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Autumn 2013 Stepping Back PRISON PHOENIX TRUST P.O. BOX 328, OXFORD, OX2 7HF www.theppt.org.uk 25 years Newsletter, Autumn 2013 STEPPING BACK hen you’re up against hard situations or when really paying attention. He knows that the condition of his mind everything is kicking off at once, your first sets the scene for the whole of his life. And he knows the state of Winstinct may be to try to figure your way out of it his mind affects the lives of others as well. Because he was in the or through it. Our brains are great at this. It’s one of the things habit of sitting in meditation, he could sit still, focussing on his they do, and it’s a way that most of us are used to. Completely breath and see his old mental habits. Through this practice, he normal. had developed the capacity for patience, and for not responding But what if, when you are in the middle of some awful period in to his old impulses. He realised that it is possible to not engage your life, or you find yourself with his own mind in any in a scene where some action of the familiar ways – on seems to be demanded of you this really fine level of the – what if, instead of acting mind, moment to moment. through your thinking or That is not only possible trying to figure things out, for all of us, but also it you actually step back from leads to a better feeling that familiar choice of acting about being alive and and doing, and instead simply about who we are. be with what is going on? It’s not just when we’re What if you could switch out in the middle of difficulties of the mode of trying to fix it Women at HMP Bronzefield find that we can step back all and just allow what was going on? openness and energy from the usual activity of the mind. When This may sound impossible, but things are going okay or even really well, many of you tell us about doing just this regularly, sometimes you can also do it. In fact, if you’re interested in meditation, because you have no choice: the depression has become so bad, that’s the whole idea: no matter how glorious or hellish or ho- or your medication has been cut, or you simply don’t see another hum things seem, bring yourself back again and again to the way. And somehow, in an unexpected way, things often clear simplicity of the breath, letting everything else go. Let go of themselves up. This is what a prisoner friend says on page two. the habit of following the emotions and thoughts. Discover that Not only did he manage to get through horrific heartbreak, he by letting go of that habit, how you act, think and feel actually found he was sitting on a powerhouse of creativity. becomes more harmonious and enjoyable. Similarly, a friend on page four talks about the temptation of getting back into crime once he was out. It was hard, but he took Love Sam – and Lucy, Sally, Jason, a step back, remembered the peace he had found at times while Clive, David, Kaye & Brent in prison, and – with a lot of work and help – was slowly able to cultivate that peace again and be more the person he wanted to be. Not easy. But completely worth it. His stepping back was a matter of lifestyle choices and actions. “Learn to take the backward But he’s also talking about the moment-to-moment activity in step that turns the light and the mind and heart that’s subtle: quite hard to spot unless you’re shines it inward. ” ~ Dogen Zenji, Japanese Zen master, 1200 - 1253 ABOUT THE PRISON PHOENIX TRUST The Prison Phoenix Trust supports prisoners in their spiritual Contents lives through meditation, yoga, silence and the breath. Page 2-3 Prisoners’ Letters It recommends breath-focussed stretches and meditation Page 2 Meditation Corner sensitively tailored to students’ needs. This safe practice Page 4 Never Giving Up offers students ultimate peace of mind. The PPT encourages Page 5 Seeing a Bigger Picture prisoners and prison staff through correspondence, books, CDs, Page 6 Yoga: Your Flexible Friend newsletters, free taster workshops and weekly classes. Page 7 Suddenly Feeling Free Page 8 Past Tense Meditation Corner From Cork Prison ast year you sent Prisoners’ Lme Becoming Free From HMP Send Coming Through Meditation and Yoga and We’re All Doing Time, plus his might sound silly your CD. They have been put to great Tbut I feel honoured to have my Unstuck? use. own copy of We’re All Doing Time as What a roller coaster I have been on I have suggested to friends and to some By Jason since I last wrote. Not long after my of my peers to read it as it helped me so last letter, I found out my wife had met much during my RAPT treatment and ow annoying to be labelled like someone else. I was heartbroken, have hope it will inspire others as it did me, and the contents of a tin! It happens never in my life felt any pain like it. continues to inspire me as I read it again. all the time: celebrity, teenager, The darkest parts of my mind revealed The article you sent me came at the H themselves. I started to fall apart. My life right time as I had begun to chase the VIP, prisoner, screw, politician, VP, yogi, gangster. The list goes on and it seems no was over. After all I had been through in ‘goal’ of the few times I have had or one is immune from being labelled. Over my life, how was this happening to me? experienced the great spiritual magic and the years I’ve been a pupil, apprentice, She had always stood by me, the only I began to feel frustrated and disappointed biker, engineer, zen meditator. All of these person who really knew me. How could I that I was not able to recreate these are the result of someone go on without her? I cried bitter tears but I experiences every time, agonising and sticking a label on the continued to meditate. I started to meditate obsessing: what am I doing wrong, what tin, sometimes without more, did the yoga every morning. Slowly am I forgetting to do? Chasing rapture understanding what’s but surely I started to feel better and I was ruining my meditation practice. So inside. started to accept that she was gone and thank you again. I’m back on track again Thankfully, when the instead of blocking out my feelings with enjoying the sitting and the breath, not mind is still and quiet, drink and drugs like I would have in the chasing rapture. these labels tend to float away, rather like past, I learned to sit with my feelings, soaking the label in water and watching accept them. I have gone from strength From HMP Wayland it unstick. By sitting upright, with the to strength. I am doing great now, thank body in alignment and perfectly still, God. I could not have done it without the t HMP Wormwood our attention can focus on each breath, meditation and yoga. AScrubs I tried silently inhaling and exhaling through Through the pain I started to write. I meditation a few times and did yoga the nose. Gradually we can see that every wrote poems to my wife saying sorry for and meditation with a yoga peer but here label we are given is based on an opinion. the way I had been before, explaining there is meditation in the chapel every This may be someone else’s opinion, or how I knew the pain I had put her through Wednesday. It is helpful and fun; I’ve met it may be ours. But we can be certain we and how I will always love her. friends there. The woman who does it is were not born with this label, whether it called Joyce, a nice woman who teaches be good or bad. And so the label starts to From HMP Perth us well. I’ve gone around 12 times. unpeel. The mind may start to think again I’m a new me and I’m healthier, – ‘I am a prisoner’. This is another opinion editation and stronger and mentally wiser now, with the and one we can choose to feed. But at this Myoga has been support of you guys and many others in very moment there is no prison, there is a godsend, a gift that this marvellous life journey which gets just the vast emptiness of the mind. All I have readily welcomed, as I was in better with time. our labels, opinions, hopes and fears solitary and still am, in a different prison. start to disappear as each moment passes. I didn’t really know much about it three From HMP Liverpool There is no label which will ever describe months ago until I was cut off Diazepam, ourselves accurately, and so we are free to which I have been a prisoner to for too y drug of choice is heroin, but to be whoever we wish each moment. long. Mbe honest I’ll try anything to get You may feel concerned that a blank Anyway, I now feel the best I have a buzz. I am basically a reoffender - nine unlabelled tin will never be chosen for done in years, my concentration is sentences - and a long term drug user.
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