished was that we did not know than his mother could endure. Watching how to discriminate in the choice of her from her usual post in the library door, young. In spite of all our desires to the she, one day, rose and came to the side contrary we could not flood the vicinity of the kitten, where she stood up on her with cats; consequently the proverbial hind legs and demanded cream out of a pail of water was in prominence when- spoon. We had a double performance ever a batch of offspring appeared. Sev- just as long as Cutie-Pie lived, but not a eral times in disposing of the excess pro- day longer duct we sacrificed her favorite kitten Continually there were changes in our the result was that we either liand-fed habits and in the customs of our family the remaining kitten or sent it to follow to suit the convenience of our pets. Thus, its fellows to a watery end. But, nevertheless, Sally was a wonder- not unwillingly, we were gradually sub- ful mother. She was unfortunately very jugated by our animals.

(18 Never Turned a Feather

S. J. EWALD

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

"pvH, MISTER WORTZ," she called, used to it. Other mornin', when I was ^J as she reentered the dirty little apeddlin' pork. I went up on a front store, "I forgot. Bob wants some cigar- porch, and I kinda looked in the front ettes. Luckies will do." Mr. Wortz ap- door afore I rang, an' you know wha( peared from the rear of the store bearing I seen? There was the lady of the house a large scuttle of coal. sittin' there talkin' on the phone, and "Such weather as this is!" he ex- just asmoken' away on a cigarette, just claimed. "One day warm, next day cold." like a man ! An' she seen I seen her. Placing the scuttle beside the little black Well." he went on, as though a little stove, he picked up a large lump and proud of his boldness. "I just went ahead tossed it in on the red coals. "Now, what an" rang the bell anyhow, and when she was it you wanted?" he inquired, wiping come to the door, do you know, she never his grimy hands on an equally grimy turned a feather. No, sir, she never even apron. turned a feather, an' she seen I seen her. "A package of Lucky Strikes," she But by the way she kinda held the cigar- said. "I can't ever remember them, not ette down by her side, like this," and he using them myself." demonstrated with his pencil, "I could Pulling a wood box from beneath the tell she didn't feel s' easy inside, — I counter, he rummaged among a jumbled could tell. But I didn't say a thing about assortment of cigarettes to find the de- it. Sold her a half-a-dozen chops, too." sired brand. He was a tall, well-made "Well, I guess I'll have to get out a man, with big, red hands and thick new carton of those," he said to his wrists. His neck was thick and bound customer who by this time was rather tight])' around with a smudg}'. once- impatient, even though she had been in- white collar held together with a small, terested in the story. Reaching up high brass safetv pin where there should have for the new carton, he shook his head in been a necktie. His eyes were round, contemplation of this thing he had seen. pale blue,—simple eyes. A thin film of At last handing her the small green pack- gravish grease covered his face : he had age, he added. "My brother says he'd butchered a hog in the morning and had throw out any woman that come into his been rendering lard in a great, black house an' smoked a cigarette. But I kettle over a wood fire behind the store. don't know,—Yes, that's right, fifteen "Well-sir," he said as he searched for cents." the cigarettes, "I s'pose it's all right fur He looked questioningly after his a woman t'smoke, but I jest can't get hastil\- departing customer.

[19] /y>^ ;

The Landlady George Tawney

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

AT 7E WERE sitting at the large square come less angular, and the wrinkles in ' ' table back in the kitchen. It was the skin at her neck seemed to have dis- a kitchen typical of the boarding house appeared. in the not-to-be-shown-to-visitors section "Yes sir, Jake," she always called me of the large city, its atmosphere of hard Jake, although no one else ever had, work and poverty best made manifest by "I've had a hard life, seen lots of people,

the many cigarette holes in the oil-cloth and haven't a whole lot to show for it

covering on the table. "We" were the I guess, but there's one thing I have got," landlady, whose name no one ever this more strongly, "I've got my self-re-

bothered to remember, Bob, who was my spect. I can tell the truth, and I know roommate, and myself. All was quiet for how to go to church and find peace there. awhile, the three of us being content to That's more than a lot of folks do." finger absently the smooth, cold tins of Here was a woman who could swear beer before us and to lose ourselves in with the best of them, a common charac-

our own reflections. Bob and I were ter, to see her on the street, revealing merely two more music students, even ideals and a moral make-up to us. After

as most of the boarders there, but this reflecting a bit on her words, I realized tired old woman between us,—here was that she did go to church—regularly, and a character. always treated her boarders fairly, even "Go get out three more bottles of to nursing them and handing out free

beer, Bob," she said, breaking the silence meals when the}' were ill.

which had become oppressive. This in "If I only had money," she went on,

itself was unusual ; here we were, for no "I could've done lots of things. I've

good reason at all, being offered free alwa3S wanted to write, but instead it's beer in abundant quantities, beer which work, work, work, and I'm so tired work- usually cost us twenty-five cents a bottle. ing. Looky here." At this she arose, and What had changed the old lady so to- from the inside of a large pan on the night? Why was this hard, independent shelves she took a small notebook, finger- person, usually so dominant in her realm, worn and old.

so silent and meditative, and why, more- "Sometimes I just sorta feel like I over, had she turned so unexpectedly gotta put things down,—you know, just generous? Her chin, usually thrust well things a person thinks about sometimes,

forward, had relaxed ; her mouth, usu- —and that's what I keep that for," nod- ally tight-lipped with a down-at-the-cor- ding towards the pad which by this time ner slant, had become almost smiling Bob was inspecting almost too eagerly.

her hard, almost cruel eyes had softened, "Care if I read a little out loud?" said and had taken on a gentle appearance; Bob. even the sharp nose seemed to have be- "No, go ahead."

[20: — -

He began to read from the first page, the time, but how? What chance have I which contained a bit of poetr}- in two got to make money? What chance have stanzas. I got to do anything except make these fool beds every day and sweep this damn Dear God, I've tried so hard to live floor?" According to the laws you give. But I am wondering, right now. "Well, maybe you're right,'' I said If something isn't wrong somehow. final!}'. I've worked so hard and done so "Sure I'm right, and you're lucky much, you're young, you two. If I could only It seems like now that I'm just such A poor old woman growing old start in again," she mused, "I'd get a That I might have a little gold. education,—do something iinportant,— In the ensuing silence I could hear the get rich too. If I only had time,—just rattle of a streetcar outside. Bob turned a little more time." the pafje. There followed a long passage, She talked no more that night. Bob grammatically abominable of course, and 1, embarrassed, finally withdrew to stated in rather too strong language for our rooin, leaving her brooding over repetition here, but, in general, de-bunk- the worn notebook. ing divorce, society row at the opera, "Gosh, wasn't that great, her showin' and "hv'pocrites who just go to church us that stuflf she's written, and talkin' about once a year, which is Easter, be- like that," I said to Bob later as we were cause they want to show ofif their new preparing for bed. clothes." "Bo\', I'll say it was. I wonder what "Sure, I'd like to have all them she would be like if she'd suddenly get clothes, and automobiles, and fancy all the mone\- she wanted." houses with people to wait on you all "Yeah, I wonder!"

I Receive a Gift

Edmund A. Rehwald

Thoiie 16, (Imttu), Rhetoric U, 1931-32

WAS ABOUT twelve years of age, In addition to the fact that I wanted I and for the last two years of my life a bicycle with all my heart, matters were

I had passionately desired to own a bi- made worse when a friend of mine was cycle. Many of my friends were already presented with a new one. I think that the proud possessors of such a vehicle, I should have bought one without my and still I was denied the pleasure of parent's permission if I had had the owning one, on the grounds that I was necessary funds. But, several years be- too small to ride well, that a bicycle was fore, our church building had been de- too dangerous for little boys, that there stroyed by fire, and when the solicitors were lots of other boys who had to be came to ask a subscription for a new content with walking, and so on ad in- building, I had contributed tny entire finitum. fortune—twenty-five dollars.

121 In the spring when I was twelve, how- days until the next Sunday noon. Still ever, I believe that I wholeheartedly' re- living a very quiet and secluded life, I gretted this gift to the Lord, inasmuch as was in the living room, curled up in a the twenty-five dollars would have pur- large chair with a library book. Suddenly chased a very presentable bicycle. I can there was an argument on the porch. My well remember how I begged, and coaxed, grandfather's voice claimed that it and raved, but for all m}' threats my wouldn't hurt anything, while my moth- only reward was a good old-fashioned er's said that it shouldn't have been done. session with a willow branch. After such Soon grandfather entered the room and treatment, I tried different tactics. In- to my utter consternation handed me a stead of violent demonstrations, I as- check for the amount which my favorite sumed a meek and martyr-like expres- model would cost. Before I could even sion, and even went so far as to abstain adequately thank him, he left, and upon from all worldly pleasures. his departure I experienced such joy Even these actions, however, had no that I burst into tears. efifect on my parents, because, I suppose, It is needless to say that I owned a they knew me too well. My grandfather, bicycle as soon as it could be shipped however, was touclied b\' my pitiful ap- from the factory. And many times after pearance, and one time I heard him argu- I had learned to ride well, I saw grand- ing with my parents that possibly a bi- twinkle cycle would do me more good than harm. father watch me with an amused in his eyes, I believe that got My parents, however, were still con- and he vinced that a bicycle was not the best almost as much joy out of my hap- thing for me. piness as I got out of owning the best Matters went on like this for several bicycle in town.

'221 Muskie

Roy S. Pitkin

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

"O AY, BOSS, this looks like a mighty think we'd better try this spinner first. ^ good day for muskie. When the There's a heavy bottom here, and it will mist is slow to rise, like it is today, we flash just about right." almost always bring home a catch. And The guide handed me the bait, and, right over there, off the end of that point, while I was preparing the pole, set about is a spot where they are sure to bite. making the boat ready. If we were lucky We'd better shut off the motor and bait enough to hook a good-sized muskie, and the line." we were quite determined to do so, a gaff The sharp- featured, bronzed guide was and a net would have to be handy. With pointing with extended arm towards a everything in readiness, my companion small, heavily wooded jut of land push- started the motor, and we glided quietly ing out from the irregular shore line. along. My line was overboard, and the This was our second day of muskie fish- steady pull of the spinner told me that ing, and, as yet, we had experienced little all was well. luck. Two strikes had got away the day After cruising about for a while, with before ; we hoped for better luck today. no success, we decided to try another As we coasted along with silent motor, lure. By this time the sun was just rising, the early morning sounds came to us, and the heavy mist had dispersed to such and we listened. The rising, penetrating an extent that we could now look about mist had hidden from view for a short us and truly appreciate the wild beauty while the magnificent pine forest which of this secluded spot. The world was now seemed to be pressing in on us from presenting a much brighter aspect, now

all sides, with outstretched arms. The that old "Sol" had put in his appearance. dark, deep, sinister, water spreading The deep bluish-green water with its

about us seemed to be waiting. The many mysteries lost much of its sinister

swish of a turtle as it slid into the water, loneliness as life became more in evi-

startled from its resting place, sounded dence. The former death-like dreariness loud to our sensitive ears, until the crash now gave way to full-throated happiness. of a large fish, breaking water not thirty An occasional bird swooped down on the

feet from our boat, demonstrated to us water, to catch an unwary water bug, its how negligible the first sound had been. wings just rippling the surface. Frogs The ever-widening circles, caused by the and crickets croaked and chirped in an disturbance, reached our boat and endless drone. The heavy dark shore

brought us out of our trance. line, with its outstretched arms, seemed

"Beautiful!" I exclaimed, turning to be drawing back again as though it

toward my companion. realized how futile its old desire had

"Yes sir, and it's different every trip," been. Fish broke water all about us, but he replied, reaching for the bait box. "I none were interested in our bait. The

[23: yx:

new lure we were now trying was called longer than usual, and I became wary. a "buck-tail" and of course we had fresh But our friend was only resting for his hopes of a strike. We soon discovered last attempt. The poor fellow's shining that the "buck-tail" was having a pro- body came in sight of the boat before his found effect on the fish. final struggle commenced. And what We were just opposite our selected jut a struggle it was ! It started with a deep of land when the first strike came. It dive, the line screaming from the reel. was just barely noticeable, and at first I Then suddenly, like a flash of light, he to a snag. thought we had caught on And sped under the boat. I was just lucky

it struck ! ! ! The then suddenly Wheeee enough to be ready and got the line the reel as the line streaked out from around to the other side of the boat be- terror-stricken fish strove to tear the barb fore he could saw it in two on the sharp loose. But his efforts were of no avail. keel. Foiled in his little trick he broke was securely hooked. The first time, He forth with fresh fury. He cut through and the only time, that the fish broke the water this way and that, but I gave water is one which I'll never forget. The him little line and kept him close in. For full length of him came into view as he almost five minutes this running fight leaped in a shower of spray. All the kept up. Then suddenly it was over. The pent-up energy of this beautiful creature valiant creature was exhausted and lay seemed to be released in that one mag- limp. Slowly I drew him up to the boat nificent jump. He shook from jaw to tail until he was close enough to be gaffed. A with the reckless fury of one fighting for few flips, and he lay still. All the fight his very life. After that one jump he was gone from this king of the deep settled down to a methodical battle with water. Fully forty-five inches in length, life or death as the stake. he lay on the bottom, panting his last. Every fisherman knows that he must Our battle had lasted nearly one minute keep all the slack line taken up in a battle for each inch of liis length and I felt of this type, but this fish was determined almost ashamed to take him. But my to break all rules. He would fight twenty companion quickly chased any such feet of line from the reel and then rest thougiits from my mind. while I'd take it in again. Then he'd fight will another length out and rest again. Of "Say, Boss, that fellow look course that could not continue for a very mighty fine hanging over the fireplace long time. The fish was bound to lose back home. Aren't you kind of glad out unless he did something drastic. On that the mist rose so slowly this morn- one occasion the slack line lasted a little ing?"

24 — " I

Why the Deer Has No Tail

MarJ OKIE ElCHELSDOERFER

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

YEARS AGO, when the old world powerful hand seized him from behind. was much younger than it is today, "Such' ilin!" It was useless to struggle. and when the deer still had its tail, To yell was even more futile. So great- my g r e a t-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-grandfather grandfather was journeying on foot swallowed his pride and yielded to neces- through what is now the Black Forest sity, ever watching his chance to escape. of Germany. Securely hidden in the One brawny arm across his chest held lining of his coat was his entire fortune, him helpless, while a hand quickly ran- save for a few marks he jingled in his sacked his pockets. As it drew the few pockets. Robbers were too thick for safe marks from his pocket, the grip loosened traveling at any time, and none were ever so slightly, and, with a jerk and a averse to slitting a traveler's throat for twist, very-great-grandfather was away. his money, if he would not give it up Like a flash he darted through the forest, willingly. he didn't know where, the robbers in hot But for once, my great-great-great- pursuit. great-great-great-grandfather forgot his He dashed headlong into a small grassy surroundings and imminent danger as he glade and hesitated a moment, debating slowly followed the narrow path through which way to go. As if by chance, his the forest toward Helldorfer where eye was attracted to a barrel, much my g r e a t-great-great-great-great-great- weather-stained by the elements, that grandmother-to-be so faithfully waited stood upside down beneath a gnarled oak for him. Five long years before, she had tree. Just the thing! It would at least bade him "Gliick auf" as he set out into furnish a few moments' respite. Ach, the unknown world to seek his fortune. how he thanked the company that had

He could see her as she had been that left it there! Quickly he lifted it and last day,—her red provocative lips, her crawled beneath, letting it settle down smiling mischievous eyes under long over his half crouching body. If he curly lashes, her dimpled ros\' cheeks, her forced his head down against his knees flaxen hair in long braids down her back, a bit, he could see through the bunghole her supple form and daint}' feet. Ach, out over the open space into the forest. how his Anneliese could dance and sing His heart pounded and he attempted to so that it set your heart a-pounding. And regain his breath and his equilibrium as now, successful, he was returning to his he watched and waited for the thieves. "Liebchen." Now they could be mar- He had scarcely settled himself before ried. the two burl\- robbers crashed from the "Hor' auf!" A harsh, guttural voice forest into the glade. rasped across his consciousness and a "Dies' Weg!" urged the leader.

[25] "Ja, ja!" echoed the other. two protruding legs now on the ground, They ran heavily past the barrel with- now in the air. out even noticing its presence, so intent Up hill, down hill, over vale and val- were they on the chase. ley, over creeks, over logs, ran the terri- Great-great- great-great-great-great- fied animal, trying to rid itself of that grandfather trembled in spite of himself awful object clinging so tenaciously to

as he thought of his fate if he were its tail. What an object it was ! It looked

caught. For some time he crouched there like a harmless enough barrel, but it had until he was certain the robbers would two feet. Never before had the deer not return. At last he could stretch his seen such a monster. But that "thing" cramped legs. was obstinate, and my many-time-great- Just then a deer stepped into the clear- grandfather, now that he had got himself ing, stood listening a moment, and then into this fix, only twisted the tail tighter began to munch the tender shoots grow- around his hands and foolishly decided ing there. His sleek sides glistened and to be in at the finish, if he wasn't finished

his long, thin tail ceaselessly switched at first. He couldn't see a thing; so he annoying insects. A splendid creature, closed his eyes and prayed. Gott in Him-

truly. Now great-great-great-great-great- mel ! How he was jounced, and jolted, great-grandfather had one fault —an in- and knocked here, there, and every-

satiable curiosity. This time it seemed where ! Bushes scratched his legs as he harmless enough for he wished only to tore past them. Ach, every muscle and see whether the deer would discover him bone in his body ached, but he wouldn't there. So he settled himself to wait. All let go. His curiosity was fully satisfied unaware, the deer slowly moved closer for once. Henceforth he wouldn't be so and closer to the barrel. inquisitive. He'd let well enough alone. A sudden idea germinated in great- He'd mind his own business too. great -great-great-great-great-grandfath- He wondered if he would ever see An-

er's head, and he proceeded to put it to neliese again. Would she miss him very

work. After much silent maneuvering, he much ? finally managed to poke his fist through Gradually the frightened deer began

the unusually large bunghole. Patiently to tire, to gasp for breath, but it forced he awaited his chance. The deer was its weary legs on. One last hope was quite close now, and his active tail fre- oiTered now that the jolting, bouncing, quently swished across the barrel. For and knocking had all failed. At the bot-

an instant, it was motionless before the tom of the wooded hill before him stood hole, and in that instant, with the huge two old oaks grown so closely together grin on his face, great-great-great-great- that their trunks were separated b}- only great-great-grandfather seized the tail a narrow space and their branches were

and pulled it through the hole. In that interlaced. With one last effort, the same instant, his grin disappeared, and winded animal gathered his waning he found himself frantically trying to strength and headed for the trees. On get his footing as the frightened deer the other side was liberation, or—he raced pell-mell through the forest, drag- didn't know. He only knew that he was ging after himself the bumping, bounc- exhausted. Straight between the trees he ing barrel with very-great-grandfather's dashed, leaving a bit of skin behind. The

26 <3* 7';

barrel, caught sideways, stopped with a father uses it as a place-mark in a book jolt. Poor great-great-great-great-great- of Baron Munchausen's tales. great-grandfather! Something had to give. So the deer's long, thin tail parted near its origin. Great-great-great-great Postscript—So far as I know, my great-great-grandfather was left holding father either made up this story himself not the bag, but the tail, and that is wh}', or heard it from his father. This is one to this day, the deer has no tail to speak of the tales he used to tell us when we of. were children. I have never read a story

If you don't believe this tale, that similar to this in its solution, and I have deer's tail has been handed down from never found anyone who has. generation to generation, and today M.E.

[27] 'If

Vol.3 NOVEMBER, 1933 No. 1

CONTENTS

RAGS, OLD IRON, AND BOXES—Alice Hudelson 1 THE REPUBLICAN PARTY OF TO-DAY— Theodore Lee Agnew, Jr 2

"SO WE IMPROVED THE PACKAGE"—Barbara Ruth ... 3 ADVERTISING AT THE PUBLIC'S EXPENSE— Adrian R. Oleck 4

THE ILLINOIS MEMORIAL STADIUM—John R. Edmonds . 5

MODERN DESIGN AT THE FAIR—Robert Pelatowski ... 6 THE PLANTATION SYSTEM OF FARMING— William L. Dunn, Jr 7

THE NEW MOVEMENT IN STAGING—Marguerite Dolch . . 10 THE OLD FRENCH MARKET OF NEW ORLEANS— Irma McMillan 14

MY TREES—Louise Trimble . . . ., 16

THINGS I COULD DO WITHOUT—Grace Liesendahl ... 17

THE ROAD TO MONTEREY—William Ellsberry 17

THE NIGHT WATCH—Regina Lewis 18

THE RISING SUN—Walter Draper 19

POLLY—Roberta Elvis 20

CLUBHOUSE—AND NO CLUBHOUSE—Merle Myers ... 23

A VICTORIAN TWILIGHT—Constance Wilkinson 24

•DEATH IN THE AFTERNOON"—Henry McAdams .... 27

JMj\}h { K PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

— •^ y

Rags, Old Iron, and Boxes

Alice Hudelson

Theme 2, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

WAY BACK WHEN" there just of how hard she has tried to throw them must have been a junk dealer in away. Each one has a story of its own. our family. I am sure that the passion A few bring sadness, some bring amuse- for saving useless knick-knacks can't be ment, but all are dear to her. all hobb}' in my case ; there must be some That sort of junk gathering seems to ancestral urge. I know that both Mother me at least worth while ; not like mine, and Dad have a faculty for picking up which is an unholy passion for boxes. odds and ends and salting them away. I can find a warm spot in my heart for Perhaps the "urge" dates even farther any kind—little ones, big ones, colored back than my parents, but I am most fa- ones, or plain ones. For me a present miliar with their "rags and old iron." never is a present unless it comes in a Dad has always been quite a collector box. Just any kind of box is satisfactory, of "bargains" (anything he can afford is even a brown pasteboard one. I am es- a bargain to him) and most of his pur- pecially fond of those tiny little jewelry chases are tools, principally hammers, boxes, the glossy white kind that are so pliers, and saws. He has bought at least rich and exciting looking. And how I one of each for every member of the love to get Christmas presents with all family down to second cousins twice re- the rustle of bright tissue paper and moved. They aren't nearly as beautiful lovely ribbons, and then a beloved box. as the armor in the Harding Museum in I guess it must be the thought that some- Chicago, but the}' are much more practi- thing precious has been housed in the cal and much more valuable to Dad. He box that makes me want to keep it. can't be made to part with them. I re- Even harboring boxes wouldn't be so

member that once I lost a pet hammer of bad if I didn't think it my duty to fill

his and replaced it with one almost iden- them up. I have heaps and heaps of tical, hoping the substitution wouldn't be yes, junk, that I have even forgotten the

noticed. The next evening at supper Dad reason for saving; it is all neatly placed said, "Somehow the feel of my hammer in boxes and tucked away. Sometime I isn't the same." What connoisseur could shall become impersonal and weed out have been more discerning? such excess baggage. But until that time

Mother, on the other hand, treasures comes, I shall still have boxes. Mother the things that are rich with memories. and Dad have not yet outgrown their in-

Baby clothes, dress-up dresses, dolls, bits stinct for "collecting." I wonder if our

of jewelry, or locks of hair find their family is destined forever to be gatherers way back into a drawer or box, regardless of rags, old iron, and boxes?

[1] The Republican Party To-day

Theodore Lee Agnew, Jr.

Impromptu Theme, Proficiency Examination, Rhetoric I, September, 1933 npHE REPUBLICAN PARTY is at When the boss himself, Blaine, was * the crossroads. Will control re- nominated in 1884, the young party men, main in the hands of the Old Guard, or led by Theodore Roosevelt, revolted and will a new organization of the younger helped elect the wise, liberal Democrat, men of the party grab the reins and save Grover Cleveland. After one term, the the remnants from total annihilation? Republican bosses returned to power but The Republican Party was formed in lost again in 1892. Depression and 1854 in Wisconsin and Michigan out of Mark Hanna elected William McKinley the remnants of the Anti-Slavery group in 1896, although William Jennings of the Whigs, plus the Free-Soilers. Its Bryan and his free silver doctrine almost cardinal principle was the abolition of turned the tide. Theodore Roosevelt, slavery. In its second national .election, shelved to the vice-presidency, assumed

1860, its candidate, Abraham Lincoln, the presidenc}' in 1901 and gave the was elected because of a split in the country a vigorous administration. Re- ranks of the Democrats. A total of fusing a third term (although it would eleven Southern states, fearful of Lin- have been only a second elected one) he coln's attitude towards slavery, seceded secured the election of Taft, whose con- from the Union. Civil war followed, servative tendencies alienated the Pro- ending shortly after Lincoln's second in- gressives. The party split in 1912, with auguration. When he was assassinated, Roosevelt at the head of the Progres- soon after, Andrew Johnson took the sives. Woodrow Wilson, liberal Demo- office of president. Johnson, an anti- crat, was elected over the divided Repub- slavery Democrat, tried to carry out licans, winning also in 1916. Dissatisfac- Lincoln's liberal policy toward the re- tion in the country at large with the construction of the conquered South. Wilson-backed Versailles Treaty, ending Opposed at every turn by the Old Guard the World W^ar, resulted in the election of the Republicans, he grew angry, fight- of a Republican in 1920. The death of ing back at Congress, which put through T. Roosevelt the jear before left the Old a harsh reconstruction and delaj'ed the Guard in charge ; Warren Harding was progress of the South for fift}- 3-ears. selected. He was a puppet, and the Old The Old Guard, after almost removing Guard ran the countrj'. Harding's sud- him from office, elected Grant, who, den death in 1923 elevated Calvin Cool- though friendly and honest personally, idge to the presidency. Scandals con- allowed the party bosses to run the gov- nected with the Harding regime came ernment. The ensuing scandals almost out, causing the breaking of several of elected a Democrat in 1876. but juggling the Old Guard. Coolidge gave the coun- of returns in carpetbag states turned the try a prosperous administration, but re- tide. The bosses refused to renominate fused to run in 1928. Herbert Hoover, men who acted in the public interest. not exactly welcomed by the bosses, was

[2] nominated, and because the year was leadership? Certainly the people would prosperous, he was elected. Depression never again support him, and anyway he came the next year. Hoover's inabihty would be sixty-two years old in 1936; to cope with the situation caused general the people want a younger man. unrest the country over. However, the Or will the young men of the part)' Democratic Congress would not cooper- (meaning the Liberals) capture the or- ate with him. The farmers, dissatisfied gani/;ation at the next convention? There with low prices and the anti- farmer will be no available material for candi- policy of the administration, flocked to dates, because Democrats now sit in the the Democratic banner along with Senate and in governors' chairs. industrial workers, and elected the Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler, in a Democrat, Franklin D. Roosevelt. The speech just after the recent election, said Republicans were crushingly defeated. that unless the young men captured the The Old Guard (Senators Watson, party organization and presented a lib- Smoot and Fess) were all defeated. eral candidate with liberal views, the Now comes the question: will the Old party would die much as the Whigs did guard still dictate the policies of the after 1852. It is my opinion that the party? If they do, it will mean a long people of the nation as a whole agree Democratic administration, because the with him. Certainly President Roosevelt, people, captured by the magnetic liberal- with the people behind him, could never ism of the President, will never sanction be defeated by the Old Guard. another Harding. Therefore, let youth be served, and the

Will Hoover still retain his nominal Republican Party will be saved.

"So We Improved the Package" Barbara Ruth

Theme 1, Rhetoric 11, 1933-34

yESTERDAY I ordered a bottle of away. I really ought to convert it into a

* olive oil. What the grocer sent me lamp or a vase. And yet I shall, no was undoubtedly a bottle of olive oil, but doubt, buy more olive oil in time and unless one were to examine it closely, so accumulate dozens of such bottles, one would take it for a \ery large bottle and I can't have my house overrun with of French perfume, or a bottle of rare olive oil bottles. old liquor, or a fine example of Early The advertiser who said, "We couldn't American glassware. improve the product, so we improved the

It was not very long ago that you package," certainly started something. bought olive oil in a tin can. You bought Pantry shelves, once filled with homely olive oil, and olive oil was what you got. and utilitarian boxes and cans, now look You did not require a container that was like Christmas display windows. Crack- a work of art. But this bottle was so ers come in boxes designed to express beautifully shaped, so handsomely made, their individual personality. Olives, and so feelingly designed, that I know I though they may last only an hour, come

won't be able to force myself to throw it in lasting bottles reminiscent of the

[3] ) c/

beauty of old Spain. Vinegar bottles their groceries deduce from the facts, appear as rivals to the "Giftie Shoppee" my dear Watson, that my family is very vase. fond of candied ginger and that we also

I find that I am hoarding these bottles like English marmalade. and boxes, along with fancy wrapping All of these artistic aids to modern paper, jars, tins, and even string. I trade are worth an exhibition. Aside cannot persuade myself to part with from the commercial value as nickel- them. When I have a house of my own, catchers, many of these containers really

it will be decorated in what promises to have solid merit. I, for one, would en- be a new period—Modern Grocery and joy attending a salon showing all the Department Store. newest in soap wrappers, hat boxes, At the present, my carefully displayed mayonnaise jars, cold cream jars, tea ornaments attract the attention of those boxes, cookie tins, powder boxes, candy who like pretties. But those who know bags, and florist boxes. Wouldn't you?

Advertising at the Public's Expense

Adrian R. Oleck

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

T 7ERY FEW PEOPLE realize what a twenty- four cents goes The answer is ^ large amount of money our manu- three cents profit for the druggist, two facturers spend on advertising, and fewer cents profit for the wholesaler, two cents profit for the manufacturer, and seven- realize that all this advertising is done teen cents for advertising. From these at the expense of the public. Of course, figures we see that almost three-quarters the people do know that the purchase of the purchase price is spent for adver- price of an article includes the propor- tising. tional amount of money spent on that Another example is the Conneaut article for advertising, but the great dif- Fountain Pen. A few years ago the ference between the cost of manufacture Conneaut Company turned down the and the purchase price is something they offer of a certain rubber company to

know little about. For example, take supply all the rubber parts of a pen for Blisterub, that magic liquid which is now thirty-five cents. Nevertheless, figuring used to prevent halitosis, clean the teeth, that the rubber parts do cost thirty-five protect the gums, get rid of dandruff, cents, the cost of manufacture comes to grow hair, and within the next few one dollar and a half, because all the months will probably be found to be gold-plated metal work costs about a able to remove corns and cure Bright's dollar and fifteen cents. This pen sells disease. A small four-ounce bottle costs for seven dollars and fifty cents, and of us twenty-five cents, and the cost of this amount, about three dollars goes

manufacture, bottle and all, is about one for advertising. And so, from these two cent. A dentist I know once told me illustrations, we can easily see why the that he could make a bathtub full of advertising business is a profitable one,

Blisterub for fifteen cents. Naturally, and that it profits at the expense of the

the question in order is where the other public.

[4] The Illinois Memorial Stadium John R. Edmonds

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

FOR ME the Illinois Memorial Sta- to carry in the building materials. Of dium carries many memories and as- this actual building I saw very little.

sociations which most students do not Since then I have casually observed the have. I have known the Stadium since erection of a tier of seats at the south

its construction was begun. Since then I end of the field and an electric score-

have climbed over its seats and in its board at the north end of the Stadium.

ramps, exploring it, and I have sat on I was very fortunate in being able to its hard seats through colorful football see the Dedication—Homecoming game. games. Although the ceremonies before the I have a rather clear memory of the game remain as a jumbled memory of

official opening of the construction work. speeches and prolonged yelling, the first One bright, clear day in the early 1920's part of the game stands out quite clearly my mother took me to see the first in my mind. Michigan kicked off to shovel of dirt turned over. At that time Illinois; a little-known half-back on the

the place where the Stadium is now Illinois team caught the ball and re-

located was an open field covered with turned it for a touchdown. The way grass. When we arrived, a large crowd "Red" Grange twisted and dodged had gathered to hear the speeches and through the Michigan team, and the way see the ceremonies. Of all this I remem- Grange's interference functioned, held ber only watching President Kinley dig the crowd breathless. Grange made three a spade into the earth, turn over some more touchdowns in rapid succession

ground, and throw some of it into a and started himself and "77" on the near-by wagon. As I recall, this cere- road to football fame. mony took place on the northeast por- Since that first game I have been tion of the ground which was going to around the Stadium frequently. It is be excavated for the Stadium. an interesting building to show to people When the Stadium was being built, who never visited Champaign or Urbana I was unable to watch much of the con- before. The view from the top of the

struction work. I suppose I was too balcony is an unusual one for this flat

small a boy to be turned loose around country. One summer we considered it a place like that. I recall seeing the great sport to ride our bicycles down

building once when it was only a mass the ramps in the end towers. The fun

of orange-colored steel framework. Later of it all was not to attain speed coming

I saw it with part of the brick and down, but to get our brakes so hot the

cement work completed. During all of grease would melt and run out onto the this construction work a switch from the hub of the wheel. A sign which made Illinois Central ran across what is now this more interesting was the one which the drill field to the unfinished Stadium read, "Visitors welcome—boys keep

[5] y -^

out." A few years later I went to the of steel and masonry bordering the play- Stadium on the afternoons when games ing field, the long sloping ramps, and the were played to secure an extra ticket long rows of columns placed there as from some kind-hearted person who was memorials to the Illinois men who were not using all of his tickets. It seemed killed in the World War make the Sta- that some people had more tickets than dium a unique and interesting building. they needed. For the next few years I At night the lighted columns cause it will go to the Stadium as a loyal Illini to stand out as a kind of landmark. supporting the team. The Memorial Stadium is a building Although I have known the Stadium I like so much that it never grows for quite a while, its architecture con- which tinues to impress me. The massive piles commonplace to me.

Modern Design at the Fair Robert Pelatowski

Theme 2, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

npHE AMERICAN BUILDER has good, the true, and the beautiful in mod- * perfected a truly great style of archi- ern, as well as in ancient, architecture. tecture. Many noble modern master- They put aside true functional construc- pieces of stone pronounce upon him the tion and drew from their weird fancies

exalted title of "Architect." And yet, a fantastic and deceptive method. They the "progress" exhibited by the builders delighted in supporting a seemingly of the World's Fair would seem to im- heavy pile of tin upon apparently in- ply that no style of architecture had adequate or no visible means of support. been achieved in America prior to June, They considered utility as a secondary

1933, and that all our building has been factor ; as something which might be done by incompetents. good to have, but not necessary enough This brazen affront to our great archi- to strive for. They considered natural

tects is displayed most shamefully in the form as absolutely passe ; and they con-

attempts of the World's Fair builders in sidered good form not at all. Yet their

modern design ; for in attempting to fantastic structures are set up as t\'pical

gain modern feeling, as they call it, they of modern architecture in America—as were forced to lay aside most of the tributes and monuments to the sublime

[6] •^ ?

memory of Goodhue and Pope! Such terrific yellows, the crude greens, and a supposition is nonsense, as much non- the blacks, all of which are lavished at sense as it would be to compare an in- random upon every and any part of the sane modern poet with Arnold, or a jazz buildings. composer with Beethoven. Of the other gaudy defects of tlie Fair The color scheme of the Fair buildings buildings I shall not speak ; they speak is as much an insult to American cul- loud enough for themselves. I merely ture as it is to American art. To be sure, say that I am thankful that Goodhue now and then a bright orange or a red and most of the other originators of the mercifully lessens the effect of a fright- /n(/\' modern style of architecture are ful bit of sculpture ; and, here and there, an azure blue splurge allows an unsightly not living to-day, and that they are tower to slink discreetly away into the therefore safe from knowing how mon- sky. But, even so, these lucky accidents strous is the perversion of their great are not enough to compensate for the work.

The Plantation System of Farming

William L. Dunn, Jr.

Theme 6, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

'pHROUGHOUT EUROPE to-day castle was besieged or when he, himself, ^ the ruins of the old castles stand as was the aggressor, and, possibly, even constant reminders of the time when paid him money. It seems that the poor feudal lords ruled the land. High up on worker had little time to provide for a mountain stood the great castle of the himself and his family, for one serf ex- lord, and, clustered at the foot, were the claimed that three days had to be spent rude huts of the villagers, serfs of these in tilling the master's land and three landowners. In return for the protection days in hunting and fishing for him, and which he gave them and for the use of that the other day belonged to the Lord. the land, they provided for him and his All this service for his master ob- household, served in his army when his tained for him little freedom. Except

[7] with the special permission of his lord, their own. Periodically clothes were the serf was not allowed to leave his issued to them, and food was provided land and place himself under another from the plantation storehouse. landowner, but was required to till the The slaves were the property of the same ground his father, his grandfather, master, and it was only through sale or and his great-grandfather had tilled. trade between the owners that they were There was no opportunity for him to transferred from one plantation to better his position, for he was born a another. Often they were taken to a serf, and he had to remain a serf. nearby town and sold at public auction Since travel at that time was neither much as farm animals are sold today. easy nor safe, it was necessary that each Then they were carried away to new estate be self-supporting. Every village homes, new surroundings, and new as- had its smith who made the tools, its sociates to work for other masters. miller who ground the grain for the The sale of the slaves and, of more lord and the laborers, and its priest who importance, the sale of the crops were was responsible for the religious ser- connecting links between the plantation vices in the castle and, we may suppose, and the outside world. The estate was, in the village as well. Contacts with the however, a complete community in it- outside world were few, and, except for self. The cotton which furnished cloth- such articles as spices and sugar, all ing for the master's family and his products necessary for food and cloth- slaves was grown, ginned, spun, and ing were grown on the estate. woven into cloth on the farm. Those This system has long since been dis- food crops to which the climate was carded in Europe, but the idea did not suited were cultivated, harvested, and die with the subjugation of the lords prepared for use at home. Lumber was and the overthrow of feudalism. Even sawed or hewn by the slaves, and bricks in our own country it took root, and, were made from nearby clay deposits when the Dutch brought twenty African if there were such on the plantation. natives to America and sold them to the The farm equipment was repaired by settlers, we find the beginning of an the plantation smith. elaborate plantation system of farming Such a community as this bore a with many of the characteristics of the striking resemblance to the old feudal

feudal estates. estate in spite of the fact that it existed Probably the slave was in no worse in a more enlightened age and in a new, position than the serf, for he was at democratic country. Now, both institu- least assured something to eat and some- tions have vanished, but the plan in a thing to wear, and he was not required modified form still exists to-day in the to fight for his master in battle. Like plantation system in use in the South. the serf, however, he did not hold land, LTnder this arrangement, the laborers, although some of the slaves were allow- known as tenants or "share-croppers," ed to have money and a few personal work for themselves, renting land, equip- belongings. One old negress tells that ment, and a house from the landlord, the master who owned her mother allow- and giving half the crop in exchange. ed his slaves to cut wood and take it to The workers are not bound to the land, a nearby river to sell to passing steamers and may move at will, except when that they might earn a little money of under contract. Written contracts with

[8] tenants are, however, seldom made, since ever, one particular disadvantage that is when a tenant has moved into the cabin worthy of notice. Some farm owners assigned to him and has begun work in and operators are not honest in their preparation for a crop, he is regarded dealings with their tenants. They re- as under contract. If the worker should quire more than is their due, and, con- move without permission, such a consequently, profit at the expense of the tract is not enforced, for he must, of laborer, who is not in a position to force necessity, leave the crop which he has his landlord to deal honestly with him. begun, and this can either be cultivated The advantages of this system do, by the owner, himself, or be given to however, outweigh its disadvantages, and another tenant. it seems that this scheme is one of the

Since the South is especially adapted best solutions to the problem of pro- to the cultivation of cotton, this is the viding for the colored people of the main crop grown on the plantations. South. When a tenant rents land for Only small portions are reserved for hay, a year, the landlord agrees to lend him corn, and food products ; hence, until enough money during the months of recently corn meal was bought already March, April, May, June, and July to ground, and peas, beans, and meat were provide a living for him and his family. purchased ready for use. The price of In August and September, the laborer cotton was such that either the income can usually work by the day and earn of the laborer was sufficient to supply enough to live upon, or, if he cannot, he his needs, and he did not feel the neces- will be loaned additional money by his sity of saving what he could, or it would landlord. By October, usually, some of be more economical to plant cotton the crop has been sold, and the tenant where the food products would be grown has money of his own. After his debts and buy his food, than to produce it are paid, the remainder of the money himself. Since the drop in the price of should provide a living for him and his cotton, however, many have begun to family until the next March. If it does grow more of their own food, and to not, he may be able to work by the day provide for themselves at home. again, or he may, possibly, persuade his

With all these other modifications in landlord to lend him some money before the original system, there has also been the next March. Under this plan he is a great reduction in the size of the assured a means of support, for a por- farms. Few plantations of to-day are tion of the responsibility of providing as large as the pre-war estates; conse- for him is shifted to the farm owner. quently, there are now only a small num- In addition to being assured a means ber of farm owners who employ their of livelihood, the tenant uses his land- own smiths, carpenters, and mechanics. lord's equipment, which is ordinarily Thus depending on the outside world for much better than he could provide for food, clothing, and equipment, the mod- himself. Then too, he has the advantage ern plantation has become an intricate of obtaining the advice of the farm part of the economic structure of our owner as to how the crops should be country almost as truly as the factory. cultivated and the land cared for. Most

Is it true, then, that this system is of the owners are far ahead of the advantageous to the worker, himself? laborers in agricultural knowledge.

He indeed benefits by it. There is, how- The last of the important advantages

[9] ; y •^

of this system to the worker is the shift- though the plantation system existed in

ing of the responsibihty of the sale of various forms for centuries, it has now the crop from him to the farm owner. developed into a more logical system This may seem insignificant, but in view with consideration for the laborer rather of the general lack of business ability than for the owner alone. All through

among the colored people, it becomes a the South, the little houses of the tenants matter of major consideration. The and the plantation homes of the owners

laborer is protected from the shrewd dot the farms. They are the hovels of buyer who might take advantage of him, the villagers and the castles of the lords but who, more probably, could not cheat they are the cabins of the slaves and the business-like farm owner. the mansions of the Southern aristocrats With conditions among the farm —all adapted to a more enlightened and laborers as the}' are to-day, we see that, humanitarian age.

The New Movement in Staging Marguerite Dolch

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1932-33 AN EXPENSIVE and elaborate stage fectly aware that the chariots were production of Ben Hur toured the standing still, and that even though the country some time ago. The crisis of riders were wildly gesticulating and the

the story is a chariot race in which the scenery behind them was moving, the hero, Ben Hur, wrecks the chariot of whole thing was staged. the villain, Massela, and cripples him It was an example of the inadequacy

for life. This episode worked out in the of realistic or naturalistic staging, which,

movies very effectively, but on the stage though it is called the old type of stag-

it was positively ridiculous. The stage- ing, is still used to-day. It grew out of craftsmen could not show six chariots the realistic movement in play writing,

racing on the stage with the whole am- which strove to portray life as it really

phitheatre cheering them on ; so they is. The purpose of realistic staging as placed two chariots on the stage with a consequence was to imitate as per- real horses and a revolving panorama fectly as possible scenes from life. If behind them. The audience was per- a garden was the setting of a play, stage

[10] craftsmen laboriously painted flowers, settings unobtrusive. In fact almost all

foliage, and trees. Of course it did not of the characteristics of realistic scenery look like a real garden. How could it? should be avoided because they attract It was only a pretty painting of a attention away from the actors. Door- garden. Stage craftsmen even tried to ways should not reveal other furnished paint marble columns and ocean waves. rooms, and windows should not open on If the huge-columned porch of a detailed street scenes or landscapes. The Southern plantation manor were re- eccentric and extremely odd scenery that quired, the old time stage craftsmen took has been made possible by the mechani- their tools and with a great deal of efifort cal advance in the theatre is even more constructed the whole thing. They would obtrusive and distracting than realistic even surround it with their best imita- scenery. Simplicity in staging is a very tion of willow trees and magnolia. This important method of making a setting type of scenery was very expensive to the background of a play, although it make, and very cumbersome to handle must not be so simple that it attracts in changing scenes. It was often a failure attention to its bareness. Wall spaces because there are many settings, such as should be in unbroken masses as far as mountain sides, forests, churches, and possible so that the actors stand out palaces, that can not be copied success- clearly. Every unessential piece of furni- fully for the stage; yet they have all ture should be discarded. Also, if there been tried with much labor and expense. is simplicity of line and mass in scenery,

Is realistic staging worth the trouble? it will produce one dominant effect.

The test for it and all staging is: Does it Overdone detail weakens the effect of a aid or hinder the play and the acting? setting as can be seen in the settings of Advocates of the new movement in David Belasco. One of his scenes, a staging say that realistic staging hinders. Child's restaurant, was such an exact re-

They have a new principle for staging, production of the real thing that it at- altogether different from that of realistic tracted more attention than the play. or naturalistic staging. Max Rinehardt Harmony as well as simplicity in set- expresses this principle very well: "The tings is not necessarily found in realistic play is the thing—and the setting is staging such as David Belasco's, for merely a background or frame." Advo- harmony is attained by perfect taste in cates of the new movement believe that the arrangement and proportion of the scenery and lighting should not distract scenery. Perfect taste in a setting will from the play but should further the satisfy the audience perhaps uncon- effect that the playwright intended and sciously and will make the setting un- concentrate attention on the action. obtrusive just as simplicity and sugges-

Therefore, staging should have these tion will make it unobtrusive. These

four qualities: unobtrusiveness, simpli- qualities all work together to make a city, harmony, and suggestion. Each setting a good background for a play.

quality plays its part in making the set- Suggestion is the most subtle of these

ting of a play a background to the act- qualities and the hardest to attain. It is ing and an aid to the emotional appeal the most interesting aspect of the new that every good play has. movement in staging. Advocates of this Elaborately painted scenes and a mul- movement believe that staging should titude of details certainly do not make suggest the mood or underlying spirit of

[11] the play. As soon as the curtain rises, hardly visible are just as bad as too the scenery ought to make the audience brilliant lighting. sense whether the play is a tragedy or Let us see how the new stage crafts- a comedy; "a severe lesson in life or an man uses the principles of good staging intimate picture of domestic happiness." in lighting effects and scenery. He would

If a setting is on a large scale, it sug- suggest a cathedral exterior by a single gests tragedy, while one on a "cottage heavy pillar, a huge pointed arch, and a scale" suggests intimacy. Long, straight, standard holding a number of candles. and upright lines in a setting suggest The background would be nothing but majesty or even severity, while accentua- mysterious and obscure darkness. The ted horizontal lines carry a feeling of figures would be grouped around the restfulness. pillar with light concentrated on them. Lighting has come to play a very im- The only other light on the stage would portant part in suggestive staging, be- be from the flickering candles. This cause colors suggest atmosphere. In simple treatment of the scene would sug- The Enchanted Cottage, recently pro- gest the majesty and solemnity of a duced, colors were also used to symbol- cathedral. The average stage craftsman ize emotions and ideas, warm amber for would try to paint the whole faqade of friendship, lavender for affection, and a cathedral and perhaps show a street deep blue for eternal truth. When the leading away with perspective in the play opened, a spirit of unrest was sug- background. The effect would be very gested by a diffusion of red and green poor, for a cathedral as well as a moun- that produced a sickly color. In the tain side is impossible to reproduce dream scene, blue moonlight was used naturalistically. A throne room, palace for the fairies, green for the brownies, chamber, or banquet room (all very hard and red for the witches. At the end of to reproduce realistically with gild and the play, one was made aware of the marble) need only have a background spirit of calm and acquiescence in the of heavy hangings and a pillar on each two lovers as they sat together, lighted side against which the figures and a few only by the glow from the fire-place. pieces of furniture will stand out clearly. The same qualities of good staging, un- There need be no attempt at historical obtrusiveness, harmony, simplicity, and accuracy, but just a selection of the de- suggestion, that apply to scenery are tails that most suggest wealth and very important in lighting, especially the grandeur. quality of unobtrusiveness. Lighting In the same way can scenes be sug- effects that are good assist the play, and gested in Shakespearean plays. There that means they should not attract at- really should be no question as to which tention to their own brilliancy. Changes is better for the staging of Shakespeare in coloring should be so gradual that —realistic or suggestive staging. In the they are not noticed by the audience. A first place, elaborate settings are im- sunset that is of too gorgeous a coloring possible because Shakespeare did not will call attention to itself. The effect adhere to the three unities, time, place, of storm clouds projected by a lighting and action. A play that takes place al- device nearly alwaA^s distracts the at- together in a drawing room can easily be tention of the spectator. Lighting effects done in realistic staging, but Shakes- of blue and purple that make the actor pearean plays sometimes shift their set-

[12] e^3 7

ting from a castle to the deck of a sail- part. Red light was used in almost every ing ship. Shakespeare wrote for a stage scene to suggest murder and tragedy. that had practically no scenery; so he Gordon Craig describes his scene of had the characters in the play describe Duncan and his court as being an "ab- the settings in order to help the audience stract showing kingship, the essence of imagine them. There is no need for de- power, and the glory of being king." tailed settings of castles, battlefields, or The interior of Macbeth's castle was all forests that would be a great deal of angular, and a number of screens were trouble and expense to reproduce, and lighted up in such a way that they cast that would require much time between shadows. Gordon Craig says that "shad- acts and scenes for stage hands to set ows are ominous and there is something

up. Moreover, if a production were fearful about angles." In his designs made with realistic scenery, many de- for Macbeth, he strives always to make scriptive lines impossible to translate in- the audience sense the tragedy of the to a painted setting would have to be play either consciously or unconsciously. taken out, and "never should Shakes- Douglas Ross thus describes Gordon peare be cut in the interest of scenery." Craig's design for the last scene: "The

All in all, suggestion in the staging of battle scene—and the finale—shows the Shakespeare is better than realism, be- wreckage after the storm with Macbeth

cause it is "simpler, cheaper, quicker, and his burnt-up ambitions a heap of

and above all more effective." human ashes." This, though rather ex- Suggestive staging worked out in aggerated, shows how the modern stage actual productions of Hamlet and Mac- designers of the new movement in stag- beth will illustrate the arguments that ing try to suggest the mood and thought

suggestion is simpler, cheaper, quicker, behind a play, whether it is Shakes- and more effective than realism in pearean or modern. Shakespearean plays. Norman Bel Ged- Gordon Craig was the first of the des designed the scenes of Hamlet as pioneers in the movement, but none of produced by the Lakewood Players at his work in staging except for Macbeth Showhegan, Maine, so that there would has been seen in America. Since 1900, be practically no time for changing he has shown by actual experiment and scenes. His stage was constructed in a in his writings the futility of naturalistic series of platforms that could be v:sed setting and the value of suggestion. Max successively. No change, therefore, was Reinhardt is the best known of the "se- necessary other than adding a few port- cessionists" from the regular theatre, able objects such as draperies, stand- and has shown that the realistic setting ards of candles, and benches. In fact is not a help but a hindrance to the

it was the lighting that played the most realistic play. George Fuches, another important part in the changing of scenes. reformer, has made great progress in A cold blue light was used to suggest the German theatres, which are said by night in the scene on the parapet, and Sheldon Cheney to be twenty years a warm light to suggest the interior of ahead of those in America and England. the palace in the player's scene. The In fact all European countries, especially lighting in Gordon Craig's production Russia, are doing much more than the of Macbeth also played a very important United States with the new stage craft.

[13] In the United States, it is found mostly a play can be spoiled by realistic scenery in the experiments of "toy theatres" and with elaborate and distracting land- universities. scapes. Such scenery is not in accord What the students see in the staging with the principle of good staging as

of plays in the University of Illinois is Max Reinhardt states it: "The play is a very good example of the nevi^ stage the thing—and the setting is merely a craft. Perhaps they do not realize how background or frame."

Bibliography

1. Brown, F. C, "The Bel Geddes' Hamlet, a 6. Craig, E. (Gordon, Scene, London, H. Melodrama," Drama, 20 (Dec. 1928), Milford, Oxford University Press, 1923. 73-75. 7. "Experiment with Lights for Atmosphere," 2. Cheney, Sheldon, The New Movement in Drama, 20 (Dec. 1929), 83. the Theatre, New York, M. Kennerley, 8. Ross, Douglas, "The Craig-Shakespeare 1914. Macbeth," Drama, 19, (Dec. 1928). 3. "Contemporary Stage Decoration in the 9. Seton, Marie, "The Russian Scene—Soviet U. S. S. R„" Drama, 20 (Jan. 1930), Theatres in 1933," Theatre Arts Monthly, 100-103. (April) 1933. 4. Craig, E. Gordon, On the Art of the 10. Vernon, Frank, Modern Stage Produc- Theatre, London, W. Hinemann, 1912. tion, London, "The Stage Office," 1923. 5. Craig, E. Gordon, Towards a New

Theatre, London & Toronto, J. M. Dent & Sons, 1913.

The Old French Market of New Orleans Irma McMillan

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

q^HE CATHEDRAL BELLS are is covered by a squat slate roof sup- * just ringing six o'clock as we pass ported by large brick pillars. Crowds of by the church door. The solemn Sunday men and women representing many races and many classes are standing in groups morning calm rules the surrounding on the curb. Many more are pouring area. I have been up since five o'clock, into the market. Wagons loaded with and though I am only eight years old, vegetables and fruits stand near the I am not the least bit sleepy. My eager curb. Men chattering in French, Span- feet trip lightly along the cobble-stones, ish, and Italian are pushing their way and little clutches my hand more tightly with their unloaded produce through that of my grandmother. I am near the the crowds to enter the market. old French Market for the first time, and Passing under the overhanging roof, I see this old picturesque market still my grandmother and I enter the market. just as it was in my grandmother's Curiously, I look about me, to the east, childhood. to the west, to the north, to the south.

As we approach nearer, I see a long I see rows and rows of stalls glowing open building which resembles the pa- witli colors. With our baskets on our vilions of Milneburg, Louisiana, not arms, we join the moving crowd mak- quite as wide but very much longer. It ing its way through the market.

[14] ;

I no longer hold my grandmother's and I come to her favorite butcher, hand, but trot eagerly at her heels. On and there, as before, in a personal either side of the section through which and friendly manner, she makes her we are now passing, piled in the com- purchases. partments of the stalls, are vegetables of Our marketing, however, is not com- every kind peculiar to our city. Beau- plete. We are to have "gumbo" for din- tifully colored fruits, artistically ar- ner; so we journey towards the fish- ranged, fill many of the trays. Baskets section. As we enter this section, I gaze loaded with red and green peppers, with with amazement. Never have I seen so garlic, and with large red onions stand many fish at one time, in all my life. near the openings. Chattering men and There are fish on pegs, fish in baskets, women stand around the stalls, rubbing fish on the tables, fish everywhere, it their hands together when the}' are not seems to me. Large baskets filled with busy and calling to the moving throng, crawling blue and green crabs are so

"Nice vegetables, madam ; nice fruit, scattered over the floor that one has to ma'm'selle. Will you buy?" be careful not to stumble over them. After a short while, we stop in front Some of the crabs have jumped out of of one of the stalls. An old French a basket and now move about on the woman greets my grandmother. They floor. We pass around them. A boy are old friends. My grandmother bickers runs over with his tongs, catches them and bargains with her in a friendly up, and throws them back into the bas-

fashion while buying some vegetables, ket. Beautiful, firm pink shrimp lie in which she allows me to put in my basket. compartments into which small particles Our marketing has begun. My grand- of ice have been dropped. mother knows where the best is to be We pass many such stalls. They all had. Though this stall has remarkable look alike to me, but not so, apparently, celery, parsley, and thyme, its green to my grandmother, for she resolutely peppers are not so fresh and the fruit walks onward, with me following her, there is too dear. Thus we continue our until she reaches a certain fish-stand, journey through the section, stopping and there she buys her fish. Live, long- here, stopping there, until we have all clawed crabs, large fresh shrimp, and the vegetables and fruits that we wish, a big shining red fish make up the list. and more besides. The crabs are put into a bag by them- Pushing our way through the wander- selves with some moss. The other fish ing mass of men, women, and children, are wrapped together.

we cross a short passageway and enter Our marketing is done. We pass out the meat-market. Here I see, hanging to the "banquette," make our way on the pegs of the meat-stalls, slabs of through the flower-market, and cross the bloody beef and veal, furry rabbits, and street.

sides of mutton. Butchers with white This old French Market is no more.

aprons splotched with blood, are slicing, A new one has taken its place. This is cutting, and chopping meat. Some are now a sedate structure of steel and calling to one another in a hearty and stone, enclosed, screened, and modern

cheerful voice ; others are humming in every way. It is no longer unsanitary

French and Italian airs. We walk on neither is it unique and picturesque as

for some time. Finally, my grandmother it once was.

[15] My Trees Louise Trimble

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

T HAVE TWO TREES—not literally, moonlight and in bright, cold moonlight

* of course, but I consider them as mine. and have been unable to say which was They stand side by side in a broad field, the more enchanting. like a Japanese print. They are tall and For a long time, I did not want to straight with crooked branches which know what kind of trees they were. I are almost identical in shape and size. was content to have them be my trees,

The foliage is not thick, and the semi- set off from other trees. However, cur- bare branches make patterns on the sky. iosity overcame me, as it usually does, The trees stand close together, calm and I made an examination. They were

and, it seems to me, proud. I have persimmon trees, loaded with fruit ; but never seen them in a storm, but I be- around the trunk of each tree curled lieve they would have that remote, un- poison ivy vines in profusion. I was touchable air even when bent and tossed reminded of the tree, guarded by the by a great wind. dragon, where grew the three golden My trees fascinate me. I have never apples. missed looking at them when I drive It is queer, but I have thought of along the road. They are especially these trees for so long that they have beautiful on warm summer evenings developed a definite personality. I say !" with a pastel sky behind them. They to friends, "Come look at my trees are equally as lovely on a winter evening When they see them, they say, "Yes, when the black, bare branches are sil- aren't they beautiful." houetted on a grey background. Their That is all, but when I look at them, beauty in the rain has made me catch I see more than their beauty. I see that my breath, and I have been pleased they are alive and strange, and that they when I saw them drenched in sunlight. have an atmosphere about them that few Then, I have seen them in warm, orange can penetrate.

[16] C^ \o

Things I Could Do Without Grace Liesendahl

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

GENERALLY, I am a person of in human nature—and so do buttered rather mild disposition, but I can beets. Why someone saw fit to raise the be stirred to fiery eloquence by the mere humble beet to the role of a great table mention of one of my three pet peeves: delicacy is something I never shall aflfected women, buttered beets, and understand. Mother has always apol- Rusk O'Dair. ogized for this dish by saying, "Now,

To have to associate continually with dear, you know it's good for you." But an affected woman is about the most that never made me like buttered beets annoying thing there is. When I say any better. affected, I mean it in the sense of bury- Both of these are bad, but Rusk ing one's real personality so deeply under O'Dair is worse. His attempt to be a false pretenses and mannerism that one "little ray of sunshine" is pitiful, and the becomes a ridiculous, puppet-like sham. sound of his "Ladies and gentlemen,

The difficult part of the matter is that whatever you may be doing, we hope frequently we cannot avoid these crea- that you are happy," makes me want to tures, and are forced to associate with weep. There is no connection between them in business or school. This type modern dance music and such "sunshine of woman is usually an inferior person philosophy," and no attempt should be who realizes her inferiority. She seeks made to join them. to hide it by adopting various manner- My idea of the most miserable posi- isms, such as an Oxford accent, a gush- tion imaginable would be listening to ing manner, a queer walk, a dramatic air, Rusk O'Dair broadcast while eating or, horror of horrors, baby talk. buttered beets in the company of an Affected people tend to shake my faith affected woman.

The Road to Monterey William Ellsberry

Theme 4, Rhetoric I, 1933-34 npHE HIGHWAY which lies between glides much as a hawk would swoop

* Nueva Laredo and Monterey is per- toward its prey into the outskirts of the haps the most scenic road of the con- most picturesque city in Mexico, tinent. It stretches over the mesquite Monterey. wastes of the Rio Grande ; it winds The desolate region along the Rio through the foothills of the Rockies and Grande is covered almost entirely by on up into the mountains, and then mesquite and sage brush. It is extremely

[17] h7

dry and dusty. It abounds with various clean atmosphere which stimulates the

forms of wild life that inhabit dry places. senses and instills a feeling of vigor into Scorpions grow to an astounding size, the system. lizards crawl lazily across the road, and As the road winds on over the peaks coyotes cough noisily. Occasionally a and across the canyons, the mountains

cougar is seen slinking back into the seem to diminish in size and to lose their

recesses of the brush. The land presents prominence. An urban atmosphere is ex-

an aspect of danger and hardships ; yet perienced, and in the distance the spires

it is very interesting, and in a way fasci- of Monterey can be seen. The thread- nating. like highway glides down a gentle incline As one drives on for a few hours, he for a distance of about ten miles, and begins to notice a change in the country. then widens and blends into the maze of

The land is more rolling, and various the city's streets. types of small palms replace the dried The traveler looks through the rear and withered mesquite. In the distance window of his car at the road over the grayish forms of mountains appear, which he has just ridden. He realizes

and in a short time the road begins to how appalling is its beauty, and he con-

ascend at a noticeable angle. The air gratulates himself for having seen it. He grows cooler, and a moist freshness takes realizes that he now has something of the place of the dry desert heat. The which to be proud: he has seen the snow-clad peaks seem to emanate a clear, Road to Monterey.

The Night Watch Regina Lewis

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

TT WAS MIDNIGHT when the new of the night. The flashing signal light * shift went on duty. From the coffee- disclosed the ledge of sand-bags piled shed, one could see through the fog and along the levee. Beyond that gray mass rain a huddled mass of men whose lan- of sogg}' sand and canvas was the gray terns sent eerie beams into the blackness river, washing against the bank. The

[18] •». \fi

swish of the waves and the hoarse cries every step. A dog which had followed of the men were almost drowned by the the men into the warm room shook itself steady, relentless beat of the rain on the near the stove. The water sizzled as it window. sprayed against the hot iron before it The town lay to the east. The lighted evaporated. One man fell asleep on his windows sent forth timid gleams, like the bench, and a stream of water trickled faint hope in the hearts of those waiting from his curved helmet, dropping into alone. Then the fog hid everything from the untouched coffee on the table. The view. dank smell of wet leather filled the room. At four o'clock, the darkness began to One of the men arose. fade into a murky gray. Everything was "Another hour and we'll be safe," he gray—the sky, the river, the men, the earth, the houses in the distance—a cold, remarked, opening the shed door. The wet gray. The men came tramping into men filed out silently after him. The dog the shed for coflfee. Their garments were turned in its warm place by the stove, drenched, and their shoes slushed with blinked, and closed its eyes.

The Rising Sun Walter Draper

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1932-33 WELL UP on the east shore of Lake stranger crew. The great religious cult Michigan lies, tucked away in the of Benton Harbor, The House of David, hills, a sleepy little fishing village. There operated a large but aged schooner was a time when this community knew which, with her bewhiskered crew, or cared little for the outside world, and caused a great deal of awe among sea- in the wintertime it was entirely cut off farers. The Rising Sun stole solemnly

from it. Civilization has, unfortunately, from port to port carrying cargoes of all in tlie past few years encroached upon kinds. One chilly, drizzly night during this picturesque spot, and a fine, new the autumnal equinox, the Rising Sun concrete highway has brought thousands pushed her gloomy bow northward into of tourists. The older fisher folk resent a stiiT and freshening wind. With every

this encroachment, as it is driving out heave she sang a song of creaks and their old customs and rendering their groans. The bearded crew went about long-held beliefs precariously unsteady. their work without a word to one

There is one old tale, however, that may another, but each one hummed a weird

still be heard from the lips of those who chant. Four bells struck on the evening

earnestly believe it. watch, and the man at the wheel reported One time ever so long ago, in the all well. Tn those days lighthouses were

'fifties to be exact, there sailed upon the scarce, and much depended upon the lake a very strange ship with an even mariners' skill. Late in the evening watch

[19] < bV

the schooner had passed the Sleeping forded a scant shelter. All at once, he Bear point and was pounding up through spied numerous moving objects on the the Manitow straits when she shoved wreck. Tall, gaunt, and ghastly they sandbar. hard on a The frame shuddered were as they became visible in the light- and shook as the pounding seas began to ning. Their beards glistened white with dismember the ship. What happened to spray and their faces presented a most the crew has never been learned, but the formidable appearance. They sang a ship still hangs, wrecked, on the sandbar. weird chant as they worked feverishly Now every year when the fall equinox around an old rusty capstan. The chant- sends driving rains and high seas down ing grew louder and louder until the from the north, the crew of the Rising youth, terror-stricken, ran to town as Sun come back to rescue their ship. fast as he could. One of the younger generation so recounted doubted this story as to venture out on He to a weather-beaten fisherman one of those stormy fall nights. He of the old school what he had slipped along the beach in the driving seen. They returned, next day, to find rain and soon arrived at a point where, the wreck twenty feet nearer the deep by the flashes of lightning, he could see water than she had been the day before. the battered Rising Sun. He huddled, "They'll get her yet," drawled the old shivering, between two trees that af- sailor.

Polly

Roberta Elvis

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

pOLLY awkwardly clambered to the edge of the tall, regally straight, cement ^ top of the silo. The suff^ocating odor silo. As she gazed off into space, she

of damp, mouldy silage escaped from the rubbed her eyes and noticed for the first cracks around the sealed doors, and time since once last spring that the world seemingly clung to the cobwebbed cement was really beautiful at four in the morn- walls encircling the shaft through which ing.

Polly had come. The silage was still high It was one of God's dawns. The sun enough for her to see over the rounded seemed to be a colorful trumpet blaring

[20] its challenge to the sleepy world. The give her his complete attention, he made air was dripping with the thick, sweet her extremely jealous. Jack was yelling smell of millions of late summer's most at Miles. beautiful flowers. Polly picked up a "How're ya this grand morning? Boy, small bit of a stalk of corn. Why should it's swell, isn't it? Hey, Polly, come help !" it be called silage? What was silage? me get this crazy cow back into its stall Who thought of that word anyway? "Hello, Jack; where's Polly? She Maybe being silage was—to corn—the must be sleepy this morning." It was same as being dead—to us. Wonder about time for her to make her entrance, what Dad and Mother would do if she, she thought. Should she go to meet Miles Polly, fell off the silo and died? Her and tell him that she had been up since mother, she thought, would cry all morn- a quarter till four, or should she help ing, then go around for the next week Jack put the cow back in its stall ? Miles with her eyes all swollen, her nose need- won preference, as she knew he would. ing the application of her handkerchief "Polly!" Jack was calling her from every few minutes, and her face bearing over by Pet's stall. an extra-solemn-Sunday expression. Mer "What do you want now ?" Polly was dad's face would become grimly defiant, becoming disgusted ; after all. Miles was and he would have to grit his teeth to there and was very much interested in keep from saying anything. Corn went her that morning. to such a nice, sweet heaven—if this was "Let's go for a ride before breakfast. the corn's heaven. Before the corn was We have plentj' of time. Miles won't cut for silage, the stiff stalks had looked mind if you're gone for just a minute or like a regiment of strictly trained soldiers two." The suggestion was made so in- being reviewed by her dad. She stood, vitingly and was so tinged with sarcasm her thoughts going in immense, queer that she decided to go along with him in circles until, glancing toward the south, order to avoid further comment. Her she saw Miles coming to do his early mother was hardly in favor of her get- morning work at their house. ting up at daybreak and staying out at

She would have fun teasing Miles this the barn all morning anyway, with "all morning. He was quite late—for the that hired help hanging around." first time since he had been working Pet, their riding horse, was easily and there. She would be able to laugh and quickly saddled. Jack, as a matter of say that she got there first that morning. courtesy, politely offered the first ride to She hurried down the slippery, cold Polly—perhaps to appease her already rungs of the steel ladder which were none-too-pleasant disposition. She fastened into the cement of the walls. jumped on with the ease and grace of Jack, her younger brother, had just come most tomboys and started off down the from the house—he had seen Miles, too. road to the corner agreed upon as their Polly vaguely wondered why she couldn't limit. She slowly and gradually in- help wishing that Jack hadn't come just creased Pet's gait from a perfect trot to yet. She liked to talk to Miles, too. a more comfortable pace ; then at last Probably too much—that was what her she reached her favorite gait, which was mother had said once when she got up a fast lope. Polly quickly forgot about in a rush and ran to meet him. She was Miles, who was busily finishing the milk- easily hurt by Miles. When he didn't ing. She relaxed, loosened her hold on

[21] the reins, and prepared to enjoy every mow. The one before that poisoned her- inch of that ride. self—at least that's what Cal Green said She returned slovily—hoping that Jack yesterday in at town." would be disgusted at having had to His dad was not quite the type of man wait. She couldn't find Jack anywhere to relish gossip ; so, by kicking Jack and, after searching through the barn under the table and lowering his eye- and surrounding sheds, she went in the brows, he assumed a fiercely formidable house for breakfast. Miles and Jack expression and drowned this subject in were practically through eating. Polly a recital to Miles of the latest market slid into her chair and bent hungrily over news. her fast-cooling breakfast. Her dad After a hastil}' swallowed breakfast, smiled knowingly at her—probably Jack Polly ran to catch up with Miles who had told him b}' now how he had ditched was hitching up the gray team to go to her. the field. She hesitatingly asked what

"Well, Polly, I suppose you know all he was trying to tell her at breakfast. about the new family moving in onto She knew it was something important be- the old York place?" cause they had worked out a secret sign

Strange as it may seem, Polly knew code, and she had recognized the sign nothing about them. that stood for "you."

Miles glanced up and winked ; he was "Polly, what would you say if I asked making queer motions with his hands and if I could come over to-night and had eyes. Everything seemed so mysterious you teach me how to dance?" and yet funny. Jack interrupted the She knew that Miles could dance as agonizing silence which followed his well as or better than she could; so she dad's question. blushingly scufifed up the damp dust onto

"Yep. and can you imagine what I her bare feet and nodded yes. heard about the man of the family? He As Miles left for the field, she stood has been married about three or four for a long time leaning against a fence times already. His last wife was found, post and wondered just what there was

I guess, hanging from a rafter in a hay- that she could teach him.

[22] —

Clubhouse—and No Clubhouse Merle Myers

Theme 16, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

CRASH ! A shower of glass splinters into the second floor of our palatial flew into the cellar, while the spires mansion and began the formal dedication of glass remaining in the window-frame of this new meeting place. Except for

quivered for a moment, ready to fall at the stuffiness of the box and the smoke the slightest touch. The three members of the sputtering candle, we held a very of The Three-Eye Club eyed each other successful meeting, and with handshakes disconsolately and began formulating and mutterings of the password, "Jewel," their alibis. How could they explain this we parted until the next day. broken window? Several days after this formal dedica- Being a minister, my father usually tion, in our prowls behind the block or kept a pile of packing boxes ready for two of store buildings we came upon a his frequent moves, and he had conven- rusty sword—so rusty that there was iently stacked the largest of them behind very little sword left. Notwithstanding the church. These six or seven boxes that we were directly behind a lodge had remained unmolested for some time, building at the time of the discovery, we until my brother and I were hosts to a immediately deduced from the quantity brilliant idea. We had just received of rust that we had a valuable relic of presents, the Woolworth variety, of small the Civil War. We carried this valuable saws and hammers, and, as a result of discovery to our clubhouse and gave it a the gifts and the lack of other employ- place of honor on the second floor. Un- ment, we had conceived the idea of fortunately, after we had given several building a clubhouse with the aid of our public exhibitions of our new-found new tools. treasure, the members of another club Summoning the other member of the in the neighborhood had a desire to club from his home across the street, we possess the same object, and although we began our attack upon the boxes with had legal rights to the sword, their club saws, hammers, and what not, but if we had more force because of a larger had not been aided by the fact that membership. some boxes were open on one side, our One day as we saw the opposing club patience might easil}' have been ex- approaching our packing-box palace in a hausted. At last the task was completed, body, we seized our treasure and desper- and, with a conglomeration of carpets, ately took our only safety measure magazine pictures, candles, and old iron, we retreated down through a window we furnished our seven-room clubhouse, into the black depths of a half-exca- using burlap sacks, smelling suspiciously vated section of the church basement. like potatoes, to exclude observers. After This plan was so successful that we fol- secretive looks outside, we worked our- lowed it in the future, using the base- selves through a very narrow trapdoor ment of the church as the guardian of

[23] our prize and even of ourselves in times Russ Paulsen and his gang must have of dire necessity. broken the pane one night while we were It was during one of these "flights absent. of discretion" that, without warning, the A day passed with no parental action, cellar window thudded from its hook and we thought that the matter had been and banged against the frame with a forgotten, but early one morning we saw loud shattering of glass. When the full the short figure of my father moving to- realization of what had happened came wards the clubhouse with a hammer in to us accompanied by the thought of ex- one hand, and during the succeeding plaining this accident to m}- father, we hours, we witnessed the demolishing of tried to plan a good alibi. After fruitless our clubhouse, with bitter thoughts about attempts to do so, we decided to main- parents in general. However, as the tain a deep silence in hope that the win- splendor of the clubhouse ascended into dow might not be noticed ; but somehow, probabl}' through the janitor, the inci- the atmosphere in the form of black dent leaked out, and we were summoned smoke, we shook hands solemnly, and to report our part in the occurrence. with the saying of the magic word, Although we are now considered experts "Jewel," began our hunt for new in the art of alibi-making, my brother quarters. The club had survived another and I were then able to explain only that set-back.

A Victorian Twilight Constance Wilkinson

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

JEAN was standing at the parlor she heard the shouts and laughter of the window, gazing between the drawn girls and boys playing next door. She

shades at the little garden. She had wanted to go out with them : but as she been standing there, mechanically twist- leaned to see them better, the prickles of ing the curtain string about her fingers, her dress reminded her that she was for more than half an hour. Once a wearing her best clothes. She couldn't robin had alighted on the terrace below play tom-boy in that dress. Her mother the window, and Jean's eyes had glowed always made her wear it when she with pleasure. She loved birds and visited her grandmother, and the Ger- flowers. She had watched the robin as man cook, with whom she had had pre- it searched in the black soil for worms. vious experience, would certainly scold

And when it flew away, it left the her if she saw her outdoors. garden more lifeless and, it seemed, She turned her back to the window. more ugly than before. .She wondered why they kept the shades Faintly, through the closed windows. down in the parlor, shutting out the sun.

[24] ;

It made the room seem so gloomy. At men, smug and well fed—seemed to be one end was an upright piano with a watching and condemning. Jean felt a plume of dyed pampas grass hanging faint tremor of guilt ; then she forgot from a vase on its top. She always herself in the delights of her imagina- thought of her uncle when she saw the tion. piano. She could see him there now, his Hannibal was just crossing the Alps close-cropped head bent over the with his army and elephants when Jean yellowed keys. Rare moments of en- heard the faint swish of a dress in the chantment came back to Jean's mind liall. For a brief moment her body moments when she had crept downstairs trembled ; then she turned, rather to listen, hiding behind the heavy por- shakily, to the dim doorway. Her tieres. The music had changed the room grandmother was looking at her coldly, for Jean. The marble-topped table, the her face the image of passionless, un- red carpet, the tiled coal grate, and the relenting virtue. With pursed lips she horsehair couch would fade, and for a swept across the room, and stooped to brief moment before she was discovered, pick up the tiny elephants, without a the room would be peopled with strange word. Jean was crushed by her silence. fanciful creatures that seemed to come She felt that she had somehow hurt her. from nowhere when her uncle's fingers She replaced the elephants and turned touched the keys. to Jean. But these pleasing fancies were always "You know that was wrong." She short-lived. The cook would see her and spoke very softly. "Are you sorry?" send her off to bed ; or, with a warning "Yes, grandmother," Jean answered, swish of her dress, her grandmother evading her eyes. would appear in the dark hallway. She .She stood there a minute looking very always told Jean that her uncle's music stern and prim in her black dress. She was bad for her. It put ideas into her reminded Jean of the portraits she had head, she said. Of course it did—but seen of a queen. A faint tinge of revolt they were beautiful ideas. stirred in Jean. She almost hated her For the hundredth time that day, as grandmother, but when she turned away she wandered aimlessly up and down the and walked silently out of the room, room, Jean stopped before the case con- Jean felt ashamed and sat down on the taining shelves of bric-a-brac and old couch in the corner with folded hands. china. .She liked especially the exqui- The couch was hard and hurt her back. sitely carved ivory elephants that her •Slie sat very still, listening to the monot- grandfather had brought from India onous ticking of the marble clock on the years ago. Jean's fingers fairly itched to mantel, and the very faint noises from play with them. She knew her grand- next door. It was very quiet and lonely, mother had told her many times not to, and the drawn shades gave a pale yellow but she was upstairs resting and would light to the room. She sat very still never know. until she thought she would cry; then

She opened the door softly and took she rose and walked stiffly out into the them out one by one. From the walls hall. around, the gloomy portraits of the When she was half way up the dark, family—pudgy women in black, high- carpeted stairs, she decided she would necked dresses and puffed sleeves, and explore the third floor. It would be

[25] rather exciting—she had never been up Jean's eyes wandered back to the there before. For the first time that day book. It was open at a picture of a girl she was happy. She scrambled up the leaning against a tree, looking thought- second flight and was confronted by a fully into the west that glowed with the hallway \vith a small window at its dark setting sun. She sighed. She knew end. She stood in the dusty half light. nothing—except that it was lovely and The air smelled of musty old trunks and affected her strangely. It made her want furniture. Then she peeped into the to cr)% to touch the girl and comfort her. first doorway. In the darkness beneath She felt as if she were dreaming. The the slanting roof she made out the out- room had faded into a soft background lines of old tables and chairs enveloped of warm colors. The birds and the in dusty gray covers. She shut the door life this softly. breeze were hushed. Her up to She opened the second door. It was moment had been a meaningless suc- her uncle's room. She remembered hear- cession of days and nights. She had ing that her uncle had left very suddenly been starved — starved for glimpses of a few days before, after a disagreement autumn twilight and the snatches of with his father—some quarrel about her music her uncle played. The past was uncle's paintings that Jean could not a dream. She was with this girl, feeling quite understand. She was rather afraid her sadness . . .

it wrong . . . to go in. Of course was The girl seemed almost alive, as if she went in. It was a small room She were moving ever so slightly. Jean with fascinating pictures on the walls dropped the book and put her hands over and books piled on the tables. The floor her eyes. She felt dizzy. She listened was strewn with her uncle's papers and at the top of the stairs, faintly perceiving sketches. She picked up a large book the odor of the kitchen. and opened it. There were pictures of Clutching the banister, she crept beautiful nymphs and graceful little slowly downstairs. She stole into the fauns and grotesque men that looked like parlor and tried to make herself com- devils. fortable on the couch. She was perspir- Jean sat down on the floor in the soft ing. She knew she had another of her twilight, holding the book in her lap. fever spells. She wished someone would The evening breeze blowing through the open window fluttered the leaves. Out- come in and see her. But she could only side, the birds chirped sleepily. The top sit very straight and miserable in the of the huge elm beyond the window cast darkness, and listen to the tick-tock, tick- dancing, swaying shadows on the floor tock of the marble clock on the mantel and walls. piece.

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[26] "Death in the Afternoon" Henry McAdam.s

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1932-33 IT WAS a beautiful summer day left the highway but remained sitting on nearly fourteen years ago. The chil- my bicycle. The woman ran into my dren in our neighborhood were playing house, which was next to Grandmother's, up and down the whole length of the and in a moment both she and my block on the concrete sidewalk which, mother, who also looked changed and through the aid of our imagination, had strange, ran back into my grandmother's become an automobile highway. Gaso- house. I called to them as they passed, line stations and garages had been placed but they didn't seem to hear me.

here and there ; traffic signals, with Now I no longer had any heart for pieces of red and green paper serving driving an automobile. I left my bicycle

for liglits, had been erected. Stop signs and the busy game and went into my were plentiful, and a certain section of house. I knew something dreadful had

the sidewalk had been marked ofif as a happened, but a vague fear kept me

bridge with tollhouses at each end. I from finding out what it was. The house was younger than most of the children, seemed lonely and empty, and my heart

but I was proudly driving my auto- did not grow any lighter when I saw my

mobile, observing all the speed laws, as father drive up at an hour when it was I pedalled up and down on my new unusual for him to be home. He also three-\\-heeled bicycle. Others might be disappeared into my grandmother's arrested by the traffic cop and taken to house. Our old dog was lying on the

the jail under tlie linden tree, but I was floor in the front hall, and I lay down

very careful. It was not that I feared beside him, putting my arm around his the cop, but because I was so blissfully shaggy neck. happy at being allowed in the game, that After a while one of my aunts, with

I was so law-abiding. red, swollen eyes, came in and sat in our

I had come up to the bridge for the parlor, but she did not seem to see me. twentieth time, and for the twentieth She answered the telephone several times

time I was tendering a green leaf in pay- and always in the same words: "Yes, it

ment of the toll. As I waited a moment is true," "Yes, it is too dreadful,"

for the leaf to be punched by the man in "Please excuse me, I can't talk about it

the tollhouse, I looked up and saw a now." It was easy to see that something

woman come running and stumbling very terrible had happened. I wanted to

from the front door of my grand- ask what it was, but something kept me mother's house. She had on the dress from saying a word. Everything would

that my grandmother often wore, but I have been all right if only my mother

knew it couldn't be my dignified grand- could have come. Was I going to cry?

mother because Grandmother never ran No! I didn't know what there was to about; and, besides, this woman's face cry about yet. Besides, the big boys had

had a very queer look which I had never let me play with them to-day, so of seen before. All the same she looked course I could never cry any more. But like Grandmother. I was frightened and then Aunt Alice was crying, and she was

[27] a grown-up lady. Perhaps I could cry She patted my head and talked to me in just a little bit. No! No! No! I musn't German. Bertha's brother took me on cry. his knee and told me how he had got all The lump was rising in my throat, my the scars on his hands and arms. He eyes were burning, but just before the had been one of the first to go over, and tears came, I heard at the kitchen door he had been at the front only a week a step that I well knew. I left the old when a schrapnel shell burst near him dog and ran as fast as I could to throw and he had been sent home after a six myself into the strong, capable arms of months stay in the hospital. He brought Bertha, the person whom, next to my out his gun and helmet, and let me play parents, I loved best in all the world. with them. She began to talk to me, half in German We could not stay very long because and half in English, but I didn't listen to Bertha did all the cooking at our house what she was saying. It was enough to and it was time to get dinner, she said. hold tightly to her hand and to feel that I took off the helmet and said good-bye here at last was a refuge from the sad, to "Grossmutter." strange world that surrounded me. We My father and mother sat at the walked down the street together, our dinner table with me, and I talked hands clasped together. "You're going eagerly about my visit at Bertha's house. home with me to-day," she was murmur- To be sure, they did not have very much ing. It was always such fun to go home to say, but that was no reason for me to with Bertha. She had good things to be silent. When they said they were

eat, and her brother could tell me about going to Grandmother's house after

the war. I began to hop and skip at her dinner and told me there were reasons side. The sadness at home was far why I should not come, I was not at all behind us. troubled. I knew Bertha would stay

Bertha's home was a tj'pical, spotless with me. She would tell me stories, and German house. Over the mantelpiece sing German songs, and try to teach me hung a large picture of Martin Luther. some German words. She would listen He was looking straight at me, and I to everything I said just as she listened

greeted him as an old friend, for I knew to the grown-up people ; and I needn't

all about him. I knew that Bertha loved be afraid to ask her to do anything I

to go to church, and that she could never wanted her to do. She would do it if

have gone if it had not been for Martin she could, and she was always so Luther. friendly and smiling. So I fell asleep, None of Bertha's family was ever to happily listening to her German songs, be seen in the front room; so we went after a checkered day. on into the dining room. In one corner It was not until the next morning that sat a ver}' old woman. She could speak I learned what all the sorrow had been no English and I could speak no Ger- about. My cousin, a young college man, but that did not prevent us from student, had shot himself in my grand-

being great friends. I thought that mother's house just as I was approach- "Grossmutter" was a very funny name, ing the tollbridge on the automobile but that was what everybody called her. highway.

[28]

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Vol.3 JANUARY, 1934 No. 2

CONTENTS

HELL WEEK 1 Anonymous TRAVELING WITH BOOKS 3 Walter Wormser THE DISPUTED BONE OF EUROPE 4 L. K. Offenbacker RING LARDNER 8 Milton Sachs AMERICA'S WANDERING CHILDREN .... 8 Cameron Brown LIFE IN AN INFORMATION OFFICE .... II Lucy Coe PENSIONS FOR THE AGED 14 Paul A. Sims SISTERS UNDER THE SKIN 16 Dorothy Deal "ENOUGH ROPE"—Dorothy Parker 18 Carol Rolph THE SPIRIT OF MY AMERICA 18 Ellis Blair ON FISHING 22 James Hagen AMERICAN SERFDOM 23 Julius Richmond BACKWATER 24 Margaret Maxwell THE THUNDERSTORM 25 Julia Hermie ENTRANCE TO UNIVERSITY HALL 26 Luella McCormick THE "GENERAL" 27 Marshall Smith A WALK 28 Walter Turner UP FROM THE COAL COUNTRY 29 Robert Arnold WANDERLUST FOILED 30 George P. Entrekin

PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS. URBANA

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Hell Week Anonymous

Theme 7, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

TN MOST Greek letter societies the carefully and guard themselves. Physical ^ time for informal initiation, or Hell bravery we value highly now, but we do

Week, is looked forward to by the ac- not have bodies made to withstand the tive members only. Is there any just long torture which men endured smiling,

cause for having Hell Week ? Why keep for a cause, in the old days. repeating a custom or habit, year after Today a teacher who uses corporal

year, if there is no reason except to punishment is usually brought into court. amuse the active members? In modern Cultured parents will not permit their civilization—that is what they call this children to be abused. Fraternity pledges period—we have never had the suffering come from homes of refinement. Most produced in the schoolroom which was of these boys have reached manhood common all over England in boys' without having experienced the humilia- schools during the time of Dickens and tion of a beating at home or at school Thackeray. Everyone has read David more modern methods of training were Copperfield, and more particularly Oliver used. Twist. In the latter book, the evil of Unfortunately, fraternities frequently punishment on the part of the masters have some members who have a tend-

is shown in its effect on weak and sensi- ency to extreme cruelty, who delight in tive children of nervous disposition. the suffering of others. Because of the Many a literary man has left in an essay tradition of "hell week," they are per- or sketch, or some forgotten paragraph mitted to practice this cruelty almost in one of his works, an account of what uncurbed. Psychologists have diagnosed he suflfered, or what he saw endured by this tendency as a disease. Sadism, which lads to whom the schoolroom floggings many people possess without realizing

were outrages to mind and spirit as well it, carries with it the perversive power to as to body. see in their acts justice, necessity, the Now, modern psychologists, nerve thing required for the good of the vic- specialists, and modern educators have tim. studied these matters. Our civilization The books of abnormal psychology has not made our bodies like steel and are full of examples of sadistic tenden- of fire. It has not hardened and cooled us cies ; such as Catherine the Great

into rocklike resistance. Rather, it has Russia, and Ivan the Terrible. Ivan was

shattered and broken us ; we are more not cruel in the pleasant way of most nervous, more tense, more highstrung. earlier rulers in war times, as was Timur Our bodies can endure less. Our growth the Lame, Genghis Khan, and others. has been mental and perhaps spiritual, But in times of peace, he filled his dun- but not physical. In the old days there geons with suspects and delighted to su- were giants, but their descendants are pervise their tortures personally. not giants, but people who must go about We are supposed to be advanced far

[1] a

beyond this stage, but in the daily press into an order which is supposedly an we read of the "third degree" being ap- order of culture and brotherhood— pHed by the poHce. We read of most fraternity. Strange fraternity that, when terrible crimes committed by individuals the brothers for no reason at all torture whose sadistic tendencies have reached those who are coming into the brother- a stage beyond control. All over the land hood. It is, after all, but the sadistic of America, we have concerted and defi- tendency which is in too many, some say nite cruelty practiced each year. It may in all, to some degree coming out. The seem a light thing to some men in col- torture is for the pleasure of seeing the lege fraternities that a pledge breaks cheek pale and the body wince. It is not down under the strenuous "hell week," for justice, or for discipline, or for the faints under the ingenious forms of tor- good of the victims or the order. We ture which are applied, sickens, and goes might as well be truthful. It is for the to the hospital. They may refer to the satisfaction of those who inflict it. pledge contemptuously as a weakling. The rough part of initiation is of When he dies, as does actually happen ancient origin—so ancient that it might at times, the nation is aroused, the epi- have been cast aside with our other sav-

sode is explained and deplored, and the age ways, one would think. Youths of

situation is hushed. the old days had to be initiated into the actu- tribe fasting and weaponless into Could we believe that there was ; go

ally the need for these sufferings of the forest ; undergo tests of physical en- mock initiation and "hell week," there durance, and so on. In later days, knights might be some excuse. Even the veriest had to prove themselves by deeds of savage used to see the need for physi- prowess before winning their spurs. cally strong and powerful members of Why do we hold to these ancient ideas,

the tribe; if a lad could not endure the although we have driven out all that initiation ceremonies, and perished, it went with them? Today, fraternities im- was as well. The tribe had to survive pose fasting, or worse, the eating of by the cruel law of the survival of the wretched food; they force sleepless

fittest only. But we are not living in a nights ; they order long tramps, futile savage day, nor in a physical society. quests, not to mention the many new Men nowadays live by their brains more and "civilized" methods of torture, than by their brawn. Particularly is this which they apply in secret behind closed true of college men. A college is sup- and locked doors and drawn shades.

posedly a place to fit a man to take his Some of these are humiliating and de- place intellectually and spiritually in a grading in the extreme, to a young man world where the mind, heart, and soul of any refinement, and deny any of the of the man, rather than his body, are culture for which this generation stands. driving forces. Why, then, the need In speaking of the effect upon the moral cruelly to subject the body to sufferings side of a boy, I refer to the book This which are of horrible effect on mind and Pure Young Man, by Irving Fineman, soul? formerly an instructor in this university. In this matter of rough initiation, the In this book he tells of a boy who was so fraternities deny our civilization, and disgusted with the ordeal of "hell week" cast out our culture. They make a physi- that he broke his pledge the last day. cal ordeal the ceremony for initiation Husky young men go through very

[2] oK / I

well, usually; but not so the weaker. would go far in changing this attitude.

The more delicately made, not infre- It is with regret that I say, "Hell Week quently the more brainy, better, more is not permanently abolished." I feel valuable members of society, cannot that pledges should not be treated as stand the trial. Mentally, we should be slaves, but as men ; they should not be far ahead of the ancient day of tortures beaten into submission, but be made to to prove one's physical fitness for in- understand that their pledgeship is a clusion within the tribe. Yet fraternities test period to see if they are morally and still adhere to the obsolete theory. mentally, rather than physically, worthy Much of the opposition to fraternities of joining the fellowship. Let the pad- which exists today on the part of the dles and other instruments of torture college, the public, and the parents, is be hung on the walls as mementos to the due to "hell week." Its abolishment days of savagery in the fraternity.

Traveling with Books Walter Wormser

Theme 1, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 EARLY in the morning of a brilliant book, wild thyme was growing down to July day the Scilly Islands came into the edge of a crystal stream. Ferns and view a little to the south of our course, mosses lined the bank in patterns so ar- and we could see the great waves break- tistic that to tread upon them would be ing into flying masses, and long wreaths sacrilege, though I suppose the animal of silver foam, on their grim shores and folk who lived near this stream did so in their rock-bound chasms. Yet a little without compunction. The whirligigs while and the steep cliffs of Cornwall were now sporting in the sun, going glimmered into the prospect, and then round and round in circles, forever mov- came the double towers of the Lizard ing, forever drawing circular ripples Light, and we knew that our voyage was that scintillated like dew just formed. accomplished." I, too, sitting back in Pussy-willows, soft and fuzzy, rose in my deep armchair, knew that my voyage golden spires against desolate ledges of was accomplished, knew that upon clos- cold, grey stone which were being con- ing the cover of this narration I closed a tinually washed—at day by the splashing delightful adventure. stream, at night by the shadowy moon.

Sunken mid the leather cushions, I Close by, a tiny, modest wren rustling had traveled in the sleepy stillness of an in the leaves, looked up toward the sun

English glade, conscious of a feeling of when the clouds that had covered it un- peace and comfort which is the first sen- furled, and returned to her lonesome in- sation of the old armchair traveler who dustry. Far over the hills the wind- comes again to familiar scenes through blown ripple was running toward the the pages of a friendly book. It was horizon, but whether it reached it or not, cold outside my window, but within my I cannot say, for this journey of the

[3] 7^>

mind in these delightful moments, was regretted ending my literary journey so over. soon. Back in England a forest brook Back in my armchair, close to the cold was brawling past grey ledges; outside windows, I reflected on the vision that my window a shivering runt of a man had been given me by these pages. I was selling roasted chestnuts.

The Disputed Bone of Europe

L. K. Offenbacker

Theme 8, Rhetoric 11, 1933-34

T IKE a pack of snarling dogs, milling and France Austria has broken and ^ about and snatching at a bone, but crumpled under the destructive impact

afraid to seize it because of the hate and of the last world war to a mere fifth rate bared fangs of the other dogs, the na- power, unable to support herself, and tions of Europe growl at each other over sustained only by the jealous contribu- a little strip of mountainous, unselfsup- tions of foreign powers, who dread the porting country about the size of Pana- daj- when one of them, alone, shall comma and having a population about equal pletely control her. Poor and broken

to that of New York City. Such is Aus- she is, but, nevertheless, she is im-

tria today. Once the prime power of portant ; for, in fact, the future of Aus-

the world, far overshadowing England tria is the future of the world.

[4] o«. r I

Glance at your map and you will see dividing the Slavs and always prepared that Austria lies in the eastern Alps, be- to crush, and Italian control means that tween Germany and Italy, Switzerland the post war menace of the Italian would and Hungary, and Jugo-Slavia and hold his country in a vice of steel, Czecho-Slovakia—cutting into the plains squeezing from both north and south; of Hungary, Germany, and Italy—at to Horty, admiral without a navy or a the cross roads of Europe, north and port, Italian, German, Czecho-Slavian, or south, and east and west. Through the Jugo-Slavian control of Austria menaces center of the country, also, flows the Hungary, brother of woe with Austria, main artery of communication and trans- and might even submerge the Magyar

portation between east and west, the nationality ; and even Dr. Edmund Schul- Danube, another fact which makes her thess, as he gazes upon the beauties of position strategic. The delicate balance the snowcapped peaks of Switzerland, of this position is full of ominous bod- wonders whether a tidal wave sweeping ing to the several heads of European over Austria might not also engulf his powers: to Hitler, sitting in the silence own country. Thus each stands by, sus- of his bare, lofty office, Austria means piciously, determined that if he cannot control of the approach to the east and possess, no one else shall. contact with Hungary, six and a half And how stands Austria herself? In million more Germans added to his sway, a fermenting witch's caldron of politics and a personal triumph for himself and which is threatening to boil over at the nation ; to Mussolini, softly playing every flutter of an eyelid, Austria is too his violin among the remnants of ancient weak and too cowed to do anything glory, the German control of Austria but wait for the nod of the gods to de- means the Teutonic foe knocking once cide her fate. Out of the welter of po- more at the door of Italy—a foe who litical strife to the death, however, has again and again has invaded and plun- emerged a figure who has become the dered Italy and who at one time crushed idol of American newspaper correspond- the great Roman civilization under bar- ents. Once having secured the premier- barian feet ; to Paul-Boncour, sipping ship, Engelbert Dollfuss has been able to his French wine under the shadow of hang on only by sheer determination. the Eiffel Tower, German or Italian con- Because he dissolved a squabbling trol of Austria means the strengthening Reichsrat on a minor technicality, re- of an enemy power and the threatening fused to recall it, forbade the holding of France, directly, by placing her allies of any elections, suppressed opposing in an embarrassing position ; to Benes, newspapers, put any enemies of the dic- meditating on new ways of suppressing tatorship into concentration camps, and German nationalism in Czecho-Slovakia, punished opponents even with death, he German control of Austria places a sin- has managed to control the government ister halfmoon of united Germans and to secure enormous loans from around Bohemia like an iron hand chok- France so that he could retain his power ing at the life pulse of the nation; to and keep Austria in status quo. Dollfuss,

Alexander, astride his rocky throne of however, to put it rather tritely but ef- the South Slavs, German control means fectively, is sitting upon a volcano. Only that the pre-war menace of the Teuton a few weeks ago he had to surrender a would again be in its former position, little to the Italian-influenced Heimwehr

[5] — ;

(home-guards) and make their leader, trade balance has been against her ever Major Fey, vice-chancellor. Every day since the partition following the war. new Nazi "outrages" are committed Sustained only by the "loans" of France, swastika banners are found floating from England, and the United States, which, church towers, swastika emblems painted of course, can never be repaid as long on the streets, on lamp posts, and even as she consumes more than she produces, on government buildings: these daring Austria is a veritable beggar among the acts are perpetrated, although a person nations. Before the war Austria had is thrown into jail for the mere pos- used the agricultural products of Hun- session of such an emblem or for having gary (who now has an over abundance) a belief in national socialism ; and to top and the raw minerals and raw products it all, Doll fuss recently received a list of Bohemia (who now is suffering from of 1,250,000 names of persons who de- a surplus), for which she exchanged her manded his removal from office. The manufactured goods. Now, cut oft' from real secret of his success, however, is her food and raw materials, Austria is that he is a stabilizing influence on the only a destitute country with merely her whole Austrian political mess: the So- scenery and her history; and her only cialists and the Heimwehr are bitter ene- hope of recovery lies without the boun- mies of the Nazis; the Nazis and the daries of her own state. Heimwehr both demand the destruc- Several proposals have been submit- tion of the Socialist Party ; and both the ted to alleviate the many ills of this nu- Nazis and the Socialists hate the Heim- cleus of a once proud empire. Much dis- wehr. A three-cornered fight by three cussed in some circles is the Danubian different European forces — France, Confederation, which would consist of Czecho-Slovakia, and Jugo-Slavia, who Austria, Hungary, Czecho-Slovakia, and

support the Socialists ; Germany, who, Jugo-Slavia. From an economic view- of course, supports the Nazis ; and Italy, point, perhaps, this union would be best who lends her weight to the Heimwehr but, from a racial, lingual, historical, and —is dividing Austria into camps of national viewpoint, such a union is an bitter hate. Who the victor will be, time impossibility, because of the fierce racial and extra-Austrian union alone will tell. and cultural clashes that would ensue That some solution of the Austrian between the Latins, the Slavs, the Mag- problem must be found is self evident to yars, and the Germans. The union would the economists as well as to the politi- fail before it had fairly begun. Austria cians. Vienna, once the proud, cultured and Hungary, also, would not even en- capital of a great empire, has sunk to tertain the thought of such a union with- the leadership of a state which cannot out territorial concessions, while the vic- even feed the people of its chief city. tor nations have resolved to wage war

Although Austria is noted for her cul- rather than to concede an inch of con- ture and her craftsmen, she is no longer quered territory. Another sort of union a cultural center and her manufactures —between Austria and Hungary—would have declined tremendously, because she be of benefit to both countries. Czecho- has no natural resources and her rocky slovakia and Jugo-Slavia, however, soil does not even produce enough to would never permit such a union, be-

feed those who till it. So Austria must cause of their fear that the strong power import, although she cannot export. Her created between them would become a

6] menace to their own nationality. Al- Such is the muddle of central Euro- though Mussolini has threatened to in- pean politics. The state that finally gets

vade Austria, he is not likely to do so, the ascendency in Austria, be it Italy, because his gains would be slight com- Germany, or one of the Slavic States, pared to his losses, both political and will have the key to the European situa-

economic, but he would like to control tion in its hands, but no one nation will her from within. The plan that is secure Austria without the violent oppo- favored by the Austrians themselves and sition of the rest—a state of affairs would long ago have been consummated which may lead, perhaps, to another except for the treaty of Versailles, which world war. expressly forbids Austrians to unite with

Germany, is the consolidating of the Bibliography land of the Germans (Deutschland) with Devere, Allen, "The World's Stake in Aus- its eastern kingdom (Osterreich). This tria," North American Reviciv, 236, (Sept. 1933), 231-237. union is logical on racial, lingual, eco- Germain, V., Austria of Today, New York, nomic, cultural, and historical grounds: Macmillan Co., 1932. GuNTHER, John, "Will Austria Go Fascist?" both Austria and Germany are Nordic- Nation (N.Y.), 136, (April 1933), 393- Alpine by race, German in speech, trans- 95. HuDECZEK, K.\RLE, The Economic Resources alpine in culture, recipients of each of Austria, translated by Julia F. Fie- other's goods, and have the same history. beger, Vienna, Manz, 1922. Krebs, Norbert, Landerkunde der oster- of Austria desire the union; The Nazis reichischen Alpe, Stuttgart, Engelhorn, the Heimwehr desires it ; the Socialists 1913. Lauchlin, Clara Elizabeth, So You're Going desired it till Hitler came into power, to Germany and Austria, Boston, Mifflin, and, no doubt, could again be made to 1930. Mowrer, Paul Scott, Balkani~ed Europe, desire it, if the German dictator offered New York, E. P. Dutton and Co., 1912,

them good terms ; and, finally, the Ger- pp. 23-26, pp. 171-178. Pasvolsky, Leo, Economic Nationalism of the themselves, desire it. Were it not mans Danuhian States, New York, Macmillan for the treaty of Versailles and the fear Co., 1928. Schwoner, Alfred, IVie Osterreich von bank- of the French, Italians, and Slavs that erott und hungern zu retlen ist, Wien, Germany would become too powerful, 1920. Seton-Watson, Robert William, The South- Austria and Germany would today be ern Slai' Question, London, Constable and one united state. Co., Ltd., 1911.

[7] 1^^

Ring Lardner Milton Sachs

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

FEW short weeks ago there passed ing, ever youthful contribution. The nar- A from this sphere the soul of Ring ration of his trips abroad, his sagas of

Lardner, and as it passed, it chuckled. sport, and his whimsical philosophy have Ring Lardner, author, sports writer, and remained to an appreciative world. humorist extraordinary, had bid goodbye Ring Lardner's biting humor, his terse to the rough, tough world which he loved urban vocabulary, and the joyful belly so fervently, and whose weaknesses he laughs contained in each page of his knew so well. writing endear him to us as an author, But before he died, he had lived: his and he lives in our minds as a shrewd, life had been packed brimful of thrills, precocious child, exposing the weak- adventures, smiles, and tears. And these nesses of his parents, and making them experiences he had left to us, an undy- join in the laughter.

America's Wandering Children Cameron Brown

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 ONE of the most pathetic and deplor- be going somewhere in search of better able results of the present world- conditions.

wide economic depression is the throw- These pitiable creatures are for the ing of thousands of youths into the most part from seventeen to twenty-one world to shift as they are able. Ap- years old, and are in their present condi- proximately two hundred thousand of tion because there was no longer any America's younger generation are today money for food for them at home. All wandering aimlessly about our land. they could do was to leave. The usual They travel from city to city, stealing or story of one of these homeless waifs, begging the necessities of life. As an when questioned by the police following army they are fairly evenly distributed apprehension after a robbery, is: "My throughout the country, with a general father had not worked for three years, migration to the Southern states as and the only means of support for the winter comes on and to the Northern seven of us was my sister's salary of in the summer. During the warm $22 a week. When she lost her job, months, however, they line the main there was not enough money to feed us

arteries of travel throughout the whole all ; so in order to lighten the burden, I of the country in hope of a ride to the left home early one morning to go I

next town or state ; and the summer didn't know where. I have been gone freight trains are covered with young since last January. Last night I was so

transients "riding the rails" merely to hungry, I just had to eat. Honest,

[8] mister, I won't do it again. Please let me we met him on the railroad right-of-way. go!" The story is invariably the same As it was sundown, we asked him to with perhaps slight alterations, and is join us, for he was alone and we had usually true. some extra food. After eating, we In the summer of 1932 a friend and I slowly drew from him the narration of decided to join the ranks of these for- his travels and his philosophy of life. gotten children for a few months. In He was at first listless and unresponsive, their lingo we were "deluxe," because but as the evening wore on, he forgot our shoes had soles and we could pro- some of his troubles and told us of duce fifteen cents or a good cigarette. his present life. He was indeed a pic- We set out from Chicago in the middle turesque sight in the flickering light of of Jul)', wearing our oldest clothes, with our small fire. His hair had not seen two purposes in view: first, to see all a comb for weeks, and his clothes and of the country we could in three months, body were filthy. But still a spark of his and second, to meet and know some of former self remained, and I suppose the these transients and b\' living and travel- proximity of two boys of his own age ing with them to see how they actually made this spark glow brighter. He told fared. We accomplished both ends in of leaving home in 1930 when his father our four thousand mile journey through- had died, leaving him an orphan. He out the \\'est, and were even more suc- and his brother left together but were

cessful than we had anticipated. We separated in Chicago ; he had not heard encountered and made acquaintances from him since, nor had he ever heard with a large number of these lost souls a word from any of his relatives. He —men, women, girls, boys, and even had roamed the country and had been whole families—trudging with heavy in all but three states of the Union. At hearts along the highwaj'S or lying list- times he had been able to earn a few lessly in the parks or on the outskirts of dollars—once in a fish cannerA^ in Seat- the towns. tle, in a mill in San Antonio, in a paper With few exceptions, the youths we factory in St. Louis, and at other odd talked and lived with were fairly well jobs he had been able to pick up—but educated and seemed to have come origi- lately his only means of remaining alive nally from families of the middle classes. had been b}^ stealing. He laughed when he They were not actually uncouth and spoke of his robber}' ventures, and when kept as clean as their life permitted. One we pressed him for an explanation, he chap whom we met in Kammerer, Wy- suddenly became serious and gave vent oming, impressed me immensely. By to his communistic feelings and his this time my friend and I looked, hatred of the wealthy class in general. dressed, and talked just as these outcasts, He told of spending countless nights in and were accepted by them as members jail and being turned loose in the morn- of their own clan. Consequently we had ing with the warning to be out of town no trouble in making their acquaintance. in two hours or go to jail for thirt}' days This fellow had originally lived in on a vagrancy charge. We asked him Boston and had been wandering for two what he intended to do now. He said years. He had just left Salt Lake City, that he didn't know, but would be on the the home of the hospitable iMormons, at morning train for Laramie, where he the request of the police department, and had heard there were some jobs in the

:9] wheat fields. We curled up and slept in on the road by their appearance. One an empty box-car that night, and in the boy we met on the fringe of Omaha had morning our friend was gone, without so just started out and thought he would

much as an adieu. have a great time ; we met him a month Often we would meet two or three later in Cheyenne's Sally (Salvation lads of our own age, and spend the eve- Army) Camp, and he was a physical and ning together swapping hard-luck stories mental wreck, trying to get home as in a deserted "jungle," the stopping-off quickly as he could. Many have no homes camp of professional bums. Tales of to return to and continually roam the chain-gang servitude often made a cold country in search of work and susten- shiver run up and down my back, and ance, always thinking that the next town

although I was inclined at first to doubt will offer a chance for them to start

these tales, great scars on the ankles of working ; but very seldom does it turn these poor lads bore out their stories. out as they hope. Breaking gravel, shackled together for At the end of the summer my friend

sixty days, on Tennessee roads was the and I returned home with thanks in our penalty for being caught on trains in that hearts that we had a place we could go

state. Short prison sentences of a few to and call home. It seemed to me that months was the usual penalty in the the United States owed these unfortu- North for stealing, but in the South and nates a chance to climb out of their rut Southwest, vagrancy was justification and again become normal citizens. The enough for giving these unfortunates a government seemed to have just jail sentence. One sandy-haired boy of awakened to this need and had author- not more than sixteen, whom we met on ized the expenditure of some thirty- the outskirts of Denver, told of standing seven millions of dollars to be used to- beside a colored bum who was shot off ward the welfare of these transient boys a freight train in Georgia. and girls. With this money, shelters and Sickness, accident, and even deatli are food stations were to be erected and often the fate of these wanderers, with maintained, although none were in evi-

no one to care for them if ill nor to dence during my travels. Salvation mourn them when dead, as but few car- Army camps and local bread lines were ry any identification to show who they the only aid given by outsiders to this are or where they came from. The day wandering army. California has made before we arrived at Evanston, Wyom- the largest step toward permanently ing, a young fellow had been decapitated helping it. That state has established a under the wheels of a freight he was try- work farm where transients are taken ing to "flip" when the yard detective for a month and taught a simple, useful chased him oflf as the train was starting. trade. It has been partially successful

We often met young men with their but it is only one small beacon on a clothes in tatters and their shoes practi- tremendous sea of darkness. Connec- cally soleless. Bloodshot eyes and hollow tions are made with the families of the cheeks told of the ravages of disease and transients whenever possible and they hunger, resulting from the miserable are sent home. This step seems to be one lives they had led. Few were in good of the most logical, as conditions are im- physical condition, and one could almost proving and there would, in all proba- guess the length of time they had been bility, be room for them at home once

[lo; again. Also in order to stop the con- clear itself as economic conditions im- tinual wandering of these youths, the prove, but until then, it is my hope that government is now attempting to enroll everything will be done to help Amer- them in C.M.T.C. camps and reforesta- ica's wandering children to get back to tion units. The latter have met with normal as quickly as possible. much success among the older boys. The companionship, good food, clothing, and Bibliography lodging instills a new spirit and fire in "Boys Going Nowhere," Neiv Republic, them that was so lacking in all those 74 (1933), 92-S. we met. "How Shall We Deal with Delinquent Adolescent and Wandering Youths?" Ameri- In all probability this situation will can City, 48 (1933), 70.

Life in an Information OfiBce Lucy CoE

Theme 7, Rheto ric II, 1933-34

'"PHE door is pushed open hurriedly, for quantity copies of our publications.

^ and an agricultural student is impati- We telephone the mailing room to bring ently asking where his class is to meet. up a circular from "reserves." A depart-

Both the "Bell" and the "Automatic ment head is inquiring the quickest way University" telephones are ringing simul- to get to Louisville, Kentucky, or At- taneously. A farm adviser or a voca- lanta, Georgia, or some other place tional agricultural instructor is asking where he is to be the main speaker of

{HI ! —— !

the evening. Invariably everybody comes fruit and the circular on swine raising.

at once ; then there is a lull. I am quite confident that the circular A lull? Yes, there is one from lack of could not be used in a horticulture class visitors, but otherwise, no. The mail Finally, after thumbing through his en- a couple of hundred letters a day— is to tire notebook, he finds his class notes be answered. Filing is to be done, re- and, attempting to decipher his hiero-

ports are to be made, and so on, end- gh-phics, decides it is a bulletin he wants.

lessly day after day. Such is life in an I look at him rather quizzically and won- information office! der just how many hours of sleep he You have heard of information of- had the night before. He hurries out

fices ; or perhaps you have stepped into without even a "thank you." Now, I

one, say once or twice in your life, but have another student — the kind that

I doubt if you have spent any length of would make any girl, or admiring time in one. Can you possibly spare a mother, look twice. A tall, handsome few minutes of your valuable time and lad, dressed in an officer's military uni- visit one of our campus information form, steps into the office. He removes

offices? Just try it and then see what his hat, gives me a winning smile, and

your idea of such an office really is. asks for Bulletin 374. Then in a per-

One of the first things T learned after fectly "chawming" voice, he thanks me

I began work in this office was that I and steps out of the office. Oh, my thrill

should always wear a sincere smile and for the day is over!

not a forced, make-believe one. I was Please, dear observer, do not mis- to meet new people every day, and they understand my emotions. I keep my

in turn expected the best of service. But head, and to prove it, I will introduce

oh, it was fascinating ! It made me much you to another personage. Perhaps a

happier in my everyday life to realize tall, thin, and suave-looking gentleman, that I was really helping people. The with a decidedly English appearance,

responses I received bj^ being pleasant enters the office ; he introduces himself and accommodating to people in the as a professor of Agriculture in the office made me want to acquire a similar Agricultural School at Cambridge, Eng- personality in my social life outside the land. Frequently other lands are repre-

office. And I must tell you it truly pays sented. I remember a short, stocky, to go forth into this cold, hurried world broadshouldered, heavily-mustached man

with a little sunshine. Just try it once from Russia, who spent an entire Satur- if you haven't—and see what a differ- day morning in the office. Some of our ent world you step into most fascinating visitors are the South But, I must take 3'ou back into the In- Africans. Our South American neigh- formation Office and give you a little bors show equal interest, and they are "info." First, I want you to meet one among the office's most frequent foreign of the most frequent of inquirers—the callers. Each one in turn tells us in flat- student. He comes in at all hours of tering terms how grateful he is to us the day. Maybe he is in a hurry, or "kind Americans" for our helpful publi- has an exam "on the mind," for he cations and how he hopes to be able to absent-mindedly asks for publication repay us some day. number 319. Which does he wish Now coming back to the Americans, bulletin or circular? The bulletin is on we have more interesting people to meet.

[12] !

There is the farm adviser, who works ceives a letter—or maybe two. What dihgently for his country ; the land ap- would you do if you received 150 a praiser, who is going to help the farmer day? Uncle Sam never forgets me. Each

appraise his land ; the high school in- morning he delivers to my desk, letters, structor, whose aim is to carry agri- letters, and more letters. The attention

cultural knowledge to his pupils ; and the I must give this mail forms an important

University professor, who has still more element in the routine of my daily work. to learn—all find our publications the Each morning I go through the mail, oasis of their desert, when in search of separating those letters which we are knowledge on agricultural subjects. capable of answering from those which You have met many people in my of- must be referred to professors in vari- fice, but as yet you have not met the tax- ous departments for more technical ex- paying farmers. Strangely enough, planation and answers to inquiries. Many fewer farmers than men of other classes of the letters are requests for agricul- call at our office ; but those who do come tural publications and can be answered are usually of the better educated and by form letters. A well-organized sys- more intelligent group, who wish to contem, such as we have, helps us to give fer with a university professor on some this mail proper and immediate atten- problem. Occasionally a perplexed tion, and within a few short hours those farmer (sometimes with his wife and letters are answered ; and the unseen children) will come to the office. Some foreigner, or student, professor, or of them bring a chicken to be observed, farmer will have his question or ques- and often I have the pleasure of ob- tions answered. serving that chicken. Maybe their chick- Humor often finds its way into our ens have a lazy appearance, get weak- letters. I must show you a script from kneed, and are dying. I could tell them a recent one. A gentleman is asking that the chickens probably have coccidiosis, his name be added to our mailing— list, but rather than shock them with the and incorporates in his letter "Please word, I send them to the Animal Path- remove my father's name from your ology Laboratory, where the chickens mailing list. He recently passed away may be tested. Sometimes an unknown and neglected writing you." What negli- weed is infesting the farmer's alfalfa gence—on the writer's part field, and then I send him to our weed As I glance over the addressed enve- specialist. One afternoon we spent about lopes, I often wish I could put a bit of an hour giving a farmer helpful infor- my small knowledge on business letter mation and some of our publications. writing into our replies. It is a wonder About two hours after he had left the we get many of the letters; some mail office, he returned, and what should he clerks must truly be wizards at tran- have for us but a large basket filled with scribing addresses. Many of the en- mushrooms! That was his "thank you." velops have "University of Illinois" writ-

What a pleasure it is to help one and all ten on them, and no further address. — the tall handsome student or the .Some letters give one plenty of experi- troubled farmer. ence in learning the foibles of the human Not only do we help them personally, animal as shown in his penmanship. but through the mails. Every individual I cannot stress too much the experience gets an unexpressed thrill when he re- I have gained through my work in the

[13] 50

Information Office. Such an office is in- the finer qualities of personality which deed a laboratory in which one can de- are necessary in making the best contacts velop not only his business and execu- with people both inside and outside of

tive abilities, but where he can perfect the office.

Pensions for the Aged Paul A. Sims

Theme 4, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 ONE QUESTION of major im- Friends of the idea for old-age pen- portance before the people of the sions believe that a greater national ef-

United States today is: Shall we or ficiency can be attained by its adoption, shall we not adopt the policy, already in since each rising generation would be use in man}' other nations, of giving freed from the confining shackles of the pensions to our aged dependent citizens? burden of support of their parents, thus There have been many voices raised in enabling them to rise to greater heights favor of the proposition, and there have of success, and to make greater strides

been many who have tried to cry it of progress than is now possible ; also

down. However, probably because of the that the measure would make it possible fact that a majority of our citizens have for these venerable citizens to retain no decided opinion on the matter at all, their sense of independence—one of the

it has never been put before the people most inalienable rights of an American for a decision. citizen.

[14] Opponents of the proposition set forth we, as human beings, even if a majority the important and vahd objections that of the aged should have blemished pasts, the government of the United States is take upon ourselves the responsibility already heavily burdened by taxation de- of playing God, and allow a few honor- mands, that should the plan be adopted, able unfortunates to suffer that we may there would be an almost uncheckable visit what we believe to be justice upon Vk^aste due to the immense added distri- the rest? butionary costs, and that its adoption It is true that the taxpayers of the would deprive the youth of our nation of nation are already heavily burdened. It one great incentive for striving for is equally true that much of the existent achievement, the sentiment, expressed in burden is unnecessary, due to a stub- a popular song of the past season, of bornly persistent use of antiquated forms making life comfortable for the "old of legal, administrative, and govern- folks." mental procedure. Is it not possible that Unquestionably there are points on the adoption of the proposed pension both sides of the question worthy of con- plan might lead to a fairer and much sideration. Certainly no one desires to more simplified and modernized form see our aged citizens in want, living their of governmental financial expenditure? remaining days in squalor and misery, Even if it did not, in the interests of waiting only for ultimate dissolution to justice and humanity, and to uphold the bring peace at last to their tired old bodies principles of equality and fraternal inter- and their aching hearts. Surely no one dependence upon which our government feels that because he has failed to amass is founded, are we not as responsible for enough during his years of competence protection of these people from their to provide for his later life, he should be natural enemies during and from senility required to take the consequences ; or as we are for their protection from the that such proverty is proof that he has possible military enemies of actual war- been wasteful and extravagant, and has fare? These, too, are surely questions dissipated his own opportunities. deserving consideration. We accept the The problem would be much different theory that criminals should be dealt if we all lived to become eligible for with in a humane and understanding these old-age pensions. But nature has fashion, but we have not, yet, adopted taken care that the numbers of persons an equally humanitarian viewpoint in reso eligible are rather few in comparison gard to our aged and dependent citizens to the numbers of those who would be who were too honorable to avail them- required to pay their bit into the fund selves of the only comfortable existence of the pension. Possibly many of those we now proffer them. who would be benefited might be un- Of course, we have charit\'—both the worthy, might conceivably deserve governmental and the organized private squalor and despair and hopelessness. types. But what sort of democracy is

But should we not be humane, even to it that forces once-independent, normally such as these? Dare we, as citizens of prideful people into the breadlines and this republic, and as possible future un- into the beggar's cringing attitude to- fortunates ourselves, refuse to care for wards life? And as for whether or not those who are now only in such a plight it is an added incentive to our youth for as we may yet find ourselves in? Can achievement to realize that their parents'

[15: comfort depends upon them, should we sions to citizens past the age of sixty-five

penaHze those parents if their children who are needy. Surely from some of are not of the stuff from which magnates these systems we can adopt a policy are made? Let us put our aged into at which, with proper improvisations will be least the class of faithful horses and suited to our own peculiar needs and dogs. Of course, there are two schools theories. of thought there: some people keep them America has ever been among the first in comfort, while others prefer to shoot to recognize, foster, and promulgate the

them. But even being shot is less a dis- development of civilizing and humani- grace than being forced into an alms- tarian creeds and manifestations. Let us,

house, and certainly it is less painful now that another great question of "to than long years of cold, hunger, and dis- be or not to be" has been presented, sift comfort for both mind and body. the merits of the proposition and after Foreign governments have set us ex- due deliberation and discussion—without amples of several ways in which to pro- which no question can be solved to the vide these pensions for the aged. Ger- complete satisfaction of and justice to a many, France, and Sweden have a com- republic—have the matter put before the pulsory weekly payment plan, by which people for acceptance or rejection, as the employee gives up a part of his wage, their collective conscience and principles

the employer adds to it an equal sum, may dictate. Should this be done, having and the government, when the time faith that the fundamental American

comes to administer the pension, adds belief in "life, liberty, and the pursuit of more. Belgium, Italy, and Canada have happiness" applies even to those who systems that are somewhat alike in that have become too aged and infirm to con- the government adds to the savings of tinue to assert themselves, we who are the citizen. Denmark gives an allowance convinced of the merits of the plan sin- to any citizen who, at the age of sixty, cerely believe that the result will be a has never been a criminal and has never sweeping and almost unanimous accept- shirked work. Australia, New Zealand, ance and endorsement for the adoption and England provide free weekly pen- of pensions for the aged.

Sisters under the Skin Dorothy Deal

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

piCKING a book at random from the was an English writer of the early nine-

* shelf, I glanced casually at the title. teenth century. That date suggested an Pride and Prejudice—that was not very England of quiet elegance and a leisurely suggestive of the book's contents. Per- manner of life. At least, it would be haps the author's name—oh, Jane Aus- a change from the modern novel of to- ten. Burrowing mentally in search of day's noisy hustle and bustle. So I read any lingering knowledge of high school the book. literature, I unearthed the fact that she Closing it after perusal of its three

[16 3 o^ I

hundred and forty-nine pages of small would probably never marry, but would print, I felt quite astonished. I had been devote her life to a profession. Today transported mentally into an English the women of her type are filling busi- home of a past centur\' and found had ness offices and filling them with great breathing myself the dull respectable at- efficiency. mosphere of the middle class whose In contrast to the level-headed Eliza- limited lives were pleasantly monoto- beth Bennet is the flighty Lydia. Her nous. Now I returned to the twentieth counterpart is everywhere today. Last century in the United States and was winter in Taylorville when the soldiers surrounded again by the hectic atmos- came in to quell disorder among the phere generated by a people who are miners, three-fourths of the girls were doing everything and doing it at reckless Lj'dia Bennets, fluttering foolishl}' to the speed. attraction of a man in a uniform. A girl However, the momentous thing was who graduated with me, Annabel but not the contrast of life in one century — that is a story to itself. with life in a later one, but the fact that Looking about, I can point out Mr. the people were the same. I met Mrs. Darcy, Mr. Bmgley, Mary Bennet, Lady Bennet only to find that I already knew Catherine, Maria Lucas and so her. You may find her in any com- on through the list of all the individuals of munity ; she is a common tj'pe. I know this novel. The characters of Jane Aus- an Elizabeth Bennet ; she is a friend who was my classmate in high school. Al- ten's delineation are real people ; their though the former expressed herself in duplicates may be discovered in any so- the "King's English" and the latter ex- ciety. presses herself in the modern argot, they She put down on paper the persons are essentially the same strong-minded she knew and fitted them into the back- young women. ground from which she drew them. Her Charlotte Lucas did the only thing a novel, Pride and Prejudice, is a true pic- woman of her time could do—married ture of the England in which she lived, to her advantage, whereas today she for it is sketched from life.

17] ;

''Enough Rope"— Dorothy Parker Carol Rolph

Book Report, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

]\^ ISS PARKER is the most modern write for her own satisfaction rather ^ ' *^ of contemporaries, not so much for than for effect. I get the impression that her subject matter as for her style and she cares nothing for the opinions of mental outlook. She writes "vers de critics and that she pays no attention to societe," which would better be called poetic rules. Her unruliness brings an flapper verse. She is ironical, flippant, unstudied effect that is quite refreshing. tart, impudent, bad tempered, shocking, She is, however, very much of a sophis- gruesome yet listen with delight. and ; we I to give no other im- ticate ; and mean She makes fun of herself and of life in pression, for in her sophistication lies general. As she herself says: inseparable her charm. She says what she pleases, is, however, her thumb and nose. She and we listen attentively. capable of producing deep poetic beauty. I believe her poem "Inventory" illus- has an uncanny way of put- Miss Parker trates her characteristics better than any on paper and remain- ting true emotions other: subtle. special characteristic of ing A Four be the things I am wiser to know: her style is her use of the reverse twist Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: that is, a poem will seem to say one thing Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. until the last line, where the entire mean- Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, contentment, suiificient champagne. ing of the poem is changed. An example Three be the things I shall have 'til I die: of this is in the poem "Observation": Laughter, and hope, and a sock in the eye. around the park, If I don't drive This slightly ironical, slightly humor- I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, ous verse illustrates her bitterness to- I may get back my looks again. wards life in general, her flippancy, but If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much, underneath it all a deep truth which is But I shall stay the way I am, not painted. Therefore I say—if she is Because I do not give a damn. poet I (to borrow her ex- I know of no other poet who uses the not a good reverse twist quite so well. pression) am Babe Ruth. one thing that troubles Miss Parker is, I believe, quite sin- There is only cere in all her efforts. She shows her me: I wonder how her husband stands real reflections on life and seems to her.

The Spirit of My America Ellis Blair

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

; their IN considering the spirit of any great people ; their estimation of value group of people we are dealing with ignorance and their superstition ; their

consciousness ; their philosophy of a very abstract matter ; we are forced social to generalize upon something which is existence. inherently uncertain and variable. We At a nearby library table are two are analyzing the moral standards of a young people chatting and laughing.

[18! ;

They are the embodiment of a certain this great and worthy task ; beyond work part of our American spirit. What there was nothing. brought them here? What common The young American child takes great hopes, beUefs, and fears have they? Are pride in relating to his playmates the vast they more representative of the Ameri- amount of work he has done; he looks can spirit than the man who is blowing down upon those who cannot give proof the whistle of that distant locomotive, of similar accomplishments. In France or must all be considered in arriving or England this situation does not exist; at a true conception of this spirit? Can children have a more fatalistic attitude. we say that America has a spirit charac- While the average American works, teristically her own? If we believe she he works hard and carefully. Unlike the has, we must observe the various human European, he works for the sake of activities in which her people participate work and for the satisfaction which he we must go to the foundations of Amer- gets from overcoming. One must cer- ican life; there, and there only, we will tainly observe in America a lack of per- find the spirit which is truly American. spective which we might even call a lack To determine the true spirit of America, of sense of value. An American merchant therefore, we will analyze her social, will work feverishly to sell a large moral, intellectual, and religious life, re- amount of merchandize ; losses and gains membering all the while the great gulfs are parts of a game in which the great between appearance and reality, between accomplishment is to have the gains ex- theory and practice. ceed the losses. This man seldom thinks Americans have come to glorify work. of the ultimate significance of his occu-

This is a natural development from those pation, of the most truly valuable way principles upon which our country was of using his profits, or of the possibility established. Our founders were sickened of changing his ways. If Jones has built by the social inequality of the father- a larger plant, Jones is a success and to

lands ; they sought America as a great be respected as an ideal. Perhaps this and wonderful land in which all men philosophy of work is the best one in the would have equal right to happiness. end. History is continually showing us They had known the futility of hope in men who became dissatisfied with con- their homelands ; when they came to stant work and looked for happiness

America, they put all that behind ; they elsewhere, but they became really happy were going to work for a livelihood, and only when they found some work to do those who refused to work should not and did it well. As George Bernard eat. Shaw said recently in California, "As Modern business methods have made soon as you start wondering whether or possible the accumulation of great not you are happy, then you are un- wealth, but even most of those who happy." And, regardless of beliefs to know this luxury find life worthless and the contrary, the great aim of the aver-

uninteresting if they are prevented from age American citizen is to be contented, engaging in some form of work. Life and work, for him, means happiness. I could have been no different for Ameri- believe, however, that the present decade cans of today, for their ancestors were has seen an increasing tendency, at least

workers ; they were building for coming in American youth, to scorn work which

generations, and their hearts were in is mere drudgery. The widespread avail-

[19] ' I

ability of former luxuries has given our quences of measures which we are people an added appreciation of the forced to use in this "sink or swim" mix- values of leisure and of work which up. Our direct social contacts, however, commands interest. are much diflferent. Here the average

In one respect, Americans excel all American is religiously just ; moreover, other peoples of the globe. This is in he demands like consideration from his their desire for amusements, diversions, associates. I would class the above as and play. Americans want to work, but two very definite and distinct matters,

when their work is through, they are not but, except in extreme cases, the former

content to relax and wait for the next is well saturated with the spirit of the round of labor; their relaxation takes latter. In a primitive world, opportuni- the form of amusement. The theatre, ties for directly aiding one's fellow man the circus, amateur sports of all kinds appear continually, but our world is

and professional athletics, the radio, card much different. It is, I believe, signifi- games—these afford but a few of the cant that the average American citizen many pastimes which delight our people. of today is kind and considerate when We are building up a characteristic given his few opportunities. Although American sense of humor, one which is, men in general seem to be aware of noth- we think, worthy of duplication by less ing but personal gain, men in particular advanced peoples. Our judgment of are almost always found democratic and values demands humor; we refuse to sympathetic when they are in a position sanction boredom. It would seem that to render a human service or respect. Americans have observed the history of Perhaps the ever-present wholesomeness

progress and found in it very slow, cer- of our early ancestors' better traits has tain processes about which worry is to been underestimated in recent years. no avail. At least, we have no illusions The new science has been accepted about making vast improvements in and respected in America as in no other world culture. And so the average country. Our citizens understand the American works hard, plays often, wor- elimination of brute-strength as a de-

ries little, and sleeps less. termining factor. They understand also One of the best ways of determining the power of money and the hopeless- the spirit of any group of people is to ness of poverty. Perhaps some of them discover their moral standards. It is to know the thrill and satisfaction of ap- be regretted that American life takes too preciation and understanding. All these

little consideration of right and wrong. realizations mingle to more or less extent We have our religious groups whose in our average American's mind. We doctrines encourage consideration of the feel ourselves at the mercy of knowl-

rights of others; our country is founded edge; either we master some portion of

upon righteous principles, but no reason- it, or we accept obscurity. Even our re- ably intelligent person would contend spect for physical accomplishments is in know something that we practice this righteousness our becoming less ; one must busy industrial life. Our citizens would definite or politely excuse himself and not willingly wrong their fellow men, start learning something as soon as pos-

but modern commercial competition has sible. It is to be regretted that the de- made this indirectly necessary; we mand for knowledge has not extended to

simply try to overlook the real conse- goodness and beauty ; these are forgotten

[20: ;

to be reconsidered a little later in rela- can home. Our American wants this tion to the truth which one has mastered. little world of his own in which he can

Factual information is the fundamental live as in no other. He wants a few relatives close friends prerequisite ; goodness and beauty work and with whom into the picture more as attributes which and for whom he can work, talk, laugh, will enhance the personality and thus in- hope, and really live. He wants to serve crease the market-value of the man. others. He wants to share his life, his

Such is the type of man which modern successes, and his disappointments. He science tends to mould. Those who fail finds a small world there in which he to adjust themselves in all particulars can be a creative and formative force. are classed as "different" and looked Love becomes something real to him. upon as uncertain characters. Accomplishments are worth while and Americans are in earnest about learn- appreciated. He has a feeling of se- ing, regardless of what their individual curity and wholesome responsibility. interest may be. To some it may be a Most Americans seem to know that life necessary evil, to others a satisfaction can be real only when they have some- and joy, but we are going at it in our thing outside themselves for which to usual energetic way and, of course, tak- live. American women know that no ing the lead among nations. The world joys compare with those found in a may well look to America for advance- family circle. Other things go to make ment in facts and methods. Moreover, up the spirit of this country of ours, but with increased learning must surely come the family, with the things it stands for, an increased appreciation of the things is this spirit ; they are one and the same known. thing inseparable.

I do not believe that the average I would not say that American life or

American thinks much about the philoso- American family life is always joyous, phical differences and quarrels in re- beautiful, or satisfying, but it is the life ligious interpretations. He realizes the in which this great group of people finds existence of a divine force and believes itself ; it is everything to them, and they in a life after death. He is too busy in in turn have given it a spirit of devotion. this world to consider probable rewards It is new ; it is changing ; it is uncertain or punishments in the next. Religion, as it is often tragic. However, we have ac- such, is a very small item in his life. He cepted it as our lot in the circle of time; does that which seems right to him and we must make the most of it. We know knows he cannot do more. The great that we have an American spirit; our happiness which comes from serving citizens in Maine have a spirit similar to others is enough to assure him of the that of our citizens in California or any truth of goodness. The majesty of na- other place in our country. Our spirit ture gives him further proof of the seems to combine energy, enthusiasm,

truth of his faith ; he is satisfied with recklessness, curiosity, daring, determi-

God. Too many people have lived and nation, earnestness ; no one can say just died thus for him to be wrong. what it is, but we realize its presence

The true American spirit is exempli- and understand it as the vital part of the fied, as in no other place, in the Ameri- only life we know.

'21 / r

On Fishing James Hagen

Theme 2, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

r^ID YOU ever go down to a languid, sertation that carp fishing is a lazy and •l-^ sluggish stream, throw in a line, lie uneventful form of fishing indeed. That

on the bank, and read Homer or Horatio is not at all true. My uncle and I went Alger (a matter of literary preference) down to a small river near my home. while waiting patiently and unexcitedly The water was placid, the day warm,

for developments? That is fishing as the sun serene ; and just around a broad God meant man to fish. None of the bend in the river was a log jam formed expensive and complicated equipment of by the spring overflow. We reckoned, the expert angler is needed. A ten cent with expert precision, that here, surely, line, a cork, a hook, and a maple pole would be a school of fish, even though

you can cut yourseif are adequate ac- it was mid-summer. Within half an

cessories. For after all, what use has an hour my uncle caught two fine four- uncultured carp for the gaudy fly and the pound carp. But no fish deigned even

pretentious rod and reel ? The maple pole to nibble at my well-baited hook. This and cinnamon dough balls, which were was rather a reflection upon my ability, good enough for his ancestors, will satis- and I became a trifle agitated. Another fy his simple tastes. When a young hour passed. Suddenly I was awakened carp unsuspectingly nibbles and then gob- by a tug at my line. It was drawn tight. bles the savory bait, one nonchalantly The cork was jerked under. Every rises from a reclining to a sitting posi- muscle became taut, every nerve alert.

tion, carefully extracts the fish from the I could tell by the feel that he was a big water and the hook from the fish, re- one as he ran the line back and forth baits, and goes on with chapter four in front of me. He must not get away. wherein Rudolph pursues the beautiful A glint of grim determination came into Belinda. my eye. I actually stood up to make the The reader may gather from this dis- catch.

[22: *< /

American Serfdom Julius Richmond

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1933-34 THE article, "The Plantation System state the terms upon which these loans of Farming," which appeared in are granted. Despite the plantation the last issue of The Green Caldron, owner's magnanimity, his vaunted "busi- depicts the share-cropping system of ness ability" makes interest on loans take farming in glowing terms as an idealistic precedence over humanitarian considera- plan in which the wealthy plantation tions. Assuming that these loans were

owner plays the role of the philanthro- made on a non-interest basis, I still can- pist. In my opinion, the writer of this not see how the tenant could comfortably theme has either not taken the time to repay them since authoritative publica- acquaint himself with the facts concern- tions* inform me that many of the small ing this system of farming or has been tenant farmers of the South average be-

misled in his conception of it. I cannot low two hundred dollars per year for the see any of the supposed benefits that the work of themselves and their families. If small tenant farmer of the South has re- this sum can take care of family ex-

ceived. Since space will not permit me penses, debts, and other incidentals, I to suggest a solution for the existing must confess that the tenants of the evil, I will confine myself to exposing South have a very efficient method of

the erroneous conceptions which the budgeting. But if there is a shortage of article may have conveyed to the reader. funds, the writer suggests that the ten- After his comparison of feudalism ant earn money working by the day. with slavery, the author states that these This tenant farmer must indeed be an in-

institutions exist in a modified form to- genious fellow if he can find part-time day. Yet the mere existence of these in- employment in a land which has had stitutions in any form whatsoever cer- over ten million unemployed for the tainly cannot be considered an asset to past three years. a civilized people. It is true that one dif- Lastly, the article cites the little houses ference between the tenant farmer and (the best name I can find for them is the serf is that the tenant farmer has the shacks) of the tenants and the mansions liberty to move from the rented land at of the Southern aristocrats as being will. But, as the article points out, a "adapted to a more enlightened and tenant moving from his rented land re- humanitarian age." The contrast be- ceives no emolument for the crop he tween these two types of dwellings is leaves behind. Therefore, the exercising alone indicative of the existing system

of this liberty deprives him of a return of peonage. Call it "The Plantation for his labor. What type of liberty is System of Farming" or what you will,

this—the liberty to starve? And what under its flowery name it will be detected difference does it make whether one as a slightly modified system of serfdom starves as a serf or as a share-cropper? —a truly great blight upon the people of Another point upon which this author America. places considerable emphasis is that the

landlord is constantly willing to loan •Dixon, H. M., U.S. Dep't. of Agriculture, Bul- letin No. 492, p. 19, (1917); Labor Fact Book, money to the tenant. But he does not Labor Research Association, p. 112, (1931).

[23] Backwater Margaret Maxwell

Theme 11, Rhetoric 11. 1933-34

r^EEP in the wilderness of southern door exposes fat hams and whole halves

•*--' IlHnois, a wilderness as yet unpene- of beeves, hung on a wire, like Monday's trated by any cemented cow-path, is a washing. Beyond the smokehouse is the small town named Hoffwasser. What barn with flocks of noisy sparrows fly- name could be more appropriate for this ing in and out of its open doors. In little stagnant town than Hoflfwasser, front of the house there is hardly a yard which has the English meaning, "Rack- at all ; there is scarcely ten feet between water"? It is not strange that the town the high front porch and the hitching should be so isolated, since the two mud rack. In summer these small front yards roads which lead in and out of it are are so full of flowers they seem to ooze nine-tenths of the year as gummy as mo- out between the pickets in the fence. lasses. Nine-tenths of the year travel in In customs, the town is typically Ger- any direction is impossible. Only the man. Some of the older inhabitants mail driver with his team of fool-proof speak and understand nothing but Ger- mules, with their large fiat heads and man and violently disapprove of English stranr'ely-oversized hoofs, dares to ven- being taught in the schools. In spite of ture outside the town limits when the state laws, the children of Hoflfwasser roads are wet. Nor do many tourists are withdrawn from grammar school in wander that way. To the tourists' eyes, their seventh year and are sent to confir-

Hoflfwasser is merely old-fashioned and mation school, which is held in the unexciting. church and is taught by the minister. Scarcely three generations ago, a band For two years, the pupils are drilled in of German immigrants chanced upon arithmetic, German grammar, and the

this lonely spot ; and, deciding it was Bible. If they pass the lengthy exami- almost as godforsaken as the section of nation given by the minister, they are Germany from which they had just admitted to the church, and their educa- come, they built a town. The town be- tion is considered complete. came a part of Germany transplanted. Time has little effect on Hoffwasser. Strangers were unwelcome and seldom Things are dated back to the time old stayed. Even to-day the majority of the Lena Mueller's cow was stolen or when population are descended from the origi- the wind blew Hans Lehman's barn over. nal inhabitants. The years are calculated by the number Years have passed, and the houses in of patches on the roof.

Hoffwasser have grown older and grey- During the fall of 1929 when the er, but the town has not changed. Two world went insane over the stock market rows of barn-like houses face each other crash, when factories closed and bank antagonistically across the narrow street. doors were shut as tight as if they had Here and there a plump pigeon balances suddenly been stricken with lock jaw, precariously on the pointed, swift-slop- when some men used a revolver and ing roofs from which red chimneys others walked out of tenth story win- spring up like mushrooms. Behind each dows, the people of Hoffwasser calmly house is a smokehouse, whose open talked of butchering hogs if the weather

[24: «n /

stayed cold. When beer was declared took sides and neighbors fought over legal in Illinois and the highways were back fences, Hoffwasser came to blows cluttered with trucks full of half-aged over the election of the town constable. beer going from breweries to the towns, There are still many of these Back- when people grew hilarious and silly waters, as lonely and isolated as leper over beer which rivaled dish water in colonies. They have become separate taste, the men in Hoffwasser sat in the communities practically disconnected one-roomed shack, boldly labeled saloon, from the outside world. They have shut and drank beer made from the recipes of out civilization and with it the cares of the old country. When Hoover and the world; so life goes on simply and Roosevelt were throwing some of the peacefully. Backwaters are stagnant most eloquent slander in history at one places yet they have a calm and solitude ; another, when the whole United States never found in rushing rivers.

The Thunderstorm Julia Hermie

Theyyxe 12, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 IT WAS a hot, July evening, and I had the rise and fall of voices reached me. taken refuge in the lawn hammock Again and again I opened my eyes, only in an effort to find coolness and sleep. to see the malevolent wink of lightning

My eyes lazily pursued a bat as it dizzily in the far west. Thunder mumbled, caus- hovered and swooped, a moving black ing a strange dread to shoot through my shadow against a fast darkening sky. body. Then I saw and heard no more. Soon, when the night had deepened, Even before opening my eyes, about fireflies, like so many specks of glowing an hour later, I sensed that something gold, flickered restlessly from place to was about to happen. Expectant quiet place. The trees became dark, almost prevailed, not the peaceful quiet of sleep shapeless blotches. At long intervals red but a tense silence, waiting to snap with lightning weakly illumined the north- a jerk. Ever3rthing was holding its western horizon. Idly I closed my eyes breath in fearful anticipation. Not a and listened to the night noises. In the breeze stirred, not a leaf quivered. tree above me a locust buzzed and Streaks of white lightning seared stopped, only to begin again. A chorus through glowering clouds rolling for- of frogs croaked in unison from the ward in sullen heaps, like black horses marsh near by. Their croaking swelled thundering across the sky, the clack of in volume, slowed, rose again, monot- their hoofs sending zig-zags of fire right onous yet pleasant. I heard the whir of and left. But now their hoofs made no insects' wings, the melancholy hoot of an sound. Thunder was suspended. I owl, and a flop and chucking noise as waited half-fearfully and then ran for chickens stirred and settled on a near the porch. branch. Once something scuttled through Of a sudden came the wind in raging the grass, and once or twice a car sped gusts of fury. A newspaper crackled and past. Faintly, as if from a long distance, blew across the yard; a cloth flapped on

[25] pu

the line. Leaves fluttered and fell. audible above the din, which lasted about Doors banged, and windows crashed as a half hour. hastily lowered. In the face they were As the wind and rain subsided, the of the impact, the trees swayed and blinding streaks of lightning became bowed almost to the ground. In spite of more apparent. The thunder cracked, the dust it scattered, the wind was cold lessened in volume and went on its and exhilarating, smelling of fresh rain grumbling and ozone. way. The moon partially The force of the wind increased, and broke through the scattered clouds that hail and rain pelted down, fast and fur- remained. All was quiet again in a ious. The rumbling thunder was scarcely peaceful, dripping way.

Entrance to University Hall LUELLA McCORMICK

Theme 12, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

THREE days out of every week, I walking off into space where stairs hurry down the Broad-walk. Alwa3'S should be but for some unknown reason

I dread to come to the end of the walk, are not. In front of me is a flight of for when I pull open the heavy door of old wooden stairs, tired and sagging.

University Hall, I am met by stifling hot They are very dark, and a rod has been air and the whirring hiss of steam, and put in the center to enable people to

I find myself in a strange dark "cubby grope their way up. About four feet be-

hole." The gloomy landing calls up low the floor on which I am standing, a memories of all the— desperate characters long hall extends. This hall is unfin- of my childhood "Fe, fi, fo, fum, I ished, and on all sides are pipes through

smell the blood of an Englishman!" which the steam rattles as if it were Almost instinctively I crouch farther trying to escape. Along the sides of the into the shadows and wait. hall are rows of closed doors behind Gradually, as my eyes become more which one would expect to find huge accustomed to the dim light, the place furnaces or machines, but one never

loses its weirdness, and becomes instead looks behind these doors.

simply a very old and crude building. I must hurry up those old dark stairs, I am standing on a queer L shaped land- out of this old dark hole, into the good ing, leaning against a railing which has fresh air— for even the air here seems been put there to keep the students from old and dark.

-^ '^jStL^L^

26 The "General" Marshall Smith

Theme 10, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

1GOT my first glimpse of "General" Now it seems that Molestein, like Molestein at the first meeting of the many of the rest of us, had never been cavalry class to which we both belong. near horses before ; nevertheless, he had He stood out from the rest because of a great desire to become a cavalry man. his many peculiarities in physical make- It was with eager steps and a smiling up and in personal habits. I do not mean countenance that he entered the corral to imply that there was anything lacking the day we were to have our first real in his bodily construction for, in fact, it ride. He looked over the horses with the appeared as though he had received more eye of a veteran and then proudly than his share of chest, shoulders, and marched in to claim his choice. As Fate

it, arms. He was built on a V-shape plan ; would have the "General" had taken big head set on a thick neck, well planted possession of a creature that looked on a wonderfully developed barrel chest. more like a mule than a horse, and acted His big body was supported by heavy as one before the day grew much older. legs which tapered into thin ankles and Then, too, our hero quite forgot all the substantial feet. Huge, ape-like arms, lieutenant's kindly suggestions as to how fastened onto truly massive shoulders, a horse should be handled and soon tended to dangle out of his ill-fitting found himself in difficulty. Experience coat. To all this was added a jovial, lik- has taught men that a horse will follow able face, half covered by a broad nose readily when led if he is not looked at, which was just flat enough to give him and conversely, that a horse will tend to a rather tough appearance. He was dis- balk if he is watched by his leader. tinctly a fellow who had done a lot of Well, it seems that Molestein could not wrestling. keep his eyes off his newly acquired Upon coming in closer contact with possession and, consequently, had all but the "General," I found him extremely to carry him into line. But being of a human and a person who enjoyed living. kindly nature and endowed with much He got a big "kick" out of everything patience, he was able to soothe his mount the troop did and made drill a lot more and maneuver him into line with the rest fun for the rest of us. When he came to of the troop. drill in uniform for the first time, he All went well during the ride out to beamed like a kid with his first pair of the drill grounds, but as our friend, the long pants, even though his spurs were "General," began to get the "feel" of his on upside down and his coat fitted too horse and regain his confidence, he be- much like skin to be comfortable or to came so elated that he concentrated more look well. His military cap was much on his nodding to the supposed multi- too small, and he insisted on perching it tudes on either side than he did on the on the back of his head, where it only business of riding. He sat very erect in made his face look larger. All in all, his saddle, feet shot straight forward, "General" Molestein made quite an in- elbows held high, and head thrown back, teresting and somewhat comical picture. trying to look like a second Napoleon.

[27] 0^

Pride and dignity were soon jolted out edge, and got a good hold on his horse's

of him, however, when the commands, neck, hanging on for dear life. Now the "Drop stirrups" and "Slow trot," were horse had to keep his center of gravity; given, for a horse bounces more at a so he naturally tried, by moving faster, slow trot than at any other gait, and to get directly under the main weight of without the aid of stirrups, a beginner is his rider. That accounts for Molestein's in a very precarious condition. This sudden break out of line into the open accounted for Mr. Molestein's quick on that memorable day not many weeks change of attitude, which caused him to become immediately intent on his job of ago. Such bold, individual action was staying on the top side of his horse. So worthy of notice and merited a title. much in earnest was he that he leaned Thus, Private Molestein became the far forward, applied his wrestling knowl- "General."

A Walk Walter Turner

Theme 11, Rhetoric I, 1933-34 IT WAS eleven o'clock, that time of Everything—study, college, life—seemed night when the brain, exhausted by absurd. four hours of intense study, refuses to "Let's take a walk and forget it," my grasp ideas with clarity. Algebra had roommate suggested. become a conglomeration of meaningless "I can't. I have algebra and chemistry theorems. "Why, if R is a root of F(X) yet to do." = 0, should X — R be a factor? What "You know you won't get them. You is is a 'root'? How can can't you're burnt out. Come on." F(X)? What ; one know X — R is a factor, whatever a I went. 'factor' is?" Chemistry had become a We reached Goodwin Avenue, turned mass of nebulous h3T)otheses. "Why south, passed the Women's Residence should two volumes of hydrogen com- Hall and the Women's Gymnasium, bine with one volume of oxygen to pro- leaped the sewer excavation, and walked duce only two volumes of steam? Why, east to the Forest Preserve. Near Mc-

if one took equal volumes of gases, Kinley Hospital we again turned south- should there be an equal number of ward on Lincoln Avenue. We had gone molecules present? That could not be two blocks when the lights behind

proved ; no one can see molecules, even winked out. Next, those in front were

with a microscope. And, how could it be extinguished, and then those beside us

proved that a molecule of hydrogen is dimmed, glowed, and died out. It was,

composed of two atoms and should be at first, frightening. We had become so written Hj? If molecules cannot be seen, accustomed to light that the darkness how in the world can one know that a had a tangible force. We turned west- single molecule of a gas has two atoms ?" ward and stumbled through a corner of

[28] "

the Forest Preserve to Pennsylvania building to building, listening to instruc- Avenue. There, with a free sweep from tors, taking tests, and studying far into the south, the wind bit through our the night when we could be away from jackets. It blew the numbness from our all the hurrah and hubbub, close to brains. Nature—and Something? As we walked Suddenly a Something forced itself through that cold, dark night, we reveled upon our consciousness ; we became in the thought of dropping everything, aware of a new feeling. We became acknowledging our failure, and retreat- rebellious. Why should two young, ing to some spot where we would be freedom-loving creatures be forced to alone, at peace. study things we could not understand, W^e turned north. As we neared the things we could not see, when within a university grounds, the queer, exalted half-mile we could come into contact feeling vanished as though the buildings with something higher, something great- were surrounded with an atmosphere er, than we could ever find in college? that excluded communication with some- Why should we spend four more of the thing higher. We returned home, re- best years of our lives running from freshed—and puzzled.

Up from the Coal Country Robert Arnold

Theme 12, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

T WONDERED why he was in such a "Want to stop for anything?" I asked. ^ hurry to get home. All afternoon he "I haven't any money," he explained. had hurried about his work, and at eve- I had forgotten. He had come up ning he did his chores and mine too. from the south broke—mine strike, he When I trudged in from the field, he told had said. He came to Dad and offered me that Dad said I was to take him to work for almost nothing, just so that home. It was Saturday night ; he wanted he got work. Dad hired him at thirty a to go home to his family. Night had month and advanced him five dollars to come when we pulled down the lane and get clothes to work in ; he had come in out upon the highway. A summer eve- rags. That was two days ago. He still ning with a Starr}' sky above, a ribbon owed Dad three dollars. of grey ahead, and a soft breeze to blow "What do you want to buy?" I asked one's hair—how good was life ! We again. hummed along; he said nothing; I com- "Groceries ; bread is not— so appetis'n mented now and then on different things all the time—and the kids on the farm. He seemed to be thinking I saw his predicament. "You better of something. As we neared a town, cars buy some groceries," I said. "Just charge whipped past and lights roamed the sky. them to Dad."

The town was busy and boisterous ; its He seemed much relieved as he hur- glaring lights and noisy horns seemed to ried away. In a short time he returned leer at the quiet country. The motor with some bread, bacon, and crackers. chugged doggedly, showing its dislike. He directed me out of town and down

[29] "

the dirt road toward his home. As the doctor wouldn't come unless I had the town Hghts Winked behind us, once more money." we felt the fresh air on our faces. He Curse my ignorance ! Why couldn't was quiet. His home was over the ridge I catch on ! I told him I would get a and down in the flat country. Houses doctor. grew fewer and the road rougher. After While coming back with the doctor a while we turned up a lane. an hour later, I noticed how quiet and

"It's the house just before you get to lonely it was down by the shack. Some- the high crossing," he told me. where, far down the tracks, a hidden When we stopped, I saw the shack signal light flared up into the night. It nestled up against the big tracks. A seemed to reach out protectingly over the dim light shone through an open door. little home lying in the darkness beneath Lean, dark faces crowded into the door- its glow. We pulled up the lane and the way and asked for "Daddy." I followed doctor got out. him to the door, carrying the box of "Coming in?" he asked. crackers. A kerosene lamp threw a yel- "No, I'll stay out and watch this low light over a room, bare save for a Limited go by." table and two benches. The father had The doctor was gone a few lonely gone directly into another room. When minutes. When he came out, he looked he came to the door again to make grave. arrangements for me to get him Sunday "Half starved," he said, "and the evening, he looked worried. Then I heard fever took her." a low moan from the other room. Something pumped hard inside me. "It's Myrtle. She's been sick three "No hope?" days now— The doctor shook his head. "Cold." I understood. "I better go fetch a doc- The night seemed quieter than ever.

tor," I said. The signal light down the track kept "I've only been here a few days; a flaring into the blackness.

Wanderlust Foiled

George p. Entrekin

Thcwc 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

FRIEND and I, searching for some- ors, I do not know where to find it. My

A thing to do for an afternoon, had friend and I, after much walking about, wandered into the water front district. found a place where we could watch the It was shortly after noon on a fine day loading of a large freighter from the top in late spring—just the sort of day when of two piles which stood side by side and one feels the urge to go places and do protruded several feet above the level of

things. If there is any place in the world the dock floor. which creates a desire to wander into the Large crates of machinery were being far corners of the earth more rapidly lifted, several at a time, from a string of than the water front of some great sea- box cars which sat on a siding which ran

port with its multitude of ships and sail- along the dock. We guessed, from the

[30] ship's appearance of being low in the engines. The only man present was the water, that it was nearl}' loaded, and was third engineer, who was sitting under probably due to sail in a day or so, the large dial of the engine room tele- though we could not so much as guess graph with his feet propped on the hand where it was bound. Even though it was throttle, reading a magazine. He tore low in the water, its funnel towered himself away from his story long enough many feet above us, and from its red- to listen to ours and to call into the banded top issued a small wisp of smoke depths below the engines, for "Bill." It from the boilers which furnished steam was fully another half hour before Bill for the several donkey engines which appeared. He was a lank, wizened indi- clattered and wheezed on the deck. The vidual, whom we guessed to be the chief ship's superstructure had been painted oiler. He was dressed in the dirtiest recently, and had more of the appearance dungarees I have ever seen. In one ac- of a large passenger liner than of some tion he told us to follow him and scored lowly tramp. Excepting the few men a bull's eye on a rivet hole in the floor grouped about the hatch through which with a large quid of tobacco. It seemed the cargo was being lowered, the ship that he was to show us over the grounds seemed to be nearly deserted. which the oiler's duty covers. While watching the scene before us, First, he took us into the dynamo my companion and I were probably room, which was also the oiler's head- struck with the same thought at the same quarters. There he had us change into moment. Why, we thought, could we not dirty overalls and oil-soaked shoes. sign on and sail with her to some distant Next, we went down a ladder to the very part of the world? What a fine way that base of the engines to the bilge pumps. would be to spend a vacation ! It was A mixture of oil and rusty water lay on nearly an hour before we got up courage the floor, and its odor, in conjunction to go aboard, and when we did, it was with that of the unventilated atmosphere with a sense of great accomplishment to- of the place, made it most disagreeable, ward starting out on a great under- but to us it was rather romantic. From taking. When we had searched for some there we climbed up a narrow, vertical time on the deserted deck, we found a ladder along the side of one of the en- sleepy ofificer who said that there might gines. About halfway up, there was a be a possibility of getting on as oilers. slippery unrailed platform from which Even such a lowly job as that of oiler several mechanical oilers had to be in- seemed an opportunity to us, and we spected at regular periods. It was not congratulated ourselves on finding any simple even then, in the quiet of inaction, opportunity at all. After directing us in to peer into the glass of the lubricator somewhat uncertain phrases to the en- and keep our balance. What would it be gine room, the officer dozed oflf again, like at sea with the ship rolling and the and we started in search of the compan- engine's crosshead thundering past sev- ion-way. When we had tried several eral hundred times a minute? Bill, ladders with negative results, we found whenever he was moved to say some- the one that led to the grating just above thing, would inevitably tell us how the engines. Our search had to be again simple our job would be, with never a organized in order to find someone in the hint of its dangers. passage-ways about the two immense The final part of our tour was out

[31] 1/

along the propeller shafts. We entered bearings for heat, oil them, look for through a heavy bulkhead door in the leaks at the stern gland, and return. after part of the engine room, into a low Since the ship had twin screws, there narrow passage, down the center of was another tube demanding the same which ran one of the immense steel exacting attention. I began to feel the shafts, supported on several ponderous effects of the heat, the odors, and the bearings. This tube-like passage was stale air, and began to be impatient to illuminated faintly with two low-powered get out. Even in the dim light, and bulbs, one at the entrance and one about under his now thorough coating of halfway down. The light was of such grease, my companion, I noticed, looked

a quality that it accentuated rather than pale. Bill, however, was not yet content alleviated the darkness. We groped our with showing us about. He went on back way slantingly down past the bearings to the very limit of the passage, where a alongside the greasy shaft, stepping into tiny stream of murky harbor water puddles of greasy bilge water and listen- leaked in past the shaft and ran down ing to the scurrying of an occasional rat, into the bilge. Since Bill was behind us

since this passage was directly under the on the way out, it took us only a short after cargo hold. Even without the time to be back in the dynamo room and added heat from the bearings during a into our street clothes. Passing the en- voyage, the place was unbearably hot, gine room telegraph on our way to the the steam lines to the after deck winch ladder to the deck, we told the engineer

running directly over head. Under the that, if we wanted the jobs, we would be second lamp Bill stopped, rested against back the next day, and then ran to the a bearing cap, produced a bedraggled deck. Nothing has ever smelled better

cigarette, and between drags on it told tis than the smoky air of the harbor late that we would be expected to crawl that spring afternoon after we had de- down the shaft once an hour, feel the cided to remain landlubbers.

[32]

No. 3

CONTENTS

THE STRANGEST DELIVERY ROUTE IN THE WORLD 1 George Traicoff TWO BUILDERS 3 Robert PeUtowski FORGOTTEN ENTHUSIASMS 5 Dorothy Dillon CONTEMPORARY PRESS COMMENTS ON THE ASSASSINATION OF ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND 6 Milton J. Tepper

PUBLIC SCHOOL ENGLISH: A CRITICISM . . 9 Anonymous AGRICULTURE DIFFICULTIES IN MY COM- MUNITY IN 1933 13 Ruth Anderson ON COWS 14 Virginia Kohl A TYPE OF BEAUTY 16 Louise Trimble BACKSTAGE AT THE OPERA 17 John R. Hamilton FRESH FROM THE COUNTRY 20 Gerald Peck BOTH THE SAME 22 Florence Stone "OLE MAN" POOR 23 Dorothy Deal

18 ANGLE STREET. HAMILTON. BERMUDA . . 24 John Waldo •DEVELOP" .25 Nancy Branyan CABLES AND FOOD. DEFERRED 26 G. W. James BURIED ALIVE 29 E. E. Edwards

.jU^^AJM^ PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

The Strangest Delivery Route in the World George Traicoff

Theme 16, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

WHEN at home, I usually take charge duplicating every one of her emotions of my dad's bakery delivery route upon my face so that J might appear and deliver to various homes a loaf of attentive and sympathetic. When she bread much enjoyed by people of Slavic sighed, I sighed ; when she shook her origin and others. I cannot think of any head, I shook my head ; and when she job that has had more complexities and took a handkerchief to wipe her tears, peculiarities than following this delivery I took my leave. I had more bread to route of ours, unless it might be the work deliver. of an insurance collector. For instance, I remember peculiar incidents which on the route there are peoples of at least resulted from other situations. One place nine different nationalities, including to which I had to deliver was a "boot- Serbians, Polacks, Lithuanians, Rus- legging joint." I had to go around to the sians, Macedonians, Bulgarians, Greeks, side and knock upon the door. Americans, Austrians, and a few others "Who's there?" a man asked in his whom I do not recall ; moreover, the ma- native tongue. jority of these people speak in their na- "Pekar," I replied, using a word of tive tongue. I have learned the word for some Slavic tongue. bread and bread-man in each of these "Who?" he asked again. languages. I've had to. The custom of "Lebigea," I answered, hoping I had these nationalities is to announce one's the right language this time. I had ; and presence by calling out who or what he presently a peek-hole was opened, my

is ; consequently, I must, in order, call out identity assured, and I was permitted to brodmon, pekar, lebigea, bread-man, ep- enter. sum, and a few others. I can count in the I recall with much embarrassment a various languages, and understand how very recent incident. There are on our

much bread they want ; especially I can route three houses, all identical. I had understand them if they hold up their been accustomed to deliver only to the fingers to indicate how many loaves of first, but my father had just persuaded bread they want. Sometimes I am de- the occupants of the second house to be- tained by my customers, and must some- come our customers. I placed three how carry on a conversation. I recall loaves of bread in my basket, thinking very vividly the time when an Austrian them sufficient for the two families, and customer, a lady, stopped me and in- proceeded to peddle my bread. I concen- sisted upon telling me about a young man trated so hard on what I was doing that who had died of heart trouble. I gather- my mind was filled with the idea of deed this information from the very few livering to the first house and then, after English words she uttered, the various crossing the yard, of delivering to the gestures, and the emotions registered second house. To my surprise, the first upon her face. I can still picture myself house wanted all three loaves. I went

[1 back and secured three more loaves, and bought bread. I looked to the right and proceeded to the next house. I went to saw two identical houses. I then realized the kitchen door and inquired of the man that I had reentered the first house. I who was chopping wood in the yard how apologized and hurriedly left. The lady many loaves he wanted. He replied, continued laughing. "Three !" in a rather indignant or exas- As I think about the time required to perated tone. He turned around, and I deliver, I find that one-third of my time was shocked when I saw his face. I was spent in actual delivery, one-third wondered when I had seen one just like in repairing tires, and one-third in hunt- it before. I knew I had seen it recently. ing for a gasoline station. I remember Was it the man who lived near us and delivering when I had to stop every probabl)' had moved here? All of a sud- block to wipe the ice off the windshield, den the kitchen door opened, and his and again when I had to stop just about wife stepped out. Have you ever been as often to get a drink of cold water. I to a movie where things are shown recall starting to deliver when I should double? The lady looked double to me, have been through. I remember deliver- and I said to myself, "My goodness ing bread that was still hot, and at other gracious, what my sister said only this bread that hard enough morning about all Slavic people looking times was serve stones. But, best of alike is true." I blinked my eyes and was to as paving speechless, for this lady looked just ex- all, I like to think that now I am ninety actly like the lady of the first house. miles from home, and cannot be called by She laughed and said she had already Mother to get up and to deliver.

[2] ; ^u

wo Builders Robert Pelatowski

Theme 11, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

I soaring majestically, the tower dropped A L O F T Y choir alone remains in through the ever weakening crossings '* memory of the inspiration and en- into the Cathedral, sending (by reason of

thusiasm of the builder of the wonder- the pressure it caused in the interior of ful Notre Dame of Beauvais. He intend- the Cathedral) the glorious colored win- ed that the Notre Dame should be, by dows in flashing sprays into the cobbled far, the most magnificent edifice ever market-place of Beauvais. built: a cathedral whose nave should Thus ended the inspired idea that was stand so high that people thronging her to have been the Notre Dame of Beau- portals would appear like ants crowding vais. To the casual traveler, it is now into a great oak ; a cathedral from whose merely an unfinished building; yet this crossings should rise a most wonderful fragment, as it stands today, a cathedral tower, set upon the tall, dangerously slen- filled with long streams of cold, white der piers of the nave, yet reaching light, pouring through her colorless win- higher into the heavens than even the dows, dancing, shuttling, reflecting upon dome of St. Peter's in Rome, placed, her cold grey piers, is to me the fulfill- even as that was, upon a veritable pile ment of the wishes of the master builder of sluggish masonry. Feats like this one, —the greatest accomplishment in archi- however, are never to be accomplished tecture as well as man's greatest mani- they are too far beyond the abilities and festation of an idea. This master builder the comprehension of the ordinary per- of Beauvais must have been an inspired

son, who is necessarily involved. At man! What a youthful spirit! What Beauvais, the French artisans were in- a restless vigor must have encouraged competent to follow the sweeping hand him to build upward and upward, un- of the master builder—the master build- restrained, into the clear, fresh air above er, himself, too inspired, too wild and the squalor of the streets below ! How enthusiastic for the safe carrying out of naively he worked ; how unaffected by his scheme. sophistry he carved! The fresh sculp- With such circumstances governing tured work above the portal of the north tlie building of Beauvais, there could be transept, unspoiled by over finish, is but one result: the nave of the choir eloquent of the efforts of a fiercely re- into rose rapidly ; the great piers, the flying ligious sculptor, writing leafy nature buttresses, and the tall arches rose to an his work and carving what he saw about airy height only to collapse. Yet the arch- him. God in nature must have been, to itect rebuilt the nave—and this time he him, God in religion. made it stand. With the same enthusi- II asm (still outdoing his reason) he began the wild scheme of building the great Upon the Acropolis at Athens stands tower before finishing the nave. As the splendid Parthenon, perhaps the most would be expected, this procedure also perfect masterpiece of architecture yet

ended in disaster. After twenty years of created. It is a low but dignified build-

[3] f ^

ing; its roof is gabled; its walls, closed gay; as the work of the builder of the

in on all sides by a peristyle of the finest Parthenon is perfect, sensuous, yet cold

proportions, are decorated with the best and dignified, so is the work of intellec-

of architectural sculpture and ornament. ual men in general outstanding in its Yet, for all its perfections, the Parthe- perfection and dignity. non seems squat and forbidding when I believe that the ordinary man is more compared with the warm and magnificent intellectual than inspired. "Common Beauvais. Its restrained, severely correct sense" is his religion. He believes in at- order with its sensuously curved sur- tempting only that which he is sure he dull and worldly, in compari- faces seems can do. By observation, we see that he son with the elegant piers and their seldom feels the desire to accomplish the leafy capitals at Beauvais; its conven- great, but continues through life restrain- tionalized ornament seems stiff and over- ing himself from impulsive actions and worked when compared with the fresh offering each day eight hours of stagna- leafy ornament of Beauvais. The build- ting in an office chair for the remaining er of the Parthenon must have been a sixteen of the peace and security of a man learned in anatomy, mathematics, safe home. The inspired man is, first of the sciences, and philosophy; sophisti- all, impulsive. The builders of Beauvais cated in his attitude toward the spiritual, must have exchanged, during the building and desirous of making beautiful for the of the tower, many hours of peace and sake of beauty and the appreciation of moderate happiness for a moment of ec- man. stasy. The ordinary man shows himself From the standpoint of architecture, to be well dressed and self conscious neither Beauvais nor the Parthenon even to the extent of attempting to pre- could be considered better than the other. sent himself to his friends as a person of Each reached the culmination of its own an entirely different character from his style. Beauvais, the Gothic, developed own. The inspired man is too much oc- from the soul, and, given to the worship cupied with his thoughts about great of something great and mysterious, was things to concern himself with such tri- glorious and warm and inspired. The vial affairs as the cut of his clothes or his Parthenon, classical, developed from the personality. The ordinary man feels intellect, and, constructed merely for little of the spiritual side of life. To be beauty, was cold and dignified and per- sure, many go to church, but that they fect. The inspired man wishes happiness actually feel in the presence of the in life; the intellectual, truth and per- supernatural, when they are there, is fection. doubtful. Most inspired men must have Ill been religious, for much of the greatest To compare further the builder of music has been written on religious Beauvais with the builder of the Parthe- themes during moments of deep religious non and to extend this comparison to fervor. The greatest cathedrals were

men in general is a profitable exercise in built during years of religious triumph. the study of men. In the same manner The ordinar}- man considers that there that the work of the master builder of are two conflicting forces in the world;

Beauvais was great in its vigor, its vast- he is one, and the rest of the world is ness, and its gray naivete, so is the work the other. The man of inspiration looks of all inspired men vigorous, large, and upon himself as one of the many living

[4] ;

animals on this earth: he feels that un- something remarkable. Thomas Paine, less he accomplishes something remark- for example, a political writer of no able during his life, he has no right to great merit, wrote, in a moment of pa- consider himself more worthy than the triotic fervor, the Common Sense Papers, lower animals; for, if the reproduction a splendid work and a forceful one. of his species is all that he can set up as When his ardor cooled, however, he his life's work, he has done nothing more found himself bereaved of his powerful than that which any living matter can style and presented failure after failure do. to a disappointed public.

There are ordinary men of the in- While it is unspeakably better that or- spired type. As it happens, they usually dinary men are more of the intellectual fail in life, for they attempt things so type than of the inspired, it is, at the far above their abilities that the enthusi- same time, unfortunate that ordinary asm and energy they receive from an in- men lack so much of the inspired man's

piration is not great enough to carr\' fire and enthusiasm ; of his desire to ac-

them through its difficulties. Because complish and to find out ; of his desire they fail in reality, they seek happiness to revere and appreciate, a desire which by living in a world of unreality and sends the blood throbbing through his sink into the benumbed state of mind of body, clears his mind, and stimulates his dreamers. It is only the greatest of in- imagination. It is only through occasional spired men who succeed; however, at abandonment of the path of common long intervals an ordinary man of the sense that one may sharpen the ever inspired type succeeds in accomplishing dulling edge of life.

Forgotten Enthusiasms Dorothy Dillon

Impromptu, Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

WHEN I was a small child, I was brighter moments she thought that I really rather attractive. I had long might become a great figure in the zoo- curls, I was rather shy, and I was gen- logical world or a world-famous lady erally dressed in neat, clean frocks surgeon. However, she had her darker therefore, a particular enthusiasm of moments, when she believed that I must mine caused all who knew about it, and have a criminal streak in me, that I especially my mother, to shudder and to would some day shock the entire world wonder how such a dainty little girl could by some bloodthirsty murder in which have such a trait. Now, if I had been a the victim was cut into tiny bits. The boy—a dirty, frowsy-haired, overalled cause of all this worry and doubt was boy— I might not have excited so much my passion for worms. shocked comment. My innocent enthusi- I was interested in the common, or- asm was so bad that I kept my poor dinary fishing-worms, the kind to be mother worrying about my future occu- found in anyone's back yard and on

pation and position in life—that is, in her anyone's sidev.alks after a rain. They

[5] were of different sizes and shapes, some cause my mother accidentally thrust her

long and thin, some pink with queer hand into this drawer one day, I received brown bulges along their sides, and some the only spanking I ever remember small and wrinkled. I found all this out having administered to me. One of my by youthful observations; yes, even by most enjoyable times was when my close observation, as I often held the father went fishing. I enjoyed the pre- wriggly, pink in worm up my carefully paration, however, rather than the sport. scrubbed little hands to ascertain whether Humoring me, he always allowed me to or not it had a face, a or mouth, any pull the fat "wrinkly" worms out of the ears. Well, as far as I could see, it didn't. ground, an especially pleasant job, as Worms presented very interesting sub- they stretched so queerly.

jects for experiments ; one worm, upon Now, I would hardly look at a worm, being cut into two pieces, existed then as let alone touch one. They are now merely two worms, and wriggled awa}'. As the the objects of an entirely forgotten en- scope of my experimentation broadened, thusiasm. My mother no longer worries I cut these pieces into more and more about whether or not I shall become a sections, until, without the aid of a feared criminal or wonderful authority microscope, m}- delvings into the secrets a

of zoology could not continue. I had a on vivisectional zoology. She needn't, as certain place in the drawer of a doll's I shall probably become an ordinary

dresser where I kept the pieces to see school-teacher, teaching ordinary school- wliether or not they would grow. Be- children their everyday grammar lessons.

Contemporary Press Comments on the Assassina- tion of Archduke Franz Ferdinand

Milton J. Tepper

Theme 11, Rhetoric II. 1932-33 THE date was June 28, 1914; on the capital of Bosnia, with his morganatic night before. Jack Johnson and Mor- wife. But let us go on with the scene as an had met for the heavyweight boxing given by the Outlook of July 11, 1914. championship of the world. The press The Archduke and his wife were entering Sarajevo, the capital of Bosnia, when a bomb was all upset over the question of home burst immediately behind their motor, shatter- rule for Ireland, and automobile manu- ing the motor which followed it, and injuring facturers were boastfully advertising its occupants. Moved by this circumstance, the Archduke, before replying later to the their products as the ultimate in mechan- Mayor's message of welcome, said: "An ical efficiency and beauty. But, this day amazing indignity has been perpetrated. You something was going to happen. Franz have received us with bombs." With his wife, Ferdinand, Crown Prince of Austria- he then drove to the hospital to inquire after the condition of the sufferers of the bombs, Hungar}', visiting was little Sarajevo, when a young man sprang out of the crowd

[6: and aimed a pistol at the Duchess. Her hus- laying oneself open to the charge of heart-

band immediately threw himself in front of lessness. For while it is only natural that one her to shield her. The weapon used was an should be stricken with horror at the brutal and automatic pistol. Both occupants of the motor shocking assassination of Archduke Francis

received mortal wounds from which they soon Ferdinand, it is impossible to deny the fact expired. that his disappearance from the scene is calculated The political situation in Europe was to diminish the tenseness and to make for peace both within and without the dual very delicate at the time. The Balkans empire. had been at peace less than a year; the To such an extent has Francis Ferdinand rest of the world had been waiting for been regarded, both at home and abroad, as a disturbing factor, and as committed to force- half a century for the dual-empire to fall ful and extremely aggressive policies, that the and was beginning to be resigned to its news of his death is almost calculated to create a feeling of universal relief. apparent stability ; and every large nation in Europe was "armed to the teeth" and The article went on further to de- ready for war. The assassination of the scribe how the emperor had made Franz Archduke was the spark that touched Ferdinand his counsellor and how the off all this inflammable material and crown prince had gradually usurped

started the greatest conflagration known power until it was difficult to stay his to modern man—the World War. hand. It also mentioned his hostility to Looking at the Chicago papers of Russia, Serbia, Italy, and the United Monday, June 29, we find that the affair States, his unpopularity at home and was given considerable space. The Clii- abroad, and his morganatic wedding—all cago Daily Tribune devoted about four- portrayed in a very bad light.

fifths of the first five pages to the trag- Tuesday, the Tribune had, as its sec-

edy; it told the details of the assassina- ond editorial, a statement of the condition and gave a list of all the attempted tions in Austria-Hungary and the assassinations of rulers since 1800 A.D. reasons for the assassination. No definite The Chicago Daily Journal had almost opinion was expressed. And that was as much as the Tribune, and the Chicago the end of any comments or opinions in Evening Post and the Chicago Herald the Tribune. and Examiner also gave very full ac- The Chicago Evening Post on Mon- counts. However, that seemed to be the day had a thirty-two line editorial to the end of the affair as far as all the news- effect "that the assassination yesterday papers except the Tribune were concern- in the capital of Bosnia may change the

ed, and by the end of the week, even fate of empires is not the thing that that journal of public opinion said no brings it most vividly home to the reali- more about it. Clearly, from the point zation of the American people," but the of news value, the of murder the crown real problem is how the rulers of the prince of Austria-Hungary was a "one- world are to guard themselves against day sensation." assassins. That was the entire contribu- Speaking editorially, the Chicago tion of the Post. newspapers had little to say. On Mon- The third editorial in Monday's Chi- day, the Tribune had an article on the cago Daily Journal stated: first page with the author's name at the The Balkans have ruled so long with slaugh- beginning, as "Ex-Attache." Under a ter that it is not surprising that the blood of royalty finally has mingled with that of sol- New York date line, comment ran as fol- diers and peasants. lows: However horrifying the assassination of It is difficult to discuss the tragedy without Archduke Ferdinand and consort may be,

[7] such a tragedy grows naturally out of condi- are assassinated in Sarajevo, the capital tions like those which have existed in that of Bosnia, by a Serbian student." The turbulent country. It is characteristic of such sanguinary history as has been written in these Nation of July 2, 1914, also gave only war-worn states that, sooner or later, the rul- the bare details of the incident. ing classes contribute to the mortality list. The editorial comment of the maga- The Archduke has shown a lack of sympathy with his future subjects that may have zines, however, was very full and inter- helped to invite his fate. His consort paid the esting. The Outlook of July 11, 1914, penalty of royalty, although she never could did not consider Ferdinand at all have been a queen. capable. "The world looked on with misgivings," Those opinions, expressed under the as he was "reserved, taciturn, moody, title, "A Balkan Tragedy," were all the opinionated, a jingo, a militarist Journal had to say. under Jesuit control." The Outlook also told It is also very interesting to see what of its pity for the emperor. The Nation the London and Paris papers had to say of July 2, 1914, feeling that it was the about the affair on Monday morning. personal aspect rather than the political The Morning Post said, "The idea that that makes an appeal, expressed pity for the assassin's bullet was to hasten some the aged emperor. It was their opinion change in the Constitution or policy is that Austria would continue its policy of not to be entertained." The Daily Tele- imperialism, and that the only conse- graph said that the death would be a ser- quences ious loss to Europe. The Daily Chronicle would be political ones in said the Archduke was murdered as "the Vienna, as they said, "And the real con- patron and almost personification of the cern of European chancelleries, in the anti-Serbian policy of Vienna." He was presence of this Austrian tragedy, is "undoubtedl}' the most serious problem more with personal and dynastic changes which follow in to Russian ambition in southeast Europe. may Vienna, than with any possibility that Austria will be His succession to the throne was awaited shaken out of her orbit." The opinions with undisguised dislike .... and it was reflected Literary Digest of an ugly fact in Russia's foreign record in the July that almost every man who has stood 11, 1914, concern themselves chiefly with four ideas: reasons for assas- against Russia in the Balkans in modern the the times has been assassinated." The Paris sination, speculations as to whether the empire continue to stand, press was filled with sympathj^ and hor- would com- ror, but there was no political comment parison of Charles Francis with Franz beyond the probable reasons for the as- Ferdinand, and the peculiar status of sassination. Franz Ferdinand's morganatic wife. All Because they appeared so long after this was in the leading article which the tragedy, the current weekly maga- occupied the first three pages of the magazine. zines gave little attention to the facts in the case. The treatment of the Although there is no doubt that the Outlook has been given above. In the contemporary press did not anticipate Literary Digest of July 11, 1914, we find the actual results of the assassination, on the next to the last page, under there are good reasons for excusing this "Current Events": "June 28. The Arch- seeming ignorance or lack of foresight. duke Francis Ferdinand, heir to the In the first place, the peculiar conditions throne of Austria-Hungary, and his mor- existing in Europe, as have been describ- ganatic wife, the Duchess of Hohenburg, ed earlier, minimized the importance of

[8] />/^

the incident. Then again, there was not BIBLIOGRAPHY the close bond between the two contin- DiETZ, Frederick, Political and Social History England. Macmillan, 1932. ents that exists today. Lastly, the news of Chicago Daih Tribune, June 20, 1914—July 6, dispatches from Europe were vague and 1914. misinforming. From the Nation of July Chicago Herald and Examiner, [une 29, 1914 —July 6, 1914. 30, 1914, we find that "the shock caused Chicago Evening Post, June 29, 1914—July 6, by the assassination of Archduke Franz 1914. Ferdinand was fully realized in this Chicago Dailv Journal, June 29, 191-1—July 6, 1914. country, but the later news dispatches Outlook, July 11, 1914, S77-S78. gave us in this country very few pre- Literarv Digest, July 11, 1914, 12-15, 84. monitions of the sequel." Nation, July 2, 1914, 1, 56-57; July 30, 1914, 121.

Public School English: A Criticism Anonymous

Theme 11, Rhetoric //, 1933-34

WHEN I was about eleven years old, portant incidents in these books I pic-

I began to enjoy adult stories and tured vividly. I was never bored ; I had novels. To be sure, I was not always a hobby—reading. I was never alone ; I discriminating in taste. Mary Roberts always had companions—the book char- Rinehart's lurid mysteries intrigued me acters. fully as much as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. At that time, as a result of reading, Hyde, Gene Stratton-Porter's insipid I was interested, although not gifted, in love stories as much as Silas Marner, writing. From being informed that a Zane Grey's stupid western romances series of short sentences beginning in even more than The Deerslayer. All im- a similar manner create monotony I

[9] / f

concluded that words ending in "ing," lists of words, which I was advised to nouns modifying nouns, relative clauses, use in my compositions. Although I was prepositional phrases, and a series of warned against using unusual words in- verbs—constructions w^hich occurred correctly, I was not cautioned against frequently in my reading—were useful. using them correctly to ridiculous ex- So far I had made a definite advance in cess. Therein lay the difficulty. English. Undesirable as had been my reaction Difficulties arose when a teacher, who, to rhetoric preachments in grade school,

I have since heard, is either extravagant it now became more so. From the num- in praise or severe in condemnation, ber and type of them I derived the idea highly lauded my themes, solely because that sentence variety, sentence length, they showed greater variety in sentence and a large vocabulary constitute style.

construction and a larger vocabulary Accordingly, I stretched my sentences than were found in most grammar until the meaning was as thin as wire school compositions. For one sentence drawn to the limit, twisted and turned in particular, "Where she was going and them until they were hopelessly knotted where she had come from nobody knew," and confused, inserted innumerable pleo- she commended me until I began to con- nastic and tautological phrases until they sider myself an exceptional student. were dangerously weakened, and loaded For using words of about the same them with ponderous words until they extravagance as "embellish" she lavish- nearly fell to pieces.

ed praise upon me until I believed myself That I was not commended for my already showing signs of talent. efforts had no effect except to make me

There was, however, a saving grace still more madly pursue former methods.

in her method; it aroused my interest in Like the young bride, who, once com- writing, in carefully weighing the sig- plimented on her baking-powder biscuits, ficance of words, in shifting parts of serves them until the mere sight of that sentences around, jig-saw puzzle fash- food becomes sickening to her husband,

ion, to obtain the effect desired, and, I, once praised for comparative maturity

although I was interested in making a of style, continued to serve relative noise as loud as possible, rather than as clauses, appositives, participles, and rare pleasing as possible—somewhat in the words until the appearance of my papers manner of a small boy with a harmonica in itself must have nauseated my teach- —at least I was enjoying myself. ers, who, like the timid young husband, When I entered high school, serious did not criticize them, but merely failed trouble began. I was given coldly mech- to digest them. When I did not receive anical exercises in sentence variation, the grades I desired, I concluded that, monotonously rigid drill on vocabulary. since grammar and punctuation were

I was told definitely to use gerunds, fairly correct, I was not paying sufficient participles, appositives, and relative attention to style. Accordingly, a letter

clauses; I was required to place phrases, became "an epistle" or "a communica- clauses, and objects at the beginning of tion," a home "an abode," a generous

sentences ; I was ordered to bring to person "magnanimous," a disagreeable class a specified number of unfamiliar sound "cacophonous," and a difficult words. Frequently I was asked to con- undertaking "a herculean task." Strain- sult the dictionary for the meanings of ed, round-about language, too, was used

101 to avoid repetition. In one theme Mac- [at the trial of Charles Darnay] swarm- beth passed through the stages of "this ed about him like blue bottle flies," but, combination of paradoxes," "our doubt- instead of forming vivid mental pictures ful hero," "the man of fatal ambition," of Dover, Cruncher, and Darnay, I saw "the homicide," and "the uxorious hus- in my mind only printed words. I was band." Altogether, with my parade of asked to notice the effectiveness of learning, I made myself no less ridicu- Bacon's pithy, well-balanced statements, lous than Dogberry and Mrs. Malaprop. 3'et, although I remember that "some

In literature I had difficulties no less books are to be tasted, others to be great. Acting on the theory that in pub- swallowed, and some few to be chewed lic school most students acquire their and digested," I did not derive any life knowledge of the classics, since only pleasure from reading Bacon. 1 was one-tenth of high school graduates at- urged to remember that "Life like a tend college, the English staff demanded dome of many-coloured glass spots the an enormous amount of reading—much white radiance of eternity," but was con- more than that assigned freshmen at the scious onl}' of the peculiarity of Shelley's

University of Illinois. I cannot enjoy metaphor. In short I learned, not to like the beauties of the landscape when I am literature, but merely to loathe insipid racing across the country as fast as a books and to dislike those of mediocre car can travel, nor can I enjoy the beau- quality. ties of literature when I am racing The futility of much of my public over the pages as fast as my eyes can school English is thus apparent. In rhet- travel. In the first instance my mind is oric, exaggerated emphasis on variety in occupied with the excitement of the sentence structure and word selection ride, with the swift onward motion, with resulted, not in self-expression, but in the attempt to push my hair from my self-repression. True, the loss was only

eyes ; in the other, with the tension of temporary and was, moreover, partly forcing my eyes across the page, with offset by increased correctness in gram- the madness of the rush, with the dis- mar and punctuation, but should not comfort of eyestrain and head-aches. In four years work yield definite returns? both instances few mental pictures are In literature, long, enforced assignments formed. Instead of creating an apprecia- made reading a source of knowledge, like tion for literature, long assignments de- history, rather than a means of amuse- stroyed my pleasure in reading, so that ment. Many facts were inculcated, and

I found myself passing over words, a realization of the failings of most sentences, paragraphs, even pages, with- modern authors was effected, but out the slightest idea of the content, or, whether it is of more value—insofar as at most, only vague impressions. the ability to enjoy life, one of the most To be sure, the instructors attempted frequently stated aims of education, is to instill in me an appreciation for art- concerned—to remember that David istry. My attention was directed to such Copperfield was based on Dickens' per- impressions as "The little town of Dover sonal experience or to become so absorb- hid itself among the cliffs like a marine ed in the novel that one feels himself ostrich," "Jerry Cruncher reposed like to be David Copperfield, to enjoy neither a harlequin in bed," and "The crowd Scott nor Grey or to admire both equally,

[11] ;

is apparent. At worst, then, public school in discrimination ; and the few superior English has for me been destructive of students may devote their time to more its ends. At best, it has merely failed to practice in creative writing. Faults of be constructive. style found in all three classes may be

The courses, I admit, do not deserve indicated b}' teachers' comments on the sweeping condemnation. That many papers. In literature, even less trouble pupils are benefited by the drill in com- need be taken. Since "a taste for liter- position, I acknowledge. That few, pos- ature where none existed may be culti- sibly not more than ten per cent, sufifer vated by sufficient reading and training, from it is probable. That some students just as a taste for tomatoes may be ac- find their taste for books unimpaired by quired by eating enough of them," as intensive study of literature compulsory, Dr. Ruth Kelso has stated, a modicum deny is true. Furthermore, no one can of reading should be required; and the it not for the reading required that, were students should be asked to notice ex- in school, many would never become ac- quisite phrasing on the second reading, quainted with the classics. The flaws, so that continuity of thought in the first then, lie in inadaptability. reading will not be broken. Continuing In grade school, where only short the comparison of books and tomatoes, reading lessons and little mechanical drill I ask, may not aversion to books be in diction and sentence variation are formed by too much enforced reading, given, difficulties are avoided if the just as distaste for tomatoes may be teachers refrain from lavish praise, formed if one is obliged to eat too many which produces conceit and "fine writ- of them? Reducing the requirements to ing," and from bitter condemnation, those works necessary for admission to which is embarrassing and discouraging. mid-western colleges and universities and Some caution against pedantry, too, making other masterpieces optional might be advisable, but is not essential. sources of additional credit will provide In high school the problem is not so sufficient work to reveal latent taste for easily met as in grammar school. With- literature, will not demand so much out great inconvenience, however, a par- study that books become boring, and will tial solution may be found. Questions encourage voluntary reading of the on vocabulary and sentence variation classics. Those who, after familiarizing may be included in the placement tests. themselves with the literary works on Those utterly ignorant of such matters lists, still cannot appre- may profit from the present unqualified college entrance preachments on avoiding primer style ciate merit will profit little from an ex-

the bombastic, such as I, may be trained haustive study of famous authors.

[12] Agriculture Difficulties in My Community in 1933 Ruth Anderson

Theme 10, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

IT IS with disappointment and almost Finally, after days of hard, hard work, despair that the farmer of central Illi- the corn was planted. nois looks back on the work of the last Still it failed to rain, and the seeds year. After putting in crops that re- lay in the ground dormant. The pastures quired more than twice as much work as and meadows were so burned that be- usual, not only in cultivating them but cause of a scarcity of food, livestock had also in combating insects, the farmer to be sold. After endless weeks of realizes that he has not made enough hoping and praying, it rained. The far- money to pay expenses, much less keep mer began to change his attitude. He him through the winter. even dared hope that the hard work of Excessive rainfall prevented the far- early spring had not been in vain, for mer from beginning to prepare the soil prices were going up. But this was not until the middle of May. Because the to be. time was so short, it was necessary that One day a farmer in the community he work almost day and night to get the noticed that his oats field was covered crops planted. The rain became less and with white spots. Others found that less frequently, making the soil, hereto- their grain fields were similarly spotted. fore soaked, baked and hard. The Investigation proved that nearly every weather became unbearably hot, making grain field was infested with chinch it impossible to use horses for field work. bugs. These queer spots grew larger.

They had been used so little for field These tiny, red bugs ate everything in work during the spring that they were their way, leaving a black and burned not fit for hard work. Therefore the appearance in the territory they had farmer resorted to the tractor in spite of covered. The grain ripened prematurely. the high price of gasoline. Some fields of grain were not worth Thus the farmer of central Illinois be- cutting, and the average yield was only gan to prepare for his 1933 crops. For- fifteen bushels per acre. There was tunately, he had been able to plant his hardly enough grain for feed for the oats before the rains. He now set about coming year. The renter who vias forced plowing the cloddy soil. Minerals in the to sell a part of his crop would have to soil that should have made it break up buy feed. finely had been washed away by the But the trouble did not end there. rains. From early morning until late at These millions of tiny, red bugs were night, one could hear the unending grind forced to migrate to find food. So they of the tractors. The farmer did not stop moved in a steady line to the corn fields. even for meals, but ate his lunches in the There were so many and they moved field. Women and children did chores. so compactly that there seemed to be a

[13; <^ V

stream of blood between fields. The hard barriers were discontinued because they roads were greasy where the bugs that were so expensive and because the had been crossing were crushed by chinch bugs were now in a flying stage. motorists. In a few weeks the eggs that had been But the farmer did not stand by idly laid by the latter hatched. Corn fields and let these pests destroy his corn crop became generally infested, but now the too. He began to plow between his oats farmer could do nothing but stand by

and corn fields, working the soil until it and watch stalk after stalk of corn fall

was fine. Then he made a ridge which to the ground. Much of it was too in- he covered with creosote. This material fested even to be used for feed.

was not only expensive but also danger- The result is that Illinois has the ous to use, as a small amount on the smallest corn crop in forty-six years. It skin caused a burn. These miles of bar- would seem that the price would be

riers had to be tended each day. If the higher, but instead it has gone down wind blew some dust over the creosote, twenty cents since July. Now we see the the barrier was worthless. farmer, at the end of a hard season's About the middle of August the brood work, with less than one-half a crop for of bugs matured to a stage in which they which he can obtain only a low price, were less harmful. A few heavy rains facing unchanging taxes and debts. What destroyed many of them. Most of the can he do?

On Cows Virginia Kohl

Theme 17. Rhetoric I, 1933-34

COW enthusiast would not agree "Cows bring a deep tranquillity into

A with me ; nor would I expect him the spirit," says Benson in his essay to. Our attitudes would differ as our "The Farm Yard." But again I refer

degree of familiarity with the cow would to the point of observation. When I am differ. In examining his cow he prob- riding along a country road on a lovely

ably would find it necessary to pry her summer afternoon, I must admit that I

mouth open and look into it, handle her would be disappointed if I failed to see

head and her legs, and generally give her a number of cows ; they are a necessary as thorough a going-over as any doctor part of a lovely, peaceful view. Any would a patient. For my part, I would landscape—a beautiful sky, calm and be content merely to gaze at my cow restful in its lovely azure, fluffy clouds through a fence, with my hands in my floating so lazily by, the cool green of pockets and a clear field behind in case I the grass, the brook with its rippling

found it necessary to take to my heels. freshness— is made into a perfect whole

[14] —

by brown and white cows lying in the she apparently felt that she would be shade and blinking unconcernedly at the unhappy unless I were near, because world in general, or wandering idly wherever I was she seemed to be, ap- about, pausing to graze here and there. pearing at the most sudden and incon- That feeling, I however, which have venient times. If I sat outside to read, while riding in a car is by no means the she soon would find that the grass at same one I experience when in close my feet was the sweetest, and before I contact with a cow. she takes Then on a was aware of her presence, she would be different aspect entirely, and my mood standing before me, vigorously munch- is no longer one of tranquillity; it ing her delicacy with such carelessness changes, becomes alert, suspicious. A about what went with it that I half ex- farmer boy would consider my attitude pected to see a piece of my foot dang- highly amusing, but to me the matter is ling out of her mouth any minute. I no light, trivial one. Those brown eyes, desired nothing else so much as to be up which had looked so mild and gentle at and away from my dread foe, but if several hundred yards distance, at two I made the slightest movement, she feet suddenly lose all mildness and as- would raise her head and regard me with sume a diabolical glitter. They seem to eyes that reduced me to an inability to look me over from head to toe as though move, and I would sit there petrified endeavoring to locate the tenderest and until she had finished her repast and most tasty part, and as the beast walks wandered away. Such moments, I am slowly towards me, there seems to be sure, have made me old before my time. malice and horrible intentness in every Some people make pets of their cows, move. Maybe she is just friendly, as I and I will admit that there is something have been told again and again, or may- endearing about a cow's eyes. But again be it is simply idle curiosity that prompts I mention the difference in the point of her to examine me with such unusually view. at fearlessly popping eyes and hair sticking so oddly Looked and even affectionately, they are always compar- on end; nevertheless, I would rather be in a car, riding by and watching her able to the pathos found in the eyes graze alone on the hillside. on a warm, starry night—of a pair of

Last summer I spent two memorable moonstruck lovers. But viewed person- weeks in the North Woods with some ally, they appear to me to have a male- friends who owned a cow. This animal, volent glitter denoting man-eating tend- "calm and peaceful" though she was, was encies, and when I do such viewing, I my constant dread and terror, and kept always desire ample protection near at me living perpetually with one ear cocked hand and a strong fence between my for her. I seemed to fascinate her, and cow and me.

[is: A Type of Beauty Louise Trimble

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

'T*HE grandstand is packed. A band A good cow will show other geometric * begins to blare. A horse trots into designs. Let us consider an airplane the circle of bright lights. Thousands view, for example. Looking from above, of eyes watch the smooth, dainty action one should be able to draw an isosceles of its feet as it changes pace. It proudly triangle, the apex being at the shoulders, arches its neck and tosses its head. "How and the base a straight line between the beautiful!" is the exclamation which hip bones. rises to all lips. But have you ever seen Structure—that is, good structure—is anyone standing, mouth agape, admiring necessary for milk production. A cow a cow? There are very few people who must have a large capacity for feed in really appreciate the beauty of this ex- order to produce much milk. For this cellent source of vitamins A, R, C, and reason, a good cow must have well- D. sprung ribs, set so far apart that one can

It is not difficult to see the difference lay two or three fingers between. A good between a well-cared- for, pure-bred cow milk-producing cow will have large milk and a scrub which has been left to fend wells, and veins, and a large udder. for itself on a practically barren pas- Milk wells are located at the beginning ture. This is mostly a difiference in the of the veins. It is here that the real hide and hair. Rut to pick the most work of "manufacturing" the milk is beautiful cow from a group of cows in done. The veins run in a network on a show ring where all are well kept is the stomach of the cow. If the cow is one thing which makes the judge get milking heavily, these veins are large and gray. prominent. They enter the udder at the

First, let us consider the cow's "figure" front. The udder of a good cow is well or general structure. A cow is geometri- joined to the body. It is not a "bag," as cally designed. No Mae West curves for it is sometimes called. It is level on the her ! She must have a wedge-shaped bottom, and it continues the lower slope body when viewed from the side. The of the body. The teats are evenly placed back line must be long and straight, and of the same length. Everyone has forming the top of the wedge. The seen a poor, sorry wreck of a cow whose underneath line along the stomach and udder has pulled away from its body, udder must be sloping from the front and which may have anywhere from to the back. From the pin bones, the three to six teats, all of which are placed bones between which the tail is set, one on different levels and are of different should be able to draw a straight line sizes and shapes. meeting the sloping line at the back of We have talked about the "business" the udder. part of the cow. Now we turn to the

[16] y"^^

Other parts which are just as important. that there should be a rather large in- A great deal of beauty is added to a cow dentation between the eyes. The muzzle if it has a good head. The thing most should be long and broad and the nose desired in the general appearance of a broad with large nostrils. Although interest. This is cow is alertness and best horns are not necessary, they add a great expressed by the eyes and ears. A good deal to the general appearance of the animal has large, bright, slightly pro- animal. truding eyes. In fact, the more bulging Next time you see a cow, look for the eyes, the better. I remember a bull these things and compare one cow with which was noticeably cross-eyed. The will find yourself becom- eyes were so prominent and hooked that another. You they were ridiculous. The face should be ing more and more interested imtil one long and "dished." By "dished" I mean day you will say, "How beautiful!"

Backstage at the Opera

John R. Hamilton

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1933-3-1 LAST Christmas vacation, a friend us to the performance and satisfy our and I, searching for a way to get curiosity about the backstage aspect of into the Civic Opera House, chanced to an opera house. When we applied at the find ourselves before the stage entrance. stage door, we were admitted and sent

It was just before the opening perform- up in an elevator to the huge dressing ance of the new Chicago Grand Opera room for supers. There an Italian at- Company, and Madame J was to tendant flung a bundle of gaudy clothes sing the title role in Puccini's La Tosca, to each of us and yelled for us to put two reasons why the house was sold out them on and get down to the stage in even before we could get home from col- ten minutes because the stage-manager lege four da^'s previous. wanted a rehearsal.

A sudden inspiration came to me ; we About fifty boys of varied nationality could try to get on the stage as "supers." were struggling into all sorts of cos- Such an adventure would both admit tumes. In a few minutes, that throng of

17 the twentieth century was transformed cipals came onto the stage to make sure into a motley crowd of early nineteenth that everj'thing they needed was in century priests, peasants, and soldiers. place. As Bob hurried away to give My friend and I found ourselves to be five-minute warnings to those appearing Swiss guards and were sent down to the in the first act, he told us in no polite armory for breastplates and helmets. terms to get over to the side of the stage No medieval castle could have boasted and keep out of the way. Supers, being of a more formidable and complete the lowest form of operatic life, com- armory than the former Civic Opera mand very little respect. Naturally, Company had assembled on the fifth several of us, seeing nobody of authority floor of the opera house. There were to restrain us, ventured to examine hundreds of muskets and pistols of all things. The setting for the first act of classes and periods, Roman armor, an- Tosca is the interior of the Church of tique chain mail, great shields of tough- San Andrea della Valla, which appeared ened leather for the Wagner music like a huge cavern bound on three sides dramas, shelf upon shelf of helmets, and by walls of splotchy canvas marble and innumerable other warlike accoutrements on the fourth by the heavy velvet cur-

— all of correct historical design. We tain. Before the curtain opened, this were buckled into gleaming breastplates canvas church was a quiet sanctuary and fitted with helmets that soon made from the confusion and bustle that our heads ache. Then we hustled down reigned in the wings. It was mysterious, to the great stage where all was in wild too, as the electricians experimented with confusion. varicolored lights. Suddenly Bob ap- Some one put heavy halberds into our peared from nowhere and literally kicked hands and pushed us through piles of us off the stage.

scenery and stage furniture to the right Mr. P , the musical director, hand side of the wings where the stage- came up out of a hole near the curtain, manager, Mr. D , was perishing spoke several words to Mr. D , and with excitement. The curtain was sched- returned down that hole again. All noise

uled to go up in twenty minutes, and the immediately stopped as if by magic ; rich scenery was not yet complete. The added sweeping tones floated back to us from responsibility caused by our appearance the orchestra pit, and the great rose and drove that overburdened man to violent gold curtain was drawn back on another swearing. However, he marshalled us operatic epoch in Chicago. From the into a column of twos and pointed out auditorium, the opening of the curtain is the direction we were to march ; then he grandly impressive, but backstage the watched us with despair as we stumbled performance has begun before one real- down a flight of scenery steps in our at- izes that the conductor has had time to tempts to carry the immense halberds get to his podium. gracefully. As the supers did not take part in the Finally he gave up and entrusted us performance until near the end of the to "Bob," who must be the toughest call first act, we lolled about in the wings, boy on any operatic stage. Bob rehearsed occasionally catching a few notes of the us individually until we learned how to score, but all was so incoherent that we descend steps without bumping the hal- gave up listening and instead looked at berds. Meanwhile several of the prin- the strange sight around us. Above where

[18] we were sitting was a space over one Suddenly a hush fell upon the throng hundred feet high in which were stored waiting in the wings. Mme. J had back drops, odd pieces of scenery, an come upon the stage and was advancing enormous cyclorama, and stage machin- in ostentatious fashion to make her en- ery. The proscenium arch, although it trance from the left wings. Mme. appears large from the auditorium, is a J — is a grand prima donna of the relatively small opening backstage. Di- old school who attempts to impress rectly behind where we sat on the right people by a brazen flare of uncontrolled side of the stage were hundreds of pul- egotism which she pleases to have known leys used for raising and lowering as her "temperament." In a measure scenery in the loft. Directly across the she has been successful, for people flock stage were an open space for the storing to hear her out of mere curiosity if not of small properties and the big doors for her art. A backstage conductor through which scenery was unloaded signalled; Mme. J spoke to her from delivery trucks. Everything on the maid, made the sign of the cross, and stage was fireproof except the wooden at the sound of a particular note seized floor. Strict precautions are taken when the tenor, who came to meet her, by the any form of fire is used in a per- hand, and stepped out in front of him to formance. I was told that a certain stage receive the spontaneous applause of the hand is appointed to watch the burning audience. From then on that per- candles used in the second act of Tosca. formance was a series of brutal exploita- The supers are singular individuals. tions of Puccini's music. Most of them come down to the theatre Our participation came at the close of every night to appear for a few minutes the act when a great procession of in the opera. That supplies the glamour clergy and peasants led by Swiss guards in their lives. Some of them have an enters the church to the strains of pom- almost insane affection for the opera and pous music and ringing of bells. As soon spend so much energ\' discussing the as we were all gathered on the stage, various singers—each super believes him- the orchestra and singers began the self to be an infallible critic—and wait- finale, and the curtain fell on the first act ing around stages to absorb the glory accompanied by thunderous applause reflected from others that they stunt the from the audience. Immediately the development of their own personalities stage hands demolished the church scene, and talents. Life backstage is a medley and we fled to the dressing rooms. Our of splendour and shabbiness. debut was over.

[w: — *. p

Fresh from the Country Gerald Peck

Theme 17, Rhetoric I, 1933-34 IT WAS only a few days after gradu- vibrated, and people—wherever did so

ation from high school that, with am- many come from ! Saturday night in Pin- bition generated by a superficial self- hook was mild indeed compared to this

confidence and cock-sureness, I boarded clatter. I did not know, however, that I a northbound train for Chicago to begin was yet in an outlying district, and that

work at my first full-time position in much greater sights awaited me ; nor

the office of a railroad company. I was could I interpret my friend's laughter

also somewhat elated at the thought of when I asked if we might not walk to

my first train ride of consequence ; in "town" before dinner—a mere ten miles

fact, it was the second time I had ever or so in one direction, I later learned.

traveled by rail. My life thus far had Next morning 1 awakened "with the

been rather sheltered, as I had spent chickens" but did not miss the crow of those first seventeen years in a rural the rooster nor the moo of the cow. My community and had escaped seldom, and interest was attracted by the roar of the

never far, from the confines of the city, and I was astonished to discover "Okaw Valley." the sun creeping over the northern hori-

That exhilarating feeling of self-im- zon, right out of the lake, whereas it had portance increased as the clicking of always before risen in the east. There

steel upon steel carried me toward Chi- might have been the impulse to lie in bed cago. As the immense factories, found- and absorb as much as possible of this

ries, and railway yards of Chicago's out- new and entrancing atmosphere, had it skirts began to appear, my interest was not been for an even greater eagerness to attracted by the magnitude of industry, get out and be a part of this new world

which by comparison reduced my sense to view the whole as a part of it. After of importance. As a result, that heat of a breakfast that I was hardly conscious

enthusiasm which had mounted so high of eating, I had my first experience with

received a little chill, but only momen- the elevated as I traveled downtown with tarily. There was just so much more to my friend. At the first curve, the shrill be conquered. screeching of the wheels of the train

Fortunately, at the station I was met against the track caused chills to course by a friend compared to whose kindli- down my back, although at the same time

ness that of the Good Samaritan would I affected (or at least attempted to af-

have shrunk into insignificance. Surely fect) a brave and nonchalant front. I

this was another world from that which wondered if we were going to the west I had known. Auto horns sounded, coast, but my friend assured me we street cars clanked, brakes shrieked, train were traveling northward rather than and factory whistles blew, all industry westward and that we were onlv mid-

[20] way to the loop. From this ride I about two months' accumulated work received one of my first distasteful before me. In sjiite of my newly ac- opinions of the city, for the "L" ran quired timidity, I still had a strong de- through the backyards of the slums. No sire to make my work completely satis- grass, no tree, no bit of nature was in factory—in fact, that desire was too evidence. The filth, the run-down and strong for efficient results. Lack of mus- crumpling buildings, the low class of the cular coordination caused the keys to people on the streets, the odor, and the jumble, the wrong letter to strike at the noise—all were most repellent. I found right time, or the right letter to strike later, however, that this was only one at the wrong time. I carefully placed my perspective of Chicago—there are many right forefinger on the / and was rather other and beautiful sections. surprised to find that the print it pro-

After we arrived downtown, my duced on the paper was an /. No trick friend, having given explicit direction, was being played on me. My head was in left me, and it was then for the first time a whirl, and after a couple of hours of in my life that I sensed amid the whirl work with every muscle tense and body of a big city an utterly-all-alone feeling. rigid, I thought my back surely would However, there was no turning back break, or had broken. Some fortunate then ; in some manner not to this day and innate determination strengthened known to me, I reached my destination. me to endure the day. As five-thirty

The building was enormous beyond my neared, I drew a sigh of relief, with the

feeble imagination ; later I appreciated anticipation of rest and relaxation being that it was beautiful, but I was in no near at hand, but such was not my fate. mood to see in it any beauty at that My boss called me to his desk ; he had time. Upon entering I found the place some work which had to be done that seething with action. After some reluc- day, and I was the unfortunate one se- tant inquiry I found that room 1104 was lected to remain overtime. That body on the eleventh floor, but it was not until reserve about which we are told in hy-

I had made a breath-taking round trip to giene class must have carried me through the twentieth floor that I learned that the overtime period. When the extra only the local elevator stopped at the work was finished, I was told the regu- eleventh floor. By the time I reached the lations, hours of work, and remunera-

desired room, my cock-sureness of the tion ; it was the latter that dealt the fatal day before had dwindled appreciably. blow to my spirit. My salary was to be

I was so meek as to be almost speechless, somewhat less than that previously sug- but with great effort I introduced myself, gested in correspondence. Dejected, I in a voice little above a whisper. groped toward the elevator and pressed The chief clerk of one of the vice- the button under which was written presidents took me to the fourteenth "down," but I received no immediate floor, where he introduced me to the response. I therefore rather foolishly as- head of another department. To his 'T sumed the elevators had ceased operation am pleased to meet you," I could respond for the day, and trudged down twenty- with only an awkward gesture. Soon, eight flights of stairs. After a tiresome however, I found myself at a desk, with two-hour ride by a circuitous route on a typewriter and what I believed must be elevated train, street car, bus, and finally

[21] taxi, I found my way home and to a bed some of m}' lost self-confidence, but which I venture to say never before had never in that time did I grow to feel that quite so appreciative an occupant. I was anything more than a minor cog Four years' experience returned to me in a great industrial machine.

Both the Same Florence Stone

Theme 12, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

"QTEP, kick, flex, kick, step, kick, flex, slippers because they were not as tight as •^ kick." she thought they could be.

A line of very young children stood in 'T* T^ T* T* ^ "Step, kick, flex, kick, step, kick, flex, the middle of the room apparently fol- kick." lowing instructions. The room was quite A line of young college men and large with a huge mirror on its forewall women stood in the center of the audi- and bars of different heights extending torium floor apparently following in- its length. Before this line stood the instructions. Before them stood the instructor. Since I was the piano accom- structor. I had the good fortune of being panist of I this class, was more or less piano accompanist for the chorus of an onlooker, I and came to the con- Good Morning, Dearie, a musical comedy clusion that it is not the easiest thing in recently given on this campus. Being the world to teach dancing to youngsters again a sort of onlooker, I came to an- five, six, and seven years old. Little Joan other conclusion—a group of college stu- would suddenly decide to put her brace- tlents is not much easier to teach than a let on the chair in the dressing room. group of youngsters. When instructed to Leaving the line, she would nonchalantly meet at four o'clock, one chorine was certain to straggling in at walk to the chair and slip off the bracelet. come twenty after four. Without giving much more She would think it funny and begin to notice than the youngsters gave, some giggle ; that was enough. The whole line fellow was certain to leave the chorus of children would begin to laugh. When line to go out to smoke or buy food. asked to try a cart wheel, they would When the instructor asked the girls to absolutely refuse unless the instructor do a cart wheel over the fellows' knees, did likewise. There was a girl assisting she was sure to get the answer, "I can't the instructor whose duty it was to do it ; let me see you try." One after- demonstrate all the steps, but her per- noon the director of the show came in to formance did not satisfy them. One see how much the dancing chorus had ac- afternoon the director of the conserva- complished. At the time, they were going through tory came down to see how the class was a number of the opening scene. The dance was half finished when progressing. It was going nicely until someone came in paging Steve with the one little blonde, who was in the midst message that a certain Eleanor was wait- of doing a fairy dance, suddenly sat ing outside and did not intend to wait down to adjust the ribbons on her ballet much longer. Steve left.

[22] "OleMan" Poor Dorothy Deal

Theme 13, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 HE MOVED onto the poorest farm in A year later the same team pulled the the neighborhood, his sorry horses same load down the same road in the op- breasting the keen March wind with posite direction. "Ole Man" Poor was stolid pertinacity and dragging the moving out. This time there was one clumsy wagon heavily through the deep- more on the high wagon seat, for the cut ruts that sucked with hungry mouths frail woman held a small bundle close at the worn steel rims of its wheels. The to her old brown coat with hands that crate of dispirited fowls on the top of were encased in too large shucking the swaying load of household goods gloves. The wagon wheels whined com- seemed ready to cascade to the ground at plainingly, and I looked up from an ice- any moment. On the wagon seat, hud- coated pump to see the burdened wagon dled together in their drab wraps, were with its owner at its side outlined in a a small woman and several little chil- red gold halo against a cold sunset. In- dren ; as the wagon jolted onward, they voluntarily my eyes followed the plod- were jerked passively with its motion. ding man and the plodding horses until A figure, bowed against the fury of the all I could see was a large black object wind and awkward in a shabby sheepskin in the distance with a small black object jacket, "Ole Man" Poor trudged stub- persistently beside it. "Ole Man" Poor bornly by his team, clucking sympatheti- was running, with dust in his eyes, try- callv to them. ing to catch up with life.

[23] 18 Angle Street, Hamilton, Bermuda John Waldo

Theme 12, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

TURNING off Victoria Drive, we small landings which led to the ornate paused before a heavy door set wrought-iron balconies that extended flush with the sidewalk in the high fa- across three sides of the patio. A mag- cade of an old house. After raising the nificent bougainvillea vine, a mass of huge brass knocker and letting it fall, we blooms, was twined around the faded heard the muffled mutterings of a voice. green railings of the stairs. The door swung open, and, framed in In the center of the courtyard, sur- the narrow opening, stood an old negress. rounded by many vari-colored pots of I have She was the ugliest negro woman flowers, plaved a fountain. A bronze

; black that it ever seen her skin was so Narcissus peered down into the blue the whites of seemed almost blue, and basin which teemed with goldfish, swim- yellowish. her half-closed eves were ming among fronds of water-plants. With arms hanging nearly to her knees, The patio was paved with gray flag- she walked with a shuffling gait that re- stones, between the cracks of which were sembled the slinking of an animal. See- growing grasses and mosses. The place ing my wide eyes fixed upon her face, was damp with the early morning dew, she smiled at me with a sudden display except in those spots where the sun of white teeth, and stood aside that we shone directly down. The bougainvillea might enter. We went in, stepping over and wistaria, which followed the grace- the high threshold. ful curves of the fan-shaped windows of Blue-gray flagstones made an uneven the old house, swayed back and forth in floor in the hall into which we had come. the soft morning breeze and from time This passage must have been fully sixty to time let fall a few purple petals. The feet long and perhaps fifteen feet wide. whole patio was like some old print of The long bare walls of mouldering mellow hue, the colours of which have plaster, which at one time had been been made dim by the passing of years. tinted green but which were now peeling An old lady seated near the stairs at off in places showing brownish patches, a small table laid for breakfast— I had had here and there a space where the not seen her at first got up upon seeing dull red bricks of the walls showed — friend and kissed him. In a moment through. The high ceiling was beamed my they were deep in talk. I stood gazing at with huge unfinished timbers. At the the green parrakeet which was perched end of the hall, through an arch, was a silver goblet on the breakfast patio in which palms and bamboo and upon a bright and bougainvillea were growing. table. It gazed at me with a between the times it dipped The house, with its vast, pale pink wicked eye walls, surrounded the large courtyard. its bill into the water. I cannot remem- Across the courtyard in one of the ber now what we talked about, so in- corners rose a spiral staircase, winding terested was I in the patio and all the three stories, stopping now and then at unfamiliar things about me.

[241 "Develop" Nancy Branyan

Impromptu, Theme 17, Rhetoric !!, 1933-34

XT 7'HILE, generally, I do not argue vious day's assignment, and concluded ' ' with the masters over the spelling tliat the teacher must have made the of words, and am certainly not of the mistake. So, in preparing the lesson by "nite" school, there are two words over writing each word ten times, as we had which I have labored for many years. been taught, I wrote "develope." I heard

One, "necessary," I have drilled myself someone .suggest to Miss Smith that on until I have a little better than fifty- there should be an "e" added to the sec- fifty chance of apportioning the correct ond word, and her hesitant attempt at an number of "c's" and "s's." The other, explanation that so it might seem but

"develop," I never write without think- there wasn't. But, from some perversity, ing of the senselessness of "envelope" I refused to allow the conversation to and "develop." Perhaps if the spelling penetrate my mind. did not remind me of one of my more "Ellen and Anne have the best grades unpleasant experiences, I would not have in spelling for this week, so they may such a violently antagonistic feeling to- choose sides," announced Miss Smith. ward those who selected the particular Ellen and I rose self-consciously, trying combination to form the word. The not to look smug, walked to the front of matter is laughable now, but at the time the room between whispering rows of

!," it was such a blow to my pride that it "choose me 1 choose me and solemnly became almost a tragedy. guessed at which page number the When T was in the fifth grade of teacher would open her book, to decide grammar school, I was under a most which would have first choice. I was sympathetic teacher, and I actually be- lucky, and quickly called out the name lieve that, proportionately, I did far of the "third best speller." Of course, better work in that year than I have ever we knew fairly well the abilities of each done since. For the first time I began student, but there was also loyalty to to excel to a certain degree in spelling. friends whose papers were inevitably The event of each Friday afternoon was spotted with red checks to be considered, a spelling contest, and usually my best and each selection was a weighty matter.

friend and greatest rival and I were The ethics of the thing must be carefully captains. observed. The spelling assignment for the Fri- At last we were lined up, the boys day of my fall included the word shaking their fists at one another across "develop." I looked at the word, in the the room, the girls shifting nervously teacher's clear writing on the blackboard, from one foot to the other. The board referred back to "envelope" in the pre- was erased.

2^ ;

Because I had had first choice, the to overbalance my —actual knowledge teacher tossed the first word to Ellen, and yet there it was "de-ve-lo-p-e." who spelled it in her usual rapid, non- "No," said Miss Smith regretfully, chalant manner. nodding to the next boy on Ellen's side.

Then —-"Anne, 'de-vel-op,' " pro- I reddened horribly, my face felt as if nounced Miss Smith distinctly. My it were in flames, my eyes stung with heart jumped maddeningly. It was the tears that must not fall. Head high, I first strife I had definitely experienced marched to my seat amidst a dead between my own moral convictions and silence. Sportsmanship and the fear that the opinions accepted by the world at I might break and make a scene held my large. Subconsciously, I knew exactly thirty fellow-classmates immobile. I sat how to spell the word, knew before I staring straight ahead, listening to the began that I would spell it wrong, that words flung back and forth, writhing I was "letting my side down," that I was under the pity heavy in the room. Even- allowing a senseless decision of my own tually, I could even smile.

Cables and Food, Deferred

G. W. James

Theme 17, Rhetoric II, 1932-33

A^7E HAD arrived at the Gare de tinctly mirrored the passing vehicles. At ' ' Lyon on a gray, drizzly, Sunday the far side of the square a bicycle morning in June. The fishermen of skidded, dismounting its rider and

Paris, equipped with all the parapher- scattering over the street the breakfast nalia of their avocation, were issuing rolls which had been contained in a huge from the subway entrance in the square wire basket fastened to the handle bars. and hurrying through the portals of the Deliberately the man retrieved his badly great station, intent on a day's fishing on soiled burden, ignoring the passing the Marne or one of its tributaries. Fine motorists who heaped torrents of stac- drops of rain covered the pavement with cato French upon his head for blocking a gleaming film of water which indis- traffic. No one offered to help him.

[26] We stood on the steps of the station traveler's visas which authorized us only and gloomily absorbed our first impres- to traverse the country, not to tarry sions of Paris while we struggled men- within it. An}' contact with the authori- tally for some avenue of escape from the ties, who would immediately demand dilemma in which we found ourselves. sight of our passports, would result in Our only monetary assets were a few the American consul's being informed of Swiss francs. They might be sufficient to our presence. That gentleman would send a cable requesting help, but how probably ship us to New York at once, would we provide ourselves with food via steerage. Aside from the undesir- and a bed until the reply came ? ability of such travel, we wished to see "Well," said my companion, "which do more of Europe, after reenforcing our you choose — temporary or permanent finances— if we suceeded in such reen- starvation?" forcement. "I could decide better after a good A more immediate problem was break- breakfast," I suggested. fast. From the Bourse we walked "Yes, but we may not have enough seemingly endless miles without finding money to send a cable and buy a break- a restaurant which promised a meal at a of limited fast too ; so we better send the cable price within the range our first." purse. On the contrary, the public eating

I assented and we sought a telegraph houses seemed to grow more elaborate as office. Inquiry of a guide in the station, we proceeded. Eventually we found our- who glared when we failed to produce selves on the Place de la Concorde. Even the expected tip, gave us the information the magnificence of that famous square, tliat the Bourse housed a telegraph office of the wide Champs Elysees to our right which was open on Sunday. A thirty with the Arc de Triomphe distant down minute walk brought us to the famous its wide vista, of the Tuileries to our financial center where, on the first floor, left, were not sufficient to alleviate our we found the desired office. In charge hunger which the long walk had stimu- was a sleepy clerk who, despite his early lated to the proportions of a dull pain. morning letharg}', spoke surprisingly in- The sun, which had long since dis- telligible English. From him we learned persed the clouds of the earlier morning, that the cost of sending the message now cast its summer heat down upon the would be a little less than the value of city and urged us on. The Seine and the our Swiss money at the existing rate of Pont Royal lay before us. The district exchange. We could not expect a reply beyond was far less pretentious than the before Tuesday, for the cable would one we were leaving. We hurried across, have to go at deferred rates. Having led by a hope that somewhere in its paid, we received a few French francs depths we might find a restaurant where as change. food could be purchased with the few

Outside the Bourse we faced the great, francs still at hand. In a side street we gray city and wondered in what manner came upon a little food house, obscure the two intervening days would pass. We and, we hoped, not expensive. We were in the unfortunate position of being entered and sat at a little table in the re- in the country without the proper visas freshing coolness of its quiet interior. on our passports, having induced the We scanned the menu before us. The

French consul at Berne to grant us only item it ofTered which we could

[27: ;

afford was bouillon, an article of diet tures, and in regretting our inability to hardlj' adequate to our appetites. speak French. Dusk found us on the Suddenly my companion got up from Champs Elysees. We sat on the benches his chair saying, "Order two bowls of it which flank the sidewalks along that

I'll be back in a minute." famous thoroughfare. Endless streams I ordered by the undignified process of of pedestrians and traffic passed before pointing out on the menu the article we our eyes. Occasionally a gendarme saun- desired and sat wondering at mj' friend's tered by, eyeing us critically, but finding sudden impulse. Presently he returned, us involved in no overt infraction of the carrying a long slender loaf of bread for city's laws, moved on. Slowly the dusk which he had paid a franc. It was a faded into night, the street lamps were superb product of the baker's art. Its lighted, traffic and pedestrians began to crisp golden crust tantalized our hunger diminish in number, and hunger again as we waited for the garcon to bring the seized us. On an obscure little street be- bouillon. We wondered hazily whether hind the nearby Hotel Crillon, where the the management would object to our diplomats of many nations dined in lux- crass impoliteness in thus bringing a urious splendor, we found a little bou- portion of our meal with us. When the langerie, redolent with the delicious odor waiter brought the steaming bowls of of baking bread. We parted with one pleasant!}' odorous liquid, he pointed of our two remaining coins and returned volubly at the bread. Seeing that we did to our benches where we ate in silence. not understand his words, he disap- Unaccompanied by a liquid, the bread peared into the kitchen, returning at lacked appeal. Our hunger again satis- once with a knife. Taking the loaf and fied, we moistened our bread-dried its paper wrapper from our table, he throats at a fountain in the nearby park. placed them on an adjacent table and We spent the night, which was not too sliced the bread diagonally into huge, cold, asleep on newspapers in a secluded snow-white slices which fell away rapid- spot in the park. Voices of early morn- ly from his dexterous thrusts with the ing pedestrians woke us at dawn. We keen edge. This hospitable task accom- rose and sat for a while in the park, then plished, he returned the bread and left returned to our previous day's wander- us to our long delayed food. ings. It was Monday ; we could not hope We ate voluptuously but leisurely, em- for a reply to our cable until the follow- ploj'ing the bouillon as a welcome condi- ing day. In late forenoon we spent the ment for the bread which alone would last franc for another loaf of bread. We soon have palled on our tastes, despite passed the ensuing night sleeping fitfully its visual appeal. No crumb of bread, in the same park. nor any drop of the tasty liquid, re- Tuesda}' morning we hurried to the mained when we had finished. Our telegraph office in the Bourse only to hunger was satisfied ; we became more learn that no reply had been received and philosophic about the future. Having that it might not arrive before Wednes- paid our bill and departed, we possessed day. We face the prospect of two full but two francs. daj's without food. The remainder of the afternoon v.as Tuesday afternoon we visited the spent in aimless wandering, in viewing American Express office hoping that sights made familiar by rotogravure pic- there would be letters awaiting us. There

[28: ;

were none. Tired of walking and sur- was Avalking toward nic. 1 greeted the feited with the hard benches on the two with a cordiality which transcended Champs Elysces, we sat in the American any mere sentimental friendship. Here Express office writing letters on station- was relief from deadening hunger; here ery furnished for the purpose. were the providers of a bath and a clean I had just finished one letter and was bed ; here were men who could return us starting another when the sound of a to a semblance of respectability. We familiar voice drifted to me from the hustled the two out to a restaurant, and center of the big room. I looked up. For tliat night usurped the bed in their hotel a moment 1 could not believe that two room while they obligingly sleiit on the friends, from ^vhom we had parted in floor. Boulogne, Italy, were standing there be- They played the part of Good Samari- fore me. Before I could overcome my tans until the cable was answered. surprise, one of them had seen me and

JJiil.

Buried Alive

E. E. Edwards

Tlwnic 21, Rhetoric II, 1932-33 THE foreman's order to quit for the dimly see the dynamite man putting the day finally came. It was with relief finishing touches to a charge of powder.

that I tossed aside my pick, leaned Each night as we left the shaft, the dy- against the last line of coal cars, and namiter would touch oiif his charge, so mopped the grimy sweat from my brow timed that, within fifteen minutes after

a hard daj-'s work in a coal mine is we left, it would explode and loosen the enough to tire the hardiest of men. The coal for the morrow's work. There were minutes passed slowly. We were await- eight of us in the shaft. Most of us had ing the arrival of the electric tram which worked for years for the Monarch Com- would carr}- us to the surface. In the liany and were veterans. Johnny Breen,

far end of our small chamber T could a youth of about twenty, was sitting be-

[29] side me. He was the newest man among dust. The finely divided particles of dust us. He had started about a week ago, hanging suspended in the air had been after his father had died and left him ignited by our carbide gas head lamps. to support his mother, three sisters, and I remembered seeing a flash of flame a younger brother. which was quickly blotted out when I We finally heard the tram rumbling on was thrown to the ground. "The high, the iron rails still some distance from vaulted roof saved us from getting our chamber. The foreman gave the burned," explained the Pole. "The ex- order to light the fuse of the charge, plosion was mostly above us." and we moved toward the entrance of "The dynamite !" I screamed, sud- the chamber. Old John, the Pole, joined denlv remembering that John had lit the us a few minutes later, after he had fuse just before the roof caved in. He touched oiif the fuse. Suddenly I lieard raced back to the other end of the cham- a terrific roar, and the ceiling of our ber as fast as his wobbly legs could carry shaft tumbled to the ground not ten him. I looked at my watch and fervently feet in front of us. I was thrown to prayed that he could find the fuse in the ground by the jar. As I got to my time. He had two minutes' grace before

feet, and was blinded and choked by the the charge would explode. A minute fine particles of coal dust, I moved passed, and I heard a triumphant yell. farther into the shaft, where the air was He came out of the darkness holding a much better and I could see more clearly. few inches of sputtering fuse in one There were four men beside me who hand and his knife in the other. "Py were unhurt. Breen was lying on the golly, dot vos close," he said. I sank ground before me. "Johnny! are you slowly to the ground. My knees were hurt?" I cried. He stirred and sat up as weak from the strain, and I was trem-

I shook his shoulder. He was only dazed bling like a leaf in a breeze. by the shock and was soon on his feet After we had rested for about an

after I had mopped his face with a wet hour, we took our picks and shovels and handkerchief. Then I tied a wet hand- started digging our way out of the en- kerchief around my nose and, with the trance. We sweated and strained for other men, walked back towards the three hours, steadily picking and shovel- scene of the explosion. We found the ing away the tons of loose coal. For other three lying unconscious on the floor every bit we shoveled back into the of the chamber. We carried them back chamber twice as much rolled into its with us and began to revive them. Two place. It was no use. We gave up and were not hurt seriously and were soon settled ourselves to wait for rescue from up and around. The foreman remained the outside. My throat was parched and unconscious, and nothing which we did dry. I walked to the barrel to quench my could revive him. His head was bleed- thirst. T could not believe my eyes. The ing from a cut, and his skull seemed to barrel, half full before, had now only a have been fractured. After we had few inches of water in the bottom and bandaged his wound and made him as that was fast disappearing. The force comfortable as possible, we went back to of the explosion had slightly spread the the cave-in to survey the damage. The staves, and in our excitement practically entrance was completely blocked. The all of our water supply had quietly explosion had probably been caused by drained away. Calling the others I set

[30] to work saving what little water was left. He was talking about his wife and chil- We raised the barrel and poured the dren. The air was getting worse. I tore water into empty lunch cans. We had open my shirt, but did not relieve the just enough to fill two of them. tight feeling around my chest and neck. The hours slowly passed. The fore- My throat and mouth were parched and man began to moan. I took the little re- dry. I spoke in a hoarse whisper to maining water to him and, holding his John, "How do you think they will reach head, let him carefully sip the liquid. He us?" lay back and closed his eyes. It was now "They will drill through from the twelve o'clock. We had been trapped in upper level," he said. "That would be the chamber for nearly seven hours. The their best bet. The entrance is probably air was getting stuffy and thick. I made blocked for fifty or sixty yards." the men put out all the head lights except Time dragged slowly. The air was so one. The light from it sent weird thick and close that we were breathing shadows flickering through the cavern. with increasing difficulty. I began to The foreman's face gleamed white cough and choke more frequently. The through the semi-darkness. The room fine dust irritated my throat and made it seemed cloudy and misty. "How long do feel like fire. What was that? I thought you think the air will last?" I asked the I heard a faint thumping above us. The Pole. "Three hours at the most," he silence was deathly as we strained to replied. Breen began to blubber. I catch the sound. All the men heard it walked over to him and tried to console now and they sighed with relief. "They him. "We'll get out soon now," I said. had better hurry before it is too late," He began to scream and beat his fists on spoke John in a weak voice. The the wall. "Let me out!" he cried. I minutes grew longer. We could hear the grabbed and shook him. He sank sob- whine of the electric drills now. The bing to the floor. Two of the men, room began to whirl. I sank lower upon Italians, were praying in their mother the ground. The thumping of the picks tongue. It reminded me of a priest grew louder. Bits of coal began to fall whom I once heard at a Catholic funeral. from the ceiling to our left. I was fast Another hour passed. I gave the re- losing consciousness. I heard a crash. maining bit of water to the foreman. He I grew limp as I felt myself being lifted, was delirious, and raved and moaned. and that is the last that I remembered.

[31] iz

Vol.3 MAY, 1934 No. 4

CONTENTS

PEONY SEASON 1 Marian Kennicott WHERE THE CITY ENDS 3 Robert Layer SALT CREEK BOTTOM-LANDS 3 William G. Ellsberry THE SPANISH PEOPLE 6 Mildred J. Wilson A UNITED WORLD, TOMORROW « Florence Sims BIG TOWN, LITTLE TOWN 10 Kenneth Nelson ON READING 12 George Troutt ON THE FINE ART OF CONVERSATION ... 14 Mauracc H. Wells SUMMER SYMPHONIES IS Clayton Kirkpatrick MY FAVORITE BUILDING 1« John R. Hamilton A TROPICAL STORM 17 Robert DeWolf THE BEST HOBBY 18 Harold Lancaster

••I COULD SEE ANY PERSON DIE" 18 Isca Wiley SUNNY CLIMES 19 Dale Lindsay TOMMY 20 Dorothy Deal A SHADOW 22 Genevieve Myers MY WEATHER 22 H. H. Benninger THE COG 23 Britt Blair STAGE FRIGHT 24 Bruce Avery SUBDUING VIRGIN LAND 25 Lawrence Lauck MINIATURE HIGHWAYS 27 Robert Arnold MY IMPRESSIONS OF OBERAMMERGAU ... 29 Lloyd Nemeyer jMy\}A PUBLISHED BY THE RHETORIC STAFF. UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS, URBANA

—

Peony Season Marian Kennicott

Theme 6. Rhetoric II, 1933-34

XT /HAT a rush and bustle there is on In the flower-house two men are usu- ''" my uncle's farm when the peonies ally stationed to stamp, wrap, tie, and

begin to "pop" ! One evening the fields put the flowers in water. First, the

maj- be a calm mass of green, closed famil\- trademark is stamped on each buds, and, in the morning, the colorful sheet of the white, parchment-like paper

horde is advancing stealthily. The battle used to wrap each bunch. Then, this

starts. A campaign is hurriedly organ- paper must be folded in such a way that ized, and troops are called out. Men are there is a double thickness around the hired to pick the flowers. These heads of the flowers when they are "rookies" are given instruction by Oscar, wrapped so that the\- will be less likely

the hired man, veteran of more than to break off. Because there is this danger thirtA' peon}' seasons with the family. of breaking, thirteen flowers instead of Most of the men whom we hire, how- an even dozen are put in a bunch. Each ever, come back every year and are quite variety of peon}', after being rolled up efficient. My father and brother, having in paper, is tied with a colored string received telephone messages that their red for "Early Red," yellow for "Felix services are needed "at the front," rush Krause," green for "Monsieur Jules out to the Grove as soon as they get Eley," blue for "Pond Lily." Just be- home from work. The log-cabin flower- fore they are to be put on the truck to

house is cleared out and made ready to be taken to the wholesale company in hold the flowers temporarily. Chicago, the flowers are taken out of Then the troops go into action. The water, and twenty bunches of one variety men, after having received their instruc- are wrapped together in heavy brown tions, go out into the fields "armed" with paper. Usually two trips a day are made sharp picking knives and white string in to town—one in the morning and one twenty-inch lengths to tie the bunches. in the early afternoon.

There is an art in picking the flowers I have only been an interested b}'- just right so that the flowers will last stander of the campaign since about and the plant will not be injured. The eight seasons ago when my family lived flowers are cut with fifteen-inch stems, at the Grove in the summer. When we and the leaves are stripped off six inches were children, we all used to help bj' from the bottom. Two leaves must be driving the Shetland pony around to the left on the stalk of young plants to pro- different fields to collect the bunches and vide for nourishment. A skillful, ex- haul them to the flower-house in the cart. perienced picker can grade, pick, and Little, fat Tommy got his biggest work- bunch two hundred dozen a day. The out of the year during that week of bunches of thirteen flowers each are laid peony season. My little cousin has now in the shade until an armful has been taken the job of driving Tommy. Of

picked; then they are collected or car- course all five of us could not drive the ried up to the cool flower-house where pony at once (or lead him, as we did

they are put into pails of water. when the cart was full) : so we alter-

[1] ! a

nated this task with duty in the flower- is required to feed about twenty men house. In there we folded the white sheets and wash all the dishes. My mother of paper and stamped them, cut string used to help by cooking some of the food to the proper lengths, or wrapped and over at our house and sending it to my tied. In such an active place, there are aunt just before the meal was served. always various errands to be done, and, Men often cut themselves or were stung because I the youngest, I was was official by bees, and my mother usually took care courier. I carried messages from "the of such accidents. front" to "headquarters" and back again, Never have we been able to check the and took cold drinking water to the men invading horde of peonies. No matter in the fields. Degrading "K.P." duty how hard we fight to keep the flowers often fell to our lot too, and we helped from getting ahead of us, every year in the kitchen, served, and washed dishes they beat us. Little by little we find when we could not persuade Aunt Jean ourselves losing ground. First, with the that our services were needed elsewhere. aid of hot, damp weather, the "Early I suppose sometimes we were more Reds" get out of control. When the bother than help. And if the opportunity pickers "retreat" to concentrate on the ever arose to go swimming or to go to later varieties, the flowers seem to rush town, we would disgracefully desert the over the field, transforming it into almost ranks. We were, however, reasonably a solid mass of red. Soon we are com- conscientious in doing our part to "hold pletely overcome by this colorful army. the fort." Advancement came according Our troops are dismissed, and all is quiet to the number of years in the service. on the front. We sit back, worn out At the time of my last season "in ac- after the hard week, and watch these tion," my older brother, Bub, had ad- beautiful invaders swarm over the fields. vanced to "picker," my cousin Avis and For the first time have an opportunity my brother Robbie had been promoted we to enjoy their beauty. Sometimes we to "ti-ers and wrappers," but Mary Jane, say that we are so tired of peonies we my other cousin, and I were still driving never want to see one again. But everj' the pony, folding, cutting string, and are all toes" doing other such insignificant jobs. Im- spring we "on our waiting agine my chagrin the next season when anxiously for peony season to start. I returned, no longer active in service, After each season we swear that next to see Mary Jane now wrapping and ty- year the flowers will not get such a start ing, and a stranger in our midst— on us. And every year is the same—one neighbor boy filling my old position as night the fields may be a calm mass of pony driver green, closed buds, and, in the morning, The women "behind the lines" also the colorful horde is already advancing had their work to do. Much preparation stealthily.

M/\

[2] Where the City Ends Robert Layer

Theme 16, Rhetoric I. 1933-34

WHERE does the city end and the ways cause discontent in small towns and country, woods, and farm begin? lure their victims to the city.

Chicago, New York, Columbus, IntHan- The first step the city took toward an- apolis, even Champaign and Urbana nexing our town was on the day the con- spread to a point where the drowsy stable took down the sign that warned country is skillfully woven into the alert, farmers not to drive their teams across intricate pattern of the city. city is A the bridge faster than in a walk. A few like an upturned hand. Heart and life years later a new sign appeared, "Bridge lines are the boulevards, smaller lines are not safe. Travel at your own risk." The streets, mounds are suburbs, and fingers automobile and truck had killed the stretching out are highways reaching for bridge that was sturdy when they were the rest of the world. fragile toys. Now there is a mammoth Why does the greedy metropolis new concrete span that hides the mill stretch away to take nature's galaxy of pond and makes the dam look like miracles from us? Why does she send beavers' work. The fate of the town is her scouts, those pestilent highways, to that of the old mill. It was once inde- our favorite fishing places ? I hope not to pendent, farmers flour bring fair-weather fishermen who dress but now the buy and truck their produce to the city. for dinner and dance or play bridge all night. Her armies of engineers are con- Where does the city end? Not at the tinually replacing picturesque bridges city limits, nor even the edge of the with modern steel and concrete struc- suburbs, but where the highway leaves tures. Those writhing, viperous high- off and the dirt road carries on.

Salt Creek Bottom-Lands

William G. Ellsberry

Theme 6, Rhetoric 11, 1933-34

IT HAS been said that Illinois is com- beauty is untainted by the encroachments pletely civilized yet those who have of civilization. ; explored the byways of her rural regions Through the central part of Mason know that although much of the country- County winds a fair-sized stream, ridicu- side abounds with factory smokestacks, lously named Salt Creek. But despite airway beacons, and telegraph poles, its whimsical appellation, the creek, with there still remain localities whose natural its wide, deep valley, is a well-known

[3] landmark. Beauty in nature is attained treacherous places, beautiful with the iri- by beauty in land forms, in vegetation, descent, ethereal mist of fast-evaporat- and in animal life. The Salt Creek ing moisture, yet foul with the soggy bottom-lands are exemplary of these ooze of centuries of decayed vegetation. three types of beauty. The delicate gran- The heavy growths of brake and marsh deur of the region is symbolic of an grass, interspersed with patches of moss, historic past steeped in tales of Indian serve as an attractive disguise for the lore and the wild frontier. underlying quicksand which has proved Bordering the valley are massive bluffs fatal to so much of the uncared-for live of sand and clay and rock. Their sparse stock of the neighboring farmers. But covering of wild berry bushes and dry despite their danger and darkness, these grass presents a bleak, tawny aspect. swamps hold a curious attraction. I once They stand, like a range of mountains, succumbed to the temptation to wade boldly silhouetted against the sky. To us, into the dank places, and there I ob- living in a flat prairie country, these huge served, with my heart in my mouth, mounds do much to alleviate the monot- wonders that held me spellbound. Spider ony of the plains ; they are indeed awe- webs clung to my face, and when I inspiring. The highest of the bluffs is shakily brushed them away, I could see called Courthouse Knob, and if its shape an occasional snake slithering down had anything to do with the name, the through the scum of the stagnant pools person who named it certainly chose and burrowing into the soft mud. Later well. It rises from the valley floor, a it began to rain, and when the rain spectacular pinnacle with rounded crest, ceased, the sun came out and the marsh devoid of all vegetation. There it stands, sweltered in the hot rays. As I removed towering above all else, a worthy object my cap to wipe off the perspiration, for any ambitious hiker to attempt to I noticed that a large, moving thing was climb. Near the top is a rugged cave resting on the bill of the headgear. It which was used in the pioneer days as a was a moth, so beautifully formed that it hiding place for the deer hunter. There looked like an exquisite ornament, carved the erstwhile hunter would conceal him- by a divinely inspired artist from some self and wait for his quarry as his unknown precious stone. As I advanced drivers and beaters chased the deer past deeper into the swamps, I saw many the bottom of Courthouse Knob. It is other strange things, and when I was thrilling to imagine the roar of the old once more back on solid ground, I was flintlock, reverberating through the wil- relieved, but not at all sorry that I had danger of the muck and derness ; I have stood many times on the dared face the peak just above the deer cave waiting quicksand. for that echo, and then, when no echo But the blufifs and swamps constitute has come, I have looked down and have only a minor part of the valley's beauty. seen, as on a vast relief map, the gullies It is the vegetation—the maze of flowers, with their crooked streams that slip the embroidery of creepers, the feathery down the slopes and widen and blend foliage—that enhances the great attrac- into the main channel. tion of the place. Dainty water lilies Along the main streams and bordering cover the main stream and its diminutive the rivulets which lazily drip from the tributaries, while graceful wild irises highlands are the swamps. They are force their way through the matted vines

[4] which cover the water's edge and boldly contend that they have even seen deer wave their delicate plumes in the hot, in the wilder parts of the bottom-lands, humid air of the Salt Creek bottom- but, although I have seen curiously lands. In the land farther back from the shaped and very small hoof prints, I am water, the vegetation becomes more solid inclined to believe that they may have and substantial. Large fields of perennial been made by a stray calf rather than by wild flowers beautify the landscape, and, a deer. However, the region is so as one proceeds still farther inland, he strangely dift'erent that I can easily imag- comes to deep, dense growths of virgin ine the presence of deer, even though I timber. Here there are no flowers; they have never seen one. But what if there have been snuffed out by the huge trees are no deer? The intriguing mystery of whose far-reaching roots have found and the fox den, the arrow-shaped head of a have consumed all the fertility from the snake with its darting tongue, the whin- soil. I shall never forget those doomed ing chatter of a raccoon — these are avenues, carpeted with moss and fallen enough to inspire great interest. One leaves, which wind beneath the rustling can scarcely take a step without seeing canopies of the sheltering elms and syca- some movement in the brush. Great gray mores. cranes soar up from their haunts; a The land forms and the vegetation horny fish leaps and quivers in the dark have been shown to be wonderful attri- water ; a burly groundhog pops his head butes of the valley, but the wild life has out of a hole and basks in the sunlight. not been given its due. Just as all living The valley is not dead— it is moving and things, no matter how insignificant, are alive; it has action, and that action is a part of their physical environment, so the element which transforms the place are the forms of wild life in the Salt and makes it, not a silent, tangled waste, Creek bottom.-lands a part of those bot- but an active, teeming chaos of life and tom-lands. There are great numbers of nature. fish, snakes, and lizards ; and there are The Salt Creek bottom-lands are, to- many whirring flocks of quail, ducks, and day, as they were when Columbus left geese. But more attractive to the hunter Spain. They are comparable to an ex- than the ducks and geese are the rac- quisitely carved, antique jewel set amid coons, foxes, and wolves. Perhaps the the shallow glitter of the paste diamonds mentioning of wolves will tax the cre- of civilization. No museum of natural dulity of the reader, but anyone who has history can ever hope to attain the true actually been in the valley, who has beauty and the educational value of the heard the soft padding of heavy paws, Salt Creek valley because that valley has and has seen a large, tawny body glid- the one quality which cannot be repro- ing through the underbrush will agree it is real. The autumn winds with me that the animal was not a dog duced— have blown against the tree of time, and and that it certainly was not a fox. Furthermore, wolf-hunting expeditions the tree of time has lost all of its leaves would not scour the valley every winter —all except one which still clings, even branch, flinging if there were no wolves to hunt. Some today, on the uppermost of the older authorities on the locality its challenge to all the world.

[5] The Spanish People

Mildred J. Wilson

Book Report, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

AFTER completing the last chapter his saddle-bow contains wine or water, of Irving's Alhambra, I sat for a for a supply across the barren moun- few moments in contemplation, trying tains and thirsty plain ; a mule-cloth to decide what it was about the book spread upon the ground is his bed that so fascinated me. I thought of the at night, and his pack-saddle his pillow. romantic, glorious legends related by His low, but clean-limbed and sinewy

Irving. I recalled the conquest of Spain form betokens strength ; his complexion by the Moors, the building of the mag- is dark and sunburnt; his eye resolute,

nificent, towering Alhambra ; I conceded but quiet in its expression, except when that I had thoroughly enjoyed Irving's kindled by sudden emotion; his de- sentiment and humor, his graceful, melo- meanor is frank, manly, and courteous, dious expression, and his conversational, and he never passes you without a grave entertaining style of writing; but, salutation." I quote from the Alhambra although all of these things had much to itself because it so adequately describes do with my liking for the book, I finally the Spaniard. came to the conclusion that the Spanish As I progressed through the book, I people made the story most interesting found that the Spaniards were very kind, to me. courteous, hospitable hosts who made The first thing of interest that I noted friends readily, and who were "in their was the fact that the Spanish people are glory" if you but allowed them to be such a contrast to the country which they your guides in order that they might inhabit. I had always imagined Spain as relate to you the glories of Spain, and being a soft, southern region similar to that they might show you all the royal,

Italy, but, on the contrary, I found that old palaces, relating some ancient legend it is a "stern, melancholy country, with (which oftentimes they actually be- ragged mountains, and long sweeping lieved) to every room, hall, and balcony plains, destitute of trees, and indescrib- in the huge structures. The Spaniards ably silent and lonesome .... What were an agreeable, companionable people. adds to this silence and loneliness is that No matter what their station in life absence of singing birds, a natural con- might have been, whether they were edu- sequence of the want of groves and cated or ignorant of books and learning, hedges." Naturally one would expect they were never vulgar ; they were never the inhabitants of such a country to be unintelligent. The very simplicity and dull, clumsy, awkward, and uncultured. gracefulness of their actions, whether in But the Spaniard had none of these dancing or in working, and their thought- characteristics. Rather, he was a happy, fulness and willingness won the travel- contented soul as he traveled hither and er's friendship in an instant. The bright- yon on horseback. "He lives frugally eyed Dolores, although she had read very and hardily; his alforjas (saddle bags) few books, was a delightful character, of coarse cloth hold his scanty stock of entertaining and loving. provisions ; a leathern bottle, hanging at Not only were the Spaniards friendly

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and hospitable beings, but they also were some way connect them with a king or humorous, and they were great lovers queen of the daj's of old. Of course we of music. This musical talent most in- must admit that they were very super- terested me. It to seemed me a striking stitious. But because this superstition is thing that practically every person was so frequently the very essence, the very gifted with the ability to play some in- life of their legends, we forgive them strument, most often the lute or the harp. and thoroughly enjoy all they have to tell Perhaps it was the constant playing of us. these instruments that made the story so A most outstanding characteristic of melodious. At any rate, there was the Spanish people was that of sympathy. scarceh- a character the reader met who They had "hearts of gold." There could not sing, dance, or play. I suppose seemed to be little class distinction within that the Spanish people knew very, very the country itself. When the kings and little about "theor}' of music," which we warriors went out to war, oftentimes must study today if we wish to become they returned the captives alive ; or, upon great musicians, but, nevertheless, they the request of the defeated enemy, re- played beautifully, because they put into turned the bodies of the dead captives; their music their own feelings, thoughts, many times they even attended the and emotions. In other words, music funeral of the dead victim, sending scores seemed to be born within them, and they of their own men to act as pallbearers were always conscious of a feeling of at a most ostentatious gathering of rhythm and harmony in everything they "weeping" people held in honor of the did. dead man. The Spaniards were great musicians And so I finished the yes. But they were also great story Alhambra with a feeling that I would like to tellers. And such story tellers as they go to Spain and visit the dear, old Alhambra with its were ! With what pride and dignity they related the old, romantic legends of the hundreds of rooms lavishly decorated in marble and bronze; I desired to Moorish conquest of the Granada ! They see loved to imagine themselves as living and sometime the castle by moonlight as doing the heroic deeds that the charac- Irving did; and, most of all, I wished ters in the legends did. It is rather that I might actually see the Spanish amusing at times to note how they clung people, hoping that they are the same to the slightest tradition that might in people that they were in Irving's day.

[7] —

A United World, Tomorrow Florence Sims

Theme 6, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

IMAGINE, if you can, what the world common language, could talk to, and thus will be like fifty, even one hundred, learn to know, each other, all this blood- years from now. The radio—what won- shed and unhappiness would be done ders will it bring? The airplane—how away with. He also realized that, on a far will it progress ? The modes of trans- larger scale, his reasoning would apply portation and communication are ever to the hatred existing among all the na- drawing the nations closer together tions of the earth. In one of his ad- making the world smaller. Might it not dresses on the subject of an I. L., he be a common experience for a housewife explained his feelings in these words: in the United States to call another "Oh, break down the walls between the housewife in Czecho-Slovakia on the nations, give them the power of mingling radiophone to exchange a little gossip? freely and communicating on common Or perhaps the family will go on a week- ground, and then only will disappear that end jaunt in the family plane to visit hatred which we see everywhere."' friends in China or Japan. In view of For fifteen years, 1872 to 1887, Dr. the present rate of progress, these are Zamenhof worked out various types of hardly wild prophecies, are they? And language. He considered the dead lan- yet, how are we going to converse with guages, Greek and Latin, but realized out friends of other nations? It would they were much too difficult. One of the be absurd to try to gain a speaking existing national languages would be im- knowledge of the many different lan- possible because of the jealousy among guages on this earth. The only logical the nations. The only possibility left was an artificial language, created especially solution of this problem is the world- for the purpose. Accordingly, he began wide adoption of an I. L.—an interna- the language, Esperanto. tional language. But what language shall work on The name is derived from a word in the lan- it be? Who shall choose it? And how guage meaning "hope." shall we persuade the jealous nations to M. C. Butler, in an article on interna- agree peacefully to one language? These tional languages, says: "An I. L. should are problems to which Dr. L. L. Zamen- be international, easy for all, neutral, hof has devoted his life. euphonious, phonetic, flexible, unambigu- Dr. Zamenhof was born in 1859 in the ous, logical, regular, adaptable, and cosmopolitan town of Bielostop, in west- tested by long-continued practical use on ern Russia. He had for neighbors Rus- a large scale .... Esperanto .... is sians, Poles, Germans, and Jews, each the only language which possesses all speaking his own language and hating these characteristics."^ the other races. Time after time he wit- Let us first consider the simplicity of nessed bloody fights among the differ- Esperanto. The vocabulary contains only ent nationalities. He thought considerably about this condition and came to ^An address to the Second Esperanto Congress, 1906, North American Review, CLXXXIII, 1154. -M. C. Butler, "Universal Language," Encyclopedia believe that if only these people had a Brittanica, 13th. Ed. New York, 1926.

[8] >v;

tense of the about nine hundred words, and yet forty- tense. Thus the present six years of use have added only techni- verb "to be" is: cal, not fundamental terms. In compos- Mi estas Ni estas ing his vocabulary. Dr. Zamenhof drew Vi estas Vi estas from the languages of all the most im- Li, si, gi estas Hi estas Often he found the portant nations. The person and number are shown by same root word occurring in three or the pronoun which is never omitted. four different langtiages. He often re- The main device which makes it pos- ferred to Latin, for, after all, practically sible to have a vocabulary of only nine all the languages of Europe have been hundred words, is the use of suffixes and or less from Latin. When derived more prefixes. Take, for instance, the prefix, words varied widely in different lan- "mal." When this is added to a root guages, he chose from first one and then word, a new word is formed with ex- attempting to be impartial in his another, actly the opposite meaning; for instance: choice. In this way a large percentage — bona — good, wa/bona — bad ; juna vocabulary is already familiar, of the young, fnaljuna—old. Likewise, the root knows only his native even to one who words are usually masculine, and the tongue. The school teachers of the world feminine word is formed by the suffix gave evidence of the simplicity of Es- "in," thus: patro — father, patrmo — in 1922, when, at an Interna- peranto mother; frato—brother, fratmo—sister. Conference of Teachers, they tional So by the use of about fifty prefixes and manifesto in favor of Esper- adopted a suffixes the ordinary vocabulary is cut at found that "given two anto. They had least in half. each per week, the lessons of one hour Esperanto was given to the world in school children can, in a single year, get 1887. It first spread through Russia, to use the Esperanto lan- ability enough then to Germany, finding, however, the is not possible in any other guage, as strongest support in France. Societies years. "^ language in three were formed, periodicals published in simplicity of the Esperanto "The Esperanto, and finally in 1905, the first comprising sixteen funda- grammar, Esperanto Congress was held. The in- rules, with no exceptions, is quite mental terest in Esperanto was at its peak when All nouns end in "o," and remarkable."* the War broke out. This spoiled every- all adjectives in "a." The plural for thing, and it is only recently that interest either is adding "j." There formed by in the language has been renewed. One nominative and ac- are only two cases, of the biggest steps forward since the latter is formed by adding ; the cusative War was made in 1925. At that time the nominative form. There is "n" to the International Telegraphic Union officially one article, "la," for all genders, only recognized Esperanto, stating that it was cases. An adverb can be numbers, and "a clear language." In this same year, almost any word by adding formed from there were twenty-seven European The verbs do not change "e" to the root. broadcasting stations giving regular Es- number, but change for for person and peranto transmissions. The French say:

"This is not a language, artificial and ^"Esperanto Favored by International Conference of Teachers," School and Society, June 24, 1922, XV, dead, simply transferred from our lan- 694-5. "Esperanto Language," Americana, New York, living. guages ; it is a language capable of 1928.

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of developing, and of surpassing in rich- been a bunch of fools to fight about ness, in suppleness, and in variety, the such little things. natural languages."^ BIBLIOGRAPHY Will Esperanto be the I. L. of the Aiken, J. B., "Why Not Esperanto?" Book- future? Will Esperanto be given a man, LXXII (January, 1931) pp. 135-6. Couturot and Leau, Histoire de la Langue chance to draw the nations of the earth Ihiiverselle, 2nd, Ed. Paris, 1907. together in peace and fellowship ? I hope "Esperanto Favored by International Confer- ence of Teachers." School and Societv, so. For as long as we cannot know what XV (June 24, 1922) pp. 694-S. our neighbor is saying, we cannot hope "Esperanto Language," Americana. New York, 1928. to understand him, to know what he is SCHINZ, A., "Esperanto, A New I. L." Nation, really thinking. When, at last, we are LXXXII, p. 221. "Universal Language," Encyclopedia Brittan- able to talk with him easily and freely, ica, 13th. Ed. New York, 1926. then only will we realize that he is no Zamenhof, L. L., An Attempt toi^'ards an In- ternational Language, New York, Henry different from us, and that we have all Holt & Co., 1889. Z.iiMENHOF, L. L., "Aspirations of the Founder Leau, Histoire de la Langue Vniver- ^Couturot and of Esperanto," North American Rei'leiv, idle, 2nd. Ed. Paris, 1907. Translated from the original French by the authors. CLXXXIII (Dec. 7, 1906) p. 1154.

Big Town, Little Town Kenneth Nelson

Theme 5, Rhetoric II, 1933-34 MY HOME town is a paradoxical Old Mrs. Parkins typifies the country sort of place. Big town, little town. part of the town. She has lived there A sleepy, lazy country village and a big, for over fifty years, always in the old, bustling suburban city. The inhabitants clapboarded, white house on the hill play checkers and charades with equal overlooking the Des Plaines River. Every

facility. It is too close to the enveloping morning at ten (not nine, or eleven, spirit that surrounds the city of Chicago mind you) she leaves her old house on not to have grasped some of the latter's the hill with a rnarket basket over her essential "big-townishness," and yet far arm and walks the three blocks to the enough away to have retained its languid business district to do her shopping. countr}^ manners. A harness shop occu- Whether she buys anything or not, she pies the building across the street from never returns to her residence until the new department store, and the twelve, for this morning foray is the numerous garages have not yet driven only time during the day that she leaves the blacksmith out of business. The home. She usually stops for a chat at great majority of men, however, com- three or four places on the way back, mute to Chicago every day for business and her telephone conversations are terse reasons, and their wives often go "down in the extreme. She prefers to do her town," (their name for Chicago's Loop) talking directly, not over wires, for she for shopping. has an intuitive distrust of anything me-

ClO] chanically complicated. When she rides and many of the same people who attend in an automobile, she is very careful a performance of A'ida on Friday night about the way it is driven. But she is not seem to enjoy themselves thoroughly the tj'pical back-seat driver. She is so with the amateurish rendition of a por- obviousl}- nervous about the whole thing tion of the opera by village talent the that no one has the heart to object to next night. Thej' can't quite get the her frequent warnings and ejaculations. horse-and-bugg}' complex out of their She is thoroughly "small-townish"—but systems, and they don't seem to want she has bobbed hair ! to, which is perhaps best. Many of them Mrs. Rutherford, her next-door neigh- have lived in the city before, and these bor, likes the city. She visits Chicago people seem to be the ones who are most at least twice a week, and plays bridge enthralled by local events and local cus- in the afternoon. She and Mrs. Parkins toms. After being little frogs in a big have nothing in common, but I have puddle during their working days, they often seen them talking together in the can come home at night and be middle- summer evenings, while Mr. Rutherford sized frogs in a middle-sized puddle. sits in his stockinged feet to read the My family moved from the city when paper every night, and always turns the I was born. My mother said she couldn't radio to Amos 'n Andy at 10 o'clock. bear to think of my crawling up and Mrs. Parkins likes Amos 'n Andy her- down six flights of stairs to play in a self. She alwa3'S seems to laugh at the little eight-by-eight square of grass, and same time that the rest of us do— I sup- she felt that a change was in order. I pose rural people have the same sense of have often been thankful for her de- humor that city people have. Mrs. cision. For my own part, I would rather Rutherford tried to teach Mrs. Parkins live in a small town near a large city to play bridge one winter, but before than in any other place in the world. The the lessons had progressed materially, small town offers a comradeship, and a Mrs. Parkins had almost succeeded in sense of unity and fellowship. A large teaching Mrs. Rutherford how to make city offers all the wealth of advantages patch-quilts—and Mrs. Rutherford, in which a great deal of money makes pos- turn, taught all her friends to make sible. Living in a suburb is the happy patch-quilts. medium.

The village band gives concerts in the Big town, little town. Checkers and town's auditorium on Saturday night, charades. That's the life for me.

[11] ;

On Reading George Troutt

Theme 5, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

THE positive influence of books upon of life. It is no vain desire to appear the mind of the conscientious stu- cultured which keeps these people eter- dent cannot be denied. They are to him nally at war with themselves and the a character- forming force as great as his universe, nor is it the "genuine scientific environment or his heredity. They be- passion," the "intellectual curiosity" that come to him an environment as influen- Matthew Arnold describes. It is rather tial as his homelife or his associates. Is the will to comprehend the incomprehen- it any wonder then that he is alwa3's sible. It is the will of a people who, lack- receiving a flood of advice as to what ing the naivete to believe explicitly in and how much he should read? He is any of the existing religions and possess- warned that if he reads too much, he will ing the courage to view themselves as mi- become merely a book-worm, a walking crocosms in a macrocosm — to admit encyclopedia, a book-philosopher, whose themselves powerless to comprehend the only thoughts are echoes of some author infinite—still seek to establish a world that the men who speak to him through picture which will give them the spiritual the pages of his books will so dominate repose they might have had if blind faith his mind that he will lose his power to in any of the now existing religions had thrive independently, creatively. Nietz- been possible to them. It is these people sche confined his reading to the works to whom the power to create is given, of a very few ancient Greek philosophers and to them, because of their receptive with the excuse that to read more was minds, that the choice of what to read is only a waste of time. To him books most important. were distractions, muddling influences There are some simple people who can which disturbed the otherwise clear, calm find in the Bible or the texts of other workings of his mind. religions the answers to all of their ques-

Again, the conscientious student is ad- tions concerning the universe, but there vised that he cannot read too much, that is still a larger group of people who pre- by reading he can become acquainted fer to pretend a religious faith and to with the achievements of the greatest ignore the incomprehensible. It is these minds of both the past and the present, people who, being by their very religions and that if he has the power to do crea- hypocrites at heart, have taught our tive work, he can stand on the shoulders schools and made our laws and absurd of the men with whom he has become ac- moral code. They have made of society quainted in his reading and grasp at that an organized hypocrisy. To them and to which was beyond them. the sincerely religious alike, the choice of

I use the term conscientious student reading material should not be difficult. to denote a group of persons who by If they are looking for light informative their reading and thinking affirm their reading, our magazines and papers are "will to power" not only over physical full of political and scientific propaganda forces but also over the basic enigmas for their consumption. If they want to

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be amused, thrilled, or lulled into a added a little to this observation with the senseless stupor, our libraries and news- remark, "Understanding is essentially stands have thousands of mediocre or critical, reason essentially creative." poor novels and stories which are good Then we may assume that the student enough for them to dull further their strives to understand this philosophy, already dull wits on for a few hours. and that, upon understanding it, he im- They are like a crowd gathered to watch mediately becomes critical. From this a sculptor at work; they can finger the criticism he may form his reasons, and chips that fly from the marble block and from them may grow a philosophy dis- wrangle over the significance of the tinctly his own which will probably satis- sculptor's works, but they cannot have fy him only temporarily. The important any influence upon the finished statue. thing is, however, that he has experi-

Therefore it is inconsequential what they enced the philosophical ideas of another read or whether they read at all. person and, by his complete understand- But let us consider the conscientious ing of them and his inevitable criticism, student and his reactions to his reading. has emancipated himself again. Had he If he understands as he should the un- possessed the power to understand only rest which destines him to be an "in- a part of the philosophy, he might have tellectual," then the works of all other accepted it as the world picture for poets and artists will be to him mani- which he had been striving and become festations of a similar unrest in them. only a disciple of another man.

From this understanding a sympathetic That, then, is the cycle by which the sensitiveness to all aristic expression will conscientious student will be governed be born in him which will be no mean in his reading. He will not read too reward for his ambition. As an example, much, for each book or work of art will let us consider a student as he studies require time for consideration according a modern book of philosophy which has to its merits. He will consider only those been highly recommended to him. The things which are artistically worthy be- cycle of his reactions to this book is cause he is serious rather than ostenta- suggested by Boyle's profound observa- tious in his search for the world-picture tion, "Understanding is capable only of and he will not be satisfied with or de- discovering errors." Oswald Spengler terred by trash.

[13] On the Fine Art of Conversation Maurace H. Wells

Theme 9, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

FOR several years I have had the good erance—an ability to see and to respect fortune to be on very friendly terms the point of view of one's companions. with a certain small group of elderly Nothing is less productive of profitable women. Although I postdate the young- colloquy than petty disputes and ridicule est of them by fifty years, my associa- or flat denial of the opinions of another. tion with them is no less pleasant on that Closely bound to this tolerance is the account ; rather, the disparity in our ages need for humility. This virtue concedes heightens my enjoyment of their com- the right of any who care to speak to pany. The secret of their charm for me be heard. Interesting discussions are too is their excellent conversation. Somehow frequently ended by the selfish individual they lend to even the most commonplace who monopolizes the time and attention bit of news a certain dignity and im- of his auditors with his own long-winded portance. Dame Rumor herself, in their dissertation upon this or that phase of hands, assumes a cloak of verity, hiding the subject under consideration. Such all semblance of gossip and scandal be- usurpations are seldom appreciated, no neath it. Their conversation belies the matter how excellent their style or how advanced years of these charming ladies, admirable their sentiments. for it is youthful in outlook, and intelli- Equally important are a sense of of the gently informed about the affairs humor and a sense of perspective. A modern world. sense of humor keeps conversation alive in an art Why does this group succeed and interesting, and goes a long way in which so many fail? Is it because, toward preserving equanimity and har- at their age, they have reached a level of mony in the group. It often serves to wisdom unattainable by those whose ex- incite a steady flow of fresh ideas and periences are less varied, which enables new turns of thought which make for them to choose skillfully the subjects of pleasing speech. Coupled with it is the their discourse? Is it because they are sense of perspective, which, on the one well educated and widely traveled and hand, prevents the speakers from taking therefore have achieved a discriminating themselves or their chatting too seri- taste for what is excellent in conversa- ously, and, on the other, keeps the level tion? of their discourse above that of mere Possibly these are important factors in drivel. their success, but I am convinced that These, it seems to me, are the mini- there is more to be said in this connec- requirements for achieving this tion. There are these more fundamental mum requisites for the fine art of conversation delicate art of conversation. They do not which they possess: seem to be difficult on the surface—yet First of all, there must be a broad tol- how seldom do we find them practiced!

[14] ^r^

Summer Symphonies Clayton Kirkpatrick

Theme 1, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

DURING the past summer I found listener is jarred by the barking of a employment on a large country squirrel as he sits up in a tree and scolds estate ; and it was here while working a dog who sits watching him with an among the trees and flowers that I be- expression of canine laughter on his came acquainted with what I liked to face. The constant chirping of sparrows think of as summer symphonies. These is almost lost in the confusion; yet if symphonies are divided into two distinct this sound were not present, the omission classes. There are those which are pro- would be instantly noticed. In a field duced by such animate things as birds, close by, a farmer is mowing hay ; and, men, and animals. In the other class are since he is a young fellow who feels that those sounds produced b}' inanimate the only way to demonstrate his superi- things such as windmills, machinery of ority is by shouting, he shouts with all all kinds, wind, and rain. his might at a pair of mules which plod To the average mind those melodies on unperturbed by the exertions of their emanating from animate creatures are driver. The shouting seems a harsh, dis- more interesting than those coming from cordant note in nature's symphony, yet a "dead" source. For that reason I shall it has its place—to provide variety and attempt first to describe some of the emphasis. During the day all the crea- symphonies which I heard this summer tures seem to pause at noon. This is as they were produced by animate crea- the interval of rest, and sometimes the tures. In the first place, it would be well silence is so unbroken that it, too, seems to fill in the background—to provide that audible. blend or contrast against which the more When one considers the part which in- striking songs are heard with greater animate things play in our symphony, he beauty. During the day this background finds that here, too, are sounds which is made up chiefly of the hum and drone have grown too commonplace for his of insects—of the chirp of the cricket dulled appreciation. Who would say that and the buzz of the bees. Often this the "put-put" of a power lawnmower background becomes so familiar that it was beautiful? And yet I have found is necessary for one to listen attentively it so. The steady rhythm, the sharp re- to hear it, but if he does listen he will be port combine to form a definite melody if rewarded with an exquisite blend of one can catch it. Sometimes when the melody and rhythm, forming harmony of going is hard, the report is faster and unexpected beauty. Against this back- sharper, and one finds that he almost ground, which is so beautiful in itself, sympathizes— feels a genuine interest in there comes the whistle of the lark, the the struggle of the little engine. The harsh cries of a yellow-headed wood- rustling leaves, the squeak of the wind- pecker, the mournful croon of the mill, especially in the night when it mourning dove, the cheerful bickering of disturbs the silence with its eerie creak- the martin. Sometimes the ear of the ing, the far-away exhaust of a heavy

[IS] road tractor—all of these combine and or monotonous. On goes this symphony mingle to produce a symphony, ordinary through days and nights, as unceasing as and common, yes, but not commonplace Niagara and as beautiful as Nature itself.

My Favorite Building John R. Hamilton

Part III, Final Examination, Rhetoric I, 1932-34

SEVERAL years ago, the Fine Arts This long gallery, still stately in spite of Palace of the World's Columbian its sad condition, led from the huge ro-

Exposition of 1893 was still standing in tunda to the east section of the building Chicago. This vast edifice had been built where there had been a small theatre of brick covered with ephemeral plaster and several large rooms with glass bal- because the exposition buildings were conies around the walls. This wing had meant to last only a few months. Later, the appearance of an uncanny charnel however, Marshall Field donated money house, for scattered about in its various to be used for the founding of a museum apartments were broken fragments of of natural history. This bequest and the statues that had once beautified the love that people had for that peerless "white city of 1893." example of ancient Greek architecture During three years I made many visits saved the building from immediate de- to the old Fine Arts Palace, wandering struction. It housed the Field Museum for hours among its crumbled splendors. until 1920, when the new marble building Once I was there in the winter when a was erected in Grant Park. snowstorm covered the ghostly pillars After the departure of the Museum and silently filtered into the enormous collection, the vast empty palace rapidly central halls through their broken sky- fell into desolate ruin. Great slabs of lights. I remember especially the night plaster peeled from its walls, weeds grew when I climbed up inside the dome and in the courtyard, and inside, the proud looked down into the whole palace, the galleries that had once exhibited the ruin and decay obliterated by the kindly finest art treasures of the world were beams of the moon. That night I heard silent and lonely, tenanted only by rats many strange noises and saw weirdly and pigeons which entered through the beautiful forms brought into relief by the broken skylights. Entire sections of cor- bright moonlight. The most terrifying nices and pediments crumbled and fell part of the building during any season down among the weeds. was the miles of damp dark vaults

On my first visit to this building, I underneath the first floor. These I ex- entered through a broken door panel in plored with the aid of a lantern. one of the long pillard exterior galleries. Last summer I again visited that

This admitted me into what I later building. But the old fascination, even named "the gallery of the ruined sky- the old beauty that had haunted the light" because its once handsome glass structure when it was a lonely ruin was ceiling lay broken and dusty on the floor. gone. The government has borrowed

[16] money and restored the exterior with original plans, is aii entirely new build- limestone ; the inside is an ugly, clanking ing. The old palace that I loved so much industrial museum filled with blatant ma- lives on now, not in Jackson Park, but chines. The present building, although in my memory. called a restoration rebuilt from the

A Tropical Storm Robert DeWolf

Theme 12, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

LIFE seems almost to have disap- everything in it path. It is not content peared. The little feathered gulls, with foam. It whistles shoreward to which usually flutter along the beach, are hurl blasts of sand at bending trees and gone. Everything is quiet. The palms quivering shacks. It screams through have sensed the approach of something the palms, pulling off their fan-like dreadful, and their leaves have ceased to leaves as it would blow a seeding dande- move. The usual ripples on the water lion into the air. It comes to the heavier graduated to stately rolling swells have trees where it rips off branches and sends which have a sinister look of bound-up them hurtling away. The fury increases fury. But they, too, are silent. The with great bounds until, again, there is a white and fleecy clouds have become feeling of tension, a feeling of something huge masses of deep purple and gray strained to the breaking point. which roll in towards the shore. As these Suddenly this something does break. approach, as the silence grows more op- The spirit of the storm has given in ; it pressive, there is a feeling of tension, a is beaten ; its fury is gone ; it is now feeling of something strained to the like a tired and weak old man. A quiet breaking point. rain begins to fall, and the air is filled Suddenly this something does break. with the clean fragrance of a soft and The bound-up fury of the ocean is un- cool breeze. Then fleecy clouds begin to leashed. The great swells are whipped appear anew, and they go fleeting across into a frothing mass of flying foam. The purple and gray clouds become alive. the sky. The ocean is again covered with With the shriek of a war cry, the wind ripples and waves which wash back swoops down to lift clouds of the salty and forth on the beach. And the little foam. This it slashes like needles at gulls sail merrily along in the sunshine.

[17] The Best Hobby Harold Lancaster

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

NOW when the grass is soon to fill in comes easier to be generous ; and with the ground-work of its green carpet the impulse of generosity, comes the with a design done in dandelions, when means for indulging the good emotion; the earth, fragrant with potential life, is for the garden always supplies summer ready to let him who wields a spade envy squashes and beets in abundance, which the angle-worm that burrows in its rich, satisfactorily fill a basket for a neighbor, brown bosom, the soul of any man not even if the green peas and strawberries city born and bred should thrill with the do not meet the great expectation desire to "make a garden." Let him who aroused by the perusal of the florist's scorns the hoe and watering pot recon- catalog. sider his determination to allow the While reducing his grocery bill and greenhouse and grocery store the privi- cultivating a spirit of unselfishness, a lege of suppl^'ing the family with flowers man may also spare himself the expense and vegetables, and think of the ad- of a summer outing. Hoeing is as good vantages of having a garden of his own for the back as rowing; pulling pigweed to enjoy and to weed. One of the most is unsurpassed by golf in the play it gives

apparent of these advantages is the to the arm muscles ; and the July sun will

garden's aesthetic value. It is a joy to bestow the finishing touch of tan with see things grow, and rows of little corn equal readiness in back-yard or mountain tops and brightl}' colored flowers lend a valley. A garden cultivates the aesthetic charm to a back-yard which ash-piles nature, feeds the family, encourages a and tin cans cannot give in any artistic spirit of generosity, lessens the grocery

arrangement whatsoever. With a charm- bill, and does away with the necessity

ing view from the back windows it be- of a summer vacation.

"I Could See Any Person Die' IscA Wiley

I could see any person die no fears And have ; Could see my best friend die And shed no tears.

I am so cold-hearted and Pitiless you say? No, but the cold earth comforts For an endless dav.

[18] back his ears, and helped dependable the side of the frame — and halfway Jinny pull the wagon, piled high with down the pasture they went. Then the yellow corn, up into the concrete drive- team slowed down, stopped, and waited way. patiently for someone to come and drive them in.

Tom and Jinny stood quietly under the overhanging limb of the cottonwood tree I came down the ladder from the

whose leaves were now little and waxy. fragrant hayloft after my daily visit to The hired man threw the last chunk of a nest of cuddly kittens hidden far back

hedge on the pile around the great base in the sweet new alfalfa. As I went of the spreading cottonwood and, leaping towards the barn door, a velvet gray lightly to the ground, went into the yard nose was stretched expectantly over a to get a drink at the pump. Coming manger. from the yard, whose gate he left open, "Oh, Tommy, you always want some- he saw his team and frame poking slowly thing." along by the oats granary on the other Tommy backed to the end of his halter side of the barn lot. rope and stood snorting distrustfully as "Tom! Whoa there!" he called in im- I dumped a handful of tankage into his perative but impotent anger. box. Jinny eyed Tommy's tankage so

Tommy didn't whoa ; he kept right on wistfully that I went to get a little salt

going, but with a noticeable increase of for her. When I returned with it. speed. Having urged Jinny to this run- Tommy was eating his tankage with

away by a few subtleties, he was going placid contentment ; having a case-

to finish it. Out the open pasture gate liardened digestion, he eats everything —Tommy never scraped a gate post in with equal enjoyment. As I left the his periodic runaways though he missed barn he was reaching over into Jinny's them by the most impossible margins box, licking at her salt with a wicked when there were bare legs dangling over tongue.

[21] 6^

A Shadow Genevieve Myers

Theme 14, Rhetoric II, 1933-34

SHE SAT across from me in the exact The voices of the fifty odd women, center of the long table, and the light seated at the table, gradually fell to a from the candles was not kind to her. lower and lower pitch. Their muted It threw into sharp relief the sunken sounds had the hushed tone commanded hollows of her cheeks and made her eyes b}' a pompous funeral, an elaborate dis- sparkle with a false brilliance. The black play of sorrow. Yet there was in them lace of her gown hung loosely about her an element of respect for that strange

throat as if it were loath to rest against woman — respect called forth by a that sharpness. Accentuating the glamour, long dead, but heralded by the wrinkles there, a diamond necklace winking diamonds about her throat. glittered as if only the hard brightness With a deliberate slowness born of of the stones sought the touch of her age, she rose, and the sudden silence was aged skin. Her hands, too angular for broken by the sound of her voice, too for slenderness, too sharp beauty, rested well-modulated for comfort. It was a the table with an lightness. upon assumed voice, speaking from across the im- Her fingers, burdened with rings, were passable distance of years, carrying the somehow reminiscent of a corpse decked tones of an arrogance justified by events for the grave. long forgotten and powers long dead. It A musky fragrance, as faded as that matters little what she said ; few of her of a pressed flower, emanated from hearers knew or cared. As she seated across the table and mingled with the herself, they gathered around to press odor of the roses that formed the center- briefly her withered hand and escaped piece of the banquet table. That faint perfume, exuding from the severe con- thankfully into the night, where the cool tours of her body, was akin to the odor darkness and the lively sounds of the arising when a yellowed book, long cheerful insects seemed suddenly to

closed, is opened. carry a welcome meaning of vitality.

My Weather H. H. Benninger

Theme 9, Rhetoric I, 1933-34

SHALL never forget that morning; morning it had grown colder, and sleet

I it was perfection, if ever such a state beat down, seemingly in an attempt to

is reached. The rain clouds had literally destroy every living thing ; the wind cut broken loose the night before, drenching through our heavy clothing, chilling us everjlhing in a four-hour deluge. By in spite of our frequent sipping of hot

[22] — ;

coffee. It was an hour after the time old farm house, I would hear again the for sunrise before we were able to dis- mournful cry of the whippoorwill and cern our decoys, bobbing on the waves a the who-whooing of a watchful owl short thirty feet awa}'; it was "ducky" and once more the stories of eventful weather. And there they were — five coon-hunts would lull me to peace with black dots coming toward us at sixty the world. The next night I would miles an hour. — Mallards ! — but then, spend with the rain beating against my that's a different story. An old duck face as I walked block after block on city hunter, \\ho pointed the way to my streets with the girl who could make the future in the sport of kings, once told rain my god. Lights then are not for me, "No, boy, it's not your desire to kill mortals, but guide posts of the fairies

ducks that holds you in a blind ; it's the who dance on shining pavements. Dame weather, and you'll always heed the call. Weather expresses her beauty, and that It's your religion—and mine !" is her method.

If I had but three days to live and But my "religion" is not forgotten ; I were to be granted what I desired most would live once more a duck-day—the for that period, I can prophesy my wish. crowning day of them all. When finally

I would want a frosty evening in autumn dusk closed in, with a last farewell to my with my grandfather, and the moon as a faithful dog, I would face reality — sentinel. Sitting on the doorstep of the happily!

The Cog Britt Blatr

Theme 12, Rhetoric 11, 1932-33 FAR BELOW my present level, at heavy leather shoes were not motionless furnace number two, a little man was but moved now and then as though they working. Turning first this way and were trying to find a more comfortable then that, he crammed shovel after position. As they did so, the black shovel full of fine black coal into the water, standing on the iron floor, swirled mouth of the roaring giant beside him and splashed as though angry at being only a cog in the extensive machinery of disturbed. Now and then some water the ship. He seemed a midget in com- would splatter onto the iron shell of the parison with the great furnace and the furnace, and little puff's of steam would shadowy mountain of coal, which looked burst out like jets of escaping smoke. as though it would thunder down upon From a string of a belt which en- him with each succeeding gouge in its circled his body hung a pair of ragged ebony wall. But the little man labored trousers now black with coal dust, grime, on, apparently oblivious to the near and sweat. These were rolled up to a danger, his only aim being to transfer point mid-way between his ankles and the coal, bit by bit, into the jaws of knees, exposing a portion of his dark- the roaring inferno. His feet in their ened, sinewy legs. As he moved, the

[23] ;

damp bottoms slapped soggily against his he leaned there motionless, resting an blackened shins. From a suggestion of arm on the handle of the shovel. He heaviness in the hips, his body gradually appeared to be thinking of some long- spread outward into the chest and past happening, trying now to gather its shoulders of a giant, more anthropoid evasive details into an integrated whole, than man. Each motion called into play lest they be lost forever. Then, as if the cablelike muscles disturbing the thick drawn by force of habit, he flung open skin which, in spite of the patches of the heavy furnace door which he had coal dust on it, was shining from the closed but a few moments before and sweat and the light thrown by the fire. Presently he stopped his rhythmic resumed his automatic movements, al- motions to rest and straighten his tired most as though there had been no break back and shoulders. For some moments in them.

Stage Fright Bruce Avery

Impromptu, Theme 16. Rhetoric II, 1933-34

IN THE first place they made me do I would have to make a short speech it. I didn't want to be Caesar's ghost while on the stage. Some of the air left

I didn't want to be anybody's ghost. me. The same person said that it would Nevertheless, those business-like mem- naturally be in Latin. No air remained bers of the Latin Club came, saw, and now ; wheels began to whirl in my head, conquered—and made a ghost out of me. and I decided to be seated. The first They needed someone tall, they needed rehearsal was over for me. someone whose face naturally should be Much to my discomfort, I was in the covered in an}' performance, and they same state of mind that opening night. needed someone who didn't have a ghost The curtain had been up once and gone of a chance in acting except as a ghost, down for the end of the first act. The and I was it. My career as an actor second act was in progress, and it was was going to begin. time for the spirit of Caesar to show After consulting myself for a time on himself to the audience. Someone the matter, I finally decided that it might pushed me, rather roughly I'm afraid, be fun to walk around in white clothing and there I was in the center of the and scare the large crowd of fifty people stage. I trembled, I shook, the sheets who were expected to attend the opening I night. I even aroused enough courage shook, muttered some Latin phrases, in myself to go to the first rehearsal to and I tried to run for the side. When I see what my part required. It was there finally got backstage, the director told that the blow came; I was informed that me that as a ghost I was a wonder.

[24] 3^

Subduing Virgin Land Lawrence Lauck

Theme 6, Rhetoric 11, 1933-34

UNLESS one has lived for some time As our project lay about a mile from on the Canadian prairies, it is hard home and it was too cold to have horses for him to understand why people be- out all day, we were obliged to wade come fascinated with the life there. The through the powdery, swirling snow present inhabitants would undoubtedly which flew up from our feet like little deny that the jjrairies have any hold on clouds of dust. The cold was intense. them, but if they were to go away for a We did not breathe through our mouths while where the topography is entirely because, unless the air was warmed different, they would long for the sight somewhat, it would have frozen our of the rolling country with its clumps of lungs. When we stood on a knoll and poplars and birch, for glimpses of slink- surveyed the work which lay before us, ing coyotes and foxes, for a view of it seemed as if we could never cut such hundred-acre fields of wheat billowing in an abundant growth of timber in three a September wind. Manitoba, Saskatche- months. Some of the timber bluffs were

wan, and Alberta are known as the three about an acre in area ; others were much prairie provinces. Though the layer of smaller. The smaller trees on the out- fertile soil covering them was, for the side of each bluff gradually gave way to most part, deposited by one of the gla- bigger timber. These bluffs had caught ciers which encroached thereon during and held most of the snow that had past geological time, the general topog- fallen, until it lay to a depth of five or raph)^ of the southern part of the prov- six feet around the trees and scrub. We inces is slightly rolling, streaked by a started from the outside so as to be un- few rivers, numerous creeks, and small hampered by the uncut timber, and were ravines. obliged to dig down through the snow Several kinds of grass plants grow on and cut the timber off near the surface the prairies, but the most abundant is of the ground. When the large trees "prairie wool." It is a relatively short, crashed to earth, they buried themselves wiry grass on which horses and range in snow, thus making it extremely diffi- cattle feed during the summer. Several cult to lop off their limbs. The larger types of hardy trees exist there too, the timbers which could later be utilized for most abundant ones being black and firewood were piled by themselves. white poplar, birch, and scraggly oak. Despite our heavy, fleece-lined, pig-skin

These usually grow in clumps or bunches mittens we frequently had to flail our and are spoken of as bluffs. The bluffs arms to keep warm, but, after starting have to be removed before the farmer two or three brush fires, we were able to can come in with his "breaker" plow and keep warm working in our shirt sleeves. powerful tractor to turn the virgin soil. In spite of the deep snow the wood was Late in the fall of 1928 my father and not hard to cut because the frozen, sap- I decided to clear the scrub and trees laden chips from the soft, pithy poplars off a few acres of land in preparation flew like chunks of ice. for breaking it early the next spring. Day after day we worked, through

[25] ^t

fair days and through blizzards. We blizzard swept on with a mighty, sub- soon worked well into the timber and dued roar. Occasionally we heard a were somewhat sheltered by that sur- cannon-like report as the huge trunk of

rounding us. During the more blustery a tree burst from the pressure of its ex- days we worked on the leeward side of panding sap. Once the expanding ice in our fires in order that the wind would the broad Saskatchewan River spoke

blow the heat towards us, while great when a new part of it was swept bare clouds of white smoke billowed over our of snow and subjected to the intense heads. I well remember the tenth da}' cold. Towards sundown the wind's of Januar\', 1929. A few da3's before velocity abated somewhat, and though we that there had been a heavy fall of snow were nearh- exhausted physically from with very little wind. This eighteen-inch our violent exercise to keep our blood in blanket lay evenh' distributed over the circulation, we gathered up our tools, got surface of the ground, waiting to be our bearings, and floundered home carried into drifts by the wind. In the through the great drifts, some of which early morning the sky was overcast, but were eight feet high.

it soon cleared off and I anticipated a Bluff after bluff of wood succumbed bright, clear day. Long before the sun to our gleaming axes during the weeks had reached the zenith, fine particles of that followed. Cord after cord of fire-

snow commenced settling around us. I wood lay piled behind us, while heaps of soon began to get chilly and edged closer ashes showed where we had burned the to the fire. As crowding the fire did not scrub. We had comparatively good help much, I put on my overcoat. The weather for our work except for two or snow began sifting down faster into our three heavy snow-storms which were amphitheater, and we knew that the followed by high winds. On a beautiful slight breeze of the morning had been day near the middle of April we cut replaced by a heavier one which had down our last tree, a tall stately birch,

again been replaced b)' a fifty-mile-an- from which I stripped the bark to be hour gale which drove fine particles of used in the future for post cards. By sharp snow crj'stals against our cheeks this time the snow was nearly gone. almost hard enough to draw blood. We Spring's activity was in evidence every- peered through our inadequate shelter to where. Chipmunks chattered and where the storm was raging unimpeded. scolded us from a safe distance. Far to I could see nothing but a great white, the west we heard the lone cry of a great

blinding, billowing wall of snow. It timber wolf and the answering call of its would have been almost impossible for mate. The friendly "honk" of wild

us to face it, and we realized what little geese came faintly to us as the big birds

chance we had of finding our way home propelled themselves, at half-mile alti- just then. My father took a small ther- tudes, towards Hudson Bay. Frogs

mometer from his pocket and hung it on croaked in the small sloughs. The water

a tree for a few minutes. The alcohol in the river gurgled boisterously in its dropped to fortj^-two degrees below zero. mad rush to the Red River with the last It had been only ten below zero when we cargo of melted snow. The pussy left for work in the morning. We willows were almost ready to be replaced worked and warmed ourselves alter- by dark green leaves. The wolf willows nateh' for the rest of the day while the had already produced the silvery gray

[26] 3^

leaves which do their bit to protect the that soon a twenty-two-inch "breaker" great gray beast for which they are plow, drawn by a big tractor, with the named. The smell of damp earth was in motor roaring its protest, would be tear- the air. This was indicative that the ing through the roots of the trees which frost was fast leaving the ground, and lay so neatly corded along the line fence.

Miniature Highways Robert Arnold

Theme 14. Rhetaric I, 1933-34 WHEN Len Small, as governor of carried from the nearby creek. Water Illinois in 1925, made the drive for to be mixed with the clay could be had more hard roads in this state, he struck from a pump close by. Tractors, rollers, a responsive chord in the hearts of the and cement mixers were salvaged from farm boys of our neighborhood. Our junk piles ; their only resemblance to dads hired out their teams to work on actual road building equipment was the road gangs, leaving us small boys at names we gave them. Childish imagina- home to tmy our older brothers who tion ever}-\vhere put life into the lifeless. had the good fortxme to go with the men Younger sisters and brothers were to help tend and feed the horses at the begged or bribed by the employment construction camp. Our spirits were low bureau into helping as workmen. Each as we gathered one morning in the front engineer had drawn his personal set of yard of our home to talk things over. blue prints, but alas, all the blue prints All conversation centered about one sub- were different; the result was that the ject: hard roads. To us it seemed that roads were planned to run in the same ever^-body who was doing anj-thing general direction but none over the same worth while was building roads. We route. That fact perturbed nobody, how- wanted to build roads, too. As we thus ever, as it was decided that, because of talked, an idea struck us that we could the profusion of materials and workmen build our own hard roads. Sure! WTiy and the promise of hea\y traffic, a road not? Good ones, right in our own front was to be built from each blue print. yard! They would be just like real hard With gleeful spontaneity- construction roads. Possibilities overwhelmed us. began. We would begin at once. Of course the engineers had to demon- But things had to be done with a sys- strate to their half-interested workmen tem. Materials were needed, tools and the way in which the road was to be road equipment were in demand, work- built. But once the workmen got their men must be hired, and blue prints must hands in the day, they needed no stimu- be made. Everybody was busy. The lation. They discovered road building to engineering staff proved verv- resource- be fun. The clay was responsive to the ful. It decided that the basic material of touch of tiny fingers. How fascinating our concrete was to be yellow clav to be to mold the doughy stuff into ctilverts,

[27] 4^

into crossings, or into bridges! If there staff could give no satisfactory settle- were no rivers for the bridges, bridges ment of the question. It recognized the were made anyway, and rivers were dug assets that the right to Lake Michigan out under them later. Such was the zeal represented but could do nothing about of the workmen that the engineers be- the problem. Everybody was making came workmen also, and everybody was claims. The department of highways building a road of his own. Roads were was in an uproar. There were rumors

every^vhere. Roads ran parallel ; roads of political "pull," but no politician crossed roads and then crossed back. seemed to be in power. Then came the The yard was a maze of roads. It would end. have been a paradise for Len Small. The First Lady, who was darning The sun gave down a merciless heat. the socks of the Chief Executive, was All construction operations had passed alarmed by the loud vociferations in the the pump and were nearing the tulip bed front yard and came outside for the first when a heated controversy arose as to time that day to determine the cause of who was to have the privilege of having the turmoil. Never did a depression his road pass over the goldfish pool that more completely stop work than did the lay in front of the tulip bed. To have presence of the First Lady stop the hard the supreme experience of building a road program for that day. The neigh- road across the pool was highly desirable borhood playmates were sent home. We because the pool had been named Lake children, no longer pompous engineers, Michigan, and who wouldn't want to were called into the house for dinner. have the distinction of building a bridge Our highways, like our dreams, were left across Lake Michigan! The engineering to dissolve in the rain.

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My Impressions of Oberammergau Lloyd Nemeyer

Theme 6. Rhetoric II. 1933-34 UP, UP, UP through the rolling Ba- shops or standing in little groups talking, varian hills we climbed, sometimes while around them swayed the country to such dizzy heights that it seemed we folk clad in their best in honor of the must touch the brilliant blue heavens. festivals. The women wore long full Sometimes a steep descent would drop skirts, red, blue, or black, with clean us through pine gorges with a sparkling aprons and bright-colored kerchiefs mountain cascade below. Pine woods crossed over their breasts. The men stretched for miles above, around, in wore homespun breeches and short front, and on every side, filling the air jackets, with heavy wool stockings and with invigorating scents. Two auto- hob-nailed shoes. Inquiring for a place mobiles took our party along these fine to sleep for two nights, we found that roads to Oberammergau. We were a every room in the hotel and the two inns jolly party, all of us thrilled with the was filled to capacity, and it was left for thought of visiting for the first time the us to find a room with some peasant of village of the Passion Play. Pointing to the village. a huge, picturesque mountain range, our Meanwhile, our traveling agent se- guide told us, "Over there lies Oberam- cured us lodging for the night at the mergau." There it was, nestling in the home of Herr Rutz, who interpreted in quiet exquisite Bavarian Alps, this little the Passion Play the character of Annas, city that breathes peace to body and soul. the high priest. We were met at the As we approached, we felt the spell of door by Frau Rutz, a beaming, round- this quiet village, which remains un- faced old lady, wearing a huge blue and moved by the spectacle of visitors com- white checked apron. She showed us to ing and going at the rate of some eight our rooms, and we were very much or ten thousand a day. Entering the pleased with them, for they proved to be village, we drank in the atmosphere of comfortable. Frau Rutz was a talkative joyous and bustling life that imbued the person, and it was not long before we quaintly straggling streets. The neat old- learned that she had seen five different fashioned houses were painted white or performances of the Passion Play, and pink, and decorated with elaborate had much to tell of the preparations and frescoes of religious subjects in color. tremendous enthusiasm that everyone in We were surprised at the simplicity of the village feels for his inherited art and it all. Tiny girls with blond braids were mission. One look into the faces of busy with twig brooms brushing away those peasants told us of the idealism fallen leaves from garden boxes. burning in their hearts, for each one Flowers greeted us everywhere. Window strives to emulate the holy characters in boxes were gay with geraniums, roses, his daily life in order that he may be and petunias. No two houses seemed accounted worthy to take part in the quite the same, though many were identi- play. Herr Rutz, a hearty peasant with cal in style and all were scrupulously a reddish beard and sparkling blue eyes, clean and dainty. Crowds of eager-eyed appeared as we were ready to eat dinner. visitors, deeply impressed by the spirit He gave us a very gracious greeting, and, of the place, were wandering into the as he could not speak a word of English,

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his wife and daughter, Anna, explained the play. Later at six all the bells of the that his tardiness was due to the rehears- village pealed out in an effort to awaken ing of several scenes for the following everyone. By seven we were eating a day. At the close of the evening meal, breakfast of homemade bread, eggs, and Anna became our hostess, and we carried hot chocolate. As soon as we finished on a delightful conversation. She told eating, we were on our way towards the us many things about the village and the theater, stopping here and there at a Passion Play history, and I shall attempt fruit or candy shop to buy apples and to present some of the more important candy to lunch on during the morning. items of our conversation. Shortly we came to the huge outdoor It seems that about three hundred theater which seats nearly six thousand years ago, while the Thirty Years War spectators. The audience was covered was ravaging Germany, a terrible plague by a canopied roof. The stage and part broke out in the valley and villages of of the orchestra were in the open with the Bavarian highlands. Oberammergau, the mountain scenery clearly visible in encircled by protecting mountains, felt the background. The stage was immense reasonably safe, but for greater assur- — having a main stage and two side ance the village authorities established a stages. Scenes were arranged on rollers blockade permitting no one to go or underneath the platform so that the lapse come. There was, however, an inhabi- of time between acts would be short. tant of the village working in a neighbor- We were fortunate in having seats in the ing town, and this man was seized with a center about forty rows back, for if we sudden homesickness. Perhaps he felt had been further back, we would have that his end was near and wished to be needed opera glasses to gain a clear near his family. At any rate, he made vision of the characters. his way back to Oberammergau by night, Before the play began we glanced over and succeeded in eluding the guards and our booklets, noting the principal actors entering the village. In three days he in the drama. Anni Rutz (this lady is was dead and with him forty inhabitants. to be distinguished from our hostess of In their need, the terror-stricken villag- the same name), a tall, graceful blonde, ers resorted to prayer, as was their pious played the part of Mary the Mother of custom, but now the thought occurred to Christ. This part, of course, is the most some of them that a religious vow might sacred of all women's roles, and to play

placate the Divine Wrath and turn the it is a very coveted honor. Talent and plague away. After careful deliberation absolute purity of character are the req- the peasants decided to make a promise uisites for this part. Anni, from her to perform the Passion of Christ, repeat- appearance on the stage, certainly ful-

ing it at ten-year intervals. The plague filled these requirements. Guido Mayr abated at once, and in gratitude the played the part of Judas, and his acting peasants fulfilled their vow, which has was brilliant. To me this seemed a most been faithfully kept ever since. difficult part to play since Judas was so At five in the morning a dozen sets of unlike these kind Bavarian people. Alois chimes rang out, announcing that we Lang, a young woodcarver, famous in were in a city devoted to religion and Bavaria for the beauty of his sacred religious memories. These chimes called statues and images of Jesus, played the

to mass all the peasants taking part in part of the Christus. He is a tall, young

[30] peasant, with fine features, wavy brown were shown against the background of hair, and the quiet expression of strength an old religious painting, with Michael one would expect of Jesus. Alois is the Angelo's "Moses" as the central figure, son of Anton Lang, who in 1900, 1910, dominating and inspiring the whole. The and 1922 portrayed the Christus. The acts in Part I showed the priests plotting part of John, the beloved disciple, is against Christ ; the Last Supper, which played by another member of the Lang was an identical copy of the painting by

family. Nothing was so noticeable as the da Vinci ; the betrayal of Christ by fact that these peasant people were not Judas ; and his second entry into Jeru- merely acting, but that they seemed to salem. Not until twelve o'clock did we live and breathe their parts. Could one realize that we had been sitting so long have forgotten the crowd around him, he on the wooden benches. might easily have imagined himself liv- Promptly at two o'clock we were in ing and walking with the Saviour some our seats, eager for the second part to nineteen hundred years ago. A soft blast begin. The more outstanding acts in this of the trumpet told us the pageant was part included: Christ before Annas and ready to begin. Caiphas, the remorse of Judas, Christ Simultaneously, the orchestra swelled before Pilate, and Christ on his way to into an overture that lifted every thought Calvary. The Crucifixion act was the into harmony with the occasion. Slowly most impressive and realistic scene of all. the spokesman and the chorus entered, It appeared as if the nails were indeed fifty men and women in all, wearing driven into the hands and feet of Christ, beautiful white gowns with colored for there was no visible sign of support throw-overs. Most of the women and for his body. This scene lasted some all of the men had long hair, chiefly twenty minutes, and the sobs and cries blond, though there were one or two from the audience made it doubly im- curly red heads. Their voices were not pressive. During the middle part of the cultivated, but by that very fact they afternoon rain began to fall, seeming in seemed more real and natural. After some subtle way to deepen the illusion,

the chorus finished its first number, it so that we watched the players through retired to the extremities of the central the misty veil of rain. The mist kept up stage, and the first tableau was presented. until the end of the Crucifixion scene.

In it Adam and Eve were represented as Finally, strange as it may seem, the sun being driven out of the Garden of Eden. broke through the clouds just as the As the tableau was exposed to the spec- Resurrection scene was starting. Never tators, the chorus gave in song the story had I witnessed anything quite so

of its significance. The second tableau wonderful as that impressive moment. depicted the Adoration of the Cross. Then came the grand Hallelujah chorus, Immediately following, came the first act and the drama was over.

of the play. It began with the scene of Each visitor, I believe, went forth as I Christ's triumphant entry into Jerusalem. did, with a feeling that he could be more Preceding each of the eighteen acts was sincere and more faithful to the light one or more tableaux from the Old within his soul, since he had watched Testament, showing the ancient prophe- these peasants re-kindling the beautiful cies and happenings and connecting them ideas that have come down through the with the scene to follow. The tableaux centuries from the life of Jesus Christ.

[31] Lack of space prevents the publishing of some excellent themes by the following students:

E. L. Albin L. K. Offenbecker

Donald F. Anderson G. J. O'Neil Herbert Appleman Porter Orr Nancy Branyan Robert Pelatowski Gerin Cameron Doris Putnam Ruth Cogdal Robert Roane AIyrtle Edwards A. Rossi Elizabeth Hills Barbara Ruth

R. S. Holty Wilson J. Seldon Margaret Louise F. Marshall Smith Lehmann Edward Weise Robert H. Levin P. M. Wheeler Grace Liesendahl W. E. Willard

H. J. Morrison Wyolene Young

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