Al Gore appointed new The new sports strip - Are RAG and the Uni-Link boss AU protecting their members? wessex 1st December 2006 Priceless News SCENE Death, fire, God and Surge- all the university local and national news Politics Political fallout: Radiation in Russia, mid- terms in the US

Music The Edge takes a look at the best albums of 2006

Film Casino Royale pays out Season of goodwill with RAG, Stop Aids and STAR Ashleigh Toll red to Red Kinki at the Cube, or of Southampton STAR recently 17 November. A diary entry writ- by simply pausing to think of the spending a week raising aware- ten on the night by STAR Presi- Kat Slowe 40 million people worldwide liv- ness for the cause of destitute dent Chris Hearle said: “While Southampton University Stop ing with HIV/AIDS. asylum seekers living on the sleeping rough I felt like a living AIDS Society, a small group of Money raised from the bal- streets in the UK. The group re- ghost - ignored and without a members who actively campaign loon sponsorship will go to the jected home comforts to sleep voice. All I could do was watch for global access to AIDS treat- Student Partnership Worldwide on the floors of willing friends, from ground level at everyone ment, will be raising awareness who co-ordinate the national and were allowed to carry a bag walking above me who seemed of the disease by releasing 1000 Student Stop AIDS Campaign, filled with clothing necessities so superior.” red balloons on 1 December to and more locally, the Ribbons only. They also had to give up The total money raised mark World AIDS Day. Stop AIDS Centre: a drop-in centre in their mobile phones, and were throughout the week was is encouraging students to get Southampton for the 300 peo- not allowed to pay for their own £564, which will be given to involved with the campaign on ple living with HIV in the area. food or transport. the Southampton and Winches- Highfield Campus, by sponsor- Student campaign groups The week culminated with ter Visitors Group to fund ‘fes- ing a balloon in the balloon race, have had a regular presence on group members enduring a cold tive boxes’, containing essential signing an action card, wearing campus of late, with members night outside the Cube on Friday ... continues page 2

www.bamuk.com Student Media Buyers www.wessexscene.co.uk 0845 1300 667 Local News

Page 2 ... from page 1 items such as food parcels and sleeping bags for destitute asy- Student house burns lum seekers. SWVG figures indicate that 75 destitute asylum seekers in Southampton were offered sup- port during the period of August Knocked-over lamp causes blaze that destroys home of four students 2004-2005, despite estimates Kylie Maclellan fore it was due to be raided by suggesting that up to 1,780 asy- police. The raid was part of a se- lum seekers are currently living Fire has devastated a student ries of searches being carried out in the South-East. house in Priory Road, St Denys. by Southampton’s Drug Investi- STAR also plans to present a The blaze, which was caused gation and Intelligence Team on petition comprising 150 student by a bedside lamp coming into homes suspected of being used signatures to local MP’s, to cam- contact with bedding after be- to cultivate the Class C drug paign for more support for asy- ing knocked over late the previ- cannabis. A preliminary search lum seekers. ous night, has left four students of the property found both can- Fundraising initiatives have homeless. nabis plants and the equipment not just been confined to cam- The fire started at about needed to grow the plants. Po- pus however. The RAG Society’s 7.45am on Thursday 9 Novem- lice are unable to begin their in- recent Jailbreak event required ber at a house that was home quiries, however, until a fire in- its participants get “as far away to four students, two studying vestigation has been carried out. from Southampton as possible” at Southampton University and The other raids, one on Brick- in 36 hours without paying for two at Solent University. One field Road and one on Northcote transport. Tom Fletcher and of them, Ian Turnbull, a sec- Road, were more successful. Six The fire destroyed the entire first floor of the house James Ignotus won the event by ond year Yacht Manufacturing people were arrested and police reaching Poland. So far this year, and Surveying student at Solent how he had to escape through not yet been given a date by seized more than £3000 worth RAG has raised £5,527.83. For University, described the fire his bedroom window after dis- which the house might be re- of cannabis. news on their naked AU Christ- as: “One of those things you covering the fire. The whole of stored, but it is likely to take a Meanwhile, Southampton mas calendar, see Wessex Sport think will never happen to you. the first floor of the house was long time, and all are currently University recently hosted a chip (page 28). It was a shock, it all happened destroyed, and the ground floor looking for alternative accom- pan fire demonstration at High- The commenedable efforts to so quickly, there was no time to suffered smoke and water dam- modation. field campus to alert students to raise much-needed funds and to think about it.” age. Three of the students are In an unrelated incident, the dangers of leaving an oil pan educate students will go a long Ian and two of his house- now living in university accom- fire swept through the upstairs unattended, as part of Govern- way in helping those less fortu- mates were at home at the time modation while the fourth is rooms of a house on Broadlands ment-led national ‘Fire Safety’ nate than ourselves. the fire started, and he described staying with friends. They have Road in Portswood minutes be- campaign. Death in Bevois Valley

Man run over by taxi just hours after contacting police claiming to have been assaulted Emma Lenanton then left him on his own. He then the very serious nature of the continued down Bevois Valley incident and the clear concerns A 41-year-old man has died af- Road and stopped to speak with of the community.” She also de- ter an accident involving a taxi two people for a number of min- clared that the IPCC will consid- in Portswood. The incident oc- utes. A short time later, Mr Bul- er the actions of the ambulance curred close to the popular stu- laleh continued along the road service personnel and police of- dent haunts, The Hobbit and where CCTV footage shows him ficers. She continued: “We have Jesters, on Bevois Valley Road in falling and lying down. Two cars a clear duty, in the public inter- the early hours of the morning swerved round him before a taxi est, to obtain the fullest possible of Sunday 12 November. ran him over at 3.45am. He was answers to all the questions that Ali Farah Bullaleh suffered se- pronounced dead at 4.31am af- are raised by this disturbing in- rious injuries after colliding with ter being rushed by ambulance cident.” a taxi and was taken immediate- to Southampton General Hospi- The IPCC is appealing for wit- ly to Southampton General Hos- tal. nesses to the series of incidents pital. Because the man had had Bevois Valley Road was closed that occurred between 2.30am contact with the police a few for ten hours following the acci- and 3.45am. They are looking hours before the accident, The dent so police could investigate. for anyone who saw Mr Bullaleh Independent Police Complaints The taxi driver has been charged with the police and ambulance Commission was informed. with death by dangerous driving crew and the two people that Mr Bullaleh had called the and is currently on bail for ten spoke to him shortly before he emergency services at 2.30am weeks. A breathalyser test was was hit by the taxi. They are also claiming he had been assaulted not positive. searching for information about and requesting ambulance and Rebecca Marsh, IPCC com- the drivers of the two vehicles police attendance. Police and missioner, states that the IPCC which were seen to swerve ambulance staff spoke with him have decided to investigate the around Mr Bullaleh as he lay in Mount Pleasant Road, but events of that night: “Due to Mr Bullaleh was talking with two men shortly before the accident prone in the roadway. Local News

www.wessexscene.co.uk TRYing to keep quiet

Rugby team do their bit for neighbourhood relations by marshalling streets near the Cube Paloma Kubiak take the punishment but did this far beyond the call of duty and The University Rugby Society did the Union a very good serv- adopted the role of ‘street mar- ice, have set a good example shals’ in the area surrounding and have helped the local com- the Students’ Union recently, af- munity.” ter being identified as the worst He warned however: “If the offenders in terms of noise and Cube closes down or has its disruption after a Friday night hours reduced this would mean out drinking. financial ruin for the Union. AU The SHHH! campaign saw 45 and societies budgets would be players take to the neighbour- slashed. All the money that you ing streets of University Road, spend goes straight back into Church Lane and Glen Eyre Road your union, so do your bit and to ask students to keep the noise keep quiet on the way home.” down as they walked home from Highfield Residents Asso- the Cube, following the banning ciation Chair, Jerry Gillen, also of two rugby players from the commended the ingenuity of Union for unruly activity. the scheme. The noise marshal scheme The Union is promoting the is the latest attempt to secure The rugby team are seen as one of the noisiest and rowdiest societies SHHH! scheme with t-shirts the future of the Students’ Un- branding Dr Karl Kennedy’s slo- ion’s late night license. Under disturbing local residents. Sever- Rugby Captain Ady Tomsa we can be quiet, then other stu- gan ‘Good Neighbours, Good the new Licensing Act 2003, al objections have been made in hoped that the team’s exem- dents can too.” Friends’. It is also appealing for the license can be reviewed and the past, and in the worst-case plary behaviour would influence SUSU President Ben Rogers volunteers, who will be supplied revoked if there is enough evi- scenario the Union could have others to act in the same way. praised the rugby team’s efforts with free t-shirts and referenc- dence to suggest that students to close down or stop serving He commented: “We are seen in his report to Union Council, es. Please contact Ben Rogers: are making too much noise and alcohol at 11.30pm. as the worst offenders and if saying: “The team decided to [email protected]. News in Surge to victory Brief Security Issues University radio station walks away with three national awards “A recent investigation shows Chris Dean see lots of nominations for our Students are not reporting Programming this year, because enough incidents to University Broadcasters from SURGE, it shows we’re taking the re- security. The Union urges you Southampton University’s radio sources we have, and producing to report all incidents, however station, are celebrating this week quality shows that people enjoy, small and even if they are off after picking up three gongs at which is ultimately the point of University property, to Secu- the Student Radio Awards in radio.” rity – [email protected] phone London. The awards ceremony, held 02380 592811. The University SURGE won the Gold award in Covent Garden on November has many services that can help in the “Best Entertainment” cat- 9, boasted a line-up of celebrity and support you and its vital egory for the Nick and Mogs hosts in the shape of Radio 1’s that students know they can use show, as well as two bronzes for Scott Mills and Jo Whiley. them.” “Best journalistic output” and This year marks SURGE’s 30th “Best live event/outside broad- birthday, and the station has big Editor to step down cast” for Surge Newsweek and plans to celebrate. Students are Election Night Live respectively. advised to watch out for these Gareth Hynes, the self-pro- The station was also nominated over the coming months. claimed easy-on-the-eye Editor for the “Best specialist music The Nick and Mogs Show came first in the best entertainment In other awards news, the of the Wessex Scene, is stepping show” and “Best technical inno- Wessex Scene is proud to an- down as Editor so he can con- vation” awards. others. Scene: “I’m delighted that we’ve nounce that our website, www. centrate on bigger and better The big winners on the night More than 40 people affiliat- yet again proven we are one of wessexscene.co.uk, came third things, i.e. not editing the Wes- were the University of Notting- ed with SURGE made the trip to the UK’s leading student radio in the Best website category sex Scene. Our journalists tried ham, who took home the cov- London to support and celebrate stations. In the past Surge has at the Guardian Student Me- to reach him for comment - As eted Student Station of the Year the success of the station. picked up lots of nominations dia Awards. The site had been he stalked off into the sunset, and Female Presenter of the Alex Duffy, SURGE sta- for its technical and behind-the- nominated for the fifth year in our reporter heard him murmur Year prizes amongst a string of tion manager, told the Wessex scenes side, but it was good to a row. “F*****g journalists.” National News

Page 4 Better results for less work

Very different amounts of contact hours for the same grades at different universities Katie McCann The report also highlights that a growing number of stu- Undergraduates at different dents feel they are no longer universities are being awarded getting value for money since first class degrees for varying the introduction of Top Up Fees. amounts of work, researchers at Currently 16% of UK students the Higher Education Policy In- think their courses are poor or stitute Survey have found. very poor, and worryingly this They studied responses from figure rises to 30% among over- a web-based survey of 15,000 seas students, who are expected first and second year students, to pay a much-needed £10,000 and found marked differences per year. in the number of hours students Wes Streeting, the Vice Presi- at different institutions studied. dent of the National Union of In subjects such as history the Students, stated: “Fees now hours students studied ranged charged by universities have no wildly from 17 hours per week bearing on the amount of con- to over 35 hours per week de- tact time with staff or on the fa- pending on the university. The value of some degrees has been called into question following the publication of these findings cilities provided.” The problem is further high- than students at Cambridge, Concerns have been raised by mond Bone, the President of English universities should be lighted by the fact that over who, for the same class of de- the researchers about the mean- UniversitiesUK, said: “There is wary of putting off overseas stu- 60% of students of Physical Sci- gree, work for a substantial 45 ing of a degree from an English no national curriculum in high- dents; the revelation that less US ences at Plymouth University re- hours per week; although it is university as a degree can be er education, and so different students are applying to British ceive a 2:1 or first class degree possible their eight-week term obtained with such very differ- courses at different institutions universities this year suggests working a mere 20 hours per may be a contributory factor to ent levels of effort. involve different use of facilities, this new research finding should week. This is substantially less this figure. In response to this, Drum- contact hours and so on.” be taken seriously. Facebook fury Threat to classroom cohesion as staff abused on students’ favourite social networking site Pete Bryant about the power offered to stu- dents through the publishing The rise of websites such as Fa- of their opinions: “For me the cebook and MySpace has led problem would be that indi- to a new form of online harass- vidual communications may not ment as lecturers are targeted be representative of the mass of by their students. It seems that students’ experience,” he says. what is a much-loved form of “Are there controls on Face- student procrastination has a book to prevent someone with darker side. a grudge giving prominence to In a particularly severe case, one, possibly quite unique, view one staff member at Oxford Uni- of a course, lecturer or universi- versity discovered that a spoof ty?” He also added: “But I would profile of him had been set up, trust my students to recognise which untruthfully claimed he rubbish when they saw it.” had been a member of the Hitler Although a lot of comments Youth. are made in good humour, it It takes only a few seconds seems more and more are be- to post on Facebook, and this coming intentionally hurtful and simplicity means many students malicious. Facebook is designed to allow students to create networks of friends, but a darker side has appeared do not consider the implications Facebook membership has of what they are writing. Gossip and fear of what is being said, by students. Personal comments need to go through the proper grown rapidly since the web- can spread quickly, and remarks while others are avoiding the made by students are taking channels, rather than posting on site’s launch in February 2004. that are often made in passing site altogether. It is feared that their attention away from their a website,” says Sally Hunt, joint Over 7.5m students in the UK are suddenly laid down perma- Facebook could affect the qual- job and putting tutors under general secretary of the Univer- are now signed up, and it is es- nently for all to see. ity of teaching at universities as pressure to make a good impres- sity and College Union. timated that 90% of students Some tutors are now signing tutors become uncomfortable sion. “If students have real con- Dr John McGavin of South- from participating universities up to the service out of curiosity about how they are perceived cerns about their lecturers, they ampton University is concerned are members. National News

www.wessexscene.co.uk CU in court!

Legal action as Student Unions ban Christian groups for being non-inclusive, intolerant Christopher Dean have been problems since last Christian Union has elicited no year where the Christian Un- response. Four Christian Unions across the ion in Edinburgh was banned Southampton University is country are set to sue univer- from placing copies of the Bible also home to the Southamp- sity authorities after they were in Halls of Residence following ton Christian Movement, which banned from official lists of so- complaints from other students. paints itself as a liberal and toler- cieties and had the associated The Edinburgh CU is also ac- ant Christian society. Their web- privileges withdrawn. The CU’s cused of teaching a sex and re- site outlines their mission state- are charged with failing to pro- lationships course that promotes ment: “We aim to bring togeth- vide equal opportunities by ex- homophobia. er students of all backgrounds, cluding non-Christians and pro- At Exeter, the CU has changed religious and non religious, to moting homophobia. its name to the Evangelical Chris- explore the Christian faith in an The dispute arose as Christian tian Union. open-minded and non-judge- groups refused to allow non- The groups themselves be- mental environment. Christians to address their meet- lieve that they are being singled “Our diversity is a gift to be ings or sit on ruling committees, out as a “soft target,” and that celebrated. We recognise the or to make themselves more in- their religious beliefs are being importance of respect for and clusive to homosexual or trans- driven underground, contrary to openness to other faiths. Think- gender students. The societies at the principle of free speech. ing through and questioning our Birmingham, Edinburgh, Exeter Pod Bhogal, head of com- faith ensures that it remains alive and Herlot-Watt universities will munications at a national um- Edinburgh, Herlot-Watt, Exeter and Birmingham CU’s are banned and dynamic.” no longer receive funding from brella group for Christian Un- At the time of going to press, their student unions, or be able ions, claimed: “The politically thing you disagree with.” He Southampton University has the universities concerned are to use union facilities. correct agenda is being used to added that Christian students had no such problems with its all taking or considering taking The student unions say the shut people up under the guise faced an “unprecedented” Christian Union; however, re- legal advice. Further develop- Christian groups are discrimina- of tolerance when, in fact, you struggle. His group represents quests by the Wessex Scene to ments will be tracked by this tory and non-inclusive. There tolerate anything other than the over 20,000 people. the Southampton University newspaper. Race relations failure

University staff still disadvantaged in workplace, and foreign students aren’t mingling Sabah Kitabi of foreign students surveyed ac- knowledged British people as Higher Education institutions those they socialised with most have not done enough to ensure often. The report discovered ethnic minority staff are given that these students were more equal opportunities, the Univer- likely to mix with others from sity and College Union has said. the same country or other over- The Union claims that univer- seas countries, although it was sities are failing to implement also found that “respondents good employment practice, or tended to agree that the UK was to protect ethnic minority staff a welcoming and tolerant soci- from being disadvantaged in ety.” It has been recommended the workplace. It also states that that colleges arrange trips and there are not enough checks to social events to encourage for- make sure procedures are being eign students to ‘mingle’ with conducted fairly. their British counterparts. The remarks came after a The government recently re- review of the Race Relations leased a guidance document to Amendment Act, which was in- Only 27% of overseas students chose Britons as those they socialised with most often attempt to tackle “Islamic ex- troduced in 2002. A conference tremism” in universities. Inter- met recently to debate ways in be exploring ways of working A spokesperson from the new members of staff, outlines national students may be using which the current situation could with employers to improve their University of Southampton said: our values as an organisation their study visas as a means of be improved. practises, reminding them that if “The University works hard to and underpins our approach to gaining entry to the UK. Profes- Roger Kline, head of equality they get this right there are ben- ensure that its members of staff equality and diversity.” sor Anthony Glees believes that and employment rights at UCU, efits for everyone. Transparency from ethnic minorities are not The findings come at the they should be “vetted” so as said: “This conference will equip in appointments and promotions disadvantaged in the workplace. same time as a poll conducted to ensure they are not exploit- UCU branches to kick-start would show that procedures are Our diversity charter, which by the Council for International- ing that privilege and bringing some improvement. We shall genuinely fair.” is distributed to existing and Eeducation found that only 27% extremism onto campus. Comment

Page 6 Editorial Team Laters... Argh! Or, why the Editor-in-Chief Phil Webb [email protected] Americans are The paper’s Editor says goodbye, also good riddance just wrong... Editor Gareth Hynes [email protected] So, I, lil’ ol’ Gareth Hynes, have has a half-way competent Edi- Proofing each issue throws up two hundred words to say good- tor, for the introduction of the some interesting things. News Chris Dean bye. Two hundred. That’s quite WS2 Section, which will contain Firstly, and actually lastly too, news Ashleigh Toll a lot. Especially given the title of Arts, Fashion, Science and Poli- the number of people who put @wessexscene.co.uk this, my last ever ‘editorial’, pret- tics along with a re-introduced down Mr. and Dr. for Mr and Dr is ty much sums up what I want to Debate page, and good inter- quite incredible. So, using this as Politics Jack Haines say in one sweet word. and it’s views with important people. an excuse to lay into the Ameri- [email protected] So well then. Perhaps I “ Plus there’s plans for a Travel cans as a way of hiding my be- should start by explaining why goodbye minisection at t’back... grudging admiration for them and Science vacant I’m stepping down. Boringly Er, real thanks to all the sec- their “world’s only super-power” [email protected] enough, I guess to concentrate from me; tion editors who’ve made my country (much like the French on my degree: final year gets a life so much easier (so that’s attitude to the English), this Mr. Arts vacant bit intense at times. And the pa- good none of you - joke!). Love you malarky piece of nonsense is an [email protected] per really needs someone who all, some would say a little American invention that’s some- can devote to it the time that it riddance too much. And, nauseatingly how infiltrated its way into our Fashion Lorna Longworth so deserves. enough, thanks to family and pure, virginal, mother-tongue (if [email protected] But of course this doesn’t from friends too, especially: DH, CH, you can have a virginal mother, mean that I haven’t enjoyed my SHx2, PH, HH, KS, JS, HE & GP. without Divine Intervention). The Features Mike Anderson year-and-a-half as Editor. Hon- everyone Few lines left. So, er, what’s period is there to denote missing features Enjoli Liston estly, I’ve totally loathed it. Or been my greatest achievement? letters at the end of a word (think @wessexscene.co.uk loved it, or something. No, it’s else Probably successfully exorcising cont.). Where, in Mister and Doc- been just great. that accursed Societies Section. tor, are the missing letters? I’ll tell Sport Simon Webb And the plans for the future (Let’s see how long that lasts...) you: in the middle, not at the end. [email protected] look great too. Look out next OK! Phew! Made it. The end Having a period at the end doesn’t issue, when the paper finally ” is in sight. So, here goes: Late- make sense. Bl**dy Americans. We need...

The Wessex Scene needs: CU banning Everything They should be open to debate, but we must respect their beliefs and Nothing Christopher Dean In terms of allowing non- Christianity covers a wide range Christians to address CU meet- of opinions, from those of the Email the editor to get involved. Religion has become a hot topic ings, or to sit on ruling com- evangelical persuasion to those in the current climate of Islamic mittees, the answer is less clear. whose faith is just as strong but extremism and the evangelical Nevertheless, it would seem is expressed in a more moder- Wessex Scene Christian right in America, and that Christian groups would ate manner. With this in mind, Highfield unfortunately it seems that a be wise, if they are not to be it does indeed seem appropri- Southampton fractious atmosphere has devel- forced, to open their doors to ate for Christian Unions that SO17 1BJ oped between religious peoples those who do not necessar- adopt an approach that is less and their secular counterparts ily share their beliefs. As the inclusive to non-Christians and The Wessex Scene is avail- that has widened the divide and Southampton Christian Move- people homosexuals to rename them- able in other formats. Email: exacerbated the problem. ment puts it: “Thinking through “ selves as ‘evangelical’, as in the [email protected] The latest example of the re- and questioning our faith en- might have case of the CU at Exeter, so ligion-secularism split has come sures that it remains alive and as to make clear what sort of Advertising queries: in the shape of several student dynamic.” People might have less ill Christianity they advocate. James Howells Christian Unions being banned less ill-feeling towards Christi- Of course, student unions 023 8059 5486 by university authorities on the anity, or to religion in general, if feeling if cannot and should not be ex- [email protected] grounds that they are non-in- debate was encouraged and a pected to fund a plethora of clusive and homophobic. platform for all sides to discuss debate was Christian societies each with In this country we have free- their views in a responsible and slightly differing views from the dom of speech, where people adult manner was established encouraged next; rather, it seems fair to give can say what they want as long – this would lead to a greater Christian students the choice of as it does no physical harm to degree of understanding on all joining either a ‘traditional’ CU, anyone. Therefore, no matter sides. Opening themselves to or a more moderate group, like how strongly we may disagree this could actually work in fa- they have at Southampton with with the practices or views of vour of Christian groups rather the SCM. a particular group, we must than diluting their ideals. At the crux of the matter is concede their right to act in this There is also the problem communication. With this im- way, for the greater good of a that CU’s are often not rep- proved, there would be less fric- free society. resentative of all Christians. ” tion and increased tolerance. Science

www.wessexscene.co.uk Editor’s Column Cool technology can’t stand the heat

Tanya Howes ment falling into the lake below which is where the ECS come in. movement. This data can then the glacier. The sensors are palm-sized pods be used to establish the rate of This issue continues the investi- Insights into the behaviour of The glacier is monitored us- placed under the ice to mea- flow of the glacier. The various gation into global warming. key glaciers have been found by ing advanced wireless sensors, sure temperature, pressure and sensors can communicate to Research into environmental the Glacsweb team. decide whether readings have sensors by the ECS could soon Glacsweb is a joint project be- been significantly different. be used around the world to pro- tween the ECS and the School Professor Jane Hart of the vide us with information about of Geography which has been University’s Geography Depart- how the world is changing. We monitoring how a glacier in ment believes that the break up can then find out how fast these Norway is responding to climate of this glacier could help us to changes are happening and how change. Research on the Briks- predict what could happen to soon we need to panic. dalsbreen glacier has recently other glaciers. She says it “has To ease your minds a little, been brought to a halt, due to particular relevance to the outlet the NOC has recently discovered the fact the glacier has melted glaciers of Greenland” because that the news that the atlantic too rapidly. It is now too steep the discharge “affects the cli- conveyor belt is slowing down and dangerous for the team to mate of North-West Europe.” was actually a false alarm. The work on and they must move Global warming has been noted change detected was a natural their research to another glacier. as one reason for this rapid melt- slowdown in a system prone to The glacier has been retreat- ing. Future plans include im- changes. It has also been found ing at an average of 100 me- proving the technology behind that it would require decades of tres per year over the last three the sensors to provide a “mul- research to see slowing caused years. However the past five tiple hop, self-organising ad-hoc by global warming. So we can months have been particularly network.” relax for a little while at least. warm and the ice has retreated With global warming an ever- by 50 metres in this period. This increasing threat, technology science even resulted in the Glacsweb such as this will prove vital in our @wessexscene.co.uk team’s base station and equip- Briksdalsbreen glacier before it collapsed into the lake fight against climate change. Making an impact Science News

Steve Lamond accelerometers must be able to respond quickly because the ve- A team at Southampton Univer- hicle rapidly decelerates after a Skills Crisis sity has recently embarked on a crash and must activate the air Professor Shadbolt of the ECS research project to help enhance bags as fast as possible. Most re- has warned of a computer in- crash safety devices in cars. search has focused on producing dustry skills crisis. Demand for Dr Michael Craft and his ECS the devices themselves. Dr Kraft IT and computer graduates is team are collaborating with Bel- and his team hope to take this rising while applications for gian microelectronics company one step further and improve the these subjects are declining. He Melexis on a three-year research interface chips using advanced believes that the UK could lose project into improving the con- electronics and control methods. its “pre-eminent position as a trol systems on accelerometers. The control chips could also be knowledge-based economy” if These devices are contained in used in other fields where highly the “geeky” image associated cars and help regulate when accurate sensors are important, with the industry is not coun- airbags are deployed by sens- such as GPS, seismology and vir- tered soon. ing changes in acceleration. The tual reality systems. Potential Asthma Drug A peptide has been found which could be used to treat asthma. Preliminary studies show the peptide suppresses the inflam- matory proteins that cause al- lergic asthma. The peptide ef- fectively mimics natural mecha- nisms in the body that already dampen the effects of these proteins. The peptide is now be- ing developed by the university spin-out company Synairgen. Politics

Page 8 Editor’s Column Shorthand Politics A planet’s worth of news in just four columns - does it get any better?

In the Sadr City area of Bagh- A French judge has issued war- dad, a mainly Shia area, a wave rants on nine aides to Rwandan Welcome to the Politics Sec- of bomb and mortar attacks has President Paul Kagame. The tion, Hampshire’s finest political left hundreds dead or wounded. aides are accused on conspiracy news source. This comes on the heels of the to shoot down a plane carrying As well as the usual collection death sentence given to Saddam a former President of Rwanda of favourites such as Shorthand Hussein by an Iraqi court earlier which in turn led to the genocide Politics and Red vs Blue, the this month. of Tutsi and moderate Hutus in interactive article that you the 1994. Mr Kagame, however, has reader control, there will be yet Also in Iraq a junior Health Min- accused France of having strong more rambling fromyour favou- ister Ammar al-Saffar was kid- links with those who organised rite Politics Editor on the Ameri- napped from his home by gun- the genocide. It was the seizure can Midterms. men. Witnesses report that some of power by Mr Kagame’s RPF This issue also sees a real of the men were wearing police which stopped the genocide. treat for all you politics junkies uniforms at the time. out there: Alan Whitehead, the Pierre Gemayel a Lebanese poli- MP for Southampton Test, has Iran has offered to allow the UN tician has been murdered. Mr agreed to write an article on the access to its nuclear records and Gemayel is the fifth anti-Syrian energy crisis facing Britain. We equipments. The International politician to be murdered in Leb- at the Wessex Scene would like Atomic Energy Agency argues anon in two years. to thank Alan for his time and to that this move will help clear hope that there will be a favour- suspicions about Iran’s growing In London a former KGB Colo- BA planes operating a London- The Bush administration has able response from the readers. nuclear capabilities. However, nel Alexander Litvinenko has Moscow route. Mr Litvinko fled signed a billion dollar free trade To get involved email: the IAEA has refused to help Iran died after being poisoned with to the United Kingdom in 2000 agreement with Columbia. This construct a heavy water nuclear the radioactive substance po- complaining of persecution due will be the first test of the Dem- politics reactor, which Iran claims will be lonium-210. Traces of radia- to his criticism of Vladimir Putin, ocrat controlled Congress who @wessexscene.co.uk used for peaceful purposes. tion have been found aboard President of Russia. have yet to approve the bill. Red vs Blue Where Politics goes to die!

culture was one in which strikes What do you think? of unemployment? Or maybe were rife.The economy was crip- her social policies which resulted pled. International influence and As I stomp round my lair I find in the slow death of Social Ser- unions had replaced democratic my thoughts increasingly dis- vices, winter crises in the NHS government and caused chaos. tracted. Out of nowhere an issue and the growth of youth home- Reversing this decline seemed so relevent and controvertial lessness? Regressive taxation, impossible, but Thatcher was as to shadow all others has de- the Poll Tax, Victorian values in able to radically transform the cended on my mind, and that a party of sleaze, the doubling situation and restore Britain’s question is: of crime rates? Does this make pride. you feel like celebrating? Unlike the politicians of to- With plans in the air to hon- Well if the statue is not about Peter Williams day, she carried out policies our Maggie Thatcher with a Pete Lamb celebrating achievement then because she believed in them. statue in the Houses of Parlia- what about reinforcing public Without doubt, a statue of Lady She got to the heart of issues ment how would you defend or What is in a statue? Bronze, memory? Already the policies Thatcher should be placed in the that had long-term disastrous oppose this measure? copper, iron? Inanimate materi- of Thatcher’s Britain are being Houses of Parliament, alongside implications for the country als without meaning or signifi- brought in from the cold, dusted sculptures of Clement Atlee, and dealt with them. In a world Yet I find myself unable to cance. So why is it that a statue off, and dressed up in the clothes Winston Churchill and Lloyd where mishandling of policy on answer this question. I have only is important? It is the meaning of Cameron’s new ‘compassion- George. Like these men, the Iron the environment and nuclear just returned from organising a we assign them which is what ate Conservatism’. People are Lady was one of the greatest, weapons would be catastrophic, coup against a powerful govern- really matters when looking at beginning to forget and repress most iconic and influential Prime we would all feel a lot safer if ment and even I must rest. (PS these works of artists, designed their memories of the policies of Ministers in history. politicians had to routinely walk Hilary, don’t worry. I got your to celebrate achievement and to Thatcherite Britain despite the ri- Like Churchill, Thatcher in- past a statue of a great prime cheque.) reinforce public memory. ots they caused at the time. We herited a country that was under minister who had the boldness, So what achievements are cannot allow the nation to be severe threat. In less than half a conviction and mastery of doing So it is up to you dear readers, we celebrating Thatcher for? put through that again, I say let century, Britain had gone from what was really necessary and which party has the better argu- Perhaps her economic policies her have her statue, and let Brit- the largest empire in the world to who would never compromise ment. Send your votes to: which destroyed a third of Brit- ain never ever forget her crimes the ‘sick man of Europe’. British on that path. [email protected] ish industry and set record levels against the British people. Politics

www.wessexscene.co.uk The Banshee screams in West Virginia

The US Midterms and the problems now facing the Republican and Democrat parties Jack Haines was contested on are vastly the very individual identity that dam Hussein did not influence by many as rather optimistic. damaging for the Republicans. many states have and highlights the electorate to any great de- For the Democrats the prob- On Monday 6 November the po- The Midterms were a chance the fact that in many states the gree, in many cases the Republi- lem is that having spent so much litical power in the United States for both parties to gauge public key to victory were right wing cans and Democrats agreed with time and energy winning back was Republican. The party con- support, in effect a dry run for Democrats such as Jim Webb. each other. The real contest was the Senate and Congress they trolled Congress, the Senate and the Presidential election in two Webb is a former Republican about national issues rather than may lack unity once in a posi- the Presidency. Just 24 hours years’ time. Secondly it was seen Secretary of the Navy under local or foreign, or in other words tion of power, certainly there later President Bush was being in many corners as a vote on the Ronald Reagan whose victory more about President Bush than will be a struggle between the declared a lame duck President way in which the War on Terror in the West Virginia Senate race any other factor. left and right wings for control by global news sources. The US is being carried out. In both cas- gave control to the Democrats. At the same time as the of the party. What remains to be Midterms had stuck an almighty es it is the Democrats who have Not only is Mr Webb a former growth in right wing Democrats seen is how serious the struggle body-blow to the Bush adminis- carried the day. In fact through- Republican but he retains a right there has been a rise in the num- becomes. For the Republicans tration and had gifted the Sen- out the campaign Bush was seen wing stance and supports the ber of minority politicians being there is a very different problem. ate and Congress to the Demo- as so disliked that hard-pressed War on Terror. What is different elected such as Keith Ellison, the Bush has been comprehensibly crats for the first time in over a Republicans asked if he would is that Webb and the right wing first Muslim Senator, or Hank rejected by the voters but he is decade. avoid their constituencies and Democrats believe that the Bush Johnson of Georgia, a Buddhist. still, as President, the Republi- The election was closely con- states altogether. administration has carried out This with the re-election of more can’s biggest asset. The problem tested but the results themselves Despite the victory for the policy such as Iraq and Afghani- famous liberal politicians such as is how to rebuild the party for were stark for the Republicans. Democrats it would be wrong stan badly. It is not that they are Hilary Clinton or Barrack Obama the election in two years’ time, The elections saw the Republi- to say that there has been a ma- in favour of withdrawal but rath- has given the party a sharp di- in the face of a crippling defeat, cans lose six senate seats, thirty jor swing left in American poli- er a more streamlined approach. vide. In fact some Republicans while all the while trying to fend congressional seats and six gov- tics; the truth is more complex. In short it is not a case of Re- are arguing that if they can hold off attacks from the resurgent ernorships. A mark of the deci- South Dakota rejected an initia- publican Hawks and Democrat their party together for two years Democrats looking forward to sive nature of the election was tive which would ban all abor- Doves, the Democrats simply the Democrats may self-destruct using their newfound power. that not one Democrat incum- tion in almost all circumstance. believe they are better Hawks before the Presidential election, If this election seemed vicious bent lost to a Republican. However, seven states banned than the Republicans. This is and that a strong Republican the big one in two years’ time Losing the contest was bad any recognition of same sex one reason why the sensational leader could gain an unexpected will blow it away. You ain’t seen enough but the issues the fight marriage. This, though, shows trial verdict in the case of Sad- victory, though this view is seen nothing yet. Nuclear cuckoo in the renewable nest?

Alan Whitehead MP for Southampton Test considers the Engergy problems facing Britian

Alan Whitehead MP the cheques, what does that the price will fluctuate. The only of energy out of the nest. leave for other forms of invest- other way to guarantee a price The commitment in the en- The Energy Review has given ment? Might a new nuclear pro- for nuclear electricity would be ergy review to herald a huge in- the go-ahead to new nuclear gramme mean that aspirations simply to fix the energy market vestment programme in renew- build. Or has it? on renewable energy and en- and give nuclear energy a spe- ables and distributed generation What the Energy Review has ergy efficiency acknowledged to cial price within it. is a vital and welcome commit- done is to signal that the Govern- be equally important fall by the A fixed energy market would, ment, but it seems incompatible ment thinks, on balance, nuclear wayside? in itself, depress investment with the devices that will almost has a part to play in the energy It is clear that there will be in other forms of energy. And certainly be necessary to entice mix over the next forty years. no large Government cheque it would get worse, since an investment in nuclear. We could The basic case put forward in the up-front for new nuclear build. agreed primary part of future indeed, unless the conundrum is review is that, all things consid- The Review is explicit that “It energy policy has to be energy solved, end up with little or no in- ered, investment in renewables is for the private sector to initi- efficiency - that is, ensuring that vestment in renewables over the and energy efficiency, important ate, fund, construct and operate energy producers sell less energy next few years, and inadequate though they will be will not be new nuclear plants and cover would be unlikely to materialise to customers. Other forms of investment in the nuclear plant enough to make up shortfalls in the full cost of decommission- unless some further guarantees energy can cope with such a de- that is supposed to make up the long term supply arising from ing.” There has, however, been were achieved about the price velopment; variability perhaps long term gap. Under these cir- the closure and retirement of nothing to stop the nuclear in- of electricity sold during the life becomes a virtue. But nuclear cumstances, the fall-back safe power stations (mainly existing dustry from doing just that for of the plant. That would seem to cannot switch off or even seri- investment, guaranteed to keep nuclear and coal) over the next the last twenty years, and not a be difficult to achieve: the pre- ously vary its output, it simply the lights on, albeit at a carbon twenty years; nuclear has to be single new plant has been built ferred mechanism of benefiting has to produce and sell. Any se- cost would of course be gas, the ‘in the mix’. in the UK. The difference might low carbon energy through a riously successful programme of very fuel that our supposed like- Even if you agree with that be made, it is suggested, by price for carbon depends on the energy efficiency in the context ly dependence on if nothing is judgement, the question that re- simplifying the planning and li- successful operation of the next of building a fleet of new nucle- done justified the energy review mains unanswered is how does censing procedures to enable a phase of the European Carbon ar with guaranteed output price in the first place. new nuclear actually get built shorter time between concep- Trading System (EUETS). But by would disadvantage renewable For more information about and who foots the bill? And tion and operation, but many definition, carbon trading cannot investment further: the nuclear Alan Whitehead go to www. then, depending on who signs voices suggest that investment fix a price: trading means that cuckoo would crowd other forms alan-whitehead.org.uk. Arts

Page 10 Editor’s Alice in Column Booshland

Gareth Hynes is a Southampton holds south’s first digital arts festival shiny boy Hello and welcome to this issue’s Arts Section! Kat Slowe Alice in Wonderland, The May- flower Theatre, 7-12 November This issue we look at the the Twonotten is the first digital arts Twonnotten Digital Arts Festi- festival in the south of England. To get straight to the point, the Eng- val currently showing in South- It showcases local, national, and lish National Ballet’s Alice in Won- ampton. This is the first digital international artists who work derland was good, I mean it was re- arts festival in the south, and with digital technology. ally good. But, right from the start, it that it was shown in Southamp- Running from 20 October to seemed that something wasn’t quite ton, as opposed to elsewhere in 15 December, it is an exciting right. In fact, it was quite wrong. the south, effectively displays glimpse at how contemporary I think that it was as the massive that Southampton’s arts scene artists can utilise recent tech- pocket-watch descended from the is thriving. nologies to create revolutionary rafters that I worked out what was With the new arts complex examples of visual art and per- going on. “Hey!” thought I. “That discussed in last month’s issue formance. Features of the show looks like the Moon from TV show due to be built in the next few include video, installation, print, The Mighty Boosh.” After this it was years, Southampon is quickly virtual sculpture, interactive, il- irresistibly obvious: good though this becoming a competitor on a lustration, animation, electronic surreal adventure was, it was just national level in regards to its audio and computer-based mu- a blatant rip-off of the Boosh. The local arts culture. Digital art is sic. This is an exciting combina- Hookah-smoking caterpillar; the an exciting new area of display tion of modern science and the frog-smoking Shaman. The animals and will hopefully bring greater traditional arts. in the wild; the animals in the zoo. attention to the attractions that Based in the Bargate in the Whether it’s Lewis Carroll, Tchai- Southampton has to offer. centre of town (see picture, left), kovsky or the ENB, I don’t know (and it also hosts displays at Apart- frankly don’t care). But this much is arts ment 26, The Orange Rooms certain: someone here’s been watch- @wessexscene.co.uk and the Rhino Club. ing too much Boosh. I’m clean! What’s On

The Story of Cinderella (below) This Will Not Happen Without You Coope Boys and Simpson The Nuffield, 30 Nov-13 Jan, £8.50-15 The Hansard, 24 Nov - 27 Jan, free The Turner Sims, 8pm 14 Dec, £8-15 The classic tale. It’s Christmas and the International artists in an innovative Delightful cappella singing that wel- Prince is inviting everyone to a spec- display of experimental practice. comes Christmas with a selection of tacular ball, but Cinderella is forced to lesser-known traditional carols. With stay home to do the housework. some beautiful unaccompanied harmo- A Snapshot of British Art in the Sixties nies this is ‘the essence of the season’. City Art Gallery, 15 Sept - 31 Dec, free Philharmonic Christmas Concert A Snapshot view of the diversity of art The Turner Sims, 7.30pm 16 Dec in this exciting time period. Programme of Christmas music.

Not New, Went On The Millais, 24 Nov-27 Jan, free Layered, painted newspaper sheets cre- Deep Water Aladdin Harbour Lights, 15 -21 Dec £3 Theatre Royal, 7 Dec -7 Jan, £10-17 Based on the true story of a yachtsman. A traditional Arabian tale. A young man A poignant meditation on ambition. falls in love with a princess and seeks

copyright Mark Karasickcopyright Brick White Christmas Students’ Union, 10pm 12 Dec, £10 The Mayflower, 16 - 18 Nov, £10-35 Youth crime explored in a film that dares A heart-warming new musical adaption to combine teen and film noir genres.

Note: listings are neither comprehensive nor infallible. Please ring ahead! (Remember to ask for your student discount.) The Nuffield Theatre: 023 8067 1771; The Mayflower Theatre: 023 8071 1811; The Theatre Royal Winchester: 019 6284 0440; The John Hansard Gallery: 023 8059 2158; The Millais Gallery: 023 8031 9916; The Turner Sims Concert Hall: 023 8059 5151; The Phoenix Cinema: 08707650763.; Harbour Lights Picture House: 0870 755 1237. Merry Christmas!!! Arts

www.wessexscene.co.uk The Mayflower Theatre

The Mayflower Theatre, a jewel in Southampton’s entertainment crown Competition Natasha Harding tion suites. Facilities are also pro- vided for people who are blind, The Mayflower Theatre has deaf or disabled. The Mayflower Theatre are of- been a feature of Southampton Fortunately for students the fering two tickets to see White for the past 75 years. In contrast opportunity to enjoy quality en- Christmas on the 16 January at to the days of its early existence tertainment does not mean that 7.30pm. the theatre is now a hugely suc- it is an unaffordable evening White Christmas, based on cessful attraction that displays a out. The Mayflower Theatre has the 1954 film, features former wide range of shows, offers and many exclusive offers and dis- Neighbours star Craig McLach- added extras. counts, and in selected perform- lan, who takes one of the lead The Mayflower Theatre is a ances, you can sit in the best roles, and the Olivier Award- chance to experience the glitz of seats and pay less than half the winner Tim Flavin. The perform- London entertainment, with the full price on production of your ance includes such hits as Happy convenience of being on your full-time Student Card. Holidays and Blue Skies. door step. Situated in Commer- Over the festive period The For a chance to win these cial Road, near the Civic Centre, Mayflower are introducing the tickets just answer the question: The Mayflower Theatre brings first ever stage production of One of the lead singers in White dazzling West End musicals to White Christmas. In the New Christmas used to be in the Southampton as well as operas Year there is a fabulous line up of hit soap Neighbours. In which and children’s shows. The May- not-to-be-missed shows includ- country is Neighbours set? flower Theatre has gone through ing Fame, Chicago, Swan Lake If you know the answer and several stages of renovation and on Ice and the Welsh National would like a chance to see this rejuvenation and now boasts Opera’s Madam Butterfly. spectacular production, please fantastic options such as the For more information or to email it with contact details and luxury of a pre-show dinner and book tickets then just visit: www. a smiley face to arts@wessex- the availability of private func- the-mayflower.com. The Mayflower Theatre’s White Christmas production scene.co.uk. :-) Orpheus Despite some initial doubts about the idea, a fresh spin on an old story intrigues Fran Kotze Orpheus, The Nuffield Theatre, Do not mistake this for a sappy not fit my impression of the la- 21-25 November romance though; Orpheus is a dies’ man of legend. But there subtle but powerful mix of the is a great charm in his naivety, There is always going to be a ancient and the modern that and you’ll find yourself, if be- certain amount of trepidation doesn’t let the ball drop in its grudgingly so, cheering for him when viewing what is literally a over-an-hour performance time. by the end. Roanna Cochrane, classic story. One too many mur- The stage setting, though some- is an admirable Eurydice, but the dered performances of Greek what simple, inspires a surreal love between her and Orpheus plays allowed for little excite- beauty that one might associate is lacking in chemistry. Special ment as I entered the intimate with the land of the dead. The mention of Michael Magnet, theatre, which is probably why music score blends guitar solos whose excellent take on his vari- Dinos Aristidou’s adaptation of with more traditional Greek mu- ous outlandish characters will the mythical tale had such an sic in a captivating composition leave you grinning. Watch out impact. perfectly suited to its setting. for his Hades, it’s like something Directed by Russ Tunney, Or- The four actors, three of from a Tarantino film. pheus is the original Greek love whom play an array of differ- To those unfamiliar with the story, detailing the journey of ent characters, put a modern Greek story, the surreal setting the aforementioned hero/rock- spin on mythical personas that, and constant character change star as he descends into the if not always totally convincing, may make the play a little dif- Underworld in search of his are fascinating to watch. Where ficult to follow, but really you wife Eurydice, taken away from else can you see a classy if bitter should just take pleasure in the him by lord of the underworld socialite as the wife of Hades, very energetic performance of Hades. Throughout his journey or a gruff English tramp as the the actors as they leap and clam- he confronts numerous dan- gatekeeper of hell, played by ber around the stage only a few gers and challenges, freakish Helen McFarlane and Michael feet away. old fates, a three-headed dog Magnet respectively? Initially It is uplifting to see that, after as well as the big god himself Daniel McLennan’s Orpheus two thousand years, one can still as he comes to realise what his didn’t really deliver: his unsure, put an intriguingly fresh spin on A subtle and powerful Greek drama shown at The Nuffield love for Eurydice really means. slightly annoying disposition did an old story. Fashion

Page 12 Editor’s Column Best foot forward Antonia Peuleve ever-versatile flat pixie boot, still out. Lace-up detail is making a Tights and leggings look great a hot favourite around campus, come back as well as military under any pair of boots and As the chilly British winter draws and just perfect for a morning style big buckles and straps. Pat- when it turns re- in the Southampton rain damp- trip to a leccy pulled over a pair ent is still ever-present if you ally chilly then ens our tempers, and since no of jeans or woolly tights. Office think you can pull it off. thick socks or leg- Welcome back to the Fashion one wants to step in a puddle have got a vast and fantastic Although not strictly ‘in fash- warmers turned page of the Wessex Scene! with a ballet pump on, boots are range in at the moment from ion’ the Ugg is illustrating ad- over the tops of a necessity! short ankle boots (from £25), to mirable longevity on British soil. ankle boots were Christmas is drawing close and, Boots this year are big, buck- knee high (from £30), to slouch The Aussie’s certainly did us a definitely a key as ever, so does party season! led and round-toed; and with pixies (from £64.99). Over-the- favour by introducing them to look at London So whether you are having a such a variety to choose from, knee boots are still available us two years ago; women all F a s h i o n few in your local on Christmas and Office down the road, girls on the high-street if you fancy over the country haven’t parted Week this Eve or living it up luxe on New how can you resist? something a little different. with them since. year. Year’s we have the best party First and foremost we have For a more dressed-up look For the genuine dress styles to leave you feeling the shooboot a la Mischa Barton. the high-heeled knee-length article, which In fact, boots of all shapes and fabulous and sparkly! Antonia These look very ‘now’ teamed or calf-length boot are still key really are the sizes and all fabrics and cuts are Peuleve explores the boots in with a mini-dress or a pair of this season, but choose a round best, made the real key to the shops and presents a guide skinnies. Office have got a great rather than a pointy toe to make from the looking hot to this season’s key footwear to suede pair in several colours for your feet look tiny: an added in the cold keep you warm and stylish how- £74.99, but for a cheaper option bonus. British win- ever uniquely you dress or com- (since the loan is probably run- Fatter heels rather than stilet- ter. And what fortable you want to be. ning a little thin by now), your better way to Don’t forget that Christmas overdraft could stretch to New warmest and most luxurious cheer you up sales usually go up the night Look’s versions in blue, black and sheepskin, then log onto www. for the long before Christmas Eve; if you’re grey at £30.00. Just avoid losing uggbootsrus.com and buy direct winter months a bargain queen and can bear your heel with these from Australia, or alternatively ahead than the stress and anarchy of shop- as I did, courtesy get on the phone to a distant a brand new ping last minute then bear this in af a Jester’s relative down-under and get and totally mind. Happy Shopping! drain. them to ship a pair or two over fabulous pair Send articles, or pictures to: N e x t even cheaper. And for a cosier of boots? t h e tos look effortlessly classy and feel just pull on a pair of knee- fashion give you that much needed bal- high thick socks over your jeans @wessexscene.co.uk ance on an alcohol fuelled night to wear beneath your Uggs. Tis the season to get gorgeous

Lorna Longworth

With Christmas comes the long-sleeved amazing social life as you attend knee-length the classic lit- myriad parties and dress (choose tle black nights out, fran- underwear dress tically trying to carefully!) spread Christmas Sequins will cheer and sea- be a big hit.... sonal tidings to all around you, and lead- empire- ing up to the line bold metallics massive party that print, A- and bows is New Year’s Eve. line skirt are mas- Highly versatile, And, of course, with floaty sive on dresses can be every true fashioni- material... the high glammed up and sta will want to look street, wear dressed down, good so here we’ve with foot- accessorised, and presented lucky old less tights mixed and you with this season’s patent and smoky matched to create key dresses, to suit all shoes eyes... different, stun- shapes and styles: ning effects. WSX www.wessexscene.co.uk Editors’ Column A Convenient Truth Al Gore appointed as new head of uni-link

Welcome back avid readers!

No longer must you loiter near the empty metal stacks that once held the last issue of your beloved Wessex Scene, circling them in anticipation of your next installment of this, our humble (but brilliant if we do say our- selves) Features Section. For voila, here we are back again, serving you up a delicious con- coction of literary genius.

We have details of a break- through scientific study that the News Section scandalously over- looked, which shows that soppy sappiness could actually give you superhuman powers. If this is true (which it undoubtedly is), emo kids should be achieving world domination at any mo- ment. Gore has the vision to drive Southampton University bus services forward

And speaking of world domi- Phil Webb on Wednesday, 29 November. in February. Uni-link is the name given to nation, have you ever contem- In taking on this moniker, his A notable and particularly vo- the bus services run for the Uni- plated it? Perhaps not yet, but A surprise announcement from first action was to order the Uni- cal critic of the University’s John versity of Southampton, they after reading the inspiring Pimp the depths of the University link office, based next to the Waugh in Iraq policy, his outspo- have 21 buses with 10 million my role model, you may find it boardroom heralds the appoint- Travel Centre and Shine hair- ken nature is sure to bring envi- passenger journeys since serv- hard to resist. This issue seems ment of 57-year-old former dressers, to be refurnished with ronment and ethics on buses a ices began running in 2001. to have an apocalyptic theme, United States Vice-President Al particular focus on rounding the high profile. He was said to be Among a number of prophesised as another reporter brings you Gore as the new Transport Man- edges to create an oval office. In enraged by the private jet deba- changes under the new regime, a world domination conspiracy ager of Uni-link. turn all the external walls have cle as reported in the last issue of reverting back to old style ‘On theory, in the form of Nicho- Gore, Vice-President of the been whitewashed. As the news the Wessex Scene (20 Novem- the buses’ situation comedy dra- las Cage. Here at the Wessex United States in the Clinton ad- was delivered, the Wessex Scene ber) and is keen to personally re- ma, Gore’s wife Tipper will make Scene, we’re all about the hard- ministration, was elected to Uni- spoke to the Students’ Un- dress the carbon footprint left by regular appearances as a hapless hitting facts. link after the retirement of John ion President Ben Rogers, who not just Southampton University conductor. Waugh, who had served his questioned: “Really? Former US but most of the Northern Hemi- Each year, Uni-link buses cov- And to top it all off, we bring maximum eight years, in office. Vice-President Al Gore?” sphere. er 530,000 miles and consume you the gritty truth about Christ- As the unsuccessful Democrat This surprise move is some- On taking the job Al Gore 83,000 gallons of fuel. Although mas and its not-so-holy origins. candidate in 2000, he is known thing of a change of career for stated he was planning to facili- increased public transport has its Inspired. to have suffered in previous bal- the avid environmentalist, hav- tate better Anglo-American rela- environmental benefits, plans lots; there was similar controver- ing spent that last few years tionships particularly in his work are in place for two new ini- If you think you’re made of sy with the Southampton elec- lecturing on climate change and with regard to travel, noting the tiatives to cut fuel consumption the kind of stuff that can report toral college this time: a dispute promoting his infotainment cin- last major voyage from South- – Uni-link plan to run some jour- this kind of stuff, we’re always in Chamberlain Halls as voters ematic effort An Inconvenient ampton to New York, the Titan- neys with no fuel, relying on the on the look out for the right kind were demanding “More bush”. Truth. Yet with the US Mid- ic, did not go down well. A new slight downhill gradient of the of stuff. In other words, writers. However, after the key campus- terms in the background to his service, the U571, will come into coastward leading roads into the So don’t be afraid, go on, send es of Avenue and Highfield were appointment, he has not ruled force in the New Year, which aq- town centre, and several people us your stuff. assured, victory was safe and ri- out a return to politics, saying: “I uaplanes the North Sea, stops at pushing round the back on the val candidate Andy Wilson could do not completely rule out some the environmentally protectable way up to University. The U54 Until next time, tattybye. only secure the NOC in the deep future interest, but I do not ex- Greenland before completing name originated from a driver’s south. Gore is looking to ride this pect to have that.” Expect Al the journey in Washington DC, suggestion after a break down features wave of success and control the Gore to be running among the this is scheduled to shuttle every “Oi, you fifty-four – get out and @wessexscene.co.uk University Senate which meets other clowns in SUSU elections 30 minutes. push.” Features

Page 14 Face on... Face/Off... Face on... Enjoli Liston disturbing ethical and moral im- the body and soul of Cage un- Imagine your beloved-dar- used the media as a way of try- plications, it also means that Ni- der John Travolta’s face (why ling-sweetie-pie of a girlfriend. ing to achieve world domination I am horrified to say that we fi- cholas Cage could be absolutely make the nightmare worse?), And then imagine discovering through mind control. But, due nally live in a world in which it anywhere. Under the guise of ‘scientists’ had to go and make that those smouldering doe-eyes to the hilariousness of his cur- is actually possible for the film dear old aunty Mildred, or that the horrific vision a reality. Al- of hers actually belong to Cage. rent face, he has yet to be suc- Face/Off to become reality. Yes, strange bearded neighbour who though the surgery may have Yes, to the pernickety among cessful. So if he is allowed to face-transplant surgery may likes to walk the streets in his made headlines a month ago, you I am aware that other sur- harness this new surgery (as all be beneficial to some, and the smoking jacket, and only his and other papers have moved gery may be needed for this spe- good sci-fi tells us he can), it is world may have heralded it as smoking jacket. on, the Wessex Scene is dedicat- cific example. But this reporter this reporter’s belief that with the a ‘scientific breakthrough’. But As if the film wasn’t mentally ed to opening its readers’ eyes wouldn’t put anything past this use of an influential and normal what people don’t seem to re- scarring enough by merely sug- to the menace which lurks in this cunning shape-shifter, and nei- face, the public will no longer be alise is that it doesn’t just have gesting the possibility of hiding seemingly valuable surgery. ther should you. Readers of the able to resist his hypnotic stare. female variety may be dabbling It is impossible to tell whose face with the idea that it wouldn’t be he will attempt to steal, but I am so bad to find their other half almost certain he will choose a was actually a Hollywood movie highly impotent political figure, star. But they have made three such as Bono from U2 or even… grave mistakes in their percep- Sir Bob Geldof. tion of him: Hollywood, movie, I could end with a moral ‘nev- star. er-judge-a-book-by-its-cover’ It is bone-chilling to think conclusion, and just adapt it to that this chameleon can draw a ‘never-trust-a-face-when-it- the film-going public into his could-be-Nicholas-Cage-un- tree-nest of lies. In extreme der-there’ sentiment. Howev- cases, some even thought that er, I won’t do it. I will instead The Family Man was an ‘OK’ leave you with a question as to film, but I am happy to say that whether science is really as pro- these poor shells of human be- gressive as it makes out to be. ings were soon hospitalised, cor- Add this so-called ‘advance’ of rected, and can now form valid face-transplanting to the already opinions again. Just like other petrifying notion of cloning, and infamous genii (Stewie Griffin you must wonder whether sci- being the only other that comes ence is actually helping to create to mind right now, but there are monsters. Monsters, such as Ni- The face of that illusive shape-shifter Nicholas Cage - oh the horror more I assure you), Cage has cholas Cage. Sappiness induces super powers? Luke Catterson with Androgen Insensitivity Syn- at all, I just don’t know why this sarily make you less sentimen- aforementioned youths suggest- drome) or too much androgen pub got a reputation as a place tal: some of the hairiest people ed using slushables as sights on A fascinating new study has re- (females with Congenital Ad- where people come to get emo- I know weep when they see an sniper rifles. This proposal was vealed that our sentimentality renal Hyperplasia) there can be tional. What must have hap- elderly couple holding hands. dismissed instantly by General has some bearing on our range physical and psychological ef- pened is that they somehow put There are sadly no real prac- Jones who said: “It would make of vision. Scientists based at fects. It is likely that both male a sign up on the wall in infrared tical uses for this. One of the the guns too heavy.” Southampton University have and female ‘slushability’ is a re- light so that they know where to been working closely with re- sult of a variation in this process gather.” While this is pure spec- searchers from Eugene Oregon and Smith believes this is also ulation on the part of Mr Rem- and are very excited at the the cause of the differences in ple we do not have the facts at conclusions they have reached. vision. “Though we don’t know hand to disprove his theory. Scientist Mark Smith said: “We exactly why this occurs it is likely There have of course been don’t quite know why this is to be linked with the function of knock-on effects as insecure the case but it seems that really the androgen receptors.” youths try to assert their mas- slushy people are able to detect This has of course raised culinity by saying things like: light of longer wavelengths and some questions, but at the same “Look at all that ultra-violet as a result they are able to see time potentially answered them. over there.” This is a fallacy as infrared light.” Publican Nathan Remple runs neither ‘slushables’ nor ‘men’ The neurobiology of the mas- an established bar and has of- can see ultra-violet light. When culinisation of the brain is fairly ten wondered why he finds it I asked to youths of indetermi- well understood. Estradiol, and full of people looking at pictures nate age what they thought of testosterone, which is catalysed of puppies and crying. “It’s just these developments they re- by the enzyme aromatase into that I like football,” he com- plied: “Well I definitely can’t see dihydrotestosterone, act upon mented, ”and would rather infrared, it must be because I am androgen receptors in the brain people only cried after a major such a bloody bloke.” This is of to masculinise it. If there are cup exit. I don’t know why they course nonsense, an abundancy few androgen receptors (males congregate here. I don’t mind of testosterone does not neces- A five-year-old artist’s impression of a sappy superhero Features

www.wessexscene.co.uk As someone who watches MTV and the E! Network a lot, Nicholas Brown has come to understand that it’s not who you are on the inside, it’s who you want to be on the outside that counts. Don’t let your future be decided by careers or vocations, pick someone cool and act like them until you pretty much are them. We’re here to help you choose, this is: Pimp My Role Model

The Ring lieve in Scientology, but it helps. ways tomorrow night. Become a ringworm! Don’t If you’re pretty talented and throw your problems down the popular but really want every- Russell Brand well (no matter what Borat may one to know who you are, con- A very popular one at the mo- say), let them in through your TV! sider joining a strange religion, ment. The principal character- Watch videos, pass them on and fabricating a sham marriage to istics seem to be having a large then let your world melt around cover up your deep-rooted ho- black mess where your hair you. It’s mosexuality, and jumping on should be and speaking like like drugs couches. Sure, everyone will be Charles Dickens’s retarded half e x c e p t scared by you, but also mor- brother Squandsworth Dick- there’s a bidly fascinated. And you ens. A ball-ec- c h a n c e can get married in Italy. tomy may be y o u required to c o u l d fit you into die. Well your regu- estab- lation tight l i s h e d trousers. A exchange secure job is p r o g r a m a must to with Japa- cover the nese ringu- child main- worms. Pow- t e n a n c e ers of premo- costs in a nition not nec- few years’ essary but certain- time. Talk, dark, handsome, and insane - what an example to follow ly useful. BT landline required. You’ll Movie Trailers receive your Did you ever think... member- that life is a bit...dull? ship pack Need some unneces- w i t h i n . . . sary...tension? Wish seven (to you were coming soon? ten) days... In a cinema near you? In a world...where talk is cheap... Rincewind and cheap is free...you Always feel that despite be- could be the...one man...on ing severely under qualified, a mission...to save...some- you’re always picked out thing...from someone... for the horrendously dif- somewhere...and may- ficult and important jobs? be...just maybe...learn Is everyone who’s a higher a little something... rank than you an idiot? Do about...himself. From you find yourself running away ‘Your Mum’ and ‘Your from danger a lot? Then you Dad’ comes an experi- could consider Rincewind. Meet The Brain ence that will blow...you...away. strange people, see a lot of the No plans? What are you going “Life”. Starring you. And Jude countryside...flash by as you run to do tonight? How about doing Law. And Dame Judi Dench. away from them. Remember, it’s the same thing Brain does every not heights that you need to be night: try to conquer the world. afraid of, it’s the grounds that’ll It’s a hard life planning for world So there we have it, a few kill you. Luggage not a prob- domination, particularly when possibilities for you to mull over. lem. you’re completely surrounded This isn’t like joining a group on by idiocy. However, take solace Facebook. This is your life. So Tom Cruise in the fact that no matter how choose it. Choose life. Wham. You don’t have to be mad to be- many times you fail, there’s al- Now be gone. Wanna pimp his role model? Course you do Features

Page 16 All you ever needed to know about Christmas Jack Arnott Frank Capra directed the Christ- create a bizarre and nightmar- In a list stretching to some two- initiated a secret subliminal mes- mas masterpiece It’s a Wonderful ish mish-mash of tacky decora- hundred-and-twenty-six items, saging campaign which aimed The origins of the festival we Life. Originally a depression-era tions and bloated consumerism. Capra mapped out what would to fool a nation (America) into today call ‘xmas’ are often over- suicide piece, an opium-fuelled In this dreamlike vision, a fat become the modern version of believing Christmas had already looked in our consumer-driven frenzy one night led the legen- man with a white beard named Christmas. existed for hundreds of years. materialistic society. A youth in Thousands of adverts and pop 2006 is more likely to send a text songs (including the Biff Steven- message to his friend or wear a son and the Molly Sisters’ 1950 hooded top than delve into the smash The Go-around Bop) holiday’s fascinating history. included a message on repeat Aside from the presents and the which can be heard when the food and the religion lies an as- record is played at half speed. tonishing story. “Christmas has always existed, It all starts in the pre-war Bal- go and see It’s a Wonderful Life kans. In an effort to raise aware- to get a rough idea of what it’s ness of blacksmithery accidents, about” read by Orson Welles, it ‘Kris Tomas Day’ was set aside is clearly audible in many cases. to be celebrated annually at a The American government al- randomly selected time during lowed what they felt would be the year, by the Slovakian Gov- a morale boosting campaign af- ernment. Named after Kris To- ter the troubles of the Second mas who fell in his kiln in August World War. A resounding suc- 1917, the day was the highlight cess, within months the Ameri- of the year for the burgeoning can nation was convinced that Slovakian blacksmith commu- Christmas had been celebrated nity. for hundreds of years, while Despite years of complaints retailers recorded all time high by the SAKAGBAM (Slovaki- profits for December, and record ans Against Kiln and General numbers of returns for January. Blacksmithery Apparatus Mis- In the fifty years since, film use), which felt that the random classics such as The Santa Clause nature of the day lessened the starring Tim Allen and Home impact of the important safe- Alone with Macaulay Caulkin ty message, the day was only have been used to similar affect, changed to 25 December in and coupled with the introduc- 1922, after the random number tion of the new Christmas mes- generating system used to select sage being taught in schools, the day was stolen by Slovenian the festival has overtaken even terrorists. Shrove Tuesday in popular- In 1926, world champion uni- ity. The addition of Christmas cyclist Pablo Nerando spread the Eve and Boxing Day in 1976 to message of Kris Tomas day after heighten mince pie sales during losing his brother to a gangre- the famous mince pie recession nous horse-shoe burn. Adopted was another resounding success. by his native Peruvian Govern- The Pope’s decision to move the ment in the same year, the festi- celebration of Jesus’ birthday to val grew in popularity so quickly coincide with the period also fell that by the early 1930’s most seamlessly into the ever expand- of South America celebrated ing Christmas convention. Kris Tomas Day on 25 Decem- The Christmas we celebrate ber in some form, and the mes- today is no more traditional sage spread across the globe. By than other fake festivals such as 1940, an estimated two-thirds Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving, of the world had celebrated or but is nevertheless one of our had heard of Kris T’mas Day most cherished times of year. (now shortened to fit on cakes This year, take a moment to It’s a Wonderful Life - an irritatingly over-played film or a government conspiracy? and banners). The name was remember what’s really impor- changed to Christmas Day in dary director to rewrite the film Santa Claus would bring gar- Worried about the film’s re- tant about Christmas, not the 1942 as the letter K was consid- entirely, being told by “float- ishly wrapped presents in his ception among a conservative presents or food, but that clum- ered distasteful by many promi- ing crazy mushroom men who flying sleigh carried by magic post-war audience, MGM stu- sy Slovakian blacksmith who in nent members of the Catholic spoke in clouds” to take the ex- deer, while the house would be dios in co-operation with Wal- his death, made the world a bet- church. isting Christmas festival and add decorated with a single fir tree mart, who saw profit in the ter place. Merry Christmas one In 1946, visionary director ‘their’ own surreal touches to covered in shiny plastic objects. now greed-orientated festival, and all. www.wessexscene.co.uk Sport Page 18 Editor’s Netball a bunch of basketcases? Column Pivot and pass off - are perceptions of the Netball Club about to change? Nikki Laws This success is a result of a more so, than when celebrat- most of the girls are closest of competitive trials weekend and ing our Wednesday successes. friends, socialising out of sports It has been brought to our atten- around four hundred girls sign- This just proves that our love for hours. However this does not tion that the perception of the ing up at the annual bunfight. netball, and snakebite, is not the suggest a cliquey club, as most Mike Newell certainly seems to Southampton University Netball However, less that one in twenty only thing we have in common of the netball girls share houses have struck a raw nerve hasn’t Club within the Athletic Union is of the girls were given a place in as a club. A recent Ann Summers with rugby boys, football boys, he? Personally I was quite sur- somewhat, on occasions, derog- one of our four teams within the party was a favourite for all, as it swimmers etc. Our inter-club re- prised by his behaviour: any- atory. However, we want you to Club. Due to coaching, train- is for (stereo)typical girls; full of lations are a final point to high- thing a football manager says take three or four minutes while ing space limitations and the girly giggles and gossip. light the fact that we do not nowadays is seized upon by the reading this article to clear your high standards of match play, Almost half of the SUNC girls keep to ourselves, instead we media, so he was pretty foolish mind, and we’ll give you an in- selection is a tough process for travelled to Rimini with several are out socialising! to say it. As a hockey umpire side peak to what, and who, the both the committee and Fresh- Wessex sports team last Easter, Overall the Netball Club do myself I have never had any which we all thoroughly en- not feel that these categori- trouble with female officials and joyed. We were not a club to sations are only aimed at our share Becky’s view that if they keep to ourselves, preferring team. Most women teams are are good enough then it doesn’t rather to drink, dance and cause pigeon-holed derogatively at matter what gender they are. general mischief and debauch- this university in many differ- It’s great to see the Rugby ery with all the other Wessex ent ways. If an all-women team Club pick up their first win in clubs, pulling together to show aren’t ‘bitchy’, then they are some time. The committee have all other universities that yes, we probably ‘butch lesbians’ - from put a great deal of effort into are the best University. one extreme to another. All of progressing the club and it is re- The success and friendly at- these labels are grossly unfair markable to see how much the mosphere of the tour was fur- when the clubs are some of the Club has improved in just three ther proved by the fact that an- most successful clubs in Wessex; years. other twenty girls are travelling and we are proud of it. You may With the Ashes series tak- to Salou this year to relive the hear us before you see us on all ing place at the moment we are best six days of our university occasions, but why can’t we be sure to see a rise in the profile Are netballers ready to welcome you with open arms? lives. proud of the successful club we of Monty Panesar. It is a shame As well as being team mates, are? that there are so few Asian role girls of SUNC really are. ers (especially after the hard models in sports such as football, For many of you, netball has core Freshers’ Week this uni- but as David mentioned, it is fair an image from Year Six upwards versity is renowned for). This is to say there are a lot of British of including the best looking, heightened by the fact that the Asians in popular sports such as ‘ra-ra’ girls in the school/club/ majority of Club members have squash, hockey and cricket. We university and that they can be played to a county level, which also have seen many in boxing: quite bitchy. However SUNC is something that not many AU Amir Kahn and Nassem Hammed are further away from this im- clubs can boast. immediately spring to mind. age than you could even begin SUNC cannot be seen as a cli- As I mentioned a few issues to imagine. We believe this de- quey club, as we are out in force back BBC Sports Personality of scribed persona has only been every Wednesday either with the Year is fast approaching and heightened this year by our suc- another club or individually, al- the early favourites are Monty cess in the BUSA tables, with ways in high spirits. As well as Panesar and Darren Clarke, fin- each of our three teams being in going out to Jesters on Wednes- gers crossed my earlier predic- promotional positions at time of day nights, our non-drinking tion comes through for me and printing. socials are just as popular, if not Southampton netballers are storming their BUSA Leagues Clarke wins after his brilliant in- spired performance in the Ryder Cup. It’s good to see Jesters and the AU have resolved their is- other venues never could, many ates comparatively high drink gation twelve of the largest AU sues for now as there really are Mark Lanegan felt that the drinks prices and prices on Wednesday nights clubs were asked if they would few venues in Southampton The long-running dispute be- admission system needed to compared to Mondays, Fridays support the action and all were that can offer the AU the sort of tween the AU and Jesters ap- be changed to favour the clubs and Saturdays. willing to as a one off demon- night Jesters delivers. pears to have been resolved, at more and give some motivation Some clubs had sought alter- stration. The sports section is still look- least temporarily. to attend, other than the partial native venues with Reflex, Arch- The AU President, Issy Gross, ing for photographers and writ- As reported previously in the tolerance of nudity. ers Road and even the Dungeon and Jesters manager, Nick Green, ers so if any of you are interested Wessex Scene there had been The AU had hoped for a rise discussed by some committees. have agreed to maintain the cur- in writing for the Wessex Scene conflict between the two- or from £1 to £2 admission fee for There was also a discussion of a rent agreement. However, it is then please get in contact! ganisations as clubs felt taken clubs, with the proceeds split possible protest week where AU likely that future AU Clubs and advantage of by Jesters. While evenly between the AU and clubs would not attend Jesters Presidents may look to alterna- sport it is clear that Jesters caters for Jesters. The AU also hoped for in a demonstration of their an- tive venues unless the situation @wessexscene.co.uk the AU Clubs in a manner which cheaper drinks as Jesters oper- ger. In a Wessex Scene investi- changes. Sport

www.wessexscene.co.uk Sport in Penn shooting to the top Brief Simon Webb interviews one of the country’s most promising young umpires Becky Penn is a striker for the It was quite hard initially games I get the impression that short term I want to get my Lev- Ladies’ Hockey Club 1st XI, she learning to keep my mouth shut at the start the guys think they el 2 qualification by the end of is also a member of the elite when the umpire was wrong but can take me for a ride, that just this season. We don’t follow the umpiring group set up by Eng- I learnt pretty quickly! because I am a girl they can get same system for advancement AU Controversy land Hockey. Do you umpire in foreign coun- away with stuff they wouldn’t in qualification as other umpires, tries much? normally get away with. But so I could move up based on On Wednesday 15 November She is a member of the Na- within two or three minutes performances this season. there was some friction between tional Young Umpires Promis- England Hockey monitor our they get an understanding that Solent and Southampton Uni- ing List, a group of umpires performances and then select I am just as competent as a man If you could change one rule in versities. A shared bus journey from under-16 up to under-21 umpires to attend international can be. I have never even green- hockey what would it be and home from an away game saw who are given extra support by tournaments, we tend to umpire carded someone so there isn’t why? some pranks played by both England Hockey with a view to the junior international events. too much trouble! teams that were not received the members progressing to in- It would have to be directly as well as intended. There was ternational umpiring, as well as What sort of support do you Do you think there is much oth- linked to safety. The drag flick further conflict at Wide Lane as providing a strong base of um- get in terms of coaching? er sports can learn from Hockey on short corners is OK at top the football club directed some pires for the national leagues officiating? levels where it is done safely and distasteful verbal abuse at the operating in England. We get coaching at all tour- accurately but at the lower levels Solent netballers. All incidents naments and at selected games. Football definitely could! I it can result in bad injuries. There have been resolved. The coach will speak to us be- don’t understand their system has been the introduction of face How did you get into umpiring? fore the game, at half time and for managing time. It would be masks but I cannot see the lower after the game and give us a far more accurate to simply stop level players using these. Rugby Well it’s a bit odd, I tried to thorough assessment. They take time like we do, rather than esti- I also think that gum shields get qualified as a ‘Young Um- a great deal more notes down mate the time lost! and shin pads should be manda- The Men’s Rugby 1st XV en- pire’ aged 10 and failed the test! that a normal umpire coach Offside should be done away tory. joyed their first BUSA win in two But after a few years decided to would and then we are sent a with too. We used to have it in years, beating Plymouth Uni- have another go and passed. copy of the detailed assessment hockey and haven’t looked back Umpiring does not have the versity 54-12 at Wide Lane on by England Hockey. since abandoning it. They may greatest image in the world, any Wednesday 22 November. Have you found it hard to stay also benefit from adopting the ideas as how to change this? committed to umpiring? Have you had any same card system as hockey trouble umpiring or rugby. The introduc- I’d certainly agree that most Hockey Well obviously it is hard to men? tion of a sin bin might people think of old, overweight carry on playing, coaching, do clean up the game a men with poor mobility when Southampton University Men’s uni work and umpire. But I have In most bit. they think of umpires, but they Hockey 4th XI have enjoyed a had my parents couldn’t be further from the tremendous season so far and supporting me What are your truth! The real problem is that have racked up a 13-0 victory and I have man- aims for you um- most umpires pass their Level 1 and two 9-0 victories. The team aged so far! piring career? and are left to do a minimum of are hoping to continue their fine three games a season to main- form and push for promotion in Has umpiring It’s a cliche but tain the qualification. If they BUSA and Hampshire. made an the 2012 Olympic were more actively coached um- impact Games are a must. I pires would get a far healthier Susie Hunt lead Southampton o n would love to um- image. University Mixed XI to victory y o u r pire the Ol- The level of support given to over Southampton University game ympic Final! young umpires is also important. Medics’ Hockey Club in the fi- as a In the I was lucky as my family are very nal of Tournament in the South, play- supportive, but time, money and TITS. The University ran out 2-1 er? study can all affect an umpire’s winners. opportunity to develop.

If you have any interest in Saints Football umpiring hockey then visit the England Hockey website for Southampton Football Club has more information: recovered their season after a shakey start and are now aiming www.englandhockey. for a top six finish with a view co.uk. to contesting the play-off com- It certainly has! For one thing petition for a place back in the I know the rules well so can ex- Premiership. Failure to reach the ploit them in my favour. I also Premiership would result in fi- know what I can get away with nancial hardship the Club would and how to manufacture a foul. miss out on a new TV deal.

Sport

www.wessexscene.co.uk Will we ever see the Full Monty? POWER The Wessex Scene looks at why there are so few Asian football players David Gold ing in our leagues? Those who Simon Webb suggest football is racist should to the not look at the lack of British British Asians are being discrimi- Asians in our game, but more people nated against in English football. at those who suggest there are Or so some would have you be- too many foreigners, which is a lieve. There are in fact, just four more blatant and evident racial Maxx Power in the game today, and just one issue in the game. in the Premiership. Most British Asians are of After a slightly shaky start, the Does this equate to racism? Indian/Pakistani origin. The na- AU nights are now in full swing. Of course not. On the face of tional sport in these countries The weekly dose of ridiculous it, it doesn’t seem equal, but, is cricket. Most young British fancy dress, song-based inter- just how many British Asians are Asians are cricketers, rather than club banter and snakebite by there? According to the 2001 footballers. There are plenty of the bucket load has been as rel- census, 4% of the population. current and future British Asian ished by the Wessex faithful as So proportionally there should Cricketers, Monty Panesar and always. Freshers have taken to be 80 professional British Asian Nasser Hussain spring to mind. the festivities like ducks to water, footballers. This is compared to the four more clubs are getting involved But there are just four. It’s in football. Assuming racism that previously, and the Football easy and simple to shout that it’s exists, it should be equally ap- Club hasn’t even disgraced itself racism, but it is naïve to blame parent in football, cricket, golf, yet. That said, there is a sweep- it on this. It’s become popular whatever sport it is you may stake in place estimating when to shout racism, and one of the consider. It may be worth ven- SUFC will repeat the feat that key problems with modern soci- turing from the undeveloped they achieved last year of get- ety is the proliferation of blame racism argument to demonstrate ting banned from Jesters on AU on race when the real issues are the lack of British Asians in the nights. much simpler than this. English game, and suggest that If you’re not a Fresher, you If football is racist, why have these youngsters want to be the might notice that there are a lot we got so many foreigners play- next Monty Panesar, rather than more people wandering around campus in tracksuit bottoms and T-shirts than in previous years. British vs Foreign Premiership You might have assumed that Footballers 2000-01 the Jubilee Sport Centre has tak- en on a lot of extra staff, but this is not the case (as anyone who, like me, queued for 45 minutes to pay for their SportRec will testify). It is actually because this year is the first since the Univer- British sity sold the New College cam- Foreign pus. New College, or “Fun Col- lege” as it was often dubbed, is where students studying Sport Zesh Rehman looks to lead more Asians into the game Science, and some similar cours- follow in the footsteps of Zesh At its conception the premier es, were based. They are now Rehman. league was a predominately mixed in with the majority of the Rehman has had a somewhat white league with almost en- University at Highfield Campus. nomadic career, currently plying tirely British players. So, if you are approached by a British vs Foreign Premiership his trade at QPR he has admitted The league has evolved: year slightly pikey looking stranger, Footballers 2005-06 that the move may seem a step on year there are sharp increases don’t be alarmed; you’re prob- down from the relative celebrity in foreign players. In the 2000- ably being asked for directions, of Fulham, but feels he needs to 2001 season 36% of the league not your wallet. be on the field as a role model, players were foreign. Within In the last edition of the rather than in the stands picking four years that figure rose to Wessex Scene, the Sports Edi- up his wages as a reserve. nearly 50%. tor issued an apology for some It could be argued that the If this trend continues it can derogatory comments about the way forward in promoting Asian be only a matter of time before Solent University that turned football in England would be to we see a fairer representation of British out not to be exact truths. It’s field more nationalised players. the population in the league. Foreign not my place to comment on There are many immigrants in that matter, however, I will say this country who represent other What do you think? that what the apology should nations but could have qualified really have covered was how my as English under FIFA criteria. Do you think racism is still a column was omitted. Now that The England Women’s Team barrier to footballers in the UK? I’m back, hopefully my legions currently fields three players of fans will call off their revolt born outside of England who Email your views to against the Students’ Union. There has been a remarkable rise in foreign players in the UK hold English passports. [email protected]

Sport

www.wessexscene.co.uk Women: behind the stove or whistle? Mark Turner closed, we increasingly modify Becky Penn fore the World Cup started was back the inevitable time where our behaviour because we want tipped as a possible Final referee, women are treated as equals on Following Luton Town’s 3-2 it to be acceptable to women. Mike Newells’ comments re- can make a huge error like that, the sports field. Women may defeat by QPR, manager Mike We exercise restraint and calm. garding a decision made by of- then it somewhat excuses mis- be slower but that by no means Newell sat down with a group of We respect social etiquette. I ficial Amy Rayner following Lu- takes made, by both men and writes off female sport. Football, lawyers, sociologists and govern- have no hard evidence to back ton Towns defeat 3-2 to QPR women, at lower levels too. rugby and hockey, for example, ment diversity officers. Together this up, but I feel confident in shocked most people who are If a female is good enough to all look completely different de- they painstakingly crafted a re- saying that the country is more involved in sport regardless of officiate at a certain level then pending whether men or wom- sponse to a non-decision by a feminine than say 20 years ago. gender. Surprised possibly by why should her gender prevent en are playing. You just have to female referee’s assistant (lines- This may well be a good thing. the lack of the very British “po- her doing that? Having spoken work towards the physiological man). Foremost in their thinking I believe doctors when they say litical correctness”, possibly by to several males, the general strengths of each gender and was the need to articulate New- that the odd vegetable between the bluntness of his comments consensus was that they would progress tactical play acordingly. ell’s opinions in a sensitive and burgers will keep us alive longer. or possibly due to the controver- rather have a competent female But the rules remain the same. respectful manner. That men are allowed to use sy that was bound to occur as a official than an incompetent Arguments such as, “It’s a “She shouldn’t be here. I words longer than three syl- result of it. Can I point out at this male. Sports such as hockey man’s game” and “What do know that sounds sexist but I lables without being viewed as stage that I am no feminist who where the ball is hard and is lift- women know about football?” am sexist. This is not park foot- make most female officials ball, so what are women doing laugh. Come on, it’s the 21st here? We have a problem in this century! Since football began country with political correctness it has evolved hugely into the and bringing women into the game we see today. game is not the way to improve Even now there are huge de- refereeing and officialdom. It is bates going on about modern- absolutely beyond belief. When ising it further with cameras. do we reach a stage when all Surely we will let females referee officials are women because games before we let a cam- then we are in trouble? It is bad era take a major role! Further, enough with the incapable ref- some of the language heard and erees and linesmen we have but ‘fruity’ is also a step in the right marches round complaining at ed at high speeds, means there said at ladies’ games, is enough if you start bringing in women, direction. Maybe even people anything which may be slightly is danger involved; capable um- to prove that female officials you have big problems.” who believe in sub-divisions of gender-biased or taking an ex- pires are vital for safety alone. are unlikely to be running off Commenting on the mix- tea and coffee have a point. treme viewpoint on any criticism Women know what they are the pitch crying if subjected to ing of women and football is Men can get by and even aimed at females by deflecting letting themselves in for too. swearing and abuse! not new. The wonderful Soccer thrive in a woman’s world. But any truth in the criticism onto: They know being an official isn’t In conclusion, I firmly believe AM often shows ‘highlights’ of every now and again, we need a “You’re only saying that because easy, most probably they will that it does not matter who or women’s international matches release – an opportunity to com- I’m a girl.” I have instead played, have followed that sport for a what you are, male, female, accompanied by circus music. A pete and be aggressive and, if watched, coached and umpired number of years and certainly young, old, black, white, what- quick glance through any sup- not fully experience what we’re sports for a number of years and they will have studied the rule ever. As long as someone’s pre- porters’ message board will re- all about, then at least tap into no I am not some butch, violent book closely. Arsene Wenger has pared to referee and get the de- veal opinions such as: “Women it. Football is one such opportu- female either! Over this time actively supported women ref- cisions right, who am I to care are physically incapable of being nity. I have been both appalled and erees saying he would have “no what they are? We should be properly involved in football,” The presence of a woman impressed by some male and fe- complaints” about women offi- encouraging people such as fe- “They can referee any football (we’re not trying to impress with male officials and this equality is ciating at Arsenal matches - pro- males and those from minority match providing I am allowed to our immense masculine powers) my main argument. viding they were up to the job. groups to get involved in sport referee female mud wrestling” makes it difficult to achieve such Umpires, referees, officials - “If a referee who is a girl is bet- as a whole, and particuarly in and, best of all, “The issue is not a release. If this woman is a ref- whatever you want to call them ter than a man, it is no problem. officiating. There is no excuse how good she was at running eree, therefore on the pitch in - all have one thing in common: It is down to quality.” Obviously for slating officials, they are only the line, but who’s going to take among the players, it is impos- they are human, they will make Amy Rayner must know some- doing their best and deserve re- her place in the kitchen.” Even sible. We want to just go and act mistakes. As a referee you can thing about football otherwise spect from players, managers UEFA President Lennart Johan- naturally, but we can’t. It is as if officially never win! For exam- the FA wouldn’t have promoted and spectators, not abuse. Ulti- nson told us: “It would be a there’s no escape from civilising ple, in football no matter which her so highly and wouldn’t let mately, without an official, there good idea for women’s football forces. way a decision is given, eleven her be assistant referee for top would be no game. to be sold on sex appeal.” I’m not arguing that women players and a whole stadium full matches. In fact, Neale Barry, Finally, I think respect is owed I’m aware that my next state- should never be put in positions of spectators are going to be un- the FA’s Head of Senior Referee to Newell for speaking out for ment might precipitate hate of authority over men. A wom- happy. Therefore we should be Development, said: “Amy Rayn- what he believed, he’s a brave campaigns, legal action and an’s place on a board of directors applauding anyone who steps er is one of our leading female man talking out in such a sex- exile to Siberia, but I’ll take the should not be at risk because it up to the challenge, be they referees and is one step away ist way! However, personally, I risk: women should not offici- makes the men feel uncomfort- male or female. from the national list of referees. believe: “It is better to remain ate men’s football matches. Bear able. The success of the busi- Newell may have had a point She is a FIFA assistant referee.” silent and be thought a fool with me. I’m not misogynistic. ness is the overriding concern. about female officials, if male Not bad for a woman, eh? than to open one’s mouth and Honest. I’m not allying myself But football is about more referees never made any blun- Over the years huge amounts remove all doubt.” with those who believe that than results. Today’s women ders either. Recently we have of time, effort and money have women should not be allowed to have a great deal more access had many, well known, officiat- been invested into promoting What do you think? drive or vote. My view is based than ever before. It should go ing catastrophes. For example, women’s participation in sport, not on the weakness of women, without saying that this is entire- Graham Poll’s huge school-boy- whether it be in management, Was Mike Newell right to chal- but their strength. ly right. All I’m asking (politely) error of awarding three yel- officiating or high performance. lege women’s place in sport? Women civilise men. From is that a men’s football match – low cards during the FIFA 2006 Criticism and undermining of ensuring that the house is not a so important to us – is one thing World Cup. If Poll, apparently female officials abilities by com- Email your views to state to eating with our mouths that you just let us have. England’s top referee, who be- ments such as Newell’s only sets [email protected] Wessex Scene: Action, The BIG debate: Women Aid & Awareness Officials - is it a man’s game? wessexSPORT Naked ambition for charity Simon Webb tial Arts Marathon is scheduled As Christmas approaches so does to commence and will cover a the excitement regarding RAG seven day period in which mem- (Raise and Give) Charity action. bers of different marital arts Two years ago RAG delivered a clubs try to master fourteen dif- splendid fashion show involv- ferent martial arts. It will serve as ing many of the University’s a test of skill, stamina and con- lovely students wearing as little viction as well as provide spec- as possible. It has escalated from tators with a rare opportunity there: there has been the charity to see Southampton University’s standard baked bean baths, the championship-winning martial sponsored silences and so forth. arts teams. The clubs are also or- But now the AU and RAG have ganizing competitions where en- united to deliver the ultimate in try fees are used to make dona- charity chic: The Naked Calen- tions to charities. The event shall dar. be held at Jubilee Sports Centre That’s right, this year South- and spectators are welcome. ampton University’s students As part of Healthy Living will not have to saunter down Week the AU is running the an- to Jesters to see the best looking nual swimathon on 13 Decem- students in Southampton strip ber at the Jubilee Sports Centre, naked in a moment of alcohol- the event is reguarly contested induced euphoria. Now for the The rugby boys stripped down in the name of charity by halls teams, societies and small price of £5 anyone can even rival AU clubs. Last year marvel at the fine figures of the captains inviting members to get for charities such as The British The football club hold a char- saw most halls enter the event AU members twelve months of naked saw hundreds replying, Heart Foundation. ity ‘slave’ auction twice a year and a number of outstanding the year. hoping to strut their stuff. The Ladies’ Hockey Club has and the event develops into a performances by members of The RAG committee invited The AU has had a long as- chosen to resurrect an old fa- game of one-up-manship as at- the Officer Training Corp. all the AU clubs to attend a pho- sociation with charity work, not vourite and reintroduce the Bra tendees volunteer to do more The relatively young Dodge- to shoot in the Students’ Union only in support of RAG but for Match. Alas it is not a series of and more outrageous things to ball Club are running the first building on 14 November and their own nominated charities. one-on-one bouts to see who raise some funds. Last year be- ever Southampton Univerisy many clubs seized the opportu- The Boat Club has held count- can strip their opponent down to gan with ‘slaves’ auctioned off dodgeball tournament at the nity, club-wide emails from club less ergothons to raise funds their knickers first, but an eleven- to clean houses, take the ‘own- sports centre with all proceeds a-side game played wearing only er’ out for a meal and so forth, going to charity. Again all clubs black or white bras. The SULHC then escalated into members of and societies are welcome to will field two teams made up of rival clubs proving they were join in and entrants are strongly players from across the club all more bizarre than each other advised to practice their ‘dodge, uniting in their common love of with pledges to have men kiss duck, dip, dive and dodge’ be- partial nudity and will to give. men, strip and much more! fore 11 December. The fixture was last held four The Rugby Club has decided years ago at Wellington Sports to do a great deal of commu- Ground and will surely attract nity action volunteer work this The RAG calendar is hundreds of supporters and semester while the martial arts £5 and is available from raise a great deal for charity at clubs have set the bench mark the Student Union shop the new home of Wessex Sport, when it comes to charity drives. at Highfield Campus. Will the SULHC soon be doing battle in a WWE ring? Wide Lane. From 13 December the Mar-

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