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Southern Standard, McMinnville, Tenn., Sunday, June 24, 2018 5A Kim Jong Un, Trump impersonators create stir Visitors to Merlion Park in Aspen Times. Climbing part- that my family will not be said he thought he was Singapore on June 8 were ner Andrea Cutter said of left hanging without an inside a real-life version of startled to see Kim Jong Un NEWS OF THE WEIRD the news, “It made me think, income or insurance,” the “Grand Theft Auto” and Donald Trump enjoying ‘Jeez, it’s just so wrong.’” San Maggs said. “We’re going to video game. Among other a casual walkabout, hand-in- and Checkpoints Authority result of their purchases Miguel County Coroner be fine.” charges, Clark was accused hand. On closer inspection, said Wun was interviewed because they were over- Emil Sante said officials of driving under the influ- however, they would have for about 45 minutes. charged” and “McDonald’s “have no reason to believe JUST Say NO ence and second-degree seen the two men were is being unjustly enriched by that it was suspicious at all.” On June 2, as two Jackson criminal mischief. Howard X, a Kim imperson- THE LITIGIOUS SOCIETY these practices.” While attor- County, Ore., sheriff’s depu- ator, and Dennis Alan, a If you’ve ordered a ney Andrew Lavin admits SWEET REVENGE ties waited for a tow truck to EWWWWWWW! Trump impersonator, who Quarter Pounder recently the mobile app ordering In a bid to unseat his boss, remove a 2003 Toyota Camry -- In Beihai, South China, traveled to Singapore in and specified “no cheese,” option does offer a Quarter Bon Homme County, S.D, from the side of a road, an unnamed 51-year-old advance of the June 12 sum- you may be interested in a $5 Pounder without cheese, he deputy sheriff Mark Maggs 23-year-old Anthony J. man had been experiencing mit meeting between the million class-action lawsuit notes in-store customers thrashed Sheriff Lenny Clark, of Grants Pass, nonstop nosebleeds for 10 two real leaders. brought against McDonald’s have no such choice. Gramkow in the June 5 walked up to the car and days when his wife told him Janette Warokka of on May 8 by Cynthia Kissner Republican primary by a told the deputies he was she saw something “peek” Indonesia was fooled: “It’s of Broward County, Fla., and IRONY vote of 878 to 331. So Sheriff going to steal it. He then got out of his nose. In June, so shocking for me. I don’t Leonard Werner of Miami- Charlotte Fox, 61, an Gramkow didn’t waste any into the car and drove off, Metro News reported, the know why those two famous Dade. According to the accomplished mountain time: Less than a minute leading officers on a 40-mile man went to Beihai People’s guys come here,” she told Miami Herald, the two are climber who summited after the polls closed, he chase through Ashland, Hospital, where Dr. Liu the Associated Press. Airport angry they’ve been paying Mount Everest in 1996, met fired Maggs, the Sioux Falls Talent and Phoenix, Oregon, Xiongguang removed a officials were less amused for cheese even though they an unlikely death May 24 Argus Leader reported. “As crashing into fences and slithery, several-inches-long when Kim’s doppelganger, ordered their sandwiches when she fell down the of this moment you are no driving the wrong way on leech from his nostril as a whose real name is Lee without it. The lawsuit con- hardwood stairs at her home longer an employee of Bon several roads. nurse filmed the procedure. Howard Ho Wun, arrived at tends “customers ... continue in Telluride, Colo. Fox was Homme County,” Maggs’ When officers finally The doctor said the leech Changi Airport. Wun said to be overcharged for these part of the infamous 1996 termination notice read. stopped the car, The might have entered the police officers searched his products, by being forced to Mount Everest expedition Maggs, a 31-year-old Oregonian reported, Clark patient’s nose as he swam in bags and detained him for pay for two slices of cheese, chronicled in “Into Thin Air” father of four, will not ran into a mobile home park, a river. two hours before releasing which they do not want, by Jon Krakauer, when eight become sheriff until January, where he was arrested try- Send your items with subject him with stern warnings to order or receive.” climbers died. but he is confident the coun- ing to steal another car. The line WEIRD NEWS to stay away from the summit. Also, Kissner and Werner Friends called her fall ty commission “will stand deputies reported Clark WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal. Singapore’s Immigration “have suffered injury as a “shocking,” according to The with my family ... and ensure admitted taking LSD and com. Goin' bananas! Lacy Garrison photo Car driver Pamelia Baines received a citation for careless driving after a two-car collision that took place on Sparta Street in front of Three Star Mall on Friday morning. Wreck injures woman, 53 BY LACY GARRISON Injured was Smithville resident F150 driven by Rock Island resi- Reporter for the Southern Standard Pamelia Baines, 53, who was at dent Timothy King. King, 59, did (McMinnville, Tennessee) fault for the collision. According not sustain any injuries from the to McMinnville patrolman Eddie crash. A Friday morning wreck sent a Colwell, Baines received a citation The two vehicles collided in the 53-year-old woman to the hospital for careless driving. middle of the intersection with A banana split brings a smile. Just ask 8-year- with an apparent neck injury. As her Ford Fusion was travel- both suffering damage. King was old Zoe’ Jones, who enjoys her bowl of ice cream The two-vehicle crash happened ing through the main intersection walking around after the wreck outside the Southern Standard office Friday after- on Sparta Street in front of Three in front of the mall, it was struck while Baines was transported to noon. For more coverage of the newspaper’s cus- Star Mall just after 11 a.m. on the passenger side by a Ford Saint Thomas River Park Hospital. tomer appreciation day, see 1C. First Lady's 'don't care' message raises eyebrows NEW YORK (AP) — I looking to sound off, but If Mrs. Trump’s jacket, er-message, or a clear clear winner is a recon- shouted on Twitter, really don’t care, do u? to raise money benefiting from Zara’s spring-sum- diss of the “fake news figuring to read, simply: Facebook and Instagram: Perhaps one day first children like those the mer 2016 collection, was media” as her husband “I really do care, do “Rise up” and “I have no lady Melania Trump will first lady visited. some sort of count- tweeted, the memes’ you?” Other messages idea what I’m doing.” use her own words to illuminate her fashion “don’t care” message. Until that theoretical moment, we have the memes on one of the digisphere’s most perfect blank canvases: Her green $39 jacket — one so JOHN MORGAN IS five seasons ago, no less. Tony European labels have been more Mrs. Trump’s favor until READY TO SERVE Thursday’s trip to a Texas center housing some of the more than 2,300 With over 40 years of military and law enforcement experience, migrant children sent there after their families John Morgan has the knowledge and skills to protect the people entered the U.S. illegally. of Warren County and the integrity to do what is right. When the first lady left Washington and returned, it was in the I will stand-up to crime, so that our honest, hard- Zara jacket with the mes- working citizens are not victims of the lawless. sage heard ‘round the interwebs scrawled graf- fiti-style in white block I am asking for your vote August 2 letters on the back. She switched to a different Early Voting: July 13-28 jacket for the visit. It’s the back, where “I really don’t care, do u?” was placed by the global mass market brand Zara, VOTE that has become social media’s playground, from the compassionate FOR JOHN 26417 to the downright raun- chy. Whatever Mrs. Trump may or may not have intended — her spokeswoman declared “it’s a jacket” with “no hidden message” — the MORGAN outerwear’s doctored image not only spread rapidly among those warren co. sherriff POLITICAL AD PAID FOR AND APPROVED BY JOHN T. MORGAN, CANDIDATE.

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