WHEN FELIX SPEAKS THE WORLD LISTENS

IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION 18th NOVEMBER 1971 No. 305

make funds dependent on good relations with the college, which is by no means certain. The Union Autonomy third part of the proposals involves removal of the union subsidies to clubs and societies. This would be immediately disastrous to those with The Two weeks ago the Government issued a "con- making a one-day closure possible without the high overheads. sultative document" on the Financing of Student support of the college authorities. Two new para- graphs were added, making a total of 10, asking WHAT'S HAPPENING? Unions which, if carried out, is bound to have for the support of the trade unions and the So far, only facts have been dealt with, but far reaching effects on the structure of ICU and parliamentary Liberal and Labour parties. A some speculation on what the Government is Impossible all others like it. surprise motion, passed by a large majority thinking about might be interesting. Early this cancelled Morphy Day. The proposer suggested year, JUS was involved in lengthy discussions that it was inconsistent for students who wanted GOVERNMENT GREEN PAPER with HMG about the possibility of increasing to show that they were responsible adults to dis- grants. Nothing was then decided; at the time of The main points are as follows:— rupt traffic and generally behave in an anti-social NUS conference in April there were no pro- takes a manner. posals to discuss. Surprisingly enough (?) the Present Arrangements Government said what they were prepared to give Responsibility for approving union constitu- UNION FLEXIBILITY only two weeks after this, and consequently, very tions belongs with the university or college au- It is interesting how inflexible the union con- little discussion occurred. In the light of this thorities. it seems odd that these ideas on Student Unions little longer stitution appears to be when dealing with almost The unions are supported in the following ways: should be published only weeks before the next (i) accommodation and services provided by the anything that crops up at a meeting. For example, NUS conference where they are bound to be the final note on the motion. This could not very fully discussed. There are various conclu- institution; (ii) subsidy provided by the institu- sions to be drawn from this. Possibly they are tion: (iii) membership subscriptions from local actually be voted on until someone had formally trying to see how much they can effect without education authorities; (iv) profits from their own opposed the motion. Does this suggest a posi- producing undue criticism. Alternatively they activities, trading, social activities and invest- might be hoping for a great fuss about the idea ments. tive indication of unanimous membership is im- of voluntary membership, with NUS passing possible? various motions about it. They will then offer Payment of Union Subscriptions to negotiate on the proposed system eventually CORRECTIONS giving way to NUS demands. Thus, we are Majority of full time students receive manda- thereafter likely to have union subsidised clubs tory awards, part of which is paid to the union So much for the general background but and societies, but will find registration necessary. by the LEA. what does it all mean? Before that, however, The Registrar's powers could be so wide-ranging There is considerable variation in the amount the straightforward inaccuracies can be dealt that union self-government could be altered or of union subscriptions. It is estimated that the destroyed. annual expenditure on student unions is about with:— £3 million. (i) The survey supported by NUS was in fact PLAN OF ACTION Defects in the Present System conducted with the hope of bringing polytechnic ICU's reply to this is thus to totally reject the plans and to plan a long-term campaign The main defects in the present system are unions up to the level of university unions. This against them. Yesterday there was a march of all as follows: has not, in fact, been published and so the USK colleges to the DES to protest — I was government is using it out of context. assured that given good weather, about 2000 (i) Local authorities have very little control from USK were expected. over the level of subscription. (ii) It is claimed that neither the Government Of all recent legislation this is the most likely (ii) Since subscription increases are paid by nor the UGC has any control over union subs. to affect individual students. It is not something which will gradually occur, it is planned to make the local authorities the system does not en- Apart from being untrue it implies that union courage careful inspection of union money. the changes next Autumn. The most important management is so irresponsible as to raise the point to remember is that no actual division in Parliament is necessary for all this to become (iii) At the moment some unions spend com- fees for no reason. In fact, people standing for And so the intrepid band of Felix reporters, in- pulsorily obtained money on activities more law. The proposals will be presented and unless suited to voluntary contribution. official union positions must show themselves someone wishes to discuss it, nothing can be cluding no less a personage than the editor to be highly responsible, otherwise they just won't done to stop them. Thus our only hope is to get himself, set out to obtain, by fair means or foul, enough people in the country as a whole in- (iv) Part-time students may prefer not to join photographs of the Miss World contestants. union. get elected. terested so that discussion occurs. More than moral support is called fori Possible Courses of Action (iii) The paper says that colleges are not strict A phone call to the Albert Hall gave us the (i) A Registrar to provide some form of control necessary information — the organisers, who enough in their vetting of student money. Again were the people to see about press tickets, could over union operation. untrue, as the union has to submit detailed in- be found at the girls' hotel in Grosvenor Square. (ii) Make union membership voluntary. formation to get grant increases. "They must be expecting trouble — they've got the army guarding the door." (iii) Make unions compete for money with (iv) Students often vote money to causes un- Leaving the American Embassy we went up to other university departments. related to the university, e.g., political move- Proposed New System the first floor of the hotel via the ultra-modern ments. This appears to have substance as it lift, complete with piped music. (i) All students are automatically members does happen. However the money used for "Sorry dears, they've all left," was the first line of the union of that institution without paying of defence, but the fearless reporters were not any subscription but they may still use union these payments is that collected as profit from to be stopped so easily. However, "Superman" facilities. union activities and it is quite justifiable, if a managed to persuade us that perhaps we didn't majority agree, that this money may be used really want those pictures after all. Downstairs (ii) Individual clubs are financed by increased again and another phone call to the Albert Hall: subscriptions from members. for anything. In the case of Sussex, who tried "Sorry, we can't help you." (iii) Unions would be financed by college using public money for an ultra-vires payment The only course of action remaining was to authorities. further legislation is unnecessary as this is al- sit and wait for the girls to come out. The ready an unconstitutional Act by the union. camera was set up at the back door where we UNION MEETING caught our first glimpse of Miss Malta. (It is ICU's immediate reaction to this was to call only a small island, not many people); mean- an emergency union meeting which succeeded SOLUTION while several coaches pulled up outside the in filling the Great Hall. At this, a motion was The suggested "solution" to these problems front door. We arrived there just in time to see it disappear round the back, but managed to get discussed condemning government interference involves removal of compulsory subs, to unions, in union affairs and calling for a National Day some very good pictures of the coaches. giving the extra money to the student. This of Action eventually to be followed by a National Back to the Albert Hall in record time (the one-day closure of all colleges in Great Britain. would remove a college union's ability to speak policeman blinked, so we didn't get caught for This was passed by an overwhelming majority on behalf of students of that University. Money speeding) to find several rows of police and but not before various amendments had been Women's Lib. demonstrators between us and attached. The last paragraph was amended, being allocated by the college to the union would the contestants. Page 2 FELIX Thursday, November 18, 1971 McLOOGE Expounds!

THE WHO Presuming that the rest a suitable college code of A big membership drive of this paper is crammed discipline. On the morning will probably start after One of the problems of England after working at ception they deserved but with news, views and the green paper was pub- Christmas and close liais- writing anything about a Fillmore East in New this lack of appreciation, events associated with the lished the Rector and I fin- on will be maintained with was I suppose, predict- Government's Green Paper ally agreed on the last External and Academic Af- group as popular as the York. The theatre is cer- able from an audience that (AND SO IT SHOULD BE!) draft. Thus now the Rector fairs and the Rag. If you Who is that almost every- tainly ideal for presenting came to see The Who. what else has been going has to submit it to the are interested now, contact thing has been said about groups, holding 3,000 They took the stage in pre- on? Studies and Board of Damion Cummins (Union dictable fashion, joining Board of Governors for ap- floor rep c/o Union Office them already. In between people, and a lot has been Diversification — Your 5 the can-can dancers, and reps at the Board of Stud- proval and I have to sub- and Met P.G.) or Brian the times that the group spent on alterations, such started off at such a fan- ies meeting presented the mit it to Union Council and Harris (Geophysics P.G.). releases something new, as raising the stage, to en- tastic pace that it seemed paper "Review" of First a U.G.M. I believe it's a Vacation Training—Fol- impossible that they could writers will scurry around hance the audiences enjoy- Degree Courses at l.C. fair document but it's also lowing the meeting of this keep it up for two hours. Unfortunately the chair- a very important one—thus committee, it was decided searching for some facet ment. The view from even "I Can't Explain", "Substi- man (i.e. the Rector) come to the U.G.M. (18th that a detailed analysis of their music that has not the cheapest seats is per- tute", "Sumertime Blues", seemed to want to settle November, Great Hall 1.00 should be done within "My Wife", "BabaO'Riley", been brought to light. It fect and uninterrupted, un- the matter before any dis- p.m.) and scrutinise it College to see if the Vaca- "Bargain", "Behind Blue cussion took place. "I closely (copies should be like the Albert Hall where tion Training Office per- would be nice to say that Eyes", a sizeable chunk think we can agree that available in the Union forms a function that is everything that the group from some seats you can't from "Tommy", "Won't the Academic Director O.S.S. (Organisation for wanted (a lot of people get Get Fooled Again" and did when they appeared at see a thing. I hope that the needs to be appointed as Office beforehand). jobs through Depts. or "My Generation" followed soon as possible, however can't work for 8 or so the Rainbow Theatre was spiralling prices of top each other in rapid succes- Community Action — groups do not cause the I feel that the former re- Social Service) and Com- weeks or would rather take completely new and to de- sion: It seems incredible commendation passed (to manual better paid work). same fate to befall the that Townsend's opera, munity Action have got to- vote a whole paragraph to Rainbow as happened to approve I.C.U. policy in gether within IC and by the Pay rates have risen well played continually for two diversification as college this last year—over 55 per an ambitious new opera the Fillmores. The only years, could still bring time you have read this, criticism to come to light policy) is a matter that we will have presented to cent of the jobs paid over by Pete Townsend, per- such an ecstatic reaction can't be rushed and needs the Grant fare (and letters so far is that the beer pric- from the audience, unless Union Council a draft of haps, or at least something es are astronomical, but a lot of thinking about"— their new constitution for are being sent to all those every one of them, like me, thus despite a general who didn't bother to point that hasn't yet been com- then you can't have every- had not seen the group be- approval. They will be- thing. complete agreement en- out this fact to them). A mitted to record. Of fore. come a major sub-commit- What better way to open dorsement of the "spirit tee of the Union (like Ex- lot of the work done by the course this was not the the Rainbow could there As "My Generation" and principles" of our sub- ternal Affairs, Rag Com- Vac. Training Board is bas- case and probably never be than with the Who? The drew to a close a screen mission and repeated mittee) and receive fin- ed on very important feed- Union please for a deci- back—so if you want Vac. will be. Few groups would group played there with went up behind the group ance direct from the Un- Quiver on November 4th, and blinding spotlights sion, the Rector managed ion. This merger fulfils 3 Training this Summer and dare open their show with 5th and 6th, and all 9,000 shone on the audience— to finish the discussion off: aims (1) To give Commun- haven't handed back your a song they first did seven tickets for the three con- their generation I had "I think we can use the ity Action its rightful im- Employee's form, please minutes of the meeting as do so as soon as possible. years ago, but the Who did certs had sold out within never thought of the group portant place within the five hours. before as an environmen- a true record of our feel- Union; (2) to place it on Also apply early for jobs— with "I Can't Explain" and tal one like say, Pink ings". Thus it's back to the a more reliable financial there are a lot now in the According to reliable old slog of trying to con- office that if not filled soon got away with it. Nothing sources (the group them- Floyd, but their light show, footing; (3) to bring to- working in conjunction vince some departments in gether the somewhat poli- may be withdrawn. Re- they did was younger than selves) the Thursday night the college that not every member—if you think we concert was not particular- with Joe's Lights, was tically oriented Commun- the "Who's Next" album beautifully sympathetic to one of their students wants ity Action people (who are not doing our job or if ly successful, but on Fri- to be a super specialist. you've got any sugges- and I loved it. day the Who went down a the music. And if you basically believe the cause thought that Keith Moon of the ailment should be tions—don't hesitate to storm. Whether they told come into the Union Office The Rainbow Theatre, Saturday's audience the on drums was just a show- removed (eg bad land- man and a jester, I can Discipline — approxi- lords etc.) and purely Soc —the more the merrier. what used to be the Fins- same as they told us is a mately four years ago the AND LET'S SMASH THIS matter of conjecture. now announce that he'll ial Service people (who bury Park Astoria, is Lon- wipe the floor with your college and union got to- keep to the ailment itself.) GREEN PAPER! Quiver opened the show gether to start working out don's newest and most Ginger Bakers and your although they were preced- Carl Palmers any day. ambitious rock venue. It ed by a bevy of can-can Everyone knows how good has been heralded as the dancing girls who received Pete Townsend is as a warm applause as well as guitarist so I needn't men- British successor to the many cries of "Get em' now defunct Fillmore tion that; he was however UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE off". The group had im- wearing a silver boiler suit Theatres in the States, and proved greatly since I last and did not smash his gui- saw them and now have a is the brainchild of John tar. There's some news for Is I.C. Educated? flawless P.A. system. The you! Morris, who was partly re- sound is quite country in- sponsible for the (mis) fluenced and similarities to As a conclusion I shall Drring Drring, Drring all fighting for the privilege goes into strict training, no the Grateful Dead are un- Drring, of making IC an even more sex. drink, or academic management of the Wood- say that the Who are defi- mistakeable, particularly nitely the best live band in "Good morning, Union unpopular place to come work for the next fortnight. stock Festival and the Fill- during the fluent periods the world but something Office"— to. A quick run through 40 Each member of the team mores. of jamming featuring the new would have been ap- Armitage answered the University Challenge ques- has been chosen for his guitars of Tim Renwick preciated, otherwise jour- phone. tions left no doubt in our knowledge of a specific The resident lightshow, and Cal Batchelor. The nalists will be losing their "Oh!" he ejaculated. minds—we ought to with- subject and they are all draw immediately! But wily training accordingly. One Joe's Lights, has moved to group did not get the re- jobs. "Perhaps you had better speak to someone higher Dave (pinball) Amos hav- member of the team is up." ing a quick eye for an easy locked in Queen's Tower, profit said "No—we keep where he is studying areo- "Dave, would you like to in 'cos the Union gets a nautics by dropping large CHRISTMAS EDITION speak to someone on the hundred quid". lumps of masonry on pass- Do you want to read books phone?" So sometime in the fut- ing students, another is The next edition of FELIX will be the Super Bumper by:- "No" replied the weary living in a Mooney kitch- NUS card stamper. "Some- ure Simon Albault, Paul Christmas issue, complete with Free Gift. It will be Ernest Hemingway en observing flora and one from the Granada TV" McCartney, Z. Kronberge, published on 9th December. All copy for this issue M. Corney, P. Wardle get fauna while another is at James y^ldridge Armitage added. "Certain- Maria Assumpta watching should reach the editor by 2nd December at the latest. ly!" the now not so recalci- a free trip to Manchester, the home of Granada Tele- strange habits. The re- Marghanita l_aski trant secretary shouted as mainder of the team is she leapt for the phone. vision. It is not all hard Alan Qrury work either, the whole avidly watching the past Perhaps that isn't exact- team, besides getting all 230 programmes of Uni- Margery ^llingham ly the way things happen their travel and ancillary versity Challenge some- when Granada Television where in an isolated TV Vladimir Nabokov costs reimbursed, also get People Required decided that IC had been a free booze-up and hotel studio. too long off the screen but George gliot for the night. People are required for obtaining advertisements it is characteristic of the What do we get out of for FELIX. This is a very rewarding job involving meet- Get them from the way things have develop- Hope and pray you don't it??—£100 an appearance ing and dealing with people with the chance to show Haldane Library ed. meet someone like New (i.e. £100 only) and free Last Thursday 4th Nov- College, Oxford, in the first coach to Manchester. off your business acumen (or lack of it!) in a harmless Level 2, Library Block ember IC Union Office was round, otherwise goodbye Don't miss them when way. A must for all future graduates. All those interested Open Mon. to Fri., 10 — 5.30 thronged with IQ's of fame and fortune, IC. they are on—see them please contact J. B. Stares, Math II or Linstead 333. 180+ (MENSA watch out) The team at the moment crush Pamper Grassgroin! Thursday, November 18, 1971 FELIX Page 3

are unemployed or living EDITORIAL LETTERS on starvation wages? Does he not realise the plight of What's A new leader is born and may we all rejoice!! For MORPHY DAY sentative of the Union, and the Old Age pensioners? the new leader was not just simply born but grew in to implement the decisions Does he not realise that the style of all true leaders. Dear Sir, of the Imperial College these people do not have It all began with an emergency drive for economy. Hallelujah! At last! etce- Union Council, at the last enough money to live on, On Save, save and hang the cost. I speak, of course, of our tera. meeting of which a motion yet alone bank? These NOVEMBER good friend Mrs. T. Morphy Day was cancel- was passed calling for the people are not concerned Her true rise to power began, when she was appoint- led in all but name by the Retention and Preservat- about the name of a bank. Thur 18 ed to lead the Department of Education and Science. Union Meeting on the 3th 12.30 pm Room 303 Mines. I.C. ion of the Gas Street I suggest, Harry, you have Scouts and (iuide Club "Infor- She only practised her economy drive in a small way November. Unfortunately lighting in Prince Consort our priorities wrong. mally Us". at first with her 'every family should keep a cow in their this was done only as a Road. Mon 22 back garden' campaign, and she was most unjustly P.R. action, we students I utterly reject these im- Ron Parker, 7.30 pm Mech. Eng. Theatre A accused of penny-pinching. Shocked by these accusa- being told that the can- Messenger. Wellsoc "An Anatomy of Hum- plications as a vile slur on our" Dr. S. Goodlad. tions, power rushed to her head and she began to celation was in reality just on my character and posi- Tues 23 produce her master plan to save not pennies, but mil- a postponement, which (in tion; I consider that my 20.00 am—12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm Ions of pounds. Indeed the whole annual higher educa- our opinion) is a shame. A LOAD OF OLD Union Concert Hall. Blood Don- honour has been question- ing Session. Sign for appoint- tion bill. We would really like to see ed, leaving me little alter- RUBBISH the students here waking ment in JCR Coiiege Block. Any The plan began with a seemingly harmless step. A native but to call you out. Dear Sir, queries—contact I. Mcwalter, practice adopted by all the more successful business up to their responsibilities; Falmouth 125. not continually pursuing Sir, I ask you to settle Although you must sure- establishments which she applied to student unions. this issue in the accus- Wed 24 such actively destructive, ly have been inundated 9.30 am-12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm. Giving away every facility you have, was the obvious tomed, but generally dis- with letters on this subject, road to success for any business and as expected pointless and futile exerci- Union Concert Hall. Blood Don- ses as Morphy Day. used, fashion. I refer, I feel obliged, neverthe- ing Session. student unions went broke and passed away quite should you remain in less, to express my views 8.U0 pm Great Hall I.C. Sym- quickly and quietly. But wait; next came the masterly Let's face it, Morphy doubt, to the ancient on this, perhaps the most phony Orchestra. stroke. Once student unions were removed students Day and its contemporar- Playing:— science of duelling. important question of the SCHUBERT. Overture to Rosa- don't have any entertainment and they can't fight any ies might do more than to- Naturally I leave the century. I refer of course munde. further legislation. It is obvious now that as they aren't tally alienate public opin- choice of venue and wea- to the present controversy WALTON. Viola Concerto. distracted from their work they can do their degree in ion. It might even be a pons to yourself: I hope over plastic milk bottles. TCHAIKOVSKY. Symphony No. two years. A brilliant idea and as nobody grumbled factor in dear Maggie's de- and trust that this whole 4. cision itself. Perhaps our Much has been said Conductor: JAMES STOBART. (how could they without a union) two year degrees business will be settled against these inoffensive Soloist; JUDY SWAN. become the thing to do. favourite government now with the utmost speed. Tickets 25p at door or from feels that this green paper containers and yet they Still, all good leaders have their Waterloo. As plan- have not retaliated in any members of the Orchestra. could now drift through Thur 25 ned the students that haven't committed suicide have I remain, Sir, way. Have you ever had to leave college on mental grounds and so we have the parliamentary motions 9.30 am-12.00, 2.00-4.00 pm. and become law, simply Your obedient servant, thought about the other Union Concert Hall. Blood Don- saved the cost of all the silly universities, haven't we? side of the argument? How ing Session. Also we've made all that money from selling the build- because the paper doesn't Martin C. Black 12.30 Room 303 Mines "Caving matter to the "average would you like to be a ings so what's wrong? Could Mrs. T. have forgotten plastic milk bottle?—un- Film". that she has also a responsibility to educate people as man". It is with deep regret All Overseas Students are re- that I must inform you Mr. loved, unwanted, condem- minded that now is the time to well as watching her budget. Complete removal from "Who cares? Bloody ned without a fair trial. For apply to the British Council for the Department of Education and Science is the only hooligans anyway". He Black that as the slur oh some unfortunate plastic Hospitality with English Families reward for this woman. If every student plays his part might say. your character, to which milk bottles there is noth- during the holiday. You are war- and does everything in his power to fight this stupid The only answer we at you refer, appeared in Fe- ing more we can do—they ned that there is no afternoon licity, I cannot accept any transport on Christmas Day and green paper, with luck she may get it. I.C. could come up with for have been melted down to you may like to go and stay sure is that we care. And responsibility for it and unrecognisable lumps, but with a family over this period. This issue of Felix, the newspaper of Imperial College Union, over this particular issue can only suggest that you we can save others this Apply, in person if possible, to was edited by Dave Sugden, aided and abetted by Tony Upton, take the matter up with the the Hospitality Section, British Oily 'Credits' Dowson, Dave Gribble, Andrew Melvin, Colette we do. With respect, its ignominious end. Luckily Council, 11 Portland Place, Lon- Robertson, Ross McBeath and Bernard Williams. Features: Stephen about time!! Students here editor of Felicity. for us these plastic bottles don, W.1. Amor and Katy King . . . The sports editor is Chris Potter and have been going through a I do, however, take seri- are not unreasonable. It is the reviews were by John Bryan, Stephen Amor and Bob Carter period of extreme immatur- ous exception to the sug- not too late to make am- Dear Sir, . . . Malcolm Bailey is the photographic editor assisted by Colin gestion that I am a man McCall, Steve Heap and Stuart Campbell . . . Typing by Jane ity; it's about time we ends for our past undoings _ I must protest about who would lower myself to Cornish. The advertising agents are University Press Representa- GREW UP. That doesn't —they are willing to for- FELIX getting itself into tives, Grand Buildings, Trafalgar Square, London WC2. Felix is mocking the afflicted, and mean we should all be give and to forget. Surely boring politics again. I printed by F. Bailey & Son Ltd., Dursley, Gloucestershire, and is unless you, Mr. Black, published by the editor on behalf of I.C.U. Publications Board, good boys and work, work, it is now up to us to go out refer of course to your make a public apology London SW7 2BB, (01) 589 2963, Int. 2881. Business and circula- work. What we should do and meet them half-way? malicious editorial slander within the week, I, sir, shall tion is organised by your own John 'Emergency' Stares . . . is try to lose our apathy, We cannot alter the past, of our comrades the I.R.A., (Copyright Felix 1971) try to become involved as be forced to call you out I but we can assure them of much as possible, try not who, you unfortunately al- a better future, and a bet- lege, were responsible for Films. Processing etc. at to waste our valuable non- D. Sugden ter tomorrow. remarkable costs. P. Ste work time. We owe it to the recent fireworks at the Small venson, Tizard 613. ourselves, our college and Dear Sir, Perhaps there are a few Post Office Tower. Garrard SP25 Mark II with our society to do and think niggling doubts left in The I.R.A. are courag- As a non student reader eously struggling, along AT66. Complete with something constructive. of FELIX I must congratu- your mind? You wonder Plinth and built-in pre-am- Anything. perhaps where we can with the working masses, Ads late you on the new for- for the liberation of Ulster plifier. 2—3 years old. £15 mat: I think it has made store these aesthetic ob- jects? I do not refer to the and its reuniffication with SNOOPY' DOGS FOR o.n.o. T. Royds, EE2. Sincerely, the magazine more inter- SALE Felix Small ads. are free Ian Stock five or six hundred plastic Eire, where they will be esting and has cut out a milk bottles every family free to spread the illegalis- and successful! For inser- Phil Brading lot of the political rubbish tion in coming issue leave will keep around their ation of birth control and Sir, that regularly appeared in house—Five or six hund- ban the books of Ireland's copy in the Felix letter its contents. racks. red that give their home its best writers. I reject the implication But the main reason for informal "lived in" appear- Lifts offered. Frequent published in the last edi- writing this is to reply to Yours faithfully, journeys made to Mid- ance so greatly prized tion of Felicity, that I had the letter signed "Harry M. nowadays. No. We are con- P. R. O'Hack Fur Fabric, Washable, lands (Birmingham) and not fully considered the ef- Government". Does he not (pp Anytime O'Guinness) suitable gift for young South (Portsmouth). John cerned with the millions fects of the inevitable con- realise there are thous- that we will surely possess children, Chelsea mascot B. Stares, Linstead 333. version of the City of West- ands of people who would (10p extra for scarf), or Wanted Garrard SP25 in a few years time. You minster to Natural Gas, as be happy to deposit their may rest assured that suit- ornament, etc. (preferably Mark III), or a lack of confidence in my money in ANY bank? Does £2.35p similar. John B. Stares. able places will be found LAMLEY'S ability to act as a Repre- he not realise thousands for them where they can 20in. long, 10in. high. Linstead 333. Colours: Red body, white spend their next million or A Oxford or Reading. Lifts so years undisturbed—but ears and nose. Blue body, wanted most weekends — Triumph Vitesse (see last Clacton. Lifts wanted fre- white ears and nose. Other not forgotten. Even now Share petrol costs. L. Kay issue). Now reduced from quently. Geoff Bunce, Met- plans are being drawn up colours. Nicholson, Physics 3. £215 to £175. Allen Larsen tor III. for giant pyramid-like ALSO Wanted. Students to help c/o Union Bar. Evening Work at Baden structures made entirely of Ties (Assorted Colours) in small test. 10 minutes Manchester? Ride wanted Powell International empty plastic milk bottles. 60p work earns you 30p. Con- most weekends. G. Prop- House, 40p per hour. Ap- These could be monu- ' Kipper Ties (Assorted Col- tact M. Garneau, Electri- per CCA, 48 Princes Gar- ply Warden. ments to the inventors of E ours) 75p cal, Rm 1108, Int. 3152. No- dens. plastic containers. I PAPER BACKS All washable and lined. thing mysterious — very Led Zeppelin. Tickets for Female General Asst. straightforward. Housekeeper (see above). Much else can be done Contact: November 20th. Sell to first Fast Fingers? Lead Guitar- reasonable offer. Chris Sound Systems. Disco T. on a smaller scale. It is up Mrs. Johnson, ist required. Must be heav- Castell, c/o ME letter Tim Isaac 01—969—7177. to the people of this coun- Room G.9, ily inclined, see A. C. At- rack. Phoenix needs copy. try to show they care. Botany Department. kinson, EEI. Lost (Again) Address Lift to College from Swiss Yours etc., (Int. Ext. 2272). Found. Nylon Ski-Jacket Cottage most days. Alan, Book/Diary. Please return for samples. enquire at Bar (Union?). Int. Tel. 3823. to Ian Stock, Linstead 331. Meigo "Thrip" Frobisher 1 EXHIBITION ROAD, S.W.7 Page 4 FELIX Thursday, November 18, 1971

without whose help Bo Bo's Sunday Morning would have stopped work- TOUCHSTONE ing long ago. This year's Brighton Jaunt run was one of the best in Weekends away from I.C. at which general topics of For the 15th year in suc- largely due to the many recent years. Not only cession, Boanerges, the hours of hard work by Rob was Bo sent off by 50-plus interest are discussed City and Guilds veteran Mathews (Bo driver) and pyjama-clad Guildsmen There are four Touchstone Weekends each year: two in the autumn term and car, successfully com- the other members of the boomalaka-making wildly, two in the spring term. They were started in 1950 by Air-Chief Marshal Sir Roder- pleted the London - Brigh- Motor Club, who stripped but there were over 70 at ick Hill as informal weekends with a set discussional topic about the same time ton veteran car Rally on and rebuilt the gearbox, the traditional Motor Club as General Studies were founded. Both were founded to help to restore the Sunday, November 7th, overhauled the ignition meal to celebrate Bo's suc- balance between arts and science in an all-science college. I think that both with 4| hours to spare. system and carried out the cessful trip. However, we Touchstone and General Studies are a very important part of this college and The maximum average many other jobs required want 100 next year, so they offer the chance for both Staff and students to climb out of their science- speed allowed is 20 m.p.h. to bring Bo to his present wake up all of you sleeping orientated shells and gain a broader outlook on life. Both are arranged by Mr. and despite various stops excellent running condi- Guildsmen and come McDowall, who lives behind a door labelled "General Studies" on level 3, College due to overheating (mainly tion. We are also indebted along. It's a great day out Block. caused by the President's to the mechanical engi- and even if you don't like interest in the outstanding neering workshop staff cars there's an alcoholic Touchstone weekend starts on Saturday after lunch when a coach leaves from scenery) losing the Presi- choir practice on the way the Union Arch arriving at Silwood Park in time for afternoon tea. Accommoda- dent's hat (next to a beau- back. (I can't think of any tion is in dormitories in huts and is of varying degrees of comfort depending tiful girl, by chance) and Guildsman who wouldn't upon one's skill in choosing a bed. After tea everyone assembles in the senior stops for the President to like that—Ed.). common room in the main house. Mr. McDowall then explained the history and communicate with nature aims of Touchstone, these being to give staff and students an opportunity to dis- (and the women along the For those who are inter- cuss various topics that will not necessarily concern them in their work. The route) Bo managed to ested, Bo is a 1902 James guest speaker is then invited to sit on the "Soap Box of Free Speech" to give average over 19 m.p.h., ar- and Browne 9-h.p. Ton- his talk (he usually prefers to stay in his chair). The talk lasts about one hour, after riving in Brighton only 7 neau. Built in Hammer- which there is general questioning of the speaker and discussion until the bar minutes after the earliest smith, it is the elder of the opens for a pre-supper drink. After the evening meal three or four groups of permitted time. two remaining examples of about eight people are formed and sets of questions are passed around which have this marque. It has a hori- been thought up to help discussion. This performance was zontal twin-cylinder engine of 2.45 litres capacity (that's 2.45 x 1027 cubic angstroms to you R.C.S. UNION FINANCE men or 4.32 pints if you're in Mines). With its alloy In most years about 85 Committees control 85 are professionally audited, student clubs and Soci- and included in the Col- crankcase and gearbox, or 90 per cent of the straight-cut gears, giving Union's income is derived eties). lege's annual report. Ultra Vires payments. 40 m.p.h. per 1,000 r.p.m. from student fees, paid Capital Equipment in top, and triple-choke automatically. This amount Expenditure Normally at least 10% of progressive carb, it's per- in 1970-71 was £23,376. 8.5% income is obtained from formance is not far short Expenditure was about The grant administered other sources than the of (nerve) shattering. £27,000; but the balance by the Union Finance L.E.A. fees, so it is not pos- was met by income from Committee which re- sible to say that any par- The present Boanerges life members, the Union ports to Council. The ticular single item of ex- was bought by the college Bookshop, investment in- stock of equipment and penditure is a direct in 1933 when the original terest, etc. motor vehicles is worth charge on the fees. Micro- one, a Rover, was found to How was the expendi- about £16,500 and the scopic scrutiny by the have been built post-1904, ture allocated? About 34% 1970-71 grant (£2,300) Comptroller General might not in 1903 as was first of it can be grouped under was mainly used for re- identify one or two pay- thought, and hence was four broad headings:— placement of worn-out ments which could be held too young for the Brighton items. to further political opinions run (though it had com- General Services and Ad- pleted the run several ministration Constituent College that are obviously not re- Unions (£4,000). lated to the general pur- times before V.C.C. dis- 16.7% covered its correct Newspapers, duplicating 15% poses of the Union; but The C&G, RCS and RSM these would be very small age). The Rover had an and posters, repairs and ignominious end when it minor replacements, in- Unions control another indeed. __ J 40 student clubs and so- was pushed, minus its en- surances, rent of TV's, Increasing costs and the gine and gearbox, but secretarial help, sabba- cieties; and the major Union subscription. 'Silwood Park as it was in 19^7' part of their expenditure with an effigy of the tical year payments, etc. Inflation and the growth Prime Minister sat at the goes to these. of Union activities have led NUS Voluntary Subscriptions. steering wheel, to No. 10 The whole evening, with a break for a drink in the 3.5% to two increases in the rate middle is spent discussing. Usually the groups split up Downing Street, and left Half of the annual sub- Membership of most of the Union subscription to the country. around 11 o'clock or midnight and people then disperse, clubs and societies already in the past 10 years. Each many to play snooker or darts. scription (the College also contributed), stu- involves payment of sub- of these was carefully and In more recent years, Sunday morning is left completely free and most dent conference costs, scriptions, and many of responsibly assessed by Guilds has had a Bo Belle. people go for a walk in Windsor Great Park, reassem- legal aid sub. these would have to be joint College/Union work- However, after last year's ling in the "Imperial Bar" at the Cannon before lunch. very considerably in- ing groups; and accepted fiasco (supposedly the 1st After lunch everyone reassembles in the Senior Com- Publications creased if the Union by the Governors. The fee Union Meeting of the year) mon where conclusions to each question are taken 4.5% grants were terminated. was raised to £7 per stu- when Bo Belle was elec- separately and discussed, then the speaker sums up, (Felix, Phoenix, and Subs now range from the dent this year, as an in- ted, it was decided not to bringing the weekend to a close. grant to USK handbook). nominal (e.g. 12£p), to a terim measure: but it is subject the ladies of The first Touchstone Weekend of the year took place Grants to various Union level of 75p or £1 for sports agreed that it should go to Guilds to the ordeals of on 30th-31st October. The guest speaker was Sir and College organisations. clubs. Boat Club members £10 in October 1972 if the parading amidst jeers and Robert Birley, K.C.M.G., M.A., F.S.A., who talked about 9.4% pay £2.50; and Gliding Union is to meet its gene- whistles, which tended to "Nationalism Today". I found the weekend was cer- (Academic Affairs, Wel- members £10 (with very ral needs, provide ade- produce rosy cheeks and tainly the most stimulating Touchstone that I have been fare, and External Af- substantial launching fees quate staffing for the deflated egos. to. fairs Committee, Sil- and soaring fees as well). office, and fulfil its respon- As well as participating Sir Robert started by defining nationalism, quoting wood Park Committee, Travel and other costs are sibility for the upkeep of ICWA, Haldane Library, only subsidised to a limi- furniture and furnishings in in the Brighton run, Bo from various sources and using the basic definition of also takes part in many nationalism as the feeling amongst a group of people Exploration Board, and ted extent. A number of the various premises it Nightline, and the Day clubs pay instructor's fees, uses. Guilds events, including of a unique common heritage and possessing a country. Carnival collections, sup- Having set up this definition of nationalism he pro- Nursery). and many are affiliated to Hitherto the College has The remaining 66% national organisations or porting the boat crews on ceeded to talk about various cases of nationalism been the Union's paymast- Morphy Day (what was throughout history, from 90 B.C. when Corfinium at- (about £17,600) was controlling bodies. ter only in the sense that largely spent on the stu- Financial Control that about driving along tempted to free itself from the ties of Rome, to the pre- it has transmitted the ap- the bank towing some- sent day where he discussed Welsh, Scots, Quebecois, dent clubs and societies Union Council, the main propriate sums from the —an area which receives thing?), carol singing, The and African nationalisms amongst others. Sir Robert sub-committee, and the L.E.A. fees, and has ap- Lord Mayors Show and not also talked about the special problems of places like particular attention in the Constituent Colleges ap- proved the annual DES proposals. This only British but Italian Bengal and Ireland where certain minorities felt they prove detailed estimates at accounts. The new propo- Television. were being persecuted and said that it was his belief money is channelled in the start of each year. The sals could change this by that posterity would judge a nation by the way that it three ways: — Union Treasurer and eight introducing, for the first We are confident that if treated its minorities. Clubs Committees other Senior treasurers time, a conflict between the present level of sup- The next Touchstone Weekend is on 4th - 5th Decem- (£11,300). (members of staff) aid the the financial needs of the port for Bo is maintained, ber on the topic:—"America and Asia — the clash of 42.4% committees in budget con- Union and those of other cultures". This is the centenary Touchstone and so it (The Athletics, Recrea- trol. At the end of each claimants on the College's he will go on as long as will be a very special one. tional, and Social Clubs financial year the accounts overall resources. Guilds exists. Thursday, November 18, 1971 FELIX Page 5 FERMENTED FELIX I eould'nt think of a title for these so they'll have to do a wine yeast is obviously difficult to make except by extract-type wine this will 'FELIX' looks preferable. The sweetened accident. be at least nine months. yeasted juice is poured in- However carefully you without at Beer and to the jar until it is filled. think you've made the The making of beer will Any surplus is kept in a wine, snags do occur. The probably be of more inter- Wine-making, bottle for topping up the one which bothers me est to students because it main bulk during fermenta- most is that wine contin- only takes a month at the Longing for a drink? tion. The jar is stood on a ues to ferment after it has most to make. The major- Fancy a wild orgy? But tray in a warm room and been bottled even though ity of home-made beer you can't afford it, can you, soon fermentation starts it looked completely dead comes from kits of various FOR A LADY not with the extortionate and froth pours over the in the jar. There are sever- sorts complete with in- bar prices (and we all sides of the container into al remedies for this; you structions so it doesn't know where the profits go, the tray. When froth no can bang the corks in, tie seem necessary to repeat Freckles... and dark brown eyes, don't we folks?) and a them here. The equipment longer forms, the tray is them down and hope that Wide with unasked loneliness and hurt; grant which allows for £1 removed, the jar cleaned it makes a good sparkling required is almost the pocket money per week. and an airlock or loosely wine, or pour wine back in some as that for wine-mak- Lounges, trying to smile, at the top of a twisting stair- Then gentle reader per- fitting cork is fitted. When the jar, let it ferment on ing except that a larger case haps it is time you started bucket may be required gas bubbles are no longer and hope you won't be Which she thinks I shouldn't climb. making your own booze. formed, the wine is treated fooled again, or try steril- and that screw-topped cid- Expensive? Well, beer costs as follows depending on ising the bottles in boiling er bottles are much better And she wouldn't understand if I tried, so I won't, about 3p a pint and wine the type of wine required. water. I haven't tried this than corked ones. The best But I'll remember her... about 5p a bottle; draw of the kits is the one call- For dry still wines place myself but I am assured it Freckles. your own conclusions. Or the jar in a cool room for works. Many home-made ed "Geordie" which con- perhaps the idea of mak- fourteen days and syphon wines won't clear and al- tains a string bag of malt ing your own beer and and hops which is brewed wine is repugnant because just like the real thing, it smacks of Women's In- folks, other kits miss out stitutes. In fact recipes are After one you do anything well the brewing part and sup- regularly printed in such ply malt extract which just groovy rags as IT and needs to be dissolved in THE CLOTH Frendz. It requires very water. little initial outlay—you've probably got most of the There are a few points Immersed in sludgy gravy the "Coq au vin" arrived necessary materials al- And joined the cluttered cutlery ready—and the enjoyment worth making which you you get at the end is surely probably won't find in any And all the token imagery justification for the time instructions. If you can't Arrayed upon the cloth you put into it. find a saucepan big en- ough to do the brewing in, The basic materials for repeated dousing of the Soup plates now devoid, unseen, are hastily removed winemaking are as follows: malt and hops with boiling And bare space eagerly awaits A plastic or enamel bucket water seems to work just holding at least a gallon, a as well. The beer tends to Pure white enamel dinner plates glass carboy or jar holding throw down a heavy depos- That fit upon the cloth a gallon (with a cork and it which gets into the bot- tles when the beer is syp- airlock), a length of rubber Unknown exotic veg, yes, readily paraded or plastic tubing (about 3 oned off, this can be par- feet), various pots and tially offset by syphoning But dark grey potatoes are placed pans, and of course bot- off the beer twice — Far away that they should not waste once about 3 days before tles. As for ingredients, The talents of the cloth. anything can be and is add again just before bot- used, ranging from the no- tling. There will still be At last with winey finery the main course was served risk tinned grape-juice some sediment in the bot- The dinner plates were now all fulfilled A well known secretary showing the CONSOCQUENCES tom of the bottles by the wines with additions of cit- Their complacent purity killed ric acid, sulphur dioxide of Loadernberry wine. time the beer is ready, so tablets, grape tannin and when opening them de- Sacrificed to the cloth. other chemicals, to con- cant carefully into a jug off, without disturbing the though this has no effect before serving. And finally, coctions consisting of left- 'Midst undue haste starched creases have been blem- over vegetables prepared yeast deposit. The wine on the taste, it does seem don't think you failed just in traditionally repulsive can now either be bottled to detract from the aristo- because the beer doesn't ished ways such as being left to and left for 6 months be- cratic feeling some taste exactly like Star- By drops of gravy I mislaid; fore sampling or alternat- bright. It's stronger for a collect a thick mould. It is people get when sipping Strange to say fulfilment made true that quite palatable ively it can be stored in their plonk. It can be av- start. wines can still be made the jar for 6 months and oided by adding a pectoly- Sacrilege of the cloth. quite cheaply without re- then bottled for another tic enzyme (e.g. Pecto- sorting to anything doubt- 6 months. The advantages zyme) to the must before ful. of this method are that the fermentation, which should wine is less likely to fer- also ensure that fermenta- These instructions are ment in the bottle and tion is over fairly quickly, for a fairly cheap wine with more likely to be clear or by adding wine finings out chemical embellish- when drunk. For dry spark- (e.g. CWS) after fermen- ment and without a mould. ling wines bottle the wine tation. More serious is Methods of preparing the in heavy glass (champ- when the wine picks up extract to be fermented, or agne) bottles, add a tea- mould or vinegar bacteria. "must" as it is called vary spoonful of sugar to each This should be prevented with the individual recipes bottle before corking, and by an efficient airlock but but basically, for fruit and tie the corks down tightly. QNO if it does happen you might flower wines cut up or For sweet, still wines, to each gallon of fermented as well throw the wine break 4 lb. of fruit or a away. Then there is the gallon of flowers and pour wine add f lb of sugar, stir until dissolved, reinsert the case when everything on a gallon of boiling wat- seems to be fine except er. Leave for about 3 days airlock and allow to fer- ment once more. When the wine doesn't taste then strain and add 4 lbs. good. In that case you can of sugar and a teaspoon- gas is no longer formed ful of yeast; for vege- taste the wine and if it is either grin and bear it or 15 JULY not sweet add another £ try turning it into vermouth tables slice about 5 lb. and PUBLICATION simmer in a gallon of wat- lb. of sugar and referment. by adding bitter herbs. er until tender, replacing This should be repeated With a bit of luck none of FROM until the sugar remains un- these horrors will befall any water lost during the SPHERE BOOKS boiling, then strain, add 4 fermented. This shows that you and you will have a lb. of sugar and, when the the yeast is dead and more wine you will be proud to must is cool, the yeast. sugar can be added if de- show your friends, even if i Yeast can be of any sort— sired without the risk of you drink it all yourself. I brewer's or baker's yeast further fermentation. Sweet should stress that wine SPHERE works quite well although sparkling wines are very must take its own time and unless you buy a grape- Page 6 FELIX Thursday, November 18, 1971

IN BROWN ALBUMS AND VELVET FILMS: ' Private Road' and "White Light-White Heat" Velvet Underground (Re-release) MGM What is so good about this group? Groups that it is Days and Nights in the Forest definitely "in" to like come and go. Led Zeppelin, The Doors Traffic, and even Soft Machine have been and Before I start my reviews, I'd like to 'plug' a film that Satyajit Ray's film 'DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE FOR- gone from the elite. But some groups stay. The Band, Filmsoc is showing on the 19th November: the film is EST' (Paris Pullman) was the first Indian film I've ever Grateful Dead, Velvet Underground. In a recent review 'PRAISE MARX AND PASS THE AMMUNITION' which seen and I didn't know what to expect. I half expected this album was described as "probably the greatest elec- is described as a look at "the business to end all busi- a film with a very rigid structure like a Japanese film, tric rock album ever made". I listened, and half agreed. ness—Revolution". The film is directed by Maurice but what I found was a very easy going film, telling of Then an angry letter was sent to the paper in which the Hatton with John Thaw as Dom, and is well-worth see- four men who go into the country from Calcutta for a review appeared pointing out that the review of the ing. week and what happens there, it's a kind of back to album when it first came out dismissed it as repetitious nature journey which has quite humorous conse- and pretentious, and I half agreed again. Some of it is quences. Ray's technique produces a fairly even paced repetitious, certainly. "Here She Comes Now" is a bad Back to the film reviews proper. At last I managed film which does drag a little but there is always some- track, built on very limited musical ideas. But the other to see 'PRIVATE ROAD' and I would strongly recom- thing to attract your attention. tracks are repetitive only when repetition increases an mend that you should get to see it. It is like "Bronco In the next edition of FELIX I'll review some films for effect, and are never pretentious, unless songs about the Bullfrog' about young people in London but has moved Christmas; including Frank Zappa's film '200 MOTELS'. squalor of heroin-shooting can have any pretentions. The away from the East End to a more middle class area. The Also between now and 1st December sees the London Beatles, The Byrds and Country Joe could extol the film is about Peter Morissey (Bruce Robinson), an Film Festival and I shall take a look at Monte Hellman's virtues of LSD, the Stones sang about pills and what aspiring, young writer and Ann Halpern (Susan Pen- 'Two-Line Blacktop' with James Taylor and Dennis group worth its salt didn't mention cannabis in one con- haligon) a middle class secretary, who meet; they try Wilson and Stuart Rosenberg's 'WUSA' with Paul New- text or another? Only the Velvet could sing lyrics like to get away from her family first by living together in a man and Joanne Woodward. Plus any other good films "I'm searching for my mainline, I couldn't get it side- flat and then by going to the West Coast of Scotland I manage to see. ways, just like Sister Ray said". to write his novel; they go back to London where his "The Gift" is a narrative of how a man posts himself novel is rejected and Ann discovers that she is preg- to his girl because he can't afford the train fare; she nant and she retreats back to her parents where she BOOK REVIEW: and her friend can't open the parcel so her friend sticks has an abortion. It might seem to someone who has a blade right through it. It's like a horror film you've not seen the film to be a rather trite story, but behind "ALTERNATIVE LONDON" seen before and know it has a grisly ending, but each this is the director Barney Platts-Mills. Barney Platts- This is one (probably the) best guide book to London time you see it again you hope everything will turn out Mills is a director who makes films about the young and now available. Straight types should not be troubled right in the end. This track, "Sister Ray" and "I Heard undecided; Peter comes out of the film as being a very about the book's lack of applicability to them, since it's Her Call My Name" which sounds through headphones unsure person. At the end of the film he gives the im- not really so "alternative" as the name implies. It in- like having your teeth drilled, probably do qualify as the pression that he will eventually marry Ann and become cludes advice about the perennial accommodation, foremost "horror rock" songs ever made. Music for part of the 'gin cultured' middle class and his friend tenant and landlord, drugs, and of course sex, hang-ups, nightmares, bad trips, withdrawal symptoms. Horribly Steve, the non-conformist will continue to go his own with which you may or may not be familiar. Its avail- good, certainly, but not the best. After all, The Who's way. It's very hard to talk about this film is isolation from ability on the street (from part-time pushers) when you "Tommy", Pink Floyd's "Ummagumma" and Soft 'Bronco Bullfrog' as this film has so many common may be able to haggle for a reduction on 30p, or even Machine's "Third" were still to come. But we learn by themes with 'Bronco Bullfrog'. And I'd prefer to talk in the famous high street bookshop which refuses to our mistakes and that is what makes "White Light/White about Barney Platts-Mills' films as a whole when I stock Oz, Private Eye or FELIX. Or make 15p per copy Heat" so important. review 'Bronco Bullfrog' in February (or thereabouts). by selling it yourself.

"Galactic Zoo Dossier" — Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come—Polydor FORGET-ME-NOT LANE album is built as a sort of Brown is back! Arthur sible to work with. The inevitable, of course, the "Our whole lives are an extrapolation of our infancy" has had a lot of trouble current group has been to- percussion keyboard style concept, all the songs run- observes Frank in Peter Nicholls' semi-autobiographical over the last three years gether for nearly a year of Mike Harris being parti- ning into one another, and nostalgic, time-leaping play 'Forget-Me-Not-Lane' getting a group together, now and with this album cularly like that of Vincent represents possibly a (Apollo Theatre). This statement just about sums up the play's message—the child is the father of the man, with the various ex-mem- under their belts look like Crane. journey through space, or an acid trip. Or perhaps no generation is really much different from its prede- bers of his groups, among staying that way. The al- Bnt don't think that this the demented ravings of a cessor. Frank is the author-figure, and the bulk of the them members of such il- bum should come as a group is a copy, The Act man regarded by many as play is a series of flashbacks into his past as he stands (featuring among other aside and comments on the action. We see him tolerat- lustrious ensembles as delight to those who liked being completely insane. Atomic Rooster and Emer- the God of Hellfire back in things Arthur being cruci- ing his affably tyrannical father ("Don't drink, don't Insane? Perhaps, but smoke and don't put propositions at the end of sen- son Lake and Palmer com- 1968. Similarities with the field) and most of the Brown's must be the in- tences") attempting to court his girl, and doing his bit plaining that he was impos- original Crazy World are songs have changed. The sanity of a Rasputin rather in War-time concerts. He grows up and gradually moves than that of a Don Quixote. away from his friends, his parents and, to avoid repeat- The lyrics don't detract ing his father's matrimonial mistake, eventually his wife, from the reputation a bit; all the time wryly regretting lost love and opportunity. an3 aircraft ftrnctttn- they're frequently hysteri- All of which would be rather dour were it not for cal, occasionally poignant Nicholl's superb comic talent. The play free-wheels in -pvTVb. fuel. uu"e±toa and out of it's six-door set, jumping backwards and System,..^... and often hilarious, parti- forwards in time, laced with wild humour and gently cularly "Brains" and funny 'Joe Egg' type soliloquoy. Anton Rodgers plays "Night of the Pigs'. While the chatty Frank with an easy charm, even advising occasionally good music the audience on the location of the Theatre bars; while is sacrificed to make way Michel Bates plays his Dad with just the right tension. for "weird", gimmicky Typical of the play's humour is Frank's explanation to noises and effects, the the audience "For those of you smoking hash and wearing beads and your grandmother's curtains, us songs are in the main ex- doing our bit was not the same as you doing your cellently constructed and thing". It really is a very god play, though judging from the instrumental contribu- the number in the audience it may not run for much tion by the group as a longer. whole is not just a backing On the other hand 'Showboat' (Adelphi Theate) will ItwaK a Trice for Brown. Listen for probably run for years. This revival of the classic Say — ^Mt SiesT-loam AWhATiajs, Ambrose's, XV&» slivrrt-nfl, vrtreak enemy, a~g#x\ -

IX* fMoorgate '

Lunch was a totally disorganised affair, with practic- ally anyone being able to get in just as well, otherwise half of the people involved would have starved. None of the 'invisible men' who did most of the collecting had received lunch tickets. The time, 9 o'clock on a dismal Saturday morning; changing foreign currency into sterling. Attention was Victoria Embankment was the most exhilarating part the place, Guild's Union office, this was the start of soon diverted from this when the amplifier was turned of the day, coming out at just the right time. Since it is C and G's, nay IC's contribution to this year's Lord on on the C and G float. With this blasting out large a dual carriageway Bo found no difficulty at all in find- Mayor's Show. amounts of noise vaguely resembling pop music almost ing us and various U-turns found her right behind us. nothing else could be heard—especially City who had Again an apologetic Mr. Jowitt found himself listening SIDE SHOW only a rather feeble public address system. C and G, to the police! At the start it looked like we were about to experience with a theme of 'Students Today—Engineers Tomorrow', a monumental disaster as the rain gradually set in. Glum actually had about six of its female members on the OPEN AIR SHOW faces told all that needed to be known but everyone float, giving the misleading impression that this is the After the show someone had the great idea of taking soon cheered up as the enjoyable pastime of waking actual ratio of male to female in the college. Little did everyone back to South Kensington on the float. So we up the Union officials was discovered. Jowitt was par- the crowds know that this is about the total actually in found ourselves sailing down Oxford Street with the ticularly troublesome and two phone-calls had to be the place! music full on and generally distracting the shoppers. made just to make sure he was still awake. By the time About this time concern was expressed that the pub- This was about as much fun as the actual parade with this had finished more distractions were made avail- lic might not know who we were, as a 'Boomalaka' quite a bit of money being collected from passing cars able by the steady increase in outlandishly dressed was thought necessary, and so at 11.20 there was the and pedestrians. An experience not to be missed is people. However, the event of all this was the attempt first of many, assisted by the amplifying system. Some- public reaction to a 'Boomalaka' outside Selfridges! to give away lunch tickets. Originally the Vice-President one pointed out that all the lamp-posts had the C and G All in all this is a great tradition worth perpetuating if tried to do this by calling names out but complications coat of arms printed on them. Well, it's quite true, they only for the fun public and students alike get from it. set in as he explained that the groups that people's (Many thanks to Brian Darling, John McCullough, names were called in indicated the float that they were :|j|f Rob Armitage and a happy chain of coincidences which on. This might have been alright if the name of the led to this article). float had been mentioned at the same time but predict- . . RE mm ably nothing so obvious occurred.

WHAT ABOUT THE WORKERS? The first thing we noticed at the start was the large number of multi-coloured floats crowded into the side News in Brief street. Floats about Banks, Insurance, were at the front MISPRINT—AN APOLOGY congratulated on his re- covering subjects from 'the spirit and adventure which Readers may have been cent windfall of £36,000, characterize the insurance business (??) to Banks, a puzzled by an article en- not to mention the Nobel titled "IN THE MUCK Prize for physics. FELIX HEAP" in the last FELIX. is glad to refer readers to They may have wondered a previous issue of I.C. '- ' 'Sill, ! who or what dogs would News for the full write-up. be encouraged to "de- GUYANA, NOT GHANA face". Of course, this was BWANA a printing error, and should We apologise for impli- have read "defecate". The cating Carl Seaford in meaning of the piece recent allegations about a would also have been Ghana passport. The coun- clearer had the title not try concerned, as Carl was been changed from "IN anxious to stress, is in fact THE SHIT" by a nameless Guyana. Anyway, its still did, but unfortunately most people think of these as the intermediary between au- City of London's. With the show about to start it was not British! thor and reader. OPENING TIME suddenly realised that the Vice-President, responsible Lunchtime O'Boobs. for organising (?) everything, had not turned up and Regardless of promises some interesting comments were made! However, he A GOOD BANK TO HAVE to the contrary, Southside was eventually vindicated when found to be organising BEHIND YOU Shop is extremely tardy in the collection. This raises another point as to how Further to last week's opening. You should not C and G happened to be the only College licensed to mention about bank rely on purchasing break- collect for charity during the show. charges, you may be lucky fast provisions if you in- At last, the actual journey had started. Most of the enough to receive a letter tend to get to a 9.30 lec- service to the people'. In the former was a representa- ture. tion of the 'Golden Hind' with a number of people pavement along the whole official path was packed ten similar to that Midland sent dressed in Elizabethan costume C and G students, were deep, which is an incredible number of people. to one of our scouts, which Lunchtime O'Breakfast. the 'Bank managers' and people at work and play' in read "we do not propose CONGRATULATIONS the latter. The Metropolitan Water Board float had their SOME HIGHLIGHTS to charge your account... Tony Kirkham, last own pop group. Sundry unusual electric cars followed The Lord Mayor on being pressed to contribute to in view of your family's year's deputy president, this with the theme of clean students dressed in white the Rag Charities, said 'I'm sorry but I've no loose connection with the Bank has finally got his MSc. All and blue costumes were driving them and generally change'. Bo, of course, had to make an attempt to catch for many years." We hope the bodies on Felix would making the point. Surprisingly enough they too were up with the C and G float. However, after a few yards at to bring a comparative like to send their heartiest from C and G and by that time I was beginning to won- 30 mph the police stepped in (?!!) and some caution- look at bank charges in congratulations to Tony der if there was anyone else there! However this illu- ary words spoken into the driver's ear robbed CrimSoc the next issue. and all those involved in sion didn't last long as the next float happened to be of yet another member. Attempts by City to dampen the IMPERIAL NOBELLED bringing about this 8th City University who had produced a large cash register spirits of C and G with a couple of water pistols, failed Dennis Gabor, Emeritus wonder—we didn't fink it to symbolise the part played by the City of London in miserably. Professor at I.C., is to be were possible. ill! km

The FELIX Late News Supplement V

FELICITATIONS ill Just for a change, this week the Prologue toll appear a'* the end. (See credits). On with the News of the Present, Future and Past......

I have just returned from South Ken Tube sta" ton,: having observed, rather wore than-a thousand, or maybe two, £11 e their wa; in an unbelievably orderly fas- hion onto 5 tube trains,) bound for Russell Square for the &<*mo. Our roving reporter at Russell Square says (14.45) that I.C* is particularly noticeable for the lack of banners and women, the former of which Icoraplet-j with van) has failed to turn up. He estimates several thousand there, and a good lot of activity - apparently Trent Poly has a BRASS BAND. Quot* of the demo from an IC student "I'iu glad I came - there's so many women! J*' "University Challenge" (see article in FELIX) comes off (probably lor good after we've taken parti J) an December 7th (though when it's being shown is not said). I was told that the team was going through rigorous tsaining, i.e. watching the prog every Sunday, and because of this will probably he in Bedlam by the time. Informed sources say that the teams strongest point is Renaissance Architecture, and their weakest is a craVing for lustful things which they are banned from (i.e. sleep and work).

Yet«another Union Council Meeting was held-on'Monday evening. They must- have read the comments in FELICITY two issues back, as this meeting actually suc- ceeded in ending before closing time.....by 2 minutes!!!!! Here's what hap- pened j — 1) The new Discipline Document, laying down what should be done with you when you're all naughty little students ami commit atrocities against the Rector, or other equally popular action*, which has now been agreed between the Union and the College, was discussed. It only lays down how to deal with offenders, but not any rules or regulations. These include summary punishments (i.e. on- the-spot), e.g. fines of up to £10, expulsions from various parts of the coll- . ege (or all of it - on second thoughts, no such luck), and botty—smackingj but there is the right of appeal in all cases to the Discipline Committee, in which case the punishments are suspended pending appeal (l should h«pe so tool) This is apparently quite a breakthrough, being the first document of its kind for years. 2) Thanks to the persistance of Dam i an Camming*, and no thanks to Martin C* Black, Esq., who suffered severe diarrhoea of the vocal organs during the mot- ion, the I.C.U. Community Action Group (somebody believes in individual vocal action) was formed. Thi? will be open to all members of U.S.K., and although the Chairman must come from l.C., the other positions can he filled from any- one in USK. 3) The method of electing delegates to the N.U.S. conferences was agreed. The delegates for the November conference will be elected during the summer terra, and those for the April conference in January. There will be no ex-offieio members, but for the April conference there should be 2 "novices", including one fresher. All delegates will have an equal say in haw the votes are cast, whether an observer or delegate, and votes will be split accordingly, 4) Council gave Rag £|300 (loam!!) to underwrite the cost of printing the rag mags - all 30,000 of them.11 And it is reported that they will have to soil 12,000 copies to break even! I Someone must he going soft...,at those prices, that means that it must be being printed in full colour, or in' black and white by one of Britains finest printers, and also that there can he no advertising - and if either of those is true, it shouldn't be. £50 was also given (anot- her loan) to West London College for their bit of the proceedings, as apparent- ly 'they haven't any money ?!?!?! Let's hope that we see the money hack again. THE LATEST ON JUAM'A*—POSTS, w>ip-Po»«» B.»gft, .. word from the I.C. Gas So c is that it is suspected that tiu; »"."„-._.-. K. «,o. -/.ill' ;» attempt to dig up the lampposts in Prince Consort Road during the Ninas vac, when there will be no students around to fill in the holes again as fast o.« they dig them up. Readers wishing to join this fine society and perform *ost« Charitable work over the vac, see the Chief Gasser, c/o 421 Tissard. HOPING FOB A BLACKER OUTLOOK We've heard that Ents are 'now £1.00 inthe red - but this situation is expected to change rapidly (and perhaps for the better'??). The main factor of this loss is that'made on the Curved Air concert. It's to be hoped that the concerts hooked for next term will be more profitable: before someone caught up with them, as you may know, Ents booked a major group for every Saturday for about the first half of next term for concertsin the Greet Hall, cancelling hops on the way. These contracts will be honoured, but Saturday-night entertainment will revert to hops in the Union d|n the series has been completed. (By the way, the plans include two concejjfapjn Rag week.)

Epicurean readers will mourn to hear that we have been banned from using the Royal College of Music refectory between 1230 and 1400; Dave Amos' suggestion of 'reciprocal retaliation' was turned down by I.C.U. Council on Monday - who could no doubt not bear the thought of ROM students being unable to commit suicide courtesy of the Victor Mooney Emporium (never knowingly under-cockroa- ched). Whilst still on the subject of "food", the rumour that the college refectories are to jump on the mooney-making business of pizza palaces with their own ex- clusive variety, "Mucho Cockriochi", has been strongly denied by the perpetrator fo the rumour. I.C.W.A. this week apparently invited Union General Committee members (mainly male ????) for 'sherry' in their highly exclusive salon prior to partaking of dinner in hall chez Mooney. The motive for this novel happening is not reve- aled, but, using a bit of feminine intuition Don't forget the Emergency General Meeting (yes, another one) today (Thursday) TO WHICH YOU OUGHT TO GO i 11 i 11 i (See details of Summary Punishments in Council Report above - so NOW you know what they're fori)

SEEN IN HI-FI NjlhW: "For Sale: ^ugden Class A (Z?~ Ed) Amplifiers (Meccano magazine design; and 2 electrostatic (Cornish ?) wafer speakers'.' Offers, I suppose, to Linstead 832, after 3 a.m. and only when "Do Not Disturb" notice is on the door (i.e. walk right in). credits plus ' y This masterpiece of the duplicator's art, otherwise known as the 18th Nov 1971 issue, of FELICITY, was edited and produced by Oily Dowson, with Dave Gribble who helped turn the handle and agreed to commit suicide in order to get the news up to date. Please note: as this is only the third time he has been dug up this term, we expect to see him around shortly (the ground being rather hard in the cold weather). (We'll cremate him next time). No thanks to your very own (whose, for God's sake???) John Sebastian Stares, who attem- pted to cut these credits, when they're about the best part of the whole of FELIX and FELCITY put together (just because he doesn't usually get a ment.) Please also note that these credits (there's that word again) are also the editorial and the total serious news content of FELICITY (there's THAT word again). We felt, after all, that you needed some serious news after all that comic rubbish on the FELIX cover page's. Still published by the Editor on behalf of Imperial College Publications Board, who by now must disclaim any responsibility for any contents contained (or not) herein, as does the Editor, who was going through a particularly *i?&£*j!!$*ing time when he let this slip unnoticed under his eagle (glass) eye. All Rights Reserved GOp, Unreserved 50p at door, 18th November 1971 B.C.