Is that the best you’ve got? He would have loved to have been in The Young Ones, still sneaks the odd fag, and feels sorry for Chris Huhne. On the eve of the all-important Eastleigh by-election, the deputy prime minister Nick Clegg tells our celebrity questioners what he really thinks

QUIZMASTER: YORK MEMBERY Portrait by Harry Borden Nick clegg from whatever party, are decent people trying to do the right thing. And in my experience, the vast majority of MPs aren’t in it for the money.

Richard 5 Madeley Broadcaster

Getting a peacetime coalition airborne was one heck of an achievement. How long before the back- bench mutineers of both parties bring everything crashing back to earth? Are we being served? There have been A teenage Clegg (second stresses and strains from left) on a London tennis — one pulling to the court with friends, 1984. Below: with wife Miriam and right, one pulling to baby Miguel, 2009. Right: the left — but as long Chris Huhne and his now as I’m involved, I’m ex-wife Vicky Pryce, 2010 going to make sure it’s anchored to the centre.

Jeremy Clarkson guarantee for state pensions. These are great Marcus Brigstocke 1 Journalist and broadcaster achievements, but I perfectly accept that Irvine 6 Comedian is never going to give us credit for any of that. Do you feel sorry for Chris Huhne? You have three wishes, one political, one After all, he was only speeding. Arthur smith personal and one free choice. What will I do feel sorry for the whole family because 3 Comedian you do with them? Answer correctly and they have all clearly become engulfed in you win a peerage. something that has spun right out of control. What would you do if you lost your On the political front, that’s easy — a Liberal It’s not the speeding that is the issue here, it’s parliamentary seat and had to pursue a Democrat government. On a personal front, my the subsequent offence of perverting the course career outside politics. Would you make a wish would be to get more sleep. The third would of justice — and Chris has pleaded guilty. good marriage-guidance counsellor? be to have more time to practise my tennis. But I’ve no intention of losing my parliamentary you can forget the peerage — I certainly Irvine Welsh seat! My political career has got a way to run wouldn’t want one, at least not in 2 Novelist, author of Trainspotting yet. But I’ve always said that I don’t see myself today’s unreformed House of Lords. in politics for ever. After politics, who knows Now that you’ve reneged on any worthwhile — though I think one Lib Dem MP turned Lee Child policies you had, and have effectively been stand-up comic is enough 7 Thriller writer lobby fodder to prop up a reactionary and [Lembit Öpik]. unpopular Conservative government, what Was joining the coalition exactly is the point of the Liberal Democrats? carol worthwhile? Aren’t you What a wonderfully objective question. 4 v orderman politically impotent? I think Lib Dems can hold their heads up high Broadcaster I flatly disagree that on having delivered some key manifesto it’s an exercise promises. I’ve also just recently announced Why can’t we halve in day-to-day a very progressive policy to allow mothers the number of MPs, impotence. I think and fathers to take interchangeable parental pay them more — in 2½ years as a leave. That wouldn’t have happened without and get better party in a coalition us being in government. The same goes for the people? we’ve already achieved

previous pages: harry borden for the sunday times magazine. magazine. times the sunday borden for harry previous pages: ap; solent news; rex left: from top clockwise pages, T hese Green Investment Bank and the triple-lock Most MPs I know, as much as many single-party

42 The Sunday Times Magazine nick clegg

governments do in twice that time. sufficient to meet our global commitments? So was it worth it? You bet. ‘ i feel sorry for It’s unlikely that the UK is going to undertake a future military expedition entirely on its Dame Jenni Murray the whole of chris own over a prolonged period of time in a 8 Broadcaster far-flung location. huhne’s family Why are you part of a government that’s Martha Kearney putting more women than men out of work because it’s spun 13 Broadcaster and reducing the affordability and accessibility of childcare? out of control’ There are reports that the Conservatives There are actually more women in work than have a hit list of 20 Lib Dem MPs they are ever before — although there is admittedly an Infringement of IP is already a crime. going to target at the next election. Is that issue around the fact that we’ve got more People can also be charged under the Fraud making relations inside the coalition difficult? women than men working in lower-paid, Act. However, it’s a complex area and some I think that in revealing their hand so soon, part-time jobs. We’re taking steps to make it cases are more suited to the civil courts. they’ve made a tactical blunder. We’ll be more accessible than any previous government. targeting Conservative seats too — but I’m not We’re delivering 15 hours’ free childcare and india knight going to start telling our electoral opponents pre-school support for all three- and four-year- 11 Journalist and author what our tactics are going to be at the next olds. But I accept that childcare is a huge cost general election. Where we can get our side of for many families and prevents a lot of women I sent two of my three children to private the story across on the doorsteps, we’re a potent from going back into work. My No 1 priority school, because at the time, the borough political force. Where we’re encountering now is to ensure we can find the money for we lived in [Hackney] was at the very bottom problems is where we have no meaningful more affordable childcare. of the league tables. What’s your excuse — presence on the ground, or Labour is very if you feel you need one? much in the ascendant. Stuart MacBride I don’t think any parent should need any excuse 9 Crime writer to do the best they can for their children. As it Nigel Planer happens, Miriam and I haven’t decided where we 14 Actor A lot of people (especially ladies of a certain are going to send our oldest boy to secondary age) tell me that they read crime fiction school. That’s despite the endless commentary If you’d have carried on with the acting, because they’re not allowed to actually kill that suggests people know more than we do. what role do you think you’d have been their partner, and fantasising about it is the ideally suited to play, and why? Do you see next best thing. What kind of books do you Admiral Lord WesT yourself as having been more of a Benedict like to unwind with? Or do you have to save 12 Former First Sea Lord Cumberbatch or a Martin Freeman — that them for your holidays? is, a Holmes or a Watson? I have a book on the go all the time. It’s Do you believe that 19 destroyers and I’ll let others be the judge of that. I don’t think important for a politician to have a hinterland: frigates (which, disgracefully in my mind, the West End has lost much by my move into interests outside politics, be it literature, are all that the UK now possesses) are politics. Having said that, I’d love to have had theatre or family life. It helps you a walk-on part when Nigel was in keep things in perspective. I’m The Young Ones. I was part of that currently reading The Garden of generation that loved the show. Evening Mists, a beautifully written book by Tan Twan Eng. Before that Dominic Sandbrook I read Capital by John Lanchester — 15 Historian and next on my list is Hilary Mantel’s Bring up the Bodies. The only books The Liberal party never recovered I never read are autobiographies by from the Asquith-Lloyd George split politicians who, within a millisecond during the First World War — the of retiring, declare they were the best last time yours was a majority party thing since sliced bread. of government. Which side would you have been on, and would they Trevor Baylis have approved of you going into 10 Inventor of the wind-up radio coalition with the Conservatives? Well, Lloyd George had a war to fight, For every British inventor who while Asquith wanted to keep the has been recognised, many others party together. So it’s difficult not to have been ripped off. Isn’t it sympathise with both men. However, about time a government made I think both would have understood the theft of intellectual property us joining the Conservatives in a a white-collar crime? coalition today to do the right a

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thing in the national interest — although of Lib Dems and Conservatives want to we’re thankfully not fighting a war, we do decentralise things away from Whitehall. have troops in Afghanistan, and we’re And it’s not so much personal preferences facing prolonged economic difficulties. that determine the nature of a coalition — it’s what the people tell us. Jonathan Dimbleby 16 Broadcaster lynn barber 23 Journalist I am sure you want to lead your party into the next election. Can you think of Did your admission that you’d slept youth culture any reason why you should not do so? Clegg reveals to Nigel Planer with 30 women lead to a whole new I’ve got a lot of fuel in the tank. And the (second from right) that crop of offers? more one goes on and learns from he would love to have No. experience, and yes, one’s mistakes, the appeared in The Young Ones more one gets a clearer idea of what the Nicholas Parsons big things are that need to be done. All I 24 Radio presenter can say is that you shouldn’t go into frontline politics if you’ve got a thin skin. ‘there will be a Do you think you’ve increased the prestige of the party by agreeing to join the coalition — Sir Roy Strong number of serious and what is the party’s future as a result? 17 Art historian By being in coalition, not only are we showing contenders that our heart is in the right place, but we’re Will England have a right to vote on Scottish capable of taking those difficult decisions. independence — and if not, shouldn’t it? for my job when No, I think it’s a decision for the Scottish people Mark Borkowski to decide, although I think independence the time arises’’ 25 Publicist would be disastrous for all of us. to leave any predictions to the pundits. There Do people know the ‘real’ Nick Clegg — Richard Harries will no doubt be a number of serious or have your PR team let you down? 18 Bishop of Oxford from 1987-2006 contenders for the job when the time arises. I totally accept that people want to know who you really are, but at the same time I’ve always If you’re in a coalition with Labour after the Sir Bernard Ingham sought to protect my family’s privacy. My wife next election, what Liberal Democrat policies 21 Margaret Thatcher’s chief press secretary and I are lucky: we’re very happy and have would you insist on? three young children, who are the apples of my I’m not going to start writing our manifesto here Why don’t you concentrate on the only thing eye. I want my kids to grow up as normal as — but given that coalitions are likely to be more, that will bring you electoral reward — possible, so if it’s a choice between an easy rather than less, likely over time, all political namely, putting the nation’s appalling headline or protecting my children’s privacy, parties are going to have to be upfront with finances in order — instead of chasing I’ll always choose the latter. people about the policies they’re going to fight irrelevancies such as Lords’ reform and tooth-and-nail to deliver under all circumstances. proportional representation? Nick Ferrari If Sir Bernard casts his eyes back to Mrs 26 Radio presenter rod liddle Thatcher’s time, he’ll know it’s possible for a 19 Journalist, broadcaster and author government to do more than one thing at once. You were captain of tennis at school yet When he was in government, the Tories, for you always seem to lose to the prime Do you feel uncomfortable being a member instance, liberated the Falklands and minister. Why? of the least socially representative cabinet of decimated the industrial base in the north Because I let him win. That’s a joke. I think the the past 50 years? of England. That’s two things at once. reason is simple: I don’t practise enough. I think the whole of politics, not just the I’m far too erratic a player. cabinet, isn’t representative of modern LORD TEBBIT Britain. But neither is journalism, for that 22 Former Conservative party Lord Steel matter. I think Parliament as a whole looks chairman and cabinet minister 27 Former Liberal leader and acts like a place from another century. Would most of your party be happier in Are you happy that serious law breakers Adam Boulton coalition with the Europhile Labour party than are allowed to return to the Lords (unlike in 20 Political editor of Sky News the Eurosceptic Tories? the Commons) because we have no power Clearly, the Lib Dems and Labour have more in to expel them? Who do you think will be the next leader common in wanting to make the most of our EU That’s one of the many things that’s wrong with of the Liberal Democrats? membership rather than constantly heading the unreformed House of Lords. But as David

bbc Is that a job application? I’m afraid I’m going towards the exit sign. But equally, a fair number knows, his own bill will only apply to future a

44 The Sunday Times Magazine nick clegg criminals, not to those who’ve already in the world. Vince Cable, in his role as committed a crime. ‘i left my full-time business secretary, plays a prominent role in ensuring it’s properly policed. Sir Martin Sorrell smoking habit 28 Businessman Michael Grade behind me. 30 Former chairman of the BBC, CEO Why doesn’t the government have a growth of Channel 4 and executive chairman of ITV strategy that embraces education, taxation, but i still fall technology, infrastructure and immigration? Who is going to win the next election? The electorate needs a vision. (Vince is right!) off the wagon’ There is a lot of fluidity in politics at the I think the vision is there — you just can’t moment. You’ve got a quite profound deliver it overnight. We’re not just balancing bomb villages in Yemen as recently disenchantment with mainstream politics, the books — we need to do a whole lot more as 2009? In light of this, do you think with the result that some non-mainstream than that. Crucially, we need to wean one part Mr Cameron should have been seeking parties are doing better than they used to. But of the country off its reliance on one sector, new arms deals with Saudi Arabia? at the end of the day, when people’s pencils are financial services, and rebalance the economy. You can take a purist position — saying hovering over the ballot paper, I think they’ll It’s about catering to the near-100,000 square that we should never manufacture arms or ask themselves who is best placed to produce a miles of the United Kingdom, not just the one sell them to other governments — if you’re strong economy and a fair society. The answer Square Mile in the City of London. a pacifist. I’m not. I believe there are to that is the Liberal Democrats. circumstances in which armed conflict is Kate Allen unavoidable. The key thing is to make sure Jacqui Smith 29 Director of Amnesty International UK that the manufacture and the trading of 31 Former Labour home secretary arms is done with the utmost transparency Are you aware that UK-supplied aircraft — and I think by common consent we have Apart from Cameron, which prime minister of were reportedly used by Saudi Arabia to one of the most rigorous arms export regimes the last 50 years do you most admire?

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I’d like to stretch the time period a bit and political culture. I think we just have to try shared a few fags with you over the years. choose Attlee, who was deputy PM to harder to make people aware of this fact. I remember those times very fondly. Lady Churchill during the Second World War, and Elspeth is one of the most dedicated but also went on to be prime minister in his own right Floella Benjamin distinguished smokers I’ve ever come across. in the 1945-51 Labour government — and in 33 Actress, former children’s I actually left my full-time smoking habit his own quiet way, delivered some of the TV presenter and life peer behind me some time ago. Although I have to biggest transformations in this country in the admit that I still occasionally fall off the wagon. postwar period. I admire his quiet resilience Following the result of the US presidential and his capacity to leave Britain transformed. election, do you think the battle for the BME chris tarrant (black and minority ethnic) vote could decide 35 Broadcaster Simon Mayo the next election here — and why should 32 Radio presenter people from the BME community vote Lib Dem? You’ve admitted crying to music. What The BME vote will obviously be more triggers your tears — One Direction? In the years I covered Westminster for important in some parts of the country than I love music, but I’ve learnt a few lessons since 5 Live, I found MPs, overwhelmingly, to be others — but I don’t see winning that vote as an becoming deputy prime minister. One is not to honest, decent folk trying their damnedest to electoral tactic. We should, as a matter of expand on a question that’s already invited a represent their constituents and argue for course, be seeking to build a society in which fair amount of ridicule. what they thought was right. Why isn’t that everyone feels they have a rightful place. reflected in the public’s opinion and what can susan penhaligon you and your fellow MPs do about it? Lady Elspeth Campbell 36 Actress Politicians may be rightly sneered at some of 34 Wife of former Lib Dem leader the time, but the vast majority of MPs from Sir Menzies Campbell What’s David Cameron’s most endearing whatever party are sincere people, working trait? And his worst? hard trying to pursue their own particular idea Are you still smoking — and if so, how do you He’s got a very good sense of humour. of how Britain should be run in an aggressive find the time? I ask as someone who’s But he is a Conservative s